AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2007 > September > 25 > Entry
Third Date Rule
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I am not a fan of dating rules. I don’t like them because I think they can be misleading and to be honest, a lot of us aren’t smart enough to use them “correctly” in the first place. I think dating rules actually prevent single people from establishing a real connection with each other.
There is one dating rule that has always baffled me: the third date rule. I have never really had a guy verbally express his desire to seal the deal by the third date. I didn’t even think that rule really existed in real life. To me, it was like a dating urban legend or something!
If you ask most single women, they would probably say that the biggest challenge and source of stress in dating is centered around sex. When to do it, when not to do it, how to handle it when it finally happens, or how to tell him that it won’t happen. Yes guys, sometimes it really is on her mind that much, especially if she really likes you.
In our modern dating model, does the three date rule actually exist? Do single people expect the third date to mean something when it comes to determining the potential for a relationship?
What do you think two people should know about each other by date three? Should it still be mysterious and exciting or do you think the important questions should be asked by then?
How do you determine the important things about a person’s character after three dates?
Do you think there are any unwritten dating rules that we simply don’t talk about? If so, what are they, and why do we avoid expressing them?
Permalink | Comments (173) | Post your comment | Categories: Dating
Comments
By Dan
September 25, 2007 8:44 AM | Link to this
Wussuper blog?
Diva That is the craziest thing, to be honest if a guy has a “third date rule” he must be lame.
True players don’t have a set time, when it happpens, it happens. True players make their woman comfortable enough to work on her own schedule.
Three dates? For me, if it’s not the first, I’m not tripping.
By Foots
September 25, 2007 8:59 AM | Link to this
Good morning everyone. I’ve heard some guys on here say that if they haven’t gotten the draws in two weeks, then they were out. It should be interesting to see if they still feel that way through this topic.
How do you determine the important things about a person’s character after three dates?
I think you can get a lot of information before you even go out. The very first thing you can determine is if he is a man of his word (does he call when he says he’s going to, how is his follow-through). Sure, some folks have off-days, but more days than not, they will be themselves, so that’s easy to pick up on. Overall, you should be able to tell by date 3 whether he has put forth the effort to be consistent, at least so far.
You can get an idea of their confidence level by how they conduct and carry themselves. You can tell if he’s a gentleman who opens doors without thinking twice about it. By date three, you may even have an inkling of his drinking habits.
But there are SO many things that you have to just come out and ask or engage in conversation about because you can’t get it from observation.
By AmazonRed
September 25, 2007 9:08 AM | Link to this
Third date? Two weeks? Ridiculous. You could not POSSIBLY know someone well enough to play “hide the pickle” in that short amount of time.
The dating rule I follow when it comes to sex is this: Don’t ever sleep with someone you couldn’t see as your husband or the father of your child. There are too many consequences to sex to take that decision lightly.
The three date rule should only apply if you are only looking for the physical aspect to begin with. And if you are, might as well go ahead and do it after the first dinner date.
By Foots
September 25, 2007 9:16 AM | Link to this
Do single people expect the third date to mean something when it comes to determining the potential for a relationship?
I don’t, and that’s because of experience. People come into your lives for different reasons, so everyone who you like enough to see past the first date is NOT “the One”. They might be the one who introduces you to another side of yourself or new experiences or the one who breaks your heart and makes you stronger. But three dates don’t say anything about that person except that you apparently like them enough to continue to gather info about them.
What do you think two people should know about each other by date three?
My assumption is that many conversations have taken place by this time. So you actually know a LOT of information about that person, i.e. favorite things, career path, future life plans, religious beliefs. By that time, you should know which page the two of you are on regarding relationships in general (not between the two of you, but whether he or she is open to more or is just looking for hang out buddies).
By T-Mango
September 25, 2007 9:35 AM | Link to this
Good morning all-
Third date rule?? I’ve never had one of those in place. To me, a third date …is a third date. It doesn’t mean that we are a couple. It means we’re enjoying each others company. I think putting firm timetables in place like “by the third date x should happen” takes away from the “getting to know you” process and creates expectations which may or may not be met by the other party. Been there done that with the expectations in the past…
I’m very open & clear in the type of relationship I’m looking for (y’all read it on here…monogamy & love) So most often after I share the place that I am in from that perspective…we may not even make the 3rd date! LMAO.
By The Truth
September 25, 2007 9:39 AM | Link to this
Good morning blogsville. Wake up Mo and get breakfast ready. I’m starving.
On topic: If a guy really cares for a chick and isn’t just looking for the BIG O, time is not important. Actually if you have long term plans for a woman the longer the better. You can evaluate her without the haze of sex covering your eyes. You’ll definetly make a more informed decision that way.
However, if you’ve offered yourself up as the next big receptacle lets do what we do so we can go on with life.
I’ve never been into counting so no 3rd date rule for me.
Off topic: I’m out walking last night and I run by a neighbor. He stops to tell me about his marriage, or lack of, and we have a convo about his options at this time. Not good. When I get in a buddy calls to tell me about a guy getting shredded in the child support arena. Earns 40k, pays 1100 a month. If you listen to whats going on around you this thing can get real depressing.
Morning Foots, Red, and Thunder Dan
Also good morning to all those MLB and WLB members who’ll pop in after their bosses release the restaints. LOL
By 2CPTG
September 25, 2007 9:45 AM | Link to this
good morning, y’all……ain’t no rules in dating, dang! go with your gut feeling….hell,if y’all wanna get busy on the first date, so be it….aren’t you all adults? Don’t women know upfront whether or not she wants to sleep with a guy? Setting rules and guidelines only complicates a quite simple subject….you be girl, and I be boy! You like me, I like you….go with the flow.
By SexyLeggs
September 25, 2007 9:47 AM | Link to this
Good morning everyone. Hey Truth baby. I’m interested to read what you guys post since I don’t date.
By Mo (now known as Moeisha)
September 25, 2007 10:01 AM | Link to this
Morning All!! MLB could someone help a sistah unload all these goodies from her car?!? This cooking thing early in the morning is no joke! Alright party people, we got pancakes, bacon, eggs, french toast, bagels w/cream cheese, hash browns, fruit, juices, coffee and mimosas. Now dont say Mo dont have love for you guys.
