Misadventures in Atlanta

By asnem

April 23, 2007 8:14 AM | Link to this

being smart isn’t always a good thing, because most people are so insecure and are playing so games, that even though people will tell you that they just can’t stand dumb people, the only thing they don’t like more than a dumb person, is a smart person.

By GA.man

April 23, 2007 8:20 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Slim,Justme,Raqi,LDD,Mocha,Mo,Sexione, Kinder Wasuup to all the guys be right back need coffee after all the games this weekend NBA action

By JustMe

April 23, 2007 8:26 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Wise and All

I’m taking Detroit and Denver in the Playoffs GO PISTONS…. GO NUGGETS

On Topic:

Party Guy I’ve not met many of these type of men. I attribute that to JustMe not being a bar fly.

Mystery Guy I’ve come across a few of these in my dating days. This type of guy is usually a skilled deciever and behaves this way more often than not because he is not really single. I met one guy who eventually told me My wife is married, I am not WTFE! Next!

Mr. Right Now has also come my way and offered up his game de jour. This type of man wants the best of JustMe less the commitment. I admit I have been slow at recognizing this type of guy, as he is also not the type of guy I date LT. Once I find out that he does not desire a monogomous relationship, it’s a wrap.

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 8:27 AM | Link to this

Happy Monday All Gaman,Musing,Demi,For Real,Mo, Mocha,JustMe,NC,kinder,abc,Jake,Ling…anyone i missed

I would say Mr. Party Guy and Mr. Right Now are one in the same. I have dated the Mystery Man and frankly I got tired of feeling like I was sitting at Agatha’s Mystery Theater all the time. As I’ve gotten older, the mystery bs gets played out faster and is more recognizable.

How can you tell when someone you are dating is ready for something meaningful? I will agree with your GD, on the fact that the guy will be more open and honest with you and should exhibit characteristics of a man looking to settle down and/or get serious.

Party Guy, Mystery Guy, & Mr Right Now are only the clear cut categories. The problems lie when these guys disguise themselves as “The ready to settle down guy or ‘cross dressers’ so to speak. I’ve dated a guy that totally came off as wanting something more than just a cutty buddy or fly by night deal. But time showed his true colors and it was just infuriating to find out what this guy was really about. Those are the ones that make it hard for folks that are really looking for something real.

By ImAPeach404

April 23, 2007 8:32 AM | Link to this

Party guy - Mystery Man - Mr. Right now… I believe this is one guy, not three.

Yes, I have dated all three of these guys, most times, its one guy with all three qualities. I never take these guys seriously - hmmm, wait, now that I think about it, I don’t take most guys seriously.

Can any of you share what signs you may have missed when you dated someone in the past? In retrospect, should you have known they were not ready to be serious with anyone? Personally, I have difficulty in determining the difference between “missing/ignoring the signs” and trying not to assume what type of person they are based on previous experiences. Theres a fine line between being stupid and not letting your past determin your prejudice on a new situation.

How can you tell when someone you are dating is ready for something meaningful? As a woman… you can’t tell. Dudes will look you dead in your eyeball and tell you a lie. For me, I never believe what they say, only what they do. When what they say and what they do run parallel, it’s easier to start that journey to He-Might-Be-Seriousville

By JustMe

April 23, 2007 8:38 AM | Link to this

Can any of you share what signs you may have missed when you dated someone in the past? In retrospect, should you have known they were not ready to be serious with anyone?

I think the most obvious sign I missed was repeatedly taking all his phone calls out of my presence. Everyone has a right to privacy, but when you need privacy for every call, that is a red flag.

How can you tell when someone you are dating is ready for something meaningful? If they can’t be taken seriously, do you wait on them or move on?

**Sometimes a guy will tell you up front what he’s really seeking in a relationship. i.e. friendship, dating, s3x etc. But other times guys will tell you what he thinks you want to hear. If they are straddling the dating fence, I will move on.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

April 23, 2007 9:12 AM | Link to this

Morning All!! GAMan, MochaTreat, Sexione, SlimOne, SJ, Jake, Randyt, JustMe, ImAPeach404, Kinderbabe, Lady J, Lady D and the rest of the crew!!

I will lurk on this one for right now, need to stop by the blog cafe for some coffee

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 9:14 AM | Link to this

Is the blog broken already?

By IslandGirl

April 23, 2007 9:16 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone, I’ve met the Party guy and the Mystery Guy.

Party Guy It doesn’t take much time to figure out the party guy is not ready for nothing more than a ole good time.

Mystery Guy can be a bit tricky, especially if he likes to play games. He may give you just enough attention to keep you interested. When it comes down to spending quality time and getting to know this individual ….that’s where it ends. You can get caught up with this type of individual hoping that he or she will eventually open up and let you in…..just another roller coaster ride.

Time to get some work done…

By abc

April 23, 2007 9:23 AM | Link to this

Once more, with feeling: you attract what you are. How about some chick stereotypes?

By Sexione

April 23, 2007 9:24 AM | Link to this

Morning Folks!!

I agree with alot of what has been said already!

It seems that the biggest issue is the “tell them what I think they want to hear” type of dude. We (as women) can tattoo our wants/needs/intentions on our foreheads for all the world to see. And still, the liars will lie and say they want the same thing, the cheaters will cheat and say they are not. Actions speak louder than words!! And when those actions don’t line up, then you have a clear picture. And yes, there is a thin line between seeing and acting on the obvious vs. letting your past prejudge the present……although your past experiences (good and bad) are what makes you wiser to the present situations.

Now, off to a meeting……be back soon..

