Misadventures in Atlanta

By Icey

November 10, 2006 08:13 AM | Link to this

Good Morning…I read this blog on & off from time to time depending on the topic & I really enjoy it….I would like to give a shout out to the frequent male bloggers…..I know some of u get alot of backlash from some of the female bloggers & I just want to say keep it coming….I so appreciate & look forward to what most of u have to say….no matter how harsh it may seem…So Thanks u guys..

By Cinderella

November 10, 2006 08:28 AM | Link to this

Favorite celebrity couple: Will Smith & Jada Pinkett. The way they remain strong together as a family is a beautiful thing. I’m not surprised when I see celebrity couples break up no matter how long they’ve been together but I would be crushed to see Will & Jada split.

By MsUnderstood

November 10, 2006 08:50 AM | Link to this

HII!! Blog Fam

favorite celebrity couple is Holly Robinson-Pete & Rodney Pete.

By Darkbeauty w/Dimples

November 10, 2006 08:51 AM | Link to this

Happy Friday!!

I can’t say that I learn from celebrity marriages…their issues may be the same, but the resolution to most of their problems have options that are not available to many of us. They can throw enough money at a situation to make it go away. Now, of course with that being said, there are issues that money can’t resolve, but I learn that from my friends that are married. By the time you hear about a celebrity marital problem…it’s when they’re in divorce court. But my girlfriends..you hear the struggle along the way and can look back on the situation to see when and where things went wrong….you don’t have that insight on celebrity marriages.

My role models are the ones you see everyday just trying to do the damn thing…

But given that….I would add Bill Clinton and Hilary Clinton…After the Monica Lewinsky deal…you saw the estrangement between the couple and in her book she talks about how he slept on the couch for months…that’s real…because that’s real pain and not hollywood.

By Raqi

November 10, 2006 08:54 AM | Link to this

I never understood the celebrity hype, but here’s my take on the above:

WH & BB: You play with fire you are bound to get burned. He was not good for her at all.

BS & KF: You cannot teach an old “DOG” new tricks. She would have been a fool not to have a prenup.

PM & HM: Dignity comes with maturity.

PH & ?: What you see is what you get.

HB & GA: Who’s to say what color love is. Love is color blind.

JJ & JD: Screw what people think and go out and get your man.

The following list proves to me in some respect that there can only be one superstar in the relationship and you have to keep the public out of your business.

Mel Gibson – Married 26 years

Samuel L. Jackson – Married 26 years

Denzel Washington – Married 23 years

D.L. Hughley – Married 20 years

Dan Aykroyd – Married 23 years

By MsUnderstood

November 10, 2006 09:01 AM | Link to this

^5 Raqi I totally agree. Girl send this post to ET.

By Wise Diva

November 10, 2006 09:03 AM | Link to this

Good morning, TGIF!

Hey Raqi, you know that is a good observation you made.

and before the E-Jacks start complaining, yes it is a total chick topic! LOL

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!!

By 4theLongHaul

November 10, 2006 09:04 AM | Link to this

Morning everybody. It’s FRIDAYYYYY! I don’t learn nothing from celeb couples. On a whole other level!

But I was disappointed to hear the break-up of Kimora & Russell.

By Kym aka Southern Girl

November 10, 2006 09:04 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

I dont look to celebs for relationship advice because behind the glamour is still a human being who has the same problems as everyone else just it catches more light because they are in the public eye.

But if I had to choose a celeb relationships to admire I would say

Samuel L. Jackson and Latonya Richardson

Courtney Vance and Angela Bassett

Ozzie Davis and Ruby Dee

By Cinderella

November 10, 2006 09:04 AM | Link to this

@Raqi- How bout Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson? I love them! Even though she’s not as big as Tom she holds her own and they’ve been married for a long time.

Or Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. They’ve made a lifetime commitment without a marriage license. They doing the darn thang!

By aggressively witty

November 10, 2006 09:08 AM | Link to this

Only thing I can learn from celebrity couples is that being super rich is good. but the “allupinyourbizness” aspect of being said coupole sucks. But mostly the money makes up for it. These joe schmoes cant show me nothing about marriage that i cant pick up from any married couple I spend some time with that are “regular people”.

With all that being said the celebrity couple that I would hope to emulate in some way with my wife is ossie davis and Ruby dee. Not that they appear to be the arbiters of what a good marriage is supposed to be, but they were together for what seems like hundreds of years and they always had a glow when in interviews they would speak of each other.

By Wise Diva

November 10, 2006 09:14 AM | Link to this

oh and lessons we can learn from celebs can be what NOT to do as well. Of course we don’t know what really goes on behind closed doors either.

By Sexione

November 10, 2006 09:15 AM | Link to this

Happy Friday Everyone!!!

I’ve never really cared about what celebrity was marrying who, or divorcing who, or creeping with who. These are regular people with regular problems like all of us (minus the money).

But if you want a good example, look at the life of Ossie Davis (the late) and Ruby Dee.

Raqi…The following list proves to me in some respect that there can only be one superstar in the relationship and you have to keep the public out of your business. Good point!!

By aggressively witty

November 10, 2006 09:17 AM | Link to this

LOL @ paris hilton = celebrity

This country sucks.

By 4theLongHaul

November 10, 2006 09:26 AM | Link to this

Well, I don’t think we can really use Celeb marriages as a learning ground because it’s just on a whole other plateau. Having ALL your business constantly before the public….every fight, every argument, etc and we as ‘normal’ folks don’t have that kind of public pressure on us. I couldn’t imagine having every incident of bickering, squabbles, etc always being broadcasted, having cameras on you (even when you don’t know it) at all times, etc.

I mean I guess you can learn from the success stories stated earlier on the blog that even with all that kind of pressure on you, YOU CAN WORK IT AND BE HAPPY. So if they can deal with it on that high scale, us mere mortals certainly can survive if we CHOOSE to make it work.

