accessAtlanta

May 25, 2006 08:40 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Everyone!!! It’s Thursday!!!!

May 25, 2006 08:42 AM | Link to this

* What’s up QC!!*

By LahLah

May 25, 2006 08:47 AM | Link to this

Hi all of you fabulous peoples!!!! Good game last night huh! Pretty dog on close. I think for the most part, it is quite easy to read those “yes” signs. Body language is one of the first ways that you can detect someone’s genuine interest in you. If someone is comfortable with you it shows through the way they sit, stand, if they are fidgety if there arms are folded or if they are relaxed. It’s all relative. “Yes” signs are also easy to detect when someone shows interest through their conversations/questions. Where are you from? What’s your family like? Do you like to travel? Do you go to church?……. Those type questions show interest. Me personally, when I’m receiving mixed signals from a guy, I try to hold out a little while just to see if his angle will become clearer to me. I have no clue “when no means yes.” None of us should EVER try to figure that one out because NO MEANS NO. If someone says, “no I’m not interested in you.” Take them at their word. If they say,” no I don’t want to see you again,” honor that. Don’t read into anything. OOHH Lawd, I have a story for you guys, totally related to the topic. I’ll wait till after lunch to share. I’ll entitle it, “The Return of the Decon.!!!!” True story…..

By LahLah

May 25, 2006 08:48 AM | Link to this

QC & 3rd what’s up ladies.

By QC

May 25, 2006 08:52 AM | Link to this

LahLah, 3rd have a blessed day ladies! Morning Blue_Kollar ;)

By Tray

May 25, 2006 08:58 AM | Link to this

good morning! oh lawdy the weekend is near, YEA! ok this topic sounds fun, I think I can relates a bit. what about when you exchange digits and there could have been interest but you just aren’t sure. After a day or two you realize, hey that person wasn’t so bad. do you call, do you not, wait for them, what. well for me I’m gonna be a brazen b!tch and call, what the heck!!

By JustMe

May 25, 2006 09:10 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Bloggers - It’s my Friday!!!! Being that I am very picky about the men I date, I tend to reject most flirtatious advances that are made toward me for a variety of reasons. It doesn’t take long for me to know I’m not intrested in a guy, and I hate to lead guys on(unless he’s a repair man) and then have to drop’em like it’s hot later on. I won’t lie about my reason for not being intrested either. I figure if he’s brave enough to ask for the digits and I don’t want to giv’em up I say no, if he persists and asks why not, then I tell him exactly why not in my sweetest Girl 6 voice. I was born and raised in Detroit (GO PISTONS) and there is a difference in how men accept rejection. In Detroit if a guy tried to holla at you and you turned him down, you would be every Itchbey in the book, a freak , a hoe, etc. etc. because you rejected his advances, or they srcream at your back as you walk away, I just wanted to F U that’s all - Sad Sad Sad! In GA, I have found guys to be nicer about accepting rejection (some of them actually like it), but they are also more persistent in their advances. Telling them no once is usually not enough. I’ve been dumping this guy I dated last year since August ‘05 - He called me yesterday at work, wanting to know if I was still dating my new guy. My motto is ask no questions and I’ll tell no lies. It made him no difference at all, he wanted to know if he could come to visit, or take me to lunch, or just get a hug, anything to see me. Then there is the Wal-Mart guy….. he’s 5’7”ish, I’m 6”0” before the heels go on. Everytime I see him, he looks like he’s hypnotized. He ask for my number, I tell him no very politely, he asks if I would call him, I nicely say no, and he smiles from ear to ear as I walk away. I see him every blue moon in Wal-mart and it the same scenario every time. As far as reading “yes signs” goes, I rarely approach eyecandy…. oop’s I meant to say men, so if there are any signs, it’s a given they are intrested because they are persuing me. Mixed messages eventually lead to, call me on the 33rd of Neveruary. Why? Because ya just might be playing games! No only means yes when I see diamonds after the initial no and just before the question is asked again :-) Yes they should work harder to impress me and buy me bigger diamonds - Hee Hee Hee

By NC4Life

May 25, 2006 09:18 AM | Link to this

This is my first time posting. My friends and I have what we call the Save a Hoe committe. When someone doesn’t understand the meaning of “no”, we all go to save the hoe. It works!

By abc

May 25, 2006 09:21 AM | Link to this

It’s a moot point for me. I’d never approach a stranger whether I found her attractive or not, and I just make nice conversation when I’m approached. I don’t go to bars and clubs. There’s better ways to meet people. If you get a lot of unwanted and unsolicited approaches, I’d say you should change your venue.

May 25, 2006 09:22 AM | Link to this

Hello Beautiful people If this posts twice, then opps - my bad! Since i’m a natural flirt, its kinda hard and i keep on giving out wrong signals to the wrong people. So i try to watch how i act with certain ppl, as i learned from bad experiences!! Now, i do not understand the “yes” signs, as i’m sure they vary with ppl. Its frustrating as hell, to look for them yes/no, no/yes signs. I’m just a straight up person, if i’m feeling u..i’ll let u know by giving certain specific comments and so on.

May 25, 2006 09:22 AM | Link to this

What it do people. I can’t believe Phoenix keeps winning, dang! Ok, this topic should be very entertaining today…lol. I am the confident, obvious flirt so I just put it out there and wait for the green light or red light from the ladies…lol. I handle rejection much better than that gnawing feeling wondering “what if you had approached her and…….” It is easy to read signs, as I’ve said before, game recognize game. If you are aggressive then you see the signs and run with it. You can let it be known that you are trying to holla or you can start a more subtle chase, whatever works for you. If there are mixed messages then you have to be more creative and interrogate her more, like LahLah said, you ask questions but the key is if she asks you questions back. That usually means there is some genuine interest there. If you are asking her all the questions and carrying the conversation then it’s time to catch the hint. I pride myself on taking hints, makes things easier. I’ve never stalked, not that serious. Now I have been caught up and blown someone’s voicemail up before but that’s it…..lol. When does no mean yes? Man, that’s how you catch a case! I need bright green lights, no yellow, lime green, turquoise, none of that mess….bright green!

May 25, 2006 09:26 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Good People!! QC ;) May I say that when I approach and make my move, I’m looking for body language, reception, tone of voice, etc. If all of that is not there, I have no problem and waste no time gettin’ my step on and definately don’t take it personal. People Tip #1: No NEVER means Yes! Man Tip #12: Just as ladies are expected to be pleasant and polite, always leave a potential future “sale” with a Have a good evening salutation and a smile.

By QC

May 25, 2006 09:29 AM | Link to this

Runnin i feel ya about Phoenix, it makes you wanna say what the hell is going on i’m sure MissSuns2006 aka Page will fill us in when she pops in, she’ll be wearing a cute Suns outfit w/heels i’m sure lol…. Hey Musing, DG, abc, db, G, Mista

May 25, 2006 09:31 AM | Link to this

Welcome - NC4Life Ladies wussup - QC, 3rd, LahLah Gents - RunninA, Blue-K

May 25, 2006 09:33 AM | Link to this

Lah Lah what’s up

May 25, 2006 09:35 AM | Link to this

What’s up Gavi

May 25, 2006 09:38 AM | Link to this

RunninA - there u go!! now, c if i do see some a man looking my way giving me flit looks, hints .. I will smile back if i’m feeling him! I will give GREEN signs all over that mug..lol. But now, if homeboy is all jacked up giving out signs, puuhllez don’t look my way..because i can’t see you!! I’ve gotten to that stage where i don’t really approach men, but do make it known by i guess the smile, looks & all!!

May 25, 2006 09:39 AM | Link to this

blue kolla good that you mentioned body language, eye contact and such. i don’t think a lot of folks, men and women alike, are totally aware of what type of vibe they’re giving off. sometimes women are mean mugging men during an exchange and not even know it…i call it the angry sistah vibe, lol. both sexes are responsible for presenting themselves in a positive light, as you said. there’s no harm in being polite.:)

May 25, 2006 09:39 AM | Link to this

Morn’in All, This should be a good topic today…I have found that as a Man, Women often give very shady signs of interest. Women smile or stare at you,and the minute you go over, you get the “You talk’in to me” attitude. WTH…If a Woman likes a man, tell him you like him and grab his butt…That way we both will know…LOL

May 25, 2006 09:40 AM | Link to this

Morning all No only means yes when I see diamonds after the initial no and just before the question is asked again :-) Yes they should work harder to impress me and buy me bigger diamonds LOL @ JustMe u nut! That doesn’t mean yes, that means psycotic!

May 25, 2006 09:41 AM | Link to this

Who is this silly azz “psychic” broad on Cy-Man’s radio show?! Psychic = Psuedo Counselor/Therapist = Lesser strain of the Chump parasite (usually female and getting paid) with NO advanced degree telling common-senseLESS people (some with degrees) how stupid they are. Example: Miss Cleo

By QC

May 25, 2006 09:45 AM | Link to this

Hai Gavi

May 25, 2006 09:46 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All, Apparently Spring Fever has sprung. I am trying to see have I ever really approached a guy. Nawww. I have admire them from a far but never really walked up and said give me your number.My motto is “I will chase you until you catch me.” Now if a guy approaches me and I am not interested then I say No. If he keeps asking I keep saying No and he walks away, happy, mad, or indifferent. I dont respond well to overly agressive men.

May 25, 2006 09:49 AM | Link to this

MsE I looked at JustMe’s comment and drew a blank. What is she on today ‘cause I need some of that? LOL

May 25, 2006 09:49 AM | Link to this

This is a good topic.i really dont see it but people consider me a flirt..i see it as just being able to talk to women with out making them feel like i want to get in bed with them. i usually approach the quiet cute women that keep to themselves. reason being the quiet ones usually have more to say when u get to know them..hint hint. Women have so many suble signs that they are interested that if your radar isnt on u can miss them. An afterwards you find out that they have had their eyes on you for a while.

May 25, 2006 09:51 AM | Link to this

unfortunately…to some…NO just means New Opportunities… thought for today…sometimes NO just means New Opportunities…

May 25, 2006 09:52 AM | Link to this

Sup QC. Yeah, I thought Dallas had it when ol boy hit that jumper with like 4 seconds left but how did Dallas give up a dang layup in 4 seconds??? It might be their year so I’m ducking Page today…lol. As far as making someone work to impress you, there is a fine line because at a certain point it can just be game. Again, I prefer to save the games for Xbox. But there is fun in the chase, so that’s why there is a fine line. I think common courtesy helps keep the chase fun and helps minimize childish games at the same time. That can be as simple as returning a phone call or initiating one. I think your approach and everything does change from place to place. I grew up in NY but moved to the A when I was 16. When I first started going back to NY as a single adult my cousins had to check me on my approach. That walking up on a female in Bedstuy can get you cut for real! I’ve definitely learned to wait for signs (bright green lights) but then again I still have to watch it because I have that I don’t care, I don’t live here attitude when I’m there too. I see the same type of thing when I go visit Miami. Especially when I approach Cuban women because they tend to stick with their own there and the Latino dudes are real protective. I mean they will practically walk up and listen in on your conversation when you are speaking to a Cuban female there…lol. I was in the military and so I’ve learned you have to be respectful of other people’s cultures and their ways in foreign places so you do not offend anyone.

By mickiedee

May 25, 2006 09:54 AM | Link to this

abc, you never approach a stranger anywhere? I never heard a man say that before. I must run into a lot of those types. I get a lot of starers but it is rare for a man to actually say something. It could also be my body language. I haven’t figured it out.

By LahLah

May 25, 2006 09:55 AM | Link to this

Hey Gavi

By demigod_Love Machine

May 25, 2006 09:55 AM | Link to this

Morning All I will be in lurksville much of the day, so peace!! note to all: will be back on in the afternoon with my nonsenses and very foolish behavor

By mickiedee

May 25, 2006 09:57 AM | Link to this

Speaking of body language, what exactly is a turn off? I do smile so what could be the problem?

May 25, 2006 09:58 AM | Link to this

Hello Everyone, For me, its not that hard to figure out…if I’m attracted to you, you will know. Signs of attraction, the eye contact, subtle touches, conversattion and if you get kiss at the end of the night…it’s a green light. If none of those things happen during the course of the date….it’s NO(a big flashing RED LIGHT and a whistle).

May 25, 2006 10:03 AM | Link to this

I’ve only had a few negative responses to brush offs in recent years. Granted… my brush off has been toned way down since I moved south though. Now I smile and shake my head no and keep walking. Previously, (when up north), I would cut the evil eye with the “As if!” flavor to it which did get some “stuck up and mean b*” responses. That said, I think you pretty much get back what you give. Because my brush off is so nice, I have been termed a flirt, which I can be, but I know when I’m doing it, and it isn’t half as much as when I’m accused. I just sympathize with those who approach, because it can’t be easy to be rejected on the regular.

May 25, 2006 10:04 AM | Link to this

gavi That’s what I’m talking about. If I smile, make eye contact and get all that back then that’s an easy approach. Now the mean muggin women require a more tactful yet clever approach because you have to get her attention and think of something funny to say quick to get her to smile and unfold her arms. Sometimes you can’t get both, the arms and a smile, so you have to settle for one and wait for stronger “no” hints…lol. thought for today…sometimes NO just means New Opportunities… “thought for today….sometimes NO just means New Opportunities“….sJea, I hear ya but I spent 4 years in sales and I was taught not to take the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd no…lol. But I’m not trying to be a bug-a-boo either so I can separate sales from real life…lol. Then again, it’s dating really just selling yourself? Another thought for the day.

May 25, 2006 10:05 AM | Link to this

great topic Diva……..can’t wait to see what you come up with next…..

May 25, 2006 10:11 AM | Link to this

sJea like your comment about N.ew O.pportunites…very positive. thanks :)

By QC

May 25, 2006 10:12 AM | Link to this

I will admit that i’m a flirty flirt smiling at someone and making eye contact are the 2 key things i do all the time….DG you’re in lurkesville, ok well sit back, relax and we’ll talk this afternoon ;)

May 25, 2006 10:13 AM | Link to this

Runnin That’s exactly what your doing - marketing yourself to potential caretakers.

May 25, 2006 10:15 AM | Link to this

Kym the chase is fine as long as you remember that at some point you have to allow yourself to be caught, or at least pinned down for a little while…lol. PD357 Those aren’t hints, that’s a roadmap to success…lol. It’s the subtle things that are tricky.

