By Lady J

November 19, 2007 8:19 AM | Link to this

Good Morning!!! Great topic… Go Falcons!!!

By binford

November 19, 2007 8:25 AM | Link to this

Binford passes around the short-week Dunkin Donuts and Dunkin Coffee

When seeing a woman, I go through a progression (or checklist) to see if she is in the ballpark - this is usually the visual “eyeing” up part (her look, her style, etc.).

Then I talk to her and try to find out if she qualifies for any of Binford’s Dealbreakers (i.e. kids, smokes, evangelical christian). If she passes through that then I really to see if I like the cut of her jib.

As for me, I make a heinous first impression. One of my best friend’s girlfriend (now wife) asked that I not be allowed back in the house after meeting her the first time. LOL. I’ve had too many people that have told me that when they first meet me, they think I am an a*******h**e and then when they know me, they think I’m a really nice person - just a bit krass (like my friend’s wife). Now I’ve toned down a bit with old age, but I bet it’s still a bit true. I think I am an easy person to get …in time.

My guess as to who is inclined to make snap judgements - I do think it is the wimmenz. Men are usually willing to give a good amount of chances up front.

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 8:28 AM | Link to this

My recent date told me I seem a bit bossy and I told him I wasn’t a lil demanding but I don’t think I am bossy…He and others have said I am not those students I talk to at school so I guess I need to work on my tone…Told him I am cool peeps…He did call back…lol

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 8:32 AM | Link to this

Diva I do be wondering what the guys thoughts are bc they are not sharing…All they say is you cool…guess their actions speak more if they are feeling you are not…reading between the lines I think…But on the other hand some men will let you know right then and there…

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 8:35 AM | Link to this

I know that is right binford…Can’t wait til tomorrow @ 3:10…I am out with the quickness!!!

By ImAPeach404

November 19, 2007 8:42 AM | Link to this

Hey everybody. Long time, no blog

This subject is very appropriate for me — I was just talking to a friend last night about 2 guys that I met over the weekend whom I weren’t going to call due to bad first impressions.

Guy #1 is Muslim - to each his own, but I know that we have totally different views about, well, everything. And, he and another friend were having a conversation about how they “weren’t ready for monogamy”. After I heard that, my first impression of him was not positive. I decided I wouldn’t even go there.

Guy #2 I met at restaurant/club this weekend and we chopped it up for a while, he gave me his number and I head to the bar to get a drink. He follows behind me so he can order his drink too. Well, I don’t drink so all I wanted was a sprite. I order the sprite… he’s standing there looking… asked why all I want is a sprite… (me) “Oh, I don’t really drink”… I thought he might offer to pay for my drink since it was only a sprite, but he doesn’t. He just looks and nods his head and orders his own drink. He could have automatically gotten brownie points by offering to pay for my drink - everybody knows they don’t make you pay for soft drinks at the bar!!! Why wouldn’t you offer???

I know dudes have issues with buying drinks and all, but if you’ve talked for a while, displayed your interest, and already gave her your number AND all she wants is a (free) sprite/soda…… come on!

By Wordsmith

November 19, 2007 8:45 AM | Link to this

Morning, all. :-) I trust that everyone’s weekend was a good one.

As a man, I think it would be somewhat difficult for me to “get” a woman’s personality, humor or other internal attributes, if indeed her own immediate focus seems to be on impressing me with her physical attributes. As a matter of fact, I would think it quite humorous that a woman would, for our initial encounter, dress so revealingly only to concern herself later with whether or not I “got” who she “really” was.

Speaking only for myself, I’d rather not have to sift in my own mind through the question of whether or not a woman could (or not) be a “floozy”, and how she dresses and carries herself goes along way toward helping me not have to do that. I’d much rather “get” where you are mentally first. But, again, to each his/her own, I guess.

By 2CPTG©

November 19, 2007 8:46 AM | Link to this

morning……

31-7 (in y’all house!)

By Rell

November 19, 2007 8:52 AM | Link to this

I thought he might offer to pay for my drink since it was only a sprite, but he doesn’t. He just looks and nods his head and orders his own drink. He could have automatically gotten brownie points by offering to pay for my drink - everybody knows they don’t make you pay for soft drinks at the bar!!! Why wouldn’t you offer???

^^^typical…..hell you could offer some azz as well that would get you MAJOR brownie points….but again it is expect not appriacted when men offer to buy drinks….

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 8:53 AM | Link to this

LOL 2…Revamping is needed!

By Kym-Proud Steeler Nation Member since 1994

November 19, 2007 8:53 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

Off-Topic-My Steelers lost to the Jets and I have a hangover from that so any sudden movements-lets just say I will not be held responsible for my actions today. On the other hand the Fakecons lost big…so the sky is a tad bit bluer..Thats what you get for dissing Joey Harrington

On-Topic I have been told that based on my appearance that I am stuck-up, sweet and innocence, b*ty and a host of other untruths. Until you get to know a person you have no clue who they really are. It goes back to never judging a book by the cover. Now we have all met someone who gave us a great first impression and then turned out to be the total opposite. “When a person shows you who they really are believe them-Maya A.”

By SexyLeggs

November 19, 2007 8:57 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone. Love this topic and can’t wait to see the MLB have to say. I am usually misjudged. I have been called prissy and proper my entire life. When women first see me, they don’t care for me because of my outspokeness. Men see me as being bold and daring. I’m the type you either love when you FIRST meet me or love. After awhile, most everyone like me.

First impressions are important, but sometimes can be misleading. I don’t think that “first impression” should stop a person from delving deeper to know someone.

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 8:58 AM | Link to this

Kym I could not believe it…Football was weary yesterday!!! Go Steelers inspite of!!!

By 2CPTG©

November 19, 2007 8:59 AM | Link to this

Lady J, couldn’t WAIT to blast them birds fans…..where’s Tazz?

By Dan

November 19, 2007 8:59 AM | Link to this

Personally, I’m a lot like Binford. I make a horrible first impression, given the environment. Such as, if I’m out blowing off steam, I get the A*h comments.

Usually when we meet again, and I’m in chill mode they see the other side of my personality. In truth, both encounters reveal parts of my personality. It’s just that the meeting can be a little off-putting.

But should you judge this book by its cover, you do so at your own peril. I dress one way for comfort, yet have an enitrely different intellectual personality. But all that is preseciant, even in ah mode.

By Rell

November 19, 2007 8:59 AM | Link to this

remedy for falcons - NEW COACH!!!!…the team as tuned out mr petrino….he is done and i bet alot of vets are in there agents ear like get me off the team

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 9:02 AM | Link to this

i know 2…Tazz will be in later…Rell you are right!

By Dan

November 19, 2007 9:04 AM | Link to this

@Peach

I’m sorry darling, but there are two things wrong with that statment:

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 9:05 AM | Link to this

First impressions are important, but are not always accurately assessed or conveyed by individuals. And I think men and women equally utilize this method of assessment to determine whether or not another person is of interest or not. But I think that men and women have a different list of gender-based criteria that is used to make the assessment.

Personally, I have a 23 year long disqualifying list. This list has developed over the years from experiences that I did not wish to repeat or from qualities that do not meld with my boundaries. So basically, even if a man made a good first impression my list of “disqualifying” attributes would supersede his intentions. So for me it is less about the first impression than it is about how the individual’s character, lifestyle issues and personality measure up to the “disqualifying” list of traits and behaviors that I find unacceptable.

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 9:07 AM | Link to this

Thanks again Wordsmith!!!! I appreciate your hospitality @ the tailgate!!!!

By Rell

November 19, 2007 9:10 AM | Link to this

@dan…cosign

By Kym-Proud Steeler Nation Member since 1994

November 19, 2007 9:10 AM | Link to this

Lady J you said it…go steelers!!-even though they played the Jets(ugh) cheap. But I am soooo in love with Mike Tomlin. Did you check him out on the sidelines? I was so proud.

By Beautiful

November 19, 2007 9:12 AM | Link to this

hi err’body. i’m in a blah today. needing your help to get me out of it.

n e ways … … . im guilty of snap judgements, but i immediately let it go. this only happens when i’m not attracted to his looks. the magic usually happens when he opens his mouth. being intelligent and caring does the trick.

By E

November 19, 2007 9:13 AM | Link to this

Hello all..

SMDH@this statement:He could have automatically gotten brownie points by offering to pay for my drink and this one:I know dudes have issues with buying drinks and all, but if you’ve talked for a while, displayed your interest, and already gave her your number AND all she wants is a (free) sprite/soda…… come on

This is a PERFECT example of why I do not even go to clubs anymore. Women expect this to happen. I’m suppossed to open my wallet the first night we meet? It’s expected Now? I’ll gladly open my wallet when I ask a young lady out for a date, but I’m not buying anything just because I your got your number that night and it shouldn’t be an expectation either.

By Willie Dynamite

November 19, 2007 9:14 AM | Link to this

I don’t do first impressions very well. I can take them or leave them. I’m more concerned with the first conversation. Regardless of how a chick is dressed I can usually tell based on the level of conversation if I wanna be around her or not. The first few minutes tells me if she is a winner, project to work on, bench player, jumpoff or get the hellz on.

Peach 404 Cosigning Rell Buddy coulv’e also figured the Sprite was free. He also may have deemed you good enough for the number but not to buy a Sprite. Dudes jump for a reason maybe he didn’t see the reason!!!JMO

By Wordsmith

November 19, 2007 9:17 AM | Link to this

@LadyJ

You’re quite welcome. It was good to meet you. By the way, did you get your fish? ;-)

As for the Falcons game, I made my sentiments quite clear on the Falcons message boards last night. (I’m one of the Moderators there and my screen name is ‘BankerBird’.)

http://boards.atlantafalcons.com/index.php?showtopic=281436

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 9:20 AM | Link to this

Kym I am in love with him too…That dude is soooooooooo fine!!!! He is a Kappa too!!! LOL Sexy self!!!!

By Kym-Proud Steeler Nation Member since 1994

November 19, 2007 9:21 AM | Link to this

This is not helping my hangover

From wsbtv.com ACWORTH, Ga. — Police say they’ve arrested three young boys on charges they kidnapped and raped an 11-year-old girl in the woods near an Acworth apartment complex. Police say the boys — who are 8 and 9 years old — are in a Cobb County youth detention center but face adult criminal charges.

Police reports show the girl went to authorities Saturday for the alleged attack, which she says happened Thursday.

The victim told police they had been playing outside the West Ridge Apartments before the attack.

“The three boys have been charged with crimes ranging from rape, sexual assault, kidnapping and false imprisonment,” said Capt. Wayne Bennard of the Acworth Police Department.

The suspects are being held at the Cobb County Youth Detention Center.

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 9:22 AM | Link to this

Kym he handled those player well!!! I got this and he handled it!!! I checked him out a while back!!!!

By Rell

November 19, 2007 9:22 AM | Link to this

@E…cosign!!!!

By ImAPeach404

November 19, 2007 9:23 AM | Link to this

Binford, question… if you meet 10 women, how many would you say DO NOT have kids???

Rell boo at your attempt to compare. How come you say it’s not appreciated??? If I drink it, then I appreciated it!

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 9:23 AM | Link to this

ImAPeach:

Chances are he realized that the sprite was not going to inebriate your consciousness and therefore make you more vulnerable to his possible (and tactic) intentions-lol. Personally, if a man does not offer to buy me a drink-fine, then he is less apt to ask for what he ain’t gonna get anyhoo.

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 9:28 AM | Link to this

I did Wordsmith…Left that game @ halftime to make it back across the street…Ate the fish and headed 75 South!!! LOL Thanks again and thank Linda too!!!

By Dan

November 19, 2007 9:30 AM | Link to this

@ M’Kyral

To each his(her) own, but a list of disqualifying physical attributes?

Wow, so if dude has bad teeth, a bad part in his head, a bad laugh…he’s not the one.

Like I said, to each his own but babygirl you might be missing out on your true love by letting old hurt interfere with new love. JMHO

And to the person that posted that Petrino has lost the locker room: he never had it. He came into a professional locker room with a college coach mentality, not realizing that players would resent that from Day one. He has compounded his mistake by not trying to reconcile with his players his errors. Can anyone say Tom Coughlin: good coach, but never great as his players hate him at every stop he makes.

By Rell

November 19, 2007 9:31 AM | Link to this

what is the importance of buying a women a drink in the club..is that going to get me any further if i only talk with you….is that going to get me a great girlfriend…please help me understand this…

@peach…are you serious…so he buys you a sprite…then what?….only thing you get….is the ability to quench your thirst and keep your 2.13 in your pocket…note RELL IS NOT IN THE BUSINESS OF QUENCHING THE THIRST OF HOOD RATS!!!

By Beautiful

November 19, 2007 9:34 AM | Link to this

ImAPeach404 i’m sorry girlfriend, buy your own drink. never get to a point where you sit and wait for a man to buy you a drink. how come you didn’t buy him one? just curious.

By Rell

November 19, 2007 9:37 AM | Link to this

@MKaryl….note..men dont like drunk poo cee….fell me…key word is men

By ImAPeach404

November 19, 2007 9:39 AM | Link to this

Dan, what do you mean by “guys pay for every drink in every club”???

And, whats wrong with offering to buy a drink - especially a free one - if you’ve talked to me for over 30 minutes, gave me your number already, and said “hey, i really like you. you seem real cool”.

Lol @ Beautiful… this only happens when i’m not attracted to his looks. That is SO true!

E - you guys are missing the whole point here. IT WAS FREE!!! Your wallet wouldn’t have even had to make an appearance. Clubs are the worst places in the world to meet people which is why I do not frequent them, but it happens that I was in a restaurant/club when I met this person. He was OBVIOUSLY interested and the fact that he didn’t even make an attempte to get my FREE drink made a lousy first impression. Peroid.

Willie, so, if you were good enough to get a chicks number, but not a free sprite… what kind of first impression would that leave on you???

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 9:40 AM | Link to this

Dan: It is not about “old hurt” sugar. I have no negtive emotional issues for past and forgotten relationships. You’ve got that all wrong. I have learned from my mistakes and rather than repeat them, I eliminate them from consideration. I have found that relationships are about compatability of lifestyles and personalities. I have learned what works and does not work for me.

By Rell

November 19, 2007 9:40 AM | Link to this

@beautiful

how come you didn’t buy him one?

simple it goes against the code of hot cheetos and sunny delight(Hoodrats)…thats why, she would be kicked off the island if her fellow rats every caught her hand inside the purse to give money to any male….lol…

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 9:41 AM | Link to this

I know that is right Beautiful…It is women out there who really go to the bar expecting this…It works my nerves when a chic expects a free drink…Free drinks are not want you want…seriously…handle your own and if you like the convo buy him one…

By Rell

November 19, 2007 9:43 AM | Link to this

@peach..you could have offered him that FREE drink…now i bet he would have open up that wallet then….you could have asked hey are you thirsty i am getting a sprite want one…now that is a lil game for you…i know you have forgotten that you have manners too….smdh, at the remedial

By Dan

November 19, 2007 9:43 AM | Link to this

I’m with Rell.

Would one of the ladies care to elaborate on what me buying you a drink is supposed to do?

In my experience, I get further without the drank and with the -Ism.

By Kym-Proud Steeler Nation Member since 1994

November 19, 2007 9:45 AM | Link to this

Peach404 I think you are missing the point. If you knew the drink was free..and he knew the drink was free. Why would he even attempt to buy the drink? I mean it seems like you were more concern with his wallet and what he could do for you as oppose to getting to know him. Frankly, how much can you know about a guy after talking 10-30mins in a noisy club? Just because he didnt offered doesnt make his impression lousy. Now because you are on here Monday whining about it. That makes your impression one of thirsty and what is that phase Rell uses “Jump offish.”

By T-Mango

November 19, 2007 9:46 AM | Link to this

When it comes to meeting and dating new people, do you know what people think when they meet you? Yes. I’ve been told that I was shy (ha), quiet, ladylike, and mysterious. On the flip side, I’ve been called aloof and that I had an edge to me. All true to an extent-

Do you think they “get” your personality, humor, or attributes? Some people do and others don’t. I know I’m a complex individual. “Getting” me takes time and understanding. It just won’t happen over a glass of wine at a party…

There’s a quote by Victoria Principal that I like. She’s an actress that used to play on the tv show “Dallas”(I’m dating myself with that one). But she said “at one point in her life when she walked into a room she wondered if people were going to like her. But now, as a mature woman-when she walks into a room she wonders if she is going to like them.” To me, this quote is a testament to being cool in your own skin and not trying to change who you are so that you can gain acceptance from others.

So, what’s important to me at this stage in the game is that I associate with folks that can take me as I am, where I am and are interested in getting to know me. If they can’t take “T” as is, then I keep on steppin’ because I’m going to be true to me. If I can’t be true me, then I can’t be that to anyone else.

Have a great holiday week-

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 9:47 AM | Link to this

Rell:

Get real bro. I have encountered too many who think that a drink or two will get them in the panties. Of course, I know women who support this “theory”-lol. But you are right, it is a male rationale, not a man’s ideology. But to be honest, I was quite the social barfly in the ATL. And I met many men who paid for my tabs, etc. without any further engagement than that. I am loads of fun, a great conversationalist and that is what my men friends enjoy!!! I partied with the world in the ATL and quite often never spent a dime.

By SexyLeggs

November 19, 2007 9:47 AM | Link to this

everybody knows they don’t make you pay for soft drinks at the bar!!! Since when? Oops, just realized that I always had alcohol in my drink and really never noticed this was the case…LOL

Had to laugh at M’Karyl, you’re probably right. If ImaAeach404 knew soft drinks were free, he probably knew as well!

By QC

November 19, 2007 9:50 AM | Link to this

Morning Bloggers….i hope you all had a great weekend!…..and do enjoy your day….

By Wordsmith

November 19, 2007 9:50 AM | Link to this

@M’Karyl “even if a man made a good first impression my list of “disqualifying” attributes would supersede his intentions.”

WOW! :-O

Please don’t take this as a personal attack, okay? I’m responding to the post, not the person. However, I’m continually amazed at the number of women who subscribe to very same mindset to which you seem to ascribe - where physical attributes take precendence over internal character.

I mean, at what point do those priorities get reversed (if ever?) What good does it do for a man to take his own character development seriously, if the woman he’s interested in doesn’t apply the same weight? In other words, what in the world would it profit a relationship for a man to pass your test of “disqualifying” physical attributes if in his heart he’s not inclined to treat you right? Is that not ultimately what matters most to you?

Or, would you be willing to risk what could be the most satisfying and substantive relationship you’ve ever had on the fact that the guy wasn’t tall, cute or sexy enough?

I’m sorry, but I’m still shaking my head at your 9:05 comment.

By Dan

November 19, 2007 9:50 AM | Link to this

@Peach

I have, and any other gentleman can join the chorus, never gotten a drink for free in any club. Unless I look like I’m dying of thirst, they charge me for water.

The point is, why should he offer to buy you anything at a club, most likely you (and your girls, cause y’all travel in packs) got in free. He on the other hand, had to pay $20 on top of whatever he drinks in the club. Now while buying that drink may or may not have left and impression on you, I guarantee that extra $5 or so, might’ve P.O.’d the man especially considering you’ve gone your seperate ways after that.

By E

November 19, 2007 9:51 AM | Link to this

@Peach

No YOU’RE missing the point, the FACT that you EXPECT for this man buy you a drink(or anything for that matter) the first night is the problem. PERIOD. Why would you be impressed by him offering to buy you a FREE drink anyway..That’s impressive? LOL. Also the fact the unwillingness not to offer to buy you a FREE drink is the clincher that made you not want to call him, even though you were feelin this guy up to that point. Hilarious indeed.

By Beautiful

November 19, 2007 9:51 AM | Link to this

ImAPeach404 my co-worker agrees with u. i’m 50/50 now, because if he spends 30 mins or more of your time at a club, then … … … maybe he should at least offer.

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 9:53 AM | Link to this

It’s funny, I never have and never will go out with the expectation that a man needs to buy my drinks. I have been going out by myself to bars, clubs, etc. since I was 17 years old. I go out to enjoy myself and have a good time. And it shows. And as a result of my “good-spirited” nature, many people-men and women have picked up my tab, paid for some drinks. But, I do the same for others too-it is a part of the social bar culture. But never expect it from a man simply because he is a man. And only allow him to do so if he is a gentleman.