By The Truth

April 23, 2007 9:27 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone. I hope you all had a great weekend.

Ladies, I think all men have all those guys in them. The question is which one do you get? Guys generally don’t go on a wife shopping spree like women do for husbands. We’re more like sharks, we swim around casually until we see something we like. Just because you may not be wifie material does not mean you aren’t a good candidate for SEX. Most men pursue sexual partners as aggressively as they do wifie’s when they finally meet them so I think thats where women get confused. Some guys may actully be looking for a longer term partner, until they meet you. (This statement seems harsher than it really is)

By T-Mango

April 23, 2007 9:28 AM | Link to this

Good morning.

Yes, I dated a divorcee recently that wanted a “serious relationship” and “marriage and children.” He told me that up front. Those were the same things I wanted in my life for the long-term. Besides,I liked him…so we went for it and entered a committed relationship. Yet, I began to notice that he was quite the “Mystery Man.” Never talked about himself or his life. He’d answer only what I asked him-never volunteered information. Since he was my man, I wanted him to learn as much about me as possible and openly shared things with him in an effort to strengthen our bond.

In retrospect, his behaviors could have been a way to protect himself from rejection or hurt and putting a wall up. However, my gut feeling is that he didn’t want to show me who he really was and expose some of his deep seeded issues. Instead, he sent his representative to the relationship “Mr. Perfect.” So, when I pushed one of his buttons and caught a glimpse of the other side of the Mystery Man, realized that I had to keep it moving.

Since I had a strong male role model in my life(dad), I learned that a man’s actions should be consistent with his words. If they are not…problem.

By MusingLee

April 23, 2007 9:28 AM | Link to this

Morn’in All,

What about the “I’m single, but my Ex is still hitting it” Woman?!?!?! LOLOLOLOLOL

Musing now returns to work/lurk mode

By NCgirlfromATL

April 23, 2007 9:28 AM | Link to this

Morning all!

After a relaxing weekend at the beach, it’s back to the grind…ugh! LOL!

I’ve met/dated Mystery Man and Mr. Right Now. Mystery Man is a bigger problem b/c we often equate mysterious with sexy. Until all of that cloak and dagger becomes annoying.

Woman Baby, I thought you said we were going to the beach this weekend.

Mystery Man Well, you never know.

Woman Well, if we aren’t going, I need you to let me know, b/c otherwise I’m going to make an appointment to get my hair done.

MM You never can tell about these things, can you?

Woman Is it possible to get a straight answer from you?

MM Do you think my answers are crooked?

Woman Do you want to have a crooked nose?

MM Hmmm…Who was it that said that a crooked nose is a sign of wisdom?

Woman hauls off and smacks Mystery Man in the nose with her size 8, platform sandal.

Woman Now, about that beach trip…

By JustMe

April 23, 2007 9:40 AM | Link to this

abc Once more, with feeling: you attract what you are. So not true in all cases. It’s a well known fact thaqt men seek women who they think they can control due to what a man may deem as lonliness or lack of self esteem. So that generalization is not accurate.

Truth Some guys may actully be looking for a longer term partner, until they meet you. (This statement seems harsher than it really is) I agree, and there is nothing wrong with being honest about this when you know the person is not meeting your LTR criteria. The problem is when men/women continue the relationship until someone better suited comes along. Then when Karma deals them the same hand, they feign ignorance as to why they have to suffer through the situation.

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 9:46 AM | Link to this

MusingLee Who hasn’t let the ex still hit it? You know men feel like once they’ve ‘heisted their leg’ (territorialized the p-dussy) that yall feel it should always be yours. One of my best guy friends told me that himself. He was like the guy can go out on a sex binge with 2000 women but the moment he finds out one of his ‘prize or main chicks’ has let another dog hit, then it’s like she’s forever tarnished. What’s up with that?

By abc

April 23, 2007 9:54 AM | Link to this

If that’s true, JustMe, then yall are fishing in the wrong pond.

By The Truth

April 23, 2007 10:10 AM | Link to this

*Slimone, you wouldn’t want it any other way. How would you feel if your man said “go ahead and sleep with other guys”? You’d know it was over because he didn’t care what you did. While its not fair, life never is, men can sleep with numerous women and go play golf afterward. Who wants a woman that can do that? Answer: A trick. While physically women can handle casual sex emotionally it breaks you down. Ex: A guy finishes and leaves and you wonder whats wrong with you. He’s on top of the world and your depressed. The next guy has to deal with all this and he hasn’t even decided what he wants to do with you yet. You lost as soon as you started playing that game.

For me there used to be 2 categories a woman fit into. Sex partner or mate. Now there’s a 3rd. I choose neither of the first 2 categories. Way to much going on emotionally. I’m not a therapist.

By Wise Diva

April 23, 2007 10:18 AM | Link to this

that’s exactly what I want to know, abc. I am really curious to hear/see if I fit any. I didn’t ask my GD for female types, because I don’t date chicks.

By northener

April 23, 2007 10:18 AM | Link to this

l

By jerseyboy

April 23, 2007 10:27 AM | Link to this

to JustMe’s point, a guy may not be looking for a log term partner, until they meet you. You’re either “The One” or you’re not. Those are the only two basic categories. This determines the type of path the relationship will be taking

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 10:28 AM | Link to this

The Truth Well i don’t know of any guy that would suggest a female go out and sleep around. Also, I wasn’t implying that the girl go out and sleep with multiple guys I meant even if the chick slept with one guy, it would be an issue for the man.

