Misadventures in Atlanta

May 25, 2006 08:40 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Everyone!!! It’s Thursday!!!!

May 25, 2006 08:42 AM | Link to this

* What’s up QC!!*

By LahLah

May 25, 2006 08:47 AM | Link to this

Hi all of you fabulous peoples!!!! Good game last night huh! Pretty dog on close. I think for the most part, it is quite easy to read those “yes” signs. Body language is one of the first ways that you can detect someone’s genuine interest in you. If someone is comfortable with you it shows through the way they sit, stand, if they are fidgety if there arms are folded or if they are relaxed. It’s all relative. “Yes” signs are also easy to detect when someone shows interest through their conversations/questions. Where are you from? What’s your family like? Do you like to travel? Do you go to church?……. Those type questions show interest. Me personally, when I’m receiving mixed signals from a guy, I try to hold out a little while just to see if his angle will become clearer to me. I have no clue “when no means yes.” None of us should EVER try to figure that one out because NO MEANS NO. If someone says, “no I’m not interested in you.” Take them at their word. If they say,” no I don’t want to see you again,” honor that. Don’t read into anything. OOHH Lawd, I have a story for you guys, totally related to the topic. I’ll wait till after lunch to share. I’ll entitle it, “The Return of the Decon.!!!!” True story…..

By LahLah

May 25, 2006 08:48 AM | Link to this

QC & 3rd what’s up ladies.

By QC

May 25, 2006 08:52 AM | Link to this

LahLah, 3rd have a blessed day ladies! Morning Blue_Kollar ;)

By Tray

May 25, 2006 08:58 AM | Link to this

good morning! oh lawdy the weekend is near, YEA! ok this topic sounds fun, I think I can relates a bit. what about when you exchange digits and there could have been interest but you just aren’t sure. After a day or two you realize, hey that person wasn’t so bad. do you call, do you not, wait for them, what. well for me I’m gonna be a brazen b!tch and call, what the heck!!

By JustMe

May 25, 2006 09:10 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Bloggers - It’s my Friday!!!! Being that I am very picky about the men I date, I tend to reject most flirtatious advances that are made toward me for a variety of reasons. It doesn’t take long for me to know I’m not intrested in a guy, and I hate to lead guys on(unless he’s a repair man) and then have to drop’em like it’s hot later on. I won’t lie about my reason for not being intrested either. I figure if he’s brave enough to ask for the digits and I don’t want to giv’em up I say no, if he persists and asks why not, then I tell him exactly why not in my sweetest Girl 6 voice. I was born and raised in Detroit (GO PISTONS) and there is a difference in how men accept rejection. In Detroit if a guy tried to holla at you and you turned him down, you would be every Itchbey in the book, a freak , a hoe, etc. etc. because you rejected his advances, or they srcream at your back as you walk away, I just wanted to F U that’s all - Sad Sad Sad! In GA, I have found guys to be nicer about accepting rejection (some of them actually like it), but they are also more persistent in their advances. Telling them no once is usually not enough. I’ve been dumping this guy I dated last year since August ‘05 - He called me yesterday at work, wanting to know if I was still dating my new guy. My motto is ask no questions and I’ll tell no lies. It made him no difference at all, he wanted to know if he could come to visit, or take me to lunch, or just get a hug, anything to see me. Then there is the Wal-Mart guy….. he’s 5’7”ish, I’m 6”0” before the heels go on. Everytime I see him, he looks like he’s hypnotized. He ask for my number, I tell him no very politely, he asks if I would call him, I nicely say no, and he smiles from ear to ear as I walk away. I see him every blue moon in Wal-mart and it the same scenario every time. As far as reading “yes signs” goes, I rarely approach eyecandy…. oop’s I meant to say men, so if there are any signs, it’s a given they are intrested because they are persuing me. Mixed messages eventually lead to, call me on the 33rd of Neveruary. Why? Because ya just might be playing games! No only means yes when I see diamonds after the initial no and just before the question is asked again :-) Yes they should work harder to impress me and buy me bigger diamonds - Hee Hee Hee

By NC4Life

May 25, 2006 09:18 AM | Link to this

This is my first time posting. My friends and I have what we call the Save a Hoe committe. When someone doesn’t understand the meaning of “no”, we all go to save the hoe. It works!

By abc

May 25, 2006 09:21 AM | Link to this

It’s a moot point for me. I’d never approach a stranger whether I found her attractive or not, and I just make nice conversation when I’m approached. I don’t go to bars and clubs. There’s better ways to meet people. If you get a lot of unwanted and unsolicited approaches, I’d say you should change your venue.

May 25, 2006 09:22 AM | Link to this

Hello Beautiful people If this posts twice, then opps - my bad! Since i’m a natural flirt, its kinda hard and i keep on giving out wrong signals to the wrong people. So i try to watch how i act with certain ppl, as i learned from bad experiences!! Now, i do not understand the “yes” signs, as i’m sure they vary with ppl. Its frustrating as hell, to look for them yes/no, no/yes signs. I’m just a straight up person, if i’m feeling u..i’ll let u know by giving certain specific comments and so on.

May 25, 2006 09:22 AM | Link to this

What it do people. I can’t believe Phoenix keeps winning, dang! Ok, this topic should be very entertaining today…lol. I am the confident, obvious flirt so I just put it out there and wait for the green light or red light from the ladies…lol. I handle rejection much better than that gnawing feeling wondering “what if you had approached her and…….” It is easy to read signs, as I’ve said before, game recognize game. If you are aggressive then you see the signs and run with it. You can let it be known that you are trying to holla or you can start a more subtle chase, whatever works for you. If there are mixed messages then you have to be more creative and interrogate her more, like LahLah said, you ask questions but the key is if she asks you questions back. That usually means there is some genuine interest there. If you are asking her all the questions and carrying the conversation then it’s time to catch the hint. I pride myself on taking hints, makes things easier. I’ve never stalked, not that serious. Now I have been caught up and blown someone’s voicemail up before but that’s it…..lol. When does no mean yes? Man, that’s how you catch a case! I need bright green lights, no yellow, lime green, turquoise, none of that mess….bright green!