By jay

May 25, 2006 10:16 AM | Link to this

Good Morning ALL I understand when a lady says “NO” it means no. But ladies when a guy says “NO” do you back off or what?

By I'm Right

May 25, 2006 10:16 AM | Link to this

Tell him you have genital warts and an open sore, and that now just isn’t a good time. Ask for rain check and his number. You’ll get neither and he’ll get the message.

May 25, 2006 10:16 AM | Link to this

@ RunninA - yeah..u know.. but again..all of this only will happen from my part if i’m feeling the guy..otherwise, i will use..repeat use the mean mugging looks if he’s tries me the wrong way. Also, i don’t walk around smiling at folks, so yes i look mean on a normal day..lol!!! Sometimes, though..just so the guy shuts up and leaves i just take their card/number whatever and pretend that i’m gonna call! Now it makes me mad, and shake my head when i do see a fine guy, looking my way several times..While i smile back, go primp up myself again tryin to look cute and the dude does Nothing!! What bout then??

May 25, 2006 10:16 AM | Link to this

@ 2 can..where u been?

By Vanilla

May 25, 2006 10:19 AM | Link to this

Today’s topic isn’t half as good as yesterday’s, y’all were off the chain and i really enjoyed reading this blog all day. But today is boring, very, very boring. But for those who are commenting enjoy, maybe it’ll pick up this afternoon, smooches

By QC

May 25, 2006 10:20 AM | Link to this

Hey VaN if you’re lurking

May 25, 2006 10:21 AM | Link to this

Speaking of body lauguage…believe me i enjoy the way women dress when they are going out..its hard to read body language..because females can have an outfit on that is indicating everybody as green light but dudes are steady getting tickets for reckless eyeballing. So sometimes females have to expect to be approached a lot.

May 25, 2006 10:23 AM | Link to this

gavi, chillin in the cut….

By G

May 25, 2006 10:24 AM | Link to this

It really doesn’t take long for me to realize where things are going. My patience is short when I think my time is being wasted. Much like what runnin and LaLa was saying, she needs to ask me questions also. This usually shows mutual interest. A whole bunch of short “Yes/No” answers will end the conversation within 2 minutes for me. I won’t even waste my time asking for the number. I won’t give anyone the satisfaction of turning me down…..when I see it coming. Every now and then I get fooled by a “committed” woman that’s just there to play. Either way, I will end it with a polite…….”It was nice talking to you. Enjoy the rest of your evening.” Yeah, right. There are too many women in ATL to waste your time on one “Ms. NoNo”.

By LahLah

May 25, 2006 10:27 AM | Link to this

Hey guys, if at the end of a date, a women gives you a “Christian Hug.” That’s a sign that she’s just not that into you. What is a Christian Hug you ask???? A Christian Hug is when a women hugs you with her butt sticking out away from your body and she gives you a firm pat on the back. If you get that, you can just forget about it.

By abc

May 25, 2006 10:28 AM | Link to this

@mickiedee, no, I never approach strangers like that. I consider it rude. I’ll give a nod and a smile to a beautiful woman if our eyes meet, but it’s always in the elevator, in the store, the gym, out and about wherever. My own body language keeps them from taking it any further, I’m sure. I don’t want to meet strangers like that. The starers kind of bug me too. Chicks are better at not getting caught at it than guys are.

By mike

May 25, 2006 10:28 AM | Link to this

All the reasons above is exactly why I bought a dog and couldn’t be happier. My dog has never lied to me, lead me on, cheated on me. It’s been bliss. I love the excited I get when I come home. In defense of women however. If I was a woman and approached by some the ebonics speaking idiots I have read in this blog I wouldn’t be letting anyone down easy.

May 25, 2006 10:32 AM | Link to this

Runnin Please expound…provide clarity. How can subtle hints be tricky?

By jay

May 25, 2006 10:36 AM | Link to this

@LahLah Christian Hug…That’s funny.

May 25, 2006 10:38 AM | Link to this

SeanJohnson i understand what you are saying about scantily clad women sending mixed messages. however, body language refers to gestures that one makes with their body not how one clothes their body. i agree that if a sistah knows she doesn’t feel like being bothered, it may not be wise to come out in the micro mini and halter top, lol b/c some brothas may be inclined to look/approach. paying attention to a woman’s gestures is most important though…true body language.

By JustMe

May 25, 2006 10:40 AM | Link to this

@Blue I’m on a Double dose of Itsmyfridaylongextendedholidayweekendmysonisleavingforthesummer javalatte. It’s a natural herbal mix of excitement and anticipation. Shall I brew you a cup?

By storm

May 25, 2006 10:41 AM | Link to this

BLOGGERS WHAT’S UP!! runnin Awww… you can admit to being caught up - WOW! How many guys admit to that? And I feel you on the bright green light thing. Saves much wasted time. Blue Tip #2 - LMAO! Kym I will chase you until you catch me. LOVE IT! Mickiedee I’d like to know whatsup with the staring thing, too! I get lots of stares yet never approached - unless it’s by someone I’m not attracted to.

By storm

May 25, 2006 10:41 AM | Link to this

BLOGGERS WHAT’S UP!! runnin Awww… you can admit to being caught up - WOW! How many guys admit to that? And I feel you on the bright green light thing. Saves much wasted time. Blue Tip #2 - LMAO! Kym I will chase you until you catch me. LOVE IT! Mickiedee I’d like to know whatsup with the staring thing, too! I get lots of stares yet never approached - unless it’s by someone I’m not attracted to.

May 25, 2006 10:41 AM | Link to this

gavi A female on the blog actually said yesterday what the men on this blog have been saying for weeks. When a woman stops waiting to be chosen and starts choosing, then she will be much happier with her selection of men. If you are feeling a guy to the point where you are re-primping to get another look from him then there is nothing wrong with approaching him. Maybe it’s just not in some people but what do you really have to lose? Nothing but a few seconds of your time. So LahLah, there is no hope in upgrading from a Christian hug to wrap my legs around you hug?…lol.

May 25, 2006 10:48 AM | Link to this

@ Mike - that’s cute. But its annoying when you compare that affection to one with of a woman!! Yea the dog love is unconditional, stable etc etc. But we all know that human love is wayyy better.

By Thick

May 25, 2006 10:49 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Everyone I probably need to work on my communication skills here because I really don’t try to read signs to find out if anyone is interested in me or not. This may be a defense mechanism I use, I’ll have to check that out. No means No, if I want I will say yes but I say No take NO. Guys in Atlanta and much of the south are polite but up north you get harassed a little when you reject them. @Lah Lah don’t tell them about the Christian Hug, I use that on the first date, keeps the men guessing. LOL

By G

May 25, 2006 10:53 AM | Link to this

Almost forgot about the mean-mugs. It takes a couple of drinks to even think about approaching Ms. M&M. Christian Hug?LOL!!! After a date? It doesn’t happen too often for me. But her number is usually deleted as quick as her taps on my back. Christian Hug. I have to use that one.

May 25, 2006 10:54 AM | Link to this

MsE, that was funny…lol! Morning everyone, back to lurksville!

By jay

May 25, 2006 10:56 AM | Link to this

Seriously, I know a guy like Wise Diva’s friend Eric. He is just a laid back can’t say no type of guy and almost ended up with a girl with 5 or 6 kids. She didnt look like she had any & she had the right look, body etc. She wasn’t trying to trick’em, but he fell for her conversation and personality & got so close he had a hard time saying no. That taught me and I will advise anyone to write down what they are looking for in “Mr. Right” and give a copy to your friends. So they can remind you what your goals are.

May 25, 2006 11:01 AM | Link to this

PD357 Subtle hints can be tricky when the two people are feeling different things. One person just may be a flirt and enjoy hanging out while the other person is hanging out and thinking about taking things further. Sometimes people are just on different pages. Like my former co-worker crush, she was good for not-so-subtle hints, a huge flirt, but she was also good for smacking me back into the friendship zone when she felt like it…lol. G There you go, you have to beat them to the punch sometimes, flip the script.

By Raqi

May 25, 2006 11:03 AM | Link to this

The day of innocence is gone forever. I remember when my kid brother and I would go to the mall or walk down to the store…he had to be about 13 or 14y/o…and when he saw a girl that he thought was cute he would straight out ask her “Hey girl, you like me?”. The answer would always be NO, but it would either be a “naaaw, I don’t like you” accompanied by a smile so big you could see her back molars or it would be a “NO” accompanied by a turned up nose and a slight neck eye roll combination. He would follow the latter up with a “so stop looking at me then” which the girl usually responded to with a hard shove and a “get outta my face” or a nice little I am trying not to smile grin. Only if it was still that easy and innocent.

By G

May 25, 2006 11:03 AM | Link to this

@Gavi…Maybe he wants to holla at you too, but previously got rejected by someone as cute as you. He’s like…”naawww, I’m not falling for that again tonite.”….then he takes the rest of the night off and tries again tomorrow. I could be wrong. So the next time it happens, approach him to find out. Let us know!

By MB

May 25, 2006 11:04 AM | Link to this

WD You must have been reading my mind. After all that talk of food yesterday I decided to cook. I stopped at a local farmers makert when I left work. I was picking up some vegetables minding my own business and this guy starts talking to me. I didnt consider what he was doing flirting but then again I dont really understand flirting. To me its a huge waste of time. At any rate I really didnt want to talk to anyone I just wanted to get my groceries and go home and cook and be quiet. I had to take a second to remind myself its not this mans fault that I am tired so I will be polite to him. So we had some meaningless conversation about how I prepare eggplant. I gave my best Oscar award winning performance with the smiles and the whole bit because I wanted to hurry up and end this. This man followed me through the store and was just running his mouth. I thought once I got to the check out counter finally I had escaped. However I was not that lucky. He followed me to the parking lot blabbing all the way. Finally I got to my car and he asked the question, “So do you think I can call you some time so we can go out?” Once again in my most polite voice I said, “It was nice talking to you and thank you for the offer but no thank you.” He said, “Well do you have man.” My reply no but once again thank you.” Do you know this man looked at me and said well “F” you the and proceeded to call me the “B” word. I almost caught a case the minute the “B” word came out of his mouth I dont know if I had a boot camp flash back or, or if it was just a reflex action but I punched him dead in his nose. I swear I didnt mean to do it, it just ticked me off that I was being polite to this person and even let him down politely and all of a sudden Im the “B” word. Well I guess luck was on my side because there was a police officer (thankfully female) who was off duty but she was parked right behind me and she watched the whole conversation go down. Dudes nose was bleeding and she got out her car and let us know who she was showed the badge and whole deal. He wanted to press charges she told him to get real basically but she did help him with the bloody nose. Of course she came out and talked to me because after all I did clock dude in the face and it wasnt self defense. However she did admit she probably would have punched him to after he said what he said. At any rate I dont get flirting to me its much easier when men just come out and say what they have to say. I dont flirt because its not something I feel is important.

May 25, 2006 11:07 AM | Link to this

I agree with the hug thing ppl. If i aint feeling you, i wont’ wrap my body around you and squeeze tight!! U get no feel of nothing.. If u’re the “friend only” type, then you get a side hug, while my hand pats ure back!! @ RunninA - u are absolutely correct, but gosh i just dont’ have that much boldness in me, and then i dont wanna attack the martini’s if i hear something i dont’ wanna hear or get the wrong response. @ JustMe - i don’t mind a cup.. Thanks..( bowing down asian style again )

May 25, 2006 11:09 AM | Link to this

gavi We don’t address negativity, remember? That’s what the crazy and bitterly lonely people want you to do. So let Mike remain in his kennel world with his faithful pet that he does doggie style every night and hope that he uses protection because we don’t want the dog to catch anything with all the “down low” men out there.

By QC

May 25, 2006 11:10 AM | Link to this

LahLah That is sooooo true about the “christian hug” wow DG how do you feel about getting a “christian hug”?

By Janae

May 25, 2006 11:11 AM | Link to this

Morning Everyone.

May 25, 2006 11:12 AM | Link to this

@ MB - woooww… That’s crazy..And u Go Girl!! he prolly can’t even spell the B word..sucka.. Where u at Dekalb Farmer’s market?? cause last wk, this dude did start talking to me by the bakery section and asked me out. I rejected the asian version of Steve Erkle! lol..maybe farmer’s market is the new spot of the “Desperate guys looking for dates”.

By LahLah

May 25, 2006 11:13 AM | Link to this

runnin lol!! OK, I guess there are times when a man can possibly be promoted from getting a “Christian Hug” to a ” Wrap My Legs All Around You” type hug. But a couple of things would have had to occur. If for some crazy reason, I agreed to go on another date with him and he totally 100% redeemed himself, if he sent me flowers the next day, if he invited me to his church, if he sang to mein a public place , if he washed my car, if he did my grocery shopping, if he hand fed me my favorite gormet chocolates, or if I found out that he was more paid than I originally thought he was.Then I would consider a more “in depth” hug. If he’s ugly, broke, rude, breath stink, loud and country, no scense of humor, broke, got bad credit, lives with his mama, drives a hooptie, offers to take me to Applebee’s, Golden Corral or CC’s Pizza, Chrisitian Hug it is if he get’s that.

By abc

May 25, 2006 11:14 AM | Link to this

@MB, Dayum. Well, that’s what I’m talkin bout. Chatting up strangers is just plain rude.

By abc

May 25, 2006 11:16 AM | Link to this

@runnininatl, your criticism of Mike is BS, man. All the crap you talk about all the time, and you dish out BS like that.

By Scott

May 25, 2006 11:18 AM | Link to this

This is definitely an interesting topic. I can count on my right hand with fingers to spare the number of times women have actually shown an interest in myself. On the other hand (did anyone catch that nice seguay :-) I have approached women countless times only to be rejected or worse yet been led on. Sometimes I think a girl will see someone that they aren’t necessarily interested BUT will say……Hmmmm, he might make a good friend. Meanwhile a guy will think that she has an actually interest in him. Damn, but you women do make life hard on us since WE are the ones that are constantly having to initiate the first move. Therefore we got shot down and turned down more often. Is it any wonder that I am a basket case when it comes to dating women?? whew!

