By kinderbabe

January 18, 2007 08:10 AM | Link to this

good morning all! hopefully i’ll be more in the loop today than i was yesterday…lol.

regarding shady dating, a person that displays behavior such as you mentioned diva just isn’t interested. i know that women and men “date” differently but the bottom line remains that people do what they want to do. if they don’t want to call, they dont…if they do want to see you, they make time. unless a man is a surgeon or a high ranking government official, i can’t see why regular phone calls and visits aren’t order. when a person gets sketchy w/their time, that is when i factor myself out of the equation. i found even more strength to continue that pattern after reading this book called “He’s Just Not That Into You.” Ladies, it’s a must read!

By T-Mango

January 18, 2007 08:29 AM | Link to this

Good morning. I’m on CP time getting to the office today because of the ice that had folks running to Kroger for canned goods and water last night…

@Wise Diva-You must have been eavesdropping on a few of my conversations with my girlfriends this week with this topic! I think you hit the nail on the head with your list. I believe that inconsistency is the main one. The process of dating exists to explore your options for potential partners. So, there really is no need to be shady. Yet, the game changes when two individuals have decided to date each other exclusively. Then, ‘shady’ takes on a whole new context.

I told my friend the other day that I don’t care how old you are-you must have ‘the talk’ to set the foundation for a 1:1 relationship. That way both parties are clear on the fact that there is now an ‘us’ and what those expectations are. Other than that, you must grapple with the possibility that the person that you are dating is seeing more people than you (no matter how many late night phone calls you have and how many dates you’ve been on.)Dating does not equal a relationship-

I have no patience for shady behavior. If I’m not the one for you at this time… I’m not the one for you at all…or vice versa then let’s just let each other know so that we can stop wasting each others time. The dodging of questions and overall avoidance is just plain immature-

By SlimOne

January 18, 2007 08:41 AM | Link to this

Morning Blog & kinder I see you’re the early bird trying to keep up with the worm today..lol I agree with what you said. I don’t care how busy you want someone to believe you are, you make time for the things you WANT to do. So if all of a sudden a guy that was showing me much interest all of a sudden is Ghost or hard to catch up to, I’ll assume that he now has interest in something else. He’s just not that into you

How do you handle the push and pull in dating? Does it seem as if single people are apprehensive about putting all their eggs in one basket, so to speak? I handle dating on a situation by situation basis because each guy isn’t alike. One maybe be schizophrenic while another one may just be a pathalogical liar. Single folks have to be a little apprehensive about putting all eggs into one basket especially before you’ve established anything of substance with that person. I wouldnt advise every person to try to fall in love w/every guy/girl they meet right off the back.

What do you think constitutes as shady dating behavior? How do you handle it when this happens?

communication changes drastically: always call in the beginning but then later all you do is text me or we are texting back and forth then i decide to pickup the phone to call and you don’t answer the phone. WTF???

hesitation to make plans: for the last month you break your neck to make sure you’re penciled into my schedule, but then all of a sudden you never seem to have time anymore to hangout

phone service: we’ve had no problems communicating via cell phone or other, then all of a sudden your phone isn’t saving my voicemails or you aren’t receiving my text till the next day,you develop ‘leave-your-phone-in-your-friends-car/house-all-the-time syndrome.

superman mishaps syndrome: all of a sudden every guy friend you have has some sort of car issue or girl issue and you have to go into the phone booth, do a quick change to save them since you seem to be the only one they call on just when we finally got around to making plans that you’ve broken the last 2-3 times.

Do you think single people act shady because they have lost interest or is it perhaps par for the course in dating?

I think people are just afraid to say “hey, I was feeling you up until I met this Fyynne Azz dime piece at the QT last week” So they just figure if they start to distance themselves from you that you’ll soon get the picture and quit calling. It goes back to what GA.man speaks on all the time…TELLING THE TRUTH

By GA.man

January 18, 2007 08:43 AM | Link to this

Good morning all…here we go again Tell the truth and most(not all) can be avoided once you feel some mess is going on then it is up to you to decide when you will put up with the bull$**t no more

I had a friend of mine call on yesterday..he just got married and is having problems…his wifey is not giving the p-dussy up like she did before now it is a wait and see..see if he gets some….me hell nah we just got married and now i am on a diet from it..please so i guess it isn’t just in dating…I don’t personally know what is going on but, that’s too much of a change so it happens in dating and marriage….He is worried about this and he should be….this goes back to talking about things before and during a relationship

I don’t know about you guys..but if i had a sudden change like that it would make me think….and it is making me think now

When i see changes like this or the drop off in calls..hhhmmmm is it someone else or has the newness worn off already

By QC

January 18, 2007 08:46 AM | Link to this

Morning! hey kinderbabe, T-Mango Some single people act shady in hopes that the person of interest will begin to chase after them some do, some don’t…great topic WD i’ll check back later, have a great day bloggers!!

By kinderbabe

January 18, 2007 08:50 AM | Link to this

slimone lol you are so right! i am trying to catch up…lol

your comments were on point…you named all the scenarios. boy have a seen those scenarios more often than i like to. have you heard of that book i mentioned? the guy who wrote is was on oprah a couple years back. yes, a guy wrote it! he probably got kicked out of the club, lol.

By Sexione

January 18, 2007 08:54 AM | Link to this

Goodmorning Everyone!!

I have absolutely NO time for bullish, so once the shadiness begins, I disappear…bottom line. Funny thing, this is exactly why I will be changing my cell # first thing Saturday morning (gots to wait for that new billing cycle)! I’m free!!!!!!! lol

By GA.man

January 18, 2007 08:55 AM | Link to this

update i got emails from 12 people on yesterday about the blog party Don’t be on the outside wishing you were there when it goes down and we start blogging about it…lol We interupt this blog with this very important message*Rules* if you email please know that i am not sharing these email addresses with noone I will be sending out emails to everyone one by one that way i know no email addresses slip thru…I repeat don’t email asking for no one’s email address i will not give it ok…ask them….Back to your regularly schedule blog Wise and Laney you know you ladies got an invite to this as well

By Phuket

January 18, 2007 08:55 AM | Link to this

Solution: Don’t date at all. Not worth the time, money, and emotional energy. Just hang with friends more often and try and make more friends. Maybe something more useful will come of that than the bizarre and ridiculous ritual of “dating”.

By GA.man

January 18, 2007 08:56 AM | Link to this

lmao@sexione been there done that

By SlimOne

January 18, 2007 09:05 AM | Link to this

kinderbabe I did see the episode when he was on Oprah but i’ve only seen excerpts from the book. Now I have read this book called, “Why Men Love Bi#$%’s” and that was a trip. Have you read that?

Hey GAman

By Jewel

January 18, 2007 09:16 AM | Link to this

Good morning Everyone!

Two in one week Diva. Thanks for being Wise about your choice of topics to help me in my “blog therapy.” LOL!

Shady behavior contributed to the demise of my relationship. Our relationship had evolved to a more balanced…maybe settled is a better word…relationship. Spending each and every weekend together was not necessary. We both had lives prior to meeting, so wanting to spend time with friends or alone was not a problem. And not an obvious sign that he was seeing someone else. The quality of time we spent together more than compensated for the time a part. Minus separate homes, our relationship resembled a married couple. This made his “shady behavior” more obvious when I immediately sensed a difference in our connection.

Still, when she called me last week I was in total shock. But the rose-tinted glasses became crystal clear. My instinct had warned me about the difference in his behavior since October. I just was not listening. I did not trade facts with her. I did ask how she got my number. She saw it on his caller ID. He has two phones with caller ID: in his office and his bedroom. He had told her that he was in a relationship, but “wasn’t quite sure how much longer it would last.” I made that decision for him and conceded victory to her. I probably played his hand for him.

Good points SlimOne.

GA Man Your friend is simply the victim of a woman who by-any-means-necessary played the snag a husband game and flipped the script. Sex will not be the only thing she withholds.

Have a Productive, Powerful, Prosperous and Positive Day!!!

By Sexione

January 18, 2007 09:17 AM | Link to this

GAman…here we go again Tell the truth…how many times do we have to say this? I will not even add the string of explicative words that I feel on this…..for now lol

Oh, and GAman*, I have not emailed you yet, but you know I’m in…I’ll send you one this evening from home.

lmao @ Phuket know how you feel

By kinderbabe

January 18, 2007 09:18 AM | Link to this

slim i haven’t read that one. wow! i gotta check that out too. are you going to the blog party??

GAman did you give your e-mail address already? i am interested in attending the party. could you post it again? thanks!:)

By Mo

January 18, 2007 09:19 AM | Link to this

Morning All!! Hey Kinder! Nice Topic today! GA man your friend should be concerned about lack of goodie gettin if he’s a newly but question: did they live together before. Just asking, maybe he thought that marriage meant he could get it all the time, 24/7 and its just not that way. Also I want in on the Blog gathering, so please post your email address again!

By kinderbabe

January 18, 2007 09:25 AM | Link to this

hey mo !:)

By Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a closet FULL of T-shirts)

January 18, 2007 09:26 AM | Link to this

@WD

Not much to say. You pretty much hit it on the head in your write up. The only ‘caveat’ I would mention is that in almost every relationship, good or bad, the parties come to a ‘fork in the road’ where they realize it is becoming totally monogamous with expectations about the future. They have to face the ‘choice’, “do I plan to stay or do I plan to leave”…the dreaded ‘commitment zone’. During this period, the man (and maybe the woman) tend to distance themselves for awhile just to think and decide. You have to weather this ‘indecisive’ period even in ‘great’ relationships…it just happens. So my comment is basically that you need to analyze ‘is it really pulling away, or is it pulling back to think’. You need to know.

I have said before on the blog that I ALWAYS watch for consistency first and foremost. By the time I actually go out with someone, I have already gotten to know them thru emails, phone calls, pictures, etc. If I smell inconsistency in our conversations before dating, I run. If I smell inconsistency on the first date, I run. If I smell inconsistency down the road, I analyze first, then run (or stay).

I am pretty lucky right now. I have been seeing one lady for five or six months now, and never once caught her in an inconsitency at all. Life is good.

By GA.man

January 18, 2007 09:26 AM | Link to this

manswellp@yahoo.com I told him if they are newly weds and this is going on now ..it might not get any better.unless she she does some crazy turn around…but this can of thing can make a person bitter and angry..if all you wanted was someone to help pay your bills and have some one to live with (get ready here it comes again my punchline) TELL THE DAYUM TRUTH ok off my soapbox…man that is wild to have live in and not be able to hit

By GA.man

January 18, 2007 09:27 AM | Link to this

slimone how you doing today?

By SeanJohnson

January 18, 2007 09:27 AM | Link to this

Sup Blog…First few signs of someone acting shady is a cue to head for the exit door…No need to see the end you know how the movie will turn out.

@GaMan…you boy married the wrong female…but tell him to TAKE the P…they arent dating they’re married..the game has changed..her body is no longer her body..thats his pdussy…i wonder if the preacher who married them told them that..

By LorDemi

January 18, 2007 09:28 AM | Link to this

Ga.man demigod33@yahoo.com…feel free to add me on

QC Thanks for the emails (funny as hell)…Heeeeeey QC…

Lil Demi ain’t chasing a got Dayum thing, U ain’t Jesus and I ain’t Satan…So lets drop the holy ghost act. But if I like you, I will take the time out and let you know…A woman can only say NO!

KB Heeey sista and where is…JustMe??

SlimOne I am sorry babe, it was too cold to be flying around the Atl, carrying your banner and yelling, “Have you seen this woman???!!!”

By LorDemi

January 18, 2007 09:31 AM | Link to this

Well Dayum GaMan, How long have they been married?

By Jubien

January 18, 2007 09:33 AM | Link to this

Dating is dumb. What’s the point of it again? Anyone? Anyone?

By MusingLee

January 18, 2007 09:34 AM | Link to this

Morn’in All,

Shady is as shady does…If you get that quizzy stomach feeling about your dude or girl then something is going on…Period. It may not be cheating, but it’s something.

SlimOne I just want you to know, that was a long’azz post….And anyone that knows me on the blog, knows that my ADD won’t allow me to read all of it, if any…LOLOLOLOLOL….Break that ishh up into installments next time…hahahahaha

By LorDemi

January 18, 2007 09:35 AM | Link to this

Sexione I only called once every two week, LOL

Jewel I want the old take no ish Jewel back…*And should buddy file for a divorce???

By Mo

January 18, 2007 09:38 AM | Link to this

Thanks GA Man SJ you are too funny! take it! But I must say, old girl knew that was part of the package when she got married. I must question if he was gettin it on a regular before they married though. If he wasnt then he shouldnt expect anything different now, I know it sounds harsh but its true. He needs to say sonething to wifey about that, and get it straight now or else he’s gonna be miserable….

By kinderbabe

January 18, 2007 09:38 AM | Link to this

hey demi

sj hold up…taking is taking. wife or not. i’m definitely not for depriving my man or myself either for that sake, BUT he can’t TAKE NO COOKIES. marriage does not give one the right to rape somebody. i hope you were joking.

By SlimOne

January 18, 2007 09:38 AM | Link to this

Jewel wow! I’ve been there and done that. It definitely isn’t a great feeling when you get that call and then to hear the crap he says to the other woman regarding you all. I have spoken to the other woman and have heard the whole spill about how he told her he wasn’t happy but never expressed this to me. I think sometimes guys just tell that to them to make her feel more relaxed about getting with him knowing he’s still involved. She thinks, Oh he’s so unhappy so he’ll be with me soon….not always the case. But you did the right thing by taking yourself out of the equation. Now he doesn’t have to waste time and energy on “how much longer it will last” sending a blog hug to you

kinder I hope to be able to go. I’ve already given GAman my email to keep me in the loop on the gathering. Yeah that book is a trip here are some of the attraction principles from it:

Anything a person chases in life will run away

The women who have the men climbing the walls for them aren’t always exceptional. Often, they are the ones who don’t appear to care that much

The biggest variable between a b#t@h and a woman who is too nice is fear. The b#t@h shows that she’s not afraid to be w/o him

He must feel that you choose to be with him, not that you need to be with him. Only then will he perceive you as an equal partner

By JustMe

January 18, 2007 09:39 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All

Kinder ^5 on that book!

