Misadventures in Atlanta Blog is on the Move!
Attention Readers! We have moved! The Misadventures in Atlanta Blog can be found here. The new technology will improve our blog and commenting experience. Update your bookmarks and RSS feeds!
AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2008 > May > 06 > Entry
5 Signs He’s Not Interested
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
We have a guest blogger today, the infamous Fly Guy of Fly Guy Chronicles! You may have noticed that he joined in yesterday. Today, he gives the ladies helpful signs when a man’s not interested.
Guys, feel free to respond to his list, do you agree with them? Have you ever shown this kind of behavior? Do you think you could provide more signs? Ladies, read over the list and offer feedback. If some of this behavior sounds familiar. How did you handle it? What signs do you have for the men? How can a guy know when a woman is not interested?
The writing had been on the wall for quite some time now. You just refused to read it. Why? Because as far as you were concerned, you had found the man of your dreams, and there was nothing anyone could say or do to change that. There was however, one slight problem … The feeling wasn’t mutual.
If only you would have paid attention to my “Top 5 Signs That He’s Not Interested” … perhaps this could have all been avoided.
- He never calls first.
Do me a favor and check how many times you’ve called him over the past two weeks. Once you’ve written that number down, compare it to the number of times he’s called you during that same period.
Big difference?
Listen, when you’re the one that calls first … every single time … what he’s actually showing you is that he’s about as interested in you as Naomi Campbell is in attending anger management classes.
- He never attempts to make any plans with you.
Another indicator that he’s not interested in you can be found in how aggressively he tries to make plans with you. Does he immediately come to the table with the “who, what, when, where, and why” of a romantic night out? Or does he talk about seeing you in terms that are about as vague as Al Sharpton’s job description? (After all these years, I still don’t know what he does.)
Side Bar: Late night calls asking you to “come over and watch this movie with me,” don’t exactly equate to him making legitimate plans.
- He constantly cancels the date at the last minute.
You look beautiful tonight. In fact, you always do on date night. But shortly before it’s time for you to meet, the phone rings. It’s him on the other end, beginning the same conversation you’ve heard many times before …
“Hey I’m sorry, but my job is making me work late again. My boss always seems to find a way to keep us apart.”
Fly Guy Translation: “I really don’t feel like going out with you tonight. Plus, I forgot the game was about to come on, so I had to weigh my options. Let’s see: spending money on you … watching the game … spending money on you … watching the game. I think we both know who won that battle.”
- He becomes a master magician (now you see me, now you don’t.)
In the beginning, the two of you would speak several times a day … kind of like Kevin Federline and The Unemployment Office. And just when you thought something positive was about to happen, he up and disappeared … kind of like Kevin Federline and The Unemployment Office.
In fact, you were THIS close to giving up on him; then conveniently, he reappeared. Of course, he apologized and gave his word that it would never happen again. But it did, and the cycle continued … kind of like Kevin Federline and … well you get the point.
- He begins to point out your differences.
A rather obvious sign that he’s not interested is when he starts pointing out your differences … no matter how random or how insignificant they may be. Maybe you like to argue and he doesn’t. Perhaps you’re a Democrat and he’s a Republican. Or maybe you like fried fish but he prefers baked … Doritos to his Sun Chips … Colgate to his Crest … Connect Four to his Battleship … Should I go on?
Here’s the bottom line. By highlighting your differences, what he’s really trying to say is this: “We aren’t made for each other.”
The Fly Conclusion: So now that you know the truth, what’s next? Will you continue to hold out hope that he will one day change his mind and make you the love of his life? Or will you gracefully walk away, and avoid being labeled as the “crazy chick that just doesn’t get it.”
I pray you choose the latter.
Permalink | Comments (384) | Post your comment | Categories: Dating
Comments
By Angie
May 6, 2008 8:23 AM | Link to this
this is the reason why Beautiful is here!
By bigswats
May 6, 2008 8:26 AM | Link to this
good morning all
By Blow Me a.k.a Rookie Cookie
May 6, 2008 8:28 AM | Link to this
Good Morning All
Cheese Grits and salmon patties for all….and some super jaw pinching sweet kool aid
Fly Guy One and only final question…At least for this hr.
WHY DO GUYS HAVE TO PLAY THESE LITTLE BOY GAMES? MAN UP and state the TRUTH!! That’s what develops crazy chicks….the mixed SIGNALS that is being sent out!!!
Oh yeah Fly Guy, I guess you must be a professional at these games as well? Since you know the TOP 5 signs?
Blow is now getting her ammo ready. Go back into the attic to be prepared for today…It’s about to get UGLY!
Wise Diva I hope you schooled him on how CRAZY this BLOG is and gets! lmao!!
By DreamsMaterialize
May 6, 2008 8:35 AM | Link to this
Morning I don’t think chicks have a problem seeing the “SIGNS”. I think they have a problem reconciling those signs with other behaviors that might indicate hope. It’s the mixed messages. I’ve been guilty of this before. Haven’t we all been at some point?
By Kym
May 6, 2008 8:37 AM | Link to this
Good Morning All,
I would think that these “points” would apply even in the case of women. And I wouldn’t say it is just a “He is not interested in you” but a I am not interested in you.
For example..if I am no longer interested in a guy I stop all contact and communication..I literally drop off the face of his earth. Not because he has done anything but because well there is no point in talking to you if we have nothing to talk about.
The pointing out differences is universal in a sign that a breakup is coming or a change is needed because this same ole routine is wearing thin.
But in the interest of well keeping this topic interesting I can say the one I am most familiar with is the magician. I know a guy just like that..now you see him now you don’t. Jack in the Box is what I call him.(Well a broken Jack-in-the-Box) Crank the handle he may pop out or not-depends)
By SlimOne
May 6, 2008 8:39 AM | Link to this
Slim moseying on in all willy nilly
Morning good folks. Had a blast at Kanye West concert, Velvet Room afterparty, and Celebrating Cinco De Mayo….woo hooo hooo. After all that I had to come to work. Bah humbug!
By Angie
May 6, 2008 8:40 AM | Link to this
dreams it’s denial babe. we’ve all been knee deep in it. oh, gm.
By Blow Me a.k.a Rookie Cookie
May 6, 2008 8:45 AM | Link to this
Angie Dead on point…Yes it is denial. That love thing is deadly…It will have you questioning what you already KNOW is right. It’s a tricky game…I just hate to get caught in the downside of it.
By Wise Diva
May 6, 2008 8:46 AM | Link to this
Good morning!! Is anyone hung over from too much tequila consumption? ha ha!
That’s what develops crazy chicks, that’s so wrong to blame men for women’s crazy behavior, LOL
By 6'1 & Luvin it (Don Dada)=Playin both sides
May 6, 2008 8:48 AM | Link to this
Blow Appreciate cha! That really hit the spot. Wise You always come with the good topics. Fly Guy What it do? Good morning everyone! brb
By Angie
May 6, 2008 8:52 AM | Link to this
blow i’m guilty of the he’ll come around thang. and letting him come and go as he pleases. i don’t care anymore how good the d is, now he better look for my 5 signs.
By The Truth
May 6, 2008 8:52 AM | Link to this
Good morning folks.
Blow this food tastes like hamburger grease. Yuck Also, it’s not a game. Some guys just need time to realize how truly undesirable you are.
On topic: Women dont recognize the signs because they’re taught that every guy wants to get with them. Their simply shocked when a guy could give a fugg. LOL
By Darrell (a.k.a. The Pauper)
May 6, 2008 8:54 AM | Link to this
Morning, all. :-)
Not much to contribute on this topic, but I’ll be lurking in the background to see how everything flows.
By Teresa
May 6, 2008 9:01 AM | Link to this
Morn all
By Raqi
May 6, 2008 9:03 AM | Link to this
No. 1 – Jackson
No. 2 – What is that guy’s name????
No. 3 – Reese
No. 4 – Philip
No. 5 – N/A
LOL Hindsight is a bonker. After you have been around for a while these signals come racing at you with flashing red lights and flags.
By DreamsMaterialize
May 6, 2008 9:04 AM | Link to this
Truth funny as hell, but true.
By Blow Me a.k.a Rookie Cookie
May 6, 2008 9:07 AM | Link to this
Truth That is so far from the Truth….And anyway..why you gotta come in here talking all that smack!?!? Seriously? It’s a fine morning and I am trying to enjoy it without all of your stinky remarks. Let’s play fair today. And I do not think EVERY woman thinks every MAN wants her. Different strokes for Different folks.. That goes back to my comment friday. Any woman would be dumb to think EVERY guy is on her jock.
Wise Diva I am not blaming I am saying…Dont play games! Be straight up…If you told the crazy chick WHAT time it really was it be better for you. Alot of women’s annoying behavior can be avoided IF guys would stop lying and not play games. Look at all those 5 signs… let’s be real….IT’S BULL$HIT. It’s LACK of communication…and avoidng the big PINK elephant that is in the room. Let’s get to the bottom of it. It’s 6 freakin words…
THIS IS NOT GOING TO WORK
Angie There you go Angie….Tell him to look for the 5. Yeah it is what it is. When your emotional take control..especially as women..You are not even yourself anymore.
6’1 What it do Girlie!??!
By He's Just Not Into You
May 6, 2008 9:11 AM | Link to this
Haven’t you read the book….”He’s just not into you”? Well, you need to. It is my bible for dating. If he shows any signs of backing off, you be the first one to back off.
The book says “if he is really into you, he will move heaven and earth to be with you”. If he doesn’t, let him go. Nothing you can do or say will make a difference.
And sometimes backing off will make him interested in you again. Ha! Like you would take him back.
By I am Legend
May 6, 2008 9:12 AM | Link to this
@diva..yea i peeped this list yesterday on the site…i am guilty of all 5 signs and lost the chicks to go along with it…what was funny to me is the female list…hilarious
By Angie
May 6, 2008 9:18 AM | Link to this
blow do we have a choice? no. this is the reason why women are tryin’ to be all hard like men. men don’t give a fluck. and we shouldn’t either. if you call a man and leave a message and he doesn’t call back, delete his number from your cell immediately. i don’t want to act this way. but i’m tired of my heart being ripped!
By "Longtime Lurker"
May 6, 2008 9:19 AM | Link to this
What up folks???
Chiming in…
I would agree with the above list, but would add…
If dude seems preoccupied when you call often ( i.e. checking e-mails, long periods of silence on the phone or the classic “lemme call u back” ) he may not be interested.
If you do a walk by more than two times and dude does not look up in your direction or signal for you to come over, he may not be interested in ya!
If dude has never come by your house in a two to three month period, he may not be interested!
If dude does not have your number programed in his phone and only uses the “missed call” log to remember your number, he may not be interested.
If you never hear from dude on the weekends and your messages go strait to VM during this time, dude may not be interested.
If more than 3 days goes by and you don’t hear from dude, take that as a sign that he is not interested.
If dude accidentally returns your “missed call” and says “who’s this?” He may not be interested.
If you e-mail dude and he never reply’s back or says he is busy with work….you know the drill!
These are just a few of my jewels and food for thought…
By shell
May 6, 2008 9:21 AM | Link to this
I have a man-w******* and I do all those things to him. Funny, he probably thinks he’s pulling one over on me. But he’s not the type of guy any woman in her right mind would build a future with. Basically he’s a play thing. He’s sexy and young, but he’s not the man of my dreams. I think we both mutually feel the same, so I don’t think it’s a big deal.
By Jewel
May 6, 2008 9:22 AM | Link to this
Good morning Everyone!
Just dropping in for a second…I agree with Kym that these signs are also applicable to real women, usually after she has plainly told the man that she is not interested.
What signs do you have for the men? I respectfully say, “I am not interested in pursuing a relationship with you.” Personally, I make it a point to say this early enough to avoid any misconceptions that I led him on. Tricks and games are for kids. I have neither the time nor the energy to “drop hints.” Why keep the man (or woman) on life support? Just pull the cord already! LOL! One mistake men have constantly made with me is not believing that I say what I mean, and I mean what I say. Now, the male ego’s discomfort with rejection might render him deaf and dumb, and he may continue to contact me. That is his problem. Fortunately, I have not had any extreme (READ: restraining order) cases. I have tried to master the art of diplomacy, which means letting others to have your way.
By Darrell (a.k.a. The Pauper)
May 6, 2008 9:24 AM | Link to this
Angie “if you call a man and leave a message and he doesn’t call back, delete his number from your cell immediately.”
Okay, so on the “and he doesn’t call back” part, does a brutha at least have a grace period? After all, dude might have been in a car accident or something and you want to “immediately” delete his number?! Cold-blooded LOL!
By I am Legend
May 6, 2008 9:25 AM | Link to this
if he is really into you, he will move heaven and earth to be with you”. If he doesn’t, let him go. Nothing you can do or say will make a difference.
^^^^False…a man will not move heaven and earth…a man will court you according to his experience and belief..those books doom relationships….i think SOME AND MEAN SOME women expect a magician instead of man..they want a show or something to brag about to there friends…..
By Ava
May 6, 2008 9:26 AM | Link to this
Long time reader but first time commenting here.
I need some advice cos the guy I’m seeing doesn’t fall under that list, but still leaves me wondering where I stand:
He’s the one who instigated the “what are we?” conversation, and he’s the one who asked if we could be exclusive. Either one of us will call the other & we’re pretty much on the same page with that one. He’s the one who makes plans for “date night”.
He’s a great guy, my friends love him. My family live overseas so they haven’t met him.
Yet there are days where he’ll just fall off the face of the earth and not call me or return my calls. I’m not blowing up his phone - matter of fact I hate talking on the phone so I avoid it as much as possible. When he finally resurfaces he’s very vague, putting most of the blame on work.
Before anyone acts, I’ve been to his place and there’s no sign of a woman living there.
Do I take the good with the bad and know he’ll vanish? Or do I assume he’s up to something and walk away now?
By QC
May 6, 2008 9:27 AM | Link to this
Morning, have a great day all!
By Cemeeli
May 6, 2008 9:27 AM | Link to this
Good morning…it’s poppin’ in here already?
FlyGuy I quoted you on yesturday about a woman would know when a guy has “that” good energy. Now you come with 5 signs that all are 1 same sign = game. But you alright with me for schooling.
why are all points numbered 1? Lol…this is gonna be good.
Good topic.
By lovelyliz
May 6, 2008 9:27 AM | Link to this
Read He’s Just Not That In To You
Men have been know to be into convenient sex, but if you are labeled as such, that’s the most ou will ever be.
People who are into each other actually put forth effort.
By Blow Me a.k.a Rookie Cookie
May 6, 2008 9:30 AM | Link to this
Angie REAL talk I am with you. I don’t have time for entertain the foolishness…Really. Yes as you get EXPERIENCE these signs become apparent. I have seen 35 yr olds with no EXPERIENCE or Game…so it’s not about age. It’s about your experience and more importantly DID you learn from it?
By "Longtime Lurker"
May 6, 2008 9:31 AM | Link to this
@Wise Lurker On your 8:46, How bout It took me 2 hours to get served, eat and get a picture of lousy Margarita’s yesterday, at my local Mexican joint. I made it out just in time to see Flavor of Love!
On the subject of Flavor of Love,that Flav is something,I tell ya! I was so sad to see seezins leave, with her fine azzzzz! Thing 2 is back!
That show is like watching a train wreck, you cannot look away and it is highly addictive!
By Teresa
May 6, 2008 9:32 AM | Link to this
He also will start to point out your faults (Perceived)or not.
By mytwocents
May 6, 2008 9:32 AM | Link to this
Thank you, Dreams, the first step is ADMITTING the problem! And just for giggles I’ma go there w/ the semantics… Behaviors that might indicate hope…Might? MIGHT??? Dude, stray comments/actions keep hope alive more than Jesse. You know if you give her (not me, but her) the toy from ya Happy Meal, it means let’s work things out AND raise a family. LOL Enjoy the new gig.
Truth I have to ask once again, Who are these women!?!
Have a sunshiney day y’all!
By lovelyliz
May 6, 2008 9:32 AM | Link to this
Read He’s Just Not That In To You
Men have been know to be into convenient sex, but if you are labeled as such, that’s the most you will ever be.
People who are into each other actually put forth effort.
By SeanJohnson3000
May 6, 2008 9:33 AM | Link to this
Sup Blog… still kinda tipsy from last nite…took me a hang over day..woulda stared at the monitor all day anyway…Sup Slim thugga, Kym, Truth, Blown, 6’1 but really 5’5 in real life and Darrell from Bel Air..I have a few signs …will add them in a minute.
By Angie
May 6, 2008 9:34 AM | Link to this
bigd ummmm. give me a break! lol. i ain’t fallin’ for the okie doke. if he’s into me, i would get a call with 24 hrs. don’t start with me this morn. lol. or if you want to, bring it!
By Darrell (a.k.a. The Pauper)
May 6, 2008 9:35 AM | Link to this
Ava
Don’t assume anything. Just go by why what you know or don’t know as fact. After all, dude just might be telling you the truth. Assumptions are nothing but trouble. If you haven’t already done so, approach him directly with the “why the intermittent disappearing act?” question and go from there. Perception is not always reality. Don’t let what you “sense” is happening cloud your objectivity in this situation.
By abc
May 6, 2008 9:36 AM | Link to this
I don’t know about ‘5 signs’ and all that. I suppose that some of those may be such indications, and some may not. There are no doubt plenty more.
I think it’d be better if the man would simply tell her she’s not the one for him and end it, that she might go find the man who would consider her to be the one. Otherwise, she’s just being taken advantage of. Don’t be a heel; cut her loose if you’re not interested.
By Cemeeli
May 6, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this
Mo Imma need j-ranchers, kettle corn, peach faygo, and sea salts for this one, please. :-)
mytwocents don’t come in here with the half post? Put the stilts on!!!
2C you know the drill.
Hey QC! {{{{O}}}} {{{{O}}}} i see you.
By Blow Me a.k.a Rookie Cookie
May 6, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this
Tricks and games are for kids. I have neither the time nor the energy to “drop hints.” Why keep the man (or woman) on life support? Just pull the cord already!
Jewel This is the TRUTH…all the other $hit can kick rocks. Stop playin!
By SexyLeggs
May 6, 2008 9:39 AM | Link to this
Good morning everyone. This is gonna be good good good!
By Darrell (a.k.a. The Pauper)
May 6, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this
Angie
You’re crackin’ me up! LOL! :-)
By Raqi
May 6, 2008 9:41 AM | Link to this
Female List:
She never returns your calls
Your dates end with a church hug…every time
You don’t have her number. She only calls you
Will always get back to you concerning date nights. Got to check her schedule first for something more important.
Always agrees to or calls you at the last minute to go out. Something else fell thru and you are Plan C.
By M.
