Misadventures in Atlanta

By Raqi

October 2, 2006 08:39 AM | Link to this

Morning.

Nothing is guaranteed but when you go into something looking for it to fail, you heighten the chances of it doing so. With an attitude like that you really don’t put much effort in trying to make it work.

By Two time loser on death row! (not Storm)

October 2, 2006 08:43 AM | Link to this

Good morning, my blog sistas and bruthas! Sup GP, Gavi, Lah, QC, Demi, Musing, BK, DCP’s Sauces and T an’nem! Everyone, have an awesome day! I’m just hollern, but before I go - Life is a gamble, however, you can improve your odds and make it more an investment by taking your time, recognizing where it is you fall short, doing some research and trusting your ‘gut’. I’ll try to get back to see what jumps off later… Oh, yeah and GO FALCONS! …although I did have to call a therapist behind that interception at the 2 yardline where the Cards ran it all the way back for a touchdown… I called a therapist immediately while at the game, but she didn’t answer (prolly at the game, too), so I had another beer instead.

By Prince Charming

October 2, 2006 08:56 AM | Link to this

That was a tacky toast made by that guy. Sounds like he had some bitterness and too much to drink. The relationship/marriage odds don’t scare me. It is what it is. You just have to take your chances in love and romance. Nothing is guaranteed.

I think sometimes marriages don’t work because people grow apart and no longer want the same things. Also women have more options now so they do not have to stay in bad relationships/marriages if they chose not to. People do not believe in “till death do us part” or “for better or worse” anymore, they just believe in “until the better gets too bad”

I think everyone believes that they will marry only once and at least that is their hope. We all go into a new relationship believing that this is the one that will last so we all definitely go into marriage the same way.

By Deep Dimples formerly aka Darkbuty

October 2, 2006 09:02 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Everyone

The odds doesn’t scare me…risks doesn’t scary me, but it makes me take extra precaution and do additional research. Once I am satisfied with the data collected…it lowers the risk factor;thusly, increasing my confidence.

I look at the failed marriages that I know and hear about and the question I ask myself oftentimes…is why did they get married in the first place? The writing appeared on the wall from the beginning….I know there are no guarantees in life and things just happen….but I view that as a weak excuse to break a vow that you made with God! So I’ll have to be very determined to make it work and pray that my partner feels the same way.

I hope for the best with failing not an option…

By NCgirlfromATL

October 2, 2006 09:08 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Bloggers!! I hope everyone had a nice weekend!

Personally, I think most people have the attitude that relationships are disposable. “If this one doesn’t work out, then there will be another one around the corner.” I wasn’t raised that way. In fact, my parents will be celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary this month. Being a divorce attorney, I have seen it all. And it does make me scared that I won’t ever get married. But, then again, I’d rather not get married to someone who considers this relationship to be the “starter” one. There is way more at stake than just your financial investment. If we spent more time getting to know each other…REALLY getting to know each other, then maybe we wouldn’t make so many bonehead mistakes once the relationship got serious.

One of my friends made a really good observation about relationships: She said if you are in a relationship where, everytime you are together you end up having sex, then perhaps your relationship is based on the wrong foundation. Don’t get me wrong, sex is very important. But, if that’s all you’ve got, then (to me) it’s not enough to make me jump the broom.

By Chink

October 2, 2006 09:09 AM | Link to this

Mornin

Last night my cousin called and said he had some bad news and it was concerning his marriage.

They had a beautiful marriage and they were young, about 22 and married for probably 2 - 3 yrs.

She is 7 months pregnant. I immediatelyt thought the baby wasn’t his …I called him no answer called my other cousin come to find out he has another baby on the way and she’s 5 mnths pregnant.

This guy used to give me advice on the one, I thought he was different. I shed some tears last night because in that second I lost all hope and I can only imagine the pain this is putting his wife through…been there done that but wasn’t married though……

Why is love so hard to do it should be the easiest thing in the world but we make it so difficult.

Sad Chink

By 4theLongHaul

October 2, 2006 09:12 AM | Link to this

Hey y’all. REAL TACKY TOAST! Goodness. I would’ve had to take him in the back alley and rough him up after that toast.

Me personally, I don’t think about odds at all. Just live life one day at a time and enjoy it. That’s just like driving everyday, looking at the statistics of being in an auto accident! Who wants to live life paranoid! I sure don’t.

I’ve been married once. Didn’t work out but I’m looking forward to the second and FINAL time!

BTW - I was bored late last night and watched the 1st hour of The Wedding Crashers. Hilarious!!!! I mean, as a bride and groom, how do you not know that you DON’T know the two guys who are making a toast at your wedding! Ha!

By 4theLongHaul

October 2, 2006 09:16 AM | Link to this

Dark but I view that as a weak excuse to break a vow that you made with God!

Oh, I wanted to comment on your statement. While I agree with you on this, I would add to MAKE SURE IT WAS GOD that put two together. In my case, God was no where to be found when I made those vows because He was like, “Naw shawty, I ain’t having nothing to do with this mess!” So oftentimes, people put stuff together and then have the nerve to ask Him AFTER the fact to bless it and it’s doomed from the start.

By QC

October 2, 2006 09:22 AM | Link to this

Morning

Have a great day bloggers!

Storm girl what am i going to do with you lol :)

I’m not afraid of the risks nor odds concerning married cause my God is in control….

By QC

October 2, 2006 09:23 AM | Link to this

Preach 4th Preach!!!

By abc

October 2, 2006 09:32 AM | Link to this

I’m twice divorced, my second marriage lasted over 20 years. People grow apart, that’s true: one or both will take the other for granted, become willful enough to disregard the other’s interest, the petty arguments that are never resolved stack up, interest in each other wanes. That’s life. The notion of marrying for love is a fairly recent development in America, only the last 70 or so years have been that way. With few exceptions, American ways of life aren’t conducive to romance being that sustainable, or maybe it’s just human nature. I really think that most who manage to stay marriage are just plain stubborn and tough in their determination not to divorce.

Just the same, no guts no glory, you have to play to win!

By Regina

October 2, 2006 09:35 AM | Link to this

Men are the ones who should be really afraid of marriage. They are the ones who lose more in a divorce and are pushed out of their children’s lives. Most women actually gain from a divorce, so marriage isn’t as scary a venture. Even if a man marries with a pre-nup, they can be overturned as the woman can state she was pressured because she knew the marriage wouldn’t take place if she didn’t sign. I think judges, divorce laws, child support laws, and child custody laws shouldn’t favor either gender. If one party can’t walk away with most of the assets and the children, it may make them think twice about getting married and if they do marry, working out trivial issues before thinking about divorce.