By Demi

April 23, 2007 10:32 AM | Link to this

scrolling in all late’n’ish…wearing black jeans, black puma sneaks, and a black shirt/w bright a bright red Thunder Cats symbol…Letmahearyasay:

Hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

good morning to all

The Truth is sounding more and more like our former blog brother, who was forcefully, remove from here…Sup Bruh!!!

By Wise Diva

April 23, 2007 10:33 AM | Link to this

jerseyboy, wow..that really is basic! SO women really have nothing to do but wait for the guy to decide this, right? No point in worrying about it, is there?

By MusingLee

April 23, 2007 10:33 AM | Link to this

Slim It’s not a matter of who has let the Ex, instead it’s who is STILL letting the ex hit…hahahahahaha…I find it funny when Women say they’ve been single for 4-5 months or more, but the Ex is still “splitting hairs”…LOLOLOLOL…Who’s really winning here…Not only did dude get rid of her crazy’azz but he is also enjoying the occational healing properties of the p-dussy when he strikes out for the night.

By jerseyboy

April 23, 2007 10:42 AM | Link to this

Wise Diva, yeah this is a little basic, but it’s not that deep a situation. Just like it’s been said that a women knows if she’ll sleep with you or not fairly soon after meeting you, we make determinations about you based on your characteristics too. The decision is made in a short amount of time. Communicating that to you is another matter……

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 10:50 AM | Link to this

Musing well we all know that old p-dussy is easier to get than new p-dussy. lol Its a more comfortable situation to let the ex hit because he already knows what you like/dislike, and what it takes to get you ‘there’ with no judgements. When you allow a new dude to get a taste of it, you and him both have to learn each other all over again. Plus when you tell him the only way you can ‘arrive’ is if he rubs vicks on your kneecaps you don’t have to face the humiliation of his judgement. LOL

By The Truth

April 23, 2007 10:55 AM | Link to this

Slim1 1 or 100, it doesn’t matter. If you were mine and slept with someone else then your his. I’ll even help you pack up. The worst part is we both know that if your sleeping with someone else your probably not sleeping with me. Thats a problem. A big problem. I say the best guage of where your relationship is sex. Its hard to open up sexually when you’ve got major issues going on.

It seems like alot of these topics deal with trying to make relationships work that probably shouldn’t work. Like jerseyboy is saying and I think it was jake* said friday, your either it or not. We all need to be better about determining that quicker.

Wise Diva there are really only 2 types of women. Those that want to be married and those that want to be married but act like they don’t (usually caused by some kind of heartache. Do you fit 1 of these categories? LOL

By SeanJohnson

April 23, 2007 10:57 AM | Link to this

Sup Blog…Musing hit that one on the head…single for 1 or 2 years..yet the ex is hitting it…

By Wise Diva

April 23, 2007 10:58 AM | Link to this

so, about that “another matter”, LOL. Do you think that men communicate this to women in clear ways?

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 11:05 AM | Link to this

The Truth We all need to be better about determining that quicker. You’re right. We tend to take so many things into account when trying to make that decision…history, feelings, that hope that things will be better, etc. It seems women hold on more so than men do. Women react more so at that particular time but men tell you it’s over but have a more delayed reaction it seems. They feel the emotional brunt of it later.

By SeanJohnson

April 23, 2007 11:08 AM | Link to this

@Slim….i am lost…Vick Vapor rub on your knee???….i am sorry but smelling like a grandma…will ruin the mood..

By **jerseyboy**

April 23, 2007 11:09 AM | Link to this

not always, but not because we want to be deceptive. at times it feels wrong to tell you you’re not the one because you have a sixth toe on you’re left foot…lol I think we try to spare your feelings,although it probably comes off all wrong.

By abc

April 23, 2007 11:11 AM | Link to this

Kinda sounds like people are so preoccupied with getting laid that anything beyond that isn’t even under much consideration. Again, you attract what you are. Women, you can’t expect a guy to man-up if that’s all your expectations are. Men, you can’t expect much more than gold-digging trivial chicks if all you want to do is hit it. Seems to me the term TAN has fallen from the lexicon but still is widely applicable.

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 11:12 AM | Link to this

SeanJ of course i was just being sarcastic…but hey, you never know what kind of sick sadistic things people need to get off. That person might have a fetish with senior citizens. I mean what makes a man want to put on diapers and crawl around on the floor like a baby and poop on himself? LOL

By Demi

April 23, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this

jerseyboy sup

Sometime I think it’s all about the timing….you can sleep with the young lady on the first and find yourself still married to her 10 years later…or luck of the draw…a good hand in spades does happens…just a little rare when it comes to relationship…be looking at a hand loaded with weak cards; no aces, kings or queens and your only spades is a 3 of spade…have your partner sitting over there quiet as a mouse

JustMe, we’re going board.

By Wise Diva

April 23, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this

oh I never act like I don’t want to be married, I just don’t know if it is something I will do. Having a husband would be great, but I am not solid on if I will marry. Just because I want to get married doesn’t mean it’s a good idea, LOL - for me, that is.

By GA.man

April 23, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this

Well..well …well now here is something funny for the ladies to think about…since us guys fit into these groups…what about the female that says she wants a good man …then the brotha comes along but he doesn’t fit into her “perfect” grouping or her girls(who are single) say “He ain’t right for you he is not your type” Well if looking for your type has failed you before..what happens when you find Mr. Perfect but he doesnt feel your his Ms. Perfect

By Dr. Kym aka Relationship Expert

April 23, 2007 11:16 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

All the world is a stage and all the men and women merely players, they have their exits and their entrances and each man in this life plays many parts.