May 6, 2008 9:42 AM | Link to this
I think that He constantly cancels the date at the last minute. Can go both ways. I think everyone has dated that person who acts like they are so busy and in demand….
FYI
Me and Jose Cuervo are no longer friends after last night….I want a divorce…
By QC
May 6, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this
Hey Cee-me-me
By Blow Me a.k.a Rookie Cookie
May 6, 2008 9:44 AM | Link to this
Darrell Please…I have read your post and NOW is the time to let you know. You are living in a dream world. Seriously..Wake up. It’s like you sniff roses all day. All I want to know is…when I’m I invited. I want to go to LA LA land too. Reality is a Bytch!!
By kinderbabe
May 6, 2008 9:45 AM | Link to this
good morning all! hope you had a happy cinco de mayo.:)
lovelyliz i too read that book several years back after the author was on oprah. the book is quite insightful and let me know that there are SO many things about men that are the same regardless of race. definitely was a good read. every woman should have it.
By Sunshine
May 6, 2008 9:48 AM | Link to this
if you call a man and leave a message and he doesn’t call back, delete his number from your cell immediately.
^5 @ Angie with this one. There are waaaay too many men out there to deal with the foolishness of one!!!
And this also goes for emails!
By BriteEyez
May 6, 2008 9:48 AM | Link to this
Good Morning all
I have a scenario that I would like the men on the blog to offer their input on.
As I have stated on here before, until recently I had not been in the dating world for many, many years so I’m a little rusty on the “signs” atleast in terms of a new relationship.
Ok, here’s the story. I met this guy, I think he’s pretty nice and his initial conversation and body language indicated to me that he was feeling me too. We went out and had a very nice evening talking and getting to know each other. We don’t do the phone thing but we do email each other. Lately, if I don’t initiate the contact I don’t hear from him. He does respond immediately and we exchange pleasantries. Then, before ending our email conversations he will ask, “what’s up for the weekend?” If I have something going on I will tell him what and when but I’m always him know that I’m open to getting with him at some point during the weekend. At that point he becomes very ambiguous and is never in a position to make any plans. It’s always, well I might have to work. Or, it’s too early in the week for me to make any plans. Which always leaves me wondering why he is always asking me what’s up for the weekend. Up to this point the weekends have come and gone and I have yet to hear from him.
Is this a clear indicator that he is not interested or could there be something else in play here?
By Blow Me a.k.a Rookie Cookie
May 6, 2008 9:50 AM | Link to this
Raqi Look I am fluckin p** at your post! @ 9:41am…Omgosh why do I do that. Stop tellin our BUZINESS..PLEASE! LMAO!
*Female List:
She never returns your calls
Your dates end with a church hug…every time
You don’t have her number. She only calls you
Will always get back to you concerning date nights. Got to check her schedule first for something more important.
Always agrees to or calls you at the last minute to go out. Something else fell thru and you are Plan C.*
I am so mad at this RAQI lmao!! You are stupid!! Why do I do this…ALL of them. Church hug with the pat! Don’t you dare look at my lips! lmao!
By abc
May 6, 2008 9:50 AM | Link to this
Ava, non-disclosure == another woman or women. Count on it. Next time he doesn’t answer messages, leave one that tells him you know he’s with another woman, and see how fast he calls back.
By shell
May 6, 2008 9:51 AM | Link to this
Female list: 6. If you ask her to call and she doesn’t remember your number. She doesn’t want to keep track it. If a woman really likes you, she’s knows it by heart. And you always have to call her.
If she tells you, ‘I’m into my career or school right now’.
If you tell her how hard it is to meet a good woman and she tells you, ‘you’ll find one, keep looking’. Best believe you’re just a booty call
By Wise Diva
May 6, 2008 9:53 AM | Link to this
LOL @ church hug
By Darrell (a.k.a. The Pauper)
May 6, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this
Sorry, Blow. Guess you’ll just have to do you then, huh? I’m not say Ava shouldn’t do the math, but there’s a huge difference between putting 2 and 2 together and using variables (i.e. 2 + x = y) to figure out what’s going on (if anything.) I’d rather deal with the facts of the situation as opposed to going by what I “feel” is happening. If that’s dreaming, then, so be it.
By I am Legend
May 6, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this
@ll…so thing 2 is back..he should pick her anyway…that is his perfect match there…seezins…she is fine..in that ghetto fab way…lol…black..now she can get it twice on sundays!!!!
By Binford2K8
May 6, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this
Raqi The Church hugs ARE bad news! LOL
By Bit-O-Honey
May 6, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this
Morning folks I think we all know when someone’s interested or not. We just sometimes blindly hope that our “great personalities” and other awesome things we feel make us a hot commodity will win them over. Been there and done that. If you’re not interested the sooner you say so the better. I try not to make rash decisions b/c I can sometimes be shallow and miss out on a great person based on things that could be easily changed over time (i.e fashion oversights)
By Teresa
May 6, 2008 9:56 AM | Link to this
If you make a date with her, then a better prospect comes along and she cancels to go with him. I know TRIFE! I have done this several times
By dw
May 6, 2008 9:58 AM | Link to this
Sounds like the guy being described is not only uninterested but he sounds married. Ladies sometimes married men need to know “if they still got it”, and they will exchange numbers with another woman and see how far they can go with it. Once they figure they still have what it takes to make a woman interested then they MOST of them decide not to pursue it any further, that is when he starts showing you the signs that are listed above. It’s an ego thing, we do that sometimes just to dust off the old pick up skills.
By AmazonRed
May 6, 2008 9:59 AM | Link to this
Morning all. It is 7 am in San Diego but I’m blogging! LOL
I’ve never had a guy do all 5 signs at one time. I mean, it’s not THAT hard to determine if he’s not feeling you. I did date one guy, who did not call often. One day, I just stopped calling him and that was our final convo. Yikes. Things became much clearer after that. (I have read “He’s just not that into you” and it made a big difference in my life as well.
That’s why now I really do look at effort. I’m not so desperate for companionship that I will spend time chasing a guy who doesn’t want me. There are so many guys out there. That’s why if you are lazy and only text me, or you say you’re going to call back in an hour and don’t, or if you always have an excuse why you can’t do why you’re supposed to do, you’re cut. No looking back.
By Jewel
May 6, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this
Hello Kym I finally read Walter Mosley’s “Blonde Faith”…I am so disappointed with the ending!
By Wise Diva
May 6, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this
Blow, your 9:44 post, could you expound a LITTLE,geez saying he is living in la la land, and not saying WHY you think that, is kind of pointless, LOL. Let’s get a real discussion going! I am beginning to think you just like clowning people on the blog
By IslandGirl
May 6, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this
Morning everyone
I don’t understand why you have to state the obvious to some folks. There is a fine line between desperation and loneliness. If a person shows no interest in you, why keep pursuing the person to the point of harassment. Some folks will prey on your need for companionship and make themselves convenient to satisfy their needs. We have said it many times on this blog that a person will do as much as you allow them to do.
I have a situation with this guy at work. I made the sorry azz mistake and accepted a dinner date with this dude (which was last summer). Since then he harasses me to go out with him again. I’ve told this guy I appreciated the dinner date, but I am not interested in dating him. I’m inclined to buy a stun gun for his azz.
By Angie
May 6, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this
Men have been know to be into convenient sex, but if you are labeled as such, that’s the most ou will ever be.
ain’t that the truth. i was that convenient booty.
By I am Legend
May 6, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this
@ava..maybe that is his ME time and does not feel you are ready to hear the truth yet….some men dont like being the bad guy…so dont take it personal..use those times to fill up your social calendar…have a life..dont worry about his every move!!
@raqi..church hugs…lol..thats why i dont hug..dayum all that..contact leads to other things…and with me there are no church hugs..i will grip you tight….lol..
By Page1908
May 6, 2008 10:03 AM | Link to this
LOL OMG @ church uh ctfu. Is that the same as the one-armed hug to the side?!! lmao
now looking around to see who to give a church hug to lmao.
By Deeva4Life
May 6, 2008 10:03 AM | Link to this
Brite Eyez I realize you were soliciting comments from the male bloggers, but as a female who’s experienced the same thing, trust me that behavior means he doesn’t want to commit to making plans with you because he may receive a better “offer” during the week and when the weekend arrives he’s found something else better to do. Now should he have no other options and is sitting around bored, he MAY reach out to you…but as you stated that never happens. He immediately responds to your contact because he likes you as a person, but you’re not high on the list of cuffing or progressing beyond a casual “hello, how are you”.
My advice, treat him the same way. Stop contacting him…let him contact you. If he doesn’t, then you know what time it is. However, if he does, just take it for what it is…a date. No more, no less. A man that’s truly interested will put it out there. If you’re an option to him, then make him an option to you.
By font1
May 6, 2008 10:05 AM | Link to this
By Mo (aka Moeisha)
May 6, 2008 10:05 AM | Link to this
Morning Ya’ll! Dont have much to say on this one that probably hasnt already been posted. I will hold up the corner, slightly attitudy cause I couldnt celebrate Cinco de Mayo.
Cemeeli Imma need j-ranchers, kettle corn, peach faygo, and sea salts for this one, please. :-) I gotcha chica! Mo now unloading her bags with all above listed goodies plus some jalapeno cheddar cheetos, pepsi and some poppycock.
By abc
May 6, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this
Brite, he’s stringing you along in case other women he’s interested in don’t work out.
Is it just me, or do these kinds of things seem obvious?
By Cemeeli
May 6, 2008 10:10 AM | Link to this
sup Page i give a church hug…shoot if i give the ‘feel the goods’ hug that obviously makes him the qualifier right?
By SexyLeggs
May 6, 2008 10:10 AM | Link to this
BriteEyez, is it possible that he may be intimidated by you? Only operating on the variables you’ve given, I’d say he’s hedging his bets to see how long he can dangle you. Why because you say weekends go by and no word from him yet you stay in contact via email. He’s only being polite by asking what’s up for the weekend. He may not really care. Keep doing YOU!
By Teresa
May 6, 2008 10:12 AM | Link to this
Hey Blow, didn;t one of these signs happened to a certain individual we know, like yesterday or something? Do you think this person knows that they are side meat!
By flabredtxraised
May 6, 2008 10:13 AM | Link to this
Morning blog, Its been a minute! Maybe your over analyzing the relationship or the situation. It’s different if you have been dating for a minute and all of this starts to occur. In Atlanta the female to male ratio is enormous and women think they can continue to play checkers while other women are playing chess! Step your game up ladies!
By AmazonRed
May 6, 2008 10:14 AM | Link to this
Kym - I’m loving your 8:37 and I fully agree.
Disappering acts are what’s hot in the streets!
By Kym
May 6, 2008 10:14 AM | Link to this
* Hi Jewel* I havent read it but I heard about the ending..looks like Walter Mosley is going a different route..he has done yet another erotic book.. My bookclub is going to the National Bookclub convention here in Atlanta in August. I think Mr. Mosley is going to have alot of explaining to do then. Also I am a bit disappoint with Valerie Wilson Wesley, and thinking hard about kicking Eric Jerome Dickey in the shins(wait he is short..so more like the throat.) I dont like any of his most recent books. I finished New Earth-but will re-read it again this summer…I am always looking for new authors so keep me in the loop on any new ones.
By AmazonRed
May 6, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this
Some guys just need time to realize how truly undesirable you are.
Truth - LMAO. Makes sense tho. Happens to women too.
By Angie
May 6, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this
abc they are obvious. that’s the problem. we know, but ignore them. we wish for the best. there, i said it!
By Teresa
May 6, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this
@BLOW didn’t one of the above signs happen to a mutual person we both know like yesterday on an important day? Do you think, they know that their just side meat? Are they failing to see the signs that the other party has another piece on the side.
By Blow Me a.k.a Rookie Cookie
May 6, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this
Wise Diva Expound? I think everyone on the blog can see why. I Know Truth points this FACT out everyday. And most of ALL the guys do as well. Stick around you will see.
But yeah I don’t clown anyone..Just Truth of that’s my favorite and SJ3000….It’s really called TOUGH love. lmao!
Question: TRUTH can say one thing and it gets over looked. But me, BLOW, can come right behind him and say the SAME thing and I am the only one that gets my a$$ on the hot fire. What’s up with that?
Any hoo…. CARRY ON
By SlimOne
May 6, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this
3Stacks What up my invisible friend? lol
I went to La Parilla in Fayetteville last night. If was off da chain! They closed off the parking lot, setup of a huge tent, had a dj..folks were drinking all out in the parking lot, dancing. And a party is not a party w/o the REALLY drunk dude dancing all over the place, spilling his drink on himself and others, coralling other folks to dance too. It did take a long time to get seated but the time flew by with those Patron Magaritas!!! I’m surprised it went down like that in F’ville. (a perfect end to my great weekend)
On topic Well its so funny..i think i told yall about the dude who i was interested in a while ago..but his signs didn’t show me he was really too interested in me. Then recently he supposedly confides in me about how he’s always been interested blah blah blah. So he been calling me a lot lately. However, i’ve lost my interest. So why last night he call me, i’m getting my Cinco de Mayo on, the music too loud so i tell him i gotta call him back. He gets mad tombout Dang! You ain’t neva got no time for me whatever!. Then hangs up. So i get a txt later on that night telling me he won’t be calling me anymore since I lied. I guess because I lied about calling him back. Wooooow! how the tables have turned. Men dish it but can’t take it.
By Jewel
May 6, 2008 10:22 AM | Link to this
Yes, I have doled out a few “church hugs” in my day. LOL!
Two questions BriteEyez: 1) Is the decision to not have phone conversation mutual? 2)How do you feel about being the one to always initiate contact?
ABC Your advice to Ava: Aren’t men offended by accusatory statements, or is his defensive response a definite “sign” that another female is in the picture?
By AmazonRed
May 6, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this
i don’t want to act this way. but i’m tired of my heart being ripped!
Angie - I would advise you to read “Why Men Love Btches” or “Why Men Marry Btches.” I think you could benefit from it way more than getting advice on this blog.
It’s clear you’re an emotional/passionate person and guys see this and take advantage of it. Become a “b*tch” and your heart will not get ripped. LOL
By Angie
May 6, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this
rell thing 2 is my gurl! i loved what flav did. he showed his sensitive side like y’all should. lol. i believe is true romance and that shyt right there was the bomb!
By Blow Me a.k.a Rookie Cookie
May 6, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this
Ared Co-sign your 9:58am..Girlie you are cool. We are gonna have to become drinking potnas. I like your style. Funny and intelligent. Silly chick!!
I have the book He’s not that into you Great read. But LADIES what do you think about The Rules…that use to be my dating bible. Do you think it works..? Not to change the topic.. WD gave us a blazer!!
By I am Legend
May 6, 2008 10:24 AM | Link to this
@briteyes..he is either married or involved…the whats up thing is just so he knows that you would be open if he can get away..umm dont invest too much time with homie..he is getting served someone else. case closed
By The Truth
May 6, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this
Lets face it folks. We live in a world where nothing much is valued. Not only male/female but EVERYONE is expendable. Kids, wife, parents, friends, we’ll drop anyone on a minutes notice. Some folks are hypersensitive. They’ve been dropped before and as soon as they see a sign that’s off they bolt for the door. Cowardly is what it is.
Men dont’t usually have to make a grand exit because they never commiteed much mental space in the beginning. They simply experienced something. It wasn’t that big of a thing so the fact that he didn’t call you really isn’t on his mind. You’re not bad, you’re just not a big deal.
Blow I thought you was looking for peace today. Then you go blow up Darrell. What a troll.
Page no one armed hugs for me. I want a body press hug. LOL GM
IG who are you putting the stun gun to? It’s getting dangerous in this spot. Staceye’s knives and now your stun gun. LOL GM
By KP
May 6, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this
I’m a virgin to this blog, but will definitely return. Fly Guy has made some good points that women should take into consideration. Most people cannot identify these signs because they are in the middle of the situation or find themselves in denial. Get yourself a good friend who will help you see through the clouds of infatuation.
Here are some other ways to lose a man: 1. Display desperation during your first date. No man wants to feel as if you are backing him up against the wall for commitment during your first date :). 2. Give signs that you have not gotten over past relationships. No man wants to hear about your past male escapades. 3. Give him the booty too quickly. This is a great way to find yourself off of the serious girlfriend consideration list. Respect yourself and your body. Not everyone deserves to be inside of you. 4. Become too attached too quickly.
KP http://chatkafe.blogspot.com
By Blow Me a.k.a Rookie Cookie
May 6, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this
Slim One That mexican joint by Ms Winners or the Kroger? I did not realize that was a hot spot like that. I might have to check that out.
By flabredtxraised
May 6, 2008 10:33 AM | Link to this
Ladies need to recognize a playa when he steps through the door What situation is this man coming from? Women scream about COMMUNICATION but after a man says NO KIDS, GOOD JOB, AND $$$$$ IN THE BANK About 33% think he is in a hurry to get married rather than looking for the right women FIRST to get married to, EVENTUALLY. The funny thing is that women may not be you! SURPRISE!
By BriteEyez
May 6, 2008 10:33 AM | Link to this
Deeva4life I have definitely though about that possibility. My thing is, I was not trying to make him my man. I was very clear to him about where I am. I thought he was a nice guy, I enjoyed talking to him and I thought that we could have some fun hanging out and enjoying some outings around town. Nothing more nothing less. But, like you said, there must be others higher up on his list and that’s cool.
Sexyleggs I’m not sure I get the intimidation thing. However, you could be right about the weekend thing. I probably would have taken it that way if it was not always followed up with a ,”maybe we can do something.” Then, the indecisiveness, but whatever.
abc No, the signs are not that hard to read, I would say more confusing. But I guess confusion should signify that things are not right, right?
I had already made the decision to not contact him anymore, I was just curious about what others thoughts would be after reading todays topic.
By AmazonRed
May 6, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this
Girlie you are cool. We are gonna have to become drinking potnas. I like your style. Funny and intelligent. Silly chick!!
Blow - Thanks for the lovely shout out. Glad to see there’s folks out there that understand I’m just goofy with a biting wit. It’s all love.
And you still keep me chuckling on here.
By shell
May 6, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this
3Stack, you’re right. Sometimes guys can’t fathom that they’re being used only for sex and nothing else. And women like myself know how to move on when they see something better. A smart women can tell can decipher the users from the real thing.
By KP
May 6, 2008 10:37 AM | Link to this
I’m a virgin to this blog, but will definitely return. Fly Guy has made some good points that women should take into consideration. Most people cannot identify these signs because they are in the middle of the situation or find themselves in denial. Get yourself a good friend who will help you see through the clouds of infatuation.
Here are some other ways to lose a man: 1. Display desperation during your first date. No man wants to feel as if you are backing him up against the wall for commitment during your first date :). 2. Give signs that you have not gotten over past relationships. No man wants to hear about your past male escapades. 3. Give him the booty too quickly. This is a great way to find yourself off of the serious girlfriend consideration list. Respect yourself and your body. Not everyone deserves to be inside of you. 4. Become too attached too quickly.