Truth dont come in here all demanding! Its too early for that. I was gonna sit on your lap and feed you breakfast too, but you killed that….fix ya own dayum plate! ;-)
On topic: Never had or even heard of the thrid date rule. If I am comfortable with you and can see that the relationship is going into something stable and meaningful then I will proceed. I go with my instinct and make sure that I am seeing this for what it is and not what I want it to be.
By AmazonRed
September 25, 2007 10:02 AM | Link to this
Good morning Dan, Foots, Truth, T-Mango, 2C and SexyLeggs
Ms. Leggs, can you explain why you don’t date for me?
By Jewel
September 25, 2007 10:05 AM | Link to this
Good morning Everyone!
My SO was surprised when I told him that I knew after our first kiss, which happened on our second date, that he would get the crowned jewel…eventually. I stunned him even more when I said, “well, why wait? Let’s just get married” to his point that waiting to have sex was unnecessary since we both knew what we wanted. We both knew we wanted to get married and it was a strong possibility that we wanted to marry each other. So, to what are we willing to put the most emphasis? A long-term commitment or a three minute thrill? LOL! (Disclaimer—No, he is not finished in three minutes) The only rule after 40 is to not die before you have fulfilled your destiny and purpose. Dating rules belabor an experience that should be enjoyed, not measured by time, in my humble opinion. Let go, let flow.
What do you think two people should know about each other by date three? You should know their name, entertainment preferences, number of offspring, that they were born male or female, number of siblings, city of birth, type of vehicle they drive, place of employment. Most of these things you have already discussed in between dates. How do you determine the important things about a person’s character after three dates? The qualifier is “three dates.” But, I would suggest listening with your ears, heart and intellect to what they have to say; watching how they interact with the waiter/waitress in a restaurant, for example. After three dates, you have limited knowledge of the person and have only learned what the other person wants you to know. And, what are we saying, three dates over a span of three days, three weeks, or three months? It is not until you have seen them on their best and worst days are you able to determine their character. This will take longer than three dates.
Have a Powerful, Productive, Prosperous, and Positive Day!!!
By Wise Diva
September 25, 2007 10:07 AM | Link to this
Good morning! @ Mr. 2, just playing devil’s advocate, how has going with the flow worked for you so far?
By $Bill
September 25, 2007 10:18 AM | Link to this
GOOD MORNING FOLKS!
I don’t have a three date rule but I have been put to the “two date” test. My current SO does not play and has no tolerance because of the crazy dating schemes that have gone on in the ATL.
Like Foots said, we got to discove r a lot before the first date which made things go smoothly when we finally met. Once we developed a level of comfort during the date, I think we both got to see that we were on the same page and have been going strong ever since without any crazy dating rules.
By melo
September 25, 2007 10:27 AM | Link to this
SexyLeggs,why dont u date anymore..u been recruited by Staceye now?!!! Ur legs are too sexy not to date!!! Dating rules are for the young ones int heir early twenties and late teens. Like 2CPTG and Jewel have said, if u mature enough, this aint hard at all. You can even do it on the first!!Just go with the flow. This grown woman(43) wanted to kiss me after our very first movie date.We just happened to be wearing same colors(coincidence) and when she saw that, she just placed sooooo much significance in that.I did not. She was leaning over after our date when i took her to the car.She obviuosly liked me that much. I just gave her a not-so church hug with a little back rub and squeeze,but no wet lips!! Whats up everybody!!
By 2CPTG
September 25, 2007 10:34 AM | Link to this
Lady in Red, since you asked, to be quite honest, it has worked well….because there are no expectations, no titles, and no inhibitions…..if we go out, and the vibe and chemistry is there, then we’ll continue to talk, and go out some more….if we’re somewhere chillin, and the mood shifts, we let nature take its course……I don’t think grown folks are asking each other, “will you be my girlfriend?” shoot, I know if the girl is mine or not!
By Raqi
September 25, 2007 10:35 AM | Link to this
I don’t think three dates is long enough to make an accurate assessment about anyone. Each situation is different. No one should be pressured by a “rule” and neither should one hold back because a “rule”.
By kinderbabe
September 25, 2007 10:38 AM | Link to this
good morning all!:)
maybe i’m out of the loop but i wasn’t aware of a third date rule. this feels weird to type but…i’m w/u on your perspective truth…lol. the longer, the better, especially if there’s potential for something “real” between us. that’s a good way for things not to get clouded w/sex.
jewel glad to hear that you and your SO are doing well.:) i’ll be sure to check in on the blog to hear your engagement announcement.;)
melo your post made me laugh about your date wanting a smoocharoo…lol. you must not have liked her that much she must have been feeling you though…lol.
By SexyLeggs
September 25, 2007 10:42 AM | Link to this
Melo/AmazonRed, to be honest with you I haven’t been asked out for a date. However, I have been asked, countless times, if I wanted to get together for some hanky panky. I’m not looking for a sexual partner. I’m looking to have a meaningful relationship. I haven’t met anyone yet. I don’t go out often so there’s a problem. The men interested in me are only interested in me for one thing. I’m mature enough to know this. Some have even blatantly come out and told me. Remember the guy who walked by me a few months back licking the air as I walked by. Absolutely ridiculous. I’m not looking to sneak anyone in my house while my daughter sleeps to then sneak him back out before she wakes up. That’s not me. Right now, I’m meeting men who simply want me to wrap my legs around their neck and then move on. A lot of men think newly divorce women are some of the horniest group of women walking. So not true!!! That’s why I’m not presently dating.
By Tazzee
September 25, 2007 10:49 AM | Link to this
Morning folks!
No rules on my end, but I have heard guys talk about the 3rd date rule, which was crazy to me.
Jewel ‘The only rule after 40 is to not die before you have fulfilled your destiny and purpose.’ I adopted that rule at age 35 - that and not to die wishing there was something I wanted to experience.
By Dan
September 25, 2007 10:51 AM | Link to this
@sexyleggs
Speaking as a single, dating-aged brother, there are some of us that don’t just want that one thing.