May 25, 2006 09:26 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Good People!! QC ;) May I say that when I approach and make my move, I’m looking for body language, reception, tone of voice, etc. If all of that is not there, I have no problem and waste no time gettin’ my step on and definately don’t take it personal. People Tip #1: No NEVER means Yes! Man Tip #12: Just as ladies are expected to be pleasant and polite, always leave a potential future “sale” with a Have a good evening salutation and a smile.

By QC

May 25, 2006 09:29 AM | Link to this

Runnin i feel ya about Phoenix, it makes you wanna say what the hell is going on i’m sure MissSuns2006 aka Page will fill us in when she pops in, she’ll be wearing a cute Suns outfit w/heels i’m sure lol…. Hey Musing, DG, abc, db, G, Mista

May 25, 2006 09:31 AM | Link to this

Welcome - NC4Life Ladies wussup - QC, 3rd, LahLah Gents - RunninA, Blue-K

May 25, 2006 09:33 AM | Link to this

Lah Lah what’s up

May 25, 2006 09:35 AM | Link to this

What’s up Gavi

May 25, 2006 09:38 AM | Link to this

RunninA - there u go!! now, c if i do see some a man looking my way giving me flit looks, hints .. I will smile back if i’m feeling him! I will give GREEN signs all over that mug..lol. But now, if homeboy is all jacked up giving out signs, puuhllez don’t look my way..because i can’t see you!! I’ve gotten to that stage where i don’t really approach men, but do make it known by i guess the smile, looks & all!!

May 25, 2006 09:39 AM | Link to this

blue kolla good that you mentioned body language, eye contact and such. i don’t think a lot of folks, men and women alike, are totally aware of what type of vibe they’re giving off. sometimes women are mean mugging men during an exchange and not even know it…i call it the angry sistah vibe, lol. both sexes are responsible for presenting themselves in a positive light, as you said. there’s no harm in being polite.:)

By MusingLee

May 25, 2006 09:39 AM | Link to this

Morn’in All, This should be a good topic today…I have found that as a Man, Women often give very shady signs of interest. Women smile or stare at you,and the minute you go over, you get the “You talk’in to me” attitude. WTH…If a Woman likes a man, tell him you like him and grab his butt…That way we both will know…LOL

By Ms.Elusive

May 25, 2006 09:40 AM | Link to this

Morning all No only means yes when I see diamonds after the initial no and just before the question is asked again :-) Yes they should work harder to impress me and buy me bigger diamonds LOL @ JustMe u nut! That doesn’t mean yes, that means psycotic!

May 25, 2006 09:41 AM | Link to this

Who is this silly azz “psychic” broad on Cy-Man’s radio show?! Psychic = Psuedo Counselor/Therapist = Lesser strain of the Chump parasite (usually female and getting paid) with NO advanced degree telling common-senseLESS people (some with degrees) how stupid they are. Example: Miss Cleo

By QC

May 25, 2006 09:45 AM | Link to this

Hai Gavi

By Kym aka Southern Girl

May 25, 2006 09:46 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All, Apparently Spring Fever has sprung. I am trying to see have I ever really approached a guy. Nawww. I have admire them from a far but never really walked up and said give me your number.My motto is “I will chase you until you catch me.” Now if a guy approaches me and I am not interested then I say No. If he keeps asking I keep saying No and he walks away, happy, mad, or indifferent. I dont respond well to overly agressive men.

May 25, 2006 09:49 AM | Link to this

MsE I looked at JustMe’s comment and drew a blank. What is she on today ‘cause I need some of that? LOL

By SeanJohnson

May 25, 2006 09:49 AM | Link to this

This is a good topic.i really dont see it but people consider me a flirt..i see it as just being able to talk to women with out making them feel like i want to get in bed with them. i usually approach the quiet cute women that keep to themselves. reason being the quiet ones usually have more to say when u get to know them..hint hint. Women have so many suble signs that they are interested that if your radar isnt on u can miss them. An afterwards you find out that they have had their eyes on you for a while.

By sJeaSexyCool

May 25, 2006 09:51 AM | Link to this

unfortunately…to some…NO just means New Opportunities… thought for today…sometimes NO just means New Opportunities…

May 25, 2006 09:52 AM | Link to this

Sup QC. Yeah, I thought Dallas had it when ol boy hit that jumper with like 4 seconds left but how did Dallas give up a dang layup in 4 seconds??? It might be their year so I’m ducking Page today…lol. As far as making someone work to impress you, there is a fine line because at a certain point it can just be game. Again, I prefer to save the games for Xbox. But there is fun in the chase, so that’s why there is a fine line. I think common courtesy helps keep the chase fun and helps minimize childish games at the same time. That can be as simple as returning a phone call or initiating one. I think your approach and everything does change from place to place. I grew up in NY but moved to the A when I was 16. When I first started going back to NY as a single adult my cousins had to check me on my approach. That walking up on a female in Bedstuy can get you cut for real! I’ve definitely learned to wait for signs (bright green lights) but then again I still have to watch it because I have that I don’t care, I don’t live here attitude when I’m there too. I see the same type of thing when I go visit Miami. Especially when I approach Cuban women because they tend to stick with their own there and the Latino dudes are real protective. I mean they will practically walk up and listen in on your conversation when you are speaking to a Cuban female there…lol. I was in the military and so I’ve learned you have to be respectful of other people’s cultures and their ways in foreign places so you do not offend anyone.