I have met all three male types and there should be several others too numerous to mention. Wisey he mention that each man reaches a point where he settles down and is ready to get married. I would ask of him at what point? and What is his reason that some of these settled down men cheat? The latter has endless answers and I swear I have heard them all.

Cataloging people is pretty useless. people are complex..and no man can be hooked into one particular one. Just as no woman can be hooked into one category.

By Wise Diva

April 23, 2007 11:17 AM | Link to this

jerseyboy, I totally see what you are saying, men definitely don’t want to hurt our feelings, unfortunately, it happens anyway, but keeping the hurt feelings as minimal as possible is greatly appreciated!

By Demi

April 23, 2007 11:17 AM | Link to this

SeanJ I agree…

By MusingLee

April 23, 2007 11:18 AM | Link to this

Yeah….What abc said.

By abc

April 23, 2007 11:19 AM | Link to this

“When I married Ms. Right, I didn’t know her first name was ‘Always’.”

By jerseyboy

April 23, 2007 11:20 AM | Link to this

Demi - Yeah it is about timing, but also the first impressions we make.You could sleep together on the 1st date and end up married, but there has to be something to make you get to the next level. something that allowed you to still respect who she is.

By SeanJohnson

April 23, 2007 11:25 AM | Link to this

@ Slim ur right….but for you to even think of that..lol..makes me wonder of you are picking up old cats at adult assisted living spots…u are going to get worms..lmao

By Demi

April 23, 2007 11:25 AM | Link to this

Wise Diva Just keep it real, you just want to play the fields not just sexually and simply enjoy your single-ness.

By Wise Diva

April 23, 2007 11:31 AM | Link to this

people are complex,true, I also think some behaviors in men and women are similar, as you can see, many women have dated some of these guys. I really think he was saying that IF we meet someone with this behavior, you probably shouldn’t take them too seriously, IF you want a chance at a meaningful relationship; so recognize certain things and decide accordingly if the person is on the same page as you are.

By Sexione

April 23, 2007 11:33 AM | Link to this

Aren’t we all tired of “women are this” and “men are that”!!! It’s like any time the topic is about men, they get their man panties all in a knot and start bashing the women. Any time the topic is all about women, then the men get mad when the women post about men (hellz most of us only date men, so we can’t tell you of experiences about dating other women).

Kinda sounds like people are so preoccupied with getting laid that anything beyond that isn’t even under much consideration. Women, you can’t expect a guy to man-up if that’s all your expectations are. Men, you can’t expect much more than gold-digging trivial chicks if all you want to do is hit it. Well said!!!

Now I’m going to lunch!!! getting on my nerves with all of this bullish…..

By Wise Diva

April 23, 2007 11:33 AM | Link to this

I am going to be happy regardless Demi, having someone as a life partner would just enhance my life even more. I am enjoying single-ness but definitely I have moments when I want someone special too.

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 11:34 AM | Link to this

SeanJ hardy har har. :-) Nah, not hanging out at the assisted living joints because if there is a huge age gap between me and a guy i’m dating, I just keep thinking dirty old man, dirty old man in my head and Lawd knows I don’t want worms…UGGGHHHH!

By LISA

April 23, 2007 11:36 AM | Link to this

is somebody taking the dating blog too seriously? Sexione, you may need to step away for a few days, it’s not THAT serious, is it?

and if you are truly tired, why are you even reading and commenting every week?

By T-Mango

April 23, 2007 11:37 AM | Link to this

Well if looking for your type has failed you before..what happens when you find Mr. Perfect but he doesnt feel your his Ms. Perfect

@GA Man-No such thing as a perfect person. We’re all flawed. It’s just a matter of how flawed a person is. What matters is if you and that person are in sync and can rock with each other.

To your question: I don’t think this pairing will work. Some women could choose to put the time/enery in to try to prove that she is the one for him. However, what sense would that make if he has already determined that she’s not Ms. Perfect, not the one. Waste of time in my opinion.

As far as “the girlz”…I think there have to be boundaries here. Some women really have your back and want what is best for you. Others get into your ear because misery loves company. Bottom line is your life, your decision. If he is wrong for you then find it out for yourself. Don’t let your girlz steer your decision one way or another or inflict doubt. See for yourself. AND sometimes you just have to keep sisters of our your business period and keep on steppin’-

By Demi

April 23, 2007 11:39 AM | Link to this

but keeping the hurt feelings as minimal as possible is greatly appreciated!

By being honest…women are not weak as men seem to think…go and watch a few natural child births

something that allowed you to still respect who she is.

That’s a measure of how much I respect myself and my own maturity on my part, not hers…I’ll marry a former stripper in a heartbeat if she’s right for me.

By amy

April 23, 2007 11:39 AM | Link to this

what about the “fake church guy?”You know the guy who goes to New Birth,World changes,Mega fest,bible study,etc. Pretending to be so religious,but really are players & womanizers preying on the ladies at church! This includes the pastors,asst. pastors,and decons.

By Atl Lady

April 23, 2007 11:40 AM | Link to this

The Truth I love it that you bring the truth to the relationship challenged. I have dated and observed ALL of the men on this list. I know two that are actually roommates. One is Mr. Right Now and the other one is the Mystery Guy. It makes for an interesting mix when they hang out togther. I think it depends on what stage they are in their life as well. I remember that a guy once told me that most men are ready to settle down after the 28 year mark. They’ve used their teens and early twenties to sow their wild oates and figure out what type of woman they want and what they want to do in their careers. Sounded like the truth to me, but we all know that love and happiness can be fickle creatures.

By The Truth

April 23, 2007 11:40 AM | Link to this

ABC what does TAN mean? Sorry man but I’m slow.