KP
By IslandGirl
May 6, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this
Blow I read ( The Rules” and I think that book is b******. I think when it comes to dating and relationships are own personal value system has to direct us in making decisions that are best for us.
Simple things like not inviting a date over to your house during the early stages of dating, not having sex or any form of intimacy for yada yada amount of time, or not until marriage are decisions you should make based on your principles and values….jmo
By Dino
May 6, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this
@Blow When Truth speaks he makes a lot of sense - but when you just pop out of lala land you speak to get attention maybe you just need a blog hug
By Wise Diva
May 6, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this
LOL @ stick around, alright Blow, that’s funny, thanks I think I WILL. I am only saying, that on a blog/forum such as ours, we all speak from our perspectives. When there is an opposing one, it helps to articulate it, beyond, you are living in a fantasy land, LOL. Even when Truth stomps on folks, at least he clearly argues his point, even if it is infuriating, sometimes LOL
By AmazonRed
May 6, 2008 10:40 AM | Link to this
TRUTH can say one thing and it gets over looked. But me, BLOW, can come right behind him and say the SAME thing and I am the only one that gets my a$$ on the hot fire. What’s up with that?
LOL Blow - That happens to a few folks on here. Truth used to be pretty hated. I think folks grew tired or he changed his approach. LOL Maybe it was dues paying.
I think it’s the WAY things read and come across. I already know that the things I say will come off crazy. But doesn’t mean that the content is. Some folks are emotional and focus on perceived tone, others are rational focus on the meat. You can’t help how other folks will react so my advice is don’t even try. Just do you!
By abc
May 6, 2008 10:40 AM | Link to this
Jewel, men resent being falsely accused, but there’s only one thing that a man will be evasive about, or will not disclose to a woman: another woman. Once accused of seeing other women, men will never admit guilt. You just have to be able to tell; and, if the non-disclosure is already there, Ava should already be able to tell.
By SexyLeggs
May 6, 2008 10:40 AM | Link to this
SlimOne, a co-worker of mine went there last night as well and I have pictures of people dancing in the parking lot and standing on the sides…what were you wearing(LOL).
By SeanJohnson3000
May 6, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this
@ Slim Thugga…i forgot about that spot…because i woulda hit that up because the spots off old natl was TOO packed…i hit another spot near the AT@T buildings at lindberg…its like a baby atlantic station over there…i was strickly highways last nite…didnt wanna get caught in a rode block..
@ Blown….i hear that you have problems with the reception on your cable..if u need me to…i will climb on the pole and see wassup with it….THEN you will have to climb on my pole…..since the dollar is garbage…i am taking it back to the barter system babes…
By Blow Me a.k.a Rookie Cookie
May 6, 2008 10:42 AM | Link to this
Teresa She would not get if it he had a CLOWN suit on and making ballon animals that said go to hell. She is completely clueless!! lmao!
Truth Hey I am just trying to get like you. You bomb on DARRELL day in and day out. So get up off me wit dat! How dare you? You know you crazy right?
But I do agree with this:
They’ve been dropped before and as soon as they see a sign that’s off they bolt for the door. Cowardly is what it is.
Yes it is a cowardly move. It’s said that relationships are not valued anymore. So sad.
By mytwocents
May 6, 2008 10:42 AM | Link to this
Darrell Not intermittent absences-that’s cute how you tryna get us cursed out! He’ll be like “WTF! See, you think you better than me w/ all those fancy words, that’s why I’m ghost now!”
Beautiful Your 9Gs had me hyped! But that penny machine had other plans. Lemme hol, some… Cee Never one to follow crowd, whiskey sours last night, giddiness carrying ova. Now trying unsucessfully to remove flush from cheeks and lightheartedness from tone…
By SlimOne
May 6, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this
Blow It’s over by Publix in the Fayetteville Pavillion…I’m already thinking about that spot for next year. LOL!
SexyL I had on a black Got Attitude tank top with some white jeans and flip flops. lol
By AmazonRed
May 6, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this
I had already made the decision to not contact him anymore, I was just curious about what others thoughts would be after reading todays topic
BriteEyez - That’s good to hear. Just ignore him. Two things will happen: Either he’ll stay gone and you can move on or he’ll come back with some tigher game. He was too cavelier and probably testing how far he can go. He can do better, he knows it and you know it.
By Wise Diva
May 6, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this
oh and welcome Ava & KB! It’s really nice to see new names join in!
By shell
May 6, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this
KP, that not giving the sex too quickly rarely works. I’ve known men who married women who they had sex with early in the relationship and I’ve known men to dumped women who played by the ‘rules’ and withheld sex for a period of time right after they got it. I don’t give up the booty early anyway, because I like to really know the person, doesn’t matter if I hoping for a serious relationship. Unlike women who spend the whole life looking for Mr. Right, men don’t work that way. Sometimes your just he lucky girl he runs into after he decided to put up his player card and stop riding the booty train.
By I am Legend
May 6, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this
@ared…being a beyotch will get you a man that you can control…..i dont advise that beyouth role for women..that is a sucker moves and screams that you have low self esteem…again folks need to get it how they live…if angie is a softy then she needs a soft dude…ya know they can go shopping for drapes and wall sconts together..that type of dude
By Blow Me a.k.a Rookie Cookie
May 6, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this
IG I agree. I think it is BOLOGNA…But on one hand it has some facts to it. Bottomline OF the book. Men are hunters and THEY need a challenge and boundaries. I do not like dudes at my crib because they see its nice and instantly want it to be a chill spot. So no my HOUSE is off limits. Don’t get comfortable potna until you ready to kick in on the bills.
Dino You mean to sit here and tell me TRUTH make sense all the time? You HAVE got to be kidding me? What POSTER are you reading…damn sho not Truth? It’s a gamble with him…sometimes he spits lucky 7’s other times he CRAPS out. LITERALLY!
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this
what a great topic and when we women have these same ways in the start men shouldn’t take it sooo bad or shall I say lil boys who can’t have their way!!! Stand for something or fall for anything…peace
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this
what a great topic and when we women have these same ways in the start men shouldn’t take it sooo bad or shall I say lil boys who can’t have their way!!! Stand for something or fall for anything…peace
By Jewel
May 6, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this
ABC I agree. Most men will never admit guilt, even in the face of proof. As Richard Pryor once said, “Are you going to believe me, or your lying eyes??” LOL!
By BriteEyez
May 6, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this
Jewel
1) Is the decision to not have phone conversation mutual?
I don’t care to spend a lot of time on the phone and also he is a big text person and I don’t care for that at all! I have not known him long at all so for this initial stage I found emailing to be sufficient.
2)How do you feel about being the one to always initiate contact?
Again, with this being very new I was not really having a problem with initiating contact at this point. It was just what transpired during those conversations that left me scratching my head. Had they been productive with some follow up on his part it would have been cool.
By Angie
May 6, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this
mytwocents lol. you silly. girl, that 9 is gone. shared it with fam. plus half went to my friend. she won with my quarter. lol. if i was a selfish chick, i would have flew to hawaii. yep, by my dayum self.
6’1 you ok?
By Cemeeli
May 6, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this
Cee Never one to follow crowd, whiskey sours last night, giddiness carrying ova.
mytwocents against the gra..grai…grain. Dang ma you sending lighthearted signal by-way a post.
Mo thx for the hook-up.
Lol @ flabredtxraised Welcome back!
By Darrell (a.k.a. The Pauper)
May 6, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this
TwoCents
LOL! @ that 10:42.
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this
what a great topic and when we women have these same ways in the start men shouldn’t take it sooo bad or shall I say lil boys who can’t have their way!!! Stand for something or fall for anything…peace
By pisces 08
May 6, 2008 10:59 AM | Link to this
Morning All. Not up for giving out trade secrets. I’ll lurk for now.
By SeanJohnson3000
May 6, 2008 11:00 AM | Link to this
@ Shell…i didnt say that today …..but thats something that i have said and men dont realize it..regarding your 10:36 post…thats why i think when it comes to game females are superior…no matter what all these feamles are saying today.
@ KP…are you KP ..from KP and Envy?…made the song Sawty swing my way?
By KP
May 6, 2008 11:02 AM | Link to this
Shell, my reference to not giving up the booty too quickly is simply a way to see who someone is without the cloud of lust hanging overhead. It is way easier to evaluate someone’s character when no sex is involved. Sex often prolongs the inevitable. There are many dead relationships currently in existence because the sex is da bomb. Why temporarily entertain Mr. Maintenance Man or Ms. Booty Call when there is Mr. or Mrs. Right available for you? We often miss our helpmeet because we find ourselves entertaining people who can only satisfy us for 1-3 hrs out of a day. Why waste 1-3 hrs on someone who can only satisfy you physically? Relationships are spiritual, emotional and physical, but many of us forego the spiritual component because of the emotional and physical entanglement associated with lust.
By BriteEyez
May 6, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this
* Jewel*
Not much on talking on the phone and he is a real “text” person which is something I can’t stand at all. So, in this initial stage emailing was cool.
As far as initiating the contact that was not a problem either. It was the context of the conversation (indecisiveness and no follow through) that I had the problem with.
By The Truth
May 6, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this
Blow I don’t bomb on Darrell or anyone much more anymore. I have worked out a gentlemans/gentlewomans agreement with most in here. Hell, I even count Staceye/ARed as allies now. LOL Of course I still throw a few body blows to wake some folks up but its all lighthearted. You come on here LOUD and just say wack stuff and then expect to be heard. First, calm your azz down. I know your guys don’t listen to you much but that’s because you talk to much. SHUT THE F*** UP, don’t be quiet because thats another thing. SHUT THE F*** UP and maybe you’ll be heard. Apparently some of the guys that deal with you forgot to tell you that. Now, if you’d like to proceed as adults respond with your thoughts and we’ll see what your working with.
Wise Even when Truth stomps on folks, at least he clearly argues his point, even if it is infuriating, sometimes LOL I love you too. LOL
Ladies, the only way you can get to a point that you want to break off contact with a dude is if you’ve given him occupation of mind space. Quit putting your mind, and hence your body, out there all willy nilly and you’ll be mentally fresher. As I said before, men smell the battles you’ve gone through before and make decisions accordingly.
By Darrell (a.k.a. The Pauper)
May 6, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this
KP “Why temporarily entertain Mr. Maintenance Man or Ms. Booty Call when there is Mr. or Mrs. Right available for you?”
Good question. To be honest, I think women (and men) entertain this because discovering how good (or not) the booty is, is a significant component in determining whether or not that person truly is Mr./Ms. Right for them. I guess they figure if they’re potentially going to have to live with this person the rest of their lives, they should at least be able to see if it’s going to be worth it from an intimacy standpoint.
Just my .02
By IslandGirl
May 6, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this
KP ^5 on your post. I agree. We tend to go for the immediate gratification rather than what could be beneficial to us in the long term. It is hard.
By Raqi
May 6, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this
While some signs are obvious others are not. Sometimes it takes a series of offenses to raise suspicion. That is why some may find themselves caught up before they realize the truth.
I dated this guy Brandon and it took me a minute to realize that I was the woman being kept waiting in the wings while he attempted to get back with his daughter’s mother. The signs were not that obvious at first because he used his daughter as his reasons for this that and the other. Being a single parent myself I knew how important and time consuming kids are. But like I said a series of transgressions does an imposter make.
By Blow Me a.k.a Rookie Cookie
May 6, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this
Wise Diva I guess so. But to say TRUTH has sense is a bit much. But don’t add a some cayenne cajun hot spice to the blog. Come now…Lets be honest.
Slim One That joint! Yeah OK I know which one you’re talking about. But is that a African American crowd. For some reason I would think it’s a bunch of RED NECKS?
Ared Now you know I don’t give a damn what ppl think about me or what I have to say. I have also stated and stood behind how I feel and what I have to say. Clutch your pearls or gasp for air. It is what it is. I have no qualms about it.
SJ3000 You can help me. I am feeling quite p** since I could not watch Flavor of love last night and re runs of Ny HOUSEWIVES. I need help. And not only that I filled my tank up last night…I almost nearly cried. Katt Williams was right…I was makin life decisions at the pump! lmao! Yeah baby let me see you slide down on that pole…But don’t forget to hook that cable up. Slidin down my damn pole and aint hooked up the cable..Will get you doubled bytched slapped!! lmao!
By Jewel
May 6, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this
Thanks BriteEyez. I am Legend spelled out the reasoning behind my questions, that he is either married or in a relationship. But as you stated, you have moved on. Good for you.
By Cemeeli
May 6, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this
Why temporarily entertain Mr. Maintenance Man or Ms. Booty Call when there is Mr. or Mrs. Right available for you?
Relationships are spiritual, emotional and physical, but many of us forego the spiritual component because of the emotional and physical entanglement associated with lust.
…i’m in the ‘cold stamp’ mode…needed reposting…
author…KP
By Gina
May 6, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this
Not up for giving out trade secrets, do you mean to say, I don’t have a clue about women?
By KP
May 6, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this
No Seanjohnson3000…I’m not from KP and Envy! I’m a man with my own identity. I operate a personal blog on relationships at chatkafe.blogspot.com. I just felt like mixing in with some of the dialog this morning.
By Dino
May 6, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this
^5 Truth very well said!
By shell
May 6, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this
KP, I personally think people put too much emphasis on sex. It works both ways, you can have great sex and bad relationship Or you can have bad sex and a good relationship. This why I sometimes believe dating doesn’t work. You never know what stage person is in their lives. This where the problem lies. Some people just want a booty call or a maintenance man. Nothing wrong with that, as long as your honest. Some people are looking for commitment, like I said just be honest. I think it is all up to personal preference, because we all know men and women who have dumped people because they were ‘bad’ in bed. Heck, I know a few marriages that ended because of that.
By Angie
May 6, 2008 11:15 AM | Link to this
truth i sense frustration in your comments to the females on here today. we hear you, trust me. we know to keep our puddy to ourselves.
By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON
May 6, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this
Truth You still don’t get it. Huh? You come on ATTACKING me the first thing in the morning. Alot of the times you MAKE it your business to throw salt my way. Just scroll up to your first post. You start it with me. What is it with me to why you like to ATTACK so much? I sure as hell hope those are not love taps. I did not bomb on Darrell. I just said he sniffs roses all day an d wanted to know when I was invited to sniff some with him. What’s so wrong and outlandish with that?? I have went WAYYYYYYYY harder on you than anyone else on this blog. Luckily though I am strong enough to handle the numerous attacks. Most of the time I am over here laughing…Teresa let em know. lmao! I was just saying how FUNNY you ppl are on here! You guys make my day! But oh yeah…BLOW won’t change til she is good and got damn ready too!!
ATTENTION ALL: Where is my homie.. Mr. 900k???! Where is he?
By Angie
May 6, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this
kp i love to blog. and since i don’t have a life, i’ll see you over there if you don’t mind.
By Page1908
May 6, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this
CeeCee LOL nothing wrong with church hugs but ummmm, it’s funny because usually dudes don’t give the church hug, it’s usually the women….lol.
Truth lol @ body press hug! Yeahhhh I bet. Besides, you can’t do a serious body press hug, the twins will get smashed! lol
ARed in San Diego?! Yayyyyyyy San Diego! If you have your passport, make sure you cross the border into Tijuana and check out the Donky Show…lol. Truth knows all about ‘em. I was just back home in San Diego 2 weeks ago!!
By Need my space
May 6, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this
So Blow you need Ared for your security blanket to back up what you say? You’re such the typical female who needs attention, grow up girl
By SlimOne
May 6, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this
Blow Actually, it was a decently mixed crowd…everything from kids, to older, from white to black, to all the other hues in between, to the drunk chicks dancing with each other…but there was no color lines when the dj played the Cupid Shuffle. I felt like i was in the worlds largest cupid shuffle dance group. lol
FYI: It is not good to wear flip flops, dancing next to someone who is either just trying to catch on to the steps or simply had too much to drink. OUCH!! I do know some chick started talking to me about how if she wanted this dude, she would’ve had him. Don’t nobody want her man! Knowwutimsaying?
By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON
May 6, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this
Dino Really who are you? This is a fake name…
By SeanJohnson3000
May 6, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this
@ Shell ..good post to KP….i had one similiar….explaining it in more detail…but it was too long…
@KP…go more into this..Relationships are spiritual, emotional and physical, but many of us forego the spiritual component because of the emotional and physical entanglement associated with lust.
By KP
May 6, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this
Shell, I totally agree with you with regards to dating. I guess I should have disclosed that I’m an associate minister, which is why my views on sex differ from most people. Relationships or marriages that end because of sex were built on the wrong foundation in the beginning. The only way someone can acknowledge someone as being bad sexually is if they compare the experience to someone else. For example, should someone be penalized for being a virgin? Well if they are compared to the 5, 10, 20, 50+ partners a person has had, then they may get penalized for lack of experience. It is unfair to penalize someone because they are not able to measure up to a past escapade. ~60% of marriages end in divorce. Our current dating practices have led to divorce, increase in STD’s, baby mamas, baby daddy’s, children who are confused, children who are divided and relationships that are selfish. Everything that we are experiencing today is a result of seeds that were planted 20+ years ago. We have people pursuing relationships when they have NO IDEA of what a relationship looks like. Maintenance men and booty call chicks are a selfish outlet for an individual. Trust me…i have had my fair share of women in the past :). Check out my blog when you get an opportunity http://chatkafe.blogspot.com.
By Need my space
May 6, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this
Who cares if you change try acting like a real lady you are a female right?
By SexyLeggs
May 6, 2008 11:36 AM | Link to this
KP, if you don’t mind can I join in the discussion?
By QC
May 6, 2008 11:37 AM | Link to this
Hey Angie, IslandG, Page
By Raqi
May 6, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this
The only way someone can acknowledge someone as being bad sexually is if they compare the experience to someone else.
as opposed to just lying there like a lump on a log???
By Katie
May 6, 2008 11:39 AM | Link to this
If you have to wait for 5 signs, you’re an idiot. 1 sign is enough for anyone with any intelligence. There is no shortage of men and, therefore, no reason to wait for the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th ‘sign’. What part of DUH don’t women get???
By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON
May 6, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this
Need My space Follow along..for sometime now I did not even LIKE ARED so really what are you talking about? I have learned to understand and respect her comments now I do like her. I stand on my own two feet..But none the less. I am gonna chill back.
SlimOne OH no…yeah I hate when any line dance song comes on and you have the idiot with 2 left feet near you. Disaster!! lol! But I am into the mix crowds…I enjoy diversity..especially when everyone is laid back and relaxed.
