By Blow Me

January 16, 2008 8:42 AM | Link to this

Passing out Starbucks coffee to all and Red Bulls!!

Thinking…Thinking…Thinking

By AmazonRed

January 16, 2008 8:45 AM | Link to this

Happy Hump Day. I also must add it’s been great seeing the blog open on time this week. :-)

This is probably one issue I’ve had more growing pains with then most.

I guess time is the best way to really know someone’s intentions. If they are just looking for the cut, they aren’t going to spend too much time wining and dining without any action. I have been guilty of going with the feelings and getting “caught up” too soon. As the years progress, I am better at relying more on actions than words.

By kinderbabe

January 16, 2008 8:48 AM | Link to this

good morning, ladies and gents.:)

Do you think it’s up to the woman to pace the courting process? Yes, I think it’s a women and men who are seriously looking for a mate to set the tone. at the end of the day, a person will do only what you allow. therefore, it’s each indidvidual’s responsibility to squash things early if there are signs of foul play.

If a guy’s intentions are determined early on, what does the woman do/say to change his plan of action, or should she? I don’t try to change one’s plans. I just shift directions. It’s easy for me to “check out” once I see things aren’t moving in my desired direction. I figure maybe in the future we’ll get on the same page, maybe not.

How do you detect a person’s intentions? Through their actions, words, a combination of both? What has worked for you to weed out the BS artists? Trust my instincts. Look for the signs but don’t overanalyze. Listen and watch. Whew, that analyzing gets me sometimes…lol. It’s quite a balancing act to look but not look too hard. Overall, listening to my gut has helped to weed the jerks.

By limegpuppy

January 16, 2008 9:11 AM | Link to this

Morning all.

If a guy’s intentions are determined early on, what does the woman do/say to change his plan of action, or should she?

I’ve never felt like I needed to change a mans course of action. If he wanted to sleep with me I can’t change that. It’s my choice to let him have me with his cup of coffee, not his!

Any man that I’ve met that was truly interested in getting to know me has had the opportunity to do so. If he’s only out to sex me then, his actions will speak clearer than anything his mouth says.

What has worked for you to weed out the BS artists? There were a few times where I felt like a guy was only interested trying to swap sex faces. In those cases I listened to my intuition, his words, and actions. Those types of guys fall off the map when they don’t get what they came for. No need to take action they weed themselves out.

By Blow Me

January 16, 2008 9:19 AM | Link to this

Yes I think it is up to the woman to pace the process. Are you kidding me???!??! If they had their way you would be BUCK NAKED on the first night! Lol! I think the guy does have categories. It’s truly up to the guy and the girl to determine if it’s more. If the man is in the stage of life where he can fully participate and engage in a relationship…That to me is numero uno in deciding on where it could possibly go. But I think a woman can change the course of action…as stated earlier if his mindset is ready for a relationship @ that time. If he wants to do his WHORISM…then you don’t stand a chance in becoming a solid fixture in his life, without the heartache and pain. It has a lot to do with how she presents herself. If she displays things that he is looking for and intrigues him. I think he then puts her into another catergory. She should be herself and have her best GAME FACE on! But I KNOW for a fact that men are very keen on a lot of things…the way you walk, talk, carry yourself, The smell of your hair., how you keep your house, Is she freaky, . He’s factoring all this in to see how good of a catch you are. If you not on your deem you are easily thrown into Friends (platonic-possible still hit-able), jumpoff, the string along friend-“good girl just not my type to be with but hit it from time to time” and wifey.

To me a person’s actions and words…But more so ACTION…That’s the level I am on now. Talk is cheap…Show me! You can say you Love me…a million times. But if your action is showing different then that’s what it is. I usually weed out BS with combination of both. If you action is not following what you are saying ….then NOW (@ this age)…I truly do know what time it is. ACTIONS speaks volumes!

I’ll be back with more later! Lol!

By Teresa

January 16, 2008 9:41 AM | Link to this

Why not let your intentions be known so the other person can make an educated decision on weather or not they want to deal with you

By SexyCool

January 16, 2008 9:47 AM | Link to this

how to weed out bs artists…sprinkle ‘em with some holy water and lay hands on the dizzle with some anointed oil…if they don’t shrivel up like the wicked witch of the west and if the dizzle remains upright…you’ve got a winner…

By Beautiful

January 16, 2008 9:50 AM | Link to this

How do you detect a person’s intentions?

with the type of questions he asks and don’t ask.

By Oscar

January 16, 2008 9:51 AM | Link to this

Teresa - what if you don’t know your intentions, yet, so you are basically waiting it out? Do women want to hear that? Ya’ll know how your egos are.

By Teresa

January 16, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this

oops..Whether

By limegpuppy

January 16, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this

LMAO at if they don’t shrivel up like the wicked witch of the west and if the dizzle remains upright…you’ve got a winner…

By SexyCool

January 16, 2008 9:57 AM | Link to this

seriously though…a few years back…after i had a few years experience at being 30-something…i began to tell individuals that i was meeting that i was dating with the intent of being in a serious relationship that was leading to marriage…and i would state that upfront…either an individual could deal or they couldn’t…what i learned was that a lot of guys would play the word game and ACK like it was okay and that they were down with my statement…but later on…their actions would tell the truth…

and how i weeded out the BS artists…i stayed true to myself and not take any BS…oftentimes…after a dude would do something completely crazy and then ACK like that ish was normal…i would ask them…”have other chicks let you get away with that mess? what kind of chicks have you been dating that this crap was okay?”

needless to say…bullsh!t can talk the talk…but it can’t walk the walk…

By Chink

January 16, 2008 9:58 AM | Link to this

Good Mornin,

While I do believe the woman can pace the relationship when it comes to sex …the man is the one who makes or breaks the relationship.

Meaning I expect the Man to direct the relationship and if its what I want too than fine if not I know I need to break it off. I not only expect but I make it clear the ball is in his court in this area.

Intentions can change but thats up to the individual.

I detect BS by words - when you first meet someone thats all they do is talk. I am not to keen in actions when I first meet someone even someone opening my door is suspect sometimes, because you want someone to be real not trying to get on your good side or bed side by doing nice things.

Happy Dating…

By Beautiful

January 16, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

Oscar what if you don’t know your intentions?

r u kiddin’ me!!!

By Wise Diva

January 16, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

alright, I completely forgot what I was going to type when I read Sexycool’s comment. LOL!! Hilarious…if only that could work…

By SexyCool

January 16, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this

oscar…i have had guys tell me that they were just going to play it by ear and see where it goes…it was up to me to decide whether or not i wanted to stick around for the ‘wait and see’…and that was determined by what you demonstrated to me through their level of interaction and interest…

if you are telling me that lets take it a step at a time because you want to take your time seriously getting to know me and seeing where it could lead..that’s one thing…

however…if you are feeding me a line so that you can put the p-dot-dot on layaway while you go out and play the field then…that ain’t cool and should easily be evident by what you do…

By BINFORD2K8

January 16, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this

It’d be fine to state your intentions in the beginning if you realize your intentions might change mid-stream.

I started seeing someone with the best intentions and then a couple of things happened that turned me off romantically to that person. While I tried to steer it in to a friendship (I thought the girl was a good person and wanted to be friends), she portrayed me as a user and playing with her emotions.

If I was blunt and told her what changed my mind, it would cause damage to her or sound like sour grapes.

So I accept being the “bad guy”.

By Beautiful

January 16, 2008 10:03 AM | Link to this

While I do believe the woman can pace the relationship when it comes to sex …the man is the one who makes or breaks the relationship.

co-sign.

By Raqi

January 16, 2008 10:05 AM | Link to this

A woman’s actions prompts a reaction from the men folk therefore placing her in the lead position of steering the joystick…I mean…reins of the relationship.

I am in such a wonderful mood this morning I started to be bad a just make a sideways comment pertaining the topic. But I will wait until later in the day to do that.

Good Morning Everyone.

By JustMe

January 16, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Everyone

I agree with the actions speaking volumes.

People can make their mouth say anything

If he’s talking about it, but not being about it, then chances are, he’s trying to run game!

By Cemeeli

January 16, 2008 10:09 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Gang!

Sexycool’s EARLY morning tip for how to weed out artist/ anointing oil! …funny…

BRB to comment.

By DreamsMaterialize

January 16, 2008 10:10 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Everyone A woman’s intentions can be put into two categories, BC (Before Committment) and AC (After Committment). BC intentions are usually easy to spot. Those would include being around for the money, being around because you have status, being around because you have access to certain networks of people, etc.

The AC intentions usually take time to see. All of a sudden she never liked the way you dressed and wants you to dress differently. Thinks you should act differently. Thinks you should associate with different people.

By Blow Me

January 16, 2008 10:12 AM | Link to this

Theresa Wow!! Yeah as if….That’s good idea. In a right world. lmao!!!

By Cemeeli

January 16, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

BINFORDK2K8 …may i ask & i’m going to ask anyway…

What happen that caused you to be turned off romantically about said person?

By SexyCool

January 16, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

dreams…sounds like you’ve been used by a few fake a ss, gold diggin’ chicks…

By pisces08

January 16, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this

Morning All. What can one gather from the question; Are you worthy of a partners committment?

By BINFORD2K8

January 16, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this

What happens in fight club stays in fight club. I mean, what if she is here under a trumped up name (we all know THAT couldn’t happen). :P

It was 3 strikes of things that were just real turn offs. I told my friends and they were all like “yea, we couldn’t roll with that either!”.

By no

January 16, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this

I think it is great to be up front. However, if a guy says that he is not ready for that, it doesn’t mean he won’t ever be ready. As a guy, I would not be offended by a woman telling me that she is seeking marriage. Nonetheless, she would need to understand that dating is indeed a process. I don’t believe that marriage is something you are ready for right away. Maybe you should word in a way that explains that you want to find a relationship that could potentially lead to something serious. The best relationship that I have ever had happened when I was not looking for or even wanting a relationship. But, the more time we spent together (stress free), the more she grew on me. So, slow down and get to know them. Yes, most men want sex. Most women want sex. Men will often go to more extremes and drop more morals to get it. So, in that respect, while you are thinking with your brain, we are thinking with other parts of our body. The easiest way to tell us no sex without telling us no sex is simply to not put either of us in the place where the temptation is there. At least, wait until the getting to know each other process is maturing and the “real” person is coming out.

By SexyLeggs

January 16, 2008 10:35 AM | Link to this

My posts are posting!

Good morning. …Talk is cheap…Show me! EXACTLY! To weed our as much BS as I possibly can when I really take to the field only means that I will have to trust my instincts.

