Misadventures in Atlanta

By MochaTreat

July 16, 2007 8:18 AM | Link to this

Good morning Wise, Sexione, Kinder, Slim, QC, MO, GAman, Musing, Demi, LadyJ, NC, and crew I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!!!

Ladies, do you like a challenge when it comes to dating guys? yes, a mental challenge…or should I say he must be able to stimulate me mentally. Is Mr. Emotionally Unavailable really appealing to you? No, not in the least! Do you sometimes wish you can change the bad boy into the nice guy, in hopes that he will change for you? I wouldn’t want a guy to change for me…in order for it to have long lasting effect…he would need to change for him. I wouldn’t want a man trying to change me. I am who I am! My expereinces have help mold and shape me into the person that I am!

By SlimOne

July 16, 2007 8:20 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Errybody

Why do so many people think that nice is not sexy? Well as shallow as it may seem, most folks don’t want to be with someone they can walk all over & use as their doormat. It’s kind of hard to maintain respect for someone that allows you to treat them any kind of way.

Are single men and women conditioned to chase the bad girl or guy? I’m not sure if we’re conditioned perse, but it is possible. I guess the fact that most videos have some dude that looks like all he does is workout, wearing jeans and a ‘wife beater’ covered in tattoos might have a little bearing on it. Men are taught to be tough and not to show weakness so I guess the natural flow of things would be for a woman to try to find that strong man that will be able to protect her & the family at any given moment…not someone that will shun at confrontation when needed.

Ladies, do you like a challenge when it comes to dating guys? Is Mr. Emotionally Unavailable really appealing to you? Do you sometimes wish you can change the bad boy into the nice guy, in hopes that he will change for you? Um, haven’t been in the dating world for very long but I simply am not into azzholes. I don’t want someone scared to open up and show emotion either. And the idea of changing someone into something else is childish. For the most part, folks change on their own accord.

I really didn’t think this thru before I had my coffee so we’ll see what everyone else thinks

Today’s blog breakfast consists of pancakes, french toast, turkey bacon, turkey sausage, bacon, eggs, toast, english muffins and fruit.

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

July 16, 2007 8:24 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Everybody!!

T-mango I like what you do for the community. When I get some free time i would like to volunteer.. Truth Did you get your pix?? On topics I prefer a combination of both GOOD/BAD. You know how SJ started off before he became x-rated. I must be honest i don’t won’t a guy to senistive and nice cause then i might question wether he is gay or not. I don’t want a thug either but he got to know when and how to put his foot down cause i am a handful myself and being the independent woman that I am i can and will become the dominant one if he is to passive.

By Sexione

July 16, 2007 8:34 AM | Link to this

Goodmorning Everybody!!

I think society is playing mind games on this one (like so many others). Nice is sexy (if he is otherwise sexy). No, nice alone doesn’t guarantee sexy (thats a whole ‘nother thing), but nice is attractive. Not many women want a rude dude, not for keeps anyway, thats just for the thrill of the moment (and even that doesn’t do it or me personally). Yes, I like a challenge, but not in a rude way….challenge me, or as Mocha said, stimulate me mentally. Mr. Unavailable is not appealing at all. And no, I definitely wouldn’t want to change a man…..he is who he is. I don’t know why men tend to think women want bad boys, I think its a combo of things……I’ll list them later.

By SlimOne

July 16, 2007 8:34 AM | Link to this

Church hugs to WLB & Butt grabs to the MLB….hello
Mocha,Mo,Sexi1,GA.man,Musing,SeanJ,For
Real,NC,Mochalatte,QCF,Demi,Foots,Truth…anyone I missed.

By Sexione

July 16, 2007 8:42 AM | Link to this

After reading Slim and MsUs (hey Ladies)posts, I remembered something, there’s a thin line between nice and wimpy.

Nice - good to me (and others), kind, understanding, not degrading or demeaning.

Wimpy - will not stand up, no willpower, no backbone, scary.

Did I miss anything?

By QC

July 16, 2007 8:48 AM | Link to this

Morning Bloggers

Hey Mocha, Mo, Slim1, SexyOne, MsU, GA.man, Demi, Musing, Sir Truth, Kinder, SJ3000, ForReal, err’body

Have a great day!!!!!

By G

July 16, 2007 8:49 AM | Link to this

I’m not sure of the exact reason of why we go for the bad guys/gals….maybe we’re conditioned to what we see on tv, or what society has battered us over the head with for generations.

On Flavor of Love/Charm School, the women were challenged to find the “renaissance man”. The renaissance man was a “quality-datable” guy, and the other guys were on parole, player, pushover, and professional (the 4ps’). None of the girls chose the renaissance man. All of them lost. Yeah, they’re Flavor-gals, but I don’t think non-flavor gals are that much different.

Choosing bad mates is like choosing bad food. You know it’s bad for you in the long run, but it tastes so good.

By SlimOne

July 16, 2007 8:51 AM | Link to this

Sexione That’s about right. Life is all about balance.

By SlimOne

July 16, 2007 8:56 AM | Link to this

G I saw that episode of Flava of Charm School. Woman may miss out on the ‘good guy’ because he may not be as forward as all the other P’s. Often times women are initially attracted to the ‘swagger’ that the other dudes have.

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

July 16, 2007 9:03 AM | Link to this

Hello Sexione yep you sum it up, Hey Slim,QC,Mocha* & *G

By GA.man AKA "Mr. Entertainment

July 16, 2007 9:05 AM | Link to this

Good morning QC,Slim,Sexione,Mocha,Ms.U how is everyone….doing

I hope you all had a grreatttt weekend….Blog Roses for the ladies of the WLB

Handdap…To the ALL Powerful MLB

need coffee..stayed up late watching tv…walking in all late…..then i got court today…i should know better…lol will be back in reference to the subject…Hey WISE

By Sexione

July 16, 2007 9:05 AM | Link to this

Slim thanks for the breakfast girl!! You’re right, balance is key….like MsU said, a combo of good and bad. That’s like the book sense vs. common (and street) sense. All of just one will not do, we need a balance of those things.

Ladies, why do you all think men think that we all want some bad boy, to treat us like dirt and run around in the streets? I’m sure part of it is prior experience, having seen or been with some misguided woman who kept going back to the abusive jerk, but we all know that doesn’t mean we all make those choices. So what is it really?

