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AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2006 > May > 23 > Entry
What I’ll Never Do For Love Again
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
When you first meet Mr. or Ms. Right (or Right Now) , you can become really smitten with them. So smitten, that you find yourself doing things you never even considered before! I remember when I was robbing the cradle to date Frat Boy, (please, no jokes!), I found myself acting like a young school girl. It was like I was reliving my college days through him. I had a ball, but reality soon checked. It was all fun and games until my grown up responsibilities reminded me that I wasn’t some carefree college girl anymore. Hanging out late during the week when I had an early meeting with district managers was not exactly a “wise” move. I drank a lot of coffee dating that Frat Boy!!
Then there was the brief time when I dated a personal trainer. I absolutely HATE excercising but when I was caught up in the haze of that hot dude, I clearly became Jane Fonda!! I wanted us to have something in common, and I forced myself into “his world”. You should have seen me, working out and smiling! Whatever!! A sad attempt to impress him, instead of just being myself. Imagine how long it lasted….yea exactly, about as long as it took for my Nikes to get dusty! He was really nice about it and said that I didn’t have to be a gym rat to date him, but things eventually fizzled out. Probably not the best idea to do a bait and switch dating move like this. He did teach me to find fun, interesting physical activities that I would actually stick to, so that was a great by-product of our time together.
Now when you are dating someone new and they are showing you totally new, cool (and hopefully legal) things, it CAN be a great thing. You just have to draw the line at compromising yourself and pretending to be something that you aren’t. I think there should also be a balance. When you are both open to learning more about each other’s interests, it makes for a spicier dating experience. Variety is the spice of life, no?
As I have matured, I surely have racked up a few things of “what I’ll never do for love again”, but I want to hear the lessons you guys have learned first! In your dating history, have you ever thought, “I did it once, but never again!”, when it comes to impressing someone new?
You know what they say, “never say never”. Is this always the case?
Can we really ever say for sure, “that is so not happening again, no way, not me!!
Right! Famous last words, huh?
Permalink | Comments (348) | Post your comment | Categories: Dating
Comments
By QC
May 23, 2006 08:19 AM | Link to this
Morning Excellent topic i’ll comment later too much going on in the office right now…Have a great day everyone
By Nubianteacher
May 23, 2006 08:41 AM | Link to this
Good morning everyone…I’m not a usual blogger, I like to read what everyone has to say…and you guys are hilarious!! Anyway..I had to comment on today’s topic…I’ve always been an individual, but yes, you CAN get caught up with a new person and try to “mesh”…I found myself dating a minister once, and I know DARN WELL I had no business doing that…I was about to burst with lust! He was soooo fine…but I had to act like I was so into the church and a “goody-two-shoes”…not that I am not a Christian, but I can admit that I am still of the “world” and I needed to “release”!! :) Now that I look back on those days with him, I literally laugh out loud! Yes, it happens to the best of us…I’m a testimony to that!
By Janae
May 23, 2006 08:43 AM | Link to this
Good Morning, Everyone.
By Tray
May 23, 2006 08:43 AM | Link to this
good morning everyone! sometimes you have to jump to see if you can fly. QC you have a FAB day!
By Nubianteacher
May 23, 2006 08:43 AM | Link to this
Good morning everyone…I’m not a usual blogger, I like to read what everyone has to say…and you guys are hilarious!! Anyway..I had to comment on today’s topic…I’ve always been an individual, but yes, you CAN get caught up with a new person and try to “mesh”…I found myself dating a minister once, and I know DARN WELL I had no business doing that…I was about to burst with lust! He was soooo fine…but I had to act like I was so into the church and a “goody-two-shoes”…not that I am not a Christian, but I can admit that I am still of the “world” and I needed to “release”!! :) Now that I look back on those days with him, I literally laugh out loud! Yes, it happens to the best of us…I’m a testimony to that!
By E
May 23, 2006 08:47 AM | Link to this
I will never again Attempt to be the KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR! Not my job to try and save the damsel in distress, (bill problems, kid issues, self esteem hangups, etc.) Just be who I am, which I feel is enough.
By Krystal
May 23, 2006 08:47 AM | Link to this
Great topic!
I will never ever pretend to enjoy Nascar! I only have myself to blame for the hours I spent following those blasted cars around a track for hours!
By Renee
May 23, 2006 08:47 AM | Link to this
Good Morning everyone.
I’m not compromising who I am for love. I’m not dying for love. I’m not sacrificing my childs happiness for my own selfish love.
Other than that, I can’t dictate what I will or won’t do.
By QC
May 23, 2006 08:47 AM | Link to this
Welcome Numbianteacher
Tray you have a FAB day also!
Morning Janae
By JustMe
May 23, 2006 08:57 AM | Link to this
Good Morning Bloggers,
Foutunately for me I am overly adventurous. I have tried lots of different things dating and there’s nothing that killed me or bored me to death, so I’d probably do any of them again. My only hell to da naw, I ain’t gonna try in bungy jumping. Brutha can be fine as all out doors, and I won’t even think about it!
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 23, 2006 09:01 AM | Link to this
Good Morning Everybody!! What’s up Miss QC
By MB
May 23, 2006 09:05 AM | Link to this
I like to see the person that I am dealing with happy. So I make it my business to listen very closely when he starts to talk about his dreams or things he likes/wants. I have always believed that in a relationship you do what is needed to keep it as happy and loving as possible. That thought while ideal is what gets me into trouble and gets my kindness mistaken for weakness more often then not. I had an ex who wanted to play pro baseball he had been out of college for almost 10 years but claimed he was very good at one time. I know nothing about baseball and really didnt care about it. However I used my connections to find him an agent that was more then willing to sit down and talk with him to see what he could do. The ex never followed through with the meeting with the agent. I like most women love to shop. If I am involed with a man when I shop for me he automatically gets something also. One time and one time only (and I hate to admit it lol) I actually cut a brothas toe nails. Its things like these and many more that I have done for men that I was just dating. I am not going to say that I wont go out of my way to make my man happy anymore becuse I actually enjoy that. I will just say that the next man I go out of my way for will be my future husband not just someone I’m dating.
By gavi1126
May 23, 2006 09:06 AM | Link to this
Good Day, ( bowing down asian style ) RunninA, QC, 3rd, MusingL, DemiG, WD I’m in early today..
Once i pretended to like dogs, when in reality i’m afraid & am digusted with the licking and all. Eventually i just couldn’t stand it anymore, and just went the “lets be friends route”, this other time i dyed my hair and everything to look like this chick on tv cause homeboy thought i resembled her.. Just pathetic u know.. Well so nothing drastic on my part where i pretended to be somebody or something i’m not.. But i’m one of those who would say “NEVER SAY NEVER”!!
I can’t wait to see experiences U guys had/have to share!
By QC
May 23, 2006 09:10 AM | Link to this
I can totally agree with E it’s just in my case it was the other way around, i was always the one giving 151 o/o in the relationship, but you can’t change tiger stripes to chettah spots (or whatever) i’ve learned from my mistakes and have just been my sweet, loveable self. I can’t fake it trying to like something just because my mate does, no mam i can’t do that…cause if i don’t like it trust it will show on my face. But i still give what i need to in getting to know someone and possibly pursuing that person for something more than friendship. That’s when all the instigating comes to play. lol!
By QC
May 23, 2006 09:16 AM | Link to this
Morning 3rd, Gavi, Mista, Page, Dg?, Musing, Van, Fyre, Thick, Jackie, Kim, LahLah, db, abc, 2,BlueKollar, LL, Easter Bunny, Great Pumkin, Christmas Trees, Blue Skies
Newbies, Lurkers, Closet Bloggers
My Husband (hey Boo)
Cape Crusader’s Cape Holding Boo
By distantALsavga
May 23, 2006 09:17 AM | Link to this
morning everyone have been lurking and enjoying the blog.(chillin)
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 23, 2006 09:18 AM | Link to this
Gavi what’s up girl??
By Tray
May 23, 2006 09:24 AM | Link to this
yeah but sometimes those moments of pretending to like something you find out that you really did, or in fact you don’t. but you learned something about yourself.
yeah I’m talking in circles, it’s one of those days that basically I hate everything, one, etc, so going to lurk and learn
thanks QC on the wishes..
By anonymousella
May 23, 2006 09:25 AM | Link to this
i’ll never take the time to get to know someone if the spark ain’t there from minute 1. hopefully i won’t ever have to go through the dating process again. but if i do, bump all that “don’t judge a book…” mess…LOL. every good, long-term relationship i have ever had — friendship, employer, romantic — has been instant. and all of that “getting to know you stuff” has just been a waste of my time.
By Wookin' Pnub
May 23, 2006 09:27 AM | Link to this
I will never love a man more than I love myself again! I put ME FIRST. I was in a very loooong relationship where my whole existence was this man. I didn’t go out with my friends, I supported him financially, in the beginning of the relationship, which was dumb on my part. I lost my identity because I ate, slept and breathed this person. I let everything about myself fall to the wayside.
By gavi1126
May 23, 2006 09:28 AM | Link to this
Hai Girl..(3rd) ..I bet u can’t wait to hit the beach!!
By Wookin' Pnub
May 23, 2006 09:29 AM | Link to this
I will never love a man more than I love myself again! I put ME FIRST. I was in a very loooong relationship where my whole existence was this man. I didn’t go out with my friends, I supported him financially, in the beginning of the relationship, which was dumb on my part. I lost my identity because I ate, slept and breathed this person. I let everything about myself fall to the wayside.
By QC
May 23, 2006 09:31 AM | Link to this
Morning Jazzy
By DuShawn
May 23, 2006 09:32 AM | Link to this
Good Morninig
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 09:32 AM | Link to this
Good Morning Everyone! Hey Gavi how could you NOT like dogs lol??? Gyrl we need a psychoanalysts JUST for you lol.
@3rd-Hey Chica!
@Page GYRL WE DID IT!!! That game was AWESOME!!! GO SUNS!!!
To ALL LURKERS & NEWCOMERS: A Heartfelt Welcome to You! WE appreciate you joining & sincerely hope that you will stay & participate on a regular basis.
By Robin
May 23, 2006 09:32 AM | Link to this
Okay - I once dated this guy who LOVED watching television. I don’t even have cable, ok?? SO, that was BORIIIIINGGGGGGGG to say the least.
Then I dated this geek who was into all this sci-fi stuff, including the big geek fest thingy that is called dragoncon or some such. He was also into gaming. Weird to say the least. And BORRRRRRRRRRRRRRINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG.
Give me a music man any day of the week over the dull sci-fi geek boys. GAH!
By Ms.Elusive
May 23, 2006 09:36 AM | Link to this
Morning all,
Diva - Great topic!
high fives JustMe - Girl I second that comment about the bungee jumping!
By runninatl
May 23, 2006 09:40 AM | Link to this
Morning people. This should be absolutely hilarious today so I’m just gonna sit back and enjoy!…LMAO.
gavi I looked up this link just for you in case you ever consider pulling that Single White Female stunt again…LMAO. http://www.atlantatherapist.com
By tim
May 23, 2006 09:40 AM | Link to this
I can’t deal with the women with kids anymore. My last 3 girlfriends all had kids and I tried to play “stepdaddy” but it is just not me.Because no matter how hard I try I cannot get into cartoons,Disney channel,Raven,and Chuck E cheese. Not to metion If me I have to deal with finding a babysitter if we want to go out. I have no kids so if i date a woman with kids and i want to go out on a tuesday night with her it can’t happen,because she got to help kids with homework,pick them up from practice or daycare.Also you have to deal with “baby daddy” drama.
By DuShawn
May 23, 2006 09:40 AM | Link to this
I think women are more likely to conform their behavior and interest than men. The posts that I have read thus far reinforce this theory. Personally, I have never pretended to be interested in a subject to impress a woman nor have I changed my style for their benefit. However, I am guilty of trying to save a few women that really needed help.
By Ms.Elusive
May 23, 2006 09:41 AM | Link to this
My ex liked to watch AdultSwim on the Cartoon Network. Yu gi oh and some other crap. I thought it was kinda cute… in touch with his youth and all that jazz. I was so bad that I’d convinced myself that I enjoyed them too, but am I watching them now? Nope. So… it was definately just for him. lol
By gavi1126
May 23, 2006 09:44 AM | Link to this
@ anonymousella - I think, the point is that what crazy stuff would u do, after the spark is there!! In other words, just because u like the person so much, what r the crazy things u would do to be with him/her.
@ Fyre - lol..One traumatic experience while i was a lil girl changed my opinion on dogs..i don’t mind lil dogs ( chiuaua etc)..but other then that..noo..Also this guy has a Great Dane..who weighs more then me..lol..
By Kym
May 23, 2006 09:45 AM | Link to this
Good Morning All, Hmmmm I thought a minute before responding to this. I have done somethings in the name of love. But never changed who I am for it. I guess the only thing I could think of was giving a interest in military lingo when dating the “Soldier from Hell” but otherwise I am pretty much my own person. It doesnt mean I am not open to new stuff. But, changing my belief system to appease some dude. NAWWWWWW!!!!!
By gavi1126
May 23, 2006 09:49 AM | Link to this
@ RunninA - Hai Boo.. lol.. Thanks, but no thanks..( Single white Fem = not me).. r u gettin me confused with somebody else??
By G
May 23, 2006 09:52 AM | Link to this
Never again will I be Dr. Phil in the relationship. Ms. Baglady will have to drop her bags at the next stop.
By QC
May 23, 2006 09:52 AM | Link to this
Morning Runnin, Musing, G
By runninatl
May 23, 2006 09:55 AM | Link to this
gavi What’s up baby girl. You gotta remember that movie to get that one. In the movie, ol girl died her her and took on the appearance and personality of her roommate to get at her man. Your dying hair story reminded me of that mess…lol.
By G
May 23, 2006 10:00 AM | Link to this
Never again will I be Dr. Phil in the relationship. Ms. Baglady will have to drop her bags at the next stop.
I once dated this girl who had a history of bad relationships. She was so used to guys cheating, fighting, and whatever, that she thought our relationship was begining to get boring. I knew she was bringing emotional/psychological baggage, but I thought I was patient enough to outlast, and talk it out. Boy was I wrong. I have run out of time for Ms. Baglady.
By Ms.Elusive
May 23, 2006 10:03 AM | Link to this
high fives Kym - same here girl.. if there is one thing I can say, it’s I’m my own person… hate it or love it. Sometimes I wonder if I am too inflexible. I’m open to try new things but if I don’t like them, I am pretty comfortable saying so. If guys don’t like it, OH WELL. shrugs
Now, my mom on the other hand could really speak to this. I tease her all the time, because she’s back on the dating scene and you can always tell what kind of guy she is dating because of how she’s currently acting and what activities she’s into. She is the ultimate chamelion. She starts to dress like them, talk like them… it’s pretty bad. My mom is the consummate buppie. I have plenty of memories of having my grammer corrected, so imagine my surprise when she starts dating Mr. Thuglife and the words “das my nigga” came from her lips. I was like.. “Err? Who are you and where did you put my mom?” lmao
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 10:04 AM | Link to this
@G LOL OMG you had the baglady huh my bad boo!
