Misadventures in Atlanta

By kinderbabe

May 10, 2007 8:15 AM | Link to this

good morning all! wow, this is going to be a racey one today..lol. i will follow my grandma’s advice and keep my mouth shut.:) whatever happened in my past can not be found in any adult film store or adult magazine on the planet. in other words, i didn’t make whatever happened public information…lol. you never tell everything. a woman has to have some secrets.

By SlimOne

May 10, 2007 8:17 AM | Link to this

Good Morning. Thank Goodness it’s almost Friday. Get my citation ready

I think guys want to know but don’t want to know all at the same time, especially if you’re the good girl in their eyes. Not too long ago ex-SO violated my privacy and checked out my email. He saw old correspondance between an old friend of mine. He told me he’ll never look at me the same and any thoughts about us ever getting back together were done in his mind.

A guy friend told me this: “to be honest guys dont like other dudes touching what we think is ours.As men we think that women should be honored and pleased to have just us. We think that we satisfy and complete women and to find out someone else has taking our place just for one moment is devastating. And to be honest we act like that to cover up our wrong doings.”

By Biff

May 10, 2007 8:18 AM | Link to this

These types are low grade trash. I know a dude who actually married a stripper and its been nothing but trouble, her wires are messed up and the dude pays for it every day.

Stay away.

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

May 10, 2007 8:22 AM | Link to this

Good Morninig Everybody!! Another great topic WD.. I know a lot of guys that is dating or have dated a female stripper— I have a guy friend who met this girl whom i happen to know also— they fell in love, she stop dancing and he propose to her— so we just never know In reference to the skeleton in the closet- we all have something in our past that we did that we regret— i try to not dwell on the past because it just that “the past”— it would be like trying to drive a car while you looking out the rearview mirror.

@ Melo my bag didn’t mean to add the “n” to your name it was a typo OK!

By kinderbabe

May 10, 2007 8:22 AM | Link to this

hey slimone

By Lady J

May 10, 2007 8:24 AM | Link to this

Morning all!!! It is about to be on and popping today crew…Well as all know I cheated a year before the marriage and apologized and we thought we would get through the difficult time…Okay this person pretend to forgive me and went on to propose to me…We married then he comes back with I thought I forgave you but I didn’t and I feel out of love with you six months after the I do and our 1 month of prenancy…Okay I am like why are you trying to use what I did to justify your cheating currently bc of course he was cheating with an co-worker with a similar story…He went on and on on I am trying to forgive you but can’t…My mom said what do you want her to do wear the “A” on her shirt meaning me…Mind you this was before we said I do but he comes back with that bs bc he is doing the same thing I did….Cheating is cheating…MAn or women…It happens…I am not saying stay with a chronic cheater but things do occur…Looking back as I said on this blog before I did realize our seasoned ended a while back and I was too scared to let lo and through that I cheated bc at the end of the day he was not the one for me…But the thing is when women cheat we are looked at as scum, the h-worrd and beyond…It’s not right…men cheat all the time and women deal and tolerrate and move on…We all have skeletons and should not be judge by it…They are learning experiences that make us better people if we truly learn and not become chronic out of control bad decision makers…So that is my tid bit for now…

By SlimOne

May 10, 2007 8:25 AM | Link to this

Hey Kinder,Gaman,Demi,Musing,For Real,Ling,Mo,NC,SeanJ,Jake,Island Girl,Dr Kym…everyone

By Big Fan

May 10, 2007 8:26 AM | Link to this

It has been scientifically proven that strippers and those in the porn industry are mentally ill, drug addicts or otherwise mentally defective.

One should eject themselves from such a relationship….or deal with having tires slashed or your pet bunny ending up in a pot of boiling water.

OK, now I am gonna get my coffee on.

Peace Y’all….

By GA.man

May 10, 2007 8:30 AM | Link to this

Ok this should wind up going crrazyyy for the day….i dont know about that though Wise hhhhmmmm i know we all make mistakes..but dang a pornstar….i really got to think on this one

By SlimOne

May 10, 2007 8:30 AM | Link to this

Lady J you’re right, when or if a women cheats it’s as if she killed the guy’s mom or something. I couldn’t believe how my ex-SO acted in regards to what he saw in my email after all the crap he had done through the years. I understand his hurt and/or disappointment but it was 2 years ago and we were off and on anyway. I told him Now you really have a first hand view of how the things you did all that time hurt me. But i forgave and moved on….forgave but didn’t forget.

By Lady J

May 10, 2007 8:32 AM | Link to this

Oh BTW…I watched Something New last night which really helped me understand some new approaches with dating and going through this current thing I am dealing with…IT is a great movie!!! Sanna did her thing!!!

By Lady J

May 10, 2007 8:42 AM | Link to this

Hey SlimOne and thanks for seeing my point…Girl you would have thought I murder him and I cheating is wrong and it hurts and I have learned not to hurt a SO like that ever again bc KARMA is a b***!!!! Trust I learned I touched the stove and it burned but this negro tried to play me…Now if he had cheated firt I would have tried to ride it out bc I saw my mom do it and I would have done the woman thing to try to save my marriage…It would not hjave been easy but I would not have pulled that dump s**…I am too direct with my stuff…Note I also stated why I cheated…It had nothing to do with him…It was my insecurites that caused this bs and I payed for it and still paying…So lesson learned..Thanks SlimOne!!!

By kinderbabe

May 10, 2007 8:43 AM | Link to this

hey ladyj:) how’s it going?

By Lady J

May 10, 2007 8:47 AM | Link to this

Hey Kinderbabe…It is much better today…Thanks…Some me time really did the trick last night!!! I was so glad to be home alone!!! It really is not that bad and trust I will do more often!!! Thanks for being there for me!!!

By Wise Diva

May 10, 2007 8:48 AM | Link to this

Hey guys! Big thanks to Red Khezu for helping me with my first ever She Said/He Said entry.

IF any of the fellas are interested in doing this with me, PLEASE let me know, email me: wise.diva@gmail.com. I don’t care if you are single, married, divorced, or whatever. As long as you are a man, :).. I won’t ask for proof though, LOL

By Big Fan

May 10, 2007 8:50 AM | Link to this

Lady J, it sounds like we have had the same experiences…Girl, it ain’t all wine and roses out there!! LOL!!

