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AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2006 > May > 16 > Entry
9 to 5 — time for romance?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I’m not a Rules girl. In fact, there aren’t many rules I follow in my dating life.
But there’s one that I’ve generally stuck to pretty hard and fast: Don’t date a coworker.
Now, my main reasoning for this is that it’s, frankly, boring. I spend 40 (or 50) hours a week talking about journalism, thinking about journalism, breathing journalism. I’ve only dated a fellow journalist once, and while it was OK — he didn’t work for the same publication I did, and at least it did give us plenty to talk about — I prefer to go in a whole different direction. I may not know that much about a doctor, but, hey, I watch “House,” we can get by! And, hopefully, he’d teach me something interesting I didn’t already know, whether it’s about anatomy or, well, anatomy (sorry, couldn’t resist.)
Plus, of course, there are some more logistical reasons why dating someone you work with may not be a good idea. If the relationship goes sour, you still have to deal with him or her. And in this age of litigious sexual harassment claims, you can’t be too careful — or too nervous about what a spurned ex might do.
However, there’s something to be said for the fact that your workplace is probably the biggest pool of eligible partners that you come across. If you rule out coworkers, are you blocking out 40 hours a week in which you could be finding your perfect partner?
Coworkers tend to have something in common with you, in terms of both interest (hey, you did choose the same field) and lifestyle (you’re both employed, presumably make comparable salaries, presumably live in the same general area, presumably work somewhat similar hours.)
Many people manage to blend business/personal relationships successfully. Heck, my dad has been married to a coworker for more than 10 years. In the journalism world, you’ll see many, many couples where both husband and wife (or wife and wife, or husband and husband) work at the same newspaper.
What are your thoughts about dating someone you work with? Can it work, or is it too dangerous? Have you ever had success or failure in this arena?
What if it’s not someone in the same office, but someone with whom you just have a business relationship? (Example: You do freelance and they are your client for whom you do occasional assignments, or they are an outside representative for an account you deal with.)
Permalink | Comments (288) | Post your comment | Categories: Dating
Comments
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 16, 2006 08:25 AM | Link to this
Good Morning Everyone! It’s Tuesday… Yay!
By Ivy
May 16, 2006 09:05 AM | Link to this
Morning, everyone!
I’m against dating coworkers even though I’ve never dated a coworker, but sometimes it happens for some. I guess it’s good when it’s good, and absolutely horrible when it’s bad. I’ve seen the worst of it among friends, especially if and when that person starts dating someone else either in the office or outside of it. It’s just too much. I’d like work to be work and home to be home. If you’re in a fight and you all aren’t speaking to each other for a while, everyone will know and begin asking questions or speculating, which makes the problem escalate. I think there’s plenty of eligible people out there for most so that most don’t have to date a coworker, especially one that you work with in close proximity.
By Jazzyone
May 16, 2006 09:05 AM | Link to this
Good morning everyone!. I do not date in the workplace its not my style. I keep my personal life seperate from the office. Although that irritates those that can’t seperate the two it works for me. It’s all about making money and getting the job done for me. No romance where I make that finance. Ya’ll have a great day. In lurksville.
By runninatl
May 16, 2006 09:07 AM | Link to this
Good morning people.
I see we’re bringing up old dirt today…lol. I use to be a habitual violator of the no dating co-workers rule and it got me nothing but drama and a reputation. I must admit, there is some level of excitement about dating a co-worker, sneaking around and all that but once it wears off then it’s time to face reality and the drama of ending it…lol. I’ve behaved pretty well since I’m been promoted and moved to a new office. But the temptation is even worse over here because the ratio is like 10-1 women to men and they’re on every dang floor, too much pressure. I personally don’t see how the inter office fling can work. You see each other every day and you end up emailing or text messaging all day and then see each other after work? That gets old quick.
I guess if you work in different buildings it’s slightly possible. Different floors are still a no go. I think freelance clients or outside account reps you deal with can work but that’s just too dangerous! The suga walls can’t mess with the cash flow…lol. But there are exceptions for every rule, I just haven’t found my exception yet.
Third It’s only Tuesday, no celebrating until 2:26pm on Friday!! ;-)
By DC Native
May 16, 2006 09:09 AM | Link to this
Good Morning Everyone!!
Dating at the workplace, would I do it - no. Have I done it - no. But, a couple at my job just got back from their honeymoon about 2 weeks ago, another couple is celebrating their one year wedding anniversary in July and another couple is about to have their first child. So, clearly it works for some people.
By MusingLee
May 16, 2006 09:10 AM | Link to this
Morn’in All,
This will be an interesting topic…I’ll chime in shortly.
Hey: 3rd, Page, Runnin, demi, QC, Gavi, Kym, Mista, 2, Taz, Van, and everyone else I missed..
By gavi1126
May 16, 2006 09:16 AM | Link to this
Sup MY Online FAM
Let me say it loud and clear!! PUHHLEEZZ NO DATING @ WORK! From experience it is not a good thing.. It sounds grreeat to when kissing in the elevators ; ) , droping by to get a kiss..blah blah.. But if things go bitter, u wouldn’t want to see that person again. But ofcourse u will, cause u work together. Can u even imagine, seeing that person take another chick to lunch..or whatever.. Now, dating one of u’re clients couldn’t be as bad, if he’s not u’re permanent client or something.
By JustAskin'
May 16, 2006 09:17 AM | Link to this
As my daddy says…”Don’t S**T where you eat.”
By Tray
May 16, 2006 09:18 AM | Link to this
good morning! I’d prefer not to date a co-worker, did it one time. when it was good, it was good, but when the bottom drops out, YIKES!
I think I worked out too hard at the gym last night, I can barely walk…..this getting old and in shape is for the birds!
By gavi1126
May 16, 2006 09:18 AM | Link to this
Besides, except for the guy i already dated..there’s isnt’ no fine brothas in this mug..lol..
By Pandora's Box
May 16, 2006 09:28 AM | Link to this
Good morning all! It’s good to be back on the blog. My boss is out for a couple of weeks so I’ll be on here more.
I have had a “fling” with a co-worker and it did NOT work out well AT ALL! However, I work in a very big corporate setting and wouldn’t be opposed to giving it another shot. H3ll, there are over 6000 employees here! I just wouldn’t date anyone that works in the same “area”.
By "Longtime Lurker"
May 16, 2006 09:34 AM | Link to this
Hello All,
I don’t think you should eva mix business with pleasure, because sooner or later, you will have to decide on one or the other.
In my opinion, dating someone at the place you mke your money is a dangerous mix. It may work in the beginning, but eventually, if you have a fallout with that person, then that person could cost you your job!
By runninatl
May 16, 2006 09:35 AM | Link to this
Sup Jazzy, how you livin?
Sup Musing, the plantation is hot today!…lol.
gavi Are you all bitter now because things didn’t work out with your fling and now there are no lookers in your office?…lol. Just kidding, morning.
By abc
May 16, 2006 09:35 AM | Link to this
I don’t like working with married couples either. Professionalism takes a big nosedive when some of one’s coworkers are married to each other. I would never date a coworker. I think that if coworkers cross the line and date, and eventually marry, one of them should go get another job.
By JustAskin'
May 16, 2006 09:37 AM | Link to this
once again…”don’t s**t where you eat.”
By Brenda
May 16, 2006 09:39 AM | Link to this
I work for a large company. In a matter of speaking, I am and am not dating a co-worker. He works in the field and I work in the office. We met here, but for the most part, we are able to separate our work lives and personal lives, so much, in fact, we have been together almost a year and we are incredibly happy w/each other!
Good luck to all those that are involved w/someone you work with! :)
By DasKrait2
May 16, 2006 09:40 AM | Link to this
Good Morning ALL,
I also am against dating coworkers, not to say it has not happened and worked out okay, just not a good thing to do. that ‘keep the outhouse out in the woods’ concept, already mentioned. LOL
Company I am with now actually has a policy against it. Now, you can get by under the radar, but if you eventually marry, one WILL have to leave, it has happened at least twice here since I arrived.
Which is probably a good thing, was at another company way back, everbody was related in some form, you (I) could peeve off one person and suddenly get attitude from someone who had never had it before. WHY? You(I) peeved off some relative of their’s.
By Thickness
May 16, 2006 09:40 AM | Link to this
Good Morning Everyone, I hope you all are having a terrific day.
Well I guess it’s my turn, I do not date inside the work place for fear of what this might do to the relationship. If that person and myself rarely saw one another then maybe but someone on my floor, in the building, I don’t think so!
By kevmoor
May 16, 2006 09:46 AM | Link to this
i have dated co-workers and i think it’s great, where is there a better place to meet someone than at work? i mean you spend a lot of time on the job, so you’re able to really get to know a person.It can also be exciting to flirt around with the hot new chick in the office and try and go out with her and hopefully….well you know the rest… BUT!! if it don’t work out.. Oh well it’s not like they can fire you so… just keep on doing what you where doing and move on to the next one.
By sha
May 16, 2006 09:47 AM | Link to this
To be honest ..I am guilty of such actions….We were working different shifts and departments and it works….but some of our problems can from the workplaces and other co-workers… I would not do it again…my new policy is “DONT PLAY WHERE YOU WORK”
By ShyGirl
May 16, 2006 09:52 AM | Link to this
Good morning everyone!
Date a co-worker?! Too dayum close for comfort!
By LahLah
May 16, 2006 09:53 AM | Link to this
Hi everyone! Dating co-workers can be fun! I’m not dating a co-worker but I’m dating someone who works in my building, he’s on the first floor and I’m on the 7th. We park in the same parking garage and there is a cafe right by his office so we see each other quite regularly. Now this brother is fine. I’m talking fine! He can wear the heck out of a suit. He is tall, dark and extremely good looking you know ladies, the type of dude you find yourself looking for in the daytime with your flashlight yea like that! So when I do see him, I’m completely distracted. He’s completely distracted. Its fun but its crazy, then we come back to our offices and have a lot of *text message sex! * Because we get all worked up from seeing each other. (OK I crossed the “share” line, sorry) I said all that to say that our energy for each other is ridiculous but if we ever stopped seeing each other it would be pretty awkward. Also, he works in an office full of women, so sometimes I will see him having breakfast or lunch with one of them and SOMETIMES I can’t help but feel a tad bit jealous.
By singlemom
May 16, 2006 09:54 AM | Link to this
Not only did I date a co-worker, I married him. Only to get the big divorce 5 years later…..
By ShyGirl
May 16, 2006 09:54 AM | Link to this
to make a long real short: I got to co-sign JustAskin’s 9:17 post
By LaLa
May 16, 2006 09:55 AM | Link to this
QUESTION: Off topic….for anyone who knows anything about the child support laws…I have a friend who received a letter in the mail stating that he needed to show up in court because a woman had charged him as the father of her 11 yr old daughter…..the child also had his last name…..the thing I’m curious about is how can she(the daughter) have his last name if he didn’t sign the birth certificate….I though that was the only way it could be put in the fathers name…& secondly I though the letter had to arrive by certified mail that u sign so there is no doubt about u receiving….Just found this odd….does any one know about this…
By LahLah
May 16, 2006 10:02 AM | Link to this
Hey SingleMom Girl I wasn’t going to bring up the ex-husband today but since you did, we have that in common. I dated, married, had a baby with, almost kilt and divorced a co-worker of mine. I should’ve learned my lesson from that situation.
By gavi1126
May 16, 2006 10:02 AM | Link to this
@ RunninA aka Tha Instigator # 2 - Yes..I will be honest. ( while i listen to “still” by Brian McKnight ).. But i will make it through.. and laugh at myself.
By John
May 16, 2006 10:03 AM | Link to this
I agree, no dating co-workers. Let’s just have sex, lol.
By DuShawn
May 16, 2006 10:07 AM | Link to this
Everyone knows you shouldn’t date co workers, but sometimes it’s hard to resist. Several years ago I was a budget analyst for Miami Dade County. My office was located in Government Center which is a 30 story building with thousands of employees. Almost every morning when I would walk from the parking garage to the building, I would run into this same young lady. She was pretty, dark skinned, tall and married. She was still in school. She flirted, I finessed her. I would pick her up from the library at night, take her to the condo, beat it for a while and drop her back off. She couldn’t contain her enthusiasm. She worked on a different floor and began to stop by my office to talk. Then she started bringing me blueberry muffins and “Cafe con Leche” in the mornings. I’m trying to keep it on the DL and she’s putting us on front street. The final straw was when I came in the office and she left a card and teddy bear on my desk. The female co workers in my area took notice and began to talk. I ended it immediately before it got out of hand.
By Michael
May 16, 2006 10:07 AM | Link to this
I think fishing off the company pier is a horrible idea. The main problem is everyone gossips at work so you really have to do whatever possible to keep it together. Also if he/she ever moves on to someone new, or if they are casually dating and not being totally honest, you don’t know what kind of havoc could develop. As laney said, this could turn into a potential sexual harassment fiesta, damage to personal property, career, reputation, it can go on and on. There is a guy at my job who’s got 2 women chasing him around this office, but it’s only a matter of time before it all hits the fan.
By Harold
May 16, 2006 10:09 AM | Link to this
NEVER date a coworker because somebody is sure to tell your spouse about it.
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 16, 2006 10:09 AM | Link to this
What’s up Musing and Gavi!!
Let me start off saying that I would NEVER date anyone in my office!! If I had to date anybody in my office I would commit myself to a nunnery. I don’t work with anyone attractive or interesting…. Now I had dated a coworker before in my old job and that was a HUGE mistake!! He ended up dumping me and then he became my boss… I was so upset that I have to take a week off for mental rest. It ended up being awful and I had to quit. I will never do that again!!! Good luck for people that do though…. Hey has anyone dated anyone in jail????