It would be nice, indeed, but the goal in a lot of cases may be to get to know you first. There have been situations where I was the piece, and feeling used is not a good feeling.
However, what you may sense could just be a need for true emotional intimacy and the brother may not be mature enough to express it. Generally, I could do just holding a sister till I get comfortable going further.
Try it out sometime, I mean, just because he wants it, doesn’t mean he gets it right?
By Brooklyn
September 25, 2007 11:02 AM | Link to this
True, dating rules are pretty stupid to me. It kinda defers you from being who you are and actually getting to know a person because in the back of your mind you’re kinda over-anaylzing and over-scrutizing everything. I go by gut feeling and attraction. It can be their the very first date or the 20th date or maybe never.
How do you determine the important things about a person’s character after three dates? Well after a few dates everybody usually send their “representatives” home and thats when the actual getting to know each other can develop. I guess I just listen to who they say they are and compare it to their actions and they way they treat me and everybody else…
By Willie Dynamite
September 25, 2007 11:05 AM | Link to this
Hello All, I’ve been lurking for the past year and finally decided to post. i don’t know about most people but this seems to be an age question. I’ll be honest when I was younger(college) I had some rules that were dictacted by my situation and mostly my ego. I was doing my part to help the fellas out with the 8-1 ratio spread. In my circle you couldn’t keep dating 3-4 times unless you were trying to make her your girl. Other than that keep it moving and no handcuffing allowed. That is what actually drives up the cost of the pudding. Know when to hold em and know when to just throw it in. When I got a little older I realized I actually liked the chase and preferred to wait and even would hold out trying for the deed until it was literally thrown at me. yes I still have that ego but I know how to feed it now.
By SexyLeggs
September 25, 2007 11:07 AM | Link to this
Dan, your absolutely correct. I’m not saying that’s the goal of most men. However, it is the goal of those that are presently stepping to me. I have been polite to all except the air licker. I’m not closed to intimacy or even being held. Hell, I really would love to be tightly held right now. Now, when I meet a man who can come correct w/his game, it’s on. Unfortunately, because I’m cute and sexy (my own opinion..lol), I seem to be attracting those who only want my “honey pot.” All I wear on my sleeve when you see me is confidence.
By The Truth
September 25, 2007 11:07 AM | Link to this
Congrats Sexy for taking yourself off the market. I’ve done the same but mine is for my business situation. I was just speaking in theory earlier. LOL
Kinder its ok for you co-sign the Truth. Actually if you knew me you’d co-sign even more. LOL When its right there are no timetables because you know that person will be there over time. No need to rush. Its only when your questioning a person that you need that quick fix.
Advanced lover technique #1: Guys, don’t really bring up sex until she does. Let her start thinking about it. When you get her over your house don’t do anything. Get her comfortable and let her go to sleep with you (BIG DADDY) watching over her. To aid in her sleep throw a blanket in the dryer for a few minutes (a warm fuzzy). After she wakes let her go home untouched. This has the same effect as marinating chicken. LOL When you finally get her she’ll be dripping at the mouth. (This post will be invisible to the WLB) POOF
Mo come over here and sit on my lap and serve me woman. You know you love it as much as I do. BTW, breakfast was delish.
By Bre
September 25, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this
Good Morning to all, I hope your day is going very smooth.
I’ve never been one to follow any dating rules as I’m sure many do. I prefer to go with the flow and as Amazon Red said, “never lay down with anyone you can’t see at a potentional husband or the father of your child. There are too many consequences to sex to take that decision lightly.”
By NCGirlfromATL
September 25, 2007 11:12 AM | Link to this
Morning.
Truth I must say that your transformation is astounding! It wasn’t that long ago that you weren’t even letting the words “long-term” come into your vocab on the blog unless it was a long-term freak. Gotta say, I’m impressed!
On topic: No rules, except no pressure. No one wants to feel like they’re being pressured into anything. Sex, love, marriage, parenthood, whatever. Time tables only add to everyone’s stress, and they feel like ultimatums. No one responds well to those.
By Jewel
September 25, 2007 11:18 AM | Link to this
Hello Kinderbabe!
I agree Tazzee. My goal is to live life with no regrets. And, to borrow one of the lines from Hitch: Begin each day as if it were on purpose. Now, you can really start to have fun. You were just warming up the previous years.
By SexyLeggs
September 25, 2007 11:18 AM | Link to this
Truth, you are one funny person.
Thank you, “Mo” for the breakfast. So nice to have a mimosa w/breakfast.
By BlatinoBrutha aka BLAT aka "Where the HE!_!_ have you been???"
September 25, 2007 11:21 AM | Link to this
Buenos Dias, Bloggeros!!
I’m just gonna co-sign THE TRUTH on this one. It’s not about rules but rather situations. If I’m really feeling a girl, looking at her like shorty or wifey material, I have no problem waiting - heck, I may not even bring it up. It’s worth the wait and even gets her on a different mindset to wonder if you want her that bad.
But……………………. If I’m on Draws Recovery Duty? Let’s just say if I ain’t hit, there won’t BE a third date. And I’ll seriously question if there will be a second.
Like I said, it depends.
Blat now putting on his MLB-approved Gonad Protective Device…..
By Willie Dynamite
September 25, 2007 11:23 AM | Link to this
Truth-once again you are helping school the masses. I learned that in my late 20’s early 30’s. Thw warm blanket in front of the fireplace works like a charm. Disclaimer:You forgot to add that this can’t be pulled off by average Joe’s. This is some level 5 type ish. You have to have a certain level of gamesmanship in you or it’ll be too hard (No pun intended).
By AmazonRed
September 25, 2007 11:23 AM | Link to this
SexyLeggs, thank you for your candid response. It’s so hard being a sexy beast, isn’t it?! ;-)
By NY 2 GA
September 25, 2007 11:29 AM | Link to this
Hi All,
I’m back..
I don’t think there are rules in dating - really. Everyone has their own notion of what they are attracted to. It all has to do with feelings.
Personally, I don’t sleep with a man until we go to the clinic and pass a HIV test together. Just something I started doing about 3 years ago. So usually we are comfortable enough to speak about that before we hit the sack.
