By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 9, 2008 8:15 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All

Breakfast: Smoothies and Protein shakes…..and sausage n biscuits for all

Hi If you can get %80 of what you need that is good enough. I am fully aware that I will not get %100. I am not a %100 so I can’t ask for it. Also I will be back to comment later.

By Lady J

May 9, 2008 8:22 AM | Link to this

Thanks Diva!!!! My 2nd yr as a rocking mama!!!! I am excited!!! Happy Friday all!!!

By 6'1 & Luvin it (Dayuumit Man)

May 9, 2008 8:23 AM | Link to this

Blow Appreciate cha with the light breakfast this morning chica! After all that I served on yesterday this will be just fine although I will like to add fresh fruit & pepsi’s for all.

By Lady J

May 9, 2008 8:31 AM | Link to this

It is all about give and take and RESPECT!!! J will not be used or taken for boo boo the fool!!! I am not perfect and I am not looking for Mr. Perfect just a MAN I am compaitible with!!! I have also figured out I love to hard and not that I am becoming bitter but I am gaurding my heart!

By Bit-O-Honey

May 9, 2008 8:33 AM | Link to this

Morning, Happy Friday this is a great topic WD. I will have a smoothie and turkey sausage Blow, preciate cha girlie!

On topic: I have left a great man for the 20% he didn’t seem to offer. At the time the 20% he didn’t give was more important than the 80% that he did. My priorities were very different then. sighHe’s going to make some lucky woman a wonderful husband and father.

Mom’s on her way to Atlanta, can’t wait til she gets here! I’m so excitable!!

By Satoria Lynn

May 9, 2008 8:35 AM | Link to this

Happy Mother’s Day!

How is everyone? I believe I play by the rules. I can remember when I didn’t, but that was my lost and no regrets here! You have to know what you are looking for. If you really want me to be real, every person should have a list. When checking that list off, see if the end results shows lower than 80%. If lower than 80%, you have a decision to make. A person should not settle for less. Don’t wind up being lonely and depressed with this person 2 years down the line. What a waste of time for you and him. One thing you should pass on, no chemistry. JMO. You can’t really build this. My friend did prove me wrong years ago though. Good for her!

By SlimOne

May 9, 2008 8:39 AM | Link to this

If anyone expects to get 100% or even 99.99999% of what they want in another person, they need to slip on this nice little straight jacket, take a tray of meds, and have rubberbands tightly wrapped around your ipples until your circulation is cut off. Btw, top of the morning to all yall. lol

By QC

May 9, 2008 8:41 AM | Link to this

Morning - Happy Mom’s Day Rules are made to be broken..and i don’t like them. I hope you all have a blessed day/weekend. All the Men in my Department are treating all the Ladies to brunch today out on the patio…ahhh, ain’t that sweet I’ll chime in later, gotta do a little work ;)

By GaMan

May 9, 2008 8:42 AM | Link to this

Happy Mothers Day to all the Mothers

By kinderbabe

May 9, 2008 8:46 AM | Link to this

good morning all! great topic. it reminds me of “why did i get married?” i just love that movie.:)

i think sometimes it’s easy for men and women to get caught up in the grass is greener syndrome. having player type girlfriends and guyfriends makes it even worse. it reinforces the idea that there’s something “better” out there waiting. some have to learn the hard way that the something “better” was who they had all along…lol. not making a comparison and focusing on your 80% rule is what’s important. that type of criteria will vary b/c our needs are different.

By Ava

May 9, 2008 8:48 AM | Link to this

It all depends on what compiles that 20%. And to remember that the 20% varies from person to person. So what’s great in one guy might drive you bat$h1t in another.

The real issue is if you think you’re settling - that thought will eat at you until both are completely miserable. If he’s right for you and you’re right for him, you’ll work through anything.

By lovelyliz

May 9, 2008 8:52 AM | Link to this

As long as he doesn’t break one of the deal breaking rules give him a shot.

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 8:53 AM | Link to this

Happy Friday everyone. Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers. It’s good to be home!

That 80-20 rule also appeared in the movie “Why Did I Get Married” though it was directed at the men. Supposedly, that’s what leads them to cheat, chasing after that 20%

As for if a guy is not 100% of what you want, but has 80% of what’s most important, you don’t toss him out all willy nilly over the 20%!

I agree. However, we all say we’d go for 80% but lets be honest ladies, we’d toss him if he was a great guy with 80% or more but he was bad in bed or there was a lack of chemistry. Sometimes his few faults bear more weight than his attributes. I can admit that and I’m also okay with that!!!

By Raqi

May 9, 2008 8:55 AM | Link to this

I know I have said it a least 10-15 times on this very site, 7 out 10 is a keeper. If you take your 10 absolute must-haves and can effortlessly get a solid 7 there are good possibilities.

However, the three that I was willing to compromise on (IMO) was something that does not affect our livelihood or my sanity.

And yes we women always see where we can fix the other 20% given ample amount of time and material.

By Satoria Lynn

May 9, 2008 8:56 AM | Link to this

Thought this might help you:

The List

Responsible Spiritual Religious Humble Confident Flexible Fair Respectful Intelligent Intellectual Interested in Culture Good with Children Humanitarian Not Materialistic Positive Gentle Appreciative Sensitive Giving Adventurous Calm Philosophical Good Communicator Good Self-Esteem Likes to Laugh Good Tempered Charming Not Flirtatious Independent Spontaneous Sense of Humor Affectionate Able to Listen Well Likes Learning new Things Adventuresome Good Mannered Organized Thoughtful Giver Likes to do things for others Respects Me Understanding Knows how to Compromise Wants Marriage

By Raqi

May 9, 2008 8:57 AM | Link to this

Oh yeah Happy Mother’s Day.

By V

May 9, 2008 8:57 AM | Link to this

This is a very good topic thanks for discussing. Their are time when people do feel the grass is greener on the other side, until they really look at the grass.

I think the 80/20 rule is a good one. Men and women need to really take time out to figure out what they are looking for in the opposite sex.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

May 9, 2008 8:57 AM | Link to this

Morning, all.

“Mr. Mitchell…says that if a guy is not 100% of what you want, but has 80% of what’s most important, you don’t toss him out all willy nilly over the 20%!”

I concur with this in principle. However, a primary reason the 80/20 Rule isn’t applied in a more practial sense is because for too many women, that 20% is still comprised of too many “non-negotiable” expectations.

For example, a woman might indeed be willing to be flexible with regard to a particular expectation she might have for a mate (i.e. a man’s height), but if the result is that she simply replaces that expectation with another one, she’s defeating the whole purpose of the 80/20 rule to begin with and the “willy-nilly” cycle continues, because now there’s a new standard that the guy has to meet. Same percentage, different expectation.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

By Lady J

May 9, 2008 9:04 AM | Link to this

Raqi for real why do we or me truly feel we can fix another person or deal with bs for sake of??? That is the other process I am letting go…Peolpe are who they are their own character! God gives us wisdom and common sense to filter out nonsense in any area of our life for real!

By I am Legend

May 9, 2008 9:04 AM | Link to this

Panama muses: “It’s like a man is every woman’s potential playdough. Add just the right amount of TLC, throw in a little common sense, help him mature and then wham.. he could go from Morris Chestnut in Boyz In The Hood to Morris Chestnut in The Best Man”

^^this line of thinking get women in trouble everytime…..you cannot change anyone!!!!

that 20 percent is sometimes better than the 80…and hell the grass is green on the other side just like it is green on my side.

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

May 9, 2008 9:05 AM | Link to this

Hey Everybody!! TGIF! I hope everyone has a great weekend! Happy Mother’s Day to all the mommies in Blogsville! I am excited about this holiday myself.

BRB on topic, thanks for the smoothie 6’1

Hey Lady J and Kinderbabe

By Lola

May 9, 2008 9:08 AM | Link to this

Men say they love independence in a woman, but they don’t waste a second demolishing it brick by brick.” — Candice Bergen

By Bit-O-Honey

May 9, 2008 9:10 AM | Link to this

Satoria Lynn where did this list come from?

To all who say they haven’t/wouldn’t toss for the 20% I think it all depends on what the 20% is comprised of like Ava said. If we’re honest, we’ve probably all dropped the 80% for the 20% at some stage of our dating lives. It’s so much easier said than done. Not to beat this adage to death but the grass looks greener on the other side until you get over there and figure out it spray painted green….ugh!

By Lady J

May 9, 2008 9:10 AM | Link to this

Hey Mo Happy Mother’s Day you ROCKING MAMA YOU!!!

By SlimOne

May 9, 2008 9:15 AM | Link to this

Sometimes all you want is that 20%…some dudes have .0003% and them some have a big juicy 35%. Muah ha ha ha

By Raqi

May 9, 2008 9:15 AM | Link to this

Darrell IMO when focusing on being in a meaningful relationship I wouldn’t include things such as height preferences into the mix. A relationship should be based on the more vital elements such as livelihood, family, companionship, sociability, shared interest and yes sexual compatibility.

By Blue_Kolla

May 9, 2008 9:16 AM | Link to this

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to all of the moms.

80/20 in marriage is one thing, but you need to be 85/15 - 90/10 if we’re just kicking it.

Dem C’s ;)

By The Flying Mud Turtle

May 9, 2008 9:16 AM | Link to this

Sorry to intrude in the ladies room, but the curosity got the better of me. All I can say is this: I dated tons of American women before I had the fortune to visit overseas. There I met wonderful women and was fortunate that one accepted my offer to marry. Two kids later we’re still going strong. Friends ask me “why didn’t you marry a woman from this country?” All I can say is that once you’ve driven a BMW you never want to deal with a pinto again. Not to be rude, but keep being so picky. A lot of you are obsolete anyway, and the women of the world beyond these shores beckon.

By Satoria Lynn

May 9, 2008 9:17 AM | Link to this

Good morning Bit-O-Honey! It comes from an old read I have at home. I have bits and pieces of it scanned on my computer so I can get at it when I need to refresh.

By cool breeze

May 9, 2008 9:17 AM | Link to this

I think women think too damn much and it ruins alot of relationships for them. They also tend to think they can change a man (which they can’t) and even dating “potential” is really dating to try and change a man. Why date a man that you want to change? Then he won’t be himself anymore but your creation and like dr. frankenstein some women in trying to change a man suceed in creating monsters. Just think of the phrase “I love you” this to me means when you say it that you are saying you love the person for who they are. The good,bad and indifferent. How they make you laugh and frustrate you. I love who you are is what you’re saying.

There are no perfect people so no good in looking for that. It’s impossible to find. I think men when we look at women look to find most of what we would want. We settle for less most times since modern women no longer for the most part are supportive of their men and cook and use having a job as an excuse to do less. Women on the other hand who routinely say “they want it all” (I’ve not heard any man ever say he wanted it all. Men just want their slice and to be left the hell alone), look for unrealistic things as perfect men who can fulfill their every physical and emotional need and whim. Also to know what they’re thinking before they think it.

I always let women be themselves because that’s who I want anyway. Just be you and do what you do naturally and I will evaluate how that fits my life and imma be me and hopefully it will work out.

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 9:19 AM | Link to this

If we’re honest, we’ve probably all dropped the 80% for the 20% at some stage of our dating lives. It’s so much easier said than done.

Honey Bit, exactly. I mean, if you’ve ever had a relationship in your adult years they’d better be of B grade (80%) or better of I’d think you’d be wasting your time! Sometimes you drop him for that 20% or maybe he drops you.

Anyone I’ve dated seriously has had 80%. We know great guys who are “just friends” who are 80%. So there is something more to this whole issue.

By THE FILTHY VILLIANOUS DK

May 9, 2008 9:20 AM | Link to this

Men date women based on their potential also.. The thing is people have to remember that everyone is an individual… They are of their own free will and free mind so they are going to do whatever it is they want to do.. You just have to get someone with whom you can accept their faults and they can accept yours. 80/20 70/30 60/40 whatever you can deal with.. .. Let me give you an example.. For years I smoked the Ganja and when my EX met me I had a drink and a blunt in hand. Fast forward we get married now all of a sudden its a problem.. Now in the back of my mind I was going to stop smoking but because she kept naggin me about it I smoked more.. Well that could be cause I was in a crazy mariage but anyway.. Now fast forward to present day and I dont smoke anymore.. I also dont drink like I used to because deep down inside we know whats right, but when someone is constantly yanking the chain we tend to break free and do whatever it is they hate..

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

May 9, 2008 9:21 AM | Link to this

Raqi “A relationship should be based on the more vital elements such as livelihood, family, companionship, sociability, shared interest and yes sexual compatibility.”

5^ and I completely agree with you. However, you and I both know that the operative word there is “should”.

Now that this topic has been raised by Wise, I wonder - in all honesty - how many women on this blog would be willing to admit that they’ve “violated” the 80/20 Rule for lesser reasons than the ones you mentioned in your comment. I’m really curious to know that and what they’ve learned as a result (if anything.)

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 9:23 AM | Link to this

LMAO at SlimOne!

By For Real

May 9, 2008 9:23 AM | Link to this

For Real now slapping the ish out of Satoria Lynn. The topic said 80%, you just described Jesus.

With that list in mine, 99% of the ladies would kick dude to the curve bc of no chemistry and he is bad in bed.

Awwwww dayummmmm here is yet another rule women will live their lives by because yall lack the ability to make good choices. If it doesn’t work then yall can blame the 80/20 rule, the 90 day no sex rule or any of the other20-30 rules yall develop to hide your poor decision making ability when it comes to men.

KP We have got to talk about your last post yesterday.

By QC

May 9, 2008 9:24 AM | Link to this

Hey BK, i been missing you Boo

Hey Darrell, have a great day!

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 9:25 AM | Link to this

Not to be rude, but keep being so picky.

Thanks Mud Turtle, will do!

