AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2006 > May > 16 > Entry
9 to 5 — time for romance?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I’m not a Rules girl. In fact, there aren’t many rules I follow in my dating life.
But there’s one that I’ve generally stuck to pretty hard and fast: Don’t date a coworker.
Now, my main reasoning for this is that it’s, frankly, boring. I spend 40 (or 50) hours a week talking about journalism, thinking about journalism, breathing journalism. I’ve only dated a fellow journalist once, and while it was OK — he didn’t work for the same publication I did, and at least it did give us plenty to talk about — I prefer to go in a whole different direction. I may not know that much about a doctor, but, hey, I watch “House,” we can get by! And, hopefully, he’d teach me something interesting I didn’t already know, whether it’s about anatomy or, well, anatomy (sorry, couldn’t resist.)
Plus, of course, there are some more logistical reasons why dating someone you work with may not be a good idea. If the relationship goes sour, you still have to deal with him or her. And in this age of litigious sexual harassment claims, you can’t be too careful — or too nervous about what a spurned ex might do.
However, there’s something to be said for the fact that your workplace is probably the biggest pool of eligible partners that you come across. If you rule out coworkers, are you blocking out 40 hours a week in which you could be finding your perfect partner?
Coworkers tend to have something in common with you, in terms of both interest (hey, you did choose the same field) and lifestyle (you’re both employed, presumably make comparable salaries, presumably live in the same general area, presumably work somewhat similar hours.)
Many people manage to blend business/personal relationships successfully. Heck, my dad has been married to a coworker for more than 10 years. In the journalism world, you’ll see many, many couples where both husband and wife (or wife and wife, or husband and husband) work at the same newspaper.
What are your thoughts about dating someone you work with? Can it work, or is it too dangerous? Have you ever had success or failure in this arena?
What if it’s not someone in the same office, but someone with whom you just have a business relationship? (Example: You do freelance and they are your client for whom you do occasional assignments, or they are an outside representative for an account you deal with.)
Permalink | Comments (288) | Post your comment | Categories: Dating
Comments
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 16, 2006 08:25 AM | Link to this
Good Morning Everyone! It’s Tuesday… Yay!
By Ivy
May 16, 2006 09:05 AM | Link to this
Morning, everyone!
I’m against dating coworkers even though I’ve never dated a coworker, but sometimes it happens for some. I guess it’s good when it’s good, and absolutely horrible when it’s bad. I’ve seen the worst of it among friends, especially if and when that person starts dating someone else either in the office or outside of it. It’s just too much. I’d like work to be work and home to be home. If you’re in a fight and you all aren’t speaking to each other for a while, everyone will know and begin asking questions or speculating, which makes the problem escalate. I think there’s plenty of eligible people out there for most so that most don’t have to date a coworker, especially one that you work with in close proximity.
By Jazzyone
May 16, 2006 09:05 AM | Link to this
Good morning everyone!. I do not date in the workplace its not my style. I keep my personal life seperate from the office. Although that irritates those that can’t seperate the two it works for me. It’s all about making money and getting the job done for me. No romance where I make that finance. Ya’ll have a great day. In lurksville.
By runninatl
May 16, 2006 09:07 AM | Link to this
Good morning people.
I see we’re bringing up old dirt today…lol. I use to be a habitual violator of the no dating co-workers rule and it got me nothing but drama and a reputation. I must admit, there is some level of excitement about dating a co-worker, sneaking around and all that but once it wears off then it’s time to face reality and the drama of ending it…lol. I’ve behaved pretty well since I’m been promoted and moved to a new office. But the temptation is even worse over here because the ratio is like 10-1 women to men and they’re on every dang floor, too much pressure. I personally don’t see how the inter office fling can work. You see each other every day and you end up emailing or text messaging all day and then see each other after work? That gets old quick.
I guess if you work in different buildings it’s slightly possible. Different floors are still a no go. I think freelance clients or outside account reps you deal with can work but that’s just too dangerous! The suga walls can’t mess with the cash flow…lol. But there are exceptions for every rule, I just haven’t found my exception yet.
Third It’s only Tuesday, no celebrating until 2:26pm on Friday!! ;-)
By DC Native
May 16, 2006 09:09 AM | Link to this
Good Morning Everyone!!
Dating at the workplace, would I do it - no. Have I done it - no. But, a couple at my job just got back from their honeymoon about 2 weeks ago, another couple is celebrating their one year wedding anniversary in July and another couple is about to have their first child. So, clearly it works for some people.
By MusingLee
May 16, 2006 09:10 AM | Link to this
Morn’in All,
This will be an interesting topic…I’ll chime in shortly.
Hey: 3rd, Page, Runnin, demi, QC, Gavi, Kym, Mista, 2, Taz, Van, and everyone else I missed..
By gavi1126
May 16, 2006 09:16 AM | Link to this
Sup MY Online FAM
Let me say it loud and clear!! PUHHLEEZZ NO DATING @ WORK! From experience it is not a good thing.. It sounds grreeat to when kissing in the elevators ; ) , droping by to get a kiss..blah blah.. But if things go bitter, u wouldn’t want to see that person again. But ofcourse u will, cause u work together. Can u even imagine, seeing that person take another chick to lunch..or whatever.. Now, dating one of u’re clients couldn’t be as bad, if he’s not u’re permanent client or something.
By JustAskin'
May 16, 2006 09:17 AM | Link to this
As my daddy says…”Don’t S**T where you eat.”
By Tray
May 16, 2006 09:18 AM | Link to this
good morning! I’d prefer not to date a co-worker, did it one time. when it was good, it was good, but when the bottom drops out, YIKES!
I think I worked out too hard at the gym last night, I can barely walk…..this getting old and in shape is for the birds!
By gavi1126
May 16, 2006 09:18 AM | Link to this
Besides, except for the guy i already dated..there’s isnt’ no fine brothas in this mug..lol..