I still protect myself of course, but that is one less thing I have to worry about, in case of an uh oh.
By Mo (now known as Moeisha)
September 25, 2007 11:33 AM | Link to this
SexyLeggs I figured a mimosa would do all of us some good this morning, ya know, traffic, nosey co-workers, etc. Oh and did we decide on a game for the Football 101 gathering?
Truth I think after all my hard work cooking this morning, you should serve me breakfast, and I’ll even sit on your lap. ;-)
Hey Kinderbabe, Tazzee, NCGirl, Jewel, SlimOne, ARed and the rest of the crew
By Bre
September 25, 2007 11:33 AM | Link to this
Truth and WDynamite Not all can execute such game. However if game recognizes game, he will be sweating way more than I will with or without the warm blanket. More and more of the fellas as they get older pull that game, but now that its out there woman are able to see it for what it is.
By Jewel
September 25, 2007 11:36 AM | Link to this
Truth That works for Goofy Gretel (no offense to a fellow blogger whose name is Gretel), not a Mature Madam. By the time she is comfortable enough to fall asleep at your house, she has already decided if you will have the pleasure…
By 2CPTG
September 25, 2007 11:39 AM | Link to this
A Red, can I throw a curveball at this theory, ““never lay down with anyone you can’t see at a potentional husband or the father of your child. There are too many consequences to sex to take that decision lightly.””, granted, that is true on the surface, in that every sexual encounter has the potential to lead to a child; however, have you ever given thought to the fact that sex is as natural as breathing? Perhaps that’s why the world’s oldest profession is women of leisure? Sex is needed!!! And as a grown man, I know that every female I may sleep with, I don’t want as a wife.
By SexyLeggs
September 25, 2007 11:40 AM | Link to this
Mo, I’m leaving the game for the Football 101 class to you guys. I’m opening my house to you guys. Just let me know when. You guys are into these teams. Right now, I’m just into looking at the butts….LOL
AmazonRed, girl don’t you know it…LOL.
Welcome back NY2GA.
By Dan
September 25, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this
Maybe that’s the problem?
Maybe that’s why we need/have rules?
Why does it have to be a game? Why can’t it just be: you and me, and whatever does/does not happen?
Maybe that’s why this is Misadventures in Atlanta, instead of Atlanta: the place to find love.
By Wise Diva
September 25, 2007 11:47 AM | Link to this
welcome Willie Dynamite, gosh I am lovin that name, LOL
@ Brookyln, great points! I used to get hung up on the actions vs. words thing. A guy friend once told me that if the actions and words don’t align, and I am confused, go by actions - always.
By $Bill
September 25, 2007 11:47 AM | Link to this
Truth: Dripping at the mouth? Marinating chicken? LMAO!!!
By NY 2 GA
September 25, 2007 11:48 AM | Link to this
Hi Sexy thanks..
By Staceye
September 25, 2007 11:48 AM | Link to this
Amazon Hide the Pickle….LMAO! Now that is classic! But I agree with you about the consequences. That is why so many kids are born out od wed lock and the parents hate each other. They never knew one another from the start.
Truth Earns 40k, pays 1100 a month now if he is one of those dudes runing around making babies all willy nilly..I feel no pity for him. If he is just getting jacked by the system from the ex wife…then he should really got to court about that.
Oh by the way..I love you Advanced Lover technique…MMM! I might have to come over there and give you a big kiss and grab your booty! LOL
SexxyLeggs girl I don’t do the dating thing either. So I now longer have to worry about some dude trying to get all Mr. Grabby Hands on me…and I don’t have to cut him…you know! (LOL) I had one due get mad at me for saying I do not let guys come to my crib nor do I go to theirs until I get to know them somewhat! Stuff happens way to fast and easily around these parts…land of woods & dark places to hide the body of evidence.
Melo You are gonna leave me alone! LOL SexxyLeggs can choose to be free of dating drama is she wants to!
Brooklyn What’s up from the Uptown Girl!! I say the same thing…you know representatives and all. But I think they stay around a bit longer than a few dates. Some leave after the booty..or they stay around for the forst 3 months. It’s something about that 3 month itch man!
By Bre
September 25, 2007 11:49 AM | Link to this
@2cptg You shine light to the other side but I don’t think every encounter leads to a child. I can’t recall how many times I’ve done the act and not one and I mean not one has lead to a child. There is much you can control, that’s how I don’t understand slip ups. Anyway I do believe that as a culture over all in N.America, sex is still taught to be something negative, never positive or taught as something natural.
I can say every man I’ve ever got down with if I was to get prego with was worthy in someway that I could deal with for life and saw something in his character that said if something was to go down I could handle it with him.
By The Truth
September 25, 2007 11:50 AM | Link to this
Willie-D I stand corrected. Your right, this is only for the cat that really has his thing down. It will blow up on a younger guy thats secretly waiting for her to fall asleep so she can pounce.
Ultimately this is about positioning. Do I want to position myself as the guy looking to bump with her everytime I see her or the guy she is so comfortable with everytime she wants to bump she automatically thinks of me?
NC thank you, I think. LOL I am nothing if not always growing, expanding, learning. If you have something to teach me I’m willing to learn. When you stop growing you truly DIE.
What’s up Blat? Good to see you my friend.
Jewel I like that line.
By SexyLeggs
September 25, 2007 11:57 AM | Link to this
Dan, game is just a slang word used. Replace the word “game” with “intentions”, or “capabilities”, or even “contributions”. Same concept!
By For Real
September 25, 2007 11:57 AM | Link to this
What’s the deal pickles? Is everythang koser?
On Topic: Dating rules are for the young and/or stupid because they don’t know any better. Once you learn then you are able to decide if you want to DATE or go on a RELATIONSHIP SEEKING MISSION.
Wise When to do it, when not to do it, how to handle it when it finally happens, or how to tell him that it won’t happen. That is not thinking about sex. That is breaking down the act of sex. Here is an example of thinking about sex:
I can’t wait to pull her hair up and kiss the back of her neck while she slowly grind her…
By 2CPTG
September 25, 2007 11:59 AM | Link to this
Bre, glad you can somewhat feel me…though I did say potential….and I think it’s very ironic, that sex is viewed as negative, yet, it’s all over the place! If corporate america ain’t trynna use hip-hop, they’re using sex to sell…..it’s like they’re saying, I don’t like it, but doggone it, if it makes me money, I’m all for it!
