By QC

May 2, 2007 8:23 AM | Link to this

Happy Hump Day Bloggers, enjoy!

By kinderbabe

May 2, 2007 8:33 AM | Link to this

hey qc

i think it’s possible to get back together after years..especially if it’s someone from your childhood. people change tremendously in 10 years plus. even five years can make a difference. bella since you seem to know this gentleman fairly well and have sustained a good friendship, it would be worth exploring the possibilities of a romance. good luck!:)

By Suga&Spice

May 2, 2007 8:34 AM | Link to this

Morning Folks!

By SlimOne

May 2, 2007 8:38 AM | Link to this

Morning All my fellow blogger friends

No I haven’t run into an ex and felt that if we were to give it another chance, that we’d be perfect for each other. I am distant friends with almost all of my ex’s. There is one ex that was my HS Sweetheart and he is totally different from how he was then. I’m comfortable with the fact that we broke up. He isn’t necessarily bad off now or anything like that, but he’s just into a different world than i am.

Yes I feel a time span of years and maturity can change people enough to consider dating them again. Experiences and maturity help people to grow. BUT I would take my time before jumping back into the fire with that person just to ensure that the old person I broke up with wasn’t just lurking under the surface.

By Randyt (aka "Been there, Done that, got a closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 2, 2007 8:45 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Bella and All

I look forward to reading the posts today.

Have you had a successful relationship with someone you had already dated years before?

No. Other than (and I am embarrassed to admit this) an occasional desire of hooking up with one long enough to get some ‘real or imagined debt’ paid (read: certain physical enjoyments that the next guy got that I did not), no. Is that a reason to go back, no way (and again I repeat, I am not proud of this feeling). None even began to be anything like a new relationship.

are people capable of drastic relational change much later in life as well?

Ladies more experienced than I am have said that men never really change. They may act more charming, and say things much better, but sooner or later the real person comes back, i.e. slob then, slob now, jealous then, jealous now, angry then, angry now, the lazy inconsiderate b@$tard they were before, etc. Personally I choose to believe that people can, I did. I was a volcano, always ready to erupt, but I changed…and people who knew me, i.e. ex-wife, children, friends, etc., know the new me is the real me now…but I feel the ‘tug’ of the old me frequently.

Who knows?

By MusingLee

May 2, 2007 8:52 AM | Link to this

Morn’in All,

Bella I find that it is best to leave Ex’s in the past…You’ll quickly find that they aren’t as changed as you thought…It kind’of hard trying to date chicken salad when you know it used to be chicken ishh…LOLOLOLOLOL

By Sexione

May 2, 2007 8:56 AM | Link to this

Happy Hump Day Everybody!

Musing good advice…..It kind’of hard trying to date chicken salad when you know it used to be chicken ishh lol

By SlimOne

May 2, 2007 8:57 AM | Link to this

Musing getting started early I see. Slim now wondering what came first, the chicken ish or the chicken salad

By Chad's girl

May 2, 2007 9:01 AM | Link to this

Go for it, get the buddy and the booty

By Lady Dark w/Dimples

May 2, 2007 9:11 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Everyone

No, I haven’t ran into an EX and wanted to date them again. However, I would be open to the possibility if I was single again and they were to. I think it depends on what went wrong in the relationship. If the reason for the breakup puts a cloud around the character of a person then it would be hard for me to want to go back. But if the differences were a matter of where I was at that time in my life I can be open…sometimes you meet the right person at the wrong time

I have to get that NeYo cd

By T-Mango

May 2, 2007 9:16 AM | Link to this

Good morning.

I do believe that people can change. I’ve only given one of my ex’s a second chance. Things were a little better the 2nd time around for us, but we didn’t work out. We were still two different people.Too different for each other.

No..I never kicked myself for breaking up with someone who turned out great later in life. As they say, people come into your life for a reason, season, or a lifetime. Maybe breaking up with that person was one of the things that got the person or yourself to look within and straighten out some things… Releasing that person from your life or being released may have been a catalyst for some needed growth and change-

By abc

May 2, 2007 9:18 AM | Link to this

She broke up with me in 1977, I found her again last year. We’re essentially the same people, but inevitably life will affect a person for good and/or ill. In a way I’m glad it’s worked out this way. Few people my age get second chances like this!

By NCgirlfromATL

May 2, 2007 9:24 AM | Link to this

Good Morn-ting Bloggers!

I agree with Musing on this one. I generally believe that people don’t change that much, unless there has been some traumatic event in their lives that caused them to make fundamental value changes. Sure, I think people definitely take different paths throughout life, but a the core, I don’t think people really change unless they really want to, and put forth a major effort to do so. That’s why I don’t get back w/ exes. We became exes for a good reason, and most likely, that reason still remains. We can certainly be friends, but a relationship would be same ish, different day as far as I’m concerned.

By Island Girl

May 2, 2007 9:32 AM | Link to this

Good Morning everyone

I need coffee…. Who’s tending to the blog café?

Have you ever run into an ex years later to find that they are a completely different person?

Yes, I did get back with an ex once…and quickly realized that sht is as sht does. It still sticks….

It is certainly possible for people to change, but when it comes to hooking back up with the ex…I say leave it in the past. After spending time with the individual you may be reminded of the reason(s) why the relationship did not work in the past. At that point, you may have to deal with a load of regrets.

By Sexione

May 2, 2007 9:33 AM | Link to this

abc I thought about you and your SO when I read the topic. Good for you two!!

Public service announcement…

NO GAS…On May 15th 2007

Don’t pump gas on may 15th ..in April 1997, there was a “gas out” conducted nationwide in protest of gas prices. Gasoline prices dropped 30 cents a gallon overnight.

On May 15th 2007, all internet users are to not go to a gas station in protest of high gas prices. Gas is now over $3.00 a gallon in most places. There are 73,000,000+ American members currently on the internet network, and the average car takes about 30 to 50 dollars to fill up. If all users did not go to the pump on the 15th, it would take $2,292,000,000.00 (that’s almost 3 BILLION) out of the oil companys pockets for just one day, so please do not go to the gas station on May 15th and lets try t o put a dent in the Middle Eastern oil industry for at least one day. Thank you!!

By whoa

May 2, 2007 9:44 AM | Link to this

1977?? goodgawdalmighty.

By Bella

May 2, 2007 9:47 AM | Link to this

Good morning, everyone!

I agree with you, Lady Dark w/Dimples! I think it does depend on what was wrong in the relationship. I once ran back into an ex, and we tried to date again 4 years later, but his inability to treat me well was once again an issue.

But I do think if your original problems were small, and if you ended on a friendly note, then it could be possible to rekindle something.

Additional blog question: Are you friendly or not-so-friendly with most of your exes?

By SeanJohnson

May 2, 2007 9:49 AM | Link to this

Sup Blog..depends the reason you broke up and was it bitter or not…Me..myself i think i could get back with an ex..I have never experienced a BAD break up..They were more of us not being at the same place at the same time or wanting the same thing in the relationship…So i can definately see me and an ex coming back together later in life. Question do you think you are more likely/prone to get back with an ex if you have a kids together?

By SmileyC

May 2, 2007 9:57 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All

Well for the most part I have gotten back with an ex!! My ex that I was engaged to we dated for 3.5 yrs off and on, I say off and on b/c the first time I broke up with him was b/c I wasn’t sure I could do the long distance thing (tried it before and it was hard). He had went to Italy and I was in California so it wouldn’t be very often we would get to see one another. We got back together a little later b/c we thought we could do it, then he was going to Afghanistan and he didn’t think I should wait for him so we broke up again…then eventually we got back together…and after we were engaged and I didn’t think things would work and he wasn’t too sure he was really ready for marriage…I ended our relationship this time for good; for good b/c I don’t want us to keep going back and forth. We are good friends now. My current SO we broke up the first time we were together b/c of my ex-fiancé I had to get him out of my system…so now we are back together.

