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June 2007
First Look: Attack of the ‘Transformers’
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
In a movie season brimming with sequels, the one surefire new experience of the summer is director Michael Bay’s “Transformers,” a conk-up-side-of-the-head action film with battling alien robots, exploding missiles and a particular penchant for peril.
The film is long, clocking in at 2 hours, 24 minutes, but is so packed with CGI action, jokes and homages to the original TV ‘toon series that fanboys likely won’t mind at all.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution saw “Transformers” at a critics screening Thursday night. The film officially debuts Tuesday though there will be early screenings for the public on Monday night.
The plot involves gigantic good and bad alien robots who, when they’re not fighting each other over the future of Earth, morph into sleek American automobiles and such (you can smell the General Motors tie-in already). Shia LaBeouf plays a high school student who gets sucked into the fray.
Here’s some of what moviegoers can expect:
The special effects: The robots’ transformations from cars, trucks and jets to Godzilla-sized fighting behemoths are complicated and involving and probably more real looking than any previous Bay film (“Armageddon,” “Pearl Harbor,” the “Bad Boys” movies). Look especially for the giant robotic scorpion attack (it starts about 40 minutes into the film) that grabs attention and never lets go.
‘Bot vs. ‘bot: More intricate than robots fighting soliders is the heroic Autobots taking on the evil Decepticons, especially in huge physical exchanges that make a wreck of downtown Los Angeles.
Shia LaBeouf: Hollywood’s newest everykid, the young actor (he just turned 21) seems to have the ability to sell anything, from kiddie TV (“Even Stevens”) and horror (“Disturbia”) to animation voiceovers (“Surf’s Up”) and now this.
The noise: If there are any script deficiencies, they seem masked by not only constant camera movement but continuous, ear-shattering blasts, creaks, shouts and certainly the aural scrapes of metal against metal.
Permalink | Comments (14) | Categories: Talk about movies
Forget Rosebud, let’s pay homage to Don Corleone
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Dear Mr. Smithee,
Yet again, some group of movie know-it-alls (the American Film Institute) has picked “Citizen Kane” as the No. 1 greatest movie of all time. We have seen this movie - and it sucks.
No way it belongs anywhere in the Top 100, much less the No. 1 spot. However, since it’s always No. 1 on the “experts’” list, we would like to pretend that we love it, too, so as to impress others with our rare movie knowledge.
Please give us some good pretend reasons for respecting and appreciating this movie, and include a lot of Hollywood buzz words like “innovative use of camera angles” and “years ahead of its time” and stuff like that.
DAVID and LYNN SATTERFIELD, Canton
Dear Are You Sure You Need Me?
It seems you both have it all figured out. If necessary, you may want to retract any lifelong membership applications you might have previously submitted to the Cinema Snob Club.
From this day forward you may no longer employ in your speech the words Orsonwellian, cinematography, film master, fine, nest egg or, for that matter, nest or egg.
You are not allowed to go see the new film “You Kill Me,” which has already been extolled by NPR and is expected in metro Atlanta on July 13.
You may no longer rent, for any reason, the films of the French New Wave, including but not limited to “Jules et Jim,” “Le Beau Serge” and most certainly “A Bout de Souffle.” Note: The latter is more readily recognized by commoners by its English translation — “Breathless.”
In other words, “Citizen Kane” is a remarkable achievement in film. And not just because of the innovative camera angles, but because the camera work is so intricately woven into the fabric of the screenplay.
But I will also admit, David et Lynn, that I decided at the time I heard that the AFI was going to redo its Top 100 list - and certainly before I received your troubled missive - that it is time “Citizen Kane” begin to descend from its lofty Mount Olympus perch.
The No. 1 American movie of all time is “The Godfather.” And it shares that distinction with “The Godfather: Part II.” Which means “Citizen Kane” can be no higher than No. 3. And that’s iffy anyway, because I prefer “Intolerance” or “Lawrence of Arabia” or “Casablanca” or “Chinatown.”
But “Kane” definitely belongs on the list … whether you two like it or not.
