By SlimOne

October 8, 2007 8:24 AM | Link to this

Good Morning WLB/MLB & others

By Beautiful

October 8, 2007 8:24 AM | Link to this

Good morning all It’s my choice to be single right now. I’m realizing that I am picky. The only time I’m lonely is when it’s bedtime. I hate sleeping alone.

By AmazonRed

October 8, 2007 8:46 AM | Link to this

Happy Monday All. Special shout outs to early birds SlimOne and Beautiful.

I definitely like me, so I don’t mind hanging with me. You definitely can get complacent with “me time” and not wanting to deal with meeting new people, their representitives and working through their issues. Sometimes I have to force myself out of the house and into the social scene. I moved here to have more opportunities socially, so I should be more willing to get out there. But sometimes the dating scene is just bad if you have any type of standards. LOL. There are a lot of desperate people out there…

By Raqi

October 8, 2007 9:07 AM | Link to this

I think both marrying younger and older has its advantages. Marrying younger seems to be best because you are more adaptable and don’t really have a set of behaviors that you have grown into and you can grow together. But a lot of young marriages are for all the wrong reasons. Marrying older has its advantages because you are more mature and rational in thinking. You can see more of the big picture beyond Fantasy Island. However you are set in your ways and less likely to adapt to having to adjust for someone else.

The biggest challenge that I faced marrying older was sharing my personal space and getting use to another adult/decision maker being in the house. I have mentioned some of those issues here before but since it is the topic at hand I will be more than happy to do so again.

Getting use to having another decision maker has been the biggest challenge. I didn’t realize how difficult that would be because we agreed on a lot of issues prior to marriage and those that we didn’t agree on we just didn’t really have to deal with living in separate houses.

By SlimOne

October 8, 2007 9:08 AM | Link to this

Amazon Weren’t you supposed to send me a FR via ms?

By Spice

October 8, 2007 9:11 AM | Link to this

Good morning… Do you ever think that you are “too good” at being single? YES I do…Wise I feel exactly the same way…I know some people may find this odd or not believe it but I really dont care what people think…good to know someone else does also

my boyfriend lives out of town & if he’s here more than a couple of days Im ready for him to go….people ask me do I ever get lonely & I am like Just because Im alone doesnt mean Im lonely…

Question…I have been involved with this guy for almost three months…he’s divorced but still havent given me the reason “WHY” what happen….he says he will tell me in due time….maybe Im making to much out of it but I find this odd…especially since he;s claiming we are in a committed relationship…whats u all opinion..

By SexyLeggs

October 8, 2007 9:13 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone. I really enjoy being by myself. I always have been. When those scarce “lonely” sensations try to creep into my psyche, I find something to do. Now, it might be cleaning or talking on the phone. It will not be wallowing wishing for something.

There are many pros and cons to marrying younger as there are to marrying later in life. It’s all about the maturity level, the respect, and the desire to bring each person up. Maturity is the ultimate factor.

When I first saw the title for today’s topic, I immediately thought of Tamia’s new CD. Excellent CD.

By Beautiful

October 8, 2007 9:17 AM | Link to this

Did yall read this from Friday? LOL.

This is for Beautiful-Was his name cedric austin-retired from the navy? … read the full comment by Miss G | Comment on Age ain’t nothing but a number Read Age ain’t nothing but a number

By The Truth

October 8, 2007 9:30 AM | Link to this

Good morning blogsville.

On topic: I guess there are trade-offs to everything. Having been married at 26 (after dating for 6 years) I am aware how totally unprepared I was for marriage. I was a selfish b******* then. Fortunately or unfortunately, I’m a selfish b******* by choice now. I don’t really want to make wholesale changes. What I’m doing works for me. I’m a professional me.

I could make some adjstments for a woman I was really interested in but not many. I do what I do and I can do this the forever. If I made to many changes it would be my representative.

This all falls into my theory that we are meaner people on the whole. We don’t care about the next person unless they have some benefit to us, and once that benefit is used up, poof. We are all selfish b******* masquerading as nice people. LOL

Off topic: I hope everyone had a great weekend. In a sick kinda way I care more about you folks than I do some of my next door neighbors. Who could figure?

Morning Slim, WD, Beautiful, Red and all the WLB’ers wandering in after this post.

By latina_in_30004

October 8, 2007 9:30 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone After being happily divorced for the past 12 years, yes I do think that I’m “too good” at being single and there hasn’t been a single day when I have felt lonely. Actually, now that I think about it, the last time I felt lonely was when I was still married.

By AmazonRed

October 8, 2007 9:33 AM | Link to this

Hey SlimOne, I was supposed to hit you up. As you can see, I didn’t! My bad. Still on the “to do” list. LOL

By Jazzyone11

October 8, 2007 9:39 AM | Link to this

Morning ya!!I can deff relate to all of the posts this morning When I feel that lonely bug coming I tend to find something to do to occupy my time, I also meditate, read, and have a vast array of hobbies and interests that I enjoy partaking in from time to time to get back to being centered. Although I am open to someone else coming into my zone they have to be very secure with themselves, have friends and hobbies and be comfortable with self so that when I am doing the me thing they don’t get jealous or antsy. I am the need space type to stay in tuned with me. When I do get married I have a pretty nice sized home so we can get some alone time and find some peace and space if necessary or it Has to be vice versa if I move to his home, this is the way I grew up and my parents are the same way so I think it comes natural for me to have him fall in and get comfortable without rattling my world or make excruciating changes to my lifestyle.

By SlimOne

October 8, 2007 9:49 AM | Link to this

Howdy Truthster We don’t care about the next person unless they have some benefit to us, and once that benefit is used up, poof. We are all selfish b* masquerading as nice people There is much truth in your statement. Everything we do as humans revolves around The Ego. We are taught from a very young age how to manipulate things to get what we want or fulfill a certain feeling. I read an entire article on this very subject which i believe was under the Taoistic Principles.

By itsmorenamorena

October 8, 2007 9:52 AM | Link to this

Buen dia to all (((waving)))

Moms has this habit of telling me that I’ve been by myself too long. That’s her “nice” way of putting pressure on me for grandkids LOL I also realize that’s her way of telling me I’ve become quite self-centered, which I recognize, and is something I want to work on…

While I completely adore my alone time, I’d love to share my time with a deserving gentleman. I rarely get lonely, just like I never get bored. Having been single for so long, and discouraged by the dating scene, us finding each other is taking longer than I would’ve ever imagined. But I’ve accepted that this phase of my life is for me to enjoy as a single woman.

Of course it will be a challenge to learn to share decisions, space, time, when I find myself in a relationship again, but it’s a challenge I look forward to.

By SlimOne

October 8, 2007 9:56 AM | Link to this

I am in the fresh stages of the break-up aftermath and I started to feel that ‘empty nest’ feeling on Saturday as I bummed around on the couch. But then I met up with some girlfriends for a girls night out. I definitely felt better after getting out of the house.

Amazon It’s all good.

By AmazonRed

October 8, 2007 9:57 AM | Link to this

Ugh Truth, too much truth this early in the morning: “Fortunately or unfortunately, I’m a selfish b* by choice now. I don’t really want to make wholesale changes. What I’m doing works for me. I’m a professional me.” Chalk that up to another “con” for dating men who are older and more set in their ways. Still love em though, but they are stubborn old dogs. LOL

By SexyLeggs

October 8, 2007 9:59 AM | Link to this

Hey Truth, you don’t like me anymore…LOL…You haven’t give me a personal shout out in 3 days. SlimOne, ARed, Bre, you guys took my man…LOL…JK.