By Darkbeauty w/Dimples

November 10, 2006 09:27 AM | Link to this

Wise I guess I can see the biggest lesson I learn from celebrities is if I had a million plus dollars then I would need a prenup. That’s always my question when they get a divorce…did they have a prenup. So I’m glad to hear that Britney did, but unfortunately Resse Witherspoon did not.

By Bre'

November 10, 2006 09:31 AM | Link to this

Greetings this morning to all…its a beautiful day out.

Cinderalla Now Kurt and Goldie are an inspiration to me.

People are people, stars or regular everyday people. Until one of them gets up and put there pants on different I could careless. My GP’s are an inspiration to me I see there ups and downs every single day for 35 years. Those in the spotlight you only see what you are allowed to see. Its good water cooler gossip that’s about it for me.

By Roseanne Rosanna Danna

November 10, 2006 09:31 AM | Link to this

Whitney and Bobby, they took a few cracks at it.

Brit and Kev - examples for birth control.

Reese and Ryan - No more Reese’s pieces no more.

Paul and Heather - So much cash she won’t have a leg to stand on in court.

Paris - Proof that White Trash With Money is more than just another catchy song.

Halle and Gabe - It just goes to show ya..20 does go into 40 a lot more than 40 goes into 20.

Janet and Jermaine - Forever limited to the nosebleed sections at football games.

Where’s my couple a pals Jane and Dan? Dan and John?

By Raqi

November 10, 2006 09:32 AM | Link to this

@Cindy: Oh yeah, I forgot about Tom Hanks – Married 18, even if he did married her less than one year after divorcing his first wife.

The one thing I just don’t get is these celebs leaving their present spouses or love interests for who ever they are rubbing shoulders with while filming a new flick. Do you think Angelina Ho-lie was worried about Brad arm-Pitt hooking with Kate Blanchett (I know she is married) while filming Babel Like “Mick Dundee” left his wife of 30 years for that no so glamorous co-star of his, that is just foul.

Were not Ossie and Ruby swingers?

By NCgirlfromATL

November 10, 2006 09:40 AM | Link to this

oh and lessons we can learn from celebs can be what NOT to do as well.

Don’t marry a celebrity!

I deal with regular people and their divorce mess everyday. Adding the media and the stalkerazzi to the mix only leads to more time on the shrink’s couch for the adults and the kids.

In my line of work, we have 2 rules:

Therapy works, people! lol!

By Sexione

November 10, 2006 09:42 AM | Link to this

Raqi…Were not Ossie and Ruby swingers?
Were they? See now that goes to show how much I care or pay attention to what these folks are doing. There’s way too much going on in “the real world” to really know or care, IMHO!!

By abc

November 10, 2006 09:46 AM | Link to this

The lives of celebrities don’t resemble those of normal, everyday people. Neither do their ‘relationships’. I agree with aggwit, why are these people famous? Paris gained fame from a sex video of her and her boyfriend at the time, and hasn’t done much of repute since.

Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown nutcase junkies. She can’t sing in tune and he can’t sing.

Brittney Spears and Kevin Federline Popularity based on ‘Lolita’ for her, he enjoys no popularity. Neither have any discernable talent.

Reese Whitherspoon and Ryan Philippe I read that their problems are based on infidelity. Neither act very well, but they’re cute, ain’t they.

Paul McCartney and Heather Mills Ah well, but he was a Beatle; he’s a lousy musician, decent singer, very good pop songwriter. Heather has great leg.

Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubrey She’s hot… who is that guy? Never heard of him, guess I should watch more TV.

Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupree She’s hot… but who cares? Again, maybe I’m not watching enough TV.

By Raqi

November 10, 2006 09:46 AM | Link to this

Wise I agree that we could probably learn more of what not to do from most celebrities.

I feel like this when it comes to relationships, celebrity or layperson, check the freakin’ record, it speaks for itself. If your person of interest has a long history of minute-marriages tailing them, chances are you will end up being part of that tail.

If they are known for bad behavior(Bobby Brown), sexual addictions(Eric Benet), homosexuality(Al Reynolds) etc. chances are this will be the demise of your relationship.

By Darkbeauty w/Dimples

November 10, 2006 09:50 AM | Link to this

But I think if a man would come at me and he’s just crossed the line of 6 figures and wanted a prenup….I probably would laugh….don’t know why….but I would!

By Just plain tired

November 10, 2006 09:50 AM | Link to this

Hello everyone,

Britney Spears - What was she thinking? When you take a man from another women, a pregnant woman at that what type of man do you really think you are getting.

To all the celeb ladies - get a prenup - haven’t any of you learned from Roseanne Barr or Elizabeth Taylor.

What have I learned from celebs? Avoid temptations. All those movies with you kissing and rubbing on someone everyday - hey someone may start catching feelings. Hence Angelina and Brad. Hey Angelina, I like ya girl, but what type of man do you think you are getting that cheated on his wife to be with you.

Avoid “risky” situations. However, that is a little hard for celebs - but just looking at all the breakups and so on is a lesson to learn from.

By Sunny

November 10, 2006 09:57 AM | Link to this

I personally could not care any less about celebrity this or that. Who really looses sleep over these things? I certainly don’t. Why are Britney and K-Fed getting so much air time. Who REALLY Cares? What an absolute waste of time to obsess over another human being. And in the celebrity marriage thing, how about Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward, 50+ years I believe. Now there’s someone to admire. Or for that fact, any couple who have committed to each other for that long deserves more recognition that the “flavor of the month”.

By aggressively witty

November 10, 2006 10:00 AM | Link to this

Like the great social commentator Chris Rock said, you dont have to be rich to get a prenup. Poor people need prenups too.