By mickiedee

May 25, 2006 09:54 AM | Link to this

abc, you never approach a stranger anywhere? I never heard a man say that before. I must run into a lot of those types. I get a lot of starers but it is rare for a man to actually say something. It could also be my body language. I haven’t figured it out.

By LahLah

May 25, 2006 09:55 AM | Link to this

Hey Gavi

By demigod_Love Machine

May 25, 2006 09:55 AM | Link to this

Morning All I will be in lurksville much of the day, so peace!! note to all: will be back on in the afternoon with my nonsenses and very foolish behavor

By mickiedee

May 25, 2006 09:57 AM | Link to this

Speaking of body language, what exactly is a turn off? I do smile so what could be the problem?

By PrivateDancer357

May 25, 2006 09:58 AM | Link to this

Hello Everyone, For me, its not that hard to figure out…if I’m attracted to you, you will know. Signs of attraction, the eye contact, subtle touches, conversattion and if you get kiss at the end of the night…it’s a green light. If none of those things happen during the course of the date….it’s NO(a big flashing RED LIGHT and a whistle).

By Ms.Elusive

May 25, 2006 10:03 AM | Link to this

I’ve only had a few negative responses to brush offs in recent years. Granted… my brush off has been toned way down since I moved south though. Now I smile and shake my head no and keep walking. Previously, (when up north), I would cut the evil eye with the “As if!” flavor to it which did get some “stuck up and mean b*” responses. That said, I think you pretty much get back what you give. Because my brush off is so nice, I have been termed a flirt, which I can be, but I know when I’m doing it, and it isn’t half as much as when I’m accused. I just sympathize with those who approach, because it can’t be easy to be rejected on the regular.

May 25, 2006 10:04 AM | Link to this

gavi That’s what I’m talking about. If I smile, make eye contact and get all that back then that’s an easy approach. Now the mean muggin women require a more tactful yet clever approach because you have to get her attention and think of something funny to say quick to get her to smile and unfold her arms. Sometimes you can’t get both, the arms and a smile, so you have to settle for one and wait for stronger “no” hints…lol. thought for today…sometimes NO just means New Opportunities… “thought for today….sometimes NO just means New Opportunities“….sJea, I hear ya but I spent 4 years in sales and I was taught not to take the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd no…lol. But I’m not trying to be a bug-a-boo either so I can separate sales from real life…lol. Then again, it’s dating really just selling yourself? Another thought for the day.

By 2 can play that game©

May 25, 2006 10:05 AM | Link to this

great topic Diva……..can’t wait to see what you come up with next…..

May 25, 2006 10:11 AM | Link to this

sJea like your comment about N.ew O.pportunites…very positive. thanks :)

By QC

May 25, 2006 10:12 AM | Link to this

I will admit that i’m a flirty flirt smiling at someone and making eye contact are the 2 key things i do all the time….DG you’re in lurkesville, ok well sit back, relax and we’ll talk this afternoon ;)

May 25, 2006 10:13 AM | Link to this

Runnin That’s exactly what your doing - marketing yourself to potential caretakers.

May 25, 2006 10:15 AM | Link to this

Kym the chase is fine as long as you remember that at some point you have to allow yourself to be caught, or at least pinned down for a little while…lol. PD357 Those aren’t hints, that’s a roadmap to success…lol. It’s the subtle things that are tricky.

By jay

May 25, 2006 10:16 AM | Link to this

Good Morning ALL I understand when a lady says “NO” it means no. But ladies when a guy says “NO” do you back off or what?

By I'm Right

May 25, 2006 10:16 AM | Link to this

Tell him you have genital warts and an open sore, and that now just isn’t a good time. Ask for rain check and his number. You’ll get neither and he’ll get the message.

May 25, 2006 10:16 AM | Link to this

@ RunninA - yeah..u know.. but again..all of this only will happen from my part if i’m feeling the guy..otherwise, i will use..repeat use the mean mugging looks if he’s tries me the wrong way. Also, i don’t walk around smiling at folks, so yes i look mean on a normal day..lol!!! Sometimes, though..just so the guy shuts up and leaves i just take their card/number whatever and pretend that i’m gonna call! Now it makes me mad, and shake my head when i do see a fine guy, looking my way several times..While i smile back, go primp up myself again tryin to look cute and the dude does Nothing!! What bout then??

May 25, 2006 10:16 AM | Link to this

@ 2 can..where u been?

By Vanilla

May 25, 2006 10:19 AM | Link to this

Today’s topic isn’t half as good as yesterday’s, y’all were off the chain and i really enjoyed reading this blog all day. But today is boring, very, very boring. But for those who are commenting enjoy, maybe it’ll pick up this afternoon, smooches

By QC

May 25, 2006 10:20 AM | Link to this

Hey VaN if you’re lurking

By SeanJohnson

May 25, 2006 10:21 AM | Link to this

Speaking of body lauguage…believe me i enjoy the way women dress when they are going out..its hard to read body language..because females can have an outfit on that is indicating everybody as green light but dudes are steady getting tickets for reckless eyeballing. So sometimes females have to expect to be approached a lot.

By 2 can play that game©

May 25, 2006 10:23 AM | Link to this

gavi, chillin in the cut….