By seldomseen
September 25, 2007 12:00 PM | Link to this
Good day everybody! I’m new to the blog but I hope to jump right into the convo.
On topic: Rules are for people who don’t trust their own intuition. I believe that you should just take it one day/date at a time and let it flow. However, I think having the ability to read people is important and that only comes with experience (not age).
By Brooklyn
September 25, 2007 12:01 PM | Link to this
Staceye That is true. Some reps can stay for months and months but a good rule of thumb I follow is just to put the men I date in different situations at different times just to judge their reactions and actions. Not everybody can remain as cool as cucumber when you spring some sh** on them. And out of all the men I’ve date those who are just too good to be true and just too charming are usually as fake as they come…
Hey, Wise
By The Truth
September 25, 2007 12:02 PM | Link to this
Jewel you couldn’t wronger. What Willie is saying is it works when its so ingrained its what you do. If a chick feels you like that your gonna get that a* anyway. That doesn’t mean I don’t put my smack down tho. I do what I do. Her mindset is I can come to this guy and get some good love or some quality relaxation. Either way I come out ahead. I forgive you for your oversight.
Bre you never recognize the work of atrue artist.
Advanced lover tip#2: Take that woman out for a whole day of fun, parks, lunch, a short road trip( premium outlets are perfect). Then when you get her to your place throw Advanced lover tip #1 on her a*. She’ll never see it coming. LOL
By Wise Diva
September 25, 2007 12:05 PM | Link to this
yea, well thanks for the clarification, For Real.
By Bre
September 25, 2007 12:10 PM | Link to this
2cptg Isn’t that what America is about, do one thing and mean another. Sex will always sell…don’t ever think it will stop. I can’t tell how many women I’ve sat down and talked with about bedroom things whom are hung up on “what not to do” or what’s dirty instead of simply pleasure. I feel sometimes I need to teach a class I’m no expert but I be darn if I don’t have a good time…….
By Bre
September 25, 2007 12:12 PM | Link to this
Truth What do you mean?
By AmazonRed
September 25, 2007 12:12 PM | Link to this
2C, I have yet to see the wrench in your theory. “Sex is as natural as breathing” is a matter of OPINION. Your basic needs are food, water and shelter. You can get by in life w/o sex.
I think the way you were raised contributes to your attitude on sex. And I don’t agree at all that it’s as natural as breathing. Sorry.
By seldomseen
September 25, 2007 12:21 PM | Link to this
Brooklyn Please share some of these situations that you place men in to test their disposition.
By 2CPTG
September 25, 2007 12:22 PM | Link to this
A Red, no need to apologize for having a different opinion…you’re entitled to that…..
you said, “Your basic needs are food, water and shelter. You can get by in life w/o sex.”……but you’re not supposed to! you’re supposed to “be fruitful and multiply”….can’t do that without sex (naturally, of course). perhaps that’s why the “marriage bed is undefiled” ????
By Willie Dynamite
September 25, 2007 12:22 PM | Link to this
Bre-Glad to see that you’ve been paying attention through the years. However the intent is to really let you know it’s not all about the pudding. A real Man wants to feel like he can satisfy you without satisfying you so to speak. Quality time gets lost in the equation (See Tip#2). I’m guessing most women at some point during a date is waiting on the Man to make his move and show his true intentions. Usually the dude who hasn’t paid attention will screw it up and blow it. The ones that are worthy will enjoy the time whether that’s the 3rd or 10th date.
Side Note- Truth you are dangerously close to breaking section 7-3 subsection B,C and D of the MLB rule book.
By Wise Diva
September 25, 2007 12:23 PM | Link to this
welcome seldomseen! so how old are you? (if you don’t mind sharing that) and do you think that you are better at judging character than you were, say 5 years ago?
By Jewel
September 25, 2007 12:25 PM | Link to this
So am I right, or am I wronger??? Truth Never underestimate the power of a woman. And, Willie who? Is he your alter ego? LOL!
By Dan
September 25, 2007 12:28 PM | Link to this
@brooklyn
And anyone else that uses “too good to be true.”
Do your due diligence, ask the questions repeatedly, whatever it is you need to do, but please….
Don’t say that a man is “too good to be true.”
Because I happen to be.
By seldomseen
September 25, 2007 12:32 PM | Link to this
Wise Thanks for the welcome. I am 37 year old divorced brother. I definitely think I am a better judge of character. In the past, I was too quick to react emotionally and to step back and judge the entire situation. Maybe bad experience causes you to put up the suspicion sensors or not but it has made me a better listener and more observant.
By AmazonRed
September 25, 2007 12:33 PM | Link to this
2C, I agree you aren’t supposed to go through life w/o sex, but that still doesn’t make it as “natural as breathing.” If it were that natural, then 3 year olds would be having sex. LOL
By SexyLeggs
September 25, 2007 12:41 PM | Link to this
Hey seldomseen. We’ve seen you 3x now…LOL…Welcome. Love your name, but you might have to change it if you decide to become a regular.
By Staceye
September 25, 2007 12:45 PM | Link to this
SEldomseen Maybe bad experience causes you to put up the suspicion sensors or not but it has made me a better listener and more observant Welcome to my world! My experiences have made me look at everybody sideways and have that everyone is suspect feeling. I don’t try to be that way..but I can’t help but think that when a guy approaches me. I know he did not come to me because he thought I looked friendly. Funny thing is…people say I look mean but if they get over that and speak to me anyway they always say that I am not at all what they thought! My girls from NY know that “Don’t F’ with me” look that we must put on when you are out. Hoepfully it keeps away the unwanted ones….doesn’t always work though huh? Right SexxyLeggs LOL? Maybe Mr. Air Licker didn’t look at your face to see that look!
By Jewel
September 25, 2007 12:47 PM | Link to this
Well, hello Dan! Or should I say Toot-toot! LOL!
