By Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a closet FULL of T-shirts)

January 2, 2007 08:44 AM | Link to this

I can’t comment much about this other than to say that my first/second dates are almost always scripted. I go into every first date with a plan. I usually meet the lady at a nice restaurant OTP, talk, eat slow, try to “bring her out” to get to know her a little deeper than the normal social chit chat. I try to be totally transparent myself so the lady will see that I am not afraid to be candid and honest. If I like the lady and want to “test the waters”, I will ask if she would like to drive into the city and go somewhere like the Cheesecake Factory for dessert and more conversation (usually I do this when the server asks if we want dessert…I will almost always say something like “actually I was about to ask this lovely lady if she would consider driving into the city for dessert”, and turn to her and say “would you”. If the weather is nice, I put the top down on my convertible and find any excuse to laugh and smile. If there is still chemistry building, I suggest that I am having a great time and really enjoying her company, but it is up to her, does she want to go back to her car or just drive around for awhile looking at the lights of ATL (I came from a small town, and have never lost my enjoyment and awe of how the skyline in ATL looks at night). Eventually I take her back to her car and ALWAYS kiss the lady good night, nothing heavy, just to see how she will react…and tell her I would like to see her again if she would consider it. I then follow with a call or an email (usually a short email the next morning) letting her know I enjoyed her company and would like to get to know her better. At any point in this process, the lady might pull back and that is her right…but I weigh that in my decision to call back or not call back.

I really do follow this ‘script’ almost every time. It answers my initial questions, i.e. is she interesting, does she seem to feel chemistry too, is she pretty in all kinds of settings (okay, I admit I am as shallow as the next guy about looks, although I like the natural girl next door look, not the ‘Glamour shots’ look).

Having a ‘plan’ is always smart. The second date is totally different, maybe wear shorts (when it is warmer) and go to Stone Mtn for a picnic on a blanket (serves two purposes, 1) change of settings so much less formal, 2) get to check out her legs LOL).

Yup, ‘HAVE A PLAN’.

By 2007's Demi

January 2, 2007 08:54 AM | Link to this

Hey Wise welcome to the second day of two thousand’n’seven.

Is it just me or is Randyt sounding more and more lika modernize player, LOL

Good morning All

By Dr. Kym Relationship Expert

January 2, 2007 08:58 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All-Happy New Year!!!

Dating Expectations hmmmm

I have one that I dont see as unrealistic and would think it is universal. Say what you mean..mean what you say.. or to put it another way “Dont write checks your tail(family show) cant cash.”

The more I date and talk about dating the more amazed I am at the level of dishonest(maybe to harsh—naw) men and women will go to get laid, get a free meal, etc.

You meet Guy A cute, funny, interesting convo, he loves going to the museum, plays, blah blah. So you suggest doing some of these things.

Dateline High Museum-Guy A doesnt know a watercolor from a photograph He thinks Romare Bearden is a wine.. So we ask Guy A why would you say you like the muesum when the closest thing to fine art you have seen is the black woman with the afro riding a tiger. Well I wanted to impress you..Okay moron you have left an impression alright. An yes gentlemen I know the reverse can be said for women.

Just be yourself. If your idea night is a Blockbuster movie, pizza and Kool-Aid just say so…that way your date knows exactly what interest you really have.

By cool breeze

January 2, 2007 09:16 AM | Link to this

The first mistake is the idea that there are rules that need to be followed. The idea of any rules needs to be thrown out. The only expectation people need to worry about when dating is having a good time and that’s it. The first time me and a girl go out I usually have a plan but that only comes after talking with her on the phone and seeing what her interests are and what she might enjoy doing and I’ll take her to a place that I enjoy eating. After the first couple dates I’ll ask her more of what she feels like doing because most times I probably don’t care what we do if we do anything at all. Not important what we are doing but who I am with. Women do seem to carry a lot of expectations that are out of line with reality and those expectations get women into trouble and can cause them to miss out on great things. When I meet a girl I don’t put any of my stuff/expectations on here where she has to be/live up to anything. I just want her to be herself and who she is because in the end that’s the girl I am going to appreciate. You are offbase with thinking that how a guy plan’s a date is how he thinks about you. Why put thoughts into a guy’s head without asking him. You don’t know what he’s thinking.. Girls can really suck the fun out of fun and relationships by all the expectations and requirements they put on guy’s instead of having fun and enjoying things while they are happening

By Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a closet FULL of T-shirts)

January 2, 2007 09:17 AM | Link to this

Demi

A ‘player’…surely not. LOL

By SeanJohnson

January 2, 2007 09:37 AM | Link to this

Sup Blog..Happy 07….Co signing CoolBreeze’s comment…the only expectations should be to have a good time on the date and respected. This is the MAJOR difference in the way men and women view dateing and why dating for women at times arent as successful as men..High expections lead to let downs.

By kinderbabe

January 2, 2007 09:37 AM | Link to this

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

I think that it’s good to have expectations. It would seem weird not to have expectations in dating especially when we have expectations about other less trivial things. even when you go to the store, you expect to find what you’re looking for, lol. having a plan is good.. it shows that the person put time in thought into seeing you. forget that go w/the flow stuff…that’s not appropriate especially on the first series of dates.

there is a fine balance between revamping expectations and settling. sometimes people may think they’re expectations are too high and “lower them” in order to get the attention they want. that’s why it’s necessary to recognize the intent of revamping the expectations…are they really unreasonable?? or are you tired of beign single?? lol

By Sexione...back to reality and sexier than ever

January 2, 2007 09:41 AM | Link to this

Happy New Year Everyone!!!!

I hope you all had a joyous holiday season. I’ve missed you guys so I had to check in. Still trying to catch up, so I’ll check back a little later.

Heeeyyy 2007 Demi…is this the new and improved version? lol

By D Dub of the ATL version 3.0

January 2, 2007 09:59 AM | Link to this

To know D Dub of the ATL is to love D Dub of the ATL

“Say Anything” and the song “Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel could be an entire day’s conversation in itself…

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLES!