By Beautiful

January 16, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this

pisces08 What can one gather from the question? what their wanting in the relationship as well. if he asks me about my boys, my future, what i’m looking for in a mate, then i’m all smiles. if he doesn’t ask any of the above in our first initial four hour conversation, i will probably be turned off.

Are you worthy of a partners committment? yes i am. lol.

By Cemeeli

January 16, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

BINFORD2K you’re right…& i can respect that? But I only asked b/c you stated that the said person was whole enough to be one of your good friends. Usually we consider our friends like-minded ppl. I know i do. But obviously for you she went left. O.K. got it!

By SexyLeggs

January 16, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

The easiest way to tell us no sex without telling us no sex is simply to not put either of us in the place where the temptation is there. ^5

By DreamsMaterialize

January 16, 2008 10:40 AM | Link to this

SexyCool Nah not used, cuz the gold diggers are usually BC, so they’re easy to spot.

Now, I have been fooled by some fakes before. They seem real cool and down to earth in the beginning, and then later on they’re saying how you should affiliate with certain people or be part of certain orginizations or go to church…

By Raqi

January 16, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this

Time will reveal the accurate intentions of an individual no matter what they may state in the beginning. They will tire of trying to keep up a charade and the true light will shine thru. That’s why you should take your time and let the true person reveal itself.

On the other hand I believe that one can act in a way to alter the intentions or desires of an individual. If not the intention all together but at least those intended for that prey.

By Victim of Crime

January 16, 2008 10:44 AM | Link to this

If I am at an ATM and someone comes at me holding a gun and wearing a mask, then yes, I can read their intentions.

By SexyLeggs

January 16, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this

I meant to say my posts AREN’T posting!

By alvin

January 16, 2008 10:47 AM | Link to this

The easiest way to tell us no sex without telling us no sex is simply to not put either of us in the place where the temptation is there.

Dude, women just feels men need to have more self control than that.

I honestly feel most wish more men were like there gay friends at times, so they can walk around half naked and not have dudes coming out of the wood works trying to holla.

By kinderbabe

January 16, 2008 10:48 AM | Link to this

pisces Are you worthy of a partners committment? Of course.:) and,if that’s something I have to ask myself then there’s no point of dating. When you date, (for me), it’s assumed that you’re in the right frame of mind to accept someone/something good in your life. We all know that’s not exactly true b/c people have their own agendas and reasons for dating. i guess if people mirrored what they actually want, there wouldn’t be any issues.

By M.

January 16, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this

The way I weed out the artists depends on a few factors. The first task is to size them up with my personal checklist. I mainly just want to see if they are even worth pursuing. I try to keep the conversation light, and as Chris Rock says, look for their representative. After all this goes on, I love to spring something on them or throw them a curve ball just to test their reaction. This will usually tell me everything I need to know. Also, living in Atlanta, I have learned to confidently cut my losses with women and move on.

By DreamsMaterialize

January 16, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this

Victom of Crime No need to READ the intentions of a person coming at you with a gun and mask because 99% of the time they will STATE their intentions by saying “gimme ya money”. lol

By BINFORD2K8

January 16, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this

You can be like-minded and get along swimmingly, but the romantic feelings may never be there for one person, or the other person (perhaps unwittingly) did something that killed all romantic notions you may have had.

Once feeling get involved - things change.

By M.

January 16, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this

The way I weed out the artists depends on a few factors. The first task is to size them up with my personal checklist. I mainly just want to see if they are even worth pursuing. I try to keep the conversation light, and as Chris Rock says, look for their representative. After all this goes on, I love to spring something on them or throw them a curve ball just to test their reaction. This will usually tell me everything I need to know. Also, living in Atlanta, I have learned to confidently cut my losses with women and move on.

By pisces08

January 16, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this

@kinderbabe. True, but there are a lot of unhealthy people out here looking for a healthy relationship, and unaware of what that looks like.

By limegpuppy

January 16, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this

The easiest way to tell us no sex without telling us no sex is simply to not put either of us in the place where the temptation is there.

I agree with you on this, very much on point.

• With that said, does that really change a persons intentions, just because you’re entertaining them in public places opposed to a more private intimate setting?*

By Miss Manners

January 16, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this

Do their actions line up with what they are saying? You can tell by what they say and don’t say in certain situations. It’s all about a matter of time and paying close attention. Dating should equal marriage. But many have become professional daters, creating haters and losing out on life with someone in a man’s view lose your wife.

By Wise Diva

January 16, 2008 11:05 AM | Link to this

Binford, no, & Dreams Materialize, I really appreciate the candor in your comments. This is the type of info from the male perspective that I think this forum really benefits from.

@pisces08, interesting question you asked! Hmm

By kinderbabe

January 16, 2008 11:06 AM | Link to this

pisces i agree. when i commented i meant that when people “are” what they want, it would cut down on the mess. like you said, there are a lot of nuts wanting someone who’s sane…lol. if they took an honest look at themselves before analyzing the potential of others, dating could be a lot simpler.

By alvin

January 16, 2008 11:06 AM | Link to this

*SexyLeggs/SexyCool/Cemeeli/Blow I can image y’all weeding dudes out with a weed eater and Glock 9 in hand…Belike:*

Die Mutha Mutha, Die!!

By Wise Diva

January 16, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this

@M, are they actually losses, though? If you enjoyed the person, took some good from the experience, isn’t it part of the process and journey? Or am I being too naive and idealistic?

By SexyLeggs

January 16, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this

No, it doesn’t change the person’s intentions limeg, but it does slow things down.

By Raqi

January 16, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this

Sometimes the place or position of to be tempted is not known. That would be never being alone with the individual because the more time you spend with someone the more the attraction to mate will be despite however much time you think you need to get to know some one. That is something that we cannot control. It’s in our nature.

You have to be strong. Hope for self control. I know easier said than done in some cases.

By Cemeeli

January 16, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this

lime

With that said, does that really change a persons intentions, just because you’re entertaining them in public places opposed to a more private intimate setting? IMO - Not at all…a person should be careful of there actions public or intimate will not change your temptation. Always be aware of the “type’ of company you keep.

By DreamsMaterialize

January 16, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this

Wise Diva Thanks, glad I can offer some insight into the male psyche. Can’t tell you all the secrets of the code though.
;-)

By John in Tampa, FLA

January 16, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this

Ladies: Know this, most guys are not good at reading subtle hints. Most of us need it spelled out in terms we can understand. Be specific, be direct, be clear…we aren’t good at reading minds!!! After all, we are men.

By Cemeeli

January 16, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this

Raqi…good point @ 11:09…

By Mahogany

January 16, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this

The thing about men is that as much as we fuss about them, we RARELY listen to them. Generally, they tell us the most important things about them in the first several conversations.

Men are usually pretty honest & upfront about their intentions, even when they’re not trying to be. We just need to stop ignoring what they’re saying and DOING.

OUR problem is that we often think that what they are saying is “for now” and that if we are sweet enough, sexy enough, good enough in bed, we can change them and MAKE them love us.

By Jazzyone

January 16, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this

Diva I would say you are in a healthy place mentally and when it comes to relationships if you can view them as part of the process and learning experiences. These things shape your boundaries of what you want in your relationships when the right one comes along. So good look..healthy indeed!

By alvin

January 16, 2008 11:32 AM | Link to this

Always be aware of the “type’ of company you keep.

And that, is the key.

By M.

January 16, 2008 11:33 AM | Link to this

@ Wise Diva

The experience is definitely priceless. You got to find out what you didn’t want and break away free and clear. You also learned about yourself too so it’s almost always a gain. I stand corrected wise :)

By BINFORD2K8

January 16, 2008 11:33 AM | Link to this

…putting on the gold star Diva gave me today!

@DIVA I agree 100% that every experience you have is part of the journey whether it be good or bad. Those things help an individual define what they need/want.

@John in Tampa Yea, subtlety doesn’t work in either direction. If you don’t state what you want, you usually won’t get it.

By John in Tampa, FLA

January 16, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this

Not to change the subject, but:

My condolences to the families and friends of the two murdered Dekalb County police officers. May God have mercy on their souls.

By limegpuppy

January 16, 2008 11:35 AM | Link to this

No matter how you entertain your company be it male or female some ppl are just hell bent on fuggin these days.

@ Cee True. My mother used to tell me that when I was a kid…same sayin still applies to me as an adult. Kept me out of a lot of mess!

By SexyLeggs

January 16, 2008 11:36 AM | Link to this

I shoot straight from the hip. I don’t drop subtle hints. I learned a long time ago that men can’t detect these hints so my intent is clearly stated!

By alvin

January 16, 2008 11:40 AM | Link to this

Mahogany Wow, great post!!

By PUT U ON GAME

January 16, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

**A lot of women will decide whether or not they should put energy into building a relationship with a man based on ATTRACTION.

Yes, attraction is important. But it can also be DANGEROUS.

When we feel a strong sense of attraction for someone, it can cause us to override our logic and ignore our instincts… leading us to overlook potential partner’s deadly faults that could spell trouble down the road.

If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a relationship that is dragging you down, this is probably why.**

By limegpuppy

January 16, 2008 11:50 AM | Link to this

Mahogany - excellent post couldn’t have said it better.

By Poppa Grande

January 16, 2008 11:54 AM | Link to this

Good morning to you, all.

I was just lurking. However, I had to give some props to Mahagony.

It was a well said statement.

By kinderbabe

January 16, 2008 11:55 AM | Link to this

mahogony girl, that’s true, true, true.:) spirit never strikes w/o warning. if it walks, talks and acts like a duck…be sure that it’s a duck.

hey alvin;)

By Wise Diva

January 16, 2008 12:02 PM | Link to this

That is SO true Mahogany, we (ladies) don’t always have accountability like we should, I know I have done that before: blame the guy, not seeing or admitting to what it is I practically dreamed up/imagined a guy to be saying/doing. Lessons learned, man!

By Mika

January 16, 2008 12:03 PM | Link to this

Hi everyone!

By J.a.T

January 16, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this

OUR problem is that we often think that what they are saying is “for now” and that if we are sweet enough, sexy enough, good enough in bed, we can change them and MAKE them love us.

This is so true! I can bear witness that no matter how on point you are, if a man isn’t feeling you, he’s not feeling you. In college, I had a guy who I saw a real future with. He would say stuff I wanted to hear, but his actions made him distant. The things he didn’t like, I attempted to change. And in the end, he married someone else a few months later. Just goes to show, you shouldn’t change for anyone but yourself and most certainly, your actions are a clear indication of your intentions.