By MontRell loves white women

October 8, 2007 10:02 AM | Link to this

whats up world

how was the weekend..dont have much to had on the topic…Rell is a people person…so i am never alone or without something to do…come join my party…lol

By Foots

October 8, 2007 10:09 AM | Link to this

Good morning all!!

Of course it will be a challenge to learn to share decisions, space, time, when I find myself in a relationship again

This is what I fear that I will have problems with. My longest relationships have ended up to be long-distance, so I haven’t ever really been faced with this in a relationship on a daily basis.

When I do get into something local, my hackles go up about the “time” issue. I like spending time with someone in the beginning, but the further away I get from my normal routine, the more I miss having my own time and not having some dude up under me all the time. It’s a real problem for me. It makes me itch. I always keep something of my own going, so it’s not that I’m spending so much time with someone. One of my exes, who I loved like I love breathing, said that I didn’t put forth enough effort to spend time together. I realized then that I had a problem.

And the funny thing is that I DO get lonely. And I DO have people I could call to keep me company. But because I know that when they get there I will just want to be by myself, so I don’t even make the call. Maybe I haven’t met the right person that MAKES me want to be with him. Or I could just be looney tunes, I guess. LOL!

By SlimOne

October 8, 2007 10:10 AM | Link to this

Sexyleggs you guys took my man Don’t fret my pet….You know Truthy likes having the variety pack. LOL

By MontRell loves white women

October 8, 2007 10:18 AM | Link to this

NOTE TO MEN…..FIND SOMETHING TO KEEP BUSY….THE P IS NOT GOING ANYWHERE….if you have the womens interest and she has invested in you..find something to do, let go those bonds…and let her have a life…stop sucking the life(sex) out of women…find something to do…if you have that much time to think about blowing out her back…you have that much time to focus on you…mind/body/soul/money..just ya daily game….stop waiting around on the cell phone call..stop all the dayum texting…ya dig

By Foots

October 8, 2007 10:18 AM | Link to this

Do you think that marrying when you are younger (right out of high school or college) is wiser than waiting till you are older?

I think we could go round and round on this question. Raqi answered very well, that both have pros and cons. I think I’m somewhere in the middle right now. My mom says that when I find the right one, he’ll just “fit” into my life, I’ll make the effort to make room for him. I hope she’s right.

Marriage when you’re younger may help with the ability to adapt, but when you have two not-fully-grown people mentally and emotionally, you run the risk of discovering that you’re not compatible down the road as the two of you grow. But I guess the same thing can be said about 30 and ups…it just depends on your individual circumstances.

By The Truth

October 8, 2007 10:23 AM | Link to this

Did Red just call me an old dog? LOL I think its more a thing of knowing what works for you. If you recommend something that works we can do that. If you think I’m going clubbing 5 nights a week you got it twisted.

Sexy sorry hun. I thought I was doing something giving personal shouts to the regulars. However, every time I do it 3 more folks pop up that I missed. I got frustrated and now go with whoever posted before me and then a general wave to blogsville. You know I still have love for ya. LOL Plus this grey weather makes me wanna go jump back in bed.

Rell I just saw that on Montell. That dude ain’t touching a sister. LOL Since he’s on his third the doves aren’t working out to well. LOL

By Beautiful

October 8, 2007 10:24 AM | Link to this

The Truth winking at you

By MontRell loves white women

October 8, 2007 10:31 AM | Link to this

@truth…i am like it is nothing wrong with preference..but dayum could ya at least attempt to date a sister…lol….

but there is nothing wrong with the interracial thing..but come on, after the first one i would have switched up the game..but sisters may have a problem with all that dayum crying he does….lol…

By BLAT

October 8, 2007 10:38 AM | Link to this

Morning, Blogsters… Hope all had a nice weekend… Sup to Truth, Sexxy, NCGirl, Latina, and all the rest of the MLB and WLB.

On Topic, No, I don’t think I’m TOO good at being single; I’m just good enought at it cuz I do me to the fullest until someone crosses my path who’s worth more than 5 minutes of my time. I’m with Truth in that we are who we are and we look for people who are gonna add something to the equation. So while I’m totally a relationship kinda guy at my core, I’m also quick to knock a person out da box for the pickiest lil ish.

OFF TOPIC: I met a girl last nite when i popped by my club after hours…

Question for the Blog: Is it possible for the “wrong” kind of guy or girl to be “right” for you under the proper circumstances???

By Mo (also known as Moeisha)

October 8, 2007 10:40 AM | Link to this

HEY ALL! I am still hiding out but had a minute to pop in!! I see ya’ll are still hanging in tough!!

On topic I am trying to get better at being with just me! It was never a problem before but since I was married for 3yrs and with old boy for 4yrs before that I got used to having someone around! But my adjustment hasnt been too hard. I know that I am not ready for a relationship so that makes it easier. Adjusting to being married was hard for me b/c I had someone who had no idea what compromise was. He was the “everything has to be my way” type, Mr “all or nothing”. If you dont understand that not everyone was raised like you, cleans like you, put dishes in the same cabinets as your mother, etc then you are not ready to be married. Those are the things you have to compromise on that while they may seem small, could turn into big arguments!! Take it from someone who has been there!

Have a good day guys and I’ll try to pop in later!

By SexyLeggs

October 8, 2007 10:43 AM | Link to this

SlimOne, too funny. Yeah, I know Truth likes a variety. I’m glad you got out of the house. We need our “girlfriends” to pull us out of whatever funk is trying to creep in.

Spice perhaps your man doesn’t want to tell you so soon in the relationship that he cheated during his marriage so you wouldn’t think he might cheat on you. Just a thought.

By MontRell loves white women

October 8, 2007 10:45 AM | Link to this

@BLAT…NOPE, never settle homie or go backwards…dont tie yourself to the wrong for right now circumstances..value your seed homie!!!!!

but if you have to….i would get the chick to invest first..i.e. “breaking bread”….give her things to do for you….feel me…when you in this type of situation…sex should be last on the list….this can apply for the women as well

By Raqi

October 8, 2007 11:02 AM | Link to this

I have been a mother my entire adult life so there has always been some one other than myself in the house on most days. But I was the ruler of the house. The entire house. What I said was the only way. Period. Now I share the responsibility. There is no way around it.

As for just living with some one when I wanted to sleep alone I slept alone. There were days when I would rather have not slept alone but…. Now it’s not really a choice. I have a permanent bed and room mate whether I want him there or not. Just having someone there in room, sharing the bathroom or where ever it be he is there when I want him and when I would rather not look at him. It takes some getting use to.

Last week my mate made what I felt was an unreasonable request. But to him his request was more than reasonable because I am his wife. It is those times where you play the balances act. You can choose to disregard the others one request, try to meet in the middle or just discount what you think/thought/want to please him/her. You have to make a decision that you are willing to live with. Choose your battles wisely but don’t let go of your “self”. Weigh the importance of the matter.

By The Truth

October 8, 2007 11:03 AM | Link to this

Sexy you can’t put that cheating thing into Spices psyche. There are a thousand things that can go wrong in a relationship. He may be recovering and just doesn’t want to talk about it. Shame on you. LOL

Rell while i’ll admit sista’s can be a little more work its just something about having one that I couldn’t get from a dove. BTW, that new name is funny as hell.