My best friend is a male, that I have known for almost 10yrs myself and we tried to date one another in the past but it just felt real awkward…so I don’t think we will ever cross that path again. Far as any other exes NO I wouldn’t give them another shot, I broke up with them for a reason…However, I believe a person can change for the better. I suggest five years as a timeline to know if they really have changed! Sometimes, they show you the side that you want to see and then when they get you under their wing again there true colors come creeping out again…lol

By Qsgirl

May 2, 2007 9:58 AM | Link to this

Everyone seems to have a valid point in some sense or another. People change if they want to change. Some people don’t realize they are the azzes they are, so they stay the same, and continue to believe there is something wrong with everyone else. My SO and I have been together off and on for the past 15yrs. I know, that’s a long time, but he’s changed for the better. He wouldn’t do anything on my time or when I pushed, so I bounced and dated other people. Maybe nothing worked out because we are suppossed to be together, it certainly wasn’t for lack of trying though!

Hello All

By Sexione

May 2, 2007 10:00 AM | Link to this

I agree with LDD too. It would definitely depend on the reason(s) you broke up. And IMO, it would not have to be a bitter break up to make me not want to go back down that road.

do you think you are more likely/prone to get back with an ex if you have a kids together? For me, no! And again, this wasn’t a bitter breakup, I just know that we are not that compatible enough for that.

By Lady Dark w/Dimples

May 2, 2007 10:01 AM | Link to this

Bella I am friendly with most of my exes…there was only one bad breakup, but we’re very cordial when we see each other.

SeanJ Since I don’t have any kids, but dating a man who does. It’s a constant question in the back of my mind. This past weekend my SO went home and his EX and son were there. It was the first time that the little one was able to meet his family and I wondered if the family environment would put thoughts in their heads that they should be a family.

By SmileyC

May 2, 2007 10:02 AM | Link to this

Are you friendly or not-so-friendly with most of your exes?

For the most part I am friendly with my exes…my current SO doesn’t like that too much…esp with me talking to my ex-fiance…since he was the reason we broke up before…

I’m just a friendly person and my exes call or email me every once in awhile just to see how things are going…

By Museq

May 2, 2007 10:06 AM | Link to this

Hell, at this point, ANYTHING is possible…..

By Randyt (aka "Been there, Done that, got a closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 2, 2007 10:07 AM | Link to this

Bella

Are you friendly or not-so-friendly with most of your exes?

Okay, but it took time. There are certain boundaries that we do not cross in our conversations and encounters that are just understood. The subject of the various breakups are almost never mentioned. The only exception to that was a chance encounter with an ex-flame last year. There was always an extreme amount of chemistry there before, and if anything it had grown. The discussion occurred when I told her I chose not go there again. Trust takes a long time to grow and can be wiped out in an instant…and the trust was no longer there.

By SlimOne

May 2, 2007 10:07 AM | Link to this

SeanJ I don’t have any kids but from hearing of other folks experiences, it’s something about having a child with someone that makes you want things to workout. That isn’t always the case though.

By Will C.

May 2, 2007 10:09 AM | Link to this

I thing you should give him a second chance. It takes guys longer to mature and develop into men and it sounds like this was the case. Young fella probably needed a few years to sew his wild oats. You’re better off for allowing him to experience whatever is was because it was a transition period for both of you. Good luck with the journey and please keep us updated with your progress.

Rich Guys Trophy Wife Hot Girls

By Jake

May 2, 2007 10:10 AM | Link to this

What up:

I thinkit is possible if things ended on fairly good terms. I especially believe in the cases of people trasitioning into adulthood. I know I am a much better person than I was at 23-27, so it can happen. Life experiences can transform anyone! If both are agreeable to a second act, go for it.

By Cassie

May 2, 2007 10:12 AM | Link to this

Whoa I am pseudo friendly with all my exs. I figure that I need to keep the karma train on the tracks, and that it’s better for me to take the high road and remain friends with people.

Would I date any of them again? Maybe my one little lost love from highschool, but I wouldn’t give the rest of them a second class. If it didn’t work then, it’s not gonna work now. Besides…we all carry baggage from those failed relationships…who’s to say that all that ish won’t rise to the top again?

By SmileyC

May 2, 2007 10:17 AM | Link to this

SeanJ

I have a child with someone and I don’t ever think we will cross that path of having a relationship again…he is a ladies man for sure and I would never be able to fully trust him…the thought does come b/c you would want to be a family, etc.

By All my ex's live in TX

May 2, 2007 10:26 AM | Link to this

Are we discussing ex’s as in spouses, or simply ex f******* buddies? There is a big difference.

By SeanJohnson

May 2, 2007 10:26 AM | Link to this

@ DarkDimples….did you talk to your SO about how you felt?

@ Slim…you are right..reason i asked that question is because..having a kid with someone changes the dynamics of breaking up and future dating as pointed out in Dimples post…you can break up but always have ties..u may be prone to get back together more readily if kids were not involved…and then you have how that tie affects your current or future relationship like Dimples pointed out.

By all my ex's live in TX

May 2, 2007 10:29 AM | Link to this

“Biff”, How exactly do you straighten out a lesbian??

By Cassie

May 2, 2007 10:30 AM | Link to this

Sorry, chance!!! not class. Was stuck on that whole “high school” thing and had some sort of flashback!

By AngDawPac

May 2, 2007 10:37 AM | Link to this

Going out with an “ex” is something I refer to as the “Spoiled Milk Syndrome.” It works like this: You walk to the fridge and pour yourself a glass of milk because you really like milk, especially this particular gallon of milk. You take a sip of the milk, but you realize that this gallon of milk has spoiled and is not drinkable. So what do you do? You put the milk back in the fridge and say to yourself “I will just leave it in there and I am sure that it will be better if I try it again in 30 minutes.” Let me tell you a secert…it doesn’t unspoil.

By SlimOne

May 2, 2007 10:38 AM | Link to this

SeanJ I can’t recall but do you have any kids? If so, how old?

By SexyLeggs

May 2, 2007 10:47 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone. Interesting this is today’s topic. My exhusband called me last night asking if he were to give me a hug the next time he saw me would I hug him back. Told him I hadn’t thought about hugging him. Didn’t know what to say. He then asked if he could take me out for a drink sometime. I knew what to say then, I politely said no, thank you. I don’t believe in giving exes a second chance. They’re an ex for a reason. No back pedddling for me.

By SexyLeggs

May 2, 2007 10:53 AM | Link to this

Lady Dark w/Dimples did you hear Ne Yo on Steve Harvey this morning? His CD is slamming!

By All my ex's live in TX

May 2, 2007 10:55 AM | Link to this

Biff, A feminine lesbian that can be set back on track is a bisexual. A true lesbian will always like women. I’m not sure I could trust in a relationship with a bisexual woman. I couldn’t bare waking up in the morning to the sight of her flipping a coin to decide which way she was gonna swing today.

By SexyLeggs

May 2, 2007 10:57 AM | Link to this

I am friendly with ALL my exes. My exhusband commended me on being so nice to him after our divorce. We have a daughter together. She needs to see that not all breakups or divorces have to be bitter. I don’t care for my ex, but she doesn’t need to know this or see it or feel that I don’t care about her father. I decided early on to take the high road for her sake.

By Lady Dark going to Japan on Friday

May 2, 2007 10:59 AM | Link to this

SeanJ I told him that I felt kinda left out this weekend but I know that it wasn’t his fault. I couldn’t travel with him this weekend. His mom had a BIG celebration cookout and all his family and friends came by….I just kept picturing how they were there together so proud of their little man….admittedly a sense of jealousy But I didn’t want to burden him with my insecurities….it is what it is. I just told him that I wished I was there, but I’m glad that they had a great time!

but I did ask if everyone wanted to know why they weren’t together anymore And then the pictures of her there with the family…..:-(

By Bella

May 2, 2007 11:00 AM | Link to this

@SexyLeggs If I may ask, did your relationship with him end badly?

It sounds as though you are a strong woman who is standing her ground!

By Lady Dark going to Japan on Friday

May 2, 2007 11:00 AM | Link to this

Sexy YES! I don’t even buy music but when I heard the songs this morning…I’ll have it by tonight! Is it out? Was that Jennifer Hudson song slammin or what??? Leaving Tonight I thnk it was called.