I finally got my coffee on and I am feelin’ fine!

Y’all have a good Thursday, I have to go to the clinic and get my test results, cross y’alls fingers for me. If they are negative, I will be hittin’ the clubs again this weekend….latah.

By Lady J

May 10, 2007 8:58 AM | Link to this

Lord have Mercy Diva…I did not realize it was more to this…Okay I must re-read this topic and then weigh in!!! Great way of switching things up Diva!!!

By Lady J

May 10, 2007 8:59 AM | Link to this

@Big Fan I told my mom yesterday..”You did not tell me life was this tough and she laughed” It is hard out there for a pimp!!! lolol Not a pimp though…LOLOL

By C tha 1

May 10, 2007 9:04 AM | Link to this

Good topic WD, my kinda stuff.lol But in dealing with a woman with a past it really depends on how deep the rabbit hole goes. I’ll try to be brief, but here it goes.

What happens when you have more skeletons than a cemetery in there?!

All things being equal everyone has a past, so you have to be careful with broad sweeping judgements. Still in the STD age you just got to be careful.

My best friend works at Starship in ATL, and has been killin’ me with the stories from that store. Basically, Starship serves EVERYBODY so never judge a book by its cover. Plus, you just don’t know what really gets a person off … it will surprise you.

I’ve dated strippers in the past, I’ve had some good experiences and some not so good experiences. Dating strippers envolves more variables,more issues, and generally more grey areas in dealing with each. First of all, a stripper’s hours are simply too jacked up. Its the same as anyone who has worked a graveyard shift. Furthermore, I need to know at what point is a girl at in her strippin’ career (do actually plan on making this a career?) What are your plans? Are you actively persuing them? Are you on dope? What kind?

More importantly, has ol’ girl been turned out? This is very important because it can really impact her emotional state as she may or may not be entirely comfortable with who she is as a person. At the end of the day, if its something a dude wants to tackle, he has to remember to use proper tackling technique: Always keep your head up, lead w/ your shoulder, and drive, drive, drive. If you tackle a stripper’s issues in another way you may just hurt yourself.

By abc

May 10, 2007 9:08 AM | Link to this

Actions which are indicative of low morals and low self-image such as being a stripper, hooker, etc. are character issues which aren’t likely to go away. Automatic disqualification. If kept secret, extra yards on the penalty, no excuse for that.

Regarding ‘Too Many Partners’, how many is that, is there a timeframe within which that arbitrary number must fall? It’s more difficult to call. Once up into triple digits I suppose it would be difficult to ignore.

By Atl Lady

May 10, 2007 9:09 AM | Link to this

Good morning I agree with Slim One. Guys really don’t want to know. Like the songs says, If loving you is wrong I don’t wanna be right. It touches on a lot of what we are going to be discussing today. In the end, he is thinking about how his loved ones and peers would view not only his woman, but him as a person for being in a relationship with her. It’s a catch 22 because everyone is not squeaky clean. Even if the person was in jail or something, they deserve an opportunity to prove that was the old me and now I’m someone else.

By Wise Diva

May 10, 2007 9:11 AM | Link to this

is it just me, or are all the comments showing up in italic print?

C tha 1, thanks for sharing your experience. That sounds like good advice, too. So, I take it if she was no longer in the industry, you wouldn’t have a problem dating her either?

By NoNonsense

May 10, 2007 9:16 AM | Link to this

I think those past secrets will only affect your potential mate depending on what he/she cares about. My hub always knew he would one day get married and have a team of kids and that’s what he set out to do. When we became friends I told him about different guys that I dated and whatnot and he never had issue with any of it. When we started trying to have kids it was only after my third failed pregnancy that I told him about the abortion that I had when I was in college. That caused a rift in our relationship and to me that seemed pretty hypocritical when he had already said he would never judge me for my past. We did get over that hurdle but he said that he would have like to have known that before we were married. I asked him would he not have married me had he known and he said that he did not say that but he just would like to have known. That was eights years and four babies ago and I am glad I did not tell him before getting married.

By T-Mango

May 10, 2007 9:19 AM | Link to this

Good morning all.

Ouch… This is a hot topic.

Everyone has a past. Some folks subscribe very strongly to ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ as a personal policy. To me…all this means is “I have a secret”. I wouldn’t want anyone telling me negative things about my SO’s past when I visit his hometown or interact in different social circles. If he’s got a secret, then he should tell me if I’m his SO and we’re very serious. 1.) If I find out from another source (especially another woman) 2.) Depending on what it is…it could be a dealbreaker for he & I.

I’m in Lurksville, GA…

By Cee

May 10, 2007 9:20 AM | Link to this

Good Thursday morning I dated a guy who was a stripper/dancer. He told me he did it when he was younger-in his early 20’s when he was going thru some hard times. I was shocked since I know there are male strippers for females and male strippers for men. to my relief it was females he danced for but it didn’t change the fact that I just couldn’t look at him the same. I couldn’t see past him being an erotic dancer undressing infront of a room full of women. He said he made a lot of money since males strippers was a big demand.

By Dr. Kym Relationship Expert

May 10, 2007 9:20 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

I think that should be a she/he has a past. There are some men with past too. While it maybe acceptable in society for a man to have dated and had sex with the entire population of Tonga. It is still a health concern..well for me anyway.

But since we are talking about your friend Wisey…here is my say…

Dr Kym Says: If that person is comfortable enough with their past life..meaning…they can take personal responsiblity for the choices they made and are willing to live with them and they are no longer practicing that lifestyle..then why shouldnt they be afforded a opportunity to find Mr. Right?

Now, on the other hand if they are currently in that lifestyle (stripper, porn star) and they are comfortable with their career choice…then the problem is not really with them…the problem lies in the lap of the person they are dating. That person has to say yes…I accept your life choice or nawwwwwwwwwwwww I can’t deal with this.

By Cassie

May 10, 2007 9:21 AM | Link to this

Of course I have to add to this one.