@Gavi GYRL it’s the little ones who fight the dirtiest lol you have to watch out for them more! Check out the therapy link runnin sent lol!
Back to the Topic at hand. I think probably the one time I really changed who I was for a guy was this man that I met within the last year who has a COMPLETELY different religion than I do. I tried to at least embrace our differences & tried to learn about his religion & what may have attracted him to it—& for a while there I could sort of understand why it called him until— THE CHICKENS were supposed to be allowed in the house! THAT DID IT! So I have made a solemn vow that from now on my man must GOD FEARING, GOD LOVING, & CHICKEN IN THE HOUSE HATING!! OH THE TRAUMA!! Hey runnin I think I need that link!!! LOL
By Thick
May 23, 2006 10:08 AM | Link to this
Good Morning Everyone, I hope you all are having a Fabulastic Day!
Yes, I have dated a guy with some characteristics taht I will never, and I mean never date again. He was like a baby, did not like to share, he only wanted to see me he wanted too, and would be totally upset if I went out without him, I just got really tired of this immature behavior.
He was not a big communicator, he felt like somehow he did not have to do anything in a relationship, and if things did not go his way he pouted, yes, had through a tantrum, and poked out his lip. I go really tired of his chickenhead behavior and just told him to let it go, I’m busy.
I will never tolerate this kind of behavior but there are other things that I can accept now that I am more mature.
Hey Musing, MissQC, Fyer, Jewel, Jazzy, DuShawn, Third, BlueKollar, QDogTeach, Page, LL, Gavi, Lah Lah, Jackie, Jenae
By Kenya
May 23, 2006 10:08 AM | Link to this
I will not prematurely compromise my goals/dreams for love and settle on a lifestyle where I am ordinary. I love my children (2) more than life but I will never again have a child just because of love. Love fades and the responsibility and needs of children last a lifetime.
By chink
May 23, 2006 10:09 AM | Link to this
Good Morning All
Oh I have done alot for love …child out of wedlock-wont do again, cook dinner every night-wont do again, open up entirely - wont do again…ok maybe but it will take a while for that.
My experience has been that men always try to act a certain way for me to get me. They try to impress me with all this stuff that they think a woman of my caliber would like when actually I am very easy to please (the little things) but difficult in the sense I am not going to tell you what to do to get to me.
By runninatl
May 23, 2006 10:15 AM | Link to this
Sup QC. Dallas pulled it out but the Clippers couldn’t hang.
LOL @FyreStarrter and THE CHICKENS were supposed to be allowed in the house!
Ladies: The use of the link I posted earlier is free for you all today. I am getting paid by the number of referrals and lawd knows there is plenty of business to be had here in the A…LMAO.
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 10:15 AM | Link to this
@Thick Good Morning Gyrl!! Yes it is QUITE obvious that Nut Job had to go gyrl. If there is anything I cannot stand, it is a spoiled rotten whiny man lol.
By Thick
May 23, 2006 10:15 AM | Link to this
*Welcome Nubianteacher, we are glad to have you here
By gavi1126
May 23, 2006 10:16 AM | Link to this
Sup Thick! @ Fyre - the only reason i like the lil once is because if they act up, i can just atleast kick em, or something.. ( good thesis ). Now i can’t do that with the big ones, can i?? Since u guys ( Runnin as well ) are teasing me..this is what had happen.. i had two Doberman dogs chase after me, and thank god the owner came in time..but the trauma had already gotten to me.. Hence the dislike of big dogs came in teh picture.
Once,i actually did go online and tried to know bout Cars, models, year..blah blah..so that i could impress Mr.Suave with my knowledge about cars..lol..
By Kym
May 23, 2006 10:16 AM | Link to this
@Ms. Exclusive. I dont think it is a case of inflexiblity. Just a matter of knowing what you like and dont like. Heck I will try anything once. But, I am not going to make it apart of the very fabric of my being if I dont like it just so I can impress some guy. If I met a nice gentleman and he said lets go jogging. I have no problem saying you jog, I will walk, and we will meet at the Dairy Queen.
By MB
May 23, 2006 10:16 AM | Link to this
G The guy that I set up with the agent had alot of drama like that with women also. I ended up breaking up with him and he went back to the woman that stabbed him and beat his son and actually married her (they are divorced now but geez thats too much drama). The night I broke up with him his closing words were, “You were the best girlfriend I ever had.” After him I realized that there are some people who get treated so poorly in relationships they begin to think thats all they deserve. In addition they also begin to believe that drama in a relationship is normal. When in fact CHAOS IS NOT NORMAL.. So when they do meet a person who is peaceful and likes them for who they are with no other motives they usually treat that person like crap. Its really sad but it happens all the time. So all the decent person can do is remove themself from the relationship.
By ObliviousOne
May 23, 2006 10:18 AM | Link to this
I don’t mind trying new things and doing what the object of my affection would like to do. But the ball drops when that person is unyielding in doing the things that I would enjoy or have an interest in.
By chink
May 23, 2006 10:19 AM | Link to this
Oh yeah no more guys who use (once a week) or addicted to alcohol, drugs- yes I consider weed a drug, or anything that equals risky behavior.
By gavi1126
May 23, 2006 10:19 AM | Link to this
To turn it around the other way - All of the guys i seem to date, do seem to bend in to my likes to their likes.. But i don’t mind that.. A guy who really doesn’t gym regularly starts doing so , is a great thing. Also if he starts to eat healthy, try to do the stuff i like, which he normally wouldn’t do otherwise..I do not mind that a bit ;)
By QC
May 23, 2006 10:22 AM | Link to this
Ok Gavi it’s after 10am and the real Cape Crusader nor Musing has not! checked in….i’m getting worried, what do you think?????? Before we left on yesterday they both were flying around the ATL so what’s up with that? it’s not like them both to be missing, Runnin where ya boys at?
By Mel S
May 23, 2006 10:23 AM | Link to this
One thing I’ll never do again is settle. I married someone who I thought I could mold into what I wanted. I thought no one would ever accept me for my faults like he did, so I took the opportunity while it was there. I married for convenience, not love. Finally, we realized it wasn’t what we wanted, so we went our seperate ways. Never again will I settle for less than what I want. My expectations are much higher now and I will not accept someone who is not on my social or close to my intelligence level. If I have to explain everything, or spell check everything they do, it’s not worth it to me. Granted, my ex-husband and I were best friends, but that’s it. I will NEVER settle for a man that does not satisfy me sexually. Sorry to be blunt, but it’s true. If he leaves me wanting more, or is not willing to try or even attempt to be a lover as well as companion, what’s the point? Yes guys, there are women out there with voracious appetites…it’s just hard to find the guys looking for relationships that are the same, not just looking for a piece.
By Mel S
May 23, 2006 10:24 AM | Link to this
One thing I’ll never do again is settle. I married someone who I thought I could mold into what I wanted. I thought no one would ever accept me for my faults like he did, so I took the opportunity while it was there. I married for convenience, not love. Finally, we realized it wasn’t what we wanted, so we went our seperate ways. Never again will I settle for less than what I want. My expectations are much higher now and I will not accept someone who is not on my social or close to my intelligence level. If I have to explain everything, or spell check everything they do, it’s not worth it to me. Granted, my ex-husband and I were best friends, but that’s it. I will NEVER settle for a man that does not satisfy me sexually. Sorry to be blunt, but it’s true. If he leaves me wanting more, or is not willing to try or even attempt to be a lover as well as companion, what’s the point? Yes guys, there are women out there with voracious appetites…it’s just hard to find the guys looking for relationships that are the same, not just looking for a piece.
By Thick
May 23, 2006 10:27 AM | Link to this
I also dated a guy that wanted me to change the way I dressed. He seemed real Holy, but in a strange and demanding kind of way, I had to break it off with him also. I could just me arguing with about one of my tops and a fitting pair of jeans. If I can accept him for who he is I want him to accept me.
By Kenya
May 23, 2006 10:28 AM | Link to this
@ Chink you sound like me…They try to uphold my lifestyle and contribute to the way I carry me when its the little things I really adore but I don’t want to say when, how, how much or how little
2 children by this man out of wedlock, the cooking, cleaning, etc. Never ever again (with my eyes open)
By gavi1126
May 23, 2006 10:31 AM | Link to this
@ QC - Musin was busy smashing folks around..must be tired. I did look out of my window..not suspecious flying object! Sigh!! CapeC must be getting ready or something??
By chink
May 23, 2006 10:32 AM | Link to this
@ Gavi
Dont worry I feel ya I am afraid of dogs too. In NY there used to be this horse looking dog that jumped over the fence and run after everyone walking down the street.
Also I was almost attacked by one ..once that happens its hard to release the fear. I have a sonar device with me when I go to the park sometimes because I hate dogs that come/run to me ..just leave me alone!!!!
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 10:36 AM | Link to this
@Gavi oh my poor Gavi, you were at the bad end of 2 very good dogs lol. Just try & remember that it’s the owner NOT the dog. And for the record YES I am a dog lover, all breeds all sizes, BUT I do understand you being traumatized by that experience.
@runnin oh h3ll no the dayum Chickens do NOT BELONG in my loft! UNH UNH!!
@Chink GYRL the illegal drugs (yes dudes this DOES include weed) are so easy to try & get past because we say well it’s only once a week, or being around me he will quit soon enough. When not even deep down inside but right there on the surface we KNOW it is NOT true. They will NOT give that monkey up lol.
@MB you know what I have been in that scenario once myself, the guy I was dating lead a very Spartan lifestyle as a result of all the relationship trauma he had endured & for a while I adapted until I realized I just couldn’t deal with all that negativity & lack of ambition. It was like he felt because he had had a really bad life growing up that his life was just supposed to stay that way & never move forward. sigh
By chink
May 23, 2006 10:37 AM | Link to this
@Kenya I hear ya and I aint mad at ya….understand completely
My motto is now if you dont like it you can go….my capacity for love is minuscule..I am almost afraid that I can’t love sometimes
By gavi1126
May 23, 2006 10:38 AM | Link to this
@ Chink - Thank U!! See,i knew i was normal..and that its ok to be afraid of dogs!! lol @ horse looking dog. That’s how my friend’s dog looks. i can ride him, seriously!!
By "Longtime Lurker"
May 23, 2006 10:42 AM | Link to this
Man, I think there is a lot bull crap going on up in here this mornin! Folks talking bout what they won’t do for love, man puleese! The right person cross your path like a black cat, yo azz gonna be doing crazy ish again.
Dudes will be makin them trips to CVS for monthly’s, for their broads and chicks will be looking at their dudes like he’s the next great super hero or something.
Errybody been a sucker for love once or twice, some half a dozen.
Nothin wrong with that ish, just keep things in perspective and keep it movin…
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 10:42 AM | Link to this
@Thick-GYRL I wish a man would lol. I think I tried to date a MUCH older guy a few years back & he tried to comment on my manner of dressing stating that he felt it was inappropriate to show any kind of clevage or wear short skirts. Gyrl I almost went exorcist on him! Let that be a lesson to people-If you meet someone & there is something about him or her you DON’T like with within the 1st 2 weeks NEWSFLASH!! It is not going to change! They may stem their behaviour temporarily but it will NOT change. Take 10 deep breaths & keep it moving!
By sJeaSexyCool
May 23, 2006 10:44 AM | Link to this
i will never again believe that you can’t help who you fall in love with…
By runninatl
May 23, 2006 10:45 AM | Link to this
QC Don’t fret, The Instigators are doing some covert missions and then some recruiting. Then, I think demigod said he has a wet t-shirt contest to judge at noon…lol.
Ladies Ya’ll are making me sad so in the spirit of the moment, I’m going to kick off some slow jam dedications. To start it off, now playing “Reasons”, by Earth, Wind, and Fire.
By Thick
May 23, 2006 10:46 AM | Link to this
Chink, I like that 10:09 post, cook every night! How want me to come to your house and cook every night, he must be dismissed. Meet me half way, take me out to dinner sometime, order dinner in, the Olive Garden has pick-up, men just don’t know!
By sJeaSexyCool
May 23, 2006 10:48 AM | Link to this
i will never again believe that you can’t help who you fall in love with…
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 10:51 AM | Link to this
@Ms.Exclusive- I do think that as women sometimes we go to extremes. Either we tend to over commit & do everything to try & make a relationship work or we state empathically that we will NOT do anything to try & make a relationship work & that our partner has to do everything (alot of that has to do with past relationships in all earnest though). Trouble is if we are doing either of those it’s NOT really a relationship is it? You saying you might be inflexible, maybe you are a tad but the first step towards working on that is to do just what you did & acknowledge it. Because if you feel you are inflexible chances are your current or past SO’s felt the same.
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 10:58 AM | Link to this
@sJeaSexyCool-I think you really can’t help whom you fall in love with BUT I think you can help whom you will choose to let take advantage of that love though. sigh
By MB
May 23, 2006 10:58 AM | Link to this
FyreStarrter I know thats right girl. But you know it doesnt even take a week or two anymore. Luckily the majority of my stupid moves where men were concerned were committed in my twenties. After self evaluation I discovered that something in me told me immediately that I should not be dealing with certain people and I ignored that little voice. Now I pay very close attention to that little whisper that comes to me when I first meet a man. Doubt means dont and if you dont listen to that whisper it usually becomes a scream and drama is usually fight at your back door by that time.
By runninatl
May 23, 2006 10:59 AM | Link to this
The next selection is dedicated to chink & Thick, since neither one of them are cooking every night, or fetching their man’s slippers ever again…LMAO.
Now playing, “Ask of you”, by Raphael Saadiq
By QC
May 23, 2006 11:01 AM | Link to this
Runnin, ok DG would be a judge at something like that ;) i’ll check back later…
By chink
May 23, 2006 11:03 AM | Link to this
@ Thick
I know he wanted a maid not a wife.
@ runnin
Ya’ll have it so easy, men are not really expected to do much but a woman we have to be beautiful all the time, in shape, cook, clean, be a nun, but a freak with you though, raise the kids, and basically be a super hero. While a man can get fat, sloppy, loose his hair, wear old worn out clothes, only be a father sometimes, be promiscuis, fart, burp, and everything else and its AOK.
DOUBLE STANDARD not trying to man bash but oh well
I wish I could fall in love for the first time again …oh well
By Renee
May 23, 2006 11:05 AM | Link to this
Never fall in love with your heart. Use your mind then your heart, and you will never go wrong.