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

July 16, 2007 9:06 AM | Link to this

Morning Ya’ll Mo dragging in, trying to hold it together..folks are already conspiring to get on my bad side this morning. Bear with me ya’ll WOO-SAH

SlimOne thanks for breakfast.

Hair flip to the WLB and one arm hugs to the MLB

I’ll comment on topic later. Let me get it together and calm down first.

By Raqi

July 16, 2007 9:08 AM | Link to this

First of all we must stop assuming that “Nice” equates to “Pushover” or “Doormats”, because it doesn’t.

It is sad that some women say that they want to be treated right…like a woman should be treated…but when a guy is respectful and considerate he is labeled as a pushover rather than being nice. Make up your mind already.

I like having a nice guy who stands his ground as a man but still knows how to be caring.

By Foots

July 16, 2007 9:13 AM | Link to this

Good morning all. Hope everyone had a good weekend. What’s up Slim?

Often times women are initially attracted to the ‘swagger’ that the other dudes have.

Maybe it’s their confidence that women are attracted to. If you walk in the room like “I’m the ish”, half of the room will think you’re the ish without you even saying a word. If a man has that AND has it under control (meaning that he doesn’t use his power for evil), he can get very far with women.

By T-Mango

July 16, 2007 9:15 AM | Link to this

Good morning to the WLB and MLB

@MsU Thank you for your message. I can pass you some information if you’d like. Let me know.

On Topic:

Ladies, do you like a challenge when it comes to dating guys? No, I like a man that is intriguing and pleasant to be around. I do not like a person that is being bullheaded (I mean challenging) just because…Is Mr. Emotionally Unavailable really appealing to you? No, not at all… because he is in that place emotionally, he would be unable to meet my needs. Do you sometimes wish you can change the bad boy into the nice guy, in hopes that he will change for you? Being a bad boy doesn’t mean that he can’t be a nice guy. There are some guys that are thrill seekers that fall into the bad boy bucket based on their physical appearance and social connections. But, on the inside they are really nice people. However, if it has been confirmed by word & deed that a cat is “bad” in the sense that he doesn’t care about others or the world then my response is the following: you cannot change a man. He has to change himself and his life in his own time and on his own terms.

By MusingLee

July 16, 2007 9:17 AM | Link to this

Women are drawn to “Bad Boys” because they precieve these dudes as being able to Man up and protect them (having balls) and not being a pushover…However many Women fall for any ol’dude doing this. And in reality the dude could give a dayum about that particular chick…The “Nice Guy” has to learn there is a difference in being nice and a chump/pushover…..Sure I consider myself a nice guy but I don’t take ishh from anyone…Especially some know it all WLB….LOLOLOLOLOLOL

By Sexione

July 16, 2007 9:27 AM | Link to this

Foots good point!! When they have the power and know how/when to use it, it’s a beautiful thing! lol

Raqi yes, that’s that thin line I was talking about! How’ve you been?

Mo guurrrl, neva let ‘em see you sweat! woosaaahhhh

Hey GAman thanks for the rose…..my favorite flower.

By C tha 1

July 16, 2007 9:29 AM | Link to this

Morning everybody,once again I’m reading the WLB comments and shaking my head because its not that cut and dry with a woman. Basically, what women say and do tend to be completely different things.

Speaking from my POV women are attracted to bad boys … when they’re young. Its funny how women perceive arrogance as strength sometimes, or even a false bravado as strength. At the end of the day some women have a hard time judging the true character of a man. Ironically, men tend to pick up on what women judge as admirable male qualities and end up fronting and becoming something they are not…a fake thug.

O.K. I could go further, but I got a meeting.

By SlimOne

July 16, 2007 9:31 AM | Link to this

WLB You can thank the MLB for breakfast this morning. I paid for it using their petty cash. lol

Foots/MisU What’s happeninininin? :-D

Mo It’s only Monday so don’t let them get to you. Roll your eyes and keep it moving.

By abc

July 16, 2007 9:34 AM | Link to this

A friend of mine used to always go for ‘bad boys’. Lately she tells me she’d be interested in blue collar, likes to drink beer and hang out, not as smart as she is, easy to entertain types. That aren’t losers. I say, what?! She’s 43 and never married, in spite of being gorgeous. Go figure; I think her own perspective on who and what she wants will make her an old maid, if she’s not already.

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

July 16, 2007 9:34 AM | Link to this

@T-Mango Sure swshmk@gmail.com

By SlimOne

July 16, 2007 9:36 AM | Link to this

Gaman mail call

C tha 1 Are you bitter towards women right now?

By SeanJohnson3000

July 16, 2007 9:36 AM | Link to this

Sup Blog….regarding the topic…kinda glad the young cats Chris Brown and NeYo..although i think he has sugar in his tank and looks like a gay baby from cash money…are successful in their music careers..gives the young and very impressionable girls an alternative to gold and platinum fronts and dreads and the whole badboy thug image….it helps the young cats too…showing them its okay to dress clean from the norm of big t shirts and baggy jeans and to be respectful to women. Its so many grown women never really been treated like a lady and with respect so when i nice guy comes along…they dont know how to take it or find it attractive..

@MsU..i try to be balanced..sometimes its profanity ..adult situations and nudity..and sometimes i am pg 13….you are a grown woman..dont act like u cant handle both..

By Sexione

July 16, 2007 9:37 AM | Link to this

Okay, so what about the men that always seem to pick the bad girl vs. the good woman? this topic is really one-sided so far

By GA.man AKA "Mr. Entertainment

July 16, 2007 9:38 AM | Link to this

Ok this goes back to knowing your self worth

If a woman only sees you as a pushover then you have to blame yourself…oooh wait..i was being to nice

or maybe if i just treat you like i dont give a blip….No thats being mean…or am i a bad boy..cause i wont listen or care….