The numbers game, eh? Some men seem to think that high numbers are a cool thing and a symbol of their studliness.

However, if they meet a guy with high numbers they are repulsed. Why?

I mean, if I’m in the hay with someone I don’t stop and start to get all paranoid wondering whom they learned that particular trick from. Heck no! I’m merely glad that they learned!!

Anyway, I’ve slept with both genders and I DO NOT TELL people unless I am especially close to them. Some men find the bi thing to be completely fascinating, and spend lots o time trying to hook you up with all their female friends.

Yes, I will freely admit that I’ve slept with lots of people - more women than men. And most of my men were one time things (as in, not ever invited back for a repeat performance - I lost my virginity at seventeen and that was so bad and painful I didn’t do “it” again for a year!) So somehow I don’t ever buy the argument that my high people low occurence count is nearly as bad as your high people high occurrence.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

May 10, 2007 9:33 AM | Link to this

Morning ALL!! Hey Kinderbabe, Lady J, SlimOne, SJ, Jake, abc, QC, GAMan and the rest of the crew.

Lady J I feel your pain. You and I have a lot in common. I often ask people “why didnt ya’ll tell me this about marriage?” And I tell my mom on a regular that being a grown up sucks sometimes!! LOL I notice than when you get engaged most people give you the “happy” advice (communicate, be best friends, dont go to be angry, etc). Nobody tells you what to do when you are ready to throw someone under a bus!! LOL In other words its like most people provide the fairy tale but no real life (at least for me). I felt completely blindsided by a lot of things, but you live and learn. The next go round will be much better..

On topic…everybody has a past, its just whether you can deal with knowing or not. We all have to remember that everyone has their “dealbreakers”. You are not wrong for admitting that some things you cant deal with.

By C tha 1

May 10, 2007 9:44 AM | Link to this

WD don’t get me wrong, I’ll date a stripper now, I don’t discriminate. But dating a stripper is a little different than dating a woman who doesn’t strip for apparent reasons. At the same time, I’ve dated women who were off the chain, and looked down on strippers (I didn’t get thier logic, but oh well).

By SeanJohnson

May 10, 2007 9:47 AM | Link to this

Sup Blog..regarding the topic…EVERYBODY has skeletons..not just adult enterainers….with todays technology …camera video phones..camcorders.web cams…some of us may be adult entertainers and NOT even know it…its best to go into a friendship being non judgemental of someones sxual past. Like C1.. i dealt with a few strippers..wouldnt call it dating..what i learned is..they are going/been through the same trials and tribulations as any other female its just the profession they chose may be linked to how they deal with the situation. its always best to be straight up and honest and give someone the option to choose whether they wanna stay in your life..A LOT of men like to put their main lady on a pedestal and think she shouldnt do certain acts yet he will do/have a side piece those things…I agree with women ..some men cant always handle some females real desires so females keep them as skeletons..so its best to find the person u are most compatible with…u have to communicate..

By SlimOne

May 10, 2007 9:49 AM | Link to this

ATL Lady I think an even better song would be Mario Winan’s I Don’t Wanna Know

I don’t wanna know

If your playin me, keep it on the low

Cause my heart can’t take it anymore

And if your creepin, please don’t let it show

Oh baby, I don’t wanna know

By For Real

May 10, 2007 9:51 AM | Link to this

What up Blog Fam!!!

This ITALIC ish is giving me a headache..

On Topic: I have a confession to make. I made a mistake in my 20’s. I slipped up and made 3,802 adult movies.

Wise I would like to volunteer next time and I don’t mind if you varify that I am a man so long as I get to verify my sources about you.

Big Fan Ummm never, ever, ever mention clinic, test, and positive or negative in the same sentence. You gonna have the MLB running for cover…

Oh and BTW, STRIPPER ARE CRAZY!!!!!

By Lady J

May 10, 2007 9:52 AM | Link to this

@C tha 1…That is the thing, I don’t look down on a stripper…I don’t judge them…They are working…I just chose to do another profession…Am I better than her bc I teach and she strip…No, not at all…But when choices are made beyond stripping that is where it is complicated especially the experimenting thing…Men want the cake and to eat it to…They want the good girl and the bad one behind close doors…Women are just looked at differently when they attempt to play the man’s game and do what they do…It’s life and I sure can’t change it…My thoughts…

By Island Girl

May 10, 2007 9:53 AM | Link to this

Morning Errrrybordy

This topic will definitely bring out the flames today.

A scene from the movie “Titanic” comes to my mind….when the old lady throws the diamond necklace overboard into the sea and lets out a faint gasp…like “oh well”- and says “woman’s heart /past can be as deep as the ocean”(at least it with something like that).

I think out of love and respect for you’re SO there are certain things you should share especially if your past will have adverse affects on your present relationship. Things like a past occupation (ie drug dealer, prostitute), traumatic experiences (ie been assaulted or abused) should be discussed.

You have to decide if sharing some of your experiences with your SO is the right thing to do. Personally I don’t think I need to write a resume of my past experiences and hand that over to my SO, but there are certain things in my past he must know in order to really understand me as the person I am today.

By Lady J

May 10, 2007 9:55 AM | Link to this

@SeanJohnson…So true!!! Great Post!!!

By The Truth

May 10, 2007 9:55 AM | Link to this

Good morning bloggers. This one is going to be fun.

First, I’ve dated women that stripped (the typical I stripped in college thing) and it was cool, but I also knew it wasn’t going anywhere. I just wouldn’t make long term plans with someone like that. Past performance is a great indicator of future potential. Ladies, how would you feel if your man said he had slept with a guy in the past, but only once. You’d know that was a part of his makeup. Its just not something that I want in my life.

On the multiple partners tip, once again a major flaw. She may say its in the past but when she’s married up and times get rough, and they will, she’s going right back to what she knows. 100% Now if your comfortable with your girl boning other fellas then she’s a keeper. I personally like a woman that has at least tried to preserve themselves. Not virginlike but not a seasoned veteran of the sex wars either.