By Pandora's Box
May 16, 2006 09:28 AM | Link to this
Good morning all! It’s good to be back on the blog. My boss is out for a couple of weeks so I’ll be on here more.
I have had a “fling” with a co-worker and it did NOT work out well AT ALL! However, I work in a very big corporate setting and wouldn’t be opposed to giving it another shot. H3ll, there are over 6000 employees here! I just wouldn’t date anyone that works in the same “area”.
By "Longtime Lurker"
May 16, 2006 09:34 AM | Link to this
Hello All,
I don’t think you should eva mix business with pleasure, because sooner or later, you will have to decide on one or the other.
In my opinion, dating someone at the place you mke your money is a dangerous mix. It may work in the beginning, but eventually, if you have a fallout with that person, then that person could cost you your job!
By runninatl
May 16, 2006 09:35 AM | Link to this
Sup Jazzy, how you livin?
Sup Musing, the plantation is hot today!…lol.
gavi Are you all bitter now because things didn’t work out with your fling and now there are no lookers in your office?…lol. Just kidding, morning.
By abc
May 16, 2006 09:35 AM | Link to this
I don’t like working with married couples either. Professionalism takes a big nosedive when some of one’s coworkers are married to each other. I would never date a coworker. I think that if coworkers cross the line and date, and eventually marry, one of them should go get another job.
By JustAskin'
May 16, 2006 09:37 AM | Link to this
once again…”don’t s**t where you eat.”
By Brenda
May 16, 2006 09:39 AM | Link to this
I work for a large company. In a matter of speaking, I am and am not dating a co-worker. He works in the field and I work in the office. We met here, but for the most part, we are able to separate our work lives and personal lives, so much, in fact, we have been together almost a year and we are incredibly happy w/each other!
Good luck to all those that are involved w/someone you work with! :)
By DasKrait2
May 16, 2006 09:40 AM | Link to this
Good Morning ALL,
I also am against dating coworkers, not to say it has not happened and worked out okay, just not a good thing to do. that ‘keep the outhouse out in the woods’ concept, already mentioned. LOL
Company I am with now actually has a policy against it. Now, you can get by under the radar, but if you eventually marry, one WILL have to leave, it has happened at least twice here since I arrived.
Which is probably a good thing, was at another company way back, everbody was related in some form, you (I) could peeve off one person and suddenly get attitude from someone who had never had it before. WHY? You(I) peeved off some relative of their’s.
By Thickness
May 16, 2006 09:40 AM | Link to this
Good Morning Everyone, I hope you all are having a terrific day.
Well I guess it’s my turn, I do not date inside the work place for fear of what this might do to the relationship. If that person and myself rarely saw one another then maybe but someone on my floor, in the building, I don’t think so!
By kevmoor
May 16, 2006 09:46 AM | Link to this
i have dated co-workers and i think it’s great, where is there a better place to meet someone than at work? i mean you spend a lot of time on the job, so you’re able to really get to know a person.It can also be exciting to flirt around with the hot new chick in the office and try and go out with her and hopefully….well you know the rest… BUT!! if it don’t work out.. Oh well it’s not like they can fire you so… just keep on doing what you where doing and move on to the next one.
By sha
May 16, 2006 09:47 AM | Link to this
To be honest ..I am guilty of such actions….We were working different shifts and departments and it works….but some of our problems can from the workplaces and other co-workers… I would not do it again…my new policy is “DONT PLAY WHERE YOU WORK”
By ShyGirl
May 16, 2006 09:52 AM | Link to this
Good morning everyone!
Date a co-worker?! Too dayum close for comfort!
By LahLah
May 16, 2006 09:53 AM | Link to this
Hi everyone! Dating co-workers can be fun! I’m not dating a co-worker but I’m dating someone who works in my building, he’s on the first floor and I’m on the 7th. We park in the same parking garage and there is a cafe right by his office so we see each other quite regularly. Now this brother is fine. I’m talking fine! He can wear the heck out of a suit. He is tall, dark and extremely good looking you know ladies, the type of dude you find yourself looking for in the daytime with your flashlight yea like that! So when I do see him, I’m completely distracted. He’s completely distracted. Its fun but its crazy, then we come back to our offices and have a lot of *text message sex! * Because we get all worked up from seeing each other. (OK I crossed the “share” line, sorry) I said all that to say that our energy for each other is ridiculous but if we ever stopped seeing each other it would be pretty awkward. Also, he works in an office full of women, so sometimes I will see him having breakfast or lunch with one of them and SOMETIMES I can’t help but feel a tad bit jealous.
By singlemom
May 16, 2006 09:54 AM | Link to this
Not only did I date a co-worker, I married him. Only to get the big divorce 5 years later…..
By ShyGirl
May 16, 2006 09:54 AM | Link to this
to make a long real short: I got to co-sign JustAskin’s 9:17 post
By LaLa
May 16, 2006 09:55 AM | Link to this
QUESTION: Off topic….for anyone who knows anything about the child support laws…I have a friend who received a letter in the mail stating that he needed to show up in court because a woman had charged him as the father of her 11 yr old daughter…..the child also had his last name…..the thing I’m curious about is how can she(the daughter) have his last name if he didn’t sign the birth certificate….I though that was the only way it could be put in the fathers name…& secondly I though the letter had to arrive by certified mail that u sign so there is no doubt about u receiving….Just found this odd….does any one know about this…
By LahLah
May 16, 2006 10:02 AM | Link to this
Hey SingleMom Girl I wasn’t going to bring up the ex-husband today but since you did, we have that in common. I dated, married, had a baby with, almost kilt and divorced a co-worker of mine. I should’ve learned my lesson from that situation.
By gavi1126
May 16, 2006 10:02 AM | Link to this
@ RunninA aka Tha Instigator # 2 - Yes..I will be honest. ( while i listen to “still” by Brian McKnight ).. But i will make it through.. and laugh at myself.