What it all boils down to is beinging the man my Grandfather raised me to be…warm caring articulate smart and about my business….now if this is what ladies want then i will be a great catch i know i dont match every ladies vision of what she might want in a man..but i do know that looks and the money(might) go away…But my heart is still there…and as long as God gives me breath i can replace the money…but when you let one get away that loves you for you…then you regret..you may never admit but it is true…..How many times have you let one go….then think about it….my heart and good sense to run my house keep the bills paid and show her that i *Will Love her until my last breath is *PRICELESS the same goes for raising my son not to conform but to be himself….ish happens..get yo butt up and start again

By kinderbabe

July 16, 2007 9:38 AM | Link to this

good morning everyone!! hope your weekend was great.:)

i think one of the reasons people are attracted to the bad boy/bad girl b/c of their beliefs about love. a lot of folks have bought into the “love is pain” theory. if you’re dating some inconsiderate, bad girl/boy a-hole, that’s just what you’ll get…pain, stress, drama and lots of it, lol. i would much rather deal w/someone who’s considerate, not a pushover, but genuinely sweet. every man that’s nice isn’t wimpy. if i’m looking for a challenge, i will go to playdate and play a couple rounds of chess, hungry hungry hippo, etc….lol. an emotionally available man is NOT a challenge. i get plenty of exercise at the gym and don’t want any more chasing somebody…lol.

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

July 16, 2007 9:50 AM | Link to this

Hey ABC

Okay , i’ve dated a few Mr. Nice guys.. well that how they aappeared to be in the beginning. Long story short they ended up being some HAM’s (HOT AZZ MESS)so again it take a while to know what you really are getting.

As for as white collar/ Blue Collar. I have dated both. There are cons/pro in both.

By Ladylike

July 16, 2007 9:53 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Blogmates

Ladies, do you like a challenge when it comes to dating guys? I do like a challenge but Mr. Participative & Available needs to show up for the relationship. I tried to work with a bad boy years ago, trust me, they just look good from afar.

Why do some people think nice is not sexy. Nice is not main stream. Sadly the images around don’t or very seldom are images of nice men treating women like ladies. The Hardcore image is ever popular now.*

What is your definition of a nice guy? A nice guy is patient, intelligent, introspective, not a push over, but is straight foward about what he believes in and stands his ground.

By crazydiamond

July 16, 2007 9:53 AM | Link to this

Hello again WLB and the MLB. I had a crazy week last week and will be off the rest of this week, so I will only be chiming in today. Nice guys on the subject today, well here I am.

Raqi I think you are dead on accurate that many women percieve nice as weak.

I think what many women fail to realize is that sometimes the men that act like the bad boy act this way because they are insecure in parts of their lives.

By cemeeli

July 16, 2007 9:55 AM | Link to this

Keep it real…. Women like bad boys because we sometimes want the drama! Nice guys think that it’s about his being very sensitive to her but if you are ‘too sensitive’ then women tend to lean the other way. Maybe it the security issue, looking for a bit more masculinity or it could be just some women are confused about what they want and they like the idea of a bad boy to ‘show’ them what they want. Guys IMO date the good grl first…then crush her….go to the bad girl, get crushed…and then try and date a good girl and still dunno how to treat her… get caught trying to creep with the bad girl and lose again! See there agian that ‘confused species’. ;-)

By SeanJohnson3000

July 16, 2007 9:57 AM | Link to this

@ Sexione…kinda dangerous being a bady girl these days…they turn up missing or a dude puts a “bullet” in her…and not kind makes u cum…the kind that makes u go…lol..

@ kb…to add to your love in pain theory…women like drama in the relationship..ex..my man is crazy…my man got girls calling his cell…my man on the run from the feds…women gotta have somethng juicy to tell their friends about the relationship…if things are good…they think its boring…lol..yall have a need to relate to keisha cole or mary j

By kinderbabe

July 16, 2007 9:59 AM | Link to this

on w/u MsU on the HAM’s lol. i gotta use that one.:) it does take a while to know what you’re getting. there are a lot of “representatives” out there as chris rock said, lmao.

hey SJ:)

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

July 16, 2007 9:59 AM | Link to this

SJ You know i love ya o!!LOL Hey Kinderbabe GA Man What a wonderful post. Sexione It does seem one-sided.. I have heard guys say oh she is nice and sweet but she is not agrresive

By Gorilla O aka "Tha Code Cracka"

July 16, 2007 10:00 AM | Link to this

women love men with a backbone. and regardless of if they’ll admit or not, they love a man that can “put them in their place”. and they get that out of a thug. its hard for them to find a man that has a good balance (fortunately i do). when i say a good balance i mean one who can be nice, thoughtful, sensitive to your needs, good in bed, and when you try him the wrong way, can drop his nuts and handle the situation, speaks his mind and doesnt mind telling you about yourself. because we all know women like to try men to see how much they can get away with.

and i also feel a woman will meet a thug and will see “potential” in him and feel she can change him…havent figured that one out yet.

By Lady Dark w/Dimples

July 16, 2007 10:00 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Everyone

Why do men think women only want the bad guys? A guy will look for any excuse to explain why we’re NOT attracted to him. LOL

Ladies, do you like a challenge when it comes to dating guys? Absolutely not, I’m a grown azz woman who don’t need to play these games. I need someone who will stimulate me intellectually and socially and that I can freely give my love to…. not make it difficult to love him. There are so many obstacles that we face outside the home, can my man be a source of peace and happiness please???

What is your definition of a nice guy or girl, anyway? A nice guy is someone who is considerate..not only of my feelings, but of others as well. A nice guy is selfless…but only to a point. He knows how to take care of himself as well as his loved ones. A nice guy is someone who has a strong foundation of what is right and wrong…and lives by it!

By BlueMoon

July 16, 2007 10:00 AM | Link to this

Well, coming from a guy who is identified as the nice guy…

even though men are the ones that are deemed to be shallow and only worried about looks women are AT LEAST just as bad on that front. The bad boys appeal to them for that reason and it makes them feel enboldened.

The problem with that is this, it comes down to the old “don’t judge a book by it’s cover” mantra. I come across as a boy scout at first because I know how to treat people. BUT, I’m also a former professional baseball player so I’ve seen my share of, well, just about everything. I’ve been known to double the speed limit on major interstates (in cars and on bikes), take 40 mile hikes through some unreal national forests, and those are just a few of the things that have been a part of my life. I just don’t have to show it off at first meeting to make myself into something I’m not. The good stuff comes later and I mean the really good stuff. Cocky/arrogant guys generally have short mans disease (height or otherwise) women just aren’t insightful enough when it comes to guys to figure that out.

As for guys looking for women who are “vixens”….

Well, they are either just looking for a score (not looking for a serious relationship at all) or again, short mans disease. They think they have to put up with it. No REAL man ever would.