By gavi1126
May 23, 2006 11:06 AM | Link to this
@ RunninA - yeah..oh gotcha.. haven’t seen the movie.. Why r u not helping DemiG out at the judging thing?
Do you guys think that a person can control falling in love?? I mean, if you know that the other person is not necessarily u’re type or can’t give you everything..can u make u’re self not like the person?? I think, u can!! I only say this, after i read Long Lurker’s comment on ppl doing crazy things when in love!
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 11:07 AM | Link to this
@MB See I like that phrase “Doubt Means Don’t” sigh so True…SO TRUE… Most of us unfortunately chose to wait until the drama is at the door before we see the forest for the trees.. sigh
@runnin-I am loving you & your song selection today! Raphael Saadiq is the man!
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 23, 2006 11:10 AM | Link to this
Gavi I don’t know… I keep reading these horror stories on the travel AJC blog about Panama City and now I am getting nervous. I don’t want to get kidnapped or left for dead. I do want to party and lay on the beach… But yes, I am doing a mental countdown to the beach…. 3 more days to go…. WHOPEE!!!
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 11:11 AM | Link to this
@Chink-Breathe Gyrl Breathe—-I am right here with you lol. But I to say that any man that “can get fat, sloppy, loose his hair, wear old worn out clothes, only be a father sometimes, be promiscuis, fart, burp, and everything else” will be out the dayum door before you can finish the can & the get lol. So as you get older I think we have all learned what we will & will NOT put up with. You know we have to be superheroes but as women that is just whom we were made to be. GOD understood that from the jump lol.
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 23, 2006 11:11 AM | Link to this
* What’s up Fyre* I am jamming to my XM radio this morning…. Playing Chaka Khan I feel for you… LOL
By runninatl
May 23, 2006 11:12 AM | Link to this
chink Okkkkaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy. Now that you got that little vent and male bash off of your chest I’ll give you a second dedication since you want to fall in love for the first time again.
Now playing, “One in a million”, by Aaliyah
By sJeaSexyCool
May 23, 2006 11:13 AM | Link to this
chink…i PROMISE you that the man that you described would not get a second look from me or any of the women i know…and if that madness started happening after we were together…it is mandatory that it be addressed…
but it’s cool…i read it with the humor with which i am certain it was intended…cause you’re right…it’s always the fattest, sloppiest ones that want a dimepiece…
By Thick
May 23, 2006 11:13 AM | Link to this
I cannot see myself going these routes again, especially the cooking and my clothes. I like wearing what I want, it’s not slutty, so my thinking is, get a grip on yourself.
Oh yeah, let’s not forget the guy who needed me to call him or who called me every 45 minutes to find out where I was and what I was doing. The single life got me, I don’t know how to report in like a good girl!
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 23, 2006 11:14 AM | Link to this
What’s up Jazzy? Trying to play catch up on here…
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 11:15 AM | Link to this
@Miss QC I TOO am very worried about Demi-it’s so not like him to not have flown into the office by now. We MUST keep an ever vigilant watch for him. LOL
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 23, 2006 11:16 AM | Link to this
@Kym 10:16 AM Comment LOLOL I tell people that all the time… they ask me to go running I tell them I will met them at Ms.Winners…
oh yeah really glad the blog is working now….!!
By melo
May 23, 2006 11:17 AM | Link to this
‘The right person cross your path like a black cat, yo azz gonna be doing crazy ish again.’-Longtime Lurker
I second that. Most(gals) who say that have been burnt in their previous relationships and have not found anything yet or are still too bitter to date. Love softens the heart and u wont know untill u in love. If u get burnt, chill, relax and take a breath but keep it moving. Life is too precious to hold on too past bad experiences. Lov is good!
By Wookin' Pnub
May 23, 2006 11:18 AM | Link to this
I also will not date divorced men with kids. Too much baggage, in my experience. Mostly committment phobes. I may date a divorced man no kids, but when I see the red flags I will run, run wookin’ run!
By Kym
May 23, 2006 11:18 AM | Link to this
@Gavi Yes dear it is quite possible to run like the dickens from a person even if you do love them. That saying there is a thin line between love and hate is quite true. Unless you are the type that says I will adapt or he will change once he is with me. My friend has a saying you finish how you start. If he or she starts off being a crappy lover, or a liar, or a cheat, nine ways to sunday that is pretty much them just being themselves. For example”Soldier from Hell” was a bad communicator from begining to end he sucked. In the end, he didnt change he just kept doing what it was in his makeup to do. (not return calls, etc..) It is about what you are willing to deal with. An once you realize you cant deal with that behavior, you push on. An hopefully dont look for another homie-lover-friend with the same behavior. Have any of you seen the Fruit-Cake Lady on Leno? She has a saying you cant change a person just look forward to them getting worst.
By gavi1126
May 23, 2006 11:20 AM | Link to this
@ Renee - i luv what u said..that one liner was off the chain girl
By runninatl
May 23, 2006 11:21 AM | Link to this
gavi I have to stay here and dj and get my referrals, plus demi can handle that..lol. And this selection is for you and your ability to control who you fall in love with.
Now playing, “Cupid”, by 112
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 11:22 AM | Link to this
Hey 3rd Gyrl just pray, go, & watch your back! I have never been to Panama City but I have been to Miami & Tampa more than a few times! Believe me Tampa is WORSE than Miami lol. So just Pray & Go & have fun!
@Thick yeah gyrl that is always hilrious when someone tries to indoctrinate someone else with their beliefs lol. When you tell them to GTH back the attitude they cop is PRICELESS lol! And the constant caller? Oh gyrl he had MAJOR issues-like Criminal Minds Unsub issues-be glad you are GONE from that situation! LOL
@runnin-awww bruh why did you have to go & bring up Aaliyah today??? sniff
By melo
May 23, 2006 11:26 AM | Link to this
‘cannot see myself going these routes again, especially the cooking and my clothes. I like wearing what I want, it’s not slutty, so my thinking is, get a grip on yourself.’-Thick
Maybe u need advice on yr dressing, dont be too defensive.
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 11:26 AM | Link to this
@Wookin’—JACKPOT with that 1118 post! It’s official ladies we have a new sister in arms! Gyrl after my most recent experience I try not to even date divorced men lol! One of the hottest guys I EVER dated (I mean like Tyson-the model hot) had just gone through a divorce & GOD was that an awful experience. He apologized for it later but the damage sadly was done.
By LahLah
May 23, 2006 11:27 AM | Link to this
Hey all you extra fabulous people!!! Wow look at all the new bloggers! That’s great. Welcome.
I will never again change my physcial appearance based on how my man thinks I should look.
I’ve had ex’s in the past who didn’t want me to wear weave or makeup. I only wear a little foundation and mascara oh and my MAC sattin finish “Photo A85” lipstick. Which is basic to me. And I keep the Milkyway Blue #4 10” sewn in. (the ladies know what I’m talking about.) That’s what I like. It enhances my beauty. But I’m not one of those people that can’t go to the gas station unless “I have my face on.” I’m flattered that my ex’s thought I was beautiful without my mascara, lipstick and dark brown mane but it’s what I like. So I’ll never again go plain faced to a nice resturant. I shouldn’t have to.
And if I want microbraids, that’s what I’m going to do. A guy actually told me once that anyone who would spend $260 on a hairstyle has life messed up. He also said women who wear microbraids are just too dang lazy to do their own hair. WTF??????
Question I’m dating a guy now, and I really like him. He always compliments me on my hair. He tells me that it’s so beautiful. When were sitting next to each other, he smells it and touches it but he still hasn’t realized it isn’t mine!! How do I tell him that the hair he’s fallen in love with comes from C&S Beauty Supply store off of Memorial Dr? it’s going to break his heart
By Sidelines
May 23, 2006 11:27 AM | Link to this
Hello and Mornin’ to evryone - “Nine ways to Sunday”…lol, that was cute Kym.
Back to lurksville….:)
By queeng
May 23, 2006 11:28 AM | Link to this
Great topic, as a 40ish female I have had my share of things I have done out of love. I have never changed who I am to fit who the person I’m dating is, but I have compromised quite often. However, even though I’ve had several bad experiences I don’t think that there is anything I could honestly say I would never do again. I am caring by nature and I think of my man as an extention of myself. I am not into casual dating and if I enter a relationship with someone my goal is for a long-term relationship or eventually marriage. I too love the little things. I will exercise caution from now on when lending someone money. There has been several times when I have lended someone I was dating large sums of money, never to be repaid. When I look back at the situation they were losers anyhow who were performing to get what they wanted. Another thing is that I will not discuss a lot about my painful past unless I see that it is getting very serious. Even though I would never want to lie to my mate. There are certain things that they do not need to know immediately. For instance, that I was sexually abused as a child. Somehow, men always seem to think that this is an unresolved issue that will cause problems in your relationship and use this as an excuse for everything.
By MB
May 23, 2006 11:31 AM | Link to this
Wookin I totally agree about the divorced man thing. I refuse to even look at a divorced man unless hes been out of that relationship for at least 5 years. I figure it takes at least that long for him to release the bitter issues, undo all of the possible head games his ex dropped on him and get over the “I gotta sex everything in site” mentality that alot of recently divorced guy seem to have. However if he has more then 1 child none of that matters because I wont touch him with a 10 foot pole anyway. Same for recently seperated men thats just potential drama waiting to happen.
By chink
May 23, 2006 11:31 AM | Link to this
@ runnin
Thanks for the dedication
Hey gals I was basically describing a bum on the corner huh? lol alittle exaggeration on my behalf but most guys do have a least one of the those qualities (pun intended)
By gavi1126
May 23, 2006 11:35 AM | Link to this
@ Kym - I like what u’re friend said ” you finish how you start”!! I guess a person has to look for signs, then if she/he does..then dip!! I didn’t really give in to somebody at that level, but i did stop myself from liking guys who i thought weren’t at my level.
@ 3rd - Girl u’re silly..why u always have to meet at some food joint..why cna’t u meet him at the gym..
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 11:40 AM | Link to this
@Chink-trust me gyrl we feel you! LOL
By SeanJohnson
May 23, 2006 11:41 AM | Link to this
Just my two cents.. From my experience we tend to change or conform our personalities and hobbies depending on our attraction level and feelings for the person we date. If its someone we really want its easy to get wrapped up into their lives. This normally happens in the beginning when things are new..the get know each other slash impress each other stage. As time pass the real you comes out you get to see if you are compatible with that person…Me i go into things as is…naked not literally though…except me and embrace me..
By MB
May 23, 2006 11:41 AM | Link to this
Lahlah The hair thing is not an issue. Girl Im like Regine from living single when Im not in these braids. We are women and its fun to be women wigs, braids weaves or whatever are all a part of us being individuals and expressing how we feel on any given day. The hair and make- up cannot give you anything you dont already have it can only enhance it. I just tell men if it appears to be an issue to them that I change my hair about as often as I change my mind. I have found that as long as in their opinion the braids, weave, wigs etc is attractive and sexy and undetectable they dont care.
By chink
May 23, 2006 11:41 AM | Link to this
@queen
I am sorry to hear that ….I wish you the best, you deserve it
By runninatl
May 23, 2006 11:42 AM | Link to this
LahLah Morning. This dedication is for you, your man, and your weave…lol. Looks like you have some decisions to make….lol.
Now playing, “Before I Let Go”, by Frankie Beverly and Maze
By Thick
May 23, 2006 11:44 AM | Link to this
I must add these men who think they know everything and are constantly trying to tell me which way to go, what to do, how to talk. Women you know what I’m talking about, hold on I’m not finish — kneel down, stand up, bend over, don’t talk, sit there, call me, cook some dinner, go to bed, be home by ten, ultimate don’t wear that, it’s not appropriate!
Maybe u need advice on yr dressing, dont be too defensive.-melo
Get A Grip On Yourself, you are taking the v-neck top and flared gaucho jeans way too far! It is not that serious.
By Sidelines
May 23, 2006 11:46 AM | Link to this
@Lahlah, Smelling your hair??? LMAO….still laughing, lol….the next time he comments on it, just kind of slide in “you do realize that this is weave”…girrlll, if he never calls you again, then he DEFINITELY did you a favor!
Back to lurksville, again….
Oh, runnin’, are you taking requests? How about “Before I Let Go” by Maze….lol!
By LahLah
May 23, 2006 11:51 AM | Link to this
Wookin Your post on divorced men is interesting. They do have serious commitment phobes after their divorce. I asked you all the question the other day about my beau who is a divorcee. He said he didn’t want to be married again in fear of being divorced again. I come across a lot of men who feel this way. It’s sad. Making me think that going forward, I won’t date guys who are newly divorced, I’m talkin in the past 5 years.
By Sidelines
May 23, 2006 11:54 AM | Link to this
@runnin’, I see great minds think alike…lol! Now THAT was too coincidental!
By gavi1126
May 23, 2006 11:54 AM | Link to this
@ LahLah - lol.. girl.. u made me laugh out tooo loud.. my bad.. ahheemm.. on a serious note.. I dont think, its that big of a deal.. so what he likes u’re (not) hair!! Just slip the fact in one of u’re silly convo’s like its not a big deal ( cause it isn’t )..
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 11:56 AM | Link to this
@SeanJohnson-WOO HOO you are so right my friend! If we are truly feeling a person than our own personality, clothes, lifestyle be dayumed lol. WE will do whatever it takes to hook them lol! Sad part about it is is that most times they do not even have the capactity to appreciate all that you “done” for “them” lol.
@Melo-as a person who has been in the same situation as Thick I can honestly say it’s NOT about what you are wearing-it is about CONTROL & trying to control & manipulate that person. If they had such a problem with your manner of dress than why did they approach you or attempt to establish a relationship in the first place?
By Page1908
May 23, 2006 11:57 AM | Link to this
Hey Everyone!
Walking in with my SUNS jersey on…rolling eyes busting up laughin’ at Runnin…ummm yeah…no comment dude…lol….yeah you know that game was soooo bananas!!
Hey Fyre Yeah girl, we live to fight another day…look out Dallas:) gasp
Hey Gavi, Mista, Third, QC, and Jazzy
By runninatl
May 23, 2006 11:57 AM | Link to this
Sidelines Please step away from the dj booth!…lol. You late, I got this…lol. Ok, I’m going to lunch so you can take over for a sec…hehehehe.
By SexyLeggs
May 23, 2006 11:58 AM | Link to this
Good morning neighbors…you guys are hysterical. I dated a wannabe stripper with a drop dead gorgeous body. I will never go that route again….he spent more time toning himself than toning me…..
By LahLah
May 23, 2006 11:59 AM | Link to this
runnin thanks for the dedication. Since you got that Frankie Beverly and Maze on, play a little, “Happy Feelings!”
Happy feelings in the air.
Sidelines I think it’s sweet that he smells my hair, don’t laugh at my boo. He’s romantic like that. LOL!!!