Many men are in a “marriage strike” anyway. What is their advantage of getting married? Most of the Atlanta women are so promiscuous, they make it hard for women who aren’t.

By Michelle

October 2, 2006 09:35 AM | Link to this

Marriage is not a “sacred institution” it’s a legal arrangement, and sooner or later, all legal arrangements come to an end. Just because two people are in a committed relationship doesn’t mean they can’t break up eventually.

By Thick

October 2, 2006 09:38 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Blogmates

Man, I’m ill that I missed Freaky Friday, but I’ll share mine at another time.

Go Falcons

First, forget the odds, you gotta want to invest the time and energy, build history together, good and bad history. It want be easy, nothing is, but if you stick with it, the relationship is bound to get better.

4th Wedding Crashers is so funny!

By gavi1126

October 2, 2006 09:44 AM | Link to this

Gud AM Sup Storm, GyrlPwr, Lah, Fyre, QC, Demi, 3rd, Blue.. Guys, Ladies, Laney!!!

Whatever that dude said was not good.. its always a must to have a positive attitude.. maybe he was just jealous!!

By Sexione

October 2, 2006 09:46 AM | Link to this

‘Morning All!!! GO FALCONS!!!

I’ve been with two in my lifetime (so far) that I thought I could see myself married to. Upon further investigation, I realized that it would have been a HUGE mistake, so I’m glad I dodged the “the big D”. Not worried, though, ‘cause I know what God has for me, is for me!!! And it will be a blessing in my life. Until then, I’m just chillin!!!

By Dj'ing Demi

October 2, 2006 09:52 AM | Link to this

Well Dayum Mas’, are you and Ms.Wise battling for the most depressing Monday topic of 2006?

Morning Storm’n’Darybuty

Well said Aun T 4th now playing some old skool MJ

Dancing…I wanna dance all niigghhttt…Dayum that!!!…Don’t stop getty-getty…don’t stop getty-getty…pop tha p Doo doo Brown…I wanna Rock…I wanna rock…Go-go…Go-go…Go-go…oh no oh no…Bytch better have my money…what…Bytch better have my money…oh no oh no…Yeaaahhaa Boyyyyie…for Sean J ‘n’ Blue…I like big BUTT and I ain’t gon lie…oh no he didn’t!!!…Baby Got Back…Dj cutting and mixing…I like the car…the car the goes BOOOM…What the!!??!??!!…Come on Ba-by shake dem Daisy…Look at the girls with the Daisy Duke on..HUH?..Come on Ba-by shake dem Daisy…nonononononoooo…Let me ride that Donkey-donkay…crowd is now sweating and out-of-control*…

now doing the Kris-Cross and Jumping off stage

By NoNonsense

October 2, 2006 09:55 AM | Link to this

No expert just a little experience.

When the two individuals want to be together they will be. I am witnessing a relationship that is making it pass infidelity, I know of a relationship that made it pass abuse and I have seen relationships dissolved for the same reasons. When both parties in the relationship are willing to make the necessary behavior changes then there is a better chance of a long term relationship. You have to come to terms with what is actually going on, decide if it’s worth getting through and act accordingly. I don’t feel anyone should be deterred from trying to have a relationship from what they see others do. There are a lot of things that we do succeed at in life beyond the fact that others we know that tried it failed.

A one sided relationship will always be doomed and that’s the factor in a very large percent of failed relationships. From my experience, both people have to want it before it can work.

Abc Instead of stubborn and determined not to divorce why couldn’t it be stubborn and determined to stay together. Every couple that is together is not always together. I feel that there is a difference. The will to not divorce can put you in an unhappy strenuous predicament. But the determination to stay together is a will to do whatever it takes to make it a happy relationship.

By abc

October 2, 2006 09:56 AM | Link to this

@Michelle, glib much?

By Deep Dimples formerly aka Darkbuty

October 2, 2006 09:58 AM | Link to this

abc I really think that most who manage to stay marriage are just plain stubborn and tough in their determination not to divorce.

That’s some truth right there!!

By ssj

October 2, 2006 09:58 AM | Link to this

The Word of God says, that a house divided cannot stand. Any marraige with Jesus as the foundation has a 100% chance of succeeding. :)

By MusingLee

October 2, 2006 09:59 AM | Link to this

Howdy All,

Said while cruising in chuck wagon style

I think that when you approach a situation with negative thoughts, you’ll get negative results…That doesn’t mean that you get positive results everytime with positive thoughts, but the odds are better…LOL…I plan on rid’in till I die, ME and SO hope to tie the knot later next year…So I’m going into this thing very optimistic, but without the rose colored glasses…LOL

By ssj

October 2, 2006 09:59 AM | Link to this

The Word of God says, that a house divided cannot stand. Any marraige with Jesus as the foundation has a 100% chance of succeeding. :)

By 4theLongHaul

October 2, 2006 10:00 AM | Link to this

Demi You get the Monday Murder the Lyrics awards! Cause you shole know you jacked some words up boy! hahahahahaha!!!!

By QC

October 2, 2006 10:01 AM | Link to this

Demi you’re in a good mooday today..

don’t stop getty getty it, lol

Gyrl Power have a fantastic Monday

don’t stop getty getty it

By reality check

October 2, 2006 10:01 AM | Link to this

It isn’t just the odds of divorce that should be frightening. The emotional and financial devastation that occurs when a divorce occurs is one of the worst experiences life has to offer.

I facilitate a divorce support group at my church. It is very well attended by intelligent, successful, nice people. Without exception they are traumatized in a way that will take them half a decade to recover. That is the minimum time required in my experience.

Some people literally do not survive the process.

I won’t remarry. Being single has many advantages, and being married has too many risks to make it worthwhile for me again.

By Two time loser on death row!

October 2, 2006 10:03 AM | Link to this

Dayum Demi! You came in here blazn dis mornin, didn’tcha? I want summa what you havin. I’m hurtn. Up until 3am… for 3 days… I’se tired! Help! And I didn’t even get any… how sad… Needless to say, I have a HOT date with the Sandman dis evenin! Oh, it’s gone be ON!