ALAN
P.S. You get a “Transformers” toy (because I certainly wouldn’t want to bestow on you anything arty) and a pair of “Ask Alan Smithee” T-shirts.
Dear Mr. Smithee,
A jury of 1,500 film artists and critics (were you one of the chosen?) made the selection of the American Film Institute’s Top 100 movies.
In your opinion, 1) which movie(s) should not be included, and 2) which should have been included?
CARMELITA TUCKER, Southport, N.C.
Dear Nice of You to Ask,
The one thing I am most sure of is that I was not one of the chosen. I must assume it is because my inclusion would certainly have rendered 1,499 other opinions irrelevant.
What need would anyone have for an AFI list in the face of a definitive Smithee list?
Clearly, “Singin’ in the Rain,” now at No. 5, was ranked too high.
But the movies that simply did not belong included “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington” (at No. 26, a high favorite of many, I presume, but of none named Alan and Smithee). I also would excise “Shane” (No. 45), “Rocky” (No. 57), “The African Queen” (No. 65), “Forrest Gump” (No. 76), “Spartacus” (No. 81), “Titanic” (No. 83) and “Easy Rider” (No. 84).
I would add “Fargo,” “The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King,” “Field of Dreams,” “Days of Heaven,” “The Thin Red Line,” “The Empire Strikes Back,” “Woodstock” and “Alien.”
By the way, I was quite happy to see - beyond the usual suspects of “Raging Bull,” “The Wizard of Oz,” etc. - that the AFI included these: “Intolerance,” “Nashville,” “Network,” “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” “The Shawshank Redemption,” “The Wild Bunch,” “The Sixth Sense,” “The Last Picture Show,” “Do the Right Thing” and “Blade Runner.”
ALAN
P.S. You get a “Ratatouille” T-shirt and an “Ask Alan Smithee” T-shirt.
HAVE A QUESTION FOR MR. SMITHEE?
E-mail him at alansmithee@ajc.com or go to accessAtlanta.com and click on Movies. Please include your name, city and daytime phone number. Mr. Smithee can’t reply to every request, but inquiries chosen for publication will receive movie-related prizes.
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Delta was ready even in the era of Pitt’s ‘Troy’
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Dear Mr. Smithee,
You recently mentioned the intrusive microphone in “The History Boys.” Around 1950, I was a projectionist for “Shane.” During the fourth screening, as Alan Ladd rode manfully through the Big Sky Country, I spotted a faraway 18-wheeler crossing in front of a mesa.
Can you provide examples of more classic gaffes?
PETER THOMPSON, Athens
Dear Come Back, Peter!
You say it’s a truck. Some say it was a bus. Whatever it was, it apparently has been digitally excised from at least some DVD versions.
Watchful eyes on Imdb.com claim the vehicle was still visible in the trailer for the film’s rerelease years ago.
And, Peter, you left out the most important fact: Modern mode of transport or not, the popular Western “Shane” captured the best color cinematography Oscar.
It’s actually kind of startling how many mistakes show up in movies.
Bsnews.org suggests some of the best movie blunders include:
An Adidas tag flapping beneath Capt. Jack Sparrow’s headband.
An airplane flying above “Troy” boy Brad Pitt.
A gas canister in an overturned chariot in “Gladiator.”
I’ve long been a fan of Moviemistakes.com, which chronicles lots of gaffes.
It notes a scene with Sam, Frodo, a scarecrow and a passing car in “The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring.”
Apparently there’s also an extra who exposes himself in “Teen Wolf.”
And even though “Titanic” takes place in the middle of the Atlantic, several viewers have noted the equivalent of “Land, ho!” in the film’s background.
ALAN
P.S. You get a “Live Free or Die Hard” cap and an “Ask Alan Smithee” T-shirt.
Dear Mr. Smithee,
Do you think the “powers that be” would consider including a G- or PG-rated version as a bonus when releasing a movie on DVD?
It seems that a profanity-free option would be as easy to add as a foreign language option. Editing out sex, violence and gore might be more difficult (and may turn many a movie into a “short”), but I’d guess that the expense to do this is minimal and would be outweighed by increased sales and profits.