By Thickness
May 16, 2006 10:10 AM | Link to this
LaLa, your right the letter does have to arrive by certified mail and yes a father still has to sign a birth certificate or else he is able to ask for a blood test. Unfortunately if he has accepted responsibility for paying child support in the past the judge may put him on the bench, which means if he has not paid, he may go to jail. But if she is just blaming old dude for a child then he needs to get an attorney and request a blood test, because 11 years is a long time to wait to charge someone.
By abc
May 16, 2006 10:11 AM | Link to this
@LaLa, not only should notice have been (minimally) certified mail, typical delivery of court action such as that (read: lawsuit) is by summons delivered by the Sheriff’s office. In what court is the person to appear?
I think anyone can name their baby anything they want. If there’s been a name change, it can be discovered by comparing to original birth certificate, if not by researching court action required to change a name.
If legit, your friend should hire a lawyer right away. The court date can surely be postponed.
By Pamela
May 16, 2006 10:11 AM | Link to this
I dated a co-worker and we have been married for 18 years now.
A lot depends on the work environment and company policy. I see nothing wrong as long as both are single and neither is the other’s suprvisor.
By MusingLee
May 16, 2006 10:12 AM | Link to this
If you value your money…Then don’t date a co-worker. In the beginning you think that “love” will when out over litigation. Litigation always wins. LOL…No, I havn’t gone through it, but “I’ve been a witness” Hallelujah I’ve got to say, I can’t think of any punani worth that kind of trouble.
By Stealth Mode
May 16, 2006 10:13 AM | Link to this
My public stance is against dating coworkers and colleagues but privately I think it’s cool in certain situations if it’s done right. The problem is… that rarely happens. If you choose to go down that road, the relationship has to have full transparency or extreme discretion, and most choose the latter. A big symptom of dating coworkers is that if other people in your work environment are aware, your relationship gets magnified (fairly or unfairly) and most work daters just aren’t down for that kind of attention. And sometimes people don’t know how to conduct a relationship in a work environment, much less the outside world.
I’ve dated coworkers previously and it worked out for the most part. The best situation was when I was dating someone from my industry and we were working for different companies but on the same project and working out of the client’s office. Actually one of my colleagues tried to get us to date but we played it off like there was disinterest on our parts. We both knew if she got wind of the relationship, then drama would ensue with her interference. The relationship eventually dissolved but the working proximity was never a factor.
By "Longtime Lurker"
May 16, 2006 10:14 AM | Link to this
@LahLah She can give the child whatever last name she wants. There is no law against that, but she cannot add the father’s last name to the birth certificate, without his permission or him being there. That is Georgia law.
Second, I would advise him to get a paternity test on his own and if the child proves to be his, he should agree to an amount that he is willing to pay her per month, before child support makes him pay an amount. He should also look at filing a petition for legitimation, if the child proves to be his. This will give him joint custody and legitimize his relationship with the child.
If have not legitimized the child, Georgia does not recognize you as the father and any claims from you to to the child fall on dead ears.
In closing, if the child proves to be his, he should get a good attorney who deals with family practice and child law. If it is not his, he is off the hook.
By "Longtime Lurker"
May 16, 2006 10:16 AM | Link to this
Correction my post was directed at LaLa I did not know it was two of y’all.
By Randyt
May 16, 2006 10:17 AM | Link to this
Never Never Never a good idea to fish off of the company pier. It is the recipe for disaster if one is a supervisor, and one a subordinate. I’ve seen several careers end and some big checks written when those relationships end. Can they work, sure, but more often than not somebody gets hurt. Offices can be filled with excitement and sexually charged sometimes, and a good number of those office encounters involve people who are already committed (read MARRIED). Not a good idea.
By runninatl
May 16, 2006 10:17 AM | Link to this
gavi Dang, my bad, didn’t mean to put you on blast but you get props for keeping it real! You can do better anyway!( * as I send demigod over there to sit on your shoulder and give you pep talks*)…lol.
LaLa To answer your question, no! My youngest daughter was born at a hospital here in Atlanta but her mother and I broke up and I never signed or saw the birth certificate until I needed a copy of it to verify medical coverage for her at my job.
Dang LahLah, you really are sharing today!!…lol.
By LahLah
May 16, 2006 10:18 AM | Link to this
LOL @ Harold
By LahLah
May 16, 2006 10:19 AM | Link to this
Longtime Lurker that was LaLa that made the comment about the child. Not LahLah. But I’m sure she got it.
By "Longtime Lurker"
May 16, 2006 10:19 AM | Link to this
LaLa I guess you can tell I am multitasking today. My earlier post should have read…
@LaLaShe can give the child whatever last name she wants. There is no law against that,but she cannot add the father’s name as the father of the child to the birth certificate, without his permission or him being there. That is Georgia law.It must be left blank.
By No regrets
May 16, 2006 10:21 AM | Link to this
I had a fling with a guy that I worked with. We were in two different departments. Worked out well for a long time, even after one of us left the company. But it was workplace only. (I’m sure you get where I’m going with that one). Even though we are no longer having our fling, we are still good friends. So sometimes it can work, you just have to be in control of the whole situation.
By FamiliarFace
May 16, 2006 10:22 AM | Link to this
Good Morning All,
I come back to blog and find out my blogname has been jacked. (The Original “ShyGirl”)
On Topic: Dating and marriage at work is very common @ my current job and it doesn’t really present a major problem on most days. My Co-workers are very professional and really keep to themselves. Only a few shouting matches, door slams and resignations:)
By Kym
May 16, 2006 10:22 AM | Link to this
Good Morning All!! Today is my Monday because yesterday I spent the day getting my car repair. God it sucks!!! Okay on topic. I have dated a co-worker, well I wouldnt call it dating, we just got rid of sexually frustration together. Nothing bad ever came of it no drama. An boy there could have been huge amounts of drama. We kept it low-key never spent time together at work and eventually he left the company and then I left a year later. Would I do it now? Heck no, my job now is like a mini-city. So very hard to keep things lowkey here. Plus, there are no eligible men here. They are all old and married.
By singlemom
May 16, 2006 10:30 AM | Link to this
Regarding the child support issue - I have a friend who was married, yet separated, but was having an affair and got pregnant with the other man’s child. The husband’s name is in the childs birth certificate, because she was still legally married to hubby at the time of inception. However, in their divorce she cannot seek child support from him. The actual father of the child is not on the birth certificate.
The child was born at Grady……
By JustAskin'
May 16, 2006 10:31 AM | Link to this
Thanks Shy Girl. It may work out for the minority, but…a LARGE majority don’t want to mess with the finances. A love live is a goal mostly everyone wants, but working is a small inconvience we all have to pay to get a paycheck. I don’t know about you, but I’ll keep my small inconveince and ditch the love life any day.
By Swangirl
May 16, 2006 10:32 AM | Link to this
Well, I learned the hard way during my college/grad. school days not to date newspaper coworkers. Bad idea all around. I worked/interned at one for four years and dated two co-workers. At one point, they were actually roommates. To this day, I regret it. I was young, naive and stupid.
The strange thing is that I did manage to remain friends with one of them and my husband and I have had dinner with him and his wife. We managed to work through the bad feelings and hold onto the friendship. But that’s a rare thing.
I did end up marrying a co-worker (not a media job) but he was in his last few weeks on the job when we began dating. People suspected we had feelings for each other even before we did. I refused to even give it a thought until he was leaving.
It can just get too ugly if you’re in a fairly small office and things don’t work out.
By Blue_Kolla
May 16, 2006 10:38 AM | Link to this
Good Morning Good Peeps!! Said as I stroll in flashin’ smiles and chuckin’ deuces
Dating on the job ranks up there with dating married chicks; shyt can get real ugly real fast, and the fallout can be overwhelming. If things don’t work out fellas, unless she’s a really classy woman, make sure that the broad feels that she’s dumped you. Otherwise you may find work to be a very uncomfortable place or looking for another gig.
By Kym
May 16, 2006 10:41 AM | Link to this
@Blue why is always the women who are catching these feelings and threating to do stuff and make it ugly? Men do it too and I bet with more regularity.
By ShyGirl
May 16, 2006 10:46 AM | Link to this
@Familiar Face I didn’t mean to “jack” yur blog name. When I started blogging here, “ShyGirl” appeared available.
By No Name
May 16, 2006 10:48 AM | Link to this
I dated a coworker once. I will NEVER do this again. He was jealous of other male coworkers. We now work different departments. We are now married to other people. My spouse do not work for this company. When I was with my ex-coworker, all I did was hear about work and the people at work. With my spouse, we talk about how his day went.
By gavi1126
May 16, 2006 10:50 AM | Link to this
@ 3rd Wh - ola chick!! U should’ve called the corporate on u’re heart-breaker boss!! lol
@ RunninA - Thanks.. I know i can, i know i can, i know i can..lol.. u’re kind words are appreciated.. tell DemiG to hurry..Come on DemiG..put some “Creed” on..it smells awesome.
When we were talking about dating co-workers, i just assumed the single one :) But lookin at what everybody is saying, i guess its an open field for the married jerks/jerkettes as well. Reminds me, that i’ve been seeing this guy from work go to lunch like everyday..in a suspicious way..hmm..they both r married. His wife works with us as well.. hmm…
By QueDogTeaching
May 16, 2006 10:58 AM | Link to this
Dating in the workplace is good as long as you two are the only ones that know. The flirting is great, and the sex is off the chain. When it is in the open it is terrible because everone is in your business.
La La your boy is in deep ish. I have a homeboy right now who in the 10th grade got a girl pregnant (without knowing) she went off to boot camp, met a soldier who thought he got her pregnant and married her. 16 years later she shows up aftrer google-ing him (and going through a divorce), to say he has a child. They went to court, had a blood test, found out it was his, and the judge ordered him by georgia law to get insurance on the child immediatly. Next the woman went on to file child support and is now getting paid! Monthly! With no real visitation. Tell your boy to pay whatever lawer fees he has to, the system is screwed up.
By LaLa
May 16, 2006 10:59 AM | Link to this
When he received the letter it was the first time he heard anything about this…at this point he doesn’t even know who the woman is..the letter just gave the childs name…who is in gwinett county…He’s trying to reach someone who can give him more info…he difinley plans to get a lawyer & have a paternity test….If he is the father..will he have to pay back child support although he knew nothing about it..
Thanks for the comments
By Blue_Kolla
May 16, 2006 10:59 AM | Link to this
Dayum Kym Fall back… I can only speak on what I’ve seen and what I haven’t seen is brothers making life hard for females and starting a bunch of BS in the office. I’m sure that there are some dudes that make life hard on females that shut them down, but I believe that more than not, it’s the other way around, simply because females are the main ones running around keeping shyt going in the office.
Bottom line is that it’s bad practice, for ALL involved, if things go sour. The risks are just too great.
By DuShawn
May 16, 2006 11:01 AM | Link to this
When inter office flings go bad, they can be horrible. I experienced one that involved rape allegations, bail bondsman, district attorneys, extortion, pay offs, and secret recordings. Talk about drama. That shyt was crazy.
By Blue_Kolla
May 16, 2006 11:02 AM | Link to this
Kym? See?! gavi just co-signed my post.
By Special Circumstance
May 16, 2006 11:02 AM | Link to this
I had the “no dating a co-worker” rule. But I had no rule against “hanging out with a co-worker.” We got “attached” after about a year and started dating. But we both knew each other well enough to know that we would not cause drama for the other if it didn’t work out so we pursued it. That was 12 years ago. We have been married for 6 of those years. Know the person WELL ENOUGH to know before hand if there will be drama attached.
At the same office where my husband and I were working there was a couple who were the epitome of the no-dating rule. The girl had issues. When the couple broke up (apparently he ended it), the girl changed her appearance (started wearing makeup, dressy clothes, etc.) and started hanging around his office. She made a spectacle of herself. On the other hand, my husband and I agreed to keep our relationship a secret. No one in the office knew we were seeing each other. I left the company first. He left a year later. It wasn’t until that year he left when word got out that we were seeing each other. This was 2 years after the fact.
An in-office romance is possible if its the right two people. But those are some very low odds.
By Jackie
May 16, 2006 11:03 AM | Link to this
Good Morning All,
I guess I’m kind of in a co-worker relationship. We don’t work for the same company, but his company is our supplier and we have to keep in contact on a daily basis. We vowed to keep it confidential at first, but then a few nosy co-workers figured it out and put on the daily post. We’ve been together for almost 6 months now…things are still great. His manager & v.p. don’t know about our relationship…as this may pose a problem since his handles all of our purchases & sales and sends ms some darn good leads. My managers encourages it enthusiatically…thinking he’s going to get some great deals and hook ups. Now I kind of feel like he’s pimpin’ me for every deal we need….saying “Call your boyfriend and see what he can do for us”……..just like a n*gro always trying to get the hook up.
Office romance could work if you tread the waters carefully. But I would probably be against working in the same office……..absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Musing, I waited for your comment and as usual…..my judgement stands….You are crazy as hell!
Dushawn, Once again, great story. You almost got yourself in some sh*t, though. Was she younger? Cause, I am thinking a more mature woman would’ve have been a little more discreet.
By runninatl
May 16, 2006 11:06 AM | Link to this
LaLa Since it’s Gwinnett County then he just needs to look up the court online and go down there and talk face to face because he will get no where on the phone! If it was Fulton County then I would be able to give ol boy directions and a name to ask for…lol.
LMAO @Blue Kolla comparing dating on the job to dating married women!
gavi Now you gonna start rumors in the office, got a wanna-be Instigator in the making…lol.
By FamiliarFace
May 16, 2006 11:08 AM | Link to this
Work place romances can provide an endless amount of comedy, water cooler gossip and entertainment for co-workers and it usually ends with one or both persons leaving that job.