By SexyLeggs

January 16, 2008 12:06 PM | Link to this

As you get older you realize that physical good looks is not all it’s cracked up to be. Yes, you should be attracted to the person but if it’s only his/her looks you’re attracted to then you’re DOOMED from the get go. A persons way, their beliefs, their respect for others, they not being in and out of jail all helps in the field of attraction (LOL).

By Beautiful

January 16, 2008 12:10 PM | Link to this

pisces08 u got mail!

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

January 16, 2008 12:11 PM | Link to this

Afternoon Everybody!!!

Mahogany great post!! I read yours as I was skimming thru and you said it all chica!!

I cant play today but I wanted to drop in and speak to everyone. I am off to the allergist….sounds like such fun right..

I will talk with you guys later!!

By I agree

January 16, 2008 12:21 PM | Link to this

* your actions are a clear indication of your intentions*

I agree!!! I mean I don’t have to tell a man I’m interested in settling down or not. My actions can do that…for example, if everytime the man I’m dating calls, I’m out at a club, gone on vacation, or just “kickin it” with the girls, then clearly I’m not looking for a serious relationship. I’m obviously too busy for anything serious. Now on the other hand, if the man I’m dating does call me and no matter what, I make time to at least talk to him and sound interested in what he talking about, even suggest things we can do together, that’s an idication I want something serious.

By Demi

January 16, 2008 12:28 PM | Link to this

Hey KB, I am so proud of myself…I am becoming a better parent, LOL

watch this

JustMe, while I would love to chill with you and ya folks this weekend at the Trap. Me and li’Demi are going to be spenting quaility time chasing pretty bouncing things this weekend.*

KB is handing Demi a teacher to parent beat down

Demi I meant bouncing pretty balls…That didn’t come out right…JustMe WAIT!!

JustMe now joins KB in the beat down of a Demi

LOL

By Rell

January 16, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this

@mahogany - good game lady

@mika…we need a sidebar lady..hit me casual2022@yahoo

By Willie Dynamite

January 16, 2008 12:33 PM | Link to this

Afternoon everyone, good read and good topic. **Mahoga

By 2CPTG©

January 16, 2008 12:39 PM | Link to this

hey y’all……..

By JustMe

January 16, 2008 12:40 PM | Link to this

Demi That’s too bad, now I’ll have to chat up a stranger all night….. oh well, I hope there are some interesting strangers in the hose that night.

I’ma let KB handle ya beat down, if I mess a round and break one of these long natural nails, I’ll have to scratch you with the jagged edges :-)

By Cemeeli

January 16, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this

Alvin/lime

I know how to keep temptation at bay because of that one line i keep close. Don’t wanna ever be caught slipping…unless I WANT too. And even at that “time” i can hear Jennie saying…ruuunnn…Forrest….runnnnnn! LOl…just keeping it light. :)

By Willie Dynamite

January 16, 2008 12:45 PM | Link to this

oops—anyway, Mahogany couldn’t have been said better, it’s just cool to hear that from a Woman.

Looks like the ladies are holding the blog down today for the most part. We Men are such simple creatures. I think Women already know Mens intentions and dating is only a result of how to deal with them.

By Jazzyone

January 16, 2008 12:51 PM | Link to this

^5 Alvin
*By alvin

January 16, 2008 11:32 AM | Link to this

Always be aware of the “type’ of company you keep.

And that, is the key*

GOod point or as my Mom and Dad say lay down with a puppy you will catch fleas..

Or play P*sy and you will get F*&Ked..LOL

By Buffalo Bill

January 16, 2008 12:51 PM | Link to this

I think that my intentions are pretty clear when I say the following:

It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again!!

That’s as straight forward as I get!!

By 2CPTG©

January 16, 2008 12:51 PM | Link to this

I hate that I don’t have anything pertinent to add to this discussion….

By Cemeeli

January 16, 2008 12:52 PM | Link to this

Hey 2C!

By BMA

January 16, 2008 12:53 PM | Link to this

mahogany and no I agree with both of you all completely. I have experienced some interesting situtations with men and I will admit that I am still learning. The key is, especially for women is to try and keep your heart out of it as much as possible. You have to learn how to pay attentions to the actions at all times. I have talked to a person who from the beginning basically told me what I needed to know. But, me being a woman and emotionally vulnerable at the time, I chose to go with my heart instead of following his lead. The bottomline is, if a man doesn’t go there, then you don’t go there! What he says has could be true, but if he doesn’t show you, then it doesn’t count. A man can date you and not love you or be in love with you. A man can love you and not be in love with you. A man can be in love with you and not date you. And a man can be in love with you, date you, and mistreat you. As women we need to listen to men, smart or dumb, and men should be more responsible for their actions. Stop trying to string along good women because of your inability to commit or your want to play the field. If we all play the field fair and on the defense, dating will be alot easier to navigate. When it’s meant to be, it will be regardless of actions or words. Our actions don’t always represent who we really are or our intentions. Timing means everything.

By "Longtime Lurker"

January 16, 2008 12:53 PM | Link to this

Interesting read…

@Wise Lurker Ya boy Die Young sounds like he is going to live up to his name, with his current approach.

All men want sex, esp. if the chick is fine, but I guess looking at my situation, when I was in my 20’s and even into my early 30’s, I was on the hunt like ya boy.

I would meet a young lady and immediately try to bed her. I was successful about 80 percent of the time, but after that, there was nothing there.

I guess as a man becomes more mature, he takes more time getting to know women vs. just trying to hook up with them. This seems to be the case with me at this point in my life.

The sex will come in time, but I think it is more important to know what waters you swimming in vs. just diving off the deep end.

I have extremely good relations with women and I think it is because I listen to them and get to know them on a personal and professional level and I never make it known in the beginning phase that I want to have sex with them, I just let it progress naturally.

In Atlanta, I have noticed that it is actually easier for me to shine, because so many other dudes are doing the same things and making the same mistakes! If I just sit back, be honest, be cool and not press an issue, 9 times outta 10 I will prevail with little to no work!

Cat’s gotta understand that when you have your own set of rules, that are totally different from the next man, it will throw a chick in a loop and make you stand out, especially if you have a gift of gab and a witty demeanor.

Cat’s need to “Man Up” in Atlanta and quit serving up trash to these sistah’s! Most dudes I see don’t have a clue, but chicks take what they give and don’t question it…amazing!

If I had to ask the average woman how many great men, not boys they know, they would hesitate and that is part of the problem!

I personally think that the women allow the men to be the way they are, so there is no need to change!

By Alvin

January 16, 2008 12:55 PM | Link to this

I agree that’s what I am talking about.

Dumbest question of the day…

Why is so difficult for some woman to leave an abusive relationship?

I have (had) a home girl, who is fine as hellz and has degrees out the ying-yang, but won’t leave her verbally abusive boyfriend fo shyt!!

I hang up on her crying behind in mid-sentence and deleted her number

By Beautiful

January 16, 2008 12:57 PM | Link to this

hi Wii Daddy!

By kinderbabe

January 16, 2008 12:58 PM | Link to this

justme/demi lol…not a teacher parent beatdown! that’s so not me…only if provoked…lol. demi that’s great that you’re spending time w/your little guy.:) have fun this weekend! justme how’s your foot? it was you that had the cast, right?

By Jazzyone

January 16, 2008 1:02 PM | Link to this

L.L Great post..missed you.

By Cemeeli

January 16, 2008 1:03 PM | Link to this

WillieD…with “simple” is it safe to say that most men DO NOT change their thoughts toward women even afer dating for a while? Going back to what Mahogany was stating about we can not change them and MAKE them love us.

By 2CPTG©

January 16, 2008 1:09 PM | Link to this

Hi Cemeelie, and Beautiful….ya doing ok today?

can I make my intentions known?

By Cemeeli

January 16, 2008 1:10 PM | Link to this

2C I’m sure you do…

By Blow Me

January 16, 2008 1:19 PM | Link to this

LONGTIME LURKER

Exactly post!! Bravo

ALVIN SHORT ANSWER.

Low sense of self. Low Self Esteem

By "Longtime Lurker"

January 16, 2008 1:21 PM | Link to this

Second point…

Women always control dating! 100 percent of what a man does in dating is based on the woman!

The problem is that very few women know how to effectively date! Dating is just that dating — A period to get to know one or more people, before you decide on one person for a long term commitment or permanent employment. Treat it like a job interview!

The problem with dating and women is that they lump all dudes in the same category and their approach is the same with most dudes!

Each dude is different and many women have not figured out that there is a 1rst gear, 2nd gear, 3rd gear, 4th gear and you need to know which gear to go into with which dude. Treat it like driving a stick shift car. You use certain gears to drive in certain situations.

Many women miss good dudes, because that dude does not come in the package that they have in their heads! Treat this situation like shopping for shoes and remember that every woman cannot have the same “5” dudes!

How many times have you went shopping for shoes and tried on a pair that were not your first pick, but fit better than your first pick! That is the situation with a good dude!

Dating is a weeding out process and should be treated as such! If you have 10 candidates that are good, go through the 1rst, 2nd and third rounds of interviews until you find the best person for your situation.

At the same time, that person is checking you out to see if you are the best person for their situation, so dating is definitely not designed to be one sided.

I feel that if you take an open minded approach to dating, it could work in your favor, but what I see on a daily basis is people who have unreal expectations or they are looking for a floor mat. 90 percent of what happens to you happens because of your choices, not what someone else did to you. 10 percent is purely coincidental.

By Ga. Man

January 16, 2008 1:28 PM | Link to this

Hello everyone…GaMan stops in to nod his Head at the fellas and give a non-church hug to all the ladies…

so whaaaatttts been going on?

By SlimOne

January 16, 2008 1:29 PM | Link to this

Demi When you said watch this to JustMe, for a second I thought you were Bishop E. Long (not Demi) LOL

Slim now digging her own grave but it too fuggin cold outside, so she freezes to deaf…yeah i said deaf

By Beautiful

January 16, 2008 1:38 PM | Link to this

Wii Daddy i’m doing wonderfully. thx!

By Blow Me

January 16, 2008 1:38 PM | Link to this

AGAIN HAT OFF TO LONGTIME LURKER You are so right with your post. So on point. I’m getting a totally different side of a p.o.v

By Beautiful

January 16, 2008 1:40 PM | Link to this

can I make my intentions known? please do. i know the ladies would love to know.

BigWords where u @?

By SlimOne

January 16, 2008 1:42 PM | Link to this

Longtime Lurker

Cat’s gotta understand that when you have your own set of rules, that are totally different from the next man, it will throw a chick in a loop and make you stand out, especially if you have a gift of gab and a witty demeanor

I must admit i’m a sucka for a guy with a good sense of humor.

Demi: Didn’t you tell me you like jokes?

Slim: Yea, I love a guy that can make me laugh.

