By 2 Can Play That Game©

May 4, 2006 08:27 AM | Link to this

mornin……at this stage in my life, a “young” lady just won’t cut it for me…..I need a gal that can keep up…..moreso on the mental level…..

By Jazzyone

May 4, 2006 08:42 AM | Link to this

Good morning..I’ll chime in this morning. When I was younger in my 20s I dated men older than I was my limit was 40. Now that I am older I don’t date them over 45 or under 34. That age range works best for me. I prefer it this way because I find that in those age ranges I mentioned a man tends to be more settled and stable, professionally, financially and knows where hes going in life and how to get there. Put it like this when I was younger the only thing a young guy could do was intorduce me to his daddy. Now that Ive gotten older the only thing an older man can do for me is introduce me to his son…tee hee.

By Michael

May 4, 2006 08:55 AM | Link to this

Morning bloggers. I was just thinking about this earlier. I believe the official term for older women who are attracted to younger guys are called “Cougars”. I personally tend to date my age or slightly above. I have noticed that as do men, when women get older, and the baggage definitely increases. I’ve met older women who are literally disasters. They don’t know if they are coming or going. I like older women who are only a couple of years ahead. Not really interested in younger girls though. I am most comfortable with this.

By Michael

May 4, 2006 08:56 AM | Link to this

Morning bloggers. I was just thinking about this earlier. I believe the official term for older women who are attracted to younger guys are called “Cougars”. I personally tend to date my age or slightly above. I have noticed that as do men, when women get older, and the baggage definitely increases. I’ve met older women who are literally disasters. They don’t know if they are coming or going. I like older women who are only a couple of years ahead. Not really interested in younger girls though. I am most comfortable with this.

By distantALsavga

May 4, 2006 08:57 AM | Link to this

morning all, been lurking.

By CutieB™

May 4, 2006 08:59 AM | Link to this

2can, not all young women (age wise) are young mentally. I’m young, I find my self dating older men b/c I am so much more mature than my age. I know that and god knows I hear it ALL the time. People, men or women are always shocked to find out how old I am b/c of the way I carry myself. I almost NEVER get apporached or hit on by guys my age, it’s always the older gentlemen that approach me. When I tell them how old I am, they smile and look around (like they tryna make sure ain’t no cops around!! j/k)and say are you serious, you seem so much older…

By Thirdwheelflunkie

May 4, 2006 09:01 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Yall!! I am 26 years old and there is no way I am dating someone old enough to be my daddy or my grandfather. I generally like to date people between 25 and 32. I guess that’s why I’m single because I don’t like to date old men…. What happens when they hit 70 and your in your 30’s??? I am not changing anyone’s dependo’s or bathing them!

By Thirdwheelflunkie

May 4, 2006 09:04 AM | Link to this

What’s up CutieB!!!!

By cadillac

May 4, 2006 09:16 AM | Link to this

Monin, I’ve been told time and time that i have an old soul. i grew up around older people and love the wisdom they’ve shared. so my level of maturity is a big leap from the guys in their mid 20-late 20’s.

i am more attracted to older guys. i feel that the level of respect is far more grand than those of my peers. true some of the older ones are still playing teenage games, but the bulk of them more settle and are more than willing display their maturity to a young lady like myself.

By CutieB™

May 4, 2006 09:18 AM | Link to this

Yo, did anyone see how the Cleveland Cavaliers kilt that shyt last night. I was damn near on the edge of my seat.

By theblingqueen

May 4, 2006 09:24 AM | Link to this

I’m 33 years old and my boyfriend is 48 yrs old and I am having the time of my life!!We’ve been together for over a year and a half and I’m loving every bit of it. He knows how to treat me and I don’t have to tell him what I like, he knows… (everything)!!!

By Rocker

May 4, 2006 09:24 AM | Link to this

I’m in my mid 50s and only date 18-25 year old gals. I’d prefer someone closer to my age, but these young ones keep hittin’ on me and I’ve got a weakness. Some say I’m a Bill Clinton lookalike, but I don’t have that much hair.

By BrownEyes

May 4, 2006 09:24 AM | Link to this

Well, now you have hit a topic that I know plenty about. I typically attract men that are 10 to 15 years younger than me. I look a bit younger than I am (37) and still get carded sometimes at bars….trust me I am not complaining….smile

I have found that the older guys that I have dated have ex-wife and baby drama that is a huge turn off for me. The younger men that I have dated don’t really have that drama and are a great deal of fun. I am not looking to get married any time soon so dating men much younger than me allows me to play and have a good time without worrying about someone trying to make me their wife!

I would consider dating a man anywhere from 25 to 45 and I have. Since I am not in the market for a husband I can be this flexible. If I wanted marriage, perhaps my gap would be much smaller, like maybe 35-45, who knows. But for right now I am just having fun getting to know men of all ages.

By kevmoor

May 4, 2006 09:24 AM | Link to this

Good Morning everyone.

I’m 37 and before I met my wife, i only dated younger women. Most of the women I met in and around my age just had too much baggage and everything bothered them or they didn’t want to have any more kids, or they had baby daddy issues. It was very refreshing to dating younger women.

By Mel S.

May 4, 2006 09:26 AM | Link to this

Im definately the older man kinda woman. They usually are more settled than guys my age. When I was 18 I was dating guys in their mid 20’s. A few friends I know are 26 and 27 dating 18-21 year olds and it kind of creeps me out. It’s funny how your perspective chages as you age. Im 27 and for me, I draw the line at about 37 or 38. My rules usually are that you have to be on your own, maybe a kid or two, since Im a single parent as well, and be semi settled in life. I’m tired of freeloaders still living with momma at 35. I know there are circumstances sometimes, but I need a man that can take care of himself and has responsibility.

I tried dating younger, but even 2 or 3 years makes a difference in the 20’s range. I actually let a 21 year old talk me into going out. I’ve been married before, so Im not looking for that again anytime soon. I told him my rules and I only wanted to date casually and become friends. If it went somewhere (Id be shocked) then we would handle it then. And of course, my fear was true, he got attached right away and was looking for a cake topper. I still can’t shake him after months of avoiding him.

I guess it all depends on where you are maturity wise. If the guy Im dating has kids that are within a few years of my age, I start to get a little creeped out. If he’s old enough to have biologically conceieved me…yeah, not so sure about that either. If he will be retired when Im into the good part of my career….I dunno if I could handle that either. But, that is just me. I dont quite understand the 22 year age gaps. Think about the scenario…the guy is 18 and scoping out baby stollers for his future girlfriend or wife. I know that’s a lil bizarre to say, but….that is just me. For some people it works, but I dont understand older men scoping women 15-20 years younger and visa versa, but that is just my personal ignorance I guess. To me it feels like more of a father figure rather than an equal parnter. But…that’s just my opinion.

By divine1

May 4, 2006 09:27 AM | Link to this

2 years my junior has been my limit. I can’t do the 5-10 year age gap. Now, I will date a man several years older than me - but he has to have the maturity to match.

As each year passes I realize my wants are now equivalent to my needs - in other words my expectations of a mate have matured into the realistic rather than unattainable.

By abc

May 4, 2006 09:33 AM | Link to this

The older you get the less impact age difference has. For instance, the difference between 15 and 20 is huge; between 20 and 25, less; between 25 and 30, even less, between 50 and 55, not much difference at all. I’m eight years older than my girl, but it doesn’t make much of a difference.

I’d not date anyone a whole lot younger than me, though. Even the age difference between my girl and I sometimes makes for disconnects between us. ‘Hey 19, we have nothing in common, we can’t talk at all…’

By JR

May 4, 2006 09:35 AM | Link to this

If you’re physically, emotionally and mentally compatible age IS nothing but a number. I’m 46, my fiancee is 26 and we’ve been together for 2 1/2 years. Sure, there are some generation gaps from time to time, but the longer we’re together the less those things matter.

By THE INFAMOUS DK

May 4, 2006 09:36 AM | Link to this

Good Morning,

Depends on where her head is.. If we can vibe and get along we will be ok.. I have met older chicks that act like youngins and younger babes that act like spinsters.. I really enjoy a happy medium.

Some seem to think by dating young they can train one in the way to go but I like mine to already come with their own mind and opinion..

By Honeycomb

May 4, 2006 09:37 AM | Link to this

Good Morning I really don’t care young or old as long as they treat me good and respect me and we have a great time without drama.

By C tha 1

May 4, 2006 09:37 AM | Link to this

This is a good topic today because I go through the age issue alot now that I’ll be 30 in about three months. Honestly, I used to make a big deal about it because of where I envisioned myself by this age. I probably over shot things a little bit, but I’m sitll doing good with a bright future ahead of me. But I digress.

Normally, I would perfer to date women my age…we simply have more in common due to life experiences. Yet sisters my age (like all women in general)tend to analyze every aspect of my life and conclude I have not acquired certain things that equals stability. On the other hand, younger women tend to view my situation as me being on the verge of realizing big things. The flip side to a younger woman is just that … she is young. This current cutie I am dating is 7 years younger than me, and she likes me because “I’m on her level” mentally. Cool. But sometimes I think to myself is she on “my level” mentally because of some of the things she does. Sometimes women tend to think they are more mature than what they really are. I don’t hold it against her though it is what it is. Plus I like her. Some of it is charming. My homeboy told me ole girl is the perfect age to mold and hip her to things she needs to know. Therefore making her on my level.

By VANikia

May 4, 2006 09:37 AM | Link to this

I saw how they kilt my girl on LOST…. that sucks although I knew it was coming.

Oh yeah… Good Morning All!!!

I date older men. That blind date that I mentioned yesterday was a younger guy and I admit I was against that from the beginning, but I went along with it because my friend insisted. Overall he just sucked and I am not blaming his age either. I usually date men from a year to ten years older and that works for me. I, like Caddy, have been told I have an old soul and seem very mature for my age, although I am starting to wonder what they mean by that. I am almost 30 is there something that I should be doing that most women my age do or are people just trying to tell me I act old…. wk? I am not going to say that I choose the older men because they are more stable because I have dated some unstable old men. I almost gave in and dated a younger guy last year and he definately had his stuff together, but he got sent to Iraq so that was the end of that. I never really thought about all the reasons I date older men but one of the big things that impress me about them are that they are beyond caring what other people think about them and they don’t live their life to impress anyone but themselves…

By anonymousella

May 4, 2006 09:39 AM | Link to this

older guys. always. a 2-4 year gap is perfect. the largest gap i ever had was 8 years. but i swear that dude was lying. he had grandpa skin. (i was 26 or 27 and he said he was 35).

actually, when i was 24 or 25, almost all of my friends were in their mid-30s, so i just kind of dated men that age.

sweetie and i are just over 3 years apart. and it works. i couldn’t date a dude in his 40s though. that’s just too dang settled for my tastes.

By THE INFAMOUS DK

May 4, 2006 09:41 AM | Link to this

But I’m not going to lie I probably will be one of those 50 year old cats with a 35 year old girlfriend..

By Keyshia Johnson

May 4, 2006 09:42 AM | Link to this

I will love to date oder guys,because they are will established.I will not like to marry a guy about my father age.Sometimes times it is wrong to date a older guy,cuz they have already live their lives and they will like to settle down or get marry.I am only 20 I am not ready for marriage no at all. From:Keyshia Johnson princessnellykelly@yahoo.com

By MusingLee

May 4, 2006 09:43 AM | Link to this

Morn’in All..And Hello to all the Newbies.

My personal rule right is, I don’t date women more than 5 years older or younger than I am. I believe after that range we start gaining a gap in generational knowledge. If I ask her about the smurfs and she says either “What is that” or “I was too old to watch that” then I have no need for her. LOL

By C tha 1

May 4, 2006 09:46 AM | Link to this

Don’t get me wrong I know there are young women who are mature beyond there years…this is true for men too like myself. This is due to me being raised by older parents (dad is now 74, ma is 60). I’ve always had to deal with situations that affected grown, grown folks. The bad side to that is there will eventually be a issue related to health even if it is just one partner that is sick…People (black men especially) go to the doctor regularly. I speak of what I know, not what I heard.

By Blue_Kolla

May 4, 2006 09:48 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Bloggers. I’ve always been around older people and so have always been attracted to older women. The problem that I’m having now is that these women are too quick to push that ‘put him on lock’ button. Maybe I need to target the younger broads…

By Rayne

May 4, 2006 09:48 AM | Link to this

Morning!!! ok, I won’t be here long, I have a closing I have to be at in 16 minutes…HOWEVER, I have to comment.

I’ve dated 12 years older (he was a perv) and 4 years younger (he was FUN). It doesn’t matter as long as you are enjoying each other. Cadillac stated the same as I’ve been told “old soul”. I would rather sit and listen to older people that hang with young ones. I’ve been that way all of my life. But I don’t know that I would date anyone more than 4 years older now…if I were in the dating world.

I just refuse to date a man that has been married or has kids. I finally found one like that, who is also just like me. Can’t beat that!

Well, have a good day all. i will be back after i close the loan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

QC, AShy, runnin, 2Can, and CutieB Wassuppp???

By Keyshia Johnson

May 4, 2006 09:48 AM | Link to this

I will love to date oder guys,because they are will established.I will not like to marry a guy about my father age.Sometimes times it is wrong to date a older guy,cuz they have already live their lives and they will like to settle down or get marry.I am only 20 I am not ready for marriage no at all. From:Keyshia Johnson princessnellykelly@yahoo.com

By gavi1126

May 4, 2006 09:49 AM | Link to this

Good morning Everybody @ 2 Can. I agree with CutieB. Most of the women in their 20’s would ofcourse act like they are in their 20’s. But there are some very mature women out there like moi and CutieB and some who are compatible with men in their early 30’s! I’m only attracted to older men, cause i like the security, the way i’m appreciated, treated etc etc. So intially it all just depends on the maturity and how you intellact.

By Honeycomb

May 4, 2006 09:50 AM | Link to this

@Mel S. not all older guys, because i have dated a few guys my age (40) and they played a lot of mind games. One in particular I still ask damn he don’t act his age. OMG…

I know guys that are in their 30’s and all they want is younger girls, like 18-25, and I beleive the reason is because with a woman their age, she may have been around the block a few times and she know the games and have a little more knowledge and the younger girls are somewhat gullible and they can kind of mold them in the way they want them or even raise, and control them, to a certain point.

By UGOBOI

May 4, 2006 09:50 AM | Link to this

As much as I agree that age is just a number, a person’s state of mind does go with age. Some decisions and ideas one has changes with age and that comes from experience. No matter how mature a person seems to be and may actually be there is something that will bring out the age factor.

I have dated older and they fell asleep in at the movie theatre on Friday night. I guess after working all week, Atlanta’s Friday traffic, the 2-hour wait for dinner and then the movie attempt was too much. They needed to rest. Who in their 20’s ever heard about having to rest?!

I have dated younger and the in-experience with handling an ex-boyfriend proved to be extremely awkward for everyone. It’s okay, I know I am not the first person you ever dated and we may run into ex’s from time to time. But the games played between the two of them was like watching a bad remake of “Two can play that game”! The immaturity was unbelievable from an otherwise very mature person. Only life’s experiences can teach one how to deal with uncomfortable situations.

By Keyshia Johnson

May 4, 2006 09:50 AM | Link to this

IF I meet a guy and am oder than him,he should be more mentual then I do.

By G

May 4, 2006 09:51 AM | Link to this

One of the best relationships I ever had……….I was 26 and she was 42. For the most part everything was cool. I was the one to make the split b/c of the age thing. She had been married twice, two kids, and basically lived a couple of lives b4 I even started my own. Maybe in another lifetime? It’s hard to say b/c our views are different at 25 than we are at 35. Oh fellas, “yes”…….she was stacked!

By distantALsavga

May 4, 2006 09:53 AM | Link to this

Yo Rocker you better be careful about 18 year olds some of them may not be 18. Down on this end Savannah the older women are a lot more respectful than the younger one’s, but i have also run into some younger women who can cook and handle thier business.I;m in my mid 50’s and so is my wife and hey what can i say. It all has to do with attitude. I have been reading comments on the Blog lately and a lot these Ladies on here has it going on as far as what they want and how to take care of thier Man and there business.and thier self.

By gavi1126

May 4, 2006 09:54 AM | Link to this

@ MusinL Well, if she doesn’t know then inlighten her! The situation could be the same in a case where some woman in u’re age catagory just moved here from some other country and wouldn’t know “smurfs”!! But otherwise, she’s everything u would want. If she’s mature enough why not? Everything else can follow through.

By CutieB™

May 4, 2006 09:56 AM | Link to this

Hiya Gavi, Rayne, Musing, Third! What’s up everybody. Sitting at my desk this morning listent to Notorious Bigs: Spit yo game

By THE INFAMOUS DK

May 4, 2006 10:00 AM | Link to this

Honeycomb Thats not true cause my cutoff right now is 26 but I will squeeze a tight 25 in there but thats it, no 24’s or below.. My cut off for Babes older is about 44 cause I need her to be able to move around and make me some eggs in the morning..

By Thirdwheelflunkie

May 4, 2006 10:02 AM | Link to this

LOL @Musing The smurfs rocked back in the day!!

By singlemom

May 4, 2006 10:04 AM | Link to this

At this point in my life, I prefer older men. They don’t play stupid head games, they are more settled, and have money!!!!! I don’t think men really mature until they hit 40 or so…….then unfortunately, the mid-life crisis hits, and the older guys want the younger “Arm charms”……so it’s tough finding a guy in my age bracket, 45+.

By MusingLee

May 4, 2006 10:05 AM | Link to this

Gavi I love how you just gave me an international chick. LOL..can she be from Belize?

That was just an analogy..But, seriously if she’s too old to understand how an Xbox works then I don’t need to enlighten her..she needs a pulse.

By Honeycomb

May 4, 2006 10:05 AM | Link to this

I know someone that is 34 and he is dating a 17 year old, I think that is sickening.

By Honeycomb

May 4, 2006 10:07 AM | Link to this

@Dk, some think like that…not talking about you..LOL….