By John
May 16, 2006 10:03 AM | Link to this
I agree, no dating co-workers. Let’s just have sex, lol.
By DuShawn
May 16, 2006 10:07 AM | Link to this
Everyone knows you shouldn’t date co workers, but sometimes it’s hard to resist. Several years ago I was a budget analyst for Miami Dade County. My office was located in Government Center which is a 30 story building with thousands of employees. Almost every morning when I would walk from the parking garage to the building, I would run into this same young lady. She was pretty, dark skinned, tall and married. She was still in school. She flirted, I finessed her. I would pick her up from the library at night, take her to the condo, beat it for a while and drop her back off. She couldn’t contain her enthusiasm. She worked on a different floor and began to stop by my office to talk. Then she started bringing me blueberry muffins and “Cafe con Leche” in the mornings. I’m trying to keep it on the DL and she’s putting us on front street. The final straw was when I came in the office and she left a card and teddy bear on my desk. The female co workers in my area took notice and began to talk. I ended it immediately before it got out of hand.
By Michael
May 16, 2006 10:07 AM | Link to this
I think fishing off the company pier is a horrible idea. The main problem is everyone gossips at work so you really have to do whatever possible to keep it together. Also if he/she ever moves on to someone new, or if they are casually dating and not being totally honest, you don’t know what kind of havoc could develop. As laney said, this could turn into a potential sexual harassment fiesta, damage to personal property, career, reputation, it can go on and on. There is a guy at my job who’s got 2 women chasing him around this office, but it’s only a matter of time before it all hits the fan.
By Harold
May 16, 2006 10:09 AM | Link to this
NEVER date a coworker because somebody is sure to tell your spouse about it.
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 16, 2006 10:09 AM | Link to this
What’s up Musing and Gavi!!
Let me start off saying that I would NEVER date anyone in my office!! If I had to date anybody in my office I would commit myself to a nunnery. I don’t work with anyone attractive or interesting…. Now I had dated a coworker before in my old job and that was a HUGE mistake!! He ended up dumping me and then he became my boss… I was so upset that I have to take a week off for mental rest. It ended up being awful and I had to quit. I will never do that again!!! Good luck for people that do though…. Hey has anyone dated anyone in jail????
By Thickness
May 16, 2006 10:10 AM | Link to this
LaLa, your right the letter does have to arrive by certified mail and yes a father still has to sign a birth certificate or else he is able to ask for a blood test. Unfortunately if he has accepted responsibility for paying child support in the past the judge may put him on the bench, which means if he has not paid, he may go to jail. But if she is just blaming old dude for a child then he needs to get an attorney and request a blood test, because 11 years is a long time to wait to charge someone.
By abc
May 16, 2006 10:11 AM | Link to this
@LaLa, not only should notice have been (minimally) certified mail, typical delivery of court action such as that (read: lawsuit) is by summons delivered by the Sheriff’s office. In what court is the person to appear?
I think anyone can name their baby anything they want. If there’s been a name change, it can be discovered by comparing to original birth certificate, if not by researching court action required to change a name.
If legit, your friend should hire a lawyer right away. The court date can surely be postponed.
By Pamela
May 16, 2006 10:11 AM | Link to this
I dated a co-worker and we have been married for 18 years now.
A lot depends on the work environment and company policy. I see nothing wrong as long as both are single and neither is the other’s suprvisor.
By MusingLee
May 16, 2006 10:12 AM | Link to this
If you value your money…Then don’t date a co-worker. In the beginning you think that “love” will when out over litigation. Litigation always wins. LOL…No, I havn’t gone through it, but “I’ve been a witness” Hallelujah I’ve got to say, I can’t think of any punani worth that kind of trouble.
By Stealth Mode
May 16, 2006 10:13 AM | Link to this
My public stance is against dating coworkers and colleagues but privately I think it’s cool in certain situations if it’s done right. The problem is… that rarely happens. If you choose to go down that road, the relationship has to have full transparency or extreme discretion, and most choose the latter. A big symptom of dating coworkers is that if other people in your work environment are aware, your relationship gets magnified (fairly or unfairly) and most work daters just aren’t down for that kind of attention. And sometimes people don’t know how to conduct a relationship in a work environment, much less the outside world.
I’ve dated coworkers previously and it worked out for the most part. The best situation was when I was dating someone from my industry and we were working for different companies but on the same project and working out of the client’s office. Actually one of my colleagues tried to get us to date but we played it off like there was disinterest on our parts. We both knew if she got wind of the relationship, then drama would ensue with her interference. The relationship eventually dissolved but the working proximity was never a factor.
By "Longtime Lurker"
May 16, 2006 10:14 AM | Link to this
@LahLah She can give the child whatever last name she wants. There is no law against that, but she cannot add the father’s last name to the birth certificate, without his permission or him being there. That is Georgia law.
Second, I would advise him to get a paternity test on his own and if the child proves to be his, he should agree to an amount that he is willing to pay her per month, before child support makes him pay an amount. He should also look at filing a petition for legitimation, if the child proves to be his. This will give him joint custody and legitimize his relationship with the child.
If have not legitimized the child, Georgia does not recognize you as the father and any claims from you to to the child fall on dead ears.
In closing, if the child proves to be his, he should get a good attorney who deals with family practice and child law. If it is not his, he is off the hook.
By "Longtime Lurker"
May 16, 2006 10:16 AM | Link to this
Correction my post was directed at LaLa I did not know it was two of y’all.
By Randyt
May 16, 2006 10:17 AM | Link to this
Never Never Never a good idea to fish off of the company pier. It is the recipe for disaster if one is a supervisor, and one a subordinate. I’ve seen several careers end and some big checks written when those relationships end. Can they work, sure, but more often than not somebody gets hurt. Offices can be filled with excitement and sexually charged sometimes, and a good number of those office encounters involve people who are already committed (read MARRIED). Not a good idea.