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

May 9, 2008 9:25 AM | Link to this

Lady J well it aint easy bein a rockin mama but I think I manage! LOL Enjoy your day chica!!

By THE FILTHY VILLIANOUS DK

May 9, 2008 9:26 AM | Link to this

Oh and your friends ruin more relationsships that way because the 20 might not be nothing to you but let them tell it… Its the worst.. See again individual taste not the herd.. Keep ya friends out ya mix and you will have a prosperous relationship.. Shut your damn mouth.. I’m sorry but I hate that because ya’ll assume that your girls automatically have your best interest at heart..

By Satoria Lynn

May 9, 2008 9:28 AM | Link to this

Hi The Flying Mud Turtle! It’s not being picky, it’s picking who fits in our life. Why end up divorced three years later? Trust me we will by marrying the guy we have anything in common with. Let’s use some common sense, shall we. When you bought your car, did you buy the first one you saw? Well, did you?!?

By Willie Dynamite

May 9, 2008 9:28 AM | Link to this

Morning All,

First things First,I’d like to send a heartfelt Happy Mothers Day to all the blog Mothers That is truly to hardest and most important job you’ll ever have. It is also without a doubt the most rewarding.

On Topic- 80/20 huh. Let me say it like this and I’m sure most would disagree. Some men will keep the 80% and then go out and borrow the 20% elsewhere. Some women will just throw out the 80% in search of the other 20%. Women (Some) have an innate ability to convince themselves that they are settling if a Man doesn’t have ALL the things that they have decided are must haves. In my experiences most women have this until they get a lil older and wiser and really figure out what makes them happy.

By Lady J

May 9, 2008 9:30 AM | Link to this

Now Mo who said it was easy I just ebrace the journey and let it ride and do what it do!!! It just made a wonderful woman out of me!!! You do the same girlfriend!! Chk ur email in a few…

By The Truth

May 9, 2008 9:31 AM | Link to this

Happy Mothers Day to all the blog moms.

Even 80-20 is to strict. Find the few things that are very important to you and be happy. Alot of time we look for things in others we don’t possess ourselves. Some weak azz person wants a strong person or attractive person or driven person. If you possessed it yourself you wouldn’t need it from someone else.

Satoria that list is a crock. Anyone who uses it is a fool. If you dropped a guy because he didn’t possess one or 2 of those traits you’d be a fool and banished to singledom for life. Wait a minute…

We are so incredibly fugged up when we’ll let someone else type out a list of things we think should be important. SMDH

MO, Sexy, Lady, Raqi, 6’1 and eating it, Similac, IG, Jamo, and all the other moms are to report to Chateau Elan for a day of pampering followed by shopping at Phipps ($10,000 limit), all expenses paid. Gifts provided and funded by For Real.

Roses for all the single ladies keeping those eggs warm for a good swimmer.

By Bit-O-Honey

May 9, 2008 9:34 AM | Link to this

Darrell I can admit leaving the 80 for the 20, when the 20 was totally physical. Yeah, I did. The 80 relationship was good but he wasn’t meeting my physical needs entirely. The 20 was what I needed and so it seemed more important and carried more weight at the time.

Realize, this relationship stuff is a weighted scale and it changes. Subconsciously we all know the characteristics we want in a partner, but sometimes that id rears its head and it wants what it wants when it wants it.

By Raqi

May 9, 2008 9:35 AM | Link to this

LadyJ in terms of fixing for me would be something like the way he dresses. I like a well dressed man but was willing to let that be a “work wither”. In some things I am not willing to accept less but in physical, material stuff I could bend.

IMO if a grown man doesn’t have good work ethics there is nothing a woman can to change that permanently. Therefore that would be a no-go for me. Can’t fix that.

By Lady J

May 9, 2008 9:36 AM | Link to this

Now Truth you just made a sista’s day!!!! Thanks my fellow Blog Brotha!!!:)

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this

Roses for all the single ladies keeping those eggs warm for a good swimmer.

LOL. Well, thank you Truth.

On another note, half my office has out today and the other half of us sound like frogs from all the partying in CA. Why did I come in today? Oh right, I had a 9:30 meeting and none of them are here. LOL

By Cemeeli

May 9, 2008 9:39 AM | Link to this

Morning!

Thanks to everyone for the Happy Mom’s Day wishes.

….hmmmmm….a mother…well…

It burdens and is hard for me to see him grow up, but I guess it would kill me quicker if he didn’t. We never know the love of the parent until we become parents ourselves. Since giving birth to my male child i’ve been continually making and learning from mistakes/trial/error…but…when i keep my mind on God’s will, my child finds in me what he needs.

for me the mother thing has been my best life lesson.

brb

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

May 9, 2008 9:39 AM | Link to this

Lady J I wouldnt trade being a rockin mama for nothing. I know it has made me a better woman ad even though I didnt think I was cut out for it, the Power that is said I would be fine and I am. Enjoying every moment, even when I am ready to get in that azz! LOL

For Real thanks for the Mother’s Day gifts!

By SlimOne

May 9, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this

ARed I guess I was a little bit too early with that post. lol

By Lady J

May 9, 2008 9:41 AM | Link to this

Yep Raqi I can see your point! Goes back to values, morals, and sheer standards and expectations…Not false dreams!! Thanks!

By shell72

May 9, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this

The 80-20 rule originated with a TD Jakes sermon years ago, funny how he never gets credit for it. I don’t buy into it. It’s too over simplistic in my opinion. Only you know what you’re willing to put up with in a relationship.

By mel

May 9, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this

If it is the perfect will of God, both parties will be 100% compatible with one another. It should not be about what I want, because that does not please the Lord. I trust the Lord to bring the one that was made for me when the time is right. In the meantime, I strive to be the person that the Lord wants me to be.

By Satoria Lynn

May 9, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this

The Truth Who asked you? It’s a list to refer to. A person can use that list anyway they feel appropriate. I bet you that someone on this blog took something from that list and has applied it already. What do you have to offer? What’s on your list? That’s right, a female who has a puddy and doesn’t care about anything else but getting you off. Am I wrong?

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

May 9, 2008 9:44 AM | Link to this

Sorry Truth! Thank you as well for the Mother’s Day gifts! LOL!

By Raqi

May 9, 2008 9:45 AM | Link to this

Darrell I will admit to settling for less with the Nature Guy. I would say he was a 50/50 guy.

By I am Legend

May 9, 2008 9:46 AM | Link to this

happy mothers day to all the beautiful ladies of the blog..

@flying turd…come on dude not this early…why attack them for no reason..so you went overseas and got you a maid..anyone can do that…you did not do anything special..you just went with the path of lest resistance..i am all for going abroad and laying the mack down…but not because its not cracking for me in the states..you read like a simp who had no game and went and PURCHASED a wife….ya square stay off the board if you have nothing of value to add…poo see aiggn!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

May 9, 2008 9:46 AM | Link to this

Bit-O

Thanks for that 9:34. I appreciate your honesty. ;-)

By 2CPTG©

May 9, 2008 9:48 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Wise Diva…….I promise not to akk a fool today…….unless Raqi say some’n crazy..(‘sup lil mama)

Hey Cee….

And to all you Mothers, enjoy your day, Sunday….and you Mr. Moms, as well….

By shell72

May 9, 2008 9:48 AM | Link to this

The 80-20 rule originated with a TD Jakes sermon years ago, funny how he never gets credit for it. I don’t buy into it. It’s too over simplistic in my opinion. Only you know what you’re willing to put up with in a relationship.

By For Real

May 9, 2008 9:50 AM | Link to this

Thanks Truth. Ladies meet me in the ladeis showers to get your 10k.

For Real: Awwww Mo, looking good mamma.

Mo: Thank you For Real. This is soooo nice of you.

For Real: No problem Mo. Now, here is your 10k. (For Real now counting out Mo’s money) 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30 35, 40, 45, 50,…

Mo: What are you doing?

FR: Counting your money. 55, 60,

Mo: Then why are you counting nickels?

FR: 65, 70, 75, hold on you gonna make me lose count. 80, 85, 90, 95, and $1. The 10k will be in nickels and dimes.

Mo: WTF???

By abc

May 9, 2008 9:51 AM | Link to this

I think that to sit around and dream up a list of traits that ‘the one’ must have is strictly for chicks. Those same chicks would be horrified to discover what men would have on their lists, lest they come up so woefully short.

It’s either there, or it isn’t. Stop thinking about it so hard. Do you like him, does it feel right? Then go for it. See what happens.

That’s not to say you shouldn’t exclude candidates that are obvious losers.

By The Truth

May 9, 2008 9:53 AM | Link to this

Turtle as much as I love me some sista’s I must admit you’re right. They don’t hold a candle to chicks from other countries. Some of the world travelling guys can chime in with a yay or nay. I’d say foreigners are more open to happiness where sista’s are more geared toward marriage/long term dating/family/(read kids). It’s a matter of approach. Foreigners are more outgoing and hence have more options. Americans use the go/no go system and hence have slim to no options.

For Real I was thinking the same thing about Kp. This cat is trying to corral the women in hopes of controlling the men. WTF??? And a puddy holiday isn’t going to help what ails us. KP Drop by my office when you come in today.

By Bit-O-Honey

May 9, 2008 9:53 AM | Link to this

Legend WOW!!! thanks for standing up for the blog ladies! I appreciate that. (((hugs)))

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this

The 80-20 rule originated with a TD Jakes sermon years ago, funny how he never gets credit for it

Shell72 - I would have been happy to give him credit if I had known. Don’t follow TD Jakes tho. Good info tho.

abc - Good post at 9:51. I tend to agree.

By 2CPTG©

May 9, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this

“That’s not to say you shouldn’t exclude candidates that are obvious losers.”

abc, man, you’ve been cracking me the hell up, lately…..

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 9, 2008 9:57 AM | Link to this

Yes…Happy Mother’s Day to the Sexy mommas!!

Mo, Raqi, Angie, Sexy Leggs,6’1, KinderBabe, Lady J

And all the other mothers I have forgotten….

Truth That is wrong. You want someone who is STRONG where you are weak.

Here is your example:

You are a big mouth, you need someone who is a strong quiet. Who will not battle back and forth with you.

Two big mouths don’t mix.

Like for me. I am not good with saving so I need someone who can say “No, Blow….stay focus we can not afford or need this.” Me…. if it’s some hot pair on sandals and I got the money and my bills are paid. I would not think twice. It’s a bad thing because I do need to save more money seeing I don’t have kids or a house or any major responsibilities. So my money is FREE. But I do need to think about the bigger picture and the long run. Life is unpredictable. That’s why this yr I set up a few accts to help me. But that is my weakness….shopping and doing exactly what the fugg Blow wants to do. Oh yeah I still need cable ppl….lmao!

By Binford2K8

May 9, 2008 9:57 AM | Link to this

The eggs sit there, and it’s like musical chairs until there is one egg left! That’s the HIGHLANDER EGG THEORY! :)

On Topic: We all look for potential, though at least I don’t approach a female as potential playdough as Diva does to the fellas ;p It is important for someone to have the ability/potential to grow and mature and expand their horizons.

But “feelings” and “attraction” can blind one to another’s value. If we went on a more practical criteria, we’d let our family pick out a date to be a mate. Though we all know this isn’t how it works.

One has to define what they want and be reasonable - but that definition never accounts for the X-Factor, and that seems for what we all look for. If it were just a practical exercise of value, we’d all be married because that would be the easy part. Those pesky “feelings” of “romance” (partially tied to physical attractiveness) are what does most folks in.

By lizzylove

May 9, 2008 9:59 AM | Link to this

Wish this were an original thought.

This 80/20 rule is in Tyler Perry movies!

By QC

May 9, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this

For Real LMAO!!!!!!

By lizzylove

May 9, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this

Wish this were an original thought.

This 80/20 rule is in Tyler Perry movies!

By lizzylove

May 9, 2008 10:03 AM | Link to this

Wish this were an original thought.

This 80/20 rule is in Tyler Perry movies!

By Bit-O-Honey

May 9, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this

Truth so you’re just going to co-sign with that generalization all willy-nilly? WTF is up with you guys today? If American women are so freggin disappointing then won’t don’t you all just leave the U.S or mail order yourselves a bride/sex slave? Geez!!

Women are different. Women from the Midwest are different from women in the South. Women from the West Coast are different from Women on the East Coast. None lesser than the other, but just different. I wish men would MAN UP and accept that they just don’t know what the hellz they want and instead of committing to a single serving you’d rather live the variety pack of life.

By Angie

May 9, 2008 10:05 AM | Link to this

Thanks Blow!

By lizzylove

May 9, 2008 10:05 AM | Link to this

Wish this were an original thought.

This 80/20 rule is in Tyler Perry movies!

By The Truth

May 9, 2008 10:06 AM | Link to this

Satoria That’s right, a female who has a puddy and doesn’t care about anything else but getting you off. You’re close but there’s more. How about smart, functional, great personality, not shot out, mentally fresh. You know anything about that? Didn’t think so. I know that when a chick digs the Truth she’s going to get me off in any way I please so that doesn’t have to go on my list. It’s a given. I could do more with less than you could do with all because I bring more to the table than you’ll know about in this lifetime.

Wise I can’t remember if you have children but either way I want you to have a great Mom/future Mom day. We appreciate you. I’m sorry, I need a tissue, i’m getting mushy.

Actually the 80/20 principle states that 80 percent of the results come from 20 percent of our efforts. It’s the Pareto principle and was conceived over 100 years ago. Td had nothing to do with it, except steal it.

By Blue_Kolla

May 9, 2008 10:06 AM | Link to this

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to all of the moms.

80/20 in marriage is one thing, but you need to be 85/15 - 90/10 if we’re just kicking it.

Dem C’s ;)

By lizzylove

May 9, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this

Wish this were an original thought.