Demi: well i got a joke for you.

Slim: ok, it betta not be corny either.

Demi clears his throat and proceeds

Demi: So why did the chicken cross the road?

Slim: Hmm..I don’t know, why?

Demi: To get to the other side silly

Slim laughing hysterically

Slim: by the way, did i ever show you how big the CT is?

Slim unzips pants, a brightly shinning light beams from the opening of her pants as if it was the holy grail….Demi passes the fyck out

By Rell

January 16, 2008 1:42 PM | Link to this

@slim one..i say that all the time…watch this watch this na…like eddie long…lol

By DreamsMaterialize

January 16, 2008 1:47 PM | Link to this

Blog Women From some of the posts it seems that lots of women fall into the trap of trying to change a man. So, I have a question…

When you date a guy, what are some things that you consider 1)changeable, 2)Can live with it as it is, or 3)Deal-breaker?

By QueDogTeaching

January 16, 2008 1:50 PM | Link to this

What up Blog Said while trying to speed blog for the first time in ’08.

On Topic To be honest most of the guys I hang around, and have known from my teenage years, to my now early 30’s, when they first walk up to you and say “What up, or hello, or hello beautiful, or shawty what yo name is.” They are saying that because you look good to them. That is called physical attraction, and only physical attraction. So at that point there is “no would not sleep with” category. So when you go out on that first date, or you talk for the first time on the phone the intention is physical. At that point you have to change that thought pattern, you have to prove yourself worthy to be more. And you do that many different ways.

This could have already been said, but like I said, I am trying to speed blog

By Tazzee

January 16, 2008 1:55 PM | Link to this

Afternoon folks!

I think I mentioned this last week, but lately every guy I’ve met has stated their intentions up front. One guy told me on the first date that he was looking for a wife and wanted to have a family. When I told him I had no plans to have children and he continued to ask me out, I was surprised. But he finally realized he was contradicting himself, so now I have a great friend.

I also make my intentions known up front - no casual dating. We date to get to know one another (I agree with LL that it is an interviewing process) to see if we’re ready for that exclusive commitment leading to marriage. I don’t bring up my abstinence until marriage position on the first date, but I make sure a guy knows my intentions early enough for him to make a sound decision about spending time with me.

Because of my abstinence, I let the guy totally drive the ship as it concerns us becoming exclusive. I give that guy time to determine if he’s ready to abstain until marriage. I tell him to get it out of his system if needed. Because we both are on the same path by the time we become exclusive (marriage) he will know that his abstaining is for a short time.

So while I effectively ‘control’ the dating in that I state my intentions, I let him make the decision to choose me or move on.

By Beautiful

January 16, 2008 2:04 PM | Link to this

Dreams as is. why? what attracted me to him was him being himself.

By 2CPTG©

January 16, 2008 2:06 PM | Link to this

Beautiful….I gotta whisper my intentions, I’on want e’rybody to know what I’m up to…..

By Cemeeli

January 16, 2008 2:06 PM | Link to this

Dreams 1st,lemme say i’ve never been in a ‘trap’ but i will answer your question.

When you date a guy, what are some things that you consider? start anew, is he an honest person, how does he deal with a struggle/hard situation, are old wounds healed, don’t expect a whole lot…and last but not least, search his heart b/c ….out of the heart flows the issues of life…

Dealbreakers: disrespects me, lies, cheating heart…theres more but i’d hate for that…

By Wise Diva

January 16, 2008 2:15 PM | Link to this

clothes/appearance can be modified, I have helped a lot of my guys in their image/wardrobe dept. - only if they asked though. I can live with a guy who is the “strong silent type” because I like to run my mouth, LOL. A deal breaker, hmm, I can’t take being yelled at, or a quick-tempered guy, that would require too much energy/patience than I am willing to give.

By melo

January 16, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this

If wome controlled the dating scenario like im reading on here, there would be no problem at all.In a majority of cases, men decide who they wanna be with.Most women will sex up the guy, hoping they become more attractive in his eyes and thus lead them to stay with her. But then again, if women were in control the way Tazzee is,they come out empty handed and lonely/alone.There are so many man who wil drop a women simply becoz they arent being sexed(it boggles my mind,but it happens)Women need to have some sort of union so they can have some bargain power and leverage.That way noone will give up puddy.Only then will women have the power in their hands. What power is that, when u can abstain, but take ur frustrations behind closed doors, on a rabbit machine.

By Blow Me

January 16, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this

DreamsMaterialize

1.) Things that are changeable for me are material things. Anything is changeable if the person wants to change. Ppl still do change throughout the entire relationship

2.) ?? Him watching football, him being messy. It’s alot of things I would not change about him. IF I fall in love I fell in LOVE for him. I can accept him FLAWS and ALL he’ll be doing the exact same for me as well.

3.) Drug problem, can not communicate, liars, woman beaters. No swagger or back bone, Dry sense of humor, too many kids, no job, no car, no ambition, disrespectful, A girlfriend, wife. Alcholic…no sense of self. Hanging with the HOMIES too much. THe list can go on!

By Shanell

January 16, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this

Dealbreakers -Never ‘likes’ or feels ‘comfortable’ around your friends or family. -Doesnt introduce you to his friends or family, but speaks fondly of them. -Mean to children and/or the elderly. -Small children (in general) dont like him. -Speaks about himself in the 3rd person. -Is never really remorseful, wrong and/or always has a ‘justification.’ -Will not be ‘respectfully’ affectionate in public places. -Cares more about what his friend/family with think than he cares about your feelings or the truth. -Doesnt like you to use his cell phone or computer. -Doesnt trust you. -Text message replace phone calls. -Tries to manipulate you with his actions. -Doesnt make an attempt to share or express any interest in your hobbies or favorite past times. -Doesnt make an attempt to involve you in any of his hobbies or past times. -Stops giving you trinkets of affection & taking you out. -Tries to make plans or dates w/you at the last minute. -Will not make ‘small’ sacrifies for your betterment (or just to make you happy) w/out gaining something in return. -Keeps score or is overly competative w/you. -New underwear, style of dress and/or gym memberships. -Makes major decisions w/out talking to you (sharing not asking permission). -Doesnt look or glance at you during sex.

By Alvin

January 16, 2008 2:18 PM | Link to this

I guess as a man becomes more mature, he takes more time getting to know women vs. just trying to hook up with them. This seems to be the case with me at this point in my life.

LL I am glad I am not the only dude who ever felt this way…At one point I thought something was wrong with me, LOL

By Beautiful

January 16, 2008 2:20 PM | Link to this

Dreams ooops my bad, i should finish. dealbreaker: if in a committed relationship, cheating. if married: none. changable: if our relationship is not 50/50, i will try to make it a equal partnership.

By Beautiful

January 16, 2008 2:28 PM | Link to this

Shanell omg. girl!

By "Longtime Lurker"

January 16, 2008 2:31 PM | Link to this

I love me some Stacey Dash, Sannah Latham and Nia Long, but if I had to wait 6 months on any of them chicks, I am outty!

Most I will wait on any chick I am really interested in = 3 mos.

A smash and grab = 1 week

What’s the deal with waiting anyway? We all adults! If my actions and my words line up, then that is a pretty good indication that I am fo-real.

If I am sporting you around my folks and talking about taking you on trips and such and “only” in special situations am I giving you a key to my place, then you should say this guy is coming with his “A” game and I need to go on and fork over the goods. Afterall, you are getting something out the deal too!

If I am treating you like a backup reserve then you might want to “safeguard” the goods for a minute

By Poppa Grande

January 16, 2008 2:33 PM | Link to this

@Alvin…I just think that it part of the maturation process in general for men.

I can say that there was a time in my life that I was like Simi (from Coming to America) and just wanted a female with a firm backside and breasts the size of casaba melons…lol

However, as I got older I became more like the Prince and wanted more than “just a beautiful fool”.

I just think that it is just the way that many guys mature.

By Lady J

January 16, 2008 2:33 PM | Link to this

Shanell, Great Post!

By "Longtime Lurker"

January 16, 2008 2:35 PM | Link to this

@Alvin Nah dude, you strait! Maturity will keep you out of unnecessary situations!

The main problem in Atlanta is that no one is from here and the scene here is some new ish to a lot of people and they go crazy with it.

The majority of folks here have never been exposed to a scene like Atlanta and many folk have missed their 20’s, some 30’s, because of kids and relationships and now they single trying to do ish that they could not do when they were married or involved. Call it the second beginning or Back for the First Time.

Atlanta is like a big candy store and folks want to eat up everything in the store!

I have traveled the world and spent time in just about every chocolate city there is, but nothing comes close to Atlanta, so with that said, you just have to treat dating like investing your money or shopping for a house or a car —- Stay within your means and read the fine print, examine the warning labels carefully!

Dating is a contact sport, so don’t get in the game unless you can take a blow.

By melo

January 16, 2008 2:35 PM | Link to this

Doesnt look or glance at you during sex. means u ugly…..to him.But he is a serial killer anyway,if all that u posted is true,so he is not good at evaluating beauty anyway,so why do u care!

By Kajuana

January 16, 2008 2:36 PM | Link to this

@Wise

What happened to Dyoung’s website???? I miss his writing. Tell him to make an appearance sometime. :)

By SittingPretty

January 16, 2008 2:38 PM | Link to this

Changeable: Experience/exposure….meaning it’s okay if you’ve never been out of the country, been horse back riding, tried sushi…etc (random examples). These are things we can experience together and maybe I can help you come to love. Can live with: If I’m seriously dating you, then I must be pretty happy with you the way you are…. Deal Breaker: A BLAME SHIFTER….always pointing the finger at someone else. If it’s your fault, be grown up enough to admit it. I’ll leave it at that as many have stated other obvious deal breakers.

By Shanell

January 16, 2008 2:38 PM | Link to this

@Beautiful

believe me, a weight has been lifted!

By SexyLeggs

January 16, 2008 2:38 PM | Link to this

So good to read you LongtimeLurker!

When you date a guy, what are some things that you consider 1)changeable, 2)Can live with it as it is, or 3)Deal-breaker?

By "Longtime Lurker"

January 16, 2008 2:38 PM | Link to this

The Real LL..Folks we have a bootleg copy on the blog!

2:31 was not me!

By Jazzyone

January 16, 2008 2:41 PM | Link to this

Things im open to changing if I had to although I tend to take them as they are if I want to keep them if not two pair of dueces holla. They are eating habbits, sleeping habbits, work o holics

Men are not science projects but deal breakers are: No integrity, no backbone, no financial saavy and relying on his mommy to direct him in that area, Cheaters, non communicators, a man with no identity no motivation, no friends and a dayum hobby ( so he can get lost when I need space as well) bad hygene, no communication skills no balls or lack of knowledge on how far to let em drag on the ground when necessary..