No Problem ShyGirl, I’m just glad i skimmed the topic before I posted under that name again.
By Kym
May 16, 2006 11:10 AM | Link to this
@LaLa Please note that GA Law has changed. When doing child support it takes into consideration the salary of both parents. I think the law will become effective in July. So for some of the dads they can re-petition the court for consideration of the child support.
By "Longtime Lurker"
May 16, 2006 11:11 AM | Link to this
@QueDogTeaching Frat, the laws have changed a bit now, so they take both incomes into consideration, but I do agree that more bruh’s need to handle their biz and also invest in attorney’s! That price you pay upfront ain’t nothing like the price you will pay in the long run, if you don’t have matlock!
By Blue_Kolla
May 16, 2006 11:11 AM | Link to this
@Special Circumstance You must be one of those classy females that I was referring to earlier.
@Jackie There are some mature women that get caught up and act up as well. I think that it’s a state of mind and not age.
By gavi1126
May 16, 2006 11:12 AM | Link to this
@ DuShawn.. -oh man.. that sounds crazy.. see, that’s another thing. u really have to be carefull, of who u date. Sounds like, u broke up with her though..and broke her heart.. she was just taking revenge!!
By Ivy
May 16, 2006 11:12 AM | Link to this
LaLa, if he’s receiving a letter saying that he should show up for court, then his initial certified letter may have already been sent. If a court order for child support was established and he stopped paying for whatever reason, the mother of the child only has to file a contempt charge, prove that she hasn’t received any support payments and they are then scheduled to have a hearing. Typically, they send a letter out asking for both parents to go to mediation before the court hearing. If those attempts at mediation have been exhausted, then the two will go before a judge and the judge will decide what should happen from there. He could have initially been paying support for the child (assuming the role of the father) and then stopped. Unfortunately, if he’s in GA, he’ll have to continue such support because he’s assumed the role as the father of this child. As far as the last name goes, either they were married and no signing of the birth certificate was/is needed (patenity is automatically assumed to be the husband’s unless otherwise indicated) or he signed the birth certificate, unless he and the mother share a common last name like Smith, Jones, Jackson, etc.
By DuShawn
May 16, 2006 11:14 AM | Link to this
@Jackie She was grown chronologically, but somewhat immature. She had been married for a while and had become bored. So our thing was exciting and new. She quickly became infatuated and obviously had little experience creeping.
By Valley Girl
May 16, 2006 11:16 AM | Link to this
Good morning all! It’s been so long (about a year)since I have posted but you all constantly bring me entertainment.
I dated a co-worker once and unfortunately he had a big mouth. I didn’t appreciate he coming back to work and telling other co-workers what we talked about. On the flip side, my best friend is not engaged to one of her co-workers. I will never do it again though.
By Ivy
May 16, 2006 11:17 AM | Link to this
Singlemom, was your friend’s baby a boy and born in January of this year??? Of course you wouldn’t name names, but I have a similar friend. Well, I’m friend’s w/ both, but the husband was subject to such rejection and it was scandalous to me, but I tried to tell him beforehand and he just assumed it would be handled, but the new little boy has his last name and he’s not the baby’s father.
By gavi1126
May 16, 2006 11:18 AM | Link to this
lol.. @ special CircumStances on how the girl tried to impress the dude.. Sadly i did something like that.. i had my friend pick me up for lunch in his G-Wagon thinking i could make him jealous.. i felt like an idiot later on.. Overall , the odds of a successful story dating at work is 10%
@ RunninA - Good..it will give these crazy folks something to do!!.. My life seems to be the subject of the day, everyday!! lame lame.. I only learned from a good pro ( ; )
By MusingLee
May 16, 2006 11:20 AM | Link to this
If you are seeing a co-worker what happens when your boss chews you out for a mistake??Then your ole boy is gonna get all humphy and stuff…Trying to ease up on your boss, then both of you will find yourself sharing unemployment. No thank you.
By Blue_Kolla
May 16, 2006 11:20 AM | Link to this
@Runnin I’m telling you, from experience and personal observation, both are recipes for disaster.
By Blue_Kolla
May 16, 2006 11:21 AM | Link to this
CORRECTION: that should’ve read “personal experience and observation”
By abc
May 16, 2006 11:22 AM | Link to this
It was announced a few weeks ago that the new child support law won’t go into effect until Jan 2007. Current law is 17-23% of gross salary for 1 child.
By Ivy
May 16, 2006 11:22 AM | Link to this
LaLa, no, he won’t have to pay back child support unless there was already a child support order established; however, he would have to immediately start paying current support for the child, should it turn out to be his. If he’s getting a lawyer, that’s a good thing and all of it will be explained to him.
Also, typically they put the plaintiff and the defendant’s name on the letter. Now, it could be a letter from the child welfare people such as, if the woman received gov’t assistance at any time for that child and she named your friend as the father, if he is the father, he’d be entitled to pay back what she got from the gov’t such as food stamps or a gov’t check, etc.
By Tina
May 16, 2006 11:22 AM | Link to this
Not if you work where I work. I am a female in an ALL male environment. Can you believe all these DUDES ARE UGLY. They range from hideous to slightly monstrisities!!!!! Ewww!!!
Okay, there is one that is young enough to be my little newphew. I’m 40. The rest are Yuck!!!
By Ivy
May 16, 2006 11:24 AM | Link to this
Kym, GA law hasn’t changed yet. The new law won’t be in effect until January 2007. The old child support percentages are still in force.
By QueDogTeaching
May 16, 2006 11:27 AM | Link to this
To me any amount of money that will come out of my pocket unexpectedly is a huge problem. Especially when the money goes to someone who is only looking for a handout. (Not the good moms, Happy belated) but the had a baby, won the 18 year payoff lottery ticket moms.
And just like special said keep your workplace romance to yourself and it can work.
By Tina
May 16, 2006 11:29 AM | Link to this
Make that “monstrosities”
By gavi1126
May 16, 2006 11:30 AM | Link to this
LOL @ MusingL - Another reason NOT to date u’re co-workers. I hate is when i get emails @ work from these ugly molester wanna bees, wanting to do lunch..uhh nooo thank u father!!
By Janae
May 16, 2006 11:31 AM | Link to this
Good Day, All.
By Janae
May 16, 2006 11:32 AM | Link to this
NO, Wouldn’t date a co-worker…Plus, at my job they are either, married or taken by the same sex.
By ShyGirl
May 16, 2006 11:33 AM | Link to this
@Tina LOL
everyone else I’m not touching the child support issue. Good luck with that … . (Been there, done that. Wrote some essays, wasn’t pretty.)
By frank
May 16, 2006 11:34 AM | Link to this
I dated 2 co-workers in the office about 20 years ago. They were enjoyable relationships. However, I would not do it now given all the prohibitions on sexual harassment. It is not worth losing your job.
By coporate_guy
May 16, 2006 11:35 AM | Link to this
I dated a co-worker who was married and she loved to have sex during our lunch breaks. We always had sex in my SUV near the gym(where we met!)so we could take showers afterward. We ended the relationship when her husband began working out at the same gym. I always find myself craving and day dreaming about taping that A@# one more time. Life was good!
By "Longtime Lurker"
May 16, 2006 11:36 AM | Link to this
My question is this… Why bruh’s still barebackin??? Man, all this ish out here and broads sleeping with errbody, dudes sleeping with errbody and you gonna risk your life with some random dude or broad…mann puleeese!
Cat’s been gettin caught up in the system for over 50 years and dudes haven’t learned yet! (Shaking my head) Ain’t no punany worth paying 18 years for!
By corporate_guy
May 16, 2006 11:40 AM | Link to this
Tina where do you work? Maybe I can help you with your problem.
By Tina
May 16, 2006 11:47 AM | Link to this
LOL!!!!
By Kym
May 16, 2006 11:48 AM | Link to this
@My mistake. Some GA laws take effect on July 1. But heads up to all those paying support. I need a sidebar with one of the sisterhood please. I am having trouble with my pair and spare. Help!!
By gavi1126
May 16, 2006 11:50 AM | Link to this
@ Corporate guy - Now i know where all that noise came from..and why from a mysterious SUV all that time, when i was on my way in the gym!!
By DuShawn
May 16, 2006 11:52 AM | Link to this
@LL Bruh, I could not agree with you more. That shyt baffles me. I was speaking with one of our younger bruhs the other day, He was telling me about the wild weekend he had and mentioned that she was so fine he had to hit her raw. I couldn’t believe his stupidity. I reprimanded him aggressively. I told him the only thing worst than AIDS is an angry baby mama that you can’t stand.
By janice
May 16, 2006 11:55 AM | Link to this
Try “monstrous”
By Ripdog
May 16, 2006 11:57 AM | Link to this
I was against it at first but I kind of fell into it. Even though I ended up marrying my co-worker, we’ve been married almost 5 years now, I still wouldn’t totally advise it. You must keep it a secret otherwise your business will be all over the workplace. Many people I worked with didn’t even know I knew my wife, more less was dating her(we sat on opposite ends of the building). If you do, use discretion and be sure that the person has character so you won’t be the victim of an ugly lawsuit if things don’t work out.
By Ms.Elusive
May 16, 2006 12:00 PM | Link to this
Afternoon ev1,
I’m going to agree with most of the posts. Dating in the workplace is generally not a good idea. I did it once. He was in a different department and different location. It was a very casual thing, but once after a dinner party, when I’d had too much to drink, I let things go too far (not all the way but pretty close). He called me a tease and then I didn’t want to be bothered anymore. It was cool until he got a promotion which moved him to my location. Then I had to deal with running into his smug a** on the regular. Not cool. That was bad enough, but then he became buds with this new guy on my account team, who then started to give me sly looks. Who knows what he told him! Some BS! But… I just had to suck it up and cont’d to give him the cold shoulder. I blamed myself. In my opinion, men sometimes escape, but if things go sour, it never works out for women. It undermines your professionalism when tongues get to wagging. It’s hard enough to move up without the added drama.
By MusingLee
May 16, 2006 12:03 PM | Link to this
This is what happens with inner office romance……First you meet, exchange numbers, go out, smash, go to work, get married, have kid, get divorced, get fired, pay child support, get screwed, kid not yours, still pay child support, die angry, no head stone, go to hell….LOL
By Thickness
May 16, 2006 12:03 PM | Link to this
Are still on the co-worker dating? If the person can’t keep it hush-hush, and you know most people can’t, then don’t date your co-worker. I happy for anybody who finds their soulmate in the workplace but eventually either party may have to get another job…to close for comfort.
When it comes to the Work Image & Money I think we act differently, not like our companion loving selves.
By Thickness
May 16, 2006 12:04 PM | Link to this
Are still on the co-worker dating? If the person can’t keep it hush-hush, and you know most people can’t, then don’t date your co-worker. I happy for anybody who finds their soulmate in the workplace but eventually either party may have to get another job…to close for comfort.
When it comes to the Work Image & Money I think we act differently, not like our companion loving selves.
By Ms.Elusive
May 16, 2006 12:05 PM | Link to this
Afternoon ev1,
I’m going to agree with most of the posts. Dating in the workplace is generally not a good idea. I did it once. He was in a different department and different location. It was a very casual thing, but once after a dinner party, when I’d had too much to drink, I let things go too far (not all the way but pretty close). He called me a tease and then I didn’t want to be bothered anymore. It was cool until he got a promotion which moved him to my location. Then I had to deal with running into his smug a** on the regular. Not cool. That was bad enough, but then he became buds with this new guy on my account team, who then started to give me sly looks. Who knows what he told him! Some BS! But… I just had to suck it up and cont’d to give him the cold shoulder. I blamed myself. In my opinion, men sometimes escape, but if things go sour, it never works out for women. It undermines your professionalism when tongues get to wagging. It’s hard enough to move up without the added drama.
By Ms.Elusive
May 16, 2006 12:05 PM | Link to this
Afternoon ev1,
I’m going to agree with most of the posts. Dating in the workplace is generally not a good idea. I did it once. He was in a different department and different location. It was a very casual thing, but once after a dinner party, when I’d had too much to drink, I let things go too far (not all the way but pretty close). He called me a tease and then I didn’t want to be bothered anymore. It was cool until he got a promotion which moved him to my location. Then I had to deal with running into his smug a** on the regular. Not cool. That was bad enough, but then he became buds with this new guy on my account team, who then started to give me sly looks. Who knows what he told him! Some BS! But… I just had to suck it up and cont’d to give him the cold shoulder. I blamed myself. In my opinion, men sometimes escape, but if things go sour, it never works out for women. It undermines your professionalism when tongues get to wagging. It’s hard enough to move up without the added drama.
By Dream
May 16, 2006 12:06 PM | Link to this
Good afternoon fellow bloggers!!
Well I have dated at the workplace before. The relationship lasted 4 long, long years. I finally walked away because he was, for a lack of a better term, a ho. He had a chick on every floor and some outside. I give him credit. He was slick with it, but when all his mess caught up with him, it made it a very unpleasent environment for me. Even though I was with him the longest, when the other women found out about me and that I was about 10 years younger than all of them, they took it out on me instead of him. I had to deal with seeing him and his other conquests everyday.
Dating at the workplace…JUST SAY NO!!!!
By Ms.Elusive
May 16, 2006 12:08 PM | Link to this
LMAO @Musing Daaaang!
By badone
May 16, 2006 12:09 PM | Link to this
well if you must date a cowkr please make sure you have all the ground rules in place yes i did it it was fun it ended and we are still friends just make sure the lady is just that a lady who is not the jealous type
By Jackie
May 16, 2006 12:09 PM | Link to this
@Kym, Yes the GA Child Support does take effect in January 2007. The House wanted it to be in by July, but the Senate amended it so now it is January. I think is so confusing….you can go online and read it…..the chart has the adjusted gross income of both parents….and stipulates issues like child tax credit, insurance,etc.
