Home > Theater Reviews > Archives > 2007 > November > 26 > Entry
‘Curvy Widow’ @ Alliance Theatre
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
THEATER REVIEW. Grade: D
In Bobby Goldman’s “Curvy Widow,” Cybill Shepherd is so immaculately coiffed that it looks like every one of her lovely blonde curls has its own personal stylist. (Come to think of it, perhaps it does.)
The point is, the 57-year-old former beauty queen and world- famous film star looks fantastic.
If only she could wield as much control over the text of this one-woman show as she does those golden locks.
The problem with Goldman’s rambling, 90-minute one act on Internet dating, which had its world premiere Sunday night at the Alliance Theatre, is that it has so darn many words, and Shepherd can’t get them out of mouth without flubbing them.
Perhaps it was opening night jitters. But in my six years of reviewing theater for this newspaper, I have never seen a performance as embarrassing and painful to watch as this.
Shepherd’s unfortunate performance brings to mind Julia Roberts’ unhappy Broadway debut last year, and an infamous stock production of “The Women” in which former glamour queen Gloria Swanson kept forgetting her lines.
Bashing film stars who dare to trod the boards has become the contemporary world’s answer to gladiator sports. It’s the easy way out, and I’m not interested in going there. All that said, you’d have to be a sadist to take pleasure in “Curvy Widow.”
Though Shepherd tried to recover from her first lapse by turning up the megawatt smile and ditzy charm, she also drew attention to her panic by snapping out of character.
All this made me wonder if a better actress could redeem Goldman’s autobiographical play. Maybe someone who could give the words natural inflection, instead of sounding as if she were reading from a teleprompter.
Like her character, Goldman married a man more than 20 years her senior and became a widow in her mid-’50s. She also ran a successful business and had trouble finding love because men found her to be so smart, quirky and intimidating.
Dating 65 guys in four months is laden with comic potential. It’s also a well-trod storytelling device that’s provided the grist for everything from Helen Gurley Brown’s “Sex and the Single Girl” to Theresa Rebeck’s “Bad Dates.”
In having her character hopscotch from homes in New York and Vero Beach, Fla., and trade her pink Chanel for black Armani, Goldman strings together a bunch of zingy one liners (“Maybe golf removes the penis”) but offers precious little insight on the themes of modern love and self-reliance.
And neither director Scott Schwartz (Broadway’s “Golda’s Balcony”) nor his New York-based creative team can smooth out the rough spots with their technological gimmickry. Though David C. Woolard’s set and costumes are elegant, Sten Severson and Mark Bennett’s sound design is tired and predictable, and Michael Clark’s projections provide the nifty trick of zipping us from one scene to the next - yet often to garish effect.
It should be pointed out that though the Alliance provided a home for this show and helped its commercial producers get it up and running, it’s not a part of the theater’s regular season.
“Curvy Widow” is a vanity project which proves that if you throw enough money at something, you can get it produced. For the right price, you can also get a big name star. But if she can’t say the words, why bother?
THE 411: Through Dec. 16. $50-$75. Alliance Theatre, Hertz Stage, Woodruff Arts Center, 1280 Peachtree St., Midtown. 404-733-5000, www.alliancetheatre.org.
BOTTOM LINE: Shepherd is hopelessly lost in this mediocre play.
Comments
Commenting is now closed for this entry.
By sbd
November 26, 2007 12:19 PM | Link to this
It wasn’t opening night jitters. She was this bad on the Saturday preview night, too. Lame, stale script, poorly directed, badly acted by a cruelly mis-cast Cybill Shepherd. Do I interpret the reviewer’s comment to mean that Alliance Theatre should disown this sorry production?
By Brian B
November 26, 2007 5:58 PM | Link to this
Having seen this on Wednesday, the 21st, I agree wholeheartedly that this play might be much better with another actress, specifically Holland Taylor, who plays the curvy widow with much less angst on the sitcom “Two and a Half Men”.
By Suzanne
November 27, 2007 11:51 AM | Link to this
Very much appreciate this review. It’s always tempting to go see a Big Name in a small, intimate production. The illusion of being close to greatness, perhaps? Who knows… Thank you for being our bellweather of theatre.
I am going to have to correct your verb tense in the seventh paragraph: “Bashing film stars who dare to trod the boards…” The verb trod is past tense, used correctly further on in your article as a past participle, describing something as “well-trod”. The proper tense in the cited sentence is present, which would be “tread”, i.e. “Bashing film stars who dare to tread the boards…”. I bring this to your attention only in the interest of maintaining your image as an erudite critic, and mine as a picky reader who has seen more than one columnist fall victim to the shortcomings of Spell Check and poor editing.