By Jo

May 4, 2006 10:08 AM | Link to this

Most of the men I’ve dated have been younger; it just happened that way. I look a lot younger than my real age so when I was a young girl, guys my age never noticed me; I was flat-chested through most of high school (ugh..) My best friend/soon-to-be ex husband is 12 years my junior & I think that’s part of the problem, his unresolved “wild oats”. The man I’m seeing now is 2 years younger than me. Yeah, usually a more mature man is more well-established but that’s not always the case, then you get those who ARE well-established but they are so cheap & won’t spend a penny on you. My current is having severe cash-flow problems but when he does have money, he insists on treating me like a queen despite my protests. BTW, a holla, a hug & a kiss to those who stepped up late yesterday (I didn’t have time to reply) & made me feel better. I was having a bad-azz hair day & it showed!

By gavi1126

May 4, 2006 10:08 AM | Link to this

And ofcourse just because the guy is older it DOES NOT mean that he is mature. I know plenty of grown men who are uncertain, play mind games, do immature sh*@ that i or any woman in their 20’s wouldn’t ever do!! So thus forth.. age ain’t nothng but a number.

By BG

May 4, 2006 10:09 AM | Link to this

Good morning bloggers. Well I prefer younger men.Me being 40 I attract younger men,men my age never approach me.I usually date men no younger than 30 and they are never over about 35.I look about 27-30.That was a helluva family trait to inherit but I’m not mad.lol Don’t get it twisted the men I date must be mature mentally.I’m not trying to raise anyone’s child.

By KIR

May 4, 2006 10:10 AM | Link to this

Good Morning, Everyone! On topic…I don’t think I would date anyone that was over ten years my senior. At least while I’m in my 20s. I have only had the experience once of getting to know somebody that was younger than me. He was 21. Everytime I thought about it I felt weird, but at least he wasn’t in college. He had a full-time job and some real world experience so that helped…it only turned into a friendship though…

On older men…I find that men in their 30s know more about how to treat a lady and they have more intellect and experience, sometimes more interests than guys my age. I have met some great guys in their 20s, but I sometimes wondered if I would be even more into them in a couple of years after they had lived life more. Some of the older guys I dated may have thought the same thing about me. :)

By MusingLee

May 4, 2006 10:15 AM | Link to this

There is nothing funnier than seeing a cute woman out with a guy 20-30 years older than her, and he’s wearing the “cross color pants” with the one pant leg pulled up and trying to talk like he’s 21. LOL

By COB

May 4, 2006 10:15 AM | Link to this

I dated a guy who was 14 years older than me, I’m 27, and it was the worst experience of my life. We were on the same level mentally, but socially we weren’t. He never wanted to hang out with my friends (who were all around my age). What made me decide to give him his pink slip was on my birthday - I planned a dinner with him and some of my friends at a nice restaurant and he refused to go because he said he wanted it to just be him and I. Looking back I now see he had alot of issues.

By divine1

May 4, 2006 10:15 AM | Link to this

@DK - Your dating age range is from 26-44? How old are you again? I’m assuming you are somewhere comfortably in the middle of those 2 numbers

I guess the main problem I have with dating a man much younger than myself is that I am the mother of 2 boys. I would hate to be a hypocrite and go off on an older woman that (Lord forbid) went after my son(s) -yes, I said it knowing I have had my way with some other woman’s son (6 or so years my junior) back my heyday. If you want to know what a older woman will be facing if she steps to my much younger son - just think of the mother in “Stella got her groove back” and put it to the 10th power. Yeah, Mama is not going to play that.

By divine1

May 4, 2006 10:17 AM | Link to this

@MusingLee - What do you know about Belize? Have you ever been to Dangriga or Belize City?

By THE INFAMOUS DK

May 4, 2006 10:17 AM | Link to this

Honeycomb A 34 yr old dating a 17 yr old is called a Perv and should be on his way to jail with R. Kelly. Eventhough R wont be going he should cause I saw the tapes and it was him..

By gavi1126

May 4, 2006 10:18 AM | Link to this

@ MusingL Sure..that’ works. Belize, Brazil, India..Whateva!! lol.. So u do agree with dating women younger than u?? I’m just trying to back up my girls up in this blog who date guys 5/7 - or above their age!! Hai CutieB

@ HoneyC That is pretty nasty.. 17.. too bad they can’t even get their drink on..lol.. ewww

By runninatl

May 4, 2006 10:19 AM | Link to this

Morning people, as I stagger in today. I tend to look at maturity and life experiences more than age in most situations. Some people are able to act more mature but sometimes it’s just that, an act. We all put our best foot forward when we first meet someone and invest time in them and eventually your true maturity will show. Some talk a good game just to fit in, make conversation. I also believe your life experiences also play a huge role in your maturity level. Some people mature faster because they were forced to at a young age.

I have a sister who is 25 so I try not to date anyone younger than her, just plays with me in the back of my mind. So she acts as my Mendoza Line. Plus, my recent experiences with women younger than 25 have not been too good from the maturity stand point. Then you need to be compatible and have something in common as well. The difficult part is that it takes a minute to get to know someone, once you each let your guard down, once you put away the facade, and once you two get comfortable and start being real, that’s when you truly find out if someone is on your level or not, regardless of age.

Sup Rayne, Musing, DK, gavi, the rest of you folk.

By Jackie

May 4, 2006 10:19 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

I have dated guys who were a lot older than me,the oldest being 47. (I was 25). Age does make a difference, but the 47 acted totally immature for his age. And he didn’t have his stuff together—I soon found out he was living with his mama!

My mate now is 8 years older than me and we seem to be just right. The compatiblity goes way beyond the age. While age is important, you have some older & younger men who act the opposite of what we assume.

@Musing, Dang man, you remember the Smurfs. I used to love Smurfette, she had to be one tough cat to be around all those guys.

By Johnny

May 4, 2006 10:20 AM | Link to this

Great topic!

I am 34, and two years aqo began seeing a wonderful woman who is thirteen years older than I. We are still together and are very happy.

Throughout my 20s and early 30s, I found dating women my own age (or younger) fairly frustrating, for many of the same reasons that some of the ladies here have cited for preferring older men: maturity, interest in serious relationship, and (especially) emotional stability. This last was something I saw over and over. Many of the younger women seem to have more personal issues than the periodicals section of the Library of Congress.

By Honeycomb

May 4, 2006 10:20 AM | Link to this

Well, the guy I am dating he is two years younger than me and he act like he is 20 younger sometime and I be like UGH. But, its hard to let go when you love and care.

By divine1

May 4, 2006 10:20 AM | Link to this

HEY - KIR - Sorry, I never called you back, Mama. I got caught up in my son’s soccer game and life has been hectic since then. I meant to call you yesterday, but I expended all of my energy in another conversation so I had nothing to give anyone else - at least nothing positive. But I am fantastic today. BTW, you’ve got mail in your hotmail account.

By Techbabe

May 4, 2006 10:26 AM | Link to this

When I was in my mid 20s I dated older guys exclusively because I thought I was mature and they were on my level. Looking back now …I’m in my mid 30s…I realize I may have been mature mentally, but emotionally I was very much 20 something, so I now understand a lot of the problems I had in relationships at that time were because I was too emotionally immature and I had no business with an older guy……

I also dated a guy who was 8 years younger than me… he was very mature mentally and we had a lot of fun, but eventually our emotional age difference caught up with us and I had to let him go…I ended up marrying a guy who’s just a couple years older than me.

By THE INFAMOUS DK

May 4, 2006 10:26 AM | Link to this

Divine I am somewhere between those two age ranges..

Runnin Whats hannenin?

By girlsmom

May 4, 2006 10:27 AM | Link to this

when i started dating again after my divorce only young guys approached me & it scared me!! but i quickly got over it..lol! i’ve only gone out with one guy my age (41) and he ended up being a big liar. i look alot younger than i am, so maybe that’s why younger guys talk to me. at first i was worried, but then i realized it’s because i have a young spirit. i love to laugh & have fun - so as long as they’re mentally mature - keep it coming….lol

By gavi1126

May 4, 2006 10:30 AM | Link to this

Hello RunninA Late morning ai?? LOL.. i hope guys don’t think i pull up an “act” of acting mature.. I like u’re last sentence…good one A!!

By MusingLee

May 4, 2006 10:31 AM | Link to this

Divine1 I’ve never been. But, I went to college in Miami for a few years…And all I know is every Belize chick I met was BAD Whoaaa, It’s in the water. LOL

Gavi I agree with dating women younger than me. It’s all in the maturity. I will say an older woman that was 33 almost put it on me…She was very convincing..I broke free, but just barely. Hehehe

Jackie Smurfette owned a brothel. Why else do you think a single woman would stay in a city where she was the only woman. Get a Smuf’in clue. LOL..hehehe What the smurf do you think?!!

By Kym

May 4, 2006 10:31 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

I prefer gentlemen closer to my own age (I am 33) So anywhere in the 31-45 range. I go for conversation and maturity. An a person that is more settled. I cant get with the attitude of some of the younger guys I meet. (Shawty whatcho name is, my name is proper English, use it.) It is all about what works for you.

By COB

May 4, 2006 10:31 AM | Link to this

@Jackie I feel you on dating that older dude - sometimes it just doesn’t work out.

If I can find a older guy who likes doing some of things I like doing (volley ball, ping-pong, bowling, pool, attending plays, attending sports games (even hockey)) then I don’t care if he’s 15+ years older. I just don’t want to sit home and play bingo with his friends all night.

By Onyx

May 4, 2006 10:33 AM | Link to this

Greetings all,

I’m 33 and he’s 50; we’ve been together for 6 years and age has never been an issue. We both fully understand the generational issues and we allow each other the freedom to be who we are. Some things he’ll join in on, others he won’t and vice versa.

Prior to meeting him, guys in my age range (plus or minus 5 years) never approached me. They still don’t. I used to try and figure it out; maybe I am an old soul.

Have a fabulous day!

By Mimi

May 4, 2006 10:34 AM | Link to this

Hey all…I’m a first time commentor…I really enjoy reading all your comments.

I am 33 years old. I hardly ever get approached by men my age. Most of the men that approach me for a date are in their mid to lower 20’s. I have dated a couple of them. And have had the time of my life. I truly believe that age is a number and doesn’t make the person. They were great guys and would have done anything for me. But when it comes down to it…I want someone that will know some “old school”. I want someone that can teach me something and instead of the other way around. If you just want to have fun date younger…but if you’re looking for long term compatibility stick to your own age.

By abc

May 4, 2006 10:39 AM | Link to this

@singlemom, perhaps you’re looking in the wrong places, there are lots of 45+ men that don’t chase the young things around!

By db

May 4, 2006 10:40 AM | Link to this

Morning all!

What defines being mature? I hear the 20-somethings women say that they are mature for their age all of the time, but most seem to turn out to be the complete opposite. For some women, I think that they grow up hearing that women are more mature than their male counterparts for so long that they automatically assume that they are mature because that’s what they are taught to believe. It’s just not true in a lot of cases. Most of the 20-somethings women I meet seem to be more interested in designer clothes and handbags, the next hot party to get free drinks, and finding a guy to subsidize their lifestyle. The last time I checked, that doesn’t seem too mature to me.

So ladies… why do you feel that females are generally more mature than men around that age group?

disclaimer: the women portrayed in my above assessment are women with NO kids. Mothers have to mature quickly to take care of their responsibilities, so I’m not including them in my above statements.

By gavi1126

May 4, 2006 10:41 AM | Link to this

Well seems like, young women like older guys and older women like the young guys.. So who is complaining?? Not me.. lol..

By BG

May 4, 2006 10:42 AM | Link to this

As I said in an earlier blog I date men between 30 and 35 I’m 40.I guess it’s my young spirit and zest for life.I have always been into sports of all kinds,have season tickets to the hawks,braves and falcons.I have no children never been married, professionally employed.I think the younger men see in me a women who is intelligent,loves sports,knows how to have a great time,they are getting a lover, buddy, and a friend.

By divine1

May 4, 2006 10:43 AM | Link to this

@MusingLee - You know you can always drive there (My mother and step-father owned a home down there) - it takes a couple of days but I’m sure it will be worth your time. ;)

@DK - Aight. Asking an evasive question only gets you an evasive answer. LOL :)

By gavi1126

May 4, 2006 10:44 AM | Link to this

@ MusinL Oh okkay.. u get a 10 for that!! oh & a “star” sticker as well !!

By runninatl

May 4, 2006 10:46 AM | Link to this

Sup DK, just another day closer to Friday. I feel you on the eggs and pancakes in the morning though…lol.

gavi Yep, late night. My comments were not gender specific so you can relax, I was referring to both men and women…lol. But if you are feeling guilty about something then…….lol.

Musing You are making me think about that Snoop and Pharrell video, Beautiful.

By Aggressively witty

May 4, 2006 10:46 AM | Link to this

When i was dating my cutoff was Grey pubes. If a broad looked like she was packing some salt n peppered pubes then uhhh that was a no go.

Funny thing though I have always been attracted to older broads before I met MWP anyway.

The two broads I dated seriously before her where like 5 and 7 years my senior. And back when i was a kid I can remember having a crush on one of my mommas friends who had this awesome salt n pepper long hair. Man she was fine. In fact I saw her like 3 years ago at the family reunion and she rolled up on me rubbing my back talking bout “whose this handsome fella” and I was thinking “the dude thats bout to end ya marriage” ahahhahaha oh man.

By COB

May 4, 2006 10:46 AM | Link to this

@MiMi Hi and welcome!

By Page1908

May 4, 2006 10:47 AM | Link to this

Morning Everyone!

Interesting topic! I generally tend to date men that are older than I am however, there are exceptions to the rule. In my experience, age (generally) does not matter, however, there was a time when I made a mistake by going for someone who was outside of the normal dating age range that I typically go for. I try to learn what I can from making certain mistakes and this situation was no different.

Hey Runnin, QC, Musing, Gavi, Third, Fyre, CutieB, Jazzy

By C tha 1

May 4, 2006 10:51 AM | Link to this

Good question db. ^5

By gavi1126

May 4, 2006 10:52 AM | Link to this

uh oh!! DB in the house to put it down!! Its nothing wrong with liking nice things, and if you can provide them for u’re self then why not. Ofcourse maturity does not include all of that. The older guy does not need to subsidize nothing, just be on the same level that’s all. Don’t be walking around wearing Walmart Jeans, when u’re girl is rocking 7 or Diesel..And free drinks, i don’t let guys buy me drinks cause i can do that myself and i’m not trying to babysit u’re talking all nite.

By runninatl

May 4, 2006 10:52 AM | Link to this

db I hinted at it but I see you took it all the way there…lol. Don’t be scurred and follow up with a disclaimer though because that is not always the case either.

By MusingLee

May 4, 2006 10:57 AM | Link to this

Divine1 If my girl and I ever fall out, the nest day I’m taking off to Belize..Believe It.

Runnin that is one of my fav videos. hehehe…I should put it on my iPod.

By gavi1126

May 4, 2006 11:00 AM | Link to this

@ RunninA Cool, nope not guilts on my end either. Thanks, now i can relax..i was bout to borrow that cape and the whole outfit with them crocs to fly around to calm down..

@ Page - Hai chick @AG - lol..u would’nt know if they dye their hair..

By Techbabe

May 4, 2006 11:05 AM | Link to this

@gavi1126 what does the label on a guys jeans have anything to do wth it? Now if they are all high waisted and crazy lookin…I understand, but as long as he’s rockin them the right way and he’s fly with it….what’s the problem?

By runninatl

May 4, 2006 11:06 AM | Link to this

Sup Page, where is your girl QC? Maybe the FedEx dude finally laid his thang thang on her…lmao. It’s going down tonight, the Suns season will end!!!

By THE INFAMOUS DK

May 4, 2006 11:07 AM | Link to this

DB whats goin on? Speak on it!!

By PrivateDancer357

May 4, 2006 11:09 AM | Link to this

What’s up Crew?

I think that it depends on the individual. Granted, I’m not going to date someone who is old enough to be my granddad….Unless the $$$$$ are as long as train smoke…just kidding. In that case…you can call me “Anna Nicole.” Thank you very much!!!

I have dated 9 years older and 3 years younger. It just depends on the mental state.

By runninatl

May 4, 2006 11:10 AM | Link to this

gavi I got a blind date for you, I’m gonna set you up with a wallet, with a man attached to it…LOL. Where is demigod33 today? He’s usually flying around your desk singing love songs…lol.

By itsmorenamorena

May 4, 2006 11:11 AM | Link to this

I used to have a rule:

No one older than my brother (who is 8 years older than me) and no one younger than my sister (who is 2.5 years younger than me). My rationale was these are the age brackets I am most accustomed to interacting with, anyone older or younger couldn’t possibly have anything in common with me.

Rules are made to be broken, because the man that has my attention is two years younger than my baby sister! When we first met I was SHOCKED at his age — he’s 4 almost 5 years younger than me. I mean, he was in high school when I was in grad school, yanno? But his maturity, his conversation, his spirit have impressed me. Around that time, I think I was putting out a “young vibe” because there were a couple other young brothas buzzin around and all of them impressed me and made me reconsider my “age limits.” on the younger side, that is. I am still leery about anyone older than my brother. though….

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 11:14 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Everyone!

I tend to date men older(Late 30’s early 40’s) than me by several years. (No I DON’T have a Daddy complex, I actually am blessed to have a strong loving affectionate Father) I am in my late 20’s & I just find Men that are at or closer to my age to be all about sex & game playing AND CHEAP on top of it lol. I enjoy having intelligent conversations with my Mate & the younger crowd closer to my age just doesn’t seem to understand the importance of communication. I need a man that can hold me through the good times & the bad & I find that the ones closest to my age tend to run at the slightest sight of any trouble rather than stay so we can face it together. To me, there is NOTHING hotter than a sexy, athletic, adventurous older GENTLEMAN! YUMMM

By gavi1126

May 4, 2006 11:14 AM | Link to this

@ Tech it was just an example. what i meant to say was that he should be hip and be a good match. not trying too hard to look cool either..But then, i know some fiiinnne guys who can make wal-mart jeans look good. I just got offended by DB with the designer stuff comment ; )

By runninatl

May 4, 2006 11:15 AM | Link to this

Ahhhhh…Techbabe went there before I could, handle that girl!!!…LOL. Don’t get quiet and disappear now gavi that the heat is on!