“If I make 50K and you decide you wanna get divorved, i am not going to go live with my momma cause you not in love anymore”

Yall got it twisted on this prenup thing. And the idea of a prenup is not just to protect what you have, but what you might earn. If you broads are smart you marrying a dude with goals and future earning potential. A prenup protects him from you taking all that too.

By Darkbeauty w/Dimples

November 10, 2006 10:06 AM | Link to this

Are their divorce rate any higher than non-celebrities? I hear figures all the time…aren’t we running around 60percent these days?

By JustMe

November 10, 2006 10:08 AM | Link to this

Happy HoliFriday To all

Celebrity Divorces just go to prove that no matter how much money you have at your disposal, people are still unhappy and just like normal (non celebrity) couples, real love and happiness is still hard to find.

By Charlotte

November 10, 2006 10:12 AM | Link to this

All relationships, celebrity or not, are about growth. You grow at different rates, at different directions, at different times. Sometimes, you even outgrow each other.

And then you have to decide if it is for the highest and best good of all to hang on or let go. Years ago, I let go of a wonderful fiance because I realized that I was not the right wife for the career/lifestyle he was planning for himself. Now he is happily married to someone else and I am now engaged to the right man for me.

By Foots (aka Toya)

November 10, 2006 10:16 AM | Link to this

Just curious… Aren’t Will and Jada swingers too? Aren’t they doing the open relationship thing like Mo’Nique and her husband?

By Foots (aka Toya)

November 10, 2006 10:18 AM | Link to this

AggWit Then I hope that Chris had one, if his divorce rumors are true.

I was sad to hear about Eddie and Nicole. I thought that they had a lovely family. And Terry McMillan and her “man”. She certainly makes a case for not bragging TOO hard about your man.

By NCgirlfromATL

November 10, 2006 10:19 AM | Link to this

Agg please pass the gold pen, so I can co-sign on that pre-nup post. Because of the way NC divorce laws are set up, they aren’t as popular here. But, I’m a business owner. When I get married, don’t think I won’t be protecting that. I may have nothing but my house and my business, but that’s all pre-marital property, ie, all miiiiines! lol!

By Ghost

November 10, 2006 10:21 AM | Link to this

If women like Halle and Lisa Rae can’t keep their men faithful, it makes you wonder about what they’re offering in the relationship. Obviously, there’s more to them than a pretty face and gorgeous body. After while, I suppose the other 75% of what truly makes up who they are kicks in. That 75% determines whether it’ll work or not.

I suppose Halle and Lisa’s mates (or exs) are very much like any other regular guy, regardless of the fame. You know….”I’m really dating Halle, and she really likes me. Even though I don’t think we’re that compatible in certain areas (i.e. bed, traits, etc.), but I’m gonna milk her as long as I can keep up this act. I’ll be whoever she wants me to be, until she finds me out. I get along with (Susie May) much better, but she’s not famous.”

By Wise Diva

November 10, 2006 10:22 AM | Link to this

Agg Witt brings up a good point.

So do you guys think that alimony is outdated? With today’s society, is it a good thing?

By JustMe

November 10, 2006 10:24 AM | Link to this

Foots I have heard that so many times about W&J that I just assume it is true. I guess that’s what it takes to keep a spouse satisfied on a certain level. Who y’all think asked for it, Will or Jada?

By Blue_Kolla

November 10, 2006 10:28 AM | Link to this

What up blog…

Hmmm… Hollywood romance is just a money generator, nothing more than lifestyles of the rich and famous and those who wish to be them.

Looks like a good day to do some work and take a longggg lunch.

By Wise Diva

November 10, 2006 10:31 AM | Link to this

Great points, Charlotte - congrats on your engagement!

By Sexione

November 10, 2006 10:32 AM | Link to this

Foots….I believe you are correct. I know Will and Jada have admitted to it. Didn’t know Mo’Nique even had a husband (I knew she had twins recently).

And who would admire that unless it’s your lifestyle too. I’m not judging them or their actions, but I certainly don’t “admire” or look up to it.

By Wise Diva

November 10, 2006 10:36 AM | Link to this

wow, Blue Kolla, your work day depends on the blog topic too? LOL

By 4theLongHaul

November 10, 2006 10:38 AM | Link to this

JustMe My money’s on Jada…….

By Foots (aka Toya)

November 10, 2006 10:43 AM | Link to this

Blue The money generation comment is a good point. I’m suspicious of the timing of some of the Hollywood romances/marriages too. Usually around the time a new movie opens (although why actors can’t work together without having an affair and ending up together is beyond me) or when a new CD drops, we hear about one of the parties. Some of them are true publicity stunts.

But some of them are a true testament to how love can survive through good times and bad with enough commitment. Sam Jackson and Tonya made it through infidelity and drug use. A lot of those long-term couples made it through something that would tear other couples apart. We probably could name couples like that in our families or in our churches. One lady in my church, whose husband has passed, said that she was married to him for over 50 years, but he was only faithful and good to her for his last five years on earth. How DO people make it through relationships like that unless it’s true commitment?

By Foots (aka Toya)

November 10, 2006 10:44 AM | Link to this

Just Me I’m thinking Jada.

By Jasmine

November 10, 2006 10:44 AM | Link to this

Both parties, male or female, rich or poor, should have the other partner sign a prenuptial. I think the men in the marriages stated above should go for custody and spousal support. If the situation was reversed, the women would do so. Maybe when more women are having to give their ex-spouse part of their income and child support, the family law courts and corresponding laws will take the gender bias out. Sometimes, a woman has to be treated like a man to see how unfair they are treated. I see it because I know how the men in my family have been treated in the court system. It doesn’t matter if they are good fathers, didn’t cheat, etc. They are still seen as the scum of the earth in family law court. So, women, if you are truly a feminist, you will want all laws to be fair. More men will be willing to have relationships and get married if they know the risk for a woman is just a great as their risk.