This 80/20 rule is in Tyler Perry movies!

By kinderbabe

May 9, 2008 10:09 AM | Link to this

to: mo, ladyj, blow, AR, slim, QC, satoria, cemeeli, all lovely ladies of the blog, whether you’ve birthed a child or blessed a child, the spirit of motherhood is with you.:) have a wonderful mother’s day!

By lizzylove

May 9, 2008 10:09 AM | Link to this

Wish this were an original thought.

This 80/20 rule is in Tyler Perry movies!

By Cemeeli

May 9, 2008 10:10 AM | Link to this

Hey Moms! Treat yourself!…. however you treat yourself.

Cee treating self to a massage

Truth…Chateau Elan and spa trip…the Phipps shopping $10,000.00 you’re so generous.

2C hey.

By I am Legend

May 9, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

@truth..it is a yay or nay on the overseas thing for me…like you i have dipped my pimpn pen in other countries..some good some bad…but again i am not betting the farm on the overseas chicks…i have known to many to do it and come back with a grown a* kid…most forgien educations will not go over well here so your mate may not be able to get a good job…driving is not paramount in other countries here it is..feel me…it is like marrying a big azz teenager is some respects..and trust i work with alot of folks here that have foriegn handmaidens

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 9, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

Legend Exactly he went out and brought him a wife. I am sure from a 3rd world country. lol! So he does not even count. You can not find a stronger WOMAN then a black one. That’s why we are most hated on. Whats to conquer when you have yourself a weakling. You put any WOMAN from ANY race up to the test. I Bet you from nickels to thumb tacks Black WOMEN comes miles ahead. All the trials we been through and you want to $hit on us. That is a slap in the face. Truth you need to wake the fugg up too..You want you a “sir yes sir” a robot…this is not “Stepford Wives”. Appreciate a woman with her own mind….it’s a beautiful thing.

@flying turd…come on dude not this early…why attack them for no reason..so you went overseas and got you a maid..anyone can do that…you did not do anything special..you just went with the path of lest resistance..i am all for going abroad and laying the mack down…but not because its not cracking for me in the states..you read like a simp who had no game and went and PURCHASED a wife….ya square stay off the board if you have nothing of value to add…poo see aiggn!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By Lady J

May 9, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

Thanks Blow!!!

By The Flying Mud Turtle

May 9, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

A lot of interesting comments here. Yes, I did buy the first car on the lot-an American model. It was a true religious experience. I never believed in hell before I married her. After the divorce I went wilding with a number of other women. And then came that wonderful conference in Paris where I met my wife. No, she’s not a maid-stop being a jelous b***-she just out classed the likes of you.
European women are educated but haven’t forgotten that they are women. The can hold a conversation, give most American women a run for their money in the career department, and never forget that they bring beauty to our lives. Sorry, chicks; rejoice, guys, there are still quality women out there. Women you will be proud to escort wherever you go, that your mothers will beam approval once she gets to know them, and that don’t have all the psychotic features of your selection here. And they’re only a Delta flight away.

By For Real

May 9, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this

The 80/20 rule was not created by TD Jakes. My Paw-Paw told me that when I was ten years old and Paw-Paw heard it from his daddy TD… wait a minute….

Turth Kay-Pee Needs to stop by my office first but my point exactly and what is up with that Men hate Authority ish? So, I am going to use the road of least resistance “Women” to get men to act the way he thinks I should act. And think about Truth only 2 females on this questioned him the rest high fived and wanted to hear more. He is using the classic Men bad and woman good methodolgy.

An unexamined faith is a blind faith.

By Satoria Lynn

May 9, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this

The Truth I agree, you are a good man and a great catch. When I try to add my .02 to a topic, it’s not cool to step on my pretty little toes. You come on here everyday and scream about what you don’t like. That’s fine and all, but I did my job successfully. Who are you to tell anyone on here that they didn’t, or that their .02 is bullshyt? Wait, you just shyted on my list and then bust out with yours!?! WTF!

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

Exactly he went out and brought him a wife. I am sure from a 3rd world country.

LOL Blow, can’t you see? He’s a troll and has gotten shot down by American women. He probably got taken to the cleaners by one.

It’s all good tho. The foreign women can have him and us American women can rejoice that one less troll is off the market. :-)

By Cemeeli

May 9, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

QC lunch on the patio??? wth…Blue what’s really going on? Do you think i can hop/sprint my happy self on over to Fltn Co. and join em?

if not,

IslandG can we have that same ethnic lunch menu again today?

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 9, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

TGIF!!!!

Slim you are in to S&M I see….LOL

Lovelyliz As long as he doesn’t break one of the deal breaking rules give him a shot I agree 100%.It all depends on what you can/can’t or will/won’t deal with. If I am attracted to him physically, mentally and emotionally, there are some things I can overlook. But there are some majors that I can’t, like: cheating, lying, abusive behavior, can’t hold a steady job, no ambition, not keeping your word, standing me up or keep me waiting, constantly picking fights with me (Jekyl & Hyde personalities). Those are the no-no areas and are straight dismisal terms. I will not settle for anybody just fro the sake of having a man. So many women do that, especially here. Then they think you wnat their crappy man! UGH! get a grip girlfriend..only you want those problems.

Legend LMAO on you 9:46 post dude! You ripped him! LOL heck I could go over seas and find anyman who wishes to become a US Citizen..fo course he’d marry be and be good..unless he is JOnathon PLummer (Terry McMillian’s ex-girl..I mean ex man)!

By Satoria Lynn

May 9, 2008 10:18 AM | Link to this

Thank you kinderbabe!

By Cemeeli

May 9, 2008 10:19 AM | Link to this

Thanks kinderbabe i appreciate you!

By Lady J

May 9, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

KB girlie don’ make me tear up!!! yall know i spent a mother’s day on this blog before crying the entire day!!! Thanks honey! Ladies yall want to plan to go see Jill Scott together??? It is time to prepare if we get a plan going…KB you can be in charge…lol

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

May 9, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

Binford “But “feelings” and “attraction” can blind one to another’s value.”

I agree and that’s also been my argument all along.

Women like to talk about how they want a “good” man, but “good” as defined how? I would that more women could see a man for the intangible value he might bring to the relationship, because “value” encompasses so much more than the tangible qualities so often associated with how many women define a “good” man.

In the “organic” sense, a “good” man should be defined based on his ability to love his woman as expressed, in part, by his capability to provide for her. After all, it is the innate nature of a man to provide. Conversely, a “good” woman should first and foremost be defined by her ability to love her man as expressed, in part, by her capability to nurture and respect him.
Personally, I define an “attractive” person as anyone who intrinsically possesses these attributes.

By Bit-O-Honey

May 9, 2008 10:24 AM | Link to this

Amazon Red you crack me up. DOWN WITH THE TROLLS!!! DOWN WITH THE TROLLS!!

By The Truth

May 9, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this

Bit-O-Horny calm down baby. I’m saying women in other countries are more pleasant than alot of american chicks. Lets face it, some of you are straight shot out. Let me give you an example: A chick from europe will meet a guy and tho he may not be her ideal mate she’ll still be courteous and they’ll become friends. She’ll wind up meeting his buddies and may find a potential mate amongst them. And they don’t have a problem with that. An american chick will decide he’s not what she’s looking for and then bolo the cat. It’s not so much the women but our culture. We disgard anything that doesn’t bring us instant gratification where their more focused on long term happiness.

Blow stop with that black women are strong shyt. Some are, some are wasted. Just because you can endure shyt doesn’t make you strong. Sometimes being strong is avoiding the shyt all together. And quit with that robot stuff. I doubt if you could keep up with the women I’ve dated financially and definetly not mentally. Really tho it doesn’t matter because in the end she’s going to be in her place. I’m not one of these “she’s my wpman and my equal” cats. You have a place, if you leave it I’ll put you back in it. If you get into my lane I’ll guide you back to yours. And that’s regardless of education, breast size, or any other criteria you can come up with.

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this

whether you’ve birthed a child or blessed a child, the spirit of motherhood is with you.:)

Lawd kinderbabe, I appreciate you saying this. I’m giving the evil eye to the spirit of motherhood right now though! Let me just say that it’s not safe for a uterus out there! LOL I’m spending Mother’s Day hiding under my covers. LOL

But thank you for the kind words and including me in the shout out!

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

May 9, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli treated myself to concert tix to see Lalah Hathaway, Rahsaan Patterson and Brian Culbertson. Its not til Father’s Day weekend but I can wait! LOL

Kinderbabe thanx chica!

For Real lmao at the skit!

By Cemeeli

May 9, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this

ladyj dont chu’ start that! It’s a glorious time not sad. kinderbabe scheduled the meet n greet @ Strip, which was nice…let’s see if she up to another.

By SlimOne

May 9, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this

KB Thanks chica…I’ll be sure to pass the message on to my ever-aging unused eggs. lol

By Wise Diva

May 9, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this

wow Flying Mud Turtle! Way to kick in the door, LOL. Although your comments were seriously bashing American women (and um, is your mother America?), I certainly support international love. I would love to meet someone from a different country, and I am open to different cultures. However, I won’t be with him because he is the antithesis to the American male. I would think that would take away from who he is, as a person. I wouldn’t want to make him seem like some exotic desirable accessory/trophy/servant. Glad you found love though (even though you didn’t mention that you actually loved her)

By The Flying Mud Turtle

May 9, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this

The Flying Mud Turtle International Guide to Women: English: Generally as hung up as ours, but at least they have a cute accent. French: High maintenance. Real, really high maintenance. You think American women are picky? If so, you haven’t met a French one yet. German: Prepare to be dominated. Brazilian: You’d better have a lot of stamina to survive one of these. Eastern Europe: Actually, the women there have a superior education to most I find here. A virtual gold mine for intelligent, none-psychotic women who are truly interested in a commitment. Anything Nordic: It probably doesn’t matter. She’s so damn good looking that you’ll never see any of her flaws. Spain: Laid back, easy going. Portugal: Spanish but harder to understand her language. Oriental: Well, some of these qualify as maids, but they’re so dedicated that if you’re running late for your bus, they’ll throw themselves in front of it to stop it for you. Some dudes go for this but it’s a bit extreme for my taste. Italian: Prepare to get fat because she’ll feed you to death. Greek: No, no, no. You wind up marrying her family, who will never accept you unless you’re Greek yourself. Thus spake the Turtle

By abc

May 9, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this

I know at least several men with wives that are not American, and they’re hardly trolls. Their wives are well educated, charming and lovely women. That they’re Russian, Filipino or whatever has no bearing on American women’s merits or lack.

If the man is a troll, what would motivate a foreign-born woman to stick with him once they got back to the U.S.? Granted, some may marry just for the ticket to the States, but after that, life is fair game.

By kinderbabe

May 9, 2008 10:33 AM | Link to this

you’re welcome, ladies!!

i’ll be sending out an e-vite for the jill scott concert in july. let me know if you’re interested. i’ll keep you all posted.;)

By Cemeeli

May 9, 2008 10:33 AM | Link to this

Mo that’s what i’m saying. Enjoy…sounds like fuuuunnnn.

By Lady J

May 9, 2008 10:34 AM | Link to this

CeeCee they are happy tears but I am too dag on happy to cry!!! SO I won’t!!! LOL!

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 10:37 AM | Link to this

If the man is a troll, what would motivate a foreign-born woman to stick with him once they got back to the U.S.?

Same reason American women stay. Security. Let’s face it. I’m sure these foreign women marry for true love but what a coincidence that many of these men just happen to have a little bit of money in their pockets.

I remember reading Dennis Rodman’s book a few years back. He was saying how none of the sistas gave him the time of day back when he was growing up. So when he got money he went out and got him a white woman. I see a lot of parallels with men who go overseas, not to say none of these marriages are genuine. But there is a certain TYPE of person that shuns one group for another as opposed to saying “hey, I was in Paris and it just worked out that way.”

By Wise Diva

May 9, 2008 10:37 AM | Link to this

Wise I can’t remember if you have children but either way I want you to have a great Mom/future Mom day. We appreciate you

AWW! The Truth, Thank you honey! I don’t have any children but I really appreciate the sentiment - and please stop turning me into a softie today, I have a rep to uphold!! LOL

By Page1908

May 9, 2008 10:38 AM | Link to this

LOL OMG did Turtle just use the word Oriental to describe an ethnicity? WTF?!

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 10:38 AM | Link to this

Oriental: Well, some of these qualify as maids, but they’re so dedicated that if you’re running late for your bus, they’ll throw themselves in front of it to stop it for you.

LMAO. This guy is funny!

By Bit-O-Honey

May 9, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

Truth again you’re perpetuating the stereotype. In fact, I met my dude through a friendship that I made after someone tried to hook-me-up with their cousin. We didn’t hit it off, but he was a cool dude and I kept his number. Whenever he’d come to Atlanta, he’d hit me up and we’d do lunch or have drinks and he introduced me to my love. Debunking myths daily in a city near you

By The Truth

May 9, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

Satoria your list was created by someone else and had nothing to do with what you want. Listen, you can sell everyone on how he should be a good listener and all that shyt but the truth is you want a cat that’ll pull your wig back and ride that azz. You’re a female and want to be dominated, but in a way that’s acceptable to you. You’re looking for a cat that can care for you and keep you from making some of the stupid mistakes you will make. You can sell some these cats on how he should be there for you and all that but really you want a cat you can follow and know he’s going to lead you to the right place. Go ahead tho, keep frontin for folks. Wink Wink

For Real I guess that cat feels that because he went to OSU and ran track (he’s posted that at least 100 times)that he’s an authority and we should follow him. I recommend a blanket party for him. Load your pillowcases with soap and lets wup his azz. LOL Darrell you in on this or what? LOL

By Cemeeli

May 9, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this

kinderbabe i’m there….ooohh, not the same w/e as The Color Purple/Braselton trip, i hope!

crossing fingers

By For Real

May 9, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this

Ladies why does dude have to be a troll or a simp? How can you judge his experience with women and not judge your own? He was wrong for making a general statment about all Black Women but maybe all of the black women he met gave him cause to go elsewhere.