By Jazzyone

November 19, 2007 9:55 AM | Link to this

Morning ya!

I roll into a club with my own bank and usually purchase my drink from the gate..trust it..and have been known to send some out….as a gesture…

I don’t know about anyone else up in here but I don’t frequent bars to fall in love but to be social, network and enjoy conversations, laugh talk smile and yes meet and entertain conversations and the like.

In that time im out I don’t find it unusal for a Man to send over a drink and I have done so myself to break the ice and its a gesture..not to get married, not to have his baby but a gesture a compliment a way to say hi..i think its all about the company one keeps and the type of places one frequents that will garner the responses that have been shown thus far. Lay down with a puppy you catch fleas..rub up against a rose bush your a*s will get thorns..feel me??? Im not up in any spot where a man is trippin about buying a drink or calling me a chicken head while hes sending me one nor do I play with little boys with that mentality so um….holla ya..

By SexyLeggs

November 19, 2007 9:56 AM | Link to this

Rell, I may be wrong on this, but I think (not talking about myself, truly, I’m not) a lot of women think that if a man approaches them in a bar and want to converse but not buy them a drink he is a “cheapo.” By not buying that first drink, women tend to size up a man quickly in terms of his willingness to freely treat a stranger what they term “a mere drink.” Men look at it as “why should I buy you a drink when I don’t even know you. This is the first thing you ask me after I say hello?” Hell to da Naw!! JMO…

By Rell

November 19, 2007 9:58 AM | Link to this

I am loads of fun, a great conversationalist and that is what my men friends enjoy!!! I partied with the world in the ATL and quite often never spent a dime.

^^^thats why your tab was paid…you were not waiting around to see if they would

By ImAPeach404

November 19, 2007 10:01 AM | Link to this

M’Karyl see, i think you’re on to something!!! I neve thought about it like that :) He still had the nerve to ask about my after-plans.

Wow, so if dude has bad teeth, a bad part in his head, a bad laugh…he’s not the one.

Dan, he is DEFINITELY not the one if he has bad teeth!!!

Rell, if he orders the sprite - because we’ve already established that he’s not buying anything - then it makes a good first impression.

Beautiful I do/did buy my own drinks. I don’t drink alcohol, so I get my little sprite and keep it moving. When I go out, I do come prepared to get my own stuff, but the point here is about first impressions. Like I said before, he was obviously interested in the spirit of the topic today - it would have made a pleasant first impression. Thats all. I didn’t offer to buy him a drink b/c I wasn’t interested in him. I’ve done it before, it’s not a big deal. It’s just a drink :)

By SexyLeggs

November 19, 2007 10:02 AM | Link to this

I’m playing the devil’s advocate here…*E - you guys are missing the whole point here. IT WAS FREE!!! Your wallet wouldn’t have even had to make an appearance.” Then why should he have offered to buy you a drink. He knew it was free just like you did. To me, this was merely a test to see if he thought enough about instantly to offer to buy you a drink. I don’t get it. It was free so why even waste mental space on the fact that he didn’t offer.

My mother taught me early on when I started going out. Pay for your own, don’t expect squat from a man. Everybody’s playing a game in the club. Meet up with them on another day to get to know the stranger in the club.

By Dan

November 19, 2007 10:03 AM | Link to this

I see now why they call you Wordsmith that comment was dead on and I could have said it any better myself.

Let’s see how she responds…..

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 10:03 AM | Link to this

Words:

The disqualifying list is not about physical traits. They are primarily based on emotional, psychological, spiritual and intellectual traits. My only physical requirement is that he be a beautiful chocolate brother-like a dark, fine Godiva treat!

By kinderbabe

November 19, 2007 10:03 AM | Link to this

good morning, all. i’m amazed at the soft drink theory. never heard of that. everything to drink, even water costs at the bar…lol.

By DreamsMaterialize

November 19, 2007 10:05 AM | Link to this

You shouldn’t use a first impression to determine a person’s character, but rather to decide if you actually want to know more about that person. One of the main disadvantages of first impressions is that they are environment-dependent. First impressions are affected by the context in which you meet that person. Take the same person, change the environment in which you meet them, you probably get a different first impression.

For the sprite girl: If I’m going to a place that we all know is a pick-up joint (club, bar, whatever), then my aim is get as many numbers as I can. No way in hell I’m buying drinks for every number I put in my pocket. So, is a drink the price I have to pay for your time? My time is just as important as yours, so buy my drink.

By Staceye

November 19, 2007 10:07 AM | Link to this

Binford I feel you on dealbreakers. I take it you don’t have kids. People get mad at you because you do not wish to date a woman with kids. I am kidless and I prefer to date a man without kids as well. Now I must admit it lowers the amount of eligible men.

ImAPeach404 Guy #1…I definitely would not call. You would be setting yourself up for a lot of arguments! Been there..done that…bought the t-shirt! I don’t like the fit!

Kym as NY’er….I have to say HA! My Jets kicked your butts! LOL My Giants beat Detroit! LOL

But I feel you…after a guy talks to me for a while, they always say, “you are not at all what I thought you’d be”. I have to ask..they always say they thought I’d be stuck up. Then I have to let them know I am an undercover goofball/dork! LOL

As far as the drink buying thing. I do not expect it…it always happens though. If a guy approaches me and we speak for a while and he offers to buy me a drink….it does give him more of a footing with me. Now if he doesn’t…that doesn’t mean he loses any value. After all…he just met me. I had a guy walk up after I order my drink and as I lookin my purse to get my money…he told the bartender to put it on his tab. He said God blessed him…so put my money away. He asked my name and I asked his and he said, “nice to meet you….enjoy your night”, and he went about his business. It’s like if you meet a guy in the club and he ask you and your friends to go breakfast after the club…I think it’s nice that he pays for you if he invites you. But do I expect it…NO! But again…it’s more of a leg up due to the fact that he invited you. But I always prepare to go dutch!

By Beautiful

November 19, 2007 10:07 AM | Link to this

you know what, i’m going back to what i first said. i tend to agree with Mo sometimes. i have paid for dinners and have reached for many tabs. that’s just me.

what’s wrong with those falcons, omg? my 49ers aren’t really lookin’ that bad. lol.

By Bre

November 19, 2007 10:09 AM | Link to this

Good Morning to all, I hope that you are well.

On Topic I suck at first impressions, I’m the worst. I come off the total opposite. Many think I’m very stuck up and mean, its just I have a pretty high wall up it takes me a minute to relax. I joke alot with my friends they don’t me serious at all, but with new people around they think everything coming out of my mouth is true or I’m bat crazy. There is a little too much of Tash Smith’s character from WDIGM, in me I guess.

Go Packers I am so loving me some Brett right about now. Thank goodness there are no Patriots fans around here, they are getting on my last nerve.

By binford

November 19, 2007 10:11 AM | Link to this

Since we’ve veered off-topic in to the Theory of Bar Etiquette I’ll simply say this.

The game of life is simply geared to woman’s and women are conditioned to expect special treatment (as it’s rooted in archaic tradition). It is an exception and not a rule that a woman buy a drink, send flowers, etc to a man. A woman wouldn’t open a door for me nor get down on a knee to propose to me or, hell, even approach me.

As we’re approaching the “holiday season” see how many ads target men’s jewelry(none). If you watch, most ads are about what to get her and portray men as sports-watching-doofuses.

I’m for changing this! Who is with me?

By Dan

November 19, 2007 10:11 AM | Link to this

Uh-oh Jazzy is on one.

Like you Jazz, I send drinks to “get a conversation going or to say hi..”

However, it’s the expectation that a woman’s conversation or mere presence warrants a drink (believe me the attitude is out there). If we on the floor grooving, and I see you with the perspiration, of course, I’m to the bar and back with water.

But if after the gyrating you expect me to “reward” you with a drink….I’d rather just give the $5 dollars for the table dance, like at any strip club.

Note: to Jazzy, and any other female, the word you was used as a gerand pronoun replacement and not intended to offend anyone.

By SexyLeggs

November 19, 2007 10:12 AM | Link to this

Thanks kinderbabe, thought I was the only one!

By kinderbabe

November 19, 2007 10:13 AM | Link to this

wordsmith i didn’t read anywhere about a list of disqualifying “physical” attributes. i think there’s a little hypersensitivity going on here. this is what m’karyl said: So for me it is less about the first impression than it is about how the individual’s character, lifestyle issues and personality measure up to the “disqualifying” list of traits and behaviors that I find unacceptable. you may have overinterpreted this statement. what i got from it was that m’karyl has some qualities that she looks for overall. if the first impression of a man shows something that wouldn’t be in accordance w/her standards, then she would go w/her feelings first. i don’t see an issue w/that.

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 10:14 AM | Link to this

BlogMen what does you’re cool mean after you ask thoughts after a date…

By Kym-Proud Steeler Nation Member since 1994

November 19, 2007 10:14 AM | Link to this

Nawww I am with Dan on this one…T-Pain and all this bling mentality have women(especially younger women-say those born after 1980) jacked up. They think if a guy talks with you for 30mins he owes you a drink. How about like Jazzy suggested you buy your own from jump..and go to the club to enjoy yourself. But to base a guy’s worth on if he buys your drink is Foolishness Bring your own cash, buy your own drink, enjoy the atmosphere..done.

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 10:16 AM | Link to this

Rell Hardly my friend. I am well liked my many people and they enjoy my company. I make people feel good. I can carry on conversations on a variety of subjects and I can spend several hours in a social bar and meet interesting people. I am a tru social diva.

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 10:16 AM | Link to this

Hey KB!!! A few more hours…LOL

By GetOverIt

November 19, 2007 10:17 AM | Link to this

Hey ImAPeach404 maybe he knew they were free and didn’t want to seem like a jerk offering to buy something that didn’t cost anything.

However, I do agree with ImAPeach about the whole offering to buy a drink. It doesn’t mean I wouldn’t call a guy later or take his phone calls but it is kind of nice to see a guy be traditional in that way. It also indicates the guy probably has enough money to take me out. I am old fashioned in that way. I do expect a guy to pay, although I prepare for the opposite. Although, I turn down drinks when I think the guy is just trying to get me drunk or I know I am not interested.

Also, I have bought drinks for guys before just sort of depends on the situation. If he hesitates to offer to buy a 6 or 7 dollar drink my first thoughts are either a) he is cheap/broke or b) he has tried this too many times before and it hasn’t worked or c) he just really isn’t that into me (even if he has gotten a number). I mean honestly, a girl like Carmen Diaz or Halle Berry walked into that bar, I seriously doubt she wouldn’t have a dozen drinks offered before 30 minutes had passed. What does that mean?

By SexyLeggs

November 19, 2007 10:19 AM | Link to this

Tazzee, where are you? I know there’s no shame in your game up here in blogsville…LOL..While flipping the channel and saw the final score, I immediately thought of you. Issa sorry!

By DasV (yea, its me)

November 19, 2007 10:19 AM | Link to this

sexyLeggs i never knew that either… LOL. anytime any of my crew was ordering just a coke, the flask was whisked out!

on the new topic after only 30 minutes, you havent earned the right to get my number so i wouldve declined giving it to him, but i wouldve offered buy him a drink. dont go into anything expecting something, thats selfish!

and really how much could i know you in thirty minutes…. its loud, ppl are constantly passing and interrupting us, if we dance there is less chance we have conversed on a level warranting the exchange of numbers… plus everyone knows that once numbers are exchange you or i, or both are moving on to seek other prospects….

naaa, i wanna see how you handle me buying you a drink and if you reciprocate. some do, some dont. i had one guy who i bought a drink for, come back later in the night to buy one for me, even though i was standing with another guy…. so i up one on him and bought him and the chick he had been chatting up for a while a drink (she was standing with a henniken). he was so impressed with that, and she was such a mess with handling it, he was back over to me and we went to breakfast. i rarely if ever paid for anything after that, the whole time we hung out…..

i think guys need to know that they arent taking on a liability… they need to know that we women are secure with spending our own money and handling our own situation before they comfortably invite us to share in their situation… correct me if i am wrong blog bruthas

i am more impressed with who you are, than what you do… and in club, there IS a difference. its only over time that i get to know you. the intrigue is the spit-game that you have… just know that i got my own too. after that, if you’re intrigued and want to know more and i am too, then lets exchange numbers and hang out outside of the club……on the real topic….. thats when the ‘first impression’ begins for me.

By Dan

November 19, 2007 10:19 AM | Link to this

@ Lady J

That’s a question that you:

No offense but asking someone opinion of you after any number of dates sounds a little needy.

By DasV (yea, its me)

November 19, 2007 10:20 AM | Link to this

WORDS you’ve got mail.

By Beautiful

November 19, 2007 10:22 AM | Link to this

binford u haven’t met me or others like me yet! i have bought one ring, many flowers, balloons, dinners, drinks, etc. it’s fun and the look on their faces … … . priceless.

By Jazzyone

November 19, 2007 10:22 AM | Link to this

Dan LOL at your note..I hear ya dude…I guess my view is I don’t expect it and think that train of thought is ludicrous..so Im sure there are women out there that this topic applies to…

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 10:23 AM | Link to this

KinderBabe:

Thanks for feeling me on that one. That is exactly what I meant. In fact, I am the one who is always judged by my physical appearance when it comes to men. It is assumed that because I am physically atttractive that I am not an intellectual. I stopped dating when I lived in the ATL. I have great social and platonic freindships with a lot of men, but I gave up the dating scene because I did not dig the demeaning games.

By Blue_Kolla

November 19, 2007 10:24 AM | Link to this

What up blog…

Peach/Thirsty Broads I know dudes have issues with buying drinks and all, but if you’ve talked for a while, displayed your interest, and already gave her your number AND all she wants is a (free) sprite/soda…… come on!

Sorry slick, but you mean nothing to me when I meet you at the club or wherever else. I’m going to be nice and cordial, but I feel no need or want to IMPRESS you by buying you anything. And if me going into my pocket is what it takes to “impress” you, then I’m gon’ tell you to git da fugg!

Oh yoll kill me… How about while we’re standing there waiting, you offer me a shoulder rub… you know, just to be impressive. YRB

By The Truth

November 19, 2007 10:24 AM | Link to this

Morning blogsville.

Go Facons. Go Go Go. LOL

On topic: Sexy what you don’t understand is that drink wouldn’t have been free for the guy. Had he facilitated that drink he would be sending a message that he was quite willing to foot the bill for some chick he spoke with for 30 minutes. If she enjoyed his convo so much she was free to buy him a drink. Someone in here said, I think it was Rell, that if a chick won’t break bread with you she’s not down for you. Thats as true as it gets. Ol boy did the right thing. If me buying you things wasn’t the nature of our relationship before lets keep it that way. Also, being a “cheapo” is not the worst thing in the world.

Im you said you weren’t interested in him so would that have changed had he got you the drink?

On 1st impressions, I do what I do and if thats cool with her its all good. I’m not changing if its not.

Du I know you’ll pop in here later. Are you familar with Sal and Willie from down your way?

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 10:26 AM | Link to this

ok Dan although i don’t get your drift but won’t ask again…J

By BLAT

November 19, 2007 10:27 AM | Link to this

Peachy baby…. now you should know better. How long u been bloggin? You’re not gonna get any love one this blog from the MLB if you talkin ‘bout EXPECTING any man to buy you a drank. We have a very low opinion of “Drink Fairies” on the blog.

And what does it say about YOU that you would knock a man out da box whom you otherwise vibed with over a SPRITE???

By SexyLeggs

November 19, 2007 10:27 AM | Link to this

If he hesitates to offer to buy a 6 or 7 dollar drink my first thoughts are either a) he is cheap/broke or.. GetOver just confirmed my earlier post in terms of what some women think.

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 10:27 AM | Link to this

Ok Dan I read it again and I get it your drift and I am not needy but I get what you are saying…J

By ImAPeach404

November 19, 2007 10:28 AM | Link to this

…physical attributes take precendence over internal character Wordsmith, Now I cannot speak for M’Karyl, but in the spirit of the topic here - first impressions - if your first impression is that you’re not physically attracted to a person, then it’s highly likely that you miss the opportunity to learn their internal character. If the topic were more along the lines of us discussing being attracted to someone mentally and not physically yet you still won’t date them… then I would say that someone should reverse their priorities and the risk would be greater.

E, its not the dollar amount, or the lack of in this case, it’s the thought and the offer that are impressive. So, I’m not missing anything here. And, who said I was feeling him? Where did you read that?

Beautiful, at that point it had been about 30 minutes… he was in my face the entire night. To me, it was about the offer…

By Cemeeli

November 19, 2007 10:31 AM | Link to this

Hello Everyone Sorry to be so late…but prayer/supplication for the youth…

…tryin to channel what the boys thought about when the attack occured. The girl was probably pretrified.

…just in a daze today about that…needed somewhere to expel my sentiments. .Thx family.

By Dan

November 19, 2007 10:32 AM | Link to this

Shout out to Das V.

That little story was hot! I consider myself a smooth brother, but if a woman sent me and the babe I’m currently talking to a drink…I might act up! Make a B-line straight for her as that may well be the most pimp move I’ve ever seen.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again here, I had a homegirl and we’d go out and guys would buy her drinks all night, just to chop it up with her. Whether we were sitting together or walking around seperately, I could be assured that I’d get a tap on my shoulder with my drink of that night. Every single dude that bought her drink, bought me one.

Other than that Das you got the pimp move….Mind if I borrow it sometime?

By SexyLeggs

November 19, 2007 10:38 AM | Link to this

he was in my face the entire night. To me, it was about the offer… and Peach404 you stayed for those 30 mins not really interested in the dude, but merely waiting for the offer. I don’t get it!

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 10:38 AM | Link to this

On a re-read of some of these post, I find interestng the men took my “disqualifying list” to be based on the physical attributes. Ha! Ha!. I guess they assumed that I assess them the same way the assess me-strictly on my physical appearance. No wonder I choose to be single!

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 10:39 AM | Link to this

On a re-read of some of these post, I find interestng the men took my “disqualifying list” to be based on the physical attributes. Ha! Ha!. I guess they assumed that I assess them the same way the assess me-strictly on my physical appearance. No wonder I choose to be single!

By Page1908

November 19, 2007 10:40 AM | Link to this

OMG are we talking about dudes buying drinks for girls in the club (again)? Lawd…ummm…ok ladies, what happened to you wanting to be “independent”? Buy your own drink. I’m trying to figure out if the issue is that dude should at least offer or what? I’m telling you, I totally see where some dudes are coming from on the whole debate regarding independent women.

By Dan

November 19, 2007 10:40 AM | Link to this

@ Lady J

Darling, I wasn’t accusing or assigning any characteristic to you. Not at all. If you got that impression, I apologize.

Think of it like a guy rolling over asking that question….

It might not hit you at first, but you’ll think about it and see his insecurities immediately.

By E

November 19, 2007 10:41 AM | Link to this

@Peach404

I know you didnt say you were feelin him, but it certainly could be inferred by the way your post was written. If you don’t feel you’re missing anything, then cool. All I can say is based on some of the other posts directed to you, you clearly are.

By Staceye

November 19, 2007 10:43 AM | Link to this

Wordsmith if there is no physica attraction..there will be nothing. It is what’s first. You are not going to talk to the ugliest person just because you think they will treat you well. You must have chemistry. Now if that person comes to be in the friend zone…then the possibility of something poppin’ off is a go. But that is after the personality gets the time to shine. But at first glance…you are not checking for that ugly person. That’s just human nature.

Bre I too have a little of Tasha Smith’s character in me. I say what I feel….not a tongue biter!

By kinderbabe

November 19, 2007 10:43 AM | Link to this

m’karyl/sexyleggs i understood what you meant. people get a little stiff in the back when folks start talking about having standards. i guess someone caught a flashback of when someone’s standards disqualified them from the game…oh well…lol. but seriously, first impressions are such a catch 22 b/c you never know what “side” of the person you’re meeting that day. i have had situations where i met a guy on his “worse case scenario” day and thought he was an absolute jerk…under different circumstances, he could have been a total sweetheart. i have days like that too so i can relate…lol.

it’s funny b/c i’ve met and know couples who are very happily married that had not so good first impressions of each other. one of my girls absolutely couldn’t stand her husband when she first met him…lol. the last thing on her mind was going on a date w/him, let alone getting married. i guess in the end it just comes down too the right opportunity to see the person for who they really are.