One of my many policies include the following: “If you don’t set any expectations, you can’t be disappointed.”

While it’s generally a good idea to have an idea of what you’re going to do on a date, expecting to be wowed, dazzled, and swept off one’s feet is indeed silly, and childish. I’m not saying that it should be banned or something like that, but having the expectation to have x, y, and z happen over the evening is about as silly as men expecting to rabbit dance with the woman at the end of the night.

Going with the flow is a lost art. My life experience has taught me that when I force something to happen, its usually not what I really wanted, and I end up sorry for not waiting for whatever it was I was supposed to receive. Dating is no different. Expectations do nothing but get everyone in trouble and away from the bigger goal - getting to know one another and possibly moving into a great relationship… drop the expectations and just live a little.

By binford

January 2, 2007 10:15 AM | Link to this

D Dub of the ATL version 3.0 , good job. That about says it all. Unfortunately culture (tv, movies) corrupts what should just be a simple good time, with no expectations.

By Pharress_Beuller a.k.a. "Thelonius Alouisious Jones"

January 2, 2007 10:20 AM | Link to this

Happy New Year Bloggers!!!!

Still recovering from NYE parties & looking forward to a GREAT year!

Well, I’ve always felt like expectiations can really lead to let downs. I stay away from them, especially on first dates. I never want to build a woman up to what I expect her to be or do before really getting to know her. That’s a recipe for a let down.

I do agree with having a plan though, we can wing it later on if we vibe.

Hope you all had a good holiday season…it’s good to be back!

By MusingLee 07' Edition

January 2, 2007 10:32 AM | Link to this

Morn’in All,

Happy New Year

The 1st-3rd dates should always be planned. After that ask her to plan the next three dates. After all she should be responsible for having her own good time also. Randyt I’m agreeing with demi, you sounded a little player like right there….It’s ok to be a player. LOLOLOLOL

By JustMe

January 2, 2007 10:42 AM | Link to this

Happy New Year All

I agree that expectations lead to let downs, however, if we never have any expectations at all then are we agreeing to being ok with whatever? I think that reasonable expectations should be set, nothing too over the top, but I’m not a bottom of the barrel type girl either. If I agree to spend time with you, I do expect some things like 1) You will show up on time. 2) You will act like a gentleman. 3) You will treat me like a lady. These expectations do not change be it Date 1 or Date 100. If this is too much to ask……. keepitmovin’

By JustMe

January 2, 2007 10:44 AM | Link to this

anybody see Wide Spread Panic this weekend?

By Mo

January 2, 2007 10:46 AM | Link to this

Sup Bloggers! Happy New Year!! Totally agree with RandyT and MusingLee. Dates should have plans initially and if all goes well then you can just hang out. The getting to know phase can be ruined without a plan! Kinderbabe did we have a great birthday?

By NCgirlfromATL

January 2, 2007 10:47 AM | Link to this

Happy New Year Blog Fam!

I don’t think it’s possible to not have expectations when you’re dating. That doesn’t mean the expectation is for the relationship to be long-term and leading to marriage. For some people it’s just to have someone to have regular s3x with or, someone to just be a date for all seasons, but no committment. For others w/ more nefarious intentions, it’s to have someone help them pay their bills or make their baby-daddy/mama jealous.

But, I agree w/ having a plan at least for the first few dates. Otherwise, you appear to be indecisive, and no one likes that. Even if the plan is to be somewhat spontaneous, having some starting point makes more sense than doing like Wise said, and sitting in the car going, where do you want to eat? I don’t know, whereever you want to go… UGH!! I hate that! lol!

By MusingLee 07' Edition

January 2, 2007 10:56 AM | Link to this

Expectations are like azzes…Everybody has one, and if you’re married you have two….LOLOLOLOL…hahahaha

By Reality Check

January 2, 2007 10:57 AM | Link to this

Well, yeah, a woman’s gonna have expectations- real or imaginery. How can you blame women when most children stories little girls hear are Cinderella and Snow White?

By Atl Lady

January 2, 2007 11:09 AM | Link to this

I believe some expectations are good. You have to have an idea of what you’re looking for in a person. Sometimes, it’s not always apparent in a telephone conversation. If I’m looking for certain qualities, spending time with that person no matter if we’re doing dinner and a movie, going to a game, quiet evening at home, or at the amusement park is going to tell me alot. Do we have chemistry? Does he enjoy cultural things or just pretending? How does his faith play into our relationship?How does he treat me in public and private? How does he react when we bump into people he knows or I know on the street? I maybe drifting off the subject a touch, but it all gels together in the end.

By JustMe

January 2, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this

I am abouut to attempt a feat never before tried by JustMe I will attempt to move a guy from the FZ to a starting position……. After declining several dates, then finally taking in a movie the day after X-mas, and declining a few more dates, I have decided to try. I asked him to set up something for us tonight and told him what time I would be home from work. What should I expect?

By Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a closet FULL of T-shirts)

January 2, 2007 11:12 AM | Link to this

@ Musing and Demi

The key to my ‘plan’ is to remember which one I said what to. Can be in the dilema of having to do some serious ‘tap dancing’ to try to talk myself out of a jam if I happen to get the names and nights confused (“oh, you went to [fill in the blank] with someone else, and took HER to the Cheesecake Factory too, huh”. Then the dreaded ‘20 questions’ come. Can be a bit tense trying to weather that storm. Have to be very careful, probably a good idea to keep notes so I don’t get confused. LOL

By SexyLeggs

January 2, 2007 11:14 AM | Link to this

Happy New Year my fellow bloogers. I haven’t been on a date yet, but I will most definitely have the same expectation as Wise Diva. Have plan. I have a “die hard” person calling me trying to get me to go out at night. My antenna is blaring. He knows I have a 12 year old daughter, but only ask to pay for a babysitter and go out at night, or better yet can he creep over after she’s asleep. If anyboby is going to make a booty call it will be ME. What’s wrong with a daytime date????

