By SlinOne

February 25, 2008 8:10 AM | Link to this

Good morning all.

Nothing to post on the topic this early. I just wanted to know how Dugan’s went on Friday?

Staceye There were too many chicks at the Holiday Inn Saturday so I don’t think I saw you.

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st

February 25, 2008 8:23 AM | Link to this

Good Morning to All

(Red Bulls and Coffee for everyone)

AlSO, I am going to get my popcorn this is going to be a good one today!!

I will be back later.

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 8:23 AM | Link to this

Morning, Dugans was cool…Join next time…J

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 8:25 AM | Link to this

Morning, Dugans was cool…Join next time…J

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 8:27 AM | Link to this

Morning, Dugans was cool…Join next time…J

By melo

February 25, 2008 8:34 AM | Link to this

Did u all see me on tv last night?

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 25, 2008 8:42 AM | Link to this

Morning, everyone. Hope the weekend went well for you. :-)

WiseDiva asked “Do you consider settling for someone?”

At the risk of getting into a battle over semantics, which is not at all my intention, I think the answer to this question begins with determing what is meant by the term “settling”.

As I see it, the mere fact that there are no “perfect” people and, consequently, no “perfect” mates, dictates that we all will need to “settle” to one degree or another. Meaning, as much as we might have our own list of dating or relationship “prerequisites”, I believe there is something within us all that realizes when that one “special” person comes along who possesses that certain “something” - even at the absence of one of our prerequisites - that we need to take advantage of that opportunity and make something out of it. It is in that context that I say we all “settle” (or “make allowances”) at one point or another.

In the area of dating and relationships, women are notorious for making it clear they’re not going to “settle” for anything. No way. No how. They indoctrinate themselves with this mindset and they also reiterate it to one another. However, I would consider “settling” or “making allowance” for someone; it would simply depend on what it is. As much as we’d like, given our imperfections as human beings, there’s just no way someone is going to come along who possesses every single attribute we want them to have. To “settle” is not always a negative thing, though we oftentimes look at it that way.

By Beautiful aka BiCurious

February 25, 2008 8:46 AM | Link to this

Do you consider settling for someone?

Well, yes and no. The reason I say yes is because I just came out of one of the loneliest weekends. That’s sad. It had me thinking of not wanting to spend the rest of my days by myself. I wanted to break my dating rule soooooooooo bad. But I held my ground, for now.

Is it easier to date if you don’t really have standards that are high?

Of course. I would be in a committed relationship or married right now.

Do you think that waiting for a deep romantic love with someone is futile?

No. Aren’t we all doing that now? That’s why we are here right?

Why does society highlight the lives of single women so much?

Because we are not suppose to be single. A single women my age is like a freak of nature.

correction my son is 5’11. why i need to share that, don’t know.

By SlinOne

February 25, 2008 8:46 AM | Link to this

Darrell ^5! I think you pretty much summed this whole topic up.

Are we changing the subject now this early? lol

By Biff

February 25, 2008 8:50 AM | Link to this

Someone needs to do the thinking for young single women, that answer your question?

You have to break it down to breeding stock and non-breeding stock. A woman who is prime breeding stock can afford to me more choosy, while nonbreeders will always be fighting over the scraps. That’s why some chicks were Kappa Kappa Gammas and others were Sigma Thighs.

The feminist/lesbian movement has so confused the modern young woman that someone needs to explain to them the basics of life. Women used to be taught that their natural state of nurturing was a good thing, now they are taught to do what they want, that it is empowering when all it really does is cheapen their existence.

By AmazonRed

February 25, 2008 8:54 AM | Link to this

Happy Monday Everyone,

I read the article, and I think the author makes some good points and not so good points.

Having just turned 30, I’m not “worried” about finding a mate, but I am DEFINITELY more aware that “play time” is over and I need to be more strategic in what I do. I need to get out there more and maybe be more aggressive in my dating life.

In my opinion, the mistake the author made was to go off and get knocked up with no companion. Of course that was going to put a damper on her dating life!

In any case, I still don’t see myself settling…at least until I start creeping towards 40. I know my “stock” goes down every year I get older. But with men now more than ever trying to “establish” themselves before they settle down, I’m convinced that there is at least one 35 year old who rather date someone more my age of 30 than to date a 21 year old. Sometimes that’s just creepy. LOL

By QC

February 25, 2008 8:54 AM | Link to this

Morning Bloggers

Have a great day everyone, i’m sure i will just as soon as i wake up..hey Darrell!

Holla

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 25, 2008 8:56 AM | Link to this

Blow, at first I thought it was a little early in the day for you to be reaching for popcorn, but after reading Biff’s 8:50, I’m thinking you might be on to something. LOL!

By AmazonRed

February 25, 2008 8:56 AM | Link to this

Glad to see the bloggers had a good time with each other on Friday!

SlimOne - Do you realize you’re misspelling your blog name this morning? LOL

By Beautiful aka BiCurious

February 25, 2008 8:57 AM | Link to this

Wisey u scared my guys away!!!

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 25, 2008 8:58 AM | Link to this

Morning, QC, and thanks (to you and Mom) for the birthday cards! I appreciate it! :-)

By AmazonRed

February 25, 2008 8:59 AM | Link to this

Darrell - Great post. (spelled your name right this time too)

Beautiful - What is your dating rule?

By Rell

February 25, 2008 9:02 AM | Link to this

Good morning

@slim..dugans was cool..it was nice to meet lad j, sexleggs, mo(moiesha), and page…all cool azz chicks…i had a nice time….missed demi…so that was it…i was in between engagements so it was kinda rushed for me…friday night was a very long night for me….lol

ummmm for those of you that caught the state of the black union address….DICK GREGORY DROP THE SERIOUS GAME…

settlng is for LOSERS, ladies/players..if you are single you have the chance to choose happiness…..you still have a chance to make the right choice…take from me….always shoot for the best that life can give you or go after you hearts desire..NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS..PERIOD

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 9:05 AM | Link to this

back @ ya rell!:)

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 25, 2008 9:05 AM | Link to this

Amazon Thanks for the ^5, but most of all for adding that extra ‘r’. ;-)

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 9:07 AM | Link to this

back @ ya rell!:)

By Beautiful aka BiCurious

February 25, 2008 9:09 AM | Link to this

Rell i hear you loud and clear!

ARed no sex until i’m in a committed relationship. it’s so hard to not break it. having a cut buddy is starting to not sound so bad, lmao.

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 9:09 AM | Link to this

back @ ya rell!:)

By SlimOne

February 25, 2008 9:09 AM | Link to this

Ared Preciate the heads up…I haven’t had my first full cup of joe yet. :-D

Rell To me the whole weekend went by to fast, let alone just Friday night. After Saturday night’s skrip show, I think I’m in love with a stripperrrrr

By Raqi

February 25, 2008 9:16 AM | Link to this

I think the author’s delivery of the “7 out 10” concept is a bit skewed. I understand her to mean that the “perfect” (without flaw) man does not exist however, what I am hearing her say is forfeit your desire for happiness and get with the first man with a working penis that is willing to knock you up.

Settle is such poor choice of word to use because it is deemed to mean “just accepting anything”. But that is only when we speak in terms of relationships. I guarantee you that 9 out of 10 people if suing some one for $1 millions would “settle” for $750,000 if given the chance. No matter how much you feel you deserve the million, most will gladly take the 3/4 and be happy with it. Now translating that into relationships, if you got ten “must haves”, the most important top seven will probably make a pretty good mate for you. That’s how I would use settle. Settle for the things that are most important and don’t miss out on that perfect someone for trivial “I only date men with bald heads” type of crap. You never know he just may be willing to shave for you later on but how would you ever find out if you don’t give all of his other qualities a chance.

Now on the marital value. Are we now considered commodities? Does a woman lose value as a good mate when she is past the child bearing years? Is bearing children the only reason one should get married? Heck I accomplished that not even being married. What is she trying to say?

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

February 25, 2008 9:17 AM | Link to this

Mawnin Errbody, hope everyone’s weekend was cool!

Hey Lady J! What’s happenin Rell, thanks for the compliment, back atcha mayne!

Dugan’s was cool, had a good time.

On topic: not gon settle, been there done that, you will be unhappy in the end, period. Life is too short and why make yourself and someone else unhappy just.

By Beautiful aka BiCurious

February 25, 2008 9:17 AM | Link to this

Slim i have the perfect stripper email for you! but it’s kinda nasty. if you want it, let me know. lol.

By melo

February 25, 2008 9:17 AM | Link to this

In any case, I still don’t see myself settling…at least until I start creeping towards 40. glad to hear that. no sex until i’m in a committed relationship-having a cut buddy is starting to not sound so bad so which is which beau and what is a committed relashp, a ring on ur finger or a promise to marry.

By Page1908

February 25, 2008 9:19 AM | Link to this

Good Morning. Dugan’s was cool!!!

By Rell

February 25, 2008 9:21 AM | Link to this

@beautiful….a cut buddy is cool if you making an adult choice on the matter….but if you have set a standard for yourself stick to it…dont get weak…you need something to do or get a hobby something to shift ya focus away from being loney and horny….thats if you living by your standard…feel me..i will keep my other advice to myself…lool

@slim…the weekends are always fast when you have things to do…in love with a stripper..lol….men do it every weekend…do your thing lady

@lady j…..someone did not to alot of talking…lol…

By pisces08

February 25, 2008 9:22 AM | Link to this

Morning All. I was at Dugan’s, I got there late. I probably saw y’all, but don’t know it. I guess we all settle to a certain extent, since we are not perfect.

I had on Tims & black t-nec sweater.

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 9:22 AM | Link to this

Hey Mo!:)

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 9:24 AM | Link to this

Hey Mo!:)

By 6'1 & Luvinit (AKA don' it all)

February 25, 2008 9:26 AM | Link to this

Good morning everybody! Hey bootiful! Can I have two red bull please! I am currently in a situation where my loneliness got the best of me and I in turn went “back to black” This time around it has not been so bad and I think one of the key reasons why is because I know him better now, he knows me and all the unrealistic expectations and false pretenses are out of the window. Do I think I am settling? Hell yeah, but my I am enjoying myself and I am not lonely. Sometime I hear something in the back of my head saying that I might be blocking my blessing by even letting “Black” occupy my time but answer me this in the famous words of the great Lauryn Hill “When it hurts so bad, why it feel so good?”

By Beautiful aka BiCurious

February 25, 2008 9:26 AM | Link to this

melo the definition of a committed relationship means different to everyone. so imma leave that alone.

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 9:26 AM | Link to this

Hey Mo!:)

By AmazonRed

February 25, 2008 9:27 AM | Link to this

Raqi - Great post. How old were you when you got married?

One great benefit of me joining my sorority was getting a group of friends who are 10-15 years older than me. Many of them are still single. They offer great insight as to what they wish they would have done when they were 30 that may have taken them off the market by 40 (many of them chose career over love). Believe me, I pay attention. LOL

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 9:27 AM | Link to this

lol

By Cemeeli

February 25, 2008 9:27 AM | Link to this

What’s the word in here?

How beautiful of a morning it is outside….

Thanks for that extra joe this morning Mo.

I also missed the Dugans fellowship Friday night. Hope all who attended enjoyed.

On Topic: I think we all settle to some degree. But nonetheless that does not mean you shouldn’t aim for what you want, just make sure what you want is realistic and it does not change or derespect who YOU are.

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 9:29 AM | Link to this

lol

By AmazonRed

February 25, 2008 9:29 AM | Link to this

6’1 - I can’t tell if you’re headed for a train wreck, or a happily ever after. Keep us posted. LOL

By QC

February 25, 2008 9:30 AM | Link to this

Who came up with the ebonic term of “cut-buddy”

By Page1908

February 25, 2008 9:31 AM | Link to this

Rell exactly! LadyJ spent the whole night playing with her dang cell phone! That was kinda *rude LadyJ!!!

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 9:31 AM | Link to this

lol

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 25, 2008 9:31 AM | Link to this

Raqi Damn good post! ^5! :-)

I’ve been single for quite a while now and in that time, I’ve become quite accustomed to being able to do what I want, when I want and with whom I want. So, to use your money analogy, the “$1 million” area for me would be that of my own personal freedom.

In other words, the ideal dating situation for me would be a woman who either has no children or children who are old enough to not require the attentiveness that infants and toddlers do, or who are old enough to be out of the house (or soon to be) altogether. Again, this is the ideal - or $1 million - scenario for me. However, if I were to meet a woman who didn’t exactly meet those “prerequisites” as it relates to children, but who so fulfilled me in other ways that it caused me to consider giving up some of those freedoms (“settling” for $750K instead) then, yeah, I would “settle”.

I’d do it in a heartbeat if the fulfillment I’d gain outweighed the freedoms I’d lose.

By Beautiful aka BiCurious

February 25, 2008 9:32 AM | Link to this

Rell what hobby can i find to do at 1am? lmao.

6’1 what’s up gurl?

By Rell

February 25, 2008 9:33 AM | Link to this

@pisces08…when did you get there

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this

Page I know apologies…You know I am like a kid with a new toy and my ADHD kicked in lolol…lov ya no less and rell knows that!!! LMAO

By Teresa

February 25, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this

Did anyone go to the Jill Scott concert?

By SlimOne

February 25, 2008 9:38 AM | Link to this

Beautiful Now you know you can’t tease me like that. You know I’d love to take a peek. lol

Rell I was discussing with a friend ideas for my big 3-0 birthday coming up this June. After I left the Slong-A-Thon i was like, I want one of these…one in particular. Mmmm…Mr. Mystikal from Jamaica with long dreads…MMMMMmmmmmm.

Sorry I had a lil flashback..please excuse me as I take a 15 minute…Cough Cough…smoke break…yeah, I know I don’t smoke lol

By Rell

February 25, 2008 9:38 AM | Link to this

@beautiful - midget porn…lol!!!!!

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 9:39 AM | Link to this

Page I know apologies…You know I am like a kid with a new toy and my ADHD kicked in lolol…lov ya no less and rell knows that!!! LMAO

By 6'1 & Luvinit (AKA don' it all)

February 25, 2008 9:39 AM | Link to this

Bootiful, nothing much, just been cutting up. Don’t worry, I cut up enough for everybody on the blog. Make that three red bulls. I have a situation I need to discuss with u guys, I will be right back with it. Let me finish getting the logistics for my trip. C U N A minute!

By Jazzyone

February 25, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this

Mornin ya ..not looking for my mista’h perfect becasue Im not that girl, but I do have the basics a healthy heart, mind, body and soul so when I come across a man that has that and I have at 20 30 and 40 then its all good, when Im ready I’ll settle down with one not settle for one. There are way too many men out here for me to be trying to get married to just one of em’ right now.

Im not married becasue I don’t want to be right now, and won’t go there until im ready, not because some chick wrote an article, or what Miss Robinson or Miss Jones thinks I should do..Society can make it do what they do not what I do. I don’t have a clock thats ticking and never have. I do this thing MY WAY and will continue to do so…Stock low after 30 or 40?? Naw baybeh cause I gets better with age and my body and mind and soul get more refined with time..trust it…

By pisces08

February 25, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this

@Rell. about 7:30, I was against the wall, next to 2 fine azz women… the little dude waited on me.

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 9:41 AM | Link to this

Page I know apologies…You know I am like a kid with a new toy and my ADHD kicked in lolol…lov ya no less and rell knows that!!! LMAO

By SexyLeggs

February 25, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone. Dugan’s was cool! You guys are very nice.

… start creeping towards 40. I know my “stock” goes down every year I get older. Perhaps, I like to think my stock appreciates for I’ve come into “me.” A better understanding of self and my wants and desires can only help me appreciate the “worth” of a good man much more.

By Foot2Azz

February 25, 2008 9:47 AM | Link to this

Personally I wouldn’t want any chick to settle for me in the sense of I’m not good enough for anyone else so I might as well get with dude. Hell nah. A woman who does that is more prone to cheat on you.

Simply put women lead with their hearts. That doesn’t mean their hearts lead them to the right decision in choosing a mate. Normally women need to feel a gut level attraction in order to submit themselves to a man. But as fate has it sometimes their gut level attraction leads them to a man that abuses them, couldn’t provide two dollars to put in on gas, or the dumbest MF alive! Did they settle? In essence yes, its all semantics as someone said earlier. I think the article suggests that women should just get over some of the nick picky tendecies some of them have when selecting a man when they are younger, or else risk scrapping the bottom of the barrel when they may not have much to offer.

By melo

February 25, 2008 9:47 AM | Link to this

what hobby can i find to do at 1am? the bullet is working just fine or sme women on the blog, so why dont u seek their advice?I think u need to settle there, if u did not believe in artificial but mechanized sex before.Its the way of the future, it seems.

By Rell

February 25, 2008 9:48 AM | Link to this

@pisces…hell i think that i arrived somewhere close to nine..and if it were not for sexyleggs coming up and quizing the hell out of me..then i would have missed the mark…lol..but it was cool

@lady j…yea lady i know we are cool..i am not tender..lol

@page….ladies and gentlemen let me introduce to you the lady that can give you all you need to know in one breath…i mean for real….lol…had to get you..lol

By Beautiful aka BiCurious

February 25, 2008 9:48 AM | Link to this

Slim if you don’t want to broadcast your email, send to me at angeliquegeorgia@yahoo.com.