I’m also guessing that parents with young kids (such as myself) are as sick as I am of computer-animated animals lecturing about urban sprawl and global warming, blah, blah, blah and would love some variety in DVD choices.
Not to mention that I personally can’t stomach a lot of what today’s movies dish out.
JUDY N. OTT, Marietta
Dear Blah Blah Blah,
You’re serious, aren’t you?
I thought so.
Personally, I’ve always wondered why moviemakers didn’t just add a sex, violence, gore and profanity version to G-rated movies on DVDs so I’d be more inclined to want to watch them.
You know, there are plenty of PG-13 movies out there, and if you can’t watch those, I suppose you should turn more often to TV movies.
Ultimately, though, you should refrain from wanting to alter the filmmaker’s original intention and look a bit harder through the realm of PG movies that already exist.
Here are some really tremendous ones: “Rudy,” “Groundhog Day,” “Fly Away Home,” “Babe,” “Sense and Sensibility,” “Apollo 13,” “Pride” (it arrives on DVD July 26), “A River Runs Through It,” “Akeelah and the Bee,” “Dead Poets Society,” “Finding Neverland,” “Good Night, and Good Luck,” “Elf” and “Millions.”
ALAN
P.S. You get a “Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer” (rated PG) T-shirt and an “Ask Alan Smithee” T-shirt.
Dear Mr. Smithee,
Please release me from the song that won’t leave my tortured mind. A recent display in the school I work in lit up the part of my brain that had stored an image of Burl Ives singing “The Ugly Bug Ball.”
JOHN L. POULIN, Holly Ridge, N.C.
Dear Devil Come Out!
- “Summer Magic.”
And you’re welcome.
ALAN
P.S. You get an “Ocean’s Thirteen” T-shirt and an “Ask Alan Smithee” T-shirt.
HAVE A QUESTION FOR MR. SMITHEE?
E-mail him at alansmithee@ajc.com or go to accessAtlanta.com and click on Movies. Please include your name, city and daytime phone number. Mr. Smithee can’t reply to every request, but inquiries chosen for publication will receive movie-related prizes.
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Pregnancy is funny thing, if it’s not your fault
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Everybody told me “Knocked Up” was hilarious. And, yeah, it’s hilarious — as hilarious as a HORROR MOVIE can be!
See, I was just looking for a little light entertainment to get the taste of the lousy “Mr. Brooks” out of my mouth. (Shout-out to Demi Moore: Your career ended in the 20th century, get used to it. And Kevin Costner, I’m cc’ing you on this, because it goes for your career, too.)
Oh, and Dane Cook? Stick to doing your unfunny stand-up stuff.
Anyway, I went to “Knocked Up” thinking there was gonna be a lot of those “you-know-how-I-know-you’re-gay” lines, like in “The 40-Year-Old Virgin,” which was made by the same people. And, yeah, there’s plenty of funny stuff here. Especially from the main guy, Ben (Seth Rogen), and all of his stoner roommates, who spend their time watching the Denise Richards-Neve Campbell pool scene from “Wild Things” through a haze of reefer smoke.
So, yeah, I laughed a lot. But I guess I should’ve known what I was in for with a title like “Knocked Up.”
And what I was in for was a case of cold sweat and a flashback to the days when I was young and stupid. Young and stupid enough to drunkenly take home one LaDonna Potter when it was really her baby sister LaTrina I had my eye on. LaTrina was just 16, though. And by the time she turned legal, I was stupid enough to be married and a father.
What happened to me is sorta like what happens in “Knocked Up.” See, chubby, jobless stoner Ben goes out one night, gets hammered, and lucks out with this gorgeous blonde named Alison (Katherine Heigl), who’s celebrating a promotion.
Now, if you think of a much handsomer Ben, and an Alison with bottle-blond hair and 3-inch black roots, a dragon tattoo just above her plumber’s crack, and purple press-on fingernails with zircon inserts, you’ve got a pretty good picture of me and LaDonna.