PD357 Sup, we’re gonna call you Robin Givens for now until you land that 78 year old man on life support. Then I just want to be part of your entourage…LOL.

By gavi1126

May 4, 2006 11:16 AM | Link to this

@ RunninA Yeah i like that video too.. Past wkend in southBeach..That was pretty much the crowd, I saw my fine guys..and i’m good for about a month..

By kinderbabe

May 4, 2006 11:21 AM | Link to this

i feel you fyrestarrter at 30, i too like a gentleman that’s at least 7 years older. like you said, guys around my age are usually about game and seeing how quickly they can get some. generally speaking, the convo is more stimulating w/someone who is more mature and has more “life” experience. not saying that a 30 year old man can’t be about business, it’s just that a lot of them choose not to be.

By HeavenScentFlower

May 4, 2006 11:25 AM | Link to this

First time commenting, as long as your mate treats you like the King or Queen you are then age should’nt really be a factor, because if it was well would you even be involved with that person think about it.

By storm

May 4, 2006 11:28 AM | Link to this

Good morning all! I’m a newbie. I’m overwhelmed by the different perspectives. I was married to a man 14 yrs my senior and the age difference became a factor when I reached my peak and he was way-far on the otherside of his, among other things. He became insecure, began systematically trying to control me and I had to leave! I use to make jokes about the next guy being way younger, but now, that has become the case as, at 42, I’m now attracting younger guys and only rarely men my age. Yes, I look younger than my years, even with the,long salt and pepper hair that Aggressively witty referred to, but I wouldn’t have imagined attracting guys 10 years younger or more. I was in a relationship with a man 8 yrs my junior for 3 yrs and it was wonderful while it lasted. He had major baggage that got in our way, though. So, no matter what age, baggage comes with the life you live. A little whipper snapper of 18 tried to holla and he even had game! I asked him if his mama knew he was flirting with older women! Just as Six Flags has height limits for their rides, you must be at least 25 to ride Storm. I’ve just begun seeing a young man of 25. I’m keeping it light and fluffy and he’s cool with that. We’ll see. Maybe next time this topic comes up, I’ll be able to comment on both ends of the spectrum.

By PrivateDancer357

May 4, 2006 11:28 AM | Link to this

@Runnin

You can be apart of the security detail.

By divine1

May 4, 2006 11:29 AM | Link to this

@runnin & db - There is some truth in what you say regarding women being told from a young age that their level of maturity is much higher than their male contemporaries. Unfortunately, that statement is often seen as false in today’s society where so many of our young women were being raised by mother and fathers who were often children themselves when they took on the “parental role”. We have been taught to place more value in the material things rather than the places it should naturally lie such as character. The bling matters in the here and now, not realizing that the future is closer than we think and the way the government is spending our dollars so frivolously - if you don’t have you money invested properly - not just in a 401k but on your own as well (houses, CD’s, you name it) your future is looking rather bleak.

I believe a woman/man is mature: when they can fully accept themselves for who they are; when they realize that compromising does not mean that you have lost the war; *This one is especially for woman when they come to grips with saying “No” to somebody (especially family members) is not a sin; Understanding the best investment of time you can make is spending time with your loved ones (if your a mother/father - that mean time spent with your children); Knowing that being debt-free is where you should strive to be - you children will thank you for it; Understanding that material things don’t mean much if that’s all you have to show your worth.

By MusingLee

May 4, 2006 11:34 AM | Link to this

I love how the younger women are liking the older men and passing us younger men up (late 20’s -early 30’s)…Then when the woman gets older she complains her man wants a younger woman…Leaves her. And she inturn wants a younger man like myself to “bang the dent” out the side of her trunk..Coming back full circle.. Life is wonderful and cyclical.

By HeavenScentFlower

May 4, 2006 11:37 AM | Link to this

I totally agree with Storm although i’m single, 34, no kids, great job, home owner. The last guy i was involved with was 30 and very insecure because he thought i was “high maintenanc” when i’m just a regular, successful female. So i really don’t have a problem with age when it comes to dating a man, i just have a problem with finding all the Good MEN in the ATL so where are they?

By runninatl

May 4, 2006 11:38 AM | Link to this

@Storm Ahhhh…you came with that one, classic. “Just as Six Flags has height limits for their rides, you must be at least 25 to ride Storm”…LOL.

@divine1 Dayumn, you came with the gospel right thurr, you are the diva for the day for that post! Amen!

@PD357 Dang boo, you gonna do me like that? I know you’ve wronged some bruthas in the past so I’m not trying to take a bullet for you…LOL. Can’t I just be the hype man, give you that phat intro before you go on stage…LMAO.

By SHAY

May 4, 2006 11:39 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All!

@BrownEyes I know what mean about being older and still looking good for your age…keep them guessing!

@Honeycomb I agree, the age doesn’t really matter if you’re treated well and respected.

@Musinglee But do you remember the dance called the Smurf or am I taking you too far back?

@runnin What’s happnin? Did you get them to change the timing on that gate?haha

By kinderbabe

May 4, 2006 11:40 AM | Link to this

musingleei don’t think that younger men are being passed up…immature ones are. nor, would i have use for a boy toy when i’m 40ish b/c hopefully, i’ll be married…lol. i have no problem with men my age (30ish). it just seems that often times, men 7+yrs older are ready for things that men my age are not. i’m not stating this as a rule, that’s just what i’ve experienced generally. are you an exception or something??? :)

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 11:40 AM | Link to this

@Page Hey Gyrl!

Hey Runnin, QC, Musing, Gavi, Third, Kym, CutieB, Jazzy!!

@DB I hate to tell you this but it IS true that MOST women are more mature than Men at that same age. Notice I said MOST. There are a few exceptions to every rule. I also find that most of the time women who try NOT to act Mature are only dumbing themselves down to attract a Man.

By Honeycomb

May 4, 2006 11:41 AM | Link to this

@heavenscentflower, Amen!

By MusingLee

May 4, 2006 11:48 AM | Link to this

SHAY You mean the dance that goes like this currently doing the Smurf Yeah, that is classic said as I change to the Foot Work

Now if anyone remembers the Snorks, I have a prize for you

By divine1

May 4, 2006 11:49 AM | Link to this

@runnin - Thank you, but please believe me it took me awhile to come to this understanding. I can’t take credit for lessons my grandmother tried to teach me when I was young, but never fully understood until I approached my mid-20’s.

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 11:49 AM | Link to this

@HeavenScentFlower GYRL that is a Entirely different Topic for a whole OTHER day (or week as the case may be)

I just feel that you like what you like. (as far as the pervs are concerned in my opinion we should have public hanging every friday at noon) At the same time we all know there are exceptions to every rule BUT people have changed so much that sometimes to rules just no longer apply. All the women dating younger men, if he makes you happy & has a sense of maturity & stability & he’s still fun..GO FOR IT. I have a LOT of younger Men approach me ( like most black women I do NOT look my age) but I try to let them down gently because they should not be afraid to approach anyone. At the same time there is an issue with dating older man because they are often divorced & have children & therefore DRAMA (try & say it ain’t so). So you have to find your happy place & stay there if you like..OR NOT.

By gavi1126

May 4, 2006 11:50 AM | Link to this

@ Fyre - Hello @ RunniA - Where is he, where is he?? my date.. I ain’t scurred!!

By divine1

May 4, 2006 11:54 AM | Link to this

@Musing - LOL - I just loved their noses. LOL I used to watch it every Saturday morning. If my memory serves me correctly NBC was the place to be on Saturday mornings in the 80’s.

By kinderbabe

May 4, 2006 11:55 AM | Link to this

the snorks?? you went back on that one. that used to be one of my favorite shows as a kid…lol.

By gavi1126

May 4, 2006 11:57 AM | Link to this

Amen To FyreS on women maturing faster then men.. Haaiiii…. !!! i’m part of the MOST..lol… no seriously.

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 11:58 AM | Link to this

@Music I LOVE the Snorks. GO ALL-STAR!!!

By THE INFAMOUS DK

May 4, 2006 11:59 AM | Link to this

Ladies Good Men are all around. The question is do you know how to appreciate one when he reveals himself to you? Are you open to receive him?

By SHAY

May 4, 2006 12:00 PM | Link to this

MusingLee You are going to make me go in my crates…and you I don’t mean CD’s.

By Page1908

May 4, 2006 12:01 PM | Link to this

Runnin sup:) I think QC is on vacation for the rest of the week…oh and I am not sweatin the game tonight boo…The Suns will make it do what it do! lol

By runninatl

May 4, 2006 12:02 PM | Link to this

@FyreStarrter your comment “I hate to tell you this but it IS true that MOST women are more mature than Men at that same age. Notice I said MOST. There are a few exceptions to every rule. I also find that most of the time women who try NOT to act Mature are only dumbing themselves down to attract a Man.” is str8 bull so kill that noise!!

Maturity is based strictly on an individual basis. And so it’s a man’s fault if a broad is stupid enough to lessen herself to attract a man??? When are “some” women out here going to grow up, accept responsibility for their own actions, and stop blaming everything on men? You don’t hear the men on here talking lame nonsense like that! By the way, good morning boo, how is your day going so far? :-)

Sup SHAY, how are you? Nah, but I’m laying low so it shouldn’t be a problem, I hope…lol.

By HeavenScentFlower

May 4, 2006 12:02 PM | Link to this

Thank you MsFyrre i’ll just continue to lurke for today.

By MusingLee

May 4, 2006 12:03 PM | Link to this

Kinderbabe I like to think of myself as very mature. I’m educated and I have a career. I simply find it mindboggling that younger women mid and late 20’s say they date older men because they want a mature person who has his stuff together. They want an older man that’s established with a nice home, car, and expense account. It’s funny because these are all things that they don’t have yet. The problem that many young women have is they want thier cake now. They don’t want to wait for it to bake. They want to meet Mr. Mature and eat his cake that took him 10-15 years to bake. Many women meet nice young men that have great futures, but some women are not trying to wait and go through any growing pains with him.

Now stepping down off LL’s podium…PD357 you did a good job, it’s nice and sturdy

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 12:07 PM | Link to this

@The Infamous sweetie I can assure you that the majority of women in ATL would receive a good man open arms & just about open everything else LOL! We pray on the daily basis for one. And when he finally gets here I can assure you, he WILL be appreciated. Show Yourself!!!

By LahLah

May 4, 2006 12:08 PM | Link to this

Hi everyone, My mama always used to say, *”you want what you don’t have and you have what you don’t want.” As it relates to this topic…. I’m a 27 year old woman, and I absolutely LOVE older men. 35-45 is my preference. In my experience. They’ve always made me feel more secure. I’ve felt that I could learn something from them because they’ve experienced much more than I have. They are more established, in some cases, more paid and more honest. But that being said, I haven’t married any of those older men so they must have been lacking something. What is it? Oh, I know! A lot of these older guys have been married had kids been divorced and all that jazz so none of them want to settle down and start that process all over again with a 27 year old. They just want to have fun.

Someone once told me that the true reason I not only attract but go head over heels for older men is because I’m looking for a daddy. They went on to say that when a girl grows up without a father in the home or a father figure to look up to she subconciously yearns for that and look for it in the men that she dates/marry’s. Don’t want to change the subject but I wonder if theirs any truth to that? Me personally, the last thing I’m looking for is a daddy but I do like it when a man can take charge and show leadership.

So I always say that I like older guys but now that I’m dating a guy 10 years my senior you know, holey drawls, same outfit wearing dude who’s paid but just chooses to wear the same shyt. The one I’m always talkin about. I’m kind of interested in a guy that works in my building who is 2 years my junior. He seems like so much fun. He’s nice, inquisitive, and intellegent. Only problem is he’s 25. It would be just my luck, I’ll end up with him.

By MusingLee

May 4, 2006 12:09 PM | Link to this

divine1 You are on point girl…NBC was indeed the place to be…As promised here is your prize.

Holding out hand containing 2 leftover “Cool Points” from buying Smoothy yesterday

Fyre I you are the only person who may call me Music…LOL

By Honeycomb

May 4, 2006 12:12 PM | Link to this

@DK, Men, Good Women are all around. The question is do you know how to appreciate one when she reveals herself to you? Are you open to receive her?

By gavi1126

May 4, 2006 12:12 PM | Link to this

@ RunninA No, its no bull..she correct homie!!

By Jazzyone

May 4, 2006 12:14 PM | Link to this

Stepping up on LL’s podium and furthermore men do the same thing, looking for a full stocked bakery when seeking a woman…some of ya’ll are looking for a come up as well, trying to get that icing and the cake that betty baked..so don’t trip…stick to the donuts and leave the bagels unless you brought some cream cheese to go with them, feel me?

By Jazzyone

May 4, 2006 12:15 PM | Link to this

Wuz up page, fyre, runnin, all ya’ll

By THE INFAMOUS DK

May 4, 2006 12:15 PM | Link to this

FYRE Anybody can fix their mouthss to say anything like I am ready for this or ready for that, but as i have stated openly before there is a problem in the community now days and you cant just blame it on the dudes.. Make sure youre good look deep within and Prince Charming will come.. Well let me stop there is no such thing as a Prince Charming.. Just a dude that wants to be there for you and build something with you..

By kinderbabe

May 4, 2006 12:16 PM | Link to this

i understand what you’re saying musinglee but that’s not me. i’m not mid or late 20s…i’m early 30s. i’m not looking to eat anyone’s cake that it took them 10-15 yrs to bake either…b/c i have my own cake. i was speaking in terms of maturity. sometimes older men are ready to settle down and have a relationship where as men may age sometimes aren’t. that’s what i’m talking about. it’s not a material thing for me b/c i have my own ish. i just want someone who’s serious. and as far as growing pains are concerned…i’m willing to go thru the fire w/a brotha who’s WORTH IT. if the love and loyalty of a man is there and he’s working on building his career/future that’s cool. but who wants to go thru it w/someone who’s testing your for testing’s sake? it has to be well worth the wait…and that applies to men of ANY age.

By Jazzyone

May 4, 2006 12:17 PM | Link to this

Honeycomb ^5 with both hands to you I was telling a friend the same thing you just expressed.

By MusingLee

May 4, 2006 12:18 PM | Link to this

OK, I’m going to take you back with this one….Did anybody watch “Fraggle Rock”? Currently humming Fraggle Rock song That was one of my fav shows….I know I watched too much tv as a youngster..hence the vivid imagination LOL

By Ms Corporate

May 4, 2006 12:18 PM | Link to this

Hey Guys!!

Remeber I just told you guys the other day..that I was dating this guy who is 39. He doesn’t look his age or act it. At first I was a little uncomfortable b/c I said I would never date anyone who is as old as my brother. We are ten year apart..so this was a first for me..He’s actually cool. But still no real sparks.

One of my other friends is actually a year younger than me..and I usually don’t like guys younger…but we have so much in common…

By Page1908

May 4, 2006 12:18 PM | Link to this

LOL Music….lol…hahahagasp

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 12:19 PM | Link to this

@Runnin Thank you Sweetheart, I am doing beautiful as always. How are YOU this morning luv? To answer your comment I think that if you look around at all the stereotypes that OUR society perpetrates one of the most prevalent is the hypersexed, immature, unintelligent young black woman. As a slightly older woman who might have low self esteem (caused by abuse, or not fitting the traditional mold that society has created for her) might feel it is necessary in order to attract a mate to act like that trophy most men seem to want on their arms. Again this is a STEREOTYPE but how many times have you seen us actually GO against this one? There are others out there that are complete myths but this one, Just look at the latest hip-hop & Pop videos to quantify what I am saying. And our young men & women coming up THEY THINK THAT SCHITT IS REAL!!! If we keep going in the direction we are headed IT WILL BE!

stepping off of LL’s podium but with my earrings & rings off ready to get back on at a MOMENTS notice

By MusingLee

May 4, 2006 12:21 PM | Link to this

Jazzy did you fill out a request to use that podium? LL is very particular.

By TUSH

May 4, 2006 12:23 PM | Link to this

Good Morning,

I prefer guys between 30-35 I do not want anyone younger than me and I don’t want someone my dads age either so for me this works out just fine. My problem is that I look about 18 or 19 and I am 29 so I get a lot of knuckleheads trying to holla. WHen I was younger I tryed dating a guy who told me he was only a year younger than me but after about a month of dating I found out he was like 4 years younger than I was. That explained his child like mannerism.

By THE INFAMOUS DK

May 4, 2006 12:23 PM | Link to this

jazzy Most men if they are what they claim to be, dont really want anything from a woman except a little loving.. You did say you wante a mayne right? If he wants you to pay for him and take care of him then you need to send him home to his MOM.. I think thats the problem ya’ll give too many dudes the title of Man before you know what he is.. I’ll admit its a lot of dudes wearing man camoflauge but you have to keep your eyes peeled for the fakers..

By Rayne

May 4, 2006 12:23 PM | Link to this

Ok…I am back everyone. Not that you missed me.