Blat hell to the yes. Sometimes a chick could be a fill-in. You may know she’s trouble but the azz is good so you keep her around until you do your modifications. Then you move on. lol Thats a part of my selfish basturd. LOL

Question for the married or divorced guys: Me and my boys were talking about marriage Thursday while breaking bread and one brought up the point that marriage is a crap-shoot because the drastic changes women go thru after marraige. What has been the hardest part of being married? Question2: If you knew you’d have to go through that would you do it again?

By SexyCool

October 8, 2007 11:03 AM | Link to this

the biggest change…having to keep the house cleaner than i would all on my own…not that i am a nasty woman…there are just some things that i would let go for a few days when i was by myself…that now…i never leave undone…

for example…every morning before i leave for the day…i clear all of my personal grooming products from the bathroom counter and i make sure that everything is picked up off the kitchen counters and i straighten the living room…just so that we he walks through the door…he walks into cleanliness and order…

oh…and i also change the sheets on my bed more often…(more puddles, wink, wink…lol)

By SexyCool

October 8, 2007 11:05 AM | Link to this

i’m actually digging montrell’s posts…lol…truth AND entertainment, simply beautiful…

By Bre

October 8, 2007 11:07 AM | Link to this

Greetings to all this morning, I hope that your week is getting started off well.

Sexylegs Nah I doubt that Truth does not like me like that.

OnTopicI think the only reason I’ve been in the situation I’m currently holding has much to do with its long distance. I am so into “Me and Mine” its crazy. It will be hard if it ever comes to “Ours and Us”. Might take me a minute to wrap my brain around that. It took me awhile to come into the woman I am today. Lots of up and downs, real true hard life lessons. So it will be a might bit of a challenge for me to adjust to having someone else around full time. But then again I think he will make it easy for me. As he knows I’m crazy at times.

By BLAT

October 8, 2007 11:08 AM | Link to this

@Montrell, Thanx for the imput bruh, but I’m referring more to meeting someone from just a different socio-economic background that on the surface may not appear to be a good match.

I roll with a pretty successful set of folks and know a lot of the “right” kind of people to know, but often when i meet girls in my category like that, we don’t really relate because they can’t seem to respect the little bit of Hood that I have that I’m simply not going to let go of. I’ve just always felt like I relate really well to that set of folks who maybe don’t come from the best of “stock” but are out there gettin theirs, because even though i have a strong family, I’ve had to go out and get everything i have on my own. I picked mostly those proper girls all my life cuz it’s what was expected of me, but i’m finding them more boring. A brutha feelin like he needs him a street-wise go getta with an education. They seem to respect my struggle n how nothing comes easy. And you know what??? Blat ain’t apologizing for it either.

By Lady J

October 8, 2007 11:09 AM | Link to this

Hey Good People….Interesting comments and Truth I thought he sound familar last week…lol Happy Monday All!!!

By SexyLeggs

October 8, 2007 11:12 AM | Link to this

You’re right Truth, there may be a thousand things going wrong, and this may be one of them. One thing this blog offers to both WLB and MLB is this - Don’t fool yourself on any front! Don’t think she hasn’t thought of it. Because he has told her and she has asked, she had made up her own list of possibilities.

By MontRell loves white women

October 8, 2007 11:14 AM | Link to this

@sexy cool..ya nastie….LMAO..puddles…shawty got that wet wet…lol

@truth

the hardest part of being married is the daily management of emotions on both parts…this is atlanta so ya know the temptation is there

would i marry again maybe…realize marriage in itself is a good thing, it is the people involve that fluck it up…choose wisely..feel me

I feel you on folks being selfish..that is true…but the worst thing about marriage is the folks on the outside looking in..once you let folks in your business things will change…that is why i say the management is the hard part..you have to manage alot of dayum things all the time..never a day off…..you have to manage your expectations and your womens…because they will always differ…feel me….

By Foots

October 8, 2007 11:18 AM | Link to this

What will it be like having to always think of another person’s feelings? How will I transition from “It’s all about me” to “Honey, what do you need?”

Is it easier for people who are single parents to make the adjustments necessary for relationships/marriage? Kids really shift a person from just taking care of self to always being cognizant of another’s needs. Or is it completely different when the needs belong to a mate?

By MontRell loves white women

October 8, 2007 11:23 AM | Link to this

@BLAT..i feel you, but at some point bruh..ya have to lose that “Hood” at some point..it is never cute to dumb ya self down for a chick that may respect your struggle…it may define where you came from..but dont let that be the roadmap to where you going…ask Vick about that “Hood” ish…feel me

And those chicks may seem boring because your boring homie…switch ya game up..be a boss…if you have go-getta give her things to do..seems like you may get them but then what…????..that is why i say FIND YOU SOMETHING TO DO..the women maybe a reflection of you but she does not define you….feel me..ya might want to rethink this one..just my two cents

By Raqi

October 8, 2007 11:25 AM | Link to this

Foots There are an equal amounts of ups and downs. On the upside I always have a date. I always have that personal confidant that offers a genuine solution and advice because what affects me affects him whether it is in the present or in the long run.

LOL SexyCool. I clean “More” because I have another person I have to clean after.

By Wise Diva

October 8, 2007 11:26 AM | Link to this

Hey everyone! Interesting comments, so far, and those are great questions Foots, and The Truth!

By SexyLeggs

October 8, 2007 11:27 AM | Link to this

Foots for some women it will be easier. Some of us are more “nurturing” than other thereby not having much of a problem. You’re right, children makes one more cognizant of others. Again, one’s maturity level is The factor.

By SexyCool

October 8, 2007 11:33 AM | Link to this

montrell…do i know you?…you sound like somebody else i know always trying to assign a chick a project to work on…a’ight…now…in a minute, i’m going to give YOU some homework…LOL

oh…and…you know i got that wet, wet…

By Jamocamecrazy aka Asparian

October 8, 2007 11:34 AM | Link to this

Good Morning, Everybody!!…Happy Monday!!! (or not) What’s going on?…..Foots, SexyLeggs, ARed, Staceye, Truth…

However, I do often wonder if mastering the art of aloneness and singlehood is why a lot of us single people get too comfy in our lives. There are times when I wonder if I am too concerned or “self involved” with my own life, family, etc…at times, but I think it possibly has something to do with growing up as an only child (with just my mother), however she did “not play the radio on that tip,” but she was at times overbearing, which made me look forward to that alone time, of not wanting to be bothered..not necessarily in a bad mood, just melancholy. I mean, does anyone here ever get into those “moods” to whereas, nothings wrong…you just don’t feel like talking much? May be it’s just me. I supposed that may also have something to do with my wanting a companion (for now) anyway, b/c at the end of it all: I get to go back to my place and he has to go back to his. I need flexibility right now, with a person who is very comfortable with themselves (which I know someone mentioned earlier) so that way we’re a lot more likely to enjoy each b/c of the distance/ time apart. Does anyone suppose some of us are just somewhat afraid of eventually being inconvenienced….though it may sound or even be selfish? How do you cope with the lonely days of single life? Well…I “like” to clean; it’s almost therapeutic…especially when my mind begins to wonder. However, the feeling usually comes about when I am having a hard time sleeping (late, late night) or during that good, sleeping rain…you know the one I’m referring to. LOL! But it’s usually gone by the time wake in the morning….well sometimes (hehehe…)

By SlimOne

October 8, 2007 11:41 AM | Link to this

Well since we are posing questions and all….For the men on the blog that DO WANT to get married, what is it about marriage that you are seeking to gain from it…or in laymans terms’s, why do you want to get married?