Dr. Kim, having been married to a wonderful woman and having cheated (actually I never stopped) I will say it has nothing to do with you. It is an individual decision to follow your desires. I never wanted to hurt my wife but I never wanted to be monogamous either. I love to win, to conquer. Most guys on here know the feeling of having some woman on all fours there for the slaying. Its an addiction like crack. I never outgrew that addiction but my fear helped me overcome my addiction. I’m getting to the point where I’m scared of sex. The diseases are outrageous (they have a super strain of gonorhea now) and my luck isn’t good enough to test the market. A buddy of mine said he had 2 women “inform” him of their diseases right before the act ( HPV and herpes). Luckily they told him 1st. I guess you would call me a conditional monogamist.

Demi are you the blog police handing out citations? I’m not afraid of getting kicked out of here. I just didn’t know my responses had to be approved by you, bruh.

By melo

April 23, 2007 11:40 AM | Link to this

I am not he mystery guy nor the party guy. I am the straight shooter.All i am looking for is friendship with benefits!Just a mature 2-way.

By Got that?

April 23, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this

oh I never act like I don’t want to be married, I just don’t know if it is something I will do. Having a husband would be great, but I am not solid on if I will marry. Just because I want to get married doesn’t mean it’s a good idea, LOL - for me, that is.

You couldn’t have stated the problem more clearly. If you don’t know what you want, you don’t know that you are attracting just that. Men who don’t know what they want. When you are clear and honest with yourself first, that will be clear to everyone else. The onus is on you to know yourself and be clear about what it is you want. Otherwise, you’ll get things that don’t make sense to you until you understand that you’re being the same way they are. It’s always easier to see what’s not working for someone else, but we don’t see how that same thing applies equally to ourselves. We’re blinded by our own bs.

By Officer Musirello

April 23, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this

amy you have been placed under blog witness protection program…Cause you about to start some isshh up in here.

Musing hands amy a bullet proof bra and panty set with matching handbag.

By Sexione

April 23, 2007 11:47 AM | Link to this

LISA because that is my choice…..and when it’s not ridiculous, we have very insightful comments that help to close the great divide. And why are you concerned about my opinion????

Good point amy!!!

By For Real

April 23, 2007 11:53 AM | Link to this

What up Blog Fam!!!!

Wise I’m sorry but your boy likes to hear himself talk. He gets an audience from women b/c he has convinced yall that he giving you some inside information. Wrong…. Like Truth said men pick a direction and go. We never walk out the door thinking if we will find Miss Right or a SO. Men treat dating like the man on the beach with the metal detector. You set it for the metal that you want and start walking.

Musing Can you help me out with this?????

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

April 23, 2007 11:53 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All:

I have a question. Is it okay to play the field while looking for LTR? I mean, if you are looking for LTR and you realize that the person that you are with currently isn’t for you, then why do you keep that person hanging on until the real LTR decides to show up? I know this sounds funny, but really now, are we that desperate to have sex/mate in our lives that we just can’t be single between partners? Why string the other person along at all? Just let them know that they are not what you are looking for. Am I right or wrong?

By MusingLee

April 23, 2007 11:54 AM | Link to this

Ohhhhhhhh LISA are you gonna take that from Sexi…I also heard Sexi say that you have a wooden foot and walk like this ↑↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↑↓

By melo

April 23, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this

The blog is hot today, and i’m busy.Dang!!!

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this

Uh-oh, looks like it’s about to get a little heated in here already. Guess I’ll get started early on something to lighten the mood

Suggested Auto-Replies for being out-of-the-office

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 11:59 AM | Link to this

Musing LOL, why you instigating? Men always sit around waiting for chicks to fight hoping that they get a flash of a boob, a camel toe, or something. LOL!

By Lady Dark w/Dimples

April 23, 2007 12:00 PM | Link to this

Good Afternoon Everyone!!

Don’t go see Grindhouse!

I dated Mr. Party guy and it was complete drama. We would break up, get back together…only to break up again. He said that when he looked at me he saw me in a white dress, but he wasn’t ready for marriage. He wanted to mob the streets. We’re still really good friends today (prolly because he moved at the end of our relationship) but dating Mr. Party is an emotional nightmare.

amy will call that guy Mr. False Prophet

By Dr. Kym aka Relationship Expert

April 23, 2007 12:00 PM | Link to this

Truth So does that mean you were never really ready to settle down?

By MusingLee

April 23, 2007 12:02 PM | Link to this

Dude enters a bar with a new device strapped to his arm…walks right up to chick

Chick: Heyyyy what’s this on your arm it looks cool.

Dude: Oh, this is my “Woman Detector”.

Chick: How does it work?

Dude: Well you set the knob for the kind of chick you want and it beeps when you find her.

Chick: Is it beeping now?!?!

Dude: Yep, sure is baby.

Chick: So what kind of Woman would I be then.

Dude: Well it’s set for “O’Patrol”.

Dude is beaten over the head with Patron bottle

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 12:03 PM | Link to this

cont’d

By abc

April 23, 2007 12:03 PM | Link to this

re: okay to play the field while looking for LTR, or marriage (esp. the latter): consider that while you play the field (in light of today’s emphasis on sex — but how is that different from any other day?), that what you’re doing is screwing a bunch of other women’s future husbands. Same for your future husband — all those other chicks are screwing your future husband. Ah, no matter, you might say? Perhaps so. Personally, the only sexual history that concerns me is the one personally between me and my girl, our prior histories concern me somewhere between not much and not at all. Just the same, the point holds true.