By crazydiamond

July 16, 2007 10:05 AM | Link to this

Sexione

I will give you my answer. I personally don’t want the bad girl that I can tell is bad before I get to know her. I like the Nice girl who likes to play bad, meaning just for me. The bad girl might be fun for a weekend, but in the end, she isn’t what I want in my life. It can be fun for a minute, but in the end, it ends up feeling empty. In my twenties, yeah it made things interesting, but the more I become interested in the total package and not just the wrapping, then the more I become disinterested in the bad girl.

By T-Mango

July 16, 2007 10:06 AM | Link to this

@MsU…mail call.

By Gorilla O aka "Tha Code Cracka"

July 16, 2007 10:09 AM | Link to this

@ MS U

could you please elaborate on the pros/cons of dating blue/white collar. i would just like to know if its not too much trouble.

By MusingLee

July 16, 2007 10:11 AM | Link to this

Sexi A dude will date a “Bad Girl” because the red snappa is HOT FYRE!!! LOLOLOLOLOL….Honestly, that’s why a dude puts up with a bad girl. She puts it down in the bedroom and er’time he thinks about leaving she rolls his eyes back and it’s a wrap. hahahahahahaha

Dude: Baby I’m leaving you.

Chick: Oh really!?!?

15 minutes later

Dude: Girlllll, I’on’even’know why I be trippin like that!

By BlueMoon

July 16, 2007 10:11 AM | Link to this

Being a guy that’s generally considered the “nice” guy…

let me just say this, Kindness does not equal weakness. If a woman wants a real man, she’ll get herself a real man. If she wants show, she’ll get herself a cocky, arrogant nobody with short mans disease (height or otherwise) because 95% of bad boys are just wannabe’s anyway.

It’s basically the same thing with guys chasing “vixens”. They are either looking for a score becuase they don’t want anything serious or (note above) they have short mans disease and think they have to put up with it. No REAL man would ever put up with the crap that a supposed “vixen” dishes out because we know we don’t have to.

The best thing women can do is get a little under the surface. I don’t have a bad cover at all, but I’m an even better read. All real men are.

By crazydiamond

July 16, 2007 10:12 AM | Link to this

Co-Sign Blue Moon

I couldn’t have said it better.

*I just don’t have to show it off at first meeting to make myself into something I’m not. *

read it again people, this bares repeating

By G

July 16, 2007 10:14 AM | Link to this

@Kinderbabe: Playdate is a fun event. A woman is less likely to find a “bad boy” (in the traditional sense) at one of those events. I tend to make those on the regular. If I don’t make a connection, I at least have the chance to get in a good game of dominoes or pacman.

Bad girls? It all depends on who/what you define as a bad girl. It’s really not that far removed from bad boys. Bad girls can be found from the church to the street. They come in Ps also (prostitutes, players, professionals, and pushovers). I think guys take the bad rap for choosing/or even approaching “hoochie-types” over a more conservative chick. What can I say? A fine woman looks good in whatever she wears. However, the more mature men become, we tend to seek for additional things she brings to the table.

How many bad boys/girls do we have to go through before we run out?

By Cinderella

July 16, 2007 10:16 AM | Link to this

Ya’ll ever notice how those romance novels start off with the virginal woman and the bad boy pirate that cant stand each other, at first, then halfway into the book they’re getting it on and all in love then something happens and they’re back apart but somehow it works out in the end, happily ever after, into the sunsent? I think alot of people buy into that fantasy that they can reform a “bad guy” and once he’s reformed he would be the ultimate partner. He’s rugged, passionate, will defend you, but that’s all it is….fantasy and drama. Passion and excitment can be found with the nice person.

If people would put as much effort into good relationships as they do into bad ones their would be alot more happier relationships/marriages and a lot less divorce.

By Raqi

July 16, 2007 10:16 AM | Link to this

The line really isn’t that thin, it’s the warped view that many have that throws the entire thing out of whack.

I was raised by a nice guy. A man that was generally quiet but ruled his house. He didn’t have to be loud and demanding to get the respect that he deserved as a man, husband and father. He just handled his business in his own quiet nice way and the respect came…naturally. And guess what, people didn’t try to run over him because they knew he wouldn’t let them.

See that’s what I like living with now in my house. I don’t need all the added drama. I get enough of that raising two boys. I like living in peace and harmony. Every day is not Sunday but it is good overall.

And to say that a nice guy is not a challenge is just misleading.

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

July 16, 2007 10:18 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Blog

I had that same issue this weekend with a friend of mine’s daughter. She is dating a loser and has this great guy looking at her and wanting to be with her since high school (both older now, she’s in her last year of college). And when I asked her about dude she was like “he’s too nice”. I’m like WTF!!???!!! What is too nice? I’ve been dreaming about “too nice” since I left “too evil”!!

I tell you, some people truly have a weird perception of a good relationship and what makes a good mate.

By MusingLee (not shortman, just saying)

July 16, 2007 10:20 AM | Link to this

Blue Moon the blog does contain short men….One in particular doesn’t like people talking badly about short folks…You’ve been warned…hahahahahahahaha

Blue Moon awakening to 15 short dudes in gold speedos, tying him to the bed like in Gullivers Travels

By kinderbabe

July 16, 2007 10:24 AM | Link to this

SJ i agree that there are a lot of people who do get a kick out of negative excitement. personally, i don’t think it’s cute to have all that drama. what’s the point? when it comes down to it, who you keep around in your dating circle is a reflection of what you think about yourself.

MsU i must have been sleep when i typed that last post…lol. i meant to say “i’m w/u…”” lol sorry about that:)

By Sexione

July 16, 2007 10:26 AM | Link to this

good points G

BlueMoon you are sooo right! and quite funny……95% of bad boys are just wannabes anyway! How old are you? sounding all mature and whatnot lol

Musing yep, so true, that will turn y’all around every time……..knuckleheads hehehehe

SJ sounds like you’re describing the very young, immature females. Real women don’t get down like that……..my man this and my man that That is top secret info, you don’t share that kinda info…..at least not in my world.

By kinderbabe

July 16, 2007 10:27 AM | Link to this

G playdate is a fun event.:) i’ve been several times and had a ball. i love the selection of games they have. you’re right, there are a lot of nice people there too. good guys and good women looking to get out onto a different scene. i missed the one this past weekend. did you go?