By Thick

May 25, 2006 11:19 AM | Link to this

@MB Now see, this is when you put your car in reverse and run his a#$ over. I do not like the kinda of men who cannot handle rejection. All the f&#King you and biach is not necessary. I think I am becoming one of those people who prefer growing friendships that develope rather than random see out and flirt with you kinda approaches.

By Stealth Mode

May 25, 2006 11:19 AM | Link to this

Sometimes it can be hard to be sure of a woman’s signals. I’ve read what I thought were positive approach signals (constant looking back, smile, whisper conversation) and then approached and then found out she wasn’t interested. Conversely, I’ve seen women mean mugging in a social setting with my interpretation concluding she doesn’t want to be bothered and then someone approaches and she drops her force field. Unfortunately, every woman seems to think her signals are universally understood and that simply ain’t the case, especially for the ones who are approachable but unintentionally throwing the wrong signals. Once I approach and try to engage in conversation also tells me what’s up. I try to force the conversation in a way to make her talk about herself once I get through introductions. Women who are interested are more willing to talk about themselves. But if she’s extremely vague about general questions or if responses consist of three words or less, that tells me to end it and keep moving. For me, no means no. If I’m rejected in almost all cases I’m out because in most cases I don’t subscribe to the playing hard to get theory. In some cases I might give it a second shot but if you say no, I take you literally at your word.

May 25, 2006 11:21 AM | Link to this

mb…so…in other words…having an off-duty cop in the vicinity saved you from a major beatdown…that was NOT smart…sorry…but it wasn’t…

May 25, 2006 11:22 AM | Link to this

@MB..he was dead wrong..i think men like that mess it up for other men. But please dont make it a habit at swinging on dudes..that couldve gotten ugly REAL quick. i am sure u are a classy female so next time something like that happens just smile and tell’em have a nice day. lol

May 25, 2006 11:25 AM | Link to this

MB I’m sorry to hear that had to happen but as an older brother who has a sister with a short temper, I’ll tell you the same thing I keep telling her. There will always be someone out there crazier and bolder than you and you don’t want to run into that person face to face. Glad the cop happened to be there, wouldn’t want to hear about you on the news. abc Everyone is a stranger until you get to know them, whether it’s face to face or otherwise so who are people supposed to meet? LahLah I’m taking notes…lol. Hey, what’s wrong with Applebee’s? Raqi Your last post was too funny! gavi So what, they’re just words, keep it movin. Do I need to go all the way back to sticks and stones…. LOL.

By THE INFAMOUS DK

May 25, 2006 11:26 AM | Link to this

Good Day.. Its all done on the approach.. If they say no, I just figure the missed it and keep it moving to the next Lucky Lady. Its a law of averages and you’ll win some and lose some.. I said a hotel, motel, holiday inn - If yo girl starts acting up then you take her friend..

By Raqi

May 25, 2006 11:29 AM | Link to this

MB you felt justified for hitting him because he called you a bytch. What? That was no reason to hit him. If he don’t report you and the officer I will really be surprised.

May 25, 2006 11:30 AM | Link to this

@MB No guy is worth going to a night in the gray bar hotel. However, I have wanted to slap a few myself. For example, At the Wednesday Wind down a guy approached and he said the following words that will cause me to ignore anything you say after that. “Shawtay whatcho name is?” After I decided to not say My name is Lightbill. I politely declined and explained I am not looking at this time to make any new friends. He says to me “Thats ok then I am trying to help you out.” It took all the strength I had to not go plumb loco on him.

May 25, 2006 11:31 AM | Link to this

abc I just brought the same sarcasm to the table that he brought, that was unprovoked and unnecessary. So now I’m in the wrong? My bad then bruh. You right though, I should keep quiet when people start referring to other people as “ebonics speaking idiots” on here because it’s not my issue to address.

May 25, 2006 11:31 AM | Link to this

Whats up people I had to come outta lurksville to post….MB you trippin’ you lucky he didn’t clock your @zz. Thats just nuts and you need to get a grip. Violence is never the answer. SO what he called you a Biatch..you reinforced that you actually are what he called you when you hit him. Whatever sounds like a dream and crazy at best. ^5 at Sean J.

By THE INFAMOUS DK

May 25, 2006 11:35 AM | Link to this

I still say its in the eyes.. They tell the whole story. They give you whats going on way beyond body language and convo.. A mouth can be fixed to say anything and a body can moved to convey something else, but the eyes wont lie - they cant..

By Jackie

May 25, 2006 11:35 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All, Musing, Miss QC, LahLah, Runnin, Blue, Infamous, etc, etc. Because I have misread signs before and made an embarrassed azz of myself……I don’t even attempt at it anymore. If I’m out and about and see that someone is giving me “The Look”, if I am interested I just smile back and wave. If he continues to flirt, I flirt back and show him that I am interested. Once conversation begins, I try to pick up on similarities and kind of get a feel for their sense of humor and personality. Hell, I smile back and wave even when I am not interested, just so that I won’t get a called a “Btch” or “Stuck Up H”. Point in fact, this weekend I was in Chicago on a business trip. Afterwards, we hung out near Rush Street & Ontario and this guy came up to me in “Visions” ( Yes, they have a Visions in Chicago,too) and said” Oh you ain’t going to speak?” I am like, WTF!, do I know you? He said, “No, but you should, you’ve been missing out boo”. I politely said, Thanks, but I am with my co-workers and we are just enjoying each other’s company. He turned looked at my co-workers and said, “Yeah, whateva, stuck-up B*tch”. I could not believe he said that, no one told me to step with those corny lines, anyway I got a man,so truthfully I wasn’t interested. I believe in being honest up front, so if someone is showing interest, I will usually ask what drew them to me and wait to see what the answer is. If all he says his ” I saw that azz and them lips and said I gotta holla at Lil Momma”, I politely say “Sorry I am married. @Blue, That is the reason why I don’t even bother to listen to Cy-Man’s show anymore. She be asking stupid questions and tell them what their common sense should have already told them.

By LahLah

May 25, 2006 11:36 AM | Link to this

runnin I just don’t like that place. Years ago, the one on Memorial Dr. turned into a ghetto club and I’ve been turned off by Applebee’s every since. Oh also, write me poetry and read it to me or recite it to me out loud! That will most likely get you a good “my chest up against your chest type hug.”

By abc

May 25, 2006 11:38 AM | Link to this

@runnininatl, I meet people at private parties, through playing private musical engagements and theater, other social gatherings where the intent is to be sociable. Bars and clubs serve the same purpose, but to me, are filled with lowlifes and drunks, so aren’t attractive to me. Out and about doing daily activities isn’t the place to meet women, I get irritated when chicks try to chat me up like that, so I assume they’d be the same, and I leave them alone except for pleasantries. @MB, a couple folks have a really good point about the danger you put yourself in, and also about the legal risk you assumed. As rude and out-of-line as that dude was, a bit of name calling doesn’t warrant an assault and battery. I’d be pressing charges, if it was me.

By abc

May 25, 2006 11:39 AM | Link to this

Oh yeah, ebonics speaking thang… I forgot about that. Well, folks are just rude, ain’t they!

By MB

May 25, 2006 11:40 AM | Link to this

gavi No actually I live in Marietta I was at Harry’s and he wasnt even a young dude I could have accepted his stupidity if he was young but he looked to be in his mid 30’s. SeanJohnson I have a temper and I’m usually good at walking away from people who tick me off but yesterday was a bit much. I have a serious issue with that word anyway. No I dont make it a habit of poppin folks in the mouth but just know I dont do anything like that unless Im prepared for whats going to happen next.

By Jackie

May 25, 2006 11:42 AM | Link to this

@LahLah, I don’t know girl. Sometimes that Christian Hug be confusing. My attempts usuall fall because I used to date mostly big & tall brothers and their hugs can be so overwhelming that they break that Christian Hug down and almost pin you to them!

By MB

May 25, 2006 11:42 AM | Link to this

Jea No I wasnt going to get a beat down lol trust me. I was fully prepared.

By Harold

May 25, 2006 11:43 AM | Link to this

One time Harold was having a drink when a woman removed Harold’s hat from his head and then proclaimed to Harold “I did not think Harold was attractive, but he is!” and Harold replied “Too bad you don’t have a hat.”

May 25, 2006 11:43 AM | Link to this

runnin’, you’re 11:09 post toooo funny! MB, girlfriend, pls be careful out there, in all honesty, she should have arrested you. Ladies, when a man does so much as follow you all the way out to your car, that is a BIG RED FLAG…stop him at the door, end the conversation and if he continues to stand in the door like he’s watching you, go back in the store! MB like you said in your favor, she was female and saw the whole thing go down, but had it been any other officer, you would not be sitting here blogging today. And, that was definitely Agg. Assault (felony) wrap that could ruin your life. Just an FYI, ladies…thank God things turned out alrigh for you, MB.

May 25, 2006 11:45 AM | Link to this

Good morning all, This is a topic I can relate to. Back when I was a whore monger bachelor, I often had to give women the brush off. After I used their bodies up and the thrill had dissipated, it was time for dismissal. However, some women were hard habits to break. In most cases they had done nothing wrong. They were great in bed and very obedient. I would just grow tired of their company. In retrospect, I should have communicated my disinterest and suggested that we respectfully go our separate ways. Unfortunately for them, I didn’t see the logic of releasing a trained freak from her hypnotic state. Instead, my brush off method was to stop calling (except for booty calls), make them leave immediately after sex (no time to shower, just gather your belongings and step), no dates, no nothing. The smart ones with self esteem would not stand for this disrespectful treatment and quickly leave me alone (which is what I wanted anyway). The silly ones would continue to subject themselves to this abuse until I took mercy on them and ended the mental domination.

By MB

May 25, 2006 11:46 AM | Link to this

Raqi No I never said I felt justified for hitting him I knew I was wrong. It was just one of those moment. Two wrongs dont make a right by any stetch of the imagination. It was just one of those relfex actions.

By mickiedee

May 25, 2006 11:51 AM | Link to this

Um… MB.. what boot camp flash back? Also do you carry a gun? You said you were fully prepared.

By MB

May 25, 2006 11:53 AM | Link to this

Sidelines Understood and I know I was lucky. No I dont make it a habit of hitting folks. Jazzyone I was always taught that you should never mess with people verbally or other wise because you never know if you are the straw thats going to break the camels back. I dont bother people and I try very hard to be nice to men even when I dont want to be bothered. However yesterday dude was my last straw. Its quite possible I could have been his but we dont know. Whatever the case if my actions did enforce what he called me then so be it maybe after what I did yesterday he will think twice before he calls another women that name. So yes I do have a grip but everyone including you has their breaking point.

May 25, 2006 11:57 AM | Link to this

Hello Everyone! said as I model my cute SUNS outfit with the matching stilettos to go with it Runnin sup….cracking up laughing

By Raqi

May 25, 2006 11:57 AM | Link to this

DKATL man, damn them eyes. The “look” in those eyes had be adding milk in my expresso. LOL Now I am raising a little cappuccino.

By LahLah

May 25, 2006 12:00 PM | Link to this

What’s up Jackie yea you have no control over the 6’3” and up dudes.

By storm

May 25, 2006 12:00 PM | Link to this

DuShawn Thanks for the honesty! Your dog days were brutal, huh? I gave fair warning in advance, myself. No one went in blind. Evenso, I had the problem with the guys with self esteem issues who couldn’t accept rejection.

May 25, 2006 12:00 PM | Link to this

*MB I do have a breaking point, but Im not punching some guy in the nose or whatever because Im tired. When I reach my breaking point, I meditate, write in my journal and might curse you out in two different languages, get on the treadmill and run to Texas We have diferrent ways of handling things and its all good but no I’m not striking anyone for calling me a name I could care less. We all are different you wrote it I gave my impression on it and we keeps it moving.

May 25, 2006 12:01 PM | Link to this

abc I feel on the music thing, handle that. Like LahLah is saying, a man that can sing, recite poetry, or play a musical instrument is halfway in there…lol. Yeah, I responding to the last, rude part of Mike’s comment but you are right bruh, I still should have ignored it.

May 25, 2006 12:01 PM | Link to this

DuShawn are you sure that the “back when” comment should have proceeded your “whore monger bachelor” statement? you sound pretty proud of yourself. mental domination, trained freak, hypnotic state?? doesn’t sound like you’ve grown up much to me….

May 25, 2006 12:06 PM | Link to this

@KYM “After I decided to not say My name is Lightbill.” That’s funny as hell. I have never heard a woman say that before.

By Thick

May 25, 2006 12:09 PM | Link to this

Some of you ladies have been called a biach too much.

By QC

May 25, 2006 12:10 PM | Link to this

Page what’s up girlie, your Suns are playing for blood girl!

By THE INFAMOUS DK

May 25, 2006 12:11 PM | Link to this

Raqi Its in the eyes everytime.. They can show you, contempt, disdain, love, pleasure, cooperation and hatred.. Every emotion is conveyed thru out eyes whether we know it or not.. Like in Poker, the eyes are always a tell.. Hence shade wearing.. Unfotunately I have mastered a look thru you look that shows no emotion what so ever..

By MB

May 25, 2006 12:12 PM | Link to this

Jazzyone Well unfortuantely my treadmill wasnt available lol. Whatever the case I am human and do stupid stuff at times. I am always prepared to deal with that ever comes next because I brought it on myself. As far as the breaking point issues we will have to agree to disagree I think everyone has one and based on what they are or have been dealing with in their lives depends on how quickly that point comes. When it does arrive everyone handles it differently.

May 25, 2006 12:16 PM | Link to this

@KinderbabeI’m neither proud nor ashamed of my behavior as a younger man. It was what it was. The events I described previously happened decades ago. I have evolved into a much more honorable man and a devoted husband and father.

May 25, 2006 12:17 PM | Link to this

no dude has ever called me a b***h…to my face…

May 25, 2006 12:21 PM | Link to this

@DuShawn Oh yes I have said that quite a few time to a few idiots who say stuff like Whatcho name is? One time with my sisters a guy pulled that mess, and I said Yes, My name is Water Bill, these are my sisters Cable and Lightbill, and her children Daycare and Rent, and my son Groceries.

By dustin

May 25, 2006 12:23 PM | Link to this

(1) I do not chase. (2) I do not wait in line. As a man, I find that these two things keep me from wasting a good amount of my time and energy.