By SexyCool

February 25, 2008 9:50 AM | Link to this

my stock will never go down…not because i’m not aging or changing or whatever…but because for the person who matters most in my life (ME), i will always be intelligent, loving, giving, witty, wonderful, the best i can be and most of all the sexiest, the coolest…

so…is my mr. right a mr. perfect? not by any means…is he a mr. good enough? probably so…but i’m okay with that…

because i’m good enough too..

By Cemeeli

February 25, 2008 9:51 AM | Link to this

A better understanding of self and my wants and desires can only help me appreciate the “worth” of a good man much more.

Sexyleggs you picked up right where i was thinking…that’s need for a good….yea-ya!

By melo

February 25, 2008 9:53 AM | Link to this

On topic, i settled by marrying a non virgin.That was a big one for me,hypocritical, yes coz i wasnt one myself but i wished she was. I think about that smetime(kinda like a flashback)&imagine myself asking herhw many pple f*** u before i did. I have never actually gotten myself to using those words tho, but its still a sore point with me!!

By AmazonRed

February 25, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this

SexyLeggs (and Jazzy) - I agree that many of us women get better with age. When I made the point about stock going down as you creep towards 40, I solely meant in the eyes of others, namely men, in the dating world.

It’s just a fact that women in their 20s are more sought after than women in their 40s.

By mqew

February 25, 2008 9:57 AM | Link to this

Mornin all

Off: I went to Dugan’s but got there late. The mommy in me won, washed dishes, a load of clothes, cooked, fed Mason and gave him a bath. Got there lil afta 9pm, but I wasn’t about to start hollin Paaaage, Lady Jaaaaaay, so I dragged my friend out and she met me there. Were you guys still there?

On: I’m not sure wth ‘marital value’ is suppose to mean. The person that is “for” you will take you for you. Period. The ‘bad’ (like age, and +kids) with the good. I have a friend thas approaching 40. Neva been married and no kids. Cute, funny, edumacated… but has been in stooopid azz relationships. 5 years wit a guy who admittedly does not want to marry. The minute she dumps him for another and he found out, he is yapping at her heels. My thing is, she needs to leave him the f alone. But who the he11 am I to say. Those lonely nights, she’s “use to him” yada yada yada. I don’t want her to “settle” for HIM, but I see it comin. I try to stay out of it, but of course she wants to talk about it….

By Alvin

February 25, 2008 9:58 AM | Link to this

pisces08 DUDE, how I went thru dang near every table with fine/pretty women introducing myself and asking if they’re from AJC, before MO remembered what I said I would be wearing…

Now borrowing one of Page’s Meanmuggin mask and mean muggin MO LOL

Page I don’t know, the thought of you mean muggin, makes me think of rainbow brite or carebears trying to get upset…it was very nice meeting you.

And Lady J next time we meet Imma get you off that shy trip, girl I know you have a mouth on you!! Use it next time…Just sitting up there trying to look all cute’n’shyt…Now using Page’s mean mggin mask on you too, LOL

Now passing a shot of patron’n’henny Rell’s way

Hey SexyLeggs

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

February 25, 2008 9:59 AM | Link to this

Rell Leave my girl Page1908 alone!! LOL

Lady J LMAO @ you and the ADHD! Girl were really like a lil kid! :0)

By AmazonRed

February 25, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

Hey WiseDiva - As a woman in her mid-30s, what did you think of the article?

By 6'1 & luvinit (aka Don' it All)

February 25, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this

This reminds me of th one of my favorite movies that really didn’t have much content but was just all out funny. It is called “The Sweetest Thing” it stars Cameron Diaz ,Christina Applegate and Selma Blair. But in the dialogue they were talking about settling and the how the choices are very limited. But anyway one of them made the statement that if just let things take its natural course , sometimes Mr. Right Now becomes Mr. Right. But she stated it like you will have a Mr. Right Now and just when you least expect it the Now drops off and you have your Mr. Right, right before your eyes.

By Page1908

February 25, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this

LOL Rell. I didn’t know I talked that fast, but I guess so, lol. I was the one who told SexxyLeggs to go up to you and she did! She was like “I’m very bold, tell me which dude he is and I’ll go up to him” lol.

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 10:06 AM | Link to this

Alvin stop it you know J can run dat mouth in season and out…lol…the next gathering you will be say shut it up…lol…Mo it is what it is chica! LMAO!

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this

Alvin stop it you know J can run dat mouth in season and out…lol…the next gathering you will be say shut it up…lol…Mo it is what it is chica! LMAO!

By pisces08

February 25, 2008 10:09 AM | Link to this

@Alvin. funny…, i was just lookin for some woman with SexyLeggs, and tryin to match “Blog Talk” with a face.

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 10:10 AM | Link to this

Alvin stop it you know J can run dat mouth in season and out…lol…the next gathering you will be say shut it up…lol…Mo it is what it is chica! LMAO!

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

February 25, 2008 10:10 AM | Link to this

Alvin dont be meanmuggin us, its too early for that!! You and Rell startin stuff this morning!!

mqew we were still there around 9pm left shortly thereafter….

By Page1908

February 25, 2008 10:12 AM | Link to this

LOL Demi Thanks! I know I can’t mean mug because I laugh and smile way too much! I am serious sometimes lol. It was nice meeting you, also.

Mo LOL girl, you know Rell had to mess with me.

By Beautiful aka BiCurious

February 25, 2008 10:13 AM | Link to this

melo not into the toys to much. never owned any. don’t really think they will satisfy ya gurl like my crush can. lol. wink, wink

By The Truth

February 25, 2008 10:15 AM | Link to this

Whats up people?

On topic: If its bad for a woman to have to settle think of the dude who gets selected as 2nd or 3rd string. A life of misery.

I don’t think men have to settle at all. I even know some guys that married above their station.

Biff welcome back. I have to co-sign most of your post. These women have so many choices they can’t choose.

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

Funny mqew…J left late…You know I got my eat on…LOL….Page shut dat mouth girl…LOL

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 10:19 AM | Link to this

Funny mqew…J left late…You know I got my eat on…LOL….Page shut dat mouth girl…LOL

By Raqi

February 25, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this

The one thing I know about my relationship, there are things in both of us that the other could very much live without. The point is those things are low on the list. The things we love about each other out weighs the bad. And the things we like about each other keeps us going every day.

If you settle for someone you don’t like, it is just a disaster waiting to erupt.

By Page1908

February 25, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

LadyJ Girl, I am just glad you didn’t order the crab legs again like you did at Barnacles….lololol ctfu

By SexyLeggs

February 25, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

Yeah, I quizzed Rell, sorry honey! Just wanted to make sure you were who you said you were!

Pisces08 I sat at first table by the front door. I had to ask Alvin to go around and ask women at tables by themselves if they were from the AJC. Kept asking him to ask the 3 ladies at the bar, after a while he did and lo and behold it was Mo, LadyJ and Page.

Mqew, the mommy was sneaking up on me, and I knew if I fully acknowledged it, I wouldn’t have come out AT ALL. Thank goodness for leftovers.

Hello Alvin

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

Funny mqew…J left late…You know I got my eat on…LOL….Page shut dat mouth girl…LOL

By Tazzee

February 25, 2008 10:22 AM | Link to this

Morning Folks!

I posted my opinion on that article Friday, but it was late so here it is again:

*I have to EMPHATICALLY DISAGREE with that article. No, I’m not 40 (yet) but at 38 my greatest desire is not to get married and I definitely don’t want to have any children. While I agree that there are many women that want marriage more than they want love - if you truly desire to marry the right man as opposed to just getting married then settling is not for you.

I’ve said many times before that without a specific man in sight waiting for me at that altar - I have no dreams of getting married. Marriage is no joke and not to be entered into lightly. The same is true for having children. So unless I have the right guy in my sights - marriage is not in the plan for me.

But if you have this burning desire to get married (without having a particular man in mind) then that article might apply to you.*

As I’ve re-read that post I have to say that I am 37, won’t be 38 until May 29th.

By Beautiful aka BiCurious

February 25, 2008 10:22 AM | Link to this

Slim u got mail!

By Blue_Kolla

February 25, 2008 10:24 AM | Link to this

What up Blog…

Hahahahaha… Now this is funny. All these females talking about settling, as if only 10% of dudes are worthy and they’re the cat’s meow. Now I see where all these mean azz, single, 35-55 year old, broads come from. Ain’t it funny how they all end up in the Church worshiping the Bishop? LOL

And naahh, dudes ain’t settling for that; so yeah yoll keep that up.

By Beautiful aka BiCurious

February 25, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this

if you truly desire to marry the right man as opposed to just getting married then settling is not for you. i guess i won’t be settling then. :)

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this

Hey Sexy Leggs glad to have met you and read ya!:)

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 10:30 AM | Link to this

Hey Sexy Leggs glad to have met you and read ya!:)

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 10:32 AM | Link to this

Hey Sexy Leggs glad to have met you and read ya!:)

By Cemeeli

February 25, 2008 10:34 AM | Link to this

Blue hey guy. ;)

Did you post “ALL these females”? As to say…what? I don’t think you read all the post clearly friend.

I’ll just take at you didn’t read all the post, but most.

By Raqi

February 25, 2008 10:35 AM | Link to this

Marriage is no joke

Tazzee by no means whatsoever.

By melo

February 25, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this

So unless I have the right guy in my sights - marriage is not in the plan for me. i think most women who get married believe and think they have the right guy..until they start having trble in the relationship.So i dont think that qualification applies to u alone but to most pple who get married.Does right mean meeting ur criteria 100% or are u prepared to allow for sme shortfalls as long as a lot of the criteria has been met, like what raqi said? Are u saying that u have a fullproof way of knowing that smebody is truly in luv with u, a way that other females do not have or do not use..see there are many women that want marriage more than they want love i do not necessarily agree with that(for the most part with wmen who get married) althogh i am happy to hear ur insight on that.

By abc

February 25, 2008 10:38 AM | Link to this

The article’s author is dysfunctional modern American woman’s poster child. Get a load of this: she gets artificially inseminated because she can’t find Mr. Right but wants a child, and in the next breath says that she and most women like her want a traditional family. Intentional single parenthood is just plain irresponsible.

Since she is somehow too heartless to feel a romantic connection with anyone she’s ever met, she says to heck with all that, just pick the best resume. Boy, do I feel sorry for that guy. The author’s description of ‘settling’ dooms him to being a second class person forever, in her eyes. She is no doubt flawless… yeah right, except for her absence of a heart. Her daddy must have been the Tin Man.

I can understand that women want a comfortable life and will judge men based on criteria that supports that, but at the point it outweighs everything else, they become scheming, heartless, psycho beeyotches. What a nightmare!

By For Real

February 25, 2008 10:40 AM | Link to this

What up blog Fam! I’m not sure what that everyone is using the correct definition for settling. Settling doesn’t equate to failure.

Settling as defined by Webster:

to seat, bring to rest, come to rest; to place so as to stay; to establish in residence b: to furnish with inhabitants; to cause to pack down b: to make quiet or orderly; to fix or resolve conclusively; to establish or secure permanently; to arrange in a desired position;

It’s really funny how we change the definition of a word to make ourselves feel better about our choices.

This new I, My, and Me culture is going to very interesting when those that participant reach their mid-50’s and up.

By Tazzee

February 25, 2008 10:40 AM | Link to this

Also, like others have said - I believe my value has increased quite a bit over the past 5 years. And while For Real has educated us on the fact that we can’t determine our value in the eyes of someone else - I think the fact that I’ve been attracting a higher caliber of men than I have in the past proves this fact.

Now to answer Wise’s other questions:

Do you consider settling for someone? I’ve never looked for the perfect man. I’ve said it many times before that I would know ‘him’ when I see ‘him’. Some would say I’m settling with my current sweetheart because he doesn’t have the Idris Elba/Richard T Jones look about him but I’ve never placed a great emphasis on looks.

Is it easier to date if you don’t really have standards that are high? It’s probably easier to get dates, but if a man doesn’t measure up to what you want then you won’t be content in your relationship. Which goes back to my first response to the article - if your sole focus is to get married and have children then you might be better off lowering your standards before your eggs get too old.

Do you think that waiting for a deep romantic love with someone is futile? Nope.

By mqew

February 25, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this

Sexyleggs Thas the thing, I had leftovers, I was cooking for Sat lunch! My SO was like, “Ain’t you suppose to be going somewhere, well… leave then?” I hate I missed yall!! Next time I’ll forego the ‘mommyness’. I’ll def go back tho. It was better than my friend and I expected, and my top shelf long beach OMG… prolly be back later on this week

I married young so I didn’t really have a grasp… well on much, BUT I was def blessed cause I got a good one ;->

By mytwocents

February 25, 2008 10:45 AM | Link to this

Sounds like Dugan’s was cool. Hope to mix in the future…

Saw the chick on the Today Show & she was given the oppty to say she just meant compromise on certain must haves but nope, she was pretty adamant that you should just take what’s avail @ the time. She’s on her own w/ that. My thoughts pretty much align w/ Darrell & Raqi. For me, it’s like when I do all the research on paper & online about a product I wanna purchase. Get to the store and maybe they’re out of stock, maybe not. But the sales person asks what exactly I need it for then says “Based on what you’re telling me, you may want to conisder this model…” And the times when I actually opened my mind to the attributes of the other option, which I had already decided against or somehow flew under my radar, it has not only met my needs, but exceeded my expectations ~ often for just about the same monetary investment.

I’d be HIGHLY insulted w/ the thought that somebody called himself settling for me, and it’s one of my biggest annoyances w/ guy friends who have told me they feel they owe her, (not love her) and that’s why the relationship goes forward. Likewise, I’d never consciously do that, but wouldn’t mind being someone’s Happy Surprise or happening upon one, myself.

*What up 6”1’. Didn’t u catch urself singin the Peeni song for days after that movie! lol

By SeanJohnson3000

February 25, 2008 10:48 AM | Link to this

Sup Blog…regarding the topic….i think women are their worst enemies regarding the settling topic..and its a mental thing for them..the issue really isnt about settling..its a reality issue in which how men and women see the reality of relationships and themselves..to me it seems as though women are trying to get more out of the relationship or deem themselves as more valuable than the average man and call the situation ‘settling” when they are with/dating someone that is viewed as not being clearly higher on the food chain…bottom line is…the way women are wired…for a man with a lil patience…you are running a race you cant win…co-signing BK post..

By melo

February 25, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this

so mqew is same as raqi ?

By Blue_Kolla

February 25, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this

Cee Did you post “ALL these females”? As to say…what? I don’t think you read all the post clearly friend.

Come on now slim. Let’s not be literal today. I’m sure that you’ve been around enough Black people to know that “All” IS NOT = TO “Every”. I was speaking figuratively. But just to correct my post, I’ll say “Many, but not all of these females…”

By Jazzyone

February 25, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this

ABC I like your post. For real I agree thats why I said settle down not settle for.

By SexyLeggs

February 25, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this

BTW, Rell is a very, very nice person.

Settling, settling, settling. At the time, pretty sure most didn’t think they “settled.” Things get so complicated in a marriage you tend not to fully understand the magnitude of the person sleeping beside you. Yes, a lot know this person before marriage, but a lot more find out about the person during the marriage. That’s just the way it is!

Hey Lady J, girl I saw more of your “scalp” than your face (LOL).

By Alvin

February 25, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this

pisces08 I didn’t leave until a little after 740…The ladies where setting by the bar upper left corner soon as you walk in…LOL

And Page remember, the clock clicking…we need you to have a ring on your finger in two years and a baby in year three…READY..SET..GO!!!!

Lady J I will forgive you this time…LOL

Mo I never knew “Brown” could look so good on a person…*Now looking for a sexy UPS uniform for my future SO to wear..

QC, would you like to deliver some “packages” in a cute brown uniform? I am having Demi fly one in for Mo as well…Just be careful when bending (Smile)

By Binford2K8

February 25, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this

One complaint I hear from a lot of female friends is that the right guy doesn’t come up to them.

So ladies: it’s 2008 and the playing field is level. Throw away the misconceptions and antiquated notions of the “traditional” methods. You are responsible for your happiness, so make the best of it! There are plenty of catches out there if YOU look - I guarantee it!

Also, one question for ladies in the blog Had a discussion with two female friend and they said it was easier to sleep with a stranger than a friend. My point is that it would be easier to be with a friend because of the trust factor. What say the females?

By Tazzee

February 25, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this

melo you’d be surprised but I know some women who have married men that weren’t their ideal but they figured they weren’t getting any younger. I know women that are more focused on getting married and having children than getting with the right man for them. As far as criteria - I don’t have a long list of stuff that I’m looking for. I just know that when it’s right, I’ll know it. This might be considered that ‘irrational’ feeling you guys like to put on us but I consider it discernment. There will always be shortfalls because there is no perfect person - shoot I know I have my own shortfalls. But as long as a guy doesn’t have a major shortfall then I’m good.

And the reason I know there are women that are looking for marriage at all costs is because I’ve been that woman. The one that will try to make a relationship work at all costs knowing there were signs that the guy was not for me - simply because I wanted to get married.

By Page1908

February 25, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this

LOL Alvin Yeah right! Ok, let me find my next victim, lol.

By Got that?

February 25, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this

What are you thoughts about the article? Enough has been said about the article.

*Do you consider settling for someone? * Although the term settling has been associated with a negative connotation, it’s what we all do all the time. Why should dating be different? Maybe we should learn what settling really means and realize that it’s not a negative thing. It’s part of the negotiation process. At some point, you have to compromise to get what you really want.