The new law is going to cause problems only for those whose spouses can afford to hire a lawyer and battle out the specfics. For those who divorced uncontested & did not hire a lawyer, you just really have to wonder is it worth the time & effort to only get a few dollars taken off. I recalculated and it only took about $40 off. Good Luck !
By Kym
May 16, 2006 12:14 PM | Link to this
@Musing I dont think it is all that bad dear. People should just proceed with caution. An if you choose to date co-worker lay the ground rules first and stick to them!
By MB
May 16, 2006 12:15 PM | Link to this
I dated a co-worker when I was in my early 20’s and he was in his mid 30’s. It worked out great for a long time. We did nothing more then say hi to each other at work and that was it. Of course every once in awhile he would walk past me and flirt or whisper something in my ear when no one was around but other then that things were great for about 6 months. Then one weekend we were out and 3 females who worked with us, saw us out. These 3 women were your typical busy body types. None of them were married and only one of them had a boyfriend and all of them had kids. Basically outside of work none of them really had a life (which is probably why they stayed in everyone elses business) They were the type that would dislike you for no reason at all it was just something they decided to do. I stayed away from them at work because in my opinion for warned is for armed and I dont do drama never have never will. At any rate they saw us out and the next week at work suddenly both he and I had people coming up to us saying things like “I didnt know you were dating….” Of course we denied it because it wasnt anyones business what we did out side of work. In a nut shell I think if both people invloved in this type of relationship learn to keep their mouth closed and dont associate much at the work place inter-office dating can work out just fine. I have not dated anyone at my work place since then but if a quality man came along and there was mutual interest I would probably do it.
By runninatl
May 16, 2006 12:16 PM | Link to this
Blue Kolla I’m just gonna have to trust your word on that one, not trying to find out myself. I have enough Karma debt to pay back as it is…lol.
LL In defense of the barebackin bruthas, I’m divorced and the second time, well I got caught up, it happens…lol.
gavi you sure you weren’t in the SUV that was bouncing up and down before you went to the gym?…lol.
By Kym
May 16, 2006 12:18 PM | Link to this
@Musing I dont think it is all that bad dear. People should just proceed with caution. An if you choose to date co-worker lay the ground rules first and stick to them!
By Kym
May 16, 2006 12:18 PM | Link to this
@Musing I dont think it is all that bad dear. People should just proceed with caution. An if you choose to date co-worker lay the ground rules first and stick to them!
By QueDogTeaching
May 16, 2006 12:22 PM | Link to this
Dog I will bump for bruh, he was 15 but she is killing him right now. The Child will turn 18 at the end of the summer, so he will have a huge “off child support” be out party.
I have also done the in the parking lot creep at work when I worked nights. We would meet in the parking garage on the next to top deck. It was extremly cool, and exciting until we found out from the on duty guards that cameras had been installed. Luckily he knew how to keep his mouth shut, but I later found out that he started trying to get with the girl. So that is another problem with work place romance. Your name gets out, and 8 hrs worth of back stabbing starts.
By gavi1126
May 16, 2006 12:22 PM | Link to this
@ Musing - Point taken @ Dream - so sorry..my experience is something similar as well. i said, he got game and i got played..lesson learned
By QueDogTeaching
May 16, 2006 12:23 PM | Link to this
Dog I will bump for bruh, he was 15 but she is killing him right now. The Child will turn 18 at the end of the summer, so he will have a huge “off child support” be out party.
I have also done the in the parking lot creep at work when I worked nights. We would meet in the parking garage on the next to top deck. It was extremly cool, and exciting until we found out from the on duty guards that cameras had been installed. Luckily he knew how to keep his mouth shut, but I later found out that he started trying to get with the girl. So that is another problem with work place romance. Your name gets out, and 8 hrs worth of back stabbing starts.
By gavi1126
May 16, 2006 12:26 PM | Link to this
@ RunninA - nope.. she was married and i’ve never been!! good try though :)
By QueDogTeaching
May 16, 2006 12:27 PM | Link to this
@ Jackie, Child support had to be established immedialty. So there is more out of his paycheck for the family plan.
Dog I will bump for bruh, he was 15 but she is killing him right now. The Child will turn 18 at the end of the summer, so he will have a huge “off child support” be out party.
I have also done the in the parking lot creep at work when I worked nights. We would meet in the parking garage on the next to top deck. It was extremly cool, and exciting until we found out from the on duty guards that cameras had been installed. Luckily he knew how to keep his mouth shut, but I later found out that he started trying to get with the girl. So that is another problem with work place romance. Your name gets out, and 8 hrs worth of back stabbing starts.
By Jackie
May 16, 2006 12:29 PM | Link to this
Is the blog going haywire again? Tech Support, where u at?
By QueDogTeaching
May 16, 2006 12:29 PM | Link to this
@ Jackie, Child support had to be established immedialty. So there is more out of his paycheck for the family plan.
Dog I will bump for bruh, he was 15 but she is killing him right now. The Child will turn 18 at the end of the summer, so he will have a huge “off child support” be out party.
I have also done the in the parking lot creep at work when I worked nights. We would meet in the parking garage on the next to top deck. It was extremly cool, and exciting until we found out from the on duty guards that cameras had been installed. Luckily he knew how to keep his mouth shut, but I later found out that he started trying to get with the girl. So that is another problem with work place romance. Your name gets out, and 8 hrs worth of back stabbing starts.
By runninatl
May 16, 2006 12:30 PM | Link to this
LMAO @Musing!
By QueDogTeaching
May 16, 2006 12:30 PM | Link to this
@ Jackie, Child support had to be established immedialty. So there is more out of his paycheck for the family plan.
Dog I will bump for bruh, he was 15 but she is killing him right now. The Child will turn 18 at the end of the summer, so he will have a huge “off child support” be out party.
I have also done the in the parking lot creep at work when I worked nights. We would meet in the parking garage on the next to top deck. It was extremly cool, and exciting until we found out from the on duty guards that cameras had been installed. Luckily he knew how to keep his mouth shut, but I later found out that he started trying to get with the girl. So that is another problem with work place romance. Your name gets out, and 8 hrs worth of back stabbing starts.
By corporate_guy
May 16, 2006 12:34 PM | Link to this
The perks to dating a co-worker could be beneficial in the short-term. I’ve never wanted to cheat on my wife, until my company hired a new HR Manager for my team. My attitude changed real fast. She was a perfect corporate freak….Always about business during work but was the true defintion of a career driven freak after work. Forget networking, just hook up with an HR rep. Keeping her sexually satisfied paid off, I was promoted three times witin a two years with monentary compensation to match. My Wife and co-workers never found out and never will.
By corporate_guy
May 16, 2006 12:35 PM | Link to this
The perks to dating a co-worker could be beneficial in the short-term. I’ve never wanted to cheat on my wife, until my company hired a new HR Manager for my team. My attitude changed real fast. She was a perfect corporate freak….Always about business during work but was the true defintion of a career driven freak after work. Forget networking, just hook up with an HR rep. Keeping her sexually satisfied paid off, I was promoted three times witin a two years with monentary compensation to match. My Wife and co-workers never found out and never will.
By Page1908
May 16, 2006 12:36 PM | Link to this
Hey Everyone!
LOL @ *Runnin going bareback…YUCK!
I’m with you LL. I had no idea dudes were still going bareback these days!! (shaking my head)
By Eric
May 16, 2006 12:37 PM | Link to this
Against dating co-workers? Hmmmmmmmmm. You’ll have to ask my wife of 4 years… she was one.
By DuShawn
May 16, 2006 12:38 PM | Link to this
I do have one successful inter office dating experience. Years ago I started a Real Estate investment/property management firm. I was in need of a receptionist. I interviewed this young lady that had recently moved to Miami and was having a rough time. She was a high school drop out with a young daughter, but surprisingly articulate and professional. I hired her, insisted she enroll in night school immediately, provided housing for she and her daughter and health insurance. Periodically over the next year or so, she would attempt to flirt with me. I made it crystal clear to her that our relationship was strictly business. Eventually, my cousin (who was also an employee) told me that he slept with her. He gave her unlimited props on her oral ability. That sparked my interest, so I gave in. My morning routine would consist of getting to the office around 10:00am, review my itinerary for the day, get served and go to breakfast. Life was good.
By ShyGirl
May 16, 2006 12:42 PM | Link to this
@Musing LMAO You crazy!
By ShyGirl
May 16, 2006 12:42 PM | Link to this
@Musing LMAO You crazy!
By MDD
May 16, 2006 12:47 PM | Link to this
I remember the first time I dated someone in the office. I was young, dumb, and unaware. I was impressed the first time this particular individual paid attention to me and I got all goose-eyed and feed into the excitement of the pursuit. Eventually we began to date and I was under the belief we were the only two that knew, was I ever naive, the whole doggone office knew!
By anonymousella
May 16, 2006 12:55 PM | Link to this
been there. done that. with two guys. at the same company. at the same time.
if it works, it works. the advantage i had is that i worked a day shift and they both worked evening shifts on different floors, in different departments, with differnt duties.
i also had the ability to make my own schedule, so when things went south with one, i just started coming in from 8:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m. instead of 10 a.m.-7 p.m. that way, i barely saw him.
By LaLa
May 16, 2006 12:56 PM | Link to this
LOL….thanks run….& u all for the comments….I will talk to him today to see what he has find out & let him know some of what u all said….Thanks again
By Jason
May 16, 2006 12:57 PM | Link to this
Date?
I married a coworker!
By MB
May 16, 2006 01:02 PM | Link to this
Just had to comment on the child support issue. I am from up North and my mom took my donor to court for child support when I was a baby. Back in the 70’s all he had to pay was 30 bucks a week and the support would go up as I got older. Well the dead beat never paid a cent of course. However here’s the kicker and kudos for my mom and other moms/dads in this situation. Because the court order had been on file since I was a child and there was nothing on record proving that the donor had ever paid one cent toward my child support my mom was still able to collect even though I was 28 when she decided to take him back to court. She didnt get allof the money becuz I was 10 yrs past age 18 but she did get about 15 grand in arrears. So to all the women and men who are dealing with dead beat parents if you have a court order in place that states the other person is to pay child support you can still get the back support or most of if even after your child is an adult. FYI even if the dead beat parent produces receipts and tries to claim they sent you money it doesnt matter if that money did not go through the court system.
By MB
May 16, 2006 01:02 PM | Link to this
Just had to comment on the child support issue. I am from up North and my mom took my donor to court for child support when I was a baby. Back in the 70’s all he had to pay was 30 bucks a week and the support would go up as I got older. Well the dead beat never paid a cent of course. However here’s the kicker and kudos for my mom and other moms/dads in this situation. Because the court order had been on file since I was a child and there was nothing on record proving that the donor had ever paid one cent toward my child support my mom was still able to collect even though I was 28 when she decided to take him back to court. She didnt get allof the money becuz I was 10 yrs past age 18 but she did get about 15 grand in arrears. So to all the women and men who are dealing with dead beat parents if you have a court order in place that states the other person is to pay child support you can still get the back support or most of if even after your child is an adult. FYI even if the dead beat parent produces receipts and tries to claim they sent you money it doesnt matter if that money did not go through the court system.
By MB
May 16, 2006 01:03 PM | Link to this
Just had to comment on the child support issue. I am from up North and my mom took my donor to court for child support when I was a baby. Back in the 70’s all he had to pay was 30 bucks a week and the support would go up as I got older. Well the dead beat never paid a cent of course. However here’s the kicker and kudos for my mom and other moms/dads in this situation. Because the court order had been on file since I was a child and there was nothing on record proving that the donor had ever paid one cent toward my child support my mom was still able to collect even though I was 28 when she decided to take him back to court. She didnt get allof the money becuz I was 10 yrs past age 18 but she did get about 15 grand in arrears. So to all the women and men who are dealing with dead beat parents if you have a court order in place that states the other person is to pay child support you can still get the back support or most of if even after your child is an adult. FYI even if the dead beat parent produces receipts and tries to claim they sent you money it doesnt matter if that money did not go through the court system.
By MB
May 16, 2006 01:03 PM | Link to this
Just had to comment on the child support issue. I am from up North and my mom took my donor to court for child support when I was a baby. Back in the 70’s all he had to pay was 30 bucks a week and the support would go up as I got older. Well the dead beat never paid a cent of course. However here’s the kicker and kudos for my mom and other moms/dads in this situation. Because the court order had been on file since I was a child and there was nothing on record proving that the donor had ever paid one cent toward my child support my mom was still able to collect even though I was 28 when she decided to take him back to court. She didnt get allof the money becuz I was 10 yrs past age 18 but she did get about 15 grand in arrears. So to all the women and men who are dealing with dead beat parents if you have a court order in place that states the other person is to pay child support you can still get the back support or most of if even after your child is an adult. FYI even if the dead beat parent produces receipts and tries to claim they sent you money it doesnt matter if that money did not go through the court system.
By MB
May 16, 2006 01:04 PM | Link to this
Just had to comment on the child support issue. I am from up North and my mom took my donor to court for child support when I was a baby. Back in the 70’s all he had to pay was 30 bucks a week and the support would go up as I got older. Well the dead beat never paid a cent of course. However here’s the kicker and kudos for my mom and other moms/dads in this situation. Because the court order had been on file since I was a child and there was nothing on record proving that the donor had ever paid one cent toward my child support my mom was still able to collect even though I was 28 when she decided to take him back to court. She didnt get allof the money becuz I was 10 yrs past age 18 but she did get about 15 grand in arrears. So to all the women and men who are dealing with dead beat parents if you have a court order in place that states the other person is to pay child support you can still get the back support or most of if even after your child is an adult. FYI even if the dead beat parent produces receipts and tries to claim they sent you money it doesnt matter if that money did not go through the court system.