How do you handle the push and pull in dating? I handle it by doing my own thing. If we click, but don’t commit, then shame on us we may both let a good thing pass.

Does it seem as if single people are apprehensive about putting all their eggs in one basket, so to speak? **I know that I am apprehensive about putting all of my eggs in one basket even though the purpose of dating is to find the right basket.

What do you think constitutes as shady dating behavior? Hmmm, is it really shady or just not being committed, and having to answer to a SO. I guess it depends on how you view the situation you are in.

How do you handle it when this happens? I just continue to do *JustMe and if things fall apart, so be it, then it was never meant to be.*

Do you think single people act shady because they have lost interest or is it perhaps par for the course in dating?

I think the shady behavior is a combonation of 2 things.

By Alvin

January 18, 2007 09:40 AM | Link to this

Dating is dumb. What’s the point of it again?

To see how women you can hit and quit before AIDS or marriage catches up with you…LOL

Musing I am catching a first class flight to Hellz, care to join me?

LorDemi was not present at the time of posting…These are the views of Alvin and Alvin only.

By confused

January 18, 2007 09:43 AM | Link to this

Great topic!

By confused

January 18, 2007 09:43 AM | Link to this

Morning All Great topic and Blog Thearpy!

By confused

January 18, 2007 09:48 AM | Link to this

Just me you are really breaking it down…Is it shady if there is no comittment…If the respect level is there meaning no one is being disrespected by any other factors in each other lives then is it shady…We go out places, we visit each other homes, even meet some family but no comittment then is it shady or just dating meaning we both are leaving options open to see other people!!!! Again how long does one tolerate this dating thang? Is there no such thing as grilfriend/boyfriend any more? Is that past tense to be on the safe side?

By GA.man

January 18, 2007 09:48 AM | Link to this

I can’t do nothing but laugh..we all told him not to marry her..she gave off some kind of crazy vibe..he said that he was hitting 3,4 times a week now it has slowed down so bad it might be weeks….DAYUMMMMMM i couldn’t just me sorry..they have only been married8 months

By Foots

January 18, 2007 09:48 AM | Link to this

Hey confused. Are you the same confused that blogged last week? How is your situation with the dude with the ex-wife?

By SlimOne

January 18, 2007 09:49 AM | Link to this

*GAman I’m good, didn’t want to roll out of bed this morning but I’m alive.

LorDemi I guess you didn’t get the sweatshirt I had overnighted via the BlogEXpress so I guess we can reschedule. It kind of hard to see in the rain anyway. lol

Musing I guess I should break this up into blog episodes. preciatecha

By MusingLee

January 18, 2007 09:51 AM | Link to this

Alvin I’m already blogging from Hellz…I assume it’s because of the handicap things I said the other day.

confused Welcome back.

JustMe That post was long too.

By confused

January 18, 2007 09:53 AM | Link to this

I hate inconsistent behavior however I can’t really controol it because we are not officially together and I am not ready to truly be alone meaning not dating because one is not availbe this weekend or when I call he does not answer you know the signs of not being available especially when he comes back and we go out to many different places plan out of country for trips and just dating? II AM SO CONFUSE!!!!i HATE DATING IT IS BITTER SWEETING GOING ON MY SECOND YEAR SINCE MY DIVORCE!!!! BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY IT IS WHAT IS IS FOR FACE VALUE!!!! NOTHING MORE NOTHING LESS!!! MY DEMANDING FACTORS HAD TO ADJUST BC I LEARNED QUICK EVERYBODY IS GOING TO DO WHAT THEY WANT TO DO AT THE END OF THE DAY COMITTED OR NOT!!!

By JustMe

January 18, 2007 09:55 AM | Link to this

GA Man haven’t forgotten about you. I was having drinks with my sister for her B-Day yesterday, 2 Margy’s put me to sleep……… I must be getting old. sigh, hanging my head

Morning DemiI am present and accounted for.

By Mo

January 18, 2007 09:57 AM | Link to this

GA Man sounds like your friend might have been exaggerating how much he was gettin goodies! Granted something could be up with ole girl too, but I just dont see how she could make that drastic of a change in only 8mnths. Still say he needs to address it, talk to her, see if something is up. Its too early in the game for that to be happening.

By confused

January 18, 2007 09:58 AM | Link to this

Same confused….No ex wife thing as far as my eye can see…we are still dating going out exchange gifts spent the weekend together going places…Just dating I guess…Foots I enjoy your wisdom!!!! I was thinking about your blog when I was watching sex and the city!!! I care about this dude a lot and he cares about me…we bothwere marry and truly aren’t ready for anything serious so I am backing up some and keeping doors open…at this point he is my main squeeze but I do see other people bc I know he does…I am not stupid know the signs of cheating been there done that so it is what is is no commitment but we do our thang!

By Jewel

January 18, 2007 09:58 AM | Link to this

I like the way you phrased this RandyT: ’is it really pulling away, or is it pulling back to think’. I agree. We all have moments within relationships where we may need to take a step back, regroup, and assess. But does pulling back to think mean you jump someone else’s bones? Does that really clear your head?

SeanJ You are advising him to commit rape? Yes, in marriage you become one. But no still means no. That solution is not in his best interest.

By AnchorMan MusingLee

January 18, 2007 09:59 AM | Link to this

Television fades in on news desk just as Musing adjust his tie and sits down.

Goodmorning…I’m MusingLee. Our top story the Atlanta Winter Storm…Reports called for the winter storm to be the big one. But as it turns out it wasn’t….There are reports that the state of Denver is calling Georgia a p-dussy. Denver says that Georgia wouldn’t know bad weather if it kicked it in the’azz…Georgia wasn’t available to respond. But his publicist says that Georgia has spoken to Denver and they have since made up.

Back to our regular scheduled blog…

Camera fades to black and Musing rips off his tie and throws his coffee cup.

By Foots

January 18, 2007 09:59 AM | Link to this

confused Yesterday, one of my friends was IMing me regarding her situation with a guy she has been seeing for 3 or 4 months now. He’s told her (a couple of times) that he doesn’t want a relationship now, but she still continues to see him. She thinks that he’s just holding back on his feelings for fear of getting hurt.

I told her that I think that if a man really wants to be with a woman, wants a relationship with her, not just relations, that he will express that sentiment within the two weeks to a month. So we polled several men we know. They said between first date to three weeks. Some guys on here said that they know within a few dates if they want to be with that woman. But in any case, a man has to be in the mindset that he wants to be settled before he gets with a particular woman. We really can’t change their minds down the road if they are not in that mindset, no matter how great we are, because it’s not about us, it’s about their timing.

So to answer your question, you have to know what you want first to know how long you will tolerate any situation. If you want a relationship and dude ain’t with it, no amount of compromise on your part will change his mind. It’s just compromising you. Just wait for a man who is on the same page you are from the get-go, relationship-minded.

By confused

January 18, 2007 10:00 AM | Link to this

I never watched Sex & the City til recenlty but it really breaks down dating!!!!! I am having a ball watching it!!! It really keeps my alter ego SUZANNE in check thatt chick is crazy about want her way!!!! LOLOLOL

By SeanJohnson

January 18, 2007 10:01 AM | Link to this

@ Kinder & Moesha…I am dead serious…marriage is different than dating..the preacher should have explained that in the counseling that her body was no longer her body…so the pssy is mine..and have NO rights..lol..if i was dude..i would have a talk with her..if she didnt feel me and things didnt change immediately..and knowing i have needs..marriage would be resolved soon after..point blank..if i have responsiblites and have to be held accountable in a marriage so should she..thats why i aint with that marriae ish right now…females want to rush to the alter to jump the broom shtick but dont understand what marriage means. its not a game..especially a pssy game..

By braves fan

January 18, 2007 10:01 AM | Link to this

women need to relax about this. if a guy doesn’t want to hang out with you, dont make him.

By aggressively witty

January 18, 2007 10:02 AM | Link to this

We need to go back to caveman days when a dude could just bust a broad over the head, drag her back to the cave and they MAKE IT WORK!!!!

By runninatl

January 18, 2007 10:06 AM | Link to this

Morning folk.

It’s funny how the dating scene is one area in the lives of many people where they act completely out of character. In most other aspects of our lives, if a random person were to exhibit unusual, inconsistent, shady or negative behavior most of us would back away or not deal with that person at all. I’m sure most of us have that one co-worker or neighbor who just seems to be a bit off, you speak in passing but avoid them and talk about them behind their back…lol.

But while dating, some people choose to tolerate so much more. Sure, there is more vested and you’re not dealing with a random person anymore but should that change how you allow yourself to be treated? We all possess a certain level of intuition and common sense yet it’s almost as if some people turn these things off when dating, for whatever reason. Or they have the suspicions and gut feelings but fail to act on them. Bottom line, you cannot control anyone else but you. You can have all the talks, buy all the gifts, and have all the hope in the world but if the person you are with decides to act up, act shady, move on, or whatever, then it’s now on you to handle your grown up business accordingly. We all have the power of choice and have a variety of choices from no tolerance to just sitting back and putting up with it all.

By confused

January 18, 2007 10:06 AM | Link to this

Foots, trust me I know!!! I knew he did not want a relationship after the third day!!!! I know, I know, I know but why is he still seeing me…If he truly didn’t care I would not be an issue…He would not entertain me at all think! EXCUSE ALL TYPOS>>>I AM WORKING AND BLOGGING!!!!

By Sexione

January 18, 2007 10:11 AM | Link to this

Demi….I told you that was too much!! lol u’re a mess!

Musing move over at The Hellz Head Table and make room for Alvin, he’s blazing thru with gasoline drawzz on…LMAO

By JustMe

January 18, 2007 10:12 AM | Link to this

Musing But was I lying?

Confused That was the point of my post. If he and I are not committed, then I really do not owe him an explanation and vice versa. Now should we choose to offer up explanations to each other, then I would expect they they would be the truth.

Musing In an attempt to appease yo cranky azz this fine rainy January morning in the year of 2007. I tried very hard to reduce the number of words, syllables and paragraphs in my post. What inquiring minds really want to know and not afraid to ask is…….. was that short enough?

LMAO

By Mo

January 18, 2007 10:12 AM | Link to this

SJ you are sumthin! I feel you in terms of satifying your mans needs but that goes both ways. You mentioned the preacher talking about that, but he should have also been mentioned that it is the man’s responsibility to satisfy the wife as well. It aint a one way street patnuh! I forgot what bible verse it is (will find it later) that talks about the man satifying his wife’s needs too!! And there are marriages that end cause somebody, hubby or wifey, feels that they arent gettin their just do in the bedroom! side note cut it with the moesha, you aint right for that one!! LOL!

By confused

January 18, 2007 10:12 AM | Link to this

We have been dating since Feb 06 Foots!!! When a man does not want it anymore he leaves and does not look back!!! Help me!!!!!!!!

By Foots

January 18, 2007 10:14 AM | Link to this

GA.man Not saying that this is the issue with ole girl, but I’ve heard that soon after marriage, a lot of folks go into a sort of depression due to unfulfilled expectations in the early marriage. They call it Post-Nuptial Depression and says it affects 1 in 10 people, mostly brides. Maybe they should look into it. There are plenty of articles about it on the web. Here’s one: http://observer.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,6903,1041708,00.html

By kinderbabe

January 18, 2007 10:14 AM | Link to this

slimone great points…gotta pick up that book.

sj i hope that at some point you acquire a more complete understanding of what it means to enter the sanctity of marriage. at least we agree on one thing, it’s not a pssy game or dk game either for that matter. i can understand how the majority of marriages are today could lead to that type of thinking. fortunately, i have male and female friends who are happily married and married for the right reasons. seek some folks like this out so you can have a more positive outlook on marriage. it helps.

By QC

January 18, 2007 10:14 AM | Link to this

confused, <<<>>> blog hug 4 U it’ll get better, Musing oh my goodness! hey Demi good points Foots

By MochaTreat

January 18, 2007 10:15 AM | Link to this

Godmorning Kinder, JustMe, GAman, Demi and Sexione!!

Kinder my sister is reading that book and when she is finished with it I plan to read it.

GAman count me in!!

SJ have you ever heard of the word rape???

Do you think single people act shady because they have lost interest or is it perhaps par for the course in dating? yes, I think people who act shady have lost interest. Some may have never been interested, but wanted to get something from them.

By kinderbabe

January 18, 2007 10:17 AM | Link to this

runnin what’s up?? how have you been? great points by the way. the power of choice is so key in dating as in all aspects of life.

By sleepingbeauty

January 18, 2007 10:18 AM | Link to this

Great topic today. I agree with all of you who said HONESTY. When you get to the exclusive point of a relationship, that’s where being shady comes into play.

Many moons ago, I had a situation like that. I saw the warning signs and ignored them. He ended up marrying one of my best friends. I’d like to think in 20 years, I’ve learned a few things, lol. I just don’t think I have the time or inclination to deal with that BS now.

By JustMe

January 18, 2007 10:20 AM | Link to this

Hey Agg Wit too funny!

Hey Runnin

By Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a closet FULL of T-shirts)

January 18, 2007 10:22 AM | Link to this

Hey Jewel

But does pulling back to think mean you jump someone else’s bones? Does that really clear your head? I have a very strong feeling about unfaithfulness (and don’t give me this shyte that we aren’t married either). For me, it is one strike and you’re out, because I have to KNOW I can trust someone. I do and I have left for this reason in the past. It has been really tempting months down the road for me when the lady comes around telling me she was wrong…but I think about it for an evening and then remember that it truly is one strike and you’re out.