By G

May 25, 2006 10:24 AM | Link to this

It really doesn’t take long for me to realize where things are going. My patience is short when I think my time is being wasted. Much like what runnin and LaLa was saying, she needs to ask me questions also. This usually shows mutual interest. A whole bunch of short “Yes/No” answers will end the conversation within 2 minutes for me. I won’t even waste my time asking for the number. I won’t give anyone the satisfaction of turning me down…..when I see it coming. Every now and then I get fooled by a “committed” woman that’s just there to play. Either way, I will end it with a polite…….”It was nice talking to you. Enjoy the rest of your evening.” Yeah, right. There are too many women in ATL to waste your time on one “Ms. NoNo”.

By LahLah

May 25, 2006 10:27 AM | Link to this

Hey guys, if at the end of a date, a women gives you a “Christian Hug.” That’s a sign that she’s just not that into you. What is a Christian Hug you ask???? A Christian Hug is when a women hugs you with her butt sticking out away from your body and she gives you a firm pat on the back. If you get that, you can just forget about it.

By abc

May 25, 2006 10:28 AM | Link to this

@mickiedee, no, I never approach strangers like that. I consider it rude. I’ll give a nod and a smile to a beautiful woman if our eyes meet, but it’s always in the elevator, in the store, the gym, out and about wherever. My own body language keeps them from taking it any further, I’m sure. I don’t want to meet strangers like that. The starers kind of bug me too. Chicks are better at not getting caught at it than guys are.

By mike

May 25, 2006 10:28 AM | Link to this

All the reasons above is exactly why I bought a dog and couldn’t be happier. My dog has never lied to me, lead me on, cheated on me. It’s been bliss. I love the excited I get when I come home. In defense of women however. If I was a woman and approached by some the ebonics speaking idiots I have read in this blog I wouldn’t be letting anyone down easy.

By PrivateDancer357

May 25, 2006 10:32 AM | Link to this

Runnin Please expound…provide clarity. How can subtle hints be tricky?

By jay

May 25, 2006 10:36 AM | Link to this

@LahLah Christian Hug…That’s funny.

May 25, 2006 10:38 AM | Link to this

SeanJohnson i understand what you are saying about scantily clad women sending mixed messages. however, body language refers to gestures that one makes with their body not how one clothes their body. i agree that if a sistah knows she doesn’t feel like being bothered, it may not be wise to come out in the micro mini and halter top, lol b/c some brothas may be inclined to look/approach. paying attention to a woman’s gestures is most important though…true body language.

By JustMe

May 25, 2006 10:40 AM | Link to this

@Blue I’m on a Double dose of Itsmyfridaylongextendedholidayweekendmysonisleavingforthesummer javalatte. It’s a natural herbal mix of excitement and anticipation. Shall I brew you a cup?

By storm

May 25, 2006 10:41 AM | Link to this

BLOGGERS WHAT’S UP!! runnin Awww… you can admit to being caught up - WOW! How many guys admit to that? And I feel you on the bright green light thing. Saves much wasted time. Blue Tip #2 - LMAO! Kym I will chase you until you catch me. LOVE IT! Mickiedee I’d like to know whatsup with the staring thing, too! I get lots of stares yet never approached - unless it’s by someone I’m not attracted to.

By storm

May 25, 2006 10:41 AM | Link to this

May 25, 2006 10:41 AM | Link to this

gavi A female on the blog actually said yesterday what the men on this blog have been saying for weeks. When a woman stops waiting to be chosen and starts choosing, then she will be much happier with her selection of men. If you are feeling a guy to the point where you are re-primping to get another look from him then there is nothing wrong with approaching him. Maybe it’s just not in some people but what do you really have to lose? Nothing but a few seconds of your time. So LahLah, there is no hope in upgrading from a Christian hug to wrap my legs around you hug?…lol.

May 25, 2006 10:48 AM | Link to this

@ Mike - that’s cute. But its annoying when you compare that affection to one with of a woman!! Yea the dog love is unconditional, stable etc etc. But we all know that human love is wayyy better.

By Thick

May 25, 2006 10:49 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Everyone I probably need to work on my communication skills here because I really don’t try to read signs to find out if anyone is interested in me or not. This may be a defense mechanism I use, I’ll have to check that out. No means No, if I want I will say yes but I say No take NO. Guys in Atlanta and much of the south are polite but up north you get harassed a little when you reject them. @Lah Lah don’t tell them about the Christian Hug, I use that on the first date, keeps the men guessing. LOL

By G

May 25, 2006 10:53 AM | Link to this

Almost forgot about the mean-mugs. It takes a couple of drinks to even think about approaching Ms. M&M. Christian Hug?LOL!!! After a date? It doesn’t happen too often for me. But her number is usually deleted as quick as her taps on my back. Christian Hug. I have to use that one.

By Sidelines

May 25, 2006 10:54 AM | Link to this

MsE, that was funny…lol! Morning everyone, back to lurksville!

By jay

May 25, 2006 10:56 AM | Link to this

Seriously, I know a guy like Wise Diva’s friend Eric. He is just a laid back can’t say no type of guy and almost ended up with a girl with 5 or 6 kids. She didnt look like she had any & she had the right look, body etc. She wasn’t trying to trick’em, but he fell for her conversation and personality & got so close he had a hard time saying no. That taught me and I will advise anyone to write down what they are looking for in “Mr. Right” and give a copy to your friends. So they can remind you what your goals are.

May 25, 2006 11:01 AM | Link to this

PD357 Subtle hints can be tricky when the two people are feeling different things. One person just may be a flirt and enjoy hanging out while the other person is hanging out and thinking about taking things further. Sometimes people are just on different pages. Like my former co-worker crush, she was good for not-so-subtle hints, a huge flirt, but she was also good for smacking me back into the friendship zone when she felt like it…lol. G There you go, you have to beat them to the punch sometimes, flip the script.