By Larry
November 27, 2007 3:54 PM | Link to this
While I appreciate Suzanne’s effort to correct Mr. Brock’s grammar, she should please note: The word “bellwether” does not have an “a” in it. Your spellcheck should have alerted you, Suzanne!
By Gary
November 27, 2007 4:19 PM | Link to this
Correcting other people’s mistakes, especially in an informal blog, is just rude. I just wanted to find out if this was a play worth seeing and how one of my all time favorite hotties from the ’70s was doing. I don’t think anyone is really interested in a spelling or grammar lesson. I’m sorry to read Cybill was not quite up to a live show but maybe with a few more performances she’ll settle into the character. I’d be curious to find out if she improves by the end of the run.
By it's me
November 27, 2007 4:25 PM | Link to this
My brother and I sat with Ms. Shepherd at the lounge bar of the Georgian Terrace Hotel recently. After a simple hello, my brother asked her if he could buy her a drink. She totally ignored him. Later, as we were settling our tab, she said, “I hope you’re leaving money for the drink you offered me.” and ordered a DOUBLE top shelf drink! And I thought she was a Southern lady…
By Mike
November 27, 2007 4:53 PM | Link to this
Some friends and I caught the show on the 20th. Our reactions exactly reflected that of the reviewer’s. It was painful to watch. Cybill Shepherd would probably do better in a one-woman show about her own life based on her autobiography.
By Phyllis
November 27, 2007 7:15 PM | Link to this
Saw the play on the 24th and it was truly embaressing for the diva Shepherd. She came out expecting an applause of awe for a movie star, after a rather pregnant pause she got it, when did this sort of genuflexing begin and why? How could she flub so many lines and totally come out of character at least 3 times? This isn’t a high school production Ms. Shephard. Totally agree with review. Now who wants to correct my past participles?
By Tommy
November 28, 2007 6:35 AM | Link to this
The inside word is that her rider has a requirement: ‘you cannot mention Bruce Willis to Ms. Shepard’.
I would think she’d add “you cannot mention the dismal sitcom ‘Cybil’ or her work in this current play to Ms. Shepard.”
By Miman
November 29, 2007 1:55 AM | Link to this
We just saw the play tonight and we were so disappointed. We noted the script was too verbose, we thought the play should be acted in an intimate fashion like how women tell each other confidences, we wondered what the director was thinking to present this play the way he did. Cybill is totally wrong for the part and she was not connected to the character nor to the audience. Yeah we commented she seems to be reading the script for the first time. We wondered how Kristy Alley would do the play. We thought the costumes were wrong, a curvy widow should be dressed funkier and sexier. Cybill looked too sterile we wondered what happened to her sexiness. And she really looks a far cry from her previous self, we didn’t recognize her, and is there something wrong with her? She seems to have a limp and moves about stiffly we wondered if she’d had hip replacement. It was a boring performance, we dozed off in some parts.
By Stephen McCall
November 30, 2007 9:41 PM | Link to this
Mr. Brock—Your review of Ms. Shepherd’s performance is both unwise and unkind. It’s also ludicrous to say you’re not bashing film stars when you’ve just said it’s the worst performance you’ve seen in your six years of reviewing for the AJC. I saw “Widow” Wed. night, and no, she’s not Zoe Caldwell, but neither is the play “Master Class.” If Shepherd were not famous, you’d never have taken your gleeful, geeky pleasure of trouncing her in the way you did. Have you ever heard of damning with faint praise? Try it sometime. You can be truthful and still not be a horse’s ass. She was already smoother Wed. and will no doubt improve. And your review was unwise because God knows ATL could use a little star power, but if it gets known that a vituperative bulldog is its chief newspaper’s critic (a tragic situation all by itself), we’ll never get big names at all. Shame on you.
By annehossler
December 4, 2007 1:46 AM | Link to this
I think that the role could have been better played by Don Finney!
By Sharon
December 9, 2007 1:11 PM | Link to this
I have to disagree with some of these reviews. I saw Curvy Widow on Thursday, 12/6 with a friend and we both thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. Cybill looks fantastic and completely believable as the jet-setting, corporate widow. Yes, the play required non-stop lines for an hour and a half. I thought she did very well with only a couple of pauses - as if to catch her breath before continuing. Let’s give her a break, this is a light-hearted comedy not Macbeth! I was in the second row and had a great evening. I saw a tear on her face as some audience members gave Cybill a standing ovation and then she had an encore as everyone continued to applaud. Thank you Cybill for an enjoyable evening!