Is it easier to date if you don’t really have standards that are high? It’s easier to get dates, but with lower standards, chances are you’ll be extremely frustrated.

Do you think that waiting for a deep romantic love with someone is futile? Herein lies the problem. People expect this to be right at the start of the relationship. However, love grows over time and it takes a lot of patience and forbearance. It requires remembering that no one is perfect, not even ourselves. It requires us to know, accept, and settle ourselves so that we can accept others for who they are exactly as they are.

By Kym

February 25, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this

Good morning All

I think the article is a bit silly and I have to agree with Tazzee. Darrell sum it up in his first post.

By Jazzyone

February 25, 2008 10:58 AM | Link to this

I know so many women that get married because they want the wedding and forget about the marriage and the work they have to put into it. Or marry a man to say they have a man but can’t stand that man…whateva not my style..

A person doesn’t just up and become a monster they show signs of it its up to you to see that move on or move in. You reap what you sow

If I wanted to have children and not adopt I would have welcomed a union by now been married with 5 of them lil bastids but thats not my choice…I enjoy dating right now and meeting people I will eventually get serious about marriage and settle down, there are some really great men out here and some not but its up to me to be the best me I can be and that will attract what I need in my life..hasn’t failed me thus far..life is dayum GUHD!

By Staceye

February 25, 2008 11:00 AM | Link to this

Slim I never made it. The plans I had earlier that day ran a lot later than planned! How was it? Did Romance dance? I hired him for a party and he was EXCELLENT! LOL I did however find my way to Verve around 12:20/1am!

Biff are you saying that because women choose to be more than glorified maids and baby factories that our very existence has been cheapened? It’s funny how a man..who hasn’t nor ever will walk a mile in a a woman’s shoes will never understand what it’s like. Being treated as a second class citizen..like the only reason for her to have a brain is to carry out a man’s wishes. So now that woman are in a position to (dare I say it) actually enjoy her life and be more than a wife and mother..there is a problem! Wow…as a woman who never wants to marry nor be a mother…some would say there is something wrong with me. Not every female with a uterus wants to be a mom..nor do we dream of our wedding day since age 3.

So I missed the meet and greet aat Dugan’s…..oh well next time then!

By THE INFAMOUS DK

February 25, 2008 11:04 AM | Link to this

I say get him while you can because theyre turning 18 everyday.. Ha! I mean its not like its 20 dudes to 1 woman out there.. You can be wifee or jump off 1 thru 5, you decide..

I also have wondered why is it the man always have to measure up to the womans standards? What about a woman measuring up or the two meeting on equal ground.. No but we should just accept you for who and what you are 50 kids and all and be happy to have you.. BWAH!!! Contrar to popular beliefs men have standards too and it doesnt really concern your butt being too big for your body, stomach’s on pregnant status or your thighs scrubbin although thats part of it..

I have said it a thousand times women its not all about you.. If you want the best man for you, try being the best woman you can be and he will seek you out.

By Alvin

February 25, 2008 11:05 AM | Link to this

BTW, Rell is a very, very nice person

Naw, Rell is one of the meanest SOB in real life…Forget what Sexy said.

Sexy, there is no such thing as a ‘nice Rell’

We have a blog image to maintain.

By Cemeeli

February 25, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this

Blue…you late we cool already! Told you i took it as you were not saying all.* Even if you were taking a stab at inclusive of “me” then that’ll just puts mo’ pressure on the grip i put on yo’ neck…potnah! ;)

We start clownin’ …Now! Lol…

Alvin you silly. “UPS” were brown looks good.

By Blue_Kolla

February 25, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this

QC Who came up with the ebonic term of “cut-buddy”

I don’t know but maybe he should be nominated for Man Of The Century, because I’d dare to say that at least 75% of all adults are holding down the position in some capacity or another, whether they know it or not.

By Binford2K8

February 25, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this

Staceye

It’s perfectly acceptable to do whatever you want …yer just a little militant about it ;p

Binford offers Staceye a hug with no level of commitment - and respectful of her wishes

By QC

February 25, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this

Hey *BK

What’s up *Page, Demi/Alvin, erry’body…zzzzz8

By Cemeeli

February 25, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this

Page mail call.

See you there.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

February 25, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this

Alvin well brown is one of my signature colors!! LOL Thanks! I am lmao at the timeline you gave Page1908!! DAYUM!

Binford I say, me personally, sleeping with a familiar is easier.

By IslandGirl

February 25, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

Morning everyone… hope you guys had a great weekend.

By Beautiful

February 25, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this

Alvin when i first started posting back in Sept., i kinda thought on the same lines. i bet these mean a$$ people say these things just because their behind these fake monikers. Rell is nice. i’ve spoken to him on the phone a couple of times. sometimes i think i’m the realest person on here. i said sometimes.

By Raqi

February 25, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this

melo HUH?

By SexyLeggs

February 25, 2008 11:19 AM | Link to this

Oops!

Binford2k8, it is easy to get w/a stranger because there aren’t any preconceived ideas about who this person is. His mannerisms, his treatment of others, his habits. A jump off is just that. Now, getting with a friend can hold you back because you have more ammunition to work with that may or may not backfire. Case in point, there’s a guy I’ve know for over 2 decades trying to get w/me but I won’t go there because I know he was a “ho” when we were younger. I know he doesn’t like to even go to brunch w/a woman, I know he shy aways from movies just to give a few examples. Why would I sleep with him thinking I want to have a relationship w/him and he does w/me but can’t do simple things like stated above. My point is knowing someone sometimes makes it harder or damn near impossible!

By mqew

February 25, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this

melo No, I’m not Raqi We are both married. I think you misunderstood when I said Mason. Mason is my son’s name. I believe Raqi correct me if necess but, her SO and son’s name is Mason as well.

Infamous At the end of your statement it sounds like in summary, it is indeed all about us. When we try to be the best…. then it’s all about me and not about someone else.

By Jazzyone

February 25, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this

yeah you right tons of cut-ees and cuters..and thats exactly why I lead a celibate lifestyle unless he belongs to me?? Me no cutty honey…

By Rell

February 25, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this

@al…i am a nice dude..lol…

By Blue_Kolla

February 25, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this

DK I say get him while you can because theyre turning 18 everyday.. Ha! I mean its not like its 20 dudes to 1 woman out there.. You can be wifee or jump off 1 thru 5, you decide..

I have said it a thousand times women its not all about you.. If you want the best man for you, try being the best woman you can be and he will seek you out.

I’m of that same mindset.

Cee Even if you were taking a stab at inclusive of “me” then that’ll just puts mo’ pressure on the grip i put on yo’ neck…potnah! ;)

Nope, wasn’t even talkin’ ‘bout “chu”. Relax your grip, Clyde got this.

By Staceye

February 25, 2008 11:25 AM | Link to this

Binford you got jokes! LOL

Beautiful I know Rell is nice…he just wants us to to THINK he’s not! LOL Smooches Rell!

By Rell

February 25, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this

@DK….cosign that homie all the way

By kimmie

February 25, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this

Rell - Liked your 9:02 post. I caught Dick Gregory and he really broke it down!

Like Raqi said, I hate to use the word settle. We all know that no one is perfect and one would have to be crazy to pass on a good guy because he did not measure up to one or 2 superficial things. Looking back on my experiences, I can’t say I’ve had the opportunity to get with Mr. Not Quite Right and passed it up. I guess I was too busy trying to make Mr. Not Right work and I see how that worked for me -NOT!:) I would have loved to have had a chance at Mr. Not Quite! Anyway, I feel I have Mr. Wonderful now, but he is by no means perfect, but who is? I do know I am going to give him my best, as I feel I’m getting from him!

Yes, Wise, it always seems everyone is overly concerned about the single woman. Society has not realized yet that it is not 1940 and a woman not married at 18 or even 30 is not an anomaly. Yes, we should keep in mind biology limits if we want a family, but even with that, God has a plan for us all and will exert HIS will in due time. I say enjoy all that life has to offer, be the best person you can be, and everything will fall into place!

By For Real

February 25, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this

Wise A few questions for you.

By Raqi

February 25, 2008 11:32 AM | Link to this

Okay. Why do I feel like I am in the twilight zone? Or like Bridgett Fonda in SWF?

But uh okay. My SO is but not my son.

I am by no means saying that it was you mqew, but it’s funny because one day I read a comment on here that was clearly taken from my spot. I just chuckled to myself and let it fly. In fact I have read two comments. But oh well…

My new moniker will be MIHIAATBU and I will only refer to my husband as my SO.

(leaving the room looking confused)

By Tazzee

February 25, 2008 11:32 AM | Link to this

DK I never said I didn’t need to measure up to a man’s standards. I don’t think any woman is saying that. But I have to agree with your point about being the best woman I can be - because that’s all I can do. I can’t control how a man thinks or feels about me, nor will I try to convince any man that I am the one for him. All I can do is be the best me I can be.

By SexyLeggs

February 25, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this

Let me retract some of what I posted earlier. It really depends on the friend trying to get with you.

By Beautiful

February 25, 2008 11:35 AM | Link to this

Staceye exactly. it’s easy and exciting i guess to not be yourself on this blog. im not saying that Rell isn’t being himself though. i just notice a lot of fellas actin’ all tough, whatever. let’s try it in person.

By SlimOne

February 25, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this

Staceye I think Romance was there but I would be lying if i said i knew for sure. There was so much going on. Because when one dude was on the stage, there were others toward the back, working the crowd. Why did i see 2 obviously gay studs in there. It was so weird because there was a skripper messing with this chick sitting in front of them. And I ain’t NEVA seen someone stare at a dizzick that hard in my life. It was like they were trying to dissect it or see if it was real….eyes were in a hypnotic state. I wasn’t the only one who noticed, but it was funny nonetheless.

By Blue_Kolla

February 25, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this

For Real The reason you never see article advising men of such things is because men know that nothing in life is a 100% and you only get out of life what you put into it. Men don’t run around chasing feelings (Butterflies), fairytales (Deep Romantic Love) and claiming what We Deserve anything without working our azz off for it. <===Jewel

By Rell

February 25, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this

@beautiful…whats your point…i am me on here and in person…lol

By Tazzee

February 25, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this

Raqi what does MIHIAATBU stand for? I need to check out your spot, haven’t been there in a while… Oh and I’m going to still call you Ragi because all those letters in caps is a bit much, OK?

By Simp

February 25, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

Hello to the blog family. I hope everyone had a great weekend. I see I missed another opportunity to suck up to all the beautiful women. Beautiful You are now Bi? With those ragging harmones you should really give in. It’s not considered settling. You’re going to loose your mind. The next meet n greet is on me.

By The Truth

February 25, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

Infamous and For Real great posts.

By Alvin

February 25, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this

Beautiful LOL

By THE INFAMOUS DK

February 25, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this

Its not about all about you when youre trying to date someone else.. If you want to be alone then it is all about you.. Whats the saying…. “You can put a wig on a pig but its still a pig”

By mqew

February 25, 2008 11:49 AM | Link to this

Raqi ?taken from my spot”? you have a blogspot or somethin? Not sure what that meant. Also, I wasn’t sure which or if both had the same name, so thanks for the correction. I was tryin to make the distinction for melo. BTW, I call my spouse SO because it’s quicker to type, you shd call yours wth you like :-)

By Staceye

February 25, 2008 11:51 AM | Link to this

Slim I wish I was there. My girl went though. I called her while she ws there and she was like…”girl I’ll call you back, I’ve got d1ck in my face!” LMAO

By mytwocents

February 25, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this

Binford I think it’s easier emotionally to deal w/ a stranger. If dude is already a pal, then y’all must click on certain levels. Add some azz & it increases the chance you’ll start thinkin of the “what ifs.”

By abc

February 25, 2008 11:55 AM | Link to this

Personally, without the butterflies and fairytale I’m unlikely to pursue a woman all that hard. I’d like to think I deserve all this and that, but I’ve yet to meet a woman that won’t bust my chops for even acting like that a little bit. Without the butterflies and fairytale, how do you think it’ll last, what on earth does a LTR benefit? Why else would one endure it?

By Beautiful

February 25, 2008 11:55 AM | Link to this

Rell you weren’t a good example. i wish i could name names, but won’t go there.

simp nope, not bi just curious. since i don’t drink, can i have an appetizer?

By Rell

February 25, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this

@for real….MESSAGE…lol, cosign homie

By Alvin

February 25, 2008 12:01 PM | Link to this

Raqi I dare you change your screen name…now calling Mase to let him know his wife is trippin

By mqew

February 25, 2008 12:02 PM | Link to this

Infamous Okay, soooo… If this all about me chica is only dating someone else. Then it seems that it would indeed be all about me and even hopefully he would be all about he until we want it to be more. Im jus sayin you said it like it’s the most evil, stooopidest think in the world. In my opinion, more women need to have the all about me mindset. To indeed have themselves as together as possible and not worried whether or not nicca’s are really real! my 2

By Simp

February 25, 2008 12:03 PM | Link to this

Beau You can have whatever you want. does being courious means you’re having thoughts?

By 6'1 & luvinit (aka Don' it All)

February 25, 2008 12:07 PM | Link to this

Bootiful, all u got do is ask girl!!!!!!!

By Beautiful

February 25, 2008 12:08 PM | Link to this

Simp let me put it to you this way, without my SO by my side it won’t happen. if you placed a bet that i would, you would probably be out some $.

By SexyLeggs

February 25, 2008 12:11 PM | Link to this

…does being courious means you’re having thoughts? Don’t they go hand in hand??

By THE INFAMOUS DK

February 25, 2008 12:12 PM | Link to this

Another thing.. People we have to stop getting the roles mixed up.. Men dont act like women and women cant act like men. There are reasons men act like men and not like women.. Besides ya’ll dont like men that act like ya’ll anyway.. Stop looking for a dude to romance you like your girlfirend would cause it aint happening. I tell you what will solve the problem.. Let him date you and your girl, that way you can get the romance and he can have more than one woman.. Win Win situation problem solved.. Now if you cant go for that quit trying to force a dude to be what you want him to be cause youre not going to be what he wants you to be.. Heck he might want you to get out there and get Daddy his money when times are hard..

By Bella

February 25, 2008 12:13 PM | Link to this

Afternoon, all!

This is a tricky discussion because of semantics.

But what I will say is women (and men) don’t need to hold out for someone who’s perfect, but someone who’s perfect for them. Perfect for me may mean a man who leaves his dirty clothes on the floor but also sends me flowers. It may mean he doesn’t look like Brad Pitt but makes me dinner once a week.

So I think it’s ok to have “high standards,” as long as they aren’t impossible. Nobody’s perfect.

By Wise Diva

February 25, 2008 12:15 PM | Link to this

abc, I know your comments don’t NEED a co-sign, but I wholeheartedly agree with your thoughts on the author. My goodness, someone should really to some self-analysis.

AmazonRed, well as a writer, I was really annoyed with her referencing Sex and the City, and Friends to make a point. It just further perpetuated the stereotype that women allow Hollywood to dictate their relationships - that’s just weird.

Then I was confused about what she considered settling, as opposed to accepting. I mean, when I get married, I know I will ADORE the man, and I won’t think that what I have chosen to accept about him is settling, and he CERTAINLY will have to accept my flaws.

To me, settling is when you compromise for something that is not good for you. Accepting the one you love is being a damn mature, adult.

SO basically, she irked me, LOL

By Simp

February 25, 2008 12:16 PM | Link to this

maybe I can be by your side and big tall girl 6’1 and work you over. i would not mind being out of some $ for that. it’s MONDAY. Lite up my day. I guess that’s what lunch is for. wanna go to lunch, my treat?

By Rell

February 25, 2008 12:18 PM | Link to this

@sexyleggs….you are cool as well..and i like your approach..very bold..thats what we like…lol

@dk…back from training i see, you coming in spitting hot fire..the abundance of “b***” is killing the community

By Beautiful

February 25, 2008 12:20 PM | Link to this

Simp no thx.

By THE INFAMOUS DK

February 25, 2008 12:20 PM | Link to this

MQ that would be OK if you werent relying on your hater friends or your divorced Mom to put the image of what a good man is, in you head.. The problem is most women let other women define what a good man is.. When none of them know.. Then the other problem is ya’ll might have a 95% good dude and trade him in for a 2% good dude.. Thanks Money Mike for that one cause it was way true..

On top of all that most of ya’ll ish aint right but ya’ll want us to be right.. Come on..

By Beautiful

February 25, 2008 12:21 PM | Link to this

i guess i fell into that one.

By The Truth

February 25, 2008 12:22 PM | Link to this

Simp you are cracking me the fugg up. Funny shyt.

By Alvin

February 25, 2008 12:25 PM | Link to this

Rell bold is not the word for Sexyl

said while handing DK an ice cold beer after that long sermon

By Tazzee

February 25, 2008 12:29 PM | Link to this

DK since you keep using the term ‘most’ I feel inclined to respond to your post. First of all - romance is not just a ‘woman’ thing. Just because YOU don’t romance a woman doesn’t mean that there aren’t men out there that do.

Second of all - ‘most’ women aren’t living by committee as you’d like to think. Perhaps if you were in the business of dealing with woman and not little girls you would know that. Perhaps its just that ‘most’ of the women you are attracting are living by committee.

Finally - based on your comments, it seems like ‘most’ of the women you deal with don’t have their ish right - perhaps you should exert your efforts more on women that do.