Blow Come with the all black women are better than rest of the women. That’s no difference than what Turtle said. What trials have you been thru? And don’t go name what someone else has gone thru.

By Unknown

May 9, 2008 10:44 AM | Link to this

Dang Blow Me! If you wanted a date with The Truth, you really blew it now hun.

By cool breeze

May 9, 2008 10:45 AM | Link to this

There sure are alot of broad generalizations about foreign women flying around. Guess if it makes you feel better about yourself go right ahead. I ain’t mad at him. If it equals less stress then I am all for it.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

May 9, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this

Truth “Darrell you in on this or what?”

I’m there! Matter of fact, I say we all watch “Full Metal Jacket” first just to get us in the right frame of mind. You know how that blanket party turned out, right? LOL!

By lovelyliz

May 9, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli I went out with a guy who like me had been in the military that along with other things made us on paper a really good fit. You would like having lots in common meant you had similar value. We alsways had a good time and he could make me laugh.

Unfortunately he would open his mouth and certain words would come out. Certain word to describe certain races of people and those living in other countries.

We gelled on 80% and then some, but that line he crossed was the deal breaker for me.

By Blue_Kolla

May 9, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this

Shell The 80-20 rule originated with a TD Jakes sermon years ago, funny how he never gets credit for it.

Maybe that’s because it’s not his own original work.

Legendary Rell come on dude not this early…why attack them for no reason..so you went overseas and got you a maid..anyone can do that… <=== Look at Cap’n Save’em over there.

What’chu joinin’ the ministry now? I see you over there mayne.

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this

He was wrong for making a general statment about all Black Women but maybe all of the black women he met gave him cause to go elsewhere.

Uhhh For Real…I missed the part where he specified black women.

By abc

May 9, 2008 10:47 AM | Link to this

You’re a little quick to discount “foreign women’s” mojo. As far as having money goes, all women respond positively to that. All, as in every last one. Show me an American woman who married for love in spite of there being no dough, and I’ll show you a girl that’s 18-20 years old that didn’t know any better. Just sayin.

By mamalongleggs

May 9, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

There are too many rules we place on ourselves when it comee to dating which is a direct recipe for failure, why? because we put too much effort not to break any of the rules and miss out on seeing the person for who they are, instead we keep tabs on what number he/she didn’t add up to.

Happy Mother’s DAy to all the mothers/god-mothers/mother figure/auties/play mom/den mother and any other mother out there

Not leaving Truth out cos he’s one bad Mother f/ker

By I am Legend

May 9, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

* wish men would MAN UP and accept that they just don’t know what the hellz they want and instead of committing to a single serving you’d rather live the variety pack of life.*

here is the trick Bit-o-honey..you has a women have to allow the man the space to MAN UP…if you dont then dont expect to be the apple of his eye..no one said you had to stow away your hewoman badge..just like women want men to tone down some of the ball scratching and chest thumping…we require you to play on some of our traditional sensibilities..feel me…

and men i do agree with truth that overseas women do have checks in the boxes for interpersonal communication..but again there will be some rough spots as there is really no shared history when you do that…and history is very important

@blow..the strong black women thing needs to die..if you strong then it will show thru your actions and not your words…all that strong black women here me roar….tells me you are really weak..because you get it how you live…and just because you view mamma and auntie as strong black women does not mean that power transfered to you…specially if you dont have war wounds to show how you earned that title

@turtle…i am not hating…i am just saying…when i was stationed in japan i landed on tuesday checked into my unit on wednesday…that night i was getting it in with two japanese nationals….friday i bagged a dependent chick…saturday i hooked up with other japanese national..the following tuesday i bagged ms okinawa at the time..or club queen….i am just sayin i did all this without much conversation on my part - i got chose with my mouth closed…and i am not even going to talk about kenya or thailand…those to this day are my best experiences and again i did not say much…

By Binford2K8

May 9, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

Darrell I do think a great amount of the time what is good for a person is inherently at odds with human biology.

And I’m certainly not going to pretend I haven’t passed on a good person because of the lack of physical chemistry/attractiveness.

But I went back to where I grew up recently and saw a bunch of women I dated and most were now divorced and with kid(s) and said to me pretty much the same thing: “We made a boo boo by picking the wrong guy (insert whatever reason), and you are a great catch - shame you don’t want a woman with a kid”

I laughed because, well - it’s true. Funny how a few mistakes open the old eyes though.

European women I do hear have a more compatible disposition - I think we’re in a period where American women do run the asylum right now - but hopefully, it’ll swing back to the middle here soon.

By Raqi

May 9, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this

2Can This is just for you just because I can.

It’s Friday so let’s get cuh-raazy. WiseD get your yardstick ready because I know I will probably get a slap on the wrist for this, but make it light because I am sticking with your 80/20 philosophy.

2Can ‘xplain this to me…a man (The Man) gets with a woman (Me) and after a thorough review gives her an 80/20 tally broken down like this:

80 Loving It(s) – Pretty face 10, Beautiful Smile 10, Lovely Hair 10, Handy Hips 10, Sexy Legs 10, Flattering Eyes 10, Waist/Hip Ratio 10, and Long Kissable Neck 10. That makes 80.

The other 20 his says is just ai’ight…the two (10 and 10) frontal twin mounds. Just…alright.

Now how is it that while loving the 80 percent of my physical, he has not yet failed to get enjoyment from the 20 as much as and then some as he does the 80. They get much attention being looked at, touched, kissed…I’ll stop right there…just as much as let’s say my handy hips.

Is that his way of trying “fix”” them…you know mold and shape them into what he wants them to be?

In other words…Men and Women say 80/20 but in truth we are saying bring it all…we’ll find a way to work with it.

(I’ll come back with some a little more serious and on topic when I return. Back in a sec)

But still answer this for me. You can too Sir alphabet. LOL

By shell

May 9, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this

As a Black women, I feel that stereotype of black women being strong has hurt us in the romance area. Sometimes I think it hinders are judgment about what I don’t refer to myself as a strong black woman anymore, because I’ve seen some of the men strong black women end up with.

Re:TD Jakes 80/20. I was referring to his sermon on relationships that Tyler Perry used in his movies. My first time the 80/20 rules was in a TD sermon years ago. Now, the good and bad list has been around for decades. You make a list of the good times and the bad times.Which ever list is the longest determines if you should stay are go. Like most I just use what the hell I won’t put up with list. And it works every time.

By For Real

May 9, 2008 10:53 AM | Link to this

First date……

Chick: Hey this is a really nice spot.

Dude: Yeah it is.. Do you want to catch a movie after dinner?

Chick: That would be nice

Dude: Cool. Maybe we can catch a Tyler P movie I liked the last one he did.

Chick: Okay. Yeah I like the movie too. What did you think about the 80/20 rule? I think I am going to incorporate that into my life. What about you?

Dude: I keep my 80/20 rule in my pants.

Chick passes the f/k out.

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this

You’re a little quick to discount “foreign women’s” mojo

Not at all, I’m sure foreign women are bomb however: (I’ll say this again)

There is a certain TYPE of person that shuns one group for another as opposed to saying “hey, I was in Paris and it just worked out that way.”

The mother of my best friend in high school got pregnant the day she lost her virginity (damn!). The guy was a troll and ended up going to prison years later. She shunned black men after that and is now happily married to a white guy. Are they truly in love? Probably so. But she had already set her mind that it wasn’t going to happen with any black man who crossed her path.

By Satoria Lynn

May 9, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this

The Truth I’m not frontin, just putting good info out there for whoever may need help on starting their list. Truth, some people don’t know what to look for, plain and simple. This list can be a start. Maybe the person w/o a list didn’t know where to begin. Your posts are quite informative and I’m sure many have learned quite a bit from you. Do you realize that you’re giving away this stuff for free? My friend paid $85/hr for marriage counseling. Since you are unemployed, think about going that direction. You would be awesome!

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 9, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this

Truth You may be right. It does take a mildly retard insane in the membrane chick to deal with you. So yes….they are a lil slow. The only thing they may have is the patience. Honestly you don’t even know me enough to know me mentally nor financially. You can only go off my BLOG persona. The same with you. I don’t know you enough to TEAR you down as far as mentally and financially. But, anyway I don’t want to be with someone that only wants me for what I have…but more so who I am. FLAWS and all. Cause at the end of the day whats going to keep me in love is WHO you are not what YOU have. That’s the simple s**. Making it last for the long haul 30yrs + marriage has nothing to do with what he has. I am not even going to get that personal with you. So you need to do the same. But I can talk about that FOUL stench of yours! lol! You have a huge EGO…you think you can train women as you do your dogs. Sorry bruh…that dog does not hunt. The GAME does not go like dat. You are not SUPERIOR to women. She is your equal…you would not treat me like 3rd world step child. She is suppose to be your mate. Not a mindless mute witness that will go along with anything Truth dishes. Yeah you do need those DOGS…..I am starting to see you have some IKE TURNER tendencies. Controlling and VERBALLY abusive.

By Cemeeli

May 9, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this

Ladies why does dude have to be a troll or a simp?

i’ve never called a guy a “troll”. and got the simp thing from the blog. ergo…finding one is not my thing. I’m my own simp, i pay self and treat self.

For Real culture….

Most of what i learned about taking care of a man, truthfully has been learn from one-my grandmother/g-daddy, an asian friend of mine and a jamacian elder lady. Now, my mother she doesn’t take ANY prisoners! I have to say she ran the house and ran my daddy right on out of there. Momma was a firecraker and she had bite and spitefire attitude could take it or leave it. Very smart, and domesticated woman.

By shell72

May 9, 2008 10:58 AM | Link to this

Sorry, for the incomplete sentence. I meant, sometimes it hinders us from enjoying femininity. There’s nothing wrong with being vulnerable once in a while. And I agree with The Truth about being strong is to avoiding shyt all together. Now that’s the god’s heaven truth.

By SeanJohnson3000

May 9, 2008 10:59 AM | Link to this

@ Blow….the boys are right…TOO many of todays black females are riding off the skirt tails of true great women….i dont run across too many strong YOUNG women anymore…thats ready to help build together on something real…its about your self and wanting a man to add to what YOU already have..

By kinderbabe

May 9, 2008 11:00 AM | Link to this

*cemeeli jill is during the week, the last wednesday in july. i will check on tix this evening when i get home. need to find out group rate and such.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

May 9, 2008 11:01 AM | Link to this

For Real *”Dude: I keep my 80/20 rule in my pants.

Chick passes the f/k out.”*

If chick had been smart she’d have converted 80/20 to a fraction and come up with 4. I doubt she’d have passed out then. LOL!

By fri

May 9, 2008 11:02 AM | Link to this

@ABC-so since u had two failed marriages & almost a third you are a realtionship expert.

By The Flying Mud Turtle

May 9, 2008 11:04 AM | Link to this

Just so you know, my wife did not marry me to come to the U.S. Although she is respectul of things here she has indicated that if anything was to happen to me she would return home. Sorry, jingos, not everyone wants to be American, and even less want to be in Georgia. In fact, we are giving great consideration to going to her home country once I get my retirement. Her family has embraced me as no other woman’s family has. But none of them harbor any desire to come to this country other than to visit their grandchildren and then leave as quickly as possible.
Am I a troll? I don’t think so. I have a professional degree, own my own house, have rental property, and keep myself in shape. I’m probably not movie star good looking but I don’t seem to frighten children and small animals. If I am a troll then a lot of American women must be into trolling… Sorry, American women, but I’ve got to be candid about the facts of life. Oh, btw, my mother and father are American, but my step father was French Basque-hence I picked up enough of the language to function.

By Cemeeli

May 9, 2008 11:05 AM | Link to this

lovelyliz you’re not gonna run…No, let me say like this. Do you think that 20% that you don’t ‘gelled’ with him is worth losing the 80% that you so like/love?

line crossed?

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 9, 2008 11:06 AM | Link to this

Truth I am like that chick you describe from Europe. I am never rude to a guy who approaches me respectfully. I let him know that I do not do anythign remotely close to emotional connection. If he still insists..sure we can be friends. I have been approached by many men who I did not find attractive..but I still hung out with him, and was his friend. But that is because I ama friendly person, unless you give me a reason to bring out the mean streak.

ARED I’m spending Mother’s Day hiding under my covers me to girl. My best friend out in Vegas is pregnant and we never thought it would be her. So whatever is in the air…I will not inhale it! LOL I got my Utero-Guard up! LOL NO SWIMMERS ALLOWED!

Mud Turtle * Italian: Prepare to get fat because she’ll feed you to death* heck yes..my girl is Italian and she feeds the crap out of her fiancee and me whenever I go visit. She is my diet breaker! German: Prepare to be dominated I think I have German in my blood then! LOL Orienetal….dude..nobody says that anymore…the term is Asian! You forgot Caribbean women (West Indian and Latina) Let’s see if you get us right!

abc If the man is a troll, what would motivate a foreign-born woman to stick with him once they got back to the U.S. that is because the rules of the game have changed. Now days just being married to a citizen does not make you one. They are cracking down on that. Trust me..I know.

By Unknown

May 9, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this

Hint for the Ladies If a man’s pupils grow larger after first meeting him, he likes what he sees.

By Cemeeli

May 9, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this

venting

all this PINK

I think every associatie in the building is wearing pink today! I understand we have a Corporate funraiser for tommorow’s Susan G. Komen @ A-Station but all this pink is making me dissy. i like my t-shirt though

Lily Nation now turned Pink Pastures!!!…it’s only a sprinkle of us browns & we fade in all the pink….