@PD Gyrl, I can handle all the finances when you get the old man…I can even do your PR! You just let me know what you need! :)

Man, I don’t care if dude has billions…if he’s old enough to be my daddy…I can’t do it. I need a man that DON’T need viagara! :)

By HeavenScentFlower

May 4, 2006 12:24 PM | Link to this

I can honestly answer your question DK i will be very open to receive a good man and when he reveals himself to me i will gladly appreciate him. You see i love to wine & dine my MEN i don’t see anything wrong with spoiling my MEN but the last few i’ve met just could’nt get into me doing that for them, i guess they’ve never had a Good Woman to do anything for them. For a while i was thinking, what am i doing wrong? Then it hit me not a dayum thing. So i’m open to dating MEN ages 30-50+ i don’t have a problem with that, i’d love to meet someone, establish a wonderful relationship and share my love, wealth and anything else i have to offer. I’m sure these types of MEN are out there somewhere so feel free to email ME. I’m not asking you to bring certain things to the table, just keep it real with me and be true to yourself, even if it does’nt work out we can always be friends if nothing more. Now is anything wrong with that, i certainly don’t think so. I’m finished for the day, i’ll be lurking from home Bye-Bye

By PrivateDancer357

May 4, 2006 12:24 PM | Link to this

@Jazzy ^5 That’s what I’m talking ‘bout.

By CJ

May 4, 2006 12:25 PM | Link to this

Hello everyone! I am 24, and have been chatting to a guy who is 38 for a little over a month. I’ve known him for a few years, but we recently got back in contact through a mutual friend. He wasn’t seeking a younger girl, and I’ve never dated an older guy…but we just click. We aren’t rushing into anything…and just taking it step by step! Seems to be working so far. :) Have a good day

By Page1908

May 4, 2006 12:26 PM | Link to this

Co-signing on Honeycomb’s and Jazzy’s comments.

Truth be told, all we usually hear on here is that women are a dime a dozen, yadda, yadda, yadda. But I beg to differ on that seriously. There are hella dudes out there depending on what a woman’s taste is and whether she is willing to expand her options and look “outside the box”. Men are like buses…there is always going to be another one on it’s way. It just depends on whether or not the woman decides to take that ride (no pun intended).

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 12:28 PM | Link to this

@Jazzy Gyrl I think we are going to have to SHARE the podium today because the instigator himself is running amok!!

@MUSING awww you know i luv you, just love MUSIC more lol!

By db

May 4, 2006 12:30 PM | Link to this

Sorry guys, I’m back! I had an 11 o’clock meeting with The Man. I didn’t make my last post to bash women in any way. I do take it as an insult that women always claim that they are so mature without any basis for that claim. I don’t even agree with FyreStarrter when she said, * “DB I hate to tell you this but it IS true that MOST women are more mature than Men at that same age.”* Still; you just made a statement with nothing to back it up.

In my experience; (yes, it’s only my humble experience) most the guys I know are a h3ll of a lot more mature than our female counterparts at the 20-something age. I know more men my age that own homes, contribute to their 401K, actually moving UP in their careers, and making plans for the future than women my age; and I know quite a bit more women than men. To me it’s a difference in priorities. Maybe I just measure different things as it relates to maturity level?

gavi; I never said that there is anything wrong with nice things; I just don’t like the fact that a lot of 20-something women’s life revolves around designer labels, yet they are the main ones talking about that they are so mature. If you can afford those type of luxuries AFTER you pay your bills and invest in yourself for the future; I’m all for it! I too have some expensive pieces in my collection as well, but it doesn’t consume me.

By THE INFAMOUS DK

May 4, 2006 12:31 PM | Link to this

One of my favorite shows groing up was Space Giants.. Goldar, Silvar, Gam and Rodak.. Mikko blew the whistle and it weas on..

By PrivateDancer357

May 4, 2006 12:32 PM | Link to this

Jazzy handed the mic to Fyre she speaks…and it’s a ^5 for the tag team. Fyre places the mic back and slowly looks behind here. NUFF SAID!!!

By Rayne

May 4, 2006 12:32 PM | Link to this

Oh…by the way, my fave dating age would have to be: 30-41 and he has to be a YOUNG 41. Which mine is! :) Dude, he still can do back flips! :) LITERALLY!

By Honeycomb

May 4, 2006 12:32 PM | Link to this

Well, i am ready to recieve a good man. Where in the hell is he? LOL

By g.t.

May 4, 2006 12:34 PM | Link to this

I agree with ABC. I first met my current wife when she was 7. I was 15 at the time. Not much in common then. We both married someone else, had children, she’s a widow, I’m divorced. We were reaquanted when I was 49 she 41. We found we had much in common and many mutual interests. We were married 10 years ago and truly enjoy each other. Something that would have been impossible for the years in between. As you get older the age difference begins to have much less significance and the compatability much greater.

By LahLah

May 4, 2006 12:35 PM | Link to this

*@THE INFAMOUS DK * You are right, good men are all around. I can’t speak for all women but we are just so darn picky, we wait around for the perfect man and HE AIN”T COMIN. If a man isn’t all that we need and want, we sometimes believe we would be settling if we chose to get with him. Just like we can sit hear and discuss what age group we prefer for our men to fall in. We just need to remember that Bullshyt is universal and it does not discriminate. Young or Old. We must choose those people who we are compatible with and who will add value to our lives, and not focus so much on the age thing. (As long as they are of legal age.)

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 12:36 PM | Link to this

@CJ Gyrl that was me & few years ago & hell it’s even me now. Again I say if he makes you happy & you can see yourself having a future with him then GO FOR IT.

@Kinderbabe-I agree with you. I am in my late 20’s & just never seem to be able to find someone in that age category who is about settling down. I find they are married to their job (EXCESSIVELY) or all about getting some because they think that LOVE is for Suckas. Or they are all about seeing how many hearts they can break or even spirits they can break. They often have that predatory mentality that unfortunately so many brothas have developed over the last decade. I know there are some exceptions.THERE ARE ALWAYS EXCEPTIONS But I think we have become so used to meeting & dodging the norm that when the exceptions come around..WE ARE SUSPICIOUS lol.

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 12:36 PM | Link to this

@CJ Gyrl that was me & few years ago & hell it’s even me now. Again I say if he makes you happy & you can see yourself having a future with him then GO FOR IT.

@Kinderbabe-I agree with you. I am in my late 20’s & just never seem to be able to find someone in that age category who is about settling down. I find they are married to their job (EXCESSIVELY) or all about getting some because they think that LOVE is for Suckas. Or they are all about seeing how many hearts they can break or even spirits they can break. They often have that predatory mentality that unfortunately so many brothas have developed over the last decade. I know there are some exceptions.THERE ARE ALWAYS EXCEPTIONS But I think we have become so used to meeting & dodging the norm that when the exceptions come around..WE ARE SUSPICIOUS lol.

By SHAY

May 4, 2006 12:37 PM | Link to this

Runnin I was making an old folk joke…but I guess I’ll keep my day job.

Everyone I date guys who are of legal age. I think everyone you meet has potential for whatever it is you’re looking for and dating just allows you determine just that. I meet guys of all ages, including guys who are 20 years younger than I am. I like to talk but I also like to listen. I have my own stuff, so I don’t need your stuff. I’ll pay your way to the movies, buy you a drink and then the next time it’s on you. When did it get so hard to just have a good time?

Ok..this is starting to sound like a personal ad…but we must slow down and enjoy life so that when you get older people will still come and say you look so young for your age.

By HeavenScentFlower

May 4, 2006 12:38 PM | Link to this

Just like that song Maxwell came out with:

A Women’s Worth

someone needs to flip the script and call it

A Man’s Worth

By PrivateDancer357

May 4, 2006 12:39 PM | Link to this

**All I want to know is….where are all of the “Big Mouths”…LL and company. The podium is open for rotation…and NO BIG MOUTHS!!! Ummm….must be too hot in the kitchen.

By NoStress

May 4, 2006 12:40 PM | Link to this

@Runnin, DK, 2Can, db and the rest of the fellas just holla’n atcha

see we talkin the age thing today - yeah my wife married a younger man and I’m gonna kill’em when I find ‘em - Wifey is 2 years older than I am and if you don’t mention it we forget most days…but that is normally the age range that I would stay in back in the day - always older - didn’t want to fool with the young chicks but what I found is that age don’t guarantee you nothin - you would like to think that someone has gotten they grown up on by a certain age but hey and I give people credit for being mature for their age but young is young and a lack of experience is going to show through at some point. You are as mature as your worst reaction and that is about the size of it.

By Jazzyone

May 4, 2006 12:40 PM | Link to this

Musin I don’t need a request baybeh,Ma gets what she wants..believe it. As I look down on the top of your head from these 4’1/2 inch wedgies.…Don’t make me pull out the pictures of you doing backflips off my couch and getting your feet caught in your cape…Page where you at?? Did you get the negatives from the table?? (batting eyelashes with mischievious smile)

Infamous I brought it up about men wanting a sistahs cake…but game recognize game..I think iv’e said in the past I don’t split my yoke with the male folk. I am a woman of experience and maturity and don’t play games or deal with the drama. If I’m running with u you gotta have your own cake to bring to the table because I’m bringing mine and we can do some cake baking together. Other than that a man will be on the stoop looking stupid looking for me in the daylight with a flashlight talkin’ bout he Hongrey’..

By MusingLee

May 4, 2006 12:40 PM | Link to this

DK I’m gonna shut down the blog today…How about “Vultron” was the joint back then….Red Lion, Blue Lion, Yellow Lion, Orange Lion, and every one wanted to be the Black Lion LOL

By MusingLee

May 4, 2006 12:41 PM | Link to this

Oh yeah…And the girly Pink Lion..almost forgot. hehehe

By Jazzyone

May 4, 2006 12:43 PM | Link to this

Fyre as I tap your hand to pass the podium* get em’!!*

By THE INFAMOUS DK

May 4, 2006 12:43 PM | Link to this

Hey wait a minute ya’ll cant be out here plagerizing statements and having your girls ^5’n something you changed the gender on now.. LOL!

By runninatl

May 4, 2006 12:43 PM | Link to this

My turn on the dayumn podium, and I might be here for a minute

I hear what you are saying FyreStarrter but I’m tired of using stereotypes, videos, society’s myths and plight as an excuse! Our parents and grandparents took on much tougher burden for us. I couldn’t even imagine living through those times so I refuse to allow myself or my children to get caught up in the fakeness of rap videos and what society tells us we can achieve and become.

If I gave into the stereotypes of black men in Atlanta today then I should quit my job right now, go make a mix tape and video, then go to jail and come out on the DL. But I’m not giving into society’s stereotypes and I will continue to hustle and grind. Life is not perfect by any means but if you allow yourself to give into low self-esteem, abuse, poverty, negative stereotypes, then you will never allow yourself to achieve greatness. Stereotypes, pressure from society, self esteem, all that is mental and we control that, we own it, and we allow these things to be more than they are. If you love yourself for the beautiful, strong person that you are and find someone to love you for those same qualities, and who has those same qualities then you can achieve greatness together and pass that on to your children. We must break the cycle! clothes, jewelry, cars, houses, all of that are material things. Your name and what you stood for is the only thing you will leave behind when you die, none of that material stuff is coming with you.

So to answer your question, WE must choose to go against the stereotypes. We must choose to fight for our marriages, to respect, honor and cherish women like we would our mothers, even if we didn’t have one. And women need to respect, honor, and cherish their men like they would their fathers, even if they didn’t know them. We must raise our children with love and morals, even if we’re no longer with their father or mother. We can turn off BET & MTV, it’s just a channel, just a simple choice. We all have choices, so when are we going to stop making the wrong ones? I’m tired of excuses, I’d rather make a change.

By AShyGirl

May 4, 2006 12:44 PM | Link to this

Good afternoon, everyone! I’m running late today due to meetings and the like but I’ve dated both younger & older than myself with the same results: disaster. The younger guys were looking for rich models who would take the place of their mother while the older guys were looking for, as a previous blogger noted, “cake toppers” who would cook, clean & “give” them some offspring. Go figure.

By C tha 1

May 4, 2006 12:44 PM | Link to this

I believe what some women do not understand about older men is that how some older men may view younger women. Generally speaking with youth (regardless of maturity) comes a bit of inexperience. This inexperience usually equals to easy prey. There are times women can be so amazed at how mature, established, refined, and well rounded an older man can be to the point of where it blinds them to who that man really is.

If a man has been around the block once, twice, three, maybe four times, trust me he is battle tested. By the time he is 30+ we normally are set in our ways…which means you have to enter our den…a lion’s den. True male lions are lazy, but if they feel like eating you he will. The same thing with older men. If he wants to manipulate and use you he will. If a woman is simply impressed because some men obviously work hard and accumulated some things to secure themselves. On top of that hold a decent conversation (some women swear all men are dumb).

I think MusingLee said something about it takes 10-15 years to really bake the cake. Some women just can’t wait. I know if I’m still single by the time I “make it” (whatever that means) it is going to be hard for me to trust a woman simply because I did it alone.

OK off he soap box. That podium yall built is pretty nice. Good lookin;)

By Laney

May 4, 2006 12:44 PM | Link to this

great comments today y’all! keep ‘em coming!

hey, I’m a baby and I remember the snorks, Lee =)

By DuShawn

May 4, 2006 12:48 PM | Link to this

I can remember when I was in my early twenties. There was a young lady from our neighborhood that I wanted to date. She was about 10 years older than me. I made my interest known. The word got back to me that she was attracted, but thought I was too young. I didn’t understand her reasoning. At this time, I had graduated from college, owned a plush condo, a good job and a profitable hustle. Now that I have gotten older, and review her logic retrospectively, I feel what she was saying. One learns a lot of life lessons in a 10 year span (especially during that early 20s to early 30’s decade). Ironically, I have discovered that the older you get the less significance an age difference has. A 28 year old dating an 18 year old is unusual, but a 40 year old dating a 30 year old is acceptable.

By sunnie

May 4, 2006 12:49 PM | Link to this

I am a 38 year old woman who usually doesnt date.I have met someone and I must say AGE doesnt matter.He is 23 and acts like a really old man,me myself look to about 24 some times younger as i been told.Older men dont want to date me once they find out my age,but younger men never believe my age.So I say its all up to you.Some times love come in different colours,ages,religion,sizes.Who ever said age matters must not have ever been in love.

By AShyGirl

May 4, 2006 12:50 PM | Link to this

C tha 1 Don’t let your homeboy fool you into thinking you can mold a girl into whatever you choose. That is very dangerous b/c your girl—like any woman—can flip the script at will. It’s a gift most, if all women possess.

Dayum, now I’m going to get kicked out of the womanhood for telling secrets!

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 12:51 PM | Link to this

@PD357 Gyrl they do NOT want any of this!! The kitchen is for pros NOT amateurs.

@DB—I must say that I have NOT had the pleasure of meeting any of the kind of men you say you know. In fact I have been single for over 3 years because the kind of men you say you know DON’T seem to exist on this planet. Where are you hiding them?? And WHY are you hiding them?? LOL Women are more mature because we tend to look at situations from many different angles. We know how to stay committed, be patient, & yet still be caring & loving. Why do you think there are more young black women in college than black men? It’s about committment, staying the course. For us It’s about The Right One, Not about Mr or Mrs. Right Now.

By Lovey

May 4, 2006 12:51 PM | Link to this

Just jumping in on the convo. yall all seem to know each other.. anyway.. The main thing when you date somebody older or younger is to make sure there is compatibility there.. an older person might love the old school music..late 70s 80s’..or older movies like lady sings the blues, etc. but if you date a younger man or woman they won’t appreciate it and vice verse. Me personally, 35 still like to have fun like I did at 20-25.. I like to run, workout and play and wrestle with my man…and just be silly at times… very energetic.. but an older man may feel awkward or not have the stamina.. 5 years older and 5 years younger is the limit..

By storm

May 4, 2006 12:52 PM | Link to this

@divine1 and runnin as i do my holy dance Yall bout to have church up in here! Amen! @DK I’m waiting with an open mind and heart for that good man of which you speak.

By PrivateDancer357

May 4, 2006 12:52 PM | Link to this

Additionally, women usually have to settle for what’s available. At times this may mean “taking a work in progress man,” “baby (ies) daddy,” “unemployed” or whatever there situation is at that time. As the stats suggest…black women have deifnately surpassed black men in education and $$$$. My point…most women are single by choice because most black men don’t measure up/intimidated/or we just don’t want to settle.

Men like LL have got it all wrong.

By NoStress

May 4, 2006 12:54 PM | Link to this

@heavenscentflower - okay lets get it right - Maxwell re-made Kate Bush’s song This Woman’s Work

Alicia Keys sang a song called A Woman’s Worth

keepin the facts straight for the people!

By AShyGirl

May 4, 2006 12:55 PM | Link to this

Rayne You are going to a closing!? Go get ‘em girl! Holla when you get back.

By gavi1126

May 4, 2006 12:55 PM | Link to this

Yes girl.. u’re on it : ) @ HoneyC 12:12 comment

@ DB - u r right in that sense.. go buy stuff on u’re credit card when u know u cant afford it and stuff.. otherwise, like i said earlier, i took it personaly cause i like nice things..but only what i can afford ; )

@ RunninA - Damn..u said it all..Didn’t ya.. Yea, BET, MTV and all does effect the self-esteem, stereotypes and all. It like even though we are aware of it all as adults we fall for it. Maturity is when you know when to stop i suppose. @ the end it is ofcourse the morals that keep u’re head straight. Even though i don’t have kids, i will teach them what my parents taught me.

By maylilly06

May 4, 2006 12:56 PM | Link to this

I don’t think the age difference really matters once you start to think about it. I’m seeing a guy that is fifteen years older than me (I’m 20 on Monday and he’s 35 in July), so we’ve had to really consider it. Sometimes it’s awkward to realize that he’s been driving as long as I’ve been alive or that when he was graduating from college, I was just starting kindergarten, but still….we have come to the conclusion that it is about maturity and not age. The hardest part is getting your friends and family past your age difference…there were a LOT of raised eyebrows. But, we love each other and we make each other happy. What more could any two people possibly want?

By Jazzyone

May 4, 2006 12:58 PM | Link to this

Look here, if a cat is older or younger and can catch my eye and put it down, handle his business and tame me? be secure with who he is and know how to keep the daily grind going along with the night grind at the crib, then heck he can be 20 or 50 and I’ll wear him like a nice pair Guisseppi’s from the summer line baybeh…

By 2 can play that game©

May 4, 2006 01:01 PM | Link to this

what it do, Rev…..just chillin…..