SJ3000 Was that really you @ 11:28. That was a bit deep to be you. I am impressed….and back in love with my blog crush. Blow is now blowing kisses @ SJ3000
By KP
May 6, 2008 11:46 AM | Link to this
Angie, feel free to hit me up wherever you feel most comfortable.
SeanJohnson3000, here is the best way to explain it…
Dating with a purpose focuses on getting to know the core character of a person before deciding whether to pursue them seriously. Purposeful dating focuses on the desired end of a relationship versus the immediate, temporal fulfillment. As created, men and women approach relationships from different perspectives. Below illustrates the process by which the two sexes process relationships:
Men Physical Attraction –> Emotional Attachment –> Spiritual Connection
Women Emotional Attachment –> Physical Attraction –> Spiritual Connection
Attaching to the physical or emotional before the spiritual (character) connection leads to a temporary, lustful, clouded reality. It also leads to a relational disconnect between two people who may have otherwise been able to clearly learn more about one another. Newsflash…it is only through the character that you are able to learn more about a person for who they truly are. Once you determine a person’s character makeup, you then know who they truly are. Purposeful dating allows you to focus in on the character versus chemistry, convenience or comfort of a person. Chemistry (physical) and feelings (emotions) both waver, but character remains the same despite the situations presented in a person’s life. Remember you can always find someone who makes you feel good, but the goal is to identify the person who is good for you.
By Cemeeli
May 6, 2008 11:46 AM | Link to this
i start my learning loop/divers course with the GA. Aquarium this week. Yea,ya!
Hi Katie…i gave $22.41 the other day, can i have change?
By shell
May 6, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this
KP, this why I rarely date here in Atlanta. People say one thing and do other, that’s both men and women. Too many games are going into over time in this city. I don’t want 10, 20, or 30 partners. That’s why sometimes go months to a few years without a relationship. Like I said before, people put too much emphasis on sex rather than trying to find out the person’s real intention for pursuing them. Give a person a little time and they will reveal who they truly are, no matter what they’ve told you before.
By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON
May 6, 2008 11:49 AM | Link to this
Ok no more useless banter with the fake monikers..Back to topic
Beautiful post KP that is so true. Those were great points there.
By The Truth
May 6, 2008 11:50 AM | Link to this
Angie no frustration on my part. I don’t even get down like that. I’m simply stating the obvious, to get your value up you have to have the right product. Slinging yourself around mentally and physically may be fun up front but the long term damage is unmeasureable.
It’s amazing that the women that come on here claiming to want to be married and have children don’t act like it. Their not building value in their product. Their just another in a crowd.
IF I wanted a wife I’d look at my pro’s and cons and start making adjusments accordingly. Chickeheads, bye. Good freinds, check. Income, can I provide for this woman I’m about to get? What about kids? Leadership skills, check. I’d process it just like that. Work on my weaknesses and enhance my strength. What I wouldn’t do is the shotgun blast thing. I’m a sniper, one shot on kill. Straight through the heart. I know most of the bruh’s on here have met a chick that would have potentail had she not had dyckhead dents all over her noggin. We all know you’re grown and can give azz away, thats old now. You’re value doesn’t increase by the nut. It’s just amazing to me how many women throw themselves out there mentally for dudes that could really care less. We don’t seek love in every woman we meet. We’ll take what you give us, which is usually azz. Where does that put you?
If you are a Knockoff and know that please disregard the above comments and continue doing what you do. You’re appreciated too. LOL
Dino thanks for the co-sign. LOL
Ared do not go to the donkey show. You’ll be ruined for life. LOL If you go to Imperial Beach shoot them a finger for me. I went to Job corp there. LOL
Blow I stopped responding to you all together at one point because ALL of your posts were nonsense. However, I don’t mind engaging in dirty warfare so I bring it like you do. While it’s cool to have fun sometimes it’s just not appropriate. I leave the ball in your court. Respond with an apology and we’ll go forward. Plus I want to come by your nice house and kick my feet up on the coffe table. Hand me the remote. Don’t play.
KP you’re right on with the spiritual, emotional thing. Sure it feels good and looks good but is it good for you, or more so your spirit.
By The Truth
May 6, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this
Oh shyt, did KP just break it down for everyone? LOL
By abc
May 6, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this
KP, across all demographics and categories, marriage in America ends in divorce about 38% of the time, not 60%. That’s down from a peak of about 46% in 1992 or so. That constitutes about 1-2 marriages per 100 per year. If you’re a minister and do any counseling of people, you should get the facts straight.
Personally, I think the statistics in that regard are a little skewed. Incidence of divorce may seem to be in decline, but incidence or marriage is in decline, also. Encouraging people to wait for marriage is a mistake, and leads to inevitable fornication; encouraging them to be unafraid of and to stay with their marriage choice would be a better course. It fits better with what God’s invention of marriage is all about.
By Sunshine
May 6, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this
Shell
you can have great sex and bad relationship Or you can have bad sex and a good relationship
I have to disagree with this statement. There is no such thing as bad sex and a good relationship! Bad sex is a deal killa in my book!!!lol
By SexyLeggs
May 6, 2008 11:54 AM | Link to this
BlowMe, whatcha chilling for????? Keep on trucking, girl!
By Tazzee
May 6, 2008 11:57 AM | Link to this
Morning Folks!
Good topic today and I love the list FlyGuy I never read the book “He’s just not that into you” because I gave up making excuses for guys’ behavior a long time ago. Honestly, when these characteristics are displayed and we women stay with the men, we are making excuses.
It doesn’t help when other women help with the excuses…’maybe he doesn’t think you’re interested’, ‘maybe he’s intimidated by you (no offense SexyLeggs), ‘maybe he’s at a crossroads and he’s taking a break to determine if you are really the one’, ‘you should reach out to him, show him that you can be vulnerable’….
I’ve heard all those excuses from other females when I suspected a guy just wasn’t into me. Sometimes I would take her advice and try harder, most times I just laid low to see what the guy would do. In all cases if a guy displayed any ‘not into me’ signs - it was always just that - he was no longer into me.
ARed I have gone the “Why Men Love B***” route and that usually works. To those that haven’t read the book, the author’s definition of a b*** is probably not what you’re thinking…
By Leroy Tate
May 6, 2008 11:57 AM | Link to this
To the girl who said “Why do guys play these little boy games?”. It isn’t hard to figure out sugare - He wants to have fun in the bed but doesn’t want to limit himself by making you his girlfriend. He wants to keep his options open. However, there IS a girl out there he wouldn’t play games with. He just hasn’t found her yet. So, he plays around with a few that he ain’t so crazy about. I laid it all out for ya. No woman should have ANY more questions now.
By SeanJohnson3000
May 6, 2008 11:59 AM | Link to this
@ KP…the long post i deleted dealt with the fact that men and women will probably never be equally yoked spiritually….and according to your chart…its last when it should be first which in turn means relationships have no real foundation…now…some of your post i agree with…and some i dont…i guess my point or view would be clearer had i posted the post…just picking your brain..i will check out your blog spot later…for the record …no offense…got kinda a natural distrust for white folks, police and preachers…so i ask questions to see angles.
By KP
May 6, 2008 11:59 AM | Link to this
Amen Shell! Give someone 4-6 months and you get past the representative they presented to you in the beginning…and you finally get an opportunity to meet the real person. Why give the sex to the representative when the real person is a jerk? LOL.
By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON
May 6, 2008 12:00 PM | Link to this
Truth You are hiliarious…Nice post though. It had some great facts as well.
Me, APOLOGIZE to you? For what? You have got to be kidding me!! I will not do such a thing under any circumstance.
Sissy Staceye Where are you? Chime in girlie!!
KP I am loving your post. So real and I can take some knowlegde from it.
Remember you can always find someone who makes you feel good, but the goal is to identify the person who is good for you.
Finding the person that is good for you is sometimes hard to do. Every wolf seems to be in SHEEPS clothing. But CHARACTER will definitely stand out over time.
By Foots
May 6, 2008 12:01 PM | Link to this
KP I’ve been lurking today, but I had to tell you how much I liked your 11:46. I copied that for my archives, so I could share it with my folks, as well as give myself a reality check every now and then.
By Kym
May 6, 2008 12:01 PM | Link to this
I am not sure where this topic is going now but the one problem I see in dating is this “Do it for me now!” approach. We are a rush, hurry society, and we expect our relationships to be rush, hurry. If you meet someone on Tuesday, and you go out on Wednesday and Friday..well he/she should call on Saturday and Sunday, and if this happens for more than 3 weeks in a row…well hell that is wrap..He/She are yours. My question is one why the timetable and rules of engagement. Why not just Be. Period. Done. Just go with it..if it works great…if it doesn’t great. But everyone seems to be in a rush..to make the-relationship happen NOW and this applies to both men and women.
By The Truth
May 6, 2008 12:02 PM | Link to this
ABC we’ve been over this before but god didn’t create marriage, man and the church did. Anyway, I get your point.
By Darrell (a.k.a. The Pauper)
May 6, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this
Blow
I challenge your claim to “Most Hated On”. (Or were you not on the blog yesterday?) LOL!!!
By shell
May 6, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this
Sunshine, my best friend was in one those relationship. The guy was great out of the bedroom, attentive, sweet, nice, hardworking. But in the bedroom he couldn’t rise to the occasion. Excuse the pun. This went on for about a year until, she dumped him. She didn’t tell him the real reason of course. Her personal preference, I guess LOL
By Staceye AKA Black Mamba
May 6, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this
Late Good morning to ya all!!
Angie if you call a man and leave a message and he doesn’t call back, delete his number from your cell immediately Girl I live by this! I have had dudes ask why I have not called them. I simply tell them I called and left you a message 2 times and you never called back so I deleted you. The reason I do 2 is just in case you did not get the first. After that…deuces!!!! Time waits for no man and neither does Staceye! If you stand me up..that is an automatic deletion! My time is just as importatnt as yours. If you tell me you will pick me up at 9….if 9:30 comes and you have not called…you are considered a stand up and again…DELETED! Do not do anything to me that you would not want done to you. I will not call you and curse you out…I will simply forget about you and move on. Do not call me a week later with a sob story because I simply refer you to my azz and tell you to kiss it, then hang up on you and never respond to you again. I have a NO BS policy. If you can’t adhere…keep it moving buddy!
Raqi your female list is so me! LOL But I really just say I am not interested. Or if a guy is persistant..I tell him that I was born a man! LOL By this being ATL that may backfire on me one day!
Brite Eyez He is trying to have you as a back up plan girl. Do the same to him.
Shell * personally think people put too much emphasis on sex* I say that all the time.
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 12:06 PM | Link to this
Grown Man Leroy Tate that is all fine and dandy bc women play those games too but when a WOMAN stops a lil boy/grown man @ the door bc she ain’t buying his BS don’t have a hissy fit bc his mission wasn’t accomplished and go out like a sore loser and call names!!! That is all I am saying SIR!!!
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 12:08 PM | Link to this
Grown Man Leroy Tate that is all fine and dandy bc women play those games too but when a WOMAN stops a lil boy/grown man @ the door bc she ain’t buying his BS don’t have a hissy fit bc his mission wasn’t accomplished and go out like a sore loser and call names!!! That is all I am saying SIR!!!
By abc
May 6, 2008 12:10 PM | Link to this
Truth… tsk tsk! Not to wax religious, but!
God created this and that and saw that it was good. Then He noted that man was alone, and it was not good. It was the first thing noted that wasn’t good. Woman was then created to be a companion for man, and that was the first marriage. God invented it.
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 12:10 PM | Link to this
Grown Man Leroy Tate that is all fine and dandy bc women play those games too but when a WOMAN stops a lil boy/grown man @ the door bc she ain’t buying his BS don’t have a hissy fit bc his mission wasn’t accomplished and go out like a sore loser and call names!!! That is all I am saying SIR!!!
By Angie
May 6, 2008 12:11 PM | Link to this
Why are there so many men and women desiring to be married when so many other men and women are looking for ways to get out of marriage? Do we really know what we are asking for?
great question kp!
By 6'1 & Luvin it (Dat B*tch)
May 6, 2008 12:12 PM | Link to this
It’s clear you’re an emotional/passionate person and guys see this and take advantage of it. Become a “b*tch” and your heart will not get ripped. LOL Ared I agree with you more than 150% chica! Angie it works trust me
By KP
May 6, 2008 12:14 PM | Link to this
Abc, I appreciate you enlightening me with your cross-culture statistics, but I’m focused more on the African-American culture. Within the African-American demographic it is closer to 60%. It is our culture that is taking an absolute pounding because of wayward relationships. My goal and purpose is to get the african-american family back on track. This begins with teaching people how to properly identify a lifemate and not a temporary mate.
SeanJohnson3000, thanks for hitting me up with questions. Some preachers, politicians, police officers and others with authority/power do abuse it for the wrong reasons!
By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON
May 6, 2008 12:15 PM | Link to this
LADY J Standing Oviation!!! Beautiful @ 12:10 !!
By The Truth
May 6, 2008 12:17 PM | Link to this
ABC I believe in evolution. That may be our disconnect. I refuse to believe that a “great god” would have anything to do with some of the charachters that have been or are now in the church.
By star1
May 6, 2008 12:17 PM | Link to this
LOL @TRUTH..tell it
By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON
May 6, 2008 12:20 PM | Link to this
SJ300)
got kinda a natural distrust for white folks, police and preachers…so i ask questions to see angles
Funny!!
By abc
May 6, 2008 12:20 PM | Link to this
KP, I would raise issue with dealing with people as African American People. If you would treat them all as simply people, period, without such distinction, they wouldn’t consider that they had to be treated differently, and likewise would consider that expectations of everyone are (or should be) about the same, regardless their demographic. Pandering to people due to race is counter-productive.
Along the same lines, I would say that in order to achieve the so-called ‘American Dream’, you have to want to be a part of it. Separatism is counter-productive.
By QC
May 6, 2008 12:21 PM | Link to this
Hey Staceye
By Darrell (a.k.a. The Pauper)
May 6, 2008 12:24 PM | Link to this
KP “My goal and purpose is to get the african-american family back on track.”
You and I have similar goals. Before I added “The Pauper” to my blog moniker (inside blog joke), I tagged my Web site alongside my name. I invite you to check it out and offer me your feedback. It’s called blackthen.com
By Sunshine
May 6, 2008 12:25 PM | Link to this
I’m just playing devil’s advocate here, but what happens when you give a man 4-6 months for his “representative” to go away,finally decide to “give him the goodies” only to discover that not only is he oblivious to a woman’s anatomy, but he’s also hung like a toddler? I’m just sayin…I’m all for getting to know a person, but why invest all that time and energy into something that may instantly fizzle when things get physical?
By Angie
May 6, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this
6’1 i’m not going to be a biatch, but he’ll know what’s up. john is calling me, blowing the celly up! this is the guy who got the puddy whenever, wherever. i asked him why is he still single? he said, i haven’t found the one. i said, why call me? he said because i miss you. wtf? after not answering his calls, he sends me a e-mail. can i at least take you to dinner? no, you can’t.
that was not easy for me
By Curious
May 6, 2008 12:27 PM | Link to this
@ANGIE-no offense but are u on the heavy side, plump, fat whatever u wnat to call it. You read like it at times. No Offense u read like a good person but have low self esteem IMO.
By katie
May 6, 2008 12:30 PM | Link to this
Ava this man is not interested in something permanent,if you have to hunt him down there is someone else, and you don’t have to see evidence in his place, you can see it in his actions. Let him gooooooo(lol)
By Jazzyone
May 6, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this
*6’18 become a b*** and you’ll be alone or a jump off…a real man is not going to deal with strife in the home after he has to fight the world all day. Seriously….vulnerability is a part of love and you can’t fully feel that love until you become vulnerable.
That doesn’t mean being dumb or watching for game. Become the best you that you can be and you will attract that back. Have some standards and boundaries and all game will fall to the wayside. Show a man who you are and how you expect to be treated and either he will fall back or come at you with everything he has in his being to make you part of his team. Being a strong woman does not equate to being a b***. It just shows trife, strife and stress that works as a repellent for a good man.
By abc
May 6, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this
Consider this, Truth: God created evolution. Ruminate on that. (not marinate, please!) What’s a day to God? Was is 24 hours before there was an Earth to spin around the Sun? What’s a season? These are relative terms.
Many of the more visible ‘characters’ in the church these days have nothing to do with God.
By KP
May 6, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this
Truth/Star1, I agree with some of the distrust that folks have against people in the church. However, the few should not taint your desire for spiritual nourishment. You don’t stop going to McDonalds because the one in College Park gave you cold fries??? If you have a distrust with a leader in the church, then find one that makes you feel more comfortable. Remember…going to church is for corporate fellowship. Interaction with God is a personal relationship! In ATL…people use church as a social network when it was never intended to be used that way. Also, the church is the one place where a leader can declare themself to be ‘called by God’ without folks truly inspecting the fruit of their leadership. Don’t get caught up in the foolishness, but realize that the ‘great God’ will deal harshly with the hypocrites and false prophets of our time.
By Angie
May 6, 2008 12:32 PM | Link to this
curious naw shawty. lol. i can hola hoop a cheerio. thanks satoria!
By lovelyliz
May 6, 2008 12:33 PM | Link to this
If he puts effort into everything but you…………………..
By Wise Diva
May 6, 2008 12:36 PM | Link to this
oh here we go, Curious, now why do you have to take it there!?
People, this is a fantastic discussion, lots of interesting things being said, let’s add value to it instead of downgrading into useless jabs. I’m serious, LOL, we are adults here aren’t we checking my dob on my driver’s license
sigh
By pisces 08
May 6, 2008 12:38 PM | Link to this
@Gina. The opposite.
By Staceye AKA Black Mamba
May 6, 2008 12:38 PM | Link to this
ared I am a total b*tch sometimes to guys and yet they still keep coming! I love it! LOL
Blow Me you miss me sis? LOL
QC hey girl! LOL
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 12:40 PM | Link to this
Now Jazzyone that was a damn good post!!! Being humble and respectful of self will attract the same….Whew Post of the Day to you from me!
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 12:42 PM | Link to this
Now Jazzyone that was a damn good post!!! Being humble and respectful of self will attract the same….Whew Post of the Day to you from me!
By Angie
May 6, 2008 12:42 PM | Link to this
wise it’s ok chica, really. i’m starting to benefit from the jabs i get. keep em comin’.
By Kym
May 6, 2008 12:42 PM | Link to this
KP Today’s misuse of Jesus’s teachings has caused quite a few people to move away from “corporate fellowship.” I know I am one of them.
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this
Now Jazzyone that was a damn good post!!! Being humble and respectful of self will attract the same….Whew Post of the Day to you from me!
By Darrell (a.k.a. The Pauper)
May 6, 2008 12:45 PM | Link to this
Wise
It’s unfortunate, but you and I both know that “DOB” attests only to one’s age, not their level of maturity.