By NCgirlfromATL

April 23, 2007 12:04 PM | Link to this

InstigatorMusingLee sits back on the bleachers with a bucket of popcorn, an icy cold beer and a camera at the ready to catch the girl-fight about to jump off…

now where is RumbleAnnouncerGaMan?

LOL!

Chillax folks, it’s Monday. We’ve got alllll week to get riled up!

blog hugs!

By T-Mango

April 23, 2007 12:04 PM | Link to this

@Amy I won’t call out anyone’s church home, but you’re right “Mr./Ms. Bible Thumper” ia another group worthy of mention. Does not matter if they attend a megachurch or the “Mount Moriah Blessed Art Thou Shekinah Glory Tabernacle of Hold My Mule”… quote scripture, testify and then try to lay hands on you. My lawd-

By Demi

April 23, 2007 12:08 PM | Link to this

The Truth, the brother I am speaking of was a well respected cat on here. I really enjoy his posting and so did others. Well you are the second coming…The blog police is Officer Musirello, who remove all my capes and tights I use to fly around this blog last year…due to lack of super hero license he said.

Wise that good to hear…no more trick questions, you know were you stand, LOL

Atl Lady how are you I did not get the feeling until I hit 27…Now at age 28, I am willing to wait before hitting…My 1 and 1/2 date’em then hit’em days are over for the most part.

now singing: It’s the end of the world as we know it….

By MusingLee

April 23, 2007 12:10 PM | Link to this

Slim I’ll take 3 boobs and a side of camel toe please.

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 12:10 PM | Link to this

Lady D Mr. False Prophet That’s a good name. LOL

T-Mango you’re hilarious.

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

April 23, 2007 12:12 PM | Link to this

@ABC So you are trying to say that until you make it official verbally then you don’t care that while she is quote-unquote “dating” you she is free to get at as many men as she wants to? You don’t care that she may be dating you and another guy at the same time trying to see which one she may hang onto? Ok, cool.

By The Truth

April 23, 2007 12:16 PM | Link to this

Dr I wouldn’t necessarily say I wasn’t ready but I had no idea what it meant (I was in my 20’s). I really did love my ex but it wasn’t enough to stop me. The sad part is she really was a great wife. She took great care of me. We talked about it years later and she understood what I was going through. She has remarried and now she wants to get out there and experience life.

How many women out there have cheated on a mate?

Hold on, let me get my popcarn ready. lol

By Wise Diva

April 23, 2007 12:18 PM | Link to this

don’t most men love to hear themselves talk? LOL. Just kidding, For Real. You could be right, it’s just dialogue though, no harm in discussing it, is there?

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 12:20 PM | Link to this

Musing well we only offer boobs in pairs of two. I am not able to split up the pack. You can however, order to pairs and scalp off the 4th boob. But beware that it’s illegal to scalp boobs within 30 feet of the boobshop. Also, we offer camel toes in 3 different sizes:

For our third size camel toe, I would suggest first being measured by one of our trained professionals to see if you qualify for that type.

By abc

April 23, 2007 12:21 PM | Link to this

Mochalatte, not exactly.

If I was dating a chick and she has several other people she dates, and is still open to finding more prospects, I’m going to assume she’s a slut. OK, harlot, that sounds a bit less antagonistic. I’m not after any harlots, I’ll be out of there.

If there was another competitor, and neither arena had become sexual for her yet, and she was one I had a fierce interest in, sure, I’d compete. For awhile, at least. If she was sexually active with someone else, I’d bail, period.

By Biff

April 23, 2007 12:22 PM | Link to this

The guy you talked to was giving you a line, its all B.S.

Guys just want hot women unless they are a metrosexual type guy.

By The Truth

April 23, 2007 12:23 PM | Link to this

Demi I apologize for jumpin the gun. I didn’t get my 8 hrs last night and I’m a little testy. LOL Sorry

ABC what is tan?

By Wise Diva

April 23, 2007 12:27 PM | Link to this

Biff, squash the offensive terms, please.

By GA.man

April 23, 2007 12:31 PM | Link to this

In this corner….telling folks like the isssshhhh really is…….Sexione with a record of 27-1-2

In this corner…..Lisa I just started some ishhhhh with a record of 10-1-1

Let’sssss get readyyyyy to rumblllllleeeeeeeeee

I want a clean fight and dont forget to tear some shirts

By Dr. Kym aka Relationship Expert

April 23, 2007 12:32 PM | Link to this

Truth I was just asking because I dated married men at one time so I heard all kinds of stories and cover ups. But you are right it is important to know yourself before you can begin to know anyone.

Wisey we talked at one time about committment phobia..I believe-in my case anyway- why some women dont desire to get married. Runaway bride syndrome maybe..speaking of which where is handy dandy Randy?

By Lady Dark w/Dimples

April 23, 2007 12:36 PM | Link to this

abc how would you know if she was sexually active with the others?

truth I cheated on a boyfriend in college…only once in the eight years we were together….and that was just kissing and making out…but still cheating!

He forgave me…we moved on from that incident!

By snazzyone

April 23, 2007 12:37 PM | Link to this

So listen listen to the guy if his actions are different from his words and its not what you want walk away. learn from your mistakes in the past with relationships, get to know yourself, love yourself and your own company and it will all be aiighttt….If it walks like a duck, you will get F&*^%$. If it barks like a dog its prolly a dog…

By snazzyone

April 23, 2007 12:39 PM | Link to this

When I am dating I date, i don’t sleep around unless I am in a relationship or one on one with a man. Dating multiple people until I and the other person I would like to get serious wih decide we want to be exclusive, otherwise we both can date multiple people and its okay with me, Dating does not equate to sex with everyone….