So I was drunk, and so is Ben in the movie — but he’s sober enough to realize Alison is a knockout. When they start taking their clothes off, he goes, “You’re prettier than I am.” Me, all I really remember about that night with LaDonna was waking up around 3 with my head halfway down the toilet.
In the movie, Ben gets a call a few weeks later, and Alison tells him she’s pregnant. Her mom and Ben’s friends all say she should get an abortion, but she decides to keep the baby. And Ben tells her he’s cool with that, and he wants to do anything she wants him to do to support her.
And I’m in the audience going, “ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR EVER-LOVING MINDS?!?!”
Now I gotta admit, I never had to wrestle with the decision whether to keep a child or not — because LaDonna was so fat, by the time she realized she was pregnant, she was already four or five months on.
I hardly remembered who she was when she called me with the news. And though I would have been totally justified in making her take a DNA test to prove the child was mine and not, say, her father’s (kidding!), I did not. Believe me, my son Cal is the light of my life — except for the times when he is being a little thieving, lying sack of [manure]. But I blame his mother for those mood swings.
Anyway, once I got over all those bad memories of LaDonna and the first year after Cal was born, when he only slept in the day and screamed all night, I totally dug “Knocked Up.” It’s funny, it’s smart, Ben and Alison call each other on their [excrement], and they have awkward sex and scream at each other like real people do. And the movie’s kind of filthy, too.
In other words, it’s a lot like real life, only entertaining. But whenever it hits a little too close to home, all you have to do is breathe deep, look at sloppy Seth Rogen, then look at golden goddess Katherine Heigl, and remind yourself: It’s only a movie — am I right?
AFI’s Top 100 Films: What do you think?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The American Film Institute will reveal its selections for the Top 100 films made in the past 100 years. The list of 400 nominees is voluminous. What do you think of the list? Is it comprehensive, or are there glaring omissions?
Some movies vanish quickly for good reason
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Dear Mr. Smithee,
What has happened to the movie “The Hoax”? It got advertisement a couple of months ago, then nothing.
Was it withdrawn from circulation in order for it to be an Oscar contender later in the year?
PEGGY SWENSON, Hiawassee
Dear Let’s Be Honest Here,
I was quite moved to excitement upon receiving your letter because at first I thought you were asking about “The Host,” the freewheeling, funny and engrossing Asian monster satire. I thoroughly enjoy writing about movies I like.
But then it occurred to me that you were asking about something else.
How can a guy like me, with such massive powers of recollection, forget a movie title like “The Hoax” or get it confused with another film?
Easy answer. If I don’t exactly care for a movie, it evaporates from my busy brain. It is mentally placed in the junk drawer, the appropriate haven for cinematic bores. In other words, “The Hoax” bored the living daylights out of me. I was not impressed that Clifford Irving thought himself so important to have influenced powerful people. I was not impressed that he duped a publishing company into believing he was acting on behalf of Howard Hughes.
I thought Richard Gere’s performance one of his most meaningless.
Apparently, I am not alone.
The film opened in major markets on April 6. It evaporated into Hollywood’s junk drawer by May 31.
During those precious 56 days, it earned just over $7 million - or less than a third of the cost to make it. None of this takes into consideration the millions of dollars spent for - as you say - “advertisement.”
The film was a bust.
If it does re-emerge later this year as some sort of Miramax scam for Oscar consideration (you know, one of those studio-type “We believe so much in ‘Cinderella Man’ that we simply must bring it back!” campaigns), then they’re just asking to add to their losses.
ALAN
P.S. You get “Nancy Drew” books and shirt and an “Ask Alan Smithee” T-shirt.
Dear Mr. Smithee,
I’m a huge movie trivia geek, but I have a question for you.
I was recently checking out trivia for some Disney movies and came across the phrase “Wilhelm scream.”
I know that this is the scream heard in Disney cartoons, but I was wondering where the phrase came from.
JAMESON KORYTOSKI, Carrollton
Dear We All Scream for Wilhelm,
Hollywood’s infamous Wilhelm scream isn’t confined to Disney outings like “Beauty and the Beast” and “Aladdin.”
