Misadventures in Atlanta

By GA.man

April 13, 2007 8:31 AM | Link to this

Good Morning aahhh ooohh stayed up too late watching sports…where is the coffee Slim

By kinderbabe

April 13, 2007 8:38 AM | Link to this

good morning all!:) happy birthday, demi!!:)

i think that as we get older we excercise caution b/c we’ve been through more. for some classic situations, i recognize the signs a lot sooner. kind of like your situation diva lol. there are some key familiar words that allow me to weed the guy out that much faster. i just call it wisdom, not paranoia.:)

By Dr. Kym aka Relationship Expert

April 13, 2007 8:39 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

Wisey never ever ever apologize for who you are.. or doubt your intuition on a guy. Sorry but with age does come wisdom and experience. I too am looking the ripe age of 35 in the face(July baby) and at some point we all grow up. What you did at 20 and what you needed during your carefree days is different than what your needs are now. To quote one of my favorite songs…”That’s Life” and we change and grow.

You saw the differences in background and ideology and said ok this will not work doesn’t mean you are writing this guy off too quick it means this is not going to work so moving on. Doesn’t meant this guy was the wrong guy…just the wrong guy for you period.

I am cautious but that is because I dont want to be hurt again and since I dont play dating games nor participate in dating rules I have little time for the guys who do. So to answer your question….When you are dating someone new, does it take a lot for you to believe in them?

I listen, I observe, I give the benefit of the doubt…and when I sense this is going on the slow boat to nowhere I say so. Because I have learned what my level of tolerance is and if this guy is not someone I can tolerate then why bother hanging in there.

By SlimOne

April 13, 2007 8:51 AM | Link to this

Morning Gaman, how many creams and sugars do you need buddy?

By Sexione

April 13, 2007 8:58 AM | Link to this

Happy Friday Folks!!

With age comes wisdom, don’t apologize for using it.

Sexi now creeping into blog bar for a morning Margarita

By Jen

April 13, 2007 8:59 AM | Link to this

You know. there’s a great post about frogs and princes over at babbleofthesexes.com

The authors of the blog also wrote the book, Marriable: Taking the Desperate Out of Dating and one of my favorites, The Art of Rejection. I say all this because they’re coming to ATL tomorrow - Sat. the 14th - for a singles event at First Baptist ATL. More info is at itsunplugged.org

Jen

By GA.man

April 13, 2007 8:59 AM | Link to this

Hello

By Wise Diva

April 13, 2007 9:02 AM | Link to this

TGIF everyone, I am so happy the weekend is almost here!

Thanks for the links Jen!

By QC

April 13, 2007 9:04 AM | Link to this

Morning Bloggers have a great day/weekend……

hey GA.man, kinderbabe, Slim1, Musing, Demi, JustMe, err’body

By MusingLee

April 13, 2007 9:10 AM | Link to this

Morn’in All,

do men also sense things when it comes to believing the women they date

Wise, beleive it or not, Men do sense when things aren’t right also. However, we temper those feelings with facts…Instead of completely trusting our emotions, we do research…Unlike most Women.

Musing comes completely prepared with blog riot gear and shield

Hey QC.

By Constant_Daydreamer

April 13, 2007 9:14 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone….I’m returning to the blogging scene. I’m the blogger formally known Mr. Fitchick.

By ImAPeach404

April 13, 2007 9:14 AM | Link to this

Mornin’ everybody

I promise not to start a revolution today…

Like I said yesterday, what took you 6 months to notice at 19, now only take about 2 weeks (or less) to figure out at 29. That can only come with experience. I too am quick to bail because I start to recognize signs in a man, however, I don’t think after a quick meeting in an airport and one disagreement I would have written the guy off. (Depending on what the argument was about) I love opinions that are different than mine, If nothing else, he would have been good for a debate here and there.

Appropriate story

I met a guy last week when I was at WindDown Wednesday. The conversation was easy and plentiful and the chemistry was great. I gave him my number and waited, and waited and waited for him to call. Lol, he wound up calling me on (Easter) Sunday. We only talked for like 2 minutes because I was in the middle of something. I finally had a chance to call him back on Wednesday, we talked for about an hour, it was nice. Ok, so how about on Thursday he calls me and says he needs a favor - WTH??? you already need a favor!!! How about this fool asked me to rent him a car this weekend… he said he’d give me the cash immediately, but he needed me to rent it for him. I just shook my head and clearly and flatly said “No”.

*Enter theme music ‘Another one Bites the Dust’

By cool breeze

April 13, 2007 9:15 AM | Link to this

I can understand where he’s coming from being a guy. I’ve let a couple go because of support or I should say NON-SUPPORT, issues. Good for him he can recognize things so fast and choose to move along in his search.

By T-Mango

April 13, 2007 9:16 AM | Link to this

Good morning.

Am I constantly interested in the wrong type of guy or do I have a tendency to bail too fast on men? In my past, I have been interested in men that have more aesthetic qualities than internal content and heart. That was in my 20’s. Today, I focus more on the heart of a man and his vision for his life. I don’t think I bail out too quickly. But, as some other bloggers have said ‘with age comes wisdom’. I can work with a man on alot of things. For example, if he has a goal that he is working to achieve and I see the hunger in him to achieve it…I’ll work with him and support him. I’ll even deal with issues. However, if the things ‘that I’m working with him’ on begin to impede my own happiness, progress, and growth then I have to make a decision to leave or stay.

We all have things that we need someone to ‘work with’. But how deep are those issues that I’m asking someone to work with? How much do you expect a person to give? While I’m ‘working with you’, what are you giving me in return? Are my needs being met? These are the types of questions that I seek answers to at this stage in my life.