By The Truth

July 16, 2007 10:30 AM | Link to this

Good morning blogsville. Had a late night and just now dragging into the office. Fresh flowers with balloons for the WLB and and a shot of tequilla for the MLB.

Hey MSU, I got it. Thank you. I want that pretty smile. LOL

Musin 100% cosign bruh.

I guess my vision of a bad boy/girl is different. I don’t know about the azzhole part but when you first meet someone and your getting to know them and you correct them (for women at least) it seems to turn them on. I can’t wait for that moment. If the chick liked you before she gets gaga. Women to me are alot like kids, they like structure (JMHO WLB) and if they care for you they want you to give it to them. This thing is about gears. Life requires alot gears. There are times to be nice, have fun, enjoy, and there are times to get your message across. If your girl has more gears than you then she controls the relationship because you can’t keep up. I think men can aquire gears through exposure, doing things that expand your beliefs, gaining confidence, living life to its fullest. This gives you a better perspective on life and makes routine, day to day decisions alot easier.

NOTE: The Truth will not be responding to any posts from QC or MO because promised packages were not in the mailbox. Let it be written, let it be law.

Crazy most women know the difference between an insecure guy and a confident one. Its hard to fake the funk for a long time.

By T-Mango

July 16, 2007 10:34 AM | Link to this

On the blue collar man versus the white collar man…

Whether he is a doctor, lawyer, construction worker, or an auto technician that is his job. That is what he as a man does as a profession and not who he is. Regardless of his profession, the content of his character is what matters…I think you have to look at the individual and evaluate the pros & cons of dealing with that specific person. Some people have stereotyped the white collar vs. the blue collar man. Moreover, there are women that think that dating a blue collar man is dating down.

I don’t think whether a man is blue or white color is a reflection of the type of man that he is. There are good guys, as well as, azzes that work in every profession. Just my .02.

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

July 16, 2007 10:34 AM | Link to this

Just by reading all the post. I noticed that we all have our own definition of nice/bad —guy/girl. I don’t believe anyone on this blog want someone who will treat tem like ish. Of course some of us relate to one another post because of life experience in the field of dating. We all want what we want. Yep i said it!!

By Happy in Conyers

July 16, 2007 10:35 AM | Link to this

Nice is one thing. Spineless, OEDIPUS complex jellyfish is another! It also depends on what you consider to be a “Bad Boy”. I have always like what we called back in the day “Ruff Neck or Hood Boy”. I got one. I married a Hood Boy who is God fearing, respectful of women, hard working, affectionate and NICE. But takes no crap. His mother raised him well.

You can have both.

By Demi

July 16, 2007 10:39 AM | Link to this

Cocky/arrogant guys generally have short mans disease (height or otherwise) women just aren’t insightful enough when it comes to guys to figure that out.

I agree.

Good Morning to All

By Blatino aka BMW aka BLT

July 16, 2007 10:40 AM | Link to this

Morning, Blog!!! * …. now taking Slim off my myspace friends for not sayin hey to the Blat this morning… JK*

BlueMoon, that’s some deep ish you spittin, bruh. I’ll take CrazyD’s co-sign n raise that to a full blown MLB seal of approval.

Ok, I got a different spin on BlueMoon’s post…. Sometimes also, your “nice guy” ain’t so nice. A lot of us former true Nice Guys have slowly been transformed, so that we still know how to play the role, but we’ll play it with you and several other women at one time.

By C tha 1

July 16, 2007 10:43 AM | Link to this

Slim of course I have my set of issues as everyone on the blog, but bitterness towards women … naah. Why do you ask?

By Staceye

July 16, 2007 10:44 AM | Link to this

SlimOne I agree with you on the Flava-Girls…the swagger is what captures a woman’s attention first. It’s almost hypnotizing. You are pulled into him even though you know he is no good or only out for one thing. As for as the Renaissace Man of that episode..perhaps if they found one that was more attractive then someone would have chosen him. Honestly my first choice based off the physical would have been the guy that Leilene was with the whole night…but instincts would have told me the quiet and kept one was the right one. They do not have to put it all out there and that is how they find the woman that is interested in them for reasons that are not unsavory. I must admit I love a good boy…with Bad Boy Tendencies! It’s a turn on! I am definitely a Good Girl with Bad Girl tendencies so that is why I look for that a in guy. But I can’t seem to find that balance….it’s always too much Bad Boy. But I have to say I enjoy the ride…but I hate the fall! OUCH!!!! Now I’ve got scars!

By QC

July 16, 2007 10:45 AM | Link to this

Hey TMango, Lady J, Crazy D, Raqi, Mochalatte have a great day!

QC’s in lurkesville

By cemeeli

July 16, 2007 10:45 AM | Link to this

Blue moon im w/u as i mentioned in my earlier post. Women that choose the bad boy could very well be confused. In addition to dating a ‘wanna be’. BUT OH!!! this happens so often that it’s crzy. Bad boy meets good girl and crush her with his short man syndrome. She realizes this fool is crzy and all i was trying to do was be nice. HELLO - date a nice guy chick!!!

WOW all this time i thought guys dated bad girls because they liked domineering attitudes and they thought i need to stay here b/c she just may do something crazy. Interesting to know it’s SMS.

By Stace

July 16, 2007 10:49 AM | Link to this

I’m married to a somewhat reformed bad boy so I can tell you what attracted me to him. His self confidence. He knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to speak up about it…he lets me speak my mind and doesn’t run when I do. He is brassy and rough on the exterior and covered in tattoos and anyone seeing him would think he just got out of prison (and he has been there too). But I think that his past experiences have made him the man he is and he is great to me..he works hard, he takes care of me, I feel secure for the first time in my life, and he has manners-which I credit his mom for. He holds open doors for me, I haven’t carried my own groceries in the 2 years that I have been with him, he treats me like a princess….this is my 2nd marriage and my “nice guy” white collar professional that everyone loved and thought was so great was a self centered, spoiled mama’s boy that didn’t think my opinions mattered since he was paying the bills…and I don’t once remember him holding a door for me…sure my bad boy blares loud music and has some rude manners at times, but it is for better or worse…he is rough around the edges which is always a draw to women…you are liars if you say it isn’t. I think tho he has had a rowdy past, we always grow as individuals and he will mellow as time goes on…or if he doesn’t..I can take it cause the trade-off for being treated the way I am is worth putting up with rowdiness once in a while. and By the way…everyone thinks I am a nice sweet innocent girl too…and maybe I am…but not all the time since he is 26 and I am 42!