By Jazzyone
May 6, 2008 12:46 PM | Link to this
And still single….What you give you get..so be that Biatch but you will be single for a very very long time let some of that biatchayness go and you might attract a man that wants to be with you for more than than just sex or comeovers A MAN, not a child, not a boy but a MAN. You have to become a real WOMAN before you attract a real MAN….LOL
By Shell
May 6, 2008 12:47 PM | Link to this
@Jazzyone, Become the best you that you can be and you will attract that back.
You are so right. I learn this years ago and it’s working for me till this day.
@KP, I feel you with trying to look out for African American relationships. Many black men and women treating each other like body parts rather than emotional human beings. You don’t know how many times I hear both black men and women saying they can’t find one decent person. If this is true, then something in going wrong on both sides of the fence. I applaud your efforts in trying to educate our men and women on the beauty of true relationships.
By SeanJohnson3000
May 6, 2008 12:49 PM | Link to this
@Truth…i so feel your 12:17 post….was chopping it up with a coworker about the church last friday ……when i said basically the same thing u said…this chic told me it was a sin to talk bad about any preacher…because he is someone God had called…
@ Blown…u need “hands” put on you…get that talk back demon out of you….but seriously….why yo butt dont ride the train?
By Angie
May 6, 2008 12:49 PM | Link to this
lady j do me a favor. when you click post, close out your webpage, or after clicking post, click refresh. have you tried this before?
page you get my junk e-mails?
hi QC, staceye!
By KP
May 6, 2008 12:50 PM | Link to this
abc, i see where you are going with your perspective and I believe you have a valid point. However, the cross-cultural makeup of families is signficantly different and the differences must be addressed. I would love to approach the topic of family with an understanding that everyone believes in the two-parent household. I would love to approach family with an understanding that we should save $$$ for a rainy day and it’s okay for us to leave an inheritance for our children’s children. However, there is a different mindset across all cultures (blacks, whites, jews, asians, etc.) and I have been called to deal with the African-American family. Once we can change the mindset of our people, then we can look to level-set the approach to problems cross-culturally. Unfortunately, there isn’t a one-size fits all approach to dealing with family/relationship problems.
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 12:50 PM | Link to this
me too kym and coming closer and closer to him daily without all that social hype that drives me crazy…
By 6'1 & Luvin it (Dat B*tch)
May 6, 2008 12:52 PM | Link to this
Jazzy I get it!!!!!! I agree with you Staceye!
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 12:52 PM | Link to this
me too kym and coming closer and closer to him daily without all that social hype that drives me crazy…
By Curious
May 6, 2008 12:53 PM | Link to this
@Angie & Wise Sorry I was wrong
By Darrell (a.k.a. The Pauper)
May 6, 2008 12:53 PM | Link to this
Jazzy
Your 12:46 post (with which I agree, by the way) brings up a question in my mind, which I’d like to pose to all the blog females:
Why is it that so many women today deem it a virtue to be seen as a “biatch”?
I mean, seriously. What are women who espouse to that mindset trying to prove, anyway? Please explain to me how having such a reputation is seen as a positive by some women?
Diva - not trying to change the topic, mind you. I’m just curious while this is top-of-mind. ;-)
By Jazzyone
May 6, 2008 12:54 PM | Link to this
Shell and LADYJ I live it also and attract the men that I want in my life and have a very good one in it right now. Even if you meet someone that isn’t your life partner, the encounter of having that person in your life if only as a friend is a plus. You can learn from them or they fit in otherways of just relationships. I have that in my life and it feels good. Im not perfect but relationship/strife issues I don’t have..more like what shoes to put on to match my skirt…whatevs’
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 12:54 PM | Link to this
me too kym and coming closer and closer to him daily without all that social hype that drives me crazy…
By 6'1 & Luvin it (Dayuumit Man)
May 6, 2008 12:57 PM | Link to this
Okay Okay!!! Already
By CoachB
May 6, 2008 12:59 PM | Link to this
not sure what number this is on the ladies’ list but if you ask her why she isn’t married and she looks at you and says she hasn’t met him yet that is exactly what she means.
By Jazzyone
May 6, 2008 1:01 PM | Link to this
Darrell I see it as a protection mechanism for the heart. I also see it as a way to keep them all away including the good ones without even trying. That type of behavior exhudes from the pores although one can think they hide it..It attracts a certain type of male back all up in your groove.
By Page1908
May 6, 2008 1:02 PM | Link to this
Hey Queen Carmen
Angie lol yes, girl, I get your emails…keep ‘em coming. I forward them to Staceye and QC too….you know I have to keep them girls awake during the day while at work lol.
LOL @ LadyJ’s triple post once again.
By KP
May 6, 2008 1:02 PM | Link to this
Darrell, good stuff on the blackthen website. I will continue to visit it!
Sunshine, if all you are looking for is orgasm, then you can hire out for that…just kidding. I think sex is an important component to a committed relationship, but most people who are truly into one another can leverage love, respect and admiration of their partner to reach orgasmic levels during lovemaking. If a man isn’t packing size-wise, then use what he has to its maximum capacity. Good sexual stimulators can make their partners reach orgasm before penetration even takes place (this goes for men and women). Give me a good wife…I can TEACH her to become good to me sexually. Once again…we want things to come immediately in our relationships and don’t desire to work :(.
By Kym
May 6, 2008 1:03 PM | Link to this
SJ I have heard that one too..alot. It is sinful to raise your hand-tongue..blah blah against a man of God..my response is normally..”Many are called very few are choosen.”
By Darrell (a.k.a. The Pauper)
May 6, 2008 1:10 PM | Link to this
Thanks, KP.
Thanks for that feedback, Jazzy.
By Angie
May 6, 2008 1:12 PM | Link to this
CoachB y’all got me on a roll today! lol. anyhoo, i’m in a position right now where i can’t get the man i want. it’s like we’re in line. i’m looking at him, and he’s looking at her, and she’s looking at the next dude, etc. lol. so you’re right! but the chase is sweet.
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 1:14 PM | Link to this
page donations are welcome for a new laptop…lol
By KP
May 6, 2008 1:15 PM | Link to this
@Kym…don’t give up on corporate fellowship. Just find a place that meets your needs. Church isn’t a one-size fits all entity. Don’t give up! There are things of destiny that will not be able to achieve without God in your life. You can’t rely on pookie, ray-ray or sally to feed you the nourishment you need to achieve greatness. Human beings will let you down every single time!
By mamalongleggs
May 6, 2008 1:15 PM | Link to this
Good day Everyone, after speed reading, there were some great pointers some I’m aware of and others, well…Okay I’m guilty of doing the same as the men, I learned from my environment. Some guy paid for the last guy dogging me in, did I feel sorry? no, b/c chances are I was his pay back. I know what’s out there and I’ve had more than my share of “I’ll call you back, lemme hit you back, or I was just so busy” Just like I took it I dished it out too.
Now that I’ve tweaked my attitude and looking at my life in a whole new direction I know BS when I see it and I’m with you Staceye I don’t have time for the BS anymore.
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 1:16 PM | Link to this
page donations are welcome for a new laptop…lol
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 1:17 PM | Link to this
Angie darling my laptop is broken and this is my outlit for now as it is yours too…I know how to blog it is the work browser and oh the hell well…hope this explanation is suffice or just try to ignore the triple post…I wil never click three times for attentions from strangers!
Jazzy I fell ya!
By QC
May 6, 2008 1:18 PM | Link to this
Page you ain’t neva lied….please keep the emails coming..thank you sooooo much!
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 1:18 PM | Link to this
page donations are welcome for a new laptop…lol
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 1:19 PM | Link to this
Angie darling my laptop is broken and this is my outlit for now as it is yours too…I know how to blog it is the work browser and oh the hell well…hope this explanation is suffice or just try to ignore the triple post…I wil never click three times for attentions from strangers!
Jazzy I fell ya!
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 1:21 PM | Link to this
Angie darling my laptop is broken and this is my outlit for now as it is yours too…I know how to blog it is the work browser and oh the hell well…hope this explanation is suffice or just try to ignore the triple post…I wil never click three times for attentions from strangers!
Jazzy I fell ya!
By SexyLeggs
May 6, 2008 1:27 PM | Link to this
I am working my little fanny off over here. Darrell, I am not even trying to be a b….. However, I know firsthand, that men pay attention to them and even marry them. I dated this guy for a long period of time back in the day. He also had a biatch that I found out about later. While I stepped aside he put more and more time into her and eventually married her. They’re divorced now, but he would tell me that although I am a good catch she seemed more into him because she b…..and moaned over him constantly. To this day I still say WTF….
Now ,the b…..in 2008 are using nastiness as a coping mechanism because you guys are all over the place and are so full of lies and deceit (most of you not all)!
By Kym
May 6, 2008 1:31 PM | Link to this
KP What exactly makes you think that God is not apart of my life? I am actually smiling as I type this because what you just typed is the typical Church folks mentality. If you dont get up on Sunday and hit up 7:00am service or 10:00 service in your Sunday best then there is something lacking in your relationship with God. Hmmm did you not just say that the relationship with God is a personal relationship? Which means I have to know God for myself in spirt and truth. Which I do. I have come to realize that “The I Am loves me from Sunday to Sundown and that the personal relationship(Gratitude) that I feel for each and ever breath I take will never be defined by some man or woman who has covered themselves in the breastplate of self-rightousness. That relationship is not a “corporate” thang..That is a Kym and I Am thang.
By mytwocents
May 6, 2008 1:34 PM | Link to this
katie Did you date colorblind before marrying? Or anyone else who did pls respond cuz some things are def common sense but then I honestly wonder if some is cultural (male-female power struggles manifesting in foolish mating rituals.)
Lady J I think its you w/ the tables turned commentary. Why is it so confusing or considered cold hearted when women heed these so called signals or simply refuse to entertain bs from jump?
Cee *Danger Zone ~Clearheaded enough to theorize. And Yesterday’s “heart’ tis true. Expect next @ 4:45.
By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON
May 6, 2008 1:34 PM | Link to this
SJ3000 What’s good with the cable though. I don’t ride the train because I do alot of thinking in my car and I have tried it once and felt like it was a big inconvience. The ppl, the ghetto kids and germs…and it is slow too. I just don’t like it. I may change my mind if gas goes to $4..I will not have a choice. And about my BARK…Again this is just for entertainment. I hate that so many ppl take me for being serious. I am just out pullin yall legs and having fun. But Do you really want to tone down this bark? I got a few things you can do….lol!!
By Sunshine
May 6, 2008 1:35 PM | Link to this
KP
I understand exactly what you’re saying. Love, respect, and admiration are certainly very important aspects of a relationship, HOWEVER, those who say that too much emphasis is put on sex are just fooling themselves. YOU may not think that it’s very important, but please believe your man/woman IS thinking about it. I’ve heard several men say that they’re not pleased with the amount of effort their woman puts into the sexual side of their relationship. And believe me when I tell you that this goes BOTH ways. A woman who’s man isn’t very affectionate and attentive to her needs will often find herself staring a little too long at the UPS man pondering the possibilities!
By I am Legend
May 6, 2008 1:37 PM | Link to this
However, I know firsthand, that men pay attention to them and even marry them. I dated this guy for a long period of time back in the day. He also had a biatch that I found out about later. While I stepped aside he put more and more time into her and eventually married her. They’re divorced now, but he would tell me that although I am a good catch she seemed more into him because she b…..and moaned over him constantly. To this day I still say WTF….
^^^THAT TYPE OF MAN IS LOOKING FOR A MOTHEr
By SexyLeggs
May 6, 2008 1:47 PM | Link to this
You got it IamLegend.
Blow, of course they know you’re yanking their chains (I hope they know..LOL)
mytwocents, I’ll be the first to admit I dated colorblind. Glasses are off now, I know what I’m looking for.
By mamalongleggs
May 6, 2008 1:48 PM | Link to this
THAT TYPE OF MAN IS LOOKING FOR A MOTHEr @ Truth I’ve seem that type more time than once. You know the type who can’t make a move unless directed by his woman, it’s called “hen pecked”
By Unknown
May 6, 2008 1:49 PM | Link to this
Did you guys hear about the lady who received 5 years for killing her lover? As her husband was coming up the driveway, she jumps out of her lovers car and screamed rape. Her husband shot and killed him.
By mamalongleggs
May 6, 2008 1:49 PM | Link to this
That post was directed to I am Legend not Truth
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 1:49 PM | Link to this
don’t know mytwocents but this mofo that keep calling me after I said in simple terms over and over again has struck a nerve….Not trying to hijak the blog but when he threw a jab at me saying “I KNOW WHY YOU DIVORCE” and this jackass don’t have a clue just making a judgement bc I won’t come to his house and f his brains out and leave….boy yeah I am hot today…This blog has helped me with standards and expectations however I laid it out what I want and what I am going after but this negro turns the table on me like it is my fault for not obliging and I am the dumb one for being divorce…This is personal to me! Men do it everyday when that not feeling a chick and we as women have to keep moving or be labled THE CRAZY BCHICKITCH…I am really sick of the sex games…We all play them but it gets old with time and age!!!! Sorry DIva and GREAT TOPIC AGAIN!!!
By Sidelines....
May 6, 2008 1:51 PM | Link to this
Out of lurksville….
@I am Legend, THAT TYPE OF MAN IS LOOKING FOR A MOTHEr…very interesting perspective, expound on that please, I never thought of it that way, for whatever reason, but it makes sense now that I think about it. hmmmmm….
@Kym…a very ‘Egoic’ statement on minister KP’s part, but I’m very interested in his response, cause that was a very good point you made! Oh, I’m still reading, in the midst of the “Pain Body”…I read you were finished already, would like to chat about that later when I’m done, of course…
Back to lurksville, oh..Hey everybody….
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 1:51 PM | Link to this
don’t know mytwocents but this mofo that keep calling me after I said in simple terms over and over again has struck a nerve….Not trying to hijak the blog but when he threw a jab at me saying “I KNOW WHY YOU DIVORCE” and this jackass don’t have a clue just making a judgement bc I won’t come to his house and f his brains out and leave….boy yeah I am hot today…This blog has helped me with standards and expectations however I laid it out what I want and what I am going after but this negro turns the table on me like it is my fault for not obliging and I am the dumb one for being divorce…This is personal to me! Men do it everyday when that not feeling a chick and we as women have to keep moving or be labled THE CRAZY BCHICKITCH…I am really sick of the sex games…We all play them but it gets old with time and age!!!! Sorry DIva and GREAT TOPIC AGAIN!!!
By SexyLeggs
May 6, 2008 1:52 PM | Link to this
Naw mamalongleggs, it’s called puddywhipped!!!
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 1:54 PM | Link to this
don’t know mytwocents but this mofo that keep calling me after I said in simple terms over and over again has struck a nerve….Not trying to hijak the blog but when he threw a jab at me saying “I KNOW WHY YOU DIVORCE” and this jackass don’t have a clue just making a judgement bc I won’t come to his house and f his brains out and leave….boy yeah I am hot today…This blog has helped me with standards and expectations however I laid it out what I want and what I am going after but this negro turns the table on me like it is my fault for not obliging and I am the dumb one for being divorce…This is personal to me! Men do it everyday when that not feeling a chick and we as women have to keep moving or be labled THE CRAZY BCHICKITCH…I am really sick of the sex games…We all play them but it gets old with time and age!!!! Sorry DIva and GREAT TOPIC AGAIN!!!
By Cemeeli
May 6, 2008 1:54 PM | Link to this
Why is it so confusing or considered cold hearted when women heed these so called signals or simply refuse to entertain bs from jump?
mytwo…you didn’t ask me, but here goes…i remember one day 6’1’ made a comment about how/why do some women are uncormfortable/unable to “look” at your guy straight after a good good (which was interesting in itself). Now i’m not, but i thought…hmmm that must be the same look i think i have with a dude that come with that bs. looking, bewildered at his hot mess.
Be it as it may.
P.S. Cee actually forgets (flush n wash) & let go all this peanut gallery commentary daily.
By KP
May 6, 2008 1:56 PM | Link to this
@Kym, I am smiling while I write this because your response is typical of someone who feels that someone is judging them. I am not in a position to judge you. My statement opened-up with don’t give up on corporate fellowship. I don’t know you to assess your personal relationship :). Keep doing what you do as it relates to your personal relationship, but corporate fellowship is also an important part of spiritual maturity. There are many people who gave up on the church because of hypocrisy and other shady things, but eventually found a place they could call home. I’m just trying to encourage you to keep searching. Relationship also implies giving…see John 3:16. You are to participate in corporate fellowship so you can give/share your testimony/life story with others. Relationships don’t mean much if they aren’t used to help others who may be going through something that you have experience with. Smile!
By KJ
May 6, 2008 1:59 PM | Link to this
So if a guy doesn’t call, doesn’t make plans, and doesn’t show up for dates, he’s not interested. Groundbreaking stuff, here.
Also, LOL @ men being responsible for female insanity.
By Hotlanta
May 6, 2008 2:00 PM | Link to this
KP a lot of women like myself don’t meet a man and get all emotional because he called or kissed me. Don’t put all of us in a box. Your analogy is all wrong. We know when to turn it on and when to turn it off. When I first a man I don’t expect anything out of him. We meet, we talk, we went on a date and that is that. It might be months before I decide to get serious. I play the numbers with men. I date several at one time. I don’t put all of my eggs in one basket. If a guy doesn’t call back so be it. I don’t care. I have a rich full life where I don’t dwell on a phone call to make my day nor my life. I move on and say Next. I don’t have time to try to be all spiritual about everything. I see it for what it is and that is spiritual enough for this woman. Men are just as emotional than we are but they don’t like to admit it. if they admit it they are labeled a punk.
By Hotlanta
May 6, 2008 2:00 PM | Link to this
KP a lot of women like myself don’t meet a man and get all emotional because he called or kissed me. Don’t put all of us in a box. Your analogy is all wrong. We know when to turn it on and when to turn it off. When I first a man I don’t expect anything out of him. We meet, we talk, we went on a date and that is that. It might be months before I decide to get serious. I play the numbers with men. I date several at one time. I don’t put all of my eggs in one basket. If a guy doesn’t call back so be it. I don’t care. I have a rich full life where I don’t dwell on a phone call to make my day nor my life. I move on and say Next. I don’t have time to try to be all spiritual about everything. I see it for what it is and that is spiritual enough for this woman. Men are just as emotional than we are but they don’t like to admit it. if they admit it they are labeled a punk.
By mamalongleggs
May 6, 2008 2:03 PM | Link to this
LOL @ SexyLeggs
By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON
May 6, 2008 2:03 PM | Link to this
SexyLeggs No they don’t. These ppl get really salty and p**. Really. It’s so easy to yank their chains that is what makes it so FUN to do! But I am glad you know. lmao!
