Misadventures in Atlanta

By SlimOne

January 9, 2007 08:27 AM | Link to this

Good Morning BLog

I need to say a prayer for the fact that i’m NOT with the first person I ever ‘dated’. In those days i was simply infatuated with this guy and don’t get me wrong he’s a good guy at heart but definitely not what I’d need in todays world. He now has 6 kids with 3 or 4 different baby mommas. And of course he doesn’t have a typical legal job either.

Now had I married or stayed with my first love, (from the outside looking in, i’d probably be living the typical american dream fantasy life with 2.5 kids, a dog, and a white picket fence. But behind closed doors I’d probably be miserable. I say that because my first love simply didn’t have a backbone. I didn’t think he was ambitious enough and I eventually outgrew him my first year away at school. And come to think about it, he’s 28 & still lives at home with his parents.

By kinderbabe

January 9, 2007 08:38 AM | Link to this

good morning all!! wow, that’s a lot to think about, if i had married my first love from high school…my life would be a WHOLE lot different. I’m sure I would be up to my neck in children, lol. I probably would have not followed through on my career goals either. I would have been too busy w/my family life at home. Actually, we may not have been married at this point, probably divorced. Glad that I left my hometown so my life could take a different course.

I’m also glad that I didn’t get married in my early twenties to a guy who wanted to make a “kept” woman out of me. there is a 15 year age difference between us. he didn’t want me to work or strive for my career goals. basically, my job would have been to get every degree known to man (if that’s what i wanted, lol), join a few social clubs, go to the gym and sit around and look pretty…NOT me. that may be the perfect life for some folks, but even at that young age, I knew that something wasn’t right about that plan for my life.

By Miss QC

January 9, 2007 08:48 AM | Link to this

Morning Bloggers Oh this is a great topic, i’m getting “misty eyed” just thinking about the one that let me get away….have a great day all i’ll comment later! ;)

By Raqi

January 9, 2007 08:52 AM | Link to this

Well I did marry my first “real” boyfriend and if he was still here today I know without a doubt my life would be totally different. Or we may even have gotten a divorce if I had been given the opportunity to discover the person I am today while still being married to him. I don’t think my first love/boyfriend/husband would like who I am now. It’s funny because he and Mason were friends to the day he died and it seemed like they were a lot a like. But after Chuck passed Mason moved on and stumbled onto a different path and is who he is today. I loved Chuck, he is the father of my oldest son, but I like my life now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah here comes the sappy part, if I never would have met and married Chuck I would have never met Mase and yall know the rest of the story.

By Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a closet FULL of T-shirts)

January 9, 2007 08:56 AM | Link to this

Okay, I got started and wrote toooooo much. Last week I heard the lyrics of a country song that really hit me. It was called “God Blessed the Broken Road” …that led me to you. This was my “Broken Road”. Again sorry it is so long.

1) Me - 18, she - 16 (duration- 8 months)

First girlfriend told me would marry me then 6 weeks later was giving it up to a guy who got her drunk, took her virginity (wish I had), and threw her under the bus. I heard years later that she had a handicapped son and wa living in a trailer. It would have ended in no time, anyway. Ultimately I would have grown past her educationally and socially and she would not have been able to adapt.

2) Me - 22, She -22 (duration - 26 years)

Married after dating for 2 1/2 years. Found out several years later and a miserable sex life, that she had been sexually abused by her father during her teen years and would never, even after three years of therapy (which I wish I had sent the bill to the b&stard) realy get healthy in that way. She was really good at avoiding sex and it was always like leaving the table ‘half full’. We were total strangers to each other by the end. My love life improved dramatically when we finally divorced…and I realized that there were women who would actually be really good to you. My life eventually got so much better that I thank God every day now that it ended.

But had three great kids, and even though part of me hates the wasted marriage, had it not been for her, I would not have THOSE children that I love dearly…so ultimately I do not regret it at all…or any of the others either.

3) Me 47 She (older but looked and acted like a thirty something…body like a twenty something). Duration - 2 years)

Best and most frequent sex life I had ever had for the next two years. I learned ways of touching, tasting (can I say that?), making a woman feel special and how and where to use every ‘asset’. We would spend days in bed exploring each other in every possible way (within reason). One Christmas, when I was getting very serious about her, she started getting cold feet and threw me under the bus for (I still can’t believe this one) her ex-husband. She did want me on the side as her ‘boy toy’ but that was not a ‘threesome’ I wanted. Three years later, she and her ex broke it off, and she confided she had wasted those years and the sex was mediocre and infrequent. Truly, we would have eventually driven each other crazy, because at that point nither of us could handle being with one 24/7. A part of me will always love her though, and I ran into her last Spring for the first time in three years, and the chemistry was just as strong or stronger as ever. I know we both wanted to do the big one right there and let the networks broadcast it live and HBO make a special out of it, but…a little voice in my head kept saying “don’t go there”. Not a good idea for either of us, and I know that once the sex started going down, we would begin to resent each other getting inthe way of what each of us really were searching for.

4) me - 53 she - 46 (Duration - 5 months)

The ‘Runaway Bride Wannabe’. Incredibly passionate, but I later (afterwards) realized she was looking for ‘validation’ of her desirability, and self-worth as a ‘woman’, not a relationship. Every time things got really good, she would put on those ‘New Balances’ and run. She had emotional problems and even though I personally adored her, my friends thought she was a flake and I needed to ‘drop kick her to the curb”. I was not a real romance to her, just a ‘therapist’ that took her back into womanhood. I would have eventually made her crazy. she was totally anal and I can be a bit ‘housekeeping challenged”.

5) me - 54 she - 47 Duration - 5 months and counting.

Most passionate giving woman I have ever run into. She cares for me in a way that none have ever before, and willingly treats me like a king. She is attractive, great body, smart (except for this strange attraction to me), has great kids that are almost out of the nest, everything I ever wanted in a woman. Now if I can get over that male ‘fear of commitment…marriage scares the [you know what] out of me now, there could really be a future here.