By For Real

May 9, 2008 11:12 AM | Link to this

Ared You’re right For Real now slapping the ish out Ared for correcting me in front of company.

Cemee That’s cool I wasn’t saying all the ladies called him that. You have a good mix of people to learn from and that is good.

For Real now handing Cemee a needle and thread for her to put a hem in his pant while For Real licks Cemee’s back.

By 2CPTG©

May 9, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

Raqi, first off, I’on believe in no relationship ratios! no 80/20, no 50/50, none of that mess…..Gimme a 100, and I’ll reciprocate…..

damn a ratio, unless it’s your phi ratio (The Divine Number)…and it’s in perfect proportion….

By I am Legend

May 9, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

@blue kolla…try again……lol

dude is a lame and his list was lame..he was wrong on alot of it..but hey what do i know…but go ahead say what you must.

By Angie

May 9, 2008 11:17 AM | Link to this

first off, I’on believe in no relationship ratios! no 80/20, no 50/50, none of that mess…..Gimme a 100, and I’ll reciprocate…..

^5 babe!

By Cemeeli

May 9, 2008 11:24 AM | Link to this

fri no he just wants to have some ethnic brunch. :-) I’ve seen his kind before. easy

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 9, 2008 11:24 AM | Link to this

Blow Me You are not SUPERIOR to women. She is your equal Well put mami. A lot of dumb azz men seem to think they are somehow superior to women. Just as massa to slaves! LOL Seems like a transferral of discrimination to me!

By Kym

May 9, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

I like the concept of the 80/20 rule because in the end you can try and fix someone all you want you will eventually either take them for who they are or they will move away from you because you are always trying to fix them..instead of accepting them as they are.

As for the whole women born on USA soil vs wome born anywhere else. I think that is about personal choice. I mean the reverse can be said for the men who come to America and marry women here. Can we at some point come to the agreement that one you can not generalize all people. Yes I am sure there are some women in places all over the world who are willing to do whateva some men think some woman here in america won’t do..(I had this convo with some folks the other day.) But I always think and I ask the men this question..What exactly is it you think you want? Well some said they don’t challenge you over there..they are sexually advance..and they will do stuff american women wont do. Well considering the american porn out there..I would challenge that but I digress. I think in the end it is not about where the woman is from it is about what it is you expect from the woman you are with..and there are alot of men black and white who will never admit it but they have no idea what they want.

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 9, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this

For Real I am not on trial or about to let you blog cats decide for me. So no..I will not go into my personal life with you. I will drop a lil info. My father exposed me to both sides of life. He also taught me to be able to handle anything life dealt me. To me strength to me is something taught and things experienced in life. Every thing I have and the happiness I have has been FOUGHT for. He knows there is more in me so my STRENGTH is always tested.

I am Legend You already know homie…so I will not go there with you here and now.

Sj3000 You keep saying you have 3 breezys stashed that’s wifey material. That should be their number one trait. Ready to build something. A relationship should be about companionship and what you can achieve together. If you have $5 and she has $5…$10 can get you an awful alot more than just $5. First thing is to be UNSELFISH. Now that is a hard trait to find- Giving and Unselfishness. Amongst women and men.

Also….LEGEND, Truth, For Real, SJ3000 In my eyes there is NO man strong then a BLACK one. This has been tried and true. So for you to down grade and clown the “Strong Black Woman” is off base. I can not name one race of men who has endured so much and still remain positive.(Okay some of you are jack@$$ but I know the strength is in you…LMAO) It disgusts me when I hear our men say this. When I think so highly of black men…I will never date of my race. And yes SJ3000 struggles have been past down. You of all ppl talk about how the blk man is still oppressed.

Being a STONG BLACK WOMAN is no knock or downgrade to a STRONG BLACK MAN.

By Wise Diva

May 9, 2008 11:29 AM | Link to this

I would love to live abroad, actually. I still love America though, flaws and all.

By Blue_Kolla

May 9, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this

Cee *I have to say she ran the house and ran my daddy right on out of there. Momma was a firecraker and she had bite and spitefire attitude could take it or leave it. Very smart, and domesticated woman.

…and single?

SeanJ TOO many of todays black females are riding off the skirt tails of true great women….i dont run across too many strong YOUNG women anymore…thats ready to help build together on something real…its about your self and wanting a man to add to what YOU already have..

Seems to me that you say STRONG in the sense of being a go-getta, but when I think of strong, I think of a woman’s inner strength and moral fiber. Many broads today simply ain’t got it. They’ll bend like a blade of grass on a windy day for $2.

By Bit-O-Honey

May 9, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this

Hey Kym * Can we at some point come to the agreement that one you can not generalize all people.* That’s what I’ve been trying to convey all morning. Thanks girl, ^5

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 9, 2008 11:36 AM | Link to this

Blue Kolla Great. Good ANSWER!

By Raqi

May 9, 2008 11:37 AM | Link to this

abc I agree with you. I would say any woman over the age of 25 has come to realize it takes money to make it in this world. Love don’t pay the bills. No matter how strong it is.

2Can You proved the point needed to be proven however…

Point proven – When you accept the individual into your life it is for their entire 100.

However – When considering a mate one must (should) do so based on what they are willing to live with and/or work with. As state by The Villian, sometimes trying to fix it makes matter worse.

I used a sexual connotation to demonstrate how the 20 aight cannot be separated from the 80 love its. So choose wisely.

Now there is always enhancement after the fact…but that goes back to trying to fix it. No (physical) enhancement happening here.

By The Flying Mud Turtle

May 9, 2008 11:37 AM | Link to this

This turtle is about to go have lunch with his foreign wife. However, in all seriousness, I will point out this: Many American men feel that they should sacrafice their youth in pursuit of gaining an education and employment. I myself worked through college and graduate school and upon completion found…what? awaiting me. Our culture does not as a whole respect a person’s wanting to improve his lot in life. How many ladies here didn’t want to date a “nerd” or “geek” who did well in school? Especially when they could go after that cool, shade wearing dude whose daddy financed his car and his college but is now working at the car wash? I had many dates in school who were turned off by the fact that I worked a nothing restuarant job to pay for my education and who, years later, wanted my attention once I had obtained success.
European women tend, as a culture, to respect the idea of a man obtaining a profession first and a wife second.
So for you ladies here’s my humble advice. There are many unpolished gems before you but you don’t see their potential in 3, 5 or more years, and it is your loss.
As for me, I will not bother you. You wish to brand me as a “troll” having never met me, just as I suspect that you are too judgmental of any male that you meet. I have seen the culture that I like. While I make money here that I could not make in Europe, my heart longs for their strong family culture that still respects hard work (both in a profession and in a relationship). I polished up fairly well. I’ve found my gem in life. Other men in my similar situation will follow and their eyes will be opened as mine were.
May all who have commented-appreciate me or not-have as much success as I.

By SlimOne

May 9, 2008 11:39 AM | Link to this

No offense but i never really saw or see the point of claiming Strong Woman status. I’ve never referred to myself in that way…I have been through some things as almost all of us have. Does that make me any more ‘stronger, worthy, valuable’ than the next person who has experiences? Nope. I believe the correct term would be “Living”. As stated before, when my mom moved back to Bama…i asked her why it seemed she didn’t seem to worry about me. Her response was, I know you’re a survivor. That has stuck with me ever since. As far as topic goes, I know we are all different, all looking for different things, etc. But what happened to meeting folks and gauging off interactions & conversations on whether you may consider getting seriously involved with them. Who are we to come out with a 30ft list of ‘requirements’ from another person to even have an open dialogue? But I digress.

said while still buzzed off Henny from previous night

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 11:43 AM | Link to this

My best friend out in Vegas is pregnant and we never thought it would be her. So whatever is in the air…I will not inhale it! LOL I got my Utero-Guard up! LOL NO SWIMMERS ALLOWED!

Staceye - Girl, let’s go out and do the baby repellant dance. Like Samantha on Sex and the City having a “I don’t have a baby” shower.

My sister is pregnant and if I ever needed a sign to keep my legs closed, this is it. When I can tell you no one saw this one coming…LOL. We’re all excited and happy for her though, just shocked as heck.

By Cemeeli

May 9, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this

Blue yes. she was very single, and still is…After my daddy she was cool with it, from what i understand. But rememeber i’m the baby & don’t know is ALL. But guess what so is my daddy = single. He never said why.

By kinderbabe

May 9, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this

it’s sad to me that on practically the eve of the celebration of motherhood (mother’s day), folks would still find themselves talking about everything they think a black woman isn’t. how sad.:( where’s the love?

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this

Am I a troll? I don’t think so. I have a professional degree, own my own house, have rental property, and keep myself in shape.

LOL @ thinking having all this makes you exempt from being a troll. All the above just means you aren’t a scrub. LMAO!

By DreamsMaterialize

May 9, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

Hey Everyone Happy Friday.

I have a different take on the “80-20” rule. The 80-20 rule initially was developed by economist Vilfredo Pareto when he noticed in his studies that 80% of Italy’s wealth was in the hands of 20% of the population. This rule has been applied in many other areas. In business they say that 80% of your business comes from 20% of your clients. 80% of the work gets done by 20% of the people. The point is that 80% of the RESULT can be had by obtaining only 20% the INPUTS. So, in the context of dating it would say that 80% of THE MAN YOU WANT could be had with only 20% of YOUR REQUIREMENTS. In other words, you don’t need everything on the list, in fact you only need 20%. Of course, that’s if you believe the 80-20 rule applies to dating.

By Angie

May 9, 2008 11:46 AM | Link to this

slim i used to call myself strong, now i call myself survivor. that suites me better.

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 9, 2008 11:46 AM | Link to this

Turtle Come on now…That’s crap. You are talking about immature kids who do not understand what it takes to make it in life. I am sure you were looking at the high school cheerleader with the big boobs and had wet dreams about her. Instead of looking at the chubby chick who was making straight A’s and did community service to go along with her college app. Get the FUGG out of here.

You have to grow up and test the waters to learn and appreciate the qualities that will make a good man/woman. And overlooking the FOOLS GOLD….that some ppl are falling for.

By I am Legend

May 9, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this

@slim…that is why your thin azz is the prototype…well said love…well said

@turtle….now that is real talk there homie…and i did come at you earlier..but that post was on point…now if you went left for that reason..i can see it..

By The Truth

May 9, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this

Blow You come on here saying you want to be equal but in reality you don’t. Women are built to please and pleasing is a submissive action. Plain and simple. There’s not a woman in here that doesn’t dream of taking care of her fam, her man, and doing so happily (Maybe not Staceye). That is a female trait. So while you’re saying you want this and that actually you’ve already met that sensitvie cat and you hate it. What you need to do is get in touch with your inner woman and quit thinking that because you’re forced to work you’re now strong. We all know you still go home and cry in your pillow. But that’s ok, you’re a woman.

Staceye I believe you. I bet if we met somewhere we wouldn’t talk about this kind of stuff. This is for the sake of conversation. What I’m saying is these chicks have this go/no go system and their frustratoin level grows daily. Relax, meet people for what they are instead of what you want them to be. It’s not that deep and ultimately nobodies gonna change for us.

Rell you has a women have to allow the man the space to MAN UP. Gotta disagree on this one. I don’t need permission to do what I do. The only thing she can do is get frustrated because I’m doing my thang regardless. I’ve heard other dudes say “she won’t let me be a man” and I’m like wtf???

Satoria I’m not umemloyed. My market is in a slump but I’m still working. Don’t get it twisted. I could still come pick you up within the current hour, fly you to hawaii for a week and bring you back home safe and secure. And I’m not joking or laughing. However, in a few months I may need to borrow the money I spent on you to cover my mortgage. (Now I’m joking, but not really)

For Real For Real now slapping the ish out Ared for correcting me in front of company. LMAO

Blow just enduring doesn’t make you strong and historically black men have been the weakest mf’ers to EVER walk the earth. Don’t get it twisted. The reason we’re blogging today is because our forefathers refused to fight and accepted and embraced slavery. Had we fought we would have had pride about our people and wouldn’t have abandoned our own in masses. I know you all think that communication can solve anyting but the truth is sometimes you just have to get physical to get your point across. Had our forefathers had the strength to fight they would have had the strenght to care for their offspring. This situation we’re indidn’t just happen. It happened to the only people who would have allowed it. The white man couldn’t, the indian wouldn’t, and that left bruh man because he could and would. The truly strong don’t just endure but manipulate the situation to their benefit.

By Jewel

May 9, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this

Good morning Everyone!

do you think singles break the 80/20 rule a lot? The grass might be greener on the other side, but it still has to be mowed…People who are always looking for “something better” assume that they are a better catch for the next person, in my humble opinion.

I believe it is important to remember that you cannot change another person. You might wish for some things to change, but if those wishes are absolute deal breakers, let it go and move on. It boils down to acceptance of what you want and acceptance of the person…just as they are, not how you want them to be. It is one thing to acknowledge the person’s current state and believe in the future they desire for themselves; however, it is a separate notion to redefine them based on your idea of his or her potential.

My guy once told me that there is only one thing wrong with me: I talk too much. Now, coming from men, does that equate to 80%, or 20%?

Happy Mother’s Day

By Raqi

May 9, 2008 11:49 AM | Link to this

On the international love this is how I see it. If you want to know the absolute truth about international women/men, ask the international women/men in that same country. See, if they were truly all that why are they still single and available? Ah…how often do we hear that asked to and about American women?

What is it about that Italian woman that some Italian man hasn’t made her his wife? What about that Asian single? Brazilian, Cuban?

Let’s be real. I don’t frown on international love. I believe we all should find love where it suits us best. But don’t go putting down one nationality for the other when that other woman is just as single and available as the one you are putting down.

By Cemeeli

May 9, 2008 11:50 AM | Link to this

kinderbabe gurl, i don’t have time…made me erase my post :-). I was about to say sumthin to that same regard.