By lovelyliz

May 2, 2007 11:01 AM | Link to this

It really depends on why you broke up in the first place.

What seems like a deal breaker when you are young may turn out to be nothing when you are older.

If on the other hand, you break up for very serious, deep seated reasons and your ex (or you) hasn’t gone through some serious life altering change (aging doesn’t count) staying exes may be for the best.

By All my ex's live in TX

May 2, 2007 11:05 AM | Link to this

SexyLeggs, I sooo commend you for that!! The child goes thru enough during a divorce. I only wish my ex thought that way…

By SeanJohnson

May 2, 2007 11:11 AM | Link to this

@ Slim…the boy that will be King is 3..

@ DarkDimples….did he at least bring you a plate back? lol…i am sure he felt that insecure vibe u gave off…but like u said it is what it is….NOT trying to add to your insecurities..although he may have “let” go..i am sure some of his family members were telling/asking him why they arent together and they look good as a family..

By For Real

May 2, 2007 11:12 AM | Link to this

What up Blog Fam!!!

Once the doors of the past are closed leave them shut. Like my Paw-Paw use to say:

Paw-Paw: Boy!! (He always screamed when he was telling me something important)

Lil For Real: Sir

Paw-Paw: Ain’t no sense climbing that mountain again when you know ain’t ish up top.

Lil For Real: Huh, who said somethin OUCH (from the slap to the back of the head)

Paw-Paw: I talk you listen. Hear me?

Lil For Real: Yes sir

By effect04

May 2, 2007 11:18 AM | Link to this

This is 8th-9th grade puppy love (I thought). We dated for two-three years. He is now married, I’m divorced and I never stopped thinking about him over all these years. We were inseperable!! We talk once a week now for the past year (we’re both 41). I miss him so much. We broke up because I moved from Tennessee to Georgia. But he still talks like he wish we were together too! What do YOU think? effect04

By SlimOne

May 2, 2007 11:22 AM | Link to this

SeanJ I couldn’t help but hear that Lion King song in my head when i read that. “Oh, I just can’t wait to be king!”

By LahLah

May 2, 2007 11:25 AM | Link to this

Hey ya’ll,

As many of you said, circumstances play a big part in if two people who were previously together can reconcile. I think it’s possible. Anythings possible right? My parents married, divorced then remarried, so did my oldest sister and bruh n law, so did one of my uncles and his wife.

Being that I’ve matured a great deal over the years, I can’t imagine me getting back with any of my ex’s. For a while, the IDEA of being back with my ex-husband was delightfully playing through my head. But like sexy said, “ex’s are ex’s for a reason.”

musing I love that chicken salad that used to be chicken issh and whoever mentioned how spoiled milk doesn’t unspoil….

Although people change seasons change and all that good stuff, I would prefer to keep it moving.

Hey Dark so why couldn’t you go to the party for your SO’s mama? Did he and BM go together? Or was it just because she was there? I didnt get that part…..

Oh and I got Neyo’s CD yesterday morning and it is really really good. Especially the Crazy song with Jay Z…

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 2, 2007 11:26 AM | Link to this

@Bella and crew

Mornin by the way…

I said it earlier this week,people’s core character remains the same!

Please may change their appearance,views,opinions,thoughts,behavoir(to a certain degree),but their core character and value system remains in tact!

If you take a old car,with the same engine and paint it, put new seats in it,tires,etc. you still have the same car that looks better,but runs the same!

Very few rebounds/ex’es work out in the long run,it is your call, but I would not do it!

By SlimOne

May 2, 2007 11:30 AM | Link to this

effect04 well, I think he’s married. Nothing more needs to be said.

By aa

May 2, 2007 11:33 AM | Link to this

Me and my ex are still sleeping together..8 years later, but if he messes up he is cut.. I keep him at a distant at times, you just dont know who is meant for you.. Marriage is the next option.. Dont be a fool 3 times.

By For Real

May 2, 2007 11:35 AM | Link to this

SJ I believe when you have kids with an ex it is thought about b/c you can see that’s what your kids want and it hurts.

And you right Lw/2D’s man could have at least brought her a plate. lol..

Sexileg give that man a hug.

AngDawPac Putting spoiled milk back in the frige is nasty. Pour that ish out and go buy a new galon. It’s obvious you haven’t use that galon of that’s why it’s spoiled.

By Lady Dark going to Japan on Friday

May 2, 2007 11:39 AM | Link to this

Hey LahLah I re-read my post and I wasn’t clear. His family has NEVER met his son. His mother was throwing a BIG celebration because Baby Mommie was going to be in the city visiting friends for that weekend (she lives in another state as well) and she was going to let them meet the little one for the first time. He flew there so that he could be with his son for the weekend and proudly show off his son to his family. His mother invited the Baby Mommie to the cookout as well….not mad at that But I couldn’t travel that weekend because I had obligations here.

By Cassie

May 2, 2007 11:41 AM | Link to this

SexyLegs -

Mine called on Monday to tell me that if I ever needed someone to…occupy my time, he wanted to be at the top of the list!!!!

No freaking way

By SexyLeggs

May 2, 2007 11:41 AM | Link to this

@Bella, my divorce could have ended badly, but I refused to let it go down that path. Life is too short for my to harbor hatred or dislike for another. I asked for the divorce, I paid the lawyers and I was the only one that went to court. He signed off on the papers, but didn’t want to come…so be it. He’s a decent guy, but not the guy for me. I was going nowhere with him. I was married 12 years. I am 48 years of age (but look around 37-39 so I’ve been repeatedly told), and I simply refused to go into my 50’s miserable and unhappy. It was time for me TO DO ME. I am a very strong woman and I am so proud of myself for finally doing what I should have done a long time ago. BTW, I even had a divorce party. Yes indeedy…had a blast.

By Ladylike

May 2, 2007 11:46 AM | Link to this

No going back for me, I can’t think of one ex that I would date again. Many of my ex’s have change and grown into good men, just not good men for me.

By SeanJohnson

May 2, 2007 11:46 AM | Link to this

@ DarkDimples..his family has never seen his son??? that raises flags…big time..

By SexyLeggs

May 2, 2007 11:48 AM | Link to this

@ForReal, I’m curious. Why do you say I should give him a hug? What if he wants to kiss me after the hug, then what. I don’t want to go there. I know he really cares for me and wants to be with me (he never wanted this divorce), but I can’t go there again.

By LahLah

May 2, 2007 11:50 AM | Link to this

Dark oh ok gotcha.

LL so what if you put a brand new engine in that old car? I believe it is possible for a person’s core belief’s and moral actions to change.

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 2, 2007 11:52 AM | Link to this

Man, I was doing too much multi-task, when I did my opening line…

This should read…

People may change their appearance,views,opinions,thoughts,behavoir(to a certain degree),but their core character and value system remains in tact forever!

On another topic,had a convo with a chick last night,over dinner.

Interestingly,she refered to meeting the “one” for her on some type of timetable more than once,so I called her on it!

I said to her that I find it interesting, that a lot of women feel that they can dictate when they are going to meet the “one” when,where, how!

Get out of the fantasy I said!

Dude might be sitting next to you at the red light, pushing a buggy on the next isle at Kroger, etc. you cannot dictate or predict when you are going to meet the right dude or the best dude for your situation or what he will even look like!

Chick looked like I pooted!

You may want a certain situation to go down, but in most cases, it won’t go down the way you planned!

Chime in…

By MusingLee

May 2, 2007 11:52 AM | Link to this

SexyLeggs Why don’t you give him a church hug…(The kind with you booty pointing far away)…and then give him a grand mama kiss..(the kind where you get him in the eye ball)???

By SexyLeggs

May 2, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this

@Cassie never a truer statement coined than “you’ll miss the water when the well runs dry.”

By Lady Dark going to Japan on Friday

May 2, 2007 11:57 AM | Link to this

@SeanJ…Baby Mommie wouldn’t let the little one travel without her for the first year….probably still won’t actually. She lives in one state, my SO lives here, his family lives North….they could have met the little one if they wanted to fly to the state Baby Mommie lives in….

what flags are you seeing?