Truth Good question by the way.

By Bre

October 8, 2007 11:45 AM | Link to this

BLAT I totally feel where you are coming from but from a female’s view. I don’t think you should leave that hood part of you out. You never know when you might need to reference back to you. I hate meeting these top notch heads with no insight of the real hustle of a black man. The whole mentality of if I can’t do it I will just pay someone to do it. That’s my biggest irk yet in today’s dating scene. There are no layers to whom a man is anymore. I knew kats back in the day that could meet in the board room then later that night stroll the hood for a look and still get respect. Now they stay behind there big nice homes in the burbs and play ball indoors…ahhhhhh

Rell Vick is a whole diff sit, he was just stupid in it all. At some point in life you really should say, “as a child i did as a child, as a man i am A MAN”. Plenty of players in all sports try to straddle that line, its not easy when so many millions are in your face. I only know a few that have successfully done it in my opinion.

By Foots

October 8, 2007 11:45 AM | Link to this

SexyLeggs Again, one’s maturity level is The factor.

Does that mean that you think a person’s maturity level impacts a person’s level of self-interest, i.e. a less mature person would be less able to adapt to another person?

By SlimOne

October 8, 2007 11:47 AM | Link to this

Jamocamecrazy I mean, does anyone here ever get into those “moods” to whereas, nothings wrong…you just don’t feel like talking much?

Actually I do. I chucked it up as part of my Geminian personality. I was sort of like that this weekend. I had to force myself to go out with my friends on Saturday but once I got out the house, that feeling was gone…..until Sunday came around. LOL

By The Truth

October 8, 2007 11:47 AM | Link to this

NEWS FLASH The Falcons suck. Their coming apart at the seams. LOL Where’s For Real’s azz? Oakland’s in 1st place and Atlanta plays SW Dekalb Friday night. LMAO Prediction: SW Dekalb by a field goal.

You Falcons fans better pool your money so you can start bribing federal judges or this franchise is done. Sorry, they already are. LOL

Sexy of all the things that could go wrong why would you assume that it was cheating? The worst thing a woman could do to me isn’t giving away booty. The worst is mugging up my everyday. Like the song ” I had to say it was a good day”.

Blat I’m with Montrell Lmao on the hood thing. Being hood only pays if your a rapper. And most of those cats don’t talk like that off stage. Up your game a little. Develope a broad band of interests with some key hobbies. Open yourself up to new things. Let that hood thing go. It’ll always be on the inside. Most chicks that like that stuff will give you a waiver if you have some tims. They don’t even know what hood is. LOL

By SexyCool

October 8, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this

@truth….leftwich was GARBAGE yesterday…and he really HAS to be for me to say that because i try to refrain from putting statements like that into writing in a forum that i can’t take back…but it the pass goes into the stands…it is what it is…GARBAGE…

i can’t even give him a pass for being put in at the last minute and not having a chance to warm up…because come on, dude…you’re a professional…again…GARBAGE…

By DuShawn

October 8, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this

If my situation were to go south, I would never get married again. I wouldn’t even enter into another committed/exclusive relationship. I would keep my heart protected and recruit a few fine female receptacles to periodically dump semen into. I normally sing the praises of matrimony, but I’m not in that mood right now. Maintaining a union can be difficult. ”what is it about marriage that you are seeking to gain from it… why do you want to get married?” That’s the ultimate question. Before you make that leap, you really need to objectively evaluate the cost and the benefits. For most men, the cost are obvious. However, the benefits are often not so clear.

By Raqi

October 8, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this

Foots and SexyLeggs I think one of the most important factors of maturing is learning that the universe does not revolve around you and your wants. Once you grow to realize that little fact adapting becomes a whole lot easier.

By Foots

October 8, 2007 11:59 AM | Link to this

Hey Jamoca. * Does anyone suppose some of us are just somewhat afraid of eventually being inconvenienced…though it may sound or even be selfish?*

I think that this is what my earlier post was getting at, but I couldn’t find the word. “Inconvenience” really does describe it. It may that I haven’t been with anyone worth the inconvenience of a full-time partner, where the benefits of being with the person outweigh the inconvenience of the changes I have to make to my life. Or maybe it’s just something I’m going to have to suck up and deal with because I do want a partner one day.

They were talking about how Sags like their independence last week, but they have NOTHING on a Pisces! Shoot, it might be plain old selfishness on my part, but it’s hard to tell because it’s been a part of my personality from Day 1 to prefer my own company. I like being around other people, but only when I feel like it. I don’t know…it’s hard…sometimes I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle, “who I am” against “what I want”… sigh How do I balance this?

By MontRell loves white women

October 8, 2007 12:02 PM | Link to this

@truth…cosign…

@bre..i am not feeling you on the hood thing..to me it is a show thing for females…they think that if you from the hood you tough or something..not true…i meet some plussy arse dudes from the hood..hell atlanta is crawling with them.. ya know the type loud as a motorbike but would not bust a grape in a food fight - Jay z

but i digress

getting nods in the hoods could mean you get a pass because you playing tour guide to this female..but come back thru and you getting dropped…who knows..at any rate it was cute back in the day..but now a days..it is played

and no vick is a classic example of keeping real gone wrong..because any real boss knows never to stick all the work in your name..if he was really hood he would have known that…playing hood will get you caught up everytime…

By Foots

October 8, 2007 12:06 PM | Link to this

Raqi Marrying older has its advantages because you are more mature and rational in thinking. You can see more of the big picture beyond Fantasy Island. However you are set in your ways and less likely to adapt to having to adjust for someone else.

Your 11:56 has a good point in relating maturity to self-interest. But what about the older “set in your ways” folks that you referenced earlier? Are they really mature or have they actually regressed in maturity because they are less likely to adapt to having to adjust for someone else?

By Tazzee

October 8, 2007 12:09 PM | Link to this

Morning Folks!

It’s a busy time for me but I had to chime in on this one.

Do you ever think that you are “too good” at being single? Don’t know if I’m ‘too good’ but being single is one of my better skills, LOL. I am alone quite a bit, but it’s very seldom that I feel lonely. When that does happen, it’s not a longing for male companionship as much as for just companionship. And when that happens I do like Jazzyone and find something to occupy my time.

I know it’s frustrating for guys that I meet because I really don’t put much effort into getting to know folks. I keep telling myself it’s because I really haven’t met anyone really stimulating in a while. For example - when I meet guys that are romantically interested in me, I give them my local cell number. When I travel - I turn that phone off. But I think if I met a guy that really excited me, I would leave it on. I have yet to meet a guy that, when I see his name on my caller id, I get excited. I believe that I’ll have a totally different outlook when I do.

I went out of town to a wedding and the bride was someone who had totally given up on men. I think she was better at being single than I am, LOL. So when I found out she was engaged there was no way I was going to miss her wedding. She was absolutely beautiful - I’d never seen her so happy. The funny thing is, she ended up marrying a man she’d known for a long time.

By SlimOne

October 8, 2007 12:10 PM | Link to this

Du So before you got married, what was your reasoning for doing so…even though you would’t do it again?

By SexyLeggs

October 8, 2007 12:13 PM | Link to this

Foots, no I don’t think one’s maturity level impacts one’s level of “self-interest.” Hoever, I do believe one’s maturity level helps when having to adapt to another.