By Mo

January 9, 2007 08:56 AM | Link to this

morning all had I married my first love, my college sweetheart, I probably would be like most of you. Would have not been truly happy. Still love the guy and what we had, always will. Didnt have a bad breakup or anything, but I just always felt like if we were meant to be together (and for everything to be great) then we would be. At least at this point in my life. So while there have times that I missed him, I also know that there is a reason for EVERYTHING!

By GA.man

January 9, 2007 08:57 AM | Link to this

Wow..wow wow i am so glad i didn’t marry the first girl..and yes i said girl i thought i was in love with..i got so caught up on the fact that she was fine …i had lost my mind thank God she showed her true colors..when i see her now and then she always ask me what happened to us..and all i can do is smile and leave her presence in peace

By Sexione

January 9, 2007 08:58 AM | Link to this

Morning Everyone!!

Wow, I’m not sure about that first one. We would probably be divorced by now….I believe he turned out to be quite the cheater. As for the one that let me get away (well, the last one anyway), he’s still trying to get me back…..hmmmmmmm! And yes, I will admit, I sometimes do wonder “what if?”

By GA.man

January 9, 2007 09:01 AM | Link to this

Oops Gorming all blog ppl

By Cinderella

January 9, 2007 09:01 AM | Link to this

I DID marry my 1st love, high school sweetheart….and it ended in divorce. We totally outgrew each other, or one of us grew up and one of us didn’t. Things would definitely be different had I not married him. There are many things I regret today that I didn’t get a chance to explore then. Of course, my babies are the exception. They’re the only reason I don’t beat myself up for the stupid decision I made 100 yrs ago.

By MochaTreat

January 9, 2007 09:01 AM | Link to this

More than likely I would have 3 or 4 children and be at home raising them. We would still be together, because my high school boyfriend is selfish (he would not want to have to pay me child support and alimony). So we would be living in total misery…until I had enough and then I would file for divorce.

I don’t think I would be the strong independent woman I am now. I know for a fact that I would not be employed with this horrible company that I currently work for (but that’s a topic for another day)!

By kir

January 9, 2007 09:02 AM | Link to this

good morning everyone! good topic laney. i’m on the same page as kinder. sometimes i look back and think if i had decided to continue with the first guy i dated that maybe i would be married by now. that may have been a good thing, but i would not want to take back any of the lessons i have learned so far while being single. i know a lot more of who i am and i am more comfortable with me. i couldn’t imagine trying to figure out who i am and sustain a marriage too.

By MochaTreat

January 9, 2007 09:05 AM | Link to this

More than likely I would have 3 or 4 children and be at home raising them. We would still be together, because my high school boyfriend is selfish (he would not want to have to pay me child support and alimony). So we would be living in total misery…until I had enough and then I would file for divorce.

I don’t think I would be the strong independent woman I am now. I know for a fact that I would not be employed with this horrible company that I currently work for (but that’s a topic for another day)!

By GA.man

January 9, 2007 09:05 AM | Link to this

Oops Gorming all blog ppl

By Cinderella

January 9, 2007 09:05 AM | Link to this

I DID marry my 1st love, high school sweetheart….and it ended in divorce. We totally outgrew each other, or one of us grew up and one of us didn’t. Things would definitely be different had I not married him. There are many things I regret today that I didn’t get a chance to explore then. Of course, my babies are the exception. They’re the only reason I don’t beat myself up for the stupid decision I made 100 yrs ago.

By kir

January 9, 2007 09:07 AM | Link to this

good morning everyone! good topic laney. i’m on the same page as kinder. sometimes i look back and think if i had decided to continue with the first guy i dated that maybe i would be married by now. that may have been a good thing, but i would not want to take back any of the lessons i have learned so far while being single. i know a lot more of who i am and i am more comfortable with me. i couldn’t imagine trying to figure out who i am and sustain a marriage too.

By ThirdWheel2007

January 9, 2007 09:10 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Everyone! If I would have married my first boyfriend I belive yall would have seen me on the latest episode of Cheaters beating up the the other woman and having my words bleep out. Glad that he is gone.. he probably has like 12 kids with 12 different baby mamas by now….. My first “love” and I use that word usely would had been a nightmare if I married him. He didn’t belive in proper hgyine like bathing and he was 400lbs overweight, had some jacked up “dracula” teeth and had no goals in life. Now granted I was 17 at the time and was just dating him for his car but still we had a little connection….. I often wonder where he is… if he is finally taking a bath on a daily basis or just putting on colgone to disguise the Body smell. Now the one that got away I am still pinning for him….. We never went out but we were close friends in Middle and High School. He asked me out in high school but I turned him down. Ever since then I have kicked myself. We got in touch with each other like 2 years ago but I have not heard from him since. I belive he was my one true soulmate….. oh well……

By MusingLee

January 9, 2007 09:17 AM | Link to this

Morn’in All,

If I had married my first love, I’d be broke and miserable…LOL…She was high maintenance before there was a term for it.

By NCgirlfromATL

January 9, 2007 09:20 AM | Link to this

Lawd Lawd Lawd! So glad that relationship ended! lol! My first love and I would have looked great on paper if we were married now. He’s a college professor, PhD in psychology, coulda been Cuba Gooding, Jr.’s twin when he was in Boyz in tha Hood (w/o the box ‘do). Me, a lawyer w/ a growing practice. Both of us w/ lots of friends and family. But that bruh had some issues! lol! Really, he was a sweetheart when he wanted to be. And we became much better friends after we broke up. But, he had this nasty habit of picking me apart and criticizing me by saying “I would want a woman with better legs, or a smaller booty, shorter hair, a flatter stomach (take your pick). His favorite thing to do was to call me before an exam to see if I was studying. Well, I was before you called to interrupt me! And then he’d call me constantly after the exam so he could compare his grades w/ mine (he was a year ahead of me). It was 9 months of little digs here and there. But, I was in luuuuuv people. lol! Relationship ended when he got ghost for 2 months to get back with his (white) ex-girlfriend, and then tried to get back w/ me when got bored w/ her. When I wouldn’t talk to him, he kept calling me w/ the baby, what’s wrong? message. LOLOL! Whaaaaatever!