I think it’s better to be alone and become the best person that you can be individually before you invite someone else in to share your life. If you fix you first, then there should be less for a person that is ‘working with you’ to do when they enter your life.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

April 13, 2007 9:16 AM | Link to this

Morning ALL, TGIF!! I am sooo glad its friday!!

SlimOne let me get a cafe mocha please w/a muffin! Girl I didnt know you ran the blog cafe as well!! Talk about a jack of all trades!! LOL

Happy Birthday Demi!

I’ll pop back in to comment on topic later, got to make some calls to get this car in order first..

By Lady J

April 13, 2007 9:20 AM | Link to this

Morning All!!! Happy Friday!!! Everyone have a great weekend!!!

By Raqi

April 13, 2007 9:25 AM | Link to this

Mr. Fitchick how is the Mrs?

By Sexione

April 13, 2007 9:26 AM | Link to this

Peach HA!!! rent him a car WTF???? You did exactly what I would have done……NEXT!!! lol

Okay…

A few weeks back I met a police officer (not really my thing) on patrol in my subdivision. He stopped and for a few minutes we had interesting and funny banter. He made it a point to throw his number into the convo several times, so I’m like okay, I’ll jot it down. Well, I decided to give him a call. After talking back and forth for a while that evening (he was on duty), he starts spewing what I felt were “lines”…so I jokingly let him know they sounded like “lines”. Now for some folks this can take the conversation and make it more interesting, but ole boy got defensive and said something to the fact that “women would rather hear lies than the truth”….I’m like “whatever, if it sounds like a line, it just sounds like a line…no harm, no foul”. Well lets just say I never bothered to call him again, and he has never called me……NEXT!! Plus, I’d already noticed how small his hands were……hmmm LOL I’m expecting a few blog bullets for that last statement…oh well

By MrHughes

April 13, 2007 9:27 AM | Link to this

I think the “good match” thing can be a bit overstated. Isn’t a large part of the point of having relationships and meeting people about learning something from them? Wouldn’t life be boring if everyone dated carbon copies of themselves. I love having a signifigant other that challenges me and makes me think about the world in different and exciting ways. For example, my gf is in favor of the death penalty. She’d be fine with cops executing proven murderer caught red handed at the crime scene rather than allowing them the “priviledge” of a trial by jury. I’m a true believer in the jursisprudential process and believe that “justice for all” truly applies to all, even the scumbags and gulitiest and the guilty. Are we doomed because we have different world views? She learned more about managing money and a household at a young age because her parents got a divorce and her father didn’t help out. Her mom raised her and her sister on a salary that was at or below the poverty level. Conversely, my parents are upper middle class and my homelife was the definition of stable because I am an only child I got pretty much whatever I needed and in some cases wanted. Our differing experiences helped her to teach me to manage my money better and I’ve taught her to treat herself every now and then and not tuck everything away for a rainey day. Are we doomed because we have different life experiences? I feel like every woman I’ve ever dated has taught me something and in the end is what makes me a better man today. Don’t be so quick to bail because someone seems too different from you. They might be exactly what you need. I orginally thought my gf was too different from me, but now can say that she was the best thing to ever happen to me. We’re a great match because we compliment each other…

By QC

April 13, 2007 9:27 AM | Link to this

Happy Birthday Demi

By Chullato

April 13, 2007 9:28 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

Wise Right decision on youngblood, as Jay-Z stated “Only 21 and over, let another (expletive) mold em”

Do you ever regret bailing on a potential relationship too soon? I have a few regrets, not that the relationship ended, but how I acted in the relationship

When you are dating someone new, does it take a lot for you to believe in them? No, not much at all. I’m an optimist and believe there everyone’s intentions are good in the beginning. However, I also know that I was dealing with humans, therefore I expected the truth to be stretched a bit and there to be a few bones in the closet.

By SlimOne

April 13, 2007 9:30 AM | Link to this

Mo I can’t even take the credit on running the blog cafe. I actually have a little monkey behind the counter that does all the work and all i have to pay him is bananas. So one cafe mocha coming up, and what type of our various delicious muffins did you want to devour this morning?

By cool breeze

April 13, 2007 9:31 AM | Link to this

good stuff MusingLee

By Dr. Kym aka Relationship Expert

April 13, 2007 9:31 AM | Link to this

Peach it never ceases to amaze me the nerve of some guys. After two convos hey can you do me a favor….rent a car? Good grief why couldnt he do that for himself?

By SD

April 13, 2007 9:33 AM | Link to this

LMAO at IMAPEACH404 You have got to be kidding, Ninjas will try anything!!!! Good Morning to all and Happy Friday!!!! I think now a days you have to have your guard up a little bit whenever you meet someone new. You just never know. I was at the beach last week with my daughter and this guy was a little flirty. Now me being the person I am at first you know, I just spoke because I am a friendly person and will speak to anybody. After I realized he was still watching, I thought crazy!!!! I am just cautious I guess and we need to be. You never know what kind of psycho you may be dealing with..Not calling that dude a psycho..he may have just saw something he liked but he%$, I was at the beach with my daughter..Not trying to pick up a man!

By Lady Dark w/Dimples

April 13, 2007 9:35 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Everyone!!

Do you ever regret bailing on a potential relationship too soon?

Never! If it didn’t evolve into a relationship it was because it didn’t have what it takes….and I’m sure I had my reasons. I can’t think of one guy that I passed on that I even gave a second thought afterwards.

When you are dating someone new, does it take a lot for you to believe in them?

It doesn’t take alot…it just takes time and consistency. I once heard a preacher say that while you’re dating keep both eyes open…after marriage, close one eye!

How do you tell the difference between good old fashion caution and dating paranoia?

I think when you are paranoid there is an element of fear with no rational basis. You’re decision or indecision is based on emotion. I think when one is cautious you are doing the research, collecting and analyzing the data…but still moving forward at a slow pace.