In summary - if ‘most’ of the women you deal with are that flawed, then one would have to conclude that it’s more of who YOU are attracting than the general population of women.

By Simp

February 25, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this

Beaut, You have not fell into it yet. i have nothing but time on my hand. 6’1, what are you doing after work? we got some work to do in this blog. sexyleg you are right. what i wanted to know. does she want 6’1 to take her cookies. again i am paying.

By Alvin

February 25, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this

Let’s see…

How many ladies/guys will admit to settling in the first marriage and has since wisen up?

By 6'1 & luvinit (aka Don' it All)

February 25, 2008 12:32 PM | Link to this

Bella, you and Wise are right. I know that I am not perfect but i am indeed perfect for someone (Hence Beyonce ‘Flaws and all’) I know that it out there. I have stop being so dayuum pretensious and unrealistic. Because I was so there. Me dropping both of those characteristics has indeed help me to open my eyes to see a lot of things that have been there all along but I had my blockers on.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 25, 2008 12:34 PM | Link to this

ALL

Not to change the subject, but I came across an article over the weekend which I thought was incredibly powerful and well-balanced from both the male and female perspective.

The article is entitled He Just Won’t Talk To Me by Paul and Sandy Coughlin. If you have the time, I’d be interested to know what you all think of it. Personally, I thought it was an excellent read.

By AmazonRed

February 25, 2008 12:36 PM | Link to this

WiseDiva - She lost me when she started speaking on how hard it is to date and be a never married mother…well DUH! Parenthood is meant for two parties. That’s why it takes to to even make a kid.

Sounds to me she’s realizing she sold herself short and now is reaping the consequences of that decision.

Other than the fact that maybe us women DO need to take stock of our expectations and ask if they are realistic, she can have the rest of her commentary. LOL

By Jazzyone

February 25, 2008 12:38 PM | Link to this

Tazz See thats why I love you to Death! ^ 5 on your last post!!!

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 12:39 PM | Link to this

Alvin I admit to that and now up to speed to go after what makes me happy and content…

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 12:41 PM | Link to this

Alvin I admit to that and now up to speed to go after what makes me happy and content…

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 12:43 PM | Link to this

Alvin I admit to that and now up to speed to go after what makes me happy and content…

By Alvin

February 25, 2008 12:43 PM | Link to this

Tazzee you would be surpise at how DK’s post rings true…Thank to many years in FZ, you learn how most women truly think and your post only replies to SOME…not MOST women.

By SexyLeggs

February 25, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this

Ok, I’ll bite…if “bold” isn’t the word for me Mr. Alvin, which word is?

Alvin, I’ll admit I settled in my first marriage and that’s why I know not to do it again (that is “settle”). I did a few things a$$-backwards because I have an “old school” soul. Baby came first then marriage, and I really, truly felt that 2-parent household was the path to venture down (and I thought I loved him). Lawdy, lawdy, lawdy! Once those colored-coded glasses come off, some real shyt pops off that takes a long time to clean up.

By Simp

February 25, 2008 12:48 PM | Link to this

Alvin to answer your question. I settled in my first marriage. What I learned is you have to have a foundation. We was in love with the material possesions. When it came to to making adjustments due job lost. We could not get on the same page. I’ve heard that finace will kill a marriage like vick killed the falcons. Now I think you should obtain substance over flair. you have to learn to talk to your mate and not at them. boi i’ve learned so much. one day i will stop trying to buy my way into someone’s life.

By AmazonRed

February 25, 2008 12:54 PM | Link to this

Sounds like several of you had “starter” marriages, first. So tell me, would you do it again because of the life lessons you learned.

I hope I only marry once and that it sticks, but if everyone is gonna say that their starter marriages were worth it in the long run, I might as well get married now and then upgrade in 5 years or so. LOL

By Alvin

February 25, 2008 12:57 PM | Link to this

boi i’ve learned so much. one day i will stop trying to buy my way into someone’s life.

Simp dude you’re crazy, you know that mess doesn’t work, LOL

Lady J and that you have…I am proud of you young sis!!!

SexyLeggs How bout ‘Go Getta’?…That’s good to know, you next mate will be a blessing now stay your age so I can catch up LOL

By SexyLeggs

February 25, 2008 1:01 PM | Link to this

…one day i will stop trying to buy my way into someone’s life. WOW! You’re still doing this in 2008. Haven’t you figured out that this doesn’t really work, at least not for the long haul! I’m pretty sure you know this. The time has come for you to wean yourself from doing this. You don’t need confirmation from anyone. Honestly project who and what you are and you’d probably keep more $$ in your pocket (unless you’re someone like the Hunch Back of Notre Dame which I know is not the case)!

By Demi

February 25, 2008 1:03 PM | Link to this

AmazonRed you know you ain’t the one for a starter marriage…it all about having fun and taking your time, you know your worth

Demi is having a gay moment and is now playing a Woman’s Worth

Followed by..

Three 6’s mafia - Bisssssh! Get the F/K out my face!! To man back up.

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 1:04 PM | Link to this

Thanks Alvin!

Funny Ared you may be in the minority with marriage….It can happen but J will do just fine the second time around…I truly take blame for my part and truly learned from the demise and glad for the time for me to focus on me and enjoy life in the process! Yep beside all of you J is really blessed to be at this point in my life!

By Blue_Kolla

February 25, 2008 1:05 PM | Link to this

…now wondering if Simp is a dude or a chick?

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 1:06 PM | Link to this

Thanks Alvin!

Funny Ared you may be in the minority with marriage….It can happen but J will do just fine the second time around…I truly take blame for my part and truly learned from the demise and glad for the time for me to focus on me and enjoy life in the process! Yep beside all of you J is really blessed to be at this point in my life!

By SexyLeggs

February 25, 2008 1:07 PM | Link to this

Hmmm starter marriages, never looked at it like that. Did I know mine wouldn’t last? Looking back = yes. While in it = Not the first few years, but after a while YES!

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 1:08 PM | Link to this

Thanks Alvin!

Funny Ared you may be in the minority with marriage….It can happen but J will do just fine the second time around…I truly take blame for my part and truly learned from the demise and glad for the time for me to focus on me and enjoy life in the process! Yep beside all of you J is really blessed to be at this point in my life!

By THE INFAMOUS DK

February 25, 2008 1:08 PM | Link to this

TAz Weve already talked about the kind of women I date and it doesnt matter what your status is because my status is AOK.. I have also implied that if and when i get to know you and you dont meet the standards that I require in a mate you become a jump off.. Its really quite simple..

Men understand that there is no such thing as a perfect babe thats why we have more than one, to blend ya’ll together to make the perfect babe concoction..

What I’m saying is we accept you guys flaws and all with no intention of trying to fix ya’ll but ya’ll go into looking to fix a bro up to make him exactly what you want him to be.. Oh and please ya’ll listen to your girlfriends before you listen to your man.

By SexyLeggs

February 25, 2008 1:09 PM | Link to this

LadyJ, I’m blessed right along with you. I truly feel you!

By Page1908

February 25, 2008 1:09 PM | Link to this

LOL @ Truth

By AmazonRed

February 25, 2008 1:10 PM | Link to this

Demi - I may not be the one for a starter marriage but I’m also NOT the one to be the old lady with a lot of cats! LOL.

Lady J - Good stuff. I truly do enjoy my single life, but I know that if I don’t end up getting married I’d wonder what I’d be missing. Not trippin though. Me and the Lord have an understanding! LOL

By Got that?

February 25, 2008 1:13 PM | Link to this

6’1, I have stop being so dayuum pretentious and unrealistic. Because I was so there. Me dropping both of those characteristics has indeed help me to open my eyes to see a lot of things that have been there all along but I had my blockers on. You said it. That is dead on. If more people thought like that, they’d probably find what they’re looking for. I find that there are a lot of women out there who have unrealistic expectations of dating and relationships. Unreal romanticism based fictional stories dispersed by mass media. It’s like life has to knock them down a few times before they get it. Most men don’t want to be with a pretentious woman. Overstating your value works against you.

By Beautiful

February 25, 2008 1:16 PM | Link to this

my starter fake marriage was a blessing also. im getting butterflies thinking about my next boo.

By AmazonRed

February 25, 2008 1:16 PM | Link to this

What I’m saying is we accept you guys flaws and all with no intention of trying to fix ya’ll but ya’ll go into looking to fix a bro up to make him exactly what you want him to be.. Oh and please ya’ll listen to your girlfriends before you listen to your man.

This is so inaccurate. LOL. There are plenty women who do this and plenty that do not. Nice generalization though. LOL

By Blue_Kolla

February 25, 2008 1:19 PM | Link to this

Red I may not be the one for a starter marriage but I’m also NOT the one to be the old lady with a lot of cats! LOL.

Could that be paralleled with realizing one’s own mortality?

By THE INFAMOUS DK

February 25, 2008 1:23 PM | Link to this

Then why are we having this conversation if its so inaccurate?

By Simp

February 25, 2008 1:23 PM | Link to this

Blue- i am a dude all the way. starter marriage. now thats funny. can you upgrade with ex? What you think about that ole azz woman the married that kid a few years back? she was released from prison on friday. will she get her kid back?

By QueDogTeaching

February 25, 2008 1:26 PM | Link to this

What up blog Said while looking out the window on such a nice day and wondering if teachers can get recess put into our contracts.

On-topic I don’t think men “Settle” But I do think that we understand what we get.

We understand that she is very good looking, likes to shop, but she can’t really cook, and I might have to teach her how I like everything. But when we step out she is going to be the bomb, and she will always try to please me.

We understand that she is not all that, but she dresses up nicely, and she is a good homemaker and mother. Great woman to be with, is mature and humble, and will always consider your feelings and keep the kids in line.

We understand that she is totally business oriented, likes to talk a lot, and can support herself, and is an earner. But we understand that she will argue in public, and you won’t just be able to tell what to do. (But if you put it on paper in a list format she will complete every task.) You also have to understand that you will have to do half the house work, cook half the meals, and pleasure yourself half the time.

By SexyLeggs

February 25, 2008 1:26 PM | Link to this

Which kid simp, her own children or her “kid of a husband”?

By CAT LADY

February 25, 2008 1:28 PM | Link to this

**ARED..From the looks of it…You will be the LADY with tons of cats..If you keep being so beesh….you don’t have long. OLD A$$

By AmazonRed

February 25, 2008 1:28 PM | Link to this

DK - Not really a conversation, just stating that I disagree. That is allowed on here, right?

By mqew

February 25, 2008 1:29 PM | Link to this

Noooooo why would you want to “fix” us and mess up your jump off?!! Nicca pls!

By Blue_Kolla

February 25, 2008 1:30 PM | Link to this

This is so inaccurate. LOL. There are plenty women who do this and plenty that do not. Nice generalization though. LOL

Blog Females *Well let me ask yoll this? Just out of curiosity, percentage-wise, how much of your leisure conversation is typically spent on your girlfriend and how much is spent on your man/SO/husband?

By SexyLeggs

February 25, 2008 1:30 PM | Link to this

Don’t forget A Raisin In The Sun this evening

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 25, 2008 1:31 PM | Link to this

Simp “What you think about that ole azz woman the married that kid a few years back? she was released from prison on friday. will she get her kid back?”

You’re late, man. They’re already making plans to reunite.

SMH

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 1:31 PM | Link to this

QDT, this is it hommie!!! LMAO Enjoy your day I have…LOL

By Wow

February 25, 2008 1:33 PM | Link to this

ALL Who’s married or single? And age?

By AmazonRed

February 25, 2008 1:33 PM | Link to this

Cat Lady - Guess I struck a nerve. Why are you salty? Did you run out of Meow Mix this morning?

Anyway, have a good one.

By Beautiful

February 25, 2008 1:33 PM | Link to this

CAT LADY was that called 4? you only wish you were ARed! she’s one of the females on this blog that got her shyt together. go sit down somewhere!

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 1:33 PM | Link to this

QDT, this is it hommie!!! LMAO Enjoy your day I have…LOL

By SlimOne

February 25, 2008 1:34 PM | Link to this

Fellas So there are obviously going to be things that you don’t like about a potential SO, even though the good outweighs the bad. Would you all consider a woman staying with a guy, who’s only issue to her is he cheats often, as her settling or what?

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 1:35 PM | Link to this

QDT, this is it hommie!!! LMAO Enjoy your day I have…LOL

By Raqi

February 25, 2008 1:36 PM | Link to this

Darrell that is a very good article. I can very much relate to it in many ways.

By Rell

February 25, 2008 1:37 PM | Link to this

@QDT

You also have to understand that you will have to do half the house work, cook half the meals, and pleasure yourself half the time.

PREACH BROTHER!!!!!!!

and i cosign what you say!!!

By Wow

February 25, 2008 1:38 PM | Link to this

@*Blue_Kolla * I spend less then 30% on both….

By THE INFAMOUS DK

February 25, 2008 1:39 PM | Link to this

Amazing Red The conversation I was referring too was the entire Blog conversation.. Couldnt wait to be snippy could you..

Mq Men dont try and fix ya’ll.. Reread my post and then rereads Que’s he says it a little better than i do.. I’ll admit I can be a bit abrasive.. You might not remember me from The Filthy Villianous DK days.

Pile on ladies i have a strong back and broad shoulders.. The truth! You can’t handle the truth

By Blue_Kolla

February 25, 2008 1:41 PM | Link to this

mqew Noooooo why would you want to “fix” us and mess up your jump off?!! Nicca pls!

this wasn’t my called play, but I was open and took the shot…

By Simp

February 25, 2008 1:41 PM | Link to this

Sexy, they actually had a kid together and they got married. she was arrested for molestation. What’s with the pastor thats been raping the forter kids for 35 years

By AmazonRed

February 25, 2008 1:42 PM | Link to this

Beautful - Thanks for the back up and kind words?

DK - It was only snippy if you read it that way. Try reading it again with a smile on your face or something.

By Jazzyone

February 25, 2008 1:43 PM | Link to this

Okay here comes the haters this afternoon..

Blue How much time talking to friends?? I would say 5 % with females and 95% with my men folk I don’t do a whole lot of chit chatting with chicks and certainly don’t run a whole lot of conversations with dyk I ain’t goinna get…we keep it light and general Im really not into divulging the inner working of mine with allot of people…and don’t let a thrid party come tell me something bout mine then we have a SOS cause Im not into that at ALL.

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 1:43 PM | Link to this

QDT, just read your post again and it bes the truth! Great Post!!! You get an A!!:) But for real with time I have come to learn that list and give and take is not lowering stanards…J

By SexyLeggs

February 25, 2008 1:43 PM | Link to this

CatLady, ARed can definitely hold her own and will be committed to a man sometime in the future…no living w/cats for her. Put your dukes up, because she’s coming at you.

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 1:45 PM | Link to this

QDT, just read your post again and it bes the truth! Great Post!!! You get an A!!:) But for real with time I have come to learn that list and give and take is not lowering stanards…J

By AmazonRed

February 25, 2008 1:46 PM | Link to this

If the wife works 40+ hours like the husband does, then yes, you’d better prepare for contributing half to the housework, meals and pleasure. Lazy negroes. LOL

Wow - I’m 30, single and dating. And I’m also a Sagittarius who likes long walks on the beach. LOL

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 1:47 PM | Link to this

QDT, just read your post again and it bes the truth! Great Post!!! You get an A!!:) But for real with time I have come to learn that list and give and take is not lowering stanards…J

By CAT LADY

February 25, 2008 1:47 PM | Link to this

QUEDOG Sadly this sounds like me. We understand that she is totally business oriented, likes to talk a lot, and can support herself, and is an earner. But we understand that she will argue in public, and you won’t just be able to tell what to do. (But if you put it on paper in a list format she will complete every task.) You also have to understand that you will have to do half the house work, cook half the meals, and pleasure yourself half the time

I need to work on that…except the last line…I can take care of that ALL the time. But yeah %50 50 works for me.

By The Truth

February 25, 2008 1:50 PM | Link to this

Alvin I didn’t settle and looking back I got a dam good woman. Although marrying her was the best thing to happen to me so was divorcing her. Otherwise I would never be at this great point in my life. You never have to settle if your expectations are reasonable.

Slim I would consider that woman practical. Why ditch a dude that cheats when there’s a pretty good chance the next guy is going to also?

By AmazonRed

February 25, 2008 1:50 PM | Link to this

SexyLeggs - I’m cool. I love the trolls that follow my every word. Cat Lady has just earned herself an extra month free in the “AmazonRed fan club.”

I’d be nothing without my fans! LOL

By THE INFAMOUS DK

February 25, 2008 1:51 PM | Link to this

Amazon Amazing Re Re Dont flatter yourself.. said with a yawn

By Blue_Kolla

February 25, 2008 1:53 PM | Link to this

Wow I spend less then 30% on both… Do you see where this could be a problem?

DK Pile on ladies i have a strong back and broad shoulders.. The truth! You can’t handle the truth

Back to being the Resident MuthaFukka ha? LOL

Jazzy Im really not into divulging the inner working of mine with allot of people…and don’t let a thrid party come tell me something bout mine then we have a SOS cause Im not into that at ALL.

Slims operatin’ under this MO (^^^) are the exception and not the rule. You know it, I know it, and they know it. I was just wondering if anyone was going to own up to it.