Love Lesson learned #592…

By binford

January 9, 2007 09:26 AM | Link to this

I had my first true love a little later than most, so I knew what was out there by the time we got together. We had a great time together, but it turns out she was a lot more “fundy” than she let on - and that turned out to be the downfall of the relationship.

Always did find it ironic that the one in our relationship that was always worried Jesus was watching and went away to a christian college would be the one who would have cheated twice. Go figure.

If she would have stayed away from the hardcore religous right, we could have had a good life together. Though I am a firm believer that it worked out like it was supposed to. Either that or she was a crazy b*h ;P

By Foots

January 9, 2007 09:31 AM | Link to this

Hey Laney. Excuse me for being nosy, but how did you come to be having dinner recently with your ex and his family?

By D Dub of the ATL version 3.0

January 9, 2007 09:31 AM | Link to this

Morning folks… just a quick related story…

I took a training class back in ‘05 and ran into my ex… well she ran into me actually. I didn’t even recognize her - she walked up and goes, “Do you remember me?”

I took a second and realized that this was my first serious girlfriend coming out of high school… not to be nasty or mean, but I’m glad she screwed me over like she did when she got down to a certain college in Savannah (no need to tell ALL my business, right? Ha!). Later that week, we went to lunch (my then current girlfriend wasn’t too happy about that, but that’s another conversation) and I was completely floored by the way she hadn’t changed… the old “unlock and open the door test” that she flunked back in 1994 she basically did the same thing… she’s married and has a daughter, but didn’t carry a picture of her - not even on her phone… overall just a pitiful person, and I was relieved to see that someone else had to put up with her lack of ambition and complacency with her life… she was in the process of getting her master’s degree only because her job “suggested” it to her.

Overall, I definitely subscribe to the “Reason, Season, or Lifetime” theory… and she was in my life for a specific reason - so that I would know that I deserved better and that my partner in life should be the exact opposite of her…

takes a breath…

Anyway folks, everything happens for a reason… and while sitting back and wondering what might have been can be fun, it’s also distracting you from what you need to be doing - it ended for an obvious reason and going back only tends to set yourself back.

& I’m gone!

By lynn

January 9, 2007 09:42 AM | Link to this

Oh yeah, I married my first love. Love? Disaster & 20 years of hell is what it turned out to be. I wasted a lot of time with that jerk but I did meet my true soulmate and I am happier than ever. Just wish I had figured things out sooner.

By NoNonsense

January 9, 2007 09:45 AM | Link to this

Good Topic Laney.

If I had married my high school boyfriend I would the wife of a fire fighter and that is a life I could not live. He was a really nice boy and grew to be a great man. He has a wife and 3 girls now.

If I had married my first college sweetie either he would be dead or I would dead. He would have beat the crap out of me or I would have killed him to prevent it. We broke up because he tried to pound me into the pavement in my parent’s driveway and my brother ended up breaking his collar bone with a pipe. We were together for 6 long months.

My second college sweetie was a fun adventure but not good husband material. We were no good for each other but we were so good together. He cheated on me again and that sent me looking for revenge and led to me finding someone else. I married the someone else.

By it would be okay-

January 9, 2007 09:46 AM | Link to this

Funny this topic has come up- just recently i was reunited with my first love after being completly seperated for over 10 years. In fact we had not even spoken in that time period. Maybe we are rushing, but the wedding bells are ringing!

By it would be okay-

January 9, 2007 09:46 AM | Link to this

Funny this topic has come up- just recently i was reunited with my first love after being completly seperated for over 10 years. In fact we had not even spoken in that time period. Maybe we are rushing, but the wedding bells are ringing!

By Laney

January 9, 2007 09:54 AM | Link to this

Foots, my ex and I are still close friends. He was having a family event and asked me and some other friends to come along! I was a little nervous that it would be weird, but everyone was extremely cool.

By Jake

January 9, 2007 09:54 AM | Link to this

What up Blog:

Okay, I’ll be the sunshine today amongst all ya’ll rain clouds. If I had married my 1st real love we would happily raising a couple of knuckleheads by now and I’d be 20 pounds heavier..LOL She turned out real good, still looks great, and is handling her bizness. We keep in touch, but there are no romantic notions, just friendly conversation every couple months or so. I probably would have taught her a few more tricks by now, she gave me credit for teachings her be open in the bedroom. I just couldn’t keep in my pants back then, early 20’s. Man I fugged that one up…HEHEHEHEHE

By chullato

January 9, 2007 09:58 AM | Link to this

My father always told me not to fall in love until I was old enough to understand it. I thought it was good advice since he and my mother married when they were young and are now separated. So, I was lucky to not have any first love horror stories.

It seems that everyone’s life would be a disaster if they stayed with their first love. My thought or question is why is this so consistent across the board? Do we find love before we are ready for it? Do we not know what love is at a young age?

By abc

January 9, 2007 09:59 AM | Link to this

After 30 years of no contact, I’m currently with my first love, although she lives in a different state. I can’t say where it’s going, what might have happened if we’d not split up way back when. We’ll see. It beats dating.

By MusingLee

January 9, 2007 10:07 AM | Link to this

chullato Man, the problem is when you’re young “you don’t know what love is.” *(that’s for you abc..LOL)…We get in these relationships without knowing who we are and what we really want. My first love had more to do with infatuation than love. I was just to inexperienced in life to know the difference.

By Susan

January 9, 2007 10:09 AM | Link to this

No, I didn’t marry him. He was smothering. Had we actually tied the knot, I would probably have left him.

He did tell me 20 years after we broke up that he had someone put a curse on my love life when I dumped him. That explains my first marriage and my first husband.

By Sexione

January 9, 2007 10:10 AM | Link to this

Jake….you were going to be the ray of sunshine, right? Alrighty then…..lol

abc…wow, after 30 yrs? Are things better now?

itwould…10 yrs? Are things still the same with you two? Or different and better?

Dang, it’s been only 6 mths since the one that let me get away. Or can I really say I got away since I’m not completely “away” yet? Hmmmm…..

