By SlimOne

February 15, 2007 8:15 AM | Link to this

Happy Thursday Sexione,Sexylegs,Demi,Foots,NC,Musing,JustMe,For Real,GA.man,kinder,…etc

By Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a closet FULL of T-shirts)

February 15, 2007 8:29 AM | Link to this

Hmmm WD

This one is toooo close for comfort, so I am going to, for as long as I can, keep my dayum mouth shut.

I will say that I have been with more than my share of women who were totally F@$ked up by past lovers. I would love to have spent some quality time demonstrating to them what a guy with an attitude could do with a big friggin baseball bat. Arghhhh, I hate those SOB’s.

(Now Randy puts back on his calm, ‘nice guy’ demeanor, not revealing that he is thinking about all of those ways he was taught at Ft. Bragg about how to mess up someone’s day…Arghhhh).

By QC

February 15, 2007 8:29 AM | Link to this

Morning Bloggers

By Jake

February 15, 2007 8:49 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Blog:

Wise I just heard Badu’s “Bag Lady” yesterday…now this. Like Randy I’ve ran across my share of fugged up chicks, but its not just ladies who get scarred…*shouts to Justin who will be here later…lol. Hellz, I’ve had my heart stomped on too, but the key is getting back on the bike. I really respect a person who can be honest about the damage done, and who has truly moved on. No longer hating the committer of the dating crime and can chalk it up to the game. It comes with maturity and experience.

Shyt happens, you either can stand there and look at it, taking in the aroma, or you can flush it.

By Raqi

February 15, 2007 8:51 AM | Link to this

Lesson No.1: Just because you connect the dots on a ‘Cheetah’ does not make him your Tony the ‘Tiger’. So when everything turns out to be not so “Grrreat”, don’t make the next guy pay.

By skoolboi_krush

February 15, 2007 8:59 AM | Link to this

Good morning!

Yeah, I would love to get my hands on some of my SO’s ex-boyfriends. It’s a shame that they left this woman so paranoid when it comes to guys. However, I blame her more for not dealing with each situation individually.

As far as the type of woman I respect most, I would have to say one who isn’t too independent to admit that she wants a man. Can’t stand those females who proclaim that having a man is just a luxury.

No, I’m not a reformed misguided dater. I believe that I take each situation individually. Of course, my past experience affects my actions and thoughts but I try not to prejudge people based on past relationships.

By Confused

February 15, 2007 9:04 AM | Link to this

Morning All,

I was a misguided dater post my divorce but I am learning quick the dos and don’t s….I have stories but the are retorical so I won’t go into to but I truly learned from my mistakes and false expectations on how to have a successful date and more so great friends at the end of the day….I was trying to make the first person I dated post my divorce my husband but through that fire til this day we are great friends and close somewhat without being intimate at all!!! I just call him last night and we had a great conversation and that means a lot after the drama I put him through with my lack of experience with dating!!!

By Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a closet FULL of T-shirts)

February 15, 2007 9:07 AM | Link to this

Jake

Shyt happens, you either can stand there and look at it, taking in the aroma, or you can flush it.

Great comment.

There are many things I hate about following a “bad dater”, but the worst thing is helping someone heal, becoming emotionally invested yourself, and then when she is finally healthy and can trust again, you have to let her go. I had that with the ‘Runaway Bride Wannabe” I dated last year. The person before me was a ‘stalker’ and totally f##ked her up. Oh well, it worked out for the better, but I still keep a look out for that guy. We moved in the same circles and sooner or later I would have run into him, if I had not gotten involved and dropped out of the singles scene. I am glad I did not run into him when I was still raging inside. Not good, because the macho ‘mano e mano’ shyte would have probably come into play.

Sorry, but this is a subject that hits a few nerve endings with me, because I have been the “Nice Guys Finish Last” in my past (until I finally realized that to attract the kind of person you want, you have to become the kind of person you would want to attract).

It is all a learning experience, and I have learned from my mistakes (an bought and paid for a bunch of t-shirts while becoming “educated”)…

By GA.man

February 15, 2007 9:09 AM | Link to this

Good morning…Justme Musing seanj* raqi qc mocha slimone sexione Dr Kym Ncgirl Foots Randyt Demi sexylegs forreal Kinder

Off topic i saw Daddy’s little girls yesterday it was very very nice..

Back on topic…i agree you have to chalk the hurt and pain to the game..learn from it and come out swinging better next time….If you live long enough you will be hurt and you might just hurt someone else..you might not try to do it but you might hurt someone…

So treat everyone like you wanna be treated and you will win maybe not today or this month but you will WIN

By SlimOne

February 15, 2007 9:16 AM | Link to this

GA.man Hey i saw that too last night and I have to say that i really enjoyed it.

By Confused

February 15, 2007 9:17 AM | Link to this

@Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a closet FULL of T-shirts)

I truly feel you and appreciate your wisdom and experiences daily with my healing process!!!! Self reflect is the key that is the only way to be a better person and I must say I am a better dater going into my second year single!!! It’s kind of fun learning when you can take the good with the bad and not hold anger!!!

By MusingLee

February 15, 2007 9:24 AM | Link to this

Morn’in All,

First Off, Wise EVERY guy would like to be sexed up by every hot Woman they’ve met…LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Everyone should receive a dating permit, then if you f/ked up two relationships back-to-back, your dating license will be suspended until further notice. That means NO p-dussy/wang as well.

By GA.man

February 15, 2007 9:28 AM | Link to this

Musing i agree give every person a dating permit..and when they mess it up..send it Homeland Dating Agency

With a notice that it will be returned on two or three weeks..if it is a major violation then 2 months…lolol

By abc

February 15, 2007 9:31 AM | Link to this

Ha, someone is a little cranky this week, ahem.

By SlimOne

February 15, 2007 9:32 AM | Link to this

Musing That would be a good idea but we all know that folks would still contintue to date on a suspended license. Maybe we need to have a computer program that records and tracks dating breakdowns, fender benders, etc…sort of like a vehicle history.

Slim now calling up Musing’s Heart Repair Shop to find out if heart is ready to be picked up

By purplepassion

February 15, 2007 9:36 AM | Link to this

Good morning, I am guilty of being a misguided dater. I have screwed up a couple of men by only being with them for what they could give me. I was totally selfish. Now that I have dusted off all that mess I can say I have learned how to respect and treat a man and let him be a man. I took all the hurt I had from an abusive relationship and poured it on the next man that came into my life. I was a complete B@ITCH! I would sabatoge the realtionships out of fear. I made being with me miserable. I didn’t look at a man as a man I looked at them as owing me, it was just crazy. I can’t explain it in words. My wake up call was one day I introduced my sister to one of my then SO and she told him out flat not to invest too much time with me because I would only mess things up. Because of what my sister said, I woke up and realize if I want to have a good wholesome relationship I have to heal from my past hurt and stop hurting others.

By Wise Diva

February 15, 2007 9:38 AM | Link to this

abc, LOL.. I was just sitting here reading the post thinking, uhh yea..this blog entry is a thinly disguised rant

oh, goodness….do I sound bitter?

Heh heh

@Musing, I would SO love to have a dating police out there, giving citations! ha! I could be a special detective by now, I’ve seen just about every thing!

By GA.man

February 15, 2007 9:40 AM | Link to this

Thank you for calling Homeland Dating Agency This is Gaman..I’m sorry slimone your heart is not ready yet come back on friday and we should have you ready to go……lolol

By Homeland Dating Officer MusingLee

February 15, 2007 9:45 AM | Link to this

Musing is patrol local bar when he notices a habitual date violator….walking over in his 70’s style shades and CHiP’s outfit with knee high police boots

Musing: Sir can I see your permit please?……Sir this permit is expired and in accordance with Dating Law 34a-bb9w-IOU, you are not allowed to solicit dates until this has been cleared.

Just then dude makes a mad dash for the door, but slips on a discarded lemon wedge from someones martini…..Musing jumps on him, taking him into custody

By T-Mango

February 15, 2007 9:49 AM | Link to this

Good morning all.