By AShyGirl

May 4, 2006 01:02 PM | Link to this

Blue_kolla If older women are sweating you like that (wanting to put you on lock) then maybe, just maybe, you are bringing your “A” game & they like it.

By HeavenScentFlower

May 4, 2006 01:02 PM | Link to this

No Stress Thank you for correcting me

By storm

May 4, 2006 01:03 PM | Link to this

@PrivateDancer Why settle? What’s wrong with just making friends or being alone while you wait for THE ONE?

By PrivateDancer357

May 4, 2006 01:04 PM | Link to this

Most men are looking for a “come up” too. That’s why it’s hard for them to commit…afraid they may miss something better.

What we do, help fix yo credit, expose you to things you can’t even spell, show you how to dress, boost you up to get a promotion on your job, encourage you to go to school, etc… Most times you just a squirrel tryin’ to get a nut—Orange Juice Jones. Hell we prolly own the tree!!!

Most times we are already at our peak, when you come on the scene…then we try to bring you up to our plateau.

Exiting podium

By storm

May 4, 2006 01:08 PM | Link to this

@Jazzyone WHAT YOU SAID GIRL! WHAT YOU SAID! YES!

By Page1908

May 4, 2006 01:08 PM | Link to this

JAZZY…girl, I am here and I got the negatives from the pics of Musing doing back flips off of your couch last week..lol…on the phone with Musing’s girl: hey girl…yeah…what? Oh really? Yeah, girl, you shoulda seen his azz…yeah…he did? Oh yeah, is that so? Oh…ok, girl, call me back and let me know what he says…yeah Peace-Up-ATown-Down lolol

By AShyGirl

May 4, 2006 01:08 PM | Link to this

@Honeycomb from your earlier post, my number one rule: if the person is under 18 or still living at home, I call it “JailBait”

By C tha 1

May 4, 2006 01:09 PM | Link to this

@AShyGirl,

True I can’t mold the woman…I just gotta see if she really got her head on straight. Maybe my charm can melt her into puddy in my hands…then I’ll mold her;)

By PrivateDancer357

May 4, 2006 01:12 PM | Link to this

@Storm

I ain’t/don’t settle. I don’t waste my time with “works in progress.” I don’t have that type of patience or time. I like grown a* men, who behave/have accomplished themselves as such.

On the flip side, if i don’t meet their standards, that makes me a free agent…and I ain’t even mad…just gotta keep it moving.

Yes, I do have friend, but none of them are considered “potential” material.

By Jazzyone

May 4, 2006 01:13 PM | Link to this

Privatdancer..What?? who’s runnin this blog today?! High Five to all my chicks! Lets see who can stand tall at the podioum now Hmk?..(looking round to see whos going to Man up?)

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 01:16 PM | Link to this

@Runnin I can honestly say I cannot disagree with anything you said on the podium, but the problem is is that the MAJORITY of people think the exact OPPOSITE of what you are saying. So therefore we have ended up right where we are. In dysfunctional relationships that do not last & broken & bruised. And making changes? Are you kidding me? People look at your like you are PSYCHO when you say that you want to change things or ask them why do you allow your children to be in/around such garbage. In essence where our Grandparents cared about what happened to us, we have now gotten to the point where we say if it ain’t about me then it ain’t about nothing. I find myself asking on the daily How the h3ll did we get here?

@PD357 Gyrl I run into that more & more than a Man will EVA care to admit. You are TRULY preaching to the choir. Let the chuuuch say YA-MEN! But when you point that out…OMG do they ever get offended all of a sudden & want to cuss you out!!! Funniest thing I have EVER seen!

handing Mic to my gyrls so they can show these suckas the realness

By PrivateDancer357

May 4, 2006 01:19 PM | Link to this

@Jazzy

Girl…they running like roaches. You like when you cut the lights on. LOL

By HeavenScentFlower

May 4, 2006 01:19 PM | Link to this

^5

Do the LADIES Run this BLOG?

HELL YEAH

By C tha 1

May 4, 2006 01:20 PM | Link to this

@PrivateDancer357

I understand women who try to help brothas out…fix their credit, suggest going to school, being a style coach, etc. I applaud those who do it really. But some of you all bring it up in a tacky way. If a brotha made some bad choices in the past and gotta work from behind to catch up, trust me its gonna take a little sensitivity training for some of yall sistas to be effective. Think about it, you’re basically talking about money issues to a man. This is a really big subject, that can quickly become sensitive.

By PrivateDancer357

May 4, 2006 01:24 PM | Link to this

Where the MEN at? They got the hush mouth disease.

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 01:24 PM | Link to this

@PD357 Sweetheart, settle is a word for the weak minded. There are TOO many ladies out here who seem to think they should act/like/or feel this way to get a good man. I do find it HILARIOUS that when you try to explain this to catz they get mean, rude, & classless lol.. This is also why I tend to date older men as well. Most of the time they have their schitt together AND they can handle constructive criticism because they have seen MUCH in life & value what others have to say. Please believe it that a real woman wants a real man. And yes there are fakers out there, ladies please call em out on it! Don’t let the next naive chick be the new fish lol.

By Aggressively witty

May 4, 2006 01:24 PM | Link to this

Are yall done with your LASM meeting?

By Jazzyone

May 4, 2006 01:25 PM | Link to this

* To all the ladies* Do the ladies run this blog?? Hell yayah

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 01:26 PM | Link to this

@HeavenScentFlower

HELL YEAH we Run this Blog. The Strong Build, the Weak Break.

By 2 can play that game©

May 4, 2006 01:26 PM | Link to this

the ladies ain’t hittin on…………shyt!

By NoStress

May 4, 2006 01:27 PM | Link to this

@PD357 - prollem is that ain’t your job - save potential for the NBA Draft - this ain’t no makeova show but I swear ya’ll need one. If you buy a fixer-upper then expect to have some prollems and I hope you got the budget to fix it but don’t be surprised if it drains ya dry because you didn’t notice that it wasn’t worth jack even before you tried to fix ‘em. That is why ya’ll walk around here so salty about these punks cause they had “idiot” written on their forehead and ya’ll went out and bought them a hat.

By Jazzyone

May 4, 2006 01:28 PM | Link to this

AG yeah we are finsihed 4 now, go ahead step up to the mic..wuz up??..

By Page1908

May 4, 2006 01:29 PM | Link to this

Passing out refreshments to the *ladies on the podium* rolling my eyes at all the men

By storm

May 4, 2006 01:29 PM | Link to this

@PrivateDancerI apologize if it seemed I was implying that you settle. Note: I didn’t ask why are you settling. I was responding to what you said about women settling.

By divine1

May 4, 2006 01:31 PM | Link to this

@ Fyrestarter - I often think the same thing…. Unfortunately, we’ve lost that sense of being our brothers keeper (community) and even if we try to show support to each other there has to be something in it for us. :(

By Been Thru It All

May 4, 2006 01:32 PM | Link to this

the men are right here….shaking our heads listening to this crazy sh!t…I use to believe that women mature quicker, but life has taught me that women can just lie better…age isn’t to much of a factor, but if the lady/man hasn’t been thru any hardships in there lives they will always act inmature….

By C tha 1

May 4, 2006 01:32 PM | Link to this

Hold up, hold up. I rarely speak up, but if I may. First giving honor to God, who is the head of my life, etc., etc. Secondly, I’d like to thank PD357 and her crew for building the podium.

Now, let me address yall women. Some of you are doing some big things. That’s cool, sexy even. But if if wasn’t for men this blog wouldn’t even exist. For all the accomplishments you all may have earned there is still one essential element you secretly covet…a good man!

Some where in your life you all became intoxicated with the idea of falling in love and living happily ever after. I doubt this has happened yet, especially if you live in ATL. This city is a young man’s dream… a black man’s heaven. We all have passed up good women…and women will yall please finally admitt some of you have passed up good men?! It is virtually impossible for all of us to be as bad as you all claim. If you mention sticking to your standards, hey I got news for ya…we all got them. I even got to admit some of mine are a bit ridiculous. Just be honest with yourself some times…and realize the fantasy love life you envisioned for yourself is just that…a fantasy.

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 01:34 PM | Link to this

@Agg oh luv I think the problem is is that we DON’T talk about these issues CONSTRUCTIVELY & OFTEN enough.

By PrivateDancer357

May 4, 2006 01:35 PM | Link to this

@Fyre

So many of them a used to dealing with girls, so when a REAL women of intellect comes around they start trippin’.

1st of all they realize that those Jedi mind tricks don’t work on us. And yes, we are going to call you out on your BS. No, the wool will not be pulled over our eyes. Yada…Yada.

That’s why they get offended. Believe THAT!!!

By MusingLee

May 4, 2006 01:36 PM | Link to this

As I wheel in the new Man Podium with 48inch Plasma with laptop attachment, and fresh soda compartment

Ladies you all are skrait trip’pin…MOST men are trying to build their futures by working or hustling..99.86% of men aint looking for a woman to come up on..I have heard nothing but women today talking about wanting a man that has houses, cars, and finances…Stop trying to eat the mans cake and then complain when he ask for a slice of yours…..Said as I step off podium and grab a cold one

By Jazzyone

May 4, 2006 01:36 PM | Link to this

Nah baybeh, some of have our eyes wide open, not shut…don’t do projects or fixer uppers, I prefer my men established and holdin’ it down. Never was a project type chick too busy holding my thang’ down. to have time to do the work his momma didn’t finish.

By KIR

May 4, 2006 01:42 PM | Link to this

back from lunch…checking in…too many good posts to comment on…but i’ll try to hit a few.

@musing Fraggle rock was the joint! Dance your cares away, working’s for another day, let the music play, down with fraggle rock My mom bought me a small LP of fraggle rock. :O

I agree with some previous posts. For me, it’s not so much about a man’s age as it is how he lives his life. Is he intelligent? Does he have good character? Does he have dreams? Is he pursuing them? Does he have interests outside of his job, new things he can expose me to? Whether a man is 25 or 35, those things are important to me because that is how I like to live my life…constantly learning, doing new things, pursuing my dreams, using life to gain good character. I have met some younger guys who didn’t quite know how to treat a lady and met some older guys who hadn’t pursued their dreams, so I guess age doesn’t make as much difference as how the individual is.

By Techbabe

May 4, 2006 01:44 PM | Link to this

OK ladies….I’m gonna have to call BS on some of y’all. We have numerous men on this blog telling y’all what guys want and look for…but we refuse to listen and start giving testimony about the sorry guys we’ve dealt with…Like NoStress just pointed out. These brothers did not call each other up and agree to do the same stupid, dumb stuff to y’all. The only common denominator was YOU. Stop male bashing for a minute, look within yourself and take the time to listen to what the guys are trying to say. Maybe your not finding the good ones cause your putting out vibes that only attract the bad ones….just food for thought.

We might think we are running things…but most of us are doing it on our own and without a man.

By Rayne

May 4, 2006 01:45 PM | Link to this

AShygirl i just saw your post from like an hour ago! :) sorry…had my closing, went great!!! need MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By PrivateDancer357

May 4, 2006 01:45 PM | Link to this

@NoStress

Some women like fixer uppers, and you get what you get…but I am not into that. I want the complete model…fully loaded (physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually) and all running in optiminal condition.

Cause that’s what I am bring to the table. I’m the best I can be…so I deserve the best that he can be.

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 01:45 PM | Link to this

@Divine1—See that is soo true & yet soo sad. Again I ask HOW did we get here?

@C tha 1 see you are right about ATL & you are about most of us covetting a good man. What you are wrong about is that most of us are STILL intoxicated with this whole LOVE thing. Thanks for culture & stereotypes I think most of us gave up on that pipe dream back in the stone age!

By Page1908

May 4, 2006 01:45 PM | Link to this

LOL Musing @ soda compartment on the podium…lmao…

^5 Jazzy

going to order some hot wings

By gavi1126

May 4, 2006 01:46 PM | Link to this

@ PrivateDancer May 4, 2006 01:04 PM | Link to this

Most men are looking for a “come up” too. That’s why it’s hard for them to commit…afraid they may miss something better.

U said it!! ain’t that the truth..

By Jazzyone

May 4, 2006 01:49 PM | Link to this

Musin, nice podium!..so listen dude, some of us have baked our own cake from Scratch and aren’t looking for assistance in that area, been kneeding that dough for years and it has risen and can feed many. If he’s bringing some more flower to the kitchen then hell he can get a slice, he can get half, hell he can even get his name written on it in cursive writing! * As I hand you a napkin here take this so your cold one doesn’t froth over onto my dayum wood floors..slapping my chicks hand to take over the mans PoPo, page turn the channel on the plasma girl.**

By MusingLee

May 4, 2006 01:50 PM | Link to this

Techbabe Girl, you set somethings skrait for these ladies…You can use the Man Podium next time…

said as I attach the new speakers and mic onto the Man Podium

By SHAY

May 4, 2006 01:51 PM | Link to this

I was listening to 102.5 the other day and men were saying they were tired of hearing woman say Where are all the good men at? They wanted in return to know Where are all the good women at? Anyway, someone called in and said that ALL THE GOOD WOMEN WERE BEHIND THE DOORS OF BAD MEN

Just thought I share that…MEN GET YOUR MAN ON AND KNOCK ON THE DOOR

By sc girl

May 4, 2006 01:52 PM | Link to this

Back to the original subject of the blog, older or younger—it does not make much of a difference when you are between 20 and 40 (either gender), but one thing is inevitable. You are both going to grow old, and then what? You have to decide, assuming you are in it for the long haul, if being with a “seventy-something,” when you are “fifty-something,” or an “eighty-something,” when you are a “sixty-something,” is going to bother you. I know it is hard to imagine this scenario when you are in your twenties and thirties, but it happens, folks!

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 01:53 PM | Link to this

@Techbabe I hate to bring this up but I really don’t think what we are saying can be considered “male-bashing” because what we are saying is fundamentally EASY to back-up. And I do agree that we need to look at ourselves to see if there is anything we are doing that may attract the predators. HOWEVER what I do find interesting is that when these men talk about what they way they are looking for it doesn’t look or sound different then 80% of the women I know or have seen in my travels. SO WHY is it so damned easy for one man to pass up one to get with another? Gents if you are a good man, then it’s simple BACK-IT-UP & no one will ever be able to call that in question. Are we so different from the generations before us that we cannot see the dysfuntionality & chaos in our own lives & how we have ventured so far out that some of our own ancestors wouldn’t even recognize us?

By PrivateDancer357

May 4, 2006 01:54 PM | Link to this

Morevoer, this goes beyond material possessions. Many men can be financially secure…but carry a lot of emotional baggage (ie. baby mama unresolved issues, lack of father)or whatever. They may not be ready.

If I have worked through my issues and I am whole as a person…I deserve the same.

By MusingLee

May 4, 2006 01:57 PM | Link to this

Jazzy that’s what I’m talking about…Why you try’in to take the Man Podium? If your cake soo big, get your own podium fixed. I ordered it from PD357 I had to pretend I was a woman before she would make it the way I wanted.

Taking remote and turnig Podium screen, while calling security and kicking Page & Jazzy out

By Page1908

May 4, 2006 01:57 PM | Link to this

LOL Jazzy* @ kneeding dough….lawd..I’m hungry! turning the channel on *Musing’s plasma tv…Hey, Look! LIFETIME is on..yeahhhhh:)

By kinderbabe

May 4, 2006 01:58 PM | Link to this

techbabe i’m all about personal responsibility…however, i don’t agree w/your comment. it is unfair to categorize that if a person attracts a no good man/woman, it’s b/c truly they ain’t about ish. often times, people are attracted to qualities they see in a person. for instance, a no good woman can be attracted to a man who is really great b/c she’s an opportunist. same goes for men who are attracted to good women. people of both sexes can tell if they can take advantages of ones weaknesses. i think the personal responsibility lies in paying attention to the signs and getting the he11 out of dodge after that. i wish it were as cut and dry as you stated. the like attracts like theory doesn’t always fit…

By PrivateDancer357

May 4, 2006 01:58 PM | Link to this

Jazzy

We must be Cyber Twins. Girl…you know you speaking on it..(two finger snaps).

By FitChick

May 4, 2006 01:58 PM | Link to this

Afternoon All.

I was just gonna make a comment about this men vs. women debate, but my girl TechBabe beat me to it! Someone posted the other day - You attract the type of person you are so like TB said the only common denominator in these bad relationships is YOU. Check yourselves when dealing with “potentials”.

Off topic: F those punk azz Lakers!! Kobe is a great player, but NOT an MVP. The main characteristic of an MVP is selfLESSness* NOT selFISHness. I hate a selfish bastid (as Aggwitt would say).

I was a true Lakers fan when they were Showtime and played as a TEAM - Magic, Worthy, Kareem, Scott, Coop.

By AShyGirl

May 4, 2006 01:58 PM | Link to this

@runnin you were preachin’ in your 12:43 post!

By CutieB™

May 4, 2006 02:01 PM | Link to this

Shay Girl I heard that same thing, said something like: “If you wanna find a good woman, follow a sorry man home and a good woman will open the door”

By Jazzyone

May 4, 2006 02:02 PM | Link to this

No one is bashin we like what we like and its that simple. Being played and all that Only takes one time for me. I learn from my experiences it is what it is. No hate thanks for the lessons. All I am saying is at my age the game is recognized and I attract that in which I put forth, the men I let into my zone have thier shyt together when it comes to the basics. We can keep it moving from there. When I pull one out the pack that I want to keep for good and stop the rotation then I’ll have a good team to pick from baybeh…I can’t settle down becasue I like so many of them and enjoy being in thier zones.
I don’t mind building with a man or even making more money than he and we both can hold it down But we are not bringing em’ up from the ground up hon don’t have the time nor the inclination to do so, past it. It’s not all about the money for me. Its about, respect, honor, loyalty, commitment and trust.

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 02:02 PM | Link to this

@PD357 If I have worked through my issues and I am whole as a person…I deserve the same.