There are too many fish in the sea to stay with someone you can’t trust.

Hey Runnin, haven’t seen ya in awhile. Have you started “Canvas” yet. I would follow with “When the Seatbelt Sign Comes On”. Both are excellent.

By Sitting Pretty

January 18, 2007 10:22 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All

Slim1 You hit the nail on the head with all the examples of shady behavior. My favorite is “problems with phone service”. It’s so funny how suddenly Sprint, T-Mobile, Verizon, Cingular, etc. can become so sloppy in making sure text messages, voice mails, and phone calls are delivered to the recipients in a timely manner or even at all for that matter. It’s even funnier, that this excuse is being used with the expectation of someone really believing that ish. LOL

I think that people can get shady when they start making too many assumptions about the individual they’re involved with. As a young woman, I find it ironic how some men start to jump to conclusions about expectations of the relationship. It’s also ironic that now you’ve developed psychic capabilities, when you’ve made the comment on numerous occasions prior, that “I am not a mind reader”. What I mean about assumptions is that the man or woman you’re dating formulates the idea that you’re looking to snag a husband or wife. For me, that’s not the case.Don’t pull back for fear you’re going to get brainwashed into a proposal. I’m just enjoying dating, meeting new people, and taking in each encounter as a learning experience. That’s why communication is the key! You should make sure you understand what someone wants out of a relationship, so neither parties time is wasted. Also, communicate the fact that you’ve lost interest (not in those words). Easier said than done, but such is life……

By Jewel

January 18, 2007 10:23 AM | Link to this

Foots that was great advise to Confused. I was just about to schedule her appointment with Dr. MusingLee after his anchor gig.

Demi Not to worry. She is still here. Now make me laugh! That reminds me of a show years ago called “Make Me Laugh” with the Unknown Comic. Anyone else on here old enough to remember that show?

By Foots

January 18, 2007 10:23 AM | Link to this

confused He is still seeing you because he enjoys what you offer to him with no strings attached. Time, attention, sex, whatever. It is a convenience to him. Men hate being alone, so they will spend time with women they enjoy. But that does not translate into a “relationship”, even if it looks like a “relationship”.

Believe me, I’ve been through this and had questions about it too. But no matter how much I tried to rationlize, I kept coming back to the fact that if dude wanted a relationship with me, he would have told me, regardless of whatever our interaction looks like. Seriously, reading that “He’s Just Not That Into You” book changed my dating life. Then, I learned to judge a dating situation based on what is currently going on, his words and actions and how they make me feel in the present and weigh them against what I want at that time, instead of holding out hope for what may never happen in the future. Since then, I have had much success in “keeping it moving” if dude and I were not on the same page.

By kinderbabe

January 18, 2007 10:24 AM | Link to this

mochatreat that book is so good. it is a must read. i’ll be honest that some of the chapters just down right hurt my feelings…lol. i can be somewhat of an optimist and try to see the good in everything. some folks just make it so hard…lol. showin their azz and stuff…lol

By confused

January 18, 2007 10:25 AM | Link to this

Good points about post married but I am beyond that the first person I dated post taught me that was what I was in…Trust I don’t want a husband I can’t even be a wife at this point!!!! Anyway….

By confused

January 18, 2007 10:27 AM | Link to this

I am just trying to get with this dating thing!!!!! I am still learning my myself!!!! Marriage for me will be about 45ish or better and I am 27…Trust me I truly want to date and be secure with me first!!!! I did the whole thing backwards anyway and now paying for it!!!

By kinderbabe

January 18, 2007 10:28 AM | Link to this

i feel you randyt on the unfaithfulness. that is inexcusable, period! like you said, who has time to waste.

By confused

January 18, 2007 10:30 AM | Link to this

The first person I dated thought I was a nut but I was looking for that husband factor but I checked myself and we are still friends and laugh about til this day!!!!! I know my flaws just can’t get the hang of dating bc I never did!!1 I married my college sweetheart and we were together since 99 so I am playing catch up right now

By SeanJohnson

January 18, 2007 10:30 AM | Link to this

@ Mo and Kinder…asked your preacher about it ….if he is real…he will break it down..when u get married…your body becomes your husbands…i aint the church type..but dont have be slanging scriptures off in here…

@ Mocha Treat…so are you saying you can rape your wife??

By SlimOne

January 18, 2007 10:36 AM | Link to this

Sitting Pretty I believe that phone service excuse is the one I get most often. I even dated a successful business man that not only had two phones (with different carriers) but one of them was a blackberry. So my response to his phone svc excuses were, if you’re having that many issues with your service provider you may need to seek another carrier. That’s bad for business…and left it at that.

kinder I’m so guilty of trying to see the good in folks and give too many chances. That’s a work in progress for me now.

By MusingLee

January 18, 2007 10:37 AM | Link to this

Shady…Lets examine this…the word Shade is defined as a comparative darkness or obscurity owing to interception of the rays of light. It’s also defined as a place sheltered from the sun. So if someone is Shady, they are obstructing the light of truth, or casting a shadow of lies over you to shield you from the light of truth. The best way to return to the light is to step from under the shadow of lies cast down by this person. Return to the daylight and only deal with the transparent.

Dayummm that was deep

By sleepingbeauty

January 18, 2007 10:39 AM | Link to this

SJ I believe that runs both ways!! You want the low down, go directly to the source. 1 Corinthians 13….and Ephesians 6 I believe directly discuss marriage. Don’t rely just on your preacher.

By Jewel

January 18, 2007 10:40 AM | Link to this

Mo I just dont see how she could make that drastic of a change in only 8mnths. I do not know if you are male or female, but that was not a drastic change. It was part of the game plan. Sex was the tool she used to dupe him into marriage. My bigger question, and to some degree shock, is why he allowed himself to be turned out like that.

Hello Mr. RunninAtl. You are right about not tolerating negative behavior in other areas of our lives. I fired a client last year for that very reason.

By Jake

January 18, 2007 10:40 AM | Link to this

What up blog: in the words of the immortal P. Diddy “take dat, take dat”

LMAO@SJ, take the “puddy”. She wrong for not fufilling her wifely duties, ya’ll can disagree if you want, but its her duty to give him the puddy…its in the good book…LOL

JustMe No commitment = do not have to answer to you about where I am/have been and who I am/have been with and what I am doing/have done.

Ladies, ladies, ladies, this statement can be viewed on a lot of levels, but here is one to hold on to. I AM NOT YOUR CHILD. I think at times in relationships, women become to outrageous with the 5 W’s. Who,What,When,Where, and Why.

If you didn’t ask so much, maybe a person would volunteer the information. Why is it that, when we are connected, dudes cannot have any peace away from his lady. I think the fact that women know how few good men are available, when they are involved, they sabotage their relationships by being overbearing. At least that has been my experience.

now standing at the top of the balcony like Scarface ready to shoot back.

By Mo

January 18, 2007 10:42 AM | Link to this

SJ been married, know all about what you are talking about. All I’m saying is, it works both ways in terms of satisfying one another. You cant force someone to do something they dont want to, not even a spouse. But you can get the hellz on, if you feel like you aint gettin your jus do. No need to catch a case behind some sex. Like I said before, he needs to talk with old girl and find out the issue. And NO you cannot rape your wife.

By kinderbabe

January 18, 2007 10:42 AM | Link to this

sj i have talked to my minister about what biblicly constitutes a good marriage and SHE said that the whole idea of submission is submitting to the love and the will of God which means having peace, love, honor and respect for each other. my body will never be my husband’s and his is not mine. our bodies belong to GOD which is where the indwelling spirit lies…and if we love each other, then we will show it by respecting that indwelling spirit we house. our bodies are our temples to be upheld and respected. anyone who respects and loves me wouldn’t want to TAKE anything from me, nor would i deprive the man i love of ANYTHING and vice versa. marriage is give and take. when love is present and paramount it doesn’t have to be shown and just ONE WAY. preoccupation w/sex and how much you get it can be quite one-dimensional and immature. if everything is going well, shouldn’t be any problems w/that. lack of sex is often a symptom of a REAL PROBLEM. you feel me??

By Foots

January 18, 2007 10:43 AM | Link to this

confused You’ll get the hang of it! :-) The key to it is that you have to be honest with yourself about what you want and look for situations that provide that. If you find yourself in situations that don’t provide that, keep it moving. And don’t let feelings keep you in any situation that doesn’t match what you want, cause feelings for another person can die quickly if you stop feeding them.

By sleepingbeauty

January 18, 2007 10:43 AM | Link to this

Running Great Point!!! I think that’s because people, in some cases, are afraid to be alone, so they put up with so much more than they should.

By LorDemi

January 18, 2007 10:45 AM | Link to this

SlimOne WTH!!!??? You know the BlogEXpress is slow doing the winter!!! LOL

JustMe I see I see, another well writen report.

runninatl sup

Sexione Can I at lease call once a month…Work with me here sista, Dayum!!! LOL

By sleepingbeauty

January 18, 2007 10:45 AM | Link to this

Wow Musing I’m new to this blog, but I’m impressed!!! Very well stated!

By Mo

January 18, 2007 10:46 AM | Link to this

MusingLee loving that post defining shady!! Too much!! LOL

By confused

January 18, 2007 10:46 AM | Link to this

Foots, you are right again and at this point I enjoy him too just have to take emotions out it and role with the punches if I am going to entertain it! I do need some thearpy Jewel and might schedule an appointment today!!! Anyway I am still not ready to be truely single…It’s like I am scared of my shadow or something!!!

By JustMe

January 18, 2007 10:46 AM | Link to this

Morning Mocha

Jewel I remeber that show. Did you ever watch Benny Hill?

Confused I have found that having and keeping at least 3 potential what-ever-I-want-them-to-be-to-me’s is a sure fired way to catch up on dating and not get too caught up on any one dude.

By kinderbabe

January 18, 2007 10:47 AM | Link to this

slimone chile we’re on the same page w/that one. i am a work in progress w/that too. always seeing the sunny side.

musing that’s deep brotha. gotta give you a poetry snap, snap and a beret for that one…lol for real, that was a great comment. i’m feelin that…

By SlimOne

January 18, 2007 10:47 AM | Link to this

Slim standing in line to sign up for Prof. Musings class

By Mo

January 18, 2007 10:49 AM | Link to this

Jewel I am a female, I just cannot imagine going into something like marriage and not expecting, at the very least, for sex to be a big issue. You are right, he go duped or either he expected to get more than he was already getting. kinderbabe ^5 on your post. I said it earlier, would like to think there is a bigger issue at play there….

By runninatl

January 18, 2007 10:49 AM | Link to this

Hey kinder, all is good, holding it down on my end as usual. Hope all is good with you.

Sup JustMe, aka leader of the female long azz posts crew…lol.

Sup Randyt. We have some people on the steering committee previewing “Canvas” and “When the seat belt sign comes on” right now. Others have also mentioned that the latter was great and would fit in well with what the company is going through right now so I plan to preview that one next week.

LMAO @ SJ slangin scriptures while takin the coochie.

By SeanJohnson

January 18, 2007 10:50 AM | Link to this

@ Sleepingbooty…I dont rely on a preacher…only been to church a few times in the last 20 years…i was just telling them to ask THEIR preacher since most folks dont pick up a book for themselves and get understanding unless its a trashy romance novel, essence or gossip

By confused

January 18, 2007 10:51 AM | Link to this

LOOK AT MY HOROSCOPE FOR TODAY!!! The rules of the waiting game are easy to learn, but a little harder to put into practice: One, bide your time and don’t push things. Two, don’t obsess over what you can’t control. Three, repeat one and two. !!!

By Jewel

January 18, 2007 10:51 AM | Link to this

Thanks RandyT. Please forgive me. I half expected you to give the male version of that answer…But trust is the primary issue for me. I have to wonder how many times did he lie to me when I trusted him? I will never get that answer. Certainly not from him. I spent 10 years with a man who was a serial cheater. I was younger and committed to my own faithfulness. So, one day I woke up and moved on. Now, I am a fabulous 40 with absolutely no time or energy for foolishness.

By kinderbabe

January 18, 2007 10:52 AM | Link to this

jake you’re right. there is a such thing as too many questions. no one wants to feel like they’re being interrogated. when someone is feeling you, they naturally tell you about their day and what not, not every detail lol…but generally how things are going. when you get to know someone, you learn these things w/o asking, if you pay attention.

By Foots

January 18, 2007 10:52 AM | Link to this

Great points runnin. And yes Musing, that was deep! LOL!!

By confused

January 18, 2007 10:54 AM | Link to this

LOOK AT MY HOROSCOPE FOR TODAY!!! The rules of the waiting game are easy to learn, but a little harder to put into practice: One, bide your time and don’t push things. Two, don’t obsess over what you can’t control. Three, repeat one and two. !!!

By For Real

January 18, 2007 10:54 AM | Link to this

What’s up group. Interesting topic diva. I agree with most of the blog but women got the Jennifer Holiday mentality. *And You, And You, And You gonna LOVE ME!!!!!!

By Alvin

January 18, 2007 10:55 AM | Link to this

ring tone: I like it Hot Hot Hot!

Hello, this is Alvin. I am on a first class flight to Hellz and I like to place an order for Hot wingz and fries…What do you means there is no food service!!??…Do you know who I is???!!!….This IS first class isn’t!!!??…Let me speak to Jesus!!

sounding like a broke peacher

Hello Jesus???…

By Mo

January 18, 2007 10:56 AM | Link to this

runninatl I am LMAO @ you for talking bout SJ slangin scriptures while takin coochie!! Classic!!

By Mo

January 18, 2007 10:57 AM | Link to this

runninatl I am LMAO @ you for talking bout SJ slangin scriptures while takin coochie!! Classic!!

By sleepingbeauty

January 18, 2007 10:59 AM | Link to this

Lol @ SJ You have a point there!!

By Foots

January 18, 2007 10:59 AM | Link to this

I agree with you For Real. It’s just not worth the energy, too draining to have that attitude.