By Airborne

May 25, 2006 12:23 PM | Link to this

The predicament of a man ditching a woman is a lot harder than vice-versa. When a man acts as though he is not interested (even if he really isn’t), it generally makes the woman think two things: 1) “Ah.. a REAL challenge.. I’ll get him one way or the other!” 2) “Something must be wrong with me. I’ll go regroup with the girls and try again later.” In short, women have a HARD time being told no, and that goes for the rest of their lives too. Most of we men, myself included, really don’t give a rat’s @ss about rejection.. we’ll just move on to the next one. However, women take it more personal, and they can’t get over being snubbed by a man. Personally, I like doing it.. it’s payback for the early years when I was less than appealing while in high school. Payback’s a b!tch.. lol.

By MB

May 25, 2006 12:24 PM | Link to this

Someone made a comment about mean muggin lol. I cant speak for other women however, I think when women have that “dont mess with me look” on their face its not always because they want men to leave them alone. I know when Im out I have about 2 million things going through my head what I need to do, is this on sale yada yada and I’m sure there are times I looked mean and didnt even know it. When in reality Im just thinking things through. However the minute someone says something to me no matter what kind of day Im having I still put forth and effort to be nice. So the look on someones face is not always a clear indication of it they want to be bothered or not.

May 25, 2006 12:25 PM | Link to this

Sup Jazzy! Hey Sidelines. Yeah, I have a very smart mouth…lol. MB I don’t think anyone is trying to come down on you but I’m going to go ahead and be a hypocrite, you were dead wrong for swinging on ol boy and were blessed by God, plain and simple. People have ended up missing and found six feet under for much less. Words only have the impact you allow them to have. Now I’m a hypocrite because I have swung on people who called me the “n-word” but I know better now and I’m not trying to do 3-5 years over someone else’s words. I’m off my podium now so back to our regularly scheduled programming. Sup Page, I’m extra salty with you today, dayum Suns!…lol

By C

May 25, 2006 12:27 PM | Link to this

Hello All, What up @ THE IMFAMOUS DK

May 25, 2006 12:30 PM | Link to this

Thick I have never had a man call me a biatch to my face. Maybe behind my back. MB agreed.

May 25, 2006 12:31 PM | Link to this

You can call me whatever you want, just put a Miss in front of it and spell it right and Im good. Who cares. Back int he day it would have stirred some hate in me. But at my age and the business Im in..I could care less…words don’t phaze me actions do.

By demigod_Love Machine

May 25, 2006 12:33 PM | Link to this

I christian hug all the ladies,lol now back to lurksville and working on my car

By LahLah

May 25, 2006 12:34 PM | Link to this

dustin in reference to your comment, I like a man who is willing to chase and wait. If he isn’t some desparate weirdo, it shows that he is patient and that he recognizes that I’m worthy. I can appreciate that. I don’t think I’m all that and a bag a chips but I do think that I am “top shelf.” I like to know that a man sees that as well and treats me as such. So chase me a little, wait your turn, be patient. It will sure get you a “jump in your arms, wrap my shapely legs around you,interlock my ankles, grab your head, squeal in your ear kind of hug.” Fo Sho

May 25, 2006 12:34 PM | Link to this

Hey Runnin…how are ya’ Boo??

By MusingLee aka "the Black Flash"

May 25, 2006 12:35 PM | Link to this

Airborne is sick wit it, I like that! Welcome…lol.

May 25, 2006 12:36 PM | Link to this

SMACK, SMACK That’s the sound of the Dallas Mavs being Smacked for punk’in out at the end of last nights game Page I’m coming for you next!!! LOL “Black Flash Awayyyyy” Zoooommmmmm

By QC

May 25, 2006 12:36 PM | Link to this

Page how much does it costs to ride on your personalized Suns Bus

May 25, 2006 12:37 PM | Link to this

@Airborne I agree with your statement. That is the only way I can explain women that I have treated horribly, yet they would continue to try to conquer the challenge.

By scaredofthegame

May 25, 2006 12:37 PM | Link to this

Ok…I am currently separated and TERRIFIED of getting back into the single thing after being married for 15 years (I am still hoping to work things out). I am TERRIFIED of approaching any woman. I guess it is the fear of rejection. I am not GQ, but I think I am above average…but I have never been the type to just go up to somebody and flirt. Now once I know you…I am fine and very outgoing. So how does one overcome that? Do women EVER approach a guy???

By Clawhammer

May 25, 2006 12:38 PM | Link to this

Awe, listen to all the pansy@ssed bleeding heart liberals all upset that some don’t want filth like panhandlers in their neck of the woods. Let’s also not forget that a lot of these alleged panhandlers actually do that for a FULL TIME JOB and drive cars and live in townhomes. It’s suckers like you bleeding hearts that are getting robbed and causing the rest of us who choose to get off our @sses every morning to have to deal with them. That’s why downtown ATL became a ghost town post-Olympics: aggressive panhandling. Personally, the first panhandler I see in my neighborhood might wind up on da hood. And for you communist liberal pigs who call us “tightwads”.. I’ll do whatever I damn well want to with MY MONEY. It’s none of your F’ing business.

By MB

May 25, 2006 12:38 PM | Link to this

runnin I never said I wasnt wrong, heck I admitted I was. I agree a lot of stuff I use to get away with when it comes to my temper I dont do anymore because its stupid. The Corp didnt help to improve the issue. However, compared to back in the day I have improved leaps and bounds in that area. I just a bad moment yesterday.

May 25, 2006 12:41 PM | Link to this

all this talk about ditching a female and all that nonsense dushawn put down…speaks a GREAT DEAL to maturity or lack thereof… not being man enough or decent enough or human enough to be honest with a woman about your intentions upfront when you KNOW that you’re not looking for something serious to develop…and then to resort to game playing and emotional and physical back and forth when you’ve hit it and are ready to quit it…is exactly the reason that dating in atlanta can be such a joke… oh…and the other joke…it is so obvious when a person has been living off their own brand of bs for so long that they believe their own press…and are doing themselves a great disservice…

May 25, 2006 12:43 PM | Link to this

WD One of Mike L’s folks escaped.

By LahLah

May 25, 2006 12:43 PM | Link to this

airborne I hate to say it but I had to realize, no matter how awsome I think I am. There are certain people who just aren’t attracted to me. It was hard for me to accept it. I just thought who wouldn’t like me? What’s wrong with me? What did I do? What did I say? Panicking and shyt! I got to admit, rejection is no fun especially when it doesn’t happen to you that often. One time I texted this guy I was seeing and asked him if he wanted to go out on one particular evening and he texted me back and said, “Sorry, Already have plans.” I wouldn’t return his calls for a week. I know, that’s a bit mental. all Gods chilen got issues

May 25, 2006 12:44 PM | Link to this

wrong blog, Claw…..

May 25, 2006 12:44 PM | Link to this

LOL Musing ok…come on then…lol QC sorry girl. There is no more room on the Suns bandwagon bus. All of the seats were reserved a couple of weeks ago when they beat the Lakers. Maybe next year…lmao cracking up laughing

By QC

May 25, 2006 12:46 PM | Link to this

Musing be sure to smack them azzes a few times for me too! hey DG so you’re working on your car hopefully you’ll be able to pop in and stay for a while later on. Musing stay away from the SUN with all that black on ;)

May 25, 2006 12:47 PM | Link to this

JustMe I’ll have a shot of that, on the rocks, hold the friday. MB Funny story. I won’t be up on Seabiscuit, he’s dead, but I’ll bet that it must’ve been one funny scene. Runnin Come on bruh. That Mike foolishness should’ve went on by you like a light wind in March, with no effect.

By demigod_Love Machine

May 25, 2006 12:48 PM | Link to this

scaredofthegame I think you need to relax and keep to yourself for a minute. Dont sweat the game, it’s still the same, yes or no. And it depend on what you are looking for, at this time do not waste your time getting back into a relationship, live a little and you will be back in the game in no time. now in the process of changing my serpentine belt and f%^k’n shyt up

May 25, 2006 12:50 PM | Link to this

Dayummm, I’d hate to be the correct blog for Claw’s post…Jeezzzz, LOL

By Peaches

May 25, 2006 12:50 PM | Link to this

Clawhammer Go somewhere to stick your head in a bucket of water and count to 100, don’t nobody wanna hear that shyt you talking man. You blog as though you have a lot of personal issues just like 2can said wrong blog brother GO SUNS Have a good weekend people <^^>

By MB

May 25, 2006 12:50 PM | Link to this

Scared Just my opinion but once you get over dealing with your divorce and you are ready to date. I think the best approach is an honest approach rather than flirting. The worst thing a woman can do is say no and if she does then move on. I think there are still some women who approach men first. I use to be one of them. Now I think the only way to gague a mans true interest level is to let him approach me first. Plus it tells me alot about him when he does. But rule of thumb if your not funny dont try to be when approaching a woman. Dont be anything but yourself and if she likes you or is interested she will let you know.

May 25, 2006 12:53 PM | Link to this

Fellas, have you ever witnessed a beautiful young lady walk by a group of guys and one of the men in the crowd gives her a very respectful greeting. She looks at him, rudely ignores him and continues walking. Then when the man calls her a b&%tch, she angrily responds. I have seen this often. When he called her “Ms. Lady” no response. When he called her a b&%tch instant response. I was always taught It’s not what they call you, it’s what you answer to.”

By QC

May 25, 2006 12:53 PM | Link to this

Aight Page i was on the bus a few weeks ago, i should’ve stayed on oh well….i know you are loving dem Suns DG don’t hurt yourself

By Aggressively witty

May 25, 2006 12:53 PM | Link to this

Just me, the wal mart dude is gonna be your husband some day. I admire dudes stick to-it-tiveness. Some day he is gonna own a his own chain

May 25, 2006 12:57 PM | Link to this

MB, do understand that if this brutha’ has any kind of scrupples, you may not have heard the last from him. Meaning, he can still issue a warrant for your arrest and prosecute! Don’t get it messed up, your not quite out of the woods quite yet…hopefully, for your sake, he doesn’t. Again, just an FYI, i’m gonna leave it alone… Now, since i’ve commented thus far, let me say on the subject at hand, I’m not the type of person to do the approaching, I’m usually approached…but, I’ll share this quick story with you all…This one particular night I was out with girlfriends blowing off some end of the week steam and decided since it was already established that dude was interested (eye contact, glances, smiles and the raising of the drinks cue), I decide well I’m feeling a bit flirty tonight and sent the brutha’ a drink. Now mind you, I hadn’t done this in oh…years! So, I send him a drink and does the obligatory come around to my side of the restaurant/sports bar, smile, introduce himself and says ‘Thank You’, indicates that he is flattered and haven’t ever had a woman do this to him before (1st clue), anyhoo, we chat for a bit, exchange numbers (in cell phones) and decided that we would go on with our evening with our respective parties of whom we were there with and talk soon! Well, before another hour passed, dude began to text me (2nd clue), and my initial thought was “oh! this could be fun”, so now we’re exchanging glances and texting one another…nothing sexual or anything, just “r u enjoying yourself, you look really cute” type stuff (enjoying the company we’re in and the band is now playing). Well, I’m on my way home and my cell phone rings, I’m thinking nothing unusual “How are you, have you gotten home safe?”, again, nothing usual. Well, the next day, dude calls, we speak briefly..said our goodnights, hang ups! (dang, sowwy y’all, had a quick mtg..you all are probably on a totally different subject by now, dang) anyway, long story short, this guy by day three called himself giving a time to call him (3rd clue), anyhoo, did not call mister man by his time and he left me a message stating that “if you just don’t want to be bothered, you could have just said so and his time was precious and if I wasn’t interested not to even bother to call him anymore. Needless to say, he never got another call from me again…but, he then put in a call to me, not to have it returned. Moral of the story is…never buy another drink for anyone else, not me anyway!

May 25, 2006 01:02 PM | Link to this

DuShawn glad to hear that you have turned your life around. try using language that reflects an evolution of consciousness instead of language that conveys you as a superior and mentally dominant. True enough the women you were involved with disrespected themselves by allowing themselves to be treated less than favorably by you BUT you also disrespected them by taking place in such behavior. part of being mature is not taking advantage of someone’s lack of respect for themselves just because you can. i hope that you realize that now that you’re in a different place…

By Jackie

May 25, 2006 01:03 PM | Link to this

I think Clawhammer Posted his message on the wrong blog board. Geesh! Wonder what thay topic is?????

By storm

May 25, 2006 01:03 PM | Link to this

My mama could not understand for the life of her why the construction workers called her names when they paid he a compliment and she failed to acknowleged it. I had to teach her that they really don’t want anything and to smile and say thank you. No one likes being ignored, DuShaun and you are right - it is what you respond to. A compliment is a compliment and I appreciate them regardless of where they come from. However, there is a way to approach a person. If the approach is lacking something, I still wouldn’t do as the person in your example did. My southern manners wouldn’t allow me to be rude.

May 25, 2006 01:04 PM | Link to this

Hey, did yall see that dude Clawhammer? WTF?! @Wise I think that’s evidence that we are tame on here, to say the least. dayummmm…

May 25, 2006 01:05 PM | Link to this

dushawn…no woman wants to be yelled at by a man in a crowd of other men… when this has happened to me…i ATTEMPT to politely acknowledge all individuals in the group because most often i am unsure which of the knuckleheads ws trying to get my attention…and then i keep it moving… you can’t get mad when your lame a ss approach doesn’t work…don’t lash out…learn from your experiences…take that back to drawing board and come back stronger next time…

By MB

May 25, 2006 01:05 PM | Link to this

Sideline Thanks I know what Im dealing with my moms hubby is a cop he’s probably already spoken to the female officer that talked to me because she gave me her card and his response when I told him was give me her number so I can call her. Im good but thanks. ;)

May 25, 2006 01:05 PM | Link to this

MB It’s cool, all luv. But I bet you were Rambo-ing dudes back in the day….lmao. Blue Kolla You right, I can admit when I’m wrong. The smart mouth piece got a little loose…lol. LahLah Your last post reminded me of this. A married guy was preaching to my boy at the gym one day about his own wife and and said this: “no matter how fine or perfect a woman is, there is a man out there who’s not gonna put up with her shyt.” LOL Jazzy I’m good, got the “itis” right now…lol. scaredofthegame You can’t live in fear bruh, life is too short. Just ease back into the dating scene, if it comes to that. You had the confidence to get married and stay married for 15 years, you can make it happen again!