By Sexione

April 13, 2007 9:36 AM | Link to this

Happy Birthday Demi

By Constant_Daydreamer

April 13, 2007 9:37 AM | Link to this

Raqi….she is good thanks. As for the topic I believe it goes both ways we only get excited with the visual. We are so geeked about the person that attracts us most times we hope and pray that we can insert them into our on liitle fantasy about life. When that particular person starts to display any type non-conforming habits that when the ish hits the fan.

By ImAPeach404

April 13, 2007 9:38 AM | Link to this

Lol Sexi, you know!!! And, don’t you just love how this guy who has only talked to you 2 times already knows what you want to hear…

I feel like every woman I’ve ever dated has taught me something and in the end is what makes me a better man today. Great viewpoint MrHughes!

By Lady Dark w/Dimples

April 13, 2007 9:42 AM | Link to this

Peach I had a girlfriend who experienced the same thing…the first week of meeting her he asked her for money to pay his cell phone bill…the reason…his money was in another account and he didn’t want to touch it! Okay, so it’s okay to touch HER money???

Mr.Huges Being a good match doesn’t mean that you guys are exactly the same…a good match just means that you guys are compatible…like you and your g/f. Now, go out and get her a ring!!

By SlimOne

April 13, 2007 9:42 AM | Link to this

Howdy QC

T-Mango If you fix you first, then there should be less for a person that is ‘working with you’ to do when they enter your life. that’s makes a lot of sense.

ImAPeach404 I think you were justified in cutting that off with the quickness. It would’ve started off him asking you to rent cars then he would’ve been asking if he could stay with you. lol

Sexione I’d already noticed how small his hands were. Ohhh girl you’re a trip. lol

MrHughes Reading your story adds to my hopes that I too will find my special life partner.

By ImAPeach404

April 13, 2007 9:44 AM | Link to this

Kym… me either honey, I swear I could write a book. But the reason why is even better… apparently he doesn’t have a credit card, he only had cash. I understand not everybody cares to have credit cards, thats cool… but wouldn’t a debit card be accepted??? That led me to believe he didn’t have a bank account either sigh

Yes SD, yes they will. I wish it weren’t true - because he was soooo good looking - but it was :(

Lol, I have another funny story to tell about a dude I met yesterday at the gym, but it really has nothing to do with the topic and I don’t want Officer Musing to write me a citation for paragraph violation

By browneyedbeauty

April 13, 2007 9:45 AM | Link to this

With age comes wisdom

Sorry, have to disagree with that. If you’re a fool when you’re young, then you will become an old fool. Plenty of old fools walking around.

You either have wisdom or you dont. It’s not something you acquire or obtain with age. If you make an error it’s not because you’re not wise- you just didn’t make a wise decision.

By GA.man

April 13, 2007 9:46 AM | Link to this

Dang peach ok see we agree…hellzz naw…i will not…thats crazy

Hey Mo QC Raqi Sexione(see you not speeding lol) LDD(hahahaha) Dr Kym

By Raqi

April 13, 2007 9:49 AM | Link to this

Per the guy’s response…Isn’t that what everyone wants?

One thing I noticed with me as I got older, the ability to bounce back quickly started to diminish therefore making my caution grow very close to paranoia. So set on not taking any more crap I started to get responses like “Damn woman I was just speaking!” because the BS meter would immediately hit the red zone. Was that because there was much BS being spewed from his mouth or was it because I just automatically assumed upon approach that the guy was coming with BS? I had to drop it down a notch and revert back to everyone is trustworthy until proven corrupt. I did get to the point, maybe not 100%, where I would decipher between statements made and statements avoided to sense genuine compatibility.

Being that I was once told that my marrying a friend of over 20 years was a dating cop out I guess I really don’t know then. (HA…right)

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

April 13, 2007 9:49 AM | Link to this

SlimOne I’ll take a blueberry muffin as I am sure all the banana nut are gone!!

You guys are wild this morning!!
Sexione I agree with you on the hands thing!! LMAO!

Peach404 You know that was just trifling!!!

By Dr. Kym aka Relationship Expert

April 13, 2007 9:51 AM | Link to this

Peach if you write it I will co-author with you….I have met mister I was in a car accident and I am afraid to drive can you pick me up?

Mister I am inbetween jobs can you float me 20 dollars for my half of dinner? The list are endless and the book would be come a set of encyclopedias.

By Sexione

April 13, 2007 9:53 AM | Link to this

Slim I know…I’m bad..hehehe

Peach he was soooo good looking That’s probably why he thought it would work. And I’m willing to bet there’s some ditzy woman out there who will and has fallen for that bull…..because he was soooo good looking. Cop dude was a cutie too….oh well. Which leads me to my blog question

Ladies, do you find that the cuter, more good looking guys seem to have more “requests” or need more “favors” or expect you to be more appeasing to them vs. the less physically attractive men?

By ImAPeach404

April 13, 2007 9:54 AM | Link to this

LDD Lmao!!! Wow, he couldn’t even come up with a better excuse than that???

It would’ve started off him asking you to rent cars then he would’ve been asking if he could stay with you. lol T-Mango Giiiiirl… I was telling him that I’d been looking at apts all day and he was asking me a gang of questions about the place, where it was, how big was it…He said he was needing to move himself, but girl… he was plottin’!!! Daaaang….

By abc

April 13, 2007 9:54 AM | Link to this

Having read the topic but none of the posts, I have a bit of a revelation: you all have nothing but problems with dating. Trust issues abound, lack of faith indeed. Given the attitudes typically expressed (including my own) it’s a wonder that anyone who participates here ever has a relationship they can call successful.

Give it up, I say. Lower your drawbridge and allow one into your fortress, ahem, multi-entendre not intended.