By Beautiful

November 19, 2007 10:44 AM | Link to this

you stayed for those 30 mins not really interested in the dude, but merely waiting for the offer. I don’t get it!

i knew that was comin’, lol.

By GetOverIt

November 19, 2007 10:45 AM | Link to this

So, SexyLeggs First, love your name. Takes a really man to use it. Second, I talk with guys that don’t buy me a drink. However, I would notice if I walked up to the bar after talking to you for 30 minutes and have you order a drink right next to me and not offer to buy a drink. My judgement would depend on the situation, I guess.

Of course, I wouldn’t walk up to a bar following you b/c I wouldn’t want you to feel obligated to buy me a drink. So, I guess it just really, really depends on the situation.

I don’t actually like meeting men in bars though. So the point is kind of moot.

As for first impression, the best advice I have ever heard is be friends with a person before you date them. Guards are down and you get to meet the real person, not the guarded one. It would be great if everyone had a mandatory “waiting” (being friends only) period before they could date.

By Dan

November 19, 2007 10:46 AM | Link to this

@ M Karyl

Specificity and semantics define conversation. I had no idea what the “disqualifying list” consisted of.

But you are right, it was my bias that assigned value to your statement.

So that means you date and ugly dude that passed the “test”?

By Page1908

November 19, 2007 10:48 AM | Link to this

LOL @ waiting 30 minutes for a dude to offer to buy a Sprite at the club! Seriously?! ctfu

By Blue_Kolla

November 19, 2007 10:48 AM | Link to this

Wordsmith What good does it do for a man to take his own character development seriously, if the woman he’s interested in doesn’t apply the same weight?

Because as a Man, if you don’t work on your inside game, you’ll constantly end up taking out the trash. That’s MAN tip #16.

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 10:52 AM | Link to this

Got you Dan and that is what I am saying in my head…other issues going on and I just didn’t understood at first and I read it again and know you weren’t blasting me!!! Thanks again for your thoughts! J

By Dave

November 19, 2007 10:52 AM | Link to this

All I look at is the overall impression they give off. Not the looks, clothes, mask they wear, but the real thing.

I can tell if someone has a bad feeling or not in less than a second. This goes for everyone I meet. I am pretty accurate at it as well.

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 10:54 AM | Link to this

Well KinderBabe:

I have learned that it is not so much about standards as it is about compatability boundaries. Some lifestyles and personalities just do not mix. I am not changing who I have chosen to be in order to mate with someone, nor do I expect anyone to change to be with me. Some things just will not work in a relationship and I prefer to avoid those things I have learned ain’t making my baby kick.

By Dan

November 19, 2007 10:54 AM | Link to this

I’m with Kinder.

Like I said you might catch the “D” on a bad day like I might catch you on yours.

The common denominator though is attractiveness. I might be a AH at frist meeting, but if you/I are cute enough, that second meeting will go a lot more smoothly. Trust, that happens all the time. (I do it purposely sometimes)

By Tazzee

November 19, 2007 10:55 AM | Link to this

Morning folks!

Haven’t read all the comments but I had to stop and say that I will nevah hide my face regarding them Falcons. Yes, it was a horrible showing but I had the best time socializing! I usually stay at my seat the entire game - I was walking around, flirting and just having a ball - so the day was not all lost.

Dr. Kym I’m usually on your side, how you gone stick the knife in deeper and turn it?

Lady J umm, I thought you were banned from the dome this month. What were you doing out?

2can I still love you, but no love for you today, LOL.

On topic I keep a mental list of things that impress me or turn me off about a guy as I’m getting to know him, but I never reject someone based on first impressions alone.

Now let me go back and read what you guys are fighting about because I know someone is fighting, LOL.

By aaa

November 19, 2007 10:56 AM | Link to this

I LOVE THIS BLOG!!! @DR. KYM IS FAT FROM THE PREVIOUS POST, SO NOONE THINKS YOUR PRISSY YOUR STUFFED. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH A MAN BUYING A WOMAN A DRINK,RATHER CLUB SODA OR COKE IF YOU HAVE CONVERSATION, PLEASE BUY ME A DRINK@PEACH YOU ARE RIGHT. HE SHOULDVE. ITS BEENING COURTEOUS AND YOU ARE USING MY TIME FOR ME TO SPEND WITH SOMEONE WHO WILL BUY ME A DRINK. HE WAS CHEAP I TAKE IT. JUST LIKE ALL THESE MEN ON THIS BOARD THAT THINK A MAN SHOULDNT BUY YOU A DRINK, THE WOMEN WHO THINK YOU WERE WRONG ARE CHEAP HOES. THATS QUITE APPARENT. THEY LIKE MCDONALDS FOR BREAKFAST, LUNCH AND DINNER. THEY PUT OUT FAST AND WONDER WHY THEY DONT HAVE A MAN!!!

By binford

November 19, 2007 10:56 AM | Link to this

Beautiful I’d be all about meeting a girl that would do those things. Us guys like feel special and wanted and fawned over too!

(fawn is a very un-manly word, btw)

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 10:57 AM | Link to this

HEY Cemeeli!!!:)

By ImAPeach404

November 19, 2007 10:58 AM | Link to this

Dang - I cannot even reply to everyone. It wasn’t my intent for the topic to get like this,so to get back to the original topic…

By DasV (yea, its me)

November 19, 2007 10:59 AM | Link to this

DaN honestly i think that now-a-days too many women would be suspect of that kindof move… i know i would. lookin back it was a good thing that the drink wasnt laced, or that the man i was talkn to and the one buyin werent in on some sick game… the world just aint what it used to be.

but for what it was, when it was, it was all good.

By DreamsMaterialize

November 19, 2007 10:59 AM | Link to this

M’Karyl

I once dated a woman who “hated” everything. We couldn’t go to new restaurants or try new food because she basically “hated” every food that she didn’t grow up eating. She “hated” orange juice, she “hated” left-overs, she hated the way some people dressed… She had this loooooooooooong untouchable/unalterable list of things that she didn’t like about people, situations, places, etc. When I cut my hair, she must have had a fit because that was one of the things on the list. Needless to say that situation was short-lived. She was well within her rights to have any opinions she wanted, but it was the negativity that she associated with things she didn’t like that made it very unpleasant to be around her. So, I think brothers tend to shudder when they hear that a woman has a “list” because maybe they’re thinking that “list” comes hand-in-hand with that same negativity. Not saying you’re guilty of that, just offering my lil bit of insight.

By Wise Diva

November 19, 2007 11:00 AM | Link to this

Wow, talk about snap judgments, interesting. LOL, however, we should just steer clear of that whole who buys who drinks topic, it really has been beaten to death. I don’t think it is worth an entire day’s discussion, either.

By GetOverIt

November 19, 2007 11:01 AM | Link to this

Speaking of man tips. Did the guy ever go on the radio who was suppose to answer questions about men? I heard it advertised a couple of months ago. I think it was on 99X.

By SexyLeggs

November 19, 2007 11:01 AM | Link to this

GetOver, you read me wrong. I’m on your side thinking what some women usually think.

By Wordsmith

November 19, 2007 11:03 AM | Link to this

@Staceye In your 10:43, I think you might be misinterpreting my earlier comment. In no way did I infer or intimate that physical attraction has no place. Not saying or implying that at all, because it obviously is a factor.

The point I was trying to make (in responding to M’kayla) is that physical attraction should not be the overarching priority because, when the rubber meets the road, no amount of Adonis or Aphrodite-type physical attributes are going to be what ultimately holds a relationship together, especially when things get rough.

I defy any woman to admit that she’d be willing to say to her man, “It’s okay, baby. I forgive you for sleeping with that other woman. Wit’ ‘cho fine self!” Because, in such a situation, the HEART of the man is in question and what will his physical attributes matter then? You’ll just have a cute cheater on your hands at that point.

Personally, I’d rather have a woman with bad teeth who I can trust, than one who is fine as h3ll whom I dare not turn my back on.

By kinderbabe

November 19, 2007 11:05 AM | Link to this

m’karyl i totally understand what you’re saying. it isn’t healthy to compromise your core values and “non-negotiables.” we all have them. it’s good to know though that there are ways that people can compliment each other w/o being exactly alike.

dan now that’s funny…lol. an AH on the first meeting??? lmao that’s quite a gamble you’re taking there buddy….

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 11:08 AM | Link to this

Tazzee…Funny story chile!!! But I made it though the day!!! LOL You know I love the Falcons after yesterday…LOL

By Dan

November 19, 2007 11:09 AM | Link to this

@ Get

Uh…

Here’s my thoughts on the friend zone, friendships (between males and females) and whatever other title you ascribe to “the guy that will never get it”.

My problem with male/female friendship is that men are only friends with women that we don’t want to sleep with. She might be cool, she might be fine, she just doesn’t do it.

However, women will keep a guy friend around, go out with the dude, have intimate conversations with him, parade him around at family/social gatherings and know that he will never, ever,ever,ever,ever even smell it.

Therein lies my problem. The latter male friend is biding his time until “she realizes what she has”, bull$**.

Our time frames for physical intimacy are different: Women get mad at men (and become bitter) because what we want first and most often is the physical connection. Men get mad with women (and treat a few real dirty) becuase a woman wants a friend before a physical connection.

Well, dig it. Right here, right now I’m putting and end to it.

If you want a male friend:

Find a gay dude and hang with him, because he can give you the emotional support and plutonic companionship that you may want.

If you want to find your man:

Be prepared to understand that he is after the draws. Not just yours but all, and while he may like you personally, if he has to wait too long…..

He’ll find someone else to fulfill his needs and you’re back kicking with the gay dude.

That’s my rant for the week. And I’m sorry about the extra long post. But it needed to be said.

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this

aaa…Read Diva’s comment please!!!!

By kinderbabe

November 19, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this

ladyj glad to see you’re up and about.:) 2 more days for us…yippee! i wish all schools would have been closed this week.

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this

Dan:

Looks are irrelevant to me. I am more interested in a good sense of humor(I love someone who can make me laugh, especially at myself and my peculiar ways), rational intelligence ( I must have that compatibility factor), emotional stability (I can not do dysfunctional, codependent, toxic people) and an adventurous spirit (I live to have fun).

I was an obese child growing up, and I learned from personal experience that physical appearance is used way too often as a determinate in how people treat others. I have spent many years working on being the best me I can be as a person. Funny thing is that once I lost the weight and men found me attractive; I begin to experience another type of physical assessment that ignored me as a person still. Looks are irrelevant-the heart, soul and essence of the being matter.

By Wise Diva

November 19, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this

aaa, geez! are you off your meds today?! LOL! You were so normal the last time I read you, what happened? LOL

please don’t use all caps, it’s considered “shouting”, which I am sure you aren’t doing - at least I hope not?

By Beautiful

November 19, 2007 11:15 AM | Link to this

aaa lol.

By Blue_Kolla

November 19, 2007 11:16 AM | Link to this

Wordsmith Personally, I’d rather have a woman with bad teeth who I can trust, than one who is fine as h3ll whom I dare not turn my back on.

Peeps don’t get that lesson until they’re at least 30, if then. I was listening to this older cat tell that same line to a youngin’ that was probably around 22. Lil youngin’ was oblivious to the jewels that he was being handed.

By Bre

November 19, 2007 11:16 AM | Link to this

Page1908 I’m with you on that one. If I want it I buy it, I’m not waiting on no man for it. Gesshhhhhh louiseeeee.

Stacy It has gotten in me trouble more times than ever. As I’m getting older and realize my nieces look up to me, I try not to be so out outspoken with family. But for the rest of the world, its pretty much what it is. That whole think before you speak, is not my strong point. I can say its saved me from alot of misunderstandings and waisted time. Getting straight to the heart of the facts is good for the soul.

By Kym-Proud Steeler Nation Member since 1994

November 19, 2007 11:16 AM | Link to this

Taz Had to get you before you got me..heck I am getting laughs from thousands of miles away… but that’s alright we have a couple of easy wins coming up..and if they lose to miami. There is going to be some smoke in the city. All this lazy behind play.

aaa Normally I try to avoid ignorance -since I gave it up-but since I am already feeling froggy today I will jump. Cow..you dont know me or anyone else on this blog for that matter..so what is your point in throwing insults around. If you think some dude owes you a drink because he talked to you tired azz..then you need to take your place in the jump off line and wait for your number to be call. That or where a sign on your forehead that says place dyck here. I posted a warning eariler.-the trick bag is full today.

By Wordsmith

November 19, 2007 11:19 AM | Link to this

@M’Karyl “Looks are irrelevant-the heart, soul and essence of the being matter.”

BRAVO!!!! :-D

By DuShawn

November 19, 2007 11:22 AM | Link to this

Du I know you’ll pop in here later. Are you familar with Sal and Willie from down your way? Truth What are you talking about?

On the topic of buying drinks and first impressions: This was a wild weekend. On Saturday the QUES were celebrating at Dugans on Flat Shoals. Later on that night my wife and a few of her friends came through. I found them in the crowd, went up to them said hello, made sure they were straight and continued to vibe with the bruhs. While I was outside a close friend of mine was at the bar. He noticed my wife and her crew near by. He bought himself and my lady a drink. Before he could get his drink off the bar one of wifey’s friends grabs it and starts to drink his shyt. He didn’t even know this girl. He finds me and tells me what just happened. He said “ Dog, I don’t like your lady’s friend. She tried me.” I thanked him for looking out for wifey and invited him to my personal fifth of Remy in the car.

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 11:24 AM | Link to this

KB I am really not…Will call you to make you laugh over the break!!! LOL

By GetOverIt

November 19, 2007 11:24 AM | Link to this

SexyLeggs Sorry, I misunderstood you. I try note to judge too harshly on the first impression but I really don’t want a broke piece of poo who doesn’t work. My pastor’s wife used to say, if he doesn’t take care of you now, will he in the future? Don’t get me wrong, I am getting a PhD so I will be able to afford taking care of myself. Actually, I do pretty well already. But, there are a lot of ways a couple can take care of each other.

The first impression is mostly about looks, money, and self-assurdedness. A smug jerk with all the money in the world wouldn’t attract me. However, I don’t really think I would care too much for a guy I attracted in a tight skirt with my boobs hanging out. I always think in the long-term and some of the qualities I don’t want around in the future are smug, cheap, insecure, weak personality, dependency. Alot of these things can be seen pretty quickly. Money is just one way to ferret these things out.

By ImAPeach404

November 19, 2007 11:25 AM | Link to this

I think kinder brings up a great point about people who gave/received horrible first impressions but they somehow work out. I’ve known a few instances of that myself. That just lets us know if things are supposed to work out, they will.

As for first impression, the best advice I have ever heard is be friends with a person before you date them. Getoverit in theory this is great advice, but I have a very hard time getting out of “friendzone” once i’ve established a meaningful friendship with a guy.

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 11:27 AM | Link to this

Get it Kym!!!!

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 11:28 AM | Link to this

Dream: It sounds like that sister subscribed to issues that one does not read-lol. Vocal externalized hate and anger are just self-hate and anger flipped outside at others.

Kinder: True. Compromise can lead to resentment and control issues-again, a subscription that can not be read.

Words: OXOXOXOOXOX! Smooches!!

Dan: I have spent the last 40 years of my life having the best platonic friendships with straight men. I would not trade by stickmen for anything. In fact, the friendships have lasted longer than any of my few, short relationships. If you hear any noise-it’s just me and my boyz!!!

By SlimOne

November 19, 2007 11:29 AM | Link to this

Well hello errybody

Just blogging from the crib on my day off. Who said they wanted to buy me a drank?

By Foots

November 19, 2007 11:31 AM | Link to this

M’Karyl * So for me it is less about the first impression than it is about how the individual’s character, lifestyle issues and personality measure up to the “disqualifying” list of traits and behaviors that I find unacceptable.*

I also find it funny that your post was so quickly read over by your critics that they missed the point of your post. I don’t think you ONCE mentioned “physical” ANYWHERE in that post. Isn’t that crazy?? At least Dan apologized, so that’s good.

By melo

November 19, 2007 11:31 AM | Link to this

I am getting a PhD so I will be able to afford taking care of myself. ha haha!

By Wordsmith

November 19, 2007 11:31 AM | Link to this

@Blue_Kolla “Peeps don’t get that lesson until they’re at least 30, if then.”

You’re absolutely right, especially on the “if then” part, because such a realization doesn’t always come with age (though it should, one would think.)

I don’t know. Maybe I’m missing something here. I mean, it’s difficult enough being a black man and trying to dispell the various misnomers and stereotypes floating around out there about us, only to have some woman say, “Yeah, I know you got a good job and that you take care of your kids, but I need a man who’s at least 6’2”. Holla.”

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 11:32 AM | Link to this

Taz…Read Friday’s blog for a good laugh from my end…lol

By Rell

November 19, 2007 11:32 AM | Link to this

COSIGN DAN!!!

By SexyCool

November 19, 2007 11:33 AM | Link to this

lady j…i wouldn’t ask for a guy’s thoughts after a date…in my opinion…it implies a need for validation and/or ego stroking…

the thing is…if you are your own biggest fan as you should be…then you will already know that you are a good date…and it is a needless question…

it could also imply other sorts of things…like you being more into him than he is into you…

or…if you feel the need to ask the question…after only a DATE…then you are putting too much thought into it at this point…or maybe, you’re looking to find out if it was as horrible for him as it was for you…

and so on…

also..this is not an attack on your actions…just the view from my window…

By Staceye

November 19, 2007 11:34 AM | Link to this

Wordsmith oh ok..I feel what you are saying.

Dan your post about guys wanting the knickers..is the reason why I do not date anymore. I do not get emotionally attached so if he goes out and gets the pudyd from another girl…by all means…keep it moving. It seems that you are d@mned if you do and d@mned if you don;t. You could be giving that guy the puddy and he is still being greedy and getting it from someone else. So there is no winning in the situation because a guy is lead by his diznick other than his brain and heart. So now I just sit back and watch guys try to get the puddy and it’s now funny to me now because I no longer am interested in having a relationship. So that work that it takes to get a guy and keep his attention (that of a 2 year old) is just way to much for me.

Bre I feel that way too. Just let it be known so no misunderstandings shall occur. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 11:35 AM | Link to this

Hey Slim! I will get you one!!! It’s the Holidays!!! LOL

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 11:37 AM | Link to this

GetOverIt: You make a good point. If the billboard is advertising quite openly, then one would not have to go too far to figure out what attracted the man stop and look. And it would be considered a fair question to ask-but then, any woman who is advertising the goods so openly probably wants that kind of attention. One can be sexy and provocative without looking cheesy, sleazy and cheap.

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 11:41 AM | Link to this

Thanks SexyCool!!! That was good info…Now trying to tone my Leo side down! You are right with your post…J

By ImAPeach404

November 19, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this

Dan, sounds like your descriptions of male & female relationships is equal on both sides - we keep friends of the opposite sex that we will not sleep with, right?

I have 4 really close guy friends and I know they are truly good guys. They keep my spirits up and lets me know that there are indeed good single men out there looking for a good woman.

I am stuck in their friendzone and they are stuck in mine. Nobody wants anybody elses draws and everybody is cool with that. Male/female friendships are not urban legends!

By Wordsmith

November 19, 2007 11:45 AM | Link to this

@Staceye Thanks! ;-)

By ImAPeach404

November 19, 2007 11:45 AM | Link to this

…Peeps don’t get that lesson until they’re at least 30, if then. I was listening to this older cat tell that same line to a youngin’ that was probably around 22. Lil youngin’ was oblivious to the jewels that he was being handed.

I’ve always been an equal opportunist as far as age is concerned, but a few recent situations i’ve been through with younger guys has really opened my eyes about the age thing. You don’t realize the huge maturity and emotional growth between 25 and 30 until you’re 30 trying not to get frustrated with a 25 year old!