Biff summed it up well in that you’re gonna pay for it everyday. Can you imagine the emotional rollercoaster a chick would be on after a few years of being passed around and then trying to settle into life a Mr/Mrs? I’m not a therapist.

By melo

May 10, 2007 9:56 AM | Link to this

Pasts are deal breakers for the most part.Both men and women must be able to ‘hide’ their past or at least ensure that we do not hear about it. That means vene those people who knew you from long ago, your family and friends must honor the silent code of conduct.

As for me, I am too sensitive to hear about your erotic past that if I were to get wind of it, its done!!Same to my skeletons…they have been buried in some deep 6ft ravines and nobody in my family dares bring that shyt up at ALL!!

By MusingLee

May 10, 2007 9:58 AM | Link to this

Morn’in All,

Wise We all have a past…But if you have a fk up past…I really need to know…I don’t want you hanging out with me a I get blindsided.

Musing out with friends

Musing: Hey all this is Ebony.

Gang: Hey Ebony what’s up.

Dude that always watching porn: Ahhhhhhhh, Dayummmm Musing you neva told me you were dating “Chocolate Diva”!!!

Musing: WTF

Dude: Yeah she won the “Movie Freak Award” in 2006…I beat my ishh all the time to that broad!!!

Musing: WTFFFFFF

Musing now passing the fk out

By Lady J

May 10, 2007 10:05 AM | Link to this

You men are a trip…You can bone all day but when she tells you she is a boner you don’t want her…What gives…It takes two to act..How are men the judgement call decision makers…Wow! I know I need 4 blog vest but anyway…YALL AIGN”T RIGHT!!!

By Cassie

May 10, 2007 10:06 AM | Link to this

The italics are doing my head in.

By For Real

May 10, 2007 10:06 AM | Link to this

Look if I am serious with a lady I want to know. It is my decision just like it is your decision to choose to whom you will be with. No-nonsense I would have been mad at you as well. As GA.Man has said a 1,000 times don’t lie own up to past. Tell the truth and stop being so selfish.

By SlimOne

May 10, 2007 10:09 AM | Link to this

SeanJ Your post was on point. I personally don’t see why a dude wouldn’t want to be able to explore his fantasies with his main SO as apposed to the side piece. I think that’s where some folks begin to have problems. If you can get down like that with each other, there shouldn’t be any reason to go elsewhere. And I learned a long time ago not to put my SO on a pedestal because it’s a long way down. I want to be totally comfortable telling my SO that i like my ankles licked, batman turns me on, or whatever the case maybe.

disclaimer: the above turn-ons aren’t necessarily the turn-ons of SlimOne.

By Cassie

May 10, 2007 10:09 AM | Link to this

I think my final comment for today might be (since a girl’s gotta work)….

If you cheated in the past (and I don’t mean once but repeatedly), I’m not sure I want to know. Honestly? I’d never, ever trust you and each time I called and you didn’t answer the phone….I’d be wondering whose vagina you’d fallen into (thanks to Q100 this am)! And that’s a horrid feeling.

By C tha 1

May 10, 2007 10:10 AM | Link to this

As I mentioned earlier, my best friend works at Starship, and what I’ve come to find out is that the store unintentionally serves as a gateway to the porn industry, and that alot of porn movies are shot in the A. I guess that shouldn’t be a surprise, but the funny thing that happens is the double life some people live.

Nowadays you have to be concerned about if your SO’s past resurfaces on the internet through a Myspace pic or something like that. That leads to my question for the blog: What would you do if a past compromising pic of your SO(that you didn’t know existed) surfaced on the internet? Pending on the severity, could you stomach it?

By Dr. Kym Relationship Expert

May 10, 2007 10:13 AM | Link to this

Based on today’s topic I couldnt resist posting this….

Oral Sex linked to throat cancer.

A virus contracted through oral sex is the cause of some throat cancers, say US scientists. HPV infection was found to be a much stronger risk factor than tobacco or alcohol use, the Johns Hopkins University study of 300 people found.

The New England Journal of Medicine study said the risk was almost nine times higher for people who reported oral sex with more than six partners.

The John Hopkins study took blood and saliva from 100 men and women newly diagnosed with oropharyngeal cancer which affects the throat, tonsils and back of the tongue. They also asked questions about sex practices and other risk factors for the disease, such as family history. Those who had evidence of prior oral HPV infection had a 32-fold increased risk of throat cancer.

HPV infection is the cause of the majority of cervical cancers, and 80% of sexually active women can expect to have an HPV infection at some point in their lives.

Most HPV infections clear with little or no symptoms but a small percentage of people who acquired high-risk strains may develop a cancer, the researchers added.

By Wise Diva

May 10, 2007 10:13 AM | Link to this

I am checking on the italic invasion with the blog master. Bear with us, THANKS!

By abc

May 10, 2007 10:13 AM | Link to this

You can bone all day but when she tells you she is a boner you don’t want her and you think that’s ‘not right’? How about promisucity being wrong no matter who’s involved? This from the chick who thinks there’s nothing wrong with being a stripper. Go figure.

By For Real

May 10, 2007 10:14 AM | Link to this

Ebony: Musing you ok… here let me help you up.. baby he lying that wasn’t me that was R. Kelley

Musing: WTF, passes out again……

By BlatinoBrutha -

May 10, 2007 10:17 AM | Link to this

Sup, BlogFam!! What’s with all the italics???

I’m diving in head first on this one. As the resident Captain Save-a-h** of this Blog, I gotta just be honest n say it really depends on how and when you find out. I have been and am currently involved with a girl with a past, but I knew it going in, and I’m ok with it. We as men just have to be honest and admit that if we find ourselves lady/freak combo, chances are she was a freak before we met. And I know a lot of men like the concept of having a good girl and wouldn’t want to think of their woman as a past freak, but I look at it like this: Which takes a bigger man, making a good girl fall in love, or taming the wild beast, and because you’re that much better than all the rest, making her say she wants to stick with you????

By Cassie

May 10, 2007 10:19 AM | Link to this

Dr Kym I wonder if Gardasil protects against throat cancer too?

By Lady J

May 10, 2007 10:19 AM | Link to this

@abc…What is the point you are making again?