By runninatl
May 16, 2006 10:17 AM | Link to this
gavi Dang, my bad, didn’t mean to put you on blast but you get props for keeping it real! You can do better anyway!( * as I send demigod over there to sit on your shoulder and give you pep talks*)…lol.
LaLa To answer your question, no! My youngest daughter was born at a hospital here in Atlanta but her mother and I broke up and I never signed or saw the birth certificate until I needed a copy of it to verify medical coverage for her at my job.
Dang LahLah, you really are sharing today!!…lol.
By LahLah
May 16, 2006 10:18 AM | Link to this
LOL @ Harold
By LahLah
May 16, 2006 10:19 AM | Link to this
Longtime Lurker that was LaLa that made the comment about the child. Not LahLah. But I’m sure she got it.
By "Longtime Lurker"
May 16, 2006 10:19 AM | Link to this
LaLa I guess you can tell I am multitasking today. My earlier post should have read…
@LaLaShe can give the child whatever last name she wants. There is no law against that,but she cannot add the father’s name as the father of the child to the birth certificate, without his permission or him being there. That is Georgia law.It must be left blank.
By No regrets
May 16, 2006 10:21 AM | Link to this
I had a fling with a guy that I worked with. We were in two different departments. Worked out well for a long time, even after one of us left the company. But it was workplace only. (I’m sure you get where I’m going with that one). Even though we are no longer having our fling, we are still good friends. So sometimes it can work, you just have to be in control of the whole situation.
By FamiliarFace
May 16, 2006 10:22 AM | Link to this
Good Morning All,
I come back to blog and find out my blogname has been jacked. (The Original “ShyGirl”)
On Topic: Dating and marriage at work is very common @ my current job and it doesn’t really present a major problem on most days. My Co-workers are very professional and really keep to themselves. Only a few shouting matches, door slams and resignations:)
By Kym
May 16, 2006 10:22 AM | Link to this
Good Morning All!! Today is my Monday because yesterday I spent the day getting my car repair. God it sucks!!! Okay on topic. I have dated a co-worker, well I wouldnt call it dating, we just got rid of sexually frustration together. Nothing bad ever came of it no drama. An boy there could have been huge amounts of drama. We kept it low-key never spent time together at work and eventually he left the company and then I left a year later. Would I do it now? Heck no, my job now is like a mini-city. So very hard to keep things lowkey here. Plus, there are no eligible men here. They are all old and married.
By singlemom
May 16, 2006 10:30 AM | Link to this
Regarding the child support issue - I have a friend who was married, yet separated, but was having an affair and got pregnant with the other man’s child. The husband’s name is in the childs birth certificate, because she was still legally married to hubby at the time of inception. However, in their divorce she cannot seek child support from him. The actual father of the child is not on the birth certificate.
The child was born at Grady……
By JustAskin'
May 16, 2006 10:31 AM | Link to this
Thanks Shy Girl. It may work out for the minority, but…a LARGE majority don’t want to mess with the finances. A love live is a goal mostly everyone wants, but working is a small inconvience we all have to pay to get a paycheck. I don’t know about you, but I’ll keep my small inconveince and ditch the love life any day.
By Swangirl
May 16, 2006 10:32 AM | Link to this
Well, I learned the hard way during my college/grad. school days not to date newspaper coworkers. Bad idea all around. I worked/interned at one for four years and dated two co-workers. At one point, they were actually roommates. To this day, I regret it. I was young, naive and stupid.
The strange thing is that I did manage to remain friends with one of them and my husband and I have had dinner with him and his wife. We managed to work through the bad feelings and hold onto the friendship. But that’s a rare thing.
I did end up marrying a co-worker (not a media job) but he was in his last few weeks on the job when we began dating. People suspected we had feelings for each other even before we did. I refused to even give it a thought until he was leaving.
It can just get too ugly if you’re in a fairly small office and things don’t work out.
By Blue_Kolla
May 16, 2006 10:38 AM | Link to this
Good Morning Good Peeps!! Said as I stroll in flashin’ smiles and chuckin’ deuces
Dating on the job ranks up there with dating married chicks; shyt can get real ugly real fast, and the fallout can be overwhelming. If things don’t work out fellas, unless she’s a really classy woman, make sure that the broad feels that she’s dumped you. Otherwise you may find work to be a very uncomfortable place or looking for another gig.
By Kym
May 16, 2006 10:41 AM | Link to this
@Blue why is always the women who are catching these feelings and threating to do stuff and make it ugly? Men do it too and I bet with more regularity.
By ShyGirl
May 16, 2006 10:46 AM | Link to this
@Familiar Face I didn’t mean to “jack” yur blog name. When I started blogging here, “ShyGirl” appeared available.
By No Name
May 16, 2006 10:48 AM | Link to this
I dated a coworker once. I will NEVER do this again. He was jealous of other male coworkers. We now work different departments. We are now married to other people. My spouse do not work for this company. When I was with my ex-coworker, all I did was hear about work and the people at work. With my spouse, we talk about how his day went.
By gavi1126
May 16, 2006 10:50 AM | Link to this
@ 3rd Wh - ola chick!! U should’ve called the corporate on u’re heart-breaker boss!! lol
@ RunninA - Thanks.. I know i can, i know i can, i know i can..lol.. u’re kind words are appreciated.. tell DemiG to hurry..Come on DemiG..put some “Creed” on..it smells awesome.
When we were talking about dating co-workers, i just assumed the single one :) But lookin at what everybody is saying, i guess its an open field for the married jerks/jerkettes as well. Reminds me, that i’ve been seeing this guy from work go to lunch like everyday..in a suspicious way..hmm..they both r married. His wife works with us as well.. hmm…
By QueDogTeaching
May 16, 2006 10:58 AM | Link to this
Dating in the workplace is good as long as you two are the only ones that know. The flirting is great, and the sex is off the chain. When it is in the open it is terrible because everone is in your business.