Kym why is it when i go in to the workbook @ Erk/Oprah webcast the questions/read make me sleepy? Lol Happy Mother’s Day to you!

By Angie

May 9, 2008 11:50 AM | Link to this

Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you’ll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.

By SeanJohnson3000

May 9, 2008 11:51 AM | Link to this

@ BK…nah bruh…..i mean of true character and loyality…its not about being a go getta…because i am one..but at the end of the day all a ninja want is a home cooked meal and some clean drawz…but like you say..TOO many females are selling their soul for fools gold..all the traits they are known for is almost lost….

@ Blown……i will get at you when i get back from lunch

By Tazzee

May 9, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this

kinderbabe ^5 on your 11:44 comment. When I read the topic I was all set to comment but as I read the comments…well, you know.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL THE MOTHERS!!!

By Cemeeli

May 9, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this

while taking off my earrings and shoes

Blue What da hayo you say ‘bout my mamma????

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

May 9, 2008 11:55 AM | Link to this

Off-topic (a little)

From the Atlanta Business Chronicle:

Study: Atlanta the Best Place for Singles to Move

By Lurker

May 9, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this

Flying Turd 10:28 - Perception is a funny thing. Your list can easily translate altogether different. What you indicate as going qualities aren’t anywhere near how I’d view nor would I find having those traits as a means those women having the edge. That’s just how I read though, I could be wrong. You wrote high maintenance (huh), great stamina, will feed you until you’re fat, intelligent non-psychotic and so on. By translation, I read gold digger, w*******, greedy, doormat and so on. Guess it’s all effortless for you too, eh? But as long as you’re happy….

By mytwocents

May 9, 2008 11:58 AM | Link to this

Aww, a handpicked rose! Gracias, Truth. Oh, Pareto Principle referenced in all sales gigs I’ve had. Understanding more your basis for mistrust.

Hate mathematical equations. We’re overcomplicating. Just want something I don’t even have to think about cuz it just feels right and we impact each other positively. But nope, don’t support deliberate molding of men. Don’t have a fixer mentality. A true fixer-upper probably requires more blood, sweat, tears & finances than anticipated and for most of us, pay-off likely to be anticlimatic. They say the same about homes, don’t they? Besides, what looks like a fixer-up to one woman may appear move-in ready to another. Let her pack her boxes! Heavy sigh Why do grown @zz women continue tryin to re-raise grown @zz men? Speaking of which…

Happy Mama’s Day, Mommies! And hope all the Hot Mamas & Wannabe Mamas have a Happy Day too =)

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 11:59 AM | Link to this

Can we at some point come to the agreement that one you can not generalize all people.

Kym - I am with you there and will also go a step further to remind folks this is not Black MIA blog. Can we please keep in mind that this blog can speak to different races, cultures and religions. If someone talks about women or men, don’t always assume it’s about black women and men. Geesh.

By abc

May 9, 2008 12:00 PM | Link to this

fri, nice insult, eff you too, as far as that goes.

Consider the person whose primary language is not English, who speaks with an accent but doesn’t hear with one. If that’s too oblique for you, then shut up.

Relationship expert? Hardly. I’m just a guy that learned what it was like the hard way. I made spectacularly bad choices in important areas of my life. I learned some lessons. I know better now, or at least I should.

By Kym

May 9, 2008 12:00 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli I tried the workbook once but never got into that part. I just took notes from the webcast in my book and highlighted passages and flaged pages I wanted to come back to. I did try the meditations and those are really great. Especially that one about not jumping out of the bed first thing in the morning but actually giving yourself a few mins to pause and welcome the day. I really needed that. I could go on and on about NE(New Earth) it has really been a awakening for me.

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 9, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this

ARED What the hell are you drinking girl!?!?! You are crazy! lol

That only doesnt’ make you a scrub!!

Silly girl. You see how men thinks that MAKES them. It doesn’t.

By For Real

May 9, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this

Slim That was on point.

For Real is taking back the tee-shirt and giving it to Blow.

Rell I got to disagree with the whole let thing. MO, is that’s part of the problem with 80% of the dudes these days. I don’t need anyones permission to do to me bc I am ready for the consequence of my actions.

By kinderbabe

May 9, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this

thanks cemeeli and tazzee for being on one accord w/me.:) i am so looking forward to the weekend! the kids are in rare form! guess i’m earning my motherhood badge…lol

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 12:06 PM | Link to this

You wish to brand me as a “troll” having never met me, just as I suspect that you are too judgmental of any male that you meet.

Turtle Are you kidding me? This coming from the guy that made his introduction on the blog calling American women “pintos.” And now you want to call us judgemental? I guess ignorance is bliss.

You haven’t met any of the women on the blog either. Take a long hard look at yourself and your issues and the impact rejection from a FEW American woman has created the “man” you are today.

You slay me. LOL

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 9, 2008 12:07 PM | Link to this

Truth I dont’ cry on my pillow. I am not an emotional wreak. You would never believe but ppl tend to come to me for sound advice. I am a woman. But I do not want a man to say. “Woman sit down I am a man”. Respect me as a woman and I will respect you as a man. I bet you liked Ike Turner you have abusive traits Truth work on that. And why would you consider yourself weak?

By SlimOne

May 9, 2008 12:08 PM | Link to this

Legend Preciate that backhanded compliment….can a sistah just be thickly-challenged? LOL j/k

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 12:09 PM | Link to this

i used to call myself strong, now i call myself survivor. that suites me better.

Angie - That’s all well and good, but you let yourself be a victim for far to long. True strength lies in the people who don’t allow themselves to be disrespected and manipulated as long as you did.

I am proud that you found a way out though.

By 6'1 & Luvin it (Dayuumit Man)

May 9, 2008 12:14 PM | Link to this

Not leaving Truth out cos he’s one bad Mother f/ker Ya dayuum right!!!!!!!!

By Jewel

May 9, 2008 12:15 PM | Link to this

Hello DK I remember you from way back when…I appreciate your 9:20 post. I believe my SO drinks too much, and not just because he drinks too much and I do not drink at all. I am concerned about the affects it could have on his health. But some how, he thinks I am nagging and want to change him. Unlike when you met your wife, I was not aware of his drinking until approximately four or five months into the relationship. How would you have preferred she voiced her concerns?

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 9, 2008 12:17 PM | Link to this

Kym & Ared I jumped the gun on that one! I should have not assumed it was a RACE thing. I jumped the gun on that. Read with understanding Blow! lol!

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 9, 2008 12:17 PM | Link to this

Kym & Ared I jumped the gun on that one! I should have not assumed it was a RACE thing. I jumped the gun on that. Read with understanding Blow! lol!

For REAL What t shirt are you giving me?

By Come now...

May 9, 2008 12:18 PM | Link to this

The reason we’re blogging today is because our forefathers refused to fight and accepted and embraced slavery. Had we fought we would have had pride about our people and wouldn’t have abandoned our own in masses.…please expound on what you mean by this, because what our black history tells us, folks like MLK, Jr and let’s go back even further, those very same black forefather’s who were slaves did not simply accept it, they were forced into it by being beaten left with welts on thier backs while at the same time watching slave owners rape their women. And, yet you say they didn’t fight, how so??? If it wasn’t for them you as a black man wouldn’t be where you are today! Otherwise, whose riding on coat tails again??? That of our forefathers especially…

If you wouldn’t mind, please explain exactly what you meant by this comment…

By Wise Diva

May 9, 2008 12:20 PM | Link to this

That’s all well and good, but you let yourself be a victim for far to long, umm self-righteous much? Girl, if we all could pick and choose the moments we all got a clue, it would be called utopia. Of course we have to take responsibility, but different people handle situations differently, doesn’t make any person stronger/weaker, just different.

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 12:25 PM | Link to this

Wise - Didn’t mean to come across as self-righteous. However, there are strong people and weak people in life. Some folks have moments of weakness and some folks are week people.

There are certain types of people that allow for and stay in abusive relationships. Chronic cheaters, wife beaters, not everyone falls into relationships with those types of people.

By I am Legend

May 9, 2008 12:25 PM | Link to this

@TRUTH/FOREAL….what i mean is this…women allow us into there lives…they still choose….i do me all the time..but when it comes to matters of the heart you get chosen…so if a women will let you in then you can be that man…if she does not say like stayece then you going to get challenge er time you turn around

remember that scene in hustle in flow where the chick was like i know when you missing with me because i let you do it….i am sure alot of folks missed that but that was some real game there ….

nola -

I know when you’re messing with my head.

Because I let you.

Because sometimes my head needs to be messed with.

But right now, just don’t.

Okay?

-Nola hustle and flow

By lovelyliz

May 9, 2008 12:28 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli Yes because I could never stand to be around anybody who used the words he did

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 9, 2008 12:28 PM | Link to this

Come NOW I did not even respond. REALLY. I overlooked that one. Because it did not make sense. But great post..maybe you will get a better answer and fight. Sometimes he will say anything the OPPOSITE of me just because. Some points aren’t worth arguing.

By Angie

May 9, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this

AmazonRed There are certain types of people that allow for and stay in abusive relationships.

i didn’t stay in the relationship. that’s why i’m here in the dirty. you must’ve missed that post.

kp what color do you want your blog vest in? lol.

By KP (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

May 9, 2008 12:32 PM | Link to this

KP has entered the building!

For Real and The Truth, no need for office visits today. Today is a debaters day off for KP. I knew my post would get under your skin, but that’s okay…no need to get offended.

The 80/20 rule is overly simplistic according to an earlier post. I agree somewhat. I agree that the search for perfection is a hopeless journey. Everyone needs a set of non-negotiable qualities for a desired mate and allow the others flow freely. It seems that some men and women are throwing away 90% folks because of the 10% they dislike, which is ridiculous.

By SOULglo

May 9, 2008 12:32 PM | Link to this

Everyone has their requirements in a mate and that’s okay. The 80-20 rule may not apply, but in theory it pretty much says that if the good outweighs the bad, don’t throw it away! I’ve had to learn over the last year or so that I can’t nitpick about everything, but more specifically, I can’t settle for ‘POTENTIAL’ Potential energy is stored energy. I need someone who is moving (kinetic energy)…doing things with their life. Am I asking for a millionaire? Nope, just someone who is out there making something of themselves and shares the same values as I do. Ladies, there ARE good men out there and when you truly find one, don’t miss out.

By shell

May 9, 2008 12:36 PM | Link to this

Of course we have to take responsibility, but different people handle situations differently, doesn’t make any person stronger/weaker, just different

Very true, Wise Diva. That’s why I gave up the strong black woman title a long time ago. I just do what I have to do to make it in this world. Even in relationships, I go by a case by case basis(no matter what race or color the guy might be.

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 12:37 PM | Link to this

i didn’t stay in the relationship. that’s why i’m here in the dirty. you must’ve missed that post.

No Angie - I got it. You stayed long enough to get cheated on with 30 different women right?

Y’all know I have a problem with tone on here, so just now I’m not saying this in a salty or stirring up stuff type manner.

By Come now

May 9, 2008 12:39 PM | Link to this

but more specifically, I can’t settle for ‘POTENTIAL’ Potential energy is stored energy. I need someone who is moving (kinetic energy)…doing things with their life.…^5, I agree and very well said!

By Wise Diva

May 9, 2008 12:40 PM | Link to this

oh right, because people are types, they behave and react a certain way? You would be surprised at how much people have endured, and it’s not always about weakness in character. My point was, who are you to say what her journey should look like, how long it should take, etc. We are the sum of our experiences right?

I have my own battle scars and I definitely wish some ish never happened to me, but since I have grown, I realized that it all made me the person I am today, it’s called being human - and when you know better, you do better ..pardon the cheesy cliches

By Raqi

May 9, 2008 12:43 PM | Link to this

Jewell I know you didn’t ask me but I am eavesdropping. I would address a matter of drinking and/or smoking in a way that show my concern for my mate’s health and that only. To say differently would make it seem as if you are judging that person for their actions, especially when it is not a habit that you engage in or particularly like. And that can be a difficult approach also.

There is a saying constructive criticism. Guess what there is no such thing when it comes to your mate voicing their opinion on something they find fault in. It comes across as being judgmental. We tend to accept certain things better coming from an outside source rather than from the one who share a life with us. The one whose life is also affected by our actions.

Mason has never been a smoker (thank God) but he will have a cigar every now and then when he hangs out with his friend Jimmy. I believe all types of smoke inhalation is bad for you. Not to mention it stinks. When I stated my opinion once I got feedback as if I was criticizing him. Yeah he is a grown man and can do whatever he wants. I got my answer right there. So from then the only thing I say about is I don’t like the smell and I can’t get close to him when he returns home after having smoked one. That’s all I can do.

By cool breeze

May 9, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this

There is a difference between being strong and being tough. Most women today are not strong but TOUGH. My mom and other women from her generation were/are strong because of what the had to deal with socially and be in support of their men and understanding of the world their men working in. They also played their role and worked hard without complaining like modern women tend to do about everything. I was in a group of women and they were talking about not cooking because they worked all day. My mom worked all day and cooked dinner for 6 kids and husband. I told these women why can’t you cook? you rustling cattle? diging ditches all day? Please….also they will talk about being strong but let a dude hurt their feelings and they’ll stop dating for a year.

By Sunshine & Rain

May 9, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this

This blog should be for entertainment only y’all are too damn funny!

All these different relationship experts

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 9, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this

ARED You have to have weak moments to test your strength and become strong. If you have not had one lucky for you. It will be tested.

Ex: My father past 4 yrs ago. I was weak. That situation help me to understand alot of things and open my eyes…That tested my strength.

If you are breathing you will have WEAK moments. It’s hard to cope for a moment I was a weak person.

That experienced made me STRONG.