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 11:46 AM | Link to this

Thanks Foots. I know that I did not imply anything about the physical because that ain’t how I roll. Like I said earlier though, women and men have different assessment values when it comes to first impressions. I do believe from personal experience that men are almost always going to use the physical assessment as a major crieteria first and foremost; which isn’t to say that women do not use it as well, but I think that they use it less often as a major criteria. So, I think the dudes assumed that is what I meant, it was totally a subjective rationale on their part-lol!

By kinderbabe

November 19, 2007 11:46 AM | Link to this

ladyj uhoh…this sounds like a funny one. i’ll give you a call later this evening to hear all about it.:)

imapeach* thanks.:)

foots hey, how are you?

By Foots

November 19, 2007 11:47 AM | Link to this

When it comes to meeting and dating new people, do you know what people think when they meet you? Do you think they “get” your personality, humor, or attributes?

No, it takes a while to get to know everything I’d like for people to know about me. I am myself when I meet someone, so they might “get” that I’m silly and they might get a taste of my personality. But they don’t get the whole package, and I don’t even think they’d be trying to get it, especially if their reason for the approach is if they are attracted to me. Once that tension wears off and his mind is clear, then a man can start to get to know the real me. But regardless, I try to make a good first impression upon first meeting someone, whether I might be interested or not. You never know who you are talking to.

How far does the first impression go when you consider someone to date? Do you decide if you will pursue your interest in someone if they had a less then stellar first impression when you first met them?

First impressions are definitely important to me. If I met a guy like some of the self-proclaimed a-holes on here, he wouldn’t get my time or energy. Your chances to make a better second impression are so slim, because most likely, you will NEVER see that person again , so why not make a first impression count? Why not even make the effort to be personable when you are trying to build someone’s interest in you? I don’t get it.

I guess my question is: “Why would I be interested in somebody who gave me a less than stellar first impression?” Now I can see if this is somebody who you will have contact with again, who may have another chance to get it right. But somebody I met in passing? No incentive for interest if he can’t dig his head out of his azz long enough to be likeable.

By Dan

November 19, 2007 11:48 AM | Link to this

@Staceye

I feel you, take care of your seed. And @ M’kryal

Yeah, you might wanna check your homies for the switch or you might not be the one they trying to get at like that.

My rant was in response to Get’s post. That male/female “friend” title is a rationalization used by both sexes for “break glass in cas of emergency”.

And straight up, if it didn’t apply no offense. But if it did we all foul (cause I keep a couple of those chilling like the cold beer mugs in the fridge).

By melo

November 19, 2007 11:51 AM | Link to this

a date is not an interview for a job!! Asking for an opinion after a date is a depserate move.After that, u have no leverage in the whole dating process. U go for a date and go home after that. If he likes u, he will call and let u know thru his actions etc, if not move on to the next prospect.Its not the end of the world. If u really need an opinion on who u are and how u project urself to men, ask ur guy friends,ur male cousins etc. Chances are what u have heard over the years from those close to u is the truth u’re trynig to block off, hoping its not true.

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 11:53 AM | Link to this

ok kb…lol…it is…J

By ImAPeach404

November 19, 2007 11:53 AM | Link to this

I have a question - is not talking to a man/woman because they have kids more acceptable than not talking to someone because they are unattractive to you???

Why is the child issue a more acceptable form of discrimination?

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 11:54 AM | Link to this

Sistah Staceye:

I can truly feel you on that one. I left the dating scene 21 years ago (3 years after I moved to the ATL). I just do not have the patience for the games. If you give it up, then you are a H* and if you don’t you are a B*-go figure. And yes, they are greedy, they want as mcuh as they can get-yours, mine and hers, whoevers!

By Blue_Kolla

November 19, 2007 11:54 AM | Link to this

Wordsmith “Yeah, I know you got a good job and that you take care of your kids, but I need a man who’s at least 6’2”. Holla.”

You might want to recall that statement before everybody actually reads it. LOL

Staceye your post about guys wanting the knickers..is the reason why I do not date anymore. I do not get emotionally attached…

So what are you doing then? I mean have you signed up for a new membership at your local convent; booked advance tickets to upcoming Hedonism events, or just basically sport fuggin? (<===now citing Jazzy)

By Page1908

November 19, 2007 11:54 AM | Link to this

^5 Bre. I’m like what is the big deal about it! I guess since Diva said not to talk about it anymore, then I will just let go and let God…lol.

I know LL is lurking somewhere getting ready to bust in on this topic and get on his soap box…lol

LOL @ Kym going off on ole girl.

By For Real

November 19, 2007 11:59 AM | Link to this

What up Blog Fam!

On Topic: The first impression I been told I give off is intimidating and unapproachable. I don’t go out to meet people. I go out to have a good time. So I am not concerned about what someone’s first impression of me is. As a matter of fact, I actual like to f/k with people, especially strangers. But the first thing I look at are the eyes. The eyes never lie. If you got crazy eyes or troubled eyes I’m out.

Question for the ladies.

With all of the different rules, guidelines, or saying that women live by, what would you think if men applied those same rules that women use to govern their life.

Slim Today is Monday!!!!

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 12:01 PM | Link to this

ok melo…it was a convo that came up and he ask in an indirect way and I told heim he was cool and vice versa…I got it…If I told the whole story you would understand but I am not…I get it though…Thanks again and not needy or desprate sp….anyway I get it and thanks! J

By Foots

November 19, 2007 12:01 PM | Link to this

kinderbabe Hey lady! How’s everything going?

M’Karyl And you’re right about that. I think that was why the reaction was so harsh too, because attractiveness is usually the first thing on a man’s mind and is the ultimate reason why he will approach an unknown woman. Dan has even implied that he will be less of an AH to an attractive woman. Several guys on here copped to the fact that they would continue to mess around with a crazy girl with good sex. So yes, it’s really an issue of attractiveness and physical attributes for most men. Which is fine by me.

But why is it that if a woman even hints that she would like a good man who is also attractive to her or has specific physical attributes, the men take such offense? Hmmmm….

By Rell

November 19, 2007 12:01 PM | Link to this

@peach..friends huh..where is a true friend test

go get yourself a room..and call up one of your buddies and tell him that you got a room and you need him to bring the drink and d*, because you need to be f…a real friend will be like you are tripping…but a transformer will be like what room

By ImAPeach404

November 19, 2007 12:01 PM | Link to this

(I had an interesting weekend)

But, I met this other guy too - he was a friend of one of my guy friends and I had seen him once before. He’d asked my friend about me the first time we met but nothing ever came of it. Well anyway, this weekend he, I, my female friend and my guy friend were all hanging out. After about 10 minutes him and my friend got into this HUGE argument and he was basically being a real a**hole to my homegirl.

It was bad and it made me feel a little awkward. Would it make a bad first impression if someone you just met started ish with one of your friends and the whole situation caused a scene???

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 12:02 PM | Link to this

He did call back and we do have a second date also not that you care but anyway…J

By Dan

November 19, 2007 12:02 PM | Link to this

Sometimes not dating is celibacy, and sometimes it’s through no choice of your own.

My comments earlier were meant to illuminate the timeline men and women live on when it comes to physical intimacy. I can’t say every man and I can’t say every woman. But in conversations I have it appears that this is the most common issue we deal with.

Me, I don’t want the draws unless they are offered. Like Big Unc, I stopped playing “the game” years ago, I’m into coaching now.

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 12:03 PM | Link to this

Dan:

First of all, I do not like you disrespected my brothers. I also have many gay men as friends, so I do know the difference. In fact, one of the reasons I kick with the dudes so well is that I keep it real, and my brothers like the fact that I have their back and can give them a good sounding board or a place to vent and not feel dissed because I do not take the gender side of things with my friends.

By Page1908

November 19, 2007 12:03 PM | Link to this

LOL @ Blue! OMG here we go again with only dating dudes over 6 feet tall. ctfu

Rell- stop being mean:) mean mugging

By SexyLeggs

November 19, 2007 12:04 PM | Link to this

…I left the dating scene 21 years ago (3 years after I moved to the ATL). I just do not have the patience for the games. WOW! I’m not even going to equate leaving the dating scene almost 21 years w/giving up sexual contact, but if this is the case…WOW.

I don’t want to be gone from the scene that long, but I do feel you M’Karyl. The games being played are just stupid, a waste of time, and enough to make you go “glock crazy” on someone.

By johnny girl

November 19, 2007 12:06 PM | Link to this

Yes that happens to me all the time. I wear an afro like the 1970”s natural hair and people assume that I am pro black and hate white people. Thas not it at all my hair broke off and didin want to wear a weave or braids so pretty much my only choice. Proud to be an american…

By Cemeeli

November 19, 2007 12:07 PM | Link to this

Hi lady!

On Topic: Indelible Impression: “Go out and invite/treat you to be your own guest” first.

…still dealing w/ the issues about the youth.

back to lurking

By Foots

November 19, 2007 12:07 PM | Link to this

For Real With all of the different rules, guidelines, or saying that women live by, what would you think if men applied those same rules that women use to govern their life.

What rules or guidelines do you speak of? We should all have guidelines on our interactions with others, unless you are the “anything and everything goes” type of person.

But do you mean rules, like the one that Dan spoke about earlier, the “if you aren’t giving out the azz, or taking too long to give it, we getting from somewhere” rule? Or the “if you ain’t gave up the azz by the third date, I’m stepping” rule? Or the “I ain’t buying no woman a drink in the club cause I think she expects it” guideline?

By DasV (yea, its me)

November 19, 2007 12:08 PM | Link to this

for real you all do! i think men are just as critical as women are. we are just more vocal about it.

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 12:09 PM | Link to this

For Real:

Ain’t everybody got some kinda rules for sumthin”-men and women, cats and dogs, fish and fowl-lol. But more specifically-what rule etc. are you refering to? Just want to know what I am trying to respond to with an understanding.

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 12:09 PM | Link to this

For Real:

Ain’t everybody got some kinda rules for sumthin”-men and women, cats and dogs, fish and fowl-lol. But more specifically-what rules etc. are you refering to? Just want to know what I am trying to respond to with an understanding.

By SexyLeggs

November 19, 2007 12:09 PM | Link to this

Rell love your “friend” and “transformer” post….True dat, true dat!!!!

By Beautiful

November 19, 2007 12:12 PM | Link to this

melo a date is not an interview for a job!! i agree. i have been asked that at the end of a date. it’s an uncomfortable feeling and a turn off. that’s something i expect a female to ask. for a man to ask such a question lets me know that i’m going to be wearing the pants in the relationship. he seemed very insecure to me. i need a protector to stand over me and be the man, my man.

By ImAPeach404

November 19, 2007 12:12 PM | Link to this

Lol @ Rells friend test.

You know what… I’m scared to even try it! I’d be so blowed if I found out one of my homeboys was a “transformer”!

Good idea though :)

Hey foots!

why is it that if a woman even hints that she would like a good man who is also attractive to her or has specific physical attributes, the men take such offense?

Because, we can’t do what they do. rolling my eyes

By Blue_Kolla

November 19, 2007 12:13 PM | Link to this

MKaryl I left the dating scene 21 years ago (3 years after I moved to the ATL).

So what is your story? I just don’t understand why a person would quit on the whole process because they came across a few knuckleheads.

Sidenote: You keep that up and you’ll turn into that mean-azz lonely old lady down the street.

By Dan

November 19, 2007 12:15 PM | Link to this

@M’Karyl

No dis intended, it’s just a colloquialism.

But try Rell’s test with any one of your homeboys and then tell me what’s happening.

Scarface said it “things ain’t always what they seem.”

By ImAPeach404

November 19, 2007 12:16 PM | Link to this

Lol @ foots 12:07 post

By Foots

November 19, 2007 12:17 PM | Link to this

For Real I’ve heard it mentioned on here by three different guys, so I thought I’d ask: Is being an A-Hole on first meeting one of the guidelines that some men follow?

Wordsmith I see how you took issue with M’Karyl’s statement earlier (for no particular reason because she didn’t say anything about physical characteristics). But why didn’t you take the same line of reasoning with binford, when he led off the morning with his “visual eying up” process which hinges on a woman’s looks, then follows it up with disqualifying items on his list that have nothing to do with a woman’s character? And what is a “jib”, by the way…

By Staceye

November 19, 2007 12:17 PM | Link to this

Peach I think they are both equal. Though, if some is unattractive…they may be fixable say with a makeover. Or maybe the personality is so great you begin to see them in a different light. But dealing with some with kids is whole other issue. It governs how you date. I know if I were a guy I would not want to take care of another dude’s kid…and as a female..I do not want to deal with baby mama drama. As a person who is free to do what I want, when I want….if I am dating a man who is a great father that spend time with his kid…I am not trying to have to plan our vacations or outings around a school schedule or whether he can get a sitter, etc…I want someone free like me. not to mention if we were to marry..I’d want the experience of a child to be new for the both of us. Also..the issue of child support, if that is my husband, that effects our finances due to less of his income coming into our household. That is just my preference. I would not call it discrimination.

Blue_Kolla I am not in a convent. Since choosing to be celibate…I have kind of lost the urge to want to have sex. I feel my sex drive is connected to my emotions. So being as that I do not allow myself to get emotionally attached to anyone…then I do not crave sex. When I go to Hedo…it’s strictly voyeuristic.

For Real what do my eyes say about me? LOL

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 12:18 PM | Link to this

SexyLeggs: I still continued to go out, but I do not “date”. And as far as the intimacy goes, well HIV/AIDS slowed my roll 17 years ago, so I am very much about eliminating high-risk behaviors. The life you save my be your own!

By melo

November 19, 2007 12:19 PM | Link to this

I left the dating scene 21 years ago u are now beyond redemption….don’t infuence young Staceye coz she just needs rehabiliation.In 6 months, she will be back coz it is too sweet. M’Karyl so u survive on those once in a while norcturnal visits.Every woman needs nourishment from time to time. ImAPeach404,is not talking to a man/woman because they have kids more acceptable than not talking to someone because they are unattractive to you All are acceptable to me as long as u say it in a polite way.Instead of saying’she is ugly’, or ‘her kangaroo pouch is too big for a 30 yr old’, u could just say’i am not attrated to her’

By Rell

November 19, 2007 12:19 PM | Link to this

@sexxy, women kill me when they think that there male friends have no sexual interest in them…..not true, he just happy to be around you thats all….or does not have the guts to tell you how he really feels so he settles for that lil title of friend

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 12:19 PM | Link to this

@Beautiful…I feel you that is why I asked what was he really trying to tell me or imply…I just follwed up with his thoughts afterwards…bad move on my part but a learning experience…that never happened to me before…

By Tazzee

November 19, 2007 12:20 PM | Link to this

Lady J I tried to read Friday but all the posts are bunched together, my eyes are too old for all that. I did see that your ‘date’ insisted that you go - how cute.

I also saw Lady Dark popped - if you’re lurking, hey!

Dr. Kym Now you KNOW after that debacle at the GA dome I wasn’t going to say ANYTHING about the Steelers, or any other team for that manner. But like I said before - my motto this season is Tailgating, Talking Smack and Touching Muscles. Didn’t get a lot of smack talking in Sunday, but the other two were all good ;-)

By Cemeeli

November 19, 2007 12:24 PM | Link to this

Hi Blue…guy you are in a place/(comments) that reasons here and there…

By SlimOne

November 19, 2007 12:24 PM | Link to this

Lady J Slim doesn’t need a reason to drink. hehehehe

For Real Duh! I know it’s Monday….December 3rd. Geesh!

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 12:25 PM | Link to this

Blue:

I did not have dates in high school, so when I moved to the ATL and starting meeting more men,etc. I just did not dig they way I was talked to, treated, the expectations, etc. too much dumb game for me. Most men would dismiss the intellectual side of me and focus only on the physical attractive-sexy, gorgeous, totally bullsh** noise. It offended me-so I stopped dating, never enjoyed myself one time, ever. I found other ways to hang out and maybe spend some time with someone if I was interested in the person. But I did not “date” to meet someone.

By Dan

November 19, 2007 12:26 PM | Link to this

Awww Foots

You know I just be KIR. I’ll say what half the guys you meet might be thinking. Like M’Karyl’s homeboys I’m the dude that will tell you “he’s just not that into you”

Don’t go to ascribing character flaws to ya boy!

By Blue_Kolla

November 19, 2007 12:29 PM | Link to this

Rell a real friend will be like you are tripping…but a transformer will be like what room

You might be on to something there… …Yeah slim… it’s cool, we’re in the friend zone. You ain’t gotta sleep on the couch. Go’ead and get in the bed. LOL

By ImAPeach404

November 19, 2007 12:29 PM | Link to this

Im not sure who said it, but the person that mentioned they gave up on the dating scene 21 years ago… what exactly does that mean? I’m fascinated…

And while we’re defining “jib”, can someone also tell me what a “goon” is?

Staceye Ok, I guess I can see where you’re coming from. I recently had a guy tell me that he didn’t like the fact that I had a kid and he wished I were coming into the relationship alone - said he’d never dated a woman with a kid. I think he really tried but he just couldn’t do it. I appreciated his honesty but it didn’t make me feel any better. There is luxury in doing what you want when you want and I can see how that would be difficult to suddenly give up. Thanks.

By SexyLeggs

November 19, 2007 12:30 PM | Link to this

I gotcha M’Karyl. Who am I to talk about anything. I have to agree(albeit very rare), w/Melo that [E]very woman needs nourishment from time to time. If your “from time to time” is over 21 years, then that’s your frame. Hell, a few of us on here is over a year so I understand!!!!

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 12:31 PM | Link to this

Good Slim…I stopped and so proud of myself not that I need AA bc I don’t but I didn’t even realize I didn’t even think about drinking while out yesterday…Anyway, I was thinking about the xmas parties I am going to soon but ginger ale is going to be my drank for a sec! LOL

By Beautiful

November 19, 2007 12:32 PM | Link to this

Rell hi sweetie! there is no such thing as a guy friend. i would love to have one. just let one go recently because he tried it. now he blows up my phone with calls and text msgs. i feel bad, but i’m not into him like that. i’m upset that he didn’t give it time. now i did make one mistake. while visiting him one time, i did kiss those soft azz lips of his. my bad.

By Rell

November 19, 2007 12:33 PM | Link to this

@peach

You know what… I’m scared to even try it! I’d be so blowed if I found out one of my homeboys was a “transformer”!

well from that you know there is more than meets the eye….iamjussayin, he is only your friend because he is holding out hoping you will see the good him….he should just tell you..like peach, i want to bend you over…you turn me on..etc, at least you will know the truth and not this front…

By Foots

November 19, 2007 12:33 PM | Link to this

Rell I don’t think that anyone thinks that male friends won’t sleep with them if the opportunity arose. Hellz, some dudes sleep with anything moving, so sure, we know that male friends might take the bait.

But that doesn’t mean that they are not true friends. None of my male friends are “biding their time” with me, but all of them think I’m attractive. Nothing wrong with that. My youngest male friendship is nearly 7 years old now, two are over 10 years old and all are happily married. And they are great friends to me, like I am to them.

I don’t think that men put enough faith in themselves that they can have meaningful friendships with women, even if there is underlying sexual tension. If character is important to you, you can find friends of good character in either male or female form.

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 12:33 PM | Link to this

Dan:

My brother friends tell me I am fine as hell, sugar and they treat me very well. I receive beautiful cards, flowers, gifts for b-days and holidays. We go uotto eat and bar bounce, hang out, etc. I just have a different agenda as a human being. I love my daddy and he taught me how to appreciate men as people-human beings, not a gender.

By SlimOne

November 19, 2007 12:35 PM | Link to this

On-topic I honestly don’t know what dudes think of me on the first meeting. I guess they think I’m down-to-earth, easy to talk to, funny, too silly, or maybe even ditsy. But truth is, there’s more to me than jokes. Just because you’re funny doesn’t mean you’re stupid.

Met up with a dude this weekend. First impression is that he can be an azzhole and very moody. He did say he’s a moody person but the jury is still out on the azzhole part. As far as physically, I am attracted to him. We’ll see how that goes. A guy friend of mine said when a chick is attracted to a dude, the puddy will come as long as he doesn’t talk himself OUT of the nookie. LOL!