She drains the 3 AND gets the foul!!! The Crowd goes wild!!!

@SC Girl if my man is 15 years my senior & we have been happy all these years I will do what it takes to make his last days in this life memorable & fulfilled. It’s called LOVE baby

By C tha 1

May 4, 2006 02:02 PM | Link to this

@ sc girl,

Funny you should mention that. I’m actually the product of much older man and younger woman union. Those unions were common back in the day, but today’s generation is different. I think when women began to become more educated they started leaving blue collar men alone.

By MusingLee

May 4, 2006 02:07 PM | Link to this

There are plenty of men passing up good women….Yes, I agree with that. But, there are tons of women passing up good men also. Men will do to a woman whatever you let us get away with. If women allow men to play around then we will….If border patrol builds a 20ft long wall to keep people out and half a mile away you have a rusted chain fence, people will skip the wall and go around the fence..If you women had a united front and all carried yourselves correctly then men would have to come correct..Instead we go down to the busted fence and have a good time, until we really appreciate that solid wall. LOL coming off podium using new hydralic lift

By Single-Father

May 4, 2006 02:07 PM | Link to this

Age is a number. I am in my mid-30’s and I have dated mid-40’s to low-20’s. I like to grab a drink so 21 is as low as I go, but the last few dates I have been on are with 21 to 24 year olds but they are the ones that asked me out so I am okay with this since I don’t actively search for anyone that young.

Plus it’s all about their conversation skills, knowledge, passion, career path, etc. not just age.

By olderandwiser

May 4, 2006 02:08 PM | Link to this

To put a twist on Tina Turner’s song: Our actual individual age is a blend of them all. “What’s age got to with it?” IMO it depends on the maturity level of the particular age you’re talking about. How I parse and measure them:

Our chronological age is for legal calculations and the social order. Our physical and sexual age depends on genetics, our attitudes about our bodies and how we care for them. Our intellectual age is how constantly curious and aware we are about the world around us, and how we relate to it. Our emotional and spiritual age is determined by how well we learn to handle experience and our personal relationships with God, others and ourselves.

IMO how old we actually are is a combination of all these things; they change constantly; and no two combinations are exactly alike. How old or young we are at any given point point is determined by how well or ill we have used our time up to then. And who we attract to us depends much on the age we perceive ourselves to be - and behave accordingly.

I am a 59-year-old woman engaged to a 46-year-old man: a real-life Demi and Ashton. This is hardly the accepted norm, but it feels okay to us – and that’s all that matters. Those two numbers are only what our passport and driver’s license DOBs record; they tell you nothing about who we are as individuals or as a couple, or how we got together and why. What counts is that we feel that we are the same age(s) in the ways that matter most to us, and that we think benefit us and those we love most.

(And to answer all y’all’s unspoken question: never assume that an older woman ain’t got it, can’t get it or can’t keep it. Does anyone recall who it was that first mentioned THAT issue about men’s personal grooming the other day?)

Life lesson: We attract the people that we think we are and deserve to have in our lives. Look at all the facets of yourself that combine to determine your true age and self. Fix or rearrange the things you can and gracefully accept the ones you can’t. Then see what happens.

It’s a lovely afternoon. Going out to enjoy it now.

By FitChick

May 4, 2006 02:08 PM | Link to this

kinderbabe - I agree that you need to get out of a bad situation when you see the writing on the wall.

I’ve never said that good men are hard to find, but the good man for me was difficult. I admit that my “list” of preferences was a tall order, but I got lucky. I didn’t ask of him what I couldn’t bring to the table myself.

By runninatl

May 4, 2006 02:09 PM | Link to this

Musing put me on the plasma playa cuz I’m back from lunch.

I’ve come to a revelation about the women on this blog just now. “Most of the women on this blog are dayumn near perfect”. Ya’ll are educated, career oriented, faithful, spiritual, grounded, humble, women who have been dressing men, fixing their credit, spending money on men, educating men, and teaching men about life. And the kicker is that most of ya’ll on here preaching and high-fiving are SINGLE, by choice of course. And…..this blog was started by women because the single men obviously don’t have anything to complain about. Wow, some of that was funny!

So single fellas, it’s simple, we’re on the wrong blog. Musing, pack up the podium, we’re taking it with us. DK don’t forget the plasma and the laptop, we out….LOL.

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 02:09 PM | Link to this

@Page Gyrl you better turn the Plasma to MSNBC because we have to handle our business now, then LATER we can turn is back ti lifetime or better yet Oxygen (yes I said it dammit!!) LOL

By Jazzyone

May 4, 2006 02:09 PM | Link to this

@Private Im with ya’! ^ 5 and swivelling the hips and steppin’ off the mans podium. @musin get my own podium?? okay..Screaming out at the 18 wheeler truck..back it up more so you can unload the new podium. The size of the dome…one side for the men, one side for the women. Now lets get down..slappin hands with Private dancer passin’ the mike with the swavortski (sp) chrystals on it at this point., its all you chick.

By sc girl

May 4, 2006 02:13 PM | Link to this

FyreStarrter, I agree about love, and that’s how I see it. However, I have had friends with which age became an issue when the older partner slowed down or became incapcitated in some way. No matter how much love, it was VERY difficult to give up a rewarding and active lifestyle to share a rocking chair. The older person ends up feeling like he or she is a drag on the younger one, thus feelings of guillt. And the younger one has guilty feelings because others of the same age do not have the issues. The love is still there, but the younger one still has twenty productive years ahead, but is spending them “being old” before the time. Then, one day, the twenty years is gone, and THEY are old and alone. Not always, but it happens!

By C tha 1

May 4, 2006 02:13 PM | Link to this

@FyreStarter I gotta give you props on your comment about LOVE. If it wasn’t for my mom lovin and caring for my dad I wouldn’t know what the word really means. My old man can be a hard a* sometimes, but he still a good dude. If you read my 2:02 comment you’ll know what I’m talking about.

By AShyGirl

May 4, 2006 02:14 PM | Link to this

@NoStress Dayum! fixer-upper=broke-down man

By kinderbabe

May 4, 2006 02:16 PM | Link to this

runninatl some of that was funny…lmao nobody’s professin to be perfect…we’re just talking about the reality of our dating experiences and the scene here in atlanta…

By MusingLee

May 4, 2006 02:19 PM | Link to this

Jazzy Your podium is not even real. There is no way a podium the size of the dome would be allowed on the street corner.

By Donna Outlaw

May 4, 2006 02:19 PM | Link to this

My husband is 38 and I’m 51 and our 5 year wedding anniversary is tomorrow. We met online in chat and hit it off as friends instantly. When we first met, it was like meeting someone I had known forever. We did NOT meet to be anything more than friends and we became best friends. Fifteen years ago, a 13 year age difference would have meant alot more and there’s no way I would have wanted a 20 year old when I was 33. I had no physical attraction to him at first as I was getting over a VERY rough breakup and wasn’t looking for anything more than a good friend. After I moved 500 miles away, I discovered I had fallen in love with his heart and the physical attraction quickly followed. I’m not sure if I would have began dating someone 13 years younger from the beginning but we are so in tune it’s like we knew each other in another life. He’s the most wonderful man and it’s great to be able to go out of town and be able to trust the man I married! I think him being my best friend first made all the difference because when you get to know a guy strictly as a friend, you get to know the REAL him, not the persona he wants you to see. It also doesn’t hurt that his parents raised him on good music! (We all drove 500 miles from Louisiana to see Simon and Garfunkel in Atlanta). I like to joke and say that the reason younger women date older men is because us older women have taken all the decent younger guys! (It’s only a JOKE!) And what’s wrong with having someone that’s able to push you around when you can’t walk anymore? :)

By C tha 1

May 4, 2006 02:19 PM | Link to this

@ runninATL

LOL, I gues I’m out witcha too homey!

By Honeycomb

May 4, 2006 02:20 PM | Link to this

@shay, Yes Lord. I beleive that..

By NoStress

May 4, 2006 02:20 PM | Link to this

PD357- if you were the best that you could be that means that it is all down hill from here - no more room for growth and improvement, self confidence is one thing but self delusion is something else - now trust me I’m not saying that you shouldn’t want a man at his best cause by all means he should value you as such - but what does “best” truly equal? Erybody has an issue, but not everyone knows how to love you, so is at his best the guy with the perceived most to offer or the guy who understands how to love you so that you are always moved toward your best? Ya’ll be sizing up cats like they your dream job or somethin’

By SHAY

May 4, 2006 02:21 PM | Link to this

@CutieB I just started listening in on 102.5 while stuck in traffic. They really have some interesting topics. Did you notice that a lot of the mean were calling in and saying that women just don’t listen. I’m not trying to kiss azz in up in here but I also agree with TechBabe. There are a lot of men who are completely broke down and I don’t mean financially, I mean mentally. I’m really starting to believe that whole It’s a part of a plan stuff.

By divine1

May 4, 2006 02:23 PM | Link to this

@Fyrestarter - I don’t know how we got here, but I’m trying to find the crumbs leading me back to the RIGHT path. It’s amazing to me how often we make reference to what we have, what designer clothes we have in our closet, where we have been, and who we know, find ourselves inviting each other to hang out the latest Hot Spot. What happened to donating your time to help out those in need? How about inviting your friend out to the next fundraiser that helps in the fight against Cancer or AIDS? If we don’t have children of our own, how much time are we spending with those who may not have the guidance they need at home - Mentoring? How many of us truly have a good sense or idea of where we want our community to be in the coming years? We have to do something soon. Okay, I’m on my Relay for Life high right now, just heard from a girlfriend who is heading out from LV to attend a friends funeral in Tampa. This young woman, 45, died from Colon Cancer - it just took her suddenly the day after they placed her in the hospice. Too many of us are affected by this disease and the government is not giving it the support that they should. Every day I hear about someone else who know someone who just discovered they had some form of Cancer or the other. Something has got to be done and soon.

By db

May 4, 2006 02:24 PM | Link to this

Whew! Back from a looong lunch to see some good ol fashioned male bashing. Great…

By Jazzyone

May 4, 2006 02:25 PM | Link to this

8Runnin*Nah I’m not perfect and don’t want to be it’s called flava’. Don’t need a perfect man either, just one that holds it down and can handle the basics like I can and in case he has to catch my back. I have some to pick from patnah’ so Im not lacking and never will be with Gods grace. I was recently engaged and he should have stuck to the river and streams he was used to…once he floated away with the rest of the dead fish new fish swam up stream and thats all I need to pick from. When I’m ready to settle down I’ll pick one of em and spawn more fish…what?! All I can say is there are some dayum good men out there and I don’t have any issues with getting them or finding them thats why Im single there are so many of ya’ll out here and Im enjoying slayin em’.

By Jazzyone

May 4, 2006 02:26 PM | Link to this

Musin it is when you own the block patnah’..

By MusingLee

May 4, 2006 02:28 PM | Link to this

Where did all of my fellas go?

Said as I pick up the built-in Podium cell phone and begin dialing…Ohh, I just received a podium email…

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 02:28 PM | Link to this

@runninatl—-RUNNIN…..NOOOOOO….DON’T GOOOOO SWEETIE—WE need your wit, intelligence, & sense of humour!!! No one is talking about being perfect, believe it or not I really think most women just want a fundamentally GOOD man. Besides perfection is unattainable, unrealistic, & who wants to live in that fantasy world all the time??

By runninatl

May 4, 2006 02:34 PM | Link to this

@FyreStarrter your comment……

May 4, 2006 12:07 PM | Link to this “@The Infamous sweetie I can assure you that the majority of women in ATL would receive a good man open arms & just about open everything else LOL! We pray on the daily basis for one.”

Maybe we come from different teachings in the church but my pastor doesn’t tell me to pray for a good woman to come into my life. I pray for my family, friends, forgiveness, character, strength, wisdom, faithfulness, and anything else that will make me a better person. That way when someone comes into my life there will be no doubt as to the quality of man I am. So maybe instead of praying for men to come into your lives, you should think about praying for things that will make yourselves and your own lives better so a good man would want to be a part of it.

By M

May 4, 2006 02:36 PM | Link to this

I am 35 and thankfully I have been blessed with great genetics and dont look my age. While that is a good thing the downside of looking younger then I am means I tend to attract very young men on occasion even a few in their late teens. At this point in my life I dont feel I would have anything in common with a man so much younger then I am. My preferance is men between the ages of 30 and 40. I figure 5 years older or younger works best for me. As I get older I up the age limit a year. So on my next birthday it will changes to men between the ages of 31 and 41. So far that has worked out fairly well.

By divine1

May 4, 2006 02:37 PM | Link to this

This is one of the reasons Floetry is one of my favorite groups.

It’s like, I live in whatever like is Always raining, similar, never the same See the game don’t play that, So I speak maybes and if onlys, Instead of I ams and fallen memories, All that don’t feel to good to be, But my geneology registers adaptibility, And that b***, feels like it’s fixed. Cause my great grandmother spoke of this exact same thing. I use rhyme but I think she used to sing, Or just bring her force to a circle of women. And they be aligning chakrias and mediatating, bad vibe vacinnating, evil energy eliminating as well as debating on how to raise the children and love the men. But today we’re more caught up in Ricki Lakes and Jerry Springer. Becoming Numb. Now that’s the title of my narrative base, novel of fiction. But still my facination is loyal, To how we manage to stay, we, human. a once civilized nation, or so they told me, yo.

Just seeing how we fight to be instill it in your sight to be it subliminal, subliminally, subliminal, sibliminally. Just seeing how we fight to be instill it in your sight to be it subliminal, subliminally, subliminal, sibliminally.

You,see, Breast was a blessing so I owe no s**, Obligation is a choice, but this choice I select who to share my love with, love me and be in Cause I believe that I am leaving with most of submerged in is a messed up situation so stay stationed is the advice that I leave To those who can’t come to those you won’t proceed You can stay right here And if you ever pass go, do not collect 200, I repeat do not collect So I’m this disputing being openly happy, when it serves so well to be depressed Any attempt of smiling needs impecable timing Make the suit sweet by allowing them to feel that they suited the situation to the masses, to the market, keep them pushing beemers my friend I may not be able to deliver a benz to you But I can give you piece of mind piece of mine Define ownership, Now will your mothership take with it what you purchased at your outlet So my friend once again I’ll just give you piece of mind

By Jazzyone

May 4, 2006 02:39 PM | Link to this

You know just becasue one is financially secure it doesn’t mean we are fruitlessly spending money on designer clothing and throwing money away..and spending countless hrs in the malls…some of us donate our time, efforts, money and free time to many other aspects of life. Why does financial security for a woman and a strong foundation equate to mindless behavior and a lack of knowledge on how we can help others??

By db

May 4, 2006 02:39 PM | Link to this

@ runnin: So eloquently written…

By MusingLee

May 4, 2006 02:39 PM | Link to this

Runnin can you take the Man Podium again? I am still trying to focus the in-dash camera so that you can be seen clearly on the Plasma. Does the bar need restocking? Page & Jazzy tried to drink all the Hypnotic I had in there

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 02:40 PM | Link to this

@Shay—Yes there ARE a lot of men who are broke down mentally? But the question I have is did women do that to them or is is society & cultural bias?

@divine1—I commend you because will all the other things a woman had on her plate to take the time out & donate your time & heart to such causes is truly momumental. But we have gotten so much into how can I do for me until most of us can’t spell we.

@DB-WELCOME BACK BABY we know have 2 podiums for your speaking pleasure. Oh and fellas Fyre is here so that means we have streaming MP3’s coming from our podium on the Sonos sounds system as well as the 108” Samsung Plasma Display behind it showing Lifetime, Oxygen, ESPN, & the History Channels. MAN UP! LOL

By gavi1126

May 4, 2006 02:40 PM | Link to this

@ RunninA DO NOT LEAVE.. we ain’t done withca!! I’m still waiting for the date hook up man.

By Rell

May 4, 2006 02:43 PM | Link to this

@Rev…..you took the words right out of mouth..i hate when the blog spirals into finger pointing and like you said self-delusion….that was the word i was looking for…..i am like you cats are the most perfect women i have ever meet in my life..all i know is that i am 33 and still figuring out what it takes to be a man…feel me, but you have it all together at 24,25,26….getoutmyface!!!!!

By Page1908

May 4, 2006 02:45 PM | Link to this

LOL Musing rolling eyes

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 02:45 PM | Link to this

@runninatl see sweetheart I already HAVE all those things, so the only thing left to pray for is a GOOD MAN.

Again therein lies the problem. Men say where are the good women at but when you run into one because there are many more of her out there you don’t feel the need to stay with this one & work through things. It’s too easy just to go upstream find new fish to fry.

By HeavenScentFlower

May 4, 2006 02:53 PM | Link to this

You guys on here are hilarious i really do enjoy reading this blog everyday. What do i have to do to climb up on the podium I think i’ll just pop the trunk on my Lexus and my podium will just pop out!

By divine1

May 4, 2006 02:53 PM | Link to this

@Fyrestarter - I have a lot on my plate, but I’ll be da$%#*@ if I don’t do something to help my brother or sister out. I wish I could do more, trust that I am no Sister Teresa, but the way the world is going to H-E-double-hockey-sticks in a handbasket - gotta find a way to do my part. Let’s just say I had a good foundation when it comes to giving back to the community. Oh, you are on point with us not being able to spell, better yet define the meaning of WE.

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 02:53 PM | Link to this

@Musing—-NO Page & jazzy DID not drink up app the Hynotiq in your bar!! Don’t even TRY & pin that one on us ladies too!!! LOL

By gavi1126

May 4, 2006 02:53 PM | Link to this

@ MusingL Oh, please get some more Chianti.. I drank the last bottle.

By Blue_Kolla

May 4, 2006 02:59 PM | Link to this

@Shy The ‘A’ game might just be aight, but as in the Lion analogy in the earlier post, if you get to impeding a man’s freedom of movement, he’ll get you out of his way, one way or the other.

Also it seems for most of us blogging, that no one is really attracted to people their own age, it’s either younger or older. Wassup with that?!