By MusingLee

October 2, 2006 10:03 AM | Link to this

LOL..LMAOooo…demi Man you have got to be the first person to ever “DJ scratch” over the blog…LOL…Dayummmm..hahahahahahaha

By Deep Dimples formerly aka Darkbuty

October 2, 2006 10:03 AM | Link to this

4th You’re absolutely right!

By Blue_Kolla

October 2, 2006 10:06 AM | Link to this

What’s Up Ery’body?!

Against all odds… I’m a gambla. No risks, no gains.

Statement of Recovery: It was wayyy to hot to be out drinking beer and tailgating yesterday. I need some water.

Regina I like the way you laid that out. Sad reality, but true.

By Dj'ing Demi

October 2, 2006 10:08 AM | Link to this

heyyyy Gavi’n’QC’n’NC

Regina It’s not that bad, but it is what it is…Marriage takes work…How much work are you willing to put in, determines your return/outcome…

By NCgirlfromATL

October 2, 2006 10:09 AM | Link to this

Most women actually gain from a divorce, so marriage isn’t as scary a venture. Regina let me assure you that women do not “gain” in divorces. Although I do not practice in GA, I imagine that GA’s laws are like most of the other 50 states in that gender bias has been eliminated in family law cases. The reason it still appears the men do not get a fair shake in custody is b/c a lot of the time you’re dealing w/ a stay-at-home mom, and a working dad situation. So, the court is looking at who the primary caregiver is in that situation, not the gender. If dad didn’t work and mom did, the situation is usually reversed.

Even if a man marries with a pre-nup, they can be overturned as the woman can state she was pressured because she knew the marriage wouldn’t take place if she didn’t sign. Actually, you are wrong. In most states, the caselaw makes this reason the most difficult way to overturn a prenup. If this was a reasonable basis for overturning a contract (which is what a prenup is), then no contract would ever stand.

I think judges, divorce laws, child support laws, and child custody laws shouldn’t favor either gender. If one party can’t walk away with most of the assets and the children, it may make them think twice about getting married and if they do marry, working out trivial issues before thinking about divorce. Actually, at least in NC, the law does exactly this. I think a lot people have a very *Hollywood view of divorce. Trust me, it ain’t like what you see on television. For the most part, no one is “taking him to the cleaners.” In fact, in my local domestic Bar, 90-95% of all domestic cases actually settle out of court.

By SeanJohnson

October 2, 2006 10:10 AM | Link to this

Morning Blog…the toast was inappropiate..maybe he had one too many before the toast.. on topic: Half of my child hood friends married early and divorced early…and being that i witnessed it first hand…I am not real optimistic about getting married…I had two different discussions this weekend about marriage..my barber and some older cats after the game…and both discussions were similiar to Regina’s and Michelle’s comments. Marriage doenst benefit men these days…the older cats were like the four things most important…women stop doing…which is cooking, cleaning,keeping their self up and having sx. I know females may think that thats sexist…but if a woman doesnt do those things..what does a man need her for?

By Sweet Tea

October 2, 2006 10:10 AM | Link to this

Morning, Storm you’re shout outs always get me going; up for 3 days and you did’nt get none!! Demi come up in here as the Blog Master DJ DemiD you rapping like you’ve had some on that stuff in our evidence room (it’s been back there for a while) i think you found it

Hey Musing what’s up Baby?? Have a nice day bloggerees!!!

By Two time loser on deathrow! (not Storm)

October 2, 2006 10:13 AM | Link to this

Are you guys having a big wedding, Musing? Honeymoon?

By abc

October 2, 2006 10:13 AM | Link to this

@NoNonsense, I agree there’s a difference between being stubbornly determined to stay together and determined not to divorce, but the former is lost once grown apart with interest in each other waned, so I stick with what I said.

@Reality Check, regarding not ‘surviving the process’… what’s that all about? In all things, one picks themself up, brushes off their trousers and carries on. Divorce is no different.

By MusingLee

October 2, 2006 10:14 AM | Link to this

NoNone I’m feeling that….It’s all in how you approach the bad times! Some days you would think my grandparents hate each other…But, at the end of the day…They sit down and break bread together…LOL…Those two ain’t going no where!

By danielle

October 2, 2006 10:15 AM | Link to this

I wholeheartedly believe in the institution of marriage. It is an arrangement put in place by God and the only way it will work is if we follow the guidelines outlined in the bible for a successful marriage.

A marriage can last if God remains in it, both are committed to stick in good and bad times, there is love, honesty, respect, trust, loyalty and open communication. It takes work (a lot of work) to keep it exciting, fresh and new, but the rewards are priceless.

It takes two to marry and one to divorce. Find the right one with whom you can depend on to have the same level of dedication and commitment to contribute towards a happy and successful marriage.

By Blue_Kolla

October 2, 2006 10:16 AM | Link to this

It is very well attended by intelligent, successful, nice people. Without exception they are traumatized in a way that will take them half a decade to recover.

This is worth rereading a few times.

Two Time Wrong handle slim, you threw down a few bad bets. But you gotta play to win, so keep ya chin up…

By abc

October 2, 2006 10:17 AM | Link to this

They settle out of court because the man tries to avoid giving a lawyer $20K minimum of his already depleting resources by just agreeing to what the ex-wife wants. I’m no lawyer, but I’m recently divorced, and no matter your view of the NC Bar, that just isn’t the way it plays out.

By Dj'ing Demi

October 2, 2006 10:23 AM | Link to this

4th I am guitly…*sad part, I have the lyrics right in front of me. I just said to the A-T-L wit it!

QC went on two positive date this weekend…none stop fun

MusingLee I hope you can hit the blog up with some 70’s mix

I have a HOT date with the Sandman dis evenin! Oh, it’s gone be ON

And Sexy Storm BE CAREFUL!!! The Sandman from Marvel comic could increase and decrease his SIZE at will…you be laying there thinking: He wasn’t that BIG a minute ago!! Now looking down WTF!!!???

By Hot Sauce

October 2, 2006 10:23 AM | Link to this

Hello everyone, oh that toast was way off track somebody should’ve hit him upside his head with a brick! Hey Storm you are too funny - Hello Musing let us know where you’re registered so we can get you a “real nice gift” you know you’ve gotta come see us before you get “hitched” aight!

By Two time loser on deathrow! (not Storm)

October 2, 2006 10:26 AM | Link to this

Just owning my shyt, BK. Not really a loser, like you said, now I’m playing to win.