By No Longer Lurking

January 2, 2007 11:15 AM | Link to this

Hello blog, Longtime lurker, first time posting.

I feel that expectations for dating are not unreasonable, but there is a such thing as unreasonable expectations. As you would expect a nice hairdo from a new hairdresser or taxes correctly done from a from a new accountant, a person expects certain things from a date. What those things are depend on the person. Expectations are more of a reflection of those that set them rather those that fail to meet them. Ladies, if your expectations are not consistently being met, then maybe you are going to Supercuts and getting upset when you ‘do is messed up. Gentlemen, if you are consisently not meeting expectations, then maybe it is time to upgrade from H&R block and get a better return.

For me, I would not have had a serious consideration for a woman if they did not have expectations. Upholding your beliefs and values against adversity (sitting at home on Sat. night) shows character and says you are not willing to settle. That is a woman I would like to build something with.

By MusingLee 07' Edition

January 2, 2007 11:23 AM | Link to this

Expectations

I once went out with this young Woman many years back…I expected to meet her at the restaurant on time….She wasn’t….I expected her to order a moderatly priced meal…She didn’t….I expected her not to finish the 12oz steak she ordered….She did (very quickly)…..I expected me to finish all my food…I didn’t (plate of pasta)…I didn’t expect after eating a large steak that she could eat dessert…She did…I expected to rabbit dance (for some strange reason)…I didn’t…I expected a call back the following day (seeing as how I spent my college cheese)….She didn’t…I expect she was just hungry and really wanted someone to take her to that restaurant…She was!

By Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a closet FULL of T-shirts)

January 2, 2007 11:36 AM | Link to this

On a more serious note, I agree with the fact that we all have expectations going on a date. It does not have to be an expectation of an all night ‘sexathon’. The expectation can be, and should be, just to find out if there is enough interest in both parties and perhaps at least a touch of ‘chemistry’ to warrant further contact. I personally believe that communicating your appreciation and complimenting things you notice that you can be sincere about is never a bad idea if you do it lightly and honestly. If the lady is attractive, then toward the end of the evening you should tell her, but do it subtly, if you think she is interesting and/or intriguing, fascinating,whatever, tell her, but do it subly and do not lay it on too thick. A light touch is good, why get heavy on the first few dates?

By lovelyliz

January 2, 2007 11:38 AM | Link to this

By SexyLeggs

January 2, 2007 11:39 AM | Link to this

MusingLee wassup…that was funny.

By JustMe

January 2, 2007 11:41 AM | Link to this

Musing Happy New Year! You expectation description is why I believe that it is really important for people to converse with each other before hane. If you had talked to her for more than 10 minutes, you would have known that she was a starving college student (like you were), and that she was not really interested in getting to know Musing, but more so in having a nice meal that she could brag to her broke college friends about. You may not have gotten that call back if she picked up on your dayum she greedy as he!! vibes, so she then tells her friends that the meal was the bomb, desert was spectacular, but Musingwas kinda moody, and he wanted some booty.

By Dr. Kym Relationship Expert

January 2, 2007 11:51 AM | Link to this

Dr Kym is expecting the following…

Jim Mora fired-Expected

Dennis Green Fired-Expected

Bill Cowher to retire-Expected but soooo not happy about it.

Michael Jordan to get divorce-Not expected.

But the new AirJordans will now be known as Juanita’s -Expected because there is no pre-nup.

By MusingLee 07' Edition

January 2, 2007 11:53 AM | Link to this

SexyLeggs It wasn’t at that time….

Musing: What in the hellz is she doing ordering that big’azz steak???? Dayummmmmmmm…She ain’t that joint too. Ishhhhhh, I betta get some play from her hungry’azz.

Hey JustMe LOLOLOL…and shut up! hahahahahaha

By 2007's Demi

January 2, 2007 11:54 AM | Link to this

So we ask Guy A why would you say you like the muesum when the closest thing to fine art you have seen is the black woman with the afro riding a tiger

LOL funny funny!!

Heeeey JustMe, kym’s post had m thinking of you

Randyt Them t-shirts left you smoooooth but cold as ice!!! do you thing bruh

High expections leads to let downs.

Dayum SJ, well said

Heeey sexione’n’KB And yeah the mature verison…LOL

MusingLee 07’ Edition Your name reads lika Madden game…Has EA Sport offer you a deal yet?

By MusingLee 07’ Edition

January 2, 2007 11:59 AM | Link to this

demi Happy NewYear…I found this in the MLB trash can with your name on it.

Now handing demi a crinkled up players card with his photo and signature

By 2007's Demi

January 2, 2007 12:01 PM | Link to this

JustMe Don’t expect anything, just do your part (by showing up) and see if the brother comes prepared…This is his Allstar moment. Either he shines like Jesus or fall from grace like lucifer…The choice is his.

By 2007's Demi

January 2, 2007 12:05 PM | Link to this

JustMe Don’t expect anything, just do your part (by showing up) and see if the brother comes prepared…This is his Allstar moment. Either he shines like Jesus or fall from grace like lucifer…The choice is his.

By MusingLee 07’ Edition

January 2, 2007 12:11 PM | Link to this

No Longer Lurking Welcome to the Danger Zone….Please step into the line to your right and pick out your blog name, as we have too many “Lurkers” and “Longtimes”…..Available name choices are “Scooter Skittles”, “Wondering Allison”, and “RC Cola”….It’s 2007, I hope we get more bloggers with ideas we all can ridicule.

By Pharress_Beuller a.k.a. "Thelonius Alouisious Jones"

January 2, 2007 12:11 PM | Link to this

What up Doc,

Michael Jordan to get divorce-Not expected. - That didn’t surprise me.

But the new AirJordans will now be known as Juanita’s -Expected because there is no pre-nup. - That did!

Yep, the revenue breakdown will now be:

Mike gets money from the left shoe.

Juanita gets money from the right shoe.

By Dr. Kym aka Rested and Relax

January 2, 2007 12:18 PM | Link to this

LOL Pharress All number 23 merchandise will read property of Juanita Jordan.

