By asnem

April 23, 2007 8:14 AM | Link to this

being smart isn’t always a good thing, because most people are so insecure and are playing so games, that even though people will tell you that they just can’t stand dumb people, the only thing they don’t like more than a dumb person, is a smart person.

By GA.man

April 23, 2007 8:20 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Slim,Justme,Raqi,LDD,Mocha,Mo,Sexione, Kinder Wasuup to all the guys be right back need coffee after all the games this weekend NBA action

By JustMe

April 23, 2007 8:26 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Wise and All

I’m taking Detroit and Denver in the Playoffs GO PISTONS…. GO NUGGETS

On Topic:

Party Guy I’ve not met many of these type of men. I attribute that to JustMe not being a bar fly.

Mystery Guy I’ve come across a few of these in my dating days. This type of guy is usually a skilled deciever and behaves this way more often than not because he is not really single. I met one guy who eventually told me My wife is married, I am not WTFE! Next!

Mr. Right Now has also come my way and offered up his game de jour. This type of man wants the best of JustMe less the commitment. I admit I have been slow at recognizing this type of guy, as he is also not the type of guy I date LT. Once I find out that he does not desire a monogomous relationship, it’s a wrap.

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 8:27 AM | Link to this

Happy Monday All Gaman,Musing,Demi,For Real,Mo, Mocha,JustMe,NC,kinder,abc,Jake,Ling…anyone i missed

I would say Mr. Party Guy and Mr. Right Now are one in the same. I have dated the Mystery Man and frankly I got tired of feeling like I was sitting at Agatha’s Mystery Theater all the time. As I’ve gotten older, the mystery bs gets played out faster and is more recognizable.

How can you tell when someone you are dating is ready for something meaningful? I will agree with your GD, on the fact that the guy will be more open and honest with you and should exhibit characteristics of a man looking to settle down and/or get serious.

Party Guy, Mystery Guy, & Mr Right Now are only the clear cut categories. The problems lie when these guys disguise themselves as “The ready to settle down guy or ‘cross dressers’ so to speak. I’ve dated a guy that totally came off as wanting something more than just a cutty buddy or fly by night deal. But time showed his true colors and it was just infuriating to find out what this guy was really about. Those are the ones that make it hard for folks that are really looking for something real.

By ImAPeach404

April 23, 2007 8:32 AM | Link to this

Party guy - Mystery Man - Mr. Right now… I believe this is one guy, not three.

Yes, I have dated all three of these guys, most times, its one guy with all three qualities. I never take these guys seriously - hmmm, wait, now that I think about it, I don’t take most guys seriously.

Can any of you share what signs you may have missed when you dated someone in the past? In retrospect, should you have known they were not ready to be serious with anyone? Personally, I have difficulty in determining the difference between “missing/ignoring the signs” and trying not to assume what type of person they are based on previous experiences. Theres a fine line between being stupid and not letting your past determin your prejudice on a new situation.

How can you tell when someone you are dating is ready for something meaningful? As a woman… you can’t tell. Dudes will look you dead in your eyeball and tell you a lie. For me, I never believe what they say, only what they do. When what they say and what they do run parallel, it’s easier to start that journey to He-Might-Be-Seriousville

By JustMe

April 23, 2007 8:38 AM | Link to this

Can any of you share what signs you may have missed when you dated someone in the past? In retrospect, should you have known they were not ready to be serious with anyone?

I think the most obvious sign I missed was repeatedly taking all his phone calls out of my presence. Everyone has a right to privacy, but when you need privacy for every call, that is a red flag.

How can you tell when someone you are dating is ready for something meaningful? If they can’t be taken seriously, do you wait on them or move on?

**Sometimes a guy will tell you up front what he’s really seeking in a relationship. i.e. friendship, dating, s3x etc. But other times guys will tell you what he thinks you want to hear. If they are straddling the dating fence, I will move on.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

April 23, 2007 9:12 AM | Link to this

Morning All!! GAMan, MochaTreat, Sexione, SlimOne, SJ, Jake, Randyt, JustMe, ImAPeach404, Kinderbabe, Lady J, Lady D and the rest of the crew!!

I will lurk on this one for right now, need to stop by the blog cafe for some coffee

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 9:14 AM | Link to this

Is the blog broken already?

By IslandGirl

April 23, 2007 9:16 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone, I’ve met the Party guy and the Mystery Guy.

Party Guy It doesn’t take much time to figure out the party guy is not ready for nothing more than a ole good time.

Mystery Guy can be a bit tricky, especially if he likes to play games. He may give you just enough attention to keep you interested. When it comes down to spending quality time and getting to know this individual ….that’s where it ends. You can get caught up with this type of individual hoping that he or she will eventually open up and let you in…..just another roller coaster ride.

Time to get some work done…

By abc

April 23, 2007 9:23 AM | Link to this

Once more, with feeling: you attract what you are. How about some chick stereotypes?

By Sexione

April 23, 2007 9:24 AM | Link to this

Morning Folks!!

I agree with alot of what has been said already!

It seems that the biggest issue is the “tell them what I think they want to hear” type of dude. We (as women) can tattoo our wants/needs/intentions on our foreheads for all the world to see. And still, the liars will lie and say they want the same thing, the cheaters will cheat and say they are not. Actions speak louder than words!! And when those actions don’t line up, then you have a clear picture. And yes, there is a thin line between seeing and acting on the obvious vs. letting your past prejudge the present……although your past experiences (good and bad) are what makes you wiser to the present situations.

Now, off to a meeting……be back soon..

By The Truth

April 23, 2007 9:27 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone. I hope you all had a great weekend.

Ladies, I think all men have all those guys in them. The question is which one do you get? Guys generally don’t go on a wife shopping spree like women do for husbands. We’re more like sharks, we swim around casually until we see something we like. Just because you may not be wifie material does not mean you aren’t a good candidate for SEX. Most men pursue sexual partners as aggressively as they do wifie’s when they finally meet them so I think thats where women get confused. Some guys may actully be looking for a longer term partner, until they meet you. (This statement seems harsher than it really is)

By T-Mango

April 23, 2007 9:28 AM | Link to this

Good morning.

Yes, I dated a divorcee recently that wanted a “serious relationship” and “marriage and children.” He told me that up front. Those were the same things I wanted in my life for the long-term. Besides,I liked him…so we went for it and entered a committed relationship. Yet, I began to notice that he was quite the “Mystery Man.” Never talked about himself or his life. He’d answer only what I asked him-never volunteered information. Since he was my man, I wanted him to learn as much about me as possible and openly shared things with him in an effort to strengthen our bond.

In retrospect, his behaviors could have been a way to protect himself from rejection or hurt and putting a wall up. However, my gut feeling is that he didn’t want to show me who he really was and expose some of his deep seeded issues. Instead, he sent his representative to the relationship “Mr. Perfect.” So, when I pushed one of his buttons and caught a glimpse of the other side of the Mystery Man, realized that I had to keep it moving.

Since I had a strong male role model in my life(dad), I learned that a man’s actions should be consistent with his words. If they are not…problem.

By MusingLee

April 23, 2007 9:28 AM | Link to this

Morn’in All,

What about the “I’m single, but my Ex is still hitting it” Woman?!?!?! LOLOLOLOLOL

Musing now returns to work/lurk mode

By NCgirlfromATL

April 23, 2007 9:28 AM | Link to this

Morning all!

After a relaxing weekend at the beach, it’s back to the grind…ugh! LOL!

I’ve met/dated Mystery Man and Mr. Right Now. Mystery Man is a bigger problem b/c we often equate mysterious with sexy. Until all of that cloak and dagger becomes annoying.

Woman Baby, I thought you said we were going to the beach this weekend.

Mystery Man Well, you never know.

Woman Well, if we aren’t going, I need you to let me know, b/c otherwise I’m going to make an appointment to get my hair done.

MM You never can tell about these things, can you?

Woman Is it possible to get a straight answer from you?

MM Do you think my answers are crooked?

Woman Do you want to have a crooked nose?

MM Hmmm…Who was it that said that a crooked nose is a sign of wisdom?

Woman hauls off and smacks Mystery Man in the nose with her size 8, platform sandal.

Woman Now, about that beach trip…

By JustMe

April 23, 2007 9:40 AM | Link to this

abc Once more, with feeling: you attract what you are. So not true in all cases. It’s a well known fact thaqt men seek women who they think they can control due to what a man may deem as lonliness or lack of self esteem. So that generalization is not accurate.

Truth Some guys may actully be looking for a longer term partner, until they meet you. (This statement seems harsher than it really is) I agree, and there is nothing wrong with being honest about this when you know the person is not meeting your LTR criteria. The problem is when men/women continue the relationship until someone better suited comes along. Then when Karma deals them the same hand, they feign ignorance as to why they have to suffer through the situation.

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 9:46 AM | Link to this

MusingLee Who hasn’t let the ex still hit it? You know men feel like once they’ve ‘heisted their leg’ (territorialized the p-dussy) that yall feel it should always be yours. One of my best guy friends told me that himself. He was like the guy can go out on a sex binge with 2000 women but the moment he finds out one of his ‘prize or main chicks’ has let another dog hit, then it’s like she’s forever tarnished. What’s up with that?

By abc

April 23, 2007 9:54 AM | Link to this

If that’s true, JustMe, then yall are fishing in the wrong pond.

By The Truth

April 23, 2007 10:10 AM | Link to this

*Slimone, you wouldn’t want it any other way. How would you feel if your man said “go ahead and sleep with other guys”? You’d know it was over because he didn’t care what you did. While its not fair, life never is, men can sleep with numerous women and go play golf afterward. Who wants a woman that can do that? Answer: A trick. While physically women can handle casual sex emotionally it breaks you down. Ex: A guy finishes and leaves and you wonder whats wrong with you. He’s on top of the world and your depressed. The next guy has to deal with all this and he hasn’t even decided what he wants to do with you yet. You lost as soon as you started playing that game.

For me there used to be 2 categories a woman fit into. Sex partner or mate. Now there’s a 3rd. I choose neither of the first 2 categories. Way to much going on emotionally. I’m not a therapist.

By Wise Diva

April 23, 2007 10:18 AM | Link to this

that’s exactly what I want to know, abc. I am really curious to hear/see if I fit any. I didn’t ask my GD for female types, because I don’t date chicks.

By northener

April 23, 2007 10:18 AM | Link to this

l

By jerseyboy

April 23, 2007 10:27 AM | Link to this

to JustMe’s point, a guy may not be looking for a log term partner, until they meet you. You’re either “The One” or you’re not. Those are the only two basic categories. This determines the type of path the relationship will be taking

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 10:28 AM | Link to this

The Truth Well i don’t know of any guy that would suggest a female go out and sleep around. Also, I wasn’t implying that the girl go out and sleep with multiple guys I meant even if the chick slept with one guy, it would be an issue for the man.

By Demi

April 23, 2007 10:32 AM | Link to this

scrolling in all late’n’ish…wearing black jeans, black puma sneaks, and a black shirt/w bright a bright red Thunder Cats symbol…Letmahearyasay:

Hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

good morning to all

The Truth is sounding more and more like our former blog brother, who was forcefully, remove from here…Sup Bruh!!!

By Wise Diva

April 23, 2007 10:33 AM | Link to this

jerseyboy, wow..that really is basic! SO women really have nothing to do but wait for the guy to decide this, right? No point in worrying about it, is there?

By MusingLee

April 23, 2007 10:33 AM | Link to this

Slim It’s not a matter of who has let the Ex, instead it’s who is STILL letting the ex hit…hahahahahaha…I find it funny when Women say they’ve been single for 4-5 months or more, but the Ex is still “splitting hairs”…LOLOLOLOL…Who’s really winning here…Not only did dude get rid of her crazy’azz but he is also enjoying the occational healing properties of the p-dussy when he strikes out for the night.