By Dr. Kym Relationship Expert

May 2, 2007 12:01 PM | Link to this

Good Afternoon All,

Yes I do believe it is possible for people to change…I said it last week that the person you were at 20 is not the same person that you were at 25, 30, etc.. We all change and grow so Bella if you and this gentleman decide to give it a go what do you really have to lose? Belle you said this was in high school and your interest were different… well hell unless he was into pulling the wings off of bats as a recreational activity how different can your interest be in high school? What he liked Motley Crew and you like Bon Jovi…? I mean come on I wore cross-color jeans in high school and a Wham t-shirt…because those were my interest then…flash forward 17 years and I enjoy totally different things.

An yes I have managed to remain on speaking terms with ex-loves. Before my son’s father passed away we had a relatively good relationship despite the evil things he did.

By SexyLeggs

May 2, 2007 12:02 PM | Link to this

Thanks for the laugh MusingLee. You are so so so funny. LL I’ve always been interested in what you blog, but the chick looked like I pooted had me spitting out my tea….whew!

By SexyLeggs

May 2, 2007 12:06 PM | Link to this

@Bella, I read your question to me again. Did it end badly? On some fronts I guess it did. He slapped me twice on two different occasions, and when he told me “I was a worthless piece of shyt” it was time to file papers. Nobody on God’s green earth was going to talk to me like that. The survival of the family rested with me, not him. So, yes, it was going down badly and I had to turn it around.

By Just a Thought

May 2, 2007 12:08 PM | Link to this

@Effect04 I’m sitting here smiling b/c to some extent I was in the same exact situation. I too had someone I really cared about for a couple of years, who I gradually pulled apart from when I left Tennessee :-). He has since gotten married, but I still care about him deeply and think of him often. My advice to you is to respect his marriage. He has chosen to make a covenant with someone other than yourself. As hard as it is, you have to let that past relationship go. What I have come to realize is that no matter how much I would love to have him at my side now, it’s not possible. We had OUR time and for whatever reason it ended. I got what I needed from that relationship and now I have to press forward. I think by staying in contact with him on such a frequent basis, you all are only “tempting” each other, which isn’t healthy for you, him, or his marriage.

By Dr. Kym Relationship Expert

May 2, 2007 12:11 PM | Link to this

Dark I know your situation is not the topic here but I am going to give you a solid piece of advice that someone wise gave me. If you are with this man for the long haul….all that insecurity you are carry is going to either have to be addressed and let go of..or buried deep and never to show it’s head. Now I am sure the amen corners will chime in and say something different.

But take it from one who has played both roles. There is no middle ground…the Baby mama does not have to be your friend, or his families friend…although it seems that they are reaching out to her so that they can play a part in the childs life..which is their job…not hers.

By Just a Thought

May 2, 2007 12:17 PM | Link to this

@Effect04 I also meant to add that things happen for a reason and if something is meant to be, it’ll be. What I’m saying is in relationships, you shouldn’t act with an end in mind. Basically, if you are in contact with him hoping that somewhere down the road you two will be together, that’s not good. Relationships aren’t supposed to be calculated and purposefully planned. Everyone says the best ones come along when they’re least expected. (I am still waiting on that to happen to me..lol) I would never wish divorce or worse on anyone’s relationship and I ‘m sure you wouldn’t either, so by picturing yourself as more than just a friend to him, I think that’s what you’re doing subconciously. Just live your life and you never know…you all may cross paths later down the road when the time is right for the both of you.

By JJ

May 2, 2007 12:21 PM | Link to this

Well, in my situation, nothing changed. Two years after our divorce, the ex and I started seeing each other again. He eventually manuvered himself into MY house that I purchased after our divorce (and he lost our house in foreclosure). His behavior had not changed at all, even after two years.
He didn’t help me at all with OUR child, he continued to party every night, not coming home until midnight, etc. Then his brother and a friend of his manuevered theirselves into MY home…I took this for about three weeks, then kicked him to the curb. Haven’t seen him (or any child support) since.

Funny thing though, about two months after all this, I realized my child was miserable with her father in our home. She was about 3 years old, and was having nightmares, mis-behaving in day care, etc. Once he moved out, her behavior changed.

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 2, 2007 12:21 PM | Link to this

@LahLah Ain’t no new engine going into a person!

By Sunshine

May 2, 2007 12:24 PM | Link to this

My high school sweetheart and I (prom dates in 1987) contacted each other in 2005, married in 2006, and are now the proud parents of a handsome 1 month old son. We both have loved each other for over 20 years, but our lives took us in different directions. We are definitely the poster children for giving ex’s another chance. :)

By telle

May 2, 2007 12:25 PM | Link to this

So I was loving this man hard for three months and then I moved away.

Never stopped thinking about him.

Years pass, both of us were married… and unmarried… talking on the phone… hadn’t been face to face ‘cause living in different countries…but will be soon.

Anybody do this and it WORK?

Or do I stay out of fantasy land and let it go??

By SexyLeggs

May 2, 2007 12:30 PM | Link to this

@Sunshine, glad to hear your success story. There aren’t many out there. Congratulations on the birth of your son. Mommyhood is a wonderful and beautiful thing. Proverbs 22:6 says “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it. I wholeheartedly believe in this. Not that you have to, but wanted to share nonetheless. Enjoy your son and your love for your husband.

By SeanJohnson

May 2, 2007 12:36 PM | Link to this

@ DarkDimples….red flags…let see..well i remember when u first mentioned dude..how yall met..how he had a lil one..and the moms was over protective..blah.blah blah..but it seems like its MORE to it….your SO needs to get a paternity test..get a lawyer and try to get joint custody…even if it means he would have to pay child support..if the mother wont be and adult and cooperate..he needs to take a different avenue..for the baby to be a little over a year and his mother JUST now seeing him..is crazy..and the childs mother shouldnt take the FULL blame..like i say…the writing is always on the wall…and its not written in hieroglyphics..

By SexyLeggs

May 2, 2007 12:38 PM | Link to this

Telle, can’t say your in fantasyland just yet, but living in two different COUNTRIES. Hopefully, when you two meet face to face again and all the chemistry and love smacks you down, one of you would be willing to move. If not, then fantasyland it just might be.

By Jake

May 2, 2007 12:40 PM | Link to this

LL cosigning that 11:52.

A wise man once said, “you can plan pretty picnic, but you can’t predict the weather”…lol.

I think at some point we all have or will realize that whoever your higher power is has a good sense of humor. Planning is setting expectations for events yet to occur, but no matter how well something is planned, there are usually changes and revisions.

AngDawPac Spoil-milk syndrome, big ups on that one.

Hey Sexione, catch these, winks and kisses

By Jewel

May 2, 2007 12:42 PM | Link to this

Good afternoon Everyone!

Have you ever run into an ex years later to find that they are a completely different person? No. That they’ve changed for the better? No. That you are perfect for them and that they are perfect for you? No. Have you had a successful relationship with someone you had already dated years before? No. Never had the experience.

If this is possible, is it only possible if someone is transitioning into woman/manhood? Or are people capable of drastic relational change much later in life as well? This is possible, based on life experiences and whether or not a person learns and grows in those experiences.

Bella In your case, I would say that maturity plays a major part. Dating someone in high school is much different than dating someone in your 20s, 30s 40s, etc. If there is mutual interest, go for it.

Have a Powerful, Productive, Prosperous and Postive Day!!!

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 2, 2007 12:42 PM | Link to this

@Sunshine Hate to pee on your parade,but you are the exception!

I think there are ex’es that can pull it together and work it out, but the majority of these situations work for a brief minute, then fall apart and then it makes the situation worse than the first time!

There is a reason that they are ex’es, remember that!

By SlimOne

May 2, 2007 12:46 PM | Link to this

telle It might be bit of a fantasyland. I was in a long distance relationship but not a transcontinental one which i’m sure has to be that much harder. Of course, in my case, things were all good when we were around each other in short spurts of time but when we were finally able to be in the same city, it fizzled fast. Plus like Ludacris, he had hos in different area codes.