By Ava
May 6, 2008 2:03 PM | Link to this
I should add that I’ve never flat out asked him if there’s someone else; at times I berate myself for thinking the worst of him - not the best train of thought for a new-ish relationship.
I don’t like to toss out accusations when all I have to back them up are the voices in my head!
By Cemeeli
May 6, 2008 2:04 PM | Link to this
mytwo…Heart… okay. i forgot i posted that. So i take that back…i remember stuff i post. whew.
By Raqi
May 6, 2008 2:05 PM | Link to this
KP I hope you stick around. I can see us having some very in-depth discussions on a day I am feeling a bit more relationshipy.
By Kym
May 6, 2008 2:05 PM | Link to this
Sidelines I would be happy to discuss with you. Glad to see you are reading..”that chapter on Pain-body is eye-opening and really does make you look at the Man in the mirror..Enjoy. Don’t forget the webcast..I dont think I would have gotten so much out of the book without the webcast.
By I am Legend
May 6, 2008 2:07 PM | Link to this
@sidelines..simple the man equates all that doting on him to love…like mama did….so sexyleggs independence was too much for him..he prolly was raised around a bunch of women who fussed over him all the time so he expects that with the women he loves…get it
@lady j…brush your shoulders off lady….lol…it gets better….
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 2:10 PM | Link to this
ava from my experience if you feel it it is true nine times out of ten we have common sense and choose to ignore for sake jmo only though who am I…
By SlimOne
May 6, 2008 2:11 PM | Link to this
kimmie If you’re in here…I did see Dru from College Hill in Velvet Room. I know you watch a lot of shows when you get a chance.
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 2:12 PM | Link to this
ava from my experience if you feel it it is true nine times out of ten we have common sense and choose to ignore for sake jmo only though who am I…
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 2:14 PM | Link to this
ava from my experience if you feel it it is true nine times out of ten we have common sense and choose to ignore for sake jmo only though who am I…
By Cemeeli
May 6, 2008 2:14 PM | Link to this
where is Lurker today?
By Ava
May 6, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this
I’m not sure it’s true; my last guy cheated on me (actually I was the other woman but I didn’t know). I’m tarring all guys with the same brush and it’s not right. How do I deal with my issues and his disappearing act??
By KP
May 6, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this
@Sunshine, I respect your opinion and see your perspective. Hopefully, we can continue to engage in dialog, but we can just agree to disagree on this particular item.
@Hotlanta, my analogy is representative of a majority…not of totality. Some of you do know when and how to turn it off. However, through research and counseling, this IS NOT the case for most. It seems that you have created your personal approach to relationships through past experiences. That is what most of us do. However, I would caution you on trying to identify Mr. Right when you are engaged in simultaneous dating. It is very difficult learn someone in the midst of mulitiplicity. You have found comfort in this season in your life and applaud you for that. However, you cannot experience love without taking a chance, allowing yourself to become vulnerable to one man and experiencing the highs and lows of monogomous relationships. Our dating practices have become tainted because we allow ourselves multiple options. When one person messes up, we call on the next one (have you seen the MTV show Next, or Real Flava of Love?). My analogy isn’t skewed, but my not currently represent you :).
I agree that men are emotional creatures too. We are sometimes more dangerous because we haven’t learned how to channel our emotions. They used to say nothing is worse than a woman scorn, but I would like to offer up this to you. A man who falls in love and then experiences heartbreak may be worse than a woman scorn.
By Kym
May 6, 2008 2:19 PM | Link to this
KP Smiling back at cha. Because if you know anything about “fellowship” then you would know that the fellowship and sharing of experiences happens daily(hourly here on this very blog) and not on Wednesday evenings or Sunday mornings. To fellowship and share experiences should be done..daily and with everyone..regardless of religious afflilation(sp). Not because you are trying to speak life into anyone’s situation or because you are trying to spread the good news..but because as humans being..it is what comes naturally. If anything religious doctrine(Insert your religion here) has done more to breed division than actual fellowship. But each of us chooses a path and I bless the path you have choosen.
By Darrell (a.k.a. The Pauper)
May 6, 2008 2:22 PM | Link to this
Legend
“simple the man equates all that doting on him to love…like mama did”
I don’t necessarily disagree with that notion, but I would add that your logic would seem to apply only in instances where a man’s mother was very loving, nurturing and, perhaps, even overprotective to a certain extent. However, the flip side of that is that many men interpret it that way because of what they didn’t get from their mother and they see their mate as a “surrogate” to get the “love” they always wanted, but never received.
We all have needs; nothing wrong with that. However, we need to be careful of those who might see us as a means to an end in feeding their dependency. That’s where you have to draw the line.
By Lurker
May 6, 2008 2:23 PM | Link to this
@ Cemeeli - I’m here:) Lurking or course. Quite interest read today.
By Lurker
May 6, 2008 2:23 PM | Link to this
@ Cemeeli - I’m here:) Lurking or course. Quite interesting read today.
By Sidelines...
May 6, 2008 2:24 PM | Link to this
@Kym, I almost forgot about the webcast, you mentioned that last time, I aim to check it out though for sure. That “Pain Body”…is something else!
@IAM, I get it…interesting, because I’ve seen/met men who were raised that way (around women who doted over him), yet appears to lean or are drawn to women who ‘belittle’ him, not necessarily run from them. I guess do the opposite, interesting…
By SexyLeggs
May 6, 2008 2:26 PM | Link to this
Ava, WTH…those voices in your head is your INTUITION. What’s wrong with simply asking him if he’s seeing someelse. Girl, you better ask before one of those voices take over and you become Ava2 (LOL). Sorry!
By M.
May 6, 2008 2:27 PM | Link to this
@SexyLeggs
Now ,the b…..in 2008 are using nastiness as a coping mechanism because you guys are all over the place and are so full of lies and deceit (most of you not all)!
Does this statement apply to women or just guys? I think infidelity does not discriminate based on gender. Ive come across women who have a bf/husband/seperated but not divorced etc and they are still acting single.
By Look in the mirror
May 6, 2008 2:27 PM | Link to this
Blow Day in day out but you come off as an unhappy child most days. Yanking everyone elses chain is not what your doing your portraying yourself as a person with issues,single,alone and self esteem issues and immature to say the least.
If you go back and notice the flow of the blog your posts stick out as sore thumbs almost like they don’t fit in to the general fluidity of the conversations here. Seeking attention or something. As I go back to rolling past your posts, don’t make everyone else seem as though they have issues when the issue is you.
By Julie
May 6, 2008 2:27 PM | Link to this
Never make someone a priority when they only make you an option.
By abc
May 6, 2008 2:28 PM | Link to this
KP, that’s even more of a load than your notions about different treatment per race.
Women scorned often resort to vandalizing cars, sabotaging jobs and other relationships; there was a topic here some time ago where the chicks fondly remembered the psycho things they did.
Men scorned typically disappear and don’t give you another chance. How is that worse than women?
By KP
May 6, 2008 2:30 PM | Link to this
@Kym, Amen! I plan on being a regular participant on this blog and other blogs as well. I’ll see you around.
Thanks for the interesting dialog and hazing(i am a kappa:)) ya’ll have given me today! I pray that ya’ll accept me back into the blog in the future. I have officially gotten NO work done today debating various issues :) and need to catch up.
Peace out!
By kinderbabe
May 6, 2008 2:30 PM | Link to this
ladyj don’t worry about the comment that guy made. hurt people hurt others. watch the movements of those constantly slinging dirt in people’s eyes. they are only trying to blind you from seeing their ish…lol. keep doing you, girl.
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 2:31 PM | Link to this
@I am Legend will do and really hope as I aproach 30 in another yr speaking to men 5 to 10 yrs older it does get better bc if it doesn’t I will not be remarring anybody’s son….I know see I can do it without having a man just for sake to have a man…It is too time consuming and I will forever lose me trying to have and keep a man! But Jazzy summed it up as I continue to get J right many are falling by the wayside and going through the battle won’t be as tough as I am making it out to be in the long run! It is ok to be single and HAPPY!!!
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 2:33 PM | Link to this
@I am Legend will do and really hope as I aproach 30 in another yr speaking to men 5 to 10 yrs older it does get better bc if it doesn’t I will not be remarring anybody’s son….I know see I can do it without having a man just for sake to have a man…It is too time consuming and I will forever lose me trying to have and keep a man! But Jazzy summed it up as I continue to get J right many are falling by the wayside and going through the battle won’t be as tough as I am making it out to be in the long run! It is ok to be single and HAPPY!!!
By shell
May 6, 2008 2:34 PM | Link to this
@KP, Just my personal beliefs, but I never like the of dating more than one person at a time. I always valued intimacy. When you’re scared of getting your heart broken it’s easy to say it’s not me, oh well, and move on to the next person. Sometimes I think men and women aren’t just scared of being alone. I never worry about if I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life. When a relationship ends I just put that time back into me. I’m now at the point in my life I just sit back and enjoy the relationship in the present without worrying about the future. If dude has another woman, that’s on him. If doesn’t think I’m the one, then fine, hurrying and leave so I can be good to the next man who comes into my life.
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 2:35 PM | Link to this
@I am Legend will do and really hope as I aproach 30 in another yr speaking to men 5 to 10 yrs older it does get better bc if it doesn’t I will not be remarring anybody’s son….I know see I can do it without having a man just for sake to have a man…It is too time consuming and I will forever lose me trying to have and keep a man! But Jazzy summed it up as I continue to get J right many are falling by the wayside and going through the battle won’t be as tough as I am making it out to be in the long run! It is ok to be single and HAPPY!!!
By SeanJohnson3000
May 6, 2008 2:39 PM | Link to this
@ Blown….be you and do you….i for one enjoy when you and Truth go back and forth…its slapstick….reminds me of Martin and Pam…as far as transpo if more people bought less gas….the price would go down….its simple…all about supply and demand…and you dont need cable….read a book..lol
@Unknown…that happened a few years ago…the chick shoulda received 20 years…but dude was dumb enough to creep at her house…
on another news headline….what do yall think about the horse that broke his leg at the derby..if i am not mistaken…they killed him on the spot..
By Kym
May 6, 2008 2:40 PM | Link to this
Sidelines After reading that chapter(and I am reviewing it again for sure) I had to do a huge inner assessment because it is easy to see others pain-body but it hurts(suffering) to look at your own.
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 2:40 PM | Link to this
thanks kb that thought came to me briefly but my anger took over and before you knew I cussed him out soo bad…he is still calling now trying to apologize…called from a number I didn’t know and when I answered and heard his voice CLICK!!! If you got women all over the A please call them…I don’t have gold I am not all that I am flawed just leave me alone bc I don’t want you and I told him that last night! Ok I am finish with it and as always THANKS MIA BLOG!!! Peace
By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON
May 6, 2008 2:42 PM | Link to this
lmao @ Look in the Mirror who are you really? If you ROLL pass my responses..why are you commenting and foot-noting them? But nonetheless make it a great day.
OH yeah I do have issues….gas is $4 a gallon..and that makes me very emotional. My new move has caused me to use up a full gallon of gas in less than a week. Can you help me out a bit? More issues I have is what pair of shoes should I take with me next week for my trip. Also ANOTHER is I can’t find a good undercover cable guy! WINK WINK!
YOU have the issues if you let a screenname provoke you to sit down and write an essay about what I do. Come on wit it…as a matter of fact sit yo a* down.
I got my hands full of haters..and I am going to need for you to take a number and come back later. lol! Now if you got a CABLE guy I’ll let you skip the line! lmao!
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 2:42 PM | Link to this
thanks kb that thought came to me briefly but my anger took over and before you knew I cussed him out soo bad…he is still calling now trying to apologize…called from a number I didn’t know and when I answered and heard his voice CLICK!!! If you got women all over the A please call them…I don’t have gold I am not all that I am flawed just leave me alone bc I don’t want you and I told him that last night! Ok I am finish with it and as always THANKS MIA BLOG!!! Peace
By Lady J
May 6, 2008 2:44 PM | Link to this
thanks kb that thought came to me briefly but my anger took over and before you knew I cussed him out soo bad…he is still calling now trying to apologize…called from a number I didn’t know and when I answered and heard his voice CLICK!!! If you got women all over the A please call them…I don’t have gold I am not all that I am flawed just leave me alone bc I don’t want you and I told him that last night! Ok I am finish with it and as always THANKS MIA BLOG!!! Peace
By KP
May 6, 2008 2:45 PM | Link to this
abc, what makes a man scorned worse than a woman scorned is this…
Women usually attack physical belongings, most of which can be replaced. Women typically cry, throw a temper tantrum, but eventually move on (it may take a while).
Men can become stalkers in the lives of women they don’t want to let go of (that is very scary). However, like you mentioned…they typically vanish into midair, but that is even scarier. They may leave you alone, but they wreak havoc in the lives of every other woman they come across.
I wrote blog posts on my blog (http:chatkafe.blogspot.com) called ‘Which Man Are You?’ and ‘Which Woman Are You?’ Almost every man you come across that is labeled a dog is typically that way because of a heartbreak they experienced several years earlier.
It is my experience that women learn how to rebound from disappointment and failed relationships better than men can. Hurt men are menaces to society from a relationship perspective if they never learn to recover from the disappointment.
I’m out!
By Cemeeli
May 6, 2008 2:48 PM | Link to this
Men scorned typically disappear and don’t give you another chance. How is that worse than women?
abc hmmm…this ^ is not so much with every man (he disappear). What KP mentioned about a man who falls in love and then experiences heartbreak may be worse than a woman scorn, is true. The supposingly heartbeaking woman becomes either that mans enemy or his goal. Even if that goal may not be reach that woman needed make sure to keep herself out of his way because it can surely get not so friendly.
By For Real
May 6, 2008 2:48 PM | Link to this
What up Blog Fam!
KP I know I am late but your 11:46 has some holes in it.
Physical Attraction –> Emotional Attachment –> Spiritual Connection = the elements that brings man to woman or woman to man. Character is embedded in the physical, emotional and spiritual. Thus, how can one remove or downplay those factors when that’s where ones character resides?
Women like complexity because it is within the complexity that woman can hide their responsibility for their actions. Telling women to remove the essence of a man to find their character is an oxymoron and you do them no favor in continuing to mystify the simple. God gave us all our five senses to use as the bases for making decision. Choosing to ignore your senses is irrational which leads to stupidity and not taking responsibility for your own actions.
This came from Blow so take as it was written. “8:28 - WHY DO GUYS HAVE TO PLAY THESE LITTLE BOY GAMES? MAN UP and state the TRUTH!! That’s what develops crazy chicks….the mixed SIGNALS that is being sent out!!!” and again at *9:50 - Raqi Look I am fluckin p* at your post! @ 9:41am…Omgosh why do I do that. Stop tellin our BUZINESS..PLEASE! LMAO!*
See irrational and no accountability.
For Real now giving Page a church hug from the back. Aaaaa man!
By SexyLeggs
May 6, 2008 2:49 PM | Link to this
M, it applies to both genders. I never understood the “separated” aspect of leaving one’s mate. Separated for years on end and never actually divorcing is so foreign to me. If there are pros and cons, I can’t think of any. Why remain legally bound to another? Hence the word “acting” single. It’s all an act because they are still lawfully bound. Hell to da naw!!!!
abc sometimes I wished I had the gumption of vandalizing someone’s car or putting sugar in their tank. I can’t ever go down that route. I think it’s absolutely RIDICULOUS to vandalize someone’s property. Why mess w/someone’s property just to find myself sitting in a jail cell….NOPE!
By The Truth
May 6, 2008 2:50 PM | Link to this
Summary: Our culture, or lack thereof, is a hot mess and getting worse.
Ok, I just back from the px and got a whole fresh pineapple, 2 lbs of strawberries, chips, steaks, marintate. The whole package. So its on tonight. Their grapes looked rank so I passed. LOL My frig is full again.
On religion: None of those muffaga’s are called to do jack. They’re there to make some cash. I’ve never in my life met a cat that was true. They all have an angle. In the history of this world there is nothing that is more divisive, has caused more pain and death, and profitable than religion. Period. It should be though, it was created by a man and as we know man will fugg up anyting he can get his hands on. Look at mother earth as an example. Why we still have that shyt around is beyond me. The church is for folks that don’t want to be responsible for themselves. We worship a white mans god. My .02 and no disrespect.
By Darrell (a.k.a. The Pauper)
May 6, 2008 2:51 PM | Link to this
“It is my experience that women learn how to rebound from disappointment and failed relationships better than men can.”
Oh, I don’t know ‘bout that, KP. That one astronaut chick was a straight-up whacko, if you ask me. LOL!
By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON
May 6, 2008 2:52 PM | Link to this
SJ3000 While you playing..That’s exactly what I have been doing…Reading books. lol! I love to read!! I need a book shelf. One of those joints the wooden ones that lean against the wall. But yeah I love to go back and forth with Truth I think it’s funny. You all make me laugh…..like last week you were talkin about your HILSHIRE…That was funny! lmao! But GAS is like a monopoly is not like we can go without it. But we can conserve and start using the train. Oh yeah so what I can’t get that pole dance now? You owe me a pole dance and my toes licked. Ima need you to pay up. Pay your dues homie. If you’re lucky I’ll let you lick my Cupcake WRAPPER…SJ3000- Singin you so sweet…make me want to lick the wrapper!! So I let like my wrapper!! lmao!!!!!!!!!!
By Look in the Mirror
May 6, 2008 2:54 PM | Link to this
I try as I might to roll past them but you highlight and bold them so much that I had to stop to see what is this CHILD screaming and acting out about. No sorry I don’t have a undercover cable guy, don’t need one. I have money to pay my bills for legitimate services get your bread up case and point. I don’t think what you have is haters but people who pitty such childlike behavior. Its a great day and sunny over here but seems to be cloudy with no umbrella over there. Here have a donut. :-))))))))
By I am Legend
May 6, 2008 2:54 PM | Link to this
@ladyj..always choose happyness….that ish is free..and you can do it alone..feel me…dudes like that are distractions and dead wieght…he see you getting your mind right and wants to stop what your purpose is…i hate folks like that vamps i call them..suck the life blood out of someone for a fleeting emotion…if he needs security tell him to get a lock..if needs a friend…tell em to get a puppy..and if he needs the comfort of a women..tell starship got the blow up dolls going for cheap!!!
By Angie
May 6, 2008 2:55 PM | Link to this
SeanJohnson3000 i think it was a setup. all of a sudden, the husband pulls out a gun?!? yea, right. why did he have a gun? both are guilty. but since he got away with it, god will deal with him personally.
By SexyLeggs
May 6, 2008 2:57 PM | Link to this
Julie, Julie, Julie, whatcha doing darling? You just took my ending post for the day (ROFL).