By jerseyboy

April 23, 2007 10:42 AM | Link to this

Wise Diva, yeah this is a little basic, but it’s not that deep a situation. Just like it’s been said that a women knows if she’ll sleep with you or not fairly soon after meeting you, we make determinations about you based on your characteristics too. The decision is made in a short amount of time. Communicating that to you is another matter……

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 10:50 AM | Link to this

Musing well we all know that old p-dussy is easier to get than new p-dussy. lol Its a more comfortable situation to let the ex hit because he already knows what you like/dislike, and what it takes to get you ‘there’ with no judgements. When you allow a new dude to get a taste of it, you and him both have to learn each other all over again. Plus when you tell him the only way you can ‘arrive’ is if he rubs vicks on your kneecaps you don’t have to face the humiliation of his judgement. LOL

By The Truth

April 23, 2007 10:55 AM | Link to this

Slim1 1 or 100, it doesn’t matter. If you were mine and slept with someone else then your his. I’ll even help you pack up. The worst part is we both know that if your sleeping with someone else your probably not sleeping with me. Thats a problem. A big problem. I say the best guage of where your relationship is sex. Its hard to open up sexually when you’ve got major issues going on.

It seems like alot of these topics deal with trying to make relationships work that probably shouldn’t work. Like jerseyboy is saying and I think it was jake* said friday, your either it or not. We all need to be better about determining that quicker.

Wise Diva there are really only 2 types of women. Those that want to be married and those that want to be married but act like they don’t (usually caused by some kind of heartache. Do you fit 1 of these categories? LOL

By SeanJohnson

April 23, 2007 10:57 AM | Link to this

Sup Blog…Musing hit that one on the head…single for 1 or 2 years..yet the ex is hitting it…

By Wise Diva

April 23, 2007 10:58 AM | Link to this

so, about that “another matter”, LOL. Do you think that men communicate this to women in clear ways?

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 11:05 AM | Link to this

The Truth We all need to be better about determining that quicker. You’re right. We tend to take so many things into account when trying to make that decision…history, feelings, that hope that things will be better, etc. It seems women hold on more so than men do. Women react more so at that particular time but men tell you it’s over but have a more delayed reaction it seems. They feel the emotional brunt of it later.

By SeanJohnson

April 23, 2007 11:08 AM | Link to this

@Slim….i am lost…Vick Vapor rub on your knee???….i am sorry but smelling like a grandma…will ruin the mood..

By **jerseyboy**

April 23, 2007 11:09 AM | Link to this

not always, but not because we want to be deceptive. at times it feels wrong to tell you you’re not the one because you have a sixth toe on you’re left foot…lol I think we try to spare your feelings,although it probably comes off all wrong.

By abc

April 23, 2007 11:11 AM | Link to this

Kinda sounds like people are so preoccupied with getting laid that anything beyond that isn’t even under much consideration. Again, you attract what you are. Women, you can’t expect a guy to man-up if that’s all your expectations are. Men, you can’t expect much more than gold-digging trivial chicks if all you want to do is hit it. Seems to me the term TAN has fallen from the lexicon but still is widely applicable.

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 11:12 AM | Link to this

SeanJ of course i was just being sarcastic…but hey, you never know what kind of sick sadistic things people need to get off. That person might have a fetish with senior citizens. I mean what makes a man want to put on diapers and crawl around on the floor like a baby and poop on himself? LOL

By Demi

April 23, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this

jerseyboy sup

Sometime I think it’s all about the timing….you can sleep with the young lady on the first and find yourself still married to her 10 years later…or luck of the draw…a good hand in spades does happens…just a little rare when it comes to relationship…be looking at a hand loaded with weak cards; no aces, kings or queens and your only spades is a 3 of spade…have your partner sitting over there quiet as a mouse

JustMe, we’re going board.

By Wise Diva

April 23, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this

oh I never act like I don’t want to be married, I just don’t know if it is something I will do. Having a husband would be great, but I am not solid on if I will marry. Just because I want to get married doesn’t mean it’s a good idea, LOL - for me, that is.

By GA.man

April 23, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this

Well..well …well now here is something funny for the ladies to think about…since us guys fit into these groups…what about the female that says she wants a good man …then the brotha comes along but he doesn’t fit into her “perfect” grouping or her girls(who are single) say “He ain’t right for you he is not your type” Well if looking for your type has failed you before..what happens when you find Mr. Perfect but he doesnt feel your his Ms. Perfect

By Dr. Kym aka Relationship Expert

April 23, 2007 11:16 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

All the world is a stage and all the men and women merely players, they have their exits and their entrances and each man in this life plays many parts.

I have met all three male types and there should be several others too numerous to mention. Wisey he mention that each man reaches a point where he settles down and is ready to get married. I would ask of him at what point? and What is his reason that some of these settled down men cheat? The latter has endless answers and I swear I have heard them all.

Cataloging people is pretty useless. people are complex..and no man can be hooked into one particular one. Just as no woman can be hooked into one category.

By Wise Diva

April 23, 2007 11:17 AM | Link to this

jerseyboy, I totally see what you are saying, men definitely don’t want to hurt our feelings, unfortunately, it happens anyway, but keeping the hurt feelings as minimal as possible is greatly appreciated!

By Demi

April 23, 2007 11:17 AM | Link to this

SeanJ I agree…

By MusingLee

April 23, 2007 11:18 AM | Link to this

Yeah….What abc said.

By abc

April 23, 2007 11:19 AM | Link to this

“When I married Ms. Right, I didn’t know her first name was ‘Always’.”

By jerseyboy

April 23, 2007 11:20 AM | Link to this

Demi - Yeah it is about timing, but also the first impressions we make.You could sleep together on the 1st date and end up married, but there has to be something to make you get to the next level. something that allowed you to still respect who she is.

By SeanJohnson

April 23, 2007 11:25 AM | Link to this

@ Slim ur right….but for you to even think of that..lol..makes me wonder of you are picking up old cats at adult assisted living spots…u are going to get worms..lmao

By Demi

April 23, 2007 11:25 AM | Link to this

Wise Diva Just keep it real, you just want to play the fields not just sexually and simply enjoy your single-ness.

By Wise Diva

April 23, 2007 11:31 AM | Link to this

people are complex,true, I also think some behaviors in men and women are similar, as you can see, many women have dated some of these guys. I really think he was saying that IF we meet someone with this behavior, you probably shouldn’t take them too seriously, IF you want a chance at a meaningful relationship; so recognize certain things and decide accordingly if the person is on the same page as you are.

By Sexione

April 23, 2007 11:33 AM | Link to this

Aren’t we all tired of “women are this” and “men are that”!!! It’s like any time the topic is about men, they get their man panties all in a knot and start bashing the women. Any time the topic is all about women, then the men get mad when the women post about men (hellz most of us only date men, so we can’t tell you of experiences about dating other women).

Kinda sounds like people are so preoccupied with getting laid that anything beyond that isn’t even under much consideration. Women, you can’t expect a guy to man-up if that’s all your expectations are. Men, you can’t expect much more than gold-digging trivial chicks if all you want to do is hit it. Well said!!!

Now I’m going to lunch!!! getting on my nerves with all of this bullish…..

By Wise Diva

April 23, 2007 11:33 AM | Link to this

I am going to be happy regardless Demi, having someone as a life partner would just enhance my life even more. I am enjoying single-ness but definitely I have moments when I want someone special too.

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 11:34 AM | Link to this

SeanJ hardy har har. :-) Nah, not hanging out at the assisted living joints because if there is a huge age gap between me and a guy i’m dating, I just keep thinking dirty old man, dirty old man in my head and Lawd knows I don’t want worms…UGGGHHHH!

By LISA

April 23, 2007 11:36 AM | Link to this

is somebody taking the dating blog too seriously? Sexione, you may need to step away for a few days, it’s not THAT serious, is it?

and if you are truly tired, why are you even reading and commenting every week?

By T-Mango

April 23, 2007 11:37 AM | Link to this

Well if looking for your type has failed you before..what happens when you find Mr. Perfect but he doesnt feel your his Ms. Perfect

@GA Man-No such thing as a perfect person. We’re all flawed. It’s just a matter of how flawed a person is. What matters is if you and that person are in sync and can rock with each other.

To your question: I don’t think this pairing will work. Some women could choose to put the time/enery in to try to prove that she is the one for him. However, what sense would that make if he has already determined that she’s not Ms. Perfect, not the one. Waste of time in my opinion.

As far as “the girlz”…I think there have to be boundaries here. Some women really have your back and want what is best for you. Others get into your ear because misery loves company. Bottom line is your life, your decision. If he is wrong for you then find it out for yourself. Don’t let your girlz steer your decision one way or another or inflict doubt. See for yourself. AND sometimes you just have to keep sisters of our your business period and keep on steppin’-

By Demi

April 23, 2007 11:39 AM | Link to this

but keeping the hurt feelings as minimal as possible is greatly appreciated!

By being honest…women are not weak as men seem to think…go and watch a few natural child births

something that allowed you to still respect who she is.

That’s a measure of how much I respect myself and my own maturity on my part, not hers…I’ll marry a former stripper in a heartbeat if she’s right for me.

By amy

April 23, 2007 11:39 AM | Link to this

what about the “fake church guy?”You know the guy who goes to New Birth,World changes,Mega fest,bible study,etc. Pretending to be so religious,but really are players & womanizers preying on the ladies at church! This includes the pastors,asst. pastors,and decons.

By Atl Lady

April 23, 2007 11:40 AM | Link to this

The Truth I love it that you bring the truth to the relationship challenged. I have dated and observed ALL of the men on this list. I know two that are actually roommates. One is Mr. Right Now and the other one is the Mystery Guy. It makes for an interesting mix when they hang out togther. I think it depends on what stage they are in their life as well. I remember that a guy once told me that most men are ready to settle down after the 28 year mark. They’ve used their teens and early twenties to sow their wild oates and figure out what type of woman they want and what they want to do in their careers. Sounded like the truth to me, but we all know that love and happiness can be fickle creatures.

By The Truth

April 23, 2007 11:40 AM | Link to this

ABC what does TAN mean? Sorry man but I’m slow.

Dr. Kim, having been married to a wonderful woman and having cheated (actually I never stopped) I will say it has nothing to do with you. It is an individual decision to follow your desires. I never wanted to hurt my wife but I never wanted to be monogamous either. I love to win, to conquer. Most guys on here know the feeling of having some woman on all fours there for the slaying. Its an addiction like crack. I never outgrew that addiction but my fear helped me overcome my addiction. I’m getting to the point where I’m scared of sex. The diseases are outrageous (they have a super strain of gonorhea now) and my luck isn’t good enough to test the market. A buddy of mine said he had 2 women “inform” him of their diseases right before the act ( HPV and herpes). Luckily they told him 1st. I guess you would call me a conditional monogamist.

Demi are you the blog police handing out citations? I’m not afraid of getting kicked out of here. I just didn’t know my responses had to be approved by you, bruh.

By melo

April 23, 2007 11:40 AM | Link to this

I am not he mystery guy nor the party guy. I am the straight shooter.All i am looking for is friendship with benefits!Just a mature 2-way.

By Got that?

April 23, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this

oh I never act like I don’t want to be married, I just don’t know if it is something I will do. Having a husband would be great, but I am not solid on if I will marry. Just because I want to get married doesn’t mean it’s a good idea, LOL - for me, that is.

You couldn’t have stated the problem more clearly. If you don’t know what you want, you don’t know that you are attracting just that. Men who don’t know what they want. When you are clear and honest with yourself first, that will be clear to everyone else. The onus is on you to know yourself and be clear about what it is you want. Otherwise, you’ll get things that don’t make sense to you until you understand that you’re being the same way they are. It’s always easier to see what’s not working for someone else, but we don’t see how that same thing applies equally to ourselves. We’re blinded by our own bs.

By Officer Musirello

April 23, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this

amy you have been placed under blog witness protection program…Cause you about to start some isshh up in here.