By SlimOne

February 25, 2008 1:53 PM | Link to this

WOW UN-married & 29 going on 30 this June

Que It’s funny the way you put it but your post definitely gets the point across. I guess it sort of answers the question chicks have when you see a dayum near dime man with someone who, from outside looking in, isn’t as attractive as he is. I mean I can attest to seeing a fyne dude with a scalawag looking chick. I think to myself…homegirl MUST be doing splits, tricks, back-flips and triple axisles in the bedroom. OR she can be pretty good at helping him feel like the man he is. Go figure.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 25, 2008 1:53 PM | Link to this

Slim “Would you all consider a woman staying with a guy, who’s only issue to her is he cheats often, as her settling or what?”

For me, this isn’t simply a matter of the woman “settling” (which she is), but it’s also one of what I call unhealthy dependency (emphasis on the word unhealthy.)

It should go without saying that in a relationship, both parties are “dependent” upon each other to have certain needs met and fulfilled. However, for a woman to put herself in the position of being so dependent upon a man to where she puts up with a pattern of cheating on his part, is both unhealthy and unnatural. She obviously doesn’t have a clue of her own self-worth and could use some help coming to that realization.

By AmazonRed

February 25, 2008 1:56 PM | Link to this

DK - Not flattery, it was reality. My comment wasn’t snippy, you just took it that way. But apparently, your boxers are in a bunch about something and the childish name calling is starting. So farewell to this convo.

Hope your day gets better or something.

By kayla

February 25, 2008 1:56 PM | Link to this

Whaddup!!

Just out of curiosity, percentage- wise, how much of your leisure conversation is typically spent on your girlfriend and how much is spent on your man/SO/husband?

The time spent it based on many factors so not sure I can give an accurate percentage on that one. I can say that I can spend hours talking to him on the phone if he’s participating in the conversation. I can chat with the best of them but (alright, ok, um hmmmm) is not always the appropriate response to everything..which you will know if you’re listening. :-)

Remember being in high school, “you hang up, no you hang up” LOL. Those were the days.

Oh, and contrary to popular belief, women do not always do everything their girlfriends say or believe that their girlfriend is the expert on relationships when conversing about men. I know what girlfriend to call when I need someone to be on my side and what girlfriend to call when I need the truth (someone to call me on my bs)LOL. Truthfully, I call the latter more than the former these days.

By Beautiful

February 25, 2008 1:57 PM | Link to this

The Truth so was i wrong for leaving (the cheater)? of course not Beautiful, you did the best thing for you. thanks babe. lmao.

By Blue_Kolla

February 25, 2008 2:00 PM | Link to this

Red I’d be nothing without my fans! LOL

You got ‘em too! Even I was surprised at how fast they were to hoist you flag, shout your name, and lick the toe of your pointed stiletto. Dayum.

But being a Sag, I can understand that ever-present taste of arrogance.

By Jazzyone

February 25, 2008 2:01 PM | Link to this

Wow Unmarried, 41 and dating my azz off baybeh Blue Yeah I forgot good point.

By Beautiful

February 25, 2008 2:01 PM | Link to this

BigD your 1:53, i love you for that. ^5.

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 2:02 PM | Link to this

WOW, Happily Divorced, 28/29 in Aug, single but love dating @ the moment…

By SeanJohnson3000

February 25, 2008 2:03 PM | Link to this

@ Catlady…thats the typical female….and one of the worse ones to be in a relationship with…No offense…

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 2:04 PM | Link to this

WOW, Happily Divorced, 28/29 in Aug, single but love dating @ the moment…

By CAT LADY

February 25, 2008 2:05 PM | Link to this

WOW 27 yr old and single no kids…..I love it and hate it though all at the same time.

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 2:06 PM | Link to this

WOW, Happily Divorced, 28/29 in Aug, single but love dating @ the moment…

By Jazzyone

February 25, 2008 2:06 PM | Link to this

My mother can’t even tell me how I should run mine..but now my father..he is the one who taught me how some of the game is parlayed so yeah he has allot of input at times on how Jazzy should mauever around these men folk specially when it comes to splitting the yolk..whatevs….

By kimmie

February 25, 2008 2:08 PM | Link to this

Whenever I see at topic like todays, I know it’s going to be hot, but I know the ladies are going to get beat up on. I know the guys are only giving their opinion, but most of the comments are not really uplifting. The point is, men and women are DIFFERENT! A lot of things you men observe about us that you think are irrational, we think the same about you and some of your ways. Men & women are made up differently and, when the right two get together, compliment each other and balance out each others strengths & weaknesses. I would hope that a blog such as this allows us to have a glance at how the other thinks. I know you guys have a “blog image” to uphold, but like it or not, the ladies are just giving their opinion/experiences/observations just like you are! And a lot of your sweeping generalizations just don’t apply to most of the ladies on this blog, at least they don’t appear to. Most seem to have their stuff together - just dealing with the ups & downs of life like everyone else! But no, when you guys put your sh— on here, we ladies have to chalk it up as well, that’s how they think, so we better take note and accept it, but that mindset does not apply to you guys!

As for men not trying to fix - you’d be surprised at the number who have tried to FIX me and other ladies I know, they just go about it differently than women.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

February 25, 2008 2:09 PM | Link to this

WOW happily divorced as well (Lady J), 32 and single and dating

By Wise Diva

February 25, 2008 2:09 PM | Link to this

SeanJ…LOL @ No Offense. Hilarious.

Alright, let’s retract the claws. Don’t make me pull a Bella on you! LOL

By Tazzee

February 25, 2008 2:10 PM | Link to this

Blue_Kolla I’m not much of a phone talker and neither is my guy. With that said - he and I talk daily. Because I have more girlfriends than men, if you add up all the time then yes I talk to my girlfriends more. But my girlfriends and I don’t talk about my man and I only seek advice about my relationship from one married female. And whenever my man calls, it’s ‘goodbye’ to the girls.

By LegalCutie

February 25, 2008 2:14 PM | Link to this

I can understand the article’s perspective and even where she’s coming from. I think she hit the nail on the head in many ways. However, I don’t think she quite framed the issue correctly (or at least a way that’s digestible to many readers).

This concept of “settling” (with its exceedingly negative connotation) really only enters the fray when you just have this “perfect vision” of the person you should (in your mind) be with in order to have your happily ever after. If you hold that vision in your mind too strongly, you could lose sight of some amazing people who don’t quite come in the package that you expected. And ultimately, I think this is what the author of this article was trying to get at.

So the guy is 5’8” rather than 6’2” and he’s an engineer rather than a financial guru. And rather than being a former college football player, he plays squash now and then. But you’re very attracted to him and you think he’s a wonderful person. He makes you laugh and you feel pretty darn good whenever you’re around him. He shares the same vision of his future, and he has the same values that you do in life. Not to mention, the guy thinks you’re pretty darn swell as well and wants to spend the rest of his life with you.

How in the world is that settling?

Now, I do have one MAJOR gripe about the article overall.

I really, really, REALLY do not like how she suggests that having someone and feeling alone in a marriage is better than not having anyone at all.

That’s really not, in my opinion, the right frame of mind to take. Many times for folks it is NOT better “to have someone rather than no one” particularly if being with that other person makes you feel miserable and/or trapped. What a sad state of affairs.

I think it’s okay to go with the guy who, while the super intense passion may not quite be there, you find attractive and will make a good long term partner with whom you can be content. I do NOT think it’s okay to go with someone just to have someone.

It’s not about “settling” or “not settling” but being willing to be open to the possibilities and gifts that different folks can offer you.

By Wise Diva

February 25, 2008 2:15 PM | Link to this

well said Kimmie! and welcome Kayla!

By THE FILTHY VILLIANOUS DK

February 25, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this

Big ups!! To all my haters!! Dey know!! Ha Ha!!

By Maureen Dowd

February 25, 2008 2:19 PM | Link to this

“The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.”

By SlimOne

February 25, 2008 2:19 PM | Link to this

Darrell So you are assuming that if a woman stays with a man that she is overly dependent on him?

What about in regards to Truth’s response to the question: I would consider that woman practical. Why ditch a dude that cheats when there’s a pretty good chance the next guy is going to also?

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 25, 2008 2:20 PM | Link to this

Kimmie Your 2:08 (about differences between men and women) is one reason I posted a link to that article earlier.

By Tazzee

February 25, 2008 2:20 PM | Link to this

WOW 37, never been married, no kids and loving life.

By Blue_Kolla

February 25, 2008 2:22 PM | Link to this

Kimmie As for men not trying to fix - you’d be surprised at the number who have tried to FIX me and other ladies I know,…

Now what specifically, were dudes trying to fix, if I may ask?

And Slim, you know that no one is even remotely suggesting that you remain with a cheater. That’s being a dumb azz… I mean weak and low in self-esteem.

By IslandGirl

February 25, 2008 2:23 PM | Link to this

Darrell…the article is very well written and there are great points made especially the section on contempt. I have mixed feelings on “The pause to consider section”. I understand there is reason for a person’s behavior, but does that mean you should always be forgiving?

Real and Que…great posts.

Slim..If she is unhappy with the fact her man cheats (as she very well should), then she is definitely settling. If she is not married to the guy then why is she sticking with him? I don’t care how good a man treats you; if he finds it necessary to cheat then he is not worth keeping. jmo

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st

February 25, 2008 2:24 PM | Link to this

SJ3000 Whaddup…You got my tix for the jayz and mary concert? And why is it so bad to be in a relationship as you say “typically” female. What’s wrong with the 50/50? Okay how would it be if you had it your way? What would she do and say?

WOW 27yr, single

By The Truth

February 25, 2008 2:25 PM | Link to this

Nice post Kimmie

By mqew

February 25, 2008 2:25 PM | Link to this

BK My SO and I are at the point where we are runnin our household like a bizness. We don’t have much leisure talk. I don’t talk to him like I do to my girl about this (http://jezebel.com/359633/extended-sex-and-the-city-trailer-)
AND, I also don’t tell my girls every thing. I don’t have time to talk to them that much, and when I do, it’s either Whassup, what we doin tonight or about lyfe in general NOT Gurrrl I can’t believe SO said a b c…, what you think he meant?

By Blue_Kolla

February 25, 2008 2:26 PM | Link to this

Tazzee And whenever my man calls, it’s ‘goodbye’ to the girls.

Alright Barack’s Sister. Good one.

By THE FILTHY VILLIANOUS DK

February 25, 2008 2:27 PM | Link to this

Like 40 dont save em!! Dey Know!

By mqew

February 25, 2008 2:30 PM | Link to this

QDT Nice post. Not that you were looking for it, but I co-sign.

By Raqi

February 25, 2008 2:31 PM | Link to this

BlueK most of my leisure conversation is with my husband when I am at home. Usually when one of my friends call me or I call them if it is not for business the call only last a few minutes. If we are visiting or hosting I am usually talking more with my friends. I can talk to the man when I get home.

By Got that?

February 25, 2008 2:32 PM | Link to this

WOW 35, single, never married, 0 snot-nosed rugrats

By SexyLeggs

February 25, 2008 2:32 PM | Link to this

…And whenever my man calls, it’s ‘goodbye’ to the girls. ^5! That’s how it should be!

By Tazzee

February 25, 2008 2:32 PM | Link to this

LegalCutie - great post.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 25, 2008 2:32 PM | Link to this

Slim “Darrell So you are assuming that if a woman stays with a man that she is overly dependent on him?”

WOW! I was sure I was clear with respect to the context of what I said that post. The “qualifier” was that the dude is a consistent CHEATER and she’s still with him. That’s why I characterized her the way I did.

By Jazzyone

February 25, 2008 2:33 PM | Link to this

I’d would venture out and say that a man cheating on a woman and she stays?? Well if thats not chaning a sistah I don’t know what it is LOL.

By SlimOne

February 25, 2008 2:34 PM | Link to this

Blue & IG I was just asking since the topic was settling…and more times than not, the situation resembles that example i provided. Unless of course, it’s the more extreme case of a guy beating on his chick.

Blog MEN So how do you handle a chick trying to get loud or show out in public?

By IslandGirl

February 25, 2008 2:34 PM | Link to this

WoW…35 and dating

By Page1908

February 25, 2008 2:36 PM | Link to this

Wow 33, single, no kids; I am dating right now and I kinda like one dude a lot.

By QueDogTeaching

February 25, 2008 2:37 PM | Link to this

Lady J Thanks**

Lady J Thanks**

Lady J Thanks** just catching up.

As a man we want what makes us most comfortable. Comfort does not come when your woman gives her all at work, then being mother of the team, and then have no time to comfort you at home. And the majority of real men don’t want anything big.

Really how hard is it to bring me a beer back from the kitchen if you notice mine is getting low. How hard is it to learn how I like my plate of food and fix it that way. How hard is it to gauge how my day went when I walk into the house, before unloading your day onto me. How hard is it to come out of the shower, buckett nakkeed and glistening with water, and say “hey boo missed you, now tapp this”

Just asking.

and before all the women start asking what you get, we are talking about you right now. Stop and think about the question above, and the question above only. And by all means don’t say you will do this, tell me what you are doing on a consistent basis.

By kimmie

February 25, 2008 2:38 PM | Link to this

Darrell - Thanks, I am going to pull it up when I get home. Folks kinda funny up here at work, lucky I can even go on this site!

Wise - Thanks!

Slim/Truth - Maybe she’s not being practical, but tired of exposing herself to disease, or just living in the type of relationship where she’s not respected. See this is the problem when you allow others to determine your worth. He has decided she’s not worthy of better treatment and she’s decided the same. She can’t put every other guy in the same catagory. To thine self be true! JMHO OKAY!

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 25, 2008 2:40 PM | Link to this

IslandGirl “I understand there is reason for a person’s behavior, but does that mean you should always be forgiving?”

I can only speak for myself on that one. As a Christian, the answer to your question is, yes, I must always be forgiving. However, the important thing to remember is that forgiveness doesn’t always mean the absence of consequences. (This is a key aspect of forgiveness that many of us fail to understand.)

For example, I could forgive you for cheating on me with another man (or vice versa), but that doesn’t necessarily mean I won’t leave you. My forgiving you means only that I’ve decided to not hold that wrong against you so as to make you “pay” for what you did to me. My leaving you isn’t making you “pay”; it would simply be me doing what’s best for me under the circumstances, that’s all. No hard feelings. I go my way and you go yours.

By 6'1 & Luvinit (AKA don' it all)

February 25, 2008 2:41 PM | Link to this

QDT-woof, woof, woof, from the cute little dogg pound (toy breed), my brother u hit that shyt right out the park, and the nail on the head at the same time. Can I get an AMEN!! Now back to the regularly scheduled programming.

By The Truth

February 25, 2008 2:41 PM | Link to this

Slim depending on the chick anything from a chill out to stomping her into a coma. Situation dictates.

By SexyLeggs

February 25, 2008 2:42 PM | Link to this

Well QDT wish I could answer your questions. You’d be surprised, but since I can’t….(LOL)

SlimOne, get ready! I remember one saying he would walk away, and another saying he has a “look” and if she doesn’t take heed, he’d walk too.

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 2:43 PM | Link to this

Page we all have that one dude/lady we like and for some reason it is the person we can’t have for some reason or the other…Life huh! LOL

By mqew

February 25, 2008 2:44 PM | Link to this

DK Oh and I know, I heard you. Men don’t try to fix women. They would rather have them as a jump off. GOTCHA! again nicca pls AND I think someone said earlier, you need to find out why you’re runnin into the ones that need to be saved. Oh, wait a minute, thas what you want because those are the jump-offs riiiight

By SeanJohnson3000

February 25, 2008 2:44 PM | Link to this

@ Blow…i got MY tickets for the concert..you didnt give me half the money ms 50 cent…to answer your question….read exactly her strong points compared to her weaknesses….and from a male stand point…i can see this woman as being a very good business partner…meaning we can “get” money together..but as far as being a woman/lover/so…she is lacking in that dept…her mouth shows she wont be respectful…and i give respect so i demand it….and her kitchen and bedroom work ethic is suspect..so in my eyes..females like that are not compatible for key ingredients i look for in a woman…like i said typical educated black female in the A.

@ Slim….depending on how serious i am with the female….normally “Who do you think you are talking to” is enough…if a female continues to NOT be a lady in public..i will walk off….and lay in wait and for her to walk to the car…where i administer a “banned’ police choke hold on her and ask her repeatedly who did she think she was talking to 7x’s….

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 2:45 PM | Link to this

Page we all have that one dude/lady we like and for some reason it is the person we can’t have for some reason or the other…Life huh! LOL

By Tazzee

February 25, 2008 2:46 PM | Link to this

QDT I see nothing wrong with the things you’ve mentioned in your post.

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 2:47 PM | Link to this

Page we all have that one dude/lady we like and for some reason it is the person we can’t have for some reason or the other…Life huh! LOL

By Kara

February 25, 2008 2:50 PM | Link to this

stomping her into a coma (is that what you saw growing up?)

police choke hold on her and ask her repeatedly who did she think she was talking to 7x’s (typical man in the A?)

Ike Turner would be proud of you guys.

By Demi

February 25, 2008 2:51 PM | Link to this

Blog MEN So how do you handle a chick trying to get loud or show out in public?

I don’t know Slim, I spot those women quickly and walk in the opposite direction…You don’t rise your voice with Demi.