By Raqi

January 16, 2008 2:44 PM | Link to this

Intentions? Detecting an undeniable intention.

You get a phone call. (His end of the dialogue)

“Hey, you wanna meet me for lunch?”

“At McKendrick’s. You know, right there at the Crowne Plaza”

The intention is stated but not stated. He knows the woman on the other line knows clearly where the restaurant is because they have gone there more than a few times. The Crowne Plaza is his actual intention.

Hey 2CPTG I wish there was something we could talk about. I am in a fabulous mood today.

By 2CPTG©

January 16, 2008 2:44 PM | Link to this

“I love me some Stacey Dash, Sannah Latham and Nia Long, but if I had to wait 6 months on any of them chicks, I am outty!”

Are you reading this???? you know who you are….and you tombout 10 months! da fvck outta here!

By limegpuppy

January 16, 2008 2:46 PM | Link to this

Dayum I step away for a few hours to do some work and miss out on da good ish!

*@ LL - I like you post, great insight for many females. *

Shanell - good luck with those dealbreakers. LOL

By C tha 1

January 16, 2008 2:46 PM | Link to this

O.k., I got a question Shanell. And any lady is welcome to put there two cents into the matter. What’s the big deal with having access to a man’s cell phone and/or computer? Personally, I don’t have anything to hide but going into my property on a covert snooping mission will only get your feelings hurt in the end. Even if you’re not snooping, then why analyze my call history or computer history. To me it shows a general lack of respect for personal space and privacy. But if its your deal breaker, its your deal breaker.

By Wise Diva

January 16, 2008 2:48 PM | Link to this

Kajuana, I will tell him! I fuss at him all the time for abandoning his site because I am a huge fan of his writing, basically he’s a chump, LOL

By "Longtime Lurker"

January 16, 2008 2:49 PM | Link to this

The “holdout” is a game to these chicks. They tellin they girls, “Girl, Imma see how long this dude can wait” It’s a game to these broads!

Now on the other hand, dude has options on the side, while he waiting on ole girl to turn the corner.

Girl #1 thinks she is on top of her game, but dude is getting supply from Random broads,while girl #1 holds out for the big payday. Sounds like a vicious cycle to me bruh!

By SpiceCrimson

January 16, 2008 2:53 PM | Link to this

@LL Can you make up your mind????

It’s NOT a game to many of us out here who believe in waiting. OUR BODIES ARE NOT A F-ING GAME FIELD! They are ours, until we decide to share them with someone else. Please believe that there are many women out here (Myself OBVIOUSLY included) who believe that s3x is the strongest form of intimacy & that the emotions that are exchanged during sex are much too strong to be shared with just anyone flashing his wang-wang hey 3rd out in the street.

Now Being in ATL the sad part is is that there are too many women who associate being freaky with being a nasty a$$ freak. TRUST, they are NOT the same thing. I have had over 20 dates since January & I make it a POINT to let gents know that whilst I enjoy their company, until they truly become special enough to be MY MAN, the cookie jar is SLAMMED SHUT. Do I lose more potential suitors that way? OF COURSE, because MOST are not capable of appreciating my sexuality as a GIFT & not something that they are entitled to just because they paid for dinner.

TRUST, when we tell a dude that we are chaiste, until we meet someone on the same level intellectualy & spiritually & emotionally we KNOW that many will fall by the side of the road, but the truth is, what we have to share is just TOO important to let that stop us from finding or being found by the one we truly deserve.

By Beautiful

January 16, 2008 2:55 PM | Link to this

Personally, I don’t have anything to hide but going into my property on a covert snooping mission will only get your feelings hurt in the end.

is it just me or does this NOT make sense???

By limegpuppy

January 16, 2008 3:00 PM | Link to this

C tha 1 - To answer your question women who snoop around have trust issues rather that man has done something or not.

Me personally I don’t play with fire like that either I trust you or I don’t. I give the a man his space and expect the same in return. If there isn’t trust we have no relationship

By Cemeeli

January 16, 2008 3:00 PM | Link to this

C tha 1

By AmazonRed

January 16, 2008 3:02 PM | Link to this

Lurker - Great posts today, but women really aren’t holding out just to play games. There is a benefit to waiting and really getting to know a person. It’s really hard to unring that bell!

By Just Saying

January 16, 2008 3:02 PM | Link to this

And I Quote

By Habitual Line Stepper

January 10, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this

It’s NOT a game to many of us out here who believe in waiting. OUR BODIES ARE NOT A F-ING GAME FIELD! They are ours, until we decide to share them with someone else. Please believe that there are many women out here (Myself OBVIOUSLY included) who believe that s3x is the strongest form of intimacy & that the emotions that are exchanged during sex are much too strong to be shared with just anyone flashing his wang-wang hey 3rd out in the street.

Now Being in ATL the sad part is is that there are too many women who associate being freaky with being a nasty a$$ freak. TRUST, they are NOT the same thing. I have had over 20 dates since January & I make it a POINT to let gents know that whilst I enjoy their company, until they truly become special enough to be MY MAN, the cookie jar is SLAMMED SHUT. Do I lose more potential suitors that way? OF COURSE, because MOST are not capable of appreciating my sexuality as a GIFT & not something that they are entitled to just because they paid for dinner.

TRUST, when we tell a dude that we are chaiste, until we meet someone on the same level intellectualy & spiritually & emotionally we KNOW that many will fall by the side of the road, but the truth is, what we have to share is just TOO important to let that stop us from finding or being found by the one we truly deserve.

Different toilet, same ish! At least wait a few weeks to paste the same stuff.

By "Longtime Lurker"

January 16, 2008 3:03 PM | Link to this

@SpiceCrimson 2:31 and 2:49 are not me! Someone is going back and coping and pasting previous comments I made in today’s journal.

You can tell if it is me or not, by my flow with today’s convo.

Sorry, just like Atlanta,you have imposters lookin to be somethin they not!

By 2CPTG©

January 16, 2008 3:03 PM | Link to this

Raqi, I always got conversation for you, lil mama….shiiid, we can talk about paint dryin’ for all I care….

By Wise Diva

January 16, 2008 3:05 PM | Link to this

I think what you call a hold out is sometimes misconstrued as a game, when really some women want to know who they are dealing with. I think that guys who automatically view it as a control issue, should examine their motives. Would it bother you so much if you were truly planning on being around for the long-haul? That’s kind of what the topic is centered on, intentions are there, and we have to decipher what they are, while staying true to what we want. Whenever a woman decides to share her body, it should be something she is sure about. No guarantees of course, but no need in being reckless, and at the end of the day, we are responsible for our own choices.

By Shanell

January 16, 2008 3:05 PM | Link to this

@ C tha 1

I don’t understand…..If you don’t have anything to hide, than why would “snooping” result in hurt feelings on my end?

By Cemeeli

January 16, 2008 3:07 PM | Link to this

Poppa what it now! :) Simi!

By NOSTRESS

January 16, 2008 3:10 PM | Link to this

LL

honestly dude you said a whole lot without saying anything at all - cause really all you spoke of was silly people with simple minds and money and status don’t change any of it. If game really recognizes game and we all swear we got it we would peep the mentality and handle it accordingly.

if you can recognize where shorty head is at and you still try to front your way to the drawz then count the money and time spent as a business expense but don’t complain about it - you decided to play so that is on you homie.

if you fail to dig shorty out and she bolts to the more “attractive” (howeva that is defined) dude and give the drawz up on day one - there again business expense because if you recognize shorty’s mentality and you still tried to front your way to the drawz, hey some business deals fall through - you a business man you should know this. So don’t complain about it.

Even for the sucka dude - he gots to know the way he leads in is going to be what he falls on if he indeed wants to try to play that game. That ain’t a business expense that is I just bought the bridge.

Either way that is the functionality of the game and again if you can recognize it you should be able to handle it. But again don’t complain about it and if you choose to complain don’t play!

Game recognizes game, ha I beg to differ most days if so there wouldn’t be so many stories of how we keep gettin done up.

If you don’t feel me thats cool cause I ain’t nobody anyway

By limegpuppy

January 16, 2008 3:10 PM | Link to this

Women who choose to hold out on the goods, do so because 9 times out of 10, dudes is on some sex me up ish. It would be pointless to just go handing out coochie vouchers to any Joe Blow..wtf!

If ya looking for a jump off, then find one, but don’t be trippin because a decent sista don’t f**k at first glance. H3ll that ish is not my cup of tea. Get past the physical, it more to life than some skeet skeet action.

By Cemeeli

January 16, 2008 3:13 PM | Link to this

Hey 2C My paint is yellow but it dries like black. What do i do? Lol

…yea ive’ pretty much stated where i stand on the ?’s today…

By SeanJohnson3000

January 16, 2008 3:14 PM | Link to this

Sup Blog

cosingning LL’s post…

@Shanell…you got issues…you might wanna go back a few days a read she said post…she put laid down the blueprint..

By Chink

January 16, 2008 3:15 PM | Link to this

RFLMAO @ Just Saying

Boy oh Boy got to watch what you type in here ….

By DasV

January 16, 2008 3:16 PM | Link to this

LongL i wont argue that some gurls are control-freaks and make you mens wait as a game. but i put to you that some of us have a reasonable explanation for waiting and/or holding off. like i said yesterday, the incubation period for HIV is 3 mos. that is a reasonable amount of time to wait. if its longer there may be extenuating circumstances, like a personal commitment to celibacy or for spiritual purification or just to put some distance between a past mistake (which is good cause it ensures a clean slate, no residual) still i think any mature woman would be willing to negoitate the wait-time… thing to know is the ‘hold off’ time doesnt start till there is clear indication that there is interest and its evident that both parties are willing to explore the possiblity of an ‘us’… by accommodating and expressly working toward common ground. whew having said all that:

on topic

ego makes youngsters wonder if they can get some again and again , and then some more

we know we can have it any time, no question - our only concern: not be tore

defective genes make us want you, thrill to be with you and seek your company

no matter how you dog us, abuse and mistreat us - physica, mental or foul litany

the only control we have is at the start of the dance and our intelluct has you in a trance

when your nose is wide open, your lower member is wondering what it might be like

after that you control the where, the how, the when, the flow

what we are to each other, how often we speak, we dont only you know

By Wise Diva

January 16, 2008 3:17 PM | Link to this

alright, what’s REALLY going on today. Weird!

By DasV

January 16, 2008 3:18 PM | Link to this

justSayin wow.

By Got that?