The ‘Dating Permit’ is cool, but I think we need something more visible to the human eye…

To illustrate, phugged up individuals need to be branded on the shoulder with two characters. That way everybody knows where to look to see how jacked up the person is. Brands may be issued by family, friends, ex-lovers, and health care professionals.

Individuals should be branded by the following key:(Please note that this is not the full list)

MI=Mentally Ill/Crazy/Stalker SD=Sexually Diseased/Just Plain Nasty CC=Compulsive Cheater BB=Broke brother/Broke beyotch MP=Momma problems/issues DP=Daddy problems/issues DL=On the down low NC=Non-committal GD=Golddigger BM=Someone’s Baby’s momma BD=Someone’s Baby’s daddy RF(new category)=Request file. These are code red individuals. Not enough space on shoulder to document membership in multiple categories.

By Confused

February 15, 2007 9:50 AM | Link to this

@GA.man…you are to funny lol…I am laughing out loud!!!!

By Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a closet FULL of T-shirts)

February 15, 2007 9:50 AM | Link to this

SlimOne

Make it mandatory that they wear an ankle monitor and are not able to leave the house after dark!!! In the meantime, like CarFAx, we could set up a company called “DateFax” with the history you suggested. We could make millions on the Internet. For a brief “Basic One Liner Package” we could charge $9.95. It would have just one line saying “High a*******hole number, avoid at all costs”, or “A slob, but basically non-threatening”, “Nice guy, but NO money” etc. For the $29.95 we could provide the “Complete Package” with names, dates, times cheated, times caught, times hit on women or men they work with, any gay tendencies or unexplained trips to Midtown, Piedmont Park unescorted, etc.

We might could make some real money off of this. What do you think, Musing?

By SlimOne

February 15, 2007 9:50 AM | Link to this

“It’s not ready yet? What do you mean its not ready yet? It’s been in here for 3 months now! I’m not sure i’ll be able to afford the bill by the time you get done with it. Mr. GA.man, I need to speak to your supervisor.

By Homeland Dating Officer Musirello

February 15, 2007 9:52 AM | Link to this

Now sitting outside local club…one foot propped on bike…ballz slightly visible through officer uniform…..Musing notices another infraction of the dating code

Musing: Miss, Ohhh Miss….May I see that phone please?….Yes the one you’re talking on……In occordance with Dating Law 8-U332a There is to be no cell phone usage while on a date…..I’m sorry, but I’m forced to do this.

Musing pulls out his pistol, tossing the phone into the air and fires several shots…Not actually striking the phone until it hits the ground….Several bystanders were hit

By GA.man

February 15, 2007 9:53 AM | Link to this

Thank you T-mango Homeland Dating will process these codes and start implemeting them A.S.A.P

By "Longtime Lurker"

February 15, 2007 9:57 AM | Link to this

@Wise Lurker I know that you search for topics to write about and it is hard and times and believe me, you do a great job, but you and Laney give too much energy to folks that don’t want to do right!

Do you actually think these folks that you, Laney and most of the bloggers talk about “don’t” know they are not doing the right thing???

Thump all you want, a person is not gonna change until…

A. Someone scares the ish outta them and they change, B. They run out of options and say to themselves, this ish ain’t working no mo, let me try a new way or C. They mature!

There is a market for ignorance out there,more so than positive,so you have to learn how to play the game and win!

Mad money is made and spent on folks “not” doing the right thing, so thump all you want or line up the don’t do rights in any arena you want,it is a business and folks are buying into the ignorant business!

If every man and woman had a perfect mate, there would not be a mis-adventures in dating!

Instead, it would be adventures in dating and how many folks you think would log on to hear about how wonderful someone’s weekend was 271 posts a day!

And on top of that, I don’t think there are a ton of women that want a great guy! This is based on how I see many women treat great guys!

I think it has to be some drama for most of y’all to be interested!

By Georgia

February 15, 2007 10:00 AM | Link to this

I’ve been hurt/used so many times, my little pink heart just can’t handle it any more. It’s been broken so many times, pieces are missing. I just don’t think its worth it any more. There just doesn’t seem to be any good guys around anymore, if there are, they must be hiding……I should have keep the one I had in high school……

By MusingLee

February 15, 2007 10:06 AM | Link to this

Pushing LL into the MLB Safe House….

Musing: Keep your head down…They’re everywhere…You may not make it out alive…If that happens, I’m using your body as a shield and gett’in the hellz outta here.

Musing clothes are extremely tattered like Rambo, as he holds a 50lbs blog gun in one arm….muscle about to pop

By SlimOne

February 15, 2007 10:06 AM | Link to this

LOL @Musing sounds like you need to go back to target training.

By abc

February 15, 2007 10:07 AM | Link to this

Yeah, it’s a truism that regarding men and women alike, the good ones are already taken. There’s a reason for that, I suppose.

By C tha 1

February 15, 2007 10:13 AM | Link to this

@ LL, as always ^5 bruh. Women just get bored easily.

By kinderbabe

February 15, 2007 10:16 AM | Link to this

good morning everyone! have a great blog day.:)

By Wise Diva

February 15, 2007 10:16 AM | Link to this

LL, I think it’s a stretch to say we give anything/anyone too much energy by having dialogue about them. We generally write about what real people go through on the dating scene. Now if you are lucky enough not to endure what other people do, I think that’s great. It’s just that I have listened to a lot of people both in person, and via email, talk about their frustrations and challenges. So, it’s kind of like reporting what they go through. Of course, we are ultimately responsible for selecting people - but you and I both know how people start off one way, and soon after reveal a side to them they concealed. This is why, many of us benefit from playing the waiting game, and not rushing things, but it doesn’t mean we aren’t disappointed when we find out the person has more baggage than we originally thought. It’s all a learning process though!

By MochaTreat

February 15, 2007 10:24 AM | Link to this

* Good morning Justme, Wise, Foots, raqi, Kinder, QC, Demi, Randy, GAman, musing and crew…*

What type of man or woman do you really respect? I respect a man who is honest and respectful and doesn’t play games.

By QC

February 15, 2007 10:26 AM | Link to this

hey GA.man

Musing lol

By Raqi

February 15, 2007 10:27 AM | Link to this

abc A truism is all that it is. But a truth it is not. I think the trick is to find the one that is “good” for you. You know we examine relationships from afar and think “Wow she’s got a good one”. Yeah maybe so but would he be good for you? I have much respect and high regard for my friend Doc’s husband, but God in heaven knows I could not be married to that man if opportunity presented itself. He is very good to her and their kids but he would not be good for me. (Disclaimer: Not that I am looking…I am just making a point)

By Confused

February 15, 2007 10:27 AM | Link to this

Wise how can I email you I have a burning topic…

By abc

February 15, 2007 10:28 AM | Link to this

Well now, if you achieve a certain age and haven’t acquired a certain amount of ‘baggage’ then what the hell were you doing all that time?! I mean really… the longer you live, the more you acquire in all things, especially in experience, and so-called ‘baggage’ is simply what you’ve accumulated from those experiences. Few, if any, people live their entire lives without problems and drama. It’s a human condition; if you can’t accept that people are human, aren’t perfect, blah blah, then certainly your expectations are unrealistic.

By Krystal

February 15, 2007 10:28 AM | Link to this

C tha 1 - I know you don’t think that about ALL women. Get bored? Whatever..some women have very complex psychological problems. These same women are beyond a guy’s rehabilitative capabilities. So why even bother with them? Save your attention for someone who is sane enough to appreciate it.

By T-Mango

February 15, 2007 10:30 AM | Link to this

@Georgia…I’ve felt the way you have before.Don’t give up! Be patient and love yourself first. The right person will be drawn to that energy and in time your heart will heal.There are still some good folks out there…just takes time to find them (or for them to find you).

GA.man-Thank you for the great job you’re doing with keeping citizens abreast of dating threats on American soil.