Maybe it was something inside of Angie that needed to be tested. Obviously it was found…she left. Something needed to be pulled out of her. Now she has a story to tell that very well may help someone else. You do not know the cards in life that are going to be dealt to you. Don’t assume that certain things happen to certain ppl..everyone will have their DAY of trials.

By The Truth

May 9, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this

Blow where do you get some of the stuff you say? On Ike: Maybe Tina needed to get her azz wupped. I don’t know, i wasn’t there. Would I slap a chick, hell yes. But then again I’ve beat the shyt out of stone cold killers too. I’m going to break this down real simple for you. My goal is to enjoy peace every single day. If you are the cause of me not enjoying peace you will be dealt with. If my dog, who is sitting next to me right now, turns and bites me I’m shooting his azz. No questions, no regrets. If you are my lady and you think you’re bringing drama this way you better rethink this thing. As I said, i may be on earth 100, 1000, or 10,000 days but i want each one to be as peaceful as yesterday and the day before. I believe the best way to insure peace is prepare for war. I’m prepared.I don’t care about forever. I care that today is a good day because that will allow us to have a tomorrow and finally a forever. Now, do you understand that?

Come Now the black man didn’t fight. The indian fought, and killed. What we saw was a few cats that had some heart resisting. The masses fell into slavery witout much fight at all. Remember tho that tribal wars in africa were’nt violent affairs but moreso just selling wolf tickets and posturing. That’s exactly what we do today. Make a few statements, rah rah, then let others dictate our future. Even jews, who went through as much as we did, if not more, as soon as they could reached back and grabbed their families to consolidate whatever was left of it and go forward. Look at them now. MLK didn’t fight, he tried to negotiate with a people that had no respect for his kind. There’s adifference. First a man must know that you will fight, and to the death, to gain his respect. Then you can negotiate better terms.

when I worked at the pen we got 1 guy on the yard that was an aryan brotherhood member. He changed the whole prison population by his presence because everyone knows that if you touch those cats you are dead. No question. They wil do some of the most gruesome things imaginable to get their point across, and laugh when it’s over. That’s fear/respect. We’ve never had our oppressors fear/respect so they don’t need to bargain better terms. Why do you think that every other race that comes to america knocks us down one more step. We’re not united and therefore you can do anything to us. Hell, black men/women aren’t united, then we have light skinned/dark skinned, and the list goes on. Individually you can be manipulated. The strength comes ffrom the group. We have never been a group.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

May 9, 2008 12:46 PM | Link to this

Soulglo “Ladies, there ARE good men out there and when you truly find one, don’t miss out.”

Might wanna say that again, cuz I don’t think they heard ya.

By KP (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

May 9, 2008 12:46 PM | Link to this

Angie, I want a red blog vest(kappas love red).

By Sunshine & Rain

May 9, 2008 12:51 PM | Link to this

There are some real good Men out there; i just need to know where the hell they are!

Sunshine & Rain take out their flash lights in hopes of finding some good Men

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 12:51 PM | Link to this

My point was, who are you to say what her journey should look like, how long it should take, etc. We are the sum of our experiences right?

Who am I? Hopefully in the grand scheme of her life, no one. However, I am entitled to my opinion and can express it freely on here with those who want to be an open book about their experiences.

The part that struck me was “I used to call myself strong.” And sure she can think that and I can disagree based on MY OWN PERSONAL OPINION of strength. And I have said on here before that no one should take my opinion (or anyone elses) as gospel on how you should lead your life or feel about yourself.

But next time, I guess I should just change my blog name and post stuff like that instead. LOL

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 9, 2008 12:55 PM | Link to this

Truth Would I slap a chick, hell yes Ok…rest my case. You need help. And you asking about some of the things I say. See if I was your girl you would be in for it. I would shoot the $hit out of you with your own gun and have your dogs attack you…if you ever thought you could put a fuggin finger on me in any disrespectful way. That should not cross your mind. Violence…what kind of mess is that. You think beating or punishing someone to make them do what you want. That does not show STRENGTH to me but a serious weakness. You’re mind should be powerful enough.

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 12:55 PM | Link to this

If you are breathing you will have WEAK moments. It’s hard to cope for a moment I was a weak person.

Blow Me - I agree with all of that. But I also think that there are weak people in this world. If there weren’t “survival of the fittest” would not exist. Doesn’t mean you can’t change your situation or station in life. But some people are perpetual victims in life as well. I’m not saying this is Angie.

By SlimOne

May 9, 2008 12:58 PM | Link to this

4 Real Thanks for taking that smedium t-shirt back. In celebration of the upcoming holiday, I take my “Yo mama” back too. Now come on over here so i can give you a love wedgie.

Overly excited about making up, Slim mistakenly Riiiiippppp’s For Real’s tighty whitey’s completely off…the takes torn fabric and makes a surrender flag out of it

By Kym

May 9, 2008 12:59 PM | Link to this

Truth Peace can never be obtained by force or war. The illusion of peace can be obtained but true peace..no.

By Wise Diva

May 9, 2008 1:02 PM | Link to this

oh settle down, it wasn’t meant to be accusatory, I meant that rhetorically. How does ANY one really sit in judgment without knowing what it’s like to walk in another woman’s Loubuotins? We aren’t all built the same, and it is EASY to sit and say “if it were me” no way in hell, blah blah. Life has a funny way of checking people. You don’t know for sure what you would do until you are knee deep in it.

You know you are free to comment like you always do, and we can argue/debate an opposing point or different perspective, it’s kind of why we are here.

By Angie

May 9, 2008 1:04 PM | Link to this

ARed ok, let me let you in on this long boring story of why i’m here. the only problem in our relationship was our communication. since it was weak, i didn’t know really what was in his head at times. now what was strong, was my trust i had in him. because i didn’t ask where he was going, snooped through his cell phone, go through his truck, check all his pockets in his pants and jackets, questioned him about coming home late, get mad at him for working overtime, come home early to check on him, crack open his private e-mail, put spyware on the computer, etc. i think that’s why he cheated so much. i made it easy for him. i was a busy mom/girlfriend. i took care of a beautiful home, kids, job, and him. i didn’t know he was cheating until May ‘04. i left in July ‘04. one night i just got this feeling in my stomach and threw up in my private bathroom. i went to him and asked for his phone. we argued and fought for an hour. he finally threw the phone at me. after dissecting it for 3 days and calling all of the women in his phone, what my stomach had told me was true. i wanted to stay, but it got worse as time went on. more and more women popped up. my cousin, Michael, told me to break into his yahoo e-mail. i did and found all kinds of nasty pics. he was sending his dyck to females and they were sending a pic of their vagina to him. i have about 50 pages of his infidelity. the judge has all of this. that’s why she granted me a huge child support payment and an ok to leave the state. we tried to get together that xmas, but i caught him again. i broke into another e-mail he had. the same shyt! that’s when i asked my boss to help me move here. to get me back, he married stacey. one of the homewreckers. he’s cheating on her now. he will never change. i feel sorry for him. so yea, i’m a survivor.

By Come now

May 9, 2008 1:06 PM | Link to this

The masses fell into slavery witout much fight at all.…I totally disagree with you on this, and honestly don’t have time to go back and forth with you on this one. Like Blow said, sometimes we simply need to pick our battles; henceforth, I’m going to let you have this one, but…when I worked at the pen, explains your mentality and I now understand where your coming from. And, no I am not knocking you for working in the pen, I simply ‘get it’ on how some men who work in the system (read: jail house) think.

By Angie

May 9, 2008 1:10 PM | Link to this

Thanks wise, blow and tazzee from yesterday!

By KP (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

May 9, 2008 1:11 PM | Link to this

Wise Diva, well said. It’s very easy to assess and navigate storms when you ARE NOT in the middle of them. In the midst of relationships, love, sex, loneliness, guilt and affection all play a part in why people do not make the best decision for themselves.

If the pain to change is perceived as greater than the pain a person is in, then that person will remain in their current pain. However, if the pain to change is perceived as less than the pain a person is currently in, then a person will make a change in their life.

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 1:12 PM | Link to this

We aren’t all built the same, and it is EASY to sit and say “if it were me” no way in hell, blah blah.

Yeah, but that’s not what I was saying so yup, we can drop it.

And Angie. He cheated so much because he was a jerk that didn’t appreciate you. Period. Trust is supposed to be there in a relationship. He took advantage. He sucks!

Just my opinion of course. LOL

By Raqi

May 9, 2008 1:13 PM | Link to this

How in the heck you just gon say Louboutin???

Maaaannn…how…maaannn

Oh Lawd…you done went and…

Christian, I know it’s been a while but I promised The Man.

By Jewel

May 9, 2008 1:13 PM | Link to this

Raqi Thanks for the advice. You are absolutely correct. Yes, I also got the “I am a grown man” remark. And, I told him that I prefer not to be around when he drinks. The difference between your situation and mine is that he and I are not married and do not live under the same roof. So, I can choose to physically stay away from him. This too aggravates him.

Also, during tender moments, he admits that it is a concern. He also told me how he started drinking. His father would give him a “taste” when he was young…

By Poppa Grande

May 9, 2008 1:14 PM | Link to this

Truth That was the most irresponsible diatribe that i’ve heard in a long time. Slaves fought back constantly. Although American School system teaches very little black history, it is out there. Look up guys by the name of Gabriel Prosser,Denmark Vesey, and most people have heard of Nat Turner. These are just a few of the revolts that occurs and slaveowner did fear us. That’s a big reason why the didn’t want us to read: to control information that was available.

BTW, you would have like Harriett Tubman. She carried a shotgot with her on the Underground Railroad. She would use it on the men and women that got scared and tried to change their minds about leaving. Once you started on the trail, you had to go. She wasn’t risking a mole being there to tell others where the trail was.

As far as the topic goes, 80-20 rule is simplistic but works for some people. Like Raqi, I ruled out most of things that were out the potential’s control such as height.

I feel that some people are just afraid of success. What would happen if you gave a potential mate a chance? You just might have to be in a relationship. Some people subconsciously fear what they don’t know, and use the other person’s flaws as an excuse to get back to their comfort level.

By Sunshine & Rain

May 9, 2008 1:15 PM | Link to this

Yes Angie you are a SURVIVOR I have several friends who are in “same sex” relationships they say that’s why they are with women cause their Men did them wrong. That ain’t no excuse they just wanna be with women.

By shell

May 9, 2008 1:18 PM | Link to this

Angie, girl you don’t have to explain your story to know one. That’s your journey. I was in an abusive marriage, me the person who grew up in an abusive household and told myself I never end up in one. I even started to believe I was better than my mother and blamed because she stayed so long. I got out with two children, but I would never tell another women ‘you a fool for staying , if I left you can,too’. I didn’t see it at the time, but my mother was doing what she thought was best for her family. She was a high school drop out with four small kids, working part-time, and making minimum wage. Today, I understand why she pushed me so hard to go to college. So, unlike my mother I was able to leave because I had my own financial security. But like the old folks say, keep on living and see what life does to you.

By Come Now

May 9, 2008 1:23 PM | Link to this

Happy Mother’s Day to all the STRONG mammas of the blog….everyone please have a safe and wonderful weekend!

Nite…

By Angie

May 9, 2008 1:24 PM | Link to this

Sunshine & Rain i wish i was bi, but i love $%^& too much. i can see how a relationship with another women would be an advantage.

kp red it is! don’t forget to have it on and fastened when you visit next time.

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 9, 2008 1:24 PM | Link to this

Ared You are retarded…officially! lmao!

But next time, I guess I should just change my blog name and post stuff like that instead. LOL

You are funny as hell I am really LAUGHING!!!

By Raqi

May 9, 2008 1:25 PM | Link to this

Angie from one woman who knows a struggle to another…you don’t have to explain yourself or the choices and/or mistakes you made in life to any one.

Look at like this, the longer you knead dough the tougher it gets. Some of us are meant to be biscuits and some of us hard-do. But guess what the both serve the same purpose…

By Wise Diva

May 9, 2008 1:26 PM | Link to this

oh come on, weren’t you on the debate team in HS? LOL. I like it when people can actually back up their assertions with something other than because it’s MY opinion or cop out with let’s agree to disagree, LOL. NO fun!

By SOULglo

May 9, 2008 1:26 PM | Link to this

I’ve been in an abusive relationship as well…not physically, but verbal and emotional abuse is just as bad. As women we have to KNOW OUR OWN WORTH AND LOVE OURSELVES FIRST before we can allow a man to enter our lives and tear down that which we have worked so hard to build up.

MEN ONLY DO WHAT WE ALLOW THEM TO! If you don’t want to deal with the disrespect, cheating, excessive smoking and drinking, etc. then YOU have to get away from the relationship!

By SOULglo

May 9, 2008 1:29 PM | Link to this

I’ve been in an abusive relationship as well…not physically, but verbal and emotional abuse is just as bad. As women we have to KNOW OUR OWN WORTH AND LOVE OURSELVES FIRST before we can allow a man to enter our lives and tear down that which we have worked so hard to build up. I knew that I couldn’t deal with that for too long, so he got kicked to the curb. My mistake was ever allowing it to happen.

Ladies, we’ve got to be able to admit when we allow ourselves to get into crazy situations and be able to say, I was wrong for that. It’s not always the man’s fault because…..

MEN ONLY DO WHAT WE ALLOW THEM TO! If you don’t want to deal with the disrespect, cheating, excessive smoking and drinking, etc. then YOU have to get away from the relationship!

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 9, 2008 1:32 PM | Link to this

Darrell Shuddup! Yes we did. lmao! I heard SOUL GLO

By SOULglo

May 9, 2008 1:32 PM | Link to this

I’ve been in an abusive relationship as well…not physically, but verbal and emotional abuse is just as bad. As women we have to KNOW OUR OWN WORTH AND LOVE OURSELVES FIRST before we can allow a man to enter our lives and tear down that which we have worked so hard to build up. I knew that I couldn’t deal with that for too long, so he got kicked to the curb. My mistake was ever allowing it to happen.