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

July 16, 2007 10:52 AM | Link to this

@Gorilla O You ASK! This is my dating experience with white/blue collar.. White Collar- Pros Knows how to treat ladies & intelligent Conssometimes to caught up in themselves(they measure their worth by what they got).. Blue Collar— Pros Fun and knows hot to treat a woman.. Down to earth..Has a lot skills in How to fix.. Cons sometime to ghetto..

It doesn’t matter if you are blue/white i would date either as long as we are compatible

By Demi

July 16, 2007 10:52 AM | Link to this

Musin the MoonBat(LOL) is cool I feel the same way about some of these dude walking around…tall or short, those dude have issues

By Staceye

July 16, 2007 10:52 AM | Link to this

T-Mango…I am not mad at a blue collar man! He can fix our cars, build our house, etc…at least he has a good job. It’s strange I only attract white collar men…but when a blue collar guy does approach me he always comments that I am not what he expected. I was told I have a mean look like I am unapproachable, whatever that means. So my question to you is do Blue collar men have a different type of esteem than that of a white collar man?

By Gorilla O aka "Tha Code Cracka"

July 16, 2007 10:52 AM | Link to this

@ MsU

its crazy but a lot of women do want a man to treat them like ish. it makes them feel loved.

the topic of blue vs white collar

ive said it before and ill say it again, women are just too damn superficial. they want a white collar worker who makes a ton of money and has met 3 out of his 4 life goals. then you ask them what they do and they’re an office manager (cute title for secretary) with bad credit…WHAT PART OF THE GAME IS THAT!!!

By Lacey (formally purplepassion)

July 16, 2007 10:53 AM | Link to this

there are women that think that dating a blue collar man is dating down well said. Most people judge a man by his profession. I’ve had friends who say they will never date a man outside of the coporate office. Blue collar guys are considered under- educated and have a lack of mannerism-non sophisticated. They are considered the bad boy type b/c they don’t wear a shirt and a tie. I’ve dated blue collar men and have never encountered any “bad boy”” mannerism, for me it’s been quite the opposite they’ve displayed far more nicness than the so called white collar guys.

Hey Slim1,Sex1, Musing, Truth, SJ and errbody else.

By Bre

July 16, 2007 10:56 AM | Link to this

This will sound like one of those I saw the light comments. But I was for a very long time the Bad Girl to guys. The one common thing they all said was it was never boring with me, that it was always a certain edge to me. I would say it straight from the hip matter of fact, did what I wanted too behind closed doors, and walked with much attitude. Fire always draws heat but be careful it can burn you. I can say I was attracted at those times to “bad boys” the ones that could give right back to me, the ballers, the corporate hustlers, men that other men were afraid of…etc.

Ok now roll the clock 13 years later and its the total opposite for me. I’ve matured and let most of that stuff go and turned into a more grounded sit back and chill person. And believe it or not at the end of the day that’s who I am attracted to now. I like that neither of us club(anymore), we enjoy weekends in or just browsing Best Buy for new gadgets. I never imagined growing older in wisdom and self knowledge would be so eye opening. So what you think you might like in your 20’s might just turn to be so different in your 30’s and 40’s. Then again I know some people that have never changed there stripes in what they like even at age 41.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

July 16, 2007 10:57 AM | Link to this

Truth sorry about not sending said photo. It was not a good weekend for Mo and its not a good Monday so far either. I’ll get it to you…just got a lot going on.

QCF I see that Truth is trying to throw a tantrum on us!

Hey Kinderbabe, MochaTreat, Sexione, Raqi, T-Mango, MsU, Lady J, SJ3000, Foots and Demi

On topic: for me the bad boy is only a temporary high. Its intriguing at first then the novelty wears off and you have someone that you feel is just immature and gets on your last nerve. You have vey little if anything in common and then you wonder “what did I see in you”. JMHO, I know everyone has had their own experience.

By For Real

July 16, 2007 10:58 AM | Link to this

For Real walking thru the blog cafe in slow motion explosing his swagga to all of the ladies of the WLB and then the Alli kicks in

On topic: Women don’t know what they want thus reason for all these various definitions of nice guy and bad boy.

I am not sure what a bad girl is. Wise can you define bad girl for and then fix me a sandwich and find my blue shirt while you are at it.

By MusingLee

July 16, 2007 10:59 AM | Link to this

Stace Just admit, you like the way that young dude is “buttering the hotdog bun”…LOLOLOLOL….Thinking you all in love and ishh…LOLOLOLOLOL….j/k

Good for you girl.

By Staceye

July 16, 2007 10:59 AM | Link to this

Stace I think people are going to think we are the same person if they are not reading carefully!!! Anyway…my dad is a reformed bad boy. My mom tamed him and he loves it. He takes good care of her..and me when I need it. She is older than him by 10 years….so best of luck to you Stace!

By SeanJohnson3000

July 16, 2007 11:01 AM | Link to this

@ Slim and Staceye…i saw that episode of Charm School…and to me it wasnt about the swagger of the men there…in all honesty..i look at it as the quality and type of women on the show played a big part of how they chose who they thought the renaissance man was..and if they even knew what a renaissance man is…they made their choices based on personal preference of looks imo…

By crazydiamond

July 16, 2007 11:02 AM | Link to this

truth

I’ll take a double shot if you make it Patron…hold the lime, hold the salt and no I don’t need a chaser

By Awwww...dayum

July 16, 2007 11:03 AM | Link to this

Women to me are a lot like kids WTF???????? Women want security, yes, but does that make them like kids? Hellz no!!! Kids don’t want or like structure, the need structure!

SJ beng a bad girl does not get them killed……those are usually the good girls that end up with psychotic dudes. The bad girls are the ones running around letting you think you da man, and all the while she’s getting her fixes all over town (and not just with you). The good girls are the ones trying to leave and get killed. Just sayin…….

By SlimOne

July 16, 2007 11:06 AM | Link to this

Blat Oh boy, I’m soooo sorry honey. Slim now giving Blat a 20 second shoulder massage and a peck on the neck to show just how sorry she is.