Exactly Raqi. Would you not consider this maturity?

Truth, the only reason I said cheating MIGHT be one of the reasons is because he doesn’t want to come out and answer her question. They’ve only been dating 3 months and perhaps he feels it’s simply too soon to reveal what the reason is. She asked the question and I decided to give one answer. Do you have any answers you’d like to give?

By 2CPTG

October 8, 2007 12:17 PM | Link to this

Rell, is that you? boi, you’sa a fool, but true.

By SlimOne

October 8, 2007 12:19 PM | Link to this

Tazzee I think life with regards to relationships, amongst other things, is about timing. You can meet someone who appears to be great but at the wrong time so it doesn’t work….Then later on down the line you find yoursef back with that person and things couldn’t have been more perfect. When it’s time, its time; When it’s not, it’s not.

By Bre

October 8, 2007 12:20 PM | Link to this

Rell its cool you don’t have agree. I totally respect whatever opinion you have. I’m not saying walk around with you pants down, cursing like a salior, etc. Now if you’ve lived the silver spoon life your whole life, you know hedge fund trust fund new generation money then by all means be you. Faking it only makes you look worst. However though if you were born there, rasied there, and just recently moved out. Then don’t get on a all mighty horse like you never been in the hood then yes its an issue. ya know the type loud as a motorbike but would not bust a grape in a food fight are everywhere…trust in that.

By Raqi

October 8, 2007 12:25 PM | Link to this

Foots I am very much set in my ways. But I know the world does not revolve around me. Sometimes we go three or four rounds on the same issues because I or he for that matter has our own way of doing. Like I said earlier at this stage in life you see the big picture. Most of us don’t want to change for anybody. It is hard because we don’t want to change but you know it’s not all about “me”. It is about we, us, our. It’s hard but necessary.

By BLAT

October 8, 2007 12:26 PM | Link to this

MontRell n Truth…. understand first that this is not a defense, because Blatino needs none, but it’s like this: When I refer to the Hood in me, i’m not talkin wearing do-rags and talking like I’m uneducated. I’ve never done that and I never will. My HOOD refers to the fact that I’m proud of my humble beginnings, and that I’ll be just as happy eating a simple no-frils dinner that my boy’s no-english speaking mom prepares as I would in a white table cloth establishment. My hood refers to the fact that I never try to act better than what I am and can’t stand people who do. My hood refers to the fact that I HATE plastic people and their plastic ways.

What I’m referring to from the ladies is these “proper” girls who would absolutely DIE if their power went out for a day and they had to make other arrangements, who wouldn’t know how to do without even for a minute because they never knew how or forgot how.

So HE!! NO I’m not gonna change that about me and “up my game”. My game IS up. I regularly amaze people with Masters and PhD’s with the depth of my homegrown education and ways. I’m in the sales department for the third largest private software company on the planet. They LOVE me. It’s just they also bore me because when I need to take a walk on the wild side, they dare not follow, as they have not the intestinal fortitude to do so.

By MontRell loves white women

October 8, 2007 12:26 PM | Link to this

@2cptg….yep it is me!!….i am back the powers that be have cut me off to my other blogs so i am back to chop it up…i hate that TOS took a dive…that was the ish…but all good thing…ya know..all good things

By Jazzyone

October 8, 2007 12:34 PM | Link to this

Miss TOS as well!!

By Tazzee

October 8, 2007 12:37 PM | Link to this

Blat Keep doing what you’re doing! I can totally relate to your 12:26 post

By DuShawn

October 8, 2007 12:41 PM | Link to this

Slim My case was an anomaly. I didn’t follow any of the typical rules of intelligent decision-making. I was in love, we had been through a lot together and the timing was right (i.e. I wanted to be married). In retrospect, my reasoning was illogical. Honestly, if I had taken the time to objectively evaluate the situation, do a cost/benefit analysis or considered the advice of others, I probably would not have done it. I made that decision with my heart and not my mind.

By 2CPTG

October 8, 2007 12:42 PM | Link to this

Jazzy, Rell, fret not, the ship hasn’t sunk…….where’s Disco Das?

By Jazzyone

October 8, 2007 12:42 PM | Link to this

Blat I feel exactly where you are coming from!!

By Jazzyone

October 8, 2007 12:46 PM | Link to this

well being able to blend in the hood and hustle are different than exhibiting and partaking in hood activities, I think it helps one to be able to blend and fall in and still keep your core self in tact…what the heyal am I talking about??..LOL

By 2CPTG

October 8, 2007 12:46 PM | Link to this

Blat, you wouldn’t happen to work for that software company in Gwinnett County, off Satelite Blvd, would you? (witholding name, so as not to put ya bizz out there)

By Foots

October 8, 2007 12:47 PM | Link to this

Raqi It is hard because we don’t want to change but you know it’s not all about “me”.

That ties it together for me, that puts maturity somewhere in the middle of the two extremes, with a person’s willingness to see the whole picture and compromise, instead of being a “my way or else” type person. I think there are very few (if any) totally selfless people in the world, but many of us are able to sacrifice our wants for the good of the relationship or other people in general the majority of the time. I know that I have the ability to do it and won’t hesitate to do it if necessary, but the desire to do it alludes me sometimes. I’m probably a little to the right of the middle on the selfless/selfish spectrum.

By Raqi

October 8, 2007 12:48 PM | Link to this

For me there are three ways of life. The right way, the wrong way and my way. I have had nearly 40 years to become accustomed to “my way”. But the right way supersedes my way at the end of the day because of maturity and rationale.

In a perfect world I would think the “right way” the first time on every situation but I don’t live there. But I do know that it is not all about me. Even when I choose not to adapt I know that it not all about me. Don’t we all wish we lived in that perfect world?

By Jazzyone

October 8, 2007 12:49 PM | Link to this

* Hey 2* I don’t know i wish i had his number I would hit him up and see how hes doing..he is probably on a road trip right about now, you know hes our world traveller..(sp)

By Jazzyone

October 8, 2007 12:50 PM | Link to this

2 send out an SOS to Das

By SexyCool

October 8, 2007 12:52 PM | Link to this

2cptg…you ALWAYS make me smile…BOI I LOVE YOU!!!!!

By Foots

October 8, 2007 12:54 PM | Link to this

Blat Sounds like you’re somewhere in the middle of High Class and Hood. If going up to High Class bores the heck out of you, by all means, go down to Hood. You may be able to bring her up to your level (by exposing her to new things in your world) more quickly than you can bring Miss High Class down. Or you can find someone who just “moved on up to the East Side” and is comfortable there, but still has West Side tendencies. LOL! If this chick fits the bill either way, give it a shot!

By Jazzyone

October 8, 2007 12:55 PM | Link to this

RAQI OHMAHGAH..I love your last post and in my introspective times these are the thoughts that pass across the marquee of my mind…

By SlimOne

October 8, 2007 12:59 PM | Link to this

DuShawn Do I sense regret in your last post? From your past posts, it seems you’re still able to partake in nu-nu according to the relationship and/or understanding between you and your wife. So even with that extra bonus, do you regret being married now?

By 2CPTG

October 8, 2007 1:00 PM | Link to this

speaking of hood, Sexy Cool, I remember back in the days, waaaaay back when, you posted that once upon a time you wanted “a mouf fulla gold“…I still chuckle when I think about that….and something else about bein’ a “Possum Queen”??? talk about hood…or would that be Kuntry?