By GA.man

February 15, 2007 10:31 AM | Link to this

Slimone i am co-owner with musing so i am the BOSS and no your bill won’t be high..we gave you the broken heart discount

By Wise Diva

February 15, 2007 10:31 AM | Link to this

ohh, I love burning topics! Confused: wise.diva@gmail.com

and thanks in advance :)

By QC

February 15, 2007 10:32 AM | Link to this

Morning Mocha

By abc

February 15, 2007 10:33 AM | Link to this

Raqi, oh, I think if folks want to think they’re all that and everything, they should probably consider that if they were, a lot of appropriate candidates would have noticed, and would be lining up. That’s what happens to the good ones.

By Wise Diva

February 15, 2007 10:38 AM | Link to this

abc, that’s all true. It’s the ones that are oblivious to their baggage that are difficult to handle. I fully embrace my emotional baggage, I know who packed the bag, I know what they put in, and I work hard to recognize what I have to do to deal with it. Again, it is a learning process, and nobody should expect perfection, and I don’t think smart women really strive to have a perfect man, because we understand that we are all beautifully human, like Jill Scott said.

By Georgia

February 15, 2007 10:40 AM | Link to this

T-Mango I do love myself. I have really enjoying life. I have a great group of friends, and a wonderful family close by. Just can’t find anyone to go out with. But I am having fun and enjoying life. I ALWAYS have a smile on my face and a positive outlook on everything, and I love talking to people…..thanks….

By "Longtime Lurker"

February 15, 2007 10:40 AM | Link to this

Wise Lurker I ain’t buyin that ish!

You pick the person, the person does not pick you! If you meet a string of folk that are one way and then turn left,it is yo azz that has it twisted!

You got to be a better detective and what I see on the daily is folk that keep fallin for the same ole okey doke time in and time out!

Example: Chicks still think that they game is better than the next chick, when cats are sittin around waiting for the next quarter and I know many cats that love to make a fool outta so called smart chicks.

The reality is that there is very few women that know how to play the game and win, and those chicks ain’t on no blog talkin bout where the good men at,they know a whole slew of them and will settle down with one,when they ready. Don’t believe me, I know a few.

So, it is like this, keep spinnin your wheels on the the folks that ain’t worth talking bout or you keep dating Mr. Worng and you get what you deserve!

If you ain’t smart enough after 30 something years to figure out that yo ish ain’t workin then that is on you!

Go read a book or somethin,go find a few kewl male dudes,that ain’t tryin to rub you up and ask them for some pointers or just sit back and study the game, cause what you think you may have might be what you don’t have!

By GA.man

February 15, 2007 10:41 AM | Link to this

Ok i am going to the mall…got to get some good things….sale sale sale…lololol i will be back about 2

By SlimOne

February 15, 2007 10:43 AM | Link to this

@GA.man (in a sweeter voice) So when did you say I can pick my heart up again?

@Randyt I’m definitely loving that idea!

By C tha 1

February 15, 2007 10:47 AM | Link to this

@Krystal,

So what are you really saying? I did paint women with a pretty broad brush, and I normally don’t do that. But in this case I’ll stand by my opinion. Women do get bored easily. You may have inferred that women crave drama but that’s your inference. But I believe in order to maintain a woman’s attention a certain interest level has to be maintained. Or else she will get bored and go to what interests her. Its easier said than done, but that’s just what I feel. As far as dealing with women with legit psyche issues, hey once you spot suspect behaivor a man has to handle her appropriately.

By Wise Diva

February 15, 2007 10:49 AM | Link to this

I’m not selling anything, just offering my perspective, and I agree with you, on many points, that’s why I said in the entry, personal responsibility comes into play

By MusingLee

February 15, 2007 10:51 AM | Link to this

Dayum LL didn’t I say keep your head down…..But you did gun down some folks with that last post….I think I saw Wise limp behind that van.

By SeanJohnson

February 15, 2007 10:53 AM | Link to this

@ LL…you can tell them ALL day..they wont listen…women have selective hearing when u kick the real to them…sort of like saying this…”imma take my left foot..and kick you on the right side of your face”…they dont believe untill they get kicked…lol

By "Longtime Lurker"

February 15, 2007 10:53 AM | Link to this

Changin the subject for a min. What is it feeling like in the ATL, before I leave most of my clothes over here in Germany?

I will be home tomorrow night,after 20 hours of flying and then return on the 24th for another month,so I don’t want to carry everything back to the ATL.

Looking forward to seeing my bed, it’s been a month and a half.

By Raqi

February 15, 2007 10:55 AM | Link to this

But abc who doesn’t have something that is flawed about them. Where one woman may finds your sarcasm to be amusing the other may find it annoying. Most people can be a good catch for someone if they sought out that type of someone that finds them special. Like that rather plain Jane that eyes you everytime you pass her in the elevator, she just may be the one to rock your world. The problem is not many folks are willing the give the not so noticeable good ones a chance. Anyway, what makes some one a “GOOD” one?

By Wise Diva

February 15, 2007 10:58 AM | Link to this

I get the distinct feeling LL is trying to bait me into some debate or something. LOL.

Musing - stop instigating, LOL. What LL says goes for men and women, right?

Everybody on the blog isn’t over 30 LL, there are people who are new to the dating game too, so I like it when we offer up topics that different people can get insight from.

By Jewel

February 15, 2007 11:02 AM | Link to this

Good morning Everyone!

Interestingly enough, my ex-SO did not verbally bash his ex-girlfriends or his ex-wife. Doing so in the beginning would have been a red flag for me; there were two people in the relationship and placing all the blame on the woman is a tell-tale sign that he was really to blame. However, his sometimes knee-jerk reactions to me were obvious residue of his past. There were many times when I had to tell him I cannot pay for what the other women did. As our relationship progressed, he did share more details about both of his marriages/divorces.

My perception is that every relationship is an opportunity for personal growth. Personal responsibility is directly related to (un)successful dating. The blame game releases a person from ownership. Lessons: (1) Accept what has happened; (2) Try to understand your role; and (3) Know that the next woman is not the same woman. The common denominator is you. Bad daters are who they are; I will always be me. If a man chooses to judge me based on his past, that is his choice and my opportunity to move on. Past experiences makes me cautious, not paranoid.

Have a Powerful, Productive, Prosperous and Positive Day!

By MusingLee

February 15, 2007 11:05 AM | Link to this

Wise - Baddest man hit my hand.

Ohhhhhhhhhh

By "Longtime Lurker"

February 15, 2007 11:06 AM | Link to this

@Wise Lurker I still ain’t buyin that ish! You must think that I started reading y’all last night! I am a Vet of this blog thing and I know most of y’all M.O’s,so the regulars got at least 60,000 mile on they odometer!

I keep forgettin that it is Thursday morning in the ATL, well it is late at night Thursday here in Germany. I will be in the ATL Friday around midnight. I am looking forward to Verve or D’Jango’s on Saturday night. Been a while, since I seen some real sistah’s!

By abc

February 15, 2007 11:07 AM | Link to this

Raqi, everyone’s heart wants what it wants, it’ll vary per person. “Good ones” are genuine, intelligent, generally successful, non-psychotic, non-addicted, like that.

By Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a closet FULL of T-shirts)

February 15, 2007 11:16 AM | Link to this

LL and all

There is a part of me that wants to agree with a lot of what you (LL) say without totally agreeing.

I can guarantee that ‘watchers’ like mayself (those who constantly watch/study people, how they act, react, etc.) have seen so many of the type of women LL describes, those who are drawn like a moth to a flame to the ones that EVERYONE can see are going to hurt them…and they go back again and again expecting different results. The scary part is this often seems like a majority of women, smart and dumb, like it is almost a biological thing (which I think it is).

I truly believe that on a subconscious level, women want THREE men in their lives…with characteristics that occasionally but seldom are found in the same man.

The first one is the Husband/Provider. He is safe, secure, and SHELTERS and Provides for them.

The second one is the Rogue. He brings excitement, adventure, and usually a whole lot of hurt to them. He is the one that seems to constantly win the women, and use them and throw them away like ‘yesterday’s newspaper’ which is basically what they are to him…just something to devour and throw away.

The third is the “Gay Friend”. Not literally gay, but someone in the FZ that can be their sounding board, their confidant, their male friend.