By Jazzyone

February 25, 2008 2:51 PM | Link to this

I don’t see anything wrong with your expectations QDT..hey you could get it…take care of ya man and no one else will have to do your light weight work. The stuff you mentioned is a general caring that you show your man..JMO tho…

By kimmie

February 25, 2008 2:52 PM | Link to this

BK - From how I wear my hair to how I cook(which needs no fixin’, cause I can burn & even cater on the side). One was p** because I did not pledge & was not bougie enough for him. The list goes on. It’s okay, because I’ve always had a strong sense of self and my parents encouraged high self-esteem, so I did not sweat it. I have no problem learning from someone, but when I get a sense that I’m somehow not enough, therein lies the problem. The other persons’ unhappiness with ME is apparent, so unless you are willing to accept that I’m going to change my hair every once in awhile, maybe you better bounce:)! Notice I’m not generalizing all men, just been my experience.

By Tazzee

February 25, 2008 2:52 PM | Link to this

But I will say this - How hard is it to gauge how my day went when I walk into the house, before unloading your day onto me. is one of those instances when I would talk to my girls more than my man. When my man is having a stressful week at work and I’m going through something too - I go to my girls for comfort so that I can be clear when he’s ready to vent about work.

By mytwocents

February 25, 2008 2:53 PM | Link to this

Darrell Thanx, that article is SO on point! I’ve expressed these sentiments to some of my girlfriends at the risk of sounding preachy (w/ my single self) and get the raised brow… especially from those who claim to enjoy their ‘obedient’ mates. It disgusts me! There is such a danger in “fixing” as I believe it ultimately emasculates men, leaving less of a man for the next woman to deal with. And the part about pausing to consider the backstory - that is well applied to anyone you have some sort of relationship with, but again, many PEOPLE prefer to go with a victim mentality & decide everything is a personal attack. And that last sentence is me, trying to use my powers for good instead of evil. :)

By Blue_Kolla

February 25, 2008 2:54 PM | Link to this

Mqew My SO and I are at the point where we are runnin our household like a bizness. We don’t have much leisure talk. I don’t talk to him like I do to my girl about this…

And your bizniss is thrivin’ ha? Let me give you the real, you might want to immediately incorporate regularly scheduled staff meetings. If you don’t the secretary will, and eventually have ya boy feelin’ froggy enough to pull an Enron, thereby leaving you holding the bag.

Funny story-Had a gf once that was always yack-moufin’ on the phone with her girls. I commented to her on it a few times, to no avail. So in response when chicks called, I’d let ‘em chat me up. Do you that slim had the nerve to talk ish about it? probably cuz she knew that ex’s were on the phone. LOL

Raqi most of my leisure conversation is with my husband when I am at home.

That’s the way it should be, since he’s the one holding the legs.

By IslandGirl

February 25, 2008 2:54 PM | Link to this

Darrell..I should have be more clear on what I meant by forgiveness, but I totally agree with you. I am also a christian and understand that I should not hold contempt or bitterness in my heart towards any person. So forgiving the person is expected, but making a decision to accept the behavior and remain in the relationship is definitely not what would be best for me. I totally agree with you.

However that is not the message I got from the author in that article. It seems that one is expected to remain patient and forgive the behavior (be more accepting).

By Dushawn

February 25, 2008 2:55 PM | Link to this

LadiesDo you cater to you SO sexual needs?

Even when you don’t feel like it.

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 2:56 PM | Link to this

mqew you on a roll today…Everyone have a great evening…Regards for my bootleg blogging…J Great blog day as well Diva!

Peace!

By Poppa Grande

February 25, 2008 2:57 PM | Link to this

Slim I have left a date that ended a date early because of a “Tasha Smith”. (Tasha Smith is the “loud one” in the Tyler Perry movies…she was the mother of Daddy’s Little Girls and the loud, cheating wife in Why did I get married?)

I actually ended a date early (kinda like those bad one on the TV show “Blind Date”). I paid for dinner and got her a cab, then we were done. It just plain disrespect. I can not and will not tolerate disrespect.

That had been and always be my dealbreaker. The wife knows it, and I’ve told her. However, I’ve told my wife that I will never ask anything of her than I am not willing to do myself.

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 2:58 PM | Link to this

mqew you on a roll today…Everyone have a great evening…Regards for my bootleg blogging…J Great blog day as well Diva!

Peace!

By Beautiful

February 25, 2008 2:59 PM | Link to this

we all have that one dude/lady we like and for some reason it is the person we can’t have for some reason or the other

been there.

By Ticked

February 25, 2008 2:59 PM | Link to this

Its sex, good food, a clean house, keeping myself looking good and the kids. I just make dh think he’s the ruler of the world and he’s happy, in truth I am

By For Real

February 25, 2008 2:59 PM | Link to this

Maureen What makes you deserving of anything?

Slim Sticking with some that is lies isn’t a good look. The basis for all relationship is trust. So, no it not settling. It’s chosing to be lied to and if you know that person is lying, then is really a lie?

kimmie I understand your intent but if you read post here, all but 1 maybe 2 women on the blog end game is marriage. So, if they have been applying their own particular plan for the past (insert number of years) to get “Mr. Right” and they have thus been unsuccessful, wouldn’t it be logical or rational for a person to look at their plan and question why the plan isn’t working. Here is where most men and women differ, a man would say to himself, *This ish ain’t working I got to try something new but woman will say This trifflin azz dudes ain’t about ish or I thought I was with a man but he still a boy, or No matter what I have done, nor does it matter what choices I have made, God will send the Mr. Right to me in his time. All I got to do is keep doing me. All you get is excuses, excuses and no accountability from women. It’s either the man fault or God ain’t ready to send Mr. Right. Because all women deserve to be happy no matter what they do or don’t do. That is the point of that lady’s article.

By QC

February 25, 2008 3:00 PM | Link to this

WHY DO THEY HAVE THE “AIR” ON IN MY DEPARTMENT…IT AIN’T EVEN HOT IN HERRE…GEESH

By Lady J

February 25, 2008 3:00 PM | Link to this

mqew you on a roll today…Everyone have a great evening…Regards for my bootleg blogging…J Great blog day as well Diva!

Peace!

By Beautiful

February 25, 2008 3:02 PM | Link to this

*LadiesDo you cater to you SO sexual needs?

Even when you don’t feel like it.*

she’s being selfish.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 25, 2008 3:02 PM | Link to this

IslandGirl

I concur with your 2:54 (on both counts.) Good post. :-)

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st

February 25, 2008 3:02 PM | Link to this

SJ3000….you’re intriguing to say the least…lol. Yeah I guess you got me on the 50/50….But the gentlemen thing to do would be to get it…lol. Still you have yet to mention what’s wrong with 50/50??? So I guess you like shy, timid, SUZY’S. The ones who don’t give you any lip. If you putting it down right and doing the right things…you would not get the ANY of that lip. What are the “key” ingredients? Who is to say her bedroom or kitchen skills are not in tact? It’s different from woman to woman now….You just can’t say that. So ….you want you a woman with no lip, great sex, can cook a mean meal and completely let you run the house hold and let you lead…But yall say our expectations are unrealistic?????

By For Real

February 25, 2008 3:03 PM | Link to this

OH AND IF NOTHING IS PERFECT IN THIS WORLD, THEN YOU DAYUMMM SHO AIN’T GONNA BE TO OBTAIN 50-50 EITHER!

By Blue_Kolla

February 25, 2008 3:03 PM | Link to this

Slim/SeanJ So how do you handle a chick trying to get loud or show out in public?

depending on how serious i am with the female….normally “Who do you think you are talking to” is enough…if a female continues to NOT be a lady in public..i will walk off….and lay in wait and for her to walk to the car…where i administer a “banned’ police choke hold on her and ask her repeatedly who did she think she was talking to 7x’s….

Everything that SeanJ just said right there ^^^ with the exception of the choke down. I ain’t with all that gettin’ physical with a chick. Second offense is a wrap b/c that broad has respect issues and somebody’s gonna end up getting hurt.

By Blue_Kolla

February 25, 2008 3:03 PM | Link to this

Mqew My SO and I are at the point where we are runnin our household like a bizness. We don’t have much leisure talk. I don’t talk to him like I do to my girl about this…

And your bizniss is thrivin’ ha? Let me give you the real, you might want to immediately incorporate regularly scheduled staff meetings. If you don’t the secretary will, and eventually have ya boy feelin’ froggy enough to pull an Enron, thereby leaving you holding the bag.

Funny story-Had a gf once that was always yack-moufin’ on the phone with her girls. I commented to her on it a few times, to no avail. So in response when chicks called, I’d let ‘em chat me up. Do you that slim had the nerve to talk ish about it? probably cuz she knew that ex’s were on the phone. LOL

Raqi most of my leisure conversation is with my husband when I am at home.

That’s the way it should be, since he’s the one holding the legs.

By Demi

February 25, 2008 3:03 PM | Link to this

kimmie sounds like some young dudes to me…now you have me thinking of this sexy bald headed sister I once dated. LOL

By kayla

February 25, 2008 3:05 PM | Link to this

Slim I have a friend that used to ask me to act up in public…literally. It took me years to learn not to go off in front of others and here I had someone asking for it. My lack of the appropriate response led him to believe that I didn’t care…Huh?

I realized around age 27 that I don’t need an audience to get my point across. Me and you alone in a room will suffice. I just give the “look” that makes him wonder when its gonna come and that’s enough for me.

By BRAZILIAN SHONE

February 25, 2008 3:05 PM | Link to this

DON’T LET YOUR MAN GO TO BRAZIL WITH THE BOYS OR BY HIMSELF!!!

We love to stroke American Mandigo’s “egos” :)

By Blue_Kolla

February 25, 2008 3:06 PM | Link to this

Mqew My SO and I are at the point where we are runnin our household like a bizness. We don’t have much leisure talk. I don’t talk to him like I do to my girl about this…

And your bizniss is thrivin’ ha? Let me give you the real, you might want to immediately incorporate regularly scheduled staff meetings. If you don’t the secretary will, and eventually have ya boy feelin’ froggy enough to pull an Enron, thereby leaving you holding the bag.

Funny story-Had a gf once that was always yack-moufin’ on the phone with her girls. I commented to her on it a few times, to no avail. So in response when chicks called, I’d let ‘em chat me up. Do you that slim had the nerve to talk ish about it? probably cuz she knew that ex’s were on the phone. LOL

Raqi most of my leisure conversation is with my husband when I am at home.

That’s the way it should be, since he’s the one holding the legs.

By Jazzyone

February 25, 2008 3:07 PM | Link to this

Seriously tho girls/ladies why date someone you can’t have..that means hes emotionaly unavailible, married or has a chick at the crib…so why put yourself thru that self inflicted pain hunh?? r either he lives in Timbuktu or something adn you live in Egypt..Im just saying..

Can’t stand a loud a* chick period…specially one in public….

By Wise Diva

February 25, 2008 3:08 PM | Link to this

@For Real, Maureen Dowd is a columnist/author, so I think someone was just sharing a quote that she once made. Doubt that is actually her that commented.

By IslandGirl

February 25, 2008 3:09 PM | Link to this

QC..lol..to them it is…you should see the folks walking around in shorts, t-shirts and flip flops since earlier today when the temps was in the 50s.

Dushawn…..yes.

I can not stand loud azz women or men. Just have to be heard before they’re seen.

By Demi

February 25, 2008 3:11 PM | Link to this

Sean/blu/truth but…..them mouthy chicks come with some banging a$$ sex, LOL. At 28, I can’t deal with that foolishness any more…now missing hood chicks

By melo

February 25, 2008 3:13 PM | Link to this

had a meeting, so iam late on all this.wl just lurk.beautiful, babe u getting butterflies,this divorce is taking too long!!

By Demi

February 25, 2008 3:13 PM | Link to this

Mo where are you at?

By Rell

February 25, 2008 3:15 PM | Link to this

@brazil….now thats whats up….i cant wait for my turn down there…i may not come back…..muahahahahahah..but on a serious note…brazil women are fine

By Beautiful

February 25, 2008 3:17 PM | Link to this

melo ummm. what?

By Demi

February 25, 2008 3:17 PM | Link to this

And this the worst Flavor of Love season…thinking about none of those women…they’re acting right?

By For Real

February 25, 2008 3:19 PM | Link to this

Slim If she is my SO then it wouldn’t happen. If she is just a date, then I would leave never to see her again.

3Stacks I can picture you choking ole girl and asking her why she not answering you. Answer me girl!

Grande I couldn’t even be friends with a chick like Tasha Smith.

Kimmie See this is the problem when you allow others to determine your worth. He has decided she’s not worthy of better treatment and she’s decided the same. He didn’t determine her self worth. He decide what she was worth to him. It’s her fault for not thinking better of herself.

By Demi

February 25, 2008 3:20 PM | Link to this

Rell fine ain’t the word dude…be like: Dayum, even the white girls got back LOL

By Got that?

February 25, 2008 3:20 PM | Link to this

Slim, Blog MEN So how do you handle a chick trying to get loud or show out in public? If she’s being disrespectful, rude, childish, and immature, she better have money in her pocket, because she will be paying her own check and taking a cab home. I have no qualms with leaving an immature woman who feels the need to attempt to embarrass me to make a point. Not only will I leave her, I will not tolerate her at all after that. She ain’t my kid, so I can’t lay down the law, but I will sure as hell leave her and never speak to her again.

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st

February 25, 2008 3:21 PM | Link to this

Demi WOw a bit much dont’ you think? Who did you like from last season? I think Miami is cute….

By SexyLeggs

February 25, 2008 3:22 PM | Link to this

WHY DO THEY HAVE THE “AIR” ON IN MY DEPARTMENT…IT AIN’T EVEN HOT IN HERRE…GEESH* because they came from caves and don’t seem to get cold (LOL).

Kayla, what was his reasoning for asking you to act up in public. This is a first for me. Was it because make-up sex was great? Why ask someone to act up in public????

By 6'1 & Luvinit (AKA don' it all)

February 25, 2008 3:22 PM | Link to this

MELO, leave bootiful alone!!!!

By kimmie

February 25, 2008 3:23 PM | Link to this

For Real - What’s wrong with wanting marriage? Also, I just don’t get the vibes you speak of in your last post from most of the ladies here, but again, it’s my opinion. A lot of what they talk about is stuff they observe from others they know too, not necessarily themselves. Yes, the rational thing to do is try something new, if you are not getting the end result you want. I see evidence of ladies on the blog doing just that - some admit they need to get out more, be more proactive, not so quick to be intimate, etc. Like Dr. Phil says “How’s that workin’ for ya?”LOL!

Tazzee - Me & my friends stopped with the “play-by-play” discussions about guys back in high school. One of my best friends told me awhile back about how her aunt told her to find ONE person in a stable, married relationship to talk to about relationship issues. Preferably one in a longterm marriage, so they’ll probably be a little older. You should not go yacking to all your girlfriends about everything that goes down with your man. One of my friends tries to get in the details all the time about my relationship & takes it personal when I don’t devulge. I’ve tried to explain to her my philosophy and encourage her to do the same, but she always comes back with her tail between her legs when all the others she’s yacked to criticise her or give her bad advice!

By pisces08

February 25, 2008 3:26 PM | Link to this

…..did someone say “Brazil”? OMG!

By Beautiful

February 25, 2008 3:26 PM | Link to this

demi i wish flav was my bff. lol. he is so funny. i wish i can tell him that he will never find a women that will love him for him on vh1. they are so playin’ my friend. sad.

By Poppa Grande

February 25, 2008 3:28 PM | Link to this

For Real She might not be like that in reality, but on the screen she is unbearable.

I refuse to catch a case over a chick like that. Plain and simple. (My annual new years resolution is the stay out of jail, a chick like that would put that in jeopady.)

By Beautiful

February 25, 2008 3:28 PM | Link to this

6’1 gurl, you have to ignore melo on particular days. lol. i wonder if his wife knows about this blog.

By QueDogTeaching

February 25, 2008 3:29 PM | Link to this

Slim What I have learned is that commitment does not start when you say “I do”. That is why I laugh at people who say I am waiting until I get married to give my all, yet are still single. If you focus on your mate and leave others alone you will get what you want. Now this may not come from a past relationship because the separation is already there. But it is something that you have to put forth an effort towards in order to make sure you are giving your all.

Also never, never, ever,ever,ever,ever, argue with a female in public. You cannot out talk a woman. And all you do is look as feminine as her. Don’t answer any questions.

Thanks Mqew

By mqew

February 25, 2008 3:29 PM | Link to this

BK dude, I heard ya. But look, pls don’t misunderstand. What works for you, might not work for my SO. I know what he does and does not want/need. So pls believe I don’t have to worry about the Sec. Ifin we’re runnin a biz, successfully, then we’re having the scheduled meetings, correct? Seriously, leisure convo is usually entertainment oriented, to make us laugh or to talk about people. But he would prefer if I deferred the Sex in the City movie talk to my friends.

By Staceye

February 25, 2008 3:30 PM | Link to this

Que looking at your 1:26 post..I am a combo of woman 1 & 3…more of 3 though!

You also have to understand that you will have to do half the house work, cook half the meals of course…if I am working just as you do and paying half the bills..why do I have to foot all the household chores? Do men think women get more engery or hours in the day than them? If we both got a 9-5…just as he is tired when he gets home so is she. But of course you want a Superwoman to help with the bill sby working..but on top of that, cook your meals, clean the house and tend to the children..or dare she not do what you say (even though she is financially equal in bill paying)! UGH! Oh kills me is that the husbands wills ay the wife let herself go. Hmmm..how will she have time to work out and keep her hair and nails done if she is expected to do everything else. But he can come home after work and just sit on his azz! RIGHT! LOL Just venting!