By SexyCool

October 8, 2007 1:01 PM | Link to this

@montrell…the hardest part of being married is the daily management of emotions on both parts…this is atlanta so ya know the temptation is there…you better preach…you better preach…

By 2CPTG

October 8, 2007 1:05 PM | Link to this

I love you 2, Sexy…..it’s funny, I posted that above comment before you gave me some love……see, you were on my mind….

By SlimOne

October 8, 2007 1:08 PM | Link to this

Question So since dating in ATL is so hard it seems due to high risk level of temptation, do yall think i’d have better chances moving to one of the underground cities out west?

Slim now taking cover behind a self-made fort built from the breakroom paper plates

By Jazzyone

October 8, 2007 1:08 PM | Link to this

Slim I was typing that question to Dushawn as well..what gives?? You seem to have the best of both worlds and the longer I read you the more I realize it seems you may have an open marriage, is there something we don’t know??

By SexyCool

October 8, 2007 1:10 PM | Link to this

yes, 2…when i was about 17…i didn’t necessarily want a MOUFFULL…but…i did want at least one gold tooth…and the queen i wanted to be was the WATERMELON QUEEN…yes, Kuntree - with a capital K…

By Foots

October 8, 2007 1:17 PM | Link to this

Slim/DuShawn That’s a good question. It seems as though most men’s aversion to marriage has to do with not wanting to be with just one woman for the rest of his life. But if a man has the opportunity to be with nu-nu on a very regular basis with not only his wife’s permission, but also her participation, wouldn’t that be the ideal situation? No guilt about the other women, plus someone to take care of the home and raise the children. Or do the reasons why he says that he wouldn’t get married again go far past this? Interesting…

By 2CPTG

October 8, 2007 1:19 PM | Link to this

and that’s why I loves me some Sexy Cool!!!

can ya boi get a poem??? sum’in smooth, and befitting….

By SlimOne

October 8, 2007 1:19 PM | Link to this

I never did get the whole ‘gold teeth’ phenomena. It’s definitely a turn off to me. JMO

By Jazzyone

October 8, 2007 1:20 PM | Link to this

Slim nah, I think its all relative keep doing what you have been doing and he will come, but thats just me…

By Jazzyone

October 8, 2007 1:28 PM | Link to this

Sexycool what’s your blog address, I need a shot of your eloquence and thought provoking writing my dayum self!

2 do you still have your blog and writing as well??

By MontRell loves white women

October 8, 2007 1:28 PM | Link to this

ok ok ok…back from chow

@blat…if that is hood…then i think we all have it in us…meaning the ones that came up that way..trust i am by no means refined or uppity…trust me on that..i am just not braggin on it..i just push the button when i have too..and i dont knock whomever i am dating because they came up different…feel me…it is all about growth..but i digress

@du…i cosign on your post homie…all the way..

@slim..dating is not hard..it is the management part that sucks..trust me it is management…when you dont enable behavior but provide correction that is when the problem comes in..feel me…like sexycool said when you have to cleanup behind someone else it is a chore…and it is not always dirty cloths you clean up when you attach yourself to someone..

but dating is eazy…you meet.eat/drink/watch/dance/screw..etc..then you go home and they go home..what is hard about that….

By 2CPTG

October 8, 2007 1:28 PM | Link to this

Slim, in ref to the Gold Teeth thing…although I don’t have any, Trick Daddy said it best…..[We] (Floridians) were raised a lil bit different than y’all….

By SlimOne

October 8, 2007 1:29 PM | Link to this

Foots That would be my guess as a issue preventing men to marry. I wonder if there is still that selfish want to enjoy some nu-nu that has not connection to wifey period. I’ve heard at times from men that they may want a ‘relationship’ with another women and it not be known by the SO or wife…something that is all their own. I’m not sure how true that is. Maybe he can shed some light on this.

By DuShawn

October 8, 2007 1:33 PM | Link to this

Slim ”do you regret being married now?” No, I don’t regret it. I’m in a real blessed situation. Regardless of whom you choose, marriage requires a lot of sacrifice and effort. Is it worth it? The verdict is still out on that shyt for me. Like I’ve stated in this forum several times, it’s all an ebb and flow. Some days I watch her while she sleeps and thank the heavens above for bringing this beautiful woman into my life. Other days I look at her and think “I should break my ankle off in her mafuggin azz. What the f&ck was I thinking..” As you can prolly tell from the tone of my post. Today falls in the latter category. Jazzy We have our fun, but that’s a small, and really insignificant part of our relationship. If the other areas are not in sync, you’re not in place mentally to vibe like that. If you ask me about matrimony a few days from now I’ll probably be the happ hubby again. Right now I’m a little .38 with her.

By MontRell loves white women

October 8, 2007 1:33 PM | Link to this

@Foots

But if a man has the opportunity to be with nu-nu on a very regular basis with not only his wife’s permission, but also her participation, wouldn’t that be the ideal situation? — Not all the time…but i digress

By SexyCool

October 8, 2007 1:34 PM | Link to this

Oratory explorations Of abstract creations Take me on journeys across nations

Inaudible expressions Of love and affection Keep me wondering what’s next when

I close my eyes And you open my thighs And take me on magic carpet rides Across the sands of time, Crossing the lines That aren’t quite that sublime

Time and time again Feeling this good is a sin And I can’t handle it when You call my name It makes me insane When we play the game Of hide and go get it You make me so wet it Is impossible to forget it

Doesn’t seem quite real The feelings I feel I can’t keep it still

So caught up in you, on’t know what to do. I can’t think things through Constantly wondering why The truth becomes lie When there is no you And there is no I.

copyright 2004 (never quite know whether the form is going to post properly, but we’ll see)

By SexyLeggs

October 8, 2007 1:40 PM | Link to this

DuShawn, I haven’t read anything that honest about marriage in a long time..LOL…hey, that’s the bottom line.

Dayum SexyCool, much love to you girl.

By SexyCool

October 8, 2007 1:41 PM | Link to this

jazzy…email me and i’ll send it to ya…

cscfromajc@yahoo.com

By MontRell loves white women

October 8, 2007 1:47 PM | Link to this

good one sexycool

du….cosign brother…real muthaphunkin talk

By SlimOne

October 8, 2007 1:48 PM | Link to this

MontRell So the issue that dudes wouldn’t care to have to deal with, aside from not getting nu-nu, is having to be responsible for another person as far as everything goes; feelings, decisions, etc? At least thats what one of my married male friends told me. He said it was serious work to be a decent/good husband and having to be responsible for someone else. I’ve shacked up with a SO for 3 years before, so i am fully aware of the things you have to do that become more of a chore than anything else. As far as dating, yes it is easy….The weeding out those that are compatible with you, on the same page with you is the hard part…or should i say where the ‘work’ comes into play. Due to the ration of women to men here, most would don’t really want to take a particular female serious because he’d rather play with the other 10 that’s not sweating a monogamous setup.

2CPTG Believe me, i’m not knocking it. I had a crush on this dude in 8th grade that had one gold. I’m so glad it never turned into anything. Not saying anything about gold-tooth wearing dudes, just this one…He now has 6 kids with 4 different baby mommas.

Dushawn Some days I watch her while she sleeps and thank the heavens above for bringing this beautiful woman into my life. Other days I look at her and think “I should break my ankle off in her mafuggin azz. What the f&ck was I thinking Well you’re no different in your thinking on married life than single folks. Sometimes we’re like Whoa, i’ve got so many choices to choose from and play around with…but then there are days we wish he had that somebody there..the stability. No one is going to feel consistenly one way, single or not.