By SexyLeggs

January 2, 2007 12:23 PM | Link to this

@Musing don’t get me wrong, I know it wasn’t funny at the time, but I visually placed myself in that restaurant watching the two of you. Especially her woofing down that steak. I saw the wheels in your head spinning saying WTF is this shyt….it’s mostly good to laugh after the fact…

By Nike Personnel not MusingLee

January 2, 2007 12:25 PM | Link to this

It has come to my attention that Michael Jordon will be divorcing…In accordance with these changes, the jumping Jordon insignia will be replaced by a jumping Woman holding a purse….as well as, the left shoe will be styled by Jordan and the right shoe will be styled by Juanita’s hair dresser (God help us all)….All proceeds from the new Air Jordans will go to Juanita, but all shoe string sales will go to Jordan, which he will then donate to the Casino of his choice. That is all.

By MusingLee 07’ Edition

January 2, 2007 12:27 PM | Link to this

SexyLeggs It’s funny as all get out now….Sometimes I just sit and laugh at the young stupid me…hahahahahaha…Someday I’ll look forward to laughing at the older stupid me. LOL

By B-in-it

January 2, 2007 12:31 PM | Link to this

If I’m understanding Wise Diva correctly, she is basically asking that you put some thought into our first date, even if you’re asking me to go to Waffle House. Show me that you are wearing the pants.

As in all areas of life, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

By No Longer Lurking -

January 2, 2007 12:33 PM | Link to this

MusingLee, thank you for the welcome. Although you chose appetizing names, i think I will chose Chullato because Cablasian was taken by tiger

By JustMe

January 2, 2007 12:35 PM | Link to this

Heeeeeeeeey Demi

Thanks for the advice Demi you are right this will be a sink or swim situation. I told him I am not sure I want to do this….. we have been friends for a few years now, and I would much rather have him as a true friend than an Ex-SO. If things don’t work out, our friendship will never be the same again. sigh

By JustMe

January 2, 2007 12:39 PM | Link to this

Dayum How many pairs of Jordan’s did I buy for Christmas? 1….,2…… dayum!

By kinderbabe

January 2, 2007 12:49 PM | Link to this

what up?? musing, justme, demi, randy, pharress, seanj…the whole crew

hey mo my birthday was cool. my favorite part was getting together for lunch w/my great friends on saturday. i just love pappadeaux! we really had a good time. i could have passed on the party on the 31st. can you believe that people were actually at a new year’s eve party in jeans??? lol i must be gettin’ old…lol

By Jake

January 2, 2007 12:49 PM | Link to this

What up Blog: Happy New year

Pouring out a little for MJ, don’t be suprised if you see a couple more of these.

On topic: Expectations are a double edged sword. Cool to have some, but don’t go overboard. Women get ahead of themselves with unrealistic ones, men don’t have them. We hope, but don’t expect anything. Hope we not wastin good time and money on a N.A.N.C.I.E.

A lady that provided No Azz Nor Conversation I Enjoyed…LOL

Hey Sexione kisses and hugs

By JustMe

January 2, 2007 01:02 PM | Link to this

Kinder Hey Naw! Glad you enjoyed your B-Day.

Jake Hello.

Blog Question Has anyone heard from Blue Kollar I haven’t seen him post in a few weeks.

Kym whatchoo do to Blue?

By kinderbabe

January 2, 2007 01:10 PM | Link to this

thanks justme what did you do for new year’s?

By Jake

January 2, 2007 01:23 PM | Link to this

Hey JustMe how how is JustMe doing today.

By Life101

January 2, 2007 01:25 PM | Link to this

test

By SeanJohnson

January 2, 2007 01:25 PM | Link to this

I seriously doubt Juanita will take Mike to the cleaners…he married her for a reason…she knew the deal from the jump..Plus the kids are grown..i thnk maybe she wants to marry the dude she has been seeing ..because i know she had someone too..

By Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a closet FULL of T-shirts)

January 2, 2007 01:32 PM | Link to this

Demi Re: Randyt Them t-shirts left you smoooooth but cold as ice!!! do you thing bruh

Not me Bruh, I’m a hopeless (or hopeful) romantic. Just learned from experience (read ‘many t-shirts’) what works and what doesn’t.

Actually, right now I am in a relationship with lady that is awesome. If I had a checklist of everything I wanted in a woman, she has a check beside almost all, and far more than any lady I have ever been out with. We’ve even brought up the dreaded ‘M’ word (relationship moved fast, keeps my head spinning), but I did kind of squelch that real quick (actually not opposed to it, just have been single so long I kind of like my space…more than I realized).

I have to admit though (here is a candid moment, or maybe I am in touch with my feminine side), even after all of these years, the one thing I still miss from marriage is that sense of comfort and security that comes from just waking up with someone in that king side bed beside me. One advantage of marriage would be that I wouldn’t have to try to drive home at 3:00 AM without falling asleep anymore (is almost an hour drive each way). It is a good thing the car knows the way home by itself so I sometimes nap while I am driving, but I am concerned it might decide to take a sudden detour through one of those concrete barriers on Hwy 400. LOL. I need more caffeine obviously.

By Pharress_Beuller a.k.a. "Thelonius Alouisious Jones"

January 2, 2007 01:39 PM | Link to this

What up Kinder…Gentlerbabe, happy belated!

By kinderbabe

January 2, 2007 01:45 PM | Link to this

i agree sj i don’t think that it’ll be a messy divorce. they’re just ready to move on and stop faking it for the kids. time for a new chapter in both of their lives…

randy that’s good to know that some men actually value security, lol…at least the mature ones anyway.:)

By Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a closet FULL of T-shirts)

January 2, 2007 01:46 PM | Link to this

**By MusingLee 07’ Edition

January 2, 2007 11:23 AM | Link to this

Expectations**

I feel you on this one. I remember my college experience was with this chick who loved ‘Singapore Slings’ (tastes like a fruit drink with the kiss of a cobra, about half alcohol if mixed correctly). I saved my money for weeks and one day I invited her down to Ruby Tuesday’s (the original on the strip in Knoxville by the way). I thought I could buy her a couple of ‘slings’, take her back to my room, and…well you know. She drank SIX of those suckers and was fine (at about $6 a piece which was A ‘haill’ of a lot of money back then for a starving college student). I drank three and could hardly walk and she just kept on downing those Slings without even getting fazed at all.