By MusingLee

October 2, 2006 10:26 AM | Link to this

TwoTime We don’t want a huge one…Well I don’t…She says she doesn’t, but “don’t beleive the hype….Yeeaaa Boyyyyy” (said in my Flava Flav voice)….We are considering a small ceremony and a larger reception…I’ll just say we don’t know yet!

By Deep Dimples formerly aka Darkbuty

October 2, 2006 10:27 AM | Link to this

SeanJ women stop doing…which is cooking, cleaning,keeping their self up and having sx. I know females may think that thats sexist…but if a woman doesnt do those things..what does a man need her for?

If you married solely for those reasons…then you have a point.

But what about raising kids under the same loving household? Or the fact that even if it’s not a homemade meal she’s making sure that there’s food on the table. What about for companionship? What about building a future and foundation together? Do any of these items factor in???

By Jake

October 2, 2006 10:28 AM | Link to this

@Regina With few exceptions, American ways of life aren’t conducive to romance being that sustainable, or maybe it’s just human nature.

I must say that these are words that I never thought I would hear from a lady, but its the truth. The expectations that are placed on relationships are in many cases ridiculous. No matter how beautiful someone is, there will come a moment in which that person no longer excites you in the way they once did. Familiarity breeds Contempt, at some point the cute midday call to see what your doing becomes, WHAT DO YOU WANT? I’M FUGGING TRY TO WORK HERE. It no ones fault, its just Human Nature.

In order to maintain and sustain relationship, married or otherwise; One must occassionally step back and really discuss with Self what that person means to you and where they fit into your life. (THIS IS TO BE DONE PRE-ARGUMENT OR MAJOR DISAGREEMENT)

As a bachelor in this city, 30yrs old, no kids, homeowner. I feel like a lotto ticket when I talk to some women. There are ladies looking to score and you gotta be careful who and where you lay. I’m looking for a helpmate not someone to snatch crumbs from my table. The odds can be beat, but when shooting dice be prepared to crap out.

By 4theLongHaul

October 2, 2006 10:29 AM | Link to this

Demi Just messing with you dog! Your mix was still hot though!

By MusingLee

October 2, 2006 10:32 AM | Link to this

Hey QC Now waving vigourously

What’s Pop’in to the Sauces & T

Pulling out old school record player and throwing on the P-funk….Singing

“We want the FUnk…Gotta have that FUnk…”

Danngggg, is that demi dressed up like Star Child????

By Dj'ing Demi

October 2, 2006 10:33 AM | Link to this

MusingLee what time next year?

By Storm

October 2, 2006 10:36 AM | Link to this

No, Sweet Tea, didn’t get none. I’m on a different road at the moment. I’m helping a friend on his spiritual journey and I’m hoping some of it rubs off on me. However, my job basically is c##blocking, but it’s hard to be supportive when you really wanna get down wit the person you supporting. LMAO! *can’t believe I’m saying this next thing… I’m celebate. did i say that?? must be the lack of sleep making me INSANE! I’m learning and growing as I go.

By Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a closet FULL of T-shirts)

October 2, 2006 10:40 AM | Link to this

I was divorced after a long marriage, and most of the people in my circles are in the same boat. The odds for second marriages are even slimmer, some 65%+ of second marriages end in divorce and over 80% of third marriages, if I remember the statistics. After having said that, it is a shame that some singles and divorcees go into a relationship with a ’doomed from the beginning’ attitude. Marriage has many highs and lows. The highs of having children you love more than anything…the lows of becoming total strangers to each other.

I think people that go through divorce are really hesitant about putting their hand in that flame again. Some people get through divorce relatively unscathed, but most of us remember vividly the many days of feeling like our guts were ripped out…and don’t want another ‘t-shirt’.

I can’t say that I will remarry although I have been with a few I thought I wanted to. Why not? Fear…some. Hope…some. Caution…a lot. In Atlanta, sex is easy, friendship much harder, finding your best friend, only lover you need or want, and soul mate, very very hard.

By Jake

October 2, 2006 10:41 AM | Link to this

SeanJ women stop doing…which is cooking, cleaning,keeping their self up and having sx. I know females may think that thats sexist…but if a woman doesnt do those things..what does a man need her for?

Where do I put my signature?

By Storm

October 2, 2006 10:44 AM | Link to this

Those small ceremonies always bloom into bigger ones, Musing!hahahahaha! Have you decided on a location for the wedding and reception? This guy I met at the game yesterday said his girlfriend’s brother got married in Nappa Valley, at a cliff! now wondering if there might have been some symbolism in that…

By Hot Sauce

October 2, 2006 10:47 AM | Link to this

Demi dressed up like Star Child lol :)

By Hot Sauce

October 2, 2006 10:48 AM | Link to this

Demi dressed up like Star Child lol :)

By Hot Sauce

October 2, 2006 10:48 AM | Link to this

Demi dressed up like Star Child lol :)

By MusingLee

October 2, 2006 10:48 AM | Link to this

demi It will probably be sometime in the late summer or early fall.

By Chink

October 2, 2006 10:49 AM | Link to this

LOL @ Jake

You are right about that “Familiarity breeds Contempt” ..So sad but true.

Is there unconditional love anymore?

Everything has conditions now, everyone has something that is marketable. When do we start being real and not a commodity?

What’s up with this !

By Raqi

October 2, 2006 10:50 AM | Link to this

A lot of relationships go awry because they were based on an impulse buy. Before entering into a committed relationship you should count up the cost. Be friends first, partners second and lovers last. Consider those not so loving days. Make a conscious decision of whether this is the right situation or person for you. Consider those days that you will have to go to your separate corners and start anew. Don’t be in love with the fact of being in a relationship, but rather be in love with the individual with all of their flaws. There is a way to beat the odds.

I get a good laugh everytime I read this husband/wife marriage/divorce advantage/disadvantage crap. In most cases it’s usually the man that initiates and proposes but it’s all to his disadvantage??!! What?

By Storm

October 2, 2006 10:52 AM | Link to this

Those small ceremonies always bloom into bigger ones, Musing!hahahahaha! Have you decided on a location for the wedding and reception? This guy I met at the game yesterday said his girlfriend’s brother got married in Nappa Valley, at a cliff! now wondering if there might have been some symbolism in that…

By Jewel

October 2, 2006 10:52 AM | Link to this

Good morning Everyone!