Musing hands amy a bullet proof bra and panty set with matching handbag.

By Sexione

April 23, 2007 11:47 AM | Link to this

LISA because that is my choice…..and when it’s not ridiculous, we have very insightful comments that help to close the great divide. And why are you concerned about my opinion????

Good point amy!!!

By For Real

April 23, 2007 11:53 AM | Link to this

What up Blog Fam!!!!

Wise I’m sorry but your boy likes to hear himself talk. He gets an audience from women b/c he has convinced yall that he giving you some inside information. Wrong…. Like Truth said men pick a direction and go. We never walk out the door thinking if we will find Miss Right or a SO. Men treat dating like the man on the beach with the metal detector. You set it for the metal that you want and start walking.

Musing Can you help me out with this?????

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

April 23, 2007 11:53 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All:

I have a question. Is it okay to play the field while looking for LTR? I mean, if you are looking for LTR and you realize that the person that you are with currently isn’t for you, then why do you keep that person hanging on until the real LTR decides to show up? I know this sounds funny, but really now, are we that desperate to have sex/mate in our lives that we just can’t be single between partners? Why string the other person along at all? Just let them know that they are not what you are looking for. Am I right or wrong?

By MusingLee

April 23, 2007 11:54 AM | Link to this

Ohhhhhhhh LISA are you gonna take that from Sexi…I also heard Sexi say that you have a wooden foot and walk like this ↑↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↑↓

By melo

April 23, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this

The blog is hot today, and i’m busy.Dang!!!

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this

Uh-oh, looks like it’s about to get a little heated in here already. Guess I’ll get started early on something to lighten the mood

Suggested Auto-Replies for being out-of-the-office

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 11:59 AM | Link to this

Musing LOL, why you instigating? Men always sit around waiting for chicks to fight hoping that they get a flash of a boob, a camel toe, or something. LOL!

By Lady Dark w/Dimples

April 23, 2007 12:00 PM | Link to this

Good Afternoon Everyone!!

Don’t go see Grindhouse!

I dated Mr. Party guy and it was complete drama. We would break up, get back together…only to break up again. He said that when he looked at me he saw me in a white dress, but he wasn’t ready for marriage. He wanted to mob the streets. We’re still really good friends today (prolly because he moved at the end of our relationship) but dating Mr. Party is an emotional nightmare.

amy will call that guy Mr. False Prophet

By Dr. Kym aka Relationship Expert

April 23, 2007 12:00 PM | Link to this

Truth So does that mean you were never really ready to settle down?

By MusingLee

April 23, 2007 12:02 PM | Link to this

Dude enters a bar with a new device strapped to his arm…walks right up to chick

Chick: Heyyyy what’s this on your arm it looks cool.

Dude: Oh, this is my “Woman Detector”.

Chick: How does it work?

Dude: Well you set the knob for the kind of chick you want and it beeps when you find her.

Chick: Is it beeping now?!?!

Dude: Yep, sure is baby.

Chick: So what kind of Woman would I be then.

Dude: Well it’s set for “O’Patrol”.

Dude is beaten over the head with Patron bottle

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 12:03 PM | Link to this

cont’d

By abc

April 23, 2007 12:03 PM | Link to this

re: okay to play the field while looking for LTR, or marriage (esp. the latter): consider that while you play the field (in light of today’s emphasis on sex — but how is that different from any other day?), that what you’re doing is screwing a bunch of other women’s future husbands. Same for your future husband — all those other chicks are screwing your future husband. Ah, no matter, you might say? Perhaps so. Personally, the only sexual history that concerns me is the one personally between me and my girl, our prior histories concern me somewhere between not much and not at all. Just the same, the point holds true.

By NCgirlfromATL

April 23, 2007 12:04 PM | Link to this

InstigatorMusingLee sits back on the bleachers with a bucket of popcorn, an icy cold beer and a camera at the ready to catch the girl-fight about to jump off…

now where is RumbleAnnouncerGaMan?

LOL!

Chillax folks, it’s Monday. We’ve got alllll week to get riled up!

blog hugs!

By T-Mango

April 23, 2007 12:04 PM | Link to this

@Amy I won’t call out anyone’s church home, but you’re right “Mr./Ms. Bible Thumper” ia another group worthy of mention. Does not matter if they attend a megachurch or the “Mount Moriah Blessed Art Thou Shekinah Glory Tabernacle of Hold My Mule”… quote scripture, testify and then try to lay hands on you. My lawd-

By Demi

April 23, 2007 12:08 PM | Link to this

The Truth, the brother I am speaking of was a well respected cat on here. I really enjoy his posting and so did others. Well you are the second coming…The blog police is Officer Musirello, who remove all my capes and tights I use to fly around this blog last year…due to lack of super hero license he said.

Wise that good to hear…no more trick questions, you know were you stand, LOL

Atl Lady how are you I did not get the feeling until I hit 27…Now at age 28, I am willing to wait before hitting…My 1 and 1/2 date’em then hit’em days are over for the most part.

now singing: It’s the end of the world as we know it….

By MusingLee

April 23, 2007 12:10 PM | Link to this

Slim I’ll take 3 boobs and a side of camel toe please.

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 12:10 PM | Link to this

Lady D Mr. False Prophet That’s a good name. LOL

T-Mango you’re hilarious.

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

April 23, 2007 12:12 PM | Link to this

@ABC So you are trying to say that until you make it official verbally then you don’t care that while she is quote-unquote “dating” you she is free to get at as many men as she wants to? You don’t care that she may be dating you and another guy at the same time trying to see which one she may hang onto? Ok, cool.

By The Truth

April 23, 2007 12:16 PM | Link to this

Dr I wouldn’t necessarily say I wasn’t ready but I had no idea what it meant (I was in my 20’s). I really did love my ex but it wasn’t enough to stop me. The sad part is she really was a great wife. She took great care of me. We talked about it years later and she understood what I was going through. She has remarried and now she wants to get out there and experience life.

How many women out there have cheated on a mate?

Hold on, let me get my popcarn ready. lol

By Wise Diva

April 23, 2007 12:18 PM | Link to this

don’t most men love to hear themselves talk? LOL. Just kidding, For Real. You could be right, it’s just dialogue though, no harm in discussing it, is there?

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 12:20 PM | Link to this

Musing well we only offer boobs in pairs of two. I am not able to split up the pack. You can however, order to pairs and scalp off the 4th boob. But beware that it’s illegal to scalp boobs within 30 feet of the boobshop. Also, we offer camel toes in 3 different sizes:

For our third size camel toe, I would suggest first being measured by one of our trained professionals to see if you qualify for that type.

By abc

April 23, 2007 12:21 PM | Link to this

Mochalatte, not exactly.

If I was dating a chick and she has several other people she dates, and is still open to finding more prospects, I’m going to assume she’s a slut. OK, harlot, that sounds a bit less antagonistic. I’m not after any harlots, I’ll be out of there.

If there was another competitor, and neither arena had become sexual for her yet, and she was one I had a fierce interest in, sure, I’d compete. For awhile, at least. If she was sexually active with someone else, I’d bail, period.

By Biff

April 23, 2007 12:22 PM | Link to this

The guy you talked to was giving you a line, its all B.S.

Guys just want hot women unless they are a metrosexual type guy.

By The Truth

April 23, 2007 12:23 PM | Link to this

Demi I apologize for jumpin the gun. I didn’t get my 8 hrs last night and I’m a little testy. LOL Sorry

ABC what is tan?

By Wise Diva

April 23, 2007 12:27 PM | Link to this

Biff, squash the offensive terms, please.

By GA.man

April 23, 2007 12:31 PM | Link to this

In this corner….telling folks like the isssshhhh really is…….Sexione with a record of 27-1-2

In this corner…..Lisa I just started some ishhhhh with a record of 10-1-1

Let’sssss get readyyyyy to rumblllllleeeeeeeeee

I want a clean fight and dont forget to tear some shirts

By Dr. Kym aka Relationship Expert

April 23, 2007 12:32 PM | Link to this

Truth I was just asking because I dated married men at one time so I heard all kinds of stories and cover ups. But you are right it is important to know yourself before you can begin to know anyone.

Wisey we talked at one time about committment phobia..I believe-in my case anyway- why some women dont desire to get married. Runaway bride syndrome maybe..speaking of which where is handy dandy Randy?

By Lady Dark w/Dimples

April 23, 2007 12:36 PM | Link to this

abc how would you know if she was sexually active with the others?

truth I cheated on a boyfriend in college…only once in the eight years we were together….and that was just kissing and making out…but still cheating!

He forgave me…we moved on from that incident!

By snazzyone

April 23, 2007 12:37 PM | Link to this

So listen listen to the guy if his actions are different from his words and its not what you want walk away. learn from your mistakes in the past with relationships, get to know yourself, love yourself and your own company and it will all be aiighttt….If it walks like a duck, you will get F&*^%$. If it barks like a dog its prolly a dog…

By snazzyone

April 23, 2007 12:39 PM | Link to this

When I am dating I date, i don’t sleep around unless I am in a relationship or one on one with a man. Dating multiple people until I and the other person I would like to get serious wih decide we want to be exclusive, otherwise we both can date multiple people and its okay with me, Dating does not equate to sex with everyone….

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

April 23, 2007 12:44 PM | Link to this

ABC Ok, so I understand where you are coming from, but another question if you don’t mind? Would you give her the same courtesy if the shoe was on the other foot? Would you hit both prospects and expect her to understand or would you weigh your options to let her battle royale her way into your heart without taking it to a sexual level with either prospect? I just like to get an accurate picture. Because I want to know why it is acceptable for a man to do one thing but if a woman was to do this same thing she is a labeled as a “slut” or less antagonistic word “Harlot”.

And please don’t believe that I am picking on you. You were just brave enough to answer the question.

By QueenB

April 23, 2007 1:01 PM | Link to this

Dr. Kym,

Are u married?

By The Truth

April 23, 2007 1:02 PM | Link to this

Mocha I would like to step in here for a sec, then abc can finish. I think men feel if a woman lets everyone have her she’s not special, to herself. Women tell themselves they can go out and play and then when they meet mr right they’ll change. We know better. If you had fun while you were out there as soon as it gets rough with mr right your going back to where it was fun. It simple. You simply have to decide if you want to be someones wife or a good lay. Then act accordingly. And no its not fair. Accept it and move forward. Every guy on this blog has met a woman that has been run through and left to clean up. She may be an otherwise great woman but she didn’t respect herself. Its like saying he’s a nice guy except for the mass murder thing.

LDD you go over my knee. Between 2 cheaters, isn’t it a thrill? LMAO

Dr I may have run Randy off last week. I apologize.

By Island Girl

April 23, 2007 1:05 PM | Link to this

SlimOne..you’re off the chain today.

I’m catching up on the reading…you guys are being bad…ABC, Truth….

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

April 23, 2007 1:05 PM | Link to this

@ LDD I’m assuming that he believes that she would tell him.

@ ABC No, I don’t actually sleep with more than one person at a time, I believe in sleeping with one person and that is the person I’m dating. I don’t date more than one person at a time, causes for too much confusion.

@ snazzyone You just go! That’s the right idea to have regarding sleeping with your mate or partner and only them. I can dig that.

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

April 23, 2007 1:11 PM | Link to this

@ The Truth Double standards shouldn’t exist. I’m only asking the question to see how people tend to answer. I think it’s a shame when the double standard takes place. You want me to accept you as you are, but for the same doesn’t apply to me. It’s okay for a man to sleep around while he’s looking for LTR, but for a woman you are less than worthy. I think that’s something I will never ever be able to understand and for people who think that way, we let’s just say there is a special place in my heart and mind that you reside…

But of course since you are not speaking for the entire blog fam, I’ll still be waiting for other comments and posts until it’s time for me to dip!