Not only did I not get anything, I think I had to survive on cheese crackers and an occasional Krystal or two for the next two weeks because I had spent all my food money…one of my early t-shirts LOL.

By kinderbabe

January 2, 2007 01:49 PM | Link to this

hey pharress! thanks for the birthday wish.:)

yeah demi it’s all about the mature version in ‘07 since i’m officially “in my thirties” lol

By JustMe

January 2, 2007 01:51 PM | Link to this

Kinder I spent 12/30 and 31 working at Philips Arena at the Wide Spread Panic lets just say I had a great time watching the concert goers having a Funky Good Time!

Jake Just Me is doing well. How are you doing?

Randy It’s good you are not opposed to the “M”, but do give it ample time to make sure both of you are ready for…… +(drum roll please)* having less closet space :-) You’ll have to 86 a lot of T-shirts, never mind not having to drive home at 3 AM :-)

By Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a closet FULL of T-shirts)

January 2, 2007 02:01 PM | Link to this

Hi Just
Thanks for the reminder that I have a closet full of ‘t-shirts’ I will need to get rid of. Hmmmmmm, wonder if I can get a tax writeoff by donating those ‘t-shirts’ to Goodwill. I sure paid a ‘haile’ of a lot money for them (that number could darn near wipe out my tax bill for 2007 if I could write them off at full value) and they should be worth something to somebody…LOL ;-).

By kinderbabe

January 2, 2007 02:03 PM | Link to this

i bet that was quite a time just. getting extra money is a great way to close out the year! i kinda wish i would have gone to the frankie beverly/kem concert on the 31st. maybe i’ll do that next year. i think they do that concert every year.

By Life101

January 2, 2007 02:03 PM | Link to this

For me, I would not have had a serious consideration for a woman if they did not have expectations. Upholding your beliefs and values against adversity (sitting at home on Sat. night) shows character and says you are not willing to settle. That is a woman I would like to build something with.

Well, I got dumped for having expectations and they were both reasonable and flexible… go figure!

By MusingLee 07' Edition

January 2, 2007 02:04 PM | Link to this

Randyt My condolences to the lost cash dude….LOLOLOLOL….I think about 80% of Women have gone out with a guy just to be feed on his dime….and 95% of dudes have taken a girl out hoping that her full belly would allow him to fill her “gordita”. Hahahahahahaha

By 2007's Demi

January 2, 2007 02:06 PM | Link to this

JustMe Whoa! That’s a tough one, but I say go for it…let one of my friends pull me out of friend zone…In 2 - 3 week her only two choices will be the courthouse or the altar…Since your friendship is firmly planted…His actions will determine the new relationship’s course…Starting tonight

Randyt I feel you…Playing games has become soooo obsolete

Musinglee, that aint mines!!!

*Demi is now seen fleeing from “Players card”

Imma put as much distant from the old me as possible…is it possible???!!!

By SeanJohnson

January 2, 2007 02:12 PM | Link to this

@ MusingBruceLee…u live and you learn on females feeding on your dime…I learned LONG ago..a female will go to a place they normally wouldnt go and order something they normally wouldnt order at your expence….I got smart…treat em like u would a kid…offer to take them to get some dessert..ice cream or a smoothie..anything sweet..and they will bite…lol

By Mo

January 2, 2007 02:13 PM | Link to this

Kinderbabe glad the birthday was cool! Let me just say Frankie B and MAZE and Kem were GREAT!! I couldnt have enjoyed myself anymore!!! And I went ALONE! I feel you on the jeans thing, though they are my favorite you do have to put them away from time to time!

By JustMe

January 2, 2007 02:13 PM | Link to this

Kinder IT really was a lot of fun…… all the folks were stoned and drunk, and the music was bearable , and oh yeah the money $$ I made it hand over fist……. I tipped my beverage staff $100+ between 5 guys.

Life 101 THink of it as the guy doing you a big favor (if you are a girl). THere is no point in continuing a “ship” when you know that your representative is fading fast. HE obviously (if you are a girl) was not up to your standards, and rather than waiting for you to dump him, he just moved on thereby doing you a HUGE FAVOR! It was surely a blessing in disguise!

Musing Gordita? How am I supposed to ever eat at Taco Bell again! YUCK!

By Sexione...back to reality and sexier than ever

January 2, 2007 02:16 PM | Link to this

Heeyyy Jake….hugs and kisses…how was your holiday?

RandyT…..sounds like my sister, or one chick I worked with a few yrs. ago (only she would have taken your goodies after all that)….could drink like a fish! That was a funny story!!!

I thought the divorce was already final. And yes, I’m sure she had someone too…….esp. considering all the off court playing he was doing. :-)

By MusingLee 07' Edition

January 2, 2007 02:23 PM | Link to this

SeanJ Man, I’ve long since wised up to the game…Never again was I giving out dinners to undesirables…LOLOL

Girl: I thought we were going to dinner?

Musing: This is dinner…I suggest you get the #8…With the 12 piece nuggets…You’re gonna need the extra energy for the walk home.

JustMe Sorry about that. How about I spray you down with my “special sauce, lettuce’tickle between your sesame seed buns”?!?!

By 2007's Demi

January 2, 2007 02:27 PM | Link to this

SeanJohnson, three weeks back I when lunch with a co-work (who’s a known penny pincher). tasting the waters I asks where would she like to eat. Her reply: Red Lobster or CheeseCake would do. I wanted to Slappa H’0!!

she doesn’t even go to those places with her friends for lunch

Oh, we lunch at Micky Ds.