La La your boy is in deep ish. I have a homeboy right now who in the 10th grade got a girl pregnant (without knowing) she went off to boot camp, met a soldier who thought he got her pregnant and married her. 16 years later she shows up aftrer google-ing him (and going through a divorce), to say he has a child. They went to court, had a blood test, found out it was his, and the judge ordered him by georgia law to get insurance on the child immediatly. Next the woman went on to file child support and is now getting paid! Monthly! With no real visitation. Tell your boy to pay whatever lawer fees he has to, the system is screwed up.
By LaLa
May 16, 2006 10:59 AM | Link to this
When he received the letter it was the first time he heard anything about this…at this point he doesn’t even know who the woman is..the letter just gave the childs name…who is in gwinett county…He’s trying to reach someone who can give him more info…he difinley plans to get a lawyer & have a paternity test….If he is the father..will he have to pay back child support although he knew nothing about it..
Thanks for the comments
By Blue_Kolla
May 16, 2006 10:59 AM | Link to this
Dayum Kym Fall back… I can only speak on what I’ve seen and what I haven’t seen is brothers making life hard for females and starting a bunch of BS in the office. I’m sure that there are some dudes that make life hard on females that shut them down, but I believe that more than not, it’s the other way around, simply because females are the main ones running around keeping shyt going in the office.
Bottom line is that it’s bad practice, for ALL involved, if things go sour. The risks are just too great.
By DuShawn
May 16, 2006 11:01 AM | Link to this
When inter office flings go bad, they can be horrible. I experienced one that involved rape allegations, bail bondsman, district attorneys, extortion, pay offs, and secret recordings. Talk about drama. That shyt was crazy.
By Blue_Kolla
May 16, 2006 11:02 AM | Link to this
Kym? See?! gavi just co-signed my post.
By Special Circumstance
May 16, 2006 11:02 AM | Link to this
I had the “no dating a co-worker” rule. But I had no rule against “hanging out with a co-worker.” We got “attached” after about a year and started dating. But we both knew each other well enough to know that we would not cause drama for the other if it didn’t work out so we pursued it. That was 12 years ago. We have been married for 6 of those years. Know the person WELL ENOUGH to know before hand if there will be drama attached.
At the same office where my husband and I were working there was a couple who were the epitome of the no-dating rule. The girl had issues. When the couple broke up (apparently he ended it), the girl changed her appearance (started wearing makeup, dressy clothes, etc.) and started hanging around his office. She made a spectacle of herself. On the other hand, my husband and I agreed to keep our relationship a secret. No one in the office knew we were seeing each other. I left the company first. He left a year later. It wasn’t until that year he left when word got out that we were seeing each other. This was 2 years after the fact.
An in-office romance is possible if its the right two people. But those are some very low odds.
By Jackie
May 16, 2006 11:03 AM | Link to this
Good Morning All,
I guess I’m kind of in a co-worker relationship. We don’t work for the same company, but his company is our supplier and we have to keep in contact on a daily basis. We vowed to keep it confidential at first, but then a few nosy co-workers figured it out and put on the daily post. We’ve been together for almost 6 months now…things are still great. His manager & v.p. don’t know about our relationship…as this may pose a problem since his handles all of our purchases & sales and sends ms some darn good leads. My managers encourages it enthusiatically…thinking he’s going to get some great deals and hook ups. Now I kind of feel like he’s pimpin’ me for every deal we need….saying “Call your boyfriend and see what he can do for us”……..just like a n*gro always trying to get the hook up.
Office romance could work if you tread the waters carefully. But I would probably be against working in the same office……..absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Musing, I waited for your comment and as usual…..my judgement stands….You are crazy as hell!
Dushawn, Once again, great story. You almost got yourself in some sh*t, though. Was she younger? Cause, I am thinking a more mature woman would’ve have been a little more discreet.
By runninatl
May 16, 2006 11:06 AM | Link to this
LaLa Since it’s Gwinnett County then he just needs to look up the court online and go down there and talk face to face because he will get no where on the phone! If it was Fulton County then I would be able to give ol boy directions and a name to ask for…lol.
LMAO @Blue Kolla comparing dating on the job to dating married women!
gavi Now you gonna start rumors in the office, got a wanna-be Instigator in the making…lol.
By FamiliarFace
May 16, 2006 11:08 AM | Link to this
Work place romances can provide an endless amount of comedy, water cooler gossip and entertainment for co-workers and it usually ends with one or both persons leaving that job.
No Problem ShyGirl, I’m just glad i skimmed the topic before I posted under that name again.
By Kym
May 16, 2006 11:10 AM | Link to this
@LaLa Please note that GA Law has changed. When doing child support it takes into consideration the salary of both parents. I think the law will become effective in July. So for some of the dads they can re-petition the court for consideration of the child support.
By "Longtime Lurker"
May 16, 2006 11:11 AM | Link to this
@QueDogTeaching Frat, the laws have changed a bit now, so they take both incomes into consideration, but I do agree that more bruh’s need to handle their biz and also invest in attorney’s! That price you pay upfront ain’t nothing like the price you will pay in the long run, if you don’t have matlock!
By Blue_Kolla
May 16, 2006 11:11 AM | Link to this
@Special Circumstance You must be one of those classy females that I was referring to earlier.
@Jackie There are some mature women that get caught up and act up as well. I think that it’s a state of mind and not age.
By gavi1126
May 16, 2006 11:12 AM | Link to this
@ DuShawn.. -oh man.. that sounds crazy.. see, that’s another thing. u really have to be carefull, of who u date. Sounds like, u broke up with her though..and broke her heart.. she was just taking revenge!!