By Richard
May 16, 2006 01:05 PM | Link to this
I think it can work, although it did not work for me. I dated someone who worked in a different department, and we continued to date after she left the company. But she suddenly dissappeared…the last I heard was when she called to say she was in another state.
By Jackie
May 16, 2006 01:09 PM | Link to this
@Corporate Guy, do you ever wonder if it was really worth it? I mean, your wife is probably thinking she has a trustworthy, loving, & caring husband who she never has to question…..and here you are being a whore for a promotion & money. I know you didn’t say you did it for the promotion, but that was one of your so called “perks”. Even if you never tell her, your conscience will eat at your azz every time you think about it.
By runninatl
May 16, 2006 01:09 PM | Link to this
Sup Page, you got jokes, huh? Punk!…lol.
By Page1908
May 16, 2006 01:12 PM | Link to this
LOL Runnin, hey boo:) No jokes, I just didn’t peg you as the type to go bareback. It’s all love:)
By PrivateDancer357
May 16, 2006 01:16 PM | Link to this
Afternoon Bloggers,
Subject really doesn’t apply to me, just checking in.
By Kym
May 16, 2006 01:19 PM | Link to this
* How did this topic get here* Bareback We start out good and always go back to sex. Lawd it is the spring fever.
By Molly
May 16, 2006 01:19 PM | Link to this
I dated a co-worker, and we have been married 15 great years. Of course, nobody at work knew we were dating until they read the wedding announcement in the paper. We didn’t think they should be involved in our personal lives. I think it’s all in how you handle it.
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 16, 2006 01:20 PM | Link to this
LOLOL @ Gavi’s 11:30 message… girl you are off the chain…. Somebody’s daddy…
By Ms.Elusive
May 16, 2006 01:22 PM | Link to this
I know tons of couples who say they met at work. That where you spend the bulk of your time, so it’s practically unavoidable. Most of them say they didn’t start something up until one left the company though, and I think that’s probably the best course of action. Keep it light until it’s not an issue. I don’t know how folks stay together while continuing to work together. That’s too much togetherness in my opinion… a sistah’s gotta breathe. lol
By Page1908
May 16, 2006 01:24 PM | Link to this
I 100% agree with Jackie’s 1:09 post. I think it’s really a shame that there are so many hypocrites that post on this blog, but oh well. It’s really a shame that anyone would actually condone infidelity in marriage for any reason at all. No wonder why most marriages end in divorce, especially Black marriages….ok, I am leaving that alone now. (shaking my head in disgust)
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 16, 2006 01:25 PM | Link to this
LOL @ Musing 12:00 post….. no headstone… and your buried in Lincoln Cemtary…
By JustMe
May 16, 2006 01:26 PM | Link to this
Hello all,
On topic - I have flirted, kissed and lunched with a married coworker. When his wife found out, we both denied anything was going on and for the most part, that was the truth since we never went past a hot tounge swap. Now here’s the kicker, he still wants to start it up again. After giving it some serious thought, I think I will pass. I felt guilty when I was doing it, but I did it anyway. Now that I am involved with someone else out side of my workplace, I think I will preserve the integrity of my current relationship and “JUST SAY NO!”.
On the child support issue: I too have a sperm donor for a Baby’s Daddy. This PunkB took me to court to specific visitation periods because we live in different states. I never stopped him from seeing our child, but I refused to foot the transportation costs to get them together. Long story short, the SOB won’t get a JOB, so since I obviously earn more TAXABLE income, I have to foot 50% of the cost for them to see each other, but the court does absolutely nothing when he pays little or none of his court ordered child support.
Advise your friend to consider all of his options carefully, joint custody should not be a awful as what I have endured over the past 10 years.
By Laney
May 16, 2006 01:38 PM | Link to this
hi everyone! hmm, after Grey’s Anatomy last night this topic seems exceedingly timely, since EVERYONE in that hospital seems to be dating one another.
But I digress…great comments, keep ‘em coming!
By Sissy
May 16, 2006 01:41 PM | Link to this
As I have always stated, I don’t mix my honey where I get my money. I have never dated someone from my workplace and don’t believe I ever would.
I read this blog daily and find it entertaining, however, I have never posted a comment.
By Sissy
May 16, 2006 01:42 PM | Link to this
As I have always stated, I don’t mix my honey where I get my money. I have never dated someone from my workplace and don’t believe I ever would.
I read this blog daily and find it entertaining, however, I have never posted a comment.
By "Longtime Lurker"
May 16, 2006 01:43 PM | Link to this
Man.. only at the AJC can tech support still stay employed after two years of this blog f’in up on the regular…amazing to me!
Better be glad that the staff running this blog wasn’t working for my company or me, they azz would have been gone many moons ago!
By DuShawn
May 16, 2006 01:44 PM | Link to this
just me is an example of the angry baby mama I spoke of earlier. You can feel the venom in her words.
By DuShawn
May 16, 2006 01:45 PM | Link to this
just me is an example of the angry baby mama I spoke of earlier. You can feel the venom in her words.
By Sexione
May 16, 2006 01:46 PM | Link to this
Hello all, coming out of lurksville for a minute.
I don’t do the date a co-worker thing, have in the past, no real horror stories, just older and wiser now. There is a guy at my current office who obviously liked me when he met me, we had sort of a mis-communication when he was trying to ask me out. Now he will pass by me and not speak……drama!!! And I hadn’t even put it on him, yet!!! LOL….and never will!!!
I do have a really good story, though, about the office I worked in for a couple of years recently. Our in-house attorney (married) was always a big flirt with all the women. One of the new Coordinators (also married) went thru a divorce shortly after getting there. After several company dinners and outings we noticed how cozy they had become. Well, one day ole boy’s wife showed up (they were seperated by then), grandbaby on hip, and showed out (you would’ve thought she was a sista :-)). She cursed the chick out, went back to his office and cursed him out. Then on her way out of the office, let everyone know that she knew that they were having an affair, even brought ole girl some books on infidelity (that she THREW at her!!!!). Well nobody got fired, but you better believe, the manager was P**!!! And the rest of the office had a GOOD laugh for a while!!!
By "Longtime Lurker"
May 16, 2006 01:47 PM | Link to this
@Corporate Dude Have fun now bruh, ya chick might end up doing a whammy on ya in the end…don’t sleep! What goes around comes around! You reap what you so is a mother!
By Kym
May 16, 2006 01:47 PM | Link to this
Well DuShawn u really cant blame her, some guys dont work because they know they can mooch and not have to pay support.
By FyreStarrter™
May 16, 2006 01:50 PM | Link to this
Good Afternoon everyone. Hope all Mums enjoyed their Mother’s days! I have never dated a co-worker but I did have sex with one a feww times but that was it. Would I ever date a co-worker? Only if we did NOT work in the same building & our interactions in workplace situations were truly minimal read here NON-EXISTENT! After readin that scratch that NO I would never date a co-worker the potential for too much Money affective drama is just TOO great!
Hey Page, QC, 3rd, Gavi, Runnin, Demi, Kym, DuShawn, & PD357!!!
By cletus snow
May 16, 2006 01:56 PM | Link to this
Almost always a bad idea,my son lost a really good position with a major corp because of it.8 yrs and a lot of money down the drain.
By Page1908
May 16, 2006 01:57 PM | Link to this
WOW!! This is really pathetic! All I seem to notice are comments about child support and other material things and practically nothing mentioned about the children. Women depriving their children from visitation, dudes not wanting to pay child support who only see it as a financial burden….really sad….what a shame.
By cletus snow
May 16, 2006 01:57 PM | Link to this
Almost always a bad idea,my son lost a really good position with a major corp because of it.8 yrs and a lot of money down the drain.
By "Longtime Lurker"
May 16, 2006 02:01 PM | Link to this
Another question to the women…
Why is it that “some” women want dudes to respect y’all, but y’all don’t respect other women and mess with their men???
There is a hidden rule with bruh’s that you never eva,eva,eva,eva mess with your partna’s girl,wife or even an ex-girl of your partna’s and for the most part, cat’s follow and live by that rule!
Broads on the other hand are some dirty bastids! They will mess with a married dude, the best girls man or some other random broads man…amazing!
This is why cats treat y’all like ish!
By Emmy
May 16, 2006 02:03 PM | Link to this
I recently dated a co-worker. We started hanging out as friends and soon after he asked me out on a date. I agreed, but only because I was transfering to a different department of the company in another building where I would rarely see him if I didn’t want to. After a month or two, we sat down and had the “monogamy talk.” Things were going OK but he didn’t want a “girlfriend.” To make it short, one night he kissed some girl at a bar right in front of me and a bunch of co-workers. Of course, I broke up with him. But he humiliated me in front of co-workers and everyone was gossiping about our office romance! I definately won’t make the same mistake twice!
By Emmy
May 16, 2006 02:05 PM | Link to this
I recently dated a co-worker. We started hanging out as friends and soon after he asked me out on a date. I agreed, but only because I was transfering to a different department of the company in another building where I would rarely see him if I didn’t want to. After a month or two, we sat down and had the “monogamy talk.” Things were going OK but he didn’t want a “girlfriend.” To make it short, one night he kissed some girl at a bar right in front of me and a bunch of co-workers. Of course, I broke up with him. But he humiliated me in front of co-workers and everyone was gossiping about our office romance! I definately won’t make the same mistake twice!
By Ivy
May 16, 2006 02:06 PM | Link to this
Yes, MB, that’s true. Anytime a court order for support is in affect, there’s no statute of limitation when you can go back and collect. So, all these dead-beat non-custodial parents, if you don’t pay now, eventually (and if the custodial parent chooses) you’ll still be made to pay.
By demigod33
May 16, 2006 02:06 PM | Link to this
Good Afternoon All
as rip through a box of Popeyes
It is unwise to date a co-worker’s mom! Some how she founded out, that I bang her mom in the Bellsouth parking lot, in the open. You know she called her brother to whip my A$$? Now I was just shot 2days prior. So I kindly told her brother, (with my twin .45) where your body drop is where your body lay. So I tranfer to a new job within the company and vowed never to mess with anything named co-worker.
Yeeeaaahhhaa, Now git on your knees Chicks!!
By Ivy
May 16, 2006 02:07 PM | Link to this
Yes, MB, that’s true. Anytime a court order for support is in affect, there’s no statute of limitation when you can go back and collect. So, all these dead-beat non-custodial parents, if you don’t pay now, eventually (and if the custodial parent chooses) you’ll still be made to pay.
By DuShawn
May 16, 2006 02:12 PM | Link to this
@Emmy ….”Things were going OK but he didn’t want a girlfriend” ….”Of course, I broke up with him
How could you break up with him if you were not his girlfriend? Therein lies the problem. Some of you women are a trip.
By C tha 1
May 16, 2006 02:16 PM | Link to this
I can’t say that dating a co-worker is not fun to say the least, but like all dating situations you have to be on the look out because your personal and professional reputation is on the line. To tell the truth I been trying to stop banging out the college advisor who works one floor above me. Ole girl is married, and it is just not a good look. I know I’m dead @zz wrong…she is too since she initiated the whole thing. Its funny when she tells me she is not getting any from her ole man (he must be gettin’ some where else then). She really tells me things about her life I just should not know. I knew I needed to end it when she called me about three weeks ago at 7:30 in the morning (I was still in bed)and wanted to know if she could come over for a quick appointment as she put it. I’m like d@mn, you’re horny first thing in the morning and don’t want none from your husband?! I was a little flattered, but at the same time I knew we were playing with fire. My life is complicated enough already for me to be caught in a twisted affair with a co-worker. Long story short, I’ve been off the crack for about four weeks now…I could use a fix, just not from her.
By Dream
May 16, 2006 02:25 PM | Link to this
@PAGE1908 I agree with you. The more I read the comments on this blog the more I see the infidelity and pride from the ones who have participated in/committed it. It is really sad when a person is content with being the other person in the relationship. To be proud of being second, a person must not feel that good about themselves to be with somebody single so you can be number one. And the ones that have committed it, think about how you would feel it your wife/husbands did it to you. How would you react? I’ve never been married, but I have been the other woman before, and karma has come back and bitten me in the butt because I’ve been cheated on before by the love of my life (or so I thought). So please remember in everything you do…think about how you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot, because one day it will be.
By Priscilla
May 16, 2006 02:26 PM | Link to this
I dated a co-worker and I’ve since learned that he is thinks he’s a playboy. We dated for a year and a half and we broke up and it was ugly. He got himself another girlfriend - the next day - but then I got weak and went back to him and we see each other for the occasional sex thing. He has a few cars in his drive way but lives with his parents. Which was quite the problem - a mama’s boy. That something that I usually don’t do is date a co-worker and I will never do it again - once I get out of this one - date another co-worker.
By Emmy
May 16, 2006 02:29 PM | Link to this
We were dating monogamously. But he didn’t want to feel like we had to talk on the phone every night, yada yada. It doesn’t make much sense in retrospect…
I broke up with him…aka I broke it off with him…aka we don’t hang out anymore.
If he just wanted someone to f around with, he should’ve looked outside the office. Fortunately for me, everyone else I work with is older than me and almost all of them are married, so I have no temptation to date another co-worker!
By Jackie
May 16, 2006 02:30 PM | Link to this
@DemiGod33 Dang, dude u messed with her mother and you had open bullet wounds…what kind of *ish was you on? And share the Popeye’s please! I can taste a butter biscuit w/ honey right now!
Dushawn, I thought she said he had already given her “the friend” card, too.