By Sexione

January 18, 2007 11:01 AM | Link to this

Dang, I can barely keep up today!!!

confused…Foots hit the nail on the head @ 10:23 & 10:43!!

Jake I need exra winks and kisses today and can we throw in a backrub….it’s straight crazy over here!!!

By GA.man

January 18, 2007 11:01 AM | Link to this

Ok well here it is ladies…..if you marry someone and you pull back the puddy for whatever reason..this is wrong it is wrong for the guy to pull back as well..if there is a problem then talk about it… this is the mess that leads to someone cheating and now instead of confusion going on….someone is hurt and it always seems to come up Now many say there is a shortage of good guys then why would you treat him like this

By kinderbabe

January 18, 2007 11:02 AM | Link to this

alvin you know you clownin…lol

By MochaTreat

January 18, 2007 11:03 AM | Link to this

@SJ You are kidding right?? Yes, you can rape your wife. You can even be proscuted for it. No means no…I don’t know what is going on in their relationship, but I have a friend that was raped and she had all type of issues with sex. When she got married it went from 2-3 a week to 2-3 a month. She never told him what happened to her all those years ago and as a result of that it tore their marriage apart.

They need to sit down and talk to find out what is going on…they may even need the seek a minister or counselor.

By LorDemi

January 18, 2007 11:03 AM | Link to this

confused First, get your hand off the Caps lock button. Second, stop yelling…U sound lika angry woman. Third, stop dating for a while and learn to spend time with yourself. As of right now, you’re bringing your past into your future relationship…that ain’t kool!!

By SlimOne

January 18, 2007 11:03 AM | Link to this

Off topic Anyone checked out that play For Better or For Worse at the Civic Center?

By purplepassion

January 18, 2007 11:05 AM | Link to this

Hello everyone Confused you will have to cut all tides with him. It may not be easy in the beginning but to go thru another year of irregularities is not healthy for you. You can not change a person or their feelings. If he stated that he does no want a relationship take it as face value. I “dated” a guy who told me the samething. He expressed that he was not ready for a relationship but was always calling me to spend time with him. He introduced me to his family and all and get this, his mother told me that her son would be a good man for me. I’m looking at her like WTFreak??? I haven’t asked him to this day what was that all about since he expressed his feelings.

By MochaTreat

January 18, 2007 11:08 AM | Link to this

@ Kinder ^5. I feel you all the way!! I lot of women and men confuse the word submission and take it out of it’s context. I am glad you set the record straight!!

By sleepingbeauty

January 18, 2007 11:08 AM | Link to this

Lol, do guys hold the dk back GAMan?? Sorry, I know you’re trying to make a serious point. I just found that amusing.

By confused

January 18, 2007 11:09 AM | Link to this

Wan’t yelling even it it means it just a little excited and thanks for the advice LoDemi!!!!

By kinderbabe

January 18, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this

GAman to piggyback off your statement…sex can’t be used to keep someone and sex surely ain’t the reason for breaking up. it’s a symptom of the real problem. and ladies and men need to realize how you attain is how you maintain so be careful what you use to get somebody b/c you’ll have to keep that ish up whether it’s healthy, unhealthy or whatever.

By confused

January 18, 2007 11:11 AM | Link to this

Explain how I am bringing my past in the future LoriDemi…Now you know I am confused!!! lolol

By runninatl

January 18, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this

LOL @ Musing getting all deep.

“I fired a client last year for that very reason.”

Jewel you bring up an interesting perspective here. For those of us who are business owners, have children, or relatives we cherish and are very protective over, we have little tolerance for shady activity. It’s relatively easy for a business owner to cut off a shady client or employee, easy for a parent to ban their child from seeing someone shady or harmful, we won’t hesitate to keep a shady person away from a loved one or life long friend, but we will allow people with those same attributes to linger around us. There has to me more to it than just people not wanting to be alone.

By Dr. Professor Mr. MusingLee MD, Ph.D, Obi-1-Kenobi

January 18, 2007 11:15 AM | Link to this

Welcome class…The first lesson of today is neva, eva, eva, neva, eva, eva take a wooden nickel….That means never fall for the Okey-doke…The Snatch and Grab, the look over there while I escape.

Look class! (Musing points and er’body turns their head)

It’s a buttahead!

Professor Musing jumps through the first floor window as if he was being chased by a crazed gunman………On the chalkboard it reads “Er’body gets an F for the day”

By confused

January 18, 2007 11:16 AM | Link to this

Easy said than done with truly being alone!!! If we are all honest at one point in our life we put our self on the backburner to be with somebody so it’s my time to wine!!!! Anyway that growth comes with time and I know it won’t be over night and I I ain charge of starting the process just not emotionally ready!!! But great advice from all!!!

By Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a closet FULL of T-shirts)

January 18, 2007 11:17 AM | Link to this

Jewel

Thanks for your comments. No ‘male’ or ‘female’ separation on the trust issue…the rules should be the same for both in my opinion. I will not tolerate a ‘cheater’ and I expect the same from myself. If I cannot trust someone then “f&&k them, if they cannot trust me, then it is not real anyway, and I will leave rather than hang on. I absolutely will not be involved for one more day with someone I discover I can’t trust. I can provide signed affadavits from women in my past to confirm this if needed for verification about how fast I hit the door,LOL.

By Jake

January 18, 2007 11:17 AM | Link to this

Sexione Poor baby…winks, kisses, and put your feet up here in my lap. Now tell papa all about it…LOL

I can’t keep up either.

By Jewel

January 18, 2007 11:18 AM | Link to this

Okay…the blog cannot become a Bible Study day. But Kinderbabe, the Bible does tell the husband and the wife that their bodies are not their own. Couples are admonished not to withhold intimacy (unless they equally consent for a period of time for spiritual reasons) to avoid temptation.

By kinderbabe

January 18, 2007 11:18 AM | Link to this

thanks for the dap mochatreat lol a lot of times people don’t acknowledge where the real power comes from. i don’t need any man trying to strong arm me b/c they have a piece of paper…lol…talkin’ bout “gal, i paid good money for you” lmao. what the f/k?? i ain’t property mofo!! lol i’s free now!

By MusingLee

January 18, 2007 11:21 AM | Link to this

Yea, m/f’s runnin is back! demi grab the Hummer, I’ll get the video camera.

Instigators, Mount up!

Now bumping Warren G’s “Regulators”

By For Real

January 18, 2007 11:21 AM | Link to this

Marriage ain’t no joke. It is work (something you have to do everyday). Most people (by that I mean ladies) see marriage as the finish line (whew I made it) instead of the beginning. They just stop doing the things they did before they got married thus the man stop doing the things he did before the marriage. Ladies, why is so difficult to be a freak for your husband? What better time is there to be a freak? He is committed to you and you are committed to him. Take off the gloves explore each other sexually. Fulfill some fantasies. Have some hot monkey sex. Ok, that’s it for my Dr. Feels advice…

By Dr. Kym aka Rested and Relax

January 18, 2007 11:24 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

A few random thoughts on the topics floating around..

I think Dr Randy said it best single people have a tendancy to pull back, or correction should pull back and do self testing to see if they are really ready for taking things a bit further, and if that is what a person is doing then the partner(regardless of how hurt they maybe) should respect that individuals need to pull back on the reigns. Why? So that it doesnt lead to miscommunications, interpertation, about shady behavior. Not every person is willing to communicate feelings and lets face it they lose interest and are not sure how to say so, but communication is key. How do you handle it? Well you could become the stalker, or leave vmails with threats, or you can acknowledge your feelings, express them if you can, and then let it go. Bagagge is heavy..and at some point you have to sit them down.

As for the married folks not having sex and they have been married only 8 months, sounds like they need to attitude adjustments on both sides. Him for expecting sex the way it was when they were single and living a different lifestyle and sex now when they are married. GAMan didnt say it was non-existant just not like it was before. But if they are to the point of seeking counsling then I suggest someone other than the minister at church..why cause they need an objective, neutral, opinion. Not the pastor who is going to quote scripture, not family who no matter how they try will take one side or the other, but a neutral party who will hear them both out and will help them reach an effective solution.

Off Topic

I dont know when I have had so much fun this NFL Season, divorces, steroid use, drunk driving, gunshot death(tragic, coach firings(needed) and now Vicky is smuggling weed in the airport.

After Feburary 4th what will I do for entertainment?

By Foots

January 18, 2007 11:28 AM | Link to this

GA.man Now many say there is a shortage of good guys then why would you treat him like this

Did you see my 10:14 post? Chick might be depressed. Or sick. Or tired. Or sick and tired. We can’t really judge whether she is “withholding” out of spite or the “Gotcha BEEYOTCH!!” syndrome until they deal with possible physical or emotional issues she might be facing. Did it start out of the blue or after a disagreement between them?

By kinderbabe

January 18, 2007 11:28 AM | Link to this

musing you just never run out of material…lol

jewel i understand what you’re saying but i’m looking at it from a non-ownership perspective. we have to learn not to be so literal in our interpretation of text. i was not supporting a husband or wife w/holding intimacy. i was speaking on a deeper spiritual level of what it means to submit to each other. i am not just blowing smoke here, i am active in my spirtual development.:)

By SeanJohnson

January 18, 2007 11:28 AM | Link to this

@ Jewel…thanks ..

By For Real

January 18, 2007 11:29 AM | Link to this

@kinder naw I want a stroke for every dollar I paid..

Ring = $3,000 = 3,000 strokes

Honeymoon = $5,000 = 5,000 strokes

Not we don’t have to do this all in one night…. unless you want to

By Jewel

January 18, 2007 11:33 AM | Link to this

Confused Take some time to think about the things you enjoy. And, make plans to do some of those things alone. It is important to become comfortable and confident in your own skin. You are young, but at a prime time to learn about you. This process will help you define what you want in a man…and what you deserve. Truly, being alone is not as bad as being miserable and confused.

JustMe Oh! Benny Hill was outrageous!

By SlimOne

January 18, 2007 11:34 AM | Link to this

Musing I think I may be entitled to a 60% refund on that class.

By Foots

January 18, 2007 11:34 AM | Link to this

For Real Fulfill some fantasies. LOL at the “monkey sex”!! But for real, my boyfriend and I have discussed that when we get married, we WILL have a “Pole Room” in the basement with a deadbolt lock on it to keep out folks that take wrong turns trying to find the bathroom. Y’all know how they do! We have the whole design in our heads already, complete with the clothing rack where he will choose the desired outfit of the evening, the bar, the surround sound, the stage lighting and the mirrors. I’m all for keeping the love life LIVE!!

By NCgirlfromATL

January 18, 2007 11:37 AM | Link to this

runnin I agree w/ you from a business perspective. I have fired clients in the past for lying to me, for asking me to lie for them, and for ignoring my advice, but then expecting me to pull their fat out of the fire when the ish blows up in their face.

But, I think from a dating perspective, sometimes we’re more willing to put up w/ shady behavior for a minute, in the hopes that it was just a one-time thing, or that they really didn’t mean it, or some other lame reason to justify that person’s behavior so that the relationship (or the sex) continues. I have been guilty of that in the past. After some bad experiences, I have become much more proactive about walking away from shade.

Uh uh! Don’t start throwing shade! You might get some on my fine suede coat! LOL!

By Tazzee

January 18, 2007 11:38 AM | Link to this

wow I can’t believe SeanJ is advocating rape!

Yes, a husband and wife are advised not to withhold from one another as Jewel said, but that doesn’t mean if it happens then the spouse is allowed to take it!

Wow - I’m speechless…

I just pray SeanJ and those that advocate taking it NEVER EVER EVER get married.

By JustMe

January 18, 2007 11:39 AM | Link to this

Confused What’s your zodiac sign? That could be JustMe too.

By confused

January 18, 2007 11:39 AM | Link to this

SlimOne…going to see the play Sat…

By Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a closet FULL of T-shirts)

January 18, 2007 11:39 AM | Link to this

Sidebar to JustMe

Benny Hill was great. He could say more without saying anything than anyone I have ever seen. One skit I remember, he was a painter or sign guy or something. The sign said “The rapist” he looked at it, and pushed the letters together on the sign, and they then said “Therapist”. I’ve been leary of therapists ever since, because of that sign. LOL

By LorDemi

January 18, 2007 11:41 AM | Link to this

…thanks for the advice LoDemi!!!!

Confused ouch…it’s LorDemi LOL

By confused

January 18, 2007 11:42 AM | Link to this

Leo baby!!!!!

By Wise Diva

January 18, 2007 11:42 AM | Link to this

ummm, aside from health problems, I don’t care HOW mad I am at my husband, that better not disrupt things in the bedroom…in fact, that is probably the best time to let out some frustration, LOL. I’ll bust in the bedroom with the black rubber suit and a whip, LOL. I could still be mad about whatever after we are done, LOL. “you’re dismissed”

By confused

January 18, 2007 11:42 AM | Link to this

Leo JustMe!!!!!

By kinderbabe

January 18, 2007 11:43 AM | Link to this

forreal for real, i see you are dedicated to being a fool in progress..lol. you can have that. like i said, i’s free! that ring and ish that’s dowry bruh. you ain’t got no cows, chickens or goats do you?? if not, then rangin (and i mean w/the ring) is the least you can do. but i digress…it ain’t even about that.

By LorDemi

January 18, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this

Anyway I am still not ready to be truely single…It’s like I am scared of my shadow or something!!!

Confused how can you be a great girlfriend, if you don’t enjoy spending time by yourself months at a time?

Is it even possible?

By runninatl

January 18, 2007 11:45 AM | Link to this

“Easy said than done with truly being alone!!! If we are all honest at one point in our life we put our self on the backburner to be with somebody so it’s my time to wine!!!!”

Hmmm……but if you choose to put yourself on the backburner and stay there for another person do you really have any right to complain? Just askin…

LMAO @ For real and “I want a stroke for every dollar I paid..” More evidence of the pimp/ho society we live in…lol.