By Raqi

May 25, 2006 11:03 AM | Link to this

The day of innocence is gone forever. I remember when my kid brother and I would go to the mall or walk down to the store…he had to be about 13 or 14y/o…and when he saw a girl that he thought was cute he would straight out ask her “Hey girl, you like me?”. The answer would always be NO, but it would either be a “naaaw, I don’t like you” accompanied by a smile so big you could see her back molars or it would be a “NO” accompanied by a turned up nose and a slight neck eye roll combination. He would follow the latter up with a “so stop looking at me then” which the girl usually responded to with a hard shove and a “get outta my face” or a nice little I am trying not to smile grin. Only if it was still that easy and innocent.

By G

May 25, 2006 11:03 AM | Link to this

@Gavi…Maybe he wants to holla at you too, but previously got rejected by someone as cute as you. He’s like…”naawww, I’m not falling for that again tonite.”….then he takes the rest of the night off and tries again tomorrow. I could be wrong. So the next time it happens, approach him to find out. Let us know!

By MB

May 25, 2006 11:04 AM | Link to this

WD You must have been reading my mind. After all that talk of food yesterday I decided to cook. I stopped at a local farmers makert when I left work. I was picking up some vegetables minding my own business and this guy starts talking to me. I didnt consider what he was doing flirting but then again I dont really understand flirting. To me its a huge waste of time. At any rate I really didnt want to talk to anyone I just wanted to get my groceries and go home and cook and be quiet. I had to take a second to remind myself its not this mans fault that I am tired so I will be polite to him. So we had some meaningless conversation about how I prepare eggplant. I gave my best Oscar award winning performance with the smiles and the whole bit because I wanted to hurry up and end this. This man followed me through the store and was just running his mouth. I thought once I got to the check out counter finally I had escaped. However I was not that lucky. He followed me to the parking lot blabbing all the way. Finally I got to my car and he asked the question, “So do you think I can call you some time so we can go out?” Once again in my most polite voice I said, “It was nice talking to you and thank you for the offer but no thank you.” He said, “Well do you have man.” My reply no but once again thank you.” Do you know this man looked at me and said well “F” you the and proceeded to call me the “B” word. I almost caught a case the minute the “B” word came out of his mouth I dont know if I had a boot camp flash back or, or if it was just a reflex action but I punched him dead in his nose. I swear I didnt mean to do it, it just ticked me off that I was being polite to this person and even let him down politely and all of a sudden Im the “B” word. Well I guess luck was on my side because there was a police officer (thankfully female) who was off duty but she was parked right behind me and she watched the whole conversation go down. Dudes nose was bleeding and she got out her car and let us know who she was showed the badge and whole deal. He wanted to press charges she told him to get real basically but she did help him with the bloody nose. Of course she came out and talked to me because after all I did clock dude in the face and it wasnt self defense. However she did admit she probably would have punched him to after he said what he said. At any rate I dont get flirting to me its much easier when men just come out and say what they have to say. I dont flirt because its not something I feel is important.

May 25, 2006 11:07 AM | Link to this

I agree with the hug thing ppl. If i aint feeling you, i wont’ wrap my body around you and squeeze tight!! U get no feel of nothing.. If u’re the “friend only” type, then you get a side hug, while my hand pats ure back!! @ RunninA - u are absolutely correct, but gosh i just dont’ have that much boldness in me, and then i dont wanna attack the martini’s if i hear something i dont’ wanna hear or get the wrong response. @ JustMe - i don’t mind a cup.. Thanks..( bowing down asian style again )

May 25, 2006 11:09 AM | Link to this

gavi We don’t address negativity, remember? That’s what the crazy and bitterly lonely people want you to do. So let Mike remain in his kennel world with his faithful pet that he does doggie style every night and hope that he uses protection because we don’t want the dog to catch anything with all the “down low” men out there.

By QC

May 25, 2006 11:10 AM | Link to this

LahLah That is sooooo true about the “christian hug” wow DG how do you feel about getting a “christian hug”?

By Janae

May 25, 2006 11:11 AM | Link to this

Morning Everyone.

May 25, 2006 11:12 AM | Link to this

@ MB - woooww… That’s crazy..And u Go Girl!! he prolly can’t even spell the B word..sucka.. Where u at Dekalb Farmer’s market?? cause last wk, this dude did start talking to me by the bakery section and asked me out. I rejected the asian version of Steve Erkle! lol..maybe farmer’s market is the new spot of the “Desperate guys looking for dates”.

By LahLah

May 25, 2006 11:13 AM | Link to this

runnin lol!! OK, I guess there are times when a man can possibly be promoted from getting a “Christian Hug” to a ” Wrap My Legs All Around You” type hug. But a couple of things would have had to occur. If for some crazy reason, I agreed to go on another date with him and he totally 100% redeemed himself, if he sent me flowers the next day, if he invited me to his church, if he sang to mein a public place , if he washed my car, if he did my grocery shopping, if he hand fed me my favorite gormet chocolates, or if I found out that he was more paid than I originally thought he was.Then I would consider a more “in depth” hug. If he’s ugly, broke, rude, breath stink, loud and country, no scense of humor, broke, got bad credit, lives with his mama, drives a hooptie, offers to take me to Applebee’s, Golden Corral or CC’s Pizza, Chrisitian Hug it is if he get’s that.

By abc

May 25, 2006 11:14 AM | Link to this

@MB, Dayum. Well, that’s what I’m talkin bout. Chatting up strangers is just plain rude.