By Foots

October 8, 2007 1:51 PM | Link to this

Rell would i marry again maybe…realize marriage in itself is a good thing, it is the people involve that fluck it up…choose wisely..

I agree that one should choose wisely, but do you really know how wise your choice is until you get into the marriage? Before you actually got married, were there signs that she wasn’t your wisest choice or did those signs come after you were married?

By Tazzee

October 8, 2007 1:55 PM | Link to this

OK, after ready SexyCool’s poem during this time of the month - umm, this is one of those times I would love to have a man at the crib when I got home. But I’ll just have some chocolate instead, LOL.

By MontRell loves white women

October 8, 2007 1:56 PM | Link to this

@slim

He said it was serious work to be a decent/good husband and having to be responsible for someone else.

^^^^^that is my point

plus nowhere is it written that the good comes before the bad…sometimes the bad comes so the good will be that much sweeter..feel me…but the bad is hard to swallow when you can just say fluck it and walk…

but on the other side looking out…i got the game mastered now..so that is why i spit from my POV because i been on both sides of the spectrum..like i said you get wisdom after the event

By Foots

October 8, 2007 1:59 PM | Link to this

Slim Well you’re no different in your thinking on married life than single folks. Sometimes we’re like Whoa, i’ve got so many choices to choose from and play around with…but then there are days we wish he had that somebody there..the stability.

I think that sometimes men need to hear that women feel that same way. I bet that it surprises some of them to know that marriage isn’t the dream come true they think it is for women either. Even in this forum, several women have expressed that they are happier single than they were married.

At least we get to hear both sides before making the decision and make up a good cost/benefit analysis (to quote DuShawn) before making the big leap. Looking at the big picture, I know that I would still choose marriage in the end, if only because the alternative isn’t that desirable to me.

By Lady J

October 8, 2007 2:00 PM | Link to this

Do you ever think that you are “too good” at being single? Not at all…just getting use to it and truly liking it for face value…It is not a bad thing at all and I sucked at it early on but truly croosed that hump…J

Do you think that marrying when you are younger (right out of high school or college) is wiser than waiting till you are older? I married a year out of college and we were together from sophamore year and yes once we married after we shacked it went down hill…We were too young and we were all we knew and moved to a urban place together did not help…It is ok to be single and marry when you are truly ready and not when society says so…J

If you are engaged or married, what were the toughest challenges you faced when things shifted from “just me” to” what’s mine is yours”? This is a funny question bc while we shacked it was cool and as soon as I became Ms J I saw attitude in my ex-hubby I never phantom he had…I was like who are who and what did I do to you…He was very overwhelmed with the whole idea and it didn’t help we convieved in the process…So being married is serious bc you take on each others all…J

A friend of mine asked me the other day if I ever got lonely. I had to stop and really think about the last time I felt “alone”. I suppose those moments are fleeting, and I don’t dwell on them for long. How do you cope with the lonely days of single life? This past year has been so busy for me…I stop yapping about being single and trying to make dating more than what it is and do things I enjoy and date in the process…Dating on my terms not anyone else terms…It’s not that bad at all…The nights I am alone i am happy and content…J

By Tazzee

October 8, 2007 2:02 PM | Link to this

Foots but do you really know how wise your choice is until you get into the marriage? I think that is the fear that keeps a lot of folks from moving forward in relationships. In everything else in life, if you schmuck it up, you know that it won’t be hard to make things right (buying a car or house, accepting a job offer, etc.) But if you really believe in the ‘till death do us part’ - then there’s always that ‘what if he/she isn’t the one?’ thought. Well, at least for me that is my biggest fear.

When I left Atlanta, I left with the notion of ‘if I don’t like it, I’ll move back’ When I bought my first house, I bought it with the notion of ‘I’ll give it at least five years, then if I don’t like it I’ll sell or rent’ And when I accepted this job offer I did with the notion of ‘I’ll give it two years and if it’s not right, I’ll leave’ With marriage - it’s not like that. That is why I freeze up at the first mention of marriage from a guy. Even in jest, if a guy mentions marriage I get short of breath…

By Jazzyone

October 8, 2007 2:06 PM | Link to this

DU* thanks for the explanation, honest, very honest..I am still crackingup on this part Dushawn Some days I watch her while she sleeps and thank the heavens above for bringing this beautiful woman into my life. Other days I look at her and think “I should break my ankle off in her mafuggin azz. What the f&ck was I thinking

Sexycool see thats what i’m talking about sigh You are the BOMB

By SlimOne

October 8, 2007 2:08 PM | Link to this

Foots I have agree with you. I would still choose the later because I’m simply not made for the single existence. I know that about myself but at the same time, I would not rush into a marriage just because it was something i want to do. Me and Future Mister Man would definitely have to on the same page. P.S. I’ve sent Mr. Bullet off to vacation a few weeks ago. Even though I think of him often on those nights alone, i’m really having to exercise some serious control not to call him back home on business LOL!

By 2CPTG

October 8, 2007 2:10 PM | Link to this

SexyCool, you never fail me, girl…..speaking of which…wanna ghostwrite something for me? of cour$e, I got you…holla at me, and I’ll give you more details….

Jazzy, yep, still doin my thang, as well…..tellin ya, when it hits the bookstores it’s gon be a bestseller…….just waitin’ on sJea (winking).

By DuShawn

October 8, 2007 2:10 PM | Link to this

“but do you really know how wise your choice is until you get into the marriage?” Excellent Point. I equate it to the NFL draft. You may have a prospect with excellent stats, Heisman trophy and National Championship winner. They showed well at the combine and look good on paper, then get in the league and are a bust. Another prospect played in a smaller division, mediocre stats, little recognition, but a lot of ability, potential and a natural love for the game. This player becomes a Hall of Famer. Who do you draft? You never truly know until you sign them.

By MontRell loves white women

October 8, 2007 2:11 PM | Link to this

@FOOTS

I can only deal with me..and the signs with me where there..but i decided against being a selfish person and do it…my main problem was i had a women that loved me and wanted to be around me..but i did not want to be there at the time….feel me..so from that starting point..i would say from my part…but when i got in..the role was comfortable for me but again…my main problem was having a women that loved me and wanted me to be around but i did not want to…i wanted to do me…but that has been a problem of mine from young..i like to do my own thing..sometimes without the input of others…so again it is not marriage but the people and the management of feelings…feel me

By Wise Diva

October 8, 2007 2:16 PM | Link to this

Ms. SexyCool, wow, you know that you could get a recording artist to bring your words to a fantastic song. I kept thinking of that “Crown Royal on Ice” song by Jill Scott.

By BLAT

October 8, 2007 2:39 PM | Link to this

Tazzee n Jazzy… Thanks.. I knew ya’ll would get it.. Blog wink and a booty tap for ya.

2CPTG… Actually, Alpharetta, on Morris Road…

Foots. EXACTLY…. Finally!!! cuz it’s not about where you’re from, it’s where you’re trying to go. A new Eastsider with Westside tendencies at least knows what it takes to get from point A to point B, so that if you ever have to take a step back, they ain’t scared cuz they’re prepared!!!

By Foots

October 8, 2007 3:01 PM | Link to this

Tazzee I feel you. It’s one of my fears too. I think that Du broke it down very well in terms of football. At least in football, you can trade or otherwise get rid of your non-producing player. I guess you can do that in marriage too, but not if you look at it from the “til death do us part” angle. Unless, you kill em, which I don’t exactly advocate. LOL!