By abc

January 9, 2007 10:21 AM | Link to this

Things never went badly way back then, it’s just that I went to college and she went to a different state, we were young and wanted to have lives, and have fun. The long distance thing doesn’t contribute much to that, either then or now, as far as that goes.

By Demi a God???!!!

January 9, 2007 10:22 AM | Link to this

Once again, them Florida Boyz carried the south on their backs….

Good Morning All

By kinderbabe

January 9, 2007 10:24 AM | Link to this

hey musing, randy, sexione, abc, jake, foots, blog peeps where’s demi??

By SeanJohnson

January 9, 2007 10:33 AM | Link to this

Sup Blog..Now playing…”One Love” by Whoudini…Had we met 10 years later..I woulda prolly made her Mrs Sean Johnson..was the total package of what i want in a woman..and as sweet as u wanted to be..I still compare females i meet based on her..Redbone..with sandy red hair..and the body was sick….

By carrie

January 9, 2007 10:34 AM | Link to this

I married the first man I dated. No not directly out of college.

We broke up, moved away, dated other people; he even married someone else but it didn’t last.

We ran into each other four years ago and resumed dating. We have since married each other and are the parents of a baby girl.

By MusingLee

January 9, 2007 10:35 AM | Link to this

Hey kinder

Now waving at QC…

By Jake

January 9, 2007 10:35 AM | Link to this

Sexione I did say I thought it would have been okay I had stayed when the original, the rest of yous are just negative,negative, negative…LOL When you get really free, I’m comin to get you….winks and kisses

By Tuesday

January 9, 2007 10:36 AM | Link to this

I often wonder if I had married my first sweetheart, (insteading of waiting for Mr. Right - who never really came along) would I still be a single parent now? Or would I have a husband, with a house full of kids?????

By SpinDoctor5

January 9, 2007 10:38 AM | Link to this

Oh my God, if I married my first love, I know without a doubt that it would end in divorce. Our priorities were always in different places, and he’s always been more dedicated to his work than his relationships. I believed in his potential to be a great man, but if I married him on that premise, I would have been very dissapointed that we would never reach that level of compatibilty I dreamed of. I actually ran into my first love at a convention this summer, and it was crystal clear that we really are two different people now. I’m just glad it didn’t take children to realize that. I wish him well in life, and I’m glad we had a good relationship when we did, but we were certainly not built to last. Now, i’m seeing an incredible man, and if it took a broken heart to bring us together, then it was worth every tear I shed for my ex.

P.S. On the superficial front, my ex looked a hot a* mess, had man t**, and had an annoying voice. I definitley have stepped up my game since the early days:)

By Sexione

January 9, 2007 10:39 AM | Link to this

Heeyy kinder, Demi

carrie….wow, that’s sweet

By kinderbabe

January 9, 2007 10:46 AM | Link to this

wow, carrie that’s a great story.:)

By Sexione

January 9, 2007 10:56 AM | Link to this

Jake….you’re a mess!!! When/if (yes, I’m being realistic here) that day comes, I’ll be ready to make you my “human plate”…..I am soooo bad!!

SpinDoc….yes it does help when the ex looks like hot $hit…do yo thang!! lol

By crimson esq.

January 9, 2007 10:57 AM | Link to this

happy new yr and good morning everyone

it’s been a minute…

as far as going back in time to my first relationship.. i can’t say that i never thought about what could have been but he and i both know that we’re better off as friends.. it was a relationship that lasted for almost five years (high school through the beginning of college) and things just didn’t work out in the end… no cheating or scandal or anything like that and we’ve remained good friends through the yrs… supporting each other’s relationships and ultimate happiness..

flash forward to 07’ had he and i (or any of the other guys that i dated in the interim) stayed together.. i would not have met my reflection in male form.. and i can honestly say that i am enjoying the journey now..the woman that i’ve become…the lessons i’ve learned through the yrs.. and the man that i truly adore now…

By SlimOne

January 9, 2007 11:00 AM | Link to this

I’m so glad I finally got out of my most recent 6 year relationship. I didn’t realize until we actually had time apart with no communication at all, that the real SlimOne was slowly dying in that relationship. I didn’t know who i was anymore other than this guarded, hurt female. Now I have piece of mind. I still care/love him a lot but he couldn’t or wasn’t giving me 100% and doing too many questionable things. He swears up and down that it’ll never be over between us but frankly I don’t have anything else to give him.

By Demi a God???!!!

January 9, 2007 11:02 AM | Link to this

My father always told me not to fall in love until I was old enough to understand it…At 27, I am just now understanding what these words mean.

Heeeey KB and Sexione!!!

Demi winks at the one and only sexy Ms. QC

The hell is…JustMe???!!!

That woman got running late on my blog fliers miles

By kinderbabe

January 9, 2007 11:04 AM | Link to this

welcome back crimson:)

slimone i like your comment about not having anything else to give to your ex. i feel the same way about a man in my past.

By Demi a God???!!!

January 9, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this

I’ve been thinking…It’s a little too cold to be flying around the ‘A’ in draws, Timbs, and a cape. I may have to change my flight plans this winter.

By Lori Tate

January 9, 2007 11:15 AM | Link to this

I DID marry my first real boyfriend. We dated for 2 years in highschool, were engaged for 4 years of college and got married after we graduated from college. We waited 6 years after marriage before having any children so we had plenty of time for fun and games. We’ve now been married for 9 years and have an incredible 3 year old son. So it can work out for some. We met in Chemistry class so I guess it was a perfect match from the start!!!

By SlimOne

January 9, 2007 11:16 AM | Link to this

kinderbabe Its so crazy how hindsight is 20/20. You would think that in the midst of all that’s going on it would be easy to let go but I guess it doesn’t get easy until you find yourself exhausted and basically fed up. The last thing I told him was: I’m done sacrificing my happiness to have you in my life and to cater to your feelings. Now its all about reconnecting to self.

By Dr. Kym aka Rested and Relax

January 9, 2007 11:18 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

People come into our lives either as welcome additions, or added distractions. When that person leaves, be it on good terms or bad, they leave a piece of themselves behind. That part that they leave behind can either be used to improve our lives, creating added value to what we know about ourselves, or it can be used to create a negative bond that we take with us into the next relationship and beyond.