By Thick

May 25, 2006 01:06 PM | Link to this

Kym “and I said Yes, My name is Water Bill, these are my sisters Cable and Lightbill, and her children Daycare and Rent, and my son Groceries.” I love it you are hillarious! ha ha ha @sJea & MB I agree with who ever said a man should never follow to your car, so the buck should’ve stoped there. And I ferverently try to avoid and end the bad approaches of rambling conversation. But in any situation or environment unless you have been called a biach you don’t know how you may feel. I tend to speak on what I know and I have been in MB’s situation before, I know that automatic jerk that you did not think you would ever do. I am not sheeding negative light “I’m just speaking on what I know”. Thanks for responding.

By QuedogTeaching

May 25, 2006 01:09 PM | Link to this

One more day of school, said while hoping after lunch my whole class has checked out. @MB I have had to scrub a dude the same way. It was during the time when freak-nic was in full swing. My cousin was in the military and brought a couple of soldiers with him to go out with us. I met a group of young ladies and was laying down game strong, I invited my cousin and the other soldiers over and after about 2 minutes, I heard F-you then B-iotch. Immedialty I picked him up and slammed him. Put the foot to his side and was immdialty grabbed by APD. It was so fast, I had no time to think. This was in the middle of Peidmont park in front of a lot of people. The cop after being told how things went down un-cuffed me and told me to have a good time. Needless to say becuse I was Chivalrous, me, my cousin and the one troop left straight got hooked up by the girls. Also since I have gotten older, signs have become much easier. Especcially since I hang out around the more mature crowd now. Most women over 27 don’t really play games. Actually they are very aggresive. I have had the smile across the room, but when we get face to face nothing happend thing. (Ladies can you tell me what that is) But usually I try the “can I come over sign language” thing before I try to approach a female, especially if they are in a group.

May 25, 2006 01:09 PM | Link to this

SMACK She won’t be able to get to the next Suns game QC just smacked Page on my way back now.

May 25, 2006 01:09 PM | Link to this

Who is the “clawhammer” guy…???? WTF?! Dang, off to court, back later…

By Cane

May 25, 2006 01:10 PM | Link to this

I am a guy who hates rejection. Call me sensitive or whatever, but I feel more at peace with myself by minding my own damn business no matter how fine a female is that I just happen to notice, rather than walking up for small talk and a 50% chance of rejection. Fonk that. I am a good man, and I consider myself attractive. My thought process is why complain about no good men, when you keep rejecting them. For the past couple of years I’ve been getting more by accident than on purpose and I am going to continue until one makes me fall in love hopefully; later than sooner.

By LahLah

May 25, 2006 01:11 PM | Link to this

Peaches hold your head in a bucket of water and count to 100 Funny, funny, funny….. Dushawn good point, some women can be rude when they ARE approached in a respectful manner. I tend to be just as respectful when I’m turning them down. You know like if he says something like, Ms. Lady you sure do look beautiful today, what’s your name? Can we have lunch sometime? I would turn him down by saying something on the lines of, * Thank you but I’m actually seeing someone right now, but you have a good day.* Most men will respect that. But don’t come up to me grabbing me by my dang arm talking about “Hey Lil Mama. What yo name is? Let me hola at ya fo a minute.” One time this dude approached me like that and I dissed him hard in front of his boys. His ego was crushed so this fool threw his beer at me which ended up hitting my friends instead. Since that incident about 12 years ago, I’ve learned to handle situations like that a little better.

By Cane

May 25, 2006 01:11 PM | Link to this

I am a guy who hates rejection. Call me sensitive or whatever, but I feel more at peace with myself by minding my own damn business no matter how fine a female is that I just happen to notice, rather than walking up for small talk and a 50% chance of rejection. Fonk that. I am a good man, and I consider myself attractive. My thought process is why complain about no good men, when you keep rejecting them. For the past couple of years I’ve been getting more by accident than on purpose and I am going to continue until one makes me fall in love hopefully; later than sooner.

By Thick

May 25, 2006 01:11 PM | Link to this

Hey Jazzyone the last post was meant for you and MB, not sJea. Sorry bout that sJea. Clearing up the biach understanding for the women.

May 25, 2006 01:12 PM | Link to this

MB I’d say that you `pro-bably don’t have anything to worry about. What dude is willing to go down to the police station, and swear out a warrant on a female that kicked his azz for calling her a beyotch? And then have to go to court and stand up in front of a judge and repeat the same story? And if he does, say it wasn’t you. Cop-chick ain’t gon’ tell.

By LahLah

May 25, 2006 01:12 PM | Link to this

runnin I guess you’re right.

By storm

May 25, 2006 01:13 PM | Link to this

I like somewhat aggressive, very decisive men. One night, I met 2 guys. One of them watched a game with me until halftime then announced he was going to go dance. I said Have fun. Was I supposed to follow him? I wondered. A few minutes later, this guy comes in, takes my hand and leads me to the dance floor. We dance awhile, he asks my name, buys me a drink, we dance some more, then he leaves for a bit. The other guy comes back and asks me to dance and we do. After awhile, he asks for my number, but insists we go into like a back alley to do this transaction. Why we gotta hide while you get my number? Who you here wit? I’m thinking. Or hope to be with? LOL! Anyway, he leaves, the second guy returns and we dance some more. When I announce that it’s late and I gotta go, he GIVES me his phone to put my number in myself and tells me he’s coming to take me to lunch the next day-and does. Lunch goes well, then dinner goes even better… Anyway, you get the picture. Epiloge: 1st guy calls a week later. I assume the other choices didn’t pan out so I’m the booby prize. Needless to say, he left a voicemessage in vain. LOL!

By MB

May 25, 2006 01:15 PM | Link to this

DuShaun I do have a questions about that. I have seen it so many times. Why is it that some men are brave when with a group of their boys? I mean if you are interested in a woman why not remove your self from your group and go over to her and talk to her? Why is it necessary to call her over and subject her to your friends who are probably only looking at her booty anyway lol? It is some type of game some men like to play “lets see if we can get her over here” of something? I dont get it. Wouldnt a true gentlemman who was truly interested take his business with a woman to the side?

May 25, 2006 01:15 PM | Link to this

Hey I was runnning back to the Atl. from Pheonix…I passed Clawhammer and he had a bum trying to crawl off the hood of his car…I slowed down and smacked his 82’ Rabbit to a halt. “Black Flash does another good deed today, Flash Awayyyy” Zooommmmmm

By lurker

May 25, 2006 01:18 PM | Link to this

I know that you “players” are speaking in retrospect on you disdain and hate for women but trust, not one thing slips by, that you did that will not come back on you. You might be “all grown-up” now but you’ll meet it again….let’s pray hard someone won’t trash you kids. Payback always comes but most of the time, never the way we imagine. Blame it on ignorance, youth or whatever, however amusing it was to use and trash womem, you were never with knowledge that you intentions were ill, you always knew there was but one outcome. Everybody is immature at one time in life but everybody didn’t trash people. Rhetorically speaking, why is it your “youth” dictated to you behave this way but didn’t to most others although we all traveled through those same years

By storm

May 25, 2006 01:21 PM | Link to this

LahLah You are so right! You do have to be careful what bag you come out of. You don’t know if a person missed a few doses of their medication or hasn’t had a fix lately! LOL

May 25, 2006 01:21 PM | Link to this

QC since the sun is quite hot today, I changed super suits…I’m wearing the Silver tights with the black Lighting Bolt down the front and back with my limited edition “Black Flash Puma Super Speedy Shoes.”

By Jackie

May 25, 2006 01:22 PM | Link to this

Dushawn, See, that’s why I just speak, wave, and smile. But sometimes, some dudes just have a tip on their shoulders and think every woman they approach will find them appealing and be interested. My older sister used to live in the “Dec” and I lived out in Douglasville. I knew everytime I went over there, I would have to dodge a slew of brothers who used to hang out at the BBall court by her apt, and instead of igging their cat calls & whistles, i would throw my hand up and be like ” Hey watch out there now!

By QC

May 25, 2006 01:24 PM | Link to this

No Musing don’t smack Page she’s family, besides she’s gotta represent! ooooooh Page gone get you Musing

May 25, 2006 01:24 PM | Link to this

Young Man Tip #4: In reference to Que’s 1:09 Post, It’s good to be the King, but playing Capt’n Save’em can get you fugged up as well. I like all of the positive advice that’s going out for Scared. Wading through these sharks, eels, and barricudas to catch your angelfish is an event that you don’t want to rush into.

By MB

May 25, 2006 01:27 PM | Link to this

runnin I’ll just say this I was blessed with an innocent face lol. Which is probably what kept me out of jail back in the day. I think I thought I was a super hero I never did anything to anyone that didnt mess with me first. I figured they started it I’ll me more then happy to finish it. On one of my last mission I saw the look on my moms face and realized I gotta stop because I dont like worrying her like that. Even though what I did was in her defense I think I scared her because maybe she didnt know I had it in me.

By Jackie

May 25, 2006 01:29 PM | Link to this

Cane, That refreshing to hear, a guy who admits his feelings. Don’t worry, just do what works for you. And trust……if you’re doing all the right things in life….you’ll find that special SO.

By FitChick

May 25, 2006 01:29 PM | Link to this

Afternoon People. I have to comment after MB’s post. I can totally understand where she is coming from. A lot of so-called men don’t know how to take rejection so they choose to try and belittle you to make themselves feel better. I’m sure all women have been approached by these “men” on several occasions. My beef is when they feel they have the right to touch you…I remember walking on campus on a hot azz day in Florida. I was dressed for the weather so I had on shorts. As I walked by this guy, he rubs his hand across my thigh. If looks could kill that dude would have been dead. Another occasion…I was Vision on my birthday a few years back. As I was walking, this grown azz man who had to be in his 30’s, slapped me on my butt and hard. I turned around and asked him why he did that. This fool played dumb and said he didn’t do it, because he is married and doesn’t do that kind of thing. Like MB, I was about to punch his azz. As I had my fist ready to swing, I came to the conclusion that he wasn’t worth it.

May 25, 2006 01:30 PM | Link to this

Thick Oh I know you were talking to me and its cool. Im in a different place in my life and calling me a name I could careless. I might respond with f* U but thats about it. I have so many other things to do and concentrate on other than a person calling me a name. Like I said spell it right and make sure you got the Miss in front and we good. SO move on I don’t need clarification on something so insignificant in my life. Not hatin on those that it botheres.

By QC

May 25, 2006 01:31 PM | Link to this

LOL @ Musing oh my, i bet you look soooo good in your new suit…turn around so i can see the back lol DG Do you have a new “summer suit”? taking my coworker to lunch for his b’day

By QC

May 25, 2006 01:32 PM | Link to this

Hey Jackie

May 25, 2006 01:33 PM | Link to this

Ladies In response to I’ve been getting more by accident than on purpose -Cane That seems to be true. I do better when I’m just kickin’ it versus when I’m, let’s say, being more aggressive. Any explanations on this matter?

By Thick

May 25, 2006 01:37 PM | Link to this

I like that 12:53 post DuShawn that is very true.

By QuedogTeaching

May 25, 2006 01:37 PM | Link to this

@B-Kolla, I wasn’t saving her, I was saving myself from being around a Punk, PY, M-fer. Who wasn’t a man but a Bi-otch himself. I was taught to never put myself out there like that. I stand strong in mine, that is why if I do get a brush off, I usually say nice meeting you have a nice one, and keep moving. Surprisingly sometimes they come back and just strike up a conversation. *@scared You will never get a woman unless you have self confidence.

May 25, 2006 01:38 PM | Link to this

MB To answer your 1:15 post, there is safety in numbers. Just like when an attractive female hangs around her girls all night because she doesn’t want to be bothered or approached, safety in numbers. Most men will be less inclined to approach you with a group of women around. Men are hunters and most hunt more successfully solo. So when they come at you in a group, it’s really just for show. Did someone bring up Freak Nic? Can all men have a pass on those few summers, things really got out of control back then…lol.

By FitChick

May 25, 2006 01:40 PM | Link to this

There have been other countless times when men have grabbed my arm or touched my tummy in the club if I had it out. What’s a woman to do? You walk away most times, but then it comes to a point where enough is enough. My poor hubby gets so agitated when other men look at me…well he did before I was pregnant since I was finer than I am now (sigh). I WILL get my six pack back!!

May 25, 2006 01:42 PM | Link to this

Storm/Ladies After getting the digitz, what is the official time lapse for the first call, 1,2,3 days, what?

May 25, 2006 01:50 PM | Link to this

So Lurker are you saying that, we’re pretty much doomed and destined to spend the rest of our lives in “relationship hell”, because we made a few mistakes in our youth when we were full of immaturity. @Que Dude may have all of those things, but he could’ve also been Jet-Li’s sparring partner. I’m just saying, if you don’t have a personal interest, be careful mixing it up with people. And like MB you could’ve landed in a lot of legal as well as physical trouble. Besides, that was a tip for the young dudes that’re reading this, old heads ain’t got time for that.

By Raqi

May 25, 2006 01:51 PM | Link to this

Since we are talking about recognizing the signals, I am sitting here laughing at myself thinking about when Mase and I first got together. As most of you have probably read me say before that we have known each other since high school and remained friends. That particular Saturday that we bumped into each other at Costco went a little like this: We spotted each other, we stopped to talk like any old friends would do, he asked how I was doing, I said that I was good but was glad that my father had taken my boys for a weekend fishing trip because I needed a break and the time to relax and take a breather because things were a little off-beat. After some idle chit-chat he offered to make me lunch and his place that we pretty close to where we were, if I had the time. I accepted. Sitting there on the couch watching the rain beat against his concrete patio and talking one thing led to another and here we are today. Now if you filter out all the prettiness and look at the signs and signals that were being handed out you will see this: Tired and aggravated as usual from all the hustle and bustle of raising 2 kids alone, I spot a single and fine close friend, he gives a ‘what up’ upward head nod and walks over, my body language responds to say that I am horny and frustrated as hell, he steps in close to gesture I can handle that for you, I respond with gentle touch on his fore arm that signals let’s do this, sitting on the couch his arm goes up on the back of the sofa behind me, I adjust my posture to turn slightly toward him. Now that is silent film version. LOL

May 25, 2006 01:53 PM | Link to this

Blue Kolla I know you just didn’t ask that question in your last post did you?…lol. Come on now, you know the deal. First: When you are just kicking it then you are more open and you end up being chosen and you’re not doing the choosing. When you are being chosen then everything is simple. When you are choosing, there is more pressure, sometimes you try to hard, etc. Second: Just like when you are single, happy, just chillin and not looking for a relationship, you give off a different vibe and things just happen, same thing when you are chillin and not looking to pick up a woman. When you are on the hunt, there is a different scent in the air and women pick up on this. Birds start flying out of trees and squirrels start scampering and all that. Watch National Geographic son, lion week!….LMAO.