MB Great comment. I’ve been known to pack me extra hair on vacations and weekend rendevous, “just in case.” You right, a man will have to just except it.
By MB
May 23, 2006 11:59 AM | Link to this
Lahlah If all else fails just take your weave out in front of him and lay it on top of the dresser lol.
By chink
May 23, 2006 12:00 PM | Link to this
^5 Thick
I hear ya LOUD and CLEAR
By Tazzee
May 23, 2006 12:01 PM | Link to this
Greetings from Brussels!
I’ve never pretended to like something just for my mate. I am willing to try new things though and if I don’t like them, I let the guy know. Wait, I take that back - I have pretended like I couldn’t cook when meeting men because I didn’t want to deal with the mentality that I should be cooking for them.
By LahLah
May 23, 2006 12:08 PM | Link to this
gavi sup girl. You’re right it isn’t a big deal to me but I think he has some kind of hair fettish. I told ya’ll last week that he said he was going to scratch my dandruff, wash my hair and grease my scalp. Dang, now that I think about it, he does have some kind of hair and scalp fettish.
runnin I’m requesting, Reasons by Earth Wind and Fire. Did you already play that? Hell, play it again! please and thank you
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 12:09 PM | Link to this
@ LahLah—hmm that is a seriously tough dilemma gyrl! Even I would not even have the heart to tell him! DAYUM!
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 12:13 PM | Link to this
@Tazzee-lol You TOO with the Cooking??? Wow I thought I was the only one that did that because that made it all too easy for men to say well I’m going to come over tonight instead of hey baby we are going OUT tonight or even I would LOVE to cook some dinner for you after your busy day sweetheart! Dayum, like BBD “I thought it was me”!
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 12:14 PM | Link to this
@LahLah umm PLEASE don’t do that! You would end of traumatizing that poor sweet man for LIFE lol! Break it to him GENTLY.
By db
May 23, 2006 12:15 PM | Link to this
Hey blogmates! Let’s see… what I can’t work with? I’ve said this plenty of times before, but I’m going to avoid dating a woman with a kid. Been there, done that; I’ll try not to do it again. It just causes unnecessary problems, so I’ll just avoid it altogether. Let’s see… I prefer not to date a woman who is overweight. It’s not 100% a superficial issue with me; it’s more of a lifestyle choice. I need a woman who has similar eating and workout habits as myself.
I’ve changed myself for love; I think everyone has before. I’ll probably do it again if the right person comes along. I’m NOT going to completely do a personality change for a woman, but I’ll definitely make sacrifices.
By THE INFAMOUS DK
May 23, 2006 12:15 PM | Link to this
Good Day
There is one major thing I will never do again and that is get married.. Ha! Its a complete waste of time and money. So until I meet my future companion and we can have that fundamental understanding of no marriage then its nothing.. I am completely resigned to living like Hugh Hefner in a house with three girlfriends, taking Viagra till I go blind and a boatload of cash.. .. Leaving everything to my sole Heir, The Dude my Son..
By Sidelines
May 23, 2006 12:16 PM | Link to this
runnin, not trying to step on anyones toes…lol! But, I’ll cover a brutha’ while you get yah’ grub on. But, hurry back a sistah’s gotta eat too! lol..covering for admin as well, so (sigh) take yah’ time.
Lahlah, girl I ain’t even mad at you…I get all kinds of compliments on the pony tail and how sexy it is…so, do what you do! :)
MB, you wrong for that…lol!
fillin’ in for the dj a moment and playin’ “Happy Feelings” by Maze, requests are welcomed!
By Page1908
May 23, 2006 12:16 PM | Link to this
LOL LahLah that is sooo hilarious! Girl, he probably already knows you have a weave. I think some women are under the impression that dudes don’t know, but I think sometimes they do know. It might not be that big of a deal..you never know.
LOL @ scratching dandruff..YUCK! lmao:)
By MB
May 23, 2006 12:18 PM | Link to this
Cooking is no big deal if I like you (alot). Heck you bring the groceries I’ll cook dinner.
By QC
May 23, 2006 12:20 PM | Link to this
Runnin you got me closing my eyes, singing in my head, and waving my hands left to right!
Hey Page aks Miss Suns 2006
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 23, 2006 12:20 PM | Link to this
Gavi Girl I go to the LA Fitness in Clayton County and I ain’t trying to meet ANYONE up in there… One day I thought I was at Club 112 …. When I was in the pool area one day I thought I heard Gun shot… I had to hide under water till I felt safe to come back up….CampCreek should be open in two more weeks…. Thank you Jesus!!
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 23, 2006 12:22 PM | Link to this
What’s up Page
By melo
May 23, 2006 12:26 PM | Link to this
Whwn we planning to go out to a function or event, my girl and i will talk on the phone sometimes and she asks what i will be wearing. She tries to cordinate with me, if she has something appropriate. Or she may just ask just to see what fits the occassion. As her mate, i dont see a problem with her bouncing her ideas off me or me oof her.And because she is fashion conscious(not in any expensive way) and takes dressing seriously, sometimes its not uncommon for each one of us to “critique” each other a bit, in a light hearted way when we meet. She dresses good and has high self esteem so she never feels put down by my light hearted comments. I know it feels good to be complimented and to compliment ladies when they dress good. What do u say when your date is dressed so inappropriately or sloppyly? Just be mum and not return her calls next time. More often than not, u notice a girl when shes dressed good and then only find out about the personality later.
By Tazzee
May 23, 2006 12:27 PM | Link to this
That’s the thing MB - IF I like you. Guys usually ask the first or second conversation if I cook. I don’t lie, they usually say ‘do you cook?’ and not ‘can you cook?’ I’ve learned if I tell them I can, they start expecting it. So I hold that in until it gets to the point where I want to cook for a man.
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 23, 2006 12:29 PM | Link to this
Ok where do I begin…..
-First I shelled out $2000 for a dating service to meet men… The only men I meet was old enough to be my father… Yuck… I met this guy online and he wasn’t what he said he was…. (what a shock) I dated him anyway because I feel in love with his car… but he was morbidly obese and had a small wang wang.
-Then I dated this dude at my job… He was an ex Marine…. Thought he was hot and he was from Trinidad. Come to find out he was a looser who used me and my credit cards and then ended up becoming my boss and becoming engaged to his ex girlfriend who ended up beating his son….
Then my friends hooked me up with this Asian/Chinese dude who head was bigger than my 27 inch television set. Found out that my pinky was bigger than his entire wang wang and he was dismissed….
Needless to say I won’t date people with kids period, I didn’t use to date black guys but I am starting to come around, and I don’t date people who do drugs and that includes weed and those nasty A$$ cigarettes… I don’t know what they are called but they smell like day old booty….. YUCK!!!
By LaLa
May 23, 2006 12:31 PM | Link to this
Good Afternoon all….I was seeing this guy briefly & decided it was no longer what I want…he’s a really great guy but I just couldn’t make myself feel for him like he felt for me…..he even gave me a break thinking that I would change my mind…didn;t happen…I though we could at least be platonic friends because I really like him as a person…well he tried again & I decline & now he says he doesn’t want to hear from me again..So why is it that some guys cannot just be friends after dating or whatnot….
By G
May 23, 2006 12:33 PM | Link to this
@frye&MB…The “divorce” thing goes for men also. I’ve tried to date Ms. Divorce, Ms. Manykids, and Ms. Rebound, and none of those worked. There are so many Ms. Divorced and Ms. Manykids in Atl. Being that I don’t have any kids and have never been married, that serves as another mark for something we don’t have in common. Historically, I don’t date women with more than one kid, but my preference is if she didn’t have any. Reason being, I don’t have any.
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 12:34 PM | Link to this
@3rd OMG you KILLED it with that last post. WTH did ALL that come from & could you PLEASE send it back to where it came from & QUICKLY???? lol Gyrl I have TEARS IN MY EYES FROM THAT!!!
By Ms.Elusive
May 23, 2006 12:36 PM | Link to this
you jog, I will walk, and we will meet at the Dairy Queen
I know that’s right girl! LMAO @Kym
By chuck
May 23, 2006 12:38 PM | Link to this
The way I see it the beauty is inthe eyes of the beholder ,so that why i fall in love every day and sometime every hour and i can see myself growing old with some of the ATL fine women ,but I can not coment to just one.
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 12:39 PM | Link to this
@G—I agree with you. Like feels Like. As a NON-Divorced, NON-Many Kids or ANY KIDS for that matter woman I can tell you from experience, the pendulum swings both ways here. We are out there just a little bit harder to find is all.
By QC
May 23, 2006 12:40 PM | Link to this
lmao @ 3rd “wang wang” & “thang thang” must be brothers
By Thick
May 23, 2006 12:40 PM | Link to this
It is not that love will not change my idea about cooking or my attire. I have just come to understand that I am single and I am going to enjoy my singleness while I can. I’m sure one day I will fall in love and cook in stilletos if necessary (lol), maybe even four days per week, but right now I will not! He may even be able to lightheartedly tell me about my clothes but these days I am protective of having my own identity and I plan to be me.
Third you sound miserabel girl we may need to have a side bar, that 12:29 post brought tears to my eyes.
By MB
May 23, 2006 12:45 PM | Link to this
G You get no argumant from me. Like you I have never been married and dont have kids. I also prefer men with no kids however based on the number of men in Atlanta with kids I had to change it to no more then 1 child. I dont know about you but I always find it very disturbing when a man has a bunch of kids and has never been married. The trend seems to be these men have a gang of kids and a bunch of different baby mamas in tow also. To me that says alot about a person when they are in that situation.
By SHIMMIE
May 23, 2006 12:49 PM | Link to this
Hi Y’all.
I never say never because I believe that folks will do things they never thought they would do if they are in a certain mindset or situation. As much as I’d like to think that I’m immune to acting a certain way or doing certain things, I can’t say that I wouldn’t do something bananas if I wasn’t thinking straight. (I mean, most folks don’t set out to be crackheads, lifetime prostitutes or homeless and begging on the street — something usually happens in their lives.)
There are plenty of things that I HOPE I never think are okay to do in love:
Shacking up
Staying with a man for 7 years (or some other unacceptable amount of time, given my age) without him marrying me.
Letting a man abuse my unborn children.
Giving up the coochie to a man I don’t like just for some dough.
Sleeping with a another woman’s husband.
Financially supporting a lazy brotha who doesn’t want to get out and get somethin.
Accepting physical or mental abuse.
By 2 can play that game©
May 23, 2006 12:49 PM | Link to this
3rd…..your self esteem can’t possibly be that low, can it?
By Sidelines
May 23, 2006 12:51 PM | Link to this
@FyreStarrter…3rd, please no more, lol! Ok, I have to do this one….
Just for you, 3rd, now playing…”Joy, Pain” by Maze! “It’s like sunshine and rain…lol”!
On a more serious note, 3rd…sorry to hear that you’ve gone through so much, especially the “wang, wang” thang….woowee, too funny!
I truly needed to laugh today, I just want to say “Thank You” to each and every one on this blog, you all truly make my day when the going gets tough here at work, again, thanks
Now, where we’re we…where is runnin’, now I know he don’ inhaled that sam’mich by now! He did say a sec, right?
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 12:54 PM | Link to this
@Thick-GYRL we need to help 3rd get out ALOT more after she comes back from Panama City Beach- Because WOW I STILL have tears in my eyes from that line of commentary!! LOL We must help a fellow dater in need & QUICK!!! I also feel you on that identity issue because again it’s really all about control & if they don’t have control of you & who you are then they obvioulsy are not winning that war.
By LahLah
May 23, 2006 12:55 PM | Link to this
MB girl you are a trip. I’m not going to put my hair on the dresser. When I get it redone. I’m going to put the old hair in one of those Walmart plastic bags and let him take it home!!! LMAO
By QC
May 23, 2006 12:55 PM | Link to this
Hey MissFyre got your email, so check yours also….i’m off to a “phone training class” just something new for us to mess up, i’ll check back later….
Hey 2 i was wondering where you were today..
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 12:57 PM | Link to this
@Shimmie—wow those are deep thoughts. It’s true that we can never REALLY say what we will & will not do for love, BUT I think that what we can do is shore ourselves up for the fight so that if those scenarios do come up, that we have the b*alls to defend ourselves & do what we know is best for us.
By runninatl
May 23, 2006 12:59 PM | Link to this
The dj is back. Good lookin out Sidelines, you can go grub now.
It’s dedication time. Now playing: “DJ Play a Love Song”, by Jamie Foxx
For Third- “True Man”, by Jagged Edge (leave the cyper pimpin alone$$$…lol)
For *LaLa- “Lovers and Friends”, by Usher, Lil Jon, and Ludacris (after we hit we ain’t just trying to be cool…lol*)
For Sidelines- “Adore”, by Prince
For Tazzee- “Girl Next Door”,, by Musiq Soulchild
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 12:59 PM | Link to this
@3rd GYRL I dedicate to you “No More Drama” by the beautiful & been there done that Mary J. Blige. Enjoy & Reflect!
By melo
May 23, 2006 01:02 PM | Link to this
‘It is not that love will not change my idea about cooking or my attire. I have just come to understand that I am single and I am going to enjoy my singleness while I can. I’m sure one day I will fall in love and cook in stilletos if necessary (lol), maybe even four days per week, but right now I will not!-Thick
Thank u for keeping it real.Those in luv will tell u, thats a true and passionate statement and most here will be in this category someday when in luv.
So ladies, stop the fronting.Luv can conquer anything, i mean anything!!!!
By SeanJohnson
May 23, 2006 01:02 PM | Link to this
not to step on any of the females toes..but finsishing what u start goes both ways..if you want men to continue to romance you ..whine and dine you..please continue to be dressed and cute ..hair done etc…when we come around..scarfs on the head and ponty tails are only sxy at breakfast the next morning.And i am not even going to comment on how many women can’t cook these days. ..i threw a rock so i am running home. lol… but on the real. i think we will be better off in the dating pool if we stop trying to date in waters we are not comfortable swimming in. women tend to date up in class …men tend to date down…which means when the smoke clears who’s to say you even can hold a decent conversation with that person let alone be with them. So you if you can only dog paddle please stay in 3ft don’t get caught in 12
By THE INFAMOUS DK
May 23, 2006 01:03 PM | Link to this
Support Wildlife Stay Single.. I dont like being safe, I enjoy on the edge and living everyday as if it were my last.. I also have a hard time taking the easy way.. Balls to the wall, whether its 170mph on 285 or jumpin on a flight to anywhere when I feel like it appeals to me. I have always enjoyed not having to explain anything to anyone and for me to get married was against everything I stood for.. My Ex and I are cool because she knew I honestly loved her to try something I was always against and she also knew it was a matter of time before I couldnt be fake anymore.. I honestly know now that I am not the marrying type.. I know its someone out there that feels the same way I do and has a zest to experience as much as they can before they kick the bucket, because I will have no regrets about what i shoulda, coulda or woulda did when I am 80 Lord willin..