By cool breeze

April 13, 2007 9:57 AM | Link to this

AMEN abc! AMEN

By ImAPeach404

April 13, 2007 9:58 AM | Link to this

…I had to drop it down a notch and revert back to everyone is trustworthy until proven corrupt Raqi I wish I could have that outlook, I think it works the other way around for me.

Dear Diary, Today on the blog, GA.man and I actually agreed on something! Things are really starting to look up :)

By Raqi

April 13, 2007 10:02 AM | Link to this

abc No one wants to hear about the successes in dating and relationships. That’s why I try to post the humorous moments because no one wants to hear about it. You know those moments don’t suppose to really exist.

By Sexione

April 13, 2007 10:03 AM | Link to this

browneyed I think that one can become wiser with age…it happens quite often. Do all? Of course not. (eternal disclaimer: no statment that I make will ever be aimed at ALL people) Like you said, there are some old fools walking around, but on the flip side of that, there are some people that learn from mistakes, morph/grow into more mature and wiser people, the “lightbulb” comes on later in life, etc. I believe it happens.

By SeanJohnson

April 13, 2007 10:04 AM | Link to this

Sup Blog….TGIF..

cosigning MusingLee comment…men sense things and we investigate..and if we find something that just aint right..we may or may not act on it..reason being…not all the time we are dating women seeking a relationship..could be just a physical thing…and we dont have to invest a lot in something like that

@ 404Peaches…u did the right thing..how can a grown azz man not have access to a credit card to rent a car…and the fact he had to ask someone he JUST met and not a long time friend to do something like that shows what type of person he is…thats like a female i just met asking me for money…ask your family and friends first…not me

By ImAPeach404

April 13, 2007 10:04 AM | Link to this

Kym, there would be so many co-authors for this book, you’d have to get in line!

I’m headed to the gym yall - be easy :)

By GA.man

April 13, 2007 10:06 AM | Link to this

peach you a fooooll i say a str8 fooooool

By MusingLee

April 13, 2007 10:07 AM | Link to this

Sexi You are a fool…LOLOLOLOLOL

Small Hands = Small Wangedness

Guys now bust’in hands up with a hammer

Guy: Heyyyy Baby…Look at this swollen hand..HEHEHE…Imagine how big the wang will be swollen too!

Chick now bangs dude in the wang with a hammer

By Lady Dark w/Dimples

April 13, 2007 10:08 AM | Link to this

SeanJ…if you found yourself in a financial bind would you ask your girlfriend for financial assistance or would you ask your friends and family first?

I wouldn’t mind hearing from the other men on this either

By Sexione

April 13, 2007 10:09 AM | Link to this

abc the blog is called Misadventures in Atlanta….so that’s the majority of the content, otherwise it would be called something like Success in Atlanta or maybe Adventures in Atlanta…and they’re probably are more misadventures than anything else…lol

GAman nope, but I will be speeding when I leave……and just try to catch me…I’ve already disabled Musirellos big wheel muaahhahahaaa

By SlimOne

April 13, 2007 10:11 AM | Link to this

Mo Naw, I keep the banana nut up top. Here, have one of each. Bone Appetit!

ImAPeach404 that was me that said that about the moving in….he was asking me a gang of questions about the place, where it was, how big was it…He said he was needing to move himself I rest my case.

Sexi1 to answer your question, it does seem that way. I dealt with this guy that is older than me by 7 years and he had his own business or what not. Cutie pie, sexy, nicely built…the whole nine. I believe the second time i ever went to his actual place, he asked me to oil his scalp! I’m thinking WTH! That’s a job for a girlfriend, not someone you’re just dating. Another time he asked me if I would use my tweezers to pull some ingrown hairs out for him…LMAO!

By SeanJohnson

April 13, 2007 10:22 AM | Link to this

@ DarkDimples..i prolly wont ask a SO for it..too much pride..i pretty much been on my own since i was 20 and my moms taught me to always put away for rainy days..so even though i may say my gas tank is on E…i can drive about 20 more miles..lol..But on the real..the people that are close to me..i have helped and my credit is good with them…so if i hard times..my fam and real friends are a phone call away..As a man..thats your last resort..have some get up and go about yourself or a lil bit of hustle..pawn the flat screen..the xbox..the jewelry…something..dang..E bay is a fool.

By kinderbabe

April 13, 2007 10:26 AM | Link to this

hey qc, ladydark, mo, randy, sj, musing, slim, GAman, the whole crew hope y’all are having a great day!

By JustMe

April 13, 2007 10:27 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Wise, QC, Raqi, SlimOne, Sexione, GA Man, Musing, Kinder, cool breeze, abc, LDD, 404, newbies, Lurkers and Demi a.k.a. Birthday Boy!

On topic: Do you ever regret bailing on a potential relationship too soon? No regrets here. I trust my intuition without a doubt!

When you are dating someone new, does it take a lot for you to believe in them? No, I trust up front, and when things start to not add up, the trust is chipped away little by little until it reaches a point of not wanting to be involved with the guy.

How do you tell the difference between good old fashion caution and dating paranoia?

Caution is taking my time to get to know a guy and making sure I am actually interested in getting to know more about him. If I were to find myself doing drive bys or something of tht nature that would be paranoia.

By abc

April 13, 2007 10:30 AM | Link to this

Actually, I thought the blog title of ‘Misadventures in Atlanta’ pertained more to Mia’s mis-steps, in a ‘Sex in the City’ kind of way. Different these days. No biggie.

By JustMe

April 13, 2007 10:32 AM | Link to this

BrEyedBea You either have wisdom or you dont. It’s not something you acquire or obtain with age. If you make an error it’s not because you’re not wise- you just didn’t make a wise decision. I respectfully disagree. There are experiences that do not happen in your 20’s that may not happen until you are 40’s. Time does bring wisdom, as in the old saying **Experience is a good teacher

By kinderbabe

April 13, 2007 10:33 AM | Link to this

hey justme:) sounds like we have similar dating styles. how have you been?