By Ivy
May 16, 2006 11:12 AM | Link to this
LaLa, if he’s receiving a letter saying that he should show up for court, then his initial certified letter may have already been sent. If a court order for child support was established and he stopped paying for whatever reason, the mother of the child only has to file a contempt charge, prove that she hasn’t received any support payments and they are then scheduled to have a hearing. Typically, they send a letter out asking for both parents to go to mediation before the court hearing. If those attempts at mediation have been exhausted, then the two will go before a judge and the judge will decide what should happen from there. He could have initially been paying support for the child (assuming the role of the father) and then stopped. Unfortunately, if he’s in GA, he’ll have to continue such support because he’s assumed the role as the father of this child. As far as the last name goes, either they were married and no signing of the birth certificate was/is needed (patenity is automatically assumed to be the husband’s unless otherwise indicated) or he signed the birth certificate, unless he and the mother share a common last name like Smith, Jones, Jackson, etc.
By DuShawn
May 16, 2006 11:14 AM | Link to this
@Jackie She was grown chronologically, but somewhat immature. She had been married for a while and had become bored. So our thing was exciting and new. She quickly became infatuated and obviously had little experience creeping.
By Valley Girl
May 16, 2006 11:16 AM | Link to this
Good morning all! It’s been so long (about a year)since I have posted but you all constantly bring me entertainment.
I dated a co-worker once and unfortunately he had a big mouth. I didn’t appreciate he coming back to work and telling other co-workers what we talked about. On the flip side, my best friend is not engaged to one of her co-workers. I will never do it again though.
By Ivy
May 16, 2006 11:17 AM | Link to this
Singlemom, was your friend’s baby a boy and born in January of this year??? Of course you wouldn’t name names, but I have a similar friend. Well, I’m friend’s w/ both, but the husband was subject to such rejection and it was scandalous to me, but I tried to tell him beforehand and he just assumed it would be handled, but the new little boy has his last name and he’s not the baby’s father.
By gavi1126
May 16, 2006 11:18 AM | Link to this
lol.. @ special CircumStances on how the girl tried to impress the dude.. Sadly i did something like that.. i had my friend pick me up for lunch in his G-Wagon thinking i could make him jealous.. i felt like an idiot later on.. Overall , the odds of a successful story dating at work is 10%
@ RunninA - Good..it will give these crazy folks something to do!!.. My life seems to be the subject of the day, everyday!! lame lame.. I only learned from a good pro ( ; )
By MusingLee
May 16, 2006 11:20 AM | Link to this
If you are seeing a co-worker what happens when your boss chews you out for a mistake??Then your ole boy is gonna get all humphy and stuff…Trying to ease up on your boss, then both of you will find yourself sharing unemployment. No thank you.
By Blue_Kolla
May 16, 2006 11:20 AM | Link to this
@Runnin I’m telling you, from experience and personal observation, both are recipes for disaster.
By Blue_Kolla
May 16, 2006 11:21 AM | Link to this
CORRECTION: that should’ve read “personal experience and observation”
By abc
May 16, 2006 11:22 AM | Link to this
It was announced a few weeks ago that the new child support law won’t go into effect until Jan 2007. Current law is 17-23% of gross salary for 1 child.
By Ivy
May 16, 2006 11:22 AM | Link to this
LaLa, no, he won’t have to pay back child support unless there was already a child support order established; however, he would have to immediately start paying current support for the child, should it turn out to be his. If he’s getting a lawyer, that’s a good thing and all of it will be explained to him.
Also, typically they put the plaintiff and the defendant’s name on the letter. Now, it could be a letter from the child welfare people such as, if the woman received gov’t assistance at any time for that child and she named your friend as the father, if he is the father, he’d be entitled to pay back what she got from the gov’t such as food stamps or a gov’t check, etc.
By Tina
May 16, 2006 11:22 AM | Link to this
Not if you work where I work. I am a female in an ALL male environment. Can you believe all these DUDES ARE UGLY. They range from hideous to slightly monstrisities!!!!! Ewww!!!
Okay, there is one that is young enough to be my little newphew. I’m 40. The rest are Yuck!!!
By Ivy
May 16, 2006 11:24 AM | Link to this
Kym, GA law hasn’t changed yet. The new law won’t be in effect until January 2007. The old child support percentages are still in force.
By QueDogTeaching
May 16, 2006 11:27 AM | Link to this
To me any amount of money that will come out of my pocket unexpectedly is a huge problem. Especially when the money goes to someone who is only looking for a handout. (Not the good moms, Happy belated) but the had a baby, won the 18 year payoff lottery ticket moms.
And just like special said keep your workplace romance to yourself and it can work.
By Tina
May 16, 2006 11:29 AM | Link to this
Make that “monstrosities”
By gavi1126
May 16, 2006 11:30 AM | Link to this
LOL @ MusingL - Another reason NOT to date u’re co-workers. I hate is when i get emails @ work from these ugly molester wanna bees, wanting to do lunch..uhh nooo thank u father!!
By Janae
May 16, 2006 11:31 AM | Link to this
Good Day, All.
By Janae
May 16, 2006 11:32 AM | Link to this
NO, Wouldn’t date a co-worker…Plus, at my job they are either, married or taken by the same sex.
By ShyGirl
May 16, 2006 11:33 AM | Link to this
@Tina LOL
everyone else I’m not touching the child support issue. Good luck with that … . (Been there, done that. Wrote some essays, wasn’t pretty.)
By frank
May 16, 2006 11:34 AM | Link to this
I dated 2 co-workers in the office about 20 years ago. They were enjoyable relationships. However, I would not do it now given all the prohibitions on sexual harassment. It is not worth losing your job.
By coporate_guy
May 16, 2006 11:35 AM | Link to this
I dated a co-worker who was married and she loved to have sex during our lunch breaks. We always had sex in my SUV near the gym(where we met!)so we could take showers afterward. We ended the relationship when her husband began working out at the same gym. I always find myself craving and day dreaming about taping that A@# one more time. Life was good!