My perspective may be different than most. I am aware of the statistics, but what I fear more than failing is never trying. Each day, I choose to live my life with no regrets. If I, or my partner has the attitude of failure that is exactly what will happen. It is unfortunate that most people do not commit for the long haul, but rather as Prince put it “until the better gets too bad.” What were they committed to in the first place? I think people lose at marriage because they had the wrong expectations, priorities and motives. If both of you are committed to the commitment and decide that divorce is not an option, you can make it. That may be idealistic thinking to some, but I will believe this until the day I die.

Ladies, please keep the men in check while I am traveling this week. I’ll be the lady at the airport trying to board the plane with 3.5 oz of lotion in a Publix plastic bag! LOL!

Have a Powerful, Productive, Prosperous and Positive Day!

By MusingLee

October 2, 2006 10:54 AM | Link to this

Storm No, haven’t decided on the location yet…Hellz, If left up to me I’d go down to the courthouse, sit my’black’azz in line and pick up the papers…LOL…and we’ve talk about doing that, then just having a reception party…But, I think she wants a scenic wedding…LOL

Wondering if Delta will let me have the wedding on the wing of an inflight plane…Get married and jump my’azz off

By KC

October 2, 2006 10:56 AM | Link to this

ABC I agree w/ you 100%. People do grown apart and change over time. I have been married 14 years (2nd marriage) and about to leave my husband. I don’t know him anymore. I don’t know if we have both changed or what but we just don’t connect. I love him but love does not bring happiness I will never marry again!!!!!

By reality check

October 2, 2006 10:59 AM | Link to this

abc, to answer your question, last week the ex husband of one of the members of the group I facilitate was so despondent he hung himself.

One of the things I have to be most vigilant about is looking for signs of someone who is suicidal. It happens more frequently than you might think.

You might think you can just get up, dust yourself off and move on, but I can tell you there are situations where decent people lose all hope and survival is not assured.

By Mac

October 2, 2006 10:59 AM | Link to this

Well, I hear all the same crap I’ve been hearing for years. A srtong relationship starts with compatibility.

If one can get enough wisdom to understand that all of the insignficant stuff that we hold with high regard changes, divorce rates will drop.

By Hot Sauce

October 2, 2006 11:01 AM | Link to this

Bless your heart Storm it’ll get better for you, my girlfriend has been celibate for the past 3 yrs she said she get hot flashes along with flashbacks from the last man she was with and is tempted to call him she always blocks her number & hang up after he answers.

By Super Fly's Demi

October 2, 2006 11:02 AM | Link to this

There are ladies looking to score and you gotta be careful who and where you lay.

Well said Mr.Jake now pouring warm motor oil on Musin’s ‘fo…Look everbody, it’s the Jerri Curls!!!

Hey Hot Sauce

I am Super Fly!!!

F/K wit it!!!

By Kamille

October 2, 2006 11:03 AM | Link to this

That tacky toast did sound a little bitter and jealous to me. I think that a great deal of the reason why relationships fail is because people enter into a relationship for the wrong reasons. They enter in based off of emotions. When a relationship is in it’s beginning stages it’s tingly and a fantasy. But then reality sets in and the fairy tale disappears, that’s when the issues start. People try to hold onto the fairy tale and it can’t be done. That’s why people jump from relationship to relationship. They are in search of that fairy tale feeling. Like the singer Maxwell says, “Love is not a fairy tale and a melody.” I am not saying emotions are bad, they enhance the relationship, but you have to be smart. Love ignores a lot of obvious signs that your brain is picking up on.

I am not afraid of marriage. I am just going to enter in with my head. My marriage will be like a business partnership. Can we work well enough together to acheive an overall life objective? It’s an investment in the future. Marriage is not just about love and feelings. You have to get married with a purpose and an objective that mutually benefits both parties involved in the relationship. There can be romance and everything, but don’t let the emotions cloud your judgement. You hve to be careful where you invest your heart. If you get married based off of feelings, then the relationship won’t last long because feelings change.

By Chink

October 2, 2006 11:05 AM | Link to this

Raqi

You are right they are the one who initiates…..

By Super Fly's Demi

October 2, 2006 11:08 AM | Link to this

Hellz, If left up to me I’d go down to the courthouse, sit my’black’azz in line and pick up the papers

Naw dude…Neva get married at place that ends marriages on the regula…

By myopinion

October 2, 2006 11:11 AM | Link to this

I don’t think people place value on marriage anymore. I think people feel oh well if this doesn’t work out I will just log on and find another mate and so on and so forth. People look at marriage like you are dating. You need to do some research and find out what marriage really is and what it means, it doesn’t mean wedding, it means a lifetime committment to someone. Good and Bad! I believe you know when you are marrying someone you know he/she is not right for you to marry, maybe date but not marry and that is where the mistakes begin so you are doomed from the beginning.

By Techbabe

October 2, 2006 11:11 AM | Link to this

I have been married for 4 years and with my spouse for 7. I know 4 years is not a long time, but compared to all the folks we know who got married around the same time we did, we are one of the only ones still married. What I have seen is that people don’t realize that you have to be committed to the ‘US’ of marraige and not the ‘I’. I say that to say that people do not realize that you are no longer an ‘individual’ when it comes to marraige. If you can’t sacrifice ‘self’ for the greater good of marriage then you are not married to the right person and you shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place. Obviously things happen and situations arise that warrent divorce. But when you’re filing divorce papers 18 -24 months into the marriage, there was something definately wrong prior to the wedding ceremony.

By Lah Lah

October 2, 2006 11:12 AM | Link to this

Hey ya’ll. Hope everyone had a great weekend. Ok, so the toast did deserve an “Oh no he didn’t.” But it was the truth. Over 50% of marriages end in divorce. That is scary for someone like me who would like to be happily married some day.

There was this article in “O” magazine once that spoke of a couple who were recently married but they decided to maintain different residents. She lived in her home with her two girls from a previous marraige and he lived in his home by his dayum self. He would spend the night with her 2-3 days a week but that was it!

My question was why even get married? Oh, yea, to keep from burning.

Anyway, I just feel that ANYTIME you bring two adults together to live under the same roof (for the rest of thier lives) it ain’t gonna be pretty all the time. Feelings change, people change.

Even though a healthy, happy, loving marriage is what I’ve always wanted I can be honest with myself and say I’m not sure at this point in my life, I have what it takes to sustain that type marraige.

In other words, I’m not ready for what I want. If other people were to realize that before walking down the isle, the divorce rate wouldn’t be as high.