By Jewel

May 2, 2007 12:53 PM | Link to this

Lady Dark Enjoy your trip to Japan…business or pleasure?

By Jake

May 2, 2007 12:55 PM | Link to this

Sunshine I don’t know if anyone told you, LL is a our resident Dream Pysser On-err…he doesn’t mean it, but he can’t stop himself…lol

By Sexione

May 2, 2007 12:57 PM | Link to this

ForReal Paw-Paw sounds like he’s off da chain!! lol

LL chick look like I pooted lol The truth can be ugly, but it must be told!!

Heeeyy Jake, right back atcha….hugs and kisses

Sunshine good for you both..all three. I think you all are the exception though….nothing wrong with that!

By Randyt (aka "Been there, Done that, got a closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 2, 2007 1:05 PM | Link to this

I have to say that this has gotten me to thinking about a few ladies at my 10 year reunion. I’ve wondered several times since my divorce whether one could tactfully call and see if Lady A, Lady B, and Lady C (names were changed to protect the innocent) were still married. It intrigued me how many of the 10’s in high school had become 5’s and 5’s, how many of the ‘wallflowers’ had blossomed into truly lovely ladies…and thinking boy was I a dumbazz not to see what they would become when they were available.

By Cassie

May 2, 2007 1:14 PM | Link to this

SexyLegs -

We have a bit in common. I paid for my divorce and did all the serving and was the only one to go to court. That was an expensive lesson!

So now way is he getting my bed…

By Sunshine

May 2, 2007 1:17 PM | Link to this

Everyone …thanks for the words of support.

I definitely believe alot of the reason we have been successful is because we both want to be together and are willing to work at the relationship. (The reason for ANYTHING in life to go well.) Also, he was my ex-boyfriend, and not spouse. There was never any abuse from either party. We always adored one another. Also, we have a lot of support from our families and friends.

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 2, 2007 1:30 PM | Link to this

@Jake I wouldn’t say I am the resident dream p** offer, I am just a realist!

Folks tend to like to live in the fantasy and if I see em daydreamin,I am gonna give the a swift kick in the azz!

If they listen to me and others,they can thank me later when they are not going through the drama!

By Dr. Kym Relationship Expert

May 2, 2007 1:32 PM | Link to this

Warning Words for men

WORDS WOMEN USE:

1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare! It is not permission. Don’t Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you’re welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a women’s way of saying F@!K YOU!

9.) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking “what’s wrong”,for the woman’s response refer to #3.

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 2, 2007 1:43 PM | Link to this

@Dr. Kym I am glad you put that out there!

Didn’t we have a topic a while back, about say what you mean and mean what you say???

It was brought up that men were deceptive in their comments,but based on what you just put out there,it seems/appears/looks that you guys are changing lanes and not signaling…what’s the deal?

By DuShawn

May 2, 2007 1:44 PM | Link to this

I think it’s possible to rekindle and maintain a successful relationship with an ex. You would have to revisit the reasons for the initial break up. Sometimes relationships end on a positive note. Its not always mistreatment, incompatibility or infidelity that causes relationship to dissolve, often timing or distance can cause a couple to come to the realization that they should move on. In those instances, if the couple’s paths cross later in life, their situations may have change and their flame for one another may still be simmering. I’ve been in that situation. My last year in undergrad, I fell in love with this female that was younger than I was. When I graduated she was still school. We maintained a long distance relationship for about a year. I would fly her to where ever I was and we saw each other often. Inevitably, we both realized we couldn’t continue like that. We ended that relationship still loving one another. If we were to meet again and our situations permitted, I would definitely be willing to give it another shot.

By LahLah

May 2, 2007 1:53 PM | Link to this

Half of the time, when we use the Words Women Use it’s to avoid confrontation. But I guess it is lack of communication as well.

By Lady Dark going to Japan on Friday

May 2, 2007 1:56 PM | Link to this

Kym That’s good advice and I’ll definitely try and bury it. The insecurity stems from meeting him after the child was 1-month old so always wondering…is it really over? It’s been addressed and for the most part I’ve buried…it’s time like the family gathering and I’m not there that makes it resurface.

Jewel It’s for pleasue…my SO and I are traveling with another couple

SeanJ Silly, he’s a doctor, of course he had a paternity test done … and yes, he’s gotten a lawyer and he already pays child support. The deal between his family just now meeting his son is between them and not me….and like I said…the family likes her so I guess it’s all good to them….

By Randyt (aka "Been there, Done that, got a closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 2, 2007 2:03 PM | Link to this

Hi LahLah

Half of the time, when we use the Words Women Use it’s to avoid confrontation.

I have read that list before and having been on the receiving end of them probably thousands of times (I screwed up a lot) I can attest to its accuracy. The scary thing is that the issue never goes away…it is lingering and festering under the surface. Then about two or three weeks later the man gets hit with a big blowup over something small and wonders WTF was that all about By this time the woman does not even remember what she is really mad about.

Believe me, I have a whole section of my closet with t-shirts from that.

By For Real

May 2, 2007 2:05 PM | Link to this

telle one word WAKE UP oh i guess two words.

Sunshine You my dear are the exception that proves the rule. By the way did you earn you name Sunshine???

Lw/2D’s How serious are you with your SO and more importantly how serious is your SO with you? Was your obligation a bench warrant?

Sexi Yeah my Paw-Paw said whatever came to his mind. He gave me a life time of advice when I was about 9 or 10 years old. I thought he was loosing his mind at the time but everything he told me was true. But he told me that stuff at such a young age, I remember telling my mom that I thing Paw-Paw is going senile.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

May 2, 2007 2:06 PM | Link to this

Hey ALL!! I hope everyone is having a great day!

On topic if my first love walked through my door right now, I would drop errthang to be with him again. I agree about the reason for the breakup and truth be told, me and first love never had a bad breakup. We have always managed to keep in touch and whenever we see each other its like no time was lost. I truly consider him my one that got away.

Mo sighs thinking about first love That was a great time in my life.

Like some others have stated though, I am pretty good friends with most of the ex’s, even been invited to some weddings. I havent had but one bad breakup, the rest were pretty mutual (or so they seemed).

By DuShawn

May 2, 2007 2:15 PM | Link to this

There was another one that I would be willing to try it with again. I let her go because I thought I wanted someone else. I did it respectfully and smoothly. So it ended on a positive note. She never knew the real reason for the break up. I was young and dumb. The next dude she dated, she married. Our paths crossed a decade later. She was divorced and I had just started dating my current wife. She took me out to lunch. We sat on the beach and discussed philosophy. She was the only female I ever dated that could recite the poem “Invictus” verbatim and she bought a brotha Cohibas. I slipped when I let her go.

By Jake

May 2, 2007 2:16 PM | Link to this

@Kym, here are the thoughts that men have when we hear those words.

Warning Words for men

WORDS WOMEN USE:

1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

I know its fine, you have no other choice

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

That ish gonna take thirty minutes, I’m gonna finish watching the game before I do anything

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

What is wrong with her crazy azz now

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare! It is not permission. Don’t Do It!

I’m a grown azz man, I don’t need your dayum permission

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

refer back to 3

6.) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

She gonna be mad regardless, I might as well have some fun before dealing with this ish

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you’re welcome.

You’re welcome sweetie, I would do more if she acted like this all the time

8.) Whatever: Is a women’s way of saying F@!K YOU!

F@!K you too

9.) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking “what’s wrong”,for the woman’s response refer to #3.

Good, I wish your lazy azz would have did it from the jump, that way we wouldn’t be dealing with this now

Any questions?…lol

By For Real

May 2, 2007 2:25 PM | Link to this

RandyT to add to your 2:03 post… Here is the perfect song for that…

Let’s Straighten It Out

Come MLB sing along with me:

HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU EXPECT ME TO UNDERSTAND WHEN I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT’S WRONG!!!!!!

And yes I had to use bold and caps….