By Sexione

April 23, 2007 1:18 PM | Link to this

Okay, back from lunch, trying to catch up (I think)…

Slim lololol

Musing don’t make me send OfficerMusirello to lock you up!! lol

By jerseyboy

April 23, 2007 1:21 PM | Link to this

Mocha the double standard exists, but that’s not our fault. That’s just the way it is. No man wants a woman on his arm who he knows has been run through. It’s embarrassing to think 100 dudes passed her around and you wifed her.It just doesn’t seem that women historically have had that mental block.

By Island Girl

April 23, 2007 1:22 PM | Link to this

@ABC, If a lady is dating multiple people but no sex is involved…do you still consider her a “slut” or “harlot”?

By Dr. Kym aka Relationship Expert

April 23, 2007 1:23 PM | Link to this

If you had fun while you were out there as soon as it gets rough with mr right your going back to where it was fun. It simple. You simply have to decide if you want to be someones wife or a good lay. Change this statement some and it applies to men too.

MLB say what you want but sex leaves a trail even behind you. You may say oh no she was just notch number one of 200 on your belt but you remember those notches maybe not right after or even a year after or two.

But you will remember that notch when you look into the eyes of your daughter or niece or sister as she relays to you the tale of some guy who treated her badly. I think a few guys here have daughters and they all say…not my baby girl.. I am going to train my daughter to look out for guys like me. Which means 9/10 she will bring home a guy just like you. An when you go to raise the warning flag she will ignore you because you are just so out of touch.

By Got that?

April 23, 2007 1:24 PM | Link to this

Mocha, there’s no double-standard actually. It’s just that women chase after the dogs. That’s the term for men who sleep with anything and everything that moves or breathes. There are men like that, because there are women willingly giving it up to them. Just like there are women who aren’t polyamorous, there are a lot of men who don’t sleep with every women who offers it to them. Don’t fall in the trap of over-generalization.

By MochaTreat07

April 23, 2007 1:25 PM | Link to this

Good afternoon Slim, GAman, Sexione, Foots, Justme, Kinder, Musing, Demi, NC, MO, QC, Raqi, Randy, Jake, Wise, Dr. Kym SeanJ and crew

How is everyone doing today?

I have dated all three of the guys mentioned above (party, mystery and mr right now).

By Dr. Kym aka Relationship Expert

April 23, 2007 1:26 PM | Link to this

Queen B no I am not married but I have had the offer once or twice.

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 1:27 PM | Link to this

* Mochalatte* I agree the whole double standard thing infuriates me at times. It’s like because a person has a penis, that he can do what he wants and not be held to the same guidelines and/or name calling as if a person with a female body part would. Next thing is dating multiple folks does not mean being intimately involved with all of them. I mean really folks….So if my list of male friends outweigh the list of female friends does that red flad me as a harlot also, even when we’re just friends?

By MochaTreat07

April 23, 2007 1:27 PM | Link to this

GAman need a new name…do you have any suggestions….I leave for a little while and my identity has been stolen!!

By For Real

April 23, 2007 1:29 PM | Link to this

For Real with camera phone in hand Did somebody say boobies???

Ok blog ladies stop all this lying about I don’t sleep around except with the one I am dating ish. Somebody is having sex with Demi, Jake, GA.man, Musing (well maybe not Musing “Scrabble” Lee), SJ, *abcand Truth

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

April 23, 2007 1:30 PM | Link to this

Thanks @ Everyone that commented today. Based on the topic and the way the conversation was turning I just had to ask the question. I’ll be in Lurkesville later, but for now… I’m out.

By DuShawn

April 23, 2007 1:32 PM | Link to this

*”If I was dating a chick and she has several other people she dates….. I’m going to assume she’s a slut. I disagree, if you don’t have an agreement to date one another exclusively, a female can date as many people as she wants. That doesn’t make her a slut. Furthermore, I don’t think it shows a lack of self respect if a woman chooses to be sexually active with multiple partners. If I’m just dating a female and it evolves into sex, I’m still under the assumption that she is seeing other people until told other wise. Consequently, I won’t pop up around her crib unannounced nor would I get bent out of shape if I wanted to go out with her and she had a prior commitment. I would expect that same respect.

By For Real

April 23, 2007 1:33 PM | Link to this

Dr.Kym That is just plain wrong of you. Why you got to go there???? Awwwww Dayum not my baby gurl* Oh that’s right I don’t have a daughter WHEW…

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 1:35 PM | Link to this

For Real heyyy buddy. Well…there was this one time in band camp…LOL!

By Demi

April 23, 2007 1:35 PM | Link to this

The Truth no problem bruh, as for RandyT, it’s the end of the school year madness for him…so he’s out partying

By MusingLee

April 23, 2007 1:38 PM | Link to this

For Real…LOLOLOLOL…Man Imma get you….hahahahahahaha

MochaTreat and Mocha w/extra CreamCheese…how about you two fight it out…The first Woman to expose the boobs of the other wins the name MochaBoob1 the loser gets Mochaboob2……Lets Get It On!

Musing now whips out camera phone, broadcasting live to Youtube.

By Sexione

April 23, 2007 1:38 PM | Link to this

ForReal So you think that all women are sleeping (sexing) some man? Just need clarification…

As for the double standard, who cares?!!!!! If it some dudes twisted mind he thinks that he can do and it’s alright, and if a woman does then she’s a &%$, then that’s his problem, and rest assured ladies, he isn’t the one for you!! As far as what *society thinks, again, who cares?!!!!

Kym guurrlll, where can I sign your 1:23 with my platinum pen?!!!

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 1:38 PM | Link to this

Dr Kym you do have a point there. I know this guy that was a self-proclaimed slut sleeze bucket. Now he has 5 daughters…not one son. Talking about God having a sense of humor. lol

By Randyt (aka "Been there, Done that, got a closet FULL of t-shirts)

April 23, 2007 1:40 PM | Link to this

Hi Kym and All

I took Friday off and catching up at work today. Had an awesome weekend and sort of lurking today while I recover.

By MusingLee

April 23, 2007 1:43 PM | Link to this

Taking Slim’s platinum pen and football kicking it down the hallway

By JustMe

April 23, 2007 1:45 PM | Link to this

abc /MochaLatte w/Extra Cream I had to read all the way to the end to see how abc responded. ^5 abc I agree with your view; as a woman, only 1 guy getting the cookies at a time.

I’ve not met many guys who are willing to admit that they are dating other women. What’s up with that? Personally I think that men don’t want women to know that they are easy lays, so the deny the existence of any other women in their life. they think the it’s been so long line will get them there faster. Such is not the case with many women.

Someone commented that women/men know shortly after meeting of they want to sleep with the other person. That used to hold true, but today with so many STD’s in the game, I don’t come to that decision based on physical attraction alone. If I can not be stimulated mentally and emotionally, then physical stimulation is not an option.

By Linguist

April 23, 2007 1:45 PM | Link to this

Hey Blog Fam I’ll be lurking for most of the day… I got a side gig going on… It’s selling T-shirts (a la RandyT)… I sold one last week to SJ, and now I see Truth needs one too… so what size you need honey?? sma-med, large or Xtra large to go with those generalizations you’ve been trying to spoon feed us (women)…. ??????????

Next up in the ring after Sexione and Lisa…. is Ling.. getting ready to put Truth in a sleeper hold!

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 1:47 PM | Link to this

SlimOne now entering announcer’s box turning on the device that enables all use of cell phones, cameras, camcorders during the fight. For Real and Musing now looking disappointed and confused by the black screen on their cellulars.

By Demi

April 23, 2007 1:50 PM | Link to this

You know…I am tired of folks stealing my blog platinum pen.

now kicking Musing’s busted civic for kicking my platinum pen

By Sexione

April 23, 2007 1:51 PM | Link to this

Musing that’s my pen, now give it back!!! And stop trying to see our boobies…..just a horny lil toad!!* lol

And remember men, it doesn’t have to be your daughter…..it could be your sister, niece, future step-daughter, etc…….we as adults should be trying to lead by example…for our young men and women.

By For Real

April 23, 2007 1:52 PM | Link to this

Slim Allow me to finish that statement for you One time at band camp I stuck a flute ……

Musing Just funnin with bruh

Sexione If a women is dating she is sleeping (sexing) with someone (including herself)..

By QueDogTeaching

April 23, 2007 1:54 PM | Link to this

What up blog Said while speed blogging.

First of all in my circles a woman is just Cut until she proves herself worthy to be more. Kind of like guilty until proven innocent. Cuda until proven Wifey.

Next I have a blog question

We all can say what we believe to be the quote-unquote perfect mate. But my question is “What will we accept in a mate” I don’t mean settling, but what is.

Ex. Perfect could be College educated, no kids, very business oriented, family oriented, fun to be around.

Acceptable could be works hard, has one or two kids at most, is not a comic but will listen to you talk. Get the Idea

By GA.man

April 23, 2007 1:54 PM | Link to this

Now taking Sexione’s Pen and putting it in my coat pocket lolololol

By The Truth

April 23, 2007 1:57 PM | Link to this

Dushaun are you saying you’d married a woman who wore out the track? I didn’t think so. i’m not saying that women cannot have experiences because thats what life is about. I’m talking about the chick thats been run up in more times than the local seven eleven and then she wants to sit on your arm. As jersy said, its embarassing. Some of these chicks are gluttons for punishment, they go from one guy to the next, quickly. They just want to find a guy to dump all that guilt on. Like I said, i’m not a therapist. Its no different than a guy who has a bunch of kids by different women. ( I take that back because theres some lonelly chick that’ll take them, on second thought, ladies sleep with whoever you want because there’s always some guy who’ll go home with the star of the orgy)

OK, I went off topic but let me summarize: Act like the part you want to play. If you want to be someone’s wife start acting like it. If you want to be someones husband likewise. If you want to be someones bucket you know what to do.

(((((ABC)))) What is a tan?

By JustMe

April 23, 2007 1:57 PM | Link to this

Slimone Who was the guy blogging about accountability in women? Men rarely have any regarding their sexualy prowness. 2X standards do exsist, but when you don’t play the game, it’s neither here nor there.

Got That? ^^^^^

For Real Don’t be so vague.

DuShawn I’m still under the assumption that she is seeing other people until told other wise. Ditto, same here. Until he says and shows it!

By "Longtime Lurker"

April 23, 2007 1:58 PM | Link to this

Good Afternoon folks!

Wise Lurker This “GD” dude is highly suspect to me! Sound more like a “GDI” (God Dayum Individual)looking for an opportunity,if you ask me!

Although he is tellin you what you already know, I question why he given you all this “free advice”

I keep noticing that you keep driving around 285 to get to 20, when you can just hit 20 and be out!

My point is that you already know what ole boy is tellin you!

Most women already know what ole boy is tellin you, the problem is that y’all don’t listen when the man speaks!

You charge what we say off as Rhetoric Men tell you through they actions all the time what is going on with them and some times he will even tell you point blank, that all he want is the “goods” with no lations and y’all just roll with the program and when it does not work in yo favor, you get all p** off and want to call the dude out!

Dating is a contact sport and some times you win and some times you loose! A big part of dating is observation, asking questions and being a good detective!

If you you stick to the script and listen to your gut and not your heart, most times you will come out ahead!

By abc

April 23, 2007 1:59 PM | Link to this

TAN is an acronym for triflin’ azz and so on.

I’d know if she was sexually active with others by asking her. I’d not become sexually active with anyone without asking that. If the answers yes, I’m out. If no, that still doesn’t mean I’d jump straight in. If she’s lying, the lie will come to light. Don’t associate with liars.

If she’s dating several at once, well, WTH is that about, no ideas about pursuing the LT possibilities, just out with however many will respond? That’s not my thing. It’s true, I don’t respect that.

I second what The Truth and especially Got That said. Yeah, I’ve dated chicks for awhile and never became sexually active with them. To colloquilize, I ain’t puttin’ it in just anybody. I’m not a dog. I’m picky, and if I don’t think there’s a real possibility for the very long term, I’m not likely to want it.