By kinderbabe

January 2, 2007 02:28 PM | Link to this

glad to hear that you had a good time mo.

wow justme u guys really raked in the dough!! let me hold $20…lol

By C tha 1

January 2, 2007 02:28 PM | Link to this

Happy New Years Everybody!!

O.K. JustMe, exactly why are you moving a dude out of the FZ? Just curious.

By JustMe

January 2, 2007 02:29 PM | Link to this

Musing THe 07 Edition is off da chain I see - LOL

Thank, I’ll pass on the special sauce, lettuce and tickles. And stop looking at my buns you pervert!

By 2007's Demi

January 2, 2007 02:30 PM | Link to this

Well, I got dumped for having expectations and they were both reasonable and flexible… go figure!

For who you? LOL

By kinderbabe

January 2, 2007 02:31 PM | Link to this

musing u crazy!! lol how u gonna make somebody walk home? lol

By SeanJohnson

January 2, 2007 02:32 PM | Link to this

@ MusingBruceLee…funny come back at JustMe…tell her the special sauce is low carb and full of protein..lol

By Sexione

January 2, 2007 02:35 PM | Link to this

Musing…..eat up and be sure to clean your plate!! LMAO

Demi…the mature version, I like that!! keep up the good work, and yes, it is possible!!

Jake….a N.A.N.C.I.E? You are too much!!! lol

JustMe….girl, go for it. I like Demi’s 2:06 post to you. Enjoy, life is too short not to!!!

By Life101

January 2, 2007 02:35 PM | Link to this

JustMe > Female and old enough to know better…

By MusingLee 07' Edition

January 2, 2007 02:37 PM | Link to this

Dang C tha 1 just stormed through the skylight and dropped kicked JustMe’s FZ card play. I’m not psychic but I think he’s gonna say something like “If ol’boy really did it for you, he would have never been in the friend zone.”

By SeanJohnson

January 2, 2007 02:39 PM | Link to this

@ Demi…man u dont have to tell me..one of my co workers will go to Olive Garden and just get the salad and bread sticks with alfredo sauce on the side to dip the bread in…wouldnt even order an entree…Even OG has gotten wise..now they wont give you salad and bread sticks until you order something..

By JustMe

January 2, 2007 02:40 PM | Link to this

KInder Here ya go! $20 (THis is a cyber 20 dolla bill) :-)

C Tha 1 This was all his idea…. it started with the text message I sent in November, and he hasn’t stopped calling me since. I thought I could shake him last night when I suggested that we see each other during daylight hours, and that if we are going to spend time together that we engage in activities that do not consist of lying down watching a movie or anything along those lines. By the time I finished trying to shake him, he told me…….. “Have it your way sweetie, but you’ll be begging for this diznick by the time I am finished with you”. I guess my shaking skillz need an upgrade! We’ll see what happens tonight, if he can’t plan a decent date………… wow! LOL

By JustMe

January 2, 2007 02:44 PM | Link to this

SeanJ O U got jokes too - LOL

SexiOne Thanks for handling the light work. I was trying to be nice being that he is headed to matrimony.

Life 101 Welcome to the blog! Please meet Musing he is our daily Jokster.

Hey Musing tell Life 101 a Ya Mama Joke or two.

By JustMe

January 2, 2007 02:47 PM | Link to this

Musing We never ventured in to a “ship” we have always been friends w/perks - LOL I need a loan, I call him he loans me the money, I pay him back in cash just like he gave it to me. When my Central Air went out, I called him and he came over and fixed it. I gave him my last $20 :-) and fixed him a nice dinner. We were even. Fair exchange is not robbery.

By MusingLee 07' Edition

January 2, 2007 02:48 PM | Link to this

kinder She doesn’t have to walk home…but after I eat, I’m going home. So that leaves her with several options. hahahahaha

Musing: Ok, well it was nice meeting you…I hope you have a skateboard in that big’azz purse. Night!

Sexie I knew you would enjoy that. LOL

By C tha 1

January 2, 2007 02:52 PM | Link to this

LoL @ Musing,

Honestly I’m not trying to be intrusive, but I thought it was a general rule of thumb for women to never let a friend out of the FZ. Just interested in the logic behind it thats all.

By kinderbabe

January 2, 2007 03:05 PM | Link to this

just thanks for they cyber $20..lol i’ll lend that to the sista that musing went out w/so she can catch a cab. LMAO a skateboard is NOT suitable transportation…lol

By spaceman109

January 2, 2007 03:05 PM | Link to this

expectations i have before i ask a woman out: non-smoker (a MUST) and ability to carry on a conversation. too many women still get conversation brain lock when out on a first date as if they are terrified that being intensely conversational would get them labeled unfeminine….few things hack me off more than that.

as for michael jordan…..i hereby predict with absolute confidence that he will be remarried within the next few years to a newly-minted college graduate so he can sire more kids.

By JustMe

January 2, 2007 03:05 PM | Link to this

Musing That sounds like the old saying…….

All I have is dyck and bubble gume and I am fresh out of bubble gum

By JustMe

January 2, 2007 03:05 PM | Link to this

Musing That sounds like the old saying…….

All I have is dyck and bubble gum and I am fresh out of bubble gum

By JustMe

January 2, 2007 03:05 PM | Link to this

Musing That sounds like the old saying…….

All I have is dyck and bubble gum and I am fresh out of bubble gum

By kinderbabe

January 2, 2007 03:06 PM | Link to this

just thanks for they cyber $20..lol i’ll lend that to the sista that musing went out w/so she can catch a cab. LMAO a skateboard is NOT suitable transportation…lol

By Sexione

January 2, 2007 03:06 PM | Link to this

Musing…..hahaha!! You know me well!!! lol

JustMe…. “Have it your way sweetie, but you’ll be begging for this diznick by the time I am finished with you”. Is that even a possiblity in your mind? Cause if not, ole boy’s expectations may turn to disappointment!! If so, you both may be smiling for the rest of 07. Either way, take it in stride, that’s what I’m doing with Mr. Blew It (who’s managed to squeeze back onto the radar). Aaahhhhhhh, life…….lol

By JustMe

January 2, 2007 03:12 PM | Link to this

C tha 1 If only women had a woMan Law Board!