I’ll settle for a long term boyfriend for right now.

By 4theLongHaul

October 2, 2006 11:14 AM | Link to this

I’m a witness about people growing apart. My parents divorced after 26 years of marriage and it was the best thing for them(and us chillen!) They were 17 when they married and times were different. My mom got pregnant with my brother (her FIRST time having sex) and then was pregnant with me a year later. So less than a month to my birth, they got married. They were kids. My dad was a hard working hustler, always out there working to provide for us. So he really wasn’t the ‘daddy’ type, therefore making room for us and my mom to do all the bonding, which he resented. He resented the relationship we had with my mom and was always resentful that he had to go without ‘to provide for his kids’. We (me, my brother and sister) were constantly reminded that because of us, he couldn’t do the things his friends did financially, etc. Just crazy!!! We were made to feel guilty when we got jobs and could buy nice stuff for ourselves. So when my baby sister hit 20, my mom was like THIS IS CRAZY!!! We were raised under strict church that didn’t ‘allow’ divorces. Therefore, most couples in my home church were miserably married ‘for the sake of Christ’. Fortunately, we moved to Atlanta and were away from our “home church’s bondage” and after we were all grown, my mom did what was best for all of us…and filed for divorce. Us kids were sooooo happy that she finally got the guts to do it. My parents have since re-married (reallly quickly, within a year for my mom and two years later for my dad) and they are happy and we couldn’t be happier for them! They just grew apart and were two totally different people with different goals, etc.

By abc

October 2, 2006 11:15 AM | Link to this

@reality check, it doesn’t seem to me that divorce alone, in and of itself, could prompt suicide; I would think that depression or other mental illness would have to pre-exist for a divorce to prompt such a tragedy.

My condolences.

By reality check

October 2, 2006 11:20 AM | Link to this

NCgirlinAtl, Prenup agreements are enforceable in Georgi in a way they cannot be overturned if some legal conditions are met.

However, even if the prenup is enforceable, under Georgia law it does not apply to alimony, child support, or division of marital assets.

In short, a prenup in Georgia can only protect assets that existed before the marriage. It can benefit some people who have significant assets before marriage but in the majority of cases a prenup is worthless.

By abc

October 2, 2006 11:23 AM | Link to this

@4thelong, I was just discussing that kind of scenario with my current fierce interest last night. We thought it ironic but almost universal that after all the trials and trevails of raising kids and all the baggage that accumulates between parents in the process of that, by the time the kids are grown and gone, and they’re situated to once again simply be able to enjoy each other, they’re so sick of each other that they divorce. It’s a common scenario.

By frommyeyez0nly

October 2, 2006 11:27 AM | Link to this

I have been weary of marriage from the get go……watching my own parents marriage dissolve kinda set the tone for relationships I have now. I look at so many more attributes and qualities before I decide I even want to talk to someone then most of my friends/family, there is no way I am going to walk into anything blind. Not to mention, I have went to the brink of marriage and figured out that it wasn’t a good idea for both parties. 5 years of life’s lessons learned but it’s taken almost half that time to get back to where I feel “normal” about a relationship.
I question the institution of marriage all the time. I wonder if I should find someone who is willing to not marry but stay a committed couple until one of the two outcomes occur. Then at the same time, that is so unrealistic b/c no man or woman is going to agree to a life long relationship without marriage. I chose to just spend my life enjoying it, if someone comes into it that isn’t going anywhere…kool but I am not holding my breath. Southern twenty something women aren’t up to the challenge, rather none have shown the interest in having a serious committed relationship that is based on communication, honesty and integrity.

Oxygen mask anyone???

By Super Fly's Demi

October 2, 2006 11:30 AM | Link to this

4th I tried to tell my newly wed friend, not to have any kids the first 2-3 years…now he is filing for divorce…will start paying support for 2 kids next month

By reality check

October 2, 2006 11:38 AM | Link to this

You are quite right, abc, depression and/or anxiety disorder is usually involved. There are several types of depression. One is neurotic depression. Neurotic depression occurs without an external stimulus. It is unrelated to anything that is happening. It just occurs.

People can also get depressed and anxious from circumstances. If am armed robber suddenly appeared in your home at night you would probably be quite anxious. That wouldn’t be irrational or inappropriate.

Sometimes otherwise normal people get so depressed over their loss and the ugliness fostered by lawyers they lose all hope and become suicidal.

By Jake

October 2, 2006 11:42 AM | Link to this

@Chink Is there unconditional love anymore?

The answer is a resounding “NO”. Unconditional love is a theory of the past. Relationhips now have extraordinary obstacles.
SEXIST THOUGHT OF THE DAY- In the past women would allow themselves to be courted by a man. A man’s gestures were meaniful and the offer to provide for a woman was noble and right.

Flash Forward- Man-“Can I take you to dinner” Woman- Why should I go to dinner with you, what you think I can’t take care of myself, i don’t need no man to do s** for me Man- “But, I” Woman- That’s ya’ll problem, you always got your eyes on somebody’s Butt. Nasty Azz Man. I don’t like men, I think I want a girlfriend

Back to the topic: Everything has to be questioned nowadays because one false move can get you fugged up.

Example: A chick I know fell for this cat, they lovey dovey, evrything seems okay. three months in, dude steals her identity, runs up thrity g’s in her name. She thought he cared. This shid could happen to anybody.

By Laney

October 2, 2006 11:43 AM | Link to this

Randy, thanks for the perspective!

I think one of my favorite things about weddings is the hopefulness. The bride and groom are so in love and so convinced they will be together forever. Maybe if we just held onto that feeling throughout our relationships, they would last!

By 4theLongHaul

October 2, 2006 11:45 AM | Link to this

abc Yeah. It’s interesting because growing up, I could never understand how in the world people could be married 20+ years and divorce!! But now, I totally understand how that happens. Many stay together for the sake of children, religion, social pressures, etc. Now, as strong as I am in my faith and believe in the holy covenant of marriage, I still believe that no one deserves to live life in misery. Now on the flipside, I’m not advocating divorce or saying it should be used as an easy way out, but in some cases……. I was raised to believe (and still do) that God didn’t create the covenant of marriage to be broken and when it is, it is deemed as sin. But as someone stated some time ago, thank God for the blood and the FORGIVENESS of sin! (but again, don’t use that as an excuse to practice sin or keep getting married and divorcing either!)