By Raqi

April 13, 2007 10:35 AM | Link to this

Happy Birthday Demi.

By Raqi

April 13, 2007 10:37 AM | Link to this

Life is a teacher by experience; Speculation is the entertainment of fools.

By Lady Dark w/Dimples

April 13, 2007 10:40 AM | Link to this

@SeanJ…I’m glad to read that you feel that way. I had a male friend who kinda fell out with me because I felt that a dude should ask his family and friends for money before going to his girl (unless they were engaged)…I think he thought I turned into the she-devil for that statement! But I was thinking along the lines of you…I real man would have too much pride to go there…

This friend stays at home with his mom and he’s almost 40 yrs old…strange. He works full-time at a good company with a decent salary…hmmm, just weird!

By Tazzee

April 13, 2007 10:41 AM | Link to this

Morning folks!

What I regret is staying in a relationship trying to support my intuition with facts before walking away.

Its funny because the guys on here will be the first to say that the reason one of us got shafted by a buster is because we let him - or we were too stupid to see the signs - or we didn’t want to see the signs. But then turn around and say we shouldn’t shut down a guy too quick.

Derned if you do, derned if you don’t.

Wisdom may not be guaranteed with age, but experience definitely is. I’m going to assume Wise Diva based her decision on past experiences.

By JustMe

April 13, 2007 10:42 AM | Link to this

Sexione Ladies, do you find that the cuter, more good looking guys seem to have more “requests” or need more “favors” or expect you to be more appeasing to them vs. the less physically attractive men?

I think they easier they are on the eyes the more BS they think they can get away with. I think in part it is because they have more options/women to pick and choose between.

As far as dating a guy because he is eyecandy is concerned, I gave that up in my late 20’s. I’m no longer looking to procreate, so super-fine is not a requirement for JustMe. I do remember having a thing for a man with nice hands and feet though.

By JustMe

April 13, 2007 10:44 AM | Link to this

Hey Kinder I’m making do. I found out I will have to get some PT to get weened from this boot.

By browneyedbeauty

April 13, 2007 10:46 AM | Link to this

Sure experience is a good teacher if you have the wisdom to recognize the lesson being taught. But if you do not have wisdom you will keep making the mistakes over and over. Time brings experience not wisdom. IMO

By JustMe

April 13, 2007 10:51 AM | Link to this

When a guy I barely know is asking me for favors, and I ask about his family/friends doing the favor for him and I get a lame excuse. I tend to think that they won’t do the favor for him because he is a black sheep so to speak. Can ya say BIG AZZ RED FLAG!

No favor and I think I busy, can I call you back.

Experience has taught JustMe that when no one else wants to be bothered with this person, it usually for a good reason.

By Sexione

April 13, 2007 10:52 AM | Link to this

JustMe I feel ya. I won’t date a man only because he is eyecandy (cause we all know there are some cute crazies out there too) either, but physical attraction is a must for me. By the way, his hands were “nice”, just small!! hahaha

Tazzee Derned if you do, derned if you don’t So true, so true!!

By kinderbabe

April 13, 2007 10:55 AM | Link to this

justme wow pt, huh? well, how much longer will you have to wear the boot? does it feel like your foot is getting any better?

By JustMe

April 13, 2007 10:55 AM | Link to this

BrownEyedBeauty

God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things that I can not change, the COURAGE to change the things that I can and the WISDOM to know the difference

Good Luck…….

By SexyLeggs

April 13, 2007 10:55 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone. Happy B-day Demi.

By T-Mango

April 13, 2007 10:56 AM | Link to this

@Sexione…I think the answer to your blog question to the ladies is: it depends on the type of fine man he is…

There is ‘fine man’(#1-“Shamar”) who KNOWS that he is fine and uses it to get whatever he wants. Then, there is #2(“Charles”), the ‘fine man that knows he is attractive, but does not emphasize his level of attractiveness.

Shamar may ask for more (outrageous) favors because he probably has learned from past experience that he can find someone to do whatever he needs. Attracting women is not a problem for him. Besides, he’s fine and living in Atlanta. As I’ve heard some men say ‘there’s plenty of talent’ here. So, what one woman won’t do, the next one might…

Charles, on the other hand, may not request as many favors (if any) because he appears to be more self-reliant overall. You may be able to ‘work with’ that one (lol)

By JustMe

April 13, 2007 10:58 AM | Link to this

Sexione I swore off of fine men at one point in my life. I was tired of being cheated on, and figured that the finer the man was, the more likely he was to cheat. Well EXPERIENCE taught me that average men will cheat too, so out the window went that philosophy - LOL. But I did learn something……

By SeanJohnson

April 13, 2007 10:59 AM | Link to this

@ DarkDimples..a lot of times they dont ask fam and friends for the money becauase they hve already burned that bridge by not paying back previous debts..40 yrs old and living with moms is crazy…i cant even imagine…a female with business about her self wouldnt even mess with a momma’s boy like that….i wouldnt think..

By abc

April 13, 2007 11:01 AM | Link to this

Shoot, I wouldn’t take a loan from anyone, much less a date or SO. It’s something that was ingrained on me while growing up: no loans. It causes nothing but dissension.

By SexyLeggs

April 13, 2007 11:01 AM | Link to this

As most you have stated, with age comes wisdom. My tolerance level is doesn’t compare to yesteryear when I would put up with crap and patiently wait on a favorable outcome, much to no avail. Anyway, anybody who asks for a favor, money or assistance within the first 3-6 months will receive a resounding NO!!!!