By 2CPTG
September 25, 2007 12:48 PM | Link to this
A Red…..take the humean element out of it…..who teaches the animals about sex? yet, they still procreate, do they not? To me, that would indicate a natural action…would it not? We’re just intelligent enough to know what it means, and the various deviations of it….
By Willie Dynamite
September 25, 2007 12:51 PM | Link to this
We’ve heard about the Men having date rules but don’t you women also have Date rules? Didn’t they make a movie about that with Vivica Fox? I’ve been with women who told me that even though I was gonna get it from the jump they had to make me wait until the 3rd-4th date. They didn’t want to seem too easy. Isn’t that the same thing? we are a little older and wiser now and don’t necessarily follow those rules but they are still guidelines. Am i right or wrong?
By AmazonRed
September 25, 2007 12:55 PM | Link to this
Wrong again 2C, you can’t take the human element out of it, because we ARE humans. We evolved that way on purpose and we ARE intelligent to know better and therefore do better.
By SexyLeggs
September 25, 2007 12:57 PM | Link to this
You are absolutely right Staceye. LOL. While reading your posting I was definitely identifying. When I first arrived to the ATL people would always say I look mean and that I should smile more. Hell, NYers walk with a serious look at all times. Now, for me, having my child has changed my facial composition. I smile all the time and am extremely friendly. Hell, I’ve been in the ATL for 29 yrs. Nope, I’m still a NYer!
By SexyLeggs
September 25, 2007 12:58 PM | Link to this
Staceye, don’t get me wrong. The look is used when necessary. We never loose the look…LOL
By Jazzyone
September 25, 2007 12:59 PM | Link to this
What up ya! So listen I don’t have dating rules really..never been a first date and lay type of chick though…and I will date you until I feel like we are moving towards a common goal possibly a relationship but just midless sport dating and F*ing are not my thing and will eventually dump you off somewhere and keep it moving..the possibility of me slaying you would be nill because I’m not trying to catch any stalkers with the kit kat.
In my world, if myself and the man I am dating don’t have that talk about us being boyfriend/girlfriend then he needs to be prepared for what may come from that
At this age 41 Imma do what I want to to, but putting down the gold standard naw its not that easy for me to give it up. Keeping it really real though I know if a man is a candidate for a stay in the kitty box within the first 20 min of meeting him.
By $Bill
September 25, 2007 1:14 PM | Link to this
Dan: I cosign your post and also throw myself in the “too good to be true” category based on what I was taught at home. I grew up respecting women to the fullest because of my single Mom raising three kids on her own and working nights to support us. I learned early when it came to treating the women that I dated correctly.
Unfortunately, those “tests” that are mentioned by Brooklyn have turned out to be deal breakers more than relationship solidifiers. I just believe that if I’ve shown the consistency to be everything that I said I was, why continue to test me if I passed with flying colors on multiple occasions over a long period of time?
By QC
September 25, 2007 1:15 PM | Link to this
Why have rules when you’re dating? They’re made to be broken so why even deal with them????? If you 2 are feeling each other, you’re grown adults, know what you want - just do you! Life is short and tomorrow ain’t promised to none of us; we all need to live for today. Be you and do you
By 2CPTG
September 25, 2007 1:20 PM | Link to this
A Red, though I feel your point, just don’t quite agree; When I say remove the Human element, I’m referring to the act of sex, not who’s doin it….if you look at the act of sex, then mayhaps you will understand that it is a natural action. And I agree, we’re supposed to know better, and thus, do better….but methinks, the smarter we become, the dumber we become………we will never hear of anyone living to be 3, 400 years old……but we’re supposed to be smarter than those folks were, right?
By SexyLeggs
September 25, 2007 1:21 PM | Link to this
Off topic, you guys talked about the chicken w/the cream of mushroom soup w/wild rice and a veggie. Well, I made baked porkchops w/cream of mushroom soup, rice and corn for dinner last night. This is what I’m having for lunch right now…scrumptious.
By kinderbabe
September 25, 2007 1:27 PM | Link to this
ok truth since i’ve been on the blog irregularly, i missed the episodes when you turned into a human being…lol. i’m liking the newly revealed you. keep your eye out for future co-signs…lol.;)
hey mo how goes it? hope all is well in your world.
By DEMIGOD aka MR.SOMEONELIEDANDIWASYOBABY'SDADDY:THETESTDOESN'TLIE!!
September 25, 2007 1:33 PM | Link to this
Life is short and tomorrow ain’t promised to none of us; we all need to live for today. Be you and do you!!
QC and you are DAYUM right!!!
Good Afternoon Folks!!
I am ouuuuut!!
By Jewel
September 25, 2007 1:34 PM | Link to this
And, SexyLeggs? I am having stir-fry veggies with leftover pork tenderloin and brown rice. Delectable LOL! Just kidding with you, don’t give me that NY look!
We sound like a Lean Cuisine commercial
By The Carnivore
September 25, 2007 1:38 PM | Link to this
I know about a three hole rule. I never heard of a three date rule.
By Beautiful
September 25, 2007 1:43 PM | Link to this
i have a two month rule, because i’ve been dogged by too many men. after two months, if there is no commitment, it’s over!!! :(
By DEMIGOD
September 25, 2007 1:44 PM | Link to this
seldomseen but forever heard, sup bruh!!
Jazzy you’re 41? You don’t count, y’all are usually off the chain anyway, LOL
Heeeeey Bre/KB/Sexi*
Willie Dynamite Hellz yeah, Truth and his DAYUM tips!!
QC, would you like to share an ice cream cone with me, name your favor…I only carry “Chocolate” though, HEHEHEHEEEE
I am out For real, for real…PEACE and remember JENA6.
By Lashawn
September 25, 2007 1:46 PM | Link to this
Screw dating rules, I always bang on the first date to test the meat!
By Bre
September 25, 2007 1:50 PM | Link to this
Greetings DemiBe good and safe.
By Jazzyone
September 25, 2007 1:52 PM | Link to this
Demi if i didn’t have a mtg in a min I get acha’..are you saying im too oldd little daddy?? If more of ya would act like some of us hot mature (Thanks Rell) we wouldn’t be talking about dayum dating rules..schmating rules…LOL
By SexyLeggs
September 25, 2007 1:55 PM | Link to this
Beautiful, damn you want a commitment after 2 months. That sounds crazy to me.