By For Real

April 23, 2007 2:01 PM | Link to this

Slim I told you I am a professional picture taker.

For Real pulls out his vintage 1972 Kodak camera while manually adjusting the len and placing the indoor flash on top of the camera to secure the picture of Slim wear her white tennis skirt up in the announcer box. For Real thinks to himself (I wonder if Slim knows she has an hole in her stilettos)…

By Sexione

April 23, 2007 2:02 PM | Link to this

ForReal thanks for letting me know that you are officially full of crap! Newsflash….every woman that is dating (or not dating) is NOT sexually involved! Some of us do know how to keep it to ourselves…and let me add, without the aid of artificial devices!! Now if you don’t know any, then thats on you..

GAman don’t make me frisk you for my pen……now stripping the coat of GAmans’ back..next is the shirt…

By Randyt (aka "Been there, Done that, got a closet FULL of t-shirts)

April 23, 2007 2:03 PM | Link to this

Just Me

If I can not be stimulated mentally and emotionally, then physical stimulation is not an option.

That is so true to me also. Sex is easy, almost a given if that is all that is driving one. For me, as I get older, if a woman is not interesting outside of bed, then she isn’t interesting inside either (although I do admit to looking and do admit that my definition of “interesting” might be slightly variable based on whether there has been a self imposed draught).

By MusingLee

April 23, 2007 2:03 PM | Link to this

Sexi You can’t have your pen back, you shouldn’t have pulled it out…Trying to look all important and ishhh with such an expensive pen…And as long as I’m a Man, I will forever be trying to see boobies.

Now staring at very sexi cleavage

By For Real

April 23, 2007 2:08 PM | Link to this

I am sorry Sexi I was staring at your boobs. What did you say in your last post….

By Dr. Kym aka Relationship Expert

April 23, 2007 2:10 PM | Link to this

For Real just to be fair women have to watch how we talk about men to our sons. As I am a single mom I am careful of how I talk about men around him: 1. He has yet to meet anyone I date and the two he has met he was too young to remember.

I date for my own companionship not for my son. No matter how a man might have hurt my feelings my son doesn’t see that.

By The Truth

April 23, 2007 2:10 PM | Link to this

I’m having problems typing with ling twisting my arm behind me. I’m getting sleepy. zzzzzzzzzzz

By JustMe

April 23, 2007 2:11 PM | Link to this

Hey Randy

Mocha I wondered when you’d find out your name had been recycled. LOL How ya been?

By NCgirlfromATL

April 23, 2007 2:14 PM | Link to this

Musing back to your statement about what do you call the women who have been single for a bit, but are letting the ex hit it…she’s Ms. D-in-a-Glass-Box

in case of emergency (which could be a draught, a weekend w/ nothing better to do, or batteries ran out and CVS is closed, break open glass!

QDT I can’t speak for any of the other blog ladies, but I’ll say that I’ve been looking for Mr. Acceptable for a while. I think when you get into your 30s (lawd…I’ll be justpast mid-30s this weekend), the realities of life set in, and we realize that if we want someone to accept us for all of our imperfections, we have to do the same.

By For Real

April 23, 2007 2:15 PM | Link to this

Off Topic for Blog Lawyers:

Are there any state statues that will not allow for waiving of subrogation concerning Worker’s Comp cases? Or is it on a state by state case?

By Sexione

April 23, 2007 2:18 PM | Link to this

Sexi now pulling out long plastic boob to beat Musing and ForReal over the head til their eyes swell shut!! hehehehe

While I’m sure we all know men and women who are loose, liars, crazy, etc., I think it imperative that we realize that not ALL men/women are not any one way.

By Island Girl

April 23, 2007 2:18 PM | Link to this

Randy, hope you recover soon.

Justme, I agree with you….ONE man is enough for me.

OFF SUBJECT - Like Randy says, “been there done that”. I once dated a guy that was an addicted cheater. I definitely learned a thing or two from that relationship. Ladies, if you wonder why his phone never rings while you’re over there, check to see if the ringer is turned off. At the end of the day, “game recognizes game”.

Furthermore, with STDs on the rise, your life is not worth the risk. Ladies, when your partner is having unprotected sx, it directly affects the timing of your mens. cycle…..TMI…..this might be too much info for the guys on the blog.

By Randyt (aka "Been there, Done that, got a closet FULL of t-shirts)

April 23, 2007 2:19 PM | Link to this

Hi NC

we realize that if we want someone to accept us for all of our imperfections, we have to do the same.

THAT…is a great comment.

By MusingLee

April 23, 2007 2:21 PM | Link to this

NCgirl wouldn’t it be great if we could post folks position on the cars or something….

In the far right lane you have “Ms. D in a box”….

In the fast lane coming up the rear is “Mystery Man w/Ex p-dussy locked down”…

And in the middle lane is demi.

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

By GA.man

April 23, 2007 2:21 PM | Link to this

OOOOOOh Sexione..that’s not your pen ooohhh ahhhh watch out there now!!! i hide it somewhere you cant find it……lolololol

By Atl Lady

April 23, 2007 2:22 PM | Link to this

Demi Did I hit you where you live? I got that piece of advice several years ago and it holds true so far. Glad to see you were so willing to admit to it.

By GA.man

April 23, 2007 2:24 PM | Link to this

Very well said NC i think once we get to the point in life where you know you are not perfect then we stop looking for perfection…..what about common interest…readin,movies..quite evening at home..then hitting a concert or the park…these things mean alot more than others

By JustMe

April 23, 2007 2:26 PM | Link to this

NC Atl / Randy I agree!

By For Real

April 23, 2007 2:26 PM | Link to this

I’m sorry Dr.Kym but you can’t sit like that and expect me to retain anything you just said. Why don’t you cross your legs the other way and lets see if I regain some brain function.

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 2:26 PM | Link to this

JustMe My comments were directed towards The Truth. He was making it seem like if a woman dated multiple guys at once that she was a harlot. Dating and having s3xual relations with multiple men are two different things.

Slim changes into her Wonder Women outfit, takes off her belt that also doubles as a lasso. She lasso’s over to For Real’s way snatching camera out of his hands. The lasso mistakenly unleashes his belt buckle as the crowd laughs hysterically at his sparkling lime green speedo underwear.

By Linguist

April 23, 2007 2:27 PM | Link to this

Truth don’t start with me! and stop trying to make me lose focus!!!! … I was just penning a really long and thought provoking post about a (crazy azz) comment you made and then I made the mistake of going back to the blog b4 posting it… Now I know how make you stop speaking that rhetoric… It’s called the sleeper hold.. keep it up and it’ll turn into a “full nelson”..yes buddy!! I ain’t the mom to 3 boys w/o knowing this ishhh! I’m watching you! :)

((@)) ((@))

By Sexione

April 23, 2007 2:32 PM | Link to this

I agree, that perfection search is for fools. Once you have a certain amount of t-shirts, you learn what’s really important and what’s not. And you also realize that the double standard talk is just that…talk! Ssomebody said it earlier………act like what you want…..act like a garden tool, get a garden tool, act like a liar, get a liar, and so on and so on.

By Demi

April 23, 2007 2:32 PM | Link to this

No matter how a man might have hurt my feelings my son doesn’t see that.

While my mom was very careful about who she dated and brought home (which was very very rare), I could sense when she was hurt…I would give her a kiss on the forehead and a mean bear hug.

About 5min later I’d be back in her penalty box for doing something dumb.

By jerseyboy

April 23, 2007 2:35 PM | Link to this

a little maturity can do wonders for your love life.

By Dr. Kym aka Relationship Expert

April 23, 2007 2:36 PM | Link to this

NC I agree with you at some point you accept a person just as they are.

Lurker you are correct men do tell us sometimes right up front. But also men give off mixed signals and when you ask them they cant tell you what they want. People dont come with a set of instructions..and I have long since given up trying to figure out the behavior of men.

By Island Girl

April 23, 2007 2:38 PM | Link to this

NC..so true..at some point you realize everyone has their own issues to contend with, so you give a person a share chance.

Musing….that is funny.

By MusingLee

April 23, 2007 2:41 PM | Link to this

Musing now stares at a pantless Slim and using his mental ruler, measures the camel toe to be about 16 centimeters.

By Sitting Pretty

April 23, 2007 2:42 PM | Link to this

The search for perfection can potentially be a dead end journey. NC … I completely agree with discovering what you find acceptable. Learning to accept the flaws in others and understanding those within yourself. Remind me of this song…..

But in your eyes I’m a queen You see potential in all my flaws And that’s exactly what I need I don’t know why you love me And that’s why I love you You catch me when I fall Accept me flaws and all And that’s why I love you

By NCgirlfromATL

April 23, 2007 2:44 PM | Link to this

Aaaaawwww Dayum! Who woke up Longtime Lurker?!? LMAO!!

Musing You stoopid! I don’t mind if Demi is swinging, but I really don’t want him changing lanes! LMAO! (just jokes, Demi!) And careening the wrong way down a one-way street on the motorcycle with the side-car are abc and LL! (just jokes, guys!)

Heeeeeeeey Randyt!

GaMan I’m going to defer ForRealdoh’s (SJ’s name chaning is rubbing off!) question to you, since you practice in Ga.

By The Truth

April 23, 2007 2:47 PM | Link to this

Sexi1 define dating. Is that where 3 guys take you out and you have a ball and they end up with blue ones and broke? Thats a game for losers. I’ll take you out only if I’m interested in you and think your worth the time, other than that let the other 2 guys do it. You’re dating like a shot gun, speading yourself all over in hopes of hitting your target. Refine your program, become a sniper. Sure it takes more training but your kill rate is much higher.

Wise, ling keeeps trying new wrestling moves on me and I think the body slam is coming next. Tell her to stop. TY

Ladies, when you call a man a dog that is a perception. We must work to prove we aren’t. One slip and its woof woof. We perceive you to be a ho if you sleep around, even if we do. We can do it with absolutletly no emotion, its physical. Really I don’t even need to know your name. Can you do that?

By JustMe

April 23, 2007 2:48 PM | Link to this

Slimone I unnastand!

It does seems as though men equate dating to s3x. Upon further ponderence of this ideaology of men, one could suspect that men hold this ideaology as the true because they conciously remember how they behaved when they were dating and women said no to their advances; See ya when I see ya so one could be lead to think that if a woman is dating then she must be s3xing because He wouldn’t have it any other way. shame, shame, shame

By DuShawn

April 23, 2007 2:50 PM | Link to this

Truth Of course no one will respect a woman that does not respect herself. My point was that dating or sleeping with more than one partner does not make her a slut. I have known several high caliber, classy ladies that were not involved in a committed relationship and had a select, fortunate few dyck suppliers that they dated from time to time. Contrary to the consensus of posts on the matter by the blog females, the situation I described is more common. ABC ”If she’s dating several at once, well, WTH is that about, no ideas about pursuing the LT possibilities,” I don’t share that view. I’ve always been of the opinion that if I wanted a female, regardless of the competition, I’m a get her. Once she hangs out with me, she’s not going to want to see anyone else. She will want to spend as much time with me as possible. The other suitors will disappear because they no longer have her interest. But that’s me and my history. It might not be the same for every man. Additionally, implicit in the term dating is multiple partners. If you’re only dating one person, you’re not really dating, you’re starting a relationship.

By "Longtime Lurker"

April 23, 2007 2:51 PM | Link to this

@Dr.Kym Your response did not surprise me!

I am not pointing fingers here, but men more so know what they want than women and women defintely give off mixed signals! Y’all communicate purely through emotion and your action often times don’t line up with your words!

Men do not give off mixed signals, they just choose not to tell you the truth, partially in fear of hurting yo feelings!

I would say that 90 percent of men know exactly what they want and when they see it, they know it automatically!

Some one said it earlier and I agree…either you are “that chick” or your are not! There is no grey area in the spectrum!

Now a dude can keep you around and make use out of the situation, but you will neva be “that chick” to him!