By melo

November 19, 2007 12:36 PM | Link to this

ImAPeach404 make sure u luv ur kid!! A true man will appreciate u more when they see yr luv for ur kid and how u are a good mother. U may not notice it, but some men will be watching and u will be rewarded in the dating game. Good luck!

By Hotlanta

November 19, 2007 12:37 PM | Link to this

First impressions is VERYimportant. I met this guy he was in uniform. He approached me very respectful and I gave him my number and we talked for 2 weeks,2 times a day. He was going on and on about he couldn’t wait to be with me. He was even going to get a haircut for the date. Low and behold I was looking all cute and when this man came to my house he smelled has if he has put on toooo much cologne to hide the smell of liquor on his breath or tooooo much liquor to hide the smell of the cologne. He didn’t get his hair cut he had on some scarf and a baseball cap and some on those big shorts the teenagers wear. I was like WTF. I stood in front of my door and pulled it close to me and asked him what happened and he was drunk. He was like can you smell it. I said you are a OLD thug and please do not call me again. His first impression was so bad I was not gonna stay around and wait for another one.

By Jazzyone

November 19, 2007 12:38 PM | Link to this

Dan I have something to share with you would you please pass on your email address???

By Foots

November 19, 2007 12:38 PM | Link to this

Dan But when you say those things that other guys might be thinking, and I’m assuming that those things would be rude because of the AH designation, do you really expect her to take an interest in you? Maybe I need clarification on what being an AH on purpose means. Is it a tactic used to build interest?

By Dan

November 19, 2007 12:39 PM | Link to this

Staceye

I have to ask why the wall? What would cause that much of a shutdown? Not that I haven’t seen it before but dizzam, the “D” just couldn’t see letting anyone or anything have that kind of control in my life?

Regardless darling, do you, and know that life is too short to live in the past.

Agreeing with the first part of that post though.

By GA.Man AKA "Mr. Entertainment"

November 19, 2007 12:42 PM | Link to this

UUUM Bre I LOVE THE PATRIOTS

hello to everyone

By Staceye

November 19, 2007 12:43 PM | Link to this

Melo I need rehab? LMFAO

By melo

November 19, 2007 12:45 PM | Link to this

I have to agree publicly (albeit very rare), w/Melo I like ur non-public agreements with me better SexxyLlol

By Blue_Kolla

November 19, 2007 12:45 PM | Link to this

Staceye I’m gon’ just say, “Aight.” But we both know better.

Cemeeli ha?

By SlimOne

November 19, 2007 12:45 PM | Link to this

Lady J That’s good that you took a break from it…However, my aunt just sent me a bottle of wine through my cousin. Merry Turkey Day to Meeeeee

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 12:45 PM | Link to this

Peach: To me dating implies that you and another make plans to go out-dinner, movies, etc. Usually the guy picks up the tab, etc. Most people “date” to meet other people, etc. I do not do any of that-just did not like the games. When I go out, I want to have fun, I can work a room and I learned that I had more fun going out by myself and meeting people along the way.

And to whomever said I would be a lonely old lady on the street-sugar I do not think so, I am catching the attention of the Bros in the VA from 20 to 80. I get plenty of attention, I just do not play games.

By binford

November 19, 2007 12:46 PM | Link to this

First off, it’s not that I’m deliberately being an a*s when I meet someone. I just happen to be a straight shooter who happens to say whatever is on my mind. People usually are scared/offended/threatened by that.

Once they get over that Binford speaks his mind (but is kind) - it’s all gravy. I’m not lacking in couth, but I’m not going to pretend to be something I’m not either.

@Foots Yes I do look at the physical in more of a pass/fail way; and my spectrum is fairly broad in that regard. Looks do matter to a reasonable extent to everyone - and the people that say that isn’t true I just don’t believe.

By binford

November 19, 2007 12:47 PM | Link to this

Cut of your jib

Meaning

One’s general appearance and demeanour.

Origin

cut of your jibThe jib of a sailing ship is a triangular sail set between the foretopmast head and the jib boom. Some ships had more than one jib sail. Each country had its own style of sail and so the nationality of a sailing ship, and a sailor’s consequent opinion of it, could be determined from the jib.

The phrase became used in an idiomatic way during the 19th century. Sir Walter Scott used to it in St. Ronan’s Well, 1824:

There may be an allusion between the triangular shape of noses and jibs in the figurative use of this phrase, but this isn’t authenticated.

By Dan

November 19, 2007 12:49 PM | Link to this

@ Foots

Being an AH is sometimes my natural state. I get the “he’s arrogant” all the time. But when years of facts bear one conclusion, is it arrogance or is it truth?

The other thing: guys don’t really want to be your friend and you know that, otherwise you’d had that ackward convo that begins “if you and I weren’t friends….” Some men just get stuck there, stubbornly refusing to give up to puddy ghost.

And @Beautiful

What kinda tease are you, gone kiss the man and then come up MIA? Dag, that’s why I have female friends that are unattractive. The cute/fine girls get a whole ‘nother designation:

Before and After

By SexyLeggs

November 19, 2007 12:49 PM | Link to this

Dan, it’s a long story w/Staceye. We have all dissected it and truly understand where she’s coming from. Hey girl, perhaps you can give him the condensed version to catch him up to speed.

By binford

November 19, 2007 12:50 PM | Link to this

Goon is a slang term referring to thugs hired by bosses or other authorities

AND/OR

A synonym for a hockey enforcer

An Australian term for box wine

By Foots

November 19, 2007 12:50 PM | Link to this

Hotlanta tooooo much liquor to hide the smell of the cologne.

LOLOLOL!!! DANG!! Ol’ boy wasn’t too good at making a second impression. He didn’t live up to the hype he set himself. If he was going through something that serious, he should have postponed the date.

Scenario for the guys Say you are out one night and you see a beautiful young lady at a restaurant, obviously drunk, loud-talking and acting very unladylike. The next week, you see the same woman at a business event, all polished, lovely, and carrying herself like a confident queen.

Which impression are you more apt to believe, first or second?

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 12:53 PM | Link to this

Sexy:

I did not say anything about giving up sex 21 years ago, I stopped “dating” 21 years ago-going out with someone, etc. But I have truly changed my agenda about intimacy in the AIDS age. Black women from 25-55 are fastest growing demographic in this country to become infected the virus. There are 17 states where African Americans make up 50% or more of the HIV/AIDS cases: VA,GA,NC,SC and MI are 5 of those states. Dekalb County Ga has one of the highest HIV/AIDS case for black women in the country-it is in the top 5. So I slowed my roll, again the life you safe may be your own.

By SexyLeggs

November 19, 2007 12:54 PM | Link to this

Melo, you nut! I didn’t put the word “publicly” in my post.

By Dan

November 19, 2007 12:57 PM | Link to this

@Jazzy: Danbynight@netzero.com

@Foots:

I am never disinfectual to any woman, I was raised better than that. But I can be the azzhole that Slim was just talking about.

It’s because I’m unconcerned (my sister calls me spoiled). I don’t really care about what you intial opinion of me is, because either I’ll never see you again or if I do, you’ll catch me in a different mood hopefully. But through it all, like me hate me, call me the AH, I’m an attractive guy (and yes I am that conceited). So you’ll either remember the good looking guy that dissed you (and hopefully be nicer to the unattractive dude that approaches next time) or you’ll see me again and be washed away in my beauty (just kidding, but not really, more for affect).

By SexyLeggs

November 19, 2007 12:57 PM | Link to this

Shoot, binford’s explanation of jib sounds much like the meaning I gave of Founder’s Day on Friday.

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 1:00 PM | Link to this

Well melo:

The male gender commodity is available in any sex shop. The 3rd shelf is shoe size 8-10, 2nd shelf is shoe size 10-12, and the top shelf is shoe size 12 plus-and me, I am a top shelf kinda of girl-lol. Mind you I haven’t invested in any toys yet, but hey there are options, cuz we girls be built kinda different, ya’ know. And I do not know if you can buy the female gender commodity in a store-lol!

By SexyLeggs

November 19, 2007 1:00 PM | Link to this

I understand M’Karyl!

By melo

November 19, 2007 1:00 PM | Link to this

First impression is that he can be an azzhole and very moody SlimO give him a chance.Moody pple just need to be left alone when they are in that mode. I am moody and an azzhole myself on occassion and my wife is the complete opposite, just like u. She will smile and talk loud at anybody and everybody, that annoys me. As long as both pple know the balance and mix it up, its good. U just need to learn to know when to leave the moody person alone..thats all.Otherwise a completely quiet and moody person with no variation of freakiness or feigned drama would be a dull person indeed.

By Beautiful

November 19, 2007 1:03 PM | Link to this

Dan i didn’t mean to. lol. had to try them. dang. he knew what was up and didn’t have to go there. you should only leap when you know the person will leap with you. i wanted him as my buddy; movies, dinner, hangin’ out, shoppin’, advice, etc. when i met him, he had a girlfriend. she left and went back to her baby daddy. when he turned on me, i felt like the fall back gal. my attraction for him flew out the door when i found out he was engaged.

By Foots

November 19, 2007 1:05 PM | Link to this

binford Looks do matter to a reasonable extent to everyone - and the people that say that isn’t true I just don’t believe.

I totally agree. It just seems like men take offense to hearing women say this. It’s like women get the “He’s nice to you, what else do you want?!?” rant sometimes. Why do you think that is?

Dan Oh, I’ve had plenty of the “what if” conversations. Not saying that I haven’t. But that’s natural, being men and women who obviously have some type of affection for each other, or they wouldn’t be friends.

I’m not talking about a dude that just walks up to me on the street, who I know approached me because he’s attracted to me. He’s not trying to be my friend, he’s after my azz, as you stated earlier. Friendships like the ones I have take years to develop and usually started by way of work and/or school, or other affiliations, like you find out you’re from the same hometown when you are away from home.

I know that some men don’t really believe this, but azz does NOT have to drive every decision you make in regards to relationships or friendships. If you (not YOU, per se, but collectively) can put your dizzle up for long enough, you might find that the person you can confide in and trust the most might be a woman and that will make her your friend.

By 2CPTG©

November 19, 2007 1:08 PM | Link to this

been trynna be quiet on this subject; but ummmmm, riddle me this…..if ya man/girl ‘sposed to be your friend first and foremost, then why can’t y’all have adult relations? You say that kills the friendship, why, I ask? to me, your pickings oughta come out of your friend line-up….cause if y’all friends, then y’all got some kind of bond going on, right?…….like my alter ego said, some ‘o y’all will forsake the dude who has your back, for that clown who only wants you on your back!

By Wordsmith

November 19, 2007 1:08 PM | Link to this

@Foots In response to your question at 12:50, I’m inclined to “believe” them both, but not necessarily give import to one over the other, because at that point all I’ve done is observe her in each instance and it would behove me to not draw any conclusions about her personally based solely on those observations.

A personal credo of mine is to never make assumptions about anyone, because assumptions tend to lead to nothing but trouble more times than not.

By Foots

November 19, 2007 1:09 PM | Link to this

Dan I don’t really care about what you intial opinion of me is, because either I’ll never see you again or if I do, you’ll catch me in a different mood hopefully.

So, why aren’t you in a different mood initially? Is it that you think you don’t have to be pleasing because you think you are attractive (which is subjective)? Don’t guys get in a tizzy when attractive women behave like that?

By Dan

November 19, 2007 1:09 PM | Link to this

But Beautiful

Why is you kissing the man? That’s my only question…if we sitting there watching the game and one of my Before girls tongues me down, then she becoming an After immediately following.

You were teasing the man admit it. Oh, and he was your fallback was he not?

By melo

November 19, 2007 1:10 PM | Link to this

Which impression are you more apt to believe, first or second 1st impression has dragged her down in value.

By SlimOne

November 19, 2007 1:10 PM | Link to this

melo being moody is all good and everything. BUT if you’re in a moody mode, why not postpose a meet-n-greet for another time?

By Blue_Kolla

November 19, 2007 1:10 PM | Link to this

MKaryl Usually the guy picks up the tab, etc. Most people “date” to meet other people, etc. I do not do any of that-just did not like the games.

My bad, I was giving you the benefit of the doubt.

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 1:11 PM | Link to this

Dan, perhaps you are not an AH. Maybe you just keep it real and honest-what comes up, comes out-ya’ know. And what it wrong with that??? I would much rather deal with the realness of a person than some shallow, feigned behavior. In my opinion, a real AH disrespects, belittles and humiliates others for his/her own personal satisfaction. And even if you are attracive and know it, so what? You can see when you look in a mirror-lol. Bless them good genes baby and live on!!!!

By Jay

November 19, 2007 1:12 PM | Link to this

Hello LadyJ U Stop drinking, good for you. I think I had enough for you and me. How have you been?

By melo

November 19, 2007 1:15 PM | Link to this

I did not say anything about giving up sex 21 years ago, male gender commodity is available in any sex shop U cannot have sex with a toy!! When the toy goes up ur tube, its not considered sex. U do not have to disclose everything about ur sex lyfe on the blog,though.No obligation on ur part.

By Dan

November 19, 2007 1:17 PM | Link to this

@ Foots, what you are talking about is marriage material. If I met a woman that I could confide in, share my hope and dreams with, and wanna bang….she off the market first thing. She getting a ring and the whole nine, the minute I realize what she means to me.

2nd point: Yes attractiveness is subjective, but as I said earlier, how long does it take proof become fact? That being said, I love a jazzy woman, I do, I do. She can as jazzy with everyone in the world but me (as usually happens).

And right on 2C! Ha, relations! That’s the new phrase: no more booty, puddy, cutty…it’s relations!

By Got that?

November 19, 2007 1:18 PM | Link to this

First impressions don’t mean anything overall. You have only past experiences with other people to base your opinion on this new person. In that moment, you’ve just condemned them for someone else’s action or non-action. Let them show you who they are. The most important thing in life is how you leave people. Who cares about what happens when you meet them.

By Cemeeli

November 19, 2007 1:19 PM | Link to this

Blue ur comments = reason = making comments that have NO cushion for feelings. FEEL ME?

i’m participating as a lurker today, and the precept/insight on flks comments is different

By Beautiful

November 19, 2007 1:20 PM | Link to this

2C i agree. the relationship with my guy friend could have possibly gone somewhere. kissing is nothing. he had kissable lips and i wanted some. so what!

Dan he was not my fallback. i liked him very much as a friend. i could of saw my best friend becoming my husband.

By Blue_Kolla

November 19, 2007 1:22 PM | Link to this

Beautiful i wanted him as my buddy; movies, dinner, hangin’ out, shoppin’, advice, etc.

Ummm… aren’t you supposed to do these things with your man/BF/SO?

when i met him, he had a girlfriend. … my attraction for him flew out the door when i found out he was engaged.

Again… ummm… so he was attractive as long as he was attached but not hitched?

And you females were giving dude the business because he said that women weren’t rational thinkers?!

By melo

November 19, 2007 1:22 PM | Link to this

SlimOne, if he was moody on date night, thats wrong. However because u urself are high octane and bubbly all or most of the time, u might mistake ur date’s mellowness and cool demeanor for moody behavior. U know better but see if this will be the same scenario next time around.

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 1:25 PM | Link to this

Do not get me wrong Blue: What I described was what is typically called the dating scene, not my personal view on it-how would I know, I quit, remember!!!-lol Like I said, I never dated in high school cuz guys wern’t into me like that and I never really learned the rules to the games. I adapted to going out by myself or a few friends, etc. I am used to controlling my own space when I am out, and dating never seemed to allow that-as long as the man is spending the money, he seems to have the control-no thanks, I’d roll solo and party on!! I can spend my own money thank you.

By SexyLeggs

November 19, 2007 1:25 PM | Link to this

Again, playing the devil’s advocate…he knew what was up and didn’t have to go there. But Beautiful, you too knew what was up and went there. You’re more wrong than him for trying to see if he can make you go a step further.

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 1:30 PM | Link to this

Mello;

You have not learned to read yet, have you, bless your heart. I was not talking about my sex life arsewipe. Sex and dating are 2 different things-or maybe you do not know that. And if you read the post, I said I had not bought any toys, and I was mostly making a joke. God whoever married you married a real jerk piece of work. Read a post thoroughly before you comment, or just turn yurself around in the chair and save yourself some trouble.

By Blue_Kolla

November 19, 2007 1:32 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli oh really?

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 1:33 PM | Link to this

Hey Jay!!!! Now Jay behave!!!

Slim…Enjoy!!!

By SlimOne

November 19, 2007 1:34 PM | Link to this

melo Saw him again yesterday and a much lighter silly vibe. So i’m just sitting back to see how consistent or inconsistent the mood swings are. I have my moments of wanting solitude as well. We’re both Geminis so this ought to be interesting. I just hope interesting in a good way.

By Beautiful

November 19, 2007 1:34 PM | Link to this

Blue_Kolla i don’t do guys with gf. that’s y i wasn’t attracted to him. but as soon as she left him, those lips popped out at me. it’s all respect for the other female.

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 1:34 PM | Link to this

Jay, I am doing well also!!! Can’t complain!!! Isn’t that a step up for me??????????? LOLOL!!!

By SexyLeggs

November 19, 2007 1:35 PM | Link to this

Whew. Hey Beautiful, don’t mean to be on you today, but do you really believe this kissing is nothing. he had kissable lips and i wanted some. so what! The so what is he stepped to you because you left the door somewhat ajar. Now, as a man, he needs to see if he can kick it in. Can you honestly blame him? You’re posts really piqued my curiousity.

By Bre

November 19, 2007 1:35 PM | Link to this

GA-Man Your killing me…why is all I have to ask? But this is not the forum for that.

2CP Like your point, but hmmmm. I have plenty of “Male Friends” but they are just that, friends. To be honest I feel there is a large amount of eligible men to have a relationship with; without dipping in my bag of friends. Now I know alot of people have one of those pacts like, “if neither are married by a certain age they will hook up”. I even have one of those, but I’m cool with having my male friends without crossing the tango line. I have not read all the posts just skimming, if I’m off track, oppps

By GetOverIt

November 19, 2007 1:37 PM | Link to this

Dan,

Seriously! You know, I heard this same convo on Harry Met Sally once but I didn’t really think men thought this. You’re saying a guy could never get involved with a friend?

I mean, I am saying maybe women should look to be friends with a host of guys. Then later on, if things seem to get more intimate with one of them, great! If not, still great b/c you will have some really great friends. I don’t think someone should become friends thinking they will eventually become something more. Just be friends with more males (or females depending on your gender).

By GetOverIt

November 19, 2007 1:37 PM | Link to this

Dan,

Seriously! You know, I heard this same convo on Harry Met Sally once but I didn’t really think men thought this. You’re saying a guy could never get involved with a friend?

I mean, I am saying maybe women should look to be friends with a host of guys. Then later on, if things seem to get more intimate with one of them, great! If not, still great b/c you will have some really great friends. I don’t think someone should become friends thinking they will eventually become something more. Just be friends with more males (or females depending on your gender).

By SlimOne

November 19, 2007 1:39 PM | Link to this

BLog MEN Question: If you all have degrees…would you expect the chick you date to have them also or how does that work?

By aaa

November 19, 2007 1:39 PM | Link to this

aaa Normally I try to avoid ignorance -since I gave it up-but since I am already feeling froggy today I will jump. Cow.. She called herself a cow, Dr Kym!!! I know I told the truth. ITS ALL ABOUT THE TRUTH PEOPLE CANT TAKE!! Caps is for fun for me, I dont like to type in lowercase, I feel like I am not noticed. THATS WHY I LIKE CAPS!!!!!!CAPS…By Dan

November 19, 2007 1:09 PM | Link to this

But Beautiful

Why is you kissing the man? That’s my only question…if we sitting there watching the game and one of my Before girls tongues me down, then she becoming an After immediately following.

You were teasing the man admit it. Oh, and he was your fallback was he not?

CAN YOU SPEAK ENGLISH, I WOULD NEVER BE WITH A MAN LIKE YOU.

By melo

November 19, 2007 1:41 PM | Link to this

I never dated in high school cuz guys wern’t into me like that- M’Karyl And 21 yrs later, its still the same!!! A lot of self ‘incriminating’ evidence from u, ever since u started blogging last week. When is ur coming-out party??