By Tazzee

November 10, 2006 10:44 AM | Link to this

Morning folks!

I don’t use celebrity relationships as a learning tool for good or bad examples. But there are some couples that I hope remain together. Most have been mentioned. I hope Kenny Lattimore and Chante Moore hang in there (loving their new 2-disc set right now).

Pre-nups, depending on the circumstances surrounding my marriage I may or may not get one.

By Darkbeauty w/Dimples

November 10, 2006 10:47 AM | Link to this

Foots Jada cleared up that rumor…she said they are NOT swingers…what she said she wanted to convey is that you can’t stop a man from doing anything. If he chooses to go out and sleep with another woman and can live with himself then that’s between him and his God. But it’s not acceptable to her.

JustMe So you’re still talking to Detroit???

NC So if there’s a prenup, but there are kids involved…will they still take his assets in consideration in establishing child support? This is where my online law degree fails me LOL

By JustMe

November 10, 2006 10:49 AM | Link to this

Sexione

JustMe is gonna play the Devils Advocate for a moment…….

Me being the way I am when it comes to infedelity (1 and u out),

I would dare to venture that the “openess” of these kind of relationships keep the doors of sexual satisfaction “swinging” shall we say.

Now while I can’t say that I could would ever subscribe to or accept this knid of relationship, I can’t help but wonder if we are all part-time “swingers” but don’t actually participate literally. Who actually admits to a 1st time partner that they were with someone else possibly only hours before?

By Tazzee

November 10, 2006 10:49 AM | Link to this

Unless a spouse quit their job to maintain the household and in turn, their earning potential is decreased - I don’t believe in alimony. Child support, yes - alimony, no.

By JustMe

November 10, 2006 10:51 AM | Link to this

4TLH Ya think?

By JustMe

November 10, 2006 10:55 AM | Link to this

DB w/D Not much these days.

By JustMe

November 10, 2006 10:57 AM | Link to this

Tazee That’s a good point.

By NCgirlfromATL

November 10, 2006 10:57 AM | Link to this

Darkbeauty NC So if there’s a prenup, but there are kids involved…will they still take his assets in consideration in establishing child support?

In NC (since that’s the only place I have a license to practice and can give an opinion on), yes, the court can take separate assets into consideration when determining child support. But, that’s usually only in a situation where the plaintiff is asking for a deviation from the NC Child Support Guidelines, b/c the paying party’s income is extremely high, or they are intentionally suppressing their income. You can’t live in a $300k house and drive 2 cars and a motorcycle and say you don’t make any money, but your bills are all paid on time. That money is coming from somewhere.

By Jasmine

November 10, 2006 10:59 AM | Link to this

I don’t believe in alimony either. A grown person should take care of themselves financially. However, I don’t agree with child support where it is excessive where the custodial parent can live off of it. If it is excessive, anything that isn’t used for the child’s care should be required to be put into a savings account or trust fund.

I agree with P. Diddy for not marrying Kim Porter. I think she is a golddigger who lives off her womb. He would be very smart not too. What would it gain him? He has everything now. Marrying her would only open his wallet even more to her. What does she have to offer him?

By Raqi

November 10, 2006 11:02 AM | Link to this

I think everyone should leave with what they came in with and everything obtained during the relationship should be divided equally.

Or you can do what Eddie Murphy’s wife did, agree to a certain amount for every child that you have. She agreed to no alimony but to receive $5mil payoff for every kid….and people thought she just liked being pregnant, LOL. Talk about pimping your kids.

By Darkbeauty w/Dimples

November 10, 2006 11:03 AM | Link to this

Here’s my struggle….I know that there are men who stay in their marriages because they know it’s cheaper to keep her. I have a friend who I know would have bounced if he had a prenup, but not having one made him stay. They worked through their problems and are happy now….if he had a prenup he would have been so gone….

By Sexione

November 10, 2006 11:04 AM | Link to this

JustMe…Who actually admits to a 1st time partner that they were with someone else possibly only hours before? Now that’s funny!!!

By Twin Diva

November 10, 2006 11:06 AM | Link to this

Celebrity Marriages only become real marriages in my opinion after 15 years. The fact remains we live in a society which doesn’t value marriage. This is why folks jump in and out of it. It isn’t valued nor is it sacred. So you will continue to see this until people take committment seriously.

By JustMe

November 10, 2006 11:06 AM | Link to this

Jasmine I don’t think being rich should abslve a person from getting married. Being together for XX years is a long time to to be good enough to bed but not too marry.

By Laney

November 10, 2006 11:07 AM | Link to this

all-time fave celeb couple: Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, by far. They obviously share a lot of the same passions - film, politics, family - but also have some important differences.

Susan, who says that in some ways Tim, a dozen years her junior, is “older and more traditional” than she is, admits their numbers gap has broadened her horizons. “When you’re with someone from a different generation it can be so stimulating. You know, Tim’s taste in music, his love of hockey - it opens you up to new experiences.” Meanwhile Tim, who is dad to two of Susan’s three children, says that in their happy romance, “Age hasn’t been a factor.”

By Wise Diva

November 10, 2006 11:14 AM | Link to this

hey Laney waving

I forget about those two, they MUST be doing something right because the Media leaves them ALONE. LOL!

By Jasmine

November 10, 2006 11:16 AM | Link to this

I think joint legal and joint custody of the children should be the norm unless there is a “history” of domestic violence. Many women use the “I am scared of him” when he has never hit her or abused her in any way to gain an edge in the divorce.

Women, if we want men to marry us, then we should push for “fair” divorce and child support laws, publicly admonish women who cry wolf, and not take children out of their father’s lives.

For women, marriage is an advantage. For men, it is a disadvantage. Let’s work to make it an advantage for both parties.