Blue you’re a sag too??? Ahhh..we are all up in this piece!

By Spelman_belle

February 25, 2008 3:31 PM | Link to this

It is my Husband’s role to provide the money to run the household because my money is on my feet and my back and in my personal stock portfolio.

By Blue_Kolla

February 25, 2008 3:32 PM | Link to this

QC/IG to them it is…

I was thinkin’ along them same lines.

Blog Females? In terms of Total Package who is coming in at 7.5-8.5 and not the 9.5’s/10’s that yoll try to portray on this blog.

…now waiting for responses ‘cause I know e’rybody on this blog ain’t no mutha f*******’ 10!

By Beautiful

February 25, 2008 3:33 PM | Link to this

question for the fellas that are drooling? lol. if one of those brazil chicks had nothing going for her only looks, would you marry one? be honest.

By SexyLeggs

February 25, 2008 3:33 PM | Link to this

Beautiful, your friend should know he’s getting played. If he doesn’t just goes to show you ugly dudes believe in their heart of hears that they have the best “game” out there. Sheesh! Prime example of how money can distort the reality surrounding a person.

By kimmie

February 25, 2008 3:34 PM | Link to this

Demi - You would think they were young, but no, you’re talking dudes pushing 40! I actually found younger dudes to be a little more accepting, less likely to want to FIX, more apt to go with the flow!

By Dan

February 25, 2008 3:35 PM | Link to this

Ladies, your worth is equal to that of a man, but your function does not have to mirror his!!!!

By 6'1 & Luvinit (AKA don' it all)

February 25, 2008 3:35 PM | Link to this

More like Twan instead of 6’1 ” Hey Bootiful, gurl what U Doin?” Why did u drop the moniker, u not curious no more because, I got the right prescription for curiousity and being that I am competion with all the other pharmacies all over Atlanta(The Blog) I am giving the real deal for below generic prices. LMAO!!!

By Demi

February 25, 2008 3:36 PM | Link to this

Blow Me I’ve only seen bit and pieces of season 2, so I can only recall Hoopz…I really can’t tolerate that show for look…the host look’s like sin and I am too old to be messing with women on that level…Jazzy, hush!

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

February 25, 2008 3:36 PM | Link to this

Demi In the words of Mystikal, HERE I GO!! :0) I am just lurkin and workin…. you what it is.

By AmazonRed

February 25, 2008 3:36 PM | Link to this

Whew…it is a BEAUTIFUL day outside. You can’t help but be happy today. Had to go down to visit Fulton County services today. Even the county workers were happy and provided great and fast service.

Makes me want to get my Hakeem on and sing “to be loved, to be loved, oh what a feeling to be loooooved!!”

LOL

By Beautiful

February 25, 2008 3:36 PM | Link to this

BK i think im a 7ish.

By SexyLeggs

February 25, 2008 3:37 PM | Link to this

BK, I’ll give myself an 8.5 w/a 10 for a great personality!!!!

By For Real

February 25, 2008 3:38 PM | Link to this

Thanks Wise but I didn’t know what else to call her.

kimmie there is nothing wrong with wanting to get married. That not my point. My point is if your end game is marriage and you are 30 and up and you are not married yet, then change what you are doing instead of making excuses.

Oh and I asked the Dr. Phil question on here once to a blog lady about here plan and she tried to jump down my throat but she never answered the question.

BK I hope MQ heeds your advice. That was on point.

By THE FILTHY VILLIANOUS DK

February 25, 2008 3:39 PM | Link to this

I’m never looking for a Jumpoff..

What women fail to realize is you become a jump off during the dating process because of a misstep not meeting the standard or doing something i cant deal with.. Just as i would become a date buddy if I did something you didnt like.. I may be good enough for dinner and movies but no McLovin.. Your actions dictate how you are to be treated in the scheme of things.

Please and anything I say dont take it personal because after all its not all about you..

By Gina

February 25, 2008 3:40 PM | Link to this

BlueKolla, any woman worth her salt is going to call herself a 10. Go find those low self esteem chicks to talk themselves down somewhere else. That is not the business. I would place a wager that you probably look like Flavor Flav’s twin. Yoll troll looking dudes kill me projecting your issues on other people. Are you a 10?!

By Beautiful

February 25, 2008 3:41 PM | Link to this

Slim you have them restraining order papers handy? j/k lol.

no, make that a 6ish.

By IslandGirl

February 25, 2008 3:42 PM | Link to this

BK….LOL…you’re fool!!!! Where would you stack yourself…..a 10????

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 25, 2008 3:44 PM | Link to this

Beautiful “if one of those brazil chicks had nothing going for her only looks, would you marry one?”

I’ve made my position clear on that whole “looks” thing before, so I won’t be redundant here. But, in a word, no, I wouldn’t marry a Brazilian woman - or any other “ilian” for that matter - based solely on physical appearance. And that’s the honest truth.

By Blue_Kolla

February 25, 2008 3:45 PM | Link to this

Fellas/Beautiful if one of those brazil chicks had nothing going for her only looks, would you marry one? be honest.

Knew that was coming.

Staceye you’re a sag too??? Ahhh..we are all up in this piece!

Cain’t chu tell?! Don’t make me open the flood gates on this wide-ranging, boundless, philosophical mind for real for real. LOL

By pisces08

February 25, 2008 3:47 PM | Link to this

uh………………………………………………………………………………. No.

By 6'1 & Luvinit (AKA don' it all)

February 25, 2008 3:47 PM | Link to this

Being totally honest I would say that I am an 8.5. But A person likes what they like so where as u could be a ten to one person , a five to another or pushing up on an 8 to another, it is really hard to say because everyone likes something different.

By For Real

February 25, 2008 3:48 PM | Link to this

Beautiful ummm Fav is getting PAID for that show. You should feel sorry for those chicks… Wait a minute no you shouldn’t feel sorry for anyone that’s willing to kiss Fav in the mouph for fame and the same amount of money you can for being a test dummy.

Nope I wouldn’t marry her. I would just up grade every two years.

By YOYO

February 25, 2008 3:49 PM | Link to this

so off-topic, but for the ladies who need swimwear for the warm months….go to Vickies Secret, I bought a bikini set for $6.41 (shipping & taxes) including a free tote

At checkout, enter codes BSEXY and SP89829. I got this from GottaDeal!

ETA: The tote will automatically be added when you put the codes in!

By Demi

February 25, 2008 3:50 PM | Link to this

Miami of F.O.L., has a good head on her…we’ll see

Beautiful please tell me you where playing about flav…that dude mind is gone…see: thing1 & thing2..dang near an ugly set of twins

By Got that?

February 25, 2008 3:50 PM | Link to this

Gina, I disagree with you. Any woman worth her salt is not going to call herself a 10. Since that leaves no room for growth and development. Everyone will always have room for growth and development. The insidious nature of low self-esteem causes people to over inflate their own value, as if there’s something inherent therein. If you’re rating yourself, be brutally honest with yourself. You don’t have to be a 10 to love yourself. You don’t have to be a 10 for someone else to love you. I’d rather have a 5 who’s working to be a better person, than a 10 who thinks her sh!t doesn’t stink and thinks the problem always lies elsewhere, not within herself.

By QC

February 25, 2008 3:50 PM | Link to this

Island-G…it’s crazy i gotta step out on the back porch just to get warm….I consider my brother Darrell a 9.89999

By Staceye

February 25, 2008 3:51 PM | Link to this

Beautiful if you are curious..you should have been at Verve Saturday. This chick and her man was trying to take me home!I mean she going hard trying to convince me. Sorry there is not woman in the world to make me go there! LOL

By THE FILTHY VILLIANOUS DK

February 25, 2008 3:53 PM | Link to this

just goes to show you ugly dudes believe in their heart of hears that they have the best “game” out there. Sheesh!

Back then they didnt know me now I’m hot they all on me..

Ya’ll need to stop chasing Benzs and Bimmers then..

By SexyLeggs

February 25, 2008 3:53 PM | Link to this

BlueKolla, any woman worth her salt is going to call herself a 10. I kindly disagree w/you. We aren’t all 10s and should be honest. I have great self-esteem, but I don’t deem myself gorgeous from a physical point of view. I have great banter, a nice personality. Since you say what you say, perhaps if BK asked our point system in different categories, a broader picture of self-worth can be seen!

By Rell

February 25, 2008 3:53 PM | Link to this

@beautiful…they nice to look at but i would not sponsor one…now if she has the skills to add to the kingdome then sure but just going down there to pick one from the favela to keep her from the “drug mule” trade….i will pass

By mqew

February 25, 2008 3:54 PM | Link to this

4 play are you serious. I’ll keep my man from the secretary if me and SO have leisure talk???!! If he wants to phuck off which I’m sure he doesn’t leisure talk would not be the reason. Maybe I’on no wth yall mean by leisure convo.

Amazon Red this weather got me and my girl thinkin where we goin after work. It is nice as he11.

BK I know I am but what are you?

By Cemeeli

February 25, 2008 3:54 PM | Link to this

• i can’t catch up so i’ll jump in.*

Blue…Cee checkin’ in @ 8.5.

Only b/c i scale these -5 for each.

-5 …For that dang “Independance”. A work in progress & still learning in that area. Let a man be a man & should sit my @ down.

-5 …well, thinking this is mostly why i’m still single. I can not play momma with anyone else son, only my own. He does come first.

• .5 Not as observant as the best. Don’t count it against me if you did not explain it in Laymen’s. I have no time or space to figure out what you felt about what i said or didn’t say to appease you.

These are all work in progress and i’ll take any advice and/or reproach.

By Beautiful

February 25, 2008 3:56 PM | Link to this

demi what, you don’t have ugly friends? after watching 3 seasons of him being silly, i can’t help it. lol. what reason do you have for not being flav’s friend if you had the opportunity?

By Blue_Kolla

February 25, 2008 3:57 PM | Link to this

Gina any woman worth her salt is going to call herself a 10. Go find those low self esteem chicks to talk themselves down somewhere else. That is not the business. I would place a wager that you probably look like Flavor Flav’s twin. Yoll troll looking dudes kill me projecting your issues on other people. Are you a 10?!

In the grand scheme of thangs, I’m comin’ in at 8 and some change. I ain’t got that Denzel appeal, but ain’t hardly no Flav either, and my finance game could use a boost, but I’m workin’ on that. I treats people with respect regardless of whether I know them or not. My ex’s still want to bang, so my dyck game is at least pretty dayum decent. Can speak/write intelligently when needed, or can get straight nikka and tell you to… LOL

IG See above. LMAO

By QueDogTeaching

February 25, 2008 3:58 PM | Link to this

Oh Staceye I live by myself, I have no kids, everything I do, I do by myself. That being said, when I get married I don’t expect my wife to do certain things, but I want her to do certain things. There are things that she will probably do better, and there are things that I will do better. We will fill those roles accordingly.

So yes I would want my woman to handle the house, just like she would want me to handle the yard and the cars. I think that each of us has a role in the raising of children, but that is relative to the family set up. I would love for us to keep the more traditional roles. But I am the type of man that also believes in giving everything to my family, they should want for nothing.

By For Real

February 25, 2008 3:59 PM | Link to this

For Real not so gently placing a shovel on Spelman_belle’s back.

2E’s when you are finished go make me a fried boloney sandwich and cut the edges off the bread like I like it.

BK Now you know you will get maybe three responses and the rest will answer with a question or they will come back with a slam.

For Real now slapping the ish out of ARed for medicinal purpose. Oh my bad ARed you didn’t deserve that did you? Sorry I jumped the gun. I was just trying to see if I could beat the others and attacking you first. I’m sorry. Here have some Black Cake.

By Demi

February 25, 2008 4:01 PM | Link to this

Mo I need you to D’catur slap sense into those women on VH1

Kimmie LOL, I meant to say older dudes…in truth most older men try to mold younger women into what they want…I ain’t got time for all of that!!

if one of those brazil chicks had nothing going for her only looks, would you marry one? be honest.

F/K…no, I can’t deal with a woman with no brain…that’s so 1980’s, LOL

By kimmie

February 25, 2008 4:01 PM | Link to this

For Real - I realize you were saying that, I just figured it would be common sense to change the game plan if it’s not getting you the results you want. Common sense is not something I see the blog ladies lacking, all I’m sayin’. Keep in mind too, that sometimes even the best laid plans have LIFE get in the way! I never thought I’d still be single, but I never thought I’d spend the last 10 years being the primary caregiver of my late parents, either.

By Beautiful

February 25, 2008 4:03 PM | Link to this

Staceye my curiosity is at a low right now. if i think of a female, nothing really. but if i think of, let’s say my crush, well then i can’t frickin’ sleep. but for some reason if you put them two together, maybe. a slim maybe.

By SeanJohnson3000

February 25, 2008 4:04 PM | Link to this

@ Rell…and the blog fellas….skip brasil and go to the Dominican Republic….spend 1/3 of the bread and have the same amount of fun…females just as bad.

@ Blow…..u are still wet behind the ears…its not even about wanting a shy or timid female…its about being a lady….u will learn one day

By For Real

February 25, 2008 4:06 PM | Link to this

For Real now staring at QC’s 2C’s. For Real likes the cold temps.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 25, 2008 4:08 PM | Link to this

Beautiful “but if i think of, let’s say my crush, well then i can’t frickin’ sleep.”

So, er’um, what’s the status of this here “blog crush” of yours, anyway? Inquiring minds want to know. ;-)

By 6'1 & Luvinit (AKA don' it all)

February 25, 2008 4:09 PM | Link to this

Bootiful, I am crushed!

By Cemeeli

February 25, 2008 4:09 PM | Link to this

What’s hannein **Mo? Where’s Dreams today or should i say Julio?

…wait just a sec!… okay why are we even grading ourselves???…did not For Real say that we are the worth the “value” someone else view us? So in that case…I had an encounter/convo w someone that made me feel like 100 million bucks. less expected & no need with my content. So if’ my 3:54 can be retracted and replaced with:

I feel like new money!!! Lol - going with that!

By Blue_Kolla

February 25, 2008 4:12 PM | Link to this

For Real For Real now staring at QC’s 2C’s. For Real likes the cold temps.

Mayne you stoopid. LOL

Now you know you will get maybe three responses and the rest will answer with a question or they will come back with a slam.

Those responses and lack thereof spoke volumes though.

By SexyLeggs

February 25, 2008 4:13 PM | Link to this

BK, my post was directed at Gina

By THE FILTHY VILLIANOUS DK

February 25, 2008 4:13 PM | Link to this

Foreign women are alot different than American women..

By For Real

February 25, 2008 4:15 PM | Link to this

For Real now respectfully licking kimmie’s forehead.

3Stacks lol at your comment to Blow. You should have told her don’t talk to stangers and look both ways when crossing the street too.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 25, 2008 4:15 PM | Link to this

I’m out, ya’ll; heading to the gym. Everyone have a great evening and be safe out there. Later. ;-)

By The Truth

February 25, 2008 4:16 PM | Link to this

Sj even cheaper than that stay right here in the atl cuase they got some bad mf’ers right here. LOL Plus you know what the fugg they’re saying.

By Demi

February 25, 2008 4:17 PM | Link to this

Beautiful far as I know, I am the ugliest of my friends and I am a handsome dude, LOL…So no. And I don’t see myself hanging with Flav…he’s a cool dude, but not that cool.

Most women I meet falls under: cute, sexy, and Sista Fine-fine (In my eyes), LOL

Like, why do I feel that Page is bout to rip me a new one?

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

February 25, 2008 4:19 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli what’s up chica!! I guess Dreams is swamped with work like me! lol

I dont think we women degrade ourselves (see Cemeeli’s 3:54) but I think we are being real. We all know that we arent perfect 10’s but to someone and even ourselves we are dayum close. Recognizing your faults just helps. Hell, I have the same faults as Cemeeli listed and maybe take another 2.5 for my emotionless-ness and I am hanging around a 8 and a quarter. :0) BUT to the guy that loves me faults and all I could very well be a 9.999.

By SexyLeggs

February 25, 2008 4:19 PM | Link to this

Have a happy B-day tomorrow Darrell!

By IslandGirl

February 25, 2008 4:19 PM | Link to this

THE FILTHY VILLIANOUS DK I agree.

BK..I consider myself a 9.

By AmazonRed

February 25, 2008 4:20 PM | Link to this

Dang For Real even when I’m lurking/working folks gotta call me out. I didn’t even do nuthin’. rubbing the cheek 4Real just slapped the ish out of

By GaPeach

February 25, 2008 4:21 PM | Link to this

This article must have been reading my mind

Here’s the deal: - divorced at age 30 - enjoyed the non-committal dating life for a few years - had serious relationship for the past 3 years that I thought would REALLY lead to marriage and kids.

Now, here I am two weeks shy of the 36th b-day with no man, no kids, no prospect, etc. The liklihood of my meeting someone, get married, start family before age 40 is slim to none.

Never had any serious interest in adoption, but if I really want a family I now need to REALLY consider adoption as an option.

Btw, I am soo f-ing p** that I wasted the last of the few good reproductive years with an azzhole!!!

We all enjoy life to the fullest around age 30…often without a care in the world. And this fine..but ladies, please plan for the future..even if its a faint remainder in the back of your mind…

By mytwocents

February 25, 2008 4:22 PM | Link to this

Wow Forgot - Just turned 32, no babies, no ex/hubbies.