By Kym
May 23, 2006 01:05 PM | Link to this
@3rd Honey first dont have a pity party. Those are just as the song says “Live and Learn situations” and while they my seem wild to some. Believe me there are plenty of folks with some stuff in their past lives they would want to air out. So I comend you on your open expression of it. Better out than in. Now my first suggest is to get yourself a theme song. Mine currently is “Sista Big Bones by Anthony Hamilton. Play that song in your head when you walk, when you sleep and when you eat. It helps build confidence and rid the cobwebs of bad experience from your psyche.
By Jazzyone
May 23, 2006 01:09 PM | Link to this
**@infam DK…yes..Im feeling that….really feeling that…
Wuz up everyone…back to lurksville….
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 01:13 PM | Link to this
@SeanJohnson-Oh there is no doubt that the real ladies I KNOW will invest heavily in keeping up appearances & taking care of our bodies-ourselves. I disagree though with you when you say Men tend to date down in class. EMPHATICALLY sir! I think we are all attracted to a person on different levels for different reasons-but within the past year I have had more trying to step UP in the world approach me like I am some kind of dayum ladder lol. Please believe MOST of us 12 footers-Really belong in the 18 foot section but there are more people in the 12! LOL But for real around here it’s difficult to get some men to start ANYTHING let alone try to FINISH something. Why did I go out on a date with a slightly younger man (1 year OK??? lol) this weekend & was treated with respect & he was a perfect gentleman but the ones just a few years older than me want to act like they have their manties in a bunch??? LOL
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 01:14 PM | Link to this
@Melo—If LOVE could conquer anything than why do the ones who love the hardest get beat down the most?
By LahLah
May 23, 2006 01:15 PM | Link to this
3rd $2000 on a dating service? Girl, we need to have a come to Jesus meeting with you. Are you that desperate? I hate to be harsh but get a grip,grabbing you by the shoulders and shaken you really hard. I’ve suggested to you before, focus on YOU. Focus on improving YOU! Make YOURSELF first priority, not finding a man. Don’t get me wrong, it ain’t nothing like being in the company of a good, fine, sexy, intellegent, man, but it will come. Seems like you got a lot of work to do while you are waiting on it.
“Priority determines focus. Focus determines what gets done.”
By Ms.Elusive
May 23, 2006 01:17 PM | Link to this
Trouble is if we are doing either of those it’s NOT really a relationship is it?
@Fyrestarter - Sorry just caught this your 10:51 post, cause of the name. lol You mean if one person is giving either all or nothing it’s not a relationship? Well… that is a very interesting statement. When is it a relationship? 90/10? 80/20? 70/30? ‘cause 50/50 is a bonafide pipe dream. Who can honestly say that have equal contribution? My mom (who is pretty wise.. my earlier comments aside) says that in a relationship, one person is always going to be more into the other, so let it be them. wink
By LahLah
May 23, 2006 01:17 PM | Link to this
Preach! Fyre Preach! (1:14 comment)
By Tom
May 23, 2006 01:17 PM | Link to this
runnin How bout playing “I want a lover that won’t drive me crazy”
By MB
May 23, 2006 01:18 PM | Link to this
Sean Johnson applause I second that for men and women. My grandmom always said, “Whatever you did to get me you have to keep doing to keep me.” So its always best to just be whoever you are from the door because you cant change the rules to the game in the 9th inning.
By Jewel
May 23, 2006 01:20 PM | Link to this
Good afternoon Everyone!
Change is good…when it is necessary. We need to ask whether or not the change will enhance our lives. If Mr. Man is controlling and wants to give you a complete makeover, find the nearest exit.
I do not think anyone should pretend to like something just to get a man or woman. Do you really have that person? How long can you continue the charade? Are they really worth not being true to self? You can have different interests and still maintain a healthy relationship.
Personally, I can cook and no, I don’t like to cook everyday. My daughter is away in college and I don’t have to. But, I do not mind cooking frequently for my man. He has diabetes and I understand the benefits of healthy eating. He now eats more fresh vegetables and fruits. In fact, I educated myself on diabetes when we started dating. A person does not have to experience the harsh effects of diabetes if they manage it properly: diet, exercise and medication. That’s a change I am willing to make for “us.” His health improves and I get to have him around much longer – healthy, virile…
By SHIMMIE
May 23, 2006 01:20 PM | Link to this
FYRE
Well said. That’s all a person can really do - just try to stay strong at the critical moments.
For me, it helps me to remind myself that while I generally exercise good judgment, the bottom line is that I’m only a person and just as succeptible to doing silly woman stuff as any body else. Being aware of this succeptibility makes me more mindful of staying out of crazy situations.
Hll, how do I know that some cat won’t make me mad enough to flip the fk out and run his a over with an SUV? Or, throw all is ish in a dumpster and light the muthafcka up? Or say, “Yeah, this is your baby, when I know dern well that ain’t true? Lol. I don’t know! I just hope my mind never thinks that junk is okay.
By LahLah
May 23, 2006 01:22 PM | Link to this
Tom that ain’t no real song!
By Sidelines
May 23, 2006 01:24 PM | Link to this
^5 @Fyre…!
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 23, 2006 01:25 PM | Link to this
* @ Fyre 12:45 post* Your welcome… LOL it’s all true…
By LahLah
May 23, 2006 01:26 PM | Link to this
OOHH OOOH runnin
Back down memory lane, by Minnie Rippeton.
I know it’s old school. I’m only 27 but I can appreciate it.
By runninatl
May 23, 2006 01:26 PM | Link to this
Now playing: For DK- “All by myself”, by Celine Dion…lol
For Thick- “Soon as I get home from work”, by Babyface (for the cooking in stilettos comment…lol)
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 23, 2006 01:26 PM | Link to this
QC I think they are blood brothers…..
By gavi1126
May 23, 2006 01:27 PM | Link to this
@ 3rd - Girl..u are makin my day making me laught like crazy today!! I hope u’re not talkin bout that eharmony thing u had joined??? sighhhhh @ RunninA - Yo DJ, can i request ” U’re the most beautiful girl in the world” by Prince?? Thanks @ Lah Lah - lol..well, u should just let him do his thing with u’re scalp and while he’s up there..ummm… break it down.. the good side is that, he can still do all of what he wants…regardless!! feel me?
@ Page - how r ya!! r u laughin crazy like moi or wut?
By SeanJohnson
May 23, 2006 01:27 PM | Link to this
@FyreStarrter.. i stand corrected…i should’ve said men dont put as much into class in the begginning. Sounds like you need an olympic size pool ..lol
By ShyGirl
May 23, 2006 01:27 PM | Link to this
Hello, everyone… .
I’ve been lurking all day today… .
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 23, 2006 01:28 PM | Link to this
Thick I need a Bar period… Come FRIDAY!!
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 23, 2006 01:29 PM | Link to this
Sidelines I love Maze.. that’s my jam…
By storm
May 23, 2006 01:29 PM | Link to this
WHAT IT DO BLOGGERS!! I lurk more than I chirp, but I have some cosigning to do today. MelS I feel your 10:23 post-I settled and married for simular reasons and he was 14 yrs my sr.HUGE mistake! Not enough viagra, niagra, whateva! And yes there are women with healthy appetites that must be satiated and no matter how wonderful he is, it won’t compensate for lacking in that department. ShimmieI feel ya on your list of standards and I wish I could say I’ve managed not to compromise on any of them, but one of them I am guilty of and I learned a long time ago NEVER TO SAY NEVER because you will end up eating those words!3rd I’m so sorry you’ve been through so much. Don’t let that stuff make you, unless it makes you stronger and wiser. Keep your head up, Girl!
By Tom
May 23, 2006 01:32 PM | Link to this
LahLah, yep Pat Benetar and John Mellencamp did it.
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 23, 2006 01:33 PM | Link to this
Thanks for my songs Fyre and Runnin!! I was thinking of some songs like Short Short Man by MaxaMillion or Head by Prince… LOL
By Page1908
May 23, 2006 01:35 PM | Link to this
Hey Gavi girl, you know I am CTFU right now…expecially at Third…lawd $2,000 on a dating service?! fainting
By runninatl
May 23, 2006 01:35 PM | Link to this
Tom I had to research this one but to prove that we are a diverse blog, just for you:
Now playing “I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy”, by John Cougar Mellancamp
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 23, 2006 01:38 PM | Link to this
@Lah Lah.. Thanks for the adive! I was 19 when I spent 2000 grand for some loving… I was suckerd in by that company Great Expections….
By gavi1126
May 23, 2006 01:39 PM | Link to this
Wusssup DB.. whatever u said @ 12:15 was soo cute..awww.. Since i literally visit gym everyday, i expect my man to atleast know where’s one at.. i can teach him how to use it maybe..lol..
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 01:44 PM | Link to this
@ Ms.Elusive(sorry about the faux paus earlier lol) I agree that 50/50 is more difficult to obtain-So lets go with no less of a ratio that 55 45 ok lol? I mean I agree with you wholeheartedly that one partner is almost always going to be more active in the relationship & trying to make it work than the other but a gyrl can dream can’t she? lol
By Psycho Belle
May 23, 2006 01:44 PM | Link to this
Afternoon, bloggers! At times in the past, I have been known to give in to a guy that I really didn’t want, because he really really wanted me. I don’t intend to ever do that again.
Now, this is off topic, but I have a question for all of you. Mr. Psycho has a long-standing complaint about me: I take too long to get ready. So I thought it would be cool to benchmark with you and see how long it takes you or your lady to get ready — let’s say to go out on a date — assuming “getting ready” includes taking a shower, getting dressed, and putting on makeup or fixing hair if applicable.
By gavi1126
May 23, 2006 01:46 PM | Link to this
@ Page - u know!! geez.. FYI for 3rd.. i would’ve done that for free!! i mean.. guurrll.. I feel u on wanting to meet the right folks, but sometimes, with a little more effort it can be achieved without spending that mula on a dating service. U know, how many cute things u could’ve bought at bebe with that.. i sure could use a drink on that line..
By runninatl
May 23, 2006 01:46 PM | Link to this
Now playing for Shimmie and her 1:20 post:
“Crazy in love”, by Beyonce
For gavi- “The most beautiful girl in the world” followed by “Purple Rain”, by Prince
By LahLah
May 23, 2006 01:47 PM | Link to this
My man is 6’3” with the six pack and all. He is fine! The man has it going on even with the hair and scalp fettish. He eats really healthy all the time. I eat healthy too but not like him (I like an occasional #6 meal from Wendy’s) so sometimes when were out to dinner and I really want to order a pasta dish but I see him ordering broiled fish and steamed veggies, I feel bad. So now I’ve been ordering salads for dinner meals and crap like that. So I must say that I’ve made some adjustments because of my relationship with him but they are good adjustments. It’s not always a bad thing when you change behavior patterns while in a relationship. It could turn out to be a positive thing.
Now when I marry this dude, if I were to start breaking out the honey buns 3 times a day then that’s a problem.
By Tom
May 23, 2006 01:48 PM | Link to this
Thanks runnin. Words to live by lol!
By MB
May 23, 2006 01:48 PM | Link to this
Something 3rd said just got me thinking. I have found there are some men who feel compelled to tell you how big their trusty side kick is. Now when I hear a man say this I often wonder, 1. Why does he think this is a selling point because as women we arent stupid we know some men lie? 2. What inspired you to break out the tape measure to get those particular statistic in the first place? I mean you dont see women shoving rulers up private places to see how deep something is. 3. If you dont look at other men (because they all claim they never have) and you have never measured, umm how do you know the size?
As women we know long before any artical of clothing gets removed if a man meets whatever our personal size requirements are. If he doesnt meet what we like why do some of us proceed with the act anyway? Its like for warned is for armed. You already know you probably wont be satisfied so why put yourself thought it?
By gavi1126
May 23, 2006 01:49 PM | Link to this
@ Psycho Bell - It only takes me about 40 minutes to look good ( as heck ) and bout 25 to look cute!! I take much less than guys do!!
By LahLah
May 23, 2006 01:49 PM | Link to this
gotcha Tom guess I just never heard it.
By SHIMMIE
May 23, 2006 01:51 PM | Link to this
HI STORM!
Most folks will probably admit that we’ve compromised in areas that, maybe, we should not have. So, you may be “guilty,” but … h&ll … who isn’t?
The more I live life, the more I understand how easy it can be to do some of those things I believe are silly or unacceptable. Especially living here in Atlanta, I see how easy it is for women to fall in love with married men; I see how women can be sleeping with a variety of men, then get jacked up cuz they don’t know who the father of their baby is. It doesn’t change the fact that it’s a REALLY bad idea and f’ed up situation to get oneself into. I’m just more understanding these days. I can neva eva eva say neva.
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 01:51 PM | Link to this
@ShyGirl -Good Afternoon Luv!
@Storm-What’s up sweetheart, how are things???
@3rd WOW I haven’t heard the name Great Expectations in about 6 or so years. Ok NOW I understand where you are coming from with that large purchase. But for real gyrl we gotta work on you I agree with LahLah—-work on you first & then the rest will flow real nice.
@SeanJohnson-Yeah boo I do need an olympic, those laps are great for ya but killer lol!
By runninatl
May 23, 2006 01:52 PM | Link to this
Now playing for Jewel- “Holding back the years”, by Simply Red
By MB
May 23, 2006 01:53 PM | Link to this
PsychoBelle It takes me a little over an hour if its just a regular date nothing special and that includes showering, hair, makeup and ironing if needed. If its a more special/formal event Two hours easily.
By SHIMMIE
May 23, 2006 01:53 PM | Link to this
AT RUNNIN
Good lookin out. Thanks. LOL.
By melo
May 23, 2006 01:54 PM | Link to this
@FyreStarrter™ Luv is a two way thing. U can luv somebody hard but they may not luv u as hard.Its hard to know, u can only play it as u go.But see how those that luv hard and are genuine will do anything for luv.Thats my point.
By LahLah
May 23, 2006 01:55 PM | Link to this
3rd I guess the service “Great Expectations” didn’t meet your expectations! lol lol lol
Laughing with you, not at you.
Girl, I guess it’s true, you live and you learn.
runnin wouldn’t it be fitting to play
What you won’t do for love. Not sure who sings it but you like to hear it? Here it go…….
what you won’t do, do for love, you’ve tried everything but you can’t give up. In my world only you, make me do for love what I would not do.
Play dat!!!
By demigod33
May 23, 2006 01:56 PM | Link to this
Good Afternoon all
I thought about giving you all a break from my foolish behavor…SSShhhyyyttt!!
Demigod runs wild through AJC blog!
My motto for life: What you see is what you get! I change for no one, period!