It and its scream variations have been used over the years in the “Star Wars” movies, “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” “Poltergeist,” “Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl,” Peter Jackson’s “The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers,” “The Green Berets,” “Reservoir Dogs” and “Batman Returns” … for starters.
The scream originated in 1951’s “Distant Drums,” which starred Gary Cooper.
Set in the 1800s in Florida, there’s a scene where soldiers wade through the Everglades and, well, one is attacked by an alligator.
According to Hollywoodlostandfound.net, six short screams were recorded for the effect. One is considered the “classic scream.” Two years later, that classic scream was used again in “The Charge at Feather River” when the character Pvt. Wilhelm is shot in the leg with an arrow.
Industry types began referring to the effect as the “Wilhelm scream.”
The various versions of the scream have been put to good use in a number of movies.
It’s not known who emitted the screams for the original recordings, but some think it is the work of the late Sheb Wooley.
He had an uncredited role in “Distant Drums” and was known to have prided himself on his ability to record screams and dying sounds for films.
You can read more about the Wilhelm scream and hear three versions of it at www.hollywoodlostandfound.net/wilhelm/index.html.
ALAN
P.S. You get “Pirates of the Caribbean” figurines and an “Ask Alan Smithee” T-shirt.
HAVE A QUESTION FOR MR. SMITHEE?
E-mail him at alansmithee@ajc.com or go to accessAtlanta.com and click on Movies. Please include your name, city and daytime phone number. Mr. Smithee can’t reply to every request, but inquiries chosen for publication will receive movie-related prizes.
Permalink | Comments (2) | Categories: Alan Smithee
All the world’s a stage … except when it’s in the cinema
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Dear Mr. Smithee,
Another longtime reader, first-time writer. Your recent list of good Brit films was a good one, except you didn’t include possibly the best: “The History Boys.”
Great acting, great story, great dialogue, an interesting take on history and culture. And it is a sympathetic but not glorifying treatment of homosexuality. Why didn’t you include it?
JOHN HAWKINS, Decatur
Dear The Play’s the Thing,
I did indeed see “The History Boys.”
I did indeed not include it on my list.
I did indeed think it likely a better play than a film (for example, most definitely, “Bug”).
I did indeed lose interest in the otherwise remarkable scene with excellent dialogue provided by Richard Griffiths in which the boom mike unexpectedly descends into view over the actors’ heads.
ALAN
P.S. You get a “Waitress” recipe box and an “Ask Alan Smithee” T-shirt.
Dear Mr. Smithee,
Please tell your many readers, especially those over 60, not to miss seeing “Away From Her.” It is one of the rare adult movies, along with “The Queen,” that is beautifully directed and acted that I have ever seen. The story, the pace, the music. Perfect.
I feel sure “Away From Her” will win many Oscars next year.
SARA MITCHELL PARSONS, Decatur
Dear Public Service Announcement,
I do not think it necessary to be older than 60 to seek out and enjoy “Away From Her,” which looks deeply into one couple dealing with Alzheimer’s.
I agree it is a wonderful movie. And Julie Christie is more than wonderful in it. I feel sure she will be competing for a best actress Oscar next year. The film might also be up for a few other Academy Awards.
To be honest, I don’t think it a better movie than “The Queen.” Maybe that’s just me.
There are several other movies coming that I would recommend to moviegoers as, in your words, a rare adult movie that is beautifully directed and acted.
Look in the coming weeks for “La Vie en Rose” (the biopic on Edith Piaf; June 22), “The Golden Door” (the Italian film exploring a Sicilian family entering America through Ellis Island; July 6), “Steel Toes” (with David Strathairn as a Jewish lawyer defending a neo-Nazi; June 29), and “Talk to Me” (with Don Cheadle as real-life radio personality Petey Greene; July 13 or 20).
ALAN
P.S. You get a blue Sony blanket and an “Ask Alan Smithee” T-shirt.
Dear Mr. Smithee,
How do movies that are universally “trashed” by critics (aka experts) on their release become revered “classics” that become “must sees” for succeeding generations?