By Blue_Kolla

November 19, 2007 1:41 PM | Link to this

Leggs Again, playing the devil’s advocate…

I’d call it “The Executor Of Truth, moreso than the “Devil’s Advocate”, ‘cause somebody here is bullsh!tin’.

By melo

November 19, 2007 1:48 PM | Link to this

I was not talking about my sex life arsewipe. I may be an arsewipe, but i sure am not sexually depraved.So my emotions are good and am not a tinder box ready to go DaBrat on somebody. Plz give me some credit!!

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 1:48 PM | Link to this

GetOverIt: I think what you said is truly right on. There is always a possibility that what starts out as a friendship can develop into something more-it happens all the time with people. I think that we do ourselves a disservice when we genderize each other and exclude non-intimate or non-emotionally involved relationships from our lives with others based upon genderization. Who knows, it could be the friend who might introduce you to the one that is right for you, and besides good friends of any race or gender are a rare and beautiful find to behold and cherish.

By Wordsmith

November 19, 2007 1:48 PM | Link to this

SlimOne Whether or not a woman has a college degree is irrelevant to me. Totally irrelevant.

Life presents different opportunities to us all and how each person responds to those opportunities is unique. So, personally, I would not make having a degree, or any particular level of education, a prerequisite for initiating a relationship with a woman.

Besides, what I’d need from her they don’t give you in school: a heart to love me.

By Jay

November 19, 2007 1:50 PM | Link to this

Ladyj, I will behave. I remember you wouldnt drink water, it had to be bourbon. growth is a beautiful thing.

By Beautiful

November 19, 2007 1:51 PM | Link to this

SexyLeggs when it happened, he clearly understood where i was in our relationship. we talked about it many times before the incident. i will never have another guy friend again and that’s too bad because i want one. he was my first and last. i don’t regret touchin’ the lips though. i do miss him.

By SexyLeggs

November 19, 2007 1:53 PM | Link to this

Off-Topic @Truth. I know you’re lurking but wanted to know if you plan on putting any of your new cooking skills to the test for Thanksgiving?

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 1:56 PM | Link to this

Melo: First of all, guys did not like me because I was abese, so beng men theey found me unattractive.

Secondly, I get plenty of attention from men. I do not date. I have met plenty of men without “dating”. I met people in Piedmont Park, at local festivals throughout the ATL and Decatur. I do not need to date to meet someone. When I encounter a person of interest it is usually at a function of mutual interest, and if I am interested in getting to know the person better then I spend more time hanging out with him.

And BTW, if yu read my ost I said I like 12 plus shoe size wearing men. Someone who can make a horse jealous!

By Dan

November 19, 2007 1:58 PM | Link to this

@ aaa

My loquacity and elocution mean nothing in this forum. I often use colloqualisms for effect, for I am a writer and student of the human species. My language not withstanding, I think you’ve proven Diva’s original point. Because of one post you’d “never date a man like me”. Then excuse men while I cry (That was intended to be sardonic, not sarcastic.)

@ slim

Daggone right she needs to have a degree. I can’t have love for a simpleton and/or someone with little to no drive. I struggled for mine, she need to have put in the work for hers too.

By SlimOne

November 19, 2007 1:59 PM | Link to this

Word Appreciate your response. It just seems like lots of folk look at you on paper first and take you for who you are real life second.

By Blue_Kolla

November 19, 2007 1:59 PM | Link to this

MKaryl Sex and dating are 2 different things-

And you said that to say what? Break that down for me.

By DuShawn

November 19, 2007 1:59 PM | Link to this

SlimOne I agree with wordsmith. I couldn’t possibly care any less about a woman’s level of education. I know women that had GED’s a decade ago and they now have advanced degrees. It’s never too late to be what you could’ve been

By DreamsMaterialize

November 19, 2007 1:59 PM | Link to this

SlimOne

BLog MEN Question: If you all have degrees…would you expect the chick you date to have them also or how does that work?

I expect a woman I date to have character and ambition. I think it’s a no-brainer that the first is independent of a degree. The second characteristic (or lack thereof) is often disguised by a degree. There are lots of idle/complacent people with degrees. Give me a woman working towards goals while maitaining her character, DEGREE OF NO DEGREE.

By DreamsMaterialize

November 19, 2007 2:00 PM | Link to this

SlimOne

BLog MEN Question: If you all have degrees…would you expect the chick you date to have them also or how does that work?

I expect a woman I date to have character and ambition. I think it’s a no-brainer that the first is independent of a degree. The second characteristic (or lack thereof) is often disguised by a degree. There are lots of idle/complacent people with degrees. Give me a woman working towards goals while maitaining her character, DEGREE OR NO DEGREE.

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 2:00 PM | Link to this

Melo:

I am not sexually deprived either. I just pick and choose who I would like to share that expereince with and I’d rather have more reasons than just being horny to motivate my desires, it’s called grow-up and get real. Empty sex is a waste of time. Like I said, you have not learned to read have you?!?!?!?!?

By Jazzyone

November 19, 2007 2:01 PM | Link to this

Beautiful from where I sit you come off as a c**k teaser with that move you did…

I have a crew of men that i have known for over 30 years back home they come down here to see me or i go home to see them…We have acode..crew does not do crew..although they will kill for me, have my back and vice versa we do not cross the lines of crew..we don’t do each other no kissing and shyt like that..wtf?

By Hotlanta

November 19, 2007 2:01 PM | Link to this

Mkaryl the highest percentage of women with AIDS are MARRIED women. Who said if you are single you get AIDS but if you are married you are SAFE. Marriedd women are also has the highest rate of STD’s. So if you are not dating waiting until you get married because you are scared of AIDS you need to start dating now. The brother who started the phrase “the DL” wife was a virgin when she married him. NONE of us are safe from anything.

By Beautiful

November 19, 2007 2:01 PM | Link to this

Wordsmith you’re so sensitive. i love that. share some of that with your boyz on this blog. i won’t mention any names. lol.

By melo

November 19, 2007 2:03 PM | Link to this

SlimO, its not necessarily about the degrees for me.Its about the company, interests,conversations and how she projects herself.Degrees do not mean socially attuned,smart,level-headed or good character or potential good mother and wife. Its the all-round personality.

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 2:04 PM | Link to this

I know Jay! Dasani has been it!! J is getting there!

Hey Foots!!!

By Dan

November 19, 2007 2:04 PM | Link to this

@Word

I could be wrong, but it might be that type of caking that got that MLB invite declined.

And M’Karyl how long would you suggest one wait? Would you spend say five years and countless relationship opportunities waiting on someone?

And Beautiful: If he had intiated that kiss, you’d be PO’d at his “invasion of your friendship/betrayal of your trust.”

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 2:05 PM | Link to this

Melo:

you obviously have not matured as you have addee age to your life. I ain’t on no nut edges sugar. I am so way cool and I quite thoroughly enjoy my life. I move from one good time to the next. Work hard, play hard. I live to have fun and enjoy myself I do. Sexual intimacy should be something that one pursues for a higher reason other than horniness and lustful needs. To be able to appreciate oneself and the person one is sharing that intimacy wiht it the ultimate level of gratification.

By Cemeeli

November 19, 2007 2:06 PM | Link to this

Blue Yup!

By SexyLeggs

November 19, 2007 2:07 PM | Link to this

[w]e talked about it many times before the incident. See, here’s my point and problem. Because you guys talked about things before the incident in terms that you’re such great friends and wouldn’t want anything to mess it up, blah, blah, blah. YOU went there anyway AFTER talking about the incident. Why did you choose to not have anymore male friends? Please, please don’t get me wrong, but I hope you’re disappointed in yourself more than being disappointed in him. Again, JMO!

By Wordsmith

November 19, 2007 2:07 PM | Link to this

Slim You’re right. It’s usually paper first, person second. I guess I’m just a hopeless romantic to think that that’s not the case with every woman, though, so I refrain from generalizing.

By DuShawn

November 19, 2007 2:10 PM | Link to this

Dan Are you saying, you would not date a woman with out a college degree? Wow…..are you serious?

By 2CPTG©

November 19, 2007 2:11 PM | Link to this

Bre….lemme ask you this then, why do females ask their guy friends for money, but won’t ask the cat they’re sleepin with for a dime??? that one baffles me…….

By binford

November 19, 2007 2:12 PM | Link to this

@M’Karyl

“I am not sexually deprived either. I just pick and choose who I would like to share that expereince with and I’d rather have more reasons than just being horny to motivate my desires, it’s called grow-up and get real. Empty sex is a waste of time. Like I said, you have not learned to read have you?!?!?!?!?”

That was a joke, right? Empty sex is a waste of time? I’m twitching over here - somebody call me a doctor!

And actually, biologically speaking, the hormones flowing throughout your body are the main contributor to your horniness and not you cognitive mind.

With that said I do believe in restraint when it comes to endeavors of a carnal nature.

One last thing: I got a friend that is 28 years old and a virgin. He knows he’s saved himself for nothing at this point.

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 2:12 PM | Link to this

Blue:

That was in response to mouthlo. I had plenty of “free love” in the late 70’s without dating (or having a boyfriend for that matter). I was a hit and run kinda girl-I played like the boys.

When I move to the ATL and I started “dating” I found the games involved to be a big turn off for me. I did not enjoy being treated like a face without brains, being scrutinized to see if I fit the mold, whatever that was. And I did not have sex with my “dates” because I did not enjoy the way they rolled. I stop dating and found other ways to meet people that were more engaging and less gamey.

So dating and sex are not necessarily mutually inclusive.

By SlimOne

November 19, 2007 2:12 PM | Link to this

Dan I can’t have love for a simpleton and/or someone with little to no drive Um…I didn’t realize No degree=Simpleton. WOW! That’s a very strong statement you just made. But I did ask for opinions, and you are most definitely entitled to yours.

By Blue_Kolla

November 19, 2007 2:13 PM | Link to this

Bre If you all have degrees…would you expect the chick you date to have them also or how does that work?

No, because… I know plenty of idiot degreed types that think that they are in position, handlin’ business, intelligent, blah blah, but in actuality, aren’t worth two dead flies. When I hear that sh!t, I ask for the GPA and a writing sample.

By Wordsmith

November 19, 2007 2:13 PM | Link to this

@Dan You know what, man? I’ve decided to table the MLB and just go for what I know, brah. I’m just gonna be me and let the chips fall where they may. Call it “caking” if you want (whatever that means), but as it relates to interpersonal relationship and the myriad of components involved, I really connect with that, man, so I’m going to keep it real, man.

Bruthas are looking for love, too. I guess I just tend to call it what it is (love) as opposed to using some kind of code word. If that’s “caking”, then so be it.

By Beautiful

November 19, 2007 2:14 PM | Link to this

Jazzyone i learned a lesson. ooops! but i’m not a tease. just a one time mistake i made.

Dan you’re right.

By melo

November 19, 2007 2:14 PM | Link to this

Hotlanta those reasons were just blog masks.We know the drill now.

By BLAT

November 19, 2007 2:16 PM | Link to this

@DAN, that is the official MLB stance on Wordsmith. Dawg… for realz, man. Behind the scenes the MLB is still considering you. We always do, cuz at the end of the day, you still a man. But all this spraying EMO around with reckless abandon gotz to stop.

Look, we all have our moments but they should only happen behind closed doors at the MLB HQ over a glass of Crown or Hennessy, but you JUST CAN’T be goin soft on us in the Blogosphere.

By Bre

November 19, 2007 2:21 PM | Link to this

Slim I’ve often been a cast away with men, due to not having a degree. Esp years ago when most people my age were graduating college. It really bugged me back then, I went for almost 2 years then lost patience with it and dropped out. I was more into seeing the world, living life, enjoying my youth. Now when I go home and see those men and they are all up in my face I get a giggle inside. I make twice as much as they do and some of them have 2 degrees. I don’t think its the education behind the degree but do you enjoy the work you do. I’ve always had a passion for numbers and people, so happens thats a good mix for Wall Street. Not to say one day when I retire before most people my age will. I might be inclined to go back, if not I will keep it pushing with what makes me happy.

By melo

November 19, 2007 2:21 PM | Link to this

I am not sexually deprived either.I just pick and choose who I would like to share that expereince And did u or i say’empty sex is a waste of time’ Oh,never mind.

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 2:22 PM | Link to this

2CPTG©….Too funny but true…For me the times I played that game was just to keep a imagine that I didn’t need him for the money even in a serious bind…childish to me but I learned from that to…stop giving it to someone who truly don’t have your back regardless and beyond the bed…J

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 2:22 PM | Link to this

Hotlanta:

My not dating has nothing to do with a fear AIDs. I am well researched on the subject of AIDs and I have written several items about it. I did not date the men in the ATL because the men in the ATL turned me off. I found tht they were too stuck on the physical and not the more substantitive. I have had several relationships with men while living in the ATL that I met without having to date.

By Dan

November 19, 2007 2:22 PM | Link to this

M’Karyl

It’s not about maturity per se. Some people can be open with their sexuality and their needs, it doesn’t make them bad/wrong/immoral people. It just means that we are comfortable with our sexuality. shout out leggs

While not trying to pigeonhole you or anything, you have the symptoms of “ugly duck syndrome” you grew up unattractive, developed a dislike for people that couldn’t see the “real” you and when you finally became attractive (or saw it for yourself) you were slightly jaded by your former perceptions.

Again, nothing wrong with that or your decision to place a higher value on sex than some people do.

Remember this, though, not everyone places that value on it as you do (and as most of us have lived/learned) some men will say/do anything to get that one thing. That eventual or past hurt is nothing new. Just be mindful of projecting your value system onto someone else.

By Jazzyone

November 19, 2007 2:23 PM | Link to this

Beautiful…point recognized!

By GA.Man AKA "Mr. Entertainment"

November 19, 2007 2:23 PM | Link to this

Beautiful you get a citation…just for trying to help wordsless(hahahaha) stay soft on ManLaw topics

ooooh yeah Staceye you get one just because

By DreamsMaterialize

November 19, 2007 2:24 PM | Link to this

SlimOne

The people who look at paper first are probably the same people who toss your resume because you used Arial font instead of Courier. lol Those employers will generally get mediocre employees, and may even luck up and get some good ones. But the employer who finds the true gem is the one who looks past the font filter and is able to determine whether the person represented in the resume can truly provide value to the company. The same is true when meeting a woman. People usually use these filters because they’re safe bets, and they minimize the amount of work you have to do, but the reward is also lower. If you disable the filter and instead take more time to know someone, then you’ll find the true gem. We all know that people can have the prettiest font and most expensive stationary but still be unqualified. After all, people lie on their resumes all the time.

By Wise Diva

November 19, 2007 2:25 PM | Link to this

aaa, I am afraid that your posts might get ignored because you usually just pick fights at random commenters, you don’t seem to really want to engage in a discussion, just insult people. Just what I have noticed. AT any rate, you can use bold and italics for emphasis, as well. There are instructions above the comment box to do this.

By SlimOne

November 19, 2007 2:27 PM | Link to this

Blue When I hear that sh!t, I ask for the GPA and a writing sample.* LOL! You might want to get Dan to let you borrow some of his standardized tests he requires all potentials to take.

Chick: Hi there, so are we getting together tonight?

Dan: We sure are.

Chick: Great! So what type of attire will I need for tonight so i can dress appropriately.

Dan: Well…that’s a great question. For this prelimenary date, you may dress very comfortably, bring 2 number two pencils, a calculator, and a blue book exmnan booklet.

Chick: WTF!

Dan: So I’ll see you at the library at 1400hrs. Oh yeah, pack you a little lunch too for break time.

By Wordsmith

November 19, 2007 2:27 PM | Link to this

@BLAT LOL!!! :-D

Dude, is it considered “soft” to be honest?! That’s my question for the MLB. Or, should I just cease and desist in using words like “love”, “heart”, “relationship”, and “commitment” in favor of words like “buddy”, “poonanny”, “shawty” and “beyotch”?

By melo

November 19, 2007 2:30 PM | Link to this

I am not sexually deprived either, how about depraved, which is what i meant. U conveniently mistake the two words for a reason tinderbox??

By Dan

November 19, 2007 2:30 PM | Link to this

@ Slim and Du

If off straight conversation, I didn’t know she didn’t have a degree I wouldn’t hate to hold my mental interest is to hold my time. And Slim the simpleton comment was a joke, at least in relation to a degree.

Now Words,

I can be with you on the romance tip (and Slim check this out), I’m a romantic too. But the difference is that I spent the last 5 years of my life counceling women on love and the whole nine. But there comes a time (and I hope you don’t get hurt learning this lesson) when you have to realize that baby is going to keep playing with fire, until after she’s burned and then she’ll want the man that was trying to tell her about that fire.

JMHO

By Wordsmith

November 19, 2007 2:30 PM | Link to this

Dag! Sounds a like a brutha needs to trade in his english degree for a duffle bag around here.

By Blue_Kolla

November 19, 2007 2:31 PM | Link to this

2Can lemme ask you this then, why do females ask their guy friends for money, but won’t ask the cat they’re sleepin with for a dime??? that one baffles me……

I know you know what’s up, and that you’re after an admission of truth from the ladies; but that ain’t even hap’nin’ on this here blog bruh.

MKaryl I was a hit and run kinda girl-I played like the boys. When I move to the ATL and I started “dating” I found the games involved to be a big turn off for me. I did not enjoy being treated like a face without brains, being scrutinized to see if I fit the mold,…

Sounds to me that as long as you were calling the shots then it was all gravy, but upon arrival in the A, you became one of many, your stock price dropped exponentially, and you simply couldn’t handle the reality of being just another piece of azz. You must be from Smalltown, USA. Am I in the ballpark on this one?

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 2:31 PM | Link to this

Gee binford:

imagine wanting to be sexually intimate with someone who shares a concern for you well-being and who is truly interested in you as a person. Not just some booty. WOW!!!! Sugar, back in my day I got more than my share and several other n=a big number. I grew up, my agenda changed and I learned to value what a true relationship was about-and sex just for sex ain’t it any more.

Dan: And M’Karyl how long would you suggest one wait? Would you spend say five years and countless relationship opportunities waiting on someone?

I do not think that you wait for anyone, sugar. When you have refined yourself to the point that you are have a clarity of self and what self desires, then you will encounter someone that fits in the flow of where you are going. We first have to become what is desirable to find someone who diesres to be with us and who shares a compatability to our own goals.

In the mean timme, I meet all kinds of fun men and we party, hoot, holler and enjoy life. Like I said, I make people feel good. And they seem to enjoy the no stress, no hassle fun. I only hang out with guys, I have never been one to hang too tough with dames.

By Jazzyone

November 19, 2007 2:37 PM | Link to this

Wordsmith now I think you are getting it..you might get in yet..LMAOFF!!!!!!

By Beautiful

November 19, 2007 2:38 PM | Link to this

GA.Man it’s sexy for a man to say what he feels. take a moment now and try it on us.

By SexyLeggs

November 19, 2007 2:39 PM | Link to this

Thanks for the shout out Dan. Being comfortable and not ashamed of expressing a need is a simple fact of life. Because you expressed it to another, acknowledged it to yourself and recognized its worth simply is a part of the multi-faceted spectrum of maturing. That’s all. Hell, we all get horny, yet we all aren’t comfortable stating it. Does anyone on this blog really cares who’s celibate and who isn’t? Perhaps! Is this important, perhaps not.

By Staceye

November 19, 2007 2:39 PM | Link to this

Dan after very bad experiences with guys I realized what I was doing wrong…I was giving too much of myself to guys. I don’t just give my body for fun..if I am dating you it’s because I like you. So to be intimate with a guy opens my emotional flood gates. So to stop that from happening..I do not have sex. Eventually I will get to the point where I no longer feel…then it will be ok to get my rocks off because I will be emotionally dead just as a man. It will be only for my physical satisfaction.

Blue_Kolla you can believe what you want…but I know what I do and what I don’t do. And that’s all that matters!

By Bre

November 19, 2007 2:41 PM | Link to this

2 I have no clue at all. I’ve never asked anyone for money since I had a job at 16. And esp never asked a man for ends and pray and hope I never will.

