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Know any jokes about the economy?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Is there a humorous lining in an otherwise dark cloud of economic news?
We think so. We culled these gems from our Money Vent:
“I was about to open my retirement statement, but thought I should be near someone who knew CPR, so I went to the hospital ER first.”
“Freddie and Fannie sitting in a tree, S.P.E.N.D.I.N.G.”
Viewers of late night talk shows know that even a bad economy is fair game for a good laugh. According to About.com, Conan O’Brien once lobbed this at former Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan: “Yesterday Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan said he would be willing to serve another term. Greenspan said, ‘Where else would I get a job in this economy?’”
And who would expect a New York Stock Exchange floor trader to have sense of humor?
NYSE floor trader Ted Weisberg, who is president of Seaport Securities, was recently a guest on NPR’s “All Things Considered.”
“There are only two positions to take in this market: cash and fetal.”
We understand that the economic crisis is a serious matter that affects most metro Atlantans. But, for a moment at least, let’s find something to take the edge off. Afterall, laughter is the best medicine. What good jokes and one-liners have you heard about the economy?
You can find more tips on eating well for less, suggestions for cheap or free entertainment and general ways to cope with the economy at Your Money.
Comments
By Tom
October 14, 2008 8:12 AM | Link to this
My 401K is now a 201K.
By Tom
October 14, 2008 8:12 AM | Link to this
My 401K is now a 201K.
By Tom
October 14, 2008 8:14 AM | Link to this
My 401K is now a 201K.
By Tom
October 14, 2008 8:14 AM | Link to this
My 401K is now a 201K.
By Tom
October 14, 2008 8:16 AM | Link to this
My 401K is now a 201K.
By Tom
October 14, 2008 8:16 AM | Link to this
My 401K is now a 201K.
By mystery poster
October 14, 2008 8:19 AM | Link to this
Looks like Tom’s 201K is now a (201K)^6
By Nate
October 14, 2008 8:52 AM | Link to this
Halloween is gonna suck this year…considering kids will be ringing doorbells to empty foreclosed homes..
By Tom
October 14, 2008 9:19 AM | Link to this
I heard futures are up on mason jars and shovels.
By Gram
October 14, 2008 9:25 AM | Link to this
Thanks Tom, for your 401K joke. We got it.
The kids this year will appreciate the pennies I give out instead of candy.
By David S.
October 14, 2008 9:27 AM | Link to this
The biggest joke is that the people in our government, the folks on Wall Street, and far too many on Main Street actually believe all the lies that are being told about how this bailout is supposedly goint to fix the economy. When the next depression comes, and it will, the joke will be on all of us.
Don’t watch the news of this uneducated. Please check out:
www.lewrockwell.com and www.mises.org daily.
Also check out www.campaignforliberty.com to see what freedom loving people are doing to take this country back.
By mel
October 14, 2008 9:36 AM | Link to this
After this meltdown, my credit’s so bad, they won’t even take my cash.
By WeeWilly
October 14, 2008 9:38 AM | Link to this
John was in the fertilized egg business.
He had several hundred young layers (hens), called ‘pullets’, and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.
He kept records,and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.
This took a lot of time, So he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.
Each bell had a different tone,so he could tell from a distance,which rooster was performing.
Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.
John’s favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen,but this morning he noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all!
When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, could run for cover.
To John’s amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring.
He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.
The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pullet surprise as well.
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making.
Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren’t paying attention.
Vote carefully this year, the bells are not always audible.
By wes
October 14, 2008 9:44 AM | Link to this
Things are so bad at my house, my gold fish is now a bronze fish.
By Just Me
October 14, 2008 9:49 AM | Link to this
I am so broke that I can’t even afford to pay attention!
By bwarrend
October 14, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this
How can you tell when a politician is lying about the Economy?
His lips are moving.
By jbean3
October 14, 2008 10:12 AM | Link to this
The food prices are so bad that I am comparing prices of store brand and off label.
By Michael S
October 14, 2008 1:18 PM | Link to this
Got this via email the other day:
If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00. With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left. If you had purchased $1,000 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left. But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, You would have had $214.00. Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
It’s called the 401-Keg.
By Brian
October 15, 2008 7:30 PM | Link to this
The economy is so bad, I go to McDonalds and Super Downsize It!