Sup Demi.

“Baggage is heavy..and at some point you have to sit them down”….

Awww….look at Kym gettin all poetic and droppin knowledge, you go boo! As far as the NFL nonsense this season, I have to go back to that Dave Chapelle episode when he said “I knew they should have never given you %&$# money!!*”…lol. Why can’t your people act right Kym?

By Alvin

January 18, 2007 11:46 AM | Link to this

GA.man What if she isn’t enjoying the sex with buddy and was faking it along? That would sucks

By Jewel

January 18, 2007 11:47 AM | Link to this

Musing One deep thought and you now have FIVE degrees?! LOL!

Runnin I think it is a combination of loneliness, fear of failure, and hopes that things will change.

By confused

January 18, 2007 11:48 AM | Link to this

Ok Jewel…That’s a start! I am trying to mustard up to go see Dreamgirls alone and it’s been like pulling teeth to convince myself I can do it!!! I am though…I am going and it will be alone…Will keep you posted! Good looking out Jewel…Keep the advice coming!!! I will get through this and THIS TOO SHALL PAST!!! (NOT YELLING EITHER) lolol

By kinderbabe

January 18, 2007 11:49 AM | Link to this

foots ^5 to you for keeping it spicy. see that’s healthy, i like that.:)

By Professor MusingLee

January 18, 2007 11:53 AM | Link to this

Day2

Welcome back class, yesterday er’body got an F for falling for the Okey-Doke. Todays lesson is always, always protect yourself at all times.

Walking past a non-attentive SlimOne’s desk…..Musing suddenly pulls out a stack of hundreds, slamming them on SlimOne’s desk

SlimOne: What the Hellz is that Prof. Musing?

Musing: This is the check you tried to stop yesterday after class m/f…I cashed that beaoch before you even showed up yesterday….Protect Yourself at all times M/F.

Musing leaves the class with a pimp hat and cane…on the board it reads “Today Everyone gets an A except for those who tried to stop thier class check.

By SlimOne

January 18, 2007 11:54 AM | Link to this

Confused I agree with LorDemi. If you don’t learn to be happy by yourself you surely can’t be 100% happy with someone else. You’ll always cling to that person to fill that happiness void whenever you and the guy is apart. I’ve had to go through this and I know its hard to see the forest from the trees But right now you need to enjoy this nature walk. Take your time, appreciate the view, learn to breath that fresh air and experience your growth from CONFUSED to simply FUSED….to unite or blend into a whole

By SeanJohnson

January 18, 2007 11:55 AM | Link to this

@ Taz…come on now…dont turn this into a wizard hunt…ya boy Sean Jizzle would NEVER have to take it…because i wouldnt be in a situation like that period…playing a lil cat and mouse can be okay in a relationship because some women want you to be aggressive to switch it up..some even argue so u can aggressively take it…its a ploy..but if dudes wife is playing the ration game..but is her beliefs in marriage conflicts her body being his and his body being hers..then dude should dip..when i get married the lucky bride will know…thats my pssy case closed…i am old school

By kinderbabe

January 18, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this

runnin you’re so right about the pimp/ho society…so sad.

By JustMe

January 18, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this

Foots I’m all for keeping the love life LIVE!! That’s what I’m talking about! I can not wait to unleash this freak on my HUSBAND! not my boyfriend

By confused

January 18, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this

LoriDem is not possible…I will get there with time!!!! Your point has been well taken!!!! Thanks Again!!!!

By LorDemi

January 18, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this

MusingLee well ahead of you bruh…I’ve already don my cape’n’tight’n’Red dog’s boots

thinking: we’re gonna start some ish

Easing Hummer on 26’ into Borg’s Starship

By Dr. Kym aka Rested and Relax

January 18, 2007 11:57 AM | Link to this

Runnin Now you know that fool is not my people, we have our little nutjob running around without a helmet playing speed racer…not to mention Santonio Holmes who was apparently trying to get his own episode of COPS. Nawww the Fakecons got themselves a bright one in that Vicky. Bright, Itchy, and high what a combo.

By GA.man

January 18, 2007 11:57 AM | Link to this

When you decide to marry..it does say in the vows for better or worse i agree with you all that some form of talking might help….we all were talking last night and as you know if you are close friends it will affect the group as a whole..i just hope and pray that it works out..i don’t like divorce but sometimes it is better than living unhappy

wow if she was faking it wow that would be a bad reality come true..i hope not(again)

still no matter what getting yo freak on shouldn’t be stopped

By Jewel

January 18, 2007 11:58 AM | Link to this

Kinderbabe I agree with the majority of your comment. I carved out that one statement you made and did not want that point overlooked. IMHO, I think we forget that God is very much concerned that we live balanced lives, spirit, soul and body. Misinterpretations of scripture has put the woman on the bottom (no pun intended) for centuries. We have to be careful not to swing the pendulum too far to the left and still miss the true meanings.

By MusingLee

January 18, 2007 12:05 PM | Link to this

The Dungeon

Musing wonders into a secret part of the house while visiting Foots…

Musing:Where the hellz and I? This ishh is crazy in the room. Is that a Hump-a-Tron 4000, that’s illegal in 56 states…It’s illegal in states we haven’t even founded yet.

Suddenly Foots shows up wearing a black leather suit with a white crouch and zippers, holding a police baton

Foots: You ain’t neva leaving this room to tell anyone what you saw here.

Musing tries to jump through a window but it’s not even real, it’s a painted on window…he falls down with a concussion.

By SlimOne

January 18, 2007 12:05 PM | Link to this

In Professor MusingLee’s class

Slimone: laughing hysterically as Prof leaves class

Student 1: SlimOne you sure are laughing a lot over there after you just got dissed in front of the whole class

SlimOne: Me? Dissed? Nah, I’m outta here. Little does Prof know, that was a Publisher Clearing house check…not mine….muah ha ha ha (evil laugh)

Slim gathers all the bills and heads out thinking…Protect yourself at all times

By LorDemi

January 18, 2007 12:05 PM | Link to this

Runnin’n’Musin did y’all catch Wise busting into the room wearing a rubber suit and crackin’ her whip?…Awww ish!!

By Mo

January 18, 2007 12:05 PM | Link to this

confused once you start doing some things alone (movies, etc) you will feel so much better. Great way to get to know self. Its a huge step though, I will admit, have some friends that still cant do it and I am 31 yrs old! Foots agree with your 11:28am post, if old girl is going through something that could be the problem. In my last relationship, he was being verbally/emotionally abusive so sex wasnt even a thought. They need to get some help…

By LorDemi

January 18, 2007 12:06 PM | Link to this

Runnin’n’Musin did y’all catch Wise busting into the room wearing a rubber suit and crackin’ her whip?…Awww ish!!

By Chocolate Peach

January 18, 2007 12:06 PM | Link to this

Good Afternoon Bloggers!!

Interesting comments….. I’m with Kinder….on that 1st post.

Musing, as usual U R funny. INSTALLMENTS..I like that one

Someone PLEASE pass Alvin the bullet proof vest.

I’ll catch up l8tr

By Single and Lovin It

January 18, 2007 12:06 PM | Link to this

I think the most interesting part of dating is finding ways NOT to play “the game”. I went to a course in Massachusetts at The Option Institute called Never settle Singles.

It totally changed the way I look at other people, especially as potential mates. It helped me to see that there is nothing wrong with me, or with me as a single person. There is only something wrong with thinking that I “need” someone else to complete me or to feel empowered.

As a result of what I learned in the program, I no longer sacrifice who I am for that other person. I don’t do what the dating books say to do to “make someone” attracted to me. Yes, I am still single, and am HAPPY being that way. I still date, but if in the first few minutes I know in my gut that this person is not for me, I know how to feel good enough about myself to say “no thanks”. Then I walk away. Alone.

They have another Never Settle Singles course coming up on Valentines Weekend. I would highly recommend spending your time and money on that course, rather than on a new dress, drinks at the bar, and your endless search. It will be WELL worth it.

Their website is www.option.org

By confused

January 18, 2007 12:07 PM | Link to this

Thanks SlimOne, are you a Leo? Ment This too shall pass…anyway

By confused

January 18, 2007 12:09 PM | Link to this

Oh my bad!!! LorDemi Sorry!!!!!

By Foots

January 18, 2007 12:09 PM | Link to this

confused They are definitely right about learning to spend time alone. My growth came when I started being able to go on vacations by myself. I was thinking that since I was able to travel for work without thinking twice alone, then surely I could do it for me.

Going to the movies alone is a great start, so is going to lunch or dinner. As a matter of fact, I’m going to see Dreamgirls myself on Saturday, by myself. When you start projecting that confidence in yourself to the outward world, who knows what (or who) you will attract? Especially if you walk around with a little smile on your face. Folks be wondering “dang, I wonder what it is about her that keeps her smiling like that”.

If you go see the movie, let us know. Step out your shadow, girl!! :-)

By Sexione

January 18, 2007 12:10 PM | Link to this

Jake We’re preparing for the auditors on Monday and I just want to SCREAM!!!! And then, I can drop kick all of these lazy and not so intelligent azz folks who are supposed to know what they’re doing!!!! Ok, now removing knee length stiletto suede boots so you can rub my feet…and work your way up to the back Ahhhhhh…..

And just for the record….some men tend to wane in the bedroom too (be it before or after marriage). And I’m saying right now I expect as much wang as I want….better not be trying to hold out on a sista or I will be p**!!!! LMAO

By LorDemi

January 18, 2007 12:10 PM | Link to this

Runnin’n’Musin did y’all catch Wise busting into the room wearing a rubber suit and crackin’ her whip?…Awww ish!!

By Wise Diva

January 18, 2007 12:12 PM | Link to this

Amen! “Single and Lovin It” - and thanks for that link.

By Alvin

January 18, 2007 12:13 PM | Link to this

Misinterpretations of scripture has put the woman on the bottom (no pun intended) for centuries.

Like, husbands honor your wives and lift her up at all time…

By JustMe

January 18, 2007 12:14 PM | Link to this

Musing DO NOT READ! I am blasting yo azz in this post!

Confused My blog bud’s are handing you precious, priceless advice. Please write it down and read as often as you need to in order to gain an understanding that being alone with you and loving you is the only way you can prepare yourself to be in a LTR. If you can not stand to spend time alone, you will drive your man away with clingyness (so what if it’s not a real word - BITE ME - LOL). I suggest you do a few things to boost your self esteem.

Musing Sike yo mind yo booty shine I saw you on TV on Channel 9

By Sexione

January 18, 2007 12:16 PM | Link to this

JustMe…I can not wait to unleash this freak on my HUSBAND! ^5^5^5 You sound like me guuurrllll!!!! He better be ready!!!

By confused

January 18, 2007 12:17 PM | Link to this

I will Foots, and I will smile when I do and won’t look so confused or automatically depressed….My pity party is coming to an end and yes the dude I am with, with time will be dismissed because I don’t like this feeling I have just like what we do and I know that there is someone with the whole package…Just got to get me right first….I am going to the movies Sunday after the Football games!!! I am a huge sports fan however I wasted time last week, after the games Sunday I could have went to the movies but was scared and talked myself out of it but I know I can do this and will!!!!

By SlimOne

January 18, 2007 12:17 PM | Link to this

Confused Nah I’m a GEMINI :-D

By Alvin

January 18, 2007 12:18 PM | Link to this

Once moment, Jesus

Chocolate Peach for what? I am already on a first class flight to Hellz…

Hey Jesus, I am back online…Are you sure yo daddy can’t get me some hot wingz and fries…I thought he can do all things…

By confused

January 18, 2007 12:21 PM | Link to this

I do the bar thing and believe it or not I can go to those places just not couple oriented places…but anyway I am taking the advice and will learn from it…I have short realist goals for my 36month plan before I am thirty nothing unrealistic but loving me is apart of it…I want to be a secure 30yr old bc I do have a lot to offer and I am still behind on that but trying to bring it out!!! Trust you guys will see my growth…I have grown since the divorce…trust me!! I am not a dumb chick!!!

By LorDemi

January 18, 2007 12:23 PM | Link to this

Confused you will get nothing but love from here, unless you’re Avin.

Alvin I heard that demi…Even if I can’t hear ish else, I heard that…Demi is tripping Jesus…Are there Sista fine-fines in Hellz?…Oh, they’re all burning huh?…That sucks

By JustMe

January 18, 2007 12:27 PM | Link to this

LorDemi I would pass you a fire extinguisher, but I don’t think it would save yo azz this time - LOL

SexiOne ^5 backatcha You feel me. I truly do wanna get my swerve on, but I just can’t let Mr. Right Now get all the goodies just because.

By ChrisD

January 18, 2007 12:32 PM | Link to this

What do I do about shady spouse behavior? My wife is plain nuts…

By Jake

January 18, 2007 12:32 PM | Link to this

Sexione After the backrub, can I get you to put those boots back on and???…

For those handing out book names and the like, if a woman wrote it, don’t read it. Only read material about the opposite sex that was written by someone of the opposite sex. Real insight is priceless.

By QC

January 18, 2007 12:33 PM | Link to this

Demi you’re flying again!! yiippee! i hope you have a very nice water proof cape & hat

By Dr. Kym aka Rested and Relax

January 18, 2007 12:34 PM | Link to this

Question no not even a question just a statement. In all this reading of the rules, and single and sexy, and catch a man with a club and beat him over the head, self-help books. Does anyone really look at the key and that is you. Seriously, you can read all the books in the world, take Cosmo quizes until you are blue in the face, but the end result is about you.

So here for the low low price of free let me introduce you…to the most unique book every written…YOU. This book is co-authored and written by You and Yourself. Published by You.
YOU is a work in progress being written for a lifetime. You will change, you will grow, you will not work for everyone because frankly it is about YOU. An as a bonus by just getting YOU at some point YOU will be able to share YOU with someone else.