Yeahhh! Now how you like them apple!
how eat bad for your health chinese food: chicken wings and fried rice
By MB
May 23, 2006 01:56 PM | Link to this
gavi Great shoppers think alike when she said that earlier I was thinking about how many pairs of shoes I could have purchased with that money lol.
By time for the truth
May 23, 2006 01:57 PM | Link to this
I’ll do almost anything for love … except date a pinko liberal lefty, a christian nutter or a Yankee, Mets or Red Sox fan!!
As I’m happily married to a secular Reagan Republican Braves fan its kind of redundant anyway!
By LahLah
May 23, 2006 01:58 PM | Link to this
MB girl you got me laughing over here!
NEVER TRUST A GUY WHO CLAIMS TO HAVE A BIG WANG WANG UNLESS YOU’VE SEEN IT FOR YOURSELF!
By runninatl
May 23, 2006 02:01 PM | Link to this
Now playing for Storm and her 1:29 post:
“Freak me”, by Silk followed by “Bump and grind and Body’s Callin Me”, by R. Kelly (for that viagra, niagra comment…lmao)
By Kym
May 23, 2006 02:03 PM | Link to this
Maybe the theme song for today’s topic should be”When it comes to love” by Phil Perry.
By demigod33
May 23, 2006 02:05 PM | Link to this
THE INFAMOUS DK on 103pm post: amen bro! Just becareful cops or out, I have 12point on my licence. Guess speeding caught up with me.
3rd: smile girl!
runnin thank for holding it down
Dayum! chinese man can cook
By SHIMMIE
May 23, 2006 02:08 PM | Link to this
Who is Phil Perry?
By G
May 23, 2006 02:08 PM | Link to this
I tend to think both men and women “date down”. I’m in my mid 30s, but I’m at a different place than women my age. Most, not all, women my age have been married, have at least one child, and were more physically marketable 5-7 years ago. To find more marketable women, I tend to “date down” in age. I’m experiencing the trend of women in their mid-late 20s dating up.
By Janae
May 23, 2006 02:11 PM | Link to this
DEMI So true…I did it in my last relationship and all it got me was a broken heart…..Still tryingto get over it….But, I will…You live and learn. What want kill you will make you stronger and the next dude, may catch hell….
By Ms.Elusive
May 23, 2006 02:13 PM | Link to this
@ FyreStarrter™ - No prob girl. And yes! A girl can definately dream, but until that dream comes true… nothing wrong with being on the receiving end of the excess. grins
By Kym
May 23, 2006 02:14 PM | Link to this
@G “Physically Marketable?” What kind of term is that something you would describe in selecting a horse or cow maybe?
By runninatl
May 23, 2006 02:15 PM | Link to this
G I had to think about it and now I agree with your last post.
Tom No problem, blog fam.
Kym I need you to back away from the dj booth please….lol
Now playing for LahLah * Third- “What you won’t do for love”, by Bobby Caldwell
By Kym
May 23, 2006 02:16 PM | Link to this
@ Shimmie Phil Perry sings Smooth Jazz.
By demigod33
May 23, 2006 02:17 PM | Link to this
1970’s Player voice: It should be all about love and happyness, baby come and smoke the natural green with me!
*now playing Brother Johnson’s Stawberry Letter 23
By SHIMMIE
May 23, 2006 02:24 PM | Link to this
THX KYM
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 02:26 PM | Link to this
@Psycho Bell, it really depends on the event in question (is it formal, casual, etc) BUT I can honestly say I can usually get ready faster than most men lol. Usually showered & perfumed down in 20 & dressed in 10. I think it’s the military brat in me & all those drills me Dad had me run when I was little lol.
By Jazzyone
May 23, 2006 02:31 PM | Link to this
Runnin can you play unbreak my heart..by Toni B for me…thanks boo!
On the topic..If I am dealing with ‘him’ and want to change some things fine I’ll do it as long as it doesn’t compromise my integrity or morals etc…hell Ive changed things and evolved in many ways from my experiences. Even if things didn’t work out you work through the pain, try not to become jaded and keep it moving. Hell to have a drop of love in life is better than none at all…
By Kym
May 23, 2006 02:31 PM | Link to this
Or maybe some BB King would be good as well. “I Pay the Cost to Be the Boss”
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 02:31 PM | Link to this
@G yeah I sort of have to agree with you that that is true in most cases. Marketability does tend to go down with age on BOTH sides of the spectrum again the pendulum swings both way.
By SeanJohnson
May 23, 2006 02:32 PM | Link to this
@G….i feel you…dont hit them with too much reality. you are on point with thta marketable range….i am 30 and most women around my age will tell you up front they want to something serious and or be married soon which is a complete turn off. And if they dont have kids…WATCH OUT…they will be keepint of track of when they ovulate. But on the flip side being the equal opportunity dater that i am..i dont mind if a female have a kid(s). But lately in ATL its like Irag with all the drama the ex’s and baby daddy’s are coming with. I think i need a bullet proof vest and a permit to carry a gun to date single mothers.
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 02:34 PM | Link to this
@Gavi & LahLah we need an intervention gyrl for our fallen comrade 3rd & QUICK!!! To the GyrlPower Range Rover Sport & QUICK!
By G
May 23, 2006 02:37 PM | Link to this
@ kymA horse?LOL! Ever heard of that song Donkey-butt? Physically Marketable for “G” means she’s fine; hair done up, not too much makeup, a couple of curves; looks of a healthy body; and anything else I find physically attractive about a woman. That’s all you have to go on, before you even say “hello”.
By "Longtime Lurker"
May 23, 2006 02:39 PM | Link to this
WWWD..translation (What Would Wise Do?)
By olderandwiser
May 23, 2006 02:41 PM | Link to this
Hey all y’all, especially new bloggers. I’ve seen some good things here today and appreciate the learning experience.
Things I‘ve done for love that I won’t ever do again, with lessons learned:
Change myself to be what I thought he wanted and/or to show my interest. I did this when I was very young but learned quickly that being who I am and knowing what I like is far more important. Let yourself learn what your parameters are through experience. However, knowing when to compromise, and when to learn something new or do something differently, is just as important as standing your ground. Know the difference; then make your decision.
Learn an uncommon language just to impress his mother. Communicating in one’s native tongue is difficult enough without needing another just to ask someone to please pass the salt. But it’s useful knowledge that’s come in handy. Now have a shelf of foreign language tapes and CDs.
Date someone dealing with addiction issues. He has to help himself; you can’t do that for him.
Date someone with legal or financial problems. See above, then show him the door. If he asks for your help with them, push him out. Luckily I knew better than to do this; I learned by observing other women lower their self-esteem and their bank accounts for losers.
Date a man just out of a LTR or engagement. Needs at least six months to get over it. Counseling to resolve his issues a plus, can speed up the timetable.
Date a man with a child or children out of wedlock. Sorry, no date possible. Too much drama, too many legal issues.
Date a newly divorced man. Must be divorced at least one year before first date if childless. Add 1-2 years for each child under 18. Note: his getting counseling to resolve his issues a must, will speed up the process.
Date a new widower. See above. Requires greater delicacy, empathy and patience, can be very rewarding.
Marry without a pre-nup. This legality was unknown back when I first married, so the divorce was more costly for me than it was for him. Now that I have acquired considerable assets and will have minor stepchildren when I marry again, it’s a practical necessity and protection for all involved.
By gavi1126
May 23, 2006 02:42 PM | Link to this
@ RunninA - thank u boo!! Its making my day..that song!!
By Ms.Elusive
May 23, 2006 02:42 PM | Link to this
Usually showered & perfumed down in 20 & dressed in 10
@Fyrestarter Okay… I’m hatin’
By gavi1126
May 23, 2006 02:44 PM | Link to this
@MB - lol.. sadly that’s how i look at my expenses..to how much shoppin that waste of money could i been doing..
By Kym
May 23, 2006 02:44 PM | Link to this
@A Little Tina Turner does the trick to. “Open Arms” great song.
@ The 30 something men pool. I always wonder they are finding these baby daddy, drama mama women. “physical unmarketable women”(okay I cant use that term it is just idiotic) Either the 30something women you are meeting are already @ the bottom and you are just scraping your way up. Because I know quite a few 30 something single mothers who have their lives together and very little drama. An are quite happy in their own skin.
By runninatl
May 23, 2006 02:46 PM | Link to this
I’m out, ya’ll be easy and have a blessed one.
Jazzy My boy demi got you.
demigod You got the dj booth now son.
By gavi1126
May 23, 2006 02:46 PM | Link to this
@ Fyre - I’m ready and armed to go!! Also i did order us some low-fat Starbucks to go!! Shot gun!
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 02:46 PM | Link to this
@SeanJohnson BOY have you been meeting some desperate women! Where have you been going luv, the swap meet @ little 5 points lol? Not every woman in that age category wants to marry & kid & cordone off your behind lol. But to be fair what’s the deal with you, what are you trying to be the old player in the club or something lol?
By gavi1126
May 23, 2006 02:49 PM | Link to this
@ old & wiser - thank goodness..i didn’t go through none of that ..and well looks like i’m not missin out on nothing!! only one, i would disagree with is the language one.. i dont’ mind learning something new..
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 02:50 PM | Link to this
@G all I gotta say is uh oh Dude—-DUCK!
By MB
May 23, 2006 02:52 PM | Link to this
SeanJohnson Thats not true of all women in their 30’s. I am in my mid thirties single, no kids and never married. While I can admit it would me nice to have a family of my own I would never go after a man or try to pressure him about that just to get married and have kids. I would rather be single and have a peace of mind and happiness alone then to be with a man who didnt want to get married or did it just because he felt pressure from me. Thats not cool.
Just so you know there are plenty of men out there the same way. I have come across quite a few men who now that they have playa played themselves out are now ready to settle down and God and everyone in heaven has to stop what they are doing to find these type of men a wife. Ironically enough theres reformed playas are the first ones to complain about not being able to find a “good woman” when in reality they probably had quite a few good women in their day but they dogged those women out so badly that now those women have an “I could care less attitude.”
By storm
May 23, 2006 02:54 PM | Link to this
Sup FYRE! @Runnin Your choice of music is most appropriate.LMAO! Thanks! Good lookin out!
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 02:56 PM | Link to this
Good Afternoon OlderandWiser how are you???
@Ms.Elusive sorry sweetheart, like I said I think it’s that bloody military brat in me…All those stupid readiness drills lol. I can share some techniques to help if you’d like lol?
@Gavi-which Frapp have you got today? I ned to go across the street & pick one of those up! We WILL need reinforcements!
By demigod33
May 23, 2006 02:57 PM | Link to this
All right, Im about to get jumper on! I’ve been blogging for 4week now, most of ladies on here intellgent as hell! How do y’all end up with loser? Now, Im a first class generation X, top of the line A##hole! I know, cause I do me! Look at my ladies friends I have in my circle,(lawyers,doctor,area and regional managers,etcs) all have sorry a## husbands or boyfriends. Do women have sign in their yard saying,”Sorry,lame,losers, please apply here!” While I can, I choose not to sleep with them. Being deaf taught me to play close attention to body langauge and little emotion sign in a person face. All I see is bitterness and miscommunication, that is not cool.
Do women know what they want? Are they looking for some man to mold them? How do you grow with a person, if you have not grown?
now playing: Symptom Unknown by Maxwell
By LahLah
May 23, 2006 02:58 PM | Link to this
Fyre & Gavi lets get the GyrlPower Range Rover Sport in motion. We got work to do.
By QC
May 23, 2006 02:58 PM | Link to this
*Can somebody put some good drinks on the Sidebar: please *i need one)
Hey DG33 i’ve missed you today
where’s Musing*?
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 02:58 PM | Link to this
@MB HERE HERE PREACH—PREACH!!! Let the chuuuch say Amen!!! YAY-MEN!!! LOL
By G
May 23, 2006 02:59 PM | Link to this
@Fyre…Oh it’s true. The pendulum swings both ways. Working out and eating right is a way of life for me. I’m not in training, but I have to hit the gym on the regular, eat right at least during the week, be groomed, and keep a decent wardrope. The older I get, the more “physically marketable” I have to make myself.
By Psycho Belle
May 23, 2006 03:01 PM | Link to this
Thanks, gavi, MB, and Fyre for your answers on how long it takes you to get ready. That gives me a good range to compare myself with - half an hour to two hours. I usually take about an hour and fifteen minutes to get ready, including showering, so I guess I’m in the range of normal compared with other bloggers.
By Jackie
May 23, 2006 03:03 PM | Link to this
Hey Good People, Runnin, Dushawn, Miss QC, LahLah,Musing, etc.
Runnin Keep the dedications comin’, we all have done some crazy things for love.
My list: Add A Weave, Take out a Weave, Dress more Sexier, Pretend to be okay with a weird azz fetish (Gagging) WTF!, Pretend to be okay with a smoker, Pretend that 3 Inches is OKAY! NOT!, etc.
LahLah Hey Girl, Dang you be having some questions, girl. Anyway, you are reminding me of that episode of “Girlfriends” where Tony was dating the white guy and she confessed that her hair was sewn in and he made it part of his political platform speech. Talking about unity and weaving in society, Hella Funny.
I would tell him that it’s not mine…..on our wedding night……Too Late!!
By SeanJohnson
May 23, 2006 03:03 PM | Link to this
@FyreStarrter…lol funny thing is not that it matters but these are educated career women. You know the type..Ms Independent ..got my career my house my car…then wake up with no man or kids and hear that clock ticking. But sad to say its there own fault ..women shouldn’t put a timetable on how they want their lives to end up. So when they approach thirty and things are not lined up as they planned when they were 21 they start scrabbling.
By demigod33
May 23, 2006 03:05 PM | Link to this
missQC/gavi/heaven: D’Angelo - Brown Sugar
Kym/storm/thickness/fyre: Independent Women by Beyonce and dem girl
By Thick
May 23, 2006 03:06 PM | Link to this
I’m back.
Hey Demigod, I actually missed you, you little butty smacker!
By gavi1126
May 23, 2006 03:08 PM | Link to this
@ Fyre - Its non-fat, sugar-free, double chocolate, frappachino, extra caffeine! + it will make u loose 1 lb. Its the diva special of the day!
@Lah-Lah - Yes maam @QC - sweets, i got some starbucks for u as well.
By Kym
May 23, 2006 03:08 PM | Link to this
@G AWWW so most women over 30 are no longer good looking in your eyes. Well, I suggest you continue to swim on the shallow end of the pool. Because I am quite sure those “unmarketable women” as you call them have quite a few men browsing their selection. Now we all have thing we may not like about the other sex. I like tall fellows, and prefer them to have all of their natural teeth in their head. But I would go so shallow to say that a person is no longer “marketable”. Some where that person is perfect for someone. Who will appreciate them. I thought we got rid of all that meat market talk in the late 1980’s early 90’s but apparently it lives on. Pleassssssssssssseeee.