By abc

May 25, 2006 11:16 AM | Link to this

@runnininatl, your criticism of Mike is BS, man. All the crap you talk about all the time, and you dish out BS like that.

By Scott

May 25, 2006 11:18 AM | Link to this

This is definitely an interesting topic. I can count on my right hand with fingers to spare the number of times women have actually shown an interest in myself. On the other hand (did anyone catch that nice seguay :-) I have approached women countless times only to be rejected or worse yet been led on. Sometimes I think a girl will see someone that they aren’t necessarily interested BUT will say……Hmmmm, he might make a good friend. Meanwhile a guy will think that she has an actually interest in him. Damn, but you women do make life hard on us since WE are the ones that are constantly having to initiate the first move. Therefore we got shot down and turned down more often. Is it any wonder that I am a basket case when it comes to dating women?? whew!

By Thick

May 25, 2006 11:19 AM | Link to this

@MB Now see, this is when you put your car in reverse and run his a#$ over. I do not like the kinda of men who cannot handle rejection. All the f&#King you and biach is not necessary. I think I am becoming one of those people who prefer growing friendships that develope rather than random see out and flirt with you kinda approaches.

By Stealth Mode

May 25, 2006 11:19 AM | Link to this

Sometimes it can be hard to be sure of a woman’s signals. I’ve read what I thought were positive approach signals (constant looking back, smile, whisper conversation) and then approached and then found out she wasn’t interested. Conversely, I’ve seen women mean mugging in a social setting with my interpretation concluding she doesn’t want to be bothered and then someone approaches and she drops her force field. Unfortunately, every woman seems to think her signals are universally understood and that simply ain’t the case, especially for the ones who are approachable but unintentionally throwing the wrong signals. Once I approach and try to engage in conversation also tells me what’s up. I try to force the conversation in a way to make her talk about herself once I get through introductions. Women who are interested are more willing to talk about themselves. But if she’s extremely vague about general questions or if responses consist of three words or less, that tells me to end it and keep moving. For me, no means no. If I’m rejected in almost all cases I’m out because in most cases I don’t subscribe to the playing hard to get theory. In some cases I might give it a second shot but if you say no, I take you literally at your word.

By sJeaSexyCool

May 25, 2006 11:21 AM | Link to this

mb…so…in other words…having an off-duty cop in the vicinity saved you from a major beatdown…that was NOT smart…sorry…but it wasn’t…

By SeanJohnson

May 25, 2006 11:22 AM | Link to this

@MB..he was dead wrong..i think men like that mess it up for other men. But please dont make it a habit at swinging on dudes..that couldve gotten ugly REAL quick. i am sure u are a classy female so next time something like that happens just smile and tell’em have a nice day. lol

May 25, 2006 11:25 AM | Link to this

MB I’m sorry to hear that had to happen but as an older brother who has a sister with a short temper, I’ll tell you the same thing I keep telling her. There will always be someone out there crazier and bolder than you and you don’t want to run into that person face to face. Glad the cop happened to be there, wouldn’t want to hear about you on the news. abc Everyone is a stranger until you get to know them, whether it’s face to face or otherwise so who are people supposed to meet? LahLah I’m taking notes…lol. Hey, what’s wrong with Applebee’s? Raqi Your last post was too funny! gavi So what, they’re just words, keep it movin. Do I need to go all the way back to sticks and stones…. LOL.

By THE INFAMOUS DK

May 25, 2006 11:26 AM | Link to this

Good Day.. Its all done on the approach.. If they say no, I just figure the missed it and keep it moving to the next Lucky Lady. Its a law of averages and you’ll win some and lose some.. I said a hotel, motel, holiday inn - If yo girl starts acting up then you take her friend..

By Raqi

May 25, 2006 11:29 AM | Link to this

MB you felt justified for hitting him because he called you a bytch. What? That was no reason to hit him. If he don’t report you and the officer I will really be surprised.

By Kym aka Southern Girl

May 25, 2006 11:30 AM | Link to this

@MB No guy is worth going to a night in the gray bar hotel. However, I have wanted to slap a few myself. For example, At the Wednesday Wind down a guy approached and he said the following words that will cause me to ignore anything you say after that. “Shawtay whatcho name is?” After I decided to not say My name is Lightbill. I politely declined and explained I am not looking at this time to make any new friends. He says to me “Thats ok then I am trying to help you out.” It took all the strength I had to not go plumb loco on him.

May 25, 2006 11:31 AM | Link to this

abc I just brought the same sarcasm to the table that he brought, that was unprovoked and unnecessary. So now I’m in the wrong? My bad then bruh. You right though, I should keep quiet when people start referring to other people as “ebonics speaking idiots” on here because it’s not my issue to address.

By Jazzyone

May 25, 2006 11:31 AM | Link to this

Whats up people I had to come outta lurksville to post….MB you trippin’ you lucky he didn’t clock your @zz. Thats just nuts and you need to get a grip. Violence is never the answer. SO what he called you a Biatch..you reinforced that you actually are what he called you when you hit him. Whatever sounds like a dream and crazy at best. ^5 at Sean J.

By THE INFAMOUS DK

May 25, 2006 11:35 AM | Link to this

I still say its in the eyes.. They tell the whole story. They give you whats going on way beyond body language and convo.. A mouth can be fixed to say anything and a body can moved to convey something else, but the eyes wont lie - they cant..