Do I need to refer back to my tier system, for reference?

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 2:55 PM | Link to this

Slim notices Musing trying to size up her camel toe and blocks his mental ruler with her wrist guards. Mental ruler now picking up Musing’s own 16 centimeter wee-wee…ballz-n-all

By JustMe

April 23, 2007 2:57 PM | Link to this

Truth Let’s KIR please!

One slip and its woof woof. What you meant to say is…….

One glimpse of a slip and it’s woof woof!

Men kill me trying to blame women for them being easy.

No matter what a man does to JustMe my reaction is not going to be to go out and help a guy grow gills just because some dude hurt me. I’ll help him grow gills when I deem him worthy to swim in my pool! Not because a male did some jacked up ish!

Who the F are you and where is the Real Truth?

By JustMe

April 23, 2007 3:01 PM | Link to this

LL Do indulge us with your tier system once again; however this time break it down as to how the tiered women are when it comes to their sexual prowness.

T1 Only sleeps with husband after marriage….. T2 Sleeps with SO, SO’s friends etc…..

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 3:06 PM | Link to this

LL bless us with your tier system again…Puleezzeee! lol

By Demi

April 23, 2007 3:06 PM | Link to this

Atl Lady when I first realize I was ready to settle down and date one woman at time, I thought something was seriously wrong with me for even thinking that…I blame Lil Demi for forcing me to mature so quickly!!

Alvin: I ask God for a second chance and he did…I will not foolishly waste my life anymore.

By Sexione

April 23, 2007 3:07 PM | Link to this

TheUnTruth WTH??? is your post to me about again? Sorry, couldn’t hear you over the BS detector!!!

Men do not give off mixed signals, they just choose not to tell you the truth, partially in fear of hurting yo feelings! Partially true, men most times don’t tell the truth to get what they want. They know that telling the truth will narrow the numbers for sure. Yes, there will be some chick who will give it up anyway, but more often than not, she’ll ditch you for the next dude….or use you to serve your purpose for her.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again………men tend to use women for sex (because they can), and women tend to use men for money (because we know sex doesn’t mean that much to you)! Now, I’m going home!!!! Peace

By NCgirlfromATL

April 23, 2007 3:09 PM | Link to this

Men do not give off mixed signals, they just choose not to tell you the truth, partially in fear of hurting yo feelings!

Is that supposed to make it sound better? LOL! We don’t give off mixed signals, we just lie! But, it’s all with the best of intentions! Truth is LL, men and women both avoid the truth b/c we don’t want to deal with the consequences. Not that lying makes it any easier…just a procrastination of the truth. Eventually, it all comes out in the wash.

By Dr. Kym aka Relationship Expert

April 23, 2007 3:14 PM | Link to this

LL spare me the tired tier system. Believe it or not just as you work one up for women we can work one up for men…in the end there is no clear cut measurement on human behavior. The concepts of cataloging people is idiotic. But it is what we do.

We as humans try to fit our mates into neat little boxes so that we can say we have some measure of control at predicting their behavior..when in reality a T1 guy could be the best guy for a T2 woman and vice versa.

By Got that?

April 23, 2007 3:17 PM | Link to this

It’s amazing to sit back and read some of the postings. It’s the classic men vs. women. However, the truth is that it is all the same — simply people taking advantage of a situation, whether male or female. If a man wants something from a woman, he won’t stop until he finds the woman that’ll give him what he wants. Same is true for women. They won’t stop until they get what they want. Both sexes what to feel good about themselves and have different ways of obtaining that feeling. Some seek the easy way out, usually through some form of usury. Some base their self-worth on domination. Others base their self-worth on what they can get others to do for them, which is also domination. Men are usually the former and women, the latter. Both are simply using strategies that work. They’re doing the same thing and getting the same results. Promiscuous people, whether male or female, are generally unhappy and have low self-esteem. Their promiscuity is a temporary fix to mask the underlying problem of low self-image. It’s their drug of choice.

By JustMe

April 23, 2007 3:18 PM | Link to this

NC Atl yes it does, yes it does!

By SeanJohnson

April 23, 2007 3:18 PM | Link to this

@ LL..cosigning last post…when we find the “one”..we act accordingly…romance, showing her how we feel..the whole nine..actions are on auto pilot…when we are just making the best out of the situation..females get frustrated when the frienship doesnt progress into what she wants it to..when all the while we know exactly what we are doing.

By MusingLee

April 23, 2007 3:19 PM | Link to this

Slim that was uncalled for…Hahahahaha

By Demi

April 23, 2007 3:21 PM | Link to this

NC Funny funny

By The Truth

April 23, 2007 3:21 PM | Link to this

Justme chill honey, you’ll get some leftovers when you get rid of that nasty attitude. Whats wrong, not enough guys out there willing to overlook those skeletons and swim in that pool? The reason you dress up everyday (makeup, push up bras, thongs, lipstick, perfume, etc…) is to attract mates. You do it because it works. It works because we love to see when you do it. Its a perfect system. The truth is we love when all of you do it. Woof woof.

By QueDogTeaching

April 23, 2007 3:22 PM | Link to this

NC girl and GA man That is kind of the point. I have heard for so long that it is not the good things you can put up with. It is how many bad habits a person has that you cannot put up with. Yet, singles still look for perfection and x a mate off the list for one infraction, or blotch. There is no perfection, ask people who have been happily married for a long time. It is all on what you can accept in a mate. So can you accept after perfection is not an option.

By melo

April 23, 2007 3:22 PM | Link to this

Ladies, when your partner is having unprotected sx, it directly affects the timing of your mens. cycle…..TMI…..this might be too much info for the guys on the blog-Island Girl. Pliz give us some of that Island knowledge maaan!

By Lady Dark w/Dimples

April 23, 2007 3:22 PM | Link to this

Although I don’t precribe to the multiple s3xual partners practice, at the same time, I don’t liken them to hos or sluts. For some reason when those words are used I think more along the lines of someone with scandalous, deceitful behavior…like when you cheat in a committed relationship….you fit the category male or female. If you’re lying to get a piece…you fit the category..male or female! If people are honest and upfront then I don’t think they should be called derogatory names.

By Dr. Kym aka Relationship Expert

April 23, 2007 3:24 PM | Link to this

LL and Truth If men are so emotional detached why pray tell would you care about hurting a woman’s feelings or not? I mean we are keeping it real right? If you are screwing around for the heck of screwing around and you dont really care for the woman then why spare her feelings? Is it to provide some type of guilt free barrier for yourself?

By For Real

April 23, 2007 3:26 PM | Link to this

Dr.Kym I agree with you and the other person that posted “either you are the right one or you are not”. It is that simple. It’s just that men and women don’t like to accept the fact that they are not the one. Especially when they hold themselves in such high regards.

How could he not want me I’m pretty, I’m fine, I got a good job, and I treat him good?”

All of the above may be true except for one thing and it’s the most important thing YOU ARE NOT THE RIGHT ONE FOR HIM

By JustMe

April 23, 2007 3:26 PM | Link to this

SJ / LL then if y’all know that she is not the one, why continue to mislead her? Why not pick a convenient lie and end it? Could it be selfishness that keeps you stringing her along? How long do y’all keep her in your wake? Until the next Not The One comes along and you play the same game with her, then another and another? It’s a vicious cycle, is it too much to ask for men to be accountable for their behavior too? JustAskin’!

By NCgirlfromATL

April 23, 2007 3:28 PM | Link to this

SJ when all the while we know exactly what we are doing. All this is is solid evidence that you’re trying to control the relationship…the same thing women get railed on for when we aren’t quick to give up the draws!

What’s that I hear from yonder hills?? Miiiiister Keeeeeeeettle…..It’s meeeeeeee, Miiiiiiiiister Pooooooooot! Pick up the white courtesy phoooooooooooone!

By The Truth

April 23, 2007 3:35 PM | Link to this

DR personally I don’t want to have “that talk” with you. Its not that serious. This is recreation, nothing more. I don’t care. I was simply trying to maintain a delicate balance to get what I wanted for as long as I could. You put yourself out like that and I repsonded in kind. I know ladies this is hard to believe but not every guy considers you to be special. Some think of you as a bucket to unload on when necessary. You decide by your actions where you fit in a mans life.

By For Real

April 23, 2007 3:36 PM | Link to this

JustMe You are assuming that these women haven’t been given a choice. And you are right guys need to assume responsibility for their but so do women, It can’t aways be guy’s fault everytime can it???

By Randyt (aka "Been there, Done that, got a closet FULL of t-shirts)

April 23, 2007 3:38 PM | Link to this

My two cents

Today’s blog would almost make one, male or female, just quit dating. Hellz I like the company of a woman, and the bad does occasionally come with the good. Like I’ve said before, I love all of ‘em, because I learned from all of ‘em. All things considered, life would be pretty dull if there wasn’t some drama.

Bootom line, not all men are ‘dogs’ ALL of the time, and not ALL women are crazy ALL of the time (just sometimes, LOL).

By will c

April 23, 2007 3:39 PM | Link to this

Most men know within the first couple of dates what they want from a woman. She’s either wife material or a roll in the sack. If you’re wife material, a guy will try harder to impress you and gain your love and trust. If you’re a roll in the sack, he will say or do anything to get laid.

Rich Guys Trophy Wife http://www.richguystrophywife.com

By JustMe

April 23, 2007 3:40 PM | Link to this

Truth You got the wrong WOMAN! I wear what I like because I Like it, because it suits my mood for the day. I choose my perfume and lingere to suit my tastes. If it happens that a guy likes it too then I hit the bonus that day, but it’s not required that anyone like what I like. No need to do things because I want attention from guys who most likely will never make it past Hello with me. Men approach me almost every day. There are plenty of guys who would love a chance to take a dip in these waters, but alas not even a fraction of them will ever know my name. That’s JustMe

Furthermore; there are no skeletons in my closet. Granted I realize that you have only been posting for a few weeks, hang around long enough and you will soon see…….. Ain’t No Shame In My Game I am JustMe!

Please do not mistake my standards and beliefs as an attitude. No attitude required. It is what it is!

By "Longtime Lurker"

April 23, 2007 3:40 PM | Link to this

Tier System 101…

Tier 1 - Simply put,Marriage Material! This is the kinda woman that will make a cat stand up strait and consider marriage, when that was the last thing on his mind!

She is a woman that is different from all of his past women and on a scale of 1-10, she is a 9 or a 10 and he knows she is the one, when he meets her! He does not have to think about it, he knows! The sex makes your toes curl, but there are many other things she brings to the table, besides sex!

Tier 2 This chick has the potential to go up or down on the scale!

She has it together,but she is not quite a starter, more like a good player off the bench!

With minimal work, she can move into a Tier 1 position. If she thinks that her ish don’t stink, she can get demoted to a Tier 3.Sex is good, but needs improvement!

Tier 3 This chick is fun to hang out with, but you would not sport her to nothing! She usually calls you more than you call her!

You keep hours with her on days that you take off from work,sick days or when the sun goes down or early am on the weekends. The chick never meets the boys and family is off limits!

Unfortunately, she can only remain as a tier 3 or move down to a tier 4. Sex is kewl, but you can take it or leave it!

Tier 4 Simply put, a “jump off” just good for target practice! The chick will do anything for ya!

Only gets calls from you at 11pm or later. By no means can this chick spend the night, after sex, she has to go!

The other thing women is just because you think you are marriage material does not mean that in a mans eyes you are marriage material!

He has to see some value in you, that he does not already have!

Degree(s), your own house,car and a job does not qualify you as a good wife for that dude! You need to always know where you stand with whatever dude you are involved with!

There is an abundance of chicks in the “A” that have those things I named above, what makes you stand out from the rest of the other women and what makes you right for the right dude?

By MusingLee

April 23, 2007 3:41 PM | Link to this

Yeahhh, what got that said!