By Thick

May 25, 2006 01:54 PM | Link to this

I must say that I do like a sure of yourself attitude/confidence than all other approaches. It appeals to me when men are sure of what they are looking for and what they want. Maybe that’s why initial body language does not catch my eye. When a guy comes up to me let’s me know what he wants whether it’s dinner, lunch, plain conversation, a walk in the park, sex, I can take that better than deception, beating around the bush, asking how’s the weather. Direct and clear works better for me and gives plenty of Yes means yes and No means no. Well said Jazzyone. I hear you FitChick! There is nothing wrong with disliking disrepect.

By QuedogTeaching

May 25, 2006 01:54 PM | Link to this

Great question Kolla! Also @all the ladies Why can a conversation be going so well, then your girl comes up and hates on the conversation and pulls you off. Why do women let that happen? I am not talking about when you give the “come get me he has me trapped sign.”

By storm

May 25, 2006 01:54 PM | Link to this

Blue I’m feeling you if I gave you my number. What’s with the game of an official waiting period? I hate dat shyt!

By Thick

May 25, 2006 01:56 PM | Link to this

Once I give out the digitz a call after 2 days is good, anything after a 3 days may not be so good. Lunch time.

May 25, 2006 02:00 PM | Link to this

@ G : 11:03 AM post - Maybe, i will .. depending on the situation, i just might!!! while i’ walk towards hime ( in my mind - i think i can, i think i can, i think i can )

By FyreStarrter™

May 25, 2006 02:02 PM | Link to this

Good Afternoon Everyone! Busy Morning-Whew! I am just going to chime in really quick & then I will read & catch up. Hey Gyrl Power what’s up ladies??? Hello runnin, Blue, abc, Demi, G, Agg Witty, DuShawn, Musing, & anyone else my tired brain forgot.. TO ALL NEW BLOGGERS in my chuuuch voice lol Hello & welcome, we sincerely hope you find our forum thought provoking & fun & we hope you will come back many many times!

By MB

May 25, 2006 02:02 PM | Link to this

runnin That makes sense the whole “men being hunters concept.” Back in the day when ATL Live was open one of the ladies I use to hang with was prone to get into trouble when she drank. I am not a drinker so I always felt compelled to look out for my girl when we were out. The club was closing and some how her drunk tail got away from me. because of her past behavior of getting in trouble with men I was a bit stressed when I could not see her and the club as practically empty. In those 20 minutes that I was looking for her 4 men came up to me. One in particular stuck in my mind because he said,”When you first walked in here I was gonna approach you but you walked in here like you owned the club, but now that you have that stressed out look on your face I felt more comfortable talking to you.” What the heck is that all about how is a lady supposed to walk into a place with her head down? No you walk in with confidence geez I would have never thought at that time a man would rather approach a woman who wasnt sure of herself vs. one who was.

May 25, 2006 02:04 PM | Link to this

Everything yall are saying about signs and waiting periods and signals. That is just messy as hell to me. Hence the reason I dont go to clubs. Nothing personal to all those who hit the “hot spots”. But I outgrew all scene long ago. As I tell my friends when they say lets go out. “Honey I have been clubbing since Sharon’s Showcase.” For me there is no waiting period or signs. I would assume that if we are all grown and sexy and if you want to talk to me you will call. If you dont then you dont. “Can’t miss what you never had.”

By Cane

May 25, 2006 02:04 PM | Link to this

MB, Thanks for giving men a pass during Freaknic. I am a quite and to myself guy, but during Freaknic, even I was like, SHAAAAWTAAAY……..

By C

May 25, 2006 02:05 PM | Link to this

@scaredofthegame I’ve rejected and been rejected. I feel ya on being scared of getting back in the single life. I was out of my wits, very nervous at first but now I can approach a guy and ask him out like a pro…

May 25, 2006 02:05 PM | Link to this

@Quedog…girls let that happen, not women. You give me you number or I give you mine I’m not expecting the game…Im not playing a game Im come atcha’. If I want you you will know it. Ain’t got time for the games. I’m at da club you reach out and touch the jewel then you got a different problem on ya’ hands

May 25, 2006 02:08 PM | Link to this

@Raqi Sounds like an unplanned opportunistic booty call (the best kind) to me. So what were you calling it? Runnin I know all of that Wild Kingdom/Call of the Wild type Zoology stuff. (I’m a big time watcher of Educational tv.) I want the answers from the feminine perspective though.

May 25, 2006 02:09 PM | Link to this

@kinderbabe The language I chose in my 11:45 post reflects the reality of that situation. At that point of my journey, I did mentally dominate most of the women I encountered (often times not purposely, they would just get infatuated with the lifestyle). I don’t think I disrespected them, I just provided an opportunity for them to disrespect themselves.

By MB

May 25, 2006 02:09 PM | Link to this

Thick I agree there is a fine line between self assured and cocky. But I do like a self assured man. Dont come at me saying stuff like “Maybe we could go out” or “Do you think I can get your number.” Just say it “I want to take you out”, “I would like your phone number” etc etc. All that bush beating and passive stuff is truly annoying.

By storm

May 25, 2006 02:13 PM | Link to this

Thick Gotta cosign 1:54 post. I prefer direct. How’s the weather? How do I know if you’re seriously not interested in meteorology? LOL

May 25, 2006 02:15 PM | Link to this

Que I’m feeling you on that one. I’m talking to this female and it’s going well. Friend-girl comes up hating. So I just look and then the female that I’m talking to starts apologizing for the friend. I’m now thinking to myself, “You might want to find a new friend.” I just don’t get it. But I forget who said it (excuse me), but the friend must’ve been mad that you weren’t talking to them and were actually full of jealousy and envy.

By FyreStarrter™

May 25, 2006 02:17 PM | Link to this

GYRL POWER Mail Call! Anyone else that wants to participate in the intervention PLEASE see me in my office, thank you that is all!

May 25, 2006 02:17 PM | Link to this

Quedog That is so high school-ish. Most Women don’t pull those types of stunts.

May 25, 2006 02:20 PM | Link to this

@ LahLah 12:43 PM post - Girl..tell me about it.. I’m on the same boat. Rejection is a killer, only happened once and i’m soo overprotective now, that its crazy. now, i always over analyze things so that i don’t look too available, etc etc.

By storm

May 25, 2006 02:21 PM | Link to this

Thick All that bush beating and passive stuff is truly annoying. Can the chuuuch say Yaaamen!!

May 25, 2006 02:21 PM | Link to this

DuShawn ok we agree to disagree on this one. i guess folks who leave their keys in the ignition or car unattended, when it’s stolen the thief is just providing an opportunity for them to show their carelessness. just b/c “the opportunity” is there doesn’t mean you have to take it. it’s a morale responsibility. i’m not going to help anybody make a fool of themselves, but that’s just me. but you’re past that as you stated earlier…so i’ll drop it.

May 25, 2006 02:23 PM | Link to this

Storm I’ll co-sign that 1:54 post Thick Now if you call a female for the first time during lunch, doesn’t that cause her to throw up the caution flag and a bunch of questions? - why didn’t he call me last night, from his house?

By storm

May 25, 2006 02:23 PM | Link to this

Fyre Glad you could join us! Sup!

By MB

May 25, 2006 02:23 PM | Link to this

Blue_Kolla I dont know women that do that. My girls respect eachother. If we see you talking to a man, unless we are picking up that he is working your nerves we leave you to your conversation. Heck we will even make room at the table for him to have a seat. The only way your getting interrupted is if someone is sick and we need to go or there is some drama and safety issues are invloved. Other then that if you are talking to a brotha you like we leave you alone. I think if you have a girlfriend that will do that to you, you need to call her on it and if it keeps up she might not be the one you want to hang out with because she may have a hidden agenda

May 25, 2006 02:24 PM | Link to this

@MB To address your question about why men act brave in groups. I think that is something youngsters do. A real man would not come at you like that. However, a potnah and I had a discussion about when you see a beautiful woman, and you live in a large city, one has to seize the moment immediately or take the risk of never seeing her again. My homeboy said, “even if he pulls up next a pretty woman at a traffic light, he would let down his window and ask her what type of gas she puts in her car” just say something….anything, before she gets away. That may explain some of the lame approaches some brothas use. They had no time to prepare. It’s showtime as soon as they see you.

By Cane

May 25, 2006 02:24 PM | Link to this

Oh, my bad that was runninatl. Give men a pass this weekend in Miami too, although they will lock you up there quick.

May 25, 2006 02:26 PM | Link to this

Sup FyreStarrter. Blue, you are killing me again with the phone call question…lol. I agree with Kym in a way, why make it messy. If you give me your number then I’m thinking it’s because you want me to call. So I’m gonna call, the next day if I make time. If I’m not interested then I’m not gonna ask for your number and if she’s not interested then she’s not gonna give it to me (at least not the real one), plain and simple. Why does there have to be a time period?

By Chink

May 25, 2006 02:27 PM | Link to this

Good Afternoon Everyone Just wanted to make a quick post about the topic Dushawn - sad sad sad what u used to do to them girls… Anyway how do I handle mixed signals… I don’t. You will not get much from me..what you give is what you get. If a guy is interested I know because I feel secure about it..unfortunately that is hard to get. Sometimes I have to tell the truth if I really like dude sometimes “no” can be turned into a “yes”…..lol Perfect way to approach me is to greet me “Hi How are you?” and compliment me ” you are beautiful” or ” you have nice eyes” nothing sexual and I am interested in getting to know you better.

May 25, 2006 02:27 PM | Link to this

^5 PD…and Blu its called C**k blockin’

By storm

May 25, 2006 02:29 PM | Link to this

MB Guys who lack confidence would not approach a woman unless she somehow appeared lacking in something herself, which is why when you weren’t your usual chilled self, they approached. That was a reflection on them, not you.

May 25, 2006 02:30 PM | Link to this

Ladies Men that touch you without your permission, their Moms didn’t smack them enough for touching items in the store either…Just call the “Instigators” (Caped Crusader, Mr. Pimptastic, or Black Flash) if that happens again. Runnin/Mr. Pimptastic give out our business cards again.

May 25, 2006 02:30 PM | Link to this

I know that everybody has done this at least once - Got the number and forgot about the person or calling. Then flipping through the phone 2 weeks later and dayummm… Do you chalk that up as a loss…? Or do you go ahead and call and play it by ear?

May 25, 2006 02:31 PM | Link to this

good advice to seize the moment…

May 25, 2006 02:35 PM | Link to this

@kinderbabe that’s a good analogy. I have another one that I picked up in this very forum. “whose to blame at the kill, the lion or the prey” . I appreciate and value your view point.

By MB

May 25, 2006 02:35 PM | Link to this

DuShawn Ok I can accept that but my next question is “Why do men feel they have to prepare?” Why do you feel you have to have a plan or a speech when dealing with women? The best “pick up line” in the world is hi how are you. I would rather get a common, direct yet positive approach from a man vs. some corny comment or a line that he has practiced on other women or worse yet in the mirror lol. Its not that complicated

By QC

May 25, 2006 02:35 PM | Link to this

Hey Missfyre Musing email me your business card so i can pass them out here….will the original Cape Crusader have business cards too?

May 25, 2006 02:37 PM | Link to this

@Runni re-read my post. I said I was not into playing any games. No time for all that silliness.

By Thick

May 25, 2006 02:38 PM | Link to this

Dayum Runnin, I love it, you crazy When you are on the hunt, there is a different scent in the air and women pick up on this. Birds start flying out of trees and squirrels start scampering and all that. Watch National Geographic son, lion week!….LMAO.

By Wise Diva

May 25, 2006 02:40 PM | Link to this

oh, so now it’s time for me to speak up on comments?? LOL when the post is off the wall, it sure does change the flow for a minute doesn’t it…sigh

By Raqi

May 25, 2006 02:40 PM | Link to this

Blue_Kolla I called it A Friend Helping Out A Friend. That’s my story and I am sticking to it. LOL (Translated to mean: Okay we have flirted back and forth for about a year now, it’s obvious that we are feeling each other the same, my fever is rising and I am about to burn up, can you maintain a sista for a while) HAHA It all turned out good, weeze married now.

By storm

May 25, 2006 02:41 PM | Link to this

Blue in response to your 2:30 question, is 2 weeks too long, read my 1:03 post. Specifically, the epiloge.

May 25, 2006 02:43 PM | Link to this

Blue Kolla My bad dawg, I digress and will let you get the female angle…lol. LOL @Jazzy and c**k blocking. Musing I got you bruh. Sup Chink, how are you baby girl? Cane Good luck on that! I’m asking for a pass, not giving them…lol. I remember Freak Nic oh too well, oh boy. Enjoy south beach, I’ll be here waiting to hear stories from my boyz.

May 25, 2006 02:46 PM | Link to this

Wuz up Fyre Just me, the wal mart dude is gonna be your husband some day. I admire dudes stick to-it-tiveness. Some day he is gonna own a his own chain LMAO @aggressive u r 2 silly!