Rell It seems like you were not ready to be married, but you wanted to do right by the woman who loved you and had your back. Do you think you’ll ever find a woman who will love you like that again? Or maybe the two of you can try again down the road?

By Jamocamecrazy aka Asparian

October 8, 2007 3:13 PM | Link to this

@ Foots:

“…..Unless, you kill em?” LOL!! Dang!

By MontRell loves white women

October 8, 2007 3:14 PM | Link to this

@foots…of course i think that….i think there are about 10 other women out there that would do the same thing…but i am cool over here…..no worry…feel me. I never think life stops from tragic events…it will go on

By Beautiful

October 8, 2007 3:17 PM | Link to this

Good nite yall until then. I got homework to do. Smooches!!!

By 2CPTG

October 8, 2007 3:19 PM | Link to this

wait a minute…..Rell, I’ve been speed reading, but say it ain’t so!!! you and the Mrs aren’t calling it quits, are you?

Man, if you are, I’mma holla at you later….is your number still the same?

By Jazzyone

October 8, 2007 3:20 PM | Link to this

Montell I know a chick that would be peeerrrfffeecctt for you! LOL!!

By SlimOne

October 8, 2007 3:25 PM | Link to this

I’m SOOOO sleepy! Arrrrggghhh!

By MontRell loves white women

October 8, 2007 3:26 PM | Link to this

@2…the game is in the fourth quarter homie…but who knows…the number is still the same get at me

By MontRell loves white women

October 8, 2007 3:33 PM | Link to this

@Jazzy…..somebody had a funny couple for lunch i see…lmao..cute..lol

By MontRell loves white women

October 8, 2007 3:34 PM | Link to this

@Jazzy…..somebody had a funny combo for lunch i see…lmao..cute..lol

By SexyCool

October 8, 2007 3:36 PM | Link to this

montrell…what happened to us hanging out yesterday, homie?

By The Truth

October 8, 2007 3:48 PM | Link to this

Ok, just got back from a trip up north.

Slim, to answer your question: I would get married again becuase I love the way a woman softens my hard edges, feeds me when I’m driving, gets excited when we plan a trip. Also, it gives me a chance to do what I do, handle my thang. I love the way she smells, tastes, feels. I enjoy when she takes care of me, wipes the sweat from my brows, just acts like a woman. Right now I’m idling in the fast lane.

Also, from a practical standpoint, fuggin is nothing short of scary nowadays. I’m tired of waiting 10 days to see if my shyts gonna burn. I hate condoms and I want to feel a woman, damn some rubber. Now if a woman can’t pass a taste test its a no go.

Plus i have the skills to make it happen now. I didn’t know what I was doing he first time. LOL

I just cannot be with a woman that thinks arguing is the way to go. We all know where thats going. LOL

Blat I understand where your coming from now. I would just call that acknowledging your past. A beautiful thing is being able to go back and forth between both worlds and feeling comfortable.

Rell are you contemplating divorce dude? Sorry but I’m just getting back in. Enlighten.

By MontRell loves white women

October 8, 2007 3:48 PM | Link to this

@SC, i think your fingers were suffering from nophonecallphobia…last word was i was to recieve a call to get my gps location…lol…but that phobia that hits our community hard came up…lol…so i think you might need to hit wally world for a no flake supplement…lol

By Mo (also known as Moeisha)

October 8, 2007 3:56 PM | Link to this

Okay I was speed reading while I was on break and you guys are something else!! LOL I have been laughing!

SlimOne I am sleepy as hellz too!! Will 5 o’clock come on!!!

By BLAT

October 8, 2007 4:00 PM | Link to this

That’s my point, Truthster. Whichever woman chooses to be mine must be able hop on that plane and take the ride with me when I go, or at least appreciate that i’m gonna make regular trips and look forward to the souvenir…

By SlimOne

October 8, 2007 4:04 PM | Link to this

Truth Right now I’m idling in the fast lane Sounds like an oxymoron…I would think someone like For Real or or montrell would come up behind flashing their lights and honking their horn for you to get over. LOL!

I love the things you described about what you like from the woman. It was poetry in its own right. BUT you can’t just go around saying stuff like: I love the way she smells, tastes, feels.* all willy nilly and stuff. SPecially when you got folks like me who approved BulletMan to take a leave of absense.

Slim now checking fellow office freaks desk for unused harware

By DuShawn

October 8, 2007 4:20 PM | Link to this

Truth you trippin. A well behave trick can do all those thing you describe. “feeds me when I’m driving,” you can buy a mafuggin monkey to do dat shyt…lol

By SexyCool

October 8, 2007 4:23 PM | Link to this

rell…oh, um…okay, my bad…(sounding and looking crazy)

By SexyCool

October 8, 2007 4:33 PM | Link to this

oh…and rell…i’ma be mad if ya’ folk score more than 35 points tonight and you beat me…i’ma be mad fuh real…lol…

By MontRell loves white women

October 8, 2007 4:40 PM | Link to this

Sounds like truth and slim in the same boat…..both of them in need of some positive strokes…lol

i dont want food while i am driving..but some of that ga dome would be perfect on 285…lol

By The Truth

October 8, 2007 4:43 PM | Link to this

DU let me kick my game dude. LMAO I’m not dealing with monkeys anymore. I don’t want to waste more time or resources. I don’t want to hit most of the chicks I meet. As I said its scary and the Truth is losing his heart for the hunt. Let me pull over in the slow lane and cruise.

You may have days where you want to strangle your girl but out here everyday is one of those days. This shyt gets old. I’ve been single and dating for 17 years. I’ve done everything a dude could want to do and can’t remember the chicks I’ve done it with. I’ve had enough. Not saying getting married is better but at least you know what your coming home to (most of the time). 10 years ago I said I had done all a dude could want in life except run a successful business and raise a family. I’ve run a successful busines, minus this year. LOL Time to move on.

I remember when the thought of knocking some chick off was the bomb. Now I get more excited when I hear some cat is hanging with his family and having fun. I’ve read your posts, your enjoying your thing. Let me get my piece. Puddy will always be there.

By Kidnappers (Not Named For Real)

October 8, 2007 4:48 PM | Link to this

Slim We are in possession of a certin friend of yours with the initial BM (No, not that BM). We are holding him hostage in a wet-nap. Dang girl you put in work don’t you? Anyway, if you ever want to see BM again I want $10,000 in nickles and dimes. I don’t want anybody tracing the money.

By SlimOne

October 8, 2007 4:55 PM | Link to this

Monrell How did i know the day would’t end w/o someone talking about “ga dome” in the car. LOL!

By Jamoca

October 8, 2007 4:57 PM | Link to this

“Let me get my piece. Puddy will always be there” …well said, (Truth)…that’s alright, right there!

By The Truth

October 8, 2007 4:59 PM | Link to this

Oh yeah. The final straw. I had a 21 yo chick by here a while back and the chick fell asleep on my couch. When she woke up she had peed on my fuggin couch. Can you believe that? She still wanted to give me some azz after she peed on my couch. I’m through overlooking shyt to get some azz.

By AmazonRed

October 8, 2007 5:37 PM | Link to this

Wow, y’all were dropping knowledge today! Til next time.

By Blue_Kolla

October 9, 2007 3:44 PM | Link to this

Lonely? Not in The A. Everybody got “fallbacks”.