By Emmy
May 16, 2006 02:30 PM | Link to this
We were dating monogamously. But he didn’t want to feel like we had to talk on the phone every night, yada yada. It doesn’t make much sense in retrospect…
I broke up with him…aka I broke it off with him…aka we don’t hang out anymore.
If he just wanted someone to f around with, he should’ve looked outside the office. Fortunately for me, everyone else I work with is older than me and almost all of them are married, so I have no temptation to date another co-worker!
By FyreStarrter™
May 16, 2006 02:35 PM | Link to this
See, SOOOO very many reasons NOT to date a co-worker lol! Laney I think you need to compile all these for a book! It should be called How not to end up like Demi or “it is unwise to date a co-workers hot Mum!!” ROTFLMAO!!!
By Harold
May 16, 2006 02:35 PM | Link to this
I love office romances! Specifically I love when they end and the awkwardness and stupid little fights happen at work. These are so entertaining for everybody in the office! Keep it up, y’all! The best ones are when at least one person is married. I love that!!!!!
By Wise Diva
May 16, 2006 02:36 PM | Link to this
Hey people!
Arizona is hot, I don’t know how the natives take it!
Laney there is something forbidden and naughty about workplace romances that can create a false sense of intensity. If you take out the naughty factor, then often times the person isn’t that hot, nor worth the risk. But a quickie in the workplace bathroom sounds kinda fun.
I read an article about a company in Europe that encourages office romances, apparently it does wonders for productivity. LOL
By Ivy
May 16, 2006 02:44 PM | Link to this
Laney, I figured Grey’s Anatomy was a part of today’s entry. I was so mad at Meredit and McDreamy. I couldn’t believe it, but I knew it was about to go down the moment she ran outta the dance. Those 2 are ridiculous. Initially I was all for them, until he decided to get back with his wife.
By Ivy
May 16, 2006 02:44 PM | Link to this
Laney, I figured Grey’s Anatomy was a part of today’s entry. I was so mad at Meredit and McDreamy. I couldn’t believe it, but I knew it was about to go down the moment she ran outta the dance. Those 2 are ridiculous. Initially I was all for them, until he decided to get back with his wife.
By Ivy
May 16, 2006 02:46 PM | Link to this
Is this thing broken? I promise I only clicked post once.
By MB
May 16, 2006 02:49 PM | Link to this
Applause @ Longtime Luker on you last comment. I am a woman and I dont get it either. Why would anyone want a man/woman that belonged to someone else? I really have issues with sistas who do this especially. As black women we have enough to deal with and disrespecting eachother should be out of the questions unfortunately not everyone feels this way. I am far to afraid of karma to even think about dealing with another womans man. Whats really bad is when I do get approached by married men I tell them they are wrong and the excuse is always the same. They say, “I am not happy at home.” Well guess what your happiness or lack there of is not my problem or any other single womans problem. In addition I was always taught if things are that bad at home and they cant be worked out you leave you dont cheat. In addition you have to remember if that person does leave his/her spouse to be with you THE SAME WAY YOU GOT THAT PERSON IS USUALLY THE SAME WAY YOU LOOSE THEM. If they cheat on a spouse with you what makes you think you are so special that they wont cheat on you? KARMA IS A B**!
By gavi1126
May 16, 2006 02:50 PM | Link to this
@ 3rd Whl, FyreStr ..hai girl @ Longtime Lurkern - i would never do that.. remember, what goes around comes around. I don’t even bother if somebody even has a gf.. even that is off limits. so not all women think that way.
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 16, 2006 02:53 PM | Link to this
What’s up Fyre?? :o)
By Blue_Kolla
May 16, 2006 02:54 PM | Link to this
Here’s one for the fellas that think that they’re mackin’ some dudes wifey, girlfriend, etc. - When she comes over and throws “tongue all down ya thoat”, has she just finished mouthin her ole man’s Johnson? Just some’n for yall to think about. That’s why I don’t fugg with married chicks. LOL
Oh, and don’t cop that lame azz line about not kissin’.
By Blue_Kolla
May 16, 2006 02:55 PM | Link to this
Here’s one for the fellas that think that they’re mackin’ some dudes wifey, girlfriend, etc. - When she comes over and throws “tongue all down ya thoat”, has she just finished mouthin her ole man’s Johnson? Just some’n for yall to think about. That’s why I don’t fugg with married chicks. LOL
Oh, and don’t cop that lame azz line about not kissin’.
By Sissy
May 16, 2006 02:56 PM | Link to this
Wow, so much infedility on here. Being on the other side of the fence, my ex-husband had an affair with a co-worker and it ended both marriages. She was married as well. What is this world coming to? It seems as though some of the bloggers on here to think there is no problem with them behaving in this manner. It not only hurt me but my children as well. Maybe some of you should think about this. Thankfully my children did well through this transition, with the help of the Lord.
By DuShawn
May 16, 2006 02:57 PM | Link to this
@Dream I have slept with several wives in my day. Consequently, I’m naturally distrustful of women. In each of those instances, I didn’t approach them. They pursued me. I am neither proud nor ashamed; it’s just how it went down. I have witnessed wives ask me to turn the porn on the TV down while they called their husbands, tell him they love him and will be home soon, send him a kiss through the phone, hang up, turn to me and say “now where were we?”. I do believe in Karma and think about that a lot now that I’m married. I just make sure my wife is happy, always tired, and has plenty of shopping money. That’s all I can do.
By FyreStarrter™
May 16, 2006 02:58 PM | Link to this
Now this is interesting…The MAJORITY of the people who state that they dated a co-worker were involved in adulterous affairs. Hmm WHY is that? Anyone have any thoughts on the matter?
By FyreStarrter™
May 16, 2006 02:58 PM | Link to this
Now this is interesting…The MAJORITY of the people who state that they dated a co-worker were involved in adulterous affairs. Hmm WHY is that? Anyone have any thoughts on the matter?
By DuShawn
May 16, 2006 02:58 PM | Link to this
@Dream I have slept with several wives in my day. Consequently, I’m naturally distrustful of women. In each of those instances, I didn’t approach them. They pursued me. I am neither proud nor ashamed; it’s just how it went down. I have witnessed wives ask me to turn the porn on the TV down while they called their husbands, tell him they love him and will be home soon, send him a kiss through the phone, hang up, turn to me and say “now where were we?”. I do believe in Karma and think about that a lot now that I’m married. I just make sure my wife is happy, always tired, and has plenty of shopping money. That’s all I can do.
By "Longtime Lurker"
May 16, 2006 03:00 PM | Link to this
@MB Amen! Folks don’t realize that your fun could become your pain! At this stage in the game and in our personal lives, we have to take responsibility for our own actions!
Messing with someone’s man or woman is not cool at all and can get yo azz killed! If you don’t think it can happen to you, look at the stats and the news!
There are too many single folks out there, to mess with somebody’s sloppy seconds and subject yourself to un-needed drama.
Life is complicated enough to add fuel to the fire and making a baby out of that ish is just plain ignorant and ghetto
I swear(shaking my head again)you wonder why folks don’t respect ya!
By QueDogTeacher
May 16, 2006 03:01 PM | Link to this
@LL, Dog how many times have you messed with a girl who had a boy friend, but if you even said you had a friend she will say “I don’t want to disrespect your lady, so I can’t give you my number” Its all game and Bull-ish.
@Emmy and all women who are messing with a married man. Read Dushawn’s post @ 2:12 and be quiet.
@Page Most of the time it is not about the kids, it is about getting back at a former mate for not being with you. Most kids are fine and well taken care of and mentally stable. Then we go to court make them take the stand and get them mixed up in grown folks business. More money per month does not always mean the child has a better lifestyle. (I did say most of the time)
By Thick
May 16, 2006 03:07 PM | Link to this
I love this blogging thang, y’all make me laugh, what h€ll is going on here. We are so motivated about sex, something is missing, but I do Wise Diva’s thought about a quickie in the bathroom, does sound exciting.
LL all women are not dirty, I guess some are just plain ho’s, they don’t care and lose self respect for one reason or another!
Page you dayum right girl, I am so glad that I never took that baby mama drama route, I don’t have children but from reading these blogs my heart goes to the kids…it seems everybody to busy being angry!
By DuShawn
May 16, 2006 03:11 PM | Link to this
@Blue_Kolla It might sound lame, but it’s real talk for me. When I was still trickin I neva kissed. Kissing is for love making, not phuckin. To me, kissing is more intimate than intercourse. Females that knew me also knew not to try it. The result would be a stiff forearm to the throat. And I’m swift with it, so don’t try to sneak me.
By Emmy
May 16, 2006 03:12 PM | Link to this
Just for the record, neither of us were married.
By FyreStarrter™
May 16, 2006 03:13 PM | Link to this
@LL I think this statement needs to be addressed : “here are too many single folks out there, to mess with somebody’s sloppy seconds and subject yourself to un-needed drama.”
The whole point is that BECAUSE we are so non-committal about genuinely productive & positive relationships that we decide to involve ourselves in ones which clearly have the potential to hurt others & NO POSSIBLE future. WE figure that we can avoid real relationships & feelings of love & mutual respect if we simply bang so & so’s husband or wife & then just walk away scott free wilst THEIR marriage or relationship breaks down. To those having adulterous affairs do you REALLY think that you are NOT hurting anyone? No matter if the person approaches you or not wrong is still wrong. And pain is still pain.
By gavi1126
May 16, 2006 03:16 PM | Link to this
@ Thick.. okkkay…i’m glad..no daddy drama here..
Where is DB, DemiG, RunninA???
By Wise Diva
May 16, 2006 03:17 PM | Link to this
MB, you are SO on point. and on top of that, why is it that people try to garner “no lovin from spouse” sympathy too? I never believe it anyway, but I am like um, dude, If your wife doesn’t wanna sleep with you, why would I?
By gavi1126
May 16, 2006 03:18 PM | Link to this
@ FyreStr & LL - Wouldn’t it be a better place if everybody thought like u guys?? sure would.. but this is a start..
By "Longtime Lurker"
May 16, 2006 03:20 PM | Link to this
Dushawn I co-sign with your last post bruh!
I have messed with so many dudes wives that I can’t count em all. I even messed with a well known Atlanta Falcons wife for a year and lived off of dudes credit card and money and balled somethin serious on trips and such, but that was in my 20’s, when I was stupid!
Now, I have the same feelings as you, but I have never been married. A part of me does not trust broads either and probably never will, seen too much ish from broads that thought they had it all in a dude and still cheated.
I don’t think you can ever make a broad happy, they always gonna want more! Half the chicks I messed with, that were married, they dudes had major chips and gave them the farm and you would not believe some of the ish these broads would say to me of why they were in my bed.
I think the final straw came, when this chick I was messin with “thought” her military dude was out of town for some type of training and we hooked up and spent the evening together. I mean this dude brought this chick over here from Switzerland and gave her citizenship and a pretty good life and she was cheatin with me and did a threesome with me and my boy…bad broad that was fine as all get out!
Anyway, long story short, I brought this broad home one night and pulled into a space next to one of ole boys cars that had tinted windows. We was in an appartment complex.
This chick has a few words with me then decides to be a “head doctor” As I am looking out the passenger side drivers window every few minutes, home boy steps out the car and looks right at me. Thank god I had my gun.
I tap chick on the head and tell her that she has a visitor. Chick gets out the car and home boy whoops her azz while I am there. He kept sizing me up and I raised my gun up and drove off….that was it for me!
By Kym
May 16, 2006 03:20 PM | Link to this
Well Fyre I agree with WD. Something sexy and exciting about humping a coworker. Especially if they do all the freaky stuff u like. On the cheating thing I have slept with a few husbands myself.Two unknowingly the old (I never wear my ring stuff) and One knowingly (He was an ex-lover) Why? Because it was sex and it was good. Do I condone the behavior? Nope. Was I looking for him to take me away from everything? Nope. I just wanted the hump and bump and I felt comfortable with him. He was someone I could talk to about anything and did I mention the hump and bump was great. Did I feel bad afterwards, didnt I feel ashamed? For about five minutes. It was about the thrill for me. Would I do it again? Naw. Because the thrill is gone. Been there done that got a T-shirt.
By Kym
May 16, 2006 03:21 PM | Link to this
Oh and before anyone pulls out their you are going to die and go to hell speech. Remember I am saving seats in Row 2 Section 8 near the cooling fans.
By gavi1126
May 16, 2006 03:24 PM | Link to this
@ FyreStr & LL - Wouldn’t it be a better place if everybody thought like u guys?? sure would.. but this is a start..
By Wise Diva
May 16, 2006 03:27 PM | Link to this
LL, do you think you have emotional baggage that you need to check?
By Priscilla
May 16, 2006 03:31 PM | Link to this
Ok the picking are very, very and I mean very small here. I see no one has addressed this. He and I are both single.
By Blue_Kolla
May 16, 2006 03:35 PM | Link to this
@DuShawn Do you pimpin’. Just something to think about.
@Fyre That office creep thing is probably about attention-starved chicks that get blown out by any dude telling her that ‘she looks good in that dress today’. It’s easy to trap a cat when it’s hungry.
By Emmy
May 16, 2006 03:37 PM | Link to this
Isn’t it interesting how these guys don’t trust women who cheat, yet they are the ones committing adultery with them?
By demigod33
May 16, 2006 03:37 PM | Link to this
@jackie, I will save you some
@kym, is a superfreak. On the real it sounds like you’ve had a few heartbreaks.
@gavi, i will see you at the gym and no my car does not have any strange or special sound effect
@dushawn, y’all Miami Boyz are wild!sh!t im from Miami too! no wonder im wild as kYm
By FyreStarrter™
May 16, 2006 03:40 PM | Link to this
@Wise Diva, Sweetie I think he has more emotional baggage than the damned airlines could LOSE lol!