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

April 23, 2007 12:44 PM | Link to this

ABC Ok, so I understand where you are coming from, but another question if you don’t mind? Would you give her the same courtesy if the shoe was on the other foot? Would you hit both prospects and expect her to understand or would you weigh your options to let her battle royale her way into your heart without taking it to a sexual level with either prospect? I just like to get an accurate picture. Because I want to know why it is acceptable for a man to do one thing but if a woman was to do this same thing she is a labeled as a “slut” or less antagonistic word “Harlot”.

And please don’t believe that I am picking on you. You were just brave enough to answer the question.

By QueenB

April 23, 2007 1:01 PM | Link to this

Dr. Kym,

Are u married?

By The Truth

April 23, 2007 1:02 PM | Link to this

Mocha I would like to step in here for a sec, then abc can finish. I think men feel if a woman lets everyone have her she’s not special, to herself. Women tell themselves they can go out and play and then when they meet mr right they’ll change. We know better. If you had fun while you were out there as soon as it gets rough with mr right your going back to where it was fun. It simple. You simply have to decide if you want to be someones wife or a good lay. Then act accordingly. And no its not fair. Accept it and move forward. Every guy on this blog has met a woman that has been run through and left to clean up. She may be an otherwise great woman but she didn’t respect herself. Its like saying he’s a nice guy except for the mass murder thing.

LDD you go over my knee. Between 2 cheaters, isn’t it a thrill? LMAO

Dr I may have run Randy off last week. I apologize.

By Island Girl

April 23, 2007 1:05 PM | Link to this

SlimOne..you’re off the chain today.

I’m catching up on the reading…you guys are being bad…ABC, Truth….

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

April 23, 2007 1:05 PM | Link to this

@ LDD I’m assuming that he believes that she would tell him.

@ ABC No, I don’t actually sleep with more than one person at a time, I believe in sleeping with one person and that is the person I’m dating. I don’t date more than one person at a time, causes for too much confusion.

@ snazzyone You just go! That’s the right idea to have regarding sleeping with your mate or partner and only them. I can dig that.

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

April 23, 2007 1:11 PM | Link to this

@ The Truth Double standards shouldn’t exist. I’m only asking the question to see how people tend to answer. I think it’s a shame when the double standard takes place. You want me to accept you as you are, but for the same doesn’t apply to me. It’s okay for a man to sleep around while he’s looking for LTR, but for a woman you are less than worthy. I think that’s something I will never ever be able to understand and for people who think that way, we let’s just say there is a special place in my heart and mind that you reside…

But of course since you are not speaking for the entire blog fam, I’ll still be waiting for other comments and posts until it’s time for me to dip!

By Sexione

April 23, 2007 1:18 PM | Link to this

Okay, back from lunch, trying to catch up (I think)…

Slim lololol

Musing don’t make me send OfficerMusirello to lock you up!! lol

By jerseyboy

April 23, 2007 1:21 PM | Link to this

Mocha the double standard exists, but that’s not our fault. That’s just the way it is. No man wants a woman on his arm who he knows has been run through. It’s embarrassing to think 100 dudes passed her around and you wifed her.It just doesn’t seem that women historically have had that mental block.

By Island Girl

April 23, 2007 1:22 PM | Link to this

@ABC, If a lady is dating multiple people but no sex is involved…do you still consider her a “slut” or “harlot”?

By Dr. Kym aka Relationship Expert

April 23, 2007 1:23 PM | Link to this

If you had fun while you were out there as soon as it gets rough with mr right your going back to where it was fun. It simple. You simply have to decide if you want to be someones wife or a good lay. Change this statement some and it applies to men too.

MLB say what you want but sex leaves a trail even behind you. You may say oh no she was just notch number one of 200 on your belt but you remember those notches maybe not right after or even a year after or two.

But you will remember that notch when you look into the eyes of your daughter or niece or sister as she relays to you the tale of some guy who treated her badly. I think a few guys here have daughters and they all say…not my baby girl.. I am going to train my daughter to look out for guys like me. Which means 9/10 she will bring home a guy just like you. An when you go to raise the warning flag she will ignore you because you are just so out of touch.

By Got that?

April 23, 2007 1:24 PM | Link to this

Mocha, there’s no double-standard actually. It’s just that women chase after the dogs. That’s the term for men who sleep with anything and everything that moves or breathes. There are men like that, because there are women willingly giving it up to them. Just like there are women who aren’t polyamorous, there are a lot of men who don’t sleep with every women who offers it to them. Don’t fall in the trap of over-generalization.

By MochaTreat07

April 23, 2007 1:25 PM | Link to this

Good afternoon Slim, GAman, Sexione, Foots, Justme, Kinder, Musing, Demi, NC, MO, QC, Raqi, Randy, Jake, Wise, Dr. Kym SeanJ and crew

How is everyone doing today?

I have dated all three of the guys mentioned above (party, mystery and mr right now).

By Dr. Kym aka Relationship Expert

April 23, 2007 1:26 PM | Link to this

Queen B no I am not married but I have had the offer once or twice.

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 1:27 PM | Link to this

* Mochalatte* I agree the whole double standard thing infuriates me at times. It’s like because a person has a penis, that he can do what he wants and not be held to the same guidelines and/or name calling as if a person with a female body part would. Next thing is dating multiple folks does not mean being intimately involved with all of them. I mean really folks….So if my list of male friends outweigh the list of female friends does that red flad me as a harlot also, even when we’re just friends?