By Chocolate Peach

January 18, 2007 12:36 PM | Link to this

Single & Lovin it, That’a wassup!! I’m DEFINITELY w/u. The best comment I’ve read yet!!!

By Jewel

January 18, 2007 12:36 PM | Link to this

Confused Your moment of liberation: I need one ticket for Dreamgirls, please.

By LorDemi

January 18, 2007 12:38 PM | Link to this

Nana, Alvin is the one going to Hellz…Imma die and go to heaven and chill with…JustMe

By SeanJohnson

January 18, 2007 12:40 PM | Link to this

@ Foots..you are giving some good advice..and it works both ways for men too…i do a lot of things and go places solo and i dont have a problem meeting and or attracting women..Its also good to speak to the opposite sx..once u open the door verbally it can become a good tennis match and u meet new people.

By Confused

January 18, 2007 12:42 PM | Link to this

Jewel, it will be the first time since hig school and I am sure I was with someone then…IT WILL BE MY FIRST!!!!! Wow I am a virgin to something!!!! lolol

By JustMe

January 18, 2007 12:43 PM | Link to this

Jake/Kym I don’t mean to imply that the books hold all the answers by any means, but any avid reader will tell you that:

and

If reading a book and considering another person experiences and point of view do nothing to clear your own fog, then you may be beyond help. I’m not saying do everything they claim to have done, but see if there is a nugget of wisdom in there that you can use. If you can read a book and not come away with a new thought or a new idea……… Wow I pity the fool!

Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result

By Alvin

January 18, 2007 12:45 PM | Link to this

JustMe you are mean, I was hoping to savage some breast milk or other womanly fluid(the good stuff), before I arrive in Hellz.

By Sexione

January 18, 2007 12:49 PM | Link to this

Jake And you know this!!!

Demi you are gong all out today!! I hope that cape is fireproof…lol

confused Take it from someone who’s been there, done that, and like RandyT, got a closet FULL of t-shirts…….YOU can do it!!!! I do dang near everything I want and go everywhere I want with my BFF…ME!!!!

By SlimOne

January 18, 2007 12:50 PM | Link to this

I agree with JustMe Most of the things in those books are what we already know inside of us. Sometimes it takes seeing it in black and white to finally ‘get it’. By no means are they the ‘be all or end all…but just merely tools that we can use to help push us along.

By T-Mango

January 18, 2007 12:50 PM | Link to this

@ Single and Lovin it-Amen again. I ain’t mad atcha. I love ‘Me’, too.

I think I just caught the holy ghost…my stilleto is over in the next aisle by the mother of the church

By For Real

January 18, 2007 12:50 PM | Link to this

Confused JustMe is right you are getting some good advice here but you should start reading your bible first. Don’t cherry pick the bible start at page 1 like you do with the other books you read. The one thing that I find powerful about the bible is that everyone can find themselves in the book. So, start there first and then build you a list of things that you have always wanted to do. Then get on your donkey and ride out…..

If ole girl was faking… what a buster.. becareful of the “bag” you choose to carry…

Foots Gone girl, that’s what I talking about.. you nasty gurl

Kinder Calm down cutie, the first two reason a relationship or marriage goes south is 1. Money 1a. Sex whichever occurs first. So, if you don’t handle those two issue properly nothing else in the marriage or relationship will matter. It ain’t the ring that makes you married.

By Fatz

January 18, 2007 12:52 PM | Link to this

The ladies only want to eat your heart for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

By Dr. Kym aka Rested and Relax

January 18, 2007 12:54 PM | Link to this

JustMe I am a avid reader and while it is fundamental and opens the mind and gives new prospective if everytime the Rules ladies writes a new book and you spend 29.99 for it and then expect that book to magically fix your situation or and this is my favorite apply their logic to your situation you are not reading for new outlook you are reading for a solution to fix a problem that may very well lie in YOU.

What we as humans fail to realize is that we are not cookie cutter molds that what worked on Harry will work on Lajuan, or what worked on Sally will work on Sandra. Humans change and evolve daily in our thinking we like the rest of the animal kingdom do not have rational thought patterns. So the reaction that the book says you will get or the way the book says you should feel is not always going to be the case.

An what is the point of having a bookcase filled with self help books and you dont even know yourself.

By SeenItAll

January 18, 2007 12:57 PM | Link to this

Speaking on shady behavior, and the unknown, I have to ask?

Have any of you known someone or of someone who has had roots or black magic put on them? Or anyone who has put roots or black magic on someone?

I do (although it is something I wouldn’t dare be a part of, karma, you know), and I’m just wondering if I’m the only one.

By GA.man

January 18, 2007 01:00 PM | Link to this

HOld everything this is something new in blog world Drkym and Gaman agree…wowowowowoow…i must admit it, i do agree with your last post Drkym

By For Real

January 18, 2007 01:05 PM | Link to this

SingleandLovinit I agree with There is only something wrong with thinking that I “need” someone else to complete me or to feel empowered. But we are not ment to alone. We need each other in order to grow. The RIGHT person will complete you and empower you because they will be to see somethings in you that you are not able to see for yourself. The RIGHT person will push you when you don’t believe that you can and pull you back when you can’t see that you can’t.

By QC

January 18, 2007 01:05 PM | Link to this

I’ve heard of people putting roots on people hey JustMe

By Confused

January 18, 2007 01:06 PM | Link to this

For Real I brought me a Life Application Bible and it’s sits on my night stand with a prayer journal…No lie I am afraid!!!! Just damn afraid!!! My faith is so short I dance around it all the time but the results are speaking volumes!!! It’s time totry something different or I will be in a nut house on my 30th on trying to control things in life that are beyond my control!!!!!

By For Real

January 18, 2007 01:08 PM | Link to this

Also for the record here is the definition of LOVE according to the bible…

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. - 1 Corinthians

By JustMe

January 18, 2007 01:10 PM | Link to this

SlimOne I need to learn how to KISS (Keep it Short and Simple). Thanks for the translation - LOL

Demi Do even get me started. This is not the time nor place for me to be thinking about my waterfall(ing down).

Kym Try getting your books from half.com. I paid less than $10 for both books and that includes the shipping. Like I said if you can read a book and not come away from it with a new thought or idea then I really do pity you!

Most people do know themselves, but at the same time they may not accept what the truth is or they may be in denial about who/what/how they really are and sometimes reading books to boost your self esteem is the first step to self improvement.

I am very open on this blog about JustMe and some of the things that go on in my life, I know I could not and would not do it if I lacked self confidence. If I can share an experience and help another person, then that is the positive aspect of my bad experience. I try to take something away from every experience be it good or bad. When it’s a bad experience, I only consider it a failure if I fail to learn something from it. That’s JustMe!

By JustMe

January 18, 2007 01:15 PM | Link to this

SeenItAll I’ve heard of roots and voodoo, but I have never known anyone who has had it done to them and I have never tried it.

Hey QC

For Real Sho nuff!

By Chocolate Peach

January 18, 2007 01:15 PM | Link to this

SeenitAll, Yes!! I’ve seen the result of the so called Roots or Voodo but I dont believe in it personally.

Deep down in Palm Beach county U will C it all………….

By SeenItAll

January 18, 2007 01:21 PM | Link to this

I was once told by someone who let’s just say, is very insightful, that my (now)ex-SOs ex-wife had had someone to mess with him so that he wouldn’t be able to be with me (she was extremely jealous of me). Seems to have worked too, cause the sex just dwindled to the point that I was like wow!

By SlimOne

January 18, 2007 01:21 PM | Link to this

Confused It sounds like your most difficult struggle for right now is the battle of your mind. I would sugges reading Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyers. I say this because you claim your faith is so short and that you’re just afraid. It will help you to get over that negativity you have going on right now. I read it towards the end of my last LTR and it did help me get over the defeat within myself.

By LorDemi

January 18, 2007 01:22 PM | Link to this

Sexione Alvin and I are separate individuals within the same body…I am an angel 95.99% of the time. So There is no way I am going to Hellz, dress like this.

By Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a closet FULL of T-shirts)

January 18, 2007 01:25 PM | Link to this

*@ confused

You are getting one piece of sound advice throughout this, that I absolutely agree 100% with. You have to find your own identity before you can really move on. I’ve dated woman who have just come out of relationships and I learned from myself coming out of them…you have to be comfortable in yourself AND by yourself before you will ever be successful in a new relationship. If you don’t do this, you will go into a relationship NEEDY. If you go into any relationship NEEDY you will try to MAKE THINGS HAPPEN rather than LET THINGS HAPPEN. I guarantee you this will happen. I’ve seen this in myself, I’ve seen this with my friends, and I’ve seen this with the ladies I have dated. As stated above, you will be clingy, and that is not good in a new relationship.

By SlimOne

January 18, 2007 01:28 PM | Link to this

JustMe thats what we’re here for lol

By Confused

January 18, 2007 01:29 PM | Link to this

SlimOne, dag am I my worst enemy and critic and holding me back from sprouting? Just got a headache!!!!!

By LorDemi

January 18, 2007 01:31 PM | Link to this

QC Nah, it is too cold to be flying, but I am driving the blog bus throughout the ‘A’, bumping: “Move B-ish, git out way…”

By Raqi

January 18, 2007 01:32 PM | Link to this

I know the topic as probably changed but here is my comment anyway.

My boyfriend is Shady. How shady is he? Well I will tell you.

My friend Lacy told us about this guy she dated that she met while he was going through a bad marriage. They became pretty good friends through the whole turmoil of his ending nuptials. He told her that for the last three years of their marriage he tried to hang in there and make it work. They did the counseling and couple therapy. He took her on romantic vacations and bought her whatever her heart desired. The whole he was trying to save his marriage Lacy was there being a friend. No intimacy or anything because she respected his marriage but just a friend. The guy finally “gave up” on trying to make his wife love him again so they got divorced. He and Lacy agreed to wait six months before they became intimate but while waiting she said they had some of the best times together. He seemed to have let his wife go. She said the very first which was also the last time they had sex started out as one of the best experiences that she had received from a man in a while. But here’s the clincher that dud called out his wife’s name when he peaked. Evidence has it that he had put Lacy in the position of being a “surrogate” wife. He was still fixated on his wife and was using her as a stand-in.

I tried not to laugh when she was telling us that because I fell for the con of a married man but that was just a freakin funny moment of devastation.

By Confused

January 18, 2007 01:36 PM | Link to this

OK Randy got it…I am starting know to withdraw and focus on me!!!! Trust me I will get through this…I am going to the movies Sunday and will enjoy it!!! It will be my first opening door to being a secure woman!!! I will learn and love me more as time progress!!! I am apart of the blog and will keep posted!! It won’t be easy and there will be flaws but I will make a start!!!

By Management

January 18, 2007 01:37 PM | Link to this

I have been a long time lurker, and have noticed something about this particular blog that you don’t find on the others. It’s the same handful people going back and forth all day long. I think you all should get each other’s phone numbers, and call in the evenings to discuss these stupid topics. Do you people have jobs? How can you spend so much time on these blogs and actually get any work done? I think you should get off this blog and GET A LIFE!!!!! Do you realize the world is passing you by and all you can do is blog each other all day long? What sorry lives you all must have.

By SlimOne

January 18, 2007 01:42 PM | Link to this

Confused I’m not trying to be hard on your or cause any headaches..lol But you are being your own enemy. Everything you’re dealing with at this point is mental. You say you’re scared, your faith is short, you’ll be in the nut house if things don’t change….these are all mental things. So until you deprogram that type of thinking and start to rebuild yourself/mind, you’ll have the hardest time moving forward. I KNOW…I’VE BEEN THERE. Don’t give that situation the power to control your happiness and peace. Once you get past the first hurdle you’ll feel the difference immediately. BUT you’ll need to keep going and not regress if possible.(even though we all do from time to time) I have faith that you will do it in your own time. <<>> blog hug for you.

By kinderbabe

January 18, 2007 01:43 PM | Link to this

forreal we see things differently. i still say that money and sex are just overflow from the real issues. people have had money problems and sex problems since the beginning of time and it hasn’t broken up everybody’s marriage. if the foundation is strong enough, the house won’t fall. it may need a few repairs but won’t be demolished in the midst of a storm.

By Owner

January 18, 2007 01:47 PM | Link to this

Management you are fired.

By kinderbabe

January 18, 2007 01:47 PM | Link to this

wow raqi that’s a mess!! how’s your friend doing now? has she recovered from that experieince?

By Jewel

January 18, 2007 01:52 PM | Link to this

Management My “job” is to develop strategies for company’s who want to revamp their workforce by firing people like you. wink Just admit you are hungry for attention…apparently the lurking has held your interest. WOW! A blog stalker!

Musing Surely you have the perfect skit for Management.

By SupervisorS1

January 18, 2007 01:54 PM | Link to this

Management I’ll be the first to say GO F* YOURSELF!!!! Why would any one here care what you think, obviously you’re a WIMP because you’re afraid to use a real moniker. And you’ve been lurking a long time, so what does that make you besides a WIMP, a slacking WIMP!!!!

By For Real

January 18, 2007 01:55 PM | Link to this

Kinder when you say real issues give me an example but I bet your example will lead back to money or sex. The reason money and sex are at the top of the list is because it’s the two things the men and women hold on to the most.

By aggressively witty

January 18, 2007 01:59 PM | Link to this

LOL. what is sorrier, blogging back and forth all day or WATCHING other people do it and complain that THEY have no lives?

Free Schools, Dumb kids

By Sexione

January 18, 2007 02:00 PM | Link to this

Demi then 4.01% of you will be burning….lol

Raqi now that’s some crazy ish! I wonder if he and the wife ever got back together after that.

By Vick's Waterbottle not MusingLee -really-

January 18, 2007 02:02 PM | Link to this

Having a 2pm Press Conference…Cameras flashing as Water Bottle exits the police station

I’d just like to say that these allegations are preposterous. When the evidence comes out you all will realize how foolish you look. I have always had a clean lid. And I challenge any of you to find someone that thinks I have a secret compartment for hiding illegal substances…These are just trumped up charges from a small minded enforcement community, that doesn’t like Black Water Bottles…That’s right I said it…I will never store water and sports drinks in this town again…That’s all I have to say, Excuse me!