C tha 1 I asked because often times your post come off in a voice that seems to put men in a superior position as women. Of course that is all in my interpretation but was just curious. So do you not believe men are just a guilty of not being able to truly decipher a female’s true character? Anyhoo, if i’m totally off base, my apologies.

Staceye I agree about them having a more attractive ‘nice-guy’. I’m curious to see what kind of change the outcome may have been had they chosen a more physically asthetic man. “Swagger” or confidence or whatever term you want to put on it, does have more of a bearing on the initial attraction to a person. However, that isn’t going to carry the relationship or dating period for long unless you’re extremely superficial.

Personally, physical attributes only attract me for a very short period of time. After that, I’m more interested in personality. Ladies are you all too ashamed to admit you ever dealing with that super nice guy with killer personality that wasn’t that so great looking? You know the one you only tell your closest girlfriend about but never bring him around to functions…. LOL

By SexyLeggs

July 16, 2007 11:08 AM | Link to this

Good morning. I have a lot to read.

By Ladylike

July 16, 2007 11:09 AM | Link to this

It does not matter if the guy is a white collar or blue collar worker, if he’s going to be a bum, then he’s just a bum. Stereotypes is what further drives us men/women towards the wrong characteristics. All men I meet including the nice guys have some rough edges about them, they come with challenges. A man could have been hurt in past relationships or grown up in a broken home, that to can contribute to him having some challenges in relationships, as far as guarding himself. But he’s still a nice guy willing to participate and be available in a real relationship.

By crazydiamond

July 16, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this

I didn’t have any time to post last week, but I think i remember someone saying something on Monday, i think, about me playing the mandolin. I can’t remember who it was, but figured I would ask and it is too late to look it up…

By For Real

July 16, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this

For Real now sewing a blue and white collar on all his shirts. That will show em.

By Demi

July 16, 2007 11:12 AM | Link to this

A lot of us former true Nice Guys have slowly been transformed, so that we still know how to play the role, but we’ll play it with you and several other women at one time.

You Dayum Right!! LOL

Sup B!!!

By Sexione

July 16, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this

ForReal what you smoking this morning? lmsao Women don’t know what they want thus reason for all these various definitions of nice guy and bad boy.I am not sure what a bad girl is. Hello Mr. Pot, this is Mr. Kettle..lmsao

Bre thats usually how it goes………good for you…getting all older and wiser!

MsU very good points!

perhaps if they found one that was more attractive then someone would have chosen him. Darned good point Staceye!! I don’t care how nice or bad you are, unattractive is unattractive. But I do believe there is someone who will be attracted and think he/she is beautiful! The trick is in finding that person.

By The Truth

July 16, 2007 11:14 AM | Link to this

Its not about being bad its about being a man of your word. I saw a pimp show and one spoke the truth. He said if you tell a chick your gonna kill her azz if she does something and she does it, you gotta beat her to within a breath of their life. While thats extreme the principle apllies. If you tell a woman something and she tests you there’s a consequence. No matter what you have to go thru she has to know that is not allowed. If you do allow it, after you’ve said no, you have just handed over the reins to the woman. You should now be happy being the biotch you are. Some of these cats out here just haven’t gotten in touch with the fact that life throws alot of things at you and if you sit there and take it nobody respects you, including yourself. A bad guy is simply someone that can hand it out as well as take it.

Golden Rule: Domination creates submission and submission creates domination.

Also, what is emotionally unavailable? I’ve heard that term and it sounds like it applies to me. LMAO

By Lady J

July 16, 2007 11:15 AM | Link to this

Hello Good People!!! Great topic with great comments…I am taking notes!:)

Enjoy your day!

By cemeeli

July 16, 2007 11:16 AM | Link to this

This right here…this righ here…this righ here…is some crzy stuff. Why on earth would a good guy not show his REAL-ness from jump!!! As much as guys say …baby i like to keep it real…This is what psss me off!!! I can’t remember who post the comment. But i call that dude/guy a punk!!! come ‘on…so instead of being real…you show us that you Dude/Male/Man/Nice Guy are TRYING to be a ‘bad boy’. urrggghhh if i ain’t never seen a … that has to be the fakest…whoa. That dude!!

By SlimOne

July 16, 2007 11:18 AM | Link to this

Musing you like the way that young dude is “buttering the hotdog bun You know that was the first thing I thought when I read the age difference. Why do we automatically assume that in cases where the women is older than that guy?

Blog Men I would like to know what category you would consider yourselves to be in, Bad Boy, Good Boy, Bad boy exterior Good Boy interior, vice versa, or Just plain crazy

By Foots

July 16, 2007 11:18 AM | Link to this

SJ3G yall have a need to relate to keisha cole or mary j

Not me, man! I want to relate to Stephanie Mills: “I Need the Comfort of a MAN” who can make me “Feel Good All Over”. And for that matter, when I get “Home”, I want to “FEEL THE FIRE” cause there’s “Something in the Way He Makes Me Feel”!!! LOL!!

Hey Mo. What’s up QC, LDD, kinderbabe? Where’s Lady J?

By BlueMoon

July 16, 2007 11:21 AM | Link to this

Sorry Musing Lee- I was just using the term as a general reference. It’s usually the other “short” that gets most guys anyway. LOL :)

Sexione - that would be 35. So the tires have a little tread, they’re just not worn out.

By For Real

July 16, 2007 11:23 AM | Link to this

All these labels and titles that are given out are very subjective. What is Bad Boy to one lady will be a Nice Guy to another lady. Who hellz knows??? I have been called a Bad Boy and a Nice Guy. It’s all up to the person you are dating.

Sexi go help Wise find my blue shirt and bring me some Fruitloops back.

By Foots

July 16, 2007 11:23 AM | Link to this

Lady J Girl, I was just looking for you!! LOL!!

LMAO @ 4Real and all his collars!

By SeanJohnson3000

July 16, 2007 11:23 AM | Link to this

@Slim…regular dude…no more ..no less…more blue collar than anything else

By Lady J

July 16, 2007 11:26 AM | Link to this

Here I am FOOTS…

By abc

July 16, 2007 11:27 AM | Link to this

Actually, the Golden Rule is ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you’. Kinda sounds like ‘What goes around comes around’ to me. Treat people badly, get treated badly by people.