My point is that these man types are seldom all in the same individual. What the “nice guys” see (often the Husband/Provider types), so often it it hurts them, is the supposedly smart, worldly, intelligent women falling time are time for the one guy (Rogue) that EVERYONE knows is going to hurt them the most. Then they go cry on the shoulders of the fool in the FZ. This is what causes the frustration and “angst” in the nice guys. They know they would never hurt the lady, but that is not what the lady usually wants…or so it sure seems.

Too long, sorry.

By "Longtime Lurker"

February 15, 2007 11:19 AM | Link to this

I headed to be y’all! I will check in next week. Have a great weekend!

By Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a closet FULL of T-shirts)

February 15, 2007 11:19 AM | Link to this

Jewel

Re: 11:02 Post. Good post, very true!!!

By Alabama

February 15, 2007 11:19 AM | Link to this

Morning All

I’ll cosign with Georgia 10:00. My heart will be red b/c it is so angry and full of blood that it is about to burst.

Dating is the pits:I see a long sad future ahead - Aw Dayum.

By "Longtime Lurker"

February 15, 2007 11:20 AM | Link to this

Correction I am head to bed, have a great weekend!

By "Longtime Lurker"

February 15, 2007 11:22 AM | Link to this

To hell with it, I can’t type this evening..Y’all know what it is!

By Michael

February 15, 2007 11:23 AM | Link to this

Hey Blog. @ Wise Im dealing with this right now. One case is a few weeks ago, I was at tiresplus and struck up a conversation with a attractive and accomplished woman. Somehow we got on the topic of the Atlanta dating scene and she said that you seem like a really nice guy, but youre “guilty by association”. A lot of guys before you really messed it up for you here. I was stunned.

Another girl that I hang out with here told me that she has a lot of issues stemming from her ex and what he did. She also told me on Tuesday that she’s accustomed to being treated a certain way, and that everything should be about her. Hence, she was sitting home alone on valentines day. I went out to a party instead. 

By Wise Diva

February 15, 2007 11:24 AM | Link to this

@Alabama - a lot of dating involves positive thinking. If you expect a long sad future, you will definitely get that. Sometimes it can be frustrating, so it’s perfectly fine to take a break when that happens.

By Tazzee

February 15, 2007 11:24 AM | Link to this

Morning folks,

Haven’t read any comments, I just had to stop and say a standing ovation to you WiseDiva for the following:

I’m talking to you now, Mr. Nice Guys Finish Last. Ok, I have to say, this guy is becoming more annoying by the minute! He thinks that since he strikes out with the shallow girls, it’s because he is too nice. It probably has more to do with the type of woman he wants or his lack of confidence. A guy’s passive aggressive behavior is like a GPS tracking device for women who seek men out to control or manipulate. Clearly, some guys have a very broad definition of what a nice guy is. Newsflash: just because you aren’t a misogynist brute, sporting a wife beater does NOT mean you are a nice guy. It means you are a healthy, normal man. Congratulations, where should I send your Man Medal?

By miss pres.

February 15, 2007 11:26 AM | Link to this

I think abc is right. Everyone has been through different experiences, both good and bad, that hopefully they will learn from. It’s all in how you use your experiences and “baggage” in your relationships that either makes or breaks it. C tha 1 - yeah there are a lot of women with issues but there are also a lot of men that are the same way, if not worse.

By Jewel

February 15, 2007 11:33 AM | Link to this

T-Mango Love those codes! LOL!

Musing LOL!!!

LL Don’t you want to stay in Germany…and since you are posting to the AJC.com blog, can you look up the ATL weather report? Just a thought.

By "Longtime Lurker"

February 15, 2007 11:46 AM | Link to this

@Randy I was about to hang up and I read your post, so one last comment!

I think you are 100 percent right! You were more direct than I was on this one.

The bottom line is that as you said, women really do not know what they want.

They are in love with the idea of a fantasy and rolling the dice everyday to et it!

TV shapes their ideas of a perfect mate and that mate 9 times outta 10 does not exist!

So what you have is, a bunch of women running around looking for a dude that does not exist!

Those 5 dudes that everyone wants is most likely already taken, so now you got to make a choice!

Women don’t want/refuse to accept that that man that they are attracted to may not be attracted to them or may have other options.

The problem is that women don’t like to adjust their ideals of the man of their dreams, so they deal with this brother or they deal with that brother, that either passes their time until they find someone better or they just settle around a particular age.

There are many good dudes out there, but they may not be as tall as that woman wants or they may not be as well off as that woman wants or they may not be as educated as that woman wants, so what does that woman do?

She tries to turn the closest prospect to what her idea of the perfect man for her (when she finds that similar dude) and try to alter him to be closer to what she wants!

It is a cycle that keeps repeating itself over and over again!

Women need to get a clue and wake up, as you you pass many good men every day and you don’t realize it, why, because you are looking around him, over him, behind him,searching for a star, not knowing that if you took your blinders off and got rid of all your hang-ups,you could probably meet Mr. Right every day!

Life is full of decisions and sooner or later, your choices will run out!

Have a good one folks!

By Linguist

February 15, 2007 12:00 PM | Link to this

@LL - have you been hanging with Justin lately? :~) It sounds like you’ve been hurt yourself before and might be carrying around a suitcase filled with baggage/hurt/pain/disappointment, etc…

A big (((((Hug)))) for you…

By diamondsyd

February 15, 2007 12:36 PM | Link to this

Randy

Your 11:16 post is right on. I seem to alway be that guy that has to be the sounding board. It seems that I always end up in the FZ. How do I stay out of it without being an a$$ and telling them that I don’t want to be just their friend, because I have done that it it doesn’t work either. I haven’t been in a relationship for a couple of years, yet somehow I am the one always seeked out for advice or just a good old fashion vent. Then I end up sitting there thinking what the hell, why ask me? or If there is that much trouble, then why him?

By SexyLeggs

February 15, 2007 12:42 PM | Link to this

Good afternoon, SlimOne,Musing, Lil’Demi,LongtimeLurker,JustMe,GaMan,Jewel,kinder,etc. I don’t have any dating woes. Haven’t dated in a very long time. However, I did pay for the sins of my ex-husband’s first wife. Hence, ex-husband….SlimOne, hope you didn’t wake up with a hangover from yesterday, and JustMe sure hope you thought about all of us last night and took heed to our preachings.

By Justin

February 15, 2007 12:49 PM | Link to this

Jake, yep, plenty of men have been stomped on…

Longtime Lurker, your 11:46 a.m. post is right on point!

I saw the movie “Daddy’s Little Girls” and enjoyed it. Custody battles go on like this all the time, with the mother usually winning regardless of the physical or emotional distress in which she is placing the children. Many mothers in Atlanta, who might not be dealers but maintain a sense of normalcy to the outside world, are emotionally damaging their children. My ex is doing it and the courts are allowing it. Ladies, if there is anything you can pass on to your fellow females, it is the fact that even if the marriage didn’t work out, that is no reason to try to punish a man through the children. The children lose and end up with the scars. Also, women need to look at their part in the demise of a marriage. My ex and I tried counseling and even the counselors suggested that we end the marriage. However, my ex kept looking for a counselor that would agree with her. She failed. Until the scales of justice are balanced in family court, you will have women who will take advantage of their power. You will constantly see more and more children who are being kept from their fathers. The women have the attitude, “They are my children except when I need financial assistance and then they are the father’s children.” My ex has nothing to complain about when it comes to the children. I am a dedicated father, pay my child support, exercise all my parenting time and then some, attend their school functions, physician appointments, etc. Her only complaint is that I didn’t want to be married to an overbearing, control addicted, tyrant of a wife.

Many of the women out there, especially in the upper income neighborhoods, will say, “I have nothing in common with the mother in the movie, “Daddy’s Little Girls”.” However, take away the neighborhood, the clothes, and the outer appearance, the same attitude against the father and towards the children is there.