Water Bottle then enters his waiting limo and speeds away….but gets pulled over for speeding once he reaches the stop sign at the end of the block.

By LorDemi

January 18, 2007 02:02 PM | Link to this

Chocolate Peach Try little Haiti, Fl…I think haitian women “fix” their men’s balls for cheating on them

By Raqi

January 18, 2007 02:03 PM | Link to this

kinder She is like a rubber ball. She always bounces back. And anyway she says that happened a few years ago. It was funny but not really.

By Sexione

January 18, 2007 02:04 PM | Link to this

Hey guys, we are all celebrities…we have a stalker!!!!

aggwit ^5^5…..watching people blog and then complaining about it, now that’s pathetic!!!

By For Real

January 18, 2007 02:06 PM | Link to this

Raqi I agree that is funny.. sad but funny…

Confused You got to start with the Man in mirror if you want to make a change MAKE THAT CHANGE

By MusingLee

January 18, 2007 02:07 PM | Link to this

Jewel I’m sure I could come up with something…But, I choose to ignore those that don’t have anything constructive or at least entertaining to say on the blog.

Now placing a sign in the blog window

“Under New Managment”

By Micheal Jackson (not Alvin)

January 18, 2007 02:11 PM | Link to this

in a high pitch voice

Do not became Confused like me…

I am black or white, I don’t know and I don’t care!!

Oh Pe-ter…Petie, where are you???!!!

Strange sucking sounds is heard from MJ’s room

T-da-Hee-hee!!

whoo, whoo, whoo, whooooooooooo!!!

By kinderbabe

January 18, 2007 02:12 PM | Link to this

forreal my examples of real issues are:
*misrepresentation. the relationship was built on false pretenses. he/she acted like the person they “thought” their mate wanted instead of just being themselves.

*lack of trust and honesty. this leads back to the false pretenses.

topics of disagreement and discomfort were overlooked in hopes that he/she would *change. that’s always a bad move. like mary said “take me as i am.”

now, if a person starts off sexin like crazy, spending money like crazy and then flips the script, that’s a money and a sex problem due to misrepresentation(my first point). that’s why i say it’s a symptom. overspending on someone or oversexing them is a symptom of insecurity. that shouldn’t be one’s ONLY device for keeping someone. if it is, i feel for you. if you know that’s not you, don’t start that ish b/c someone will appreciate you for how you are. yes money is spent and sex is had but it shouldn’t dominate any healthy relationship. balance is key.

By Sexione

January 18, 2007 02:12 PM | Link to this

Demi that’s sounds like what SeenItAll was referring to, that’s serious!!

By JustMe

January 18, 2007 02:13 PM | Link to this

Musing You are wicked!

OFF TOPIC Did anyone listen to Steve Harvey this morning talking abot the top 10 places to buty James Brown? Last I heard he had 8 places listed but was not sure if he was going to read them on the air?

Y’all I wasn’t even going to address his stupid post. THanks for hannallinn the light work!

By Management

January 18, 2007 02:15 PM | Link to this

AND you need lessons in ebonics in order to understand what ya’ll are saying to each other, over and over and over and over and over again!!! Or a course in Ebonics 101. Don’t you get bored doing this all day?

By Confused

January 18, 2007 02:16 PM | Link to this

MusingLee LOLOLOL For Real I know and will do for real…Life it so short!!! MusingLee LOLOLOLOLOLOL

By kinderbabe

January 18, 2007 02:16 PM | Link to this

raqi that’s good that she’s resilient.:)

By TLC the group (Not alvin)

January 18, 2007 02:18 PM | Link to this

Revise Waterfall song:

Baby, please don’t stop the waterfall…Baby please let me taste the waterfall…

By Foots

January 18, 2007 02:19 PM | Link to this

Musing You are too crazy!! LOL!!

By What?

January 18, 2007 02:20 PM | Link to this

This really brought up some denial memories, oh my, what a fool I was. I dated a guy for nearly 6 years and after all that time, he would say we were “only dating”. Not sure what it meant at the time, but I now know, unbeknownst to me at the time, that is how he kept his conscious when leading his secret life. This same guy went on a weekend “golf trip”. It was “spur of the moment” he did not call me the entire time, said his cell phone didn’t work. Said he would be home Thursday, to come over after work. He didn’t get home until nearly midnight Friday. Ummm, let’s see, because of his line of work, I only got to see him Wednesdays and when he got off work after midnight on Friday & Saturdays. He would not allow me to see him on “school nights”. I have no idea why I put up with all that crap. It is unbeliveable to me now. I don’t even want to know what he was up to!

By Chocolate Peach

January 18, 2007 02:24 PM | Link to this

MANAGEMENT, Poof!!!! & Be Gone. LordDemi, Yes I know bout the haitians. I have a few haitian & Jamaican friends

By JustMe

January 18, 2007 02:24 PM | Link to this

TLC the group (Not Alvin)

I don’t do girls……. sorry :-)

By Chocolate Peach

January 18, 2007 02:27 PM | Link to this

Management, obviously you have to ocme check the blog out on a daily to even know it’s the same folk & topic everyday.

Must be nice hun! we get paid & blog all at the same time. Ummmmm……..

Done with you now moving on IN OTHER NEWS:

By Jewel

January 18, 2007 02:28 PM | Link to this

WOW! Raqi A man’s #1 sexual fear is not being able to rise to the occasion. A woman’s #1 sexual fear is hearing another woman’s name…

By Jewel

January 18, 2007 02:33 PM | Link to this

Musing That is good enough!

By Raqi

January 18, 2007 02:36 PM | Link to this

Sexi and JeweL Can you imagine being with someone having the time of your life and all the while they are holding your hand, embracing you and kissing you they are thinking of some one else? Can you imagine?

I would have tried to kick his balls so far up in him he would have thought he grew an extra set of tonsils.

By LorDemi

January 18, 2007 02:38 PM | Link to this

Sexione I am half Haitian and half black…musing can you do a skit off that???…Soooo, I’ve read a few books on it.

Management Hell no!!! *sholes like you keep us entertained.

By For Real

January 18, 2007 02:39 PM | Link to this

Kinder cool i understand you now. I agree balance and being yourself are the keys to a sucessful relationship. But we are such a materialistic and selfish society that people use money and sex to hide behind. And like my Paw Paw said “Don’t start nothin with a woman that you ain’t willing to keep doing for the rest of your life”

Off Topic But I heard it on the radio this morning and I can’t get it out of my head

I guess you’ve heard of my reputation, I’ve had my share of foolin’ around. But everybody needs stimulation, and mine just happens to be all over town.

By Alvin

January 18, 2007 02:41 PM | Link to this

JustMe you just shot my fantasies straight back to work…now removing water fall costume

By For Real

January 18, 2007 02:44 PM | Link to this

It’s an easy-money occupation, a first-class psychiatry. But just once, I’d wanna make love without taking off my clothes. Just once, I wanna make love with somebody who really and truly knows

By Wise Diva

January 18, 2007 02:44 PM | Link to this

aww, I didn’t even have to regulate, good job blog family. Management, you sound real familiar!

By kinderbabe

January 18, 2007 02:46 PM | Link to this

forreal so true. people do hide behind sex and money. and the level of materialism is so crazy nowadays. your paw paw is a wise man.:) wow, what song was that? i keep replaying the words in my mind, it rings a bell but…

By For Real

January 18, 2007 02:51 PM | Link to this

Contrary to rumor, gigolos get lonely too. All my lovers need stimulation, but honey babe, I think that I need you.

Ok Im done now….

By Alvin

January 18, 2007 02:51 PM | Link to this

Raqi that happen to me once and I thought nothing of it…Hell, I thought I was screwing Miss Miami..Ahhhhh…It was good while it lasted

By Sexione

January 18, 2007 02:51 PM | Link to this

Raqi …an extra set of tonsils….LMAO I would have had to inflict some kind of pain on dude, for real!!! That’s why you have to be careful befriending people esp. when they’re in the midst of drama (I know, that’s when you need a friend most)….you may unknowingly become a stand-in

Demi I’ve never read any books on it…go figure, and I’m an avid reader. I’m sure that would be interesting, to say the least!! lol And by the way, you know you are clowning today, right?!!!!

By GA.man

January 18, 2007 02:53 PM | Link to this

ok back family..was in court with a client…man that was crazy..i see we are under new management….ok i gotta read more

By Fungirl

January 18, 2007 02:53 PM | Link to this

Fellow bloggers Don’t pay Management any attention. He/She loves the blog or would not have read it. He/She just wanted some attention!! Poor thing!! For Real - That is my favorite quote in the Bible! I think we all need to read it occasionally, no matter what type of relationship we are in. As for the topic at hand, I have learned, and am still learning, to trust that little voice in my head that tells me something is not right. People definitely will move heaven and earth to make time for the things they want. My mother used to say “Love asks no questions”. I used to debate it in my head all the time. I’ve found that when love is pure and things are right, I don’t HAVE to ask any questions, everything falls into place. My friends that are happy and in good relationships are proof. They have their ups and downs like everyone, but never have to question what the person means to them or what they mean to that person. Come on, we all know when a person is LIVING FOUL!!

By SeanJohnson

January 18, 2007 02:56 PM | Link to this

@ Kinder…Michael Jackson

By JustMe

January 18, 2007 02:56 PM | Link to this

Oh Alvin was that you? I thought it was * TLC The group (Not Alvin)*

At least I could consider it now ;-)

Kinder I think it is Morris Day & The Time Gigilos Get Lonley Too

By Sexione

January 18, 2007 02:56 PM | Link to this

Wise I was thinking the same thing, sounds bitterly familiar lol

I’m outta here, everyone have a safe, warm evening!

By Jewel

January 18, 2007 02:58 PM | Link to this

For Real My mother gave me the same advise about men: “Whatever you do to get a man, you have to do to keep him.” So, when he comes home looking for a homecooked meal, I can say Did I cook for you before??? LOL!

By JustMe

January 18, 2007 02:59 PM | Link to this

Raqi That hurt and I don’t even hav’em - LOL Too Funny!

By LorDemi

January 18, 2007 03:00 PM | Link to this

And like my Paw Paw said “Don’t start nothin with a woman that you ain’t willing to keep doing for the rest of your life”

Now co-sign Paw-Paw statement with my AK-47…

And Wise, it seems crazy peeps visit this blog often…we need to rid ourselves of them.

I don’t count, I am special!!

By MusingLee

January 18, 2007 03:00 PM | Link to this

demi I’ve got love for my Haitian Women, but some of them are down right mean. LOLOLOL…Some are awful fine-fine too. My Ex was Guyanese, her sister in law is Trini, and had this finnnnne sister I enjoyed looking at…She was just beautiful. When we broke up I was like “I’m only messing with Island and South American Chicks from now on”. LOLOLOLOLOL

By Victoria's Secret

January 18, 2007 03:01 PM | Link to this

Good afternoon everyone, 1st of all please be aware that management is very special and require’s a lot of attention that’s why he’s been a long time lurker, and chose to speak out today but you all handled management well just as you do all the other azz holes that come on this blog complaining

By Raqi

January 18, 2007 03:05 PM | Link to this

Gives a new meaning to “If you can’t be with the one you love, then love the one you are with.”

kinder talk about a song ringing in your head, all morning I have finding myself humming:

I’m in the mood for love

Simply because you’re near me

Funny but when you’re near me

I’m in the mood for love

I wander why? LOL

By kinderbabe

January 18, 2007 03:05 PM | Link to this

sj and justme it’s prince, gigolos get lonely too.:) i had to breakdown and look it up. lol

By Victoria's Secret

January 18, 2007 03:05 PM | Link to this

Good afternoon everyone, 1st of all please be aware that management is very special and require’s a lot of attention that’s why he’s been a long time lurker, and chose to speak out today but you all handled management well just as you do all the other azz holes that come on this blog complaining

By Victoria's Secret

January 18, 2007 03:05 PM | Link to this

Good afternoon everyone, 1st of all please be aware that management is very special and require’s a lot of attention that’s why he’s been a long time lurker, and chose to speak out today but you all handled management well just as you do all the other azz holes that come on this blog complaining

By GA.man

January 18, 2007 03:06 PM | Link to this

ok so know we all know management wont be coming to the blog party…lololol i have become addict of the blog Hello my name is Gaman and i am a blog-a-holic

By For Real

January 18, 2007 03:13 PM | Link to this

Kinder Gigolos Get Lonely 2 - Morris Day and the Time

Raqi That ain’t funny you got all the fellas bending over..

Jewel That’s wrong… What you gonna have him in the kitchen cooking like Baby Boy?? You wants some eggs

Fungirl I hope people will read that before they start talking about they in love….

By JustMe

January 18, 2007 03:14 PM | Link to this

Hey Vic Sec Long time no blog. Hope all is well with you.

By LorDemi

January 18, 2007 03:16 PM | Link to this

MusingLee until they catch you in the wrong…But I can’t lie, I love the way they moan in their native tongues…

By SeanJohnson

January 18, 2007 03:20 PM | Link to this

@ Kinder..i must have read the wrong for real post..but Giggolos get lonely too is that ish…but thats not prince…its morris day..

By Management

January 18, 2007 03:20 PM | Link to this

Don’t worry I won’t ever darken this blog again. This is the dumbing down of America everyone talks about.

I have more important things to do, like WORKING for my payment. My guess is that the majority of you all are sitting at home collecting government handouts?

By Alvin

January 18, 2007 03:23 PM | Link to this

Raqi that was a low blow.

JustMe All to the good, I am just having fun today…

By For Real

January 18, 2007 03:23 PM | Link to this

Hi Gaman!!! How long have you been addict????

kinder Prince wrote the song for them….