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 2:42 PM | Link to this

No Dan I do not have the ugly duckling syndrome. ATL men turned me off because they could not see more than my physcal appearance. I like me just fine, and I have a very healthy perception of me. I stopped dating in the ATL because I did not like the behaviors of the men towards me. And the men I did involve myself with were not from there or did not live there.I like the brothers attitudes in the VA better and I like they way they treat me much better as well. I actually enjoy them better because they talk to me as a person, not a face. I like the attention to my entire existence. ATL men never got that-go figure!

Look, honey I am a redeemed Joy F**ker. Been there f’d and was f’d by that. I enjoyed those days when I was in them, but many things in life can occur to make yu grow up, get real and reevaluate where you are and why.

By Blue_Kolla

November 19, 2007 2:43 PM | Link to this

Wordsmith I’m just gonna be me and let the chips fall where they may.

There you go bruh, stand up like a man dammit… and watch for the left.

That’s my question for the MLB.

But don’t get too cocky… addressing the whole board and all though.

@ Slim’s test skit. You stoopid LOL

By DasV (yea, its me)

November 19, 2007 2:43 PM | Link to this

with what words Dan been spewing on the blog today (loquacity/elocution/sardonic… and that was just one post) i wouldnt be surprised if WORDS’ nickname is yanked and bretrothed on Dan and they start calling Darrell ‘lil D’*… heeheheeee.

even i have to admit Darrell that there is a bit too much ‘beg’ in your posts… LOL i aint madatcha tho. and its not your chose of words so much with me as you always penning that tail on the donkey and wearing your heart on your sleeve… man up! LOL

By Dan

November 19, 2007 2:45 PM | Link to this

@ Slim

HA! A number 2 pencil! LOLOLOLOL! Shoot!

For real though, I don’t make them take an SAT practice test, but the vibe (I’m from SW Atlanta) is just…ewwww.

That is not to say that anyone without a degree is less intelligent. I personally believe I would have been the same suave, debonair, and worldly gentleman today without a degree.

@M Karyl

What makes you think I’m not the one to be deisred….See assumptions, assumptions.

@WD- good call on AAA. And if you watching join in, stop being judgemental and have fun. At least that’s why I joined.

By melo

November 19, 2007 2:46 PM | Link to this

Sounds a like a brutha needs to trade in his english degree for a duffle bag around here. the degree and the duffle bag are a requirement.U need a loot-bag to deliver to the WLB. U slowly getting it mayne.

By DasV (yea, its me)

November 19, 2007 2:48 PM | Link to this

2 anyone doin that is frontin on what they have/maintaining and is trynna save face wit their SO.

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 2:51 PM | Link to this

No Blue:

I just grew up. I was a buck wild chick in my younger days. Period. I did what I did. In fact, it was the way I was treated after I moved to the ATL that changed my mind about a lot of things. All tehy wantd was a face with an azz-and by then I was on to anther agenda, dear. I slowed my roll, probably saved my life and made many good brother friends (and a few lovers ) a long the way. Life changes as we grow older. I am not looking to loose screw anymore-did that, done with it.

By Dan

November 19, 2007 2:52 PM | Link to this

@M Kryal

Aren’t we all reformed Joy F*uckers. I know I slip every now and then.

On a dead serious real note, Staceye I want you to talk to someone. Not to suffer from any mental defect/disorder, but the answer is not dying. The answer to that problem is living (believe me I know first hand). You would want to talk to someone to help heal that scar (as I did) but in the end, just to let the emotions go.

I offer you this advice from personal experience, I’ve had counseling and am not ashamed. It’s made me a better person, a better man, and more in touch with who I am (and who I am becoming) everyday. Please take the help on your journey.

By SeanJohnson3000

November 19, 2007 2:53 PM | Link to this

Sup Blog…

@ Slim…the qualities i look for in a woman has nothing to do with her having a degree or not..and is not taught at a college….DreamsMaterialize gave two good responses…Dan’s response..and not calling your manhood out….is consistant with what you here from degreed females….which ultimately narrows the choices they have in dating….And to be honest after the intial “brief’ convo about what school you attended and what did u study is had….its not really discussed.

By 2CPTG©

November 19, 2007 2:53 PM | Link to this

Blue, you already know…..some prolly sittin there scratchin their heads trynna figure out a response……..but I’mma tell ya like this, and I think I’ve admitted as much, but I can honestly say, that of all my female friends I’ve prolly slept with a good 60% of ‘em……and even if we come to the mutual conclusion that we ain’t couple material, we’re still cool….and still may have an occasional rendezvous every now and then…..we’re adults, people..

By SlimOne

November 19, 2007 2:55 PM | Link to this

Dan If off straight conversation, I didn’t know she didn’t have a degree I wouldn’t hate to hold my mental interest is to hold my time.

Slim raises her hand waiting on Dan to call on her WHAT? Would you translate this please. I’d hate to miss the essay question on the next test.

By Lady J

November 19, 2007 2:57 PM | Link to this

peace folks..it’s bball season and I have a game to attend…I so have to make myself like bball…anyway…peace!

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 2:57 PM | Link to this

Oh no Dan, I was speaking in general terms about finding oneself and then finding the other self in someone else :). I learned that from my personal life experiences, and I was just sharing that thought with you in response to your question. The generic “you” third person” reference. Not the specific “You” second person!!

By QC

November 19, 2007 3:00 PM | Link to this

Wordsmith aka My Brother Can you get Vick’s address so i can write him while he’s in jail…..

QC wants to keep him encouraged

I’m out peeps, have a great evening….

By melo

November 19, 2007 3:00 PM | Link to this

Now when I go home and see those men and they are all up in my face I get a giggle inside. I make twice as much as they do and some of them have 2 degrees Bre,having a degree is not always all about the money, but the intellectual stimulation and the follow thru on the need to acquire the body of knowledge in ur chosen career.Thats why u see some people going for Phds and moving to academia, even though academia may not pay them as much. So temper ur inside giggles unless u are really sure.U can have as much money u want(see Mike Tyson-then), but i would rather have knowledge, then money, in that order.

By Wordsmith

November 19, 2007 3:00 PM | Link to this

@GAman LOL!!!! How much loot we talkin’ about, man? I do work for a bank, ya know.

By BLAT

November 19, 2007 3:01 PM | Link to this

Ok, Word. Points to you for engaging the Poobah. However, first: most of us here in the MLB can very well make our point to the females here without using words like “buddy”, “poonanny”, “shawty” and “beyotch”. However, some of us choose to do so from time to time, and it is what it is. Second: No one is saying your “soft” because you’re being honest… We say you’re soft cuz you ARE, especially if what you write on here is being honest. Look, ain’t nothing wrong with being the soft, sensitive brutha who’s all in touch with his feelings, and there’s a definite place for men like you on this blog…… Just not on the MLB.

In several days of having you on this blog, I’ve not seen you man up and just straight call out a WLB member whom you disagreed with, and the one time you almost did you prefaced it with Please don’t take this as a personal attack, ok? I’m responding to the post, not the person. Was that proper? polite? gentlemanly? Yes, but also softer than baby S#!T.

Bottom line, the MLB has a certain way that we roll, and YOU ain’t it.

By Foots

November 19, 2007 3:01 PM | Link to this

Dreams Great post @ 2:24. I’m going to have to use a couple of those lines from that one from time to time.

Slim LOL!! I missed your skits. You and For Real need to get a Thanksgiving skit going before everyone vacates for the holiday.

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 3:02 PM | Link to this

Dan:

I was way beyond the norm-lol! I lived to do 3 three things when I was younger-stay fly, stay high and stay with a well hung guy. I was too obssessed with the last one. I truly needed redemption. Think Prince lyrics in “Little Red Corvette”. And those were the days my friend…

By Dan

November 19, 2007 3:03 PM | Link to this

Right on 2!

Who says the that friendship and sex are mutually exclusive. And frog that addage about “it ruining the friendship”. To me and mine we became closer. The wonder was gone as to how the “D” drive ‘em crazy and for my part I can look at them and not picture ‘em nekked but actually see it.

It makes those akward silences less akward, becuase to quote M Karyl y’all have “been there f*cked that”. It’s a lot less tension too.

By Blue_Kolla

November 19, 2007 3:06 PM | Link to this

Wordsmith Sounds a like a brutha needs to trade in his english degree for a duffle bag around here.

Nope… versatility is an asset… sort of like a cross-over dribble.

DasV …i wouldnt be surprised if WORDS’ nickname is yanked…

I was thinking the same dayum thing. LOL

By Tazzee

November 19, 2007 3:06 PM | Link to this

Cmon folks quit fronting, everyone looks at the person on ‘paper’ first. You find out how a person looks on paper before you can even think about glancing at a person’s character. So don’t act like you aren’t looking at how they are on paper.

And many times what they present on paper is what allows you to take that next step. It’s usually in this order: looks, then who they are on paper. It’s only through time and pressure do you see a person’s character.

And I learned a long time ago that how someone looks on paper means nothing! I’ve come across a lot of guys with nice ‘resumes’ that couldn’t keep my interest.

By DasV (yea, its me)

November 19, 2007 3:07 PM | Link to this

then it will be ok to get my rocks off because I will be emotionally dead just as a man. It will be only for my physical satisfaction

i have to agree with Dan on this one baby girl. you need some help because attempting to deaden your emotions goes against everything natural. to stunt yourself emotional and attempt emotional suicide is NOT the answer. if that all you’ve learned, you have not learned at all. the answer lies in finding out how you can be you, remain true to who you are/want to be within the confines of the game… congnisant of the rules of pursuit, knowing that if you dont what consequences there will to be paid…

By Foots

November 19, 2007 3:07 PM | Link to this

2C I can’t answer that one. Though one of my male friends used to borrow cash from me, since I’m the only one of his friends, male or female, that ever had discretionary income. He always paid it back on time, so his credit is good with me. Maybe I should ask him why he never asked his girl…

Hey Lady J…

By Dan

November 19, 2007 3:08 PM | Link to this

Slim-Stop it!

You know what I mean, the degree is a symbol to potential employers that you are capable of learning a specific set of skills. It does not denote or for that matter, add to one’s intelligence.

Now, if you really want to keep your little metaphor going….we can have some “after class” extra credit, so don’t even worry about the test. You’ll pass, just meet me ‘bout um….3 o’clock.

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 3:10 PM | Link to this

Oh Dan my love, now you are quoting me?? lol-holla!!!

By DuShawn

November 19, 2007 3:10 PM | Link to this

SlimOne we’re on the same page. I didn’t understand Dan’s response either. I decided to just let it ride…lol

By Dan

November 19, 2007 3:13 PM | Link to this

M Karyl

Then if you was getting it like that, why hate on those of us fighting evolution? Why we can’t just enjoy the Bump, bump, bump without all the comments?

You remember that urge, and then the urge to call your homegirl at 3 in the morning like “giiiirrrllllllll”

By Jay

November 19, 2007 3:14 PM | Link to this

Vick begins prison sentence early Judge signs order allowing suspended QB to enter jail

By BILL RANKIN The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Published on: 11/19/07

Suspended Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick has begun serving his prison sentence so he can get out of custody as soon as possible.

An official who answered the phone at the U.S. Marshal’s Service in Richmond confirmed that Vick was in custody but would not provide additional details.

U.S. District Judge Henry E. Hudson of Richmond, who will sentence Vick on Dec. 10, signed an order Monday to allow the U.S. Marshal’s Service to take Vick into custody.

Vick was put in custody “based solely on his desire to begin his period of incarceration prior to his sentencing hearing and not because of a violation of any condition of his bond,” Hudson wrote.

In August, Vick pleaded guilty to be a part of a dogfighting operation known as Bad Newz Kennels at his former property in Surry County, Va. Vick acknowledged financing the operation beginning in 2001 through this past spring. In a plea agreement, Vick admitted the operation involved the “victimization and killing of pit bull dogs.”

Under federal sentencing guidelines, Vick faces between 12 and 18 months in prison, although Hudson could impose a sentence below or above that range if he sees

By 2CPTG©

November 19, 2007 3:15 PM | Link to this

Dan, my sentiments, exactly……shyttin me, if the marriage bug ever hits me again, I’m going str8 to my contact list….I already know them, and they know me; we know what the goods hitin on, so the guessing game is out; Methinks it makes for happier times, as opposed to you trynna impress some knucklehead, whether it be male or female….

By DasV (yea, its me)

November 19, 2007 3:16 PM | Link to this

stay fly, stay high and stay with a well hung guy

alrighty then, M’K thats why you speak from a place of wisdom…. life WILL teach ya a thing or two! right?!

did anyone see a PBS special on choosing Ms. Navaho over the weekend??

By Tazzee

November 19, 2007 3:18 PM | Link to this

SeanJohnson3000 Hey Man! Where you been? I’ve missed seeing you on these boards.

Darrell please don’t let the MLB sway how you post on here. And yes, I addressed you Darrell because that ‘Wordsmith’ moniker seems to be part of your attempt to get accepted to the MLB…I liked you just the way you were.

By Jazzyone

November 19, 2007 3:21 PM | Link to this

Hey staceye doesn’t have a problem with staceye than hey then let that be it…meanwhile folks blogging bout her mental stability and shes off enjoying herself standing on her head at hedo…so who seems to have an issue doesn’t seem to be staceye to me…do you girl..frick it…

By SlimOne

November 19, 2007 3:21 PM | Link to this

Dan Extra Credit…Oh perfect! I was starting to get a little worried. I hope my excessive flatulence won’t be a problem.

pnooottt Oops, cuse me. I had pasta last night.

By Blue_Kolla

November 19, 2007 3:24 PM | Link to this

MKaryl I was speaking in general terms about finding oneself and then finding the other self in someone else.

Alright, I got’chu… and you might have something with this here. ^^^

melo I don’t think that Bre is familiar with *Maslo’s Needs Theory.

By Foots

November 19, 2007 3:24 PM | Link to this

Dan It ruins the friendship if one of you is looking for more and the other is just looking for sport. Usually, when a person who is just looking for sport feels that the other is looking for more after the sex, they tend to distance themselves. I’m sure that has happened in your world a few times. But that’s what “ruins the friendship” means. With your stance on male-female friendships though, it seems like the sexual attraction is high on your list, so I can kind of see why you would think it would enhance the “friendship”. But if ol’ girl just wants a stiff one and you’re the closest one to her at the time, and you can both get up feeling the same way you did when you laid down, it’s all good!

Slim About the degree thing… I don’t believe that having a degree makes you more intelligent. Intelligence and wisdom are gifts, knowledge is what you get in school and through living. I’ve dated plenty of intelligent guys who never went to school or didn’t finish AND happened to be just as smart as any college educated dude about most topics.

In my experience, though, being able to finish a degree speaks of personal commitment, being able to finish something important to you that you start. For those men I dated who switched schools like underwear or who quit in the middle of it, it showed in just about everything else they attempted too.

By Dan

November 19, 2007 3:27 PM | Link to this

In other news

I thought we lived in a country with seperation of church and state. So much so that churches are one of the largest tax-exempt enterprises in the country.

If this is so, why is the Catholic Church issuing doctrine regarding voting methods, rights, etc.

Guess that child-molesting, hidden homo-phobic faking indutstry is out of pocket with some back taxes.

Bet $5 if my preacher tried something like that the IRS would be at his door next day! Not in a time.com article.

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 3:29 PM | Link to this

Dan:

I am not the one hating. I do give a rats a**e who you or anyone does. Not my business. You could do your mama and other kinfolk or any stranger you please as far as I am concerned. Not mine, if I ain’t got to douche it, I do not care-lol. All I said in an earlier post is that I stopped “dating” 3 years after I moved to the ATL. That is all I said. And it went form there-people assuming I meant this, that or the other. Remember, I have not said one thing in my post about anybody else’s joy box-ain’t gotta douche it, ain’t concerned. But I do know that I ain’t dying from some empty crouch bumping either and that is real!

By Deeva4Life

November 19, 2007 3:30 PM | Link to this

Darrell I agree with Tazze’s post and I was going to say the exact same thing. Be you…if that makes you soft or means you’re caking, well be the best you possible.

Lookie, lookie…what’s up SJ?

By Beautiful

November 19, 2007 3:30 PM | Link to this

Tazzee co-sign

By WTF?

November 19, 2007 3:33 PM | Link to this

Maslo’s Needs Theory

is that different than MASLOV’S hierarchal needs?

By Foots

November 19, 2007 3:34 PM | Link to this

Jazzyone I was about to say something, but your 3:21 has it covered. Staceye is traveling, having the time of her life, and seems to be getting along quite fine, all while going through a stage that the majority of us have been through. What’s the problem?

Staceye Have you posted pictures from the trip on your MySpace page yet??

Tazzee Right on!!

By Dan

November 19, 2007 3:35 PM | Link to this

@ jazzy- dag, if I’m on here tripping you at me. When I show genuine concern, you at me. Was hannenin?

@ foots- what do you mean my world. It’s yo world squirrel, I’m just trying to get a nyt.

And looks are pretty high on my list but I’m not that much of a shallow b*******. I’ve gotten a few ugly babes too, they were just smart as a somegun (and could change a tire, transmission, cook, clean, chop wood). JK LOL

By Blue_Kolla

November 19, 2007 3:35 PM | Link to this

Tazzee Cmon folks quit fronting, everyone looks at the person on ‘paper’ first.

Naah slim, I can’t even let that one slide. That’s YOUR MO. So what makes you think that errybody is operating under the same protocol?

Now being the finance-minded female that you are, I can see where you are on that one.

QC/Wordsmith Wordsmith aka My Brother

We are all very well aware of the relationship. Let that one ride. Yoll are reminding me of when Raqi was always calling out Mase, like we gave a fugg what dude’s name was.

By SlimOne

November 19, 2007 3:36 PM | Link to this

Foots I can see how finishing things could come out of that. Sometimes life happens, things occur, and sometimes folks just give up.

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 3:37 PM | Link to this

DasV:

That’s all this ole g be saying. I done gone gray in too many places and ain’t none of it lint-feel me!!!-lol

We need to learn from life’s lesson. Sometime is ain’t always the other who did us wrong. It is ourselves because we did not learn from our mistakes-which came from choices of our own volition.

By Blue_Kolla

November 19, 2007 3:38 PM | Link to this

Tazzie that ‘Wordsmith’ moniker seems to be part of your attempt to get accepted to the MLB…

Nope, He picked that name because it fit his blog personality, just like ERYBODY else on here. So what, you want erybody to post up their real names now… Jackie?

By Dan

November 19, 2007 3:39 PM | Link to this

M’k don’t make me pull a AAA and cut and paste your statements.

Whatever you got out of your time in the A, relate that to those specific men, cause I don’t wanna come to VA and have no woman talking about “my homegirl went to Atlanta and ….”. That’s all I’m saying.

And don’t talk about my mama.

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 3:39 PM | Link to this

OOP-correction I do NOT give a rats a**e who you or anyone does.

By melo

November 19, 2007 3:46 PM | Link to this

* Bre&Blue_Kolla*, money is like dew, now u see it, now u dont(especially in the african-american community due to lack of knowldge) But when u have knowledge, its for lyfe. Now think about that the next time ur a*s is broke.

By SeanJohnson3000

November 19, 2007 3:46 PM | Link to this

@ Tazzee…been hella busy..things are slowing down though..how have you been? is your blog still up.. is it updated?

@D4L…whats popping princess?

By Blue_Kolla

November 19, 2007 3:48 PM | Link to this

Dan The Catholic Church happens to be the richest entity on earth, so don’t wait on any suits to be knocking on any doors… ain’t hap’nin’.

WTF is that different than MASLOV’S hierarchal needs?

Nope - one in the same. But to be technically correct it would be Abraham Maslow’s (with a W - I misspelled dude’s name) “Hierarchy of Needs Theory”.

By Bre

November 19, 2007 3:49 PM | Link to this

Thanks BK I appreciate you thinking on what I may or may not know.

Greetings Melo If I was not sure I would not have my giggles.

Thank you both.

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 3:51 PM | Link to this

Dan:

The ATL has a reputation all of its own without any help from me dear. I hear and have heard from many and plenty some of the same things over teh years. And I am not from the VA, I just moved here after I left the ATL 5 months ago. I am from Illinois-true up top. What I truly miss are my up top brothers for real.