Some women’s attitudes are the main reason many men don’t want to deal with them. We are tired of trying to make up to you what someone else did. We know the story, “Black women have gone through so much, we just want someone to love and support us”. As if no one else in the world has gone through strife and issues.

By dukegirl

February 15, 2007 12:49 PM | Link to this

LL- that door swings the other way. Guys pass over great gals all the time. They don’t look the way they want them, so those girls get looked over for girls that would melt if they stood outside for 5 minutes in August. I agree that women over look great guys all the time. Guilty as charged, but guys do the same thing too.

By SlimOne

February 15, 2007 12:49 PM | Link to this

SexyLeggs I really didn’t have a hangover but it did take me a while to finally get out of bed. Thanks for asking though.

Slim now sipping on a Pineapple Pleasure Smoothie with extra strawberries and a dash of ginseng

By Jewel

February 15, 2007 12:50 PM | Link to this

I will not date a man who previously dated:

• An astronaut
• A woman who loves to skydive
• A woman who has “A Thin Line Between Love & Hate” and “Fatal Attraction” in her all-time favorite movie collection

By JustMe

February 15, 2007 12:51 PM | Link to this

Good Afternoon SlimOne, SexyLeggs, QC, Demi, NMusing, GA Man, Justin, Jake, Moccha, Randy, Linguist, LL, and anyone else who I missed.

I am safe and sound today :-)

If you could send a message to the bad daters in Atlanta, what would you say? How have they messed things up for you?

Because so many men want to have their cake and eat it too, I would have to start with if there is a woman claiming you as her SO, then stop trying to date single women.

What is your definition of a good guy? Is there a fine line between a genuinely good guy and a wuss?

To me a good guy is a MAN who is honest and put his self respect and integrity above all else. He will not use or be used by others. He is a MAN who takes his responsibilities seriously and has a plan for his future (read: not living day to day).

What type of man or woman do you really respect?

I respect both men and women who are honest and keep it real.

Are you a reformed misguided dater? What made you straighten up and fly (date) right? * Thankfully I can say no to this. It has never been JustMe to deal with people she did not have a genuine interest in initially. Not every person I’ve met has had LT potential, that includes my female friends as well. If JustMe think you are smarmy (a low life) then I will not build bonds or forge friendships with you.*

By Justin

February 15, 2007 12:52 PM | Link to this

Michael,

Another girl that I hang out with here told me that she has a lot of issues stemming from her ex and what he did. She also told me on Tuesday that she’s accustomed to being treated a certain way, and that everything should be about her. Hence, she was sitting home alone on valentines day. I went out to a party instead.

And that is exactly what she deserved…now she will become accustomed to “being alone”.

By Raqi

February 15, 2007 1:02 PM | Link to this

Misguided Daters Lesson No. 5876: Get over it already.

I just had lunch in a part of town where after my break-up with Whitebread I would not dare to go if I could help it. I didn’t want to risk being reminded of the better times that we spent together there because my heart would break all over again. Mind you, I carried the man’s baby for nine months. That was the biggest reminder if nothing else. But anyway, when I pulled into the parking lot I had to laugh at myself thinking, once upon a time you couldn’t have paid me to come here. Man I tell you, the mental weight we carry…

By Dr. Kym aka Relationship Expert

February 15, 2007 1:02 PM | Link to this

Good Afternoon All,

Have not read all the comments, but I dont think Phillp’s Arena will hold all the so-called bad daters of Atlanta. Because right now someone somewhere is thinking you were a bad date or bad relationship. No you may not be a gold-digger, or a cheater, but something about you made them think “My God why am I still screwing around with this moron..or This heifer here is working my last good nerve I am so going to drop her a*..” What works for some may not work for others. An while it maybe a sad state of affairs (Justin cover your eyes) even golddiggers and cheaters have their place in the circle of dating. If nothing else this person is out there as say a warning beacon, or a signal light that helps guide you to a few truths spoken time and time again..All that glitters is not gold and while the grass looks green over there honey someone has to mow it. I dont think there is a great guy or the perfect guy..never met him. Just like there is no perfect gal. What looks like the perfect guy to me maybe someone else’s worst nightmare. IMO it is about perception.

Justin I was just at the grocery store over there on Cascade..now I only saw one person shopping in a furcoat and she was a granny. But I was not impressed by the store at all…my buggy had a wobble wheel, and the only folks in the store where old grandpas. I was expecting a little more for the book, but now I was in Kroger maybe the high society women were in the Publix’s.

By Dr. Kym aka Relationship Expert

February 15, 2007 1:08 PM | Link to this

Oh yeah one last thing…Wisey and others that have iTunes if you get a chance download a NPR podcast called Rough Cuts.(shameless plug for today) They had a discussion yesterday called …Where is the ring and why are people staying single longer. Did you know there was a institute for healthy marriages?

By Mackin a$$ Rell

February 15, 2007 1:10 PM | Link to this

What up boo’s…..i am in the bldg

hey justme..i see you made it..good.

Bad daters…actually it is just a lack of confidence and game in most men. Now-a-days dudes lead with there wallets intsead of there mouth piece. They feel there assets will get a women. But really all it does is stick them in the TRICK/SIMP lane. Brothers need to start putting value in themselves as men and there seed. Stop spreading themselves thin with every lil hoodrat chick that cannot or will not bring anything to the table…

By Confused

February 15, 2007 1:10 PM | Link to this

@By Dr. Kym aka Relationship Expert

Too funny…I wanted to do a Methodist joke regarding one of Justin’s post oe of these days but chose not too bc it would have been taken out of context and trust I was born and raised Methodist (die hard) but never went to Cascade UMC but anyway….That was funny

By Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a closet FULL of T-shirts)

February 15, 2007 1:10 PM | Link to this

I feel ya Diamondsyd.
I don’t have to look very far into my closet to pull out a few of those FZ t-shirts. A lady I really liked (and wanted more from, as most guys in the FZ do) put me in the position you described. I was maybe six months, and a number of empty one night stands, out of a relationship that really left me hurting. One day I decided that I could not handle her using me anymore to be her ‘sounding board’ and I cut her off. I felt like such and a$$, but I had to get away from it or it would continue to cut me up inside, because I wanted her. She still occasionally IM’s me even now, 4 years later, but it is best to let the dead bury the dead.

Been in the FZ several times, and swear to God I will never be there again.

By Justin

February 15, 2007 1:13 PM | Link to this

As far as a woman going through my things trying to find something, she would be out of there in a minute. Not that I am hiding anything, but that is disrespectful and insecure.

By SexyLeggs

February 15, 2007 1:14 PM | Link to this

Justin I agree with your post about some women using their children as pawns in a divorce. I am making sure that I don’t do this. I’ve heard this time and time again, and I’ve witnessed it over and over again. I take my 12-year old daughter to see her father every weekend(he no longer has a car). She spends the night over their every other weekend. I do not say bad things about him in front of her and I never will. When I realized that going to counseling by myself wasn’t helping me AT ALL, I knew (along with other areas of concern), that this marriage was over. Although I was the one that ended the marriage, I am not going to end the daughter/father bond. I wouldn’t be a strong black woman if I did that.

By Alabama

February 15, 2007 1:15 PM | Link to this

@ WD

I try and stay positive but those negative emotions continue to creep in but I’m working on it. Thanks

By Justin

February 15, 2007 1:16 PM | Link to this

Dr. Kym aka Relationship Expert, they now shop at the Camp Creek Marketplace area…

By Justin

February 15, 2007 1:17 PM | Link to this

Justme,, Good afternoon!

By Justin

February 15, 2007 1:21 PM | Link to this

SexyLeggs, I commend and applaud you! I wish more women would follow your lead.

Confused, Stay away from Cascade UMC. You will become infected by the attitude of many of the women there…

By Tim Hardaway 's cuz

February 15, 2007 1:21 PM | Link to this

I hate gays and blacks.

By Mackin a$$ Rell

February 15, 2007 1:22 PM | Link to this

another thing Men stop being lead around by these women. She should fall under your program. Stop convicing these women you are the one. She should be interested to see for herself..without your PR agent showing up…stop being responsible for there happiness..she was a person before she meet you..continue. Give your women task/chores/quotes…Lead by example..feel me…stop bellyachin over that booger wolf female that took you for a ride…she was a player about hers..you were simping and she took advantage of that..charge her to the game..pop your collar on her hustle and keep it moving.