By "Longtime Lurker"
May 16, 2006 03:40 PM | Link to this
Diva Nah, I make sure I keep no baggage, but I learn from my mistakes! I have dealt with just about every kind of broad out there and heard just about every kind of story there is and I tell ya, it ain’t cute out there.
I am not saying all chicks gonna cheat, but I will never put 100 percent trust in any broad…eva!
I can assure any woman I deal with on a serious tip that I will be faithful, but can I truly trust that broad 100, I don’t think so.
Wise, a lot more folks that cheat than you can ever imagine and most of all for money and selfish reasons. You can give them the farm and they will still cheat (Men and Women).
Folks don’t get married for love any more, they get married for personal of financial gain!
By LahLah
May 16, 2006 03:40 PM | Link to this
Well I just came back shortly from lunch with my “in-office” romance friend. That man has it going on. He gets me all excited and I am approaching this with caution but I can’t help but endulge. as I pat myself down with a baby wipe
By FyreStarrter™
May 16, 2006 03:43 PM | Link to this
@Emmy see now that is an interesting question. To the He-man wo-man hating men out there who claim they don’t trust ANY women how do you feel justified in this hatred when you are yourself are not rolling right? Remember it TAKES TWO to tango & 3 to wreck a marriage.
By Thick
May 16, 2006 03:44 PM | Link to this
Gavi you right, this is a start, we need some unconditional love up in here today.
I am down with something exciting and maybe even something I have not done before. And I thought I had seen some things in my time, but LL I am not down with the stories you and DuShawn tell this is way too much for me, truth be told.
I guess women have to check what they are doing also. People (per sa women) get blinded and distracted by small things at times which leads us to do stupid stuff, like mess up a potentially happy home.
By Yvette
May 16, 2006 03:44 PM | Link to this
Never get your p*y and your paycheck in the same place. I live by that rule.
By Kym
May 16, 2006 03:45 PM | Link to this
Demi Dont start.. I was sitting here all peaceable like. On the real we all have had heartbreak. But that had nothing to do with what happen I like everyone else was young and wild.
By Blue_Kolla
May 16, 2006 03:49 PM | Link to this
LOL @Priscilla Some broad did that same thing last week and got blasted - talked about their dumb azz choices and then made sure that somebody commented on it. You might want to retract that because they WILL let you have it in here. This is not the sympathy blog.
By Page1908
May 16, 2006 03:50 PM | Link to this
Diva are you in Arizona now?
Ummm Que you got issues dude. The truth of the matter is that “most” children in the types of situations you mentioned are not “mentally stable and well taken care of”. As an expert in the field of Child Abuse and Neglect, I can assure you that not only is your comment wrong, but it clearly shows your level of knowledge on the subject. Like I said earlier….what a shame.
By DasKrait2
May 16, 2006 03:51 PM | Link to this
Food for thought: Are the difficulties with the ajc blogs a result of poor web-staff or crappy O/S software and crappy blog software Senior Management crammed down their throats because the price was right?
By "Longtime Lurker"
May 16, 2006 03:52 PM | Link to this
@Thick I am just giving you the real! Chicks have screwed me because I was a “Que” chicks have screwed me because I looked a certain way and chicks have screwed me because I was successful!
I have so many stories that I could write a book and I am only 34! I hate to see what the third and fourth quarter is going to be like in my life.
Chicks all all about adventure and if you can provide some excitement that they ain’t never had, them chicks all for the struggle!
I mean professional and highly educated to hood rats, they all the same!
By storm
May 16, 2006 03:53 PM | Link to this
Good afternoon, ALL* **@Kym Gotta cosign your 3:20 post. Been there, done that and could you order me a t-shirt in smedium? Would like to reserve a seat in that section of yours, as well. Not proud, don’t condone and wouldn’t do it ever again. It’s not good for all involved.
By Aggressively witty
May 16, 2006 03:53 PM | Link to this
I done had like 3 office hook ups (2 real relationships 1 smash factor number 9). None of them worked out but none of them ended with bad blood either.
That is all.
By abc
May 16, 2006 03:56 PM | Link to this
I ain’t no cheater, but I don’t trust chicks either. Then again, I don’t trust guys either… I don’t really trust anybody. Bad percentages in that.
By Wise Diva
May 16, 2006 03:59 PM | Link to this
@ Page, yes ma’am. I am going to go explore the city after this conference meeting ends, thank goodness for wi-fi!
By DuShawn
May 16, 2006 04:03 PM | Link to this
@Thick I was was under the impression that this was a forum where one could share their experiences and view points related to the topic of the day. Some of my personal experiences are gutter and explicit. Each event I have described is the honest to God truth. The purpose of my sharing these stories is to enlighten and entertain the readers of my words. Not to offend. If you feel I’m describing my past escapades too graphically, let me know and I will refrain from participating.
By Blue_Kolla
May 16, 2006 04:03 PM | Link to this
I’ve gotta partially co-sign LL’s 3:52 Post. from hood rat to high-powered executive chick, once you strip off that exterior, a who’ is a who’, just a different disquise.
Now there are some good ones out there, but dayum they’re hard to find.
By Blue_Kolla
May 16, 2006 04:04 PM | Link to this
I’ve gotta partially co-sign LL’s 3:52 Post. from hood rat to high-powered executive chick, once you strip off that exterior, a who’ is a who’, just a different disquise.
Now there are some good ones out there, but dayum they’re hard to find.
By Laney
May 16, 2006 04:04 PM | Link to this
I have just been reminded by a friend of mine that I did have a fling (for lack of a better word) with someone who I actually did work with. Oops. Sort of forgot about that, since it was several jobs ago. We managed to keep it completely secret, though: Not a soul knew!
This cheating thing is very interesting. I really didn’t see it going this direction (though, again, proves my Grey’s Anatomy parallel!)
Diva, enjoy Arizona! I had a great time last time I was down there.
By Raqi
May 16, 2006 04:05 PM | Link to this
Congratulations on your graduation WiseDiva
By Page1908
May 16, 2006 04:05 PM | Link to this
Diva mail call.
By NoStress
May 16, 2006 04:07 PM | Link to this
I’ve done the co-worker thang before, the first time shorty was too tight to just let pass because she worked with me - darn shame I had to blast shorty’s heart to pieces cause I was too caught in the game to realize that I didn’t appreciate the fact that shorty had my back in a real way and would have held me down regardless but hey you live and you learn.
But some of you cats kill me with this I don’t trust women thing cause you ran across some scandalous tricks in the past but a woman is supposed to trust you inspite of all the dirt we’ve done right? Ya’ll just smellin your upper lip wonderin when the other shoe gonna fall. If anything you should see that money, the cars, the clothes, the house and all that material crap don’t make a marriage it just means you look good being unhappy. Ya’ll scared of the game when ya’ll trynna get out and keep it on the level - I’m just laughin atcha maybe I need to start an ex playa support group.
By Blue_Kolla
May 16, 2006 04:07 PM | Link to this
@abc True that. “Trust no one, and have faith in very few.” -Ancient Chinese Proverb
By DuShawn
May 16, 2006 04:08 PM | Link to this
@LL Bruh, Do you think its a QUE thang? We can’t be the only ones this type of shyt happens too.
I want to say ROOOF to QUE DOG TEACHING
By storm
May 16, 2006 04:08 PM | Link to this
@LL You should write that book. Could prove quite therapudic, purging and you can make money to boot! You have to accept responsibility for those battle scars you have that have you gunshy about women. I could feel the same way about men if I allowed allllll the married men that approached me (OMG! Can’t count’em!) to influence how I see men. I know there are good men out there and I hope to meet one, someday.
By Thick
May 16, 2006 04:08 PM | Link to this
LL I am 34 also, but I have never allowed a dude jack me up they way I hear and often see some women get treated, it’s really sad. None of the things you mentioned have even made want to disrespected.
And I am porbably harder on women than men because I hate to see my sistahs get dogged out and I hate even more when men can validate why they call women broads and treat them like ho’s. But lately that’s all its been is some serious checking from the guys.
Diva have a good time in Arizona!!!
By Wise Diva
May 16, 2006 04:08 PM | Link to this
I don’t know LL, if you aren’t going to give it your all, what is the point? Can’t you find someone who is worth the risk? Please don’t ask me where my cynicism is, I think I left in ATL, yikes!
waving at Laney
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 16, 2006 04:14 PM | Link to this
I just want to go on the record by saying that I would never cheat on anyone. I think it’s rude and nasty. That is another reason why dating is so hard these days… You never know if the person you are going out with has a significant other at home and I don’t want to end up on the TV show Cheaters looking crazy like how they usually portray people!!
By "Longtime Lurker"
May 16, 2006 04:18 PM | Link to this
@DuShawn Yeah, its a “Q” thing! I remember after the bruh’s whooped my azz back in the day after I made it in, the broads would always want to kiss the brand and all and they definitely had that thrill seeker thing going on with me. I ain’t never used my rear view mirror since!
By Wise Diva
May 16, 2006 04:18 PM | Link to this
Thanks Raqi!!
I will try Thick! At the airport, this guy tried to flirt with me wearing a tshirt that read “I’m not the commitment type”, LOL…i was like, yea, he would be the one to approach me huh? sigh
By MB
May 16, 2006 04:20 PM | Link to this
Disclaimer: It doesnt matter if you are male or female cheating is wrong and there is absolutely no excuse for it. Well wait there is 1 excuse if you are with someone and you have absolutely NO CLUE AT ALL that they are attached you get a free pass. However once you find out they are attached it is your duty to IMMEDIATELY LEAVE THAT PERSON alone (BECAUSE THEY PUT YOUR LIFE IN DANGER AND YOU DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT! THINK ABOUT IT!) Having said that based on personal observation I have concluded that the only things an attached/involved man needs to cheat are TIME, SPACE & OPPORTUNITY. Depending on the man and his moral fiber and if those things 1 or all 3 are in his favor the possibility is there that he will cheat. Heres the kicker because men know (and hopefully by now women do to) that sex is not equated with love in their mind they dont think they did anything wrong. It appears to me that this is why when asked why did you cheat the standard male answer is usually “I dont know.” or “It was just sex it didnt mean anything.” This also seems to be why a man will openly admit he has a good woman but will still cheat on said “good woman.” On the female side of the house most women that cheat do it for a reason wheather it be a good reason or a bad reason doesnt matter (because she still cheated) but in most cases if you ask a woman why she cheated she can tell you in no uncertain terms. Heres the kicker based on what I have seen most women cheat because they are trying to get even with their men for cheating on them. Now isnt that twisted.
By FyreStarrter™
May 16, 2006 04:21 PM | Link to this
@EVERYONE I have a question. Just based on today’s blog WHY is is that men are always commenting about Women and their drama when clearly drama is an equal opportunity employer? LOL
By "Longtime Lurker"
May 16, 2006 04:21 PM | Link to this
@Diva You keep forgeting, I am not looking to link up! I am out here enjoying life and if it happens, it happens, but I ain’t just gonna let any random broad in my circle.
A chick gotta go through some things with me, to prove her standing power.
By Thick
May 16, 2006 04:23 PM | Link to this
DuShawn I am not hating on you or LL’s comments I guess it’s just that I am finding out that some females I know must not be lying about these escapades because here you both blogging the same sh*#t, I can’t believe it.
Like I told LL it is very sad that the men have a point, being in the legal field you can’t argue with facts!
LL really one day your going have to give a relationship it’s fair shot, put yourself in the vulnerable position, and take some insurance out on LOVE! It’s Real.
By gavi1126
May 16, 2006 04:28 PM | Link to this
@ Storm - yea it totally boggles me of the amount of married men hit on me..its sad. And its not even a compliment, or does nothing for me but make my opinion even more negative , suspecious about men. That’s totally messed up, cause now its hard to trust guys and tell the good ones from the bad ones apart.
@ DemiG - no gym today..i will be in that class tommorow in the evening though..
By Wise Diva
May 16, 2006 04:29 PM | Link to this
I admit, there is something about those Ques, LOL.. I was having a lot of fun at a step show back in April, brings back college memories, the ques get chicks in trouble though, you just have to stay focused around them!
By DuShawn
May 16, 2006 04:30 PM | Link to this
@Wise you bring up an interesting point. I’m very secure and trust my wife completely. One of the reasons I chose her is because of how hard it was for me to obtain her (and I have extraordinary skills and finesse with women). I figured if it took me that long, it will take the next man forever. I think all women have the potential to cheat (especially if they’re unhappy in their situation), but of all the women that I have met, she seems the least likely to do so. I’m cynical, but she was worth the risk.
By Royal Chic
May 16, 2006 04:31 PM | Link to this
Thank you NoStress….sometimes I need to hear a man speak his truth post playa days….a man that has come to realize that ish is self destructing and just decreases your chances of ever getting rid of the “emotional baggage” we all have and are still battling…..
I appreciate your honesty:)
LL, how do you expect women to believe and have faith in men…which is what you constantly preach….and not be willing to give us the same in return…..you are constantly reminding women of what we can do to improve our chances….how are you working to improve your own chances?
By "Longtime Lurker"
May 16, 2006 04:31 PM | Link to this
@storm You an Diva got it twisted! I love women to death, I just don’t trust em 100!
I have very good experiences with women daily, and the majority of my close friends are women and they know how I feel about this subject and talk to me all the time and try to hook me up with their friends.
I even took a few of my close girls on a weekend trip to Miami for some R&R.
So, don’t get it twisted I love women and respect them, but that does not mean that I am ready to marry them or put 100 percent trust in them.
By lynn
May 16, 2006 04:36 PM | Link to this
I can’t believe the men’s point of view on here. Wake up guys!! You don’t mind going fishing in the hole yet you don’t wanna store your pole in the shed? Clowns!!!