Maybe it adds diversity to our lives that we may either have already experienced or would have to wait on.

By C tha 1

May 4, 2006 02:59 PM | Link to this

If you wanna good laugh at a song check this out…the sample alone will have you laughin for days.. . f!@K yo couch!

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=9019335

By PrivateDancer357

May 4, 2006 03:00 PM | Link to this

I never said I was perfect…but I do consider myself to be whole. No unresolved issues, no unforgiveness, etc. At this particular time in life…i consider myself to be at my best and I have maintained this for a number of years…that’s not to say that I can’t be better.

To me it seems as though the men feel we should not have choices just like them. Because whenever we state our preferences they get sensitive…but they can spout about their preferences, likes and dislike all day…and we ‘posed to just take it. NO WAY!!!!

By 2 can play that game©

May 4, 2006 03:00 PM | Link to this

quick question for the ladies, then I’m going back to the frat house and drink some ‘yak……if the majority of y’all are single by choice, what is it that y’all really hope to gain from a “relationship” blog??? hell, do you even want to gain something, or just talk shyt er’day?????

By olderandwiser

May 4, 2006 03:01 PM | Link to this

@runninatl … Your 2:34 post says it all and far better than I just did. Your pastor is indeed wise. So are you for taking those inspired words to heart and living them out. IMO the lady who comes into your life some day to stay will be truly blessed.

By gavi1126

May 4, 2006 03:01 PM | Link to this

@ Divine1..boo its Mother Teresa..

By runninatl

May 4, 2006 03:01 PM | Link to this

@NoStress I’m co-signing your 2:20pm post and I’m gonna copy and paste it now so everyone can read it again!…lol.

By NoStress

May 4, 2006 02:20 PM | Link to this

PD357- if you were the best that you could be that means that it is all down hill from here - no more room for growth and improvement, self confidence is one thing but self delusion is something else - now trust me I’m not saying that you shouldn’t want a man at his best cause by all means he should value you as such - but what does “best” truly equal? Erybody has an issue, but not everyone knows how to love you, so is at his best the guy with the perceived most to offer or the guy who understands how to love you so that you are always moved toward your best? Ya’ll be sizing up cats like they your dream job or somethin’

@Jazzy But on the same token if you are a woman on this blog always talking about how much money you want a man to make, what kind of clothes he needs to wear, what kind of bling he needs to have, what kind of car he should drive, and house he has for your criteria then how do you think you are coming off? And I’m not talking about you, but I sit back and read and make mental notes. Just like some women jumped on LL last week because he was always talking about his stats, degrees, career, pay check, all that, so it works both ways. Look, I’m divorced with children and I have another baby momma and I’ve had to go through their bitter and spiteful stages, still am. But that’s on me, the choices I’ve made. But guess what, I still love women, especially beautiful black women. The only break I’ve taken from dating was to get right spiritually, not because I’m bitter at women and don’t think there aren’t any good women out here. So all I’m saying is stop with the blame game, excuses, and frontin. If you want the man with the six-figure salary and subsequent stats to follow then do you, not mad at you. BUT don’t cry and complain about the lack of good men either because YOU have chosen to narrow your choices. Hell, there could be a cutie at Chick-Fi-La I may want to holla at and I’m obviously not going to judge her based on her job, clothes, status, etc. Your fiancée’ dropped the ball, cool, you are keepin it movin and you’re not out here selling yourself short based on fantasies, cable television dreams, or money and status, so we cool.

By 2 can play that game©

May 4, 2006 03:03 PM | Link to this

mean muggin D1

By BG

May 4, 2006 03:05 PM | Link to this

@PRIVATEDANCER YEAH THE WOMEN RUN THIS HELL YEAH!!!!!!!

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 03:08 PM | Link to this

@Blue_Kolla I think the reason we all go up or downstream is because of negative (but for the most part realistic) perceptions of how the people in our age category act or choose to live. I think all of us are ultimately seeking someone like ourselves. I know me personally, I have just always dated older Gents (even since Junior High School) because of their guidance, caring, understanding, & stability. I think that most women who date younger men are looking for spice, sexual excitement, & adventure. (and by the way I have found this to be the case more with OLDER men than younger again perception) And Men that typically stick with younger women are for the most part looking for the same thing. Again it is all about perception. Like seeks Like even if occassionaly opposites attract lol.

By HeavenScentFlower

May 4, 2006 03:10 PM | Link to this

That video is so bootlegged it was awful. Ok i’m off to Atlantic Station to do some shopping SMOOCHES

By Page1908

May 4, 2006 03:10 PM | Link to this

OMG…did someone say baby momma drama…GASP…lawd…here we go…another one bites the dust:)

By Blue_Kolla

May 4, 2006 03:12 PM | Link to this

I have to str8 co-sign with the brothas on the fact that these broads are self-proclaimed angels without wings. WTF?!

Keep it real. Y’all have some flaws and need to step y’all’s game up as well.

By PrivateDancer357

May 4, 2006 03:13 PM | Link to this

No Not perfect…I just know what I want and don’t want.

I’ve seen enough women struggle for one reason or another(no count men, low self esteem, lack of vision,goals, etc). I became determined that their struggles would not be my struggles.

By DuShawn

May 4, 2006 03:14 PM | Link to this

Have you ever gone fishing and got one on the line, reeled it in, only to discover it was too small to keep, so you had to throw it back. That’s what I call young girls, “throwbacks” or as we say in the MIA, “She needs a few more mango seasons”. The analogy implies the fruit has not matured or ripened. I was in Home Depot yesterday and walked up on this young woman that had a big, beautiful future behind her :). When she turned around her eyes revealed the innocence of a new born baby. I couldn’t help but think of what delectable prey she would have been if this dog was still hunting. Generally speaking, one’s maturity level has a direct correlation to their chronological age. I’m of the belief that an individual’s level of maturity is a result of the life lessons they have learned and the trials and tribulations they have been forced to endure. A common assumption is that the more birthdays you’ve had the more mature you are. That’s not always the case. I’ve met some young women that were old souls and some older women that were childish. My personal preference is older women (in their late 40’s) with tight bodies and big bank accounts. However, I’m married to a woman six years younger than I am. Just because I’m chained to the porch, doesn’t mean I can’t bark at the cars.

By gavi1126

May 4, 2006 03:15 PM | Link to this

@ NoStress I missed that one, but that was good. We do choose to narrow the choices so don’t complain.. u right on that. @ PrivateD - U go girl.. i’m still working on my to be more confident, blah blah..

@ 2 can - We’re on here to share, listen and learn!! We got a lotta ” Dr. Phils’” up here.. and i’m not trying to be funny either.

By Honeycomb

May 4, 2006 03:16 PM | Link to this

@Frye, Well written.

By db

May 4, 2006 03:16 PM | Link to this

thanks for welcoming me back fyre!

There’s no need for me to step up on the podium; there are too many bitter chicks blocking the steps lol. I’ll let ya’ll shout to the world that there are no good men out there, while the good men quietly avoid ya’ll and find our mates and move on with our lives.

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 03:18 PM | Link to this

@2CPTG sweetheart if nothing else we want to gain insight into as to why more of us are choosing to be single by choice.

By PrivateDancer357

May 4, 2006 03:20 PM | Link to this

@NoStress/Runnin

I never said I was perfect…but I do consider myself to be whole. No unresolved issues, no unforgiveness, etc. At this particular time in life…i consider myself to be at my best and I have maintained this for a number of years…that’s not to say that I can’t be better.

To me it seems as though the men feel we should not have choices just like them. Because whenever we state our preferences they get sensitive…but they can spout about their preferences, likes and dislike all day…and we ‘posed to just take it. NO WAY!!!!

I’m co-signing my own S&&^. Wake up and read the knowledge that was dropped on yo head.

By runninatl

May 4, 2006 03:21 PM | Link to this

@FyreStarrter to your comment:@runninatl see sweetheart I already HAVE all those things, so the only thing left to pray for is a GOOD MAN. So again, you are daymn near perfect, you got it all, in the eyes of man and in the eyes of God. So let me ask you this, if you have it all like that then what do you need a man for? What can a man offer you since you have it all and more and God himself can’t bless you with anything else, but a good man of course? And if you are all that, why don’t you have a man? I’m perplexed…..*delusional is the right word Rell!

Rell made another good point, we must face the fact that we are forever growing and evolving as people. So what I thought I wanted at 27 is completely different than what I want now at 31. So it might take me a minute to recognize the next wifey but that’s not because I am or all men are just running through women. There are just as many bad apples in women to sift through as there are men. Plus it’s easier to recognize what you don’t want or like than it is to recognize what you do want. So if men are passing you up, again, check the mirror because he probably saw warning signs that he didn’t want to deal with. Now that goes for us men as well.

By MusingLee

May 4, 2006 03:22 PM | Link to this

Dushawn You put it down…Ladies, if you would like a copy of todays Man Podium session..I am currently recording from the custom made “Bang & Olufsen” speakers and will have them ready tomorrow along with more “Jail House Lov’in” Calendars. LOL

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 03:26 PM | Link to this

@db aww see you had to go there with the “b” word. Tell me why do all men think that women who have strong opinions are BITTER about something? It’s called seasoned luv. We have experience ALOT at this point in our lives & we CANNOT keep repeating the same mistakes over & over again. I say we share the knowledge so that all ladies can share the wealth!

By PrivateDancer357

May 4, 2006 03:26 PM | Link to this

@Fyre

Keeping reading their comments and you’ll why so many of us are single by choice. LMAO

By 2 can play that game©

May 4, 2006 03:27 PM | Link to this

ok….just currrrious….slurred speech, from all this ‘yak……said like Pinky

By Blue_Kolla

May 4, 2006 03:27 PM | Link to this

I know that everyone has seen this ( http://www.tiredblackman.com ), but damn… this is what’s happening, on the real. Too many women with NO man throwing salt on the GOOD man. WTF?!

Now if you’ve got your sh*t together, major props, don’t take this personal.

We’ll know who ain’t got their sht together by reading their posts*

By divine1

May 4, 2006 03:28 PM | Link to this

@Gavi1126 - Mother Teresa - I wrote and thought about it afterwards - chalk it up to trying to accomplish several things at once - while trying to keep up with todays topic. But thanks for pointing out to me, Doll. ‘preciate it. ;)

@2 - What did I do????? I’m just chilling today - have not said a mean word to anyone. And you know I’m trying to hold back some sarcastic-laced comments right now.

By MusingLee

May 4, 2006 03:29 PM | Link to this

Hello..Yeah this is Musing…Ohhh, sweet..Thanks alot….

I just recieved a call everyone…Guys, the Man Podium now has a sponsor..The men can now afford an even larger podium, and it’s all thanks to Haterade TV..They heard all the hate’in the ladies were doing and decided to use our video feed to see all the angry women on the blog. LOL

By runninatl

May 4, 2006 03:30 PM | Link to this

@PD357 I have no problem with women having preferences baby girl, point is don’t start crying that there are no good men when the preferences YOU have chosen have eliminated 80% of the potential candidates, especially when your preferences are based on materialistic things.

I can admit I’ve been shallow with my preferences in the past and I know what that has gotten me. But as I’ve matured and gotten older, my preferences continue to evolve and expand.

By Honeycomb

May 4, 2006 03:30 PM | Link to this

@Blue, some of yall dudes need to step your game.

Some think they don’t have any flaws, faults or any issues but been married several times and dont think nothing is wrong with them. NOW WTF!

I guess I am venting, I am sorry yall…..LOL

By PrivateDancer357

May 4, 2006 03:31 PM | Link to this

@2CPTG

‘Cause it’s fun.

By runninatl

May 4, 2006 03:34 PM | Link to this

“There’s no need for me to step up on the podium; there are too many bitter chicks blocking the steps lol. I’ll let ya’ll shout to the world that there are no good men out there, while the good men quietly avoid ya’ll and find our mates and move on with our lives.”

Ahhhhh….db, I feel you, that was classic!

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 03:36 PM | Link to this

@running sweetheart a GOOD MAN, would appreciate that I already have all those beautiful things & STILL try to get in where he fits in. I’m worth the effort. My arms & my heart are OPEN to receive @ any moment now.

By Page1908

May 4, 2006 03:37 PM | Link to this

OK, as far as I can see there are hella dudes on here that are total hypocrites. Seems to me like you change from one day to the next. One day it’s “yeah, I am smashing chicks left and right”, then the next day it’s “men just want a good woman”…Ok are you serious?! Ladies, if you go back and read the blogs from day to day, you will see that dudes on here tend to change their views very often. It’s amazing how one day it’s “yeah, I date regularly, dated the finest women, beauty queens, people always trying to get me to hook up with their friends or set me up with some nice young lady”, yadda, yadda, yadda..then the next day, it’s totally different! And now, we are switching gears and gettin on the spiritual tip?! Come on now…puhleeze!

By AShyGirl

May 4, 2006 03:38 PM | Link to this

2 the fellas: I’ll be the first to tell you I’m far from perfect. Jesus got perfect on lock!

Now, back to the original topic: If I was dating, I prefer to date a man who is approximately 5 to 10 years younger or up to 5 older than myself.

By HeavenScentFlower

May 4, 2006 03:40 PM | Link to this

I’m not single by choice, i don’t like being alone, i want a MAN in my life and i want a good one as i step up onto my step stoole to slam my fist down on the Man podium

i’m really feeling the blogging

By divine1

May 4, 2006 03:41 PM | Link to this

@2- Let me rephrase that before Gavi feels the need to correct me again LOL that should have read sarcasm-laced.

By MusingLee

May 4, 2006 03:42 PM | Link to this

Arriving in the new Rolls Royce Phantom and pulling the new and improved Mens Podium…Two 60inch Plasmas on either side…Mounted with platinum molding and carved in Ivory by 3 old lady’s from Italy, mounted with high tech Hater surveillance equipment…and a fresh and now larger soda compartment..With newly painted Men Only sign.

Men, lets get some use outta this new podium.

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 03:45 PM | Link to this

@Blue_Kolla boo we have ALL seen that tiredblackman.com clip. Trust me it is about as REALISTIC as the president caring about gasoline prices going through the roof. Black men are probably just tired of women saying the same things over & over to them. HOWEVER if you would have listened the first few times we wouldn’t be HAVING this discussion.

By AShyGirl

May 4, 2006 03:45 PM | Link to this

My Peoples I luv all y’all but I’ve got to go. I’m off tomorrow on a road trip; blog y’all on Monday! Peace!

By Kym

May 4, 2006 03:47 PM | Link to this

Okay I went to a meeting like 4 hours ago and there is male bashing and female bashing. Cool.

By gavi1126

May 4, 2006 03:47 PM | Link to this

@Divine1 - u welcome :)

@ MusingL/RunninA - Let me hold that shiny podium scece real quick..Get my singing on to calm the scene down a lil.. i don’t sound that bad.

By PrivateDancer357

May 4, 2006 03:49 PM | Link to this

Runnin

On the flip side…back in the day…when I was younger…preferences were somewhat nonspecfic…and I got a lot of “fixer uppers, overall losers, you know the whole assortment…a whole bunch of headaches i did’nt/could’nt deal with… as a result I refined my search to what it has now become. Less drama…less headcahe. But I also realize that “Yes” because I have refined my search…the bidding pool is much smaller and that’s cool with me.

I also realize that every single woman may or may not find that “soulmate” she desires. Many of us may never get married. If it happens GREAT if not, I’m comfortable with me, I’ll rejoice with those who rejoice.

As I said b4—it’s not all about materialistic things. The complete package!!! ONE MORE TIME…THE COMPLETE PACKAGE.

Your preferences may have expanded and evolved…but so have mine. They are more clear in definition and concise in content.

By Blue_Kolla

May 4, 2006 03:49 PM | Link to this

Honey We know that we have flaws, which is why any real dude is always steppin up his game, looking for a little something that’ll improve his position.

Take note at how many times you’ve heard a man say that there are ‘No Good Women Left’; probably seldom, if ever.

By MusingLee

May 4, 2006 03:51 PM | Link to this

HeavenScent Can you please back away from the Man Podium…And now I need to buff that spot where you put your greasy hands on the podium.

said as I look over at Page and her plate of wings, wondering why she would give any to Heaven knowing she has no respect for others property

By 2 can play that game©

May 4, 2006 03:51 PM | Link to this

D1 I’m drunk, don’t pay me no ‘tention today……

Private Dancer, I can respect that….who, SkeeWee, who’s shady with their views?

By gavi1126

May 4, 2006 03:52 PM | Link to this

@ MusingL - Only soda or is stocked with fine wine?? i can atleast sip on some wine cause im a “woman”..

By runninatl

May 4, 2006 03:52 PM | Link to this

LMAO @Musing and our ivory, tricked out podium!

@Page Don’t come out here half steppin, I’m here till 5 today! So if you wanna pull some cards, pull em’, copy and paste and call somebody out then boo, don’t be scurred!!!…LOL.

By Honeycomb

May 4, 2006 03:53 PM | Link to this

@Blue, I can’t tell…

By db

May 4, 2006 03:54 PM | Link to this

My definition of a bitter woman is a woman that has taken a few bumps and bruises along the way with their dealings with men, then gives up and sits back and complains about ALL men in general. I hear the bitter broad tirade all the time with my female friends and co-workers… Instead of taking the initiative to look at themselves in the mirror to see what they may be doing wrong to attract these ignorant men, they just go on the offensive and generalize ALL men for their own hardships. Yes… I too have my opinions about most females. The difference from me being only opinionated as opposed to me being bitter; each failed relationship I’ve had, I take a look at myself and improve on myself first. I then look for the characteristics in a female that I like and dislike, and then I move on from there with an open mind. I’ve had bad experiences with younger women and their delusional maturity, but I still wouldn’t rule out a younger female just because of the ignorant crap that I went through due to a previous female. I realize that all women aren’t the same.