By DuShawn

May 2, 2007 2:30 PM | Link to this

Jake those are truly the thoughts of men. Well said. Ladies, if you don’t know…..now you know.

By Lady Dark going to Japan on Friday

May 2, 2007 2:31 PM | Link to this

For Real Bench Warrant?…you got it confused…I’m the MVP who never comes out of the game!

Jake I am on the floor laughing because I can believe every word you said!!

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 2, 2007 2:39 PM | Link to this

Fellas, and y’all wonder why I love being in the crib by myself and why I love being single!

Ain’t got time to be reading sign language and dealin with mood swings at this point in my ball game!

By SlimOne

May 2, 2007 2:40 PM | Link to this

For Real one of my friends told me how her Paw-Paw was and yours reminds me of hers. She said whenever he talked to her he would be yelling and she’d ask him why he was yelling. Paw-Paw would say, I’m not yelling baby I just talk loud. (saying this while still yelling lol

By SlimOne

May 2, 2007 2:44 PM | Link to this

Jake If men and women could read each others mind, I wonder if we’d even be able to stand each other. That would be a curse.

By Island Girl

May 2, 2007 2:45 PM | Link to this

LL

Put the mood swings aside…aint nothing better than good company at your crib :-)

Turn off the lights and light a candle….

By abc

May 2, 2007 2:46 PM | Link to this

‘Course I’m sure the codes are at least half in jest, but IMHO, holding in one’s true feelings will only breed resentment, it’ll come to a head sooner or later. Ironic to consider that women might be most likely to be that way.

By For Real

May 2, 2007 2:47 PM | Link to this

Mo This is for you:

I been starin’ at your photograph Wondering where you’re at today And I’ve been hanging by the telephone Hopin’ that you’d call home and stay

You told me you needed More walks, more talks More feelin’ close to me I wanna be close to you

By Island Girl

May 2, 2007 2:49 PM | Link to this

Jake

How true…LOL…

By DuShawn

May 2, 2007 2:51 PM | Link to this

If my lady could read my mind It would’ve been over. Often she will say something and I’m thinking “This b%&ch got me f@cked up. She done bumped her muthaf&ckin head” But the words that come out of my mouth are “sure sweetheart, I can do that for you.”

By SlimOne

May 2, 2007 2:55 PM | Link to this

Rules of Men

By SeanJohnson

May 2, 2007 2:56 PM | Link to this

@ Slim..actually us smart men read females minds and interpret well “words women use”…and tell yall/or do exactly enough needed to keep yall happy and or quiet…or master the art of putting yall on ignore to keep sane..lol…women are some fickled creatures..yall lucky yall look so damn good…

By SlimOne

May 2, 2007 2:58 PM | Link to this

DuShawn dang! But don’t sleep on what she’s probably thought about you too though

DuShawn hitting wife in all positions. She’s moaning and groaning like someone’s killing her but she’s really thinking…should i wear my black pumps to work tomorrow. Dayum, I need to fart real bad. I hope he finishes soon

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

May 2, 2007 3:00 PM | Link to this

For Real You always give me a good song!! Thanks blog hugs & kisses!!

By Dr. Kym Relationship Expert

May 2, 2007 3:01 PM | Link to this

Jake Good One….LOL and since I am in a good mood..Here is another one for the Fellows.

If Men had to plan Weddings

1)There would be a “Rehearsal Dinner Kegger” until the cops showed up.

2) Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cut-offs and halter tops.

3) Tuxes would have team logos on the back and the Nike shoes would have matching team colors.

4) June weddings would be scheduled around basketball play-offs.

5) Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically, but omit that “forsaking all others” part.

6) The couple would leave the ceremony in a souped-up ‘73 Charger or Better yet, a Harley!

7) Big, slobbery dogs would be eligible for the role of “Best Man.”

8) There would be “Tailgate Receptions.”

9) Outdoor weddings would be held during sporting events at half-time or between innings.

10) Ceremonies and honeymoons would be inexpensive compared to the cost of the bachelor party. The cost of strippers and liquor really does add up.

11) Men wouldn’t ask, “Well, what do you think, dear? The burgundy or the wine colored napkins?” They’d just grab extras from their local pub or tavern.

12) Instead of a sit-down dinner or a buffet, there would be a hog roast or buckets of chicken, pizza, and plenty of bar-b-que.

Invitations would read as follow: *Tom (Dick or Harry) is getting the old ball and chain. He’s getting married. He either because:

A) Knocked her up,

B) Couldn’t get a different roommate,

or

C) Caved in to her ultimatum.

Please meet the woman who will cook and clean for him for the rest of this life at the Georgia Dome On the 50-Yard Line at Half-time during Sunday’s Game. Please join us at the Blueflame after the game For Beer, Nachos and lapdances. Oh yeah… B.Y.O.B.

By For Real

May 2, 2007 3:02 PM | Link to this

reading each other mind, mind, mind…

Dude Reading Female Mind: @#$%^&&^&%$#@!!!@#$%$^&.. AGHHHH WTF *

Female Reading Dude Mind: How can I get her to fix me something eat, bring me a beer, give me a bj, and her be quiet when she is finish all while I watch the game????

By DuShawn

May 2, 2007 3:05 PM | Link to this

Slim lol….you’re prolly right.

By For Real

May 2, 2007 3:08 PM | Link to this

Slim I may take a hit from the MLB but when it comes to sex men don’t give a crap about what yall are actually thinking so long the Jerry Springer feels good to us you can hum the Star Spangel Banner and I wouldn’t care.

By Island Girl

May 2, 2007 3:12 PM | Link to this

Kym

All hail to the queen. That was funny!!!LOL.

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 2, 2007 3:12 PM | Link to this

@Island Girl But when you single and not attached,when the candle burns out,you tell her azz to go home!

When you married,you can’t do that!

By SlimOne

May 2, 2007 3:14 PM | Link to this

SeanJ I don’t think we women necessarily ‘read your minds’. However, we do create a SO profile that we mentally (and at times physically) jot down. So we’ll be on high alert when you do something that doesn’t fit your profile. For instance, if buddy comes home and normally kisses us, grabs our butt a few times, grabs a beer, then shower that’s fine…NORMAL. But if buddy comes in quietly trying not to be seen by us, hurries and take a shower…HIGH ALERT. Unless he been working on cars or rolling with no a/c it waves a red flag.

By DuShawn

May 2, 2007 3:19 PM | Link to this

when you single and not attached,when the candle burns out,you tell her azz to go home! When you married,you can’t do that!

When you’re married and the candle burns out you get up and go home to the wife….lol j/k.

By SlimOne

May 2, 2007 3:20 PM | Link to this

For Real hardy har har.

Dude reading Female mind: I wish he would clean up the dayum house for once. Everyday I gotta come home and pick his boo boo drawers up off the floor. And why he always asking for some dome all the time. Did he every think that maybe I might want a little MP while watching Desperate Housewives?…and why his feet smell so bad. I’ve tried Dr Schoals, baking powder, Rid-X…why his momma always wearing that same old bird nest on her head? She smell like moths balls…on and on and on

By C tha 1

May 2, 2007 3:21 PM | Link to this

I’ve been speed lurking, but why is it that whenever a question is presented to the ladies about admitting past mistakes or regrets the blog ladies act as if every decission they made was perfect?

I mean everyone would like a “do over” on some things…but you ladies kill me with playing the role of the innocent victim or perfect catch that some dumb a* couldn’t appreciate.

It is what it is I guess.

I’m being real cynical of women lately…I gotta stop sleeping with other dudes ladies. The karma can’t be good, and the level of deception they display is kinda sickening. That’s life I guess.

By Dr. Kym Relationship Expert

May 2, 2007 3:22 PM | Link to this

Island I found it in a old email my sister sent me..but cant you just see a damn tailgate reception…bunch of grown men crying and pouring beer on the ground for their buddy that has gotten “chained-down”.

I actually could go for the wedding on the 50-yard line..change that to Heinz Field in Pittsburgh and you might have something there.