By new_name

October 2, 2006 11:47 AM | Link to this

I was married one year. Divorced the next.

If you have never been married you would never understand how it can bring you to a point of dispair.

*After World War II and womans lib.. *women in the workplace is all fine and dandy but I think it has caused destruction to the family unit.

No longer is the man respected and looked up to biblicly as the Head of the family. (i can hear the women now well he is this and that..well y you said yes??) Women are trying to be equal and know nothing about submitting to a man’s leadership.

The men now adays I feel should marry for money like women.

The toast this person made at the wedding was reality.

Before you get married everyone is ohh congratulations.. when is the date…

after your married people drop the show and start acting like you have entered a secret society of unhappy people.

Luckily I escaped with my houses, money, and mind (most of it) in tact.

With the laws being as they are I would recommend a pre-nup.

Until we got married my X and I never argued. The day we got married and she got the MRS title she started telling me what bothered her.

What was her explanation of waiting so long. She felt if she would have addressed the things on her mind before marriage I would not have married her. She is probably right. Be careful.

By NoNonsense

October 2, 2006 11:50 AM | Link to this

I think couples grow apart when one completely excludes the other from their daily life. They no longer share mutual interest. Every individual should have their thing they like to do separately, but when you share nothing more than an address then you are on a downward spiral to the breaking point. My hubby has his friends that he gets together with and they do what they do and I the same. But we have those things that keep us connected like mutual leisure activities, friends, and interests. Notice I did not say our kids. If once you step outside of the confines of your bedroom and there is nothing that you share then you have grown apart. Always be weary when your significant other is seeking other interest that don’t include you in anyway and is becoming less involved with those interest that you once shared.

By THE INFAMOUS DK

October 2, 2006 11:53 AM | Link to this

Good day

Marriage for me will never happen again.. I will meet someone who doesnt want to be married.. I read somewhere that men lose way too much in a divorce and it’s true.. I am living proof.. I dont know about the women having more options here in Atlanta or if they make out better cause if its in you, you can rebuild and come out of the ashes stronger and more determined than ever.. One of my motivating factors in life is to never ever let one of my EX’s see me doing bad, i wont give them the satifaction.. So no Babe you wont see me camped out under I-20.. Lost a house already had others, lost a car already others, pockets are straighter now than when I was married. The only regret I have is I’m not in the home with my Son, but I realize that there is only one Dad, so no Psuedo will ever be able to replace the real thing.. Support Wildlife Stay Single. Oh yeah and joint custody is a must if you are a divorced male with a child, dont be cheap pay those lawyer fees and get a female attorney..

By MusingLee

October 2, 2006 11:54 AM | Link to this

LOL…Jake you wrong for that…hahahahaha…I know a Woman that had the same thing happen to her…She went out with ole dude for about a month or two…Then she starts noticing that her Credit Cards got extra charges on them…Dude been paying off his cell phone bill and buying office supplies online and ishh…Then she gets a phone call anonymously that his name, fly’azz car, and house ain’t even his… real…Hahahahahah…Dayummmmmm…The name is made up, car is his brothers, and house is his friends while out’of town….Man, dude would have taken her to the cleaners if she didn’t get that call, and credit card statement…Ya gots to protect yourself at all times!!!

By dreamer2K

October 2, 2006 11:55 AM | Link to this

Staying together does not mean a marriage is successful. Happily staying together does. I’ve been married for 10+ years and hope to be married many more. Not for the sake of being married, but because my wife and I make each other happy.

I believe strongly in divorce. As far as I know, we each only have one life. Don’t waste it in a miserable love-less marriage. I’ve seen too many people, especially women, believe they have to “hang in there,” year after year. Sometimes those years turn into decades.

Divorce does not mean you’re a failure. Divorce may mean you’re a success. I don’t care what your friends say. I don’t care what you believe your God says.

Friends, you can get more if need be. God, you can get another if need be. The years you’ve wasted, they are gone forever, forever ever.

By NoNonsense

October 2, 2006 11:57 AM | Link to this

Laney do you know I had to learn that love was not a feeling. It scared me to death the first I didn’t “feel” love for my husband. All the giddiness that I felt at one time in the beginning was not there, but I didn’t yet realize that it wasn’t lost. It was just not upfront and centered at the time. But in 12 years I have fallen in love again with me husband at least 100 times.

By 3rdwheelflunkie

October 2, 2006 11:58 AM | Link to this

Happy Monday Yall!

I would love to get married one day but I don’t think it’s going to happen. People are not taking marriage very seriously and sometimes I wonder if it’s a joke. Sometimes people would rather live together, buy a house and a car rather than get married! Then you have some people who have to get married 4 or 5 times before they even turn 30. That sort of thing does something to a person’s ego.Who wants to date someone who has already been married 3 or more times…. Not me. And don’t even bring kids into the equation. I am having a hard time finding a guy who is not gay and has like 2 or 3 baby mamas…. I’m going to Cat shelter today so start picking up my 90 cats…… :o)

By THE INFAMOUS DK

October 2, 2006 11:58 AM | Link to this

New Name Dont they change when they get papers.. Ha!! They know they own you so now you get to see the real person and not the ambassador.. Then on top of that she wanted to change me into the dude she wanted me to be instead of accepting who I was..

By 4theLongHaul

October 2, 2006 12:02 PM | Link to this

new_name I have to address your statement: After World War II and womans lib.. *women in the workplace is all fine and dandy but I think it has caused destruction to the family unit

While I partially agree with this statement, let us also keep things in context. Because of the war, women had NO CHOICE BUT to go to work because their men were away fighting. Right? So don’t think she just decided she was gonna leave her kids for someone else to watch them because she just wanted to be equal with men.

I am one who does still believe in the order God ordained for us; God-Family-Ministry. I believe that a man is and should be the head of the family unit. AND just because a woman works and/or make more money than him doesn’t negate his headship. So don’t dump all women into this thought pattern. There are still women out here, like myself, that wants her man to be the man/head and will respect him as such. And part of that respect is HIM also respecting HER as his partner, and therefore giving her a voice as well and not lording over her because he ‘the head’.

So let’s keep it all in perspective is all I ask sir.

By runninatl

October 2, 2006 12:02 PM | Link to this

Morning folk, strolling in on CPT!!

Demi you are a dayumn fool with the old skool booty mix….lol.

Regina You ain’t never lied about how men can lose out in a divorce!!