By For Real

May 10, 2007 10:20 AM | Link to this

Lady J Heyyyy. Now, it’s a matter of choice. It’s not about judging. The question is, Is it right or wrong for a person to have multiple sex partners?

By Lady J

May 10, 2007 10:21 AM | Link to this

My pooint it it is a double standard (meaning women sleeping aroound) abc and whoever else…It is not right and what is wrong with stripping? It has been around before I even entered this world and not going anywhere…so again what are you saying?

By For Real

May 10, 2007 10:22 AM | Link to this

Slim In your disclaimer you said “aren’t necessarily” that mean one of those turn-ons are real. I hope its Batman please, please, please….

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

May 10, 2007 10:23 AM | Link to this

People can change— i’m sure all of us have done something in our past whether once or a mulitple time but wouldn’t dare do it now. I agree certain thing should be reval about your past only if they will have an outlook on your future with potential SO but something are best left alone because some people can’t see pass somethings.it’s almost like “what i don’t know can’t hurt me”

@ Sean Johnson great post!!- not sure of your age but your are very mentally mature— i like that!!

By SeanJohnson

May 10, 2007 10:26 AM | Link to this

@ Slim..females are guilty of that also…trust me… as a man..females are WAAAAAAAY more sxually adventurous and experimental than men…but u would be surprised of how their men dont know or have brought it out. A lot of women are afraid of how their man would view them if they just be themselves sxually…even on the blog..a lot of the women will say something that some may deem as risque but will do it under a different name….

By The Truth

May 10, 2007 10:27 AM | Link to this

Lady J relax babe, the rules aren’t fair. What we know, and man has know from the dawn of time, is that a woman who will give herself away to every dude out there is just that, a woman that will give herself to every dude out there. Don’t despair, there are guys out there that will allow you to bone other guys, some even while your married, they too have low self esteem. Its all about what you want in life. Check ot this scenario: Your wife comes home and tells you she’s pregnant. This should be a happy moment but in the back of your head your thinking because of her past I’m going to need to test and make sure its mine. Thats screwed up but we are our past.

Slim1 I have Batman Begins on DVD. Just throwing that out there. LOL Also, if your girl has already done everything there’s nothing left to try together, except being apart.

Melo did you catch the end of yesterdays topic? Spend a moment and read through that please. Demi that was my very next question. How old are you?

By SlimOne

May 10, 2007 10:27 AM | Link to this

BlatinoBrutha Which takes a bigger man, making a good girl fall in love, or taming the wild beast, and because you’re that much better than all the rest, making her say she wants to stick with you??? Didn’t you just say something yesterday that gave the impression you might not be able to tame a beast in bed saying all of your past conquests sucked in bed or was that someone else?

By Lady J

May 10, 2007 10:28 AM | Link to this

I know For Real it is a choice but you can’t ignore that women are judge by these actions when they step out the box…We can’t pretend that does not occur and again it is not right!!!! That is my point!

By For Real

May 10, 2007 10:29 AM | Link to this

MsU but something are best left alone because some people can’t see pass somethings. That’s the point. You made a choice to do the things in your past. Now let the person make the choice if he wants to be with you like that or not. No took your choice away when you made your decision in the past. So don’t take away your SO’s choice now.

By abc

May 10, 2007 10:30 AM | Link to this

I’d think my points are rather plain, but just the same, I’ll spell it out.

By Atl Lady

May 10, 2007 10:33 AM | Link to this

Slim One I agree, but he was still in denial. He knows what he’s dealing, don’t like it, and don’t want to let go either. Blatino So glad you took up the save-a-** cause. lol lol. Where’s your partner in crime Jake?

By Island Girl

May 10, 2007 10:33 AM | Link to this

Cassie

You should “want to know if your SO is a cheater”. Cheaters are the most manipulative people out there…and they lie about everything…not just the relationship.

I dated a cheater and it was terrible. He slept with a colleague of a close friend of mine. My friend came back and told me what was going on and I confronted him about it. I dropped him like a bad habit.

The worst part of the situation is…although the chick he cheated with was not my friend, but she was not a complete stranger to me. We were often in the same circle, meaning we hung out together…that is just nasty and disrespectful to me.

By QueDogTeaching

May 10, 2007 10:34 AM | Link to this

Said while getting up off of the floor after reading Musing’s post.

I agree that everyone has a past, but I also agree that you should be able to talk about your past. Not just for the sake of someone being in your business, but it should let the other person know that you have grown the h3ll up. Should any of us really still be doing the exact same things that we did in our late teens – early twenty’s? (Heck no) So there has to be some form of parity in every relationship.

I do agree that you should not have to write a book about your life, but I do feel that if you are on a topic and that topic relates directly to you then you should speak up. For me its not what I find out, it’s when I find out (Ex. Musing’s post) . A lot of times women, if you and your mate are having a conversation if you just say yes that has happened to me, and get it off your chest then things would go easier.

@ Dr. Kym God bless chemo.

By Lady J

May 10, 2007 10:34 AM | Link to this

Okay Truth, thanks I will but hey it’s not right but anyway…Will go back to writing my IEPs…LOL

By For Real

May 10, 2007 10:37 AM | Link to this

LadyJ I don’t believe it is judging. Everyone has the right to decide what will or will not accept. Like you said you don’t judge stripper but it’s not something you would do.

It’s like women who don’t date short men. Are women judging Demi or are they trying to figure out how in the hell am I going to be able to get into the passenger side of a civic sitting on 26’s?

By Lady J

May 10, 2007 10:40 AM | Link to this

@abc, It is not a problem but an opinion and I respect yours…My point is to each their own whatever they chose to do in life…Everything you sated is your opinion not facts…So again I respect that! End of conversation!

By GA.man

May 10, 2007 10:43 AM | Link to this

You know it all boils down to what you want and can put up with…..ladies there are men her in the A who would love you to death…and some who would love you to death(SEE OJ) no matter what you have done….

it might hit them as a surprise to hear some of the things you have done…but would you rather them hear it from you or get caught off guard

EBONY: MUsing….wake up…Musing

Musing wakes up hearing R Kelly’s (Trapped in the closet song)

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

May 10, 2007 10:45 AM | Link to this

For Real I agree with you, we all have a right to decide what we will or wont accept. We would be lying to ourselves if we didnt, thus causing unecessary drama later on in a relationship.