I think my repeated no’s and no thank you’s got to him. I finally did take in a move with him after X-mas. Tonight might make our 2nd (yikes) date. I told him I really value our friendship and I really do. Heck who else is gonna fix the CA for $20 and dinner - LOL. I just don’t want to ruin what’s already working searching for a needle in the hay stack.

Hey your a dude…….. what could a female friend say to you to stop him from trying to change positions?

By Ronnie

January 2, 2007 03:14 PM | Link to this

Gaspar the Whale is dead.

I will never date again.

By SeanJohnson

January 2, 2007 03:18 PM | Link to this

@ JustMe..women do have woMAN laws…woMan Law number…Take some things to the grave…

By MusingLee 07' Edition

January 2, 2007 03:21 PM | Link to this

C tha 1 Sounds like JustMe is moving dude from “pay master” status to “date” status….This is not a violation of “Dating Law” as this is quite common. But moving someone from the FZ to date status is absurd. hehehehe

I call him he loans me the money, I pay him back in cash just like he gave it to me.

JustMe Yeahhhhhhh, Righttttt.

Dude: I came over when you said you wanted to pay me back…So where is the cash?

Entering the dimly lit room holding some saltine crackers, a Keith Sweat CD, wearing some pink riding boots….

JM: Boy come here, I’m gonna give you 27 dollars and 83 cents of hot passion.

By JustMe

January 2, 2007 03:23 PM | Link to this

*SexiOne perks It’s been at least 2 years since we were perky. I have been intentionally withholding the perks thinking he would eventually give up, but nooooooooooo.

Ronnie Gasper is not dead, he is in Beluga Heaven with all the other whales. You can date again!

By JustMe

January 2, 2007 03:26 PM | Link to this

SexiOne I hate it when they squeeze back in……. men are so sneaky!

By C tha 1

January 2, 2007 03:29 PM | Link to this

I don’t think there is anything I can tell you since you’ve gone out with him already. Things seem like they are in motion. There is risk in every dating matter regardless of the circumstances, just make sure you and bruhman check yall expectations just have fun. Since this is the theme of the blog its fitting and cliche, but it buddy has been puttin in serious work trust me he has some kind of a plan. But don’t let me plant any seeds.

By MusingLee 07' Edition

January 2, 2007 03:32 PM | Link to this

Off Topic

Anyone needing a good laugh will enjoy this link…It’s from one of my favorite news sources.

Cold Weather Prostitutes

By Mo

January 2, 2007 03:32 PM | Link to this

SeanJohnson you got that woMan Law right….to the GRAVE…LMAO!!!

By Sexione

January 2, 2007 03:33 PM | Link to this

JustMe….SJ is right, we do have WoMan Laws, we just don’t advertise them like our other halves, lol I’ve found that withholding the perks never works, it only makes them want it MORE!!!!! I’m living that right now!! I believe that is in “the book”. Oops, I wasn’t supposed to reveal that, was I? LMAO

Musing….the ‘07 edition is nuttier than ever!!! hmmmmmm….

I’m out, everyone have a safe evening.

By 2007's Demi

January 2, 2007 03:34 PM | Link to this

JustMe I wasn’t going say it but…coming out of FZ is on the same as winning the lottery for some dudes…So keep that in mind.

SeanJohnson I thought I was the only one who witness that foul shyt going on at O.G…I’ve even hear of some women putting breads sticks in their purses and dipping out.

Sexione sometimes we as men and women are selling ourshelves short with this Fzie thingy…

By JustMe

January 2, 2007 03:36 PM | Link to this

SeanJ Where did you get your information?

Musing I swear - LOL

I see it like this…….. dude and I met about 4-5 years ago, I had just purchased my first home and didn’t know a lot about (nothing)changing out lights and lawnmowers that wouldn’t start. So from the onset, he has always lent me a helping hand for which I have always been grateful and I have always tried to show him some appreciation by hooking him up a hot plate, dropping him a few dollars for his trouble. About a year after the fact………. well we got perky because neither of us was involved, but neither of us wanted to be involved either. So for about 6-9 months we were perky friends and then for no reason at all we quit, but we were still cool. We talked about guys I had met and women he had dated and we even promised to hook each other up if either of us met someone we thought the other might be interested in. Over the years we have been really good friends even without the perks. Now all of a sudden, he wants perks, benefits, and Quality Time.

By SeanJohnson

January 2, 2007 03:41 PM | Link to this

@ Sexione..glad u can admit that… @ MO..yep..to the grave..its a shame that men keep it more real than women..

By JustMe

January 2, 2007 03:43 PM | Link to this

Demi Thanks, I think.

Oh and those bread sticks reheat nicely j/k - LOL

Demi Please elaborate Sexione sometimes we as men and women are selling ourshelves short with this Fzie thingy…

By 2007's Demi

January 2, 2007 03:44 PM | Link to this

C tha 1 yea, most women leave dude in FZ until their late 30’s…ooooh JustMe turns 38 this year, soooo she’s on the right track for relationship success!!

By JustMe

January 2, 2007 03:45 PM | Link to this

Maybe I can be a really horrible date, eat fast, munch loud, steal food, burp at the table and joke about it, then pass gas as he holds the door open for me to exit the resturant.

What do you think guys? Would that stop y’all?

By Jake

January 2, 2007 03:45 PM | Link to this

JustMe FLAG ON THE PLAY SexiOne perks It’s been at least 2 years since we were perky. I have been intentionally withholding the perks thinking he would eventually give up, but nooooooooooo.

JustMe sounds like your about to break the dyck in jar in case of emergency. Dude ain’t in the friend zone, he coming out of retirement like MJ did…LOL

Gotcha with the persistence, dayumn JustMe, you must got the good cookies if he been pining for two years..HEHEHEHEHE

By JustMe

January 2, 2007 03:46 PM | Link to this

Musing You have got to be a professional comedian………. where do you get this stuff? Got any jokes? You know abc tells really good jokes, but yours are better…..