By Jasmine

November 10, 2006 11:21 AM | Link to this

JustMe, in his case, he shouldn’t marry her. Why? She has shown her hand and shown him she just loves the lifestyle. Plus, she took him to court for more child support. He is handling it in the best way. Now, she is trying to get everyone’s support to get him to marry her so she can financially ruin him. He is a fool if he does. Eddie Murphy was smart in getting an iron-clad prenup.

By D Dub of the ATL Version 3.0

November 10, 2006 11:23 AM | Link to this

You know what I’ve learned from all these celebrity couples?

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

What happens between those couples is exactly that - between them.

I understand and recognize the importance of role models, but hanging on every action, word, or thought that someone else spews your way is ridiculous, dangerous, and above all stupid.

The life of a celebrity only applies to you if you are the celebrity.

By Darkbeauty w/Dimples

November 10, 2006 11:24 AM | Link to this

Thanks NC! So,if you have a bizness and get married…a prenup will say that ownership remains with you? But they can still go after your earnings from the bizness right?

Jazz Do you think that a Multi-Millionaire man should live in mansion with expensive cars and his son should live very modestly? I would think that a real man would want his son to live at the same level he does…..without thought to the female.

By runninatl

November 10, 2006 11:26 AM | Link to this

Morning folk.

Jasmine’s posts have brought me out of lurkville. You get three dozen white blog roses, a free blog day at the spa (sponsored by ajc.com and Diva & Laney), a blog gift certificate for 1000 free issues of the AJC, and the blog smiley face for the day….LOL. Now back to ESPN.com….

By Raqi

November 10, 2006 11:26 AM | Link to this

Lionel Richie’s ex-wife asked for over $300,000 a month in support because she claims while being married to him she became accustomed to living a certain lifestyle and she wants to maintain it, at his expense, even after their divorce. I heard a “rumor” that she still lives in his house while receiving support payments but I don’t know how true that is.

But you know when you think about it, some people probably deserve large settlements and payoffs for all the crap that they had to endure while in these relationships.

By Jasmine

November 10, 2006 11:27 AM | Link to this

Paul McCartney was crazy for marrying Heather Mills. His children, especially Stella, could see that gold-digging tr-mp a mile away! Heather caught him at a vulnerable time because he was still missing his life love Linda. I hope the courts take his side…give her a few million, pay child support and kick her to the curb.

By SeanJohnson

November 10, 2006 11:27 AM | Link to this

Sup blog….Hollywood marriages to me seem more like arranged power unions…to boost carees and are more like flings than actual marriages for love. Dont really see the problem in that if thats floats ya boat..and since they are in the entertainment business…its good for business..I think the women mentioned in the marriages in above comments who have been married for a minute can actually teach average females a thing or two about marriage…i applaud them for playing their position.

By Skegee (formerly SheSpeaks formerly Skegee)

November 10, 2006 11:33 AM | Link to this

Morning all…I don’t know how true this is but I just received this email…

REGINA KING TO DIVORCE HUSBAND?: New York Post Page Six says couple is splitting over ‘physical abuse, drug use, and extramarital affairs. (http://www.eurweb.com/story.cfm?id=29676)

By gavi1126

November 10, 2006 11:33 AM | Link to this

Good Friday Ladies/Gents Even though I admire celebrity couples, i do not look up to them, or compare them to my life. We cannot relate at all. Also i respect celeb couples who actually do have a family and live private lives. They don’t flaunt the funk to us!

By JustMe

November 10, 2006 11:33 AM | Link to this

Jasmine For women, marriage is an advantage. For men, it is a disadvantage. Let’s work to make it an advantage for both parties.

Marriage between two people who love each other for who they are and not what they have will always be an advantage for both partied. The problem is people are marrying for the wrong reasons i.e. marrying a representative of their spouse.

By Skegee (formerly SheSpeaks formerly Skegee)

November 10, 2006 11:34 AM | Link to this

It’s Homecoming!!!! Heyyyyyyyyy Tuskegee woo woo woo!!!!

By Thick

November 10, 2006 11:35 AM | Link to this

What’s Up Blogmates

I don’t focus on celebrity relationships to learn lessons in particular, but I have notice over the years of watching TV and becoming a real music buff that celebrity couples who stay together on a life long basis such Ozzie Davis & Ruby Dee, Camila & Bill Cosby, Latonya Richardson & Samuel L. Jackson, and Jada & Will Smith are good at keeping the business out of the press. They support each other, and they have a respect for each other’s craft. I find the realtionships between them to be inspiring and even comical. I like the way they do things sometimes and allow people to make what they want of it. LOL, the swinger stuff is too funny. And shoot being in a “celebrity” relationship is just as surprising to the celebrities they are no different than you or I! They have the same experiences, fights, thoughts and emotions, their human.

Honey, my prayers goes out to all those couples who try to be married and build relationships in the spot light among paparazi. People really need to get a life!

By Jasmine

November 10, 2006 11:39 AM | Link to this

Runninatl, thank you! LOL

By JustMe

November 10, 2006 11:43 AM | Link to this

Jasmine He is obvisously gaining some pleasures with her. I guess he just wants to make sure he has beautiful children then, because the “ship” is still a float and there are a few buns in the oven. He should ensure that whe the children are with Pretty-Mommy that the live the same way they do when they are with silly-diddy!

By Jasmine

November 10, 2006 11:43 AM | Link to this

Darkbeauty w/Dimples, if the man can provide the children more than a modest living, why shouldn’t he get custody? And, when the child is with him, the child will enjoy his lifestyle. A real man will provide for his children, but I don’t think a court should decide at what level if it is an excessive amount. And, the mother should have her “own” income instead of staying at home and “living” off the child support.