Hey Demi.
Jewel, that was funny…but we did sound like a Lean Cuisine commercial.
Lashawn, you don’t have any class.
By Boy y'all stupid!
September 25, 2007 1:55 PM | Link to this
Does anyone blogging here speak English? All of you sound like ignorant fools. Hellz yeah? Dayum?? IDIOTS!
By For Real
September 25, 2007 1:58 PM | Link to this
A-Red You don’t need your eyes and ears to survive either but that doesn’t make either of them un-natural. 3 yr olds don’t come out walking either but isn’t walking a natural thing? If sex isn’t natural why design it in such a way that requires Human (Male/Female) contact. Every HUMAN needs HUMAN contact even 2E’s.
By Page1908
September 25, 2007 1:58 PM | Link to this
LOL CTFU @ Lashawn!
Hey QC!
By BlatinoBrutha aka BLAT aka "Where the HE!_!_ have you been???"
September 25, 2007 2:06 PM | Link to this
Slim, thanks for the myspace luv.
By Beautiful
September 25, 2007 2:08 PM | Link to this
SEXYLEGGS, I’VE BEEN TOLD MANY TIMES BY GUYS THAT A MAN KNOWS AFTER ONLY ONE WEEK WHAT HE WANTS TO DO WITH THE FEMALE HE JUST MET. DATE HER, SCREW HER, BE FRIENDS WITH HER, ETC. I DATED JOHN FOR 18 MONTHS AND I FEEL I WASTED MY DAYUM TIME WAITING ON HIM. NEVER AGAIN!
By SexyLeggs
September 25, 2007 2:09 PM | Link to this
Boy y’all stupid, I know you’re not talking to me! I dont sound stupid, I don’t write stupid, but I will respond back to a stupid person.
By Brooklyn
September 25, 2007 2:12 PM | Link to this
seldomseen I, for one, like telling most men I date up front that I sometimes like to hang out with my friends, go out, drink, dance, whatever and if they want to date me, they have to be okay with the fact that I like being out and about sometimes. But usually they play the whole “I’m secure in myself role, so girl, go do your thang” But when the time comes, suddenly they get insecure or jealous.
I also happen to be taking care of my eleven year old nephew and some guys are NOT okay with dating a younger women with responsibities. They end up feeling threatened. Thats just a few examples relating to me.
Dan and $Bill, I’m sure you both are good men and I meant no offense by my comment. It was just my .02
By seldomseen
September 25, 2007 2:15 PM | Link to this
Hello.. SexyLeggs - I’m seldomseen because all you hear about is that there are no single, straight, employeed brothers who don’t live at home with their mommas and Staceye - There are some guys who only approach women with that look. Its all about the challenge
By kinderbabe
September 25, 2007 2:16 PM | Link to this
hey demi how’s it going?
By SexyLeggs
September 25, 2007 2:17 PM | Link to this
Beautiful, I believe men know what they want after a week just like you stated AFTER ONLY ONE WEEK WHAT HE WANTS TO DO WITH THE FEMALE HE JUST MET. DATE HER, SCREW HER, BE FRIENDS WITH HER. Women know the same thing. However, 2 months is too short of a time unless you got that “love at first sight” thing going on. Most people don’t know after 2 months that they want to marry this person.
By AmazonRed
September 25, 2007 2:17 PM | Link to this
Nice try For Real, however, I never disagreed that sex wasn’t natural. I simply disagreed that sex was as natural as breathing.
By seldomseen
September 25, 2007 2:17 PM | Link to this
sup DEMIGOD
By Beautiful
September 25, 2007 2:18 PM | Link to this
One co-worker told me after one week of dating her husband they knew. Another co-worker told me after one date he knew he would marry his wife. It doesn’t take months and months to know who you want to be EXCLUSIVE with.
By $Bill
September 25, 2007 2:19 PM | Link to this
Brooklyn: No offense taken. It’s all good!
Boy y’all stupid: It’s amazing how someone can read so much into your name. You’re a BOY AND YOU’RE STUPID! GET A LIFE AND GET ON WITH THAT PETTY BS!
By For Real
September 25, 2007 2:23 PM | Link to this
Beautiful Did they say every man or some men? So if you wasted your time then so did John, unless your time is more valuable than his time. In addition, and I have stated this before:
Don’t over estimate your value to someone else. Your value to someone is determined by that person, not you.
By Beautiful
September 25, 2007 2:27 PM | Link to this
SEXYLEGGS, I’M NOT TALKING MARRIAGE. I’M JUST TALKIN’ BEING EXCLUSIVE. MARRIAGE IS A TOTALLY DIFFERENT ANIMAL.
By SexyLeggs
September 25, 2007 2:28 PM | Link to this
seldomseen, your name took on new meaning. Very cool!
Ok Beautiful. Everything is relative in life. I don’t know of any one who knew in a very short period of time. I do know it’s possible, but I don’t know anyone who knew.
By Mo (now known as Moeisha)
September 25, 2007 2:28 PM | Link to this
Kinderbabe How goes it? I am doing okay, just working and trying not to let the conspirators get to me.
Alright ya’ll, b/w my co-workers and the ex I am about to lose it. WOO-SAH!!! I need to get paid for dealing with this much stress over stupid stuff.
For Real My song for the day please…..and make it good!
By Jake aka Sweet Peeda Jeeda ...u know the rest
September 25, 2007 2:28 PM | Link to this
What up Peeps:
Rules do not apply to Sweet Peeda. I give Truth/Willie D. the head nod for being in the advanced class. Truthfully ladies, its all about how you feel with a guy, if he can create the appropriate atmosphere, he will get the appropriate response. Some women need you to apply pressure,(needs to feel wanted in order to open up, “he wants it so bad, I’ll give him some”…ego trip), others, its respect and appreciation because she could be with someone else (she wants you show some tact…set the ambiance for her and you don’t have to do anything, she’ll initiate the closeness. “He has been so nice, no pressure, I’ll give him some” still an ego trip).
Its like hunting, you have to know what kind of animal you are dealing if you intend on making a kill.