By Jackie

May 25, 2006 11:35 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All, Musing, Miss QC, LahLah, Runnin, Blue, Infamous, etc, etc. Because I have misread signs before and made an embarrassed azz of myself……I don’t even attempt at it anymore. If I’m out and about and see that someone is giving me “The Look”, if I am interested I just smile back and wave. If he continues to flirt, I flirt back and show him that I am interested. Once conversation begins, I try to pick up on similarities and kind of get a feel for their sense of humor and personality. Hell, I smile back and wave even when I am not interested, just so that I won’t get a called a “Btch” or “Stuck Up H”. Point in fact, this weekend I was in Chicago on a business trip. Afterwards, we hung out near Rush Street & Ontario and this guy came up to me in “Visions” ( Yes, they have a Visions in Chicago,too) and said” Oh you ain’t going to speak?” I am like, WTF!, do I know you? He said, “No, but you should, you’ve been missing out boo”. I politely said, Thanks, but I am with my co-workers and we are just enjoying each other’s company. He turned looked at my co-workers and said, “Yeah, whateva, stuck-up B*tch”. I could not believe he said that, no one told me to step with those corny lines, anyway I got a man,so truthfully I wasn’t interested. I believe in being honest up front, so if someone is showing interest, I will usually ask what drew them to me and wait to see what the answer is. If all he says his ” I saw that azz and them lips and said I gotta holla at Lil Momma”, I politely say “Sorry I am married. @Blue, That is the reason why I don’t even bother to listen to Cy-Man’s show anymore. She be asking stupid questions and tell them what their common sense should have already told them.

By LahLah

May 25, 2006 11:36 AM | Link to this

runnin I just don’t like that place. Years ago, the one on Memorial Dr. turned into a ghetto club and I’ve been turned off by Applebee’s every since. Oh also, write me poetry and read it to me or recite it to me out loud! That will most likely get you a good “my chest up against your chest type hug.”

By abc

May 25, 2006 11:38 AM | Link to this

@runnininatl, I meet people at private parties, through playing private musical engagements and theater, other social gatherings where the intent is to be sociable. Bars and clubs serve the same purpose, but to me, are filled with lowlifes and drunks, so aren’t attractive to me. Out and about doing daily activities isn’t the place to meet women, I get irritated when chicks try to chat me up like that, so I assume they’d be the same, and I leave them alone except for pleasantries. @MB, a couple folks have a really good point about the danger you put yourself in, and also about the legal risk you assumed. As rude and out-of-line as that dude was, a bit of name calling doesn’t warrant an assault and battery. I’d be pressing charges, if it was me.

By abc

May 25, 2006 11:39 AM | Link to this

Oh yeah, ebonics speaking thang… I forgot about that. Well, folks are just rude, ain’t they!

By MB

May 25, 2006 11:40 AM | Link to this

gavi No actually I live in Marietta I was at Harry’s and he wasnt even a young dude I could have accepted his stupidity if he was young but he looked to be in his mid 30’s. SeanJohnson I have a temper and I’m usually good at walking away from people who tick me off but yesterday was a bit much. I have a serious issue with that word anyway. No I dont make it a habit of poppin folks in the mouth but just know I dont do anything like that unless Im prepared for whats going to happen next.

By Jackie

May 25, 2006 11:42 AM | Link to this

@LahLah, I don’t know girl. Sometimes that Christian Hug be confusing. My attempts usuall fall because I used to date mostly big & tall brothers and their hugs can be so overwhelming that they break that Christian Hug down and almost pin you to them!

By MB

May 25, 2006 11:42 AM | Link to this

Jea No I wasnt going to get a beat down lol trust me. I was fully prepared.

By Harold

May 25, 2006 11:43 AM | Link to this

One time Harold was having a drink when a woman removed Harold’s hat from his head and then proclaimed to Harold “I did not think Harold was attractive, but he is!” and Harold replied “Too bad you don’t have a hat.”

By Sidelines

May 25, 2006 11:43 AM | Link to this

runnin’, you’re 11:09 post toooo funny! MB, girlfriend, pls be careful out there, in all honesty, she should have arrested you. Ladies, when a man does so much as follow you all the way out to your car, that is a BIG RED FLAG…stop him at the door, end the conversation and if he continues to stand in the door like he’s watching you, go back in the store! MB like you said in your favor, she was female and saw the whole thing go down, but had it been any other officer, you would not be sitting here blogging today. And, that was definitely Agg. Assault (felony) wrap that could ruin your life. Just an FYI, ladies…thank God things turned out alrigh for you, MB.

By DuShawn

May 25, 2006 11:45 AM | Link to this

Good morning all, This is a topic I can relate to. Back when I was a whore monger bachelor, I often had to give women the brush off. After I used their bodies up and the thrill had dissipated, it was time for dismissal. However, some women were hard habits to break. In most cases they had done nothing wrong. They were great in bed and very obedient. I would just grow tired of their company. In retrospect, I should have communicated my disinterest and suggested that we respectfully go our separate ways. Unfortunately for them, I didn’t see the logic of releasing a trained freak from her hypnotic state. Instead, my brush off method was to stop calling (except for booty calls), make them leave immediately after sex (no time to shower, just gather your belongings and step), no dates, no nothing. The smart ones with self esteem would not stand for this disrespectful treatment and quickly leave me alone (which is what I wanted anyway). The silly ones would continue to subject themselves to this abuse until I took mercy on them and ended the mental domination.

By MB

May 25, 2006 11:46 AM | Link to this

Raqi No I never said I felt justified for hitting him I knew I was wrong. It was just one of those moment. Two wrongs dont make a right by any stetch of the imagination. It was just one of those relfex actions.

By mickiedee

May 25, 2006 11:51 AM | Link to this

Um… MB.. what boot camp flash back? Also do you carry a gun? You said you were fully prepared.