By gavi1126

November 10, 2006 11:44 AM | Link to this

Oh.. one thing i do learn from celeb couples..is always keep up with your man..or vice-versa.. Keep a check on them on regular basics!! Anywho..everybody have a great wkend..enjoy the warmth!!

By Jasmine

November 10, 2006 11:47 AM | Link to this

Skegee, the SIAC is okay. However, the SWAC is where it’s at! Good luck on your Homecoming.

By MsUnderstood

November 10, 2006 11:52 AM | Link to this

I believe if they made it much harder to divorce people will take marriages more serious. As someone said earlier marriage is a sacred amd committed relationship between to people who love each other for better or worse. The prenup laws needs to be removed because people have more excuses to break up than to work it out. Tell me who don’t have problems? H3ll we all do and running from them won’t make it better, dealing with the problem and moving froward is the solution. It takes a lot to deal with each other in a relationship that why there is conseling so you can find out way before the I DO’s if you are as compatiable as you think.

By Skegee (formerly SheSpeaks formerly Skegee)

November 10, 2006 11:52 AM | Link to this

HA! We always thought the saying was SWAC is wack… Just kidding just kidding… Thanks though, Jasmine. You didn’t go to Southern did you?

By Jasmine

November 10, 2006 11:53 AM | Link to this

Justme, no marriage is not really a good deal for men. I see it and I’m a woman. Let’s see, a man and woman gets married…She decides she doesn’t want to be married anymore, has an affair, etc. In divorce court, she gets the house because they have children, half or more of his premarital assets, most of the marital assets, custody of the children and child support. He gets the shaft, most of the marital debt if not all, a large attorney bill, and a woman in his pocket until the children turn 18 or 21. Uh, who has the advantage?

By Jasmine

November 10, 2006 11:58 AM | Link to this

JustMe, they do live the same with her and with him. In fact, I think they live together. He provides bodyguards, nannies, school tuition for his child and for her child by Al B. Sure. This is in addition to the child support he pays her. So, why did she need more child support? To support herself because she doesn’t want to work for a living. She is basically a surrogate living by her womb.

By JustMe

November 10, 2006 12:00 PM | Link to this

Jasmine How easy is it gonna be to take 3 of Diddy’s seeds to the neighborhood Daycare? His status dictates that he children will require upon his demand I’m sure, a certain level of privacy and security. Since she’s obviously not the only one with a household name, why should all of her earned income be the only income used to maintain what his status dictates is necessary moreso than hers?

By Jasmine

November 10, 2006 12:00 PM | Link to this

MsUnderstood, It shouldn’t be harder to divorce, it should be harder to marry. Counseling, financial, etc. should be required. A thorough health screening should be done. Background checks, credit report, etc.

All the cards should be put on the table. Then, a waiting period…

By Darkbeauty w/Dimples

November 10, 2006 12:00 PM | Link to this

Jazz This is an interesting discussion…I’m not sure where I really fall…but fore some reason it doesn’t sound right for the man to live so lavishly and the child….only on every other weekend. But a fair law applies to all, regardless of income right? So, if the average guy has 18 percent of his salary taken for child support…why shouldn’t that apply to the rich?

It’s only excessive amounts because in their world…everything is excessive.

Again, my blog law degree fails me and I’m not sure about percentages

By Jasmine

November 10, 2006 12:02 PM | Link to this

MsUnderstood, It shouldn’t be harder to divorce, it should be harder to marry. Counseling, financial, etc. should be required. A thorough health screening should be done. Background checks, credit report, etc.

All the cards should be put on the table. Then, a waiting period…

By Jasmine

November 10, 2006 12:06 PM | Link to this

Skegee, need I say more? Who are you hosting for Homecoming? I must say, on my few visits to Tuskegee, the hospitality was great! I have many good friends who attended the school and it is a great university. I support all our wonderful HBCUs.

By JustMe

November 10, 2006 12:09 PM | Link to this

Jasmine How easy is it gonna be to take 3 of Diddy’s seeds to the neighborhood Daycare? His status dictates that he children will require upon his demand I’m sure, a certain level of privacy and security. Since she’s obviously not the only one with a household name, why should all of her earned income be the only income used to maintain what his status dictates is necessary moreso than hers?

By Darkbeauty w/Dimples

November 10, 2006 12:09 PM | Link to this

Jazz But I don’t think that the laws are preventing men from getting married….only the divorce rate is up…I don’t think there is a decline in people getting married…just in the age in which they do it. But I might need Musings stats to back this up LOL

If a man wants to get married AND married to you…he will! He won’t blame it on the divorce laws and child support laws….

By Jasmine

November 10, 2006 12:10 PM | Link to this

Justme, she should be required to provide for herself. If she only can contribute 5% of the support for her children, she should do so. If she has a daughter in her next birth, she should be a role model to show her daughter that even when their is sufficient funds a woman still needs to be self-supporting. She should have some pride.

Darkbeauty w/Dimples, why should the mother always have custody? We know that there are fathers who are good parents, yet they make up about 5% of custodial parents. Why? Because the family court still holds onto gender bias.

By Darkbeauty w/Dimples

November 10, 2006 12:11 PM | Link to this

Jazz/MissU I agree with you both…it should be harder to get married AND divorced!

By NCgirlfromATL

November 10, 2006 12:12 PM | Link to this

Dark So,if you have a bizness and get married…a prenup will say that ownership remains with you? But they can still go after your earnings from the bizness right?

Depends on how you write it. You can agree to leave those earnings alone. I’ve seen some written that way.