By QC
May 23, 2006 03:08 PM | Link to this
Wow DG i did’nt know you could talk that much, lol…..
did you take your cape off to say all that
By Janae
May 23, 2006 03:10 PM | Link to this
MB Yes Lord! on your 2:52 Post… Good Night All.
By gavi1126
May 23, 2006 03:10 PM | Link to this
Waving bye @ RunninA
By LahLah
May 23, 2006 03:12 PM | Link to this
Demi sometimes I think I have that sign on my forehead and in my front yard. Not sure why it ends up like that. I could go on for days talking about what I want from a man. I believe most of us could, but I think often times we settle and comprise a little too much. I think that another thing that bites us in the rump is we have this natural desire to want to change indivisuals, and not look at how or who they are at that present time.
By demigod_Love Machine
May 23, 2006 03:12 PM | Link to this
1970 Pimp voice: To all my Lurking fiends out there: Usher - You got it bad. You keep coming to this blog and dont know why!
By gavi1126
May 23, 2006 03:14 PM | Link to this
Thanks @ DemiG - That’s me!!! ;)
By MB
May 23, 2006 03:18 PM | Link to this
SeanJohnson I think most human beings not just women put a time table on their lives if they have any goals or ambition about them at all. As we get older hopefully if you are growing and learning you figure out that things dont always go according to plan and in some cases the plans dont work out at all.
I know you already know this but techinically with the creation of sperm banks and adoption women dont need to be involved in a relationship to have kids. To take it a step further with the creation if This That and The Other and Starship men arent really needed for anything else either lol. However its not a NEED that we are talking about its a WANT. Any reasonable, of sound mind and body female that is heterosexual and in it for the right reasons wants a “good man”. Not to complete her or take care of her but to love her unconditionally and allow who will allow her to love him unconditionally. Women as a gender put up with alot of crap (not to say that men dont). I dont think its unreasonbale to want the “American Dream” and to share that dream with a man you love and one that loves you in return.
By Jewel
May 23, 2006 03:19 PM | Link to this
Ok LahLah Bobby Caldwell sings that song (your 1:55 post)…yes I’m celebrating 40 years of life next week! I started to correct Runnin, “One In a Million” is by Larry Graham - OLD SKOOL - when music was music! LOL!
By LahLah
May 23, 2006 03:19 PM | Link to this
QC I feel ya with the good drinks on the side bar. I’m dreaming that my diet Lemonade from Chickfila had some Grey Goose mixed in.
Jackie girl you got me laughing over hear. I forgot all about that episode! Best suggestion yet wait till the wedding night.
You all just don’t know, I take notes from you guys.
By demigod_Love Machine
May 23, 2006 03:19 PM | Link to this
Alicia Keys - Falling Is the theme of the blog today!
QC im deaf sweetie, I dont talk or do sign langauge
I’ve never never love someone as Ive love you
By gavi1126
May 23, 2006 03:24 PM | Link to this
LahLah - the diet lemonade is too good..makes me want some now.. u gave me a good idea too, mine would have Bacardi Lemon instead.. uummmmmm!!
@ Demi - how do u communicate then.. u can read lips?
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 03:25 PM | Link to this
@G Like I told you boo—DUCK LOL!
@Gavi-that sounds delish- What’s the name of it???
@3rd ok luv-you mentioned a bar- Which one do YOU want to go to lol?
By G
May 23, 2006 03:25 PM | Link to this
I should’ve known someone would get sensitive about my comments. Trust me, the physical aspect is not everything. I’m sure there are many fine 30somethings……..I’m just not running into them. Maybe I’ll start to adjust my venues.
I never said anyone was “unmarketable”. Just because certain types aren’t for me, doen’t mean it isn’t for someone else. It also doesn’t make my preferences shallow. Some women only like tall men. Does that make them shallow for not giving 5’6” guys a fair chance?
By Jackie
May 23, 2006 03:25 PM | Link to this
@Runnin Please dedicate “Losing You” by Heather Headley to my Ex.
Wrote a song ‘bout it, Like to hear, Here it goes………….
Losing you had to be The best thing that ever happened to me Even though I cried a little And I tried a little I learned what a good woman really needs Losing you had to be, The best thing that ever happened to me Now that I’m over the pain I found love again. With a man that makes me so happy.
By Kym
May 23, 2006 03:25 PM | Link to this
@ MB Here Here say it again. But I would also like to add that there needs to be some serious mentoring to these “young ladies” that do all this stuff to try to get some dude to love them. This is free advice for me to all of them something my big sister says all the time **”NO ONE NOT HUSBAND, BOYFRIEND, LOVER. WILL EVER LOVE ME THE WAY I LOVE ME. ” So love you first and love you best.
By gavi1126
May 23, 2006 03:26 PM | Link to this
Chocolicious DivaFrap ;)
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 23, 2006 03:28 PM | Link to this
LOL at Lah’ Lah’s post at 1:58 p.m. Now that I look back I could have done a lot of stuff with that 2 grand… I ended up getting half back because I was mad for being 19 and being setup with 70 year olds… There is nothing like the smell of fresh dependos on an old man.
By demigod_Love Machine
May 23, 2006 03:28 PM | Link to this
LahLah: you want a ‘Genie in a bottle’ by Christina Aguilera. It all love sista there a lot of good men out there wait to be dust off and shine like chome!
reggie time: Sean Paul - gimme da light
By LaLa
May 23, 2006 03:28 PM | Link to this
@Run…LOL…oh….
By Wise Diva
May 23, 2006 03:29 PM | Link to this
Hi everyone!
I am swamped at work but I have been lurking each hour, some very funny comments, and some very thought-provoking!
Have a great evening if I don’t post again!
waving at Psycho Belle
By MB
May 23, 2006 03:29 PM | Link to this
Demi Just my opinion but I think it might be a combination of things. Some people are afraid to be alone so they will settle because they feel that a no good man is better then no man at all. In some cases its poor decision making and for some once a great deal of time and effort is invested in a person they feel they have gone to far to change what is now their status quo. Some may not think they can do any better, or if of the evils presented to them the person they are with is the better of those evils. Then there are some men who are Oscar award winning actors/liars and while everyone else may be able to spot their line of crap a mile away we all know that when you are in the middle of a situation and worse yet your feelings are involved its hard to see the forrest for the trees.
By QC
May 23, 2006 03:31 PM | Link to this
DG aka Love Machine you’re still my #1 blog brother i’ve never read a post from you that loooong where’s the cape
LahLah, that sounds good
note to self, dinner idea from LahLah
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 23, 2006 03:32 PM | Link to this
LOL at Fyre!!! To the Range Rover and BEYOND!!!
By demigod_Love Machine
May 23, 2006 03:33 PM | Link to this
Lip reading and writing
now passing out the bottles of moet to the ladies
Beenie Man - Everyone Falls in Love Sometimes, now playing
By Tazzee
May 23, 2006 03:34 PM | Link to this
@PsychoBelle - LOL, I don’t recall seeing any of the respondents say 2 hours…methinks that’s how long it takes you to get ready. For the record how long it takes me to get ready depends on my hair, but the max is 1 hour. If I don’t have to curl my hair then 45 minutes. If I don’t have to iron, then 35 minutes - well you get my drift.
SeanJohnson - Most women that are 30 something with no children aren’t in that state because they decided to put their careers first, but because they haven’t met the right man yet. Then as a woman approaches 30 - 35, she starts hearing the birthing statistics all around. From the parents to the doctors to the media. So if a woman wants to have children, I can imagine her despair. The thing is, you men wait until mid30’s to even think about settling down, so what are they supposed to do - date older? Because if we wait for the men in our age group to propose, then all our eggs will be gone by marriage. So don’t be too hard on the women that want to have children. Honestly, when you were the age that you are dating now, you weren’t ready to settle down - so I guess the moral of the story is, women in their 20’s need to date up if they want to have children.
By LahLah
May 23, 2006 03:34 PM | Link to this
Hey Jackie WTF is gagging???!!!! LMAO!!
Is it anything like someone putting their hands around your neck and choking you a little bit?
Oh, never mind, Gagging. I got it.
By QC
May 23, 2006 03:34 PM | Link to this
@LahLah
girl trust you are not the only one taking notes from our fellow bloggers, lol
By SeanJohnson
May 23, 2006 03:35 PM | Link to this
@MB …i understand your take on it..and not all women are like that..but not to open up a can of worms but a mate is a need not a want..i dont care what people say or what kind of toy u buy at starship or even the latest phase of women being so called bi… men are needed..just remember that pillow doesnt hug back..just joking..from your tone ..have you accepted that u may or maybe get married and have kids?
By gavi1126
May 23, 2006 03:35 PM | Link to this
@ MB - yeah, i just dont’ understand y some women rather be with a bad guy..then be single. I’m not desperate at no point, so i’m willing to date around till i see somebody i like! I rather be baby-sitting my couch then be with some guy who isn’t exactly what i want.
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 23, 2006 03:38 PM | Link to this
Demi What’s up??? The market for good men is hard out there. SOME people are settling and saying what the heck at least he has a pulse…. I am going into the teaching field. I will be teaching high school in 3 years. I plan on meeting my husband in one of my classes…. LOLOL just kidding don’t call the PO-PO…..
By Kym
May 23, 2006 03:38 PM | Link to this
@G No one is sensitive about your comemnts. You used the turn “marketable physically”. Which would basicly describe the purchase of a cow, or a horse, or in 1801 the purchase of a slave. I would assume that if a person is not for you then in your eyes they are now unmarketable. The use of that term at all gives the impression that you are shallow. An as I stated previously everyone is entitled to like what they want. If the person is not your cup of tea or “marketable physically” to you then that doesnt mean that they are not desireable to someone else.
By demigod_Love Machine
May 23, 2006 03:40 PM | Link to this
MB: You are right, women know when a guy is lying after a while, it’s just when you are 3 or 4 month into the relationship, the break up is the hardest part.
for you sista: Shaggy - Angel Girl you’re my angel/ my darin baby….
By Heaven
May 23, 2006 03:41 PM | Link to this
Demi33_Love Machine
You made me come out of lurkesville, i knew there was something special about you when i first saw your name
you’re being serious cause not 1 time today have you mentioned THE CAPE
Love you Cape Crusader
By LahLah
May 23, 2006 03:42 PM | Link to this
Demi Someone once told me that if I got a homeless man off the streets, took him home, cleaned him up, find him a job…. it would be the best man I ever had. My friend told me that, God rest her soul.
Jackie let me finish that for you. I used to think that, you were heaven sent, cause you appeared to be the perfect gentleman. You would open doors and make those daily calls, just to check and see if I needed anything at all….*
Gavi& Fyre Lets take her to Twist and get one of those Mojito’s thats off the chain!
By demigod_Love Machine
May 23, 2006 03:42 PM | Link to this
call me Mr. boombastic
QC/gavi: I can talk, but with a lisp. So I try not to if I can,lol
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 03:43 PM | Link to this
*@G Boo I will be the first to tell you the preferences are EXTREMELY important because we all have characteristics in a person that we like or don’t like. And if we start to break away from those then we start to lose that marketability because others WILL notice if you change up a little bit too much for comfort. And if they are predators then they will try & make you look like a sucka lol. Because maybe before when you held to your standards they would not have EVER had a chance but now… that little sliver…. hmmm maybe, just maybe…
@Gavi you know I am going across the street to get one of those now don’t you???
@3rd what’s up gyrl tell us where to go!!!
@Jackie Hey gyrl I COMPLETELY feel you on getting over the pain. I know some chicks right now walking around wearing that pain like “The Red Bad of Courage”! Get Over it Relax, Relate, Release!!! (Whew where’s Whitley when you need her lol)
By Aggressively witty
May 23, 2006 03:46 PM | Link to this
I wont never again (if I have to date again) date a broad with a kid. I know yall think I am joking when i say it but umm seriously…i hate a kid.
By Jackie
May 23, 2006 03:46 PM | Link to this
@LahLah, Girl, I dated this military dude once. He told me his fetish was “Gagging”. I thought he meant performing oral, but he didn’t. He wanted me to stick my finger in my throat and make myself gag. I was like, Oh,Hell Nah! He stated he did it to himself all the time while brushing his teeth, eating, or just sitting at home with his fingers. After I thought about it, I recall hearing this weird noise like somebody was choking whenever we talked on the phone. Anyway, I told him that was not normal and that he should seek professional help. He said I was making a big deal about it. He said his previous girlfriend didn’t have a problem with it…..I told him that both their crazy azzes needed to go seek professional help. (:0)
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 03:46 PM | Link to this
@G I warned you boo—I hope you got on a bullet proof vest lol!
By storm
May 23, 2006 03:47 PM | Link to this
DG33 What took you so long to join us? I missed you MAYNE! Sup FYRE! RunninGood lookin out on the music, especially the R Kelley.LMAO! Thanks.
By demigod_Love Machine
May 23, 2006 03:48 PM | Link to this
3rd: Wayne wonder - no letting go… just dance your mind free today sweetie
LahLah gagging: The act or an instance of gagging or choking, while having sex
By JustMe
May 23, 2006 03:48 PM | Link to this
I wanted Your Love the Infamous Luther Vandross
By LahLah
May 23, 2006 03:48 PM | Link to this
QC I should start writing down who said what to reference in the future.
I’ll tell you a couple of the good ones I got. Dang I wish I knew who said it but…..
Men tend to slow things down when they are really interested.
Stop letting men dictate the flow of the relationship.
Men decide their real intentions with a woman once their mental stimulation catches up with their physical stimulation.
By QC
May 23, 2006 03:49 PM | Link to this
That’s cool DG as long as you don’t pass the cape to no one else, you don’t have to talk just keep making me laugh!
By MB
May 23, 2006 03:51 PM | Link to this
SeanJohnson I have accepted my reality in being a single person in 2006. I see the quality or lack of quality out there in the dating market. Based on what I see and what I expect. To me quality is paramount. While I dont seek perfection I do want a man that is a sound decision maker, kind, compassionate, loyal,has integrity, capabale of wearing the pants in the family and the added bonus is it would be nice if I found him attractive etc etc etc. Basically the most important things to me dont cost a dime and dont require anything from a man other then his time. However what I seek is rare , few and far in between. So my reality is I might not get married and I have accepted that. But that fact will not stop me from having a good life and doing what I want.
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 23, 2006 03:52 PM | Link to this
Fyre I would like to go to a Bar that sells Fish Bowls… I love those things… I can drink one and be up on the bar singing like a Rhinestone Cowboy in a second…. Lately I have been hanging out with my best friend and singing karaoke at this bar called TOPPS in Douglasville…. We sing everything from Father Figure to Chocolate Salty Wang Wangs from the SouthPark soundtrack…
FYI it takes me 10 minutes to get ready everyday… If I decide to shower or bathe after 3 days then it takes 15 mins…. I hear Funk is making a comeback!!!