QDT I am co-signing your post with my gold feather tipped pen!! You said exactly what I was thinking….but it should let the other person know that you have grown the h3ll up…

By The Truth

May 10, 2007 10:45 AM | Link to this

Slim1 that was Melo that said that.

Blat aka Capt save a ho your not going to save a ho, we’re gonna lose a good bruh. I don’t know how deep that thing is but I wish you luck with it, your gonna need it.

By kinderbabe

May 10, 2007 10:48 AM | Link to this

nice post sj.:)

as far as the high horse that some are choosing to ride (no names mentioned), people who are/were prostitutes or adult entertainers, true enough, may have had difficulty w/moral compass and self-esteem. however, it should be considered that there are many scenarios that lead to people making those types of choices in their life. every woman in the adult entertainment industry is not a money hungry b*tch. there are many who have had experiences which skewed their perception on where their worth lies. anyone who can get over that hump and move on to a more fulfilling life deserves a second chance and respect. i have worked with women (through volunteering) who are former prostitutes. they’ve been through a lot! judgment and name calling is the last thing they need. i know that it’s all about preference…i’m not advocating everyone put themselves in a situation w/a woman who has that kind of past..i’m just saying that we need to be more understanding of people and their circumstances. even jesus didn’t go around calling folks out of their name. he met people where they were and encouraged them to live from the highest part of themselves. have a heart.:)

By SlimOne

May 10, 2007 10:53 AM | Link to this

SeanJ Some women very well maybe be a little more risque than the guy. Women aren’t always forthcoming with things they’ve done for fear of the Scarlett letter brand or being outcast into exile. I don’t think a person should be characterized as a ho or freak just because she’s sexually open-minded…UNLESS She’s into beastiality or something gross like that.

Question How do men prefer a women suggest or bring up something new to try in the bedroom without the man getting all paranoid about her being a ‘freak’ or wondering who all she did that with before? Men I really can’t wait to see the response on that

For Real I only have 2 questions. 1. Do you own a batman suit?

If so,

The Truth um…just having the dvd ain’t enough dawg. lol

QUE I agree that you can’t make a total character assessment just going on all the things you’ve done in the past. Growing up entails experimenting, messing up, making dumb decisions, letting 68 dudes run a train on you (only kidding!!!) but hey, you were young and dumb….you went through it and hopefully matured since then. Now if you’re STILL acting like you’re 16 then that definitely is a problem i wouldn’t want to deal with.

By GA.man

May 10, 2007 10:54 AM | Link to this

Musing jumps off the ground and runs toward his Super Honda Civic crying all the way….”I knew she was tooooo good to be true” (now he is beating the sterring wheel) and turns the radio on and hears Chris Brown

Never a right time to say goodbye… But we know we gotta go our separate wayyyyyss..it it’s and it’s killing never a right time a right time to say goooooddbbyyyyeee but i gotta make the first move cause if i dont you gonna start hating…..

By SlimOne

May 10, 2007 10:56 AM | Link to this

Truth oops my bad. Sorry Blatino disregard.

By Lady J

May 10, 2007 10:57 AM | Link to this

Great Post Kinderbabe!

By GA.man

May 10, 2007 10:59 AM | Link to this

Slim she should tell dude like ol girl did Martin in **Thin line between love and hate

Crazy a** ladyy:While climbing on top of dude

Dude: Baby you said you wanted to talk

CAL: shhh..wait a minute aaahhh now what i was going to say was that i am a stripper and i love doing it

Dude:(Eyes rolled to back of his head)Ok

CAL:You ok with this then

Dude: Yes !!!! yES!!!!!

By For Real

May 10, 2007 11:08 AM | Link to this

Slim Why yes I do and I look like a SUPERHERO.

How do men prefer a women suggest or bring up something new to try in the bedroom without the man getting all paranoid about her being a ‘freak’ or wondering who all she did that with before?

Well if you have been conservative in the bedroom throughout the duration of your relationship, I wouldn’t suggest you all of sudden breakout your Catwoman suit (including the mask and whip) without warning him first. That’s assuming you have a Catwoman suit with the mask and whip. You do have a Catwomen suit with the mask and whip don’t you? don’t you???

By SlimOne

May 10, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this

GA.man So basically you’re saying to go ahead and bring it up as you’re doing it?

CAL: ooohh baby, you’re gonna love me today.

Dude: yes! i’m lovin you already.Mmmm

CAL: no babe, i have a treat for you.You ain’t felt nothing yet. I got this idea from Sue Johansen on Oxygen Channel.

Dude: (feels a cool liquid run down his back to the crack of his azz) WTF are you doing?

CAL: baby just relax. You won’t be disappointed.

Dude: (now hears loud buzzing) You done lost your dayum mind!

(dude hops up and runs towards front door but liqiud causes his to slip and falls on hardwood floor knocking himself unconcious. He wakes up feeling highly relaxed but can’tunderstand why his azz is sore. He looks up at CAL and she’s smiling ear-to-ear)

By SlimOne

May 10, 2007 11:17 AM | Link to this

For Real You have me cracking up over here. Well I started looking for one around last Halloween but i couldnt find one small enought to fit my frame but that had extra room for my camel toe. LOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So unfortunately all i have is the mask, whip and stilettos. lol

By GA.man

May 10, 2007 11:17 AM | Link to this

LOLOLOL you a fool slim

By kinderbabe

May 10, 2007 11:18 AM | Link to this

blatino just read your 10:17 post…good points.:)

By Raqi

May 10, 2007 11:18 AM | Link to this

SlimOne if you have something you are desiring to do with your guy or maybe just to see what he is into, the next time you are with him make a joke about what it is you want to do. You’ll know from his reaction whether or not it’s safe to move forward.

(Now you know I have an example, but I won’t go there.)