By JustMe

April 13, 2007 11:01 AM | Link to this

Kinder I won’t know for sure until I start PT, but the weening part sounds GRRRRRREAT! in my Tony the Tiger voice. My dx was a severe ankle sprain with strained ligament and tendons and a ruptured capsule….. I start PT next week.

THe Doc’s gonna have to get this foot fixed right. If I have to start wearing flat/low heels, I might go into a state of depression. long sigh

By rose

April 13, 2007 11:03 AM | Link to this

It depends on if “believe in me really” means ” support me until I decide grow up” Ladies you know what I’m talking about…….

By browneyedbeauty

April 13, 2007 11:07 AM | Link to this

Too bad you had to EXPERIENCE something that you should have the wisdom to know.

By DeDe

April 13, 2007 11:09 AM | Link to this

Do you ever regret bailing on a potential relationship too soon? NO. But I do regret hanging on too long, trying to give the situation or guy the benefit of the doubt, waiting to see if something would develop. Maybe it’s those dating books that say dating is a numbers game, that you have to get out there. Maybe it’s fear of being perceived as shallow, judging someone by their appearance or by first impression. Recently I had an epiphany about this type of thing. After going on a few dates with a guy from church, I was sure there was no connection and wanted to avoid letting the situation go further. My concern was being unclear, leading him on, etc., but I was in my familiar place of discomfort and anxiety. I finally realized that I do this to myself: I accept a date with someone TO BE NICE or to give it a chance, when I sense at the outset there’s no connection. Then 3 or 4 dates later I’m frustrated and uncomfortable, wondering how to let him down easily. The take away: TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS! Call me crazy, but I actually jotted down a quick list of names, and in black and white the truth was there. Not once when I went out with someone I have reservations about has it ever worked out. When you know, you know. Going forward, I’m trying to respect my intuition and let go of guilt over letting a guy down by declining a date. We’re all adults here!

By JustMe

April 13, 2007 11:09 AM | Link to this

I feel you Rose.

By Lady Dark w/Dimples

April 13, 2007 11:09 AM | Link to this

Sexi I’m not sure about the pretty boy thing…I’ve seen it all. I’ve seen cats who look like something I flushed down the toilet get away with so much….I’m like what is really going on? And the women with them are looking like you better not be looking at my man….I’m like…oh, is that what that is?

By kinderbabe

April 13, 2007 11:11 AM | Link to this

justme you’ll be in your heels before you know it:) you have plenty of warm weather left to get your “diva” on…lol. i am wishing for a speedy recover.:) any big plans this weekend? i’m gonna check out the harlem bar tonite for the first time. i think it’ll be cool.

rose yes, unfortunately i do know what you mean…lol

By Sexione

April 13, 2007 11:15 AM | Link to this

LMSAO @ LDD and JustMe…gurl, I hope they get you fixed up nice and tight….no heels would kill me..lol

By JustMe

April 13, 2007 11:16 AM | Link to this

BEB That’s life. I have no regrets, and like my Granny told me….. You never know what a Monkey eats until he shyts You can not have wisdom into ALL things, but you can/SHOULD learn from the EXPERIENCE.

I plan to stop learning and experiencing when I die and not one second before.

There is a quote that goes something like this…… He who lives the same at 50 that he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life

By kinderbabe

April 13, 2007 11:19 AM | Link to this

browneyed think about this…even a little child touches a fire at least once to see if it’s hot. yes, they’re told it’s hot and may even see someone else get burned but human nature makes it necessary to find out on your own. does that child lack wisdom?? no, but they learned a lesson (gained wisdom) through experience. we are all equipped with innate qualities such as wisdom that life experiences help us to become more in tune with over time. for some it takes more time than others to “get it.” that doesn’t make them a bad person…that’s just their path.

By JustMe

April 13, 2007 11:19 AM | Link to this

Kinder The 4-6 weeks of PT has me thinking Mother’s Day weekend or beyond… I’ll still have time, but I hope that mt arches don’t fall too much before then.

By nymphnailer

April 13, 2007 11:21 AM | Link to this

“ladies” Get to know a guy before you take his shlong. No man wants a pig for a life partner.

By Jewel

April 13, 2007 11:22 AM | Link to this

Good morning and Happy Friday Everyone!

There are a lot of great comments, so I do not have much to add.

Did anyone go to the link Jen posted? The writer makes an interesting statement about being hopeful and realistic. I guess this is just another way of saying that you should give a person the benefit of the doubt. However, do not make excuses for questionable behavior. Follow your instinct. Balance your emotions (ladies) with logic. Do not visualize yourself walking down the aisle toward the new prospect right after he says “hello.” Live your life with no regrets. Enjoy the moment. Relax. Relate. Release. Let go, let flow. Slower is faster. Haste makes waste…okay. I am getting carried away here! LOL!

Happy Birthday Demi/Alvin, etc

Browneyedbeauty Sounds like you have experienced an old fool…Do not allow that bitter pill to skew your judgment. Nobody is born with wisdom. It comes with age and the intellect to apply what your life experiences have taught. Some even gain wisdom by watching the experiences of others.

Have a Powerful, Productive, Prosperous and Positive Day!!!

By JustMe

April 13, 2007 11:23 AM | Link to this

LOL Y’all they are talking about if a Mother should give her daughter away at her wedding on The View. I think Rosie has been reading this blog - LOL

By JustMe

April 13, 2007 11:24 AM | Link to this

Kinder My sister’s youngest son picked up her hot curlers by the barrel. She had told him repeatedly that they were hot, but he needed to see for himself. It only took 1 time to learn his lesson.

Time for a IB800 nap….. Y’all be almost good.

By Wise Diva

April 13, 2007 11:25 AM | Link to this

pardon my non-red

IF you would like to continue to post comments on this blog, you should abide by the user agreement and rules

This is your warning shot, we don’t want anyone to get banned. Comments are being monitored. Thanks.