By SlimOne

May 2, 2007 3:23 PM | Link to this

For Real I think Marques Houston’s song Naked might be a better choice…after all we do want to get something out of it sometimes.

By GA.man

May 2, 2007 3:25 PM | Link to this

Hello all… Said while speed blogging Man i have been busy come back and over 100 posts…lololol but i should be able to catch up

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 2, 2007 3:28 PM | Link to this

@Dr. Kym I noticed that you avoided my previous question, but on your 3:01,I bet the dudes wedding would be a whole hell of a lot cheaper,esp. when he has to take part responsibility in paying back the loan and would be a lot more fun!

Hummm…let’s do the math…

let’s see Dude=$500.00 - 1,000 chick=$5,000 to eternity or until you go broke and end up with a 60mos payment plan.

Which one makes more sense,when you lookin at your bottom line and the ish ain’t guaranteed to make it through college!

By Randyt (aka "Been there, Done that, got a closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 2, 2007 3:30 PM | Link to this

Hey Slim

I’ve noticed that the blog posts focus on trying to figure out what the ‘female’ is thinking, and very little in reverse. I wondered about that until I remembered that it has never definitively been proven that the female cares what the male thinks!!! LOL.

By Island Girl

May 2, 2007 3:32 PM | Link to this

**LL”” True…I must agree. Nothing wrong with enjoying your own space. My ex used get on my nerves with always wanting to be in my space.

Slim I agree. Men are so predictable…come on guys. Most of you are creatures of habit, which makes it easy to catch you in lies, etc. Forget about decoding words and mind reading, etc, etc, etc. Remember the old adage, “Actions speak louder than Words”.

By SeanJohnson

May 2, 2007 3:34 PM | Link to this

@ Slim…u must have delt with some slow men…another “playa” tip…real playas keep uncented wipes in the car….come home give u some suga and ask you how your day was…with a smile on my face..lol

By Jewel

May 2, 2007 3:39 PM | Link to this

You guys are crazy! LOL! Kym Your 1:32 is hilarious!

Jake Your responses are too funny! My current Joy has already said I have 3-4 days to “get over it.” Otherwise, I do not have the option of bringing it (whatever the issue) up again. Not six months, six years, whatever! LOL!

By Island Girl

May 2, 2007 3:41 PM | Link to this

Kym Based on LL’s post…enough said about the wedding plans….

Cost of the wedding- $500 Cost of LL explaining to his new inlaws why the wedding is being held on the green at the GA Dome: Priceless

By Sunshine

May 2, 2007 3:42 PM | Link to this

For Real … The nickname was given to me by a friend that said I had the most wonderful disposition. So, did I earn it? You tell me … :)

By For Real

May 2, 2007 3:47 PM | Link to this

Mo You are welcome and here is the rest of the song:

*I didn’t know you needed Some roses, some romance A little candlelight and slow dance That’s not how it’s been But maybe we can try again Try, try, maybe we can try again

I remember all the days gone by And I’m wonderin’ why I couldn’t see I could search the whole world over And never find what you were always giving me I told you I needed More time, more space, more freedom (Free to do) free to do, girl What you wanna do I gave you no roses, no romance No candlelight and no slow dance But that’s just how it’s been Maybe we can try again Try, try, maybe we can try again Try, try, maybe we can try again, yeah*

By SlimOne

May 2, 2007 3:47 PM | Link to this

Island Girl so true.

By For Real

May 2, 2007 3:49 PM | Link to this

Sunshine He said disposition huh.. nice choice of words on his part. But I was thinking more on the lines of Harlem Nights Sunshine

By Dr. Kym Relationship Expert

May 2, 2007 3:49 PM | Link to this

LL Sorry LL some days I truly skip over what you are saying—saves on Advil. But to answer your question about verbal and non-verbal clues with women…it is not limited to just women, men do it too. Non-verbal signals and signs are a form of communication. Take the word whateva as an example…if she says whateva with a carefree tone it is a brush off..if she say Whateva with a heavy tone it is I hope you get hit by a bus or fall out of a moving van.

As for your 3:28 comment we have already established that why you are marriage minded your wallet is ruling your world more than your heart..which in my opinion speaks volume on your character because as they say if your hand is closed you cant give anything away nor recieve anything in return.

By Jewel

May 2, 2007 3:53 PM | Link to this

WHAT MEN THINK

He says …I’m hungry He means …I’m hungry He says …I’m sleepy He means …I’m sleepy He says …I’m tired He means …I’m tired He says …Nice dress He means …Nice cleavage! He says …I love you He means …Let’s have sex now He says …I’m bored He means …Do you want to have sex? He says …What’s wrong? He means …I guess sex tonight is out of the question. He says …I love you, too He means …Okay, I said it…we’d better have sex now! He says …May I have this dance? He means …I’d eventually like to have sex with you He says …Can I call you sometime? He means …I’d eventually like to have sex with you He says …Do you want to go to a movie? He means …I’d eventually like to have sex with you He says …Can I take you out to dinner? He means …I’d eventually like to have sex with you He says …You look tense, let me give you a massage. He means …I want to have sex with you in the next ten minutes. He says …Let’s talk He means …I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you’d like to have sex with me.

By abc

May 2, 2007 3:53 PM | Link to this

That cracks me up a little bit, talk about code… ‘look at the disposition on that one!’ hahaha

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 2, 2007 3:57 PM | Link to this

@Dr. Kym I got a business prep for ya.. Create a dictionary on all these gestures and give me my 20 percent for the idea! I got the contract ready for ya to sign!

On the latter,using my heart will get me screwed everytime!

My business sense and good judgement will in most cases keep me afloat and ahead of the game!

Your heart and business neva mix!!! A relationship should be treated as a business and that is why so many fail!

By LahLah

May 2, 2007 3:57 PM | Link to this

Jewel that hilarious!

Hay Randy

Hay Sean J

By Jewel

May 2, 2007 3:58 PM | Link to this

I mean everyone would like a “do over” on some things…but you ladies kill me with playing the role of the innocent victim or perfect catch that some dumb a couldn’t appreciate….I gotta stop sleeping with other dudes ladies. The karma can’t be good, and the level of deception they display is kinda sickening*

So, C Tha 1 your comment is really directed towards the women you are “sleeping with” rather than the ladies on the blog?

By SeanJohnson

May 2, 2007 3:58 PM | Link to this

@ Slim…nope..randoms dont get that kinda royal treatment..just taken to heights and peaks that she isnt normally taken to on average…if anything..she would be the one leaving with dyck on her breath..lol

By Randyt (aka "Been there, Done that, got a closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 2, 2007 3:59 PM | Link to this

Jewel

WHAT MEN THINK

Mea Culpa!!! LMAOROTF I always said that men are very uncomplicated. You pretty much hit all of the bases.

By SlimOne

May 2, 2007 4:00 PM | Link to this

RandyT according to Jewel’s post, now do you see why the topics don’t stay too long on what you men think? I don’t think it takes too much to discuss that topic. We might get kicked off ajc to discuss in further detail.

By Jewel

May 2, 2007 4:00 PM | Link to this

I mean everyone would like a “do over” on some things…but you ladies kill me with playing the role of the innocent victim or perfect catch that some dumb a couldn’t appreciate….I gotta stop sleeping with other dudes ladies. The karma can’t be good, and the level of deception they display is kinda sickening*

So, C Tha 1 your comment is really directed towards the women you are “sleeping with” rather than the ladies on the blog?

By DuShawn

May 2, 2007 4:01 PM | Link to this

Jewel that’s not too far off…lol you forgot one though; If he responds to your post on a blog, He would like to meet you and eventually have sex with you.

By SlimOne

May 2, 2007 4:05 PM | Link to this

SeanJ ha ha ha…I think I set myself up for that one. Slim now sneaking into SeanJ’s car swapping baby wipes in his glove compartment for Armour All wipes

SeanJ walking in the house looking like he should be wearing a HOT Doughnuts sign…so glazy

By Jewel

May 2, 2007 4:10 PM | Link to this

DuShawn Jewel says…funny!