Being bitter is standing on your podium and shouting around that all men are the same and blah blah blah… I’m this, I’m that; I’m perfect but for some reason I can’t find anybody to match my perfectness. I think I just made up a new word… Big difference from being opinionated.

By PrivateDancer357

May 4, 2006 03:56 PM | Link to this

Page

“We elect you as the Blog Stenographer.” Good Call.

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 03:56 PM | Link to this

@Page see you hit the nail on the head so hard it splintered the wood!! All these catz on here talking about Smashing one day & then the next day where are all the good women at? You used the word smash, or screw, or hit yesterday but TODAY it’s about GOD & GOOD, & Sensitivity… WTF?? NOW you choose to use those words? When all we have been asking for from the start is that you use them MORE often than the demeaning & belittling ones??

By divine1

May 4, 2006 03:56 PM | Link to this

Okay I have one question for both Male and Female bloggers: Are you truly listening (reading) to what each of sex is saying to the other? Not hearing, but listening which means taking what is said in, giving it some thought and possibly making use of it or applying it to your next relationship endeavour. We all have the right to be heard. Everyone of us has been through our ups and downs in our relationships and our experiences and what we have taken from them our valid - but dang can we all just allow each other to breathe. We, as woman, want to be viewed as strong, self-reliant, confident women who can take on the world if we need to - but the fact is that we need our men (not males who try to pass themselves off as men) eventually to enrich our lives spiritually, mentally and physically. Our men, those who carry themselves as such, the ones you don’t have to question of what and who he is ‘cause he represents to the fullest, the ones who know how to treat a lady ‘cause his mama/grandmama/auntie/Ms. Josephine from ‘round the corner taught him right, the ones who know his place in the world and is ready to fight to keep it, the ones who lift us up as we continually lift them up. We need each other, so instead of standing on podiums debating (meaning with every point the other side comes up with we are formulating our rebuttal rather than actually taking it in) our stance let’s really take the time to listen to one another because there is always a lesson to be learned. Please believe, I am all about the sisterhood and brothers ya’ll know we all need to work on some thing, but let’s find a way to do it together.

By divine1

May 4, 2006 03:59 PM | Link to this

@2 - ‘kay. I was just wondering.

By Blue_Kolla

May 4, 2006 03:59 PM | Link to this

@DB Hey if GB can be ‘THE DECIDER’ you can definately talk about perfectness. LOL

By MusingLee

May 4, 2006 04:01 PM | Link to this

Gavi You know the Men Podium comes stocked with everything a Playa needs.. Close your eyes. Since you are a lady, you are not allowed to see which button dispenses the wine. But, I’ll pour you a small glass

By gavi1126

May 4, 2006 04:01 PM | Link to this

@ PrivateD Amen, girlfriend

Byes @ ShyGrl

By HeavenScentFlower

May 4, 2006 04:01 PM | Link to this

MusingLee you’ve had me cracking up for the past two weeks, so what happened to your cape from yesterday?

By runninatl

May 4, 2006 04:01 PM | Link to this

LOL @HeavenScentFlower, your last post was cute.

@PD357 I feel you fo sho, you keep it real, I like that! I was not talking about you in particular but you best believe that I will copy and paste you when I’m pulling your card…lol. So you are officially cool with the smaller bidding pool therefore the words there are no good men left can never, ever be spoken from your lips again…LOL.

gavi Step away from the podium, put the mike down!…lol.

FyreStarrter It’s all luv and I truly hope you find what you are looking for, trust that.

By Rell

May 4, 2006 04:02 PM | Link to this

mayne this is the worse..where is the love. Like i keep saying the order is out of balance..PD, do you lady, tell me how the quest is going in say ummmmmmmmmm 5yrs your stance will soften some..time and age are a b*** on youthfull arrogance..trust me i was capt arrogance not even two short years ago..so lady i know what cup you are drinking from.

Single by choice…bull shyt…..that is just another defensive position for those that dont meausure up or have some unresolved love…i.e. still pining for that chump that left you for greenier pastures…AND i am going to stop right there…not trying to be dr phil in this beyotch, but i will say this before i go back to my vodka over at the frat house…we really do care for you ladies..because if we did not we would have this board on fire with hookups and one-night stands…trust me had some of these gentleman entered the blog under false papers to gain the trust of the lonely and brokehearted we would have more drama then daytime tv…trust that!!!

By Blue_Kolla

May 4, 2006 04:03 PM | Link to this

Everybody be cool. It’s Marta time. Maybe I’ll get a chance to cast my eyes on some of these oh-so-perfect females, thumpin through the A.

Hittin ‘POST’ as I grab da briefcase and dash out da doh.

By Page1908

May 4, 2006 04:05 PM | Link to this

Ummm Frat and Runnin, it’s really not about pulling cards, seriously. I mean, all you have to do is go back and read from day to day. It’s really easy to see who changes from day to day and it’s really tired.

One thing that I have learned while pledging my sorority is about being humble. Frat, you may or may not know about this. Because I am humble, there is no way that I could say that I am “all that” and without flaws. I know I have flaws and really it’s about acknowledging them and trying to become better at changing them. I am all for that. I have made mistakes with dudes, of course, I learn as much as I can from those mistakes. The problem is that some dudes don’t know how to communicate. So, when a woman such as myself tries to become a better woman, we don’t know how. Instead we (not me) go running to our girls who feed us nothing but BS. In fact, I actually prefer to listen and learn from men, however, on this blog, it is difficult to do so, because so many of you change your views from day to day.

By DuShawn

May 4, 2006 04:08 PM | Link to this

I can’t relate to most younger women. I don’t know what to say to them. I’ve been spoiled over the last several years. The things I say to young women tend be too direct and abrasive. Primarily because I don’t want them. If I do pursue them it’s because I have a hidden agenda and a specific position for them. If they’re a young animal, I could relate to them. If they’re a young lady, I don’t see them.

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 04:08 PM | Link to this

@db so what you are saying is when we voice our opinions we are bitter. but when you voice yours you are opionated?? Damn another double standard in society we have to deal with on the daily! Why do you think just because a woman voices her OPINION about something that she hasn’t learned from it? No women on this blog today has made generalization about ALL MEN. Those words have never come out of our mouths nor should they. What we are referring to is the predatory line of those we have run into who think that the people they hurt along the way are collateral damage to something better. And just because someone has had a string of a few bad relationships DOES NOT MEAN that there is something wrong with them. PREDATORS PREY ON THE WEAK & UNKNOWLEDGEABLE! How dare you put the shame & blame on the victim? I don’t hear you telling all these men then we are addressing out here to look in the damned mirror. But yet they are the reasons that so many women on here & elsewhere say what we say!!

By divine1

May 4, 2006 04:09 PM | Link to this

With that said - I still have my Nike’s on but for those that are LOOKING I hope you find what you need.

By lurker

May 4, 2006 04:10 PM | Link to this

For all you intelligent, please believe that the women speaking are not a representation of all, just all of those that think along those lines. I, for one, disagree with most of the male bashing. Whoever used the analogy about the wall and the rusty chain fence,oh that was MusingLee’s 2:07 post, pegged it just right. If every woman had realistic standards, that would leave no room for foolishness from the men. But heck, if I’m a woman in every sense of the word and a brotha ain’t really trying to “hear” that, what’s he gonna do? Find the one that will put up and tolerate ANYTHING! Now, if he ain’t hearing what I’m saying/asking and he moves on down the wall and the next lady requires the same and so on, nothing left to do but man up and bring it. Too many loopholes and broken links, that’s why brothas ain’t bringing it. Not cause they can’t because they don’t really have to.

By MusingLee

May 4, 2006 04:12 PM | Link to this

Heaven Girl, you know I think Demi took that cape..He’s probably hovering over Gavi’s desk..LOL

By Page1908

May 4, 2006 04:12 PM | Link to this

LOL PD

Fyre..I mean, you feel me! I love learning and listening and because I do, I have become a great observer. There is no way I would take any of these comments/stories from dudes on here “as is”. All I do is try to decipher out the BS/Lies/Drama/Bragging that is typically said. I think it’s freakin hilarious when we (not me) start to get spiritual with it, then talk about smashing in the same sentence….this is really entertaining!

By Kym

May 4, 2006 04:17 PM | Link to this

Alright I want some of this, and the ladies will hate me but who cares, you dont know me and I dont know you. DB is right. Women we become bitter because of the men who have come before and we develop a shell to protect us from the next man, because we say I am never going to let someone do that to me again, and then the next guy comes along and he does something equally as horrible and we say screw this, and say that’s ok the next one wont get me, and the cycle continues and the shell grows until finally we are completely covered and railing agains the evil that men do! I know this because I have a shell that is huge, to protect me from liars, deadbeats and idiots. Men you do it too. The girl who was so fine, broke your heart, bump that. The chick who you were will to go all the way to the altar with turn out to sleep with everything that wasnt nailed down. Screw her, and the cycle goes on for you to. The difference is learning to come out of the shell. I am sorry but I am not going to sing the I dont need a man song today. Jill Scott has a song The Fact Is (I Need You)(track 4 on Beautiful Human) and it is a constant reminder to me that I can do a whole bunch for myself but honey a car cant stroke my hair or rub my back and my bed can be as big as all out door, but it is small when you are in it alone. Now the mudsling can begin.

By HeavenScentFlower

May 4, 2006 04:19 PM | Link to this

Thanks Running i’ve really enjoyed blogging today, my friends are here actually they’ve been here for a while waiting on me to finish but also enjoying reading this blog. We’re going somewhere for happy hour so my girl India can get some yakk but it was fun as usual, it feels good to be out of lurkeville i should’ve joined in a long time ago. Until tomorrow bloggers - Adios

By rayne

May 4, 2006 04:19 PM | Link to this

Wow…I’ve missed a lot! ALL I HAVE TO SAY is for all of the wimmim worried about where all the men/boys are…stop trying to get him to fit YOUR picture…check him out. Just cause he ain’t drivin a Lexus, doesn’t mean he is without bucks. I’ve found the guys driving the 10 yr old car have more cash than stash. They are making INVESTMENTS to settle them LATER. AND God forbid don’t expect some man to TAKE CARE of you! Get a degree, get a job, buy a home, some stock, some investments, SOMETHING besides a Louis Vuitton. WHo cares what the girl next door has…she is probl’y paying 23% on the VISA for that bag! I’d rather have bank than trying to keep up with some chick that’s not gonna be able to buy an umbrella when the rain comes.

All I’m sayin’ is, quit waiting for HIM and go make a name for YOU!

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 04:20 PM | Link to this

@Divine1 See you stated it with Ease. SO WHY IS IT SO DAMNED HARD to get others to understand the importance of communication, & things like affection, & respect? I miss the days where you saw how Ms. Josephine was raising her grandson & hoped that you met a man just like him when you grew up. Because you knew he knew how to treat a real lady.

By gavi1126

May 4, 2006 04:23 PM | Link to this

@ MusingL - Thanks..as long i cup my pimp cup full of that S*&%.. i’m cool.. lol..and nope no Divine1 here.. He’s out in the rain, jumping around, waving to ppl..i think i c him..

@ RunninA - Dope, i got caught..just when i was in tha Alicia Keys zone.. u hatin big time now.

By MusingLee

May 4, 2006 04:25 PM | Link to this

Using hydralic lift as I take the Man Podium and holding a glass of Amaretto

“I took this podium to say something profound, something that would shake the very core of the blog…But, to my surprise as I stare out into the sea of bloggers sipping Amaretto All I see are faces of the people on Peachtree Street…Faces that are wondering where the hell did I get this cool azz podium….That is All”

Lowering hydralic lift…Opps, almost spilled my drink

By Dushawn

May 4, 2006 04:26 PM | Link to this

@Fyrestarter a few days ago, in this blog, some brotha said something very insightful that applies to your last comment: “Whose to blame at the kill, the predator or the prey”. It’s not my fault if a female is weak and unknowledgeable. When I’m finished with her, those adjectives will no longer apply.

By gavi1126

May 4, 2006 04:27 PM | Link to this

@ Rell - yes, puhhleezz go back to that vodka and drink for us, atleast Me..since i can’t get my drink on till tommorow..

By db

May 4, 2006 04:27 PM | Link to this

fyre: it’s all love; but didn’t I just explain the difference between opinionated and bitter? There’s no double standard. Let’s see… you can have an opinion without putting all men in the same category. That would be bitter… If you read the previous posts, you will see things like, “I don’t date young guys because they are blah blah blah”. “Where are all the good men out there, blah blah blah.”

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 04:33 PM | Link to this

@Kym I don’t think that anyone on here is saying they DON’T need a man sweetheart. What we are saying is why settle for sch*tt when you can get shine. ( AND NO I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT MATERIALISTIC THINGS)

@Rayne, Sweetie the point that you are missing is that we are the ones who already HAVE all of those things that you listed & now we are trying to figure out how these men can talk about what we don’t have or what we won’t do when all we have been trying to get them to see is that is SIMPLY NOT THE CASE. WE are also trying to get them to comprehend that we have worked very hard to get to this point on our lives & to expect us to just settle for anything that becomes available because the pickings are slim IS NOT going to happen. I like the Rusty Fence analogy. H3ll some of us are willing to help repair that fence. Again it takes TIME & EFFORT. I think false perception plays into our relationships so much that we can never see the forrest for the damned trees.

By divine1

May 4, 2006 04:33 PM | Link to this

@Kym - I’m right there with you, honey. I was thinking of Jill when I wrote my 3:56 post.

By gavi1126

May 4, 2006 04:36 PM | Link to this

@ MusingL Hai M - i like that T - shirt of u’rs that says - “i’m crazy.. but cool” while i’m also waving at u down from peachtree Ohh no no..be careful, RunninA is next..don’t get his outfit stained

By Jazzyone

May 4, 2006 04:36 PM | Link to this

You know what some of us are single by choice. Single does not equate to lonely. I enjoy dating and don’t find that there is a man shortage or anything of the sort. I think there are plenty of good men out here and enjoying dating them. Im not hatin’ but someof us do it differently and don’t have them dayum hangups that most do..

By MusingLee

May 4, 2006 04:39 PM | Link to this

People, I am going to close down the Man Podium and get it to the house…Fellas I’ll bring it back in the Morn’in…

To everyone looking for that love connection, keep your eyes open and primed for opportunity…You never know when the person on the elevator may be the one for you. Just take each day as it comes.

Later peeps… said as I wheel the Phantom Coupe out with the Man Podium in tow behind…

By divine1

May 4, 2006 04:41 PM | Link to this

@Gavi - Now it’s my turn to correct you… LOL - I ain’t got no ding-a-ling, I don’t know how to fly, and I prefer to be referred to as a full-fledged Goddess - Not a Demi-God. LOL.

@Fyre - I’m still waiting for answers to my question - but I guess everybody is so caught up in the heat of the debate, they don’t want find a solution. Unfortunately, we all can’t have make-up sex after this battle. LOL

By db

May 4, 2006 04:43 PM | Link to this

and I’m gone! Alright Alright!!

By Kym

May 4, 2006 04:44 PM | Link to this

@divine1 girl I love that whole album.

@Fyre I understand not settling for any old thing. No one said you had to. An my comments address not just men but women too. Men can say I dont need no chick. But they are just as vulnerable as we are and everyone wants to feel need and I think that is DB and running’s point. A man dont care how much stuff you have or what you can do for him they want to feel needed and if we are singing the kiss my tush punk song I got this song then they are going to go into the little bat cave under the man podium and play old Isley Brothers tunes, and pout.

By rayne

May 4, 2006 04:47 PM | Link to this

Fyre well, then sit back honey and keep doing your thing…I promise HE will come! :) I think you have soemthing with the forest and trees perception

By runninatl

May 4, 2006 04:47 PM | Link to this

gavi My bad but you know you can’t even sing in the shower….lol. Yes, please don’t stain the outfit, the rain is bad enough.

Since Musing put the podium up for the rain, we can all be cool again now.

Page Don’t cry too hard tonight when Kobe busts that azz!! I’ll go easy on you tomorrow since you sensitive. Is your phone still blowin up?…LOL.

By Jessica

May 4, 2006 04:51 PM | Link to this

I just wanted to say that I am 23 years old and have dated guys my age and have dated older men. I tend to find that because i have always been told I act way more mature than my age that its very common for me to be hit on by older men or for me to be attracted to them. I also would like to mention that just because they are older doesnt mean they act more together than men my age. I tend to find that in some aspects they are men and they all act the same. Some just know how to act better at first then the younger ones. I will say though that i will keep dating older men as long as i can.

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 04:52 PM | Link to this

@Kym that last part of your comment has me ROTFLMAO!! But for the most part a vulnerable man is an OXYMORON lol Hence the use of words like Smash, screw, hit (h3ll they all sounds like terms used to describe demolition to me!LOL)

By runninatl

May 4, 2006 04:53 PM | Link to this

@divine1 Trust me, I listen and take notes. You can learn a lot from different view points. I appreciate what you have shared as much as everyone else on the blog. Plus, Like PD357 said, it’s fun to debate too. I don’t have an answer yet but I’ll marinate on it.

Kym That was funny as hell, I’ll go hide under the podium now since I don’t want my feelings hurt, not afraid to admit it…lol.

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 04:54 PM | Link to this

@runnin yes I suppose the podiums can be put up for the day.

I am already home(I work from my home office) so I am telling everyone heading home that it is getting ready to storm to be careful going home. SMOOCHES!!!

By runninatl

May 4, 2006 04:56 PM | Link to this

I’m out and I love women!!

By FyreStarrter™

May 4, 2006 04:59 PM | Link to this

@Divine1 Gyrl I can attest to listening & hearing but I honestly think that this is something that has takens decades to head in this direction & it may take Millenia to take it back lol! I just wish I had an answer. I will do as my counterpart runnin suggest & marinate on it for a bit.

By divine1

May 4, 2006 05:00 PM | Link to this

@Fyre - I used to think a Vulnerable Man was an Oxymoron or better yet a mythical creature that one never can find, but truthfully men (gasp) have feelings too. Trust me it took me awhile to believe that one - but they do.