By Lurker
May 6, 2008 2:59 PM | Link to this
I guess the rules of engagement or when not to could go on as we all have our own bird’s eye view and and no two are the same. However, for me, always a ground rule and a rule of thumb. I will not abandon the ground rules but I’ll venture out a bit for the sake of giving someone I deem worthy a fair shot but at some point, whether or not he’s interested will surface. At that point, I say stay true to self and break. See it for what it is. Don’t doubt yourself nor beat up on yourself. Don’t ask what you could have done better or different because if he’s not interested, more than likely nothing. Take the time to heal if it’s healing you need, to vent if it’s venting you need but at some point chaulk it up as experience do your takeaways and keep it moving.
By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON
May 6, 2008 3:00 PM | Link to this
For Real Look let me play both sides of the FENCE!! I play the Devil’s Advocate on here….There is actually TRUTH on both sides.
Women have issues and so do MEN.
But it’s not about WOMEN today. It’s about the 5 signs of things MEN do.
So Fella email WiseDiva a topic about women tomorrow. So yall can take a shot at us.
Is that better now!
By Bit-O-Honey
May 6, 2008 3:01 PM | Link to this
KP, you should start a church! I’ll be on the #2 usher board…hehe
By Sidelines...
May 6, 2008 3:02 PM | Link to this
@Kym…girl, I’m having quite a few AHA moments myself…it is always good to get some inner reflection and understand why you may have reacted to one situation or another. And, I’ve even gone back years and said Wow, what an awakening. But, I will say that I’ve seen folks that are in my life today in that chapter as well. Oh and I’m cracking up laughing because remember when I was teasing how both you and my best friend’s book was all marked up!!! Girl, I’ve marked that book up and flagged so many pages, it ain’t even funny…lol, I definitely thought about you when I started with the highlighter and pens!!!! Now, I can’t read the book without either.
By SexyLeggs
May 6, 2008 3:03 PM | Link to this
SeanJohnson3000 think about it. Why in the hell would a woman makeout w/another man in her lingerie in the driveway? They both were stupid. But her husband was more stupid that those two by believing her cry for rape. What the hell were you doing in the driveway. He didn’t drag you out of the house in your lingerie just to rape you in the car in the driveway. He should have shot her!!!
By Raqi
May 6, 2008 3:03 PM | Link to this
abc The difference between a woman scorned and a man???
Yes some women do destroy cars and whatnot but some men destroy lives. We see more and more of it every day. If I can’t have you, no one will.
By mytwocents
May 6, 2008 3:03 PM | Link to this
Oh no Lady J, I don’t do well with temper tantrums from children let alone grown ups. He lashed out to ‘retaliate’. See that’s why I questioned TRUTH @ the crack of dawn. Thinkin its much easier for cats to get it twisted in the skewed ratio A when a woman is level headed, more about hers than yours and opts to pass on the ride or stipulates conditions for further enjoyment. You’re an unknown factor to him b/c you know he’s a choice you don’t have to make. What he’s grown accustomed to and knows best is probably the attitudinal/ beggin/ dependent types who rely on ANY attention sprinkled their way whether positive or negative.
WD- KP left just in time to save me from being a groupie. ;)
By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON
May 6, 2008 3:08 PM | Link to this
broken mirror If your name is not bolded keep it moving. Yuck I hate donuts….but a banana & strawberry smoothie right about now would be the TRUTH!!! But this is my last response to a coward with a fake moniker….Oh yeah don’t skimp me on the strawberries either! Wink!
By SeanJohnson3000
May 6, 2008 3:10 PM | Link to this
@ Angie…if i remember the story correctly…happened over 2 years ago…but the wife was having an affair with the dude…i mean episodes at HER house….i think she was in his truck in the drive way getting her american idol on and the husband pulled up….she made an exit stage left and hollared rape…dude their holding his mic…hubby blasted on him on the spot..she later admited guilt…hubby was unaware..as for as having a gun..you would be surprised who carries concealed weapons…and GA just passed a bill that allows them in public places including Marta..i will be applying for mine shortly..
By Lurker
May 6, 2008 3:12 PM | Link to this
@ Mytwocents 3:03 my sentiments exactly. I could not have said it better myself.
By SlimOne
May 6, 2008 3:16 PM | Link to this
Angie SJ is right…I have noticed more and more folks walking or driving around strapped. Which reminds me, I’ll be taking a Weapon Safety class this weekend. I’m a lil freaked out about it because of my fear of guns..but it’ll be a good experience.
By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON
May 6, 2008 3:16 PM | Link to this
Yo….it’s a Mary J Blige -Mary…it’s the Truth today. I love Mary..her music draws you in. I remember as a pre teen I use to try to cut a hole in my hat for my ponytail and my brother’s jersey. Those innocent days….I miss those days. I wish I could turn back the hands of time.
By Angie
May 6, 2008 3:20 PM | Link to this
SeanJohnson3000 guns in the home! that’s another issue i have to deal with. my future booty is gonna kill me. lol.
By Cemeeli
May 6, 2008 3:20 PM | Link to this
when a woman is level headed, more about hers than yours and opts to pass on the ride or stipulates conditions for further enjoyment.
mytwo you know this is very well what causes the tantrum from a dude. Why…cause he can’t shake her.
By Pianist
May 6, 2008 3:20 PM | Link to this
Hi Everyone I am rather new to this I have a problem with this guy I am seeing. I have been talking to this guy for almost a year and a half. When we first started talking he went to a school three hours from me and we spoke on the maybe every two three months, which was fine. Then he transfered to another school that’s a whole lot closer give or take thirty mins. I didn’t really care for him then but as we dated more I became more intrested. Just startung this year I have rarely seen him due to him having two jobs and school. Communication is not that great.I may see him once a month because I am out of town alot due to modeling and school. It just seems as though every time I want to go out he brings up the excuse about funds. I somewhat think it is a cop out, but then again I dont He’s not the typical guy he is so laid back,quite, and such a gentleman.( Total opposite of me)Theres just one problem he going to play ball in another state next school year. SO that kind of vanishes the whole partof even trying to have a committed relationship.I dont know whether to just go with the flow til he leaves to go to another school or he just not intrested anymore. Advice Please!
By SexyLeggs
May 6, 2008 3:22 PM | Link to this
Blow, this is for you:
CREATIVE CONTROL - SECOND SATURDAYS
MAY 10TH, 2008
LEGENDS EDITION:
A TRIBUTE TO MARY J BLIGE
(THE QUEEN OF HIP HOP SOUL)
16 YEARS WORTH OF CLASSICS, REMIXES AND RARITIES
“I keep seeing the same tributes to Stevie Wonder, Marvin Gaye, Prince, Michael Jackson, J Dilla, Etc. Nobodies representing for the Female artists. UNTIL NOW”…
IT’S GOING DOWN AT CENCI 1259 GLENWOOD AVE. (EAST ATLANTA VILLAGE)
By Angie
May 6, 2008 3:23 PM | Link to this
slim i can’t imagine taking someone life. the thought …
By abc
May 6, 2008 3:24 PM | Link to this
Mm hm. Not buyin’ it about ‘scorned men’. A few sensational news stories about men vs. the frequency with which women act out upon breakup does not a paradigm make.
By Pianist
May 6, 2008 3:24 PM | Link to this
Hi Everyone I am rather new to this I have a problem with this guy I am seeing. I have been talking to this guy for almost a year and a half. When we first started talking he went to a school three hours from me and we spoke on the maybe every two three months, which was fine. Then he transfered to another school that’s a whole lot closer give or take thirty mins. I didn’t really care for him then but as we dated more I became more intrested. Just startung this year I have rarely seen him due to him having two jobs and school. Communication is not that great.I may see him once a month because I am out of town alot due to modeling and school. It just seems as though every time I want to go out he brings up the excuse about funds. I somewhat think it is a cop out, but then again I dont He’s not the typical guy he is so laid back,quite, and such a gentleman.( Total opposite of me)Theres just one problem he going to play ball in another state next school year. SO that kind of vanishes the whole partof even trying to have a committed relationship.I dont know whether to just go with the flow til he leaves to go to another school or he just not intrested anymore. Advice Please!
By Pianist
May 6, 2008 3:24 PM | Link to this
Hi Everyone I am rather new to this I have a problem with this guy I am seeing. I have been talking to this guy for almost a year and a half. When we first started talking he went to a school three hours from me and we spoke on the maybe every two three months, which was fine. Then he transfered to another school that’s a whole lot closer give or take thirty mins. I didn’t really care for him then but as we dated more I became more intrested. Just startung this year I have rarely seen him due to him having two jobs and school. Communication is not that great.I may see him once a month because I am out of town alot due to modeling and school. It just seems as though every time I want to go out he brings up the excuse about funds. I somewhat think it is a cop out, but then again I dont He’s not the typical guy he is so laid back,quite, and such a gentleman.( Total opposite of me)Theres just one problem he going to play ball in another state next school year. SO that kind of vanishes the whole partof even trying to have a committed relationship.I dont know whether to just go with the flow til he leaves to go to another school or he just not intrested anymore. Advice Please!
By SexyLeggs
May 6, 2008 3:25 PM | Link to this
…Why…cause he can’t shake her. EXACTLY!!!!!
By AmazonRed
May 6, 2008 3:27 PM | Link to this
being a beyotch will get you a man that you can control…..i dont advise that beyouth role for women..that is a sucker moves and screams that you have low self esteem…
Rell - That’s not what the book is about. It’s about making sure you read situations correctly and respond to them rationally instead of emotionally. It’s about gaining respect because you’re not some fly off the handle, emotional wreck of a woman.
By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON
May 6, 2008 3:28 PM | Link to this
Pianist It’s sounds like the kid is setting up his life. I can’t really be mad because he has ambition. It seems as if right now you are not the most important thing right now…Which is a good thing, But bad for you. If all else fails…Remain friends and hope maybe one day this will turn around in your favor. But his life is moving and going places..I can’t help but to take my hat off to the young guy.
By ATL Pianist
May 6, 2008 3:29 PM | Link to this
Hi Everyone I am rather new to this I have a problem with this guy I am seeing. I have been talking to this guy for almost a year and a half. When we first started talking he went to a school three hours from me and we spoke on the maybe every two three months, which was fine. Then he transfered to another school that’s a whole lot closer give or take thirty mins. I didn’t really care for him then but as we dated more I became more intrested. Just startung this year I have rarely seen him due to him having two jobs and school. Communication is not that great.I may see him once a month because I am out of town alot due to modeling and school. It just seems as though every time I want to go out he brings up the excuse about funds. I somewhat think it is a cop out, but then again I dont He’s not the typical guy he is so laid back,quite, and such a gentleman.( Total opposite of me)Theres just one problem he going to play ball in another state next school year. SO that kind of vanishes the whole partof even trying to have a committed relationship.I dont know whether to just go with the flow til he leaves to go to another school or he just not intrested anymore. Advice Please!
By ATL Pianist
May 6, 2008 3:29 PM | Link to this
Hi Everyone I am rather new to this I have a problem with this guy I am seeing. I have been talking to this guy for almost a year and a half. When we first started talking he went to a school three hours from me and we spoke on the maybe every two three months, which was fine. Then he transfered to another school that’s a whole lot closer give or take thirty mins. I didn’t really care for him then but as we dated more I became more intrested. Just startung this year I have rarely seen him due to him having two jobs and school. Communication is not that great.I may see him once a month because I am out of town alot due to modeling and school. It just seems as though every time I want to go out he brings up the excuse about funds. I somewhat think it is a cop out, but then again I dont He’s not the typical guy he is so laid back,quite, and such a gentleman.( Total opposite of me)Theres just one problem he going to play ball in another state next school year. SO that kind of vanishes the whole partof even trying to have a committed relationship.I dont know whether to just go with the flow til he leaves to go to another school or he just not intrested anymore. Advice Please!
By ATL Pianist
May 6, 2008 3:29 PM | Link to this
Hi Everyone I am rather new to this I have a problem with this guy I am seeing. I have been talking to this guy for almost a year and a half. When we first started talking he went to a school three hours from me and we spoke on the maybe every two three months, which was fine. Then he transfered to another school that’s a whole lot closer give or take thirty mins. I didn’t really care for him then but as we dated more I became more intrested. Just startung this year I have rarely seen him due to him having two jobs and school. Communication is not that great.I may see him once a month because I am out of town alot due to modeling and school. It just seems as though every time I want to go out he brings up the excuse about funds. I somewhat think it is a cop out, but then again I dont He’s not the typical guy he is so laid back,quite, and such a gentleman.( Total opposite of me)Theres just one problem he going to play ball in another state next school year. SO that kind of vanishes the whole partof even trying to have a committed relationship.I dont know whether to just go with the flow til he leaves to go to another school or he just not intrested anymore. Advice Please!
By The Truth
May 6, 2008 3:30 PM | Link to this
SJ everyone should tote a weapon. The crooks have them. My boy took his girl to the range yesterday to teach her to shoot. Personally I carry a 45 with a spare clip. Make sure the cat doesn’t get up. Btw, before this is over the laws will allow everyone to carry concealed weapons. I like that bill.
Staceye where are you? I need you to move in with me. I know your a clean freak and I need you. I’m pretty clean but this dusting stuff is continous. Dayuum. My house is to large for 1 guy that doesn’t want to dust. Let me know your terms and I’ll send over a moving truck and a copy of the house rules.
Blow do you know you use the word Truth in every post you make? Go back and reread your posts. You got a love jones for the Truth or what? Btw, call me when you get the cable thing worked out and some food in the frig.
Pianist you’re on standby.
By Angie
May 6, 2008 3:31 PM | Link to this
Pianist it’s not gonna happen. sorry girlie.
By SlimOne
May 6, 2008 3:32 PM | Link to this
Angie well, you said a keyword…”thought”. Lot’s of times, it’s a matter of NOT thinking but merely impulsively acting…to be left to think too little too late. Sometimes folks just snap. Folks like seriel killers thought, get a thrill out of killing because of the rush & empowering feeling of taking another person’s life. That’s a major part of it…sickening i know but that’s the world we live in. Who’s to say i won’t snap on some theiving minor ciphering gas out of my gas tank one morning? lol This is where that saying SHYT HAPPENS gets applied. LMAO but no really.
By Raqi
May 6, 2008 3:32 PM | Link to this
Pianist it doesn’t sound like you are that interested. You had nothing nice to say about the man up until you said he is a gentleman. I think you need to first figure out where you stand in this matter. Then you can address the issue that you have with whether or not he is interested.
Give the man something to work with before calling foul on his play.
By IslandGirl
May 6, 2008 3:32 PM | Link to this
Truth Can I stop by? Sounds like we can make some daiquiris. By the way, if invited I’ll be there by 7:00pm…don’t want you to think this is a booty call. lol
KP do what you do. I’ve enjoyed reading your posts today. You are officially hazed. At some point or the other you take on the role of antagonist based on your opinions on this blog.
A lot of folks are knocking religion, which I guess I understand. The various denominations have been blamed as the cause of division in church and homes. I think spirituality (which is closely tied to one’s religious belief) allows people to embrace the differences we see in each other. As human beings we naturally want to believe in something, even Atheists. I know some folks that refuse to step foot in a church, but will pray every day.
In regards to fellowship, I truly believe there are great things that occur in fellowship especially a fellowship of like-minded people. The interesting thing about fellowship you have to be weary of is the type of people you are surrounding yourself with.
I personally enjoy church fellowship because I know the only person I am accountable to is God not another man on this earth.
For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there I am in the midst of them
By Staceye AKA Black Mamba
May 6, 2008 3:34 PM | Link to this
Sexyleggs so my b*tchiness is my blanket? LOL
By Page1908
May 6, 2008 3:36 PM | Link to this
Hey Blow aren’t you in California now? I’m trying to figure out how you are usually one of the first ones on the blog when you are 3 hours behind us here in Atlanta and how you can keep up with the blog all day? LOL…just 6 months ago when I lived in Phoenix, I would blog periodically but because of the time difference, I was always late and confused…lol. You go girl, you do some serious blogging no matter what time zone you are in lol.
LOL @ SexyLegg’s thought of the day. I like what Julie said. I think GA Man has a book with a similar title.
By SexyLeggs
May 6, 2008 3:36 PM | Link to this
**…and such a gentleman.( Total opposite of me). Ok, so you’re a dude? It doesn’t sound like you have a relationship with him at all.
By me
May 6, 2008 3:37 PM | Link to this
Truthfully, coming across an uninterested guy has only happened to me once and it was quite recent. The signs were there that he wasn’t interested but I was too arrogant to really acknowledge them. I handled this situation horribly because I kept believing “how could he not be interested in me” instead of just walking away, I completely became a “crazy chick!” I was totally ashamed and I can only admit it now because this is a blog. He was brutally honest in that he told me I wasn’t in his path for some sort of divine destiny… but when we were together it was magnetic—so I got the signals mixed up. I felt all sort of irrational feelings from hurt to just flat out embarrassment; I guess that’s what I get for always thinking I was just so “beautiful?!”
By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON
May 6, 2008 3:38 PM | Link to this
Truth I love you too..I see you like reading me. Like I told SJ3000 I might let you lick the cupcake wrapper…. You so sweet make me want to lick the wrapper…So I let Truth lick the wrapper!!
Negative….I don’t allow vicious dogs in my place. lol!! You run the risk of gettin Rabies!!
By me
May 6, 2008 3:39 PM | Link to this
Truthfully, coming across an uninterested guy has only happened to me once and it was quite recent. The signs were there that he wasn’t interested but I was too arrogant to really acknowledge them. I handled this situation horribly because I kept believing “how could he not be interested in me” instead of just walking away, I completely became a “crazy chick!” I was totally ashamed and I can only admit it now because this is a blog. He was brutally honest in that he told me I wasn’t in his path for some sort of divine destiny… but when we were together it was magnetic—so I got the signals mixed up. I felt all sort of irrational feelings from hurt to just flat out embarrassment; I guess that’s what I get for always thinking I was just so “superific!”
By me
May 6, 2008 3:39 PM | Link to this
Truthfully, coming across an uninterested guy has only happened to me once and it was quite recent. The signs were there that he wasn’t interested but I was too arrogant to really acknowledge them. I handled this situation horribly because I kept believing “how could he not be interested in me” instead of just walking away, I completely became a “crazy chick!” I was totally ashamed and I can only admit it now because this is a blog. He was brutally honest in that he told me I wasn’t in his path for some sort of divine destiny… but when we were together it was magnetic—so I got the signals mixed up. I felt all sort of irrational feelings from hurt to just flat out embarrassment; I guess that’s what I get for always thinking I was just so “superific!”