By kinderbabe

January 9, 2007 11:19 AM | Link to this

demi you’re a mess!! lol you can wear long johns w/your cape and timbs..lol

By SlimOne

January 9, 2007 11:24 AM | Link to this

*Dr. Kym *

I can agree with that; we do take things whether it be good or bad from past relatioships. I’d like to think of it as trail mix of life…a little bit of everything. Some folks dig the pretzels or raisin and some just dig the nuts!

By kinderbabe

January 9, 2007 11:30 AM | Link to this

dr.kym on point as usual:) i like the part about welcome additions or added distractions…gotta remember that.

slimone you’re so right. it does seem like it would be easier to let go when everything is messed up. there’s nothing worse than being w/someone and feeling like a part of you died in order to live w/that person. it just isn’t worth it in the end. and at the end of the day, it is never appreciated…never. at best, the person will thank you by calling you weak. i’m w/you on reconnecting and staying connect to self. that’s paramount.

By lovelyliz

January 9, 2007 11:40 AM | Link to this

If I had married my first real love, it would have never worked, at least back then. We were both fairly immature and I wanted to see the world.

That relationship died a fairly average, boring death and we lost touch. It might work today, but that’s irrelevant at this point.

By SlimOne

January 9, 2007 11:41 AM | Link to this

knderbababe for a while I used to regret that ‘detour’ in my life but I have to be thankful for now knowing what it is I DON’T want in a relationship. I will try my daymnest not to fall into that ditch again.

By Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a closet FULL of T-shirts)

January 9, 2007 11:47 AM | Link to this

Dr. Kym

Well stated. That is why I have no regrets, because I learned from all of them…and more important, I learned who I was and who I was not. For that I am grateful to all of them, good or bad (in spite of the tread marks I still have from when they threw me under the bus, LOL).

By Mike

January 9, 2007 11:52 AM | Link to this

Carol was my high school and college sweetheart . We graduated UGA in 1963 . She went to Medical School in California . I entered service in the Marine Corps . With our lives going in different directions we eventually lost touch with one another . That was absolutely the worst decision either of us ever made . I caught up with her thirty six years later . After a long distance courtship over two years we married . Happily married now for five years we wish we could have a do over from 1963 . We were soulmates who let it slip away . How blessed we are that fate chose that we find one another again . We often speculate what our lives would have been like if we had that 36 years together . We would have both been much happier and avoided the pain of disasterous marriages .

By Elizabeth

January 9, 2007 12:00 PM | Link to this

I did marry my first love. My high school sweetheart. We graduated high school in June of 1990 and were married in March of 1991 and we are still married. We have two wonderful daughters (ages 14 & 11). And we have a wonderful life together. I cannot even imagine not marrying him. Things have not always been perfect, and in the beginning things were quiet difficult. But anything worth having is worth working at, and this is definitely worth having.

By Storm

January 9, 2007 12:00 PM | Link to this

TOTALLY OFF TOPIC: WTH is a sista thinking, leaving the house with no hosiery on, wearing slingbacks and the soles of her feet look like she’s been MOONWALKING on the sidewalk barefoot!!

Whew! Thank you for letting me vent.

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE!

By Demi a God???!!!

January 9, 2007 12:02 PM | Link to this

kinderbabe I am not Mr.Brown from meet the Browns…got me flying around looking like your neigborhood pervert, LOL

How in the hell do you look sexy in long johns? Ahhhh…Maybe with a nice john showing. Nana nana…That aint even cool.

By tamarind

January 9, 2007 12:06 PM | Link to this

Sure glad I let my first sweetheart go. He was hot and sweet too, but we were both were too young and inexperienced in life and love to make it work. That was long ago and in a far away place, so no chance of a reunion. Nor do I want one. What’s past is past — and usually for a very good reason.

Fast forward to the present.

I recently dropped my fiance with a thud because although just in his mid-forties he is already 0-3 in marriage — and for many good reasons, I discovered just days before the wedding. sigh So, the search continues.

But life goes on. The important thing is to keep going with it. Some journeys take longer than others and don’t always follow a straight path.

By SexyLeggs

January 9, 2007 12:07 PM | Link to this

Good afternoon everyone. I too am glad I didn’t wind up marrying my first love. Although he had the prettiest eyes, he couldn’t kiss worth a damn…LOL…even at the tender age of 16 I had to teach him how to kiss. Now that I’m older the main reason I’m glad I didn’t marry him is because I’ve realized I don’t like skinny men. I’m small framed and bone smacking bone doesn’t appeal to me.

By SexyLeggs

January 9, 2007 12:10 PM | Link to this

Hey Storm who the heck wears slingbacks in this weather with no hosiery….

By Elizabeth

January 9, 2007 12:12 PM | Link to this

I did marry my first love. My high school sweetheart. We graduated high school in June of 1990 and were married in March of 1991 and we are still married. We have two wonderful daughters (ages 14 & 11). And we have a wonderful life together. I cannot even imagine not marrying him. Things have not always been perfect, and in the beginning things were quiet difficult. But anything worth having is worth working at, and this is definitely worth having.

By Foots

January 9, 2007 12:15 PM | Link to this

Hey kinderbabe! On topic, I couldn’t say how my life would be different had I married any of the men in my past. All I can say is that I’m glad that I waited and didn’t get married just to be married or have a wedding. I have been in love a couple of times, but I had never really considered marriage with them. With all of my exes, there was something that was not quite right. With some of them, I simply outgrew them, although they were older than me. One of them, I actually thought he was my soulmate and truthfully, we’ll always have a tight bond even though we don’t speak much anymore, but I know that we would not have been able to make a marriage work together.

I’m glad that they were in my life, but I’m glad that they ALL were the “ones who got away”. Because “all things work together for the good”. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without them and I wouldn’t be with the person I’m with today if I was with any of them.

By GA.man

January 9, 2007 12:25 PM | Link to this

That is about as bad as a woman wearing open toed shoes knowing her feet looks like a rainbow..you know the big toe half colored..the second toe with no polish the third with a dab of the polish and the fourth toe with half of it done come on ladies make sure you do it right.. guys do look and if you think we don’t then think again

By Demi a God???!!!