By GA.man

May 10, 2007 11:18 AM | Link to this

Dude now singing that song from UNCLE SAM: i dont ever wanna see you again…….

By For Real

May 10, 2007 11:19 AM | Link to this

Slim For the record… I AM EXIT ONLY

For Real now looking for his Bat Boots with the Super Grip…

By DuShawn

May 10, 2007 11:19 AM | Link to this

slim “How do men prefer a women suggest or bring up something new to try in the bedroom”. Just say it!! As long as it does not involve my azz hole, I’m with it. On topic I never cared much about a females past. If she has not been with any of my friends, she has a clean slate with me. Personally, I prefer females with a little hood in them. The green, goodie two shoes types bore the hell out of me. I have been close friends with several strippers. I used to take them to work, watch them move work, take them to the crib and split the proceeds. But that’s part of my own sordid past.

By Cassie

May 10, 2007 11:19 AM | Link to this

Island Girl

Sometimes though it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. If you expect someone to cheat and are constantly monitoring them so you can “catch” them - you end up driving them away.

Now that I’m older, I’d rather know than not….unfortunately at this point in my life I’ve developed great instincts…

Also…lots of talk about ho’s and strippers…..

I gotta ask, though…if they are so morally objectionable, what does that say about their CLIENTELE????

By kinderbabe

May 10, 2007 11:19 AM | Link to this

slim hilarious!!! lol

By SeanJohnson

May 10, 2007 11:19 AM | Link to this

@ Slim..depends ..i think the best way to get a good response ….is to set the mood…dim lights..maybe candles..a lil lingerie..wine..get a zane book or some type of erotica book and read a story to the dude ..and make sure the story describes what u want to try in detail…then after u read the story …if its not obvious…just tell me thats what u want to try..

By Jake...Captain Cool

May 10, 2007 11:22 AM | Link to this

dunt, dunta, duuuuunnn

What up ya’ll.
Hey ATL Lady, here I am, and Save-a-h@E and me don’t belong in the same sentence…LOL.

On the past issues, tell me whats happening. I have nothin against strippers, adult entertainers, or freaks in general, but I don’t want one on my arm. I was pickin through and SeanJ sent a good point, but follow it with with some crazy ish, I’ll paste the good part.

A LOT of men like to put their main lady on a pedestal and think she shouldnt do certain acts

Your lady deserves a pedestal, and should be freakin you how you like, but you don’t want to know that she has done this for any and everybody.

Truth Be told:

I do not want a woman who has had as many partners as I have, I am nowhere near Wilt Chamberlain numbers, but I ain’t no novice either. I have had what I consider a fair share.

Hypocritical, yes, but so what? ( I’m ready for the backlash too…lol)

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

May 10, 2007 11:22 AM | Link to this

@ For real aka no mercy

I wonder what kind of skeleton you have in your closet???

@ The Truth We are not our past… Well maybe you but you can’t speak for everyone..

By BlatinoBrutha -

May 10, 2007 11:22 AM | Link to this

Truth, mane, i feel ya. I still do me just enough to not be completely caught up.

By The Truth

May 10, 2007 11:22 AM | Link to this

Dr Kym just read your 1013. this thing is getting real scary. You know they also have a super strain of syphillis or gonorhea (spelled wrong).

Slim1 the truth is running out to costume store for a batman suit (extra tight in the crotch area to enhance the bulge). The best way to bring up something is just say its something you’ve thought about and would like to try it with them. Simple.

Ok, for the ladies that feel guys should overlook there past indiscretions, would you overlook a guys past if he had 4 children that he didn’t take care of when he was young and didn’t know better but is now a better person for having gone through that? I didn’t think so. This is all about personal choices. If you are ok with your girl being a jump off or the only chick at a gangbang, have at it. If your ok with your guy having slept with ALL of your girlfriends, cool. Its just not something I want in my life. But then again I don’t want, HPV, HIV, illegitimate kids, and a whole lotta of other things too. This is all about choices.

By b.o.o.h.o.o.

May 10, 2007 11:24 AM | Link to this

“Actions which are indicative of low morals and low self-image such as being a stripper, hooker, etc. are character issues which aren’t likely to go away.” Does this mean that WATCHING

“I personally like a woman that has at least tried to preserve themselves. Not virginlike but not a seasoned veteran of the sex wars either.” and I guess you are the one to make that very personal discrimination of where the line is drawn? Are you applying the same standards to yourself?

“the emotional rollercoaster a chick would be on after a few years of being passed around” passed around? I hope she is choosing her partners…what it did for me was make it clear that good sex doesn’t equal a good partner, and helped me know what it is I want! smoothed things out rather than the opposite. Are you on an emotional roller coaster after passing yourself around???

By b.o.o.h.o.o.

May 10, 2007 11:28 AM | Link to this

you guys and your double standards…

“Actions which are indicative of low morals and low self-image such as being a stripper, hooker, etc. are character issues which aren’t likely to go away.” does this apply to WATCHING porn, paying strippers, and going to prostitutes? Must be a lot of men out there with low morals and a low self-image (big surprise) More likely other character issues which aren’t likely to go away.

“I personally like a woman that has at least tried to preserve themselves. Not virginlike but not a seasoned veteran of the sex wars either.” and who exactly determines this very fine line? You? are you up to such a scrutiny from your woman?

“the emotional rollercoaster a chick would be on after a few years of being passed around” passed around? I hope these women are making the choice of who they are sleeping with. Are you on a rollercoaster after passing yourself around? Personally, “sleeping around” gave me insight into what I want and who I want it from; cleared some things up, rather than the opposite.

By abc

May 10, 2007 11:29 AM | Link to this

boohoo, I would definitely say that to participate as clientele of strippers, porn, and prostitution is similarly indicative of character problems as the strippers, porn stars and hookers have.

By Island Girl

May 10, 2007 11:30 AM | Link to this

Slim Your a mess… why is his butt hurting??

Did you give him a wedgy or did you let his butt say “hello” to your little bullet head friend? …lololol

By abc

May 10, 2007 11:31 AM | Link to this

..and I daresay we certainly ARE our past. We are defined not so much by our thoughts as by our actions.