By Confused

February 15, 2007 1:23 PM | Link to this

SexLeggs…Great post…Give it up to the great DADS…This includes you to Justin…with time things will get better!!!!!

By QC

February 15, 2007 1:25 PM | Link to this

hey JustMe, Demi

By JustMe

February 15, 2007 1:29 PM | Link to this

Mackin A$$ Rell Now-a-days dudes lead with there wallets intsead of there mouth piece. They feel there assets will get a women. But really all it does is stick them in the TRICK/SIMP lane. Brothers need to start putting value in themselves as men and there seed. Stop spreading themselves thin with every lil hoodrat chick that cannot or will not bring anything to the table…

You might get a call from the MLB bout dis, but you are so on point……. I always tell guys, there has to be something better about you than your sex or your $$. That’s what I want to see.

Kym Who are you and where is the Kym of old, you seem a lot wiser these days (compliment).

SexyLeggs I did, and I paid attention to all of the warning signs you all so graciously pointed out to me. I did not hear from him last night, so maybe my razor tounge lashing has gotten to him. I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

Blog question Should you call a player when his game has been revealed (even if by accident)?

By Confused

February 15, 2007 1:30 PM | Link to this

Justin I am dying I am doing grad chapter and some of my potentials attend there but I don’t and won’t not bc of what you think I am going to be come but bc I don’t fit in with the WESTSIDE mantality….I am too down to earth and as you implied they are I am not materialistic…Never had been!!!

By Justin

February 15, 2007 1:30 PM | Link to this

Confused, Thank you! I pray my ex will go to see “Daddy’s Little Girls” and see what she is doing is wrong. But, until she gets over her narcissitic attitude, she can’t make any change. I must admit, I too must change. Most of the time, I am fine and live my life. However, when she pulls some crap with the children, it makes me mad to see how she manipulates them. She should keep them out of it.

By Confused

February 15, 2007 1:34 PM | Link to this

I had a guy tell me recently I was out of his league and I laughed my a* off!!!! I am a kool down to earth chick who loves sports and chilling…

By Get over it!

February 15, 2007 1:36 PM | Link to this

LL and Justin, please, please get over it! There are plenty of men in Atlanta that are EVERY BIT as picky about their choice of women as you think women are. This is especially true because of the ratio of men to women in this city. There are many men who won’t date women that are a little overweight, don’t have big butts/breasts, have a child, don’t have high-paying jobs, ect…

By Females Complain

February 15, 2007 1:38 PM | Link to this

Here is an email that I got a couple of days ago that describes females to the fullest!

The Husband Store

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE !

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On t he first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord. The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking. “Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework. “Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!” Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Females are never satisfied!

By Justin

February 15, 2007 1:39 PM | Link to this

The best advice I can give the Ladies is the following…

• Be yourself and enjoy your hobbies • Stay healthy and take care of yourself • Stay open to new activities (i.e., if you don’t hike, try it) • Be open to meeting new people who are different • Honest • We like nice women, which doesn’t mean being a pushover • Be firm about things that go against your morals and make you uncomfortable • Don’t become intimate too soon
• Protect your reputation. We don’t want to bump into exes all over the city. • Don’t be rigid and ritualistic

By SexyLeggs

February 15, 2007 1:41 PM | Link to this

Justin thank you. I truly hope your situation improves. Don’t know how many divorce men/women are on this blog, but let me put this out. If you’re messing with your children’s minds in terms of the bad qualities of the other parent STOP IT RIGHT NOW. It’s not necessary. You guys are their parents and children love their parents NO MATTER WHAT. Take a crack head with child - that child loves her/his parent. That love may cease somewhere down the road, but let that be the child’s decision not yours because you planted some BS (although some may be true) in their head. Wake up and look at the child not at your dang EX.

By kinderbabe

February 15, 2007 1:44 PM | Link to this

i’ve read some mini novels and mega dramas on here about what’s wrong w/everyone else….what about self?? self reflection is the best kind. jewel i like how you think.:) your point of view is very positive and reflective.

By Mackin a$$ Rell

February 15, 2007 1:49 PM | Link to this

Just…explain, bust a player..lol. this should be good

i am not worried about a MLB..the truth is the truth…i see cats going about it all wrong..begging for a number, calling a women with no real direction on what to do or where to take the relationship..forgetting that she has to make an investment in you also….and do that early…stop tricking..she does not need a 100 dollar dinner to say hey i like you…see what i can do…that is not how you start…everything is earned..and that is on both parties..i am speaking to my men…stop all the dayum bellyachin…steer clear of the kool-aid extensions and hair color….the cycle is only going to stop when the MEN get there balls back from society and take control…and i am talking leading the dayum thing..not just controlling but leading

By JustMe

February 15, 2007 1:56 PM | Link to this

Mackin

This guy likes to send sweet text messages, well what he doesn’t know is that when he send them to my NExTel phone, I see all the other people he has sent the same message to as well - LOL

I have already decided that this guy is not on the same page as I am, but he continues to toss his hat toward my ring. I’ve stopped calling him already, so every few days I get one of these messages. When I got the first one with all the phone #’s of the other recipients, I sent him a text message back that said “OK Player” - LOL

I guess he has not figured out what he has done yet, so he keeps doing it over and over again.

Should I tell him that his rotation has been exposed or let it ride or should I say “Playa Playa, you dun went and showed ya whole hand?”

By SlimOne

February 15, 2007 2:01 PM | Link to this

Um…what does MLB mean?

By Fulton

February 15, 2007 2:05 PM | Link to this

Types of women that are a turn-off? Let’s see now…how about the shallow, mall-lounging, driven-by-excess, drama queens that are so caught up with each passing ‘trend’ they have no actual idea of their true self. Yep, those are the ones that totally turn me off. The ones I respect? Those that see the larger picture and are able to extend themselves outside of their own little box. Hey Confused give me a holla!!

By MusingLee

February 15, 2007 2:06 PM | Link to this

JustMe Any man that has holes in his rap is not even a playa….Please stop calling him that…He has entered Busta status.

By Mackin a$$ Rell

February 15, 2007 2:07 PM | Link to this

CHARGE HIM TO THE GAME. no need let him continue to do that simpish behavior..feel me. Get yourself in order like posted above..pick up a new hobby…

By Confused

February 15, 2007 2:09 PM | Link to this

Wow JustMe, my Nextel never gave such info!!!! But I guess you were ment to know the truth…

By Confused

February 15, 2007 2:13 PM | Link to this

Hey Fulton what is the deal…It took a minute to think out side the box but I got there not aced it yet but the drama is gone…life is too short and I have so much to do that I thought I could bc of fear…not my EX bless his heart!!!! It’s almost the weekend and holiday at that!!!!

By Mackin a$$ Rell

February 15, 2007 2:14 PM | Link to this

Ladies beware of the cell phone mack…if you don’t get alot of face time with this cat…that should send up red flags…lets stop the bs…lets call it out..thats why we are here..stop falling for the okey doke..one on one communication it the best..not lil brown nosenin text or emails…if he is a player about is..he will give you things to do before you see him…feel me

By JustMe

February 15, 2007 2:16 PM | Link to this

Musing Busta is about right - LOL

Mackin He is definitely “charged”, but evertime I see the list of numbers and MY NAME), I can’t help but wondering if anyone else is getting this same information.

Confused Have someone you know using NexTel to send you and another person the same text message at the same time. Scroll down beneath the message and see if the other person phone number or name is attached.

Dayum I was hoping y’all would say bust him out, but I digress, it’s water under the bridge.

By Justin

February 15, 2007 2:20 PM | Link to this

Females Complain, good one!