January 9, 2007 12:35 PM | Link to this

Storm gangsta head nod SUP!!

Heeeeey Foots’n’Sexy

Demi is now off to lunch, wearing a sexy man getup (whatever I look good in)…Ms.Right, here I come!!!

By kinderbabe

January 9, 2007 12:52 PM | Link to this

lol demi you can’t rock longjohns?? the truly sexy can be sexy in anything…lol j/k

By Lissa

January 9, 2007 12:55 PM | Link to this

I’m so glad that I’m not with my first love, though I am very happy with someone from my past that wasn’t a love at the time.

Unlike most people, my first love didn’t happen until I was out of college. It was a long-distance thing with him in Roswell and myself in Warner Robins. We were together for nearly 3 yrs and were even engaged. Then I had a feeling that something wasn’t right. I did a few searches for his different online usernames and found some rather disgusting personal ads and various postings going back throughout our relationship to the present. Note to cheaters - don’t leave evidence online when your girlfriend is an IT professional. :)

After that disaster, I wound up talking with an old friend from college. He begged me to give him a chance and I’m so very glad I did. We’ve been happily together now for 3 years and are now engaged.

For me, going back to the past was wonderful. Going back to a first love? NEVER!

By Miss QC

January 9, 2007 01:13 PM | Link to this

Had i married my 1st love, i’d probably be the black female version of the “old lady living in the shoe with 25 kids” thank God we broke up!

Hey Storm, Musing, Demi, kir

By Demi a God???!!!

January 9, 2007 01:32 PM | Link to this

kinderbabe I would hope no would think it’s cool to rock longjohns’n’Timbs saying,” Baby I need love.”

porn stars are actors, not reality

Jumping into a relationship with lower head first just isn’t wise…Thank you EX for that lesson

After that disaster, I wounded up talking with an old friend from college. He begged me to give him a chance and I’m so very glad I did.

Lissa skidddd, you are a minority. Not many women marry their male friend…He’s a FZ victim

By C tha 1

January 9, 2007 01:33 PM | Link to this

Wassup Lissa,

I from Warner Robins. What you know bout War Town? lol

By Lissa

January 9, 2007 01:43 PM | Link to this

Demi - yeah I know most folks wouldn’t marry a friend, but I lucked out. We weren’t close friends back then and just had a little flirtation. We’d IM each other post college to say hi every now and then. That’s how we reconnected. I guess in some says he was a “what might have been” - we never dated, but only because he was too chicken to ask.

C - I know that these days, War Town runs True Blue. :)

By Jake

January 9, 2007 01:52 PM | Link to this

Holy Smokes Batman BREAKING NEWS:Just in from Lissa Her dude has made all the way from the Friend Zone, up the alter…How the world is changing…LOL

Cth1 War Town…is that what the natives call it…HEHEHEHEHE

By C tha 1

January 9, 2007 01:54 PM | Link to this

Lissa,

I’m not originally from War Town, but I am all too aware of what you’re talking about. Go Northside!!

By mommy3

January 9, 2007 01:54 PM | Link to this

For me my first love was great. He was a marine, gone alot, and I had a bad feeling about the relationship. Now looking back and reading his letters to me I know that I was the only one. I let go of a good thing because I was selfish and wanted him with me. I know that if we had married it would have been great because that is just the kind of person he is. I met my husband on the rebound and although we have been married for 9 years and have wonderful children sometimes I can’t help but wonder what if….

By Sexione

January 9, 2007 01:55 PM | Link to this

Demi….see some do make it from the FZ and manage to win the prize….lol Maybe you need some “special made” long johns….hehehehe

By C tha 1

January 9, 2007 02:01 PM | Link to this

Jake,

Yeah it’s always been called War Town since I stayed down here. Trust me it is not as bad as it sounds.

By kinderbabe

January 9, 2007 02:01 PM | Link to this

great story lissa

i know demi lol life is tough enough w/out longjohns…lol

By Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a closet FULL of T-shirts)

January 9, 2007 02:04 PM | Link to this

@Demi

Your 1:32 post is right on. Got several of those t-shirts, several of which were driven by the ‘wrong head’ taking control…and I hate being caught in the FZ…I hate it with a passion.

Once you get caught in the FZ, you can’t get out and it screws your life up completely until you get the brains and the ballz to just say ‘this shyte has got to end, and move on’. The hardest part is trying to explain why you don’t call, don’t want to talk, why you really don’t want to hear about her love life good or bad. You come out looking like a jerk, and feeling ten times worse. I hate the FZ.

By Officer Musirello

January 9, 2007 02:07 PM | Link to this

Lissa I am now placing you under arrest for breaking the “FriendZone Ordinance 632”…”No Man in the friend zone may be saved from said zone by the Woman that placed him in the friend zone”….

Now strolling over sexy CHiP’s style….70’s style shade protecting eyes and officer mustache blowing in the wind…Spurs from biker boots clanking as I walk over

By Raqi

January 9, 2007 02:07 PM | Link to this

Okay since it seems to be a bit quiet now, I have got one for ya.

How does one “look” like they wouldn’t know how to love you?

I was a lunch with 2 of my girl friends, one of them being unspoken for and looking and while we were waiting to be seated we tried to get her to share a table with this fairly nice looking gent that wasn’t sitting too far from the entrance. You know the perfect excuse, the restaurant is a little crowded and since he was eating alone and she was “alone” they could share a table, therefore creating a chance of meeting. We don’t really know the guy could have been married, but he wasn’t wearing a wedding ring, so why not take a chance. But anyway her excuse was he didn’t look like he could love her the way she needs to be loved. How does one come to that conclusion without meeting the person?

So I asked “What do you mean? What is it about him that makes him look as if he is unable?” Her answer was “He just doesn’t have that look.” Although it would be shallow I could see her saying something like his lips aren’t as full as I would like, or his hands are smaller than what I like or some other superficial foolishness. I could even accept her saying that she prefers her men in business attire because he was dressed more on the upper casual side. But all she said was he just didn’t have that look and she even admitted that he was extremely attractive.