What Jewel means… When donkeys fly OVER the cow who jumped over the moon!

By C tha 1

May 2, 2007 4:10 PM | Link to this

Jewel actually was was a general blanket statement. But I wouldn’t meeting you … then eventually have sex with you … if you’r fine of course. haha!

By kinderbabe

May 2, 2007 4:12 PM | Link to this

hey jewel:) how’s everything in your world?

By Dr. Kym Relationship Expert

May 2, 2007 4:13 PM | Link to this

Jewel Funny stuff!!!

LL Darling, your words speak of a man who has been tricked by some trick and left holding the trick bag with his heart broken. You know we say we attract what we are so it is no wonder that for you to think that getting with a woman is going to leave your broke and bitter because most likely based on your attitude about money and having stuff those are the women you are attracting.

In my humble opinion manhood is not based on how much you have…any fool can get stuff…stuff is not permanent…and just as hard as you have to work to hang on to it…it can quickly be gone…and it doesnt have to be a woman that takes it from you..

By MusingLee

May 2, 2007 4:13 PM | Link to this

LOLOLOL…Jewel I think you covered er’thing.

Hey LahLah

Hey QC

By C tha 2

May 2, 2007 4:18 PM | Link to this

Correction: I wouldn’t mind meeting you.

By NCgirlfromATL

May 2, 2007 4:20 PM | Link to this

Said as I’m speed blogging*

Jake Your 3:01 post is just stoopid! LMAO!!

Island Girl Don’t encourage LL. He’s not in his apartment alone b/c he doesn’t have time to deal w/ reading a woman’s mind…he’s there alone b/c he pooted!

Heeeeeeey Lah Lah!!

4Real Your Paw Paw sounds like my grandmother! LOLOL!

By Jewel

May 2, 2007 4:23 PM | Link to this

Hello Kym I have that extra bottle of Advil when you need it!

Kinderbabe I am well. How are you today?

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

May 2, 2007 4:24 PM | Link to this

Thanks For Real!!! Mo is singing said song while still at work..

SJ you are off da chain as usual!

By SexyLeggs

May 2, 2007 4:25 PM | Link to this

Jewel your 3:53 post was hysterical. Also, you comment to C tha 1 was exactly what I was thinking. I was scratching my head because I didn’t recall any of the blog ladies saying all their decisions have been perfect. Shyt, we’ve been up here talking about divorce on many occasions…how perfect is that???????

By SeanJohnson

May 2, 2007 4:25 PM | Link to this

@ L-Bourgeoise…whats going on with you?

@ DuShawn…i actually had to laugh at your last post and think…it may be some truth to that…then again..i laughed more when i thought of some odd bloggers coupled off if it was a true statement..but like they say..fact is stranger than fiction..lol

@ Slim..would read more like slim exists SJ truck thinking to her self..damn i gotta come up with a new moniker…i am still slim up top..but all of sudden i got hips and azz..i finally filled out..and i got a funny taste in my mouth..said while blowing in her cuffed hands..lol

By SexyLeggs

May 2, 2007 4:28 PM | Link to this

@LL Daaayyuuummm….you are so bitter. How could you possibly truly love. It doesn’t sound like you want love. You heart shouldn’t be that damn shielded. You are content with a booty call and sending her home when the candles go out. What about companionship and sharing truly, truly special times with. I usually like your posts, but man you can bring somebody down very quickly. Stop being so damn heavy all the time and RELAX.

By SlimOne

May 2, 2007 4:29 PM | Link to this

If you get bored this could be a time waster.

By kinderbabe

May 2, 2007 4:29 PM | Link to this

jewel glad to hear it.:) everything is well w/me. looking forward to the brian mcknight concert this month…i think it’s going to be a nice one.

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 2, 2007 4:29 PM | Link to this

@Dr.Kym A man and a woman do not come to the table with equal playing fields.

In most cases,the man has much more to consider,when he decides to change his “status” to involved or commited!

Not that a woman with high worth does not have anything to consider, when getting involved with any man,but history has proven that we often come up short,when you all often come out ahead,regardless!

I have said often, that I am involved with great women,so I have no issues in that area!

I have dated different women,who are not tricks,nor do they want anything from me, but my time and attention! All have their own!

This issue is not about money in principle (as you often make it),it is about being smart!

My emotions have no place in me making decisions,as I have to always look at my bottom line and my long term!

When it comes to a LTR, I have to do what makes sense and what will not have me regretting in the long run (emotionally,physically and most of all financially)!

I am open to healthy realations, as I have currently experienced for quite a long time,but just because I don’t want to work with your program or any other chick’s program, don’t knock my hustle,if it works for me or other dudes!

The game has gotten smarter,not dumber!

By Randyt (aka "Been there, Done that, got a closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 2, 2007 4:29 PM | Link to this

Jewel

The scary thing is that a man can run through half of those “meanings” in about 20 minutes. So when your man comes home, you will have half of all of his normal thinking before you even get comfortable on the couch.

By Jewel

May 2, 2007 4:37 PM | Link to this

Has anyone seen Cuttin’ Up in the Barber Shop, showing at the Alliance Theatre?

By Jake

May 2, 2007 4:39 PM | Link to this

Hey ya’ll, had to take off for a meeting, what did i miss, be right back…

By SexyLeggs

May 2, 2007 4:40 PM | Link to this

Thanks everybody for ignoring you know who…

By SlimOne

May 2, 2007 4:40 PM | Link to this

SeanJ first of all EWWWWW. Second of all that whole ‘let ‘em hit it right and i’ll get thick in the hips, is a myth. I’ll be 29 in a month and it ain’t happened yet. Oh and one more thing, if i had a funny taste in my mouth, it wouldn’t be because of all skeet skeet gotdayum…but it would be because I just got finished eating a bag of funyuns and taking a ish in the back seat of your ride…you know…after you stalking me and all.

By For Real

May 2, 2007 4:41 PM | Link to this

Jewel Get out of my head.. lol.. oh and you forgot

Why is she sleeping with her butt on me she must want to have sex now

By Dr. Kym Relationship Expert

May 2, 2007 4:45 PM | Link to this

but just because I don’t want to work with your program or any other chick’s program, don’t knock my hustle,if it works for me or other dudes!

Please LL spare me the Jedi mind games My favorite verbal game of men is what I call the turn around… When in doubt of anything else to say…say something along the lines of what is bolded at the top…normally this phase or likes there of is used when a sore spot is hit on a man’s toe.

So…I say to you Goody Goody for you…. this proves the theory that there is someone for everyone or in her case it proves there’s a sucker born every minute.

By Dr. Kym Relationship Expert

May 2, 2007 4:46 PM | Link to this

Jewel Nooooo it is on my list of plays…Have you seen it? How was it?

By kinderbabe

May 2, 2007 4:46 PM | Link to this

have a good night everyone.:)

By LahLah

May 2, 2007 4:51 PM | Link to this

Hey Musing * Hey NY*

Night all…

By Jewel

May 2, 2007 4:51 PM | Link to this

RandyT So, that means while he is sitting on the couch, that little carton bubble above his head says sexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsex! LOL!

For Real For real LOL! Oh, how many times do we have to play dead, knowing if one eye opens he thinks she’s awake, so she must want to have sex! LOL!

By NCgirlfromATL

May 2, 2007 4:52 PM | Link to this

I just got finished eating a bag of funyuns and taking a ish in the back seat of your ride…you know…after you stalking me and all.

Slim You just gave me the perfect way to get rid of the crazy African that won’t leave me alone at the gym. Hmmmmmm….wonder if the BP sells Funyuns….LMAO!!!

Nite all!

By Jewel

May 2, 2007 4:53 PM | Link to this

Kym I have not seen it. I have a 25% NBAF discount and wanted some feedback before we went.

By Island Girl

May 2, 2007 4:55 PM | Link to this

For Real

OMG, Why is she sleeping with her butt on me she must want to have sex now

Whats up with that? You can’t accidently rub up on him or stick out your butt while trying to get into a comfortable sleeping position without giving the wrong message..she want have sex…LOL….LOL