Carry on

By C tha 1

April 13, 2007 11:27 AM | Link to this

I gotta agree with Browneyebeauty. Too bad you had to EXPERIENCE something that you should have the wisdom to know.

Yes EXPERIENCE teaches wisdom, but one’s quality of wisdom is only as good as the common sense that should be present.(How can you teach a child to read if they don’t know their ABC’s?)

Intution is cool, but sometimes women let their intuition overrided their common sense, and then have to enroll into Dr. Experience’s Course of Hard Knocks to teach them something they should already know.

By Jewel

April 13, 2007 11:31 AM | Link to this

I have to share an awesome statement I heard on The Steve Harvey Show this morning:

* Steven A. Smith: “Give a man what he *wants and you will be the one he needs.”**

By cool breeze

April 13, 2007 11:33 AM | Link to this

hmmm, I am one who did not have to touch the flame to experience anythuing cause I think I have wisdom. Wisdom to know that I don’t have to experience what others have and gone through what they have been through to gain wisdom. You have to be wise enough to see the mistakes those around you have made and see that those things they have done aren’t good. I have 4 older brothers and sisters and I am the youngest boy. I saw what my brothers did and the beatings my siblings got and I was like whoa! I don’t think i will be doing what you did bro/sis. I saw people that had kids out of wedlock and as teenagers and how that turned out and I thought to myself. Hey, I ain’t going down that road. I also heed advice from my dad and uncles and strangers about things trying to tell me stuff. Most things are choices that women make to do wrong and date the wrong type of guy. Alot of things can be avoided with a little wisdom whether you’re 16 or 26 or 66. You don’t have to have cancer to know it’s bad. There are a ton of educated black men with no kids, drama, and just regular dudes going to work everyday and trying to make it. Women pass these dudes by to date knuckleheads and then complain there aren’t any good men which isn’t true. It’s that every woman in atlanta is trying to date the same TYPE OF DUDE so it makes it seem like the numbers are skewed when they aren’t.

By Jewel

April 13, 2007 11:33 AM | Link to this

Ooooooh…who’s in trouble?

By kinderbabe

April 13, 2007 11:36 AM | Link to this

yeah jewel that’s what i was wondering…b/c worse and more crass things have been said before by “visitors” on the blog.

By browneyedbeauty

April 13, 2007 11:37 AM | Link to this

Jewel,not bitter at all and since you dont know me it’s unfair to make assumptions about me. Dont let the know it all pill give you false insight.

By For Real

April 13, 2007 11:38 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Blog Fam!!!

On topic:

A. How old she is

B. Does she have any kids

C. Does she have a job

Off Topic:

By kinderbabe

April 13, 2007 11:38 AM | Link to this

coolbreeze everyone does not learn the same way. that was your experience. people are different.

By SlimOne

April 13, 2007 11:39 AM | Link to this

@Lady D you better not be looking at my man….I’m like…oh, is that what that is? LMAO!

JustMe So are they saying in regards to the hot side topic from the other day about the wedding deal? That actually prompted me to email my dad the other day asking him what he thought. I asked him two questions:

His response: I would be proud to be a part!!!!!!! And very excited for you!!!!!

So i think he answered the question w/o answering the question. I’m confused???

By JustMe

April 13, 2007 11:42 AM | Link to this

C Tha 1/BEB It is impossible to have forsight into everything in life. Yes there are somethings that you don’t have to experience 1st hand to be wise about, but there are other situations that you just have to go through. It’s not a bad or negative thing, it’s just life. Can you predict everything that the people you know will do. I doubt it. If it were that easy then everyone in this world would either be predictable or a psychic. You can only estimate the probability of a person doing something stupid, but that’s a 50/50 bet at best.

By Jake

April 13, 2007 11:43 AM | Link to this

What up yall, been lurking, can’t really get the convoy today, not yet, but on Dark’s tight spot question.

Its a resounding no, borrowing money from the lady will ultimately comprimise your stature in her view. Here the sick part though, the same chick who wouldn’t want to let a hardworking SO borrow a hot $20 in a tough spot, will then find a dude she really gots to clothe, feed, and burp.

Its the power reverse, some ladies get a kind of delight in taking care of a loser.

Seen it with dees eyes!!

By Wise Diva

April 13, 2007 11:43 AM | Link to this

cool breeze, you have great points, however, you should know that the regular dudes going to work everyday aren’t getting the SAME TYPE OF WOMAN every guy supposedly wants either, so while we head for so called knucklheads, the guys head for the hot chicks who could be really shallow

it’s a vicious cycle no doubt!

By Sexione

April 13, 2007 11:45 AM | Link to this

Somebody’s in trooubbblleeee!!! lol

By Jewel

April 13, 2007 11:46 AM | Link to this

C Tha 1 Is it your place to say what another should already know?

Browneyedbeauty LOL! It’s a BEAUtiful day! LOL! Was that your response after the filters? LOL!

By Wise Diva

April 13, 2007 11:47 AM | Link to this

you guys probably didn’t catch it, (good!) don’t worry about it.

By SlimOne

April 13, 2007 11:48 AM | Link to this

cool breeze I beg to differ; Every woman in Atlanat isn’t trying to date the same dude nor pass them by to date knuckleheads. Just because you meet a brother that’s educated, no kids, unattached doesn’t automatically meant that you two will be a match made in heaven. Everything that glitters isn’t gold nor does it mean it’s the golden key to happiness or compatibility. I’ve met man guys that have jobs, degrees, live alone, no kids and we just didn’t have that chemistry to stay on the level of dating partners. Most of them turned out to be better friends. So yes, there are those type of good guys out there but finding the one that fits you is the hard part.