By SeanJohnson

January 2, 2007 03:47 PM | Link to this

@ Just Me..what info?

By JustMe

January 2, 2007 03:49 PM | Link to this

Demi U all in my kool-aid…….. how did you know my age?

By Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a closet FULL of T-shirts)

January 2, 2007 03:54 PM | Link to this

Good luck on moving from the FZ

Every time I ever tried to move from the FZ to something more perky, I got a brotherly hug, an ‘air kiss’, and a bill for drinks and dinner…and the “you are my friend and you know that is so much better than the other”. Funny thing how often afterwards I found myself looking up at my ceiling at 2:00 AM alone, with an empty feeling, a lighter wallet and an intense desire to never go back to the FZ.

Yup, being in the FZ is a good way to get nothing for one’s investment in time and money.

By Jake

January 2, 2007 03:58 PM | Link to this

JustMe

When is the wedding. Okay, he already fixin everything around the crib, you’ve broke him off prior, cooking for him and what not. Sounds like ya’ll can talk about ahything. Played around with other folks for a minute, and are lookin each other in the face again,in the words of the immortal Arsenio Hall, that just makes me say …hmmmmn

By kinderbabe

January 2, 2007 03:59 PM | Link to this

justme that might not work. you remember what happened in the movie white chicks when shawn or marlon (don’t know which one) went out on the date and behaved terribly…lol. buddy was super turned on by that…lmao

By 2007's Demi

January 2, 2007 03:59 PM | Link to this

JustMe there’s nothing to elaborate on. I personally view the FZ as the “Miss Opportunity Zone”. Maybe at that time, said person was not what you were looking for. But years later, HOT DAYUM!! They were everything you wanted and more…Instead we waste time with what looks good…NOW. Rarely what’s good for us 5 or 20 years down the line.

By JustMe

January 2, 2007 04:05 PM | Link to this

Jake Trust and believe, 1) there is no emergency and 2)he is not my dyck in a glass jar…….. We were single so we mingled, no harm no foul. BTW the cookies are dayum good……… so I’ve been told.

Do y’all (men)lie about good cookies?

SeanJ About the grave?

Randy Geeeeeee Thhhaaaannnnkkkkss, I really feel great now….

By C tha 1

January 2, 2007 04:11 PM | Link to this

Randy T is basically right.

JustMe it seems your friend’s persistence has oddly charmed you to let your guard down. Is that true or are you just sympathetic to dude?

By JustMe

January 2, 2007 04:16 PM | Link to this

Kinder Say it ain’t so - ROFLMAO

Jake/Demi I was thinking along those lines playing pros and cons with this thing……. Yes, he’s my fix it guy, yes I cook him nice meals, yes we talk about any and everything and sometimes people too - LOL We have had a fun times together, heck we even went on a dutch date a few years ago so as not to obscure the lines……. we did errrrrdayumthang we could to stay friends and it worked for JustMe

By SeanJohnson

January 2, 2007 04:18 PM | Link to this

@ JustMe..i was raised my women..worked around women my entire adult life..dated women…thats something i learned in my 20’s…women take secrets to the grave..will deny and lie to the end about things..so certain things ..prepare NOT to hear the truth…

By JustMe

January 2, 2007 04:24 PM | Link to this

C tha 1 Well I haven’t completely let my guard down, I told him weeks ago, I had no sympathy for his sexual situation. So no, it’s not sympathy. Persistance…….charming……. naw… he’s just like he has always been, but he has a different agenda this time I guess. I really don’t want to (mis)use him, so I kept declining his date offers, he kept asking……. yeak, I guess persistant is about right - LOL I really don’t think I can do this with him. If we start dating and it doesn’t work…… who in the Hayo is gonna make a house call for $0 and fix what’s broke for little or nothing…….. I can’t risk it. Now that I think about it…….. he did use that as one of his selling points…….. “It’s always good to have a handy man in the family”. Dude might be on a serious mission…….

By 2007's Demi

January 2, 2007 04:26 PM | Link to this

JustMe you posted you age last month sometime…had you been under the age of 33, I would not have notice…At all, Heck I’ve forgotten KB’s age and that was last week

On the cookie thingy, some men do and most dont brag about it (online doesn’t count). After age 27, most men focus on prolonging the sex and increasing her multiple…

By JustMe

January 2, 2007 04:33 PM | Link to this

Demi I spilled that much koolaid? j/k I figured I had put it out there, heck y’all know all JustMe’s beezwax huh? - LOL

Demi How old are you? J/K

Y’all have a good evening

By 2007's Demi

January 2, 2007 04:34 PM | Link to this

JustMe If buddy try hit you up for sex by date 3, drop him. If I am going into a relationship with a good friend, sex would not be my goal, but building a trusting relationship will be.

By chullato

January 2, 2007 04:36 PM | Link to this

FZ has its perks also. I met a female friend of mine back in high school. She is very attractive, but after a few dates she wanted to be just friends. I rejected the notion at first, but ten years later she is one of my best friends.

To the point, having a very attractive female friend at parties, clubs, etc. get you attention from other women. Having her as a friend was like a co-sign of my being date worthy. She is my sister from another mister and I will do anything for her, but having her as a friend had its advantages.

By JustMe

January 2, 2007 04:37 PM | Link to this

Demi That’s the best advice I have heard all day - LOL

By MusingLee 07' Edition

January 2, 2007 04:40 PM | Link to this

Goodnight Peeps…Blog with you later.

By Jake

January 2, 2007 04:41 PM | Link to this

JustMe Lie about good cookies, never!! We won’t tell you if they are bad because sometimes you will take Oatmeal even though you prefer chocalate…LOL If you were told they were good then they are good. The power of the “puddy” is not to be played with, you never admit how good the cookie is unless you really enjoyed it. Once you begin to praise the “puddy”, it becomes a weapon that can be used against you.

Now turning up Babyface’s “Whip Appeal” and thinkin back to last time I was a victim of a “puddy’s power”…LOL

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