Two that come immediately to mind are Bob Clark’s “A Christmas Story,” based on a number of Jean Shepherd stories, and John Sturges’ “The Magnificent Seven,” based on “Seven Samurai.” In both cases, critics hated these movies. Clark for directing the “Porky’s” movies and Sturges for copying Kurosawa. Now both are considered modern classics of their genre. Even Jack Nicholson mentions “The Magnificent Seven” as one of his favorites.
How does this happen?
WAYNE RIDGEWAY, West Palm Beach, Fla.
Dear Let Us Count the Ways,
Maybe because:
Critics are fallible human beings.
Or … the mainstream public lacks artistic taste.
Or … Nicholson could have been drunk.
Or … everyone’s entitled to his or her own opinion.
Or … I wasn’t around at the time to set the record straight.
Know ye that:
“A Christmas Story” is an OK movie that I’ve been able to watch in small doses and is in no way ever to be judged better than “It’s a Wonderful Life.”
“The Magnificent Seven” is an entertaining, often well-done film with a knockout score that in no way is better than “Seven Samurai.” “The Magnificent Seven” isn’t even better than “The Great Escape.”
ALAN
P.S. You get a “Because I Said So” T-shirt and an “Ask Alan Smithee” T-shirt.
HAVE A QUESTION FOR MR. SMITHEE?
E-mail him at alansmithee@ajc.com or go to accessAtlanta.com and click on Movies. Please include your name, city and daytime phone number. Mr. Smithee can’t reply to every request, but inquiries chosen for publication will receive movie-related prizes.
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The good and bad of MTV’s Movie Awards
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Giggly Cameron Diaz wore the shortest skirt (one doubts she could ever sit down backstage) and Paris Hilton, while posing on the pink carpet, had to hike up her falling black dress at Sunday’s 2007 “MTV Movie Awards” (aka Hollywood’s marketing opportunity to repeatedly keep bringing up “Transformers” like acid reflux).
They gave out awards too, including the first to Jack Nicholson (“The Departed”) for Best Villain. He promply spat out an obscenity that had to be bleeped on the live show.
The awards themselves were a mostly meaningless exercise all around, except that British singer Amy Winehouse, who’s hardly had anything to do with movies yet, got to sing a great rendition of her song “Rehab” from her 2006 album.
Here are a few of the most memorable moments from the show:
Good: Host Sarah Silverman. At least from time to time she was. Her best bit had her running around trying to find a substitute presenter as she phoned various celebs in their movies. One favorite: Her telling a crying Brad Pitt in a phone scene from “Babel” that she just couldn’t be with him
Better: Silverman and Jessica Biel also spoofed MTV’s infamous Madonna-Britney Spears lip lock by talking and getting their own lipsthisclose. They were immediately outdone by Best Kiss winners Will Ferrell and Sacha Baron Cohen (“Talladega Nights”) who staged a blistering man kiss that had them hugging and rolling on the stage.
Best: Johnny Depp (“Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest”) surprised the audience by walking out from backstage to accept Best Performance. The screams and applause during his lengthy reception prove he’s surpassing Nicholson as the king of Hollywood. (In case you don’t really know who’s the uberlord of Hollywood, note that after producer Jerry Bruckheimer accepted the Best Movie award for “Pirates” he leaned in toward Depp and told him something in private. Except the microphone picked up every word: “Thank the writers.” Which Depp promptly did.)
Just Plain Awful: Celeb interviewer Suchin Pak pronounced the 30-minute pink carpet pre-show as “commercial free.” Then most of the time was filled plugging “Transformers,” showing six clips from the film plus four of the muscle cars and running nattering interviews with four of the film’s stars.
What did you notice about the awards show? Did you like who won? Does a movie like “Transformers,” which no one has seen, deserve an award like Best Summer Movie You Haven’t Seen Yet?
Permalink | | Categories: Talk about movies
Great Britain has films to savor … but beware the haggis
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Dear Mr. Smithee
Longtime reader; first-time writer. I recently watched “Asylum” on cable. It was, in my estimation, a finely crafted and acted film that I had previously never heard of. Hence my question: Can you provide a short list of other little-publicized British-type movies that I might enjoy in a similar fashion?