By abc

January 9, 2007 02:09 PM | Link to this

I lived in WR for 6 years, whilst in the AF Band, long ago…

By Demi a God???!!!

January 9, 2007 02:09 PM | Link to this

Sexione WTH!?! Maybe place some blingeries around the john-john area..Look at me!! Imma Super Star!!! In said area LOL WTF!!???

He begged me to give him a chance

I haven’t gotten to that point yet…

Lissa I am glad things worked out for you.

By Qsgirl

January 9, 2007 02:11 PM | Link to this

Hey Blog Family!. This is my first post in the 07, but glad to be back. I missed you guys (MLee,Demi,Randy,KB, etc). En-t-ways, I didn’t marry my first LOVE, but we are still together after 15 years. Does that count? Whatever works, I guess!!!

By Brook

January 9, 2007 02:12 PM | Link to this

Well, while we’re on the subject… My 6th grade boyfriend emailed me this month and said he is getting a divorce after 30 years. He’s coming to see me in a couple of weeks…I was amazed at how many old memories started rushing in..The last time I saw him was at a high school reunion 15 years ago. I’ve been divorced for 19 years. Hmmm…could this be the one?

By Sexione

January 9, 2007 02:15 PM | Link to this

Y’all are a trip with this FZ issue. But now that I read RandyT’s 2:04, it makes me think….maybe that’s why I haven’t heard from this one “friend” in a while. Maybe he realized that the elevator only stopped there for him….the “friend zone” floor. I just couldn’t see anything else because he was my daughter’s ex-Girl Scout leader’s husband (well, probably ex- husband by now, they were having problems). And even though he tried to do it gently, he made it quite clear that he would have liked for there to be more. I just couldn’t see that, her family and mine have been members of the same church for years until recently. Wierd……he was a cutie though. Oh well…

By kinderbabe

January 9, 2007 02:16 PM | Link to this

hey randy did you see my last post from last night? it just made the cut off…lol.

By MusingLee

January 9, 2007 02:22 PM | Link to this

My 6th grade boyfriend emailed me this month and said he is getting a divorce after 30 years. He’s coming to see me in a couple of weeks…

Brook….Sounds like you two have a lot of chocolate milk to catch up on…LOLOLOL…Not to make light of your happiness, but what kind of connection could two 6th graders have…hehehehehehe

Dude: Baby, I love you…I wanna give you this Trapper Keeper.

By kinderbabe

January 9, 2007 02:24 PM | Link to this

hey qsgirl welcome back!!

By Jake

January 9, 2007 02:24 PM | Link to this

Raqi

Now we know it was less about him and more about her. She said that so that she wouldn’t have to be embarassed and pull the litte stunt you guys were setting her up for. What if dude was involved, or plain not interested. How does she explain that when ya’ll start asking about the “chance meeting”. She just refused to look desperate as hell!!

By brown eyed beauty

January 9, 2007 02:26 PM | Link to this

see Raqi it’s crazy thinking like that that’s got your friend ALONE

By kinderbabe

January 9, 2007 02:27 PM | Link to this

musing not trapper keeper!!! lol you took me WAAAYYY back on that one.

By Sexione

January 9, 2007 02:27 PM | Link to this

Raqi….I know what your friend meant. There are some guys that just don’t look like they would know what to do with you (if you know what I mean). They can be attractive, and nice enough, but you can tell when a man is kinda timid, like if you threw the “p” in his face, he would be like, “um, can I have some, can I touch it?”…..oh lawd!!!!!

Officer Musirello….don’t lock that woman up, she has committed no crime…LMAO!!!

Demi….oooohhhh, the bejeweled long johns. Now that might work!!!! And yes, there are quite a few brothers that can out-beg Keith Sweat, I know one of them reeeaaaallllll good…..damm that man can beg, whew!!!

By Qsgirl

January 9, 2007 02:31 PM | Link to this

Thanks KB!

LMsz3AO at that one LEE!

By Jake

January 9, 2007 02:31 PM | Link to this

LOL@Musing’s reference of the “Trapper Keeper”, the baddest notebook ever made, do they still make’em.

By Chocolate Peach

January 9, 2007 02:35 PM | Link to this

I just broke up w/ my 8Th grade boyfriend March 05. Yes, 12 yrs & I still can’t see myself really having the life I want w/out him.

soooooo sad!!!
He’s the only man I ever wanted to marry. (Now crying)

By Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a closet FULL of T-shirts)

January 9, 2007 02:35 PM | Link to this

Hey Kinderbabe

I did see your post and dayum it, have to work again today, seems like they ought to just electronically deposit my check while I satay home and try to dind something worth watching on daytime TV (honestly, I would go friggin nuts if I had to watch CNN or Maury, etc., all day long…I’d pay TO work).

Re the girlfriend and the issue…not entirely sure. We are doing great, but I still am unsure why that hit such a ‘note’, because I thought it was nothing…but then what does logic have to do with anything…especially with a woman, LOL (now my temper tantrums are justified!!!). Honestly, things are really good, although a bit scary for me. I only have two ‘red flags’ in dating. The first is if she does not want to see me again, that is probably a red flag. The second is if she does want to see me again, because like Groucho Marx supposedly said, “I would never join a club that would have me for a member”. She cares very deeply for me which does make me question her sanity. Hellz, I don’t think my own mother liked me.

By TDub

January 9, 2007 02:35 PM | Link to this

Go for it Brook!

By Raqi

January 9, 2007 02:37 PM | Link to this

Jake it’s not a look of desperation it is common. She has shared a table with a total stranger before just for the sake of saving time and not having to wait. I have done it and I know of others that have done it before. At the time we aren’t looking to hook up with the person, but just sharing a table. It gets you seated quicker on those days you just so happen to be dining alone. Of all the times I have done it the only time the person didn’t want me to seat with them is when I asked this elderly lady. You just send the waiter or host over to ask the person. And furthermore the friend is far from being shy so that’s was last thing to worry about. Lawd I swear….

