Manbattical - I need a break!
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
OK, I’ve said it before, probably on this very blog, but this time I mean it. No really, I do! I’m going on manbattical, a self-imposed break from dating that lasts from now until, well, haven’t figured that out yet.
Why the hiatus from hunnies? To clear my mind, I suppose. While I haven’t had a boyfriend in nearly two years, I’ve been dating like it’s my job. In fact, I haven’t gone more than a few weeks without a date since more than a year ago.
Some would say I’m fortunate to meet so many people, and while it was fun for a time, I’m beginning to think I’m losing sight of what I really want. Maybe I should be more selective, which could have helped me avoid wasting time with guys like the loser-artist-jerk from awhile back or the psycho online crybaby.
I want to focus on myself for a few months, getting back to Blanca basics. And I think I’ll wait around for the guy who meets my criteria, instead of hanging out with less-than-stellar others in the interim.
So my dear virtual friends, are manbatticals (womanbatticals, for some of you) a good thing? How many of you have taken a break from dating — and I don’t mean you sat at home because no one was asking you out — and what did you learn from it?
Oh, and happy Friday!
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Dating your friend’s ex?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Chatting with two of my girlfriends, I realized that they have something in common — both of them say their worst heartbreak came from dating a friend’s ex.
Their stories are similar. First, they’ll tell you that it was a mistake they made in their early 20s, something they’d never do again. Both of them dated these guys for a couple years. Each girl lost her former friend because of the relationship, and both of my buddies still seem to beat themselves up over this faux pas.
Girls can be rough on eachother, but we are also pretty dang hard on ourselves. Do guys carry the same type of guilt over this type of situation? And fellas, do you have the same territorial sense over your old flames, and have you ended friendships with guys who have dated an ex?
Would love to hear your experiences. And by the way, does dating a friend’s ex become less of an issue as we get older? Once a friend brands a lover, is said lover his or hers for life?
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When a man loves a woman, can he get enough?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
As you all know, I’m happy to help out a reader in need of dating advice. This one comes from a lurker (let’s call her Sharon) who has been seeing the same fellow monogamously for two years.
They’ve dropped the L-bomb and rarely argue, but they don’t spend as much time together as she would like. They see eachother Friday and Saturday nights, as well as Sunday afternoon, but at his wishes not during the week. And when her boyfriend took a week of vacation (a stay-cation, as he didn’t leave the area), he didn’t invite her over. Further, her boyfriend doesn’t call everyday, though she’d like him to.
Sharon said she’s talked to her boyfriend about the casual communication, but he says he doesn’t have time to call or hang out, or he figured she was simply busy. (Other piece of information: he’s been single for 12 years.)
Sharon doesn’t doubt that he loves her - he tells her so all the time - but wonders if it’s normal for him to only want to see her every so often. She wants to feel more wanted, but is she overanalyzing? To you fellas: when you love a woman, do you want to see her all the time? Or are weekends (prime time in Blanca’s book) good enough?
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The sweets too soon?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I admit it, maybe I’m fickle. I want an affectionate man, but I worry when said sweets come too soon.
Case in point, meet “Peter,” the guy I’ve been seeing as of late. We had a pretty decent first date about a month ago (overall pleasant, though no sparks), but he did something that really threw me off: he held my hand. Whoa, I thought to myself. Kind of soon for that level of affection, no? I’ve sooner made out with a guy than hold his hand, which seems terribly tender and romantic and the stuff of coupledom, which we certainly weren’t after just one date.
By the next meeting, he had taken to calling me honey. And sweetie. And baby. This was peppered with kissing my forehead and face, intermixed with “you’re so wonderful” and “I just adore you.”
Since then, we’ve been on five or six dates. I enjoy spending time with him, but I can’t say I look at him and see my unborn children. And while I thought I wanted a man who adores me as much as I hope to fancy him, I have to admit that all this affection has me a bit weirded out. Is he forcing it? How can he know me well enough to feel that way? To me, it’s like he’s assumed a level of intimacy that I don’t think we’ve earned as a couple, and it makes me wonder if it’s really about me or simply his desire to be in a relationship.
So my MIA friends, am I being fickle or is gut instinct the way to go? Have you had relationships where affection and “adoration” are instant, and instantly make you wonder why?
Permalink | Comments (322) | Post your comment | Categories: Dating
Wearing Stilettos in my Kitchen
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I am officially filing my closing blog report on the last guy - what’s his face. He had potential to be my Summer Fling, but alas, he ticked me off before I could throw a hotdog on the grill!
It seems that the major point of contention (read: his only beef with me), was the fact that he thought I could be the woman he wanted me to be instead of the woman that I actually am.
So this brings me to my blog confession: I am not domestic. I don’t own fancy china or chaffing dishes. When I throw parties, I have catered food brought in or I find a super easy recipe. I live in a condo but I still want a maid. I’m no Donna Reed. I don’t own a vacuum cleaner (mostly hardwood floors) and I am not into pearl necklaces.
I am far from being barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. I am wearing hot shoes in the kitchen when I come home for work. As I reach in my fridge to make a quick dinner of salad and popcorn, I feel deliciously blissful.
That sound you hear right now is my dating stock falling. At least according to many males who are mid-30s and up.My question is this: do I need to get domesticated to get a guy my age? It seems that the younger guys are not as set on the traditional roles for women, as much as their older counterparts.
Guys, how important is it to you to have a woman who is domesticated, and happy to be in that Donna Reed role? If you are comfortable with domestic duties, would you be willing to share/take on the task of cooking, cleaning, etc?
Have you ever had someone you were dating shower you with domestic attention (washing clothes, assisting with household tasks, etc.) ? Did that make you feel more loved/appreciated then, say.. when a woman would make dinner reservations? Or schedule a visit to your bachelor pad by the Maid Brigade?
Ladies, do you find that your degree (s), accomplishments, and/or careers convince potential partners that you would not be ideal for marriage? What do you do to offset the stereotypes of “modern women” that a lot of men dislike so much? Do you find yourself playing up your domestic side so that the guy can observe and take notice? Have you ever been dumped because you lacked the Donna Reed gene?
Today is Lurker Day! All of our silent readers can join in and say hello. We promise we won’t bite!
Regular Blog Cast: Let’s keep it light! I heart you all for joining in every week!
Permalink | Comments (287) | Post your comment | Categories: Marriage
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“let’s not go that deep! We overthink way too much on this blog as is!” I wasn’t tryng to go that deep! Cause like everything else, it would just float over your head! Indicated by your very response.... read the full comment by 2CPTG | Comment on Manbattical - I need a break! Read Manbattical - I need a break!
@Real Lurker FYI arse…my former other already some nudes that we did three years ago…and he just wants to update the archives…for the boots why not…number one he has pix already…number 2 after 4 years... read the full comment by m'karyl | Comment on Manbattical - I need a break! Read Manbattical - I need a break!
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