By JustMe
May 23, 2006 03:53 PM | Link to this
@Kym
^Friggin5 to U my Sitah’ on your 2:44PM Post
By QC
May 23, 2006 03:56 PM | Link to this
LahLah, i should’ve started when the blog 1st started
By gavi1126
May 23, 2006 03:56 PM | Link to this
@ lahLah - yes, they r too good..lets go girls.. @ Fyre - lol.. only my starbucks had this diva special hun.. but get the lite-frap anyways.. @ DemiG - lisp huh..um…if u say so!!
By demigod_Love Machine
May 23, 2006 03:57 PM | Link to this
Heaven: smile girl! whispering: Sean Paul - Get busy, in your ear
By Thickness
May 23, 2006 03:59 PM | Link to this
Frye, Lah Lah, Gavi, that Mojito’s sounds good.
By MB
May 23, 2006 03:59 PM | Link to this
Jackie yeah umm dude had some issues lol. A fiend of mine dated this guy who always wanted to hear her chew ice. If they were on the phone he would ask her to just chew ice and let it roll around in her mouth lmao. It takes all kinds lol
By gavi1126
May 23, 2006 03:59 PM | Link to this
“KARMA” - BY MY GIRL ALICIA KEYS ( blasting on our blog, dedicated to the jerk.. Mr.Jones..sucka)
By JustMe
May 23, 2006 04:00 PM | Link to this
@G
As Fine 6’ footer myself, I just smile at the short men and ask what is it about long, shapely legs that they love so much. I dated 1 guy in my 20’s who was 5’11”, his personality made up for the inches he was lacking in height. As a general rule….. I just don’t go there anymore.
By MB
May 23, 2006 04:03 PM | Link to this
LMAO at funk making a comeback
By Thick
May 23, 2006 04:05 PM | Link to this
^5 Jackie that dudes crazy, a little freak in you, okay, but gagging h3ll no.
By LahLah
May 23, 2006 04:05 PM | Link to this
Mr. Boombastic/Demi Love Machine So what if someone talks real fast like Twista, what do you do then? JK!!!
For real though since you took over the DJ booth. Make a mix CD, so Fyre,Gavi,3rd and myself can have something to ride to.
Put that Busta Rhymes remix Touch it on there with Mary, Missy and Rahdiga(sp?).
By Kym
May 23, 2006 04:07 PM | Link to this
@ Jackie-keyword there “Military”
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 04:07 PM | Link to this
@Storm—What’s up luv!!!!
@LahLah 3rd is Twist ok for your inagural coming out Gala???
@Agg Hey boo-children are a huge responsibility & TRULY not every person is meant to be a Mother or Father. I am NOT mad at you for being honest!
By Jackie
May 23, 2006 04:08 PM | Link to this
@ DemiGod, Sorry, this fool wanted gagging –but not during sex. He wanted the psychotic version of gagging. He said he just liked to hear the sound and see the look on the face of the person gagging. Arrrggh, Scary!
By storm
May 23, 2006 04:08 PM | Link to this
Mojitos do sound good ladies! KYM Gotta cosign 3:08 post. What makes one marketable is relative, a matter of taste.
By QC
May 23, 2006 04:08 PM | Link to this
Memorial Day plans anyone, anyone???? I need to get my grass cut, buy a bbq grill, go to the meat house, hire a grill man, come up with a menu…
if i can do all that, i’ll sponsor the bbq
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 04:09 PM | Link to this
@3rd OMG I think I just lost sight in my right eye from that LAST COMMENT!!! LMAO ROTF!!!!!
By LahLah
May 23, 2006 04:10 PM | Link to this
Jackie OMG, I am almost in tears over here. So he just wanted yall to gag together? That’s the craziest thing I ever heard in my life! That’s a sickness! Still LMAO….
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 04:11 PM | Link to this
@3rd GET THEE TO A BATHTUB WITH SOME BUBBLES & LOOFAH & QUICK!!!! Help & Mojitos are on the way!!!!
By demigod_Love Machine
May 23, 2006 04:13 PM | Link to this
We want the Funk, We want the Funk the battle cry of the 70’s,80’s,90’s, now for the 2000’s
By LahLah
May 23, 2006 04:15 PM | Link to this
jackie STOP, I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! You got me crying for real now! What sick person likes the look at someones face when their gagging!
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 04:15 PM | Link to this
@LahLah Rah Digga but it’s cool we know your heart!!
@Thick, MissQc, Gavi, 3rd, & LahLah-Hit me up with your contact info, the need for an intervention has reach crises stage!!! Anyone else down for Mojitos or fish bowls you know where to find me!!! Lets to this!!!
By QC
May 23, 2006 04:15 PM | Link to this
Have a great, safe evening everyone
don’t forget to watch American Idol…NOT!
Good Night Bloggers
By LahLah
May 23, 2006 04:17 PM | Link to this
QC Make sure your grill man will only be wearing a thong and an apron. That will really get the party started.
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 23, 2006 04:18 PM | Link to this
Jackie After reading that gagging post I think I threw up in my mouth a little… Yuck!! What a sicko!! Did you tell him to gag himself??
Fyre Come to Fulton Industrial… If you don’t mind the big trucks and the dirty men then come on down…
By MB
May 23, 2006 04:19 PM | Link to this
Ya’ll know folks are crazy theres a guy on one of these singles sites who states something to the effect that hes looking for a chick that paints her toe nails blue is under 20 and not on birth control. Just crazy. Who even thinks of stuff like that.
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 04:20 PM | Link to this
@Jackie Whilst I don’t agree that just because the dude was military that that gave him a license to be crazy-I think deep down inside he had an anorexia fetish. And believe me in Abnormal & Sexual Psych you’d be suprised how often that type of disorder comes up. In other words, the dude needs to be committed so he can be on his meds FULL TIME lol!!!
By olderandwiser
May 23, 2006 04:21 PM | Link to this
IMO the people who classify or select prospective partners by their appearance, age group or marital status/children are missing out on some rich and rewarding experiences. Had I thought that way, I would have limited my choices severely and experienced (read: learned from my mistakes) rather little over time. Life isn’t perfect; in fact, lived well, it’s rather messy. Trying to get by without making any errors is hardly possible or even desirable. Do you really want to end up in a perfect cocoon of solitary splendor holding a blank resume? Are the best comedies, dramas or biographies written about human perfections or imperfections? Which bloggers here appear to be the most interesting people or are the ones that you’ve learned the most from?
My divorce was a painful and life-changing moment, but it was also a catalyst and a learning experience that lead me to other people, places and things that I would never have known without it. I’m glad that I remained single and childless into my late 50s so I could meet them all, good and bad. They all served to open my eyes and my heart to a divorced younger guy with three kids to love and be loved by. Is that a perfect choice to make? Perhaps not, but it’s my choice. Thank God.
Life lesson: regard and treat each person you meet as an individual worthy of your time and attention until s/he proves otherwise. Think outside the box of your ideas on perfection. You knew know what you’ll find out there.
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 23, 2006 04:22 PM | Link to this
LMAO about eating some ice… is that a making of a bad porno or what??? That’s like watching a movie on Skinamax after midnight…..
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 04:24 PM | Link to this
@MB A dude who has met with the feds a few too many times & is trying to be the serial killer who easily stays UNDER the radar lol!
@MissQC-Don’t forget We’ve got an intervention to Coordinate! Ladies—SIDEBAR!!!
By LahLah
May 23, 2006 04:25 PM | Link to this
3rd
Chocolate Salty Wang Wangs LMAO. I’m gon need you to never sing that song again.
By the way, I may be the one yall are waiting on…. Only takes me 10 minutes in the tub but that damn chair in front of my vanity gets me everytime. I can sit in my bathroom chair for 40 minutes grooming myself.
By G
May 23, 2006 04:26 PM | Link to this
Kym. Read my post again, and you just restated the same thing I said. If you don’t like the term “physical marketability”, that’s cool with me. Seems it struck a nerve. It’s not personal. I won’t judge your comprehension skills, so don’t judge my character. Preferences do not make a person shallow. Get over it!
By Jackie
May 23, 2006 04:30 PM | Link to this
RE: “Gagger”, He continued to call me and just couldn’t understand why that so weird. He said maybe I was too young to understand an older man. Please, I was 26, he was 34. I was old enough to know his azz was crazy and that’s all I needed to know. After I sent him an IM, Text Message, 2 Voicemails ( home & cell) he finally got it. After I told my sisters about him, they would call my name and Stick their fingers in their mouths and pretend to gag! Only afterwards did I began to wonder why he had a huge box of Tic Tacs in his kitchen. (:0)
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 23, 2006 04:32 PM | Link to this
Fyre I ain’t never been to TWIST before we must go….. The Ajc should throw us a blog party so we can all meet up and drink!
Frye it’s been so long since I have seen a bath tub that my elbows are ashy and I can sand down my old wooden chair without using a machine…. Do you think that is a turn on for guys??? LOL
By LahLah
May 23, 2006 04:34 PM | Link to this
TOTALLY OFF SUBJECT but…… Did you all see the Legends Ball that Oprah had last night. Did you see them dang drop diamond earings. SHOOT!! I”m in the wrong business!!!
By Jackie
May 23, 2006 04:36 PM | Link to this
@Fyre, I think I should have contacted the Mental Health clinic and had them make a visitation over at Ft McClellan.
Moral of the Story: I now ask all guys if they have any weird fetishes right off the bat!
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 04:37 PM | Link to this
@olderandwiser You always seem to put things in perspective that I think a lot of us don’t have the ability to understand yet. Yes we have all been through experiences & I do agree that yes we have all been guilty of being superficial & not necessarily approaching each person as an individual. But I think that alot of that comes from a fear of possibly crushing our own dreams because we’ve always had this ideal in our heads about how our SO or better yet Husband or Wife should be. Sometimes perfection can bite you in the foot but other times we have to realize that it is still something that many of us work so hard for so why should we have to give it up just because others are not on that same wavelength? sigh it’s not easy being green… lol
@3rd umm ok you can sing the Chocolate Salty Wang Wangs song ONE TIME & ONE TIME ONLY to get it out of your system… BUT NO MORE after that…NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER lol !!!
By gavi1126
May 23, 2006 04:37 PM | Link to this
byes folks..c u tommorow
By MB
May 23, 2006 04:40 PM | Link to this
LahLah Girl yea it was beautiful it will continue to amaze me how well sistas age. Melanin and good gentics. Priceless
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 04:40 PM | Link to this
@3rd GYRL—-I am SPEECHLESS OMG Ladies are you NOT seeing the crimes that are being perpetrated here????
@LahLah—I really wanted to see it but see what had happened was…Well h3ll I was..Well.. OH NEVERMIND lol!!!
By Wookin' Pnub
May 23, 2006 04:40 PM | Link to this
@Lahlah BELIEVE your boyfriend. If he says he never wants to marry again, he doesn’t, and if he does, it won’t be with you. He has already declared that YOU are not the one. If marriage is something you want, leave, leave, leave. I dated someone for over 6 years hoping he would change his mind. He would lead me on, and talk about it a possibility in our future, but he never intended to marry me. (he also pursued me relentlessly for 9 months before I went out with him). He lied, I thought he was divorced, but he was only separated at the time with two kids. At my age, if we aren’t in serious discussions at a year and 1/2, I’m out. I do not have the time nor energy. I believe that is sufficient amount of time to decide if the person you are with is the person you want to spend your life with. I’m done with the 4-7 year relationships that go nowhere. I dated another divorcee, 4 years divorced with one kid. He had me, this perfect person in front of him, everything he wanted, but he was too scared. He admits it now, we’re friends, but I’ve moved on…my current a divorcee, no kids. We’ll see, so far so good. My point is, after the 7+ year with no comittment, I recognized it immediately in the next guy. No, I don’t look at every guy I date as someone I want to marry, but there comes a point in dating where you decide you want to see where this goes and become exclusive with one of them.
By demigod_Love Machine
May 23, 2006 04:40 PM | Link to this
Night all
Off to the Gym
By Jackie
May 23, 2006 04:43 PM | Link to this
@Third Girl, we must do an intervention with you. With the funk & ashy elbows…..all of that can be turned around.
I’ve never been to Twist either, but I hear it’s similar to “Shout”.
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 04:43 PM | Link to this
Waving @ Gavi Bye Gyrl we MUST talk tomorrow!!! Have to see a Mojito about an intervention!
By LahLah
May 23, 2006 04:46 PM | Link to this
Jackie you can ask a man if he has a weird fettishes, but if he doesn’t think it’s weird he will say no. Then later on down the road you’ll find yourself in a situation where you sticking Kosher Pickles in God forsaken places while your howling like a wolf with one of those Burger King crowns on your head. Fo Sho!
By Kym
May 23, 2006 04:53 PM | Link to this
@G Now if you would be so kind as to re-read my post because obviously your skills of comprehension are coming up short as well. I said my problem was with the term. Just as I dont like the term broad, hoochie, whore, or any other “term” used to describe women. Anymore so I would assume you would want to be called a stud, or have someone say he looks like he is a good breeder, or field hand. The term is what I raised objection too. An I deemed you and any other person shallow. If you feel that it is okay to refer to the opposite sex in the terms of cattle, or other animals. Now while it was not a target on your character. As my granny would say. “A Hit Dog will Holler.”
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 04:54 PM | Link to this
NIGHT DEMI
@Wookin Do you know how quickly I got cut off at the knees last week when I said the same thing?? Whew FINALLY someone new to co-sign & feel what I am saying. Why is is that Men move at the speed of light when it comes to pulling in the parking lot but at the speed of Patrick the Snail when it comes to permanently reserving their parking spaces?
By Jackie
May 23, 2006 04:54 PM | Link to this
@LahLah, I just choked on my Sprite and it came out of my nose. Who in the hell does freaky stuff with Pickles? Oh my word!
Good Evening All!
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 23, 2006 04:54 PM | Link to this
I like my wangs wangs unsalted…. :o)
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 04:55 PM | Link to this
@LahLah OMG YOU ARE KILLING ME!!! There goes the site in my OTHER eye lol!!!
By LahLah
May 23, 2006 04:56 PM | Link to this
Hey Wookin That was on the subject from the other day. Why you had to bring that up? Now I’m sad again. I think I luv he. But I hear ya. Thanks.
Bueno Noches Erbody.
3rd BATH!!!
By Thirdwheelflunkie
May 23, 2006 04:58 PM | Link to this
nite nite everyone!! I had real fun in here today!!! Yall made me laugh and gag!! Until tomorrow…. :o)
By LahLah
May 23, 2006 04:58 PM | Link to this
Jackie I guess I’m the sick one cause I just made that up.
Night Night
By FyreStarrter™
May 23, 2006 04:59 PM | Link to this
GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE On my way downstairs to the gym!!