By "Longtime Lurker"
May 16, 2006 11:36 AM | Link to this
My question is this… Why bruh’s still barebackin??? Man, all this ish out here and broads sleeping with errbody, dudes sleeping with errbody and you gonna risk your life with some random dude or broad…mann puleeese!
Cat’s been gettin caught up in the system for over 50 years and dudes haven’t learned yet! (Shaking my head) Ain’t no punany worth paying 18 years for!
By corporate_guy
May 16, 2006 11:40 AM | Link to this
Tina where do you work? Maybe I can help you with your problem.
By Tina
May 16, 2006 11:47 AM | Link to this
LOL!!!!
By Kym
May 16, 2006 11:48 AM | Link to this
@My mistake. Some GA laws take effect on July 1. But heads up to all those paying support. I need a sidebar with one of the sisterhood please. I am having trouble with my pair and spare. Help!!
By gavi1126
May 16, 2006 11:50 AM | Link to this
@ Corporate guy - Now i know where all that noise came from..and why from a mysterious SUV all that time, when i was on my way in the gym!!
By DuShawn
May 16, 2006 11:52 AM | Link to this
@LL Bruh, I could not agree with you more. That shyt baffles me. I was speaking with one of our younger bruhs the other day, He was telling me about the wild weekend he had and mentioned that she was so fine he had to hit her raw. I couldn’t believe his stupidity. I reprimanded him aggressively. I told him the only thing worst than AIDS is an angry baby mama that you can’t stand.
By janice
May 16, 2006 11:55 AM | Link to this
Try “monstrous”
By Ripdog
May 16, 2006 11:57 AM | Link to this
I was against it at first but I kind of fell into it. Even though I ended up marrying my co-worker, we’ve been married almost 5 years now, I still wouldn’t totally advise it. You must keep it a secret otherwise your business will be all over the workplace. Many people I worked with didn’t even know I knew my wife, more less was dating her(we sat on opposite ends of the building). If you do, use discretion and be sure that the person has character so you won’t be the victim of an ugly lawsuit if things don’t work out.
By Ms.Elusive
May 16, 2006 12:00 PM | Link to this
Afternoon ev1,
I’m going to agree with most of the posts. Dating in the workplace is generally not a good idea. I did it once. He was in a different department and different location. It was a very casual thing, but once after a dinner party, when I’d had too much to drink, I let things go too far (not all the way but pretty close). He called me a tease and then I didn’t want to be bothered anymore. It was cool until he got a promotion which moved him to my location. Then I had to deal with running into his smug a** on the regular. Not cool. That was bad enough, but then he became buds with this new guy on my account team, who then started to give me sly looks. Who knows what he told him! Some BS! But… I just had to suck it up and cont’d to give him the cold shoulder. I blamed myself. In my opinion, men sometimes escape, but if things go sour, it never works out for women. It undermines your professionalism when tongues get to wagging. It’s hard enough to move up without the added drama.
By MusingLee
May 16, 2006 12:03 PM | Link to this
This is what happens with inner office romance……First you meet, exchange numbers, go out, smash, go to work, get married, have kid, get divorced, get fired, pay child support, get screwed, kid not yours, still pay child support, die angry, no head stone, go to hell….LOL
By Thickness
May 16, 2006 12:03 PM | Link to this
Are still on the co-worker dating? If the person can’t keep it hush-hush, and you know most people can’t, then don’t date your co-worker. I happy for anybody who finds their soulmate in the workplace but eventually either party may have to get another job…to close for comfort.
When it comes to the Work Image & Money I think we act differently, not like our companion loving selves.
By Thickness
May 16, 2006 12:04 PM | Link to this
Are still on the co-worker dating? If the person can’t keep it hush-hush, and you know most people can’t, then don’t date your co-worker. I happy for anybody who finds their soulmate in the workplace but eventually either party may have to get another job…to close for comfort.
When it comes to the Work Image & Money I think we act differently, not like our companion loving selves.
By Ms.Elusive
May 16, 2006 12:05 PM | Link to this
Afternoon ev1,
I’m going to agree with most of the posts. Dating in the workplace is generally not a good idea. I did it once. He was in a different department and different location. It was a very casual thing, but once after a dinner party, when I’d had too much to drink, I let things go too far (not all the way but pretty close). He called me a tease and then I didn’t want to be bothered anymore. It was cool until he got a promotion which moved him to my location. Then I had to deal with running into his smug a** on the regular. Not cool. That was bad enough, but then he became buds with this new guy on my account team, who then started to give me sly looks. Who knows what he told him! Some BS! But… I just had to suck it up and cont’d to give him the cold shoulder. I blamed myself. In my opinion, men sometimes escape, but if things go sour, it never works out for women. It undermines your professionalism when tongues get to wagging. It’s hard enough to move up without the added drama.
By Ms.Elusive
May 16, 2006 12:05 PM | Link to this
Afternoon ev1,
I’m going to agree with most of the posts. Dating in the workplace is generally not a good idea. I did it once. He was in a different department and different location. It was a very casual thing, but once after a dinner party, when I’d had too much to drink, I let things go too far (not all the way but pretty close). He called me a tease and then I didn’t want to be bothered anymore. It was cool until he got a promotion which moved him to my location. Then I had to deal with running into his smug a** on the regular. Not cool. That was bad enough, but then he became buds with this new guy on my account team, who then started to give me sly looks. Who knows what he told him! Some BS! But… I just had to suck it up and cont’d to give him the cold shoulder. I blamed myself. In my opinion, men sometimes escape, but if things go sour, it never works out for women. It undermines your professionalism when tongues get to wagging. It’s hard enough to move up without the added drama.
By Dream
May 16, 2006 12:06 PM | Link to this
Good afternoon fellow bloggers!!