Now back to what I was asking, “How does one make this decision?”

By Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a closet FULL of T-shirts)

January 9, 2007 02:38 PM | Link to this

Totally off subject, but did Florida whip Ohio State’s a$$ or what? That might have been the best coached college game I have ever seen. Florida turned them every way but loose.

By Demi a God???!!!

January 9, 2007 02:38 PM | Link to this

Randyt FZ is a very tough to be in, especially when you want her for yourself.

Now signing your 204pm post with a fresh pair of longjohns sign by me

LOL Raqi, I know y’all ladies weren’t trying to make a friend look whorish…That wasn’t cool at all

Heeeeeey qsgirl

By Raqi

January 9, 2007 02:40 PM | Link to this

Brown eye beauty see how I responded to Jake, but in a much nicer tone for you.

By Storm

January 9, 2007 02:44 PM | Link to this

WTH??Randy, you got me on that one. Perhaps the look is desperate or needy?? Could that be what she was seeking?? LMAO

By Raqi

January 9, 2007 02:47 PM | Link to this

Sexione thank you for answering. I have seen guys that will get my eye by how they walk or carry themselves so I know what you are speaking of. But I didn’t get her because the guy was just sitting there eating and she noticed he was cute. Like I said she is not shy, no even a little bit. But I like your answer.

demi I take it that you are one of those people too insecure to ever go out and eat alone. Am I right? Have you never treated yourself to a nice dinner, ya know, just you? Do you spend your nights locked in your apartment eating Chinese delivery if you have no one to go out with?

By Officer Musirello

January 9, 2007 02:47 PM | Link to this

Hey Qsgirl, welcome back.

Sexie You are asking for it.

Said while turning in slow motion to the rubbernecking Sexieone….

I’m gonna have to ask you to get out of the car miss and spread’em.

By kinderbabe

January 9, 2007 02:48 PM | Link to this

i see randy lol you’re a character…in a good way.:) i feel the same way about my momma…lol.

well, things i’m sure will work out great especially w/everything going so well. hopefully, the longer you are together, the more security she’ll gain which will lead her to move past the trust issues she had.

By Storm

January 9, 2007 02:54 PM | Link to this

SUP QC, kb, Musing, Demi, Sexy! Good afternoon, all!

My first love was not my first boyfriend. My first love and I installed a revolving door on our hearts for each other and were in and out of each others lives from age 16/17 to 30sumthin… until the last time, when I threw him under the bus. He deserved it. Last time I looked him up, it was just something to do. Everytime we got together, I was the one walking away and I walked away because it was only good for a little while… then reality would settle in. He wasn’t good for me or good to me and I realized I deserved better. Thank you, Godd!

By MochaTreat

January 9, 2007 02:58 PM | Link to this

Demi…too insecure to go out alone and eat?? say it ain’t sooo..lol

By MusingLee

January 9, 2007 03:06 PM | Link to this

like if you threw the “p” in his face, he would be like, “um, can I have some, can I touch it?”…

Sexie You’d betta not throw some p’diddy in my face…Hellz in my single days you would’ve gone home walking like a cowboy.

By kinderbabe

January 9, 2007 03:07 PM | Link to this

hey storm

i hear you raqi there is nothing wrong w/going out to eat solo, movies or whatever. i have asked someone to join me before at dinner also. i don’t see it as desperate either, just an interesting way to meet new people and enjoy myself.:)

By Qsgirl

January 9, 2007 03:09 PM | Link to this

Hey Raqi! What’s shaking Off M? Okay Raqi, I didn’t answer your post, because frankly in all my 30 plus(shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh) years, I have never heard of such. He doesn’t look like he can what?! Now, I have heard people say that another person doesn’t look like take care of themselves properly or they look like they stink(all to do with hygiene, unlept nails, hair, etc.). And I think we’ve all heard and probably said, “HMMM, I wonder if they can S*(make luv). But, never the statement your g-friend made. That’s a new one for me dear.

By Demi a God???!!!

January 9, 2007 03:10 PM | Link to this

Sexione you’ve just reminded me of a friend who was forever begging for some kitty-kats…Again, I have not reached said point.

Raqi I am DEAF sweetie…I can teach a few of you Hearing what it means to be alone be alone . I will always be insecure about some things but never that…I will admit. Until your post, I’ve never understood why peeps wanted to sit at my table. I thought, since I was the smallish in the room. Maybe they felt could whoop my A$$ and take my table…LOL

By Foots

January 9, 2007 03:17 PM | Link to this

Raqi Is it that common? Just thinking about it, I don’t think I would want to sit with a complete stranger, especially when out with friends and I could be sitting with them. And let me add this to my prayer list right now: “Please Lord, don’t let a strange dude come up to me and ask to share my table, even if he IS cute. If I’m eating alone, it’s because I want to.” LOL!!

But to answer your question, I don’t know what she was talking about either. If you don’t think it was an excuse to not interrupt him or leave the girls, what do you think it was about?

By Chocolate Peach

January 9, 2007 03:19 PM | Link to this

God determines who walks into your life. It’s up to you to decide who U let walk away, who U let stay & who U refuse to let go………..

Musing, Trapper Keeper wow!!! how I use to demand 1 of those every school year. Those were the good ol days.

By Foots

January 9, 2007 03:21 PM | Link to this

Hellz in my single days you would’ve gone home walking like a cowboy. - Musing

Now see SexyLeggs, this is why I DO like skinny guys. You can ride all day and not end up walking like a cowboy!! LOL!!

By Alvin

January 9, 2007 03:22 PM | Link to this

Raqi I didn’t read your whole 2:47pm post…answer is yes to all questions, all the time until I was 20 (brought my first $4000.00 per pair earing aids…I was a broke as hell growing up,LOL)

Now I am alone and happy, instead of alone and in pain…Make no sense I know. I don’t even know what it means

By Sexione

January 9, 2007 03:23 PM | Link to this

ROTFLMAO!!!!! You guys are hilarious!!!!

Musing…makes me think of this cute little cow girl outfit complete with thong and boots…hmmmmmm

Raqi…no problem, I knew yo