May 25, 2006 02:46 PM | Link to this

MB I’m with you on your 2:23 post. Also, when I sit down to talk to your girl, don’t be “ear-hustlin’”. I hate that too. ear-hustlin’ = pretending not to be listening and nosey; oftentimes given away by near ear slightly tilted and resting at a level approximately 1 1/2 to 2 inches higher than the far ear

May 25, 2006 02:48 PM | Link to this

DuShawn I can see that…makes sense about the lion and prey analogy. however, i see us as a higher and more developed species with a moral code to follow. the lion does what he does, find prey. it’s a survival mechanism, the cycle of nature. i wouldn’t like to think as men or women as predators or other folks as prey. it just doesn’t rest well w/me. i understand that there are folks out there like that, don’t get me wrong. it’s just that i expect better from us and for us. we can’t keep leaning back on the excuse of a person “bringing it on themselves.” by the way, i too value and appreciate your view point. :)

May 25, 2006 02:50 PM | Link to this

Been lurking most of the day, so playing catch up but somebody tell me… What is the deal that when you’re with someone already, that’s when EVERYONE, their uncle and their daddy is all up in your face? Do guys want what they can’t have? Are we giving off pheromones? What is up?! I tell ya, I swear it’s the DEVIL, tryin’ to tempt a sistah to misbehave. lol

By FyreStarrter™

May 25, 2006 02:52 PM | Link to this

Funny I will be the first one to approach a man, I’m just not shy like that. But FYI, me approaching does not necessarily mean at the end of the conversation that you will get the digits lol. I approach you because I am intrigued by you & the aura you give off & I want to have a conversation with you to see if the outer facade matches the inner beauty. Men When you approach a woman who is “mean-mugging” as you say maybe the first thing (after of course you say something to try & get her to laugh or smile) is to ask her how her day went? The arms usually come down at this point because she feels that someone has taken a GENUINE interest in something about her besides how she looks. I have given more than a few of my younger male friends this tip & they all report back stating emphatically that is helps to break that ice barrier we women seem to have out up everytime. Blue_Kolla Believe it or not that time frame schitt was something MEN made up trying to be coy lol. For the most part if I give you my number & by the end of the next evening if you haven’t called, then I assume you are not GENUINELY interested in anything else OTHER than a booty call. I think many women will agree with me on this. If your are truly interested you will show it, if not stop wasting my time & keep it moving.

By Thick

May 25, 2006 02:53 PM | Link to this

@BlueKolla I was saying that I was going to lunch,but I take into consideration that when a persoan ask me for my telephone number they to have a life so I don’t feel like they have to call me the very next day. I give time to not become anxious as well as respecting the guy who may or may not call. It’s a Consideration Time Lapse so-to-speak.

May 25, 2006 02:55 PM | Link to this

@Runnin Plus, I’m just fact gathering from different sources. The answers that I have now might be from last months survey. You’ve got to keep your data fresh.

May 25, 2006 02:55 PM | Link to this

Kym My bad. I agree, save the games for Xbox. Hey, what the heck is Sharon’s Showcase?…lol. Thick I just keep it real. It was just real animal kingdom-like today…lol. Diva I want a smiley face because I was on my best behavior today, well except for one lashing…lol. Instigators hold it down. Blue Kolla, make sure you take notes when you get the answers to your questions…lol. I’m out, everyone have a safe and blessed evening.

By Wise Diva

May 25, 2006 02:58 PM | Link to this

oh, shout out to Mr. 2, Appreciate him helping me out on a topic today. The title is ALL him, can’t you tell?

THANKS 2!!

By JustMe

May 25, 2006 02:59 PM | Link to this

Justme is now serving tsmyfridaylongextendedholidayweekendmysonisleavingforthesummer javalatte Here’s one for all the newbies, here a few for the lurkers, and here’s a special hold the Friday for Blue……… MB Here’s a caffiene free javalatte for you gurl! Cause Momma said Knock him OUT! I hope y’all enjoy them. I’ll be adding a shot of Tequila to mine in just a little while :-) CHEERS!

May 25, 2006 02:59 PM | Link to this

@ Kim aka Southern Gyrl..you took me way back with that sharon showcase…in the 90’s atl was so much fun.

By Cane

May 25, 2006 03:02 PM | Link to this

Thanks for the shout runninATl. Ladies; What is your take on going to these type of events (Miami, etc..) for women. A lot of women get harassed for being half naked. Young dudes be like “Why wear that if you don’t want anyone to say anything to you”. As I began to go to more and more of these type of events with all the revelry, I realized that women like to get loose (behind close doors) just as much as men, but they still do not want to be disrespected. I have learned to talk the same to women dressed as Indie Arie as well as those dressed like Jackie-O. Some Hoodrats are used to disrespectful comments and respectful comments will get no response. However a lot of women who look like hoochies at these events really aren’t. Hope I made sense.

By Thick

May 25, 2006 03:05 PM | Link to this

@MsElusive you know what they say, “time you get a man, every other jack in the wood come hollin, talkin about what’s up can I call you sometime. Girl get good man and here come the Devil. You can take it though Elusive stay down for the fight!

By Dushawn

May 25, 2006 03:06 PM | Link to this

@MB I can’t speak for all men. Personally I never used pick up lines or needed to prepare. An introduction, hand shake, followed by a compliment and a drink normally got me in there. I did have a few pre-rehearsed compliments that I would use if they were appropriate. For instance, if she had pretty skin, I would comment on its beauty and ask what she used to makes it so smooth. Then drop the names of the latest skin care products that few men would know (but my sister put me up on or I read in essence at her crib). Often times they would blush and say “no its just regular soap and water”, but would be impressed by my knowledge and the conversation would ensue. I was blessed with a gift of gab that is hard to resist.

By JustMe

May 25, 2006 03:10 PM | Link to this

@Agg If he grow a few more inches he might stand a chance. If he doesn’t grow, he better catch me on a sunny day when I have absolutely positively not a dyum thang goin-on, then he’ll need to do something extra special to make me say maybe. Ok… here’s ther low-down on me with short men! I think they all want to ride the rides and see just how thrilling it really is. They have a napolean complex and they desire objects that should be for bigger men. Example: Short drivers in Hummers! WHY!?!?! It’s too big for you!

May 25, 2006 03:11 PM | Link to this

@Runnin and others who are not native to the Atlanta area Sharon’s Showcase was a club in the Decatur area back in the late 80’s early 1990’s. Sharon also had a teen club for those 14 and up. It was a nice place to hang with your friends, smile at the guys, and where your prep clothes, penny loafers, and neon socks and outfits.

By JustMe

May 25, 2006 03:12 PM | Link to this

@cane hopefully; later than sooner. Maybe the rejection is cause you aren’t ready for anything serious and it shown in your approach…….. maybe?

May 25, 2006 03:14 PM | Link to this

Thanks JustMe I needed that one. Might hit the Sidebar(actual place) in a few. @Runnin DAPPS Thick** You might be right about the coy thing. No one wants to look desperate. I’m usually calling around day 2 or so, depends on what I’m doing.

By Wise Diva

May 25, 2006 03:16 PM | Link to this

Goldstar for you running..LOL…I was kinda diggin that DJ bit..I may have to put you on retainer!

By lurker

May 25, 2006 03:17 PM | Link to this

@Blue_Kollar - I don’t think I insinuated anybody living in relationship hell eternally. I’m just stating that being doesn’t justify mistreating women or anybody for that reason and just know you meet it again but on the receiving end. Just don’t want you calling foul at that point. Look at DuShawn continued postings in justifying his actions…..To crap with the lion and prey analogy. Some poor diluted chicks actually thought they had a chance and he knew all along there wasnt. I’m just saying don’t be trying to justify your that crap. You crapped on women, you know you did and know you’re all grown up now and hey, all you can say is “I WAS YOUNG”…. And no, I’m not angry at all:)

May 25, 2006 03:19 PM | Link to this

@KinderbabeIn a perfect world, everyone’s action would be guided by a compass of morality. Unfortunately, in this world there are pimps and hoes. I have two young daughters and I’m concerned with their survival and well being in this world. Consequently, I am age appropriately teaching the predator/prey philosophy. Every man out there will not have their best interest at heart.

By Thick

May 25, 2006 03:21 PM | Link to this

Speaking on DuShawn thought about the lion prespective. I do consider men as lion on the hunt. No matter who they are, where they come from or who they hang with, their hunting. And am like a bird, say no thank you and flying away as fast as I can to not become prey today. Since men are hunters if they really want what they see they will keep hunting. It is not a nice, sweet analogy but it does carry a great deal of weight.

May 25, 2006 03:21 PM | Link to this

@Thick - ^5 someone knows what I’m talkin’ ‘bout. I hear ya girl. staying loose

By JustMe

May 25, 2006 03:21 PM | Link to this

@Blue Hope you enjoyed you Javalatte :-) Storm/Ladies After getting the digitz, what is the official time lapse for the first call, 1,2,3 days, what? What kind of game you got? I don’t reconize it? Dont’t call the same night….. kewl But if you stressing about the next day or two,, you may want to ask the fellas how long you should wait. If I give a guy my number, if I don’t hear from you in lets say 48 hours, I may have forgotten about you already. So I would hope he would not be mad when I ask him to refresh my memory. @ The Fellas n Here What’s up with the calling my written # from your cell while I’m still standing there talking to you? What is a guy gonna do if I have given him the wrong digitz? Ladies…. has this ever happened to y’all?

May 25, 2006 03:21 PM | Link to this

Thick Daaanggg, Girl your pheromones send the birds, and squirls skamperring..LOL…I need to catch a whif of that…hehehehehe Currently tighting super shoes in an attempt to find Thickness…LOL

By Chink

May 25, 2006 03:23 PM | Link to this

@ Runnin Heyyyyy working hard …..got school tonight …gotta get back to work :(

By MB

May 25, 2006 03:25 PM | Link to this

Cane Being a gen x’er, I came up in the Daisy Duke era. I have worn my share or questionable outfits and know many other women who have. I can honestly say I have never been approached wrong by men when I had them on. I think if you carry yourself like a lady and the clothes fit you properly even though they are sex a level headed man will see that you dont play that game. I think alot of young girls get in trouble because they wear those outfits and the first issue is the outfits dont fit. Then these young ladies get around a bunch of men and start droppin it like its hot. I know a few FreakNics past there were some females who were trapped on top of a car half dressed and there were at least 15-20 young men surrounding that car grabbing at them. From what I heard those same two young women were doing some overtly sex dance just before it happened. Not only that but as a young women you have to think. If you are at a FreakNic, Greek Picnic, Mytrle beach type of thing dont be stupid and walk though a gauntlet of men. Walk around them or wait til they pass. Learn from those young women in the past who walked in dressed can came out naked.

By Cee

May 25, 2006 03:25 PM | Link to this

Hey Ya’ll I know I’m late but on topic…I’m always polite but direct when I get approached. I always act flattered then I tell them I have a boyfriend. Now, 9 times out of 10 they come back with the “he ain’t gotta know” or “what’s wrong with us being friends”. What makes a guy think those lines will make me change my mind? Like I’m gonna say “well since you put it that way OK!” puhleeze If they don’t care about getting with a girl willing to cheat on her guy then they’re just looking for a temporary booty, ya know?

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 25, 2006 03:29 PM | Link to this

Man, my question is this…why folks playin all these games and such with each other?? Just get down to the nitty gritty and say my name is so and so are you down for some cut-up or what?? I got a boy that been that way since he came out the cradle and he either get’s a neck roll or he get’s the cut-up. In most cases its the later. I have learned to just keep things basic and if she is down, then she will get wit ya! Quit all the small talk about absolutely not a dayum thing and get down to bizness!

By Raqi

May 25, 2006 03:30 PM | Link to this

JustMe I think that’s the whole point, to make sure you gave them the correct number and if you didn’t they can confront you right then, face to face. Maybe?

By ME

May 25, 2006 03:32 PM | Link to this

JustMe co-signing that short man Nepoleon complex thing it sure seems that way. I am an amazon by most folks standards theres nothing I can do with a mini man but they sure try lol.

May 25, 2006 03:32 PM | Link to this

MsE It’s the same for dudes. If you’ve got a girl, then it’s no problem getting a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th… if that’s what you want. But break up with your girl and not have somebody on deck. Talk about a slump… That’s why a lot of dudes will start looking for a replacement long before the official breakup if they see that things will be ending. **slump = period of no-hitting Young Man Tip #5: slumps are mostly mental and good for maturation; aggressive attempts to end slumps usually end in higher levels of frustration; usually cured by “just kickin’ it”

By JustMe

May 25, 2006 03:36 PM | Link to this

@Blue That seems to be true. I do better when I’m just kickin’ it versus when I’m, let’s say, being more aggressive. Any explanations on this matter? Because you are relaxed, you aren’t pressed and focused on the putang the whole night. When women KNOW you want the booty, (speaking for myself), you have a snow balls chance in h3ll if it that obvious…. that is assuming we are on a casual FZ date. Now if you my man, you might get it where U least expect it……… ooooohhh nnnooo… tooo much javalatte………

May 25, 2006 03:36 PM | Link to this

@JustMe - Here’s the deal with the short men… they are trying to bulk up their gene pool. They say to themselves… “Self, this short thing didn’t go so well for me. Let me find a tall queen for my mate, so that my poor sons don’t suffer the same fate” Same for the scrawny men chasing the thick girls. hehe

May 25, 2006 03:37 PM | Link to this

*LL Thats just raggedy…who you think is going to deal with you saying that SHYT??…baybeh nah….how old are you again?? plain ole raggedy patnah….I thought you had more class than that???

By MB

May 25, 2006 03:40 PM | Link to this

LL thats true because there are a lot of women just looking for sex also. They dont need all the extra stuff and they feel if thats all you want from them thats cool. Even if thats not all they want if you are honest then they have all the facts to make a sound decision so if they deal with you and you dogging them out (not that its right) but they cant say they didnt know. For warned is for armed.

By Canes

May 25, 2006 03:41 PM | Link to this

@ Just ME I don’t think every women is looking for anything serious as well. I do have some issues that I know I need to work out before marriage that is my main reason for saying that.

By storm

May 25, 2006 03:44 PM | Link to this

Blue It made since when Tarzan grabbed the next vine before releasing one when he swong through the trees. Letting go of a relationship before grabbing another does not result in dying. It might hurt but it won’t kill you to just do you. Scared to be alone? I’m only saying it because what you said sound like dejavu.

By LahLah

May 25, 2006 03:44 PM | Link to this

Just Me - I’ve had guys call me from there cell while I’m still standing there. Often times they do it so that they can store it in there phone. If I give a guy my phone #, I expect a call the following afternoon. If a guy gives me his phone number (because sometimes if I’m not sure, I’ll give them the I’ll call you speach) I will call him between 24 and 72 hours.

May 25, 2006 03:46 PM | Link to this

JustMe That sounded like the right amount of Javalatte to me…How much was that so I can get my girl some?