Jasmine So, a woman who has a high school education, bore 3 kids, and didn’t work during a 20 year marriage should just fend for herself? I don’t think so. The good thing about NC is that we have fault-based alimony. So, if you cheat, and you make more money, you WILL be paying alimony. If you are the dependent spouse and you cheat, you gets nuttin! Oh, and it’s not gender based (NC). I’ve had plenty of female clients who had to pony up on the alimony and child support.

if the man can provide the children more than a modest living, why shouldn’t he get custody? The reasons why are vast, and none of them usually have anything to do w/ whether or not he CAN be a good parent. Judges are looking at the history of the marriage. Who was the primary caregiver during the marriage? Who is the child more attached to? Do both parents work? Does one parent travel for his/her job? You’ve got to stop looking at this as a male/female issue. I know everyone on this blog believes that women benefit from marriage and divorce. The truth is, no one benefits. No one wins. Especially the kids. You give up 1/2 of your stuff, 1/2 of your lifestyle, and 1/2 of your time with your kids, whether male or female, and then tell me that you’ve won anything.

By Jasmine

November 10, 2006 12:13 PM | Link to this

Justme, Diddy provides everything for his children. So, why did she need her child support upped from $5,000 to almost $30,000? Why? For herself…

By JustMe

November 10, 2006 12:18 PM | Link to this

^5 DB w/D

By Jasmine

November 10, 2006 12:25 PM | Link to this

Many men feel enslaved in marriage and then they are slaves in divorce too.

More and more, men don’t see the advantage of marrying. The number of single women has increased. Many women must choose either to remain childless or to raise children by themselves.

And after a divorce, many men are reluctant to remarry due to the financial pull the ex-spouse has on their wallet. Plus, they are reluctant to give that kind of control to anyone else.

Let’s face it…the advantage of the modern marriage is with the woman. So, my sisters, if you are not married, some of the blame lies with the establishment, the state, family court, and divorce and child support laws. Attorneys don’t want to change them because even if they practice in other areas of law, family law is their bread and butter. Plus, the divorce courts employ so many people, judges, attorneys, paralegals, court reporters, private investigators, guardian ad litems, psychologists/psychiatrists, social workers, the list goes on…

By JustMe

November 10, 2006 12:25 PM | Link to this

**Jasmine I do not disagree with her fending for herself, she has made her name in her trade as well. But what she has made of herself is only a fraction of what he had made of himself, and being that they are his children (twin girls on the way), he’s gonna expect certain thing of her for his children. He should ensure that living up to his standards does not disrupt what she can provide on her income alone. THe ordered amount does seem excessive, but I have no idea what expectations he has for his children, so while it ma seem excessive, it may be in line with what is really required to maintain a lifestyle dictatd by his fame.

By MsUnderstood

November 10, 2006 12:25 PM | Link to this

@ Jasmine If it’s harder to divorce then you will think tice before you married again i am standing firm on my statement to many damm!!! excuses to divorce anyway.

By Chink

November 10, 2006 12:27 PM | Link to this

Hey Everyone

Been in Oregon (rains everyday)training coming back to ATL today :)…I hope all is good.

Don’t really think much of celebrity relationships but I am disapppointed when they fail especially when they seem so good for each other.

Have a good weekend!

By Darkbeauty w/Dimples

November 10, 2006 12:29 PM | Link to this

NC I know everyone on this blog believes that women benefit from marriage and divorce. The truth is, no one benefits.

And if you come from a broken family then you’ve lived this….

By Raqi

November 10, 2006 12:29 PM | Link to this

Speaking of celebrity hype:

A spokeswoman for Denise Richards blamed aggressive paparazzi for a run-in that prompted the Hollywood actress to toss a pair of laptops from a balcony, causing minor injuries to two elderly women….Royal Canadian Mounted Police were called to the scene as a precaution and the case was soon closed. No charges were filed against Ms. Richards.

It is disgusting what these people can get away with. I guarantee you if that had been an ordinary person like you and me, we would be staring into the face of a million lawsuit right about now. And I don’t know about yall but I don’t have a million dollars and it’s funny how people go after the ones who don’t have crazy amounts of money.

I don’t think I told yall this before, but last year when my son hurt his head, he was playing soccer in a neighbors yard and he made a quick turn tripped on the edge of the driveway and he fell back hitting his head against the car leaving a dent. Do you know the neighbor wanted me to pay for the dent and for a rental? So my sis, the attorney, told me to ask her how much was she planning to give me for allowing kids in her care to play in an “unsafe” environment and her neglecting to inform me about the incident at the time it happened. I didn’t find out about it until after my son became ill, then she wanted me to pay for the damage. The cost of the repair wouldn’t have affected my finances, but she could not have really thought I was going to pay for it.

By JustMe

November 10, 2006 12:30 PM | Link to this

NCATL You done said a mouthful!

Jasmine Like I said in a previous post, I really have no idea or desire to know, but being the child of a celebrity, politician etc requires more security and privacy than my son needs. I don’t have cameras following me around, but Diddy & Kim can’t hardly walk around in public like I do.

By Jasmine

November 10, 2006 12:35 PM | Link to this

NCgirlfromATL, It should be that way in every state. However, many judges still practice gender bias. I don’t look at it from a male/female point of view. I am only stating what I see in family court in Georgia. Gender bias is alive and well.

By NCgirlfromATL

November 10, 2006 12:38 PM | Link to this

So, why did she need more child support? To support herself because she doesn’t want to work for a living. She is basically a surrogate living by her womb.

This is interesting, b/c just yesterday, the men of the blog were arguing that if the guy is a deadbeat dad, he shouldn’t be put in jail for not providing ANY support for his child. And the women should know when they laid down w/ him that he’s a deadbeat. By your logic, Diddy should have known when he laid w/ Kim that she was a “surrogate living by her womb,” and shouldn’t get anymore of a free pass than the deadbeat.