By NCgirlfromATL

February 15, 2007 2:21 PM | Link to this

JustMe I was in a similar situation as your text message situation…twice w/ diff men! LOL! One guy accidentally called my number, but was trying to call another woman and called me by the wrong name. I didn’t sweat it only b/c I wasn’t that interested in him, and was disappointed that he didn’t think on his feet faster than to just hang up on me. The other guy sent me an e-card that he’d also sent to 10 other women. I was p!ssed about that one b/c we’d been in a relationship for a while. I called him on it. Didn’t end well. I think it depends on how invested you are in the man. If he’s someone you’re really into, you can’t let that kind of stuff slide…it will be a pattern for the rest of your relationship. He’ll think he’s gotten away w/ it, and you’ll start to resent him for lying to you about the nature of your relationship. But, if it’s just casual, not looking for anything serious…you can bring it up (just to let him know that you’re not completely clueless), but laugh it off.

I think that was the advice the blog gave me w/ the phone call guy. LOLOL!

By Confused

February 15, 2007 2:22 PM | Link to this

Thanks JustMe…Will do…

By cool breeze

February 15, 2007 2:25 PM | Link to this

Love shouldn’t have to be earned nor respect. That’s a problem right there. Love asks what it can give, not get and there is no fear in love. It’s not something for people who are scared.

By Mackin a$$ Rell

February 15, 2007 2:31 PM | Link to this

Just me…have you been listing to the macklessons podcast….that i digress sounds real familiar..lol

By cool breeze

February 15, 2007 2:45 PM | Link to this

LL is keeping it so real and yes women do have very slective hearing. I tell them how I am and my interests from the jump because I don’t ever want them to say I didn’t tell them and so they can make a better informed decision. However later they try and get mad about some things whether it’s how passionate I am about art or football during the season and i am like I told you when we first met, what’s the problem? They don’t listen. They ain’t listening to you now and even taking time to consider what you are saying.

By JustMe

February 15, 2007 2:45 PM | Link to this

NC ATL Ain’t that some ish…….. This is a guy I dated breifly last year. Lately, he has taken to calling and wanting to get into these “SportSpeak” discussions about why I put him on waivers - LOL I’ve laready told him that I thought he was not ready to be a “Franchise Player”, but he insits he is seeking a “SuperBowl Ring” I could go on for days about our “SportsSpeak”. I have already accepted the idea that we won’t have a LTR. He’s a nice, I do have fun with him when we date, but i’ve resolved myself to the fact that he is only as good as our current date. When it happened the first time, it caught me off guard. I haven’t and won’t be calling any of the numbers. So I sent him the “Ok Player” message. I didn’t respond to the 2nd message that had all the numbers. Today he sends me another text to my other cell phone (no list of recipients). Men don’t like the silent treatment…… shhhhhh I guess next time I do answer, I’ll just tell him to remove me from his (non existent rotation) and remind him he is still a free agent.

By cool breeze

February 15, 2007 2:50 PM | Link to this

@diamondsyd: To saty out of the friend zone tell the girls up front what you are looking and ask for what you want. I talk to women and ask them on dates and if they say I think we should be friends first I walk away. That is a waste of time for where I am going/trying to get to. I date quite a bit though it’s slowed recently as I’ve met women that are looking for what I am so taking more time to get to know them but ask for what you want and don’t settle for less. Friendship is anot a prerequisite for relationships and marriage. You are going to/SHOULD become friends during the course of the relationship so why try and put the cart before the horse? I used to be put in the friendzone but then I changed tactics and not surprisingly started to get what I wanted which was women interested in dating from the jump.

By Jake

February 15, 2007 2:54 PM | Link to this

Slim

MLB refers to the Man Law Book- When discussing individuals you still refer to group as The MLB- the walkin, talkin, version of the Book.

By JustMe

February 15, 2007 2:59 PM | Link to this

Mackin I digress I picked it up from round these blog parts…… :-)

By Confused

February 15, 2007 3:00 PM | Link to this

@cool breeze I had a guy to tell me that what you just said I had to think I did not have a come back bc I never took friendships for what thery were…ex go to college, graduate , get marry, have a family, not be friends and I damn sure did not see my parents or family be friends it was what society said do and they are all miserable now but I caught mine early I rfuse to do 30 years uhappy and not live for me…Not having it so I am taking friendships more serious and I am learning to keep them through the good , bad, and ugly!!! GREAT POST!!!!

By MusingLee

February 15, 2007 3:02 PM | Link to this

Ladies the Good D Booth is now open…demi is mixing drinks wearing his bananna leaf, flip-flops and white socks while holding a bottle of tanning oil.

Now flipping the switch to the hidden cameras installed throughout the Good D Booth….Videos will be used later to blackmail it’s patrons

By SlimOne

February 15, 2007 3:03 PM | Link to this

Jake I kindly appreciate the translation. ^5

By Redd

February 15, 2007 3:07 PM | Link to this

Musing i’m right on time to join the Good D Booth oh my and you’ve installed a “camera” let me be the 1st one inside

By Georgia

February 15, 2007 3:14 PM | Link to this

After reading poor Justins posts, about his ex manipulating the kids, all I can say is I am very thankful my ex-hubby dropped of the face of the earth. We have not heard from him in over 10 years. I don’t have to deal with ANY of his crap, and he cannot manipulate my kids…….on the flip side, I don’t get any child support. But, that’s just fine with me. I would rather bust my hump and work two jobs to support my kids, than have that jerk try to manipulate them or me through them. Plus, I don’t have to share them on holidays. I get each and every single holiday with my babies…….

By JustMe

February 15, 2007 3:21 PM | Link to this

Cool Breeze I understand you philosophy, but I do not agree. THe guys whom I have the “greatest love” for were my friends before my lovers. I don’t mean friends for years prior to our relationship, but that we became friend through our course of dating, which led to bigger and better things. It is possible to have a great date with someone, and shortly there after make a commitment, but somewhere along the way hopefully a friendship has been established. I think the friendship should be the foundation of any longstanding relationship. But that’s JustMe

Musing Are you having a comedy show at the Good “D” booths? I am looking for more than just Good “D”. DOn’t get me wrong, Good “D” is a beautiful thang, but there has to be more to the MAN than the Good “D”.

By JustMe

February 15, 2007 3:22 PM | Link to this

Georgia I wish, oh how I wish, but that’s a whole notha Oprah!

By SexyLeggs

February 15, 2007 3:25 PM | Link to this

musingLee dang, did you have to kill the visual with the white socks and flip flops….sound like an old man is over there fixing drinks…LOL

By MusingLee

February 15, 2007 3:28 PM | Link to this

JustMe The Good D Booth only provides entertainment throughout the weekend….If you need more than Good D then I can’t help you…..Please step to the side as you are holding up the line…..I suggest you take this Good D then go home and watch the Jeffersons for you comedy.

By SlimOne

February 15, 2007 3:30 PM | Link to this

Musing do you all offer any other services at the GOOD D booth such as MP?

By SexyLeggs

February 15, 2007 3:32 PM | Link to this

SlimOne A friend just called asking me about “the bullet” and I laughed because because your last post yesterday was it was going to be you and the bullet last night. I was hollering.

By SlimOne

February 15, 2007 3:39 PM | Link to this

SexyLeggs I actually stood Mr. Bullet up last night. I just wasn’t in the mood to be bothered…LOL!

By MusingLee

February 15, 2007 3:43 PM | Link to this

SlimOne Look, the only thing you get at the Good D Booth is Good D…We don’t have fancy bells and whistle like some of our competitors….No two for one coupons and any other gimicks…The one thing you are sure to get when you come here is a nice relaxed p-dussy…..It’s what has kept us in business all these years….Come in get “stretched out”, fall asleep, and go home….And what the hellz is MP????

By NCgirlfromATL

February 15, 2007 3:46 PM | Link to this

demi is mixing drinks wearing his bananna leaf, flip-flops and white socks while holding a bottle of tanning oil

…ashy knees and all!

Why did I just have mental picture of Mr. Brown from the Madear plays?

LMAO!!!

By JustMe

February 15, 2007 3:46 PM | Link to this

Musing Thanks, but No. Good “D” mixed with JustMe can easily result in fireworks and waterfalls. I need to know that the beneficiary is worthy of all that goodness!