By MB

May 25, 2006 11:53 AM | Link to this

Sidelines Understood and I know I was lucky. No I dont make it a habit of hitting folks. Jazzyone I was always taught that you should never mess with people verbally or other wise because you never know if you are the straw thats going to break the camels back. I dont bother people and I try very hard to be nice to men even when I dont want to be bothered. However yesterday dude was my last straw. Its quite possible I could have been his but we dont know. Whatever the case if my actions did enforce what he called me then so be it maybe after what I did yesterday he will think twice before he calls another women that name. So yes I do have a grip but everyone including you has their breaking point.

By Page1908

May 25, 2006 11:57 AM | Link to this

Hello Everyone! said as I model my cute SUNS outfit with the matching stilettos to go with it Runnin sup….cracking up laughing

By Raqi

May 25, 2006 11:57 AM | Link to this

DKATL man, damn them eyes. The “look” in those eyes had be adding milk in my expresso. LOL Now I am raising a little cappuccino.

By LahLah

May 25, 2006 12:00 PM | Link to this

What’s up Jackie yea you have no control over the 6’3” and up dudes.

By storm

May 25, 2006 12:00 PM | Link to this

DuShawn Thanks for the honesty! Your dog days were brutal, huh? I gave fair warning in advance, myself. No one went in blind. Evenso, I had the problem with the guys with self esteem issues who couldn’t accept rejection.

By Jazzyone

May 25, 2006 12:00 PM | Link to this

*MB I do have a breaking point, but Im not punching some guy in the nose or whatever because Im tired. When I reach my breaking point, I meditate, write in my journal and might curse you out in two different languages, get on the treadmill and run to Texas We have diferrent ways of handling things and its all good but no I’m not striking anyone for calling me a name I could care less. We all are different you wrote it I gave my impression on it and we keeps it moving.

May 25, 2006 12:01 PM | Link to this

abc I feel on the music thing, handle that. Like LahLah is saying, a man that can sing, recite poetry, or play a musical instrument is halfway in there…lol. Yeah, I responding to the last, rude part of Mike’s comment but you are right bruh, I still should have ignored it.

May 25, 2006 12:01 PM | Link to this

DuShawn are you sure that the “back when” comment should have proceeded your “whore monger bachelor” statement? you sound pretty proud of yourself. mental domination, trained freak, hypnotic state?? doesn’t sound like you’ve grown up much to me….

By DuShawn

May 25, 2006 12:06 PM | Link to this

@KYM “After I decided to not say My name is Lightbill.” That’s funny as hell. I have never heard a woman say that before.

By Thick

May 25, 2006 12:09 PM | Link to this

Some of you ladies have been called a biach too much.

By QC

May 25, 2006 12:10 PM | Link to this

Page what’s up girlie, your Suns are playing for blood girl!

By THE INFAMOUS DK

May 25, 2006 12:11 PM | Link to this

Raqi Its in the eyes everytime.. They can show you, contempt, disdain, love, pleasure, cooperation and hatred.. Every emotion is conveyed thru out eyes whether we know it or not.. Like in Poker, the eyes are always a tell.. Hence shade wearing.. Unfotunately I have mastered a look thru you look that shows no emotion what so ever..

By MB

May 25, 2006 12:12 PM | Link to this

Jazzyone Well unfortuantely my treadmill wasnt available lol. Whatever the case I am human and do stupid stuff at times. I am always prepared to deal with that ever comes next because I brought it on myself. As far as the breaking point issues we will have to agree to disagree I think everyone has one and based on what they are or have been dealing with in their lives depends on how quickly that point comes. When it does arrive everyone handles it differently.

By DuShawn

May 25, 2006 12:16 PM | Link to this

@KinderbabeI’m neither proud nor ashamed of my behavior as a younger man. It was what it was. The events I described previously happened decades ago. I have evolved into a much more honorable man and a devoted husband and father.

By sJeaSexyCool

May 25, 2006 12:17 PM | Link to this

no dude has ever called me a b***h…to my face…

By Kym aka Southern Girl

May 25, 2006 12:21 PM | Link to this

@DuShawn Oh yes I have said that quite a few time to a few idiots who say stuff like Whatcho name is? One time with my sisters a guy pulled that mess, and I said Yes, My name is Water Bill, these are my sisters Cable and Lightbill, and her children Daycare and Rent, and my son Groceries.

By dustin

May 25, 2006 12:23 PM | Link to this

(1) I do not chase. (2) I do not wait in line. As a man, I find that these two things keep me from wasting a good amount of my time and energy.

By Airborne

May 25, 2006 12:23 PM | Link to this

The predicament of a man ditching a woman is a lot harder than vice-versa. When a man acts as though he is not interested (even if he really isn’t), it generally makes the woman think two things: 1) “Ah.. a REAL challenge.. I’ll get him one way or the other!” 2) “Something must be wrong with me. I’ll go regroup with the girls and try again later.” In short, women have a HARD time being told no, and that goes for the rest of their lives too. Most of we men, myself included, really don’t give a rat’s @ss about rejection.. we’ll just move on to the next one. However, women take it more personal, and they can’t get over being snubbed by a man. Personally, I like doing it.. it’s payback for the early years when I was less than appealing while in high school. Payback’s a b!tch.. lol.

By MB

May 25, 2006 12:24 PM | Link to this

Someone made a comment about mean muggin lol. I cant speak for other women however, I think when women have that “dont mess with me look” on their face its not always because they want men to leave them alone. I know when Im out I have about 2 million things going through my head what I need to do, is this on sale yada yada and I’m sure there are times I looked mean and didnt even know it. When in reality Im just thinking things through. However the minute someone says something to me no matter what kind of day Im having I still put forth and effort to be nice. So the look on someones face is not always a clear indication of it they want to be bothered or not.