January 16, 2008 3:18 PM | Link to this

Wise Diva, to your point about holding out. Holding out is fine, as long as both are holding out. I know of situations where the woman claimed she was holding out, but really, she was hooking up with one of her exes, all the while proclaiming that she was being celibate. The problem is, there are too many women lying about their intentions too. Saying one thing and doing something else. It’s not about one’s actions lining up with what one is saying. It’s about one’s actions lining up with what one is saying when no one is watching. That’s the true test of one’s character.

By Rell

January 16, 2008 3:19 PM | Link to this

WHAT IS ALL THIS SIMP TALK ON WOMEN RUNNING THINGS!!!…they dont run it WE DO….we seek they choose…but they have to be sought first in order to choose….WHY ARE THE BROTHERS CRYING ABOUT GETTING SOME CRABBY PATTY….that means you dont have enough to do….if you are just spitting to fun fluck..then you have to much time on your hands or your a young bull…WE NEED TO UPGRADE OUR MINDS AND GAME IN 2008…lets value ourselves and time more..STOP ALL THE WHINNING..she holding out because YOUR THIRSTY A SS is giving her the power to do so…SHE can see that all you want is the PATTY…so she is going to make you work for it…TRUMP THE SEX GAME..TRUMP THE WOMAN

By Chink

January 16, 2008 3:20 PM | Link to this

If you Look for something you will find it whether its really there or Not!

By 2CPTG©

January 16, 2008 3:20 PM | Link to this

it’s a struggle enough waitn’ on Jesus’ return, and you want me to wait on the kitty??? shyttin me!

Cemeelie…..boo, I may need to come see ‘bout that…what time is good for you?

By Alvin

January 16, 2008 3:21 PM | Link to this

Poppa/LL Cool.

You can tell women who are just playing game with their puddy

But most women don’t even pull that type of BS. After 2 or 3 months she is either hitting you, another dude, or she has let it be known a ring need to be on her Finger…LOL

By Staceye

January 16, 2008 3:22 PM | Link to this

Hey guys..I have been actually working today! LOL

Alvin why that girl will not leave the guy who is kicking her azz is one word….STUPIDITY! No way in hell would I let a guy call me out of my name….I may killhim in his sleep if he hot me! LOL

Dreams When you date a guy, what are some things that you consider 1)changeable, 2)Can live with it as it is, or 3)Deal-breaker

Changeable: His neatness (home…I’m a neat freak), his style of dress (not every guy has been given fashion sense, that is where my talent comes in).

Can Live With: he is not built like The Rock (but not fat to Snoop Dog boney), he is not as outgoing as I (I can be enough for the both of us), I prefer a guy with NO kids, but I may be able to get over it if he can make sure that it does not interfere with me.

Dealbreaker: Lying, Cheating,fronting, game playing, chronic bad breath or BO, disease, Bi-sexuality,insulting my intelligence,always trying to get the puddy, listening…but not hearing me,others TBD

2C you talking about me? LOL

**

By JustMe

January 16, 2008 3:22 PM | Link to this

SpiceCrimson ^5 My sister!

By Beautiful

January 16, 2008 3:23 PM | Link to this

WHAT IS ALL THIS SIMP TALK ON WOMEN RUNNING THINGS!!!…

y’all we should have seen this coming! lmao.

By makeupyourminds

January 16, 2008 3:24 PM | Link to this

@ LL/imposter

Sometimes men can be contradictory. Okay you say why hold out or wait? But in the same breath soooo many men have posted giving advice on how women should just give the goods like she’s an all you can eat buffet. Rock and a hardplace. If we try to be women about ours and make responsible decisions (and I co-sign Wise that it’s not all about playing games to withhold but trying to make the right decision) then ain’t nobody got time to wait and will bounce if it’s not given quick enough. On the other hand give it up quickly and (as evident from some the the men that posts) your stock drops, you’re moved to tier 4 and quickly turned around as a jump off. Not to mention, she that yielded so quickly may have been a possibility but no longer and reconsidered less.

As evidenced in the “imposter’s” email: If I am treating you like a backup reserve then you might want to “safeguard” the goods for a minute

Okay if you’re always preaching to women advice and how to carry themselves and to really pay attention to the knowledge dropped by some the MLB, why in the heck would you turn around and treat a woman as such?!

By Wise Diva

January 16, 2008 3:24 PM | Link to this

Got that, I completely agree, women certainly are shady in that way sometimes.

By C tha 1

January 16, 2008 3:27 PM | Link to this

Shanell I don’t have anything to hide because I am about one of the most shameless dudes you’d meet. For example, if a chic saw a I visited a couple of porn sites on my computer, I’m not going to apologize for it. It’s not any snuff material or kiddie porn or anything remotely close to that so what’s the big deal. Also, if my call history is examined and she found another chic’s number in my phone guess what … there are plenty of chics numbers in my phone. Sometimes being nosy or over analyzing something simple leads to confusion and hurt feelings.

By C tha 1

January 16, 2008 3:27 PM | Link to this

Shanell I don’t have anything to hide because I am about one of the most shameless dudes you’d meet. For example, if a chic saw a I visited a couple of porn sites on my computer, I’m not going to apologize for it. It’s not any snuff material or kiddie porn or anything remotely close to that so what’s the big deal. Also, if my call history is examined and she found another chic’s number in my phone guess what … there are plenty of chics numbers in my phone. Sometimes being nosy or over analyzing something simple leads to confusion and hurt feelings.

By Beautiful

January 16, 2008 3:28 PM | Link to this

Rell hug

By Jazzyone

January 16, 2008 3:28 PM | Link to this

oh here we go…

By Staceye

January 16, 2008 3:29 PM | Link to this

LL Thank you for clarifying that…I tought I was going nuts. I thought I was having deja ‘vu. I knew had I had read that before. LOL

Rell sorry boo…but you men do NOT run this. Woman cn go without sex. Its you men who make it so important…”I gots needs woman. If I can’t get it frrm you I will get it from somebody else”! Now if sex wasn’t that important then men would not be the Puddy Detectives or the Puddy Strays (the strays who runs from house to house until someone decides to feed them). They would simply go on with life with the thought of, “if it happens, it happens. But if not…ohthe hell well. Life goes on and there are more important things to worry about”!

By X Factor

January 16, 2008 3:31 PM | Link to this

#1 dealbreaker…..calls women females I notice when men use that word they usually have negative feelings about women in general.

By Poppa Grande

January 16, 2008 3:31 PM | Link to this

Cee Sorry I am taken. I’ve been married for 8 years.

I played the field, sowed my royal oats, whatever other overused saying that you want to insert.

I’ve never had any problems figuring out a females intentions. I played football professionally and there were plenty of gold diggers that would make themselves known pretty early in the process. Many were like Wise Diva and like to talk. Usually they would say something that they probably didn’t realized that they told me.

During my first regular job at a firm in Atlanta called King & Spalding, I had a female associate attorney say the following words to me when we first met “I am gonna f&*k you.” It was quite odd, but there was no confusion…lol

However, when I was ready to accept application of the wifey position in my life, I dated without expectation and she appeared.

Oddly enough, we met at an 8-minute dating event. We met on our on roughly a week after that and the relationship went from there

By Rell

January 16, 2008 3:34 PM | Link to this

@beautiful…ok i must be off your christmas card list now

By Cemeeli

January 16, 2008 3:37 PM | Link to this

this brotha right here is on some mo stuff!!!

Rell, Go Rell, Rell2K, Mr. No Simpin’

shhshhuuuush!

By For Real

January 16, 2008 3:38 PM | Link to this

What up Blog Fam!

Lets see what the haps today:

PK You have learned your lesson huh? Good for you. I hope there was no hard feelings from yesterday. Here take this Black Cake as a peace offering.

mahogany You were on point with your comment. Do you like dolphins?

Slim I got 4 pair of shades on and a new tube of KY lip balm. It tinggle when you blow on it.

SpiceCrimson Can you define “special enough”? Do you appreciate a man’s sexuality as a GIFT and not an entitlement? So what would you do when you meet a dude on your level (intellectualy & spiritually & emotionally)? Where is it written that we are deserving of anything?

By Wise Diva

January 16, 2008 3:38 PM | Link to this

Seriously, if you focus on the “who has the power” who runs things angle? ummm You are SO not a good candidate for a healthy relationship - power struggles, and who controls what, that just makes for a wildly volatile situation, and then nobody will ever get laid - it’s lose lose, man.

Find common ground, have mutual respect, being as honest as you can - it’s not impossible, you just need the courage to do it and the right person to do it with (on the same page)

By Ain'tThatABitch

January 16, 2008 3:39 PM | Link to this

How about this………………I called in a tip on a possible “suspect” in the Dekalb officers killings, who I know (not 100% though) is probably not really a suspect in this case, but who deserves to be locked up because he crossed the wrong person!!!!!!!!!!!!! ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned (and hell no I’ve never had sex with him). I hope he’s “dirty” when they catch up to him!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Men, watch out when you’re lying and running game on women, everybody’s not down with that!!! Word to the wise…………it’s best to be honest about your intentions, rather than lying to attempt to get what you want……..think of it this way, there are plenty of women out there who will be down with it if you’re honest, she just may not be the nicest/prettiest/finest/smartest, but she’ll give it up quickly (not saying this is always the case, though). Peace!

Oh, and y’all can rip me all you want, I won’t be reading the responses, as I don’t care what you all think.

By "Longtime Lurker"

January 16, 2008 3:40 PM | Link to this

@Wise Lurker Even though your logic in your 3:05 makes sense, the perception can be easily misinterpreted for a males perspective.

What you have to realize is women and men think totally different and me think in black and white and women think in red, blue and green. Women apply emotion 90 percent of the time in their thinking process and decision making and men do not not.

What does that mean??? Women are more analytical than men are by nature and if you don’t clearly communicate to a man what your intentions and expectations are, both of you will clearly be traveling down two different roads!

This happens more often than you think!

The biggest problem as a man I have experienced and seen in situations with my friends is that women are afraid to sit down and discuss a game plan with someone that they are serious about dating (the why’s and the why not’s).

Scenario: I meet Linda and after a few convo’s over a period off time, we decide to actively date with long term intentions.

Once that has been established, we should sit down and craft out a strategy that is conducive to both of us! Here are my thoughts, ideas and feelings and then she says here are my thoughts, ideas and feelings, the two sides should always line up!

Once that is mapped out, then we follow the course with certain check points to make sure we are still on the same path through out the first year, this is critical!

If I am casually dating, then I am going to do a lot of the same things I would do in a more stable dating situation, but adjust my game plan to fit who ever I was seeing at the time. Scenario: I meet Cheryl and we kickin it, but not in a relationship.