BK Don’t think anyone’s an overall 10. I’d give myself an 8 in most areas, a 6 in the lowest, which I continue to work on. But someone mentioned perspectives, so I wonder what your top categories would be when it comes to rating, that might capture it better.

By Beautiful

February 25, 2008 4:22 PM | Link to this

good nite y’all! i’ll read ya next monday. be good.

By QC

February 25, 2008 4:24 PM | Link to this

For Real I love the cold temps…it’s just that when it’s in my office it feels different..

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st

February 25, 2008 4:24 PM | Link to this

sj3000 3 stacks….please. I know alot more than you think a do. lmao! So funny. You have no idea. On here it’s my alter ego….BLOW. But it is some truth to the things I say…this is just entertainment. You can’t even tell me what it takes to be a lady. I have yet to read your answer. School us! Since most of the females in ATLANTA don’t know how to be LADIES…..smh.

By Demi

February 25, 2008 4:25 PM | Link to this

Sean on D.R., there is something about a chocolate woman speaking spanish/english in your ear, LOl

DK True, I still love my american women…*just wish more knew have to balance themshelves out

By Blue_Kolla

February 25, 2008 4:25 PM | Link to this

Mo I dont think we women degrade ourselves (see Cemeeli’s 3:54) but I think we are being real. We all know that we arent perfect 10’s but to someone and even ourselves we are dayum close.

There you go. The answer to the question is never the final conclusion.

By Jill

February 25, 2008 4:26 PM | Link to this

Those responses and lack thereof spoke volumes though.- what a genius, maybe, JUST maybe, people don’t care all that much about some lame dude behind a monitor/keyboard asking how they rate themselves. Unless you are trying to get with someone? Are you? You seem to have overinflated your importance a tad dude.

By kimmie

February 25, 2008 4:26 PM | Link to this

For Real -YUCK!!LOL!!!!! For Real now respectfully licking kimmie’s forehead.

By 6'1 & Luvinit (AKA don' it all)

February 25, 2008 4:26 PM | Link to this

Foreign women really are different from american women. I find that alot of foreign women really do not have any inhibitions. Where as american women seem a little uptight.

By Raqi

February 25, 2008 4:26 PM | Link to this

Ladies pay close attention. If you get with a man that offers to do certain household chores in the beginning of your relationship, I don’t care how accustomed you have become to doing them yourself, sit your arse down a let him do it. You will regret not doing so later.

When we first got married the man would offer do things and I would tell him I got it. I was used to doing these things all the time before he came along. Now not only does he not offer too much, but don’t really do those things either. When I asks him why don’t you help me out by doing such and such while I am gone, he answers well you would always tell me that you got so I let you have it. (rolling my eyes)

What I mean is when you ask while I am already doing it, I got it. But when and if I am not here and you see it needs to be done, please be my guest and do it already. PLEASE Sir.

By AmazonRed

February 25, 2008 4:27 PM | Link to this

Ga Peach - It is just the worst feeling when you feel like you “wasted” good years with the wrong person. Stories like yours are the one time I’m glad I drop dudes for seemingly “minor” reasons, yet big red flags for me.

That being said, keep your head up. Your could be swept off your feet tomorrow. You should try online dating if you haven’t already. You still have 4 years before 40!

As a 30 year old, I am pretty carefree, but I do take words of advice like yours and store it in my mental rolodex so thanks. And good luck to you.

By The Truth

February 25, 2008 4:27 PM | Link to this

DK true, you have to be stronger to deal with american women.

Say what you will but when the days done give me a sister anyday. Foreign chicks are cool but its like having sex in florida, its cool but you know your going back home. Sisters, as misguided as some are, are just some sexy chicks. My .02

By pisces08

February 25, 2008 4:28 PM | Link to this

@ARed. How much notice you need?

By IslandGirl

February 25, 2008 4:28 PM | Link to this

GAPeach…I have so many girlfriends in the same situation as you. I think you may have to change your mindset on dating, such as dating outside your race or dating outside of Georgia. Either of the two have brought some satisfaction to some of my friends.

By Cemeeli

February 25, 2008 4:30 PM | Link to this

….dang Mo …i was looking to be straight jacked b/c i put it out there.

If i get a open rebuke from the fellas i feel love. That’s just as it stands with me;

Open rebuke is better than secret love.

I am so cool w/Blue puttin that post out there to grade ourselves. sheeeshh faults/issshus…I’ve got ‘em…

Hi my name is Cemeeli I am not a 10.

By Rell

February 25, 2008 4:31 PM | Link to this

@Sjk…Yea they can get it as well….pananma too…latin women period….but i digress…lol

By AmazonRed

February 25, 2008 4:31 PM | Link to this

Jill - Exactly. LOL

By Staceye

February 25, 2008 4:31 PM | Link to this

Que So yes I would want my woman to handle the house, just like she would want me to handle the yard and the cars yard work and cars are not an everyday thing…so again, if she is working just as many hours as you…why should she have to put in all the housework & cooking? That is for the housewives who have no income earning outside job who nothing but that to do. Not equal hon! Traditional role would be the wife not working. So if you want the woman that does not..then by all means she should do all the house work and cooking. but if you expcet her to work and contribute to the bills…you should work and contribute to the household. Your fingers are broken!

For Real I will make you a sandwich alright..how does that arsenic taste babe? Oh that’s right..it’s tasteless! Muahahahaha!

SJ skip brasil and go to the Dominican Republic….spend 1/3 of the bread and have the same amount of fun…females just as bad claro que si papi! Alla esta mi familia!

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st

February 25, 2008 4:31 PM | Link to this

TRUTH I agree….@ 4:16pm…

By Blue_Kolla

February 25, 2008 4:33 PM | Link to this

.02 so I wonder what your top categories would be when it comes to rating, that might capture it better.

No concrete categories, just a total you, self-eval type of thing.

By Simp

February 25, 2008 4:34 PM | Link to this

Beaut, did I see that you have a crush on Slim. You want all the ladies of the blog?

By Demi

February 25, 2008 4:34 PM | Link to this

Oh yeah Wow 28, single, one child…li’Demi - a future H0es pulla!!

WoW is now beating Demi down with her keyboard

By AmazonRed

February 25, 2008 4:38 PM | Link to this

pisces - Have you forgotten my email addy or something? Let’s take it off the blog, man! LOL

By Staceye

February 25, 2008 4:39 PM | Link to this

Demi Suba para arriba en la cadera de la mama y déjeme tomarle el hogar! LOL

By IslandGirl

February 25, 2008 4:40 PM | Link to this

Raqi…^5..so true.

By SeanJohnson3000

February 25, 2008 4:41 PM | Link to this

@ GaPeach….whats the problem…are you quiting? do you realize women of other backgrounds have kids at 40…if you take care of yourself emotionally and physically….why do you fell a life of happiness with the opposite sx is far fetched?

@ Blow…I ..and all of the stand up guys on the blog tell yall exactly what men want in females…i pay attention to a lot of the female posts and even yours… could school ….but you are hard headed…you need hands own tutoring..if you do well at the combine….you will get an invitation to spring training

By Blue_Kolla

February 25, 2008 4:42 PM | Link to this

Gina/Jill Funny how you two slims just pop out of the woodwork runnin’ off with the the mouf, kickin’ the ball way out of bounds. But’choll know what they say about hit dogs holla’n…

By Cemeeli

February 25, 2008 4:43 PM | Link to this

Raqi Your 4:26 is on point, that same information during my book club meeting over the weekend was shared.

Specifically these same words;

If you get with a man that offers to do certain household chores in the beginning of your relationship, I don’t care how accustomed you have become to doing them yourself, sit your arse down a let him do it. How long or hard for you to move away from being that way? This is one of my independant/”i got it” hats i tend to wear.

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st

February 25, 2008 4:44 PM | Link to this

Staceye They dont want to here the truth! Sis…they can not handle it. They got our roles down to a T…But their roles…ALL you hear is SEE SEE SEE…studdering. lol! They want us to play OUR position but they want to make exemptions to theirs…..Go big or go home!!! Nuff of this $Hit!

By mqew

February 25, 2008 4:44 PM | Link to this

Wow Not telling age, got issue with that. Married for 11yrs and a 13mo old son.

*Blog question: Is it wrong to go to Dugans on Monday?

By Got that?

February 25, 2008 4:45 PM | Link to this

Staceye, I disagree. A man taking care of the house, yard, and cars is a full-time job. I grew up helping my dad around the house. If you live in an apartment, you don’t see it. But if you own a house or a condo, there’s always something to be fixed. Something is always broken or needs to be replaced. That’s why they call it the “honey do” list. A man’s job around the house is never finished.

By Demi

February 25, 2008 4:46 PM | Link to this

Staceye girl, stop before I develope a crush on you…you love putting me on your hips LOL

By Simp

February 25, 2008 4:47 PM | Link to this

GaPeach…..Hold ya head up. I think you need some self time. As for prospects. look this way.

By AmazonRed

February 25, 2008 4:47 PM | Link to this

Staceye - PLEASE let them know. My daddy came home to clean house, settled kids and a full meal every night. But let me tell you that my mother was a stay at home mom! No way she could have run that ship so tight if she had to battle some boss and L.A. traffic.

If I’m bringing home the bacon along with my hubby, then we are an team. That means I work, he works. I do household duties and so does he. It’s only fair.

By pisces08

February 25, 2008 4:52 PM | Link to this

goin underground…

By kimmie

February 25, 2008 4:52 PM | Link to this

Ga Peach Don’t give up, it’s never to late to get exactly what you want in life! Just be thankful you know what you know now at 36 versus later. You just may have to broaden your dating net to maximize your options, as others have said. Don’t let news article or statistics or others have you thinking there are no good men out here or have you thinking you are washed up. Now that your blessing blocker is gone, things will only get better!

By The Truth

February 25, 2008 4:53 PM | Link to this

Blow thats not true. Any cat that can’t state and support his position is just running his mouth. A happy home will always start with a dude handling his business. That frees a chick up to be the women she’s supposed to be vs the chick with a dick she’s forced to be because ol boy is’t handing his buz. also, when a dude does his job he FORCES e1 around them to do theirs. A happy home starts with a good man and exists because of a happy woman.

By For Real

February 25, 2008 4:54 PM | Link to this

For Real now passing the arsenic that 2E’s gave him in her shoes and her closet. Cuse Me!

By Cemeeli

February 25, 2008 4:55 PM | Link to this

mqew are you hooked in those lil bty wings @ Dugan’s or what? But nah…Monday night wings are the same as Friday night…Lol.

Oh now i see why ppl were posting like: Wow - I’m 32, single and no kids. I’m skip,reading like dang they surprised at their own ages and stats…rotflol. NOW i get it!

By Wise Diva

February 25, 2008 4:56 PM | Link to this

Have a great evening, everyone. Thank you for joining in on the discussion today

By Staceye

February 25, 2008 4:57 PM | Link to this

My Sista Blow Me you are soooo right girl! LOL You feel me.

Got That you get to do those yard and car things at your leisure. You do not have to fix somethign everyday (and who’s to say I am not the handy one, I got a little tool time in me), the car does not need fixing on a daily, nor does the yard need to be cut everyday. So please stop acting like that stuff equals the work it takes to cook and clean everyday…on top of working a 9-5. You men want to come home and sit your azzez down in front of the TV with remote while dinner is being prepared and the wife who got home the same time you did washes your funky draws and cleans up after you and the rugrat…oh yeah! I tell you what…for everything you fix, you wife should cook a meal. For everytime you mow the yard, she washed you clothes, then we will see just how many times you go to bed hungry and how many times you have to wear dirty undies! Then we will see just how “equal” that is! LOL

Demi papi ven aqui! LOL

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st

February 25, 2008 4:57 PM | Link to this

CO SIGNED……%100

If I’m bringing home the bacon along with my hubby, then we are an team. That means I work, he works. I do household duties and so does he. It’s only fair.

NOTHING is wrong with that…so on point!

By mqew

February 25, 2008 4:58 PM | Link to this

Raqi 2 words. I wish. He never volunteered nathan. He never had to do anything growing up so…..

By SexyLeggs

February 25, 2008 4:58 PM | Link to this

Good night everyone!

Love is the master key which opens the gates of happiness.

Get some rest and continue to pay close attention!

By Dan

February 25, 2008 4:58 PM | Link to this

I see y’all still at it.

I’ll admit to posting that article Friday…

But after reading it, I kinda struck me that women “of a certain age” begin looking back with regret at the choices they’ve made, esp. in men.

So while no disrespect intended to any of the ladies here, I just wanted to prime you for that regret. Maybe he’s not perfect, maybe she isn’t either; but if he/she is close enough, how do you feel walking away?

Trading in the the beat up, but reliable Honda, for the new model Acura with wiring problems….just a thought. The grass is always greener.

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st

February 25, 2008 5:02 PM | Link to this

TRUTH WHOA!!!!!!!!!!

When a dude does his job he FORCES e1 around them to do theirs.

TRUTH! OMGosh I agree with you 100% that’s the realist thing I ever heard….We can close down the blog on that one! I think I am starting to like you…wow!

By For Real

February 25, 2008 5:02 PM | Link to this

Ga Peach I’m sorry you feel that way. Did you know petting a dolphin is emotionally soothing?

Kimmie Now that your blessing blocker is gone, things will only get better! Awwwww see, I thought we understood each other.

For Real is now licking Kimmie’s forehead with no respect.

By GaPeach

February 25, 2008 5:03 PM | Link to this

@SeanJohnson3000 - not giving up, the breakup is very new so i’m a bit angry right now.. this too shall pass. I just wanted to have 2 kids by age 40. In the end i guess its preference over necessity.

@Simp - thanks to duly noted ;)

@ARed - THANKS!!!

Wish me luck!!!

By GaPeach

February 25, 2008 5:05 PM | Link to this

@SeanJohnson3000 - not giving up, the breakup is very new so i’m a bit angry right now.. this too shall pass. I just wanted to have 2 kids by age 40. In the end i guess its preference over necessity.

@Simp - thanks and duly noted ;)

@ARed - THANKS!!!

Wish me luck!!!

By AmazonRed

February 25, 2008 5:05 PM | Link to this

Dan - I personally feel great about walking away. Maybe it’s because I’m still young. But none of my past relationships were the one for me.

Remember, some of us have been open minded enough to marry, however, some of YOU men have been the ones not ready. I’ve dated a lot of commitment-phobes and I’m glad they were because we would NOT have lasted.

Now, what I can do better at is not always going after the tallest man in the spot. I can be open minded about dating guys who don’t always fit my physical criteria. We’ll see what this current decade will bring.

All in all, at least the article got us talking.

Nite everyone!

By GaPeach

February 25, 2008 5:05 PM | Link to this

@SeanJohnson3000 - not giving up, the breakup is very new so i’m a bit angry right now.. this too shall pass. I just wanted to have 2 kids by age 40. In the end i guess its necessity over preference.

@Simp - thanks and duly noted ;)

@ARed - THANKS!!!

Wish me luck!!!

By Demi

February 25, 2008 5:06 PM | Link to this

Staceye blog hug to you sis, LOL

By Tazzee

February 25, 2008 5:07 PM | Link to this

Acura with problems??? My acuras have been VERY reliable.

Good night all!

By Got that?

February 25, 2008 5:09 PM | Link to this

Staceye, who said I limited it to the maintenance? I don’t know what kind of men you’ve been associating with, but the kind I’ve been around don’t sit around on the sofa and watch TV while the women work. Don’t be so quick to bash men. There are a lot of us out there that do take care of what needs to be taken care of. The problem is is there are these ultra-independent women who don’t know how to ask a man to take care of something without being disrespectful. If a man volunteers to do something for you and you turn him down, it’s almost impossible to get him to do it for you later. That’s what you’re witnessing. A man will gauge what he’s willing to offer in the future based on the response you give him on what he’s offering now. If you come across as “I got it all handled,” he’ll let you be that way even in the future when he’s knows that you don’t. Pride always comes before a crash. Some women never see it coming.

Here’s a tip, when a man offers to help you, accept it even if you can handle it yourself, because you don’t know if it’ll ever be offered again.

By mqew

February 25, 2008 5:10 PM | Link to this

Slim No, not the wings, but the LB.

Truth 100% true!

By GaPeach

February 25, 2008 5:11 PM | Link to this

@SeanJohnson3000 - not giving up, the breakup is very new so i’m a bit angry right now.. this too shall pass. I just wanted to have 2 kids by age 40. In the end i guess its necessity over preference.

@Simp - thanks and duly noted ;)

@ARed - THANKS!!!

Wish me luck!!!

By William

February 26, 2008 9:15 AM | Link to this

In my life experiences I have see women go after the outside appearance more than the total man. Then they usually marry have kids and she is tied down. But not him! He still has it and is playing the field. They divorce and now she is looking a the good enough or the guy who has the appearance inside. He has to settle for a ready made family! Sound familiar ladies?

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st

February 26, 2008 1:20 PM | Link to this

Truth You can’t make demands if you can’t run your own house, and paying the bills is a part of running your house. Thats the way it is. Some double standards run in your favor and some don’t.

Don’t start that today! I completely agree! Right on point! SCHOOL em…I love the one from yesterday.

This is classic!! When a dude does his job he FORCES e1 around them to do theirs. So you are not the MOST diabolical hater I thought you were! Wow! I was wrong about you Truth