Hey Sweeties, roses for ya’ll…what up MLB.
By BennyB
September 25, 2007 2:30 PM | Link to this
Attractive women get approached by guys so many times during young ages. They develop an instinct to eliminate guys based on very little information. It’s not about how many dates; it’s only about what she thinks she wants and who she thinks you are PERIOD. I learned a lot of stuff about life and women after joining the BTR and one of them was to have clear goals and know what kind of woman I want to be with. I know that I want a woman who want me but does not need me; those women are rare to come by or they are not just a myth.
Topic: On the third date, I have to have strong evidence that the girl is not a convicted child molester; I have to know the following:
Her mother’s maiden name
The last four digits of her social security number
Her credit history for the last seven years
Check if her name is not on FBI most wanted list
By Lashawn
September 25, 2007 2:31 PM | Link to this
Oh Sexxy Legs STFU this is a BLOG for PETE’s SAKE NOT DR PHIL OR OPRAH.
So once I grade the meat, i decide weather i want to keep you around for the next test…open wide sexxy legs…lol!!!
By Beautiful
September 25, 2007 2:33 PM | Link to this
FOR REAL, i feel i wasted my time, because John thought there wasn’t anything wrong with what was going on. i didn’t ask for much but to be EXCLUSIVE. he wanted me to be there for him for another couple of years without a commitment. Can’t do it! Won’t do it!
By For Real
September 25, 2007 2:34 PM | Link to this
A-Red Point taken but which organ develops first: sex or lungs? Also, here are the 5 needs of a human according to the National Science Institute (in order of need):
Air
Water
Food
Shelter
Blackcake
Brooklyn I also happen to be taking care of my eleven year old nephew and some guys are NOT okay with dating a younger women with responsibities. They end up feeling threatened. Now why in the hellz would a man feel threatened by a woman taking care of a child? The only threat would be if you want the man to take care of the child and you.
By Staceye
September 25, 2007 2:37 PM | Link to this
SexxyLeggs You’ve been her 29 years? Wow! That’s alrihgt….you can take the girl from NY…but never the NY from the girl. I’ve been here 3 years and I will quickly remind people that I will always be an Apple…not a peach! That’s right…don’t lose the look.
Girl pay no mind to the person who shall remain nameless that is coming on here insulting people without even knowing what’s up. He/She has no life and to make themselves feel better that have to put down, insult or verbally attack others. It’s sad actually!
For Real you are gonna leave me alone man! LOL
Seldomseen I understand your name. * There are some guys who only approach women with that look. Its all about the challenge* Is that also the case when short dudes approach tall women knowing she will probably not give him the time of day…the challenge? LOL
Beautiful I feel what you are saying.
By AmazonRed
September 25, 2007 2:38 PM | Link to this
For Real…
I quit you.
By Tazzee
September 25, 2007 2:38 PM | Link to this
On the sex subject - true no one taught animals how to have sex and I don’t profess to be an animal expert - but animals have sex to procreate. More often than not humans have sex because it feels good. Yes, we were commanded to be fruitful and multiply but it’s also in God’s plan that we have sex as husband and wife so that when we multiply the child will be raised in a family.
So while sex is natural and the desire to have sex is a blessing from God, He also intended for it to be done the proper way. And I believe that is more for our benefit than our detriment. Having sex as He intended would result in less heartache, single-parent homes, and baby momma/daddy drama. It would practically eliminate abortions and shotgun weddings.
By For Real
September 25, 2007 2:38 PM | Link to this
Beautiful You say you don’t want marriage just exclusivity. Okay, please define exclusivity.
By Page1908
September 25, 2007 2:39 PM | Link to this
lmao @ stfu! wow
By Wise Diva
September 25, 2007 2:44 PM | Link to this
please take the immature behavior elsewhere. Goodness, is it senior skip day or something?
By The Truth
September 25, 2007 2:45 PM | Link to this
LMAO @ Carnivore’s 3 hole rule.
Sexy is a committment after 2 months pushing it? I don’t mean marriage but by then you at least know if you want to be exclusive. Note to self-wait 3 months before asking Sexy for her hand in marriage. LOL
Kinder thanks for allowing me to be human again. It was sure lonely being a beast. LOL
Story: I just received an email from a military buddy of mine from germany. We were 19-21 when we met(81-84). Anyway, he told me one day he wasn’t dating again unless it was the woman he was marrying. A few months later he met Ella and their still married and have a son almost our ages. That dude knew then what he wanted and he got it. This was at a time when we were trying to knock off as many chicks as possible, pre-aids. Anyway, I just wanted to share that little piece of history with y’all.
Bre and Jewel right now I’ve got a scented candle burning and listening to 907 on comcast (soft r&b, soothes my soul). Thats what I do. If I listened to rap but did these things when you came over thats game. If I wrap you in a blanket, or my arms, its because I want you to be warm. Thats what I do. If I put you in a blanket because I think it will get me booty later thats game. Comprende?
Boy y’all stupid we use those terms to add affect. We’re really a pretty intelligent group here. Just having fun. If you’d like to chime in on topic feel free to do so. Also if you’d like to tell us about your academic accomplishments we’re hear to listen. Other than that shut the f*** up. When you talk you make me want to rape a man. Thank you.
What’s up Demi?
By 2CPTG
September 25, 2007 2:45 PM | Link to this
in LaShawn’s defense, it was Sexy who started with the comments….’ol girl just said what she felt…..but I see ain’t nuttin changed about this blog, still like high school cliques; some of y’all still can’t think for yourselves….whatever is popular, that’s what you go with….or cosign, I should say….
By Beautiful
September 25, 2007 2:47 PM | Link to this
FOR REAL, a commitment, me seeing you and you seeing me only, boyfriend and girlfriend, you for me and me for you, etc.
By SexyLeggs
September 25, 2007 2:47 PM | Link to this
Beautiful, why do you post in all caps. I feel like I’m being slapped…LOL
By BennyB
September 25, 2007 2:49 PM | Link to this
Boy y’all stupid
How stupid is to tell stupid people that they are stupid?
You must have some learning disabilities…..
By seldomseen
Septem