I tell her that I am interested in her, but we have no commitment and we will take things week by week. She tells me if she is cool with that or not. If that works for both, then we move forward and it becomes a week by week basis, with no expectations. Call it a probationary period.

As we progress week by week, we have more conversations and we learn more about each other. Sex is an option at this point, but should not be a priority!

Ladies, during this time, you should observe and listen more than you talk! Women have a habit of not listening to men and often try to manipulate a situation for their gain. If you would simply relax, sit back and learn and observe, you would learn a lot about that dude in the first few weeks.

Certain questions do not need to be asked, if you do your home work. Most dudes will communicate the most in the first 90 days. If you cut him off, don’t listen to him or treat his words as rhetoric, he will start to shut down and loose interest in you or demote you! Men have to feel that you value their thoughts, feelings and opinions.

The number one reason relations fail is because we do not do enough research on the front end!

The first month is the most critical period of dating.

By Rell

January 16, 2008 3:41 PM | Link to this

Woman cn go without sex. Its you men who make it so important…”

^^ THE DEVIL IS A LIE

By Cemeeli

January 16, 2008 3:42 PM | Link to this

Well 2 i was thinking maybe about pickin up a new color and i’ll let you know when i’m ready to apply.

paint can be used o a # of thgs right?

By Beautiful

January 16, 2008 3:44 PM | Link to this

Rell not at all sweetie. but everytime i go to your myspace page, a virus wants to attack me. what’s up with that? lol. it’s been going on for awhile now. do us a favor and delete your page and start over.

By 2CPTG©

January 16, 2008 3:45 PM | Link to this

Aintthatabitch….yes, you sure are!

By Wise Diva

January 16, 2008 3:45 PM | Link to this

ahh geez, proof positive that FEMALES can be so effin clueless. ATAB, Karma is a bi*ch and she has your address, sweetie.

next time you put ALL that energy into plotting revenge, how about you work on a bit of self-reflection and find out why you are drawn to the trifling type. Connect the dots, what is the common denominator? eyeroll

By Cemeeli

January 16, 2008 3:45 PM | Link to this

…bless his heart…

Poppa babay i wasnt’ commin at cha sideways. Please know that i made the comment b/c you refered to Simi from “CTA” which is relativley close to Cemeeli. LOL!

By BETANU

January 16, 2008 3:48 PM | Link to this

To be honest most of the guys I hang around, and have known from my teenage years, to my now early 30’s, when they first walk up to you and say “What up, or hello, or hello beautiful, or shawty what yo name is.” They are saying that because you look good to them. That is called physical attraction, and only physical attraction.

^^^@Quedog Puzzy has no name so that logic is moot.

By Rell

January 16, 2008 3:50 PM | Link to this

@CEM…why do i have to be on something when i actually think that grown a* men need something to do beside worrying about banging everything moving or worrying about what a women tells you…versus you being a man and showing her that you qualify for her attention…again you mofo need to open your minds…seriously

By 2CPTG©

January 16, 2008 3:50 PM | Link to this

Cemeelie, why did that post look like something you’d text a person…shorthand, and then you gotta try to decipher that shyt…..gal, let’s just run up to home depot, and go back to the house and get messy!

By mickiedee

January 16, 2008 3:52 PM | Link to this

* THANK YOU X FACTOR * I have been reading this blog since the beginning and that whole “female” thing has always rubbed me the wrong way.

By DreamsMaterialize

January 16, 2008 3:54 PM | Link to this

Ain’tThatABitch Just dirty. Maybe WiseDiva can trace the email address from your post or the IP address from the computer you’re using so you can be reported to the Dekalb Police for falsely accusing someone and intentionally drawing investigators away from other more credible leads. While you’re playing games, the children of those men no longer have fathers.

By DasV

January 16, 2008 3:56 PM | Link to this

Rell see, that is the main problem right there… your whole post is my case-in-point. to you its just patty or kitty so derogatory expression for reason we exist (to procreate). maybe if you start looking at more than that and actual saw us for the strong, proud, intelligent, “can do everything with nothing AND with a smile” sistas that we are…. you would see that your ‘wait’ makes for a huge return, you know like investing in bonds.

By melo

January 16, 2008 3:57 PM | Link to this

seen in situations with my friends is that women are afraid to sit down and discuss a game plan with someone that they are serious about dating (the why’s and the why not’s). shame…this is designer dating which will take u nowhere.This really looks depressing.omg!! Spontanity(sp) is whats required.Go with the flow,if feelings are there,u see urself holding hands everyday.

By Staceye

January 16, 2008 3:57 PM | Link to this

For the record…I am NOT posting as Ain’t That A B!tch!!!* LOL But we could be related!

Although…I am not mad at the revenge! LOL But on a serious note that could take the police’s focus off the really murderers and that I am mad at!

Rell So you’re a Lie? LOL

**

By Alvin

January 16, 2008 3:57 PM | Link to this

Staceye/Blow To be honest, she is one of the strongest woman I know. I’ve seen her cut down men left’n’right over the smallest things. Yeah she’s that Bish Yep, I was proud of her…then.

Can you imagine how hurt I am to hear her crying on the phone.

Anyway, her brother’n’crew are on their way to see what’s up on her end.

By For Real

January 16, 2008 3:57 PM | Link to this

PK While I understand your point in principal but anytime two people or two animals are involved there must be a leader. Leadership can either be taken or it can be conceded but one or the other must take place in order to have a successful partnership.

For Real now pulling 2E’s bra strap for her 3:29 comment

By Raqi

January 16, 2008 3:58 PM | Link to this

2CPTG Do you think God installed Adam’s urgent desire for sex when he put him to sleep to create Eve? Or do you suppose his “loneliness” that God saw in him was a result of that desire already being there?

By Mahogany

January 16, 2008 3:59 PM | Link to this

@For Real dolphins? ummmmm..sure, they’re sweet.

By no, DisIsABeoytch

January 16, 2008 4:01 PM | Link to this

Ain’tThatABitch hypersnap’d your post and faxed to a friend at the good ole Dekalb PD along with a note that included AJC’s tech dept # and when the air clears enough to handle such nonsense, it will be. Handled. how you like dem apples?

By Blow Me

January 16, 2008 4:01 PM | Link to this

Rell What is wrong with you? I think you can get checks for the things you say. You have to be officially retarded!! I dont’ have a “crabby” patty. Man up! And women can go without…..All the time!

LL Yeah thats pretty funny someone is being an imposter!! lol!

By Cemeeli

January 16, 2008 4:03 PM | Link to this

Not Simpin’/Rell …see NOW you sound like you taking the HVAC pipe away from ya mouth!

…grown a men need something to do beside worrying about banging everything moving or worrying about what a women tells you…versus you being a man and showing her that you qualify for her attention…*

that first post was a something AND you was SCREAMING!!!

By Poppa Grande

January 16, 2008 4:04 PM | Link to this

Cee My bad..lol.

Once again another example why I am so against text messaging. It leaves so much out of the equation, and leaves too much for interpretation of the reader.

Once again my apologies..lol.

By Shanell

January 16, 2008 4:05 PM | Link to this

X factor, I don’t care for it either but I think it depends on demographics. Most dudes down south say that ish.

By For Real

January 16, 2008 4:05 PM | Link to this

Aintthatabitch

Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity. – Martin Luther King

It is impossible to correct problems through disobedience to God. Sin leads to sins, and those sins multiply in the generations to come. – A Christian

The only people to get even with are those who have helped you. -Anonymous

Good and evil do not befall men without reason. Heaven sends them happiness or misery according to their conduct. - Confucius

You can’t hold a man down without staying down with him.” —Booker T. Washington

By Cemeeli

January 16, 2008 4:06 PM | Link to this

Staceye you come to far for that ATB crap! It’ ‘08 chica …move forward…

By AmazonRed

January 16, 2008 4:07 PM | Link to this

Daaaayum, WiseDiva getting gully up in here. LOL

By Teresa

January 16, 2008 4:07 PM | Link to this

@SlimOne

January 16, 2008 1:29 PM | Link to this

Demi When you said watch this to JustMe, for a second I thought you were Bishop E. Long (not Demi) LOL

THIS IS MADDDDDD FUNNY!!!!! AND SOOOOOO TRUUEEEEEEEE

By DasV

January 16, 2008 4:08 PM | Link to this

Blow you need to speak for yourself with all this women can go without talk.

By Blow Me

January 16, 2008 4:12 PM | Link to this

Wowzer @ no, DisIsABeoytch ….that was funny!! That is messed up! But yet so funny!! LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Yeah we shall see if AJC techs can get off thier lazy bums to even do anything! I know what’s going on over there as a former employee…They can even do simpler task…such as opening this BLOG on time! lmaoooooooo

By Blow Me

January 16, 2008 4:12 PM | Link to this

Wowzer @ no,DisIsABeoytch ….that was funny!! That is messed up! But yet so funny!! LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Yeah we shall see if AJC techs can get off thier lazy bums to even do anything! I know what’s going on over there as a former employee…They can even do simpler task…such as opening this BLOG on time! lmaoooooooo

By Rell

January 16, 2008 4:13 PM | Link to this

@dasv…?????..i agree waiting is worth it..men find you something to do is what i am saying…ok the terms i use throw off the whole message because i dont say Strong sista and all that good stuff..and i see all those wonderful things said about men..”sperm donor” “deadbeat” sorry azz…and the list goes on…but i can still find the meaning thru all that….you folks are extra sensitive

@staceye…lol…so is that what you think

By For Real

January 16, 2008 4:13 PM | Link to this

Raqi Yes he did. That why the penis has more super sensitative nerve ending than any other appendage on the male body.

Mahogany Yes, yes the dolpin is sweet. Are you a native Atlantan?

Alvin I never could understand why women are soooooo hard on other women that are in abusive relationship. They all ways spout off about what they will do until they feel the true power of a punch. See a man has been in fights and understand the power of a punch from being on both ends but women can only guest what it feels like and they usually guess wrong. That ish hurt like hell!

By Pocahontas

January 16, 2008 4:14 PM | Link to this

Do you believe that there are men out there that would actually prefer a no-fuss type chick that doesn’t take an hour getting ready, wears no makeup or perfume, slaps her hair back in a pony tail and isn’t a “girly girl”? Do men REALLY want a woman that can walk out the door without makeup and all the other props (cute outfit, high heels, fake eyelashes) or for his woman to be au naturelle and more laid back? I am a 100% “girly girl” whom takes her precious time getting ready when leaving the house…I almost can’t help it!! - but I LOVE IT! Most of the men that I run into really seem to appreciate the fact that I take extra time out to present myself very well. I’m just wondering if there are men that are really turned off by a woman who is high maintence when it comes to her appearance.