Slim falls off soap box and sprangs her ankle

By kinderbabe

April 13, 2007 11:49 AM | Link to this

slimone good afternoon.:) it doesn’t sound confusing (your dad’s response). sounds like, he’ll be happy for you regardless of the arrangement. isn’t that the response you want?

By JustMe

April 13, 2007 11:49 AM | Link to this

SlimOne Barbara Walters made a joke about it. She said I gave my daughter away, but she came back. They were going back and forth so fast and I was reading the blog, so I missed the other ladies responses.

I think you dad was saying that no matter what role he plays, he’d be honored to just be a part of the ceremony. To go back to a discussion a few days ago… again… LOL, he should have just said what he meant. See men do that stuff too.

I wonder if my Granny’s famous quote is the violation. I know I have seen much worse in the past by regulars and lurkers. JustSayin’

By Jewel

April 13, 2007 11:49 AM | Link to this

That Steven Smith quote should have been in bold:

“Give a man what he wants and you will be the one he *needs.”

Men of the blog: What are your thoughts on the above statement?

By Sexione

April 13, 2007 11:52 AM | Link to this

JustMe So what are they saying re: the topic. I’m sure Rosies views on this are non-traditional (even though in this regard I agree)….but heck, she thinks it’s ok for two women to…oh neva mind….lol

Slim I’ll say it again, do what you feel is right.

By browneyedbeauty

April 13, 2007 11:53 AM | Link to this

Jewel that is my original response. My posts dont ever need editing. I wouldn’t resort to name calling or typing curse words. I am a lady after all.

By DuShawn

April 13, 2007 11:54 AM | Link to this

Which is why age doesn’t mean anything when it comes to wisdom. I disagree. The more days you spend on earth, the more life experiences you have and the wiser you become. A child could be smart, but have no wisdom. Wisdom comes with age. You don’t find too many old fools.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

April 13, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this

For Real I am waiting for my daily dose of Mint Condition, you got a girl spoiled!! LOL

SlimOne hapy about your father’s response. Just rest on that for now and keep that email in case he decides to act up on your day!!

Where is Officer Musirello when you need him!! WD needs some help regulating the blog before we get shut down!! Why cant folks just act right?!!

By SlimOne

April 13, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this

JustMe i meant to say So what are they saying about the wedding deal on The View?

By Jake

April 13, 2007 11:57 AM | Link to this

Jewel

Its a valid statement, I won’t elaborate.

By cool breeze

April 13, 2007 11:59 AM | Link to this

I would agree with steven a’s statement. Guys tell women that but for some reason folk ain’t listening. What we want ain’t much.

By T-Mango

April 13, 2007 11:59 AM | Link to this

@Jewel…That’s a good question. I’ve got a ‘piggy back’…Generally speaking,what do men want and need from women?

By JustMe

April 13, 2007 12:03 PM | Link to this

Slim It was a very short conversation, they each made a comment or two and went to commercial.

Nap time for real now…….. it’s kicking in!

By DuShawn

April 13, 2007 12:04 PM | Link to this

Jewel There is some truth to that statement. However, a woman can give a man everything he wants, if he’s not feeling her on that level he will never need her.

By Jewel

April 13, 2007 12:06 PM | Link to this

Cool Breeze True. I guess that is when a woman only listens with her emotions…she interprets what he is saying through her feminine filter and gives him what she needs, rather than what he asks for? Hmmmm…

Oh, Jake Surely you have a few MLB violation points to spare…help us out! LOL!

By cool breeze

April 13, 2007 12:07 PM | Link to this

To answer the question a little better the #1 thing men want from a woman is RESPECT and everything SHOULD flow from there….Trust, support and love. If you love me then you trust me to make decisions that will be best for both of us.

By SlimOne

April 13, 2007 12:08 PM | Link to this

I took his answer as he’d be happy being ‘a part’ to mean being a part of the wedding. I’m sure he’d be happy either way but he didn’t answer how he’d feel not giving me away. Oh well, i’d be happy if he was for me.

Now on to another off-topic topic

Anyone My mom’s birthday was Wednesday and my pops said he was going to bring my mom and sister up here Sunday to celebrate. Anyone have suggestions on things we could do? I already know where we’re going for dinner but needed some activities. The weather shows rainy and cold so the outside ideas are shot. My sister suggested the aquarium but I just don’t think that’s going to be that fun especially since 4 people out of the group have already been. I thought about bowling. Help

By GA.man

April 13, 2007 12:10 PM | Link to this

LadyDD heck naw..i would go to family and friends..but if you got your game on then you should be putting something back everytime you get some money..then you are never in that bind…..i for one will not touch my saving for anything but an emergency….even if i wanted to go out with a fine lady and didnt have the money i would simple find something to do within my budget or we can watch tv or hit blockbuster…but never..never..never ask a woman for the money..my granddad would always say somewhere down the line she would remind you of it and it might not be nice

By Linguist

April 13, 2007 12:10 PM | Link to this

Hey Blog Fam! Happy Friday

Ummmm, (clearing throat), it “feels” a little hot in here today.. Was it “Sexi” or “JustMe” that said the other day that sometimes you get the feeling that there is a lot brewing under the surface with some of these posts ..?? Well, I kinda of get that sense today…

Oh well, Slim top o’ the mornin’ Chica!.. Can a girl get a non-fat vanilla latte … purty puhleaze ..?

By Chullato

April 13, 2007 12:10 PM | Link to this

Jewel I was looking hard for a rebutal, but I think he got it right. When it comes to relationships, men are that simple.

By Lady J

April 13, 2007 12:11 PM | Link to this

Now DuShawn that is the truth!!!! 12:04 post…Back to lurking…

By GA.man

April 13, 2007 12:12 PM | Link to this

“To the world you might be one person, But to one person you just might be the world”

think about it like this