If men are so emotional detached why pray tell would you care about hurting a woman’s feelings or not?

Dr.Kym Ahhhhh, that’s because we don’t want our ishh f/ked up…LOLOLOLOLOL

Musing exits office to find the Pimpmobile sitting on 4 flats

Musing: Awwwww dayummmmmmmmmmm

By DuShawn

April 23, 2007 3:43 PM | Link to this

“YOU ARE NOT THE RIGHT ONE FOR HIM” Not only does a female have to be the right one, but it also has to be the right time. I have dated a few very special women that were deserving of the wifey title, but when our paths crossed I wasn’t at that point on my journey where I wanted to be a husband. Sometimes you could be the right girl at the wrong time.

By JustMe

April 23, 2007 3:46 PM | Link to this

For Real I agree it’s NOT always the man’s fault. But when do PEOPLE mature enough to stop USING other people to satisfy their selfish desires.

By Dr. Kym aka Relationship Expert

April 23, 2007 3:47 PM | Link to this

Truth Why does it have to be the talk I mean you say you speak truth so again if you care nothing for the woman’s feelings why not say up front this is what it is. Or better yet when you are done say this is what it was? Communicate..Communicate it is not hard people.

By "Longtime Lurker"

April 23, 2007 3:49 PM | Link to this

@Dr. Kym & Just Me I don’t think no dude with a heart wants to break a chicks heart!

Man,I have been in this position more than once and I have just fed the chick hints, thinking maybe she will just move on and pick up on my hints!

A lot of these ladies just doomed themselves, with something they did, said,did not do or they just did not make the cut for whatever reason!

I have kept a few around, because they were good in other areas or had some great skills in other areas,it is a case by case situation!

By JustMe

April 23, 2007 3:52 PM | Link to this

DuShawn True! Timing is a crucial element in dating.

By Ordessa

April 23, 2007 3:53 PM | Link to this

The Truth is probably some ugly dude, bitter about women, using the blog to espouse his corny beliefs

I bet LL and The Truth are BOTH ugly

By JustMe

April 23, 2007 3:54 PM | Link to this

LL That is a selfish behavior and a complete waste of time for all involved.

By Island Girl

April 23, 2007 3:55 PM | Link to this

I’m sweating reading these posts…it’s getting hot in here.

SJ/LL game is game. Ladies, men will string you along if you let them. The same is true with women. A woman can make you feel like you’re the mac in her cheese and think nothing of you at the end of the day. It is up to an individual to be considerate of the other person’s feelings. If you know someone is emotionally “caught up” with you in a relationship you deem, “not for you”, let the person go. Spare them the emotional roller coaster. The problem is waiting….people truly do not want to endure being alone. After so much time is wasted with experiencing insignificant encounters/relationships…are you anymore satisfied?

Karma is truly a bi#ch…what goes around does come back around. Trust me…been there done that.

By "Longtime Lurker"

April 23, 2007 3:57 PM | Link to this

@DuShawn Frat, you hit the nail on the head! I forgot to mention that it is always a timing isssue with dudes and unfortunately, 90 percent of the time, dudes are not on the same clock as women, in regards to marriage!

Timing and Compatibility have to align with the stars, with that dude and the other thing is there is no real advantage to get married for a dude nowadays,if he has his ish together!

By JustMe

April 23, 2007 3:57 PM | Link to this

LL Blog Fellas maybe she will just move on and pick up on my hints!

What do you all call a woman who continues to date a guy hoping he will pick up on her hints? Surely not compassionate!

The 2X standard of dating resides on many levels.

By Lady Dark w/Dimples

April 23, 2007 3:58 PM | Link to this

JustMeWe live in a fallen world where human nature is a selfish one. We all think about self first…some are more honest than others. But I honestly feel that truth, LL, SJ, aren’t saying anything we as women don’t already know. We know that if we were to give a dude anytime he’ll hang himself and show his true colors or he’ll represent and we can grow together.

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 3:59 PM | Link to this

MusingLee you started it. LOL!

I take a ride around the block for some fresh air and it looks like a war broke out. Let’s just all agree to disagree. Both men and women have their own personal agendas and use what they know to move them towards getting what they want.

However, in regards to men being emotionally detached, yet lie about their intentions doesn’t really make too much sense either. Yeah you’re playing the game to hopefully get the drawlz but wouldn’t it be just as effective if you were straight from the beginning? Not all women are looking for husbands and/or boyfriends. Some chicks just want that dance on that pole between your legs, get a good workout, and back to business as usual. And men I don’t want to hear the BS about women not being able to have a platonically s3xual relationship w/o being emotional about it. I know a few chicks like that but the men for some reason run up behind them wanting more. Is that because she isn’t paying them any attention after the deeds are done?

slim goes back to acting like she’s working

By "Longtime Lurker"

April 23, 2007 4:03 PM | Link to this

@Ordessa I keep it 100 and you just proved what I said to Wise earlier, that you all don’t take our words to heart!

I have walked the walk and no, I am not unattractive! I have no issues in the meeting/hooking up with women category!

By MusingLee

April 23, 2007 4:05 PM | Link to this

Dayum if Ordessa didn’t jump from behind the blog door and cold slap Truth & LL…hahahahahahaha

This place is great! LOLOLOLOLOL

By Island Girl

April 23, 2007 4:05 PM | Link to this

LL…Unfortunately your tier does nothing but measure your sexual prowess. It is sad that this scale is the only caliber of judgment your potential wife has to measure up too.

Just my opinion.

By JustMe

April 23, 2007 4:07 PM | Link to this

LDD I don’t discount what they are saying by any means. I’m asking why even waste his/her time doing it. They have a long list of names they call women who behave exactly as they describe themselves, and that woman is not to be trusted or wifed and only good for 1 thing. Well suffice it to say, they should view themselves in the same light. JustSayin’

Slimone What you said is true. Many women do the same thing. It’ll take a woman to beat a man at his own game for him to see the forest for the trees.

By Randyt (aka "Been there, Done that, got a closet FULL of t-shirts)

April 23, 2007 4:08 PM | Link to this

Hey Slim

If I read your last post correctly, I want to cosign. I’ve known women who used the guy for sex and when he found out she was ‘using’ him too, all of a sudden he had to have her ‘emotionally too’. In other words, the dude wanted not just to hit it, but he had to know that he had her heart too or he felt he was ‘losing’. When he realized that he was being used, HE all of a sudden wanted more. Sometimes (often) we covet what we can’t have, just because we can’t have it…including a woman’s heart.

By The Truth

April 23, 2007 4:11 PM | Link to this

Justme I can appreciate there’s no shame in your game but I’m going to let you in a little secret. YOU ARE NO LONGER THE PRIZE. I’m sure you could have each of the guys that approach you, for a night. Truth be told you want the best of all worlds. You want to be able to pick and choose who you want when you want. You could when everyone wanted to be with you. It used to be that way, when a man was lucky to have a good woman. You and your “sistas” messed that up. Now a good man is the prize. He can go anywhere and there is a market for him. You can’t. The market is saturated with women just like you that have compromised themselves to be free. You want freedom to do what you want, say what you want, you can have it, but it comes with a pricetag. You are now paying the price for the things you want. You are so free you now have no one willing to tie you down. You created this situation for yourself. Its the price of freedom.

Really I already know a thousand women just like you.

By JustMe

April 23, 2007 4:13 PM | Link to this

Randy Perfect example of beating a man at his own game. TYVM!

By For Real

April 23, 2007 4:14 PM | Link to this

JustMe It has nothing to do with maturity. It all comes back to entitlement. I am entitled to be happy, I am entitled to be sucessful, I am entitled to have friends, I am entitled to have a good man, I am entitled to have a job and so on.. but they don’t get what they believe they suppose have then they lash out and blame others for their LACK OF EFFORT

By SeanJohnson

April 23, 2007 4:14 PM | Link to this

@ NCAA & Irie Girl…its not really about game or stringing anyone along…no one puts a gun to your head or lie…atleast i dont..if you have plans or an agenda for a guy you cant be upset if things dont go as u like them or planned…i dont know about yall..but i learn from each dating experience…and i try NOT to make the same mistakes…u females have us on the blog and u really should utilized up so your next dating experience will be positive..

By NCgirlfromATL

April 23, 2007 4:14 PM | Link to this

LL The problem with hoping that a woman picks up on your hints is that she might not interpret your hints the way you mean for her to. You say that men show their intentions through their actions, but that leaves too much room for interpretation. You’re telling her that you’re working a lot, which is why you aren’t spending as much time with her, except at night. She thinks you’re telling her the truth, but your hint is that she’s been demoted to a Tier 3 chick.

Unfair. This is a classic example of how mind reading goes terribly wrong.

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 4:16 PM | Link to this

Randyt the whole phenomena is crazy. I guess Sherry Argov was on to something in her book, “Why Men Marry/Love Bit@es”. Men are in need of that challenge I guess and when they come across a women that seems to be playing by her own rules, they all of a sudden make it their job to make her his…emotionally as you stated.

I guess the next time I go to Club QuickTrip, I’m just going to start cussing dudes out and see how many numbers i go home with.

By Ordessa

April 23, 2007 4:19 PM | Link to this

YOU AREN’T THE PRIZE EITHER

Men make it seem as if we are going to shrivel and die if we don’t have a man.

It’s NOT the reality, your egos need to be checked BIG TIME

By DuShawn

April 23, 2007 4:19 PM | Link to this

LL “Man,I have been in this position more than once and I have just fed the chick hints,” you bring up an interesting point. When you start dropping hints and they don’t respond it signifies the beginning of the using process. In other words, you don’t want to hurt them emotionally. Although you want to say “I’m tired of you, loose my number.” you don’t, because you know they will be heartbroken. (you may say it more eloquently, but the meaning is the same.)So you began to drop hints. They are ignored. Then the mistreatment begins, hoping she would recognize the disrespect and leave on her own. If she chooses to remain, it gets real ugly. You start bussin on her face and sending her home soiled and finally the ultimate set out. “Baby, my dawg is in the other room. He thinks you’re cute. I need you to go in there and take care of him like you take care of me.” If she doesn’t get offended and curse your azz out and leave. You got you one. Keep her on deck for parties and entertainment for visiting potnahs. In retrospect, It’s better kill her feelings quickly and let the healing begin, than to bleed her slow and make her suffer.

By NCgirlfromATL

April 23, 2007 4:19 PM | Link to this

SJ Everyone has an agenda in any kind of relationship. For some, it’s just to have a cut buddy, for others it’s a LT relationship. What I was pointing out was that women can’t be solely to blame for having an agenda. There is no such thing as a person who comes into a relationship w/ absolutely no intentions. Their intentions may be simply to hit and run…but that in and of itself is an agenda.

By Randyt (aka "Been there, Done that, got a closet FULL of t-shirts)

April 23, 2007 4:20 PM | Link to this

Hey Just

YAVW…it is kind of amusing what thoughts run through a guy’s head when he realizes HE was the TOY, like WTF!!! …(okay where is that t-shirt, I know I saw it this weekend while putting the newest in, LOL).

By The Truth

April 23, 2007 4:20 PM | Link to this

Ordessa I have a woman I could marry right now (She’s already asked me). Do you have a mate? It’s not about being ugly or good looking, its about understanding the times. You ladies have made yourselves dispensable. Why is that so hard to understand? You would like to believe we’re ugly, on the dl, broke, and just plain unhappy without you, but we’re not.

By MusingLee

April 23, 2007 4:21 PM | Link to this

Now lowering rope to help Truth back to the surface

Truth, I don’t know if WTH you just said was right or not, but that was deep…LOLOLOLOLOLOL…Dang JustMe I think Truth just pezzed on your individuality…hehehehehehe

IslandGirl Please tally me bananna.