On topic Nothing to fear but fear itself. Ish happens and we all take chances in life. I just try to take the chances that have the best opportunity to work out in my favor. My divorce was cool until my ex-wife tried to use the kids against me. We get along better now but it’s taken 6 long years. But as new_name has posted, divorce can be very ugly and can leave people really jaded about relationships and even thinking about ever getting married again. But time heals all wounds.

Off topic Downtown was sick on Friday with that MBA conference, black people were looking good, especially the black women who were looking oh so beautiful!!!

By MusingLee

October 2, 2006 12:05 PM | Link to this

I have the key to married, here it goes!!!

Men Marry you an uggggggly Woman….That way she won’t want nobody but you…LOLOLOL

Women If you a hot look’in chick….Marry you a capital (U)gly man…That way he want wanna go nowhere without you…And if you are an ugggggggly Woman, refer to the Men’s step, cause they will be looking for you now.

Now hiding under desk with sharp letter opener and preparing for the backlash from the ugly Women whos feelings were hurt

By THE INFAMOUS DK

October 2, 2006 12:07 PM | Link to this

Oh yeah and for all you Party People who have never been married giving marital advice.. You cant.. It sounds good but until you go through it you really cant speak on it.. I looks easy from the outside but on the inside its a whole notha sport all together..

By Super Fly's Demi

October 2, 2006 12:07 PM | Link to this

Oh yeah and joint custody is a must if you are a divorced male with a child, dont be cheap pay those lawyer fees and get a female attorney..

True that!!!

By Regina

October 2, 2006 12:11 PM | Link to this

NCgirlfromATL, abc is correct in saying that the reason cases are settled out of court is that the courts will make the man pay his and her legal costs if he doesn’t settle.

About the children…even when both parents have careers in Georgia, the woman most likely gets custody. Even if it is proven the father is the better parent, she will still get custody unless the child is 14 and decides to live with their father.

I know several elite lawyers and they have told me, a pre-nup can be broken.

Jake, many women in Atlanta are looking for a man to marry and “retire” them. You are a lotto ticket to them. All I can say is “Beware”. The men in my family have been through the ringer with their divorces and many of the women in my family understand the male side of divorce.

Did anyone see 20/20 last week about gender differences? Did you see the part about the effect having child has on relationships?

Reality Check, I have seen men despondent like the member of your divorce group. I am saddened about that and wish society would understand more about the effect of divorce on men. It is sad that courts take away all rights that men have and determine their future fate.

All I can say to anyone getting married, male or female, is to get the best attorney you can find and try to get a pre-nup that is hard to pick apart for pre-marital earnings/estate.

By Denise

October 2, 2006 12:13 PM | Link to this

It is not the divorce rate that frightens me, it is the law! I am VERY fearful of marrying again. I am a successful businesswoman who cannot image having to give a man half of all I have worked for before I met him after two years or so of marriage. I cannot image having to sell my home and give someone half of the profits because we did not work out. I have been married before, I have a wonderful child from my marriage and at age 37, I do not feel the need to marry again.

In addition, I think that everyone should not get married. Marriage is a union of committment you enter into with your spouse and GOD. If you are not religious, why are you making a committment to a God with whom you are not familiar. I am for Civil Unions, not only for gay couples, but also for men and women who do not have a strong religious background. Maybe that is why the divorce rate is so high. Nonbelievers in Christ are making committments to an entity they do not understand.

By Demi

October 2, 2006 12:14 PM | Link to this

God, you can get another if need be

Holy Shyt!! Batman did you just read that???!!!

runninatl DAPPs homes…How is life?

By MusingLee

October 2, 2006 12:14 PM | Link to this

runnin Man, I was hanging at a spot on Friday…and had I been single again, I would have been like a shark in a community swimming pool…Some of the chicks were looking Ohh, So Good…LOL…”Blood in the water, Blood in the water!”

By Words of Clarity

October 2, 2006 12:21 PM | Link to this

Yeah Laney, the toast was very distasteful.

Let’s say I never get married, I stay single and plan my future primarily around myself, what I want, and what I want to do! Although the advantages me being single are awesome, being married to that special someone when I’m around 40+ is not a irrational thought or hope. At this moment, being single I am still building a relationship with someone. We don’t share the same checking account and not even the same home but we depend upon each to some degree.

Doing the I thing is great but the we thing will give me an opportunity build memories, share my life with someone I love and trust. The thought seems like a fairytale, but love strikes me unconditional with absolute moments of bliss just as it does in realistic situations where there is much turmoil.

Either way I still need and want companionship at times, to me it’s appropriate, good for my health, and required.

By Blue_Kolla

October 2, 2006 12:25 PM | Link to this

The name is made up, car is his brothers, and house is his friends while out’of town

Almost any caper can be pulled off with the correct stage props.

By Jewel

October 2, 2006 12:25 PM | Link to this

Question for the blog: I have not read all of the comments, so forgive me if this has already been addressed.

Do you think the odds for a successful marriage increases if the couple lives together prior to saying “I Do”“

By Hot Sauce

October 2, 2006 12:29 PM | Link to this

Musing that was’nt very nice of you to say that!

By Regina

October 2, 2006 12:29 PM | Link to this

Denise and other women, I appeal to those of you who know the laws are unfair and do something about it. If the laws are fair, then you will see more people willing to get married. Denise, you probably don’t have much to worry about. In a divorce, you would probably keep what you had and get half of what he has. In divorce court, women are more favored regardless of what is on the books. It isn’t right, but the judges are very gender-biased.

By new_name

October 2, 2006 12:33 PM | Link to this

Infamous DK it was like a magic trick. (no pun intended) ring goes on.. different person comes out.

4thelonghaul read what I wrote again. Your premise is wrong. I agree women had no choice but to go to war. What I am concerend with is the subsequent attitude of most women.

Women making a living and in search for equal rights lost sight of men.

You said And part of that respect is HIM also respecting HER as his partner, and therefore giving her a voice as well and not lording over her because he ‘the head’

This attitude is not submissive!!!

I do not agree with men lording over women.

I am telling you that you had a choice to say yes or no. If you choice yes.. be his helpmate and submit.

Definition of submit: . yield to the control of another * . *submit or yield to another’s wish or opinion . take: accept or undergo, often unwillingly

Women jump into marriage because thats what they want too easy. Then try to change the man.. Thats not what God ordained.

Furthermore!!!

(I know Im g