And I was literally talking about your mama. I do not know her and she ain’t here to defend herself. I was just trying to emphasis my point-aint’ gotta douche it, don’t care who does it.

By Tazzee

November 19, 2007 3:51 PM | Link to this

Blue_Kolla seriously, after you peep a woman’s physical, you get the ‘on paper’ details. You both ask questions like: are you married, any kids, where you work, etc. I’m not saying that’s the only reason you date someone but you get that information - THAT is what I mean by ‘on paper’ and if something crazy comes out of that convo - you cut it off. People make conclusions about folks’ character about the ‘on paper’ responses.

and on Darrell - if I read correctly, someone joked him about his name being ‘Wordsmith’ and he decided to take that on. I don’t give a flip what moniker folks use, I was just pointing out that the suggestion, his campaign for the MLB and someone’s statement that his willingness to change his moniker is a good MLB quality all came at the same time. I guess you’re bored today because you sure are determined to pick a fight with me today.

Blat what’s wrong with disagreeing with someone in a respectable way? Doesn’t make one soft, it makes them mature IMO. Yes, every now and then we all may feel a little ‘froggy’ as Kym said earlier - but for the most part you don’t have to challenge someone’s position by being argumentative.

By Wordsmith

November 19, 2007 3:57 PM | Link to this

@BLAT I hate to say this man, but the only reason I haven’t yet “called out” someone from the WLB is, well, because, I haven’t had a reason to, dude. I mean, hell, the closest I’ve come thus far is probably earlier today when I had an issue with something M’Karyl said, but hey, we patched that up and moved on. It was the same with a little discourse SexyLeggs and I had.

So, if and when the time comes when I disagree with the WLB side of things, you and everyone else will know where I stand. The fact is, I just don’t have a lot in common with ANY o’ ya’ll. LOL! I mean, I don’t drink (never have), so I can’t talk about that. I don’t club/party anymore, so that’s a non-issue for me, and I’m not the perpetual dater that a lot of ya’ll seem to be. So, what’s a brutha to do? :-)

Hey, maybe this’ll work. Do any of you guys support George Bush? I do. (No, that’s not a joke. I voted for him - and yeah, I’m black.) ;-)

By Blue_Kolla

November 19, 2007 4:01 PM | Link to this

Bre Honestly, from your post, it just appeared that you had minimal understanding of what personal motivation is all about. I could be wrong, but I doubt it - because you snicker at cats that you think make less mula than you. Now that’s entertainment.

By Dan

November 19, 2007 4:01 PM | Link to this

M’k

I been to VA, couple times (Black bikers weekends), and I can see the hate in the VA for the A. Truly I can.

The chicks are not as hot, and let the dudes tell it, they all Frank White. So yeah, I feel it.

On that other thang, it’s just a line I don’t like crossed. If you can’t disagree with someone without involving personal or quasi-personal attacks, then physical reactions are warranted. That’s just my line in life. I’ll call you everything but a child of God and never stoop to talking about your family in a negative fashion.

That just reeks of ignorance. No offense

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

November 19, 2007 4:02 PM | Link to this

@QC I’ll try and track down that Vick information for you. No problem. I’m sure the Falcons PR department has it. He’s technically still on the Falcons roster, but listed as ‘suspended’, so I’m sure they have all Vick’s contact information.

By Dan

November 19, 2007 4:04 PM | Link to this

@DARRELL

On the strength of the GW bush vote, you lose any nickname privileges.

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 4:05 PM | Link to this

Words:

But you do have a lot of good character and so do a few others here. I think that the exchange is good, whether people agree or disagree. It is all about the communication effort and end game. Play on Words!

By Foots

November 19, 2007 4:08 PM | Link to this

Wordsmith BKA Darrell You can take issue with me! LOL!! Did you miss my 12:17? I had a question for you. I already got the “jib” question answered…

By Bre

November 19, 2007 4:08 PM | Link to this

Wow Melo, I wish I had time to blog all day but the market is closed and I need to run to get some gifts.

However though you are right knowledge is key with Money. You can have it one day and gone the next. I’ve seen it happen to many. I have my Series 7, 63 and 65, currently doing pretty well with a Hedge Fund along with 4 years of Private Equity with a billion dollar Fund. Sometimes you really don’t know with whom you are blogging with, take it easy on calling people out. I may not know a whole bunch of theories but I know dollars and how to make them work for almost anyone. Because I’m sure I can walk circles over you when it comes to finance. Not only that I give back to my community by give free financial advise. I also do a welfare to work program to teach woman coming in the professional arena how to dress well and a decent budget when first starting out. I wish I had time to get you straight but I don’t. As my time is money.

By SexyLeggs

November 19, 2007 4:08 PM | Link to this

Off-topic, my boss has been out of town for a couple of days. He changed his flight and snuck back in 5 hours earlier. Wasn’t suppose to see him until tomorrow (puuds)!

By Blue_Kolla

November 19, 2007 4:09 PM | Link to this

Tazzee seriously, after you peep a woman’s physical, you get the ‘on paper’ details. You both ask questions like: are you married, any kids, where you work, etc. I’m not saying that’s the only reason you date someone but you get that information…

My bad, I didn’t get the whole of your meaning; you do have a valid point, and so, I must agree. And no, not about picking a fight at all.

By Clotheschic

November 19, 2007 4:10 PM | Link to this

I can’t believe how many people are justifying why this guy didn’t buy her a $2 Sprite. It wasn’t about the Sprite. It was about the offer. He followed her to the bar, had a conversation about her choice of beverage and then didn’t even offer to pay for it. A gentleman would have offered. He would have offered if she was a woman that he was trying to get to know. He would have offered if she was a co-worker he happened to have run into. That’s up there with opening a door for a lady or standing up to let her pass. I’m so tired of women setting the bar so low and then complaining about the caliber of men.

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

November 19, 2007 4:10 PM | Link to this

@Dan LOL! Your 4:04 proves my logic for even bringing that up. Looks like I might’a started something after all. LOL!

By Page1908

November 19, 2007 4:11 PM | Link to this

CTFU @ Blue re: Raqi/Mase and QC/Darrell! I remember when Raqi kept doing that ish, and people were like dang, get over it already!

LOL at people calling out each other’s real name.

LOL @ people using alter egos on an “anonymous” blog.

2 I am still waiting for you to send me the info on your book. mean mugging

SJ I thought u were not coming back to the blog.

By Tazzee

November 19, 2007 4:11 PM | Link to this

SJ3000 I think I posted something about a month ago and have been working on another post for the past month, LOL. I’m trying to do better ;-)

By Bre

November 19, 2007 4:12 PM | Link to this

BK What I was saying was those that made fun of me or would not date me due to the lack of a degree.(which is just a few) Now have one or more pieces of paper looking at me like what motiviated me all of a sudden to get on the paper chase. I just went about getting mine a different way at a different time.

I came up very poor beyond flipping poor I never make fun of just to make fun of.

I’ve been around the spot for a minute and I think you have read me enough to I hope have a better opinion of me than that.

But all is well.

Peace

By Staceye

November 19, 2007 4:12 PM | Link to this

Dan thank you…but I do not feel I need help. I feel fine with my decision. Although I am glad it helped you.

QC girl you are a mess! Don’t send him pictures of your dog if you have one!LOL

Jazzyone thanks…I am rather happy in my non-dating lifestyle. No do I occassionally hang out with a guy…yes! I just don’t get into the emotional/physical stuff.

Foots I posted the ones that I could post..which isn’t many! LOL

By For Real

November 19, 2007 4:13 PM | Link to this

What up 3Stacks I heard you died. (said in an old man voice) Is it me or does anyone else see it? 3Stacks comes back on the board and Vick goes to jail. huh, huh, anyone else

Word Man I don’t know what to say about your last few post. It just doesn’t seem natural that a person doesn’t get passionate about somethng they believe in. Hell even Gandi told aaa to shut the hell up and you can too.

Slim I agree with Phoots a degree shows a person’s dedcation and desire to complete goals. I don’t believe a degree means you are smarter but I do think women put too much emphasis on the degree when they have one. Oh and here is a wet-wipe, vasoline and baby powder. The way the poot smelled it had to come from your lower intestine.

For Real now off to practice having emotionalless sex with 2E’s.

By 2CPTG©

November 19, 2007 4:13 PM | Link to this

aha!!!!!!!!! Darrell got peeped to this blog by his next door neighbor, abc…..I thought the verbiage, and thought process was familiar……..j/k Darrell, I respect your individuality, kinfolk…..but you do make for some good jokes……keep doing your thang!

By m

November 19, 2007 4:13 PM | Link to this

Dan:

I have some issues with the South and certain Southern attitudes period. Even in the VA, because I am still in the South. But I will just have to deal with that until I leave the South. It is just how perception plays out that’s all. And, still the men I have shot it with in the VA ain’t from the South either. What I have heard about the ATL I listened to from various people when I lived there. I have not really heard much here, most people from the VA think the ATL is the place to be down under. And I did not mean to offend you and I apologize. I just got carried away making my point, and it shoul not have been at yur expense, intentionally or unintentionally, either way. That ain’t cool. Peace Brother!

By melo

November 19, 2007 4:14 PM | Link to this

If you can’t disagree with someone without involving personal or quasi-personal attacks, then physical reactions are warranted Dan, u are a johnny come lately on this, i noticed that streak in her/shim early mid morning when i referenced the DaBrat syndrome for calling me arsewipe.

By Dan

November 19, 2007 4:16 PM | Link to this

Shout out to Bre on the career (we should talk)

But you comment struck odd as you are not the only woman on here to take some measure of pleasure from people that may have jilted you in the past.

That said, could you really blame any of men for the same thing?

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 4:19 PM | Link to this

melo:

i called you an arsewipe because you attacked my sexuality and made nasty assumptions all because I make rational choices about intimate engagements. And then you attacked me for simply not being interested in dating. I think that you are the one with the issues. But hey I ain’t got tolive with you. Me entiendes

By Blue_Kolla

November 19, 2007 4:21 PM | Link to this

No one’s asking the brother to be argumetative, but instead have the gonads, backbone, and gumption to take a position, debate it objectively, and stand on it with some resolve; and not be talked down for the sake of keeping the peace - politicking if you will.

And I don’t think that’s too much to ask, from one man to another. Another point - women of the blog, let that man stand up and be a man. He doesn’t need yoll carrying his nutzack!

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

November 19, 2007 4:21 PM | Link to this

@Foots I just peeped your 12:17. Sorry about that, but I didn’t see it earlier. For what it’s worth, I disagree with binford’s “visual eyeing up” approach.

Again, the physical is an initial “trigger”, sure, but to be honest with you, my personal mindset is that the prettier the woman on the outside, the more concerned I am about what’s on the inside. Not to generalize, but that’s just me. I see it every Falcons home game at “Club Georgia Dome”. :-)

So, I’m asking the Lord to just send me an “average” looking woman that’s looking for an “average” looking brutha, because I’ll take a little humility and modesty over being sexy and “foine” any day. ;-)

By Tazzee

November 19, 2007 4:22 PM | Link to this

Blue_Kolla glad you’re not picking a fight with me. By the way, I was looking for you under the bridge Sunday.

By BLAT

November 19, 2007 4:22 PM | Link to this

So, then, Word, why would you ask for inclusion into a group you feel you have nothing in common with? You already knew our general slant on things, of course within the context of every man having his own opinion. And yet still, you did a whole lotta campaigning that day, even enlisting the help of the WLB, as if that would somehow help. Right now, DUDE, you sound typical of someone who’s been rejected and says, “well, I didn’t want it ANYWAY…”

Bottom line, my brutha, be YOU and do YOU. If you like it, I love it.

By Dan

November 19, 2007 4:25 PM | Link to this

I’ma say this and I’m gone for the day.

Darrell- I have no compunction with your politics, but to say you voted for Bush (first time on Carl Rove, second time on you), is just a baffling thought to me, esp. if you black.

M’K- No dis, it’s just that some of us have a line that we don’t like crossed. I didn’t expect you to know that, I was JS.

Staceye- Do you Ma. If you cool wit it, let that be it then. Just a friendly word of advice from a brother.

Tomorrow I actually have to do work so I may just be lurking, but everyone have a happy thanksgiving. Duece

By For Real

November 19, 2007 4:25 PM | Link to this

You know I really get tired of people not from Atlanta always talking about Atlanta but choose to live here. First of all, it is sooooo many freaking transplants here that most of the people that you are meeting are from up North. I mean is there anyone left in NY, NJ, Boston, Ohio, VA, NO, AL, and DC?

By Tazzee

November 19, 2007 4:26 PM | Link to this

Dan I think we all take some pleasure from proving folks wrong. Whether it be people of the opposite sex that rejected us in the past or those folks that said ‘you’ll never amount to anything’ when we were young. But I have to admit that I get tickled when men have the Mike Jones syndrome…

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 4:26 PM | Link to this

Staceye:

Follow what allows you to grow and experience yourself. All things come in time. Again, I have learned that is not so much what some else did to me emotionally that caused me to feel hurt, etc. It was the choices I made to be with someone who, quite obviously, did not have the ability to respond to what was in my emotional best interest. I own all of my own decisions, good or bad. I am responsible for my own emotional best interest. And it is also my responsibility to make the decisions to provide me with the opportunities to experience more of the emotionally positive and less of the negative. When it comes to what makes me happy-I am the one who is responsible for what I choose or choose not.

By Blue_Kolla

November 19, 2007 4:26 PM | Link to this

Bre I’ve been around the spot for a minute and I think you have read me enough to I hope have a better opinion of me than that.

You know what? You’re dead on right with that. I apologize.

By melo

November 19, 2007 4:27 PM | Link to this

Because I’m sure I can walk circles over you when it comes to finance I have my own level II CFA, so i aint doing badly either. The argument wasnt about u personally not having knwledge, it was on money vs education/knowledge/degrees. If u have have ur series 7,63 and 65 why were u posturing about ur friends educ as if u urself have no bookish knowledge? U just went a different route, not the degree route, so we good. Or i are u saying that to make urself feel good. Hope u mean it. The markets are closed and been watching them. By the way, iam an MBA,finance major.

By SeanJohnson3000

November 19, 2007 4:29 PM | Link to this

@ Page1980…The Black Album was suppose to be JayZ last…so I think I can leave two more times and still come back…what u think?

@ 4Real..whats the deal pimpin? i notice a lot of females have chocolate crumbs around their mouths….you musta been giving away black cake again…

By SlimOne

November 19, 2007 4:30 PM | Link to this

Funky Real So you think women with degrees put more emphasis on the counterpart having degrees than a man with a degree does?

Slim sitting in bath robe, houseshoes, listening to Alicia Keys burning an incense having flashbacks to the puff puff pass days

By Wise Diva

November 19, 2007 4:30 PM | Link to this

wow, today’s comments have been, what’s the word I am looking for….?

By QC

November 19, 2007 4:32 PM | Link to this

lol Hey Staceye

By Tazzee

November 19, 2007 4:32 PM | Link to this

Darrell “because I’ll take a little humility and modesty over being sexy and “foine” any day.” Don’t be fooled, there are women that have both.

Blue_Kolla OK, I’m going to stop defending Darrell…you’re right he is his own man.

By For Real

November 19, 2007 4:33 PM | Link to this

Darrell So, I’m asking the Lord to just send me an “average” looking woman that’s looking for an “average” looking brutha, because I’ll take a little humility and modesty over being sexy and “foine” any day. ;-)

Awwwwww Dayummm!!!! Come bruh that sounds like some My Name Is Luka I live on the second floor kinda ish.

BK You are right bruh, the ladies are defending. QC yeah I can understand that but as many these lady speak badly about men that express themselves the way Darrell does don’t understand.

Move to the left and cuff your hand under your knee *2E’s. Yeah that’s it. For Real starting to like emotionalless sex!*

By SlimOne

November 19, 2007 4:35 PM | Link to this

For Real You betta not been giving out my black cake…and where da h3ll is my dolphin?

By Blue_Kolla

November 19, 2007 4:37 PM | Link to this

Tazzee glad you’re not picking a fight with me. By the way, I was looking for you under the bridge Sunday.

Wasn’t there, but I’ll be sure to look for you the next time I go to the game. I’ll be the dude looking wayyyy out of place. LOL

Flip-Floppin’ Dude AKA Wordsmith AKA Darrell Seeumzayin…?

By M'Karyl

November 19, 2007 4:38 PM | Link to this

Darell:

Good luck on yur desire to have the most desired woman share your life you.

As far as the comment my personal mindset is that the prettier the woman on the outside, the more concerned I am about what’s on the inside. That has been part of my point today. I am, and alyways have been, an intellectual. I knit, sew, cook, design jewelry and there are lots of other interest as well. But because of how some men perceive my level of physical attractiveness, they throw that person I am from within right out the window, so to speak. It is assumed because I am deemed attractive that I am shallow, ditzy, simple-minded, etc. It seems as if they assume that my looks dictate my mind and my spirit. I am not talked to as a person, I am talked at as a face.

Maybe, just try to strike up a conversation with a sistah as person first, looks or no looks as the issue. Speak to the human identity within and if it is there she will respond.

By Gimme A Break

November 19, 2007 4:38 PM | Link to this

So, then, Word, why would you ask for inclusion into a group you feel you have nothing in common with? You already knew our general slant on things, of course within the context of every man having his own opinion. And yet still, you did a whole lotta campaigning that day, even enlisting the help of the WLB, as if that would somehow help. Right now, DUDE, you sound typical of someone who’s been rejected and says, “well, I didn’t want it ANYWAY…” correct me if I’m wrong but I was under the assumption that “MLB/WLB” was virtual entertainment, not a real bonafide group? And I was also under the assumption that Word was campaigning in jest? Am I wrong??

By Alvin

November 19, 2007 4:39 PM | Link to this

Bush is the greatest whatcamacallit ever!!!

I mean…Dude is even making a fool out of the rich white folks who vote for him…you can’t top that!!!

SJ while passing top shelf green’n’henny Sup!!

Bre double shot of scotch to you bay…the market was ugly’s momma today LOL

By For Real

November 19, 2007 4:41 PM | Link to this

Slim I know some women put more emphasis on degrees than men do.

For Real sits down next to Slim and offer her some Black Cake to cure her munchie.

By QC

November 19, 2007 4:42 PM | Link to this

Hey Page are you still adjusting to the “A?

By SexyLeggs

November 19, 2007 4:43 PM | Link to this

M’Kary, after reading all of your posts, I understand your growth process. I have no choice but respect anyone who keeps it real. You laid your defense down, plead your case, and walked away w/both guns smoking with your pride and sense of self in tact….well done!

By Blue_Kolla

November 19, 2007 4:46 PM | Link to this

For Real I mean is there anyone left in NY, NJ, Boston, Ohio, VA, NO, AL, and DC?

Yeap… too many. That’s why we’re crash landing into this joint.

By Awwwwwwwww...Dayum(from awwwwwwwdayumfromrightnow.com)

November 19, 2007 4:47 PM | Link to this

For Real dude, stop using my name in vain!!!

• Awwwwwwwwwww…Dayum

Darrell nice site…

QC, hey sis…

By For Real

November 19, 2007 4:47 PM | Link to this

M’Karyl: I knit, sew, cook, design jewelry and there are lots of other interest as well.

Dude: That’s interesting um, um, M’Karly! So, what are you wearing when you knit, sew, cook, and design jewelry?

M’Karyl now poking the hell out Dude with a knitting needle.

By SlimOne

November 19, 2007 4:51 PM | Link to this

Real what you been putting in this black cake…taste sort of fishy to me. You know you can’t reuse fish grease.

By Tazzee

November 19, 2007 4:54 PM | Link to this

Women do put more emphasis on degrees than men do - but that all goes back to the need for security and the man being the ‘provider’ deal.

Men put more emphasis on their mate being able to cook more than women do.

In each instance the person’s current state can be changed with time.

By SexyLeggs

November 19, 2007 4:58 PM | Link to this

Good night everyone…Be safe!

By BLAT

November 19, 2007 5:01 PM | Link to this

Whatup, Gimmeabreak!!!… Of course it’s virtual entertainment, but it is what it is… nothing should be taken seriously…. but he still ain’t MLB material, nor does he want to be.