By MochaTreat07

April 23, 2007 1:27 PM | Link to this

GAman need a new name…do you have any suggestions….I leave for a little while and my identity has been stolen!!

By For Real

April 23, 2007 1:29 PM | Link to this

For Real with camera phone in hand Did somebody say boobies???

Ok blog ladies stop all this lying about I don’t sleep around except with the one I am dating ish. Somebody is having sex with Demi, Jake, GA.man, Musing (well maybe not Musing “Scrabble” Lee), SJ, *abcand Truth

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

April 23, 2007 1:30 PM | Link to this

Thanks @ Everyone that commented today. Based on the topic and the way the conversation was turning I just had to ask the question. I’ll be in Lurkesville later, but for now… I’m out.

By DuShawn

April 23, 2007 1:32 PM | Link to this

*”If I was dating a chick and she has several other people she dates….. I’m going to assume she’s a slut. I disagree, if you don’t have an agreement to date one another exclusively, a female can date as many people as she wants. That doesn’t make her a slut. Furthermore, I don’t think it shows a lack of self respect if a woman chooses to be sexually active with multiple partners. If I’m just dating a female and it evolves into sex, I’m still under the assumption that she is seeing other people until told other wise. Consequently, I won’t pop up around her crib unannounced nor would I get bent out of shape if I wanted to go out with her and she had a prior commitment. I would expect that same respect.

By For Real

April 23, 2007 1:33 PM | Link to this

Dr.Kym That is just plain wrong of you. Why you got to go there???? Awwwww Dayum not my baby gurl* Oh that’s right I don’t have a daughter WHEW…

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 1:35 PM | Link to this

For Real heyyy buddy. Well…there was this one time in band camp…LOL!

By Demi

April 23, 2007 1:35 PM | Link to this

The Truth no problem bruh, as for RandyT, it’s the end of the school year madness for him…so he’s out partying

By MusingLee

April 23, 2007 1:38 PM | Link to this

For Real…LOLOLOLOL…Man Imma get you….hahahahahahaha

MochaTreat and Mocha w/extra CreamCheese…how about you two fight it out…The first Woman to expose the boobs of the other wins the name MochaBoob1 the loser gets Mochaboob2……Lets Get It On!

Musing now whips out camera phone, broadcasting live to Youtube.

By Sexione

April 23, 2007 1:38 PM | Link to this

ForReal So you think that all women are sleeping (sexing) some man? Just need clarification…

As for the double standard, who cares?!!!!! If it some dudes twisted mind he thinks that he can do and it’s alright, and if a woman does then she’s a &%$, then that’s his problem, and rest assured ladies, he isn’t the one for you!! As far as what *society thinks, again, who cares?!!!!

Kym guurrlll, where can I sign your 1:23 with my platinum pen?!!!

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 1:38 PM | Link to this

Dr Kym you do have a point there. I know this guy that was a self-proclaimed slut sleeze bucket. Now he has 5 daughters…not one son. Talking about God having a sense of humor. lol

By Randyt (aka "Been there, Done that, got a closet FULL of t-shirts)

April 23, 2007 1:40 PM | Link to this

Hi Kym and All

I took Friday off and catching up at work today. Had an awesome weekend and sort of lurking today while I recover.

By MusingLee

April 23, 2007 1:43 PM | Link to this

Taking Slim’s platinum pen and football kicking it down the hallway

By JustMe

April 23, 2007 1:45 PM | Link to this

abc /MochaLatte w/Extra Cream I had to read all the way to the end to see how abc responded. ^5 abc I agree with your view; as a woman, only 1 guy getting the cookies at a time.

I’ve not met many guys who are willing to admit that they are dating other women. What’s up with that? Personally I think that men don’t want women to know that they are easy lays, so the deny the existence of any other women in their life. they think the it’s been so long line will get them there faster. Such is not the case with many women.

Someone commented that women/men know shortly after meeting of they want to sleep with the other person. That used to hold true, but today with so many STD’s in the game, I don’t come to that decision based on physical attraction alone. If I can not be stimulated mentally and emotionally, then physical stimulation is not an option.

By Linguist

April 23, 2007 1:45 PM | Link to this

Hey Blog Fam I’ll be lurking for most of the day… I got a side gig going on… It’s selling T-shirts (a la RandyT)… I sold one last week to SJ, and now I see Truth needs one too… so what size you need honey?? sma-med, large or Xtra large to go with those generalizations you’ve been trying to spoon feed us (women)…. ??????????

Next up in the ring after Sexione and Lisa…. is Ling.. getting ready to put Truth in a sleeper hold!

By SlimOne

April 23, 2007 1:47 PM | Link to this

SlimOne now entering announcer’s box turning on the device that enables all use of cell phones, cameras, camcorders during the fight. For Real and Musing now looking disappointed and confused by the black screen on their cellulars.

By Demi

April 23, 2007 1:50 PM | Link to this

You know…I am tired of folks stealing my blog platinum pen.

now kicking Musing’s busted civic for kicking my platinum pen

By Sexione

April 23, 2007 1:51 PM | Link to this

Musing that’s my pen, now give it back!!! And stop trying to see our boobies…..just a horny lil toad!!* lol

And remember men, it doesn’t have to be your daughter…..it could be your sister, niece, future step-daughter, etc…….we as adults should be trying to lead by example…for our young men and women.

By For Real

April 23, 2007 1:52 PM | Link to this

Slim Allow me to finish that statement for you One time at band camp I stuck a flute ……

Musing Just funnin with bruh

Sexione If a women is dating she is sleeping (sexing) with someone (including herself)..

By QueDogTeaching