By Cemeeli
May 6, 2008 3:40 PM | Link to this
DSW @ Cumberland Mall is now open, wth? i’m slacking
By Kym
May 6, 2008 3:42 PM | Link to this
Sidelines LOL..I told ya..I have the pens and highlighters going. If you ever have the time you can check out the Oprah Messages boards people from all over the world are posting their comments and experiences about the book there. Last night Oprah showed us her book she it is all banged up and flagged up. She said Eckhart gave her a leather bound one. But she is holding on to that paperback one. Okay let me stop before For Real gives me a Eckhart Tolle ticket.
By Angie
May 6, 2008 3:42 PM | Link to this
truth you noticed that too! i also noticed that some ppl on here don’t respond to my post anymore. did i touch a nerve? it’s all love i know.
By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON
May 6, 2008 3:43 PM | Link to this
Page No I am in Atlanta…Today is a slow day here at work. Plus I have given you guys a break of me. But you’re gettin me confused with Ared She is the rolling stone…She is in Cali. I wish I could travel more often with my job.
By me
May 6, 2008 3:43 PM | Link to this
Truthfully, coming across an uninterested guy has only happened to me once and it was quite recent. The signs were there that he wasn’t interested but I was too arrogant to really acknowledge them. I handled this situation horribly because I kept believing “how could he not be interested in me” instead of just walking away, I completely became a “crazy chick!” I was totally ashamed and I can only admit it now because this is a blog. He was brutally honest in that he told me I wasn’t in his path for some sort of divine destiny… but when we were together it was magnetic—so I got the signals mixed up. I felt all sort of irrational feelings from hurt to just flat out embarrassment; I guess that’s what I get for always thinking I was just so “perfect?!”
By SeanJohnson3000
May 6, 2008 3:43 PM | Link to this
@ Truth….ur right..everyone needs a gun…you just never know when you will need it…and everyone needs home protection…wont catch me slipping…but i am debating whether i should get a permit to conceal it or wear it on my hip…leaning towards concealing it…being a big black ninja is intimidating enough..lol
By AmazonRed
May 6, 2008 3:48 PM | Link to this
Pianist and other blog ladies who asked for advice today. You are clearly “options” in the lives of the men you are dealing with. Realize this and respond accordingly! Do you really need the blog to verify this for you?
By abc
May 6, 2008 3:52 PM | Link to this
1 out of 20 in public have an IQ of 55, 15 points below the threshold of mild retardation, and you think everyone should be able to carry concealed weapons? What are you drinking, smoking, thinking? That’s crazy. A dumb as hayell armed public is not an improvement.
By The Truth
May 6, 2008 3:55 PM | Link to this
Me thanks for admitting that. I think alot more women experience that but don’t want to admit it. Here’s a rose for your confession.
IG you always have an open invitation.
Blow I bet you’d like me to lick that wrapper. I’m not bringing my dogs. I’m coming to get away from them.
By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON
May 6, 2008 3:58 PM | Link to this
SJ3000 Big black ninja you say?? wow.. okay. I hear that…mmm.
Ared Now, now Ared let’s be nice. (LOOK at me…snicker snicker)Some things are not obvious to everyone. Some things need to be thoroughly explain….lol. YOu know damn well they take what we say and our advice to heart. You of all ppl should know this. lol.
Truth You are funny! Make sure he doesn’t get up! lol. So when can you take me to the shooting range…Let’s hit wolf creek..I’ll be on my old stomping grounds today. Butner Rd 7 pm. Let’s make you the shooting target!!
Don’t you live off of Campbellton Rd..thats you with the mangy flock of dogs always beggin for change? I should have known!!
By For Real
May 6, 2008 3:59 PM | Link to this
I AIN’T NEVER SEEN A BULLET STOP ANOTHER BULLET!!!! BESIDES, GUNS WILL ONLY PUMP UP THE PUNKAZZ DUDES CHEST!! NOW, WE WILL HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT EVERY CHICK THAT GETS HER HEART BROKEN AND LOOKING TO BLAME SOMEONE ELSE!!
By Page1908
May 6, 2008 3:59 PM | Link to this
LOL Blow! Oh lawd….ok, now I’m confused lol
By Raqi
May 6, 2008 4:00 PM | Link to this
But abc which has the most bearing the frequency of a scorned act or the intensity of it?
On an average about 3 women are killed every day at the hands of a husband or boyfriend and 1 out of that three is a crime of passion.
Yeah maybe 50 cars get scratched. 100 windshields broken. 12 relationships ruined. But how does that compare to having your life taken?
By Hotlanta
May 6, 2008 4:00 PM | Link to this
Excuse me KP. We must alllow ourselves multiple options. It that one option that we put so much into that has us all screwed up. How many times do we hear, I gave him all of my time, I did this, I did that and they still leave. Honey you gotta know when to hold them and know when to fold them. I don’t care how many churches you go to or how many Bibles you read, there is nothing that gurantees that our mates/partners will not leave us. You can use the word covenent/annointing all day that doesn’t mean we will never part. I don’t know why folks, epecially some women think if he just marry me we will never part. Like I had to check this girl one time who was acting as if her husband will not marry noone else. I said honey he can’t get another mother but he can always get another wife. I have a saying men leaves but God doesn’t. I never put God into a man just because he spoke to me. That is where we make our mistakes.
By Hotlanta
May 6, 2008 4:00 PM | Link to this
Excuse me KP. We must alllow ourselves multiple options. It that one option that we put so much into that has us all screwed up. How many times do we hear, I gave him all of my time, I did this, I did that and they still leave. Honey you gotta know when to hold them and know when to fold them. I don’t care how many churches you go to or how many Bibles you read, there is nothing that gurantees that our mates/partners will not leave us. You can use the word covenent/annointing all day that doesn’t mean we will never part. I don’t know why folks, epecially some women think if he just marry me we will never part. Like I had to check this girl one time who was acting as if her husband will not marry noone else. I said honey he can’t get another mother but he can always get another wife. I have a saying men leaves but God doesn’t. I never put God into a man just because he spoke to me. That is where we make our mistakes.
By For Real
May 6, 2008 4:01 PM | Link to this
Mild Retardation That just sounds funny to me.
I think I am going to buy tee-shirt for Slim. Who else wants one?
By Raqi
May 6, 2008 4:05 PM | Link to this
abc what’s even more important is folks are so edgy these days. The road rage I see nearly every day coming to work. Just imagine what now results in having the bird flipped at you could get a bullet put in your head. I am with you on this one.
By Lurker
May 6, 2008 4:06 PM | Link to this
I actually think the ladies did confess, maybe not in the form in which “me” did but none the less. We meet, greet, look, hope….realize after some time, ain’t happening and keep it moving. During the meet, greet look and hope stages is when the obvious happens, not that interested. Just because you didn’t hang on forever and become irrational does not mean you did feel and see the signs of rejection. Scroll back up, quite a few women fessed up that at some point they/we may have be delusional.
By Lurker
May 6, 2008 4:06 PM | Link to this
I actually think the ladies did confess, maybe not in the form in which “me” did but none the less. We meet, greet, look, hope….realize after some time, ain’t happening and keep it moving. During the meet, greet look and hope stages is when the obvious happens, not that interested. Just because you didn’t hang on forever and become irrational does not mean you didn’t feel and see the signs of rejection. Scroll back up, quite a few women fessed up that at some point they/we may have be delusional.
By I am Legend
May 6, 2008 4:08 PM | Link to this
FOR EVERYBODY!!!
http://www.ebookee.com/Psycho-Cybernetics-UNABRIDGED-AUDIO-BOOK_56909.html
By SexyLeggs
May 6, 2008 4:10 PM | Link to this
Guess I’m the only one who thought Pianist was a guy.
Me don’t kick yourself too much. It’s all a part of life. What you did is now your sounding board for what not to do next time. You just learned the importance of “listening AND hearing.”
By The Truth
May 6, 2008 4:12 PM | Link to this
SJ get a permit. The first thing their gonna ask you is if its registered. If not it goes downhill from there. Also, outsmarting those crime scene crews isn’t easy. They have it down to an art. They’ll be at your house waiting for you. I’m registered.
Angie dont take it personally. At some folks they phase out everyone. Just keep posting. LMAO
ABC you have me rolling over here with your statistics. Thats some funny shyt.
For those that would like to see me training my dogs here’s a clip from this weekend. A fellow club member was holding my dog while I was being jumped down the field.
BTw, that my guy Tysun. 135 lb presa canario.
http://www.youtube.com/v/iq6TZffedlk&hl=en
By abc
May 6, 2008 4:13 PM | Link to this
Raqi, women not exclusive in being fatal victims. The stories get plenty of publicity. I’ve been warned before to look over my shoulder for an ex with a gun. It happens.
Upon breakups, chicks act out and think it’s okay to do so, by and large. Men resolve not to give a woman additional opportunity to do harm. What’s so difficult to accept about that? Chicks have blogged about it here before, seeming proud of the things they had done. Carrie Underwood had a top 10 song on the radio about it, nominated for Song of the Year at the Grammies, only to lose out to Amy Winehouse. Tried to send her to rehab, but she said no, no, no. Is that a commentary on contemporary womanhood, or what?
Just kiddin ‘bout that last line.
By AmazonRed
May 6, 2008 4:14 PM | Link to this
I’m trying to play catch up but am only up to the noontime posts.
KP - I just want to say thank you for your insightful posts. It’s so refereshing to see a man who is into “purposeful dating” and strengthening the black family unit. I will definitely check out your blog, which is the first cuz I don’t click other folks links on here. LOL
abc - Good posts today as well.
Tazzee - Good to read you my fellow b!tch sister. LOL
By Staceye AKA Black Mamba
May 6, 2008 4:17 PM | Link to this
Pianist I think you should cut it off now as far as the romantic end of it. Why set yourself up for heartbreak if you alreday know the outcome is you to splitting anyway due to school/work? It sounds like he is about his business which is great. You should be about yours..but do not end the friendship. Paths have a strange way of crossing later in life.
Truth we’d kill esach other. It would be like War of the Roses in that place! LOL
By SeanJohnson3000
May 6, 2008 4:19 PM | Link to this
@ For Real…i feel you bruh…that mentality from the movie “Juice” is real…but its like the late 80’s early 90’s again…but of crazy fools out here..with the economy phcked…voilent crimes will only get worse…plus its only a matter of time before the government try to take the right to bear arms back…they have strip the people for damn evr othr liberty..
Any one see the news clip where folks can listen in on your phne convos and even read your text messages?…these smart phones are bugs….if average joe can buy the softwhere…that means the beast has been doing it and will continue doing it..
By Angie
May 6, 2008 4:19 PM | Link to this
truth im not, just being a smart azz. good nite folks!
By Sidelines...
May 6, 2008 4:20 PM | Link to this
Kym…Will do for sure!
abc, I totally agree…I thought it was crazy to hear that they were passing the law in the first place to allow guns on Marta….
Ok, pic this…gas prices soar to $4 bucks (by the end of the week, if not already), so we’re forced to ride Marta now; but remember there are lunatics running around with weapons that ride Marta as well…(cause we all know how easy it is to get your hands on one…I’m referring to the illegal ones) decide they want to bust a cap in somebody’s arsh just because they thought you were looking at them too long and start shooting, WHAT????
Yet, they have a problem passing a law to buy alcohol on Sunday’s simply because we live in the so called Bible belt where there’s a party going on every night of the week???? But, dayum if you can’t go out to a restaurant and have a drink…on Sunday! Oh, but wait…rent a limosine and you’ll be fine.
INCREDIBLE….
By QC
May 6, 2008 4:22 PM | Link to this
Demi, if you’re lurking check your email i sent you something i’m sure you would like
By AmazonRed
May 6, 2008 4:22 PM | Link to this
For those of you getting caught up in the “be a b!tch” advice, please keep it in context. I SAID READ THE BOOK. There is a difference in being a female dog as you know it and what is discussed in the book.
In the book it stands for Babe In Total Control of Herself. Which is what more women need to strive for instead of reading situations in dating WRONG and then making bad decisions because of hurt feelings and emotions. You don’t gain respect that way. If you were at work and cried everyone wronged you, or cut folks out of your life, or withheld “work”, you wouldn’t have the respect of ANYONE in your office.
Samething applies in your personal life. Stay in control. Men will push you to see how far they can go and how YOU will react. Don’t play into that stuff.
By SlimOne
May 6, 2008 4:27 PM | Link to this
For Real Um..honey…you didn’t see the fine print on that bottom of that t-shirt….Reads: Yo mama!
By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON
May 6, 2008 4:28 PM | Link to this
Staceye Funny we said the same thing. lol
Truth What kind of huge dog is that. I am scared of vicious dogs! And what were you training him for? To attack?
By QC
May 6, 2008 4:28 PM | Link to this
Have a safe evening bloggers, lurkers, erry’body…HOLLA
By Joker
May 6, 2008 4:33 PM | Link to this
Joke
Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men….that night all three will wear a leather bodice S&M style, stilettos and mask over their eyes.
After a few days they meet again…..
The engaged girlfriend said: ‘The other night, when my boyfriend came back home, he found me in the leather bodice, 4’ stilettos and mask. He said, ‘You are the woman of my life, I love you…then we made love all night long.’
The mistress stated: ‘Oh Yes! The other night we met in his office. I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat, he didn’t say a word. We just had wild sex all night.’
The married one then said: ‘The other night I sent the kids to stay at My mother’s for the night, I got myself ready, leather bodice, super
stilettos and mask over my eyes.
My husband came in from work, grabbed the remote and a beer, and said, ‘Hey Batman, what’s for dinner?’
By Tazzee
May 6, 2008 4:36 PM | Link to this
ARed - thanks for giving more info on the book. And it’s totally in line with what some of the dudes on here proclaim - that a dude will only do what we allow them to do. I read that book a few years ago and have to refer to it sometimes when I get a little too ‘caught up’ in the emotions of a relationship.
By Staceye AKA Black Mamba
May 6, 2008 4:38 PM | Link to this
*abcI love that Carrie Underwood song, Before He Cheats. The guy got what he deserved. You cheat..you deserve whatever happens to you. Just end it for God’s sake. Cheating is so pointless! No sympathy for cheaters and home wreckers!
Sidelines I co-sign you girl. That liqour law is dumbest thing I ever heard!I can;t buy liquor on Sunday due to Christian law…however, prayer is not in schools and they remove God from everything else….but alcohol on a Sunday….that’s a sin! LOL
ARED Babe In Total Control of Herself that is me.
By Alvin
May 6, 2008 4:44 PM | Link to this
Truth nah…That God most americans serve isn’t white…Whatever this being is…I do believe God does exist.
There is no way I coulda shoulda lasted this long.
I think Bishes are some of the best women to date time to time…I don’t feel bad about treating them like shyt.
Alvin is now praying for a Bish or two
By AmazonRed
May 6, 2008 4:46 PM | Link to this
Tazzee and Staceye - Glad you understood. Folks see the word “b!tch” and lose all common sense. LOL
By For Real
May 6, 2008 4:48 PM | Link to this
Raqi Have you ever watched Snapped? I think you will change your mind about women killing men. But here is the crazy thing, a woman can kill a man and get away with it.
By SexyLeggs
May 6, 2008 4:49 PM | Link to this
Hotlanta, just read your 4:00 post and I totally concur.
By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON
May 6, 2008 4:50 PM | Link to this
Good Night all!! Have a wonderful safe evening….See you beautiful, successful, crazy ppl tomorrow. Who’s bringin breakfast?
By KP
May 6, 2008 4:52 PM | Link to this
Hey ya’ll…I thought my work was done for the day, but I received a text message that For Real had attacked my earlier post.
For Real, thanks for the elaborate explanation on why you perceive my theory as incorrect. However, you made some incorrect assumptions in drawing your conclusion. Character IS NOT embedded in the physical, emotional and spiritual components of relationships. Character is the core of our existence in relationships. Our impulse reactions to our emotions, feelings and desires are what get us into trouble (one night stands, baby mamas, STDs, etc.). Look at it like a computer. The computer operates off of a CPU (central processing unit) which serves as the core of how the computer operates. We add a keyboard, mouse, disk drives which help us use the computer. Our character is the human CPU that should be used to feed information to our behaviors. Unfortunately, our society is allowing our behaviors/feelings (mouse (emotions), keyboard (physical touch), and disk drives (feelings)) to dictate how we act. My only point is to not get caught-up on the external components that help us feel good, but focus on the character (CPU) that makes a person who he/she truly is.
I know some of my perspectives may seem radical, but I’m trying to help change a mindset that keeps us in an endless loop of heartache, disappointment and failed relationships.
You want Bible…I can give you Bible. You want personal testimony…I can give you that too. I haven’t always been a minister and used to run in the streets with the best of them. I simply strive to protect the hearts of women and encourage men to make responsible decisions. God Bless!
By Wise Diva
May 6, 2008 4:53 PM | Link to this
Big thanks to Mr. Fly Guy for today’s post!
Thanks to everyone who weighed in, and we hope to see all the newbies return!
Have a wonderful evening everyone!
Diva out
By For Real
May 6, 2008 4:57 PM | Link to this
Babe In Total Control of Herself
Now that is funny as hellz!!!! And yall buy that kind of stuff???? WOW!!!
Truth That’s a big azz dog! I hope you can claim it on your taxes.
Kym I was about the slap the ish out of you if you had mentioned that book dude again.
Slim I’m sorry, here take this two piece fish dinner with a slice of white bread and a grape soda.
By KP
May 6, 2008 4:57 PM | Link to this
Hotlanta, thanks for your 4:00pm post. I will reflect on what you have written. I just have a question for you. How will you ever attain relational happiness if you don’t believe in taking a monogomous risk?
By Staceye AKA Black Mamba
May 6, 2008 4:58 PM | Link to this
See ya Blow Me
ARED I understand fully what it menas.
I’m out you guys!
By Raqi
May 6, 2008 4:59 PM | Link to this
Yes ForReal I have.
Yall be good.
By Raqi
May 6, 2008 4:59 PM | Link to this
Yes ForReal I have.
Yall be good.
By SexyLeggs
May 6, 2008 5:06 PM | Link to this
Good night everyone!
Love doesn’t make the world go ‘round; Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
Stay safe!
By For Real
May 6, 2008 5:09 PM | Link to this
KP “Character IS NOT embedded in the physical, emotional and spiritual”
Think about and come tomorrow to discuss.
Physical: Dirty clothes, doesn’t take baths, doesn’t cut hair, doesn’t shave……. You say this says nothing about a persons’ character?
Emotional: Violent, aggressive, possessive, controlling….. You say this says nothing about a persons’ character?
Spiritual: Do not believe in anything, has no moral compass… You say this says nothing about a persons’ character?
Oh and you are not officially hazed until a skit is written about you or your blog name is changed or or you have had the ish slapped out of you for medicinal purposes or until you have had your post picked apart by a mildly retarded person.
By ma378zda
May 9, 2008 4:51 AM | Link to this
c56t