By Thick
May 16, 2006 04:37 PM | Link to this
My big sister used to date a “Q”, she told me never to date a Que and I never have. Better to play it safe, do what you know, not what everybody else is doing.
By demigod33
May 16, 2006 04:37 PM | Link to this
@kym, I will start on you tomorrow @Dushawn/ll: no you two arent the ones, Im unable to put my life stories in words. I live on the edge, so if it look like the situation that could cause death or close. Im doing it, I deny myself nothing. lol
said as hop on my ‘02 grx 750 and ride 130-140mph to LA fitness, sorry gavi, leather only. No cape’n’tight
**Night All
By Wise Diva
May 16, 2006 04:38 PM | Link to this
well that makes a boatload of sense LL.
sigh
Thank you Royal, I was wondering if I was just being jazzy @ LL, but, you said what I was thinking.
when you fall in love LL, I am going to enjoy making you eat these words, hmk?
By JerryJ
May 16, 2006 04:39 PM | Link to this
I have had some great time with my coworkers. I remember one time going into the bathroom with her and risking a perfect good job for a good time.. Lucky thing we did not get caught.
I also kicked it with a married co worker at work that persued me (we did not do the act…) What is with all these married women cheating on there husbands. These women now adays could have a GPS attached to they azz and they would still cheat. No good reason but just because they wanted too.
I have a co worker that I taped a couple of times recently that I had to let know straight there are rules to this!! I subsequently let her go for breaking the rules
Rule# 1 NO work email trail…. (it can be traced) and is most likely monitored.
Rule# 2 No lovey dovey stuff at work… no dropping by office.. no cards.. no none of that
Rule# 3 We can only go to lunch occasionally.. I dont want to draw attention to us
Rule# 4 breaking any above rule causes this work thing not to work
By Ivy
May 16, 2006 04:40 PM | Link to this
Hey, Diva!
Congrats on your graduation! I’m so proud of you! You’ve worked so long and hard and I’m sure you’re very proud, as well. See you soon! Be safe. Take care.
By "Longtime Lurker"
May 16, 2006 04:41 PM | Link to this
@Thick No, you got it twisted, I don’t have to do nothing but go to work everyday, breath and remain black!
My life works for me the way it is. I have a few chicks that I know in different states and a few here in Atlanta that I kick it with. I have been upfront with them in my feelings and they are cool with it. We travel, I travel to them or visa versa and we have a ball!
I have all the benefits daily, without the attachment, so I am good! Don’t get me wrong, they reap benefits as well and most of all I respect them, so things are good the way they are, why mess it up?
If it works for Oprah, it works for me!
By gavi1126
May 16, 2006 04:42 PM | Link to this
Byes to all.. have a good one.
By FyreStarrter™
May 16, 2006 04:42 PM | Link to this
@3rd Gyrl most of the time the people on CHEATERS ARE crazy lol.
By storm
May 16, 2006 04:43 PM | Link to this
@LL It is the trust fact to which I refer. I know you love women - you’re a QUE! To not love women and be a que would be sacreligious! @Diva Yeah, you right girl! There is somethin bout ques! A que from DC just recently taught me some new tricks! YUM!LOL!
By MB
May 16, 2006 04:43 PM | Link to this
@LL you said a woman will have to go through some things to see if she has staying power where you are involved. I am not trying to tell you what to do because you are a grown man. However just a thought hun, who are you to test anyone? In addition are you willing to (for lack of a better phrase) jump through some hoops for that special woman also? If you are the type that doesnt like to be tested why would you dare put another human being through that? Seems to me this is why there is so much drama in dating and relationships in general people are always trying to test eachother and then they complain when the person being tested fails or at least fails according to the testers standards.
By "Longtime Lurker"
May 16, 2006 04:45 PM | Link to this
Diva We ain’t gonna ever let you chicks stay focused, cause we gonna keep you on your toes!
Excitement is a mother and we always gonna give you 100! Better bring your seat belt, when you get down with us….arrrr..roof, roof….hey Omega!
By storm
May 16, 2006 04:45 PM | Link to this
@LL It is the trust fact to which I refer. I know you love women - you’re a QUE! To not love women and be a que would be sacreligious! @Diva Yeah, you right girl! There is somethin bout ques! A que from DC just recently taught me some new tricks! YUM!LOL!
By DuShawn
May 16, 2006 04:46 PM | Link to this
@ThickI can only speak for myself. Maybe LL and I have shared some similar life experiences. I couldn’t possibly care any less whether you believe what I write or not. If you knew my character, you would know that I’m not the type of person that needs to create and communicate fictional adventures strictly to gain the admiration of some anonymous names on a computer screen. Furthermore, I don’t even try to hide my identity. DuShawn is my real name and my last name is contained in my email address. Just in case any of the participants in the stories I describe happen to read about themselves, there will be no doubt who said it.
By Wise Diva
May 16, 2006 04:47 PM | Link to this
thanks DuShawn, I was hoping this was not utopia type of thinking, you confirmed it. That is sweet to hear you say it too.
By FyreStarrter™
May 16, 2006 04:48 PM | Link to this
@MB AMEN TO THAT 443 post!!
By Jo
May 16, 2006 04:50 PM | Link to this
Blue Kolla, you CRACK ME UP! Now you know how we chicks feel if some cat is kissing us and we immediately taste some other female on his tongue, oooh, NASTY! (But at least we know we’re with a dude who’s willing to “go downtown!” LOL) Dating a coworker? NEVER. I did years ago. We worked in different departments & different shifts. We met one day when I was pulling OT & filling in on his sales team & we had a date that same night. When it went belly up, it was awkward. I didn’t have to run into him a lot, give thanks, but it s—-ed when I did. Also, he had access to look at my sales figures (which, I admit were excellent) but I just hated that he was so invasive. My current guy, well, last year when we were still “just-friends-with-unacknowledges-feelings” (see yesterday’s topic) we, & my then-husband had a part-time gig together, we’re all entertainers, as a side gig & that was fine while the gig lasted. In fact, I’d originally met my boyfriend 4 years ago when I attended a show his band was playing
By Kym
May 16, 2006 04:50 PM | Link to this
LL It’s okay bruh. I dont trust men much either. So I feel ya pain. An when I tell you I have dealt with the best of the best of the best in players. Take it to the bank. But the difference between my trust and yours is that I know that not all men are Mantie wearing pimp daddy wanna be’s. Some of them are decent. So I cant say I wont fall head over heels again. Next time a dude hurts me though I might have a license to carry. I know places in GA to bury bodies that no will hear you when you scream.
By Royal Chic
May 16, 2006 04:50 PM | Link to this
WISE, hope you’re enjoying your stay in Arizona….stay cool….drinks lots of water….LL has to learn to take his own advice….his words mean nothing without application…..
By question
May 16, 2006 04:51 PM | Link to this
What is a ‘que’?
By "Longtime Lurker"
May 16, 2006 04:51 PM | Link to this
@Royal Chic I said it before, women benefit from marriage, not dudes! If a dude is struggling and meets a woman that has her ish in order, then that particular situation benefits both of the parties involved.
My life is seriously off the chain and I don’t want to compromise at the moment and most of all, I haven’t met a chick that made me want to give up half the closet and I have met many a chick!
Wise, you are hilarious…I am speechless!
By storm
May 16, 2006 04:53 PM | Link to this
@MB What you said on 4:43 post!
By Erica
May 16, 2006 04:53 PM | Link to this
Yes I’ve dated in the work place and it benifited me. I worked at a Hardware store were I’m from and that’s were I met my Fiance and we plan to be married in the fall. I’m just lucky mine worked out!
By Thick
May 16, 2006 04:54 PM | Link to this
LL you know I’m laughing at you right! This is some hillarious stuff you are saying, and true if it works for Oprah I’m sure it works for you. But don’t worry one day you will find the right woman and when you do, I hope you remember these words because no matter how hard me pretend to be Love really changes things into something worth having. I went to my aunts wedding in Montego Bay last week, she’s 51 and he’s 51 I have never seen a happier pair, and they have both been married before! Smile, life’s full of surprises.
By storm
May 16, 2006 04:54 PM | Link to this
@MB What you said on 4:43 post!
By Priscilla
May 16, 2006 04:54 PM | Link to this
MB - Amen to that….This is so true.
By JerryJ
May 16, 2006 04:56 PM | Link to this
I have had some great time with my coworkers. I remember one time going into the bathroom with her and risking a perfect good job for a good time.. Lucky thing we did not get caught.
I also kicked it with a married co worker at work that persued me (we did not do the act…) What is with all these married women cheating on there husbands. These women now adays could have a GPS attached to they azz and they would still cheat. No good reason but just because they wanted too.
I have a co worker that I taped a couple of times recently that I had to let know straight there are rules to this!! I subsequently let her go for breaking the rules
Rule# 1 NO work email trail…. (it can be traced) and is most likely monitored.
Rule# 2 No lovey dovey stuff at work… no dropping by office.. no cards.. no none of that
Rule# 3 We can only go to lunch occasionally.. I dont want to draw attention to us
Rule# 4 breaking any above rule causes this work thing not to work
By Wise Diva
May 16, 2006 04:56 PM | Link to this
aww thanks IVY!!
LOL @ storm, umm hmm, I bet he did!
I forgot to cover that in my profilers week, the frats/sororities get lumped together !
MB, welcome to the blog, I like how you write. You remind me of someone.
THANKS again! PAGE
have a great week you guys! I will try to hope in again tomorrow!
By storm
May 16, 2006 04:56 PM | Link to this
@MB What you said on 4:43 post!
By storm
May 16, 2006 04:57 PM | Link to this
@MB What you said on 4:43 post!
By storm
May 16, 2006 04:58 PM | Link to this
@MB What you said on 4:43 post!
By storm
May 16, 2006 04:58 PM | Link to this
@MB What you said on 4:43 post!
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 16, 2006 04:59 PM | Link to this
Fyre I love that show….. I can’t stop watching it!! LOL well I am off to A La Ghetto LA Fitness in Southlake…. Can’t wait till Camp Creek opens!!! Bye Yall!
By JerryJ
May 16, 2006 05:00 PM | Link to this
I have had some great time with my coworkers. I remember one time going into the bathroom with her and risking a perfect good job for a good time.. Lucky thing we did not get caught.
I also kicked it with a married co worker at work that persued me (we did not do the act…) What is with all these married women cheating on there husbands. These women now adays could have a GPS attached to they azz and they would still cheat. No good reason but just because they wanted too.
I have a co worker that I taped a couple of times recently that I had to let know straight there are rules to this!! I subsequently let her go for breaking the rules
Rule# 1 NO work email trail…. (it can be traced) and is most likely monitored.
Rule# 2 No lovey dovey stuff at work… no dropping by office.. no cards.. no none of that
Rule# 3 We can only go to lunch occasionally.. I dont want to draw attention to us
Rule# 4 breaking any above rule causes this work thing not to work
By FyreStarrter™
May 16, 2006 05:05 PM | Link to this
Ladies Ladies leave LL alone, after readin this I am not so sure that any real woman with self-esteem & self-love would want to deal with a man that thinks he is pimpin so hard that that Bishop Don Juan should bow down to him. LL not hating but if you have or perhaps have a daughter would you REALLY want her to be anywhere near a men who thinks like you do? The women who are feeding your habit need their a*******es kicked just as badly for allowing such a travesty.
By Royal Chic
May 16, 2006 05:06 PM | Link to this
LL, you have it all worked out for you….I wish you much success in your approach…..when you find love you will be singin’ an entirely different tune….
You still haven’t addressed how you can loose faith in women…but, expect women to have faith in men who feel marriage only benefits women, can’t trust a woman, put women to the test, subscribes to the notion that the numbers are in his favor (they may be, but probability and numbers have nothing to do with matters of the heart…..and men that knowingly sleep with married men….
I’m so thankful to be deeply rooted in my belief that there’s a special man that compliments me like no other because if I wasn’t I would have given up on finding him while reading the blog today…LOL??!!
By angelina
May 17, 2006 08:03 AM | Link to this
I have dated coworkers before and absolutely loved it. In fact, my last coworker that I dated has been my husband for over 5 years now. We still work at the same place together. We are a match that was made in Heaven!
By Amy
May 17, 2006 08:32 AM | Link to this
Good morning all-
I dated a co-worker, married him, and we are going on 5 years. We are stronger than ever and have a beautiful 3 year old together. Dating him was the best move ever.
Though I’m not saying I’m for dating a co-worker or against it, I was VERY lucky to have met my husband, who just happen to work at the same location I did.
By MissBlueEyes
May 17, 2006 08:47 AM | Link to this
Yeah, I am dealing with the aftermath of dating a co-worker. It sucks! We were still talking and hanging out a few weeks ago, but all of a sudden he has someone new and she comes up and sees him every day for hours at a time and it really sucks. Especially b/c he slept with me three days before he got together with her. I wish I was b*** enough to walk up and ask her if she knew that. Oh well, karma’s a b*** and he’ll get his sooner or later.
By MissBlueEyes
May 17, 2006 08:47 AM | Link to this
Yeah, I am dealing with the aftermath of dating a co-worker. It sucks! We were still talking and hanging out a few weeks ago, but all of a sudden he has someone new and she comes up and sees him every day for hours at a time and it really sucks. Especially b/c he slept with me three days before he got together with her. I wish I was b*** enough to walk up and ask her if she knew that. Oh well, karma’s a b*** and he’ll get his sooner or later.
By DasKrait2
May 17, 2006 10:34 AM | Link to this
MAY17th posters:
there is a new topic, “what’s your dating batting average?” see upper left under “recent entries”
I got here by clicking yesterday’s link and started getting ‘confused’ as I read. LOL
feel free to continue commenting on the dating coworkers concept, of course, it is just a NewDay/NewTopic.