Raqi I have the answer to your question:

Here we are in this big old empty room, staring each other down U want me just as much as i want u, let’s stop fooling around

By Jake

January 18, 2007 03:27 PM | Link to this

I missed a lot, I see we are famous now, or are we infamous…LOL

let me get in my 2 cents,…MUCK FANAGEMENT

By For Real

January 18, 2007 03:27 PM | Link to this

MusingLee and LorDemi You ain’t never lied… Somebody needs to put that ish on CD. Where is my passport????

By MusingLee

January 18, 2007 03:30 PM | Link to this

demi I had to switch back to my American Sistas….With an Island Woman, you never know when you’re gonna wake up with a machete holding Woman. LOLOLOLOLOL

Island Chick: That dayum Musing didn’t put his shoes away…I’ll teach him…I’m gonna chop his dayumm feet off…I bet he put his ishhh away then.

Musing wakes up just in the nick of time and karate chops charging Woman across the throat

Musing: Beaooch! What the hellz wrong with you? Crazy’azz

IC: Musing I just want you to put your shoes away…I love you Baba-tune-day.

Musing: Hellz all you gotta do is ask…Stop trying to chop a m/f up and ishhh….I don’t know why I put up with this ishh.

By kinderbabe

January 18, 2007 03:32 PM | Link to this

thanks sj and forreal i must have read too fast when i looked up the lyrics…lol. morris day…got it!

i see you’re on a prince kick forreal

raqi lol

By Jewel

January 18, 2007 03:33 PM | Link to this

Management don’t you see that red dot on your chest?

By JustMe

January 18, 2007 03:33 PM | Link to this

Alvin You should be having fun every day :-)

Jake LOL

By Teddy

January 18, 2007 03:35 PM | Link to this

Management please kick rocks.

By SlimOne

January 18, 2007 03:40 PM | Link to this

My ex’s family was from the islands…trinidad…and boy was that some mighty fine food. plantains, peas-n-rice, calilou, stewed chicken, pelou, beef patties, and can’t forget the roti

By Alvin

January 18, 2007 03:43 PM | Link to this

For Real I am banning myself from the islands…I Dayum near lost my mind in South America

Now rereading Raqi’s 2:36 post to calm down

By Victoria's Secret

January 18, 2007 03:45 PM | Link to this

Yep, Management some are sitting at home collecting governement handouts just like yo momma is! the majority of us can multi task but it’s all good, you’re probably sitting at home playing with yo diznick

JustMe i’m doing fine i’ve just been busy that’s all; i lurk a lot but don’t have time to blog

By SpaceyG

January 18, 2007 03:46 PM | Link to this

I know I’m a little late to this party, but the question should really be: “Have I ever dated someone who WASN’T shady?” The answer is: not likely.

By Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a closet FULL of T-shirts)

January 18, 2007 03:47 PM | Link to this

@Musing with Haitian and machete

My ex-wife had terrible PMS, really could see the insanity in her eyes when it came on. When that guy Wayne Bobbitt got his ‘petey’ whacked off, I got so I would sleep on my belly until her PMS was gone. I’m serious. I’ve grown attached to it.

By Victoria's Secret

January 18, 2007 03:49 PM | Link to this

Forget the red dot on his shirt, i’ve got a red dot pointed right at his azz

By Ms. A

January 18, 2007 03:51 PM | Link to this

Ok. Management it is time for you to kick rocks if you don’t like the blog! It is obvious the Blog DOESN”T care for you either…so you can politely keep it moving…or you will get shot by blog bullets…you better duck/run…do it now!!!

By MusingLee

January 18, 2007 03:52 PM | Link to this

SlimOne The only thing I miss is the roti…Folks who’ve never had it ask “what’s up with you and this roti ishh”…but it’s good…I dayum near gained 10lbs from roti alone. hahahaha

By kinderbabe

January 18, 2007 03:54 PM | Link to this

randyt lol sound like that pms has moved into the disorder category. she needed medication.

By deeluv

January 18, 2007 03:57 PM | Link to this

i do, u do, birds and bees do 2!

By Victoria's Secret

January 18, 2007 03:59 PM | Link to this

Good night everyone please be careful out there, the roads are wet Demi you should get home really fast if you’re flying - be good bloggers!

By MusingLee

January 18, 2007 04:01 PM | Link to this

Randyt Man..LOLOLOLOL…You know it…I would’ve had to make her wear little bells on her feet so I would know where she is at all times. hahahahaha

By Raqi

January 18, 2007 04:01 PM | Link to this

Okay because I am bored as all get out and ready to go home, I am going to let the blog family help decide what to wear to Jimmy’s (my husband best friend) birthday party tomorrow night.

I have these pants in brown, that I like a lot and I bought this sweater in ivory to wear with them.

I also have these pants in tan that I could wear the same sweater with.

I guess yall can tell I love to shop at Eddie Bauer.

But then again I have these that I am very fond of and just ordered via internet last week that I could wear regular long sleeve cotton shirt with.

Amuse me people, what do you all think? If I wear either pair of the cords I will be wearing a pair of brown boots.

I am assuming is going to be as cold as it is today.

By For Real

January 18, 2007 04:01 PM | Link to this

Alvin I feel you on that.. That place will make you come up with a bad business plan quick to stay there.. Yeah Ragi’s post will definitly take the bullets outcha your gun…

Kinder You caught that one quick. You must be a Prince fan too..

By JustMe

January 18, 2007 04:02 PM | Link to this

Teddy U R So busted U lurker U!

Randy Funny how men grow attacheto the things! - LOL

Ms A Wow! Welcome!

By SlimOne

January 18, 2007 04:02 PM | Link to this

SlimOne preparing a poisonous darts for Managements demise

SlimOne: radios Musing S1 to ML do you read me?

Musing: 10-4 go head

SlimOne: the stars shine bright in h3ll

Musing: 10-4 en route

Musing goes to designated spot where darts await him

By Raqi

January 18, 2007 04:05 PM | Link to this

For Real you couldn’t handle this. And THAT’S for real. LOL

I wandering whether or not you were a male or female before you made that comment. I saw your posts but failed to read them. But now I know.

By SlimOne

January 18, 2007 04:06 PM | Link to this

Musing when I first entered the island world I was simply ‘the american’ so they would joke with me all the time and ask me stuff like…”Would you like some TOTI? Um, toti isn’t roti….its dyck..lolololol But yeah I love it…both that is hehehehe

By Raqi

January 18, 2007 04:09 PM | Link to this

Alvin why is it every time I see you name I think of Alvin the chipmunk or when I see demi I think of a devilish angel sitting on someone’s shoulder. I know you said you were short but…never mind. LOL

By Wise Diva

January 18, 2007 04:15 PM | Link to this

Raqi, I vote for the BR slacks, those are nice

By For Real

January 18, 2007 04:16 PM | Link to this

Slimone that’s funny but you and MusingLee more like Woodchuck to Grey Squirel

RandyY GOT DAYUMMMM!!!!

JustMe Yeah we get attached.. It was our first friend

By GA.man

January 18, 2007 04:16 PM | Link to this

ok you all are very crazy…and thanks Ms. A for kicking the ish out of management

By Dr. Kym aka Rested and Relax

January 18, 2007 04:17 PM | Link to this

The AJC is funny as all get out. Musing they have an example of Vicky’s weed bottle. Oh man!!!!!! The Fakecons dont just need defense they need rehab too. LMAO. Sorry Tazzee but these jokes shall carry me into next seasons. No wonder he is screwing up, dude has the munchies…. Classic.

By Jewel

January 18, 2007 04:19 PM | Link to this

Lovin’ you is easy ‘cause you’re beautiful…making love with you is all I want to do. Lovin you is more than just a dream come true…And everything I do is out of lovin you…LALALALALA…LALALALA…LALALALALA..LALALALALA…DO DO DO DO DO…AHHHHHHHHHHH, OOPS! I just fell off that high note!

By MusingLee

January 18, 2007 04:20 PM | Link to this

Ohhh SlimOne you are getting quite spicy as the 5o’clock hour approaches…You must have some toti waiting at the crib. And lets say I accidentally dropped a dart onto my foot. What exactly would happen? Again this is all hypothetical, and don’t look at my foot.

By MusingLee

January 18, 2007 04:22 PM | Link to this

Raqi I like the first set of pants with you going topless. But, that’s just me.

By For Real

January 18, 2007 04:25 PM | Link to this

Ok Raqi (with a sad face) can I offer you some TOTI then??? LOL… Thanks SlimOne I am using that all weekend.

By MusingLee

January 18, 2007 04:26 PM | Link to this

LMAO @ Jewel…Were you the non-sing girl on American Idol last night who’s boss flew her in, to fall on her face? LOLOLOLOL…Couldn’t sing worth ishh.

By black coffee

January 18, 2007 04:27 PM | Link to this

Wow…y’all are off the chain today, for real!! I always love this blog. BOLD: Sean Johnson…will you marry me? You can have the pdssy anytime you want it…provided you can keep up.

By Rose

January 18, 2007 04:27 PM | Link to this

Is Toti the same as a Hot Toti?

By MusingLee

January 18, 2007 04:28 PM | Link to this

Be safe er’body I’m out. Till we blog again.

Peace!

By Alvin

January 18, 2007 04:28 PM | Link to this

Raqi LOL

deeluv please dont pull that shyt again!!

By SlimOne

January 18, 2007 04:29 PM | Link to this

For Real lol…I’m rusty since i haven’t been out in the field in a while.

By Jewel

January 18, 2007 04:31 PM | Link to this

Raqi Brown cords w/ the sweater. The trousers are nice.

By SlimOne

January 18, 2007 04:33 PM | Link to this

Musing Unfortunately I don’t have any TOTI on order. The only toti at the crib belongs to my cat and I’m not into beastiality! Well if you dropped one on your foot then I’d just get Management to suck the poison out or my last resort would be to PEEEEE on it…..LMAO!

By Wise Diva

January 18, 2007 04:34 PM | Link to this

gee Black Coffee, you shouldn’t be so shy! LOL

Musing, is that even legal? You are trying to get her arrested!

By Raqi

January 18, 2007 04:35 PM | Link to this

Wise Yeah those are nice and they make my butt look so cute, not that it needs any help. LOL Mason likes those also but he likes anything he can clearly see my butt in.

I like that first pair of cords because they look pretty good on me too and then they are more of a casual look. With it being a close friend’s party I was opting for a more relaxed-if-you-spill-something-on-me-I-want-go-crazy-up-side-your-head look.

And Musing STFU. LOL

Thanks for the input.

By For Real

January 18, 2007 04:37 PM | Link to this

Raqi I vote for the 3qtr length coat with the red thigh high boots…

Jewel are you from Seattle??? lol

um yes Rose

By SlimOne

January 18, 2007 04:38 PM | Link to this

Rose I’m dying over here..LOL. Um, no sweetheart Toti is pronounced as toe-tea which has nothing to do with a hot todd-e (a drink) Now I do like my toti hot…never experienced a cold one in all my 28 years of life.

Raqi You’re welcome. Let me know if it works for ya this weekend too. :-P

By GA.man

January 18, 2007 04:38 PM | Link to this

ok black coffee guess i will get my tux ready lolol wise i know you ain’t talking with you whip bring self..lololol

By SeanJohnson

January 18, 2007 04:39 PM | Link to this

@ HotChocolate/BlackCoffee..i dont think i will have a problem keeping up…now the marriage thing…Houston..we have a problem

By GA.man

January 18, 2007 04:40 PM | Link to this

Gaman snatches whip from wise tonight is my night to be in charge……..hhhhhhmmmm lolololol

By Alvin

January 18, 2007 04:41 PM | Link to this

SlimOne so you like golden showers huh?

you learn something new each day

By Ticked Off

January 18, 2007 04:43 PM | Link to this

How about the guy that does everything right..then he just disappears for no reason at all? Then you see him a week later in the same club you are in and he is getting the number of some girl (who by the way is far less attractive than you). Then he acts like you never existed in front of her when you approach to say hello and letting him know you are there. This guy is the ultimate shady!!! Beware of this character ladies…this Navy man is king of that in Atlanta.he lives and rresides in Cobb County. FYI..he is also an Alpha and origianlly from Tennessee! Hope I dropped enough clues! Be warned if should meet him! Run…run for the hills.

By Raqi

January 18, 2007 04:45 PM | Link to this

I’m in the mood for love

But my husband refuses to wear a condom

My IUD is not inserted

But, I’m in the mood for love

He’s in the mood for love

He says we can take our chances

No matter hard it throbs

He can’t enter without a glove

Ya’ll take easy. I am out.

(Song fading the background.)

By SlimOne

January 18, 2007 04:48 PM | Link to this

Alvin Only in a life or death situation…lol

By lorDemi

January 18, 2007 04:54 PM | Link to this

Ticked Off Sooooo, you drop them panties a little too early and now you’re upset….Guess your kitty ain’t so golden after all. Now step off your high horse, nice and slooooow.

By For Real

January 18, 2007 04:56 PM | Link to this

Bitter Woman is here

GAman and Wise lol she was getting little too happy with the whip huh? What my name POW

SJ WOW!!! Marriage.. Congratz

SlimOne You want to…

By Alvin

January 18, 2007 04:56 PM | Link to this

SlimOne well I am on my way to hellz, so how close to death do I need to be?

By Ticked Off

January 18, 2007 04:58 PM | Link to this

Sean John…your body does not become your husband’s! You, just as a lot of people take things in the wrong content bibically. You own no one on this earth…So how can you think its ok to believe that just because a husband wants sex his wife should give it whenever? If the wife wants a Benz today and a fur next week…can she say that’s her bank account and she can spend it on whatever she wants…even though she does not work to add funds to it…just because they are married? 2 way street brah….2 way street!

By SlimOne

January 18, 2007 04:59 PM | Link to this

I’m Outta here Blog Buddies