Well I have dated at the workplace before. The relationship lasted 4 long, long years. I finally walked away because he was, for a lack of a better term, a ho. He had a chick on every floor and some outside. I give him credit. He was slick with it, but when all his mess caught up with him, it made it a very unpleasent environment for me. Even though I was with him the longest, when the other women found out about me and that I was about 10 years younger than all of them, they took it out on me instead of him. I had to deal with seeing him and his other conquests everyday.
Dating at the workplace…JUST SAY NO!!!!
By Ms.Elusive
May 16, 2006 12:08 PM | Link to this
LMAO @Musing Daaaang!
By badone
May 16, 2006 12:09 PM | Link to this
well if you must date a cowkr please make sure you have all the ground rules in place yes i did it it was fun it ended and we are still friends just make sure the lady is just that a lady who is not the jealous type
By Jackie
May 16, 2006 12:09 PM | Link to this
@Kym, Yes the GA Child Support does take effect in January 2007. The House wanted it to be in by July, but the Senate amended it so now it is January. I think is so confusing….you can go online and read it…..the chart has the adjusted gross income of both parents….and stipulates issues like child tax credit, insurance,etc.
The new law is going to cause problems only for those whose spouses can afford to hire a lawyer and battle out the specfics. For those who divorced uncontested & did not hire a lawyer, you just really have to wonder is it worth the time & effort to only get a few dollars taken off. I recalculated and it only took about $40 off. Good Luck !
By Kym
May 16, 2006 12:14 PM | Link to this
@Musing I dont think it is all that bad dear. People should just proceed with caution. An if you choose to date co-worker lay the ground rules first and stick to them!
By MB
May 16, 2006 12:15 PM | Link to this
I dated a co-worker when I was in my early 20’s and he was in his mid 30’s. It worked out great for a long time. We did nothing more then say hi to each other at work and that was it. Of course every once in awhile he would walk past me and flirt or whisper something in my ear when no one was around but other then that things were great for about 6 months. Then one weekend we were out and 3 females who worked with us, saw us out. These 3 women were your typical busy body types. None of them were married and only one of them had a boyfriend and all of them had kids. Basically outside of work none of them really had a life (which is probably why they stayed in everyone elses business) They were the type that would dislike you for no reason at all it was just something they decided to do. I stayed away from them at work because in my opinion for warned is for armed and I dont do drama never have never will. At any rate they saw us out and the next week at work suddenly both he and I had people coming up to us saying things like “I didnt know you were dating….” Of course we denied it because it wasnt anyones business what we did out side of work. In a nut shell I think if both people invloved in this type of relationship learn to keep their mouth closed and dont associate much at the work place inter-office dating can work out just fine. I have not dated anyone at my work place since then but if a quality man came along and there was mutual interest I would probably do it.
By runninatl
May 16, 2006 12:16 PM | Link to this
Blue Kolla I’m just gonna have to trust your word on that one, not trying to find out myself. I have enough Karma debt to pay back as it is…lol.
LL In defense of the barebackin bruthas, I’m divorced and the second time, well I got caught up, it happens…lol.
gavi you sure you weren’t in the SUV that was bouncing up and down before you went to the gym?…lol.
By Kym
May 16, 2006 12:18 PM | Link to this
@Musing I dont think it is all that bad dear. People should just proceed with caution. An if you choose to date co-worker lay the ground rules first and stick to them!
By Kym
May 16, 2006 12:18 PM | Link to this
@Musing I dont think it is all that bad dear. People should just proceed with caution. An if you choose to date co-worker lay the ground rules first and stick to them!
By QueDogTeaching
May 16, 2006 12:22 PM | Link to this
Dog I will bump for bruh, he was 15 but she is killing him right now. The Child will turn 18 at the end of the summer, so he will have a huge “off child support” be out party.
I have also done the in the parking lot creep at work when I worked nights. We would meet in the parking garage on the next to top deck. It was extremly cool, and exciting until we found out from the on duty guards that cameras had been installed. Luckily he knew how to keep his mouth shut, but I later found out that he started trying to get with the girl. So that is another problem with work place romance. Your name gets out, and 8 hrs worth of back stabbing starts.
By gavi1126
May 16, 2006 12:22 PM | Link to this
@ Musing - Point taken @ Dream - so sorry..my experience is something similar as well. i said, he got game and i got played..lesson learned
By QueDogTeaching
May 16, 2006 12:23 PM | Link to this
Dog I will bump for bruh, he was 15 but she is killing him right now. The Child will turn 18 at the end of the summer, so he will have a huge “off child support” be out party.
I have also done the in the parking lot creep at work when I worked nights. We would meet in the parking garage on the next to top deck. It was extremly cool, and exciting until we found out from the on duty guards that cameras had been installed. Luckily he knew how to keep his mouth shut, but I later found out that he started trying to get with the girl. So that is another problem with work place romance. Your name gets out, and 8 hrs worth of back stabbing starts.
By gavi1126
May 16, 2006 12:26 PM | Link to this
@ RunninA - nope.. she was married and i’ve never been!! good try though :)
By QueDogTeaching
May 16, 2006 12:27 PM | Link to this
@ Jackie, Child support had to be established immedialty. So there is more out of his paycheck for the family plan.
Dog I will bump for bruh, he was 15 but she is killing him right now. The Child will turn 18 at the end of the summer, so he will have a huge “off child support” be out party.
I have also done the in the parking lot creep at work when I worked nights. We would meet in the parking garage on the next to top deck. It was extremly cool, and exciting until we found out from the on duty guards that cameras had been installed. Luckily he knew how to keep his mouth shut, but I later found out that he started trying to get with the girl. So that is another problem with work place romance. Your name gets out, and 8 hrs worth of back stabbing starts.
By Jackie
May 16, 2006 12:29 PM | Link to this
Is the blog going haywire again? Tech Support, where u at?
By QueDogTeaching
May 16, 2006 12:29 PM | Link to this
@ Jackie, Child support had to be established immedialty. So there is more out of his paycheck for the family plan.
Dog I will bump