When I want to laugh I’ll ask you for a blog skit :-)

SlimOne What the heck is MP? I hope I don’t regret asking this question

By Redd

February 15, 2007 3:48 PM | Link to this

Musing what if we don’t wanna go home and choose to stay at “the booth” all night; then what??????

By SexyLeggs

February 15, 2007 3:48 PM | Link to this

MusingLee Dayyuumm. ROFL..straight to the point. Too funny get “stretched out”, fall asleep…SlimOne I do understand. Sometime you look at it and say, NAW..

By cool breeze

February 15, 2007 3:49 PM | Link to this

@JustMe. I tried the friend route and I wasted alot of time when I was younger as the women would say “I don’t want to ruin the friendship we have”, or “If we date we can’t go back to being friends” and so one pulling things from the female handbook. After getting tired of that and observing that parents, friends and family weren’t getting married to women they were friends with first I said “not anymore” and after that things opened up alot.I found out from the beginning if they girl thought I was cute and interested enough in getting to know me better and it took alot of thinking and confusion out of it and don’t have to keep asking “well it’s been 4 months she has to know I’m kool now but is it a good time to try again?” and all that. I have a guy friend that always tries to be friends and it never works for him and all he gets is the friend zone. He is always stressing about what to do after awhile. I tell him what friends mean in “girl-speak” like you are not cute enough for me to date so I’ll hang out a bit and see if there’s something about you I can find attractive. I don’t have time for all that. It’s called a girl-friend not the reverse. Friend is on the end.

By SlimOne

February 15, 2007 3:49 PM | Link to this

*MP= Mouth Piece LOLOLOLOL

Slim now singing SWV, you gotta go downtown. That’s the way to my love. You gotta go round and round. You can’t stop til you find my love boy downtown

By Jewel

February 15, 2007 3:50 PM | Link to this

Kinderbabe Life will teach you. My grandmother told me if I did something right the first time, I would not have to do it over again. She was referring to housecleaning, but the principle is applicable to other areas…and it has helped me with personal accountability.

By MusingLee

February 15, 2007 3:55 PM | Link to this

SlimOne I knew you was a nasty girl…LOLOLOL…Well there is a collieflower inspection first, but Yes that is available for a premium.

And Redd you can only stay overnight if you’ve booked the Lovers Rock Suite….Other than that you’re gonna wakeup next to the back alley wino w/all your ishh in a plastic bag.

By SlimOne

February 15, 2007 4:09 PM | Link to this

Musing I have my papers and all is clear on the collieflower test. All systems are a GO.

By Mackin a$$ Rell

February 15, 2007 4:10 PM | Link to this

breeze i with you….friends = hoochie nugga..you will be swapping the latest gossip on beyonce/jayz…who was the best on american idol..etc, instead of tearing down those suga walls..no man likes to be stuck in the friend zone..but if you find yourself in the zone..start macking to her friends, cousins, aunties…lol, ya know they will let her know that she is missing out..she will come back around then…

By Redd

February 15, 2007 4:10 PM | Link to this

Musing i’ll be more than happy to book the Lovers Rock Suite just put it on my pink puddy card ;)

By SeanJohnson

February 15, 2007 4:11 PM | Link to this

@ Slimone..i refer to MP..mouth piece..as my ability to talk my way into or out of any situation….or panties…so that definition varies..

By JustMe

February 15, 2007 4:14 PM | Link to this

Cool I do understand what you are saying I guess I just hink in the course of becoming lovers, you have to start somewhere, or are you using the caveman method of clubbing themover the head and claiming them as soon as they re gain conciousness :-)

Friendship and mutual respect make for a dayum good foundation for a relationship. The world is a lot different now then it was when our parents and grand parents were getting married. Not to mention a lot of men and women from those generations suffered in silence because that is what society expected of them.

By SlimOne

February 15, 2007 4:19 PM | Link to this

@SJ well for future reference whenever you address me and use MP, I will assume you are talking about something that doesn’t require talking. I guess DT also has more than one meaning as well depending on the context it’s used.

By Justin

February 15, 2007 4:21 PM | Link to this

Georgia, I am so tempted to tell all of you my ex’s name so you can let her know how lucky she is to have an ex-husband like me who plays an active role, in all ways, in the children’s lives. I just don’t want her in my life. I respect her as my children’s mother and treat our interaction as a business relationship. I only see at the physicians and school activities and that is the way it should be. However, there are times I have to tell her off when she tries to intrude into my personal life and how I run my house.

There are many women who don’t get any kind of support, in any way. My ex is mad at my family and friends because she felt they should’ve forced me to stay with her. She really needs help. I really feel she is mentally ill. That is part of the reason I am so angry. The court’s psychiatrist could see this, but the judge didn’t take her report seriously or even read it.

By abc

February 15, 2007 4:21 PM | Link to this

That whole ‘friend zone’ thing has never been my experience. I’ve always made friends with them first. If I can’t be friends with them I sure can’t be anything more than friends. In fact, I’ve never heard of ‘friend zone’ except for this blog.

By Wise Diva

February 15, 2007 4:23 PM | Link to this

you guys are a bunch of loons, LOL..I can never tell what direction things will go on here.

Dr. Kym.. thanks for the suggestion! I will check it out!

By JustMe

February 15, 2007 4:29 PM | Link to this

Y’all hve a fantastic evening!

And remember when you turn 90 years old and the desire for $ex has faded, you’ll want a good friend in the rocking chair next to yours :-)

By Mackin a$$ Rell

February 15, 2007 4:31 PM | Link to this

justme is that the line you used on that crazy dude…lol. have a good night….

By MusingLee

February 15, 2007 4:31 PM | Link to this

Now reserving the Lovers Rock Suite for Wise….also including a “Toe Curling Special”

Wise, your Good D will be up in 5min. Please don’t feel up on breadsticks. A full stomach isn’t good for the kind of work about to happen on you.

Musing hangs up lobby phone and grabs a bottle of Poweraid, removes his shirt and heads for the stairs

By Jewel

February 15, 2007 4:32 PM | Link to this

Friends Definition

I really am not looking for a serious relationship right now… This means: There is not a remote possibility that I will ever want you.

Let’s just be friends… This means: You are a really nice person…for someone else. However, I enjoy your conversation and hanging out occasionally. Especially if I need a male escort for a special event.

You know, the best relationships are the ones that start out as friends first. This means: I really like you and I am hoping you do not end up in the same pile of crap with the rest of the “misguided daters”…so, let’s take things slow.

By SeanJohnson

February 15, 2007 4:33 PM | Link to this

@Slimeone…what DT means..it means…cant change that..as far addressing you…..u are a lil hot in the pants i see…sounds like you need a good hosing off to cool you down..pun intended…lol

By abc

February 15, 2007 4:34 PM | Link to this

(a favorite standard of everyone)

Just friends, lovers no more;

Just friends, but not like before.

To think of what we’ve been

And not to kiss again seems like pretending;

It isn’t the ending.

Two friends drifting apart;

Two friends but one broken heart.

We loved, we laughed, we cried,

And suddenly love died.

The story ends,

And we’re just friends.

By THE INFAMOUS DK

February 15, 2007 4:40 PM | Link to this

Sup..

I do solemly swear that I am a BAD DATER.. I like to date more than one woman and do not wish to commit to anyone. I love being free..

By Wise Diva

February 15, 2007 4:40 PM | Link to this

ohh, MusingLee could I request the Maxwell Urban Hang Suite please? thanks a bunch

cueing Till The Cops Come Knocking

By SlimOne

February 15, 2007 4:42 PM | Link to this

SJ Can one really be hot in the pants if he/she isn’t getting any? (not active) Also, I didn’t think a good hosing down led to cooling someone off, I thought it made you more hot??

By SexyLeggs

February 15, 2007 4:44 PM | Link to this

Good night everybody…off to parent/teacher conference. Stay warm!!!

By MusingLee

February 15, 2007 4:48 PM | Link to this

Night All,

Be safe at S. Dekalb Mall.