CHRIS PURDY, Canton
Ay Up, My Friend,
Longtime writer; longer-time film devotee. As you know, I see hundreds of movies a year. “Asylum” just doesn’t happen to have been one of them.
But I do know a thing or two about British films.
Thing one: British movies are better than British food.
Thing two: British romantic comedies are especially bad. (You know —- Julia Roberts standing there and with a straight face saying gargantuan gunk like, “I’m just a girl standing in front of a guy asking him to love me.”)
I have heard wonderful things about “Red Road,” the drama that’s expected to start playing Landmark’s Midtown Art Cinema on June 8. Written and directed by Andrea Arnold, “Red Road” involves characters conceived by —- and this is important here —- Anders Thomas Jensen.
Jensen may be Danish instead of English, but he’s one of the best screenwriters on the planet (the Danish films “After the Wedding,” “The Green Butchers,” “Wilbur Wants to Kill Himself,” “Open Hearts,” “Flickering Lights” and the Dogma films “The King Is Alive” and “Mifune”).
But we were talking about British films, weren’t we?
Here are a few from the past dozen years or so:
Good Brit films you probably heard about: “Vera Drake,” “Notes on a Scandal,” “Dirty Pretty Things,” “Billy Elliot,” “Topsy-Turvy” and especially “Richard III.”
Good Brit films you might not know: “Hilary and Jackie,” “Naked,” “Secrets and Lies” and “Sexy Beast.”
Good Brit films you probably missed and need to see: “Dead Man’s Shoes,” “My Summer of Love,” “Dear Frankie,” “Millions,” “An Ideal Husband,” “Wondrous Oblivion,” “Ratcatcher” and “Touching the Void.”
If you’re like me, all that should keep you occupied for at least a day or two.
ALAN
P.S. You get “Topsy-Turvy” opera glasses and an “Ask Alan Smithee” T-shirt.
Dear Mr. Smithee,
In response to your recent reader question about how Lana Turner looked in person, my grandfather has some interesting insight.
Here’s his tale: “During World War II, I was in the service and went in the Biltmore Hotel in L.A. I walked in to find this gorgeous woman sitting at a bar with two high-ranking naval officers.
“Being only 19 at the time and not an autograph hound, all I could do is stand and stare at this immensely beautiful woman. She was not only stunning, but breathtaking.
“Sixty-four years later, I am still gawking at her beauty.”
ZACH CARVER (grandson)
BILL MCGREE (grandfather)
Dayton, Ohio
Dear It Always Takes a Village,
Let’s take a moment to relish Bill’s words. “Not only stunning,” he says, “but breathtaking.”
Sounds like Lana’s only real competitor these days would be Halle Berry.
ALAN
P.S. You get “Pirates of the Caribbean” collectible art for you and a “Flags of Our Fathers” DVD for gramps. And you both get “Ask Alan Smithee” T-shirts.
Dear Mr. Smithee,
Last Friday’s AJC listed in the Freeze Frame column the Sir Alec Guinness movie “Little Dorrit.” My wife and I are Charles Dickens fans and would like to see the 1988 version. The reviews on it are very positive.
Where, oh where, can it be found on DVD? I searched but found nothing.
Is “Little Dorrit” available on DVD or is the paper jerking us around about a movie that can’t be watched?
CASEY MUSSELMAN, Kennesaw
Dear Tiny Tim,
You can find “Little Dorrit” only on VHS. Try Amazon.com.
ALAN
P.S. You get a “Shrek” Pez dispenser and an “Ask Alan Smithee” T-shirt.
HAVE A QUESTION FOR MR. SMITHEE?
**E-mail him at alansmithee@ajc.com or go to accessAtlanta.com and click on Movies. Please include your name, city and daytime phone number. Mr. Smithee can’t reply to every request, but inquiries chosen for publication will receive movie-related prizes.
Permalink | | Categories: Alan Smithee