The whole concept of a supposed preference for somewhat anti-social males and manipulative, slutty females is more than a little weird, to me. Bad behavior equates to lack of boredom? I think I’d rather be bored.

By MusingLee

July 16, 2007 11:27 AM | Link to this

if you tell a chick your gonna kill her azz if she does something and she does it, you gotta beat her to within a breath of their life.

Truth, while this is extreme…I’m gonna have to cosign…If you tell a chick “I can’t deal with BLANK, so don’t pull that ishh with me” and she does it…You have to stand on your word and do your thing…Cause she’s gonna keep trying you…(Real Example) I don’t like braids, it doesn’t matter who does them, how much they cost, what they look like…My SO knows this, she keeps asking “What if I get braids, I bet you like them then?!?”…Er’time she brings it up she gets the same response from me “Hellz Naw, I hate braids..I don’t care what you say they will look like”…How about she’s been talking about braids for nearly 2 years and she has yet to set foot into the house with the them…That’s cause she knows I’m dead’azz serious about not liking braids.

By For Real

July 16, 2007 11:27 AM | Link to this

Slim Like I said how can we know what type a man we are when no matter what you do a woman will label you base upon her feelings. Again, what is a bad boy or a nice guy?

By Ladylike

July 16, 2007 11:31 AM | Link to this

You are right Truth your post do sound like you are emotionally unavailable, and non participative.hahaha,LOL And there is a way to make yourself clear without all that consequences to your action stuff, as if you raising children, WTH! Some woman you are dealing with needs to tell you that she’s grown and you are not in charge. But it sounds like all the women you date are not adults.

And stop that Golden Rule bs, you not at the jailhouse keeping cell prisoners. gosh

By SexyLeggs

July 16, 2007 11:31 AM | Link to this

Too mean, nice is very sexy. Nice is showing concern, care and appreciation for your mate. Nice does not and never has in my book equated to being wimpy. Wimpy simply means “you’re a punk.” Bad boys can be sexy to a point, if he can use his brain as well as his brawn. Not many can do both.

Hey Melo I was @Bell Bottoms and had a ball. I even went and danced in the cage. What happened to you?

By Staceye

July 16, 2007 11:31 AM | Link to this

SlimOne I too have had an “Only Behind Closed Doors Man”. Except I wanted to be in public so he would not try anything physical with me! He was not cute at all but he treated me like a princess…opened doors, gave me his Black Card, attended my pageants in and out of the U.S…..just a nice guy. But my God, when the time came to get physical…I almost barfed! So physical, whether we care to admit it, is number one. We are not going to approach the ugliest guy because we think he’s nice. We go for the fine one and pray he is nice. The personality is what makes us stay…but the physical is what lures us there in the first place.

By For Real

July 16, 2007 11:34 AM | Link to this

Musing’s SO: Hey bunny bear. I was thinking about getting me some braids.

Musing: If I raise up there is going to be trouble, trouble…

MSO: But they will

Musing: trouble, trouble, trouble

By MusingLee

July 16, 2007 11:36 AM | Link to this

Slim at 46 dating a 26 year old dude…That Woman has bragging rights over any of her girls…At 26 dude should be able to “Karate Chop” the p-diddy and her girls know she’s getting it worked out.

By cemeeli

July 16, 2007 11:37 AM | Link to this

@ 4real…Fruitloops??? u are not 12? That was the ‘it’ back in tha day for real. A bowl of fruitloops and a side of who change the channel from Judge Mathis…

looking for the remote barely raising your head from the sofa.

By SlimOne

July 16, 2007 11:38 AM | Link to this

SJ3000 Boxers, boxer briefs or tighty whities?

Foots I loved your montage. lol

Musing So if she comes home that day rocking a head full of braids, what are you going to do?

For Real No need to answer. I already know you’re just plain crazy. LOL By the way, it’s time for your meds.

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

July 16, 2007 11:43 AM | Link to this

Hello to everybody that chime in after 10am. @ Forreal you and your collars.. too funny Musing Hmmm i am wondering if i’ve met you and your girl at the beauty suupply store. About 2 weeks ago i went in to get some beads for my daughter hair and it was this dude going off on his girl because she wanted to but some fake hair. I was trying to act like i was not listening but hell he was so loud i couldn’t help but listen and look. Was that you??

By NCGirlfromATL vacationing

July 16, 2007 11:43 AM | Link to this

SJ Stop dodging the question, mayne! We wanna know…good boy, bad boy, wolf in sheep’s clothing? LOL! There is no such thing as a regular dude these days.

Oh, and morning all…including Blatino who is deleting folks from myspace and stuff! Dang, Cletus! LOL!

Slim good lookin’ out on the breakfast! It was good! Not Biscuitville good, but it’ll do in a pinch!

I admit to having bad boy-itis. I like to think I’m reformed, or at least savvy enough to recognize one when I see him and act accordingly.

By Bre

July 16, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this

Hey Demi I hope that things are going very good for you Demi I really do.

Sexione I’m trying and praying(sometimes) that I’m being a better person. Relationships are hard, but you have to know when to let one thing go and another one grow. Women are the intuition of a relationship and the more you learn to listen to it the better you are too yourself and the person you are with or the one you are learning yourself to be with in the future.

By MusingLee

July 16, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this

For Real You are gonna get a bill for making me spit cola on my pants….You are stoopid Man…dayummm..LOLOLOL

Musing now wiping the soda stains off of his red crushed velvet pimp suit pants…laying his cape and Paris Hilton sunglasses off to the side allowing his finger waves to breath…pimp hand weighing about 50lbs

By Demi

July 16, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this

Stace a blog rose to you sweetie…Mature ladies like yourselves keep me from getting my dumb a$$ killed, I was self destructive lika M/Fer…LOL

Sometimes I wake up thinking: Dayum, I am still alive.

LOL

By Sexione

July 16, 2007 11:46 AM | Link to this

cemeeli But i call that dude/guy a punk!!! come ‘on…so instead of being real…you show us that you Dude/Male/Man/Nice Guy are TRYING to be a ‘bad boy’. Yea, that is funny and ridiculous!! But what about this one……Basically, what women say and do tend to be completely different things. AND A lot of us former true Nice Guys have slowly been transformed, so that we still know how to play the role, but we’ll play it with you and several ot