By DuShawn

May 10, 2007 11:32 AM | Link to this

abc Man……loosen up…dayum!

By GA.man

May 10, 2007 11:36 AM | Link to this

Storms will comeee …this we know for sureeee..can you stand the rain….love unconditionalllll…i’m not asking just of you…girl to make it last..i’ll do whatevr needs to be done…..

By SlimOne

May 10, 2007 11:37 AM | Link to this

Raqi that would be a great suggestion. I personally don’t have a problem expressing my wants but in a society where men seem to look down on sexually open women, i just wanted opinions on how would they like their lady to suggest things. After all they claim they want a freak in the bedroom. You definitely have my interest peaked with your example though LOLOLOL!

For Real that’s good to know. I don’t want to make it an entrance…LOL! But you know sometimes a big engine, speed, and skills on the road can turn a potential Cat Woman on. So do you have a batmobile to go with those Bat boots?

@DuShawn with his lady in the store

D: I just don’t know why i had to come to the store with you. I thought you had to tell me something.

DL: I do babe but i’m not sure how you’ll take it. I’m thinking salad tonight.

D: okay?

DL: ooh baby check out how big these cucumbers are.

D: why you holding it like that?

DL: well that’s what i’m trying to tell you. I think we need to keep our sex life fresh.

D: babe, are you kidding me? I’m all for keeping it fresh but dayum, fresh vegetables?!!!

DL: but baby it’s organic. I was thinking fresh fruit/vegetables…organic would lead to Orgasmic! So what cha think, you down?

(Dushawn faints….heard over the loudspeaker): We have a code red in produce, code red in produce.

By Pharress_Beuller

May 10, 2007 11:40 AM | Link to this

What’s up BLOG FAM??!!

Long time, no Blog…I see it’s still on up in here. This topic is crazy, p0rn star! Me personally…couldn’t do it. Too many possibilities of this coming up. I know we all have past, but just in my experiences (as well as friends of mine) women with backgrounds like this have a LOT of issues when it comes to men that will only get worse down the line. Having a past is to be expected, but having an extreme past as this is a hard pill to swallow. I take my hat off to any guy that can deal with it, but just because he can deal with it today…how will he deal with it down the line…or if kids get involved, how will they deal with it, if it ever comes to light about mommy’s past.

It’s 2021 and little Billy’s friend gives him a old DVD from the early 2000’s and little Billy watches it and low and behold…mommy’s starring in Brain Nurses of ATL. Now, little Billy’s traumatized and has issues with women.

Not saying this will happen, but they say your past can come back and bite…well that would be like JAWS taking a bite out of ya azz.

By Ladylike

May 10, 2007 11:42 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All, Great Topic Wise and Red Khezu.

Some things you never want to tell, but I’ve learn from experience that he will found out that sooner or later, it will be known. You can’t keep a secret no matter how hard you try. So I’m open, I can talk about myself better than another person can talk about me. The skeletons in my closet can be my best experiences or my worst nightmares. And I’m sure any guy I meet will also have some secrets to share.

By Lady J

May 10, 2007 11:42 AM | Link to this

Now GA.man…That is my joint!!! That song says it all!!!

By Cassie

May 10, 2007 11:46 AM | Link to this

BooHoo Dead on, my friend, dead on.

Those of you who want your women to remain somewhat pure…the next time you are getting bad h*ad or she won’t get off her back, remind yourself of what you just said!

And watching strippers, or watching/reading porn, or visiting a prostitute is JUST as bad as being one. I actually think that women are the smarter ones there - men are dumb enough to pay to watch or pay to touch what they normally can get for free!

Girl Power!

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

May 10, 2007 11:46 AM | Link to this

@ The truth How you gon ask a questiona and answer it.. When you are a child you think, act like a child.

thank GOD you are NOT GOD.. Give it a break!! But for every woman you laid down with she took a part of you and you took a part of her so that would make yall both F-up…

I am 28yrs old and i have made plenty of mistakes and they are behind me now. and that where they will stay.

never dance or sold my body —for inquiry minds..

NExt… NOW WHAT!!!

By Lady J

May 10, 2007 11:48 AM | Link to this

Whatever abc that is a lie I am not my past I am a better person from it. It did not make me it taught me so whatever my dear ANGEL!!!!

By Tater

May 10, 2007 11:48 AM | Link to this

Ladylike… Thank you for the wisest posting so far.

By GA.man

May 10, 2007 11:48 AM | Link to this

* it says alot doesnt it*

Too many people give up on things or relationships too fast now a days..back in the day grandma and grandpa would work it out..it was just that simple..now you mess up one time you gotta go kick bricks

By b.o.o.h.o.o.

May 10, 2007 11:48 AM | Link to this

@DuShawn: very creativecute, and clean - you oughta write for tv or movies!

By GA.man

May 10, 2007 11:50 AM | Link to this

your hairrrr the perfume ..brings back memories of you and me….you look so fineeeee you blow my mind all over againnnnn…so muchhhhhhh has happened in my life since we parted…what about you…now i got myself together and i know what i wanttttt….rock meeee tonightttt for old timeessss sakeee…would you babyyyyyy….rooollll with me tonight for old timessss sake

By The Truth

May 10, 2007 11:51 AM | Link to this

BOOHOO come out from behind the curtains. That venom your spitting sounds familiar. Yes, I determine where that line is in regards to me. And yes I do apply that same standard to me. I’m trying to preserve my product so when I do meet smeone I find to be specail I can offer her more than some broke down dude with a bunch of horror stories and kids all over town. You sound like you’ve come out the other end of your sexscapades a little more bitter. Don’t be upset because after you’ve given up the skins to ev1 in the end your all lonely and chit. Are you doubting your worth now? I’m going to explain this for the last time. A guy can bone 10 women and go bowling. It can be totally physical, like working out. If you can do that then go ahead, but you wouldn’t be feeling like its obvious you do.

MsU every little thing you’ve ever done in your life has brought you to this moment so yes you are a sum of your past. You might not like some of it but its you.

By Lady J

May 10, 2007 11:52 AM |