By For Real

April 23, 2007 4:22 PM | Link to this

LL Duck, LL, Duc.. Awwwww Dayummm too late SLAP. Dayum that Ordessa has a mean right… hmmm she didn’t look like the tong type I was think boi short.. nice picture tho

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 4:23 PM | Link to this

NC are these the same men that get on us women all the time for not communicating what’s on our minds because they arent mind readers? But now they are telling us that they send us hints for us to try to read their minds? Hmmm interesting

By abc

April 23, 2007 4:24 PM | Link to this

My apologies in advance and no offense, but I’m just scratching my head and rolling my eyes at most of this today. IF you all truly believe all these things you’re saying about tiers and use for sex and all that, then IT’S NO WONDER that you have so few fulfilling relationships. All you want to do is use people, and you’ll apparently never trust anyone again. That’s a shame.

By Island Girl

April 23, 2007 4:24 PM | Link to this

SJ, Come on now, if you truly have no good intentions for the person you’re with but fulfilling your sexually endeavors…it that not stringing the person along (especially when she has made her feelings and intentions clear to you).

By JustMe

April 23, 2007 4:24 PM | Link to this

Truth Now you know why you could never have a woman like JustMe You got it all twisted up in the Game! You think you are the prize. ROFLMAO!!! Read the Good Book for enlightenment sir.

When you first started posting, you obvisiously sent your representative to display the hard facts that women sometimes do not want to accept but need to hear. Your representative was appreciated and welcomed. But here lately, you seem to think that every woman will fall for that ratio spewing crap and weak azz game. Granted there are more women than men, it is not for the purpose that you surmise. Without women, there would be no MEN! God created a woman from the rib of man yada yada yada, but until men can give birth and keep the population increasing, MEN are not the prize! He that findeth a wife finds a good thing

You can’t fool JustMe with the bannana in the tail pipe trick…. U so cwazy!

By "Longtime Lurker"

April 23, 2007 4:25 PM | Link to this

@The Truth You just spoketh the TRUTH

@NC I was just speaking from my past! Now I am brutally honest with the females I come in contact with! As you get older, you should get wiser and also change your game up to reflect where you are in your life!

I realize now that I have nothing to loose or gain by speaking my mind to any chick, esp. if I just met her!

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

April 23, 2007 4:27 PM | Link to this

My,my,my!!! I get busy at work and all h3llz breaks loose in the Blog!!!

GAMan open that daggone Blog Bar before it gets really messy in here!!

You guys have made some interesting points, now lets keep it clean and above the belt please!

By "Longtime Lurker"

April 23, 2007 4:30 PM | Link to this

@Dushawn Frat, you got me rolling on this one…Send her home soiled…Classic..LOL!

By NCgirlfromATL

April 23, 2007 4:31 PM | Link to this

DuShawn I agree with your 4:19 post, with one exception. You are assuming that the hints are being ignored, when in fact, they could just be misinterpreted. You’re dropping hints, but still having sex with her. What kind of message do you think that sends to a woman, especially since it has been well established that women often attach more emotion to sex than men do?

You can’t expect a woman to understand your so-called hints when your actions (which you so vehemently insist are the manifestations of your feelings) say “I’m still into you” b/c you’re still getting into her (literally). Pick a direction, folks! LOL!

By abc

April 23, 2007 4:31 PM | Link to this

The Truth, SHE asked YOU to marry HER?! See now, that’s just something wrong with with the whole dayum thing, right there.

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 4:33 PM | Link to this

Dushawn Dang boy, you painted a very harsh picture there buddy….bust on her face and send her home soiled! WOW!

JustMe I’m cracking my azz up over here. LOL banana in the tail pipe

By Lady Dark w/Dimples

April 23, 2007 4:33 PM | Link to this

truth It used to be that way, when a man was lucky to have a good woman. You and your “sistas” messed that up. Now a good man is the prize

Here lies the problem….a relationship built on mutual respect, the partner realize that both are the prize. I know I’ve found a prize in my SO…but let him tell it…I’m the only sane women walking!! LOL!

JustMe true, they should. Unfortunately, society calls them a stud,playa, pimp, or whateva other ridiculous name they use…

By SeanJohnson

April 23, 2007 4:34 PM | Link to this

@ Blog Females..now LL’s tier is something that most of yall despise…but thing is..his tier system and the next mans tier system may/will differ…so dont get upset if u feel u are not a high tier female according to his card..one mans trash/dumpster juice is another mans treasure..Women have tier systems too..and its just has harsh..we dont get bent out of shape because of it..

By MusingLee

April 23, 2007 4:37 PM | Link to this

I don’t know where Ordessa came from…But she entered the blog with both arms spinning “haymaker” style…and she is hitting anybody within her wheelhouse…..LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Musing now trying to slice roastbeef using Ordessa’s swirling fists

By Lightening the Mood

April 23, 2007 4:37 PM | Link to this

bannana in the tail pipe Hehe

By Dr. Kym aka Relationship Expert

April 23, 2007 4:37 PM | Link to this

LL and Dushawn if you are going to practice heartless treatment why the need to sugar coat or drop hints…no man wants to break a woman’s heart. More songs about heartbreak than you can count it happens all the time…sorry I outgrew the lie to me gene about 4 guys back…I welcome honest convo tell me what in the heck it is you want and if I agree I will roll..but if at any point I cant deal with the situation you will know….because I will tell you and then the ball is in your court fish or cut bait. If you choose to fish fine if you cut bait fine. That is what being an adult is. Engaging in adult situations in an adult manner.

By The Truth

April 23, 2007 4:42 PM | Link to this

Ordessa I think its a simple matter of wants. I can have mine and you can’t have yours. Don’t be upset. Times are changing and your on the first wave. Would I be correct in saying that you want a family, a nice house, etc…? Be real. I don’t want to be married again, I’ve done that. I don’t want kids either. I have a nice home, I’m educated, cars, all the material things but most important I understand the times. You call me a dog or such but the truth is only one of us can win. I’d rather it be me. If you win I pay you child support and you ruin the next 20 yrs of my life. You say its not bad because you get what you wanted in the beginning, a child. I’m just the guy funding it. I say my way is not bad because I get what I wanted in the beginning. By the way, my girl understands where I’m coming from and we’ve had 2 good years together. If she needs more I’ll direct her to this blog, maybe she can pick up some tips from you.

I think NCinATL summed it up. We all have agendas. Happiness is simply when both agendas are the same.

By MochaTreat

April 23, 2007 4:42 PM | Link to this

Musing you would love that now wouldn’t you…I hate to break the news to you but….there won’t be any fighting!!

@Justme I am doing well….I have my hands full with some of DeKalb’s finest children! How are you?

By Island Girl

April 23, 2007 4:42 PM | Link to this

GaMan Let me have a maduri sour, heck forget that…let me have a grey goose vodka on the rocks…ish…the blog is hot.

I need a designated driver…SJ, MUSING??

By JustMe

April 23, 2007 4:43 PM | Link to this

Dr. Kym ^5 Engaging in adult situations in an adult manner.

By "Longtime Lurker"

April 23, 2007 4:44 PM | Link to this

@The Truth You just spoketh the TRUTH again!

Ladies, can I give y’all some “real talk” ???

@Truth Is giving it to you, with no chaser! Most of the dudes I know have no issues meeting women from all walks of life…Tier 1-10!

There is no incentive anymore for a man to settle down, unless he wants too!

Women have made it too easy for us and they are willing and able to do just about anything for you, regardless of that mans status!

Broke dudes are getting down and middle class dudes are getting down and rich dudes are really getting down!

I have traveled all over the world, including Asia,Japan,Italy,Turkey, Europe, Africa,etc. and every where I go, chicks are down for the struggle!

At anytime, I could settle down with any nationality, if I wanted to, so the amazing thing to me is that these American women think that they the ish, when they are really not, if you are well traveled and met chicks from all over, as I have!

Chicks in Milan,Italy, Paris, Amsterdam, S. Africa, Brasil will stomp most of these American women, with education,looks, jobs, etc.

Options are everywhere for dudes and a good dude is in high demand everywhere!

By NCgirlfromATL

April 23, 2007 4:47 PM | Link to this

Co-signing on Dr. Kym’s 4:37 post with the mysteriously stolen platinum blog pen Muuhahahaha!!!

Slim Those would be the same men…

By MochaTreat

April 23, 2007 4:49 PM | Link to this

GAman I am still waiting on my new name!! While I am waiting…I’ll take a Hypnotiq and pineapple juice! Thanks! :-)

By SeanJohnson

April 23, 2007 4:52 PM | Link to this

@ Irie Girl…u know you shouldnt be drinking around guys like musing and myself…next thing u know you will be saying one of use took “advantagep” of you in your tipsy state…

By JustMe

April 23, 2007 4:53 PM | Link to this

LL back to my original question: Why Lie? Just tell her up front you just want a girl to be there for you when your nature rises and if shes still down then you have done your part, y’all can kick it with all eyes wide open! Don’t hide behind a lie to get what you want. It’ll be better for you if everybody is dealing with the facts not lies (game).

Musing I guess the blog ate my earlier post……

What’s important is that The Truth recognizes that I am unlike any other woman. I am JustMe

Dime pecices come a dime a dozen and he can have them all, but at the end of the day, what does he really have? Jock itch

By MusingLee

April 23, 2007 4:54 PM | Link to this

IslandGirl If you want to ride, you better come on…I’m heading out…Ohhhh and you have to ride topless, cotton-poly blends mess up the suede in my Civic.

By DuShawn

April 23, 2007 4:55 PM | Link to this

Dr. Kym The behavior I described above was indicative of my mindset over a decade ago. My thinking has evolved and matured. I would never mistreat a woman like that now. Today, I would be brutally honest. I’d tell her “Baby, I’m not feeling you and I’m tired of f#%ckin you. Save yourself and leave me alone.” If she continued to pursue after such a harsh dismissal. I would ignore her advances.

By For Real

April 23, 2007 4:57 PM | Link to this

Musing: What up For Real?? What you doing/

For Real: Building a wall around LL and Truth.

Musing: Hell man you gonna need more brick and morter than that if you expecting to protect those brothas.

For Real: Dayum, I guess I will have to sell some pictures.

GA.Man: What fellas? What yall up to?

Musing: Trying to save LL and Truth

GA.man: I’ll get started on the mote

For Real: Fellas how do you think the MLB will give me for this picture? I call it Punch and Peek

By Dr. Kym aka Relationship Expert

April 23, 2007 4:58 PM | Link to this

Truth and LL An in the end when what will it really matter. There is this poem not sure of the exact title but it talks about the dash in between the day you live and the day you die. What will you make of that dash? Right now I here two guys so worried about money and material crap that if the stock market crashed tomorrow..or the industry they are in folded… or they would be hard pressed to know what to do…because all happiness, all dreams ride on that stuff you are so worried about losing to some woman. Cant lose my house, my cars and my bikes to some chick…Naw playa not me. Sad really because if you suffer some tragic illness will all your stuff comfort you? In the end fellows while you pushing to hold that stuff all you are is dust in the wind.

By The Truth

April 23, 2007 5:08 PM | Link to this

LL these ladies are taking this personally. Its not. This is what it is.

I too have travelled the world and had a market wherever I go. LL, doesn’t it give you a whole new perspective? I cook, clean, wash clothes, dishes, provide, have credit so good I can a buy things I can’t afford, etc… Everything you would have on your list of desirable traits. What I don’t do is go for the banana in the tailpipe justme. LOL (I’m not talking about you personally because obviously I don’t know you. I’m talking generally) I have the things necessary to complete the happily ever after, the problem is I’m living my happily ever after. My girl is happy, I’m happy and thats all that matters. You all are out here fighting for your individuality when you already have it. Enjoy it. I’m ejoying mine.

I think the real problem is you’ve been told all your lives that a prince would show up and you can’t even get a frog.

Ladies, a rolls royce is a rolls because everyone can’t have it. Thats where it gets its value. This is not about a car.

By lovelyliz

April 24, 2007 9:11 AM | Link to this

I’ve dated all 3 in the same guy.