I just don’t get why people think that a child should suffer just b/c the parents are trifflin. Yes, each parent should be made to pay his/her fair share of CS based on their incomes. So, given that Kim is unlikely to ever make as much as Diddy, even if she were to go out and get a job today, (and don’t forget she was a model first, so she wasn’t exactly poor to begin with), why should the children not share in the lifestyle of both parents? Yes, I know there are those parents who will spend the CS money on weed, weaves and rims. But, at the end of the day, the child still needs a place to sleep, food to eat, and clothes to wear. People kill me with the mentality of I’m not giving her a dime when it’s the kids who end up suffering in the long run. And trust me, this isn’t confined to any one race…trifflin is universal.

Oh and Jasmine just so you know, as long as the sacrament of marriage exists, so will divorce. Divorce lawyers don’t change laws…your ELECTED legislators do. Place your blame in the right place, please.

By MsUnderstood

November 10, 2006 12:42 PM | Link to this

@Jasmine you are now the spokeswoman for the man LOL

By Darkbeauty w/Dimples

November 10, 2006 12:45 PM | Link to this

Divorce lawyers don’t change laws…your ELECTED legislators do.

And we ALL know that the majority of these lawmakers are white males who are financially successful….so it’s the men who are doing it to themselves….not us!

Thanks for bringing that point up NC!!

By MsUnderstood

November 10, 2006 12:49 PM | Link to this

NC Girl

Well said Lil Ms.Johnny Cochran LOL

By JustMe

November 10, 2006 12:52 PM | Link to this

NCATL I wish I had known my sons donor would end up this way.

By Jasmine

November 10, 2006 12:53 PM | Link to this

Few people outside of the divorce industry know about divorce litigation. Those who do, know about the blatant gender bias…

Justme, he provides everything for her, so why did she need additional funds, so she doesn’t have to work. Simple as that…She is his baby machine…He doesn’t need a wife. She will only take from him.

By JustCurious

November 10, 2006 12:55 PM | Link to this

Me thinks Jasmine IS REALLY a dude, posting under a woman’s moniker..hhmmmm!!

By JustMe

November 10, 2006 12:58 PM | Link to this

Jasmine how do you know what he provides for her? JustAskin’

By Skegee (formerly SheSpeaks formerly Skegee)

November 10, 2006 12:59 PM | Link to this

Jasmine…I’m not hosting anyone this year…a lot of alumni live in Atlanta. I love all HBCU’s as well.

On topic: I believe, after a divorce, a lot of women want custody of the children only so they can get the child support. I’ve seen these same kids who are latch-key, their hair isn’t done, clothes in bad shape and with no extra curricular activities. Child support shouldn’t go to pay for utilities and car notes, those things would be necessary even if you didn’t have a child. If you’re having a problem paying for the necessities, let the father or the financially stable parent take the children.

At any rate…I’m out. I need to do my hair for this weekend. I’ll come back on Monday and read the comments…

By JustCurious

November 10, 2006 12:59 PM | Link to this

So what if it’s gender biased. H3ll, who carries that fetus in the womb? Who has to endure 9 mths. of pregnancy? Who goes thru h3ll and back to deliver? WOMAN!!!

Damm right, it SHOULD be biased!!!!

Now debate that!!!!

By Jasmine

November 10, 2006 01:08 PM | Link to this

NCgirlfromATL , many of the elected officials are “attorneys” so we can blame them. The elected officials get pressure from the women’s groups since most voters are women, especially in the Black community where many of the men are incarcerated. The male elected officials don’t want to be portrayed as anti-woman or anti-child so they go overboard.

JustMe, P. Diddy provides for all of his children’s needs outside of the child support. If she modeled once, she can do it again instead of sitting down. But that is his problem…

MsUnderstood, no, I am a woman who can see things from a man’s point of view. I have been in family court with my male relatives. They can have all the character witnesses in the world, but if the woman cries and lies, who do you think the courts believe? I have some female friends who now see what they did to their exes because now their older children have chosen to live with their father and the women are paying child support. I just think things should be based on the character of the person and not the gender.

By Jasmine

November 10, 2006 01:10 PM | Link to this

Raqi, those women should sue the heck out of Denise Richards.

By UT96

November 10, 2006 01:12 PM | Link to this

Darkbeauty With Dimples, Bill and Hillary Clinton? They are married in name only. It’s no secret they live seperate lives and are only married as a business arrangement.

Bill and Camille Cosby-now there is a great marriage.

By Jasmine

November 10, 2006 01:12 PM | Link to this

Raqi, I wouldn’t let my son play with her children nor let them come over to your house. I bet if her children were hurt at your house, you can bet she would try to sue you.

By MsUnderstood

November 10, 2006 01:12 PM | Link to this

@ Just Curious you are crazzyy!! Hey where is erybody at.

By Darkbeauty w/Dimples

November 10, 2006 01:14 PM | Link to this

Just You crazy for your 12.59 post!!

Skegee did you ever consider that the children may be in that condition because the mother is a single mother trying to do it all…

What happens if you are the more financially stable, but you’re still struggling??

And child support SHOULD go to utilities and car notes…using your logic…CS shouldn’t go to food or lodging either…you need those things as well…

By JustMe

November 10, 2006 01:15 PM | Link to this

Skeegee Do you have children?

JustCurious You sick widdit!

By MsUnderstood

November 10, 2006 01:15 PM | Link to this

@Jasmine

read the post carefully i didn’t say you wasn’t, i said you are now the spokeswoman for the man.

By Tazzee

November 10, 2006 01:17 PM | Link to this

Jasmine I agree that the divorce and child support laws are unfair. But I don’t subscribe to the theory that marriage benefits the woman more than the man. Divorce does, but not marriage. Additionally, I wouldn’t push for a change in said laws as a reason to get a man to marry me. I may be in la,la land, but if I get married, I plan for it to be forever and any man I marry would think so too.

Finally, this whole thing about a woman benefitting more from the divorce doesn’t apply to me because more than likely I will be the one making the most money and I have no desire to have children. Therefore should we get divorc