By LahLah

May 25, 2006 03:46 PM | Link to this

LL Tasteless/Tacky/Disrespectful….. Cosign w/ Jazzy

By MB

May 25, 2006 03:47 PM | Link to this

Jazzy It might be raggedy but hes right. Think about it just like you have high self esteem there are alot of women with low self esteem and they are happy to even have a man come at them at all even if it is just for sex. Like wise there are alot of women were thats all they want also. There are plenty of women who think men are too much work. Cut Buddies exist for a reason. It may not be cool but it happens all the time

By storm

May 25, 2006 03:50 PM | Link to this

MB cosigning your 3:40 post.

May 25, 2006 03:51 PM | Link to this

Jazzy mail call

May 25, 2006 03:52 PM | Link to this

Ladies If I give you my number, I expect to be called within 48hrs of my digits touching your cell phone…After time I have more than likly forgotten who you are, where we met, and what your booty looked like….

By JustMe

May 25, 2006 03:52 PM | Link to this

^5@ME Lawd knows if I wear a short skirt……. thighs all smooth and sexy…….

May 25, 2006 03:53 PM | Link to this

dayum that…i wish a knucklehead would run up on me like that…eff around and get cut (for real) like that….

By QC

May 25, 2006 03:53 PM | Link to this

Demi where you at? you still working on your car?????????

May 25, 2006 03:54 PM | Link to this

Yeah that will work on the skeezea’s and if thats what he wants its all good. But for a woman with substance and has some class bout’ herself that dumb shyt ain’t going to work…

May 25, 2006 03:54 PM | Link to this

reminder….you ain’t gotta lie to kick it…

May 25, 2006 03:56 PM | Link to this

Some women don’t need the extra?? its called the basics. Some of us you won’t get far with those type of lines. I wish a man would come at me like that. and he can save that for the ‘Biatches’.

May 25, 2006 03:59 PM | Link to this

Storm That was just an FYI. Reread the “Young Man Tip”, that’s who usually has the problem, again not men and not ol headz. Young Man = male whose reached less than 50% of total maturation, usually between the ages of 13 - 28.

By MB

May 25, 2006 04:00 PM | Link to this

Jazzy co-signing 3:54 exactly, but it takes all kind doesnt it.

By Thick

May 25, 2006 04:01 PM | Link to this

@sJea I like that “you ain’t gotta lie to kick it” @LL thanks for keeping it real, honestly will truly get you farther than pimpin. A woman will tell you whether she cuts-up all the fellas or whether she just likes to have a mocha java at Javaology.

By JustMe

May 25, 2006 04:02 PM | Link to this

@MsE You made me have a vrebal outburst with that one ^5 to da front and da back. @musing I had 3 cups and the 3rd cup had a 2x shot of 1800 JC in it :-)

May 25, 2006 04:03 PM | Link to this

^5 Jazzy I’m kinda thinking….only those who are interested in same sex relationships would be blunt. So that explains a lot….you said a lot without really saying anything.

May 25, 2006 04:03 PM | Link to this

@lurker There is no need for me to justify my actions. I was a true playa. Furthermore, the majority of young ladies I dealt with were not Some poor diluted chicks, they were well educated, intelligent dime pieces (believe that). What I described in that previous post was the brutal end of relationships that I had no desire to continue. What preceded that was a courtship of respect, lavish restaurants, gifts, vacations, good loving and the works. Then I got tired of them. If you were to ask them, not one would say they regret meeting me and all would say they had fun in my presence. That’s why, in the end, they were willing to accept that mistreatment because they were blinded by how good it was in the beginning. Thus the term “hypnotic state”. I didn’t crapped on women I showed them a good time…until it was over.

By QC

May 25, 2006 04:08 PM | Link to this

Good Night everyone, have a safe evening

By LahLah

May 25, 2006 04:11 PM | Link to this

Yall I took a late lunch today and went to a Subway on Ponce right next to a Jiffy Lube spot. And all the Jiffy Lube oil changing guys were out there working and posted up waiting for customers. I had to walk pass them to go to the Subway. Mind you I’m working today. All I have on is a Limited black short sleeve wrap dress. It’s not to short (right above my knees) not to tight or anything. Oh and my favorite Nine West “srap around the ankle” stilletos. So I’m walking and they are cuttin a dayum fool. I mean just acting crazy. I didn’t have on anything provacative. I was just minding my dang on business. One of them followed me in the dang Subway and everything. Now that was just too much. Just irritated me. I was trying to be nice but men need to know there limits!

May 25, 2006 04:11 PM | Link to this

like i said…there are way too many tragic victims of wrongly believing their own press…

By Thick

May 25, 2006 04:13 PM | Link to this

The Can I Get Some Cut-Up? It’s all a part of dealing with the Hunter or per sa Man, the getatcha lines is all game but if you know how to carry yourself and respond. Men soon realize that you do have substance, are very strong, and do not fall for their foolish conversation now real dialogue can begin. But how’s this weather for you today, is like Chris Rock’s jokes “Would you like some d&k.” *These ain’t no saints we meetin in public, these are men with intentions. Whether Good or Bad

By LahLah

May 25, 2006 04:14 PM | Link to this

Dushawn they were willing to accept that mistreatment because they were blinded by how good it was in the beginning. Wow, been there before.

May 25, 2006 04:15 PM | Link to this

Thick you seriously need to get real! Are you a female? Seems like every time a dude says something that disrespects women in any way, shape or fashion, you are all up on it co-signin. I guess none of the things ever happened to you in your entire life…and well….I guess that makes you perfect, right?! ummm yeah…right…ok Co-signing w/Jazzy hey girl!

By MB

May 25, 2006 04:19 PM | Link to this

DuShawn I am going to tell you what I use to tell my male friends who treated women the way you use to. I am glad to see you are still standing. Most women need closure and for a man to just drop them with no explanation is how alot of brothas cars get destroyed and they suddenly acquire stalkers. No matter how much you claimed to have wined and dined them and showed them a good time you have no clue the depths thats a womens mind will travel to get you back if she feels used abused or scorned. So the fact that you still walking and have not been injured says to me you have been darn lucky. If you have daughters and God forbid someone treats them the way you have treated women in your past I hope you are ready to explain to your girls how and why they were treated that way. When you look into their hurt faces and see that even though you are trying to help that hurt still runs deep in them and your words cant fix it maybe then you will see the hurt that you probably caused others. I think that may have been what LL was talking about when he mentioned karma.

May 25, 2006 04:22 PM | Link to this

page hey girl…serve it cause some of these folks are crazeh….with the madness…

By storm

May 25, 2006 04:24 PM | Link to this

GOOD NIGHT GOOD PEOPLE!

May 25, 2006 04:26 PM | Link to this

@MB you bring up two interesting points. Don’t leave until you read my response. I’m typing now.

May 25, 2006 04:26 PM | Link to this

^5 @ MB’s 4:19 post. I think it’s hilarious how some dudes love to brag about being a playa, then make excuses, etc., then try to turn around and say well, I am a loving husband and devoted father and I will see to it that my daughters don’t go through that, yadda, yadda… LOL…how funny and ummm yeah hypocritical…don’t ‘cha think? Yeah…that is called Karma. Some dudes just don’t get it….how pathetic and sad

May 25, 2006 04:27 PM | Link to this

sJea are you talking about LahLah ‘cause I’m reading her 4:11 post like, “What?” LahLah So if those same dudes had said nothing, you’d be back in here talking about how they couldn’t recognize a nice looking woman if you slapped them in the face. Gitta grip. You’re the type of female that a dude would look at and say, “Se ain’t even worth the walkover, therefore, I’m just kickin’ it.”

May 25, 2006 04:27 PM | Link to this

MB first you saying a man should approach a woman with some class about himself. Then you spitting Dushawn shouldn’t have treated a woman the way he did in the past. Then you spitting L.L comments are on point. Then you turn right back around and get back on Dushawn back for acting like LL does in the present after he already said he doen’t roll lile that anymore…WTF???

May 25, 2006 04:27 PM | Link to this

there is no d ick anywhere in this world that would cause me to settle for being treated as less than…

By demigod_

May 25, 2006 04:28 PM | Link to this

Down with short men, they are unneeded and useless Why in the h@ll are the best rapper short and most millionires 5’4? Now aint that some s**t? now placing on Super UnderArmor and Red dog’s boot and elminate all man bellow 5’7 Yeeaaahh now get on knees shorty

By Thick

May 25, 2006 04:34 PM | Link to this

This may seem harsh, but I have been there and don’t that, it was heart breaking and it took me long time to get over it. But I realize before I roll one more time to please a man and get dogged out, I will stand up for myself and guard my own heart. So all the man bashing is going on, how I carry me, and take of me, is what is going to stand in the end. I can’t make a woman love herself she gotta know what she can tolerate and do her, it’s all about you. I love my sistahs but these stikin vultures will tear you to shreds when comes down to your emotional feelings. If you know you don’t want to be treated that way, tell a man, say your nice guy I’m sure but I am not interested in being another notch on your belt. Keep it Movin. And other than that, any man walking up to me talkin about can he get some Cut-Up? He is going to get the Healing Woman Response, honey I have been celibate for a while now so whoever gets this will definitely have to committ in matrimony. As I said on yesterday I am the Prize I just come with perks. You and your heart 1st, him and his games 2nd

May 25, 2006 04:34 PM | Link to this

I’m waving a goodbye for the day!! Have a great evening.

May 25, 2006 04:36 PM | Link to this

LOL Jazzy…don’t you just love how people change their positions on a daily basis! I can’t keep up half the time, because it’s so funny to see people change their perspectives on an hour-by-hour basis. I am sure you have noticed many of the chronic ones that do that…lmao wow…shaking my dang head

May 25, 2006 04:37 PM | Link to this

no, sweetie…not addressing lahlah at all… just a general statement for those who seem to always do everything right…to have always come out on top in every situation…who have claim to never have been taken advantage of, hurt or broken hearted…those whose sh it seemingly does not stink…at least not to them… lies and garbage, i tell ya’….lies and garbage…

May 25, 2006 04:38 PM | Link to this

@MB I’m a firm believer in Karma and the saying “Hell knows no fury like a woman scorned.” Ironically, the way those situations ended was actually easier on the female’s emotions. I think it would have hurt them more. If I told them “I don’t want to see you anymore, loose my number and address.” Instead I behaved in a manner that made them leave me by their own choice. I made it appear is if it was their decision. That way I was spared the wrath of their anger.

By JustMe

May 25, 2006 04:39 PM | Link to this

^5 MB Nuff sed!

By QC

May 25, 2006 04:40 PM | Link to this

DEMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII waving back at Gavi

By JustMe

May 25, 2006 04:41 PM | Link to this

@Demi Here’s a super hero sized Javalatte for you with an extra shot of elimiantdeyazzez….. get’em boo

By MB

May 25, 2006 04:42 PM | Link to this

Jazzy Yes I do believe that men should approach a woman in the right way and vice versae for women approaching men. I am not getting on DuShawns case I was simple trying to make him see LL’s perspective and some womens point of view and yes he is darn lucky to be alive based on what he said his past actions were. I did acknowledge that he said he USE to do that to women. I do agree with LL just like I know there are some women who would never take a man coming at them just asking for sex I know also there are plenty that will. I have seen it to know its true. Alot of people talk to just talk this is true. However in alot of cases good or bad the things that men say about women are that mans particular truth because he has lived it or seen it. The same applies for women we know what men have done to us or what we have sen them do. Thats is not to say that we are lumping them all together. Just because you wont accept certain things in your world doesnt mean others wont and it doesnt mean those things dont happen everyday. None of us are ammune to karma when we do dirt. If it doesnt hit us it will hit the ones we love

May 25, 2006 04:44 PM | Link to this

@Thick Are you serious? You might want to go see a therapist. Revisit yesterday for my textbook definition of “therapist”.

By MB

May 25, 2006 04:44 PM | Link to this

DuShawn gotcha understood, however I am still glad to see your here lol

By JustMe

May 25, 2006 04:44 PM | Link to this

Happy Holiday to one and all.

By demigod_bless one

May 25, 2006 04:46 PM | Link to this

night all now flying off to the gym and rid the world of short men

May 25, 2006 04:47 PM | Link to this

@Pag1908 Its not a matter of bragging. I’m just sharing past behavior and events. It’s not hypocritical to be a devoted father, loving husband and a former playa. Its an evolution. The more birthdays you have, the more you evolve as a person. Your titles and thought processes change as you mature.

May 25, 2006 04:47 PM | Link to this

is it safe to come out?

May 25, 2006 04:48 PM | Link to this

Later folks… Ladies have a great evening and “keep your head to the sky.” Fellas, be easy out there…It’s summer time and the block is hot. Night everyone.

By LahLah

May 25, 2006 04:50 PM | Link to this

Blue Don’t get it twisted! I wouldn’t have given a rats behind if they hadn’t said anything to me. I was just trying to get a dayum Tuna Samich!!! The point I was making is, IT’S ALL IN THE APPROACH!!!!! It’s irritating to be screamed and howled at. What does your opinion about me have to do with the price of rice in China. You seem to be a very rude, disrespectful, short-tempered, impatient, “wanna sound intellegent” person. Go some where else with that! I’m worth being approached in a tactful manner. I’m a respectful person and I expect to be treated in that same manner. I’m not one of those hoodrats that a man can just say anything to. You got to bring it! Anything less would be uncivilized.

By LahLah

May 25, 2006 04:52 PM | Link to this

Page/Gavi Gyrl Power!!!!! I’m ready for a Mojito!!!

By Thick

May 25, 2006 04:53 PM | Link to this

Sad to say it but sounds like to me that some females need to show yourselves some love and stop feeding into everything a man says to you. You give your power away. @Blue_Kolla I don’t need a therapist stepping away from negative acting dudes and giving myself time to heal has been the best thing I have ever done. I’m not angry anymore, men are not low down they just chosse low down ways of behaving. In order to change actions that are bad you have to change the you react!

By LahLah

May 25, 2006 04:56 PM | Link to this

I’m proud of you DuShawn Being saved from your playa days. Choosing to raise your children and be devoted to your spouse. Thumbs up.

May 25, 2006 04:56 PM | Link to this

2 it’s safe but you might want to head for the exit brothaman. yall be easy…

May 25, 2006 04:59 PM | Link to this

LahLah I’m feeling you on being approached correctly but how does how you were dressed change anything which is what the bulk of your post was about?