Most low-maintenance women are slim, have clear skin, straight teeth, fit bodies They don’t need any extras

By Raqi

January 16, 2008 4:15 PM | Link to this

Any and everybody can go without sex. It’s the “for how long” that is the question.

By C tha 1

January 16, 2008 4:15 PM | Link to this

O.k. what’s wrong with a dude referring to women as female!? Honestly, it aint that deep.

By Rell

January 16, 2008 4:16 PM | Link to this

@dasV….lol…@4:08

By Blow Me

January 16, 2008 4:17 PM | Link to this

DaSV Hey I am just saying most women don’t want to get unnecessary high mileage (as Rell says) on the “Crabby Patty”! Also I didn’t say it was fun.

By 2CPTG©

January 16, 2008 4:17 PM | Link to this

Nice one, Raqi….per my studies, and what I’ve deduced from it all, is that his loneliness was for companionship, as he saw the animals with, while he was without; I don’t think it became “perverted” til after the sin - of all places, why cover the genitalia - as GOD asked them, who told you, you were naked…and thus, one of Eve’s punishments was that her “desire” shall be unto her husband….which tells me that lust was a byproduct of the sin….

By Cemeeli

January 16, 2008 4:17 PM | Link to this

Poppa we are cool my brother. ^5

2C I’m speechless…:).

DasV okay! I’m ova here like… HOW LONG?

By For Real

January 16, 2008 4:22 PM | Link to this

I’m just wondering if there are men that are really turned off by a woman who is high maintence when it comes to her appearance.

HELLZ YES!!!

By Wise Diva

January 16, 2008 4:24 PM | Link to this

Pocahantas, your comment was so off topic, i am wondering if you were reading a previous entry/post and your comment posted on today’s

or did I miss a sideline conversation somewhere?

AmazonRed, LOL, that was gully? Oh, I have been low key on here lately, because back in the day I was called jazzymouth, LOL. I can verbal spar with the best of them, especially Longtime Lurker.

GOod to read you today, LL, I actually agree with your last comment!

By Got that?

January 16, 2008 4:24 PM | Link to this

Pocahontas, you have to strike a balance between enough and too much. I don’t want a woman to come out looking all top notch and then, when you see what she looks like naturally she looks like a troll’s evil twin. I have no qualms in running from that. If you need to apply a little makeup, do it. Don’t paint yourself a new face, because when you take it off, your man might take off.

By SexyLeggs

January 16, 2008 4:24 PM | Link to this

Mahogany, I started to warn you about the dolphin but got called away from my desk…be careful girl, ForReal is circuling (LOL).

By BLACKHEIRESS

January 16, 2008 4:25 PM | Link to this

**The brownstone the Cosby’s lived in was nice but moderate - it was small in comparison to what the people of high black society have - think Dynasty. I think RR wanted a poll to see what was more realistic but in the other thread we were explaining what is more realistic of the Old Guard Families. There are mansions owned by blacks in Weschester County NY, CT, and out in the Hamptons and Long Island. Most have second homes in Martha’s Vineyards. My family has Soho Property - meat packing district. So although it seems like its not a big deal it is. Because you aren’t familiar with it does not mean it can’t exist. It does and we should be proud. Take this knowledge and pass it on to other black americans you know. It’s not a bad thing

By DasV

January 16, 2008 4:25 PM | Link to this

Rell oooh,OK. i see: you dumbing down for the masses. but just a suggestion… how ‘bout you dont?? i mean you dont see me comin up in here talkin all loud, sayin nothing, laughin hard at what aint funny, poppin gum and shyt and i still say my peace, self-respect intact. can you say the same? i know you are an intelligent brutha….. speak to it.

By DreamsMaterialize

January 16, 2008 4:25 PM | Link to this

Most low-maintenance women are slim, have clear skin, straight teeth, fit bodies They don’t need any extras Just wondering what extras there are for people without straight teeth, other than keeping your mouth closed. lol

By BLACKHEIRESS

January 16, 2008 4:25 PM | Link to this

**The brownstone the Cosby’s lived in was nice but moderate - it was small in comparison to what the people of high black society have - think Dynasty is more realistic of the Old Guard Families. There are mansions owned by blacks in Weschester County NY, CT, and out in the Hamptons and Long Island. Most have second homes in Martha’s Vineyards. My family has Soho Property - meat packing district. So although it seems like its not a big deal it is. Because you aren’t familiar with it does not mean it can’t exist. It does and we should be proud. Take this knowledge and pass it on to other black americans you know. It’s not a bad thing

By Mahogany

January 16, 2008 4:30 PM | Link to this

For Real nope, raised in Cali.

By Cemeeli

January 16, 2008 4:31 PM | Link to this

ROTFLOL @ Got that…this is a funny bunch of bloggers.

By DasV

January 16, 2008 4:32 PM | Link to this

2CPTG and Raqi i cosign that 417 post and its what this line out my poem posted earlier was eluding to :defective genes make us want you, thrill to be with you and seek your company - - - -no matter how you dog us, abuse and mistreat us - physical, mental or foul litany

By Cemeeli

January 16, 2008 4:34 PM | Link to this

It’s SNOWING ..YAY!

By Staceye

January 16, 2008 4:35 PM | Link to this

Pocahontas I feel ya! I do really wear make up because my skin is clear…but I will not be caught outside without my mascara and lipgloss! I LOVE perfume..so unless I am going to the gym or just forgot to put it on..I will not be going out with it either.

By DasV

January 16, 2008 4:36 PM | Link to this

CEEmee there is no deadline on birthing a baby. no mother is like this baby better come before 9 tonight or im done. any mother, every mother puts in the work for as long as necessary to receive that blessing……. thats how long

By limegpuppy

January 16, 2008 4:39 PM | Link to this

Dreams - too funny at keepin ya mouth closed.

Glad that I have natural beauty, and keep myself up. Must really sucks to take forever getting pretty and 15 minutes undoing make-up to look busted azz h3ll.

By SexyLeggs

January 16, 2008 4:39 PM | Link to this

Pocahontas, I gather you’re physical attributes are not like those of a low-maintenance woman! What are you saying here.

By Blow Me

January 16, 2008 4:40 PM | Link to this

Pocohontas I am the same way! HIGH MAINTENANCE! You can see it before I come….and smell me!! lmao!

By Carla

January 16, 2008 4:41 PM | Link to this

DasV Please stop bringing attention to that poem, it sucked badly, we are trying very hard to ignore it.

By SlimOne

January 16, 2008 4:41 PM | Link to this

For Real I’m feeling the tingling lip balm, but what’s up with 4 pair of shades.

P.S. She has NO clue about the dolphins does she?

Mahogany DOn’t fall for it. I’m sure wherever you’re from they don’t have AA dolphins do they

By Cup Cake

January 16, 2008 4:41 PM | Link to this

SNOW, SNOW, SNOW….PLEASE STICK TO THE GROUND SO I WON’T HAVE TO COME DOWNTOWN IN THE MORNING

By AmazonRed

January 16, 2008 4:45 PM | Link to this

It’s snowing guys! It’s snowing!

This is my first Atlanta snow.

Wonder how it will affect 285. :-/

By Got that?

January 16, 2008 4:47 PM | Link to this

SexyLeggs, I think she’s saying that she’s Mimi from the Drew Carey show.

By Blow Me

January 16, 2008 4:47 PM | Link to this

I am with you Staceye I have to wear perfume and body sprays! both! I dont’ wear foundation…But I tear up mac eyeshadow and gloss thats’ a must. It’s fun to dress up and be girly….I love my beauty regimen.

By Alvin

January 16, 2008 4:48 PM | Link to this

For Real Trust, we’ve lived in homeless shelters during one point in my childhood, so I know first hand how women treat women recovering from abusive relationships.

Oh, me and my siblings put that dude in jail (I was only 12 or 13 at the time) and had to bounce from the house ASAP!!

By Staceye

January 16, 2008 4:49 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli that’s no snow…it’s pollution! LOL

By Willie Dynamite

January 16, 2008 4:50 PM | Link to this

ATAB kill yoself slowly.

Speaking on the Dekalb Co. Cop Murders, don’t you know whoever did this gon catch some hot ones if DC catch on teh street. Best bet is to turn they self in. DC got it 400 Degreez on the Eastside right now.

On-Topic- What is all this I hear from Men about Women waiting and all that. Ya’ll need to Man up and stop all this bytching. Like I said before if you chase it it will run. Don’t complain because its running, up ya game. Real Women recognize whats real and that is the real problem. Most of you cats couldn’t get or handle a Real woman. As for these BROADS that choose to play the waiting game just for GP. You have to understand that you been living in a world with Simps and you are only the female version of it. Don’t get mad at these simps because thats what you are attracting. The real women on this blog know how to handle themselves and know that it’s not about waiting per se but making sure its right. Ya’ll got the game flcked up.

By melo

January 16, 2008 4:51 PM | Link to this

Staceye,have u ever considered stripping 4 money?

By SexyLeggs

January 16, 2008 4:51 PM | Link to this

CupCake, your wish will not be answered. Sorry!

I love my low-maintenance self!

By Staceye

January 16, 2008 4:55 PM | Link to this

**Oh..so some flurries are falling…..big deal! LOL Show me some real snow. In NY we had to go to school unless it was a foot or more! But at least here if the ground is white in any way..I can stay home so..let it snow let it snow let it snow!

By DreamsMaterialize

January 16, 2008 4:55 PM | Link to this

Yeah I can see some snow flakes from the window. Glad I live close to work cuz I know the traffic is gonna be hell. There’s already an accident on Johnson Ferry. Ya’ll drive carefully.

By Wise Diva

January 16, 2008 4:56 PM | Link to this

LOL @ Mimi from Drew Carey, that’s hilarious, GOT THAT.

have a great evening everyone, thanks for joining in the discussion today, really great mix of perspectives. I loved it!

By SexyLeggs

January 16, 2008 4:57 PM | Link to this

GotThat, that was funny!

Good one Staceye, you can barely see the flakes w/the naked eye (at least where I am).

I never go anywhere w/out my eyebrows!

By SexyLeggs

January 16, 2008 4:59 PM | Link to this

Good night everyone! May everybody’s cars start in the morning.

By Staceye

January 16, 2008 5:00 PM | Link to this

Melo NO! Why would you ask me something like that?

By Alvin

January 16, 2008 5:00 PM | Link to this

Staceye more like toxic waste, LOL…It doesn’t snow in atlanta

By limegpuppy

January 16, 2008 5:03 PM | Link to this

@ Leggs I co-sign that last post. Nothing better than being low-maintenance and fabulous!