Ladies, we’ve got to be able to admit when we allow ourselves to get into crazy situations and be able to say, I was wrong for that. It’s not always the man’s fault because…..

MEN ONLY DO WHAT WE ALLOW THEM TO! If you don’t want to deal with the disrespect, cheating, excessive smoking and drinking, etc. then YOU have to get away from the relationship!

By Lady J

May 9, 2008 1:32 PM | Link to this

SOULglo GREAT POST!!!

By The Truth

May 9, 2008 1:33 PM | Link to this

Kym your statement should actually read “peace can never be obtained”. Nature is violent “by its nature”. There has never, nor will there ever be a day with peace on this earth. Someone will get killed, raped, robbed, stabbed, and whatever else you can imagine.

Come working in the pen was only a part my history. Not the defining moment. And we walked into slavery without much fight at all. Actually our own kings sold most of the original slaves. Only later did they cut out the kings and steal slaves directly. While there was minor skirmishes, there was never a need for army intervention because for the most part we didn’t fight back. I say again, a man that won’t fight for himself won’t fight for his family. Any of you ladies know a whole lot of cats fighting to keep his fam together? I didn’t think so. Nothings changed.

Poppa you’re talking about isolated incidents. Show me the mass rebellion in history. There wasn’t one. Never a need to mount an army like they did the indians. Hmmmm

Blow your response was a weak knee jerk reaction to protect your inner weaknesses. How can you say I should never use violence against you but you’d use it against me? Listen, there are actually valid reasons i’d kill my own mother. I don’t go with that turn a cheek shyt. Every dude that has turned a cheek has died doing so. I say define your enemies and act accordingly. If I determine you are my enemy you will be dealt with. Period.

By Sunshine & Rain

May 9, 2008 1:35 PM | Link to this

Trust Angie i love %$#@! too much also to ever want to be with another female.

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 1:35 PM | Link to this

oh come on, weren’t you on the debate team in HS? LOL. I like it when people can actually back up their assertions with something other than because it’s MY opinion or cop out with let’s agree to disagree, LOL. NO fun!

LOL. Wise, I like to debate things I would jump on the sword for to defend. I mean, do you really think I’d disagree with any of your sentiments? So why debate when ultimately, I’m on your side. As usual on here, it dovetailed into a deeper issue.

By THE FILTHY VILLIANOUS DK

May 9, 2008 1:38 PM | Link to this

PSA If ya married you cant talk about Pimpin Period.. Your Player card was turned in for a honey do list.. You aint no PIMP you a car thief..

By Angie

May 9, 2008 1:41 PM | Link to this

Sunshine & Rain don’t get me wrong, i’ve thought about it!

sup 6’1? lol.

By Come now

May 9, 2008 1:41 PM | Link to this

WD, I really meant that I did not have the time, I have to leave the office, however, if I wasn’t leaving, I would have love to debate with Truth…actually, a group of us will all be out at Barnacles Stonecrest debating well into the evening, your more than welcome to come and join us!

By I am Legend

May 9, 2008 1:41 PM | Link to this

WHAT IT DEW…get your houston flavor on with this tight screwed and chopped r & b playlist…nowwantiamtalknbout..

http://www.imeem.com/people/Ti2eCM7/playlist/cKKrxpr/choppedslowjamsmusic_playlist/

By Kym

May 9, 2008 1:46 PM | Link to this

Truth Of course peace is obtainable..but truth peace starts from within and works outward.. Outflow determines inflow.

By THE FILTHY VILLIANOUS DK

May 9, 2008 1:46 PM | Link to this

Truth Its a two way street to keep a FAM together.. Youre not married right.. Well I dont think youre qualified to even speak on marriage especially if you havent been in the trenches..

By SeanJohnson3000

May 9, 2008 1:46 PM | Link to this

@ Truth…responding to your post about fighing back..but you are wrong dude..the ocean if full of black men who fought back…and black men that were killed when they resisted….we fought back when we were seperated from family on boats and in slave camps…but the battle we lost was pyschological…imagine taking the biggest strongest dude in the click and beating him within an inch of his life in front of every one to see…or a mother being seperated from her kids and husband..our seperation is deep rooted…imagine your wife and queen being taking from you ever nite and raped and forced to do acts with a slave owner …would you look at her the same and still love her? think on that..thats real….I use to think like you and thought MLK was on the soft side…but it takes a very strong person to turn the other cheek..something i never did or will ever be strong enough to do..i see your point in your 12:44 post…i am more on Nat Turner level…we fought…but you have to understand the choices and sacrifices they had to make and choose accordingly.

By Wise Diva

May 9, 2008 1:46 PM | Link to this

hmm Ambiguous, thy name is AmazonRed.

You didn’t come out the womb “strong”, you had certain circumstances, family, experiences, support, education, awareness…and the list goes on, ALL things that makes you you. It seemed odd to me that you can say without a doubt, who is weak/strong (well, that’s how I was interpreting you). I was only saying, everyone didn’t have what you had in life, experiences, etc. so really, how pointless is it to apply your timeline for their life when they are not you, and you are not them. It does not compute to me, and I was hoping to see you make it plain, not so much to change my mind, but to see if you had a different perspective from mine that I could see.

ok, I have to have the last word, because I am a cancer chick and I can’t help it (you know you want to respond now!)

By Cemeeli

May 9, 2008 1:47 PM | Link to this

mytwocents are you serious. I am a number lover!!! and please try agian w/that post.

Kym i’ve have only gotten to the enjoy simple pleasure look at it and write/mental note of what you feel about it.

lovelyliz okay i see it was that his character is that detrimental you right,…KIM (keepitmovin’)…& do you ma.

kinderbabymamma um…we gonna make sure you have a greeeaaatt big ole Baby Shower! <—-i love AND go all out for them. sa shame how weak i am in a store

By Alpha Male

May 9, 2008 1:48 PM | Link to this

Reading through some of these comments makes me depressed. Whatever happened to love…we live in a selfish society where we are expecting to receieve more than we are willing to give. I think it should be easier to understand why most guys do not push for marriage. The odds of succeeding in marriage are insurmountable given the times we live in now.

By Raqi

May 9, 2008 1:48 PM | Link to this

Okay I usually avoid these types of conversations because it just ain’t my cup of tea. And I repeat “The only thing soft I want clinging to my naked body is 1500ct. Egyptian cotton linen or Spa-Tex lush towels”.

But Angie since I promised to show you respect and comment on your post let me ask, not necessarily to you, what I asked my husband’s cousin…

Where you going to turn when a woman does you wrong?

By Alpha Male

May 9, 2008 1:49 PM | Link to this

Reading through some of these comments makes me feel depressed. Whatever happened to love…we live in a selfish society where we are expecting to receive more than we are willing to give. I think it should be easier to understand why most guys do not push for marriage. The odds of succeeding in marriage are insurmountable given the times we live in now.

By Wise Diva

May 9, 2008 1:49 PM | Link to this

oh Come ON, sorry, I was directing my comment to Amazon, but didn’t put her name. I am about to run out for sushi real quick but first, I have this theory about people who like to judge others harshly. I think they are actually projecting their own insecurities. They may look at a situation/another person and see a part of themselves that they don’t like. So they are actually reacting to their own fears. They tend to judge themselves even worse….but let me leave the armchair psychology alone :)

Be back shortly!

By Alpha Male

May 9, 2008 1:49 PM | Link to this

Reading through some of these comments makes me feel depressed. Whatever happened to love…we live in a selfish society where we are expecting to receive more than we are willing to give. I think it should now be easier to understand why most guys do not push for marriage. The odds of succeeding in marriage are insurmountable given the times we live in now.

By Alpha Male

May 9, 2008 1:49 PM | Link to this

Reading through some of these comments makes me feel depressed. Whatever happened to love…we live in a selfish society where we are expecting to receive more than we are willing to give. I think it should now be easier to understand why most guys do not push for marriage. The odds of succeeding in marriage are insurmountable given the time we live in now.

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 1:51 PM | Link to this

Shuddup! Yes we did. lmao! I heard SOUL GLO

I mean Blow, I “heard” Soul Glo too but who are these women on here that are talking about there are no good men? That’s not a prevailing blog sentiment expressed by the ladies who post on here. So where are they getting this from?

By Lady J

May 9, 2008 1:52 PM | Link to this

CeeCee you are a freeking fool!!! Where we going to register @ lol!!!

By Angie

May 9, 2008 1:52 PM | Link to this

Alpha Male if you look a little harder, you will see a lot of women desiring to do just that … give love.

By Johnny Neptune

May 9, 2008 1:57 PM | Link to this

I didn’t realize the 80 – 20 rule applied to dating, I thought it only applied to pre-existing relationships (your partner has 80 percent of what you want and need in a relationship, and people will sometimes give up that 80 percent for the 20 percent that they don’t have in their relationship and when the dust settles, was it worth losing the 80 percent for the 20)

But nevertheless, people will try to mold and will a person into something that they’re not. If they don’t have it (certain qualities in a person that makes you happy) when you meet them, what makes you think it’ll magically appear after the fact.

By I am Legend

May 9, 2008 1:58 PM | Link to this

@kp…good blog…

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 9, 2008 1:58 PM | Link to this

Truth How old are you? Are u in your 20’s? You are irrational. Some of your comments are unethical. Somethings you should not say just to prove a point.

By Angie

May 9, 2008 2:03 PM | Link to this

Raqi for one, i wouldn’t be with a butch. i think the butch types act too much like men.

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 9, 2008 2:07 PM | Link to this

Ared Girl you should know by now the men on here have a BEAUTIFUL mind. Come on now! They read into it for thy own understand and not what we are REALLY saying.

By D'NLITEN1

May 9, 2008 2:08 PM | Link to this

LOOK LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WE HAVE TO GOT TO GET THESE DATING AND RELATIONSHIP ISSUES TOGETHER!!! POINT (APPLY LONGEST CUSSWORD YOU COULD THINK OF HERE LOL) BLANK!!! WE GO BACK AND FORTH WITH EACH OTHER TOO MUCH AND WE DO NOT ACCEPT THE OTHER SEXES’ PARADIGNS. WE MAY RESPECT ONE ANOTHER’S POINT OF VIEW, BUT WE HAVE GOT TO LEARN TO RESPECT IT TO WHERE REAL PROGRESS CAN BE MANIFESTED.WE HAVE WAY TOO MANY CRITIQUES AND NOT ENOUGH POSSIBLE S O L U T I O N S!!! WE HAVE GOT TO START MAKING THE FAMILY UNIT WITH BOTH PARENTS INVOLVED MORE OF AN INITIATIVE TO WHERE WE COULD PROVIDE BETTER EDUCATION FOR OUR CHILDREN, BETTER HEALTHCARE AND AID, AND TO ENSURE THAT WE ALL ARE IN A BETTER POSITION IN THE FUTURE. IF YOU DO NOT THINK THE COMMUNICATION GAP THAT WE POSSESS WITH EACH OTHER IS NOT ISOLATED FROM THE ILLS OF OUR SOCIETY, THEN YOU NEED TO STOP “AMY WINEHOUSE”-ING REHAB!! IT ALL TIES IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER!! FORGIVE ME FOR BEING FOR GOING SO IN DEPTH WITH THIS!! IN THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF CHAARRLAAY MUUUUUUURPPPHAAAY… WE HAVE GOTTA DO BETTA!!!*

By Cemeeli

May 9, 2008 2:09 PM | Link to this

LadyJ lol…gurl, Staples, OfficeDepot and Babies R Us. i’m on protest from Target’ kindermamma already know this.

Angie…look @ your moniker Beautiful. Look at it AND write/mental note some things that YOU can say are good/beautiful about yourself. Build from that. Again, Happy Mother’s Day enjoy your children and sounds like your starting to enjoy your life.

Kym That exercise is so far the best in the chapter’s i have read so far. Beautiful i suggest it a good read for you also. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle.

By Raqi

May 9, 2008 2:10 PM | Link to this

But Angie still, where or rather who are you going to turn to when a woman breaks your heart and spirit? Since this seems to be the most popular out these days for some who have been thru bad relationships.

By mytwocents

May 9, 2008 2:10 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli That’s why we cool. Fun to Cee, headache for me…you handle all things numerical, I’ll zip thru that book you sleepin on, provide a cheat sheet, Dr. Kym nem be none the wiser! And why you return my post to sender? Must rewind.

By Angie

May 9, 2008 2:13 PM | Link to this

raqi i didn’t answer your question. if i’m ever cheated on or disrespected in a future relationship, no problem. i know how to walk away and never look back. i don’t think no one can ever hurt my soul like he did though. i didn’t see that comin’. that’s why if it happens again … piece of cake.

By Tazzee

May 9, 2008 2:13 PM | Link to this

catching up

Wise what in the heck are Loubuotins? LOL

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 9, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this

ATTENTION ALL

WHO WANTS TO COME TO MY MICROBRAID TAKE OUT party? I still have not taken them out…I will this weekend. I need help….Drinks and rattails included.

By Raqi

May 9, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this

Ah, Tazzee Christian Louboutin!!!

By Poppa Grande

May 9, 2008 2:22 PM | Link to this

Truth You can’t say that there weren’t any, though. You are saying that there weren’t any to your satisfaction. Btw, Nat Turner’s was pretty big…big enough that even it was taught to me in High School. So, it was significant enough for that.

However to your point, communication ties were severed. ADd to that, in the beginning people were from different tribes and places in Africa. That means that they spoke different languages. Heck, families were scattered. How are they to organize. Word of mouth takes way to long. It would take months to get the word across that there was an revolt. Even if it was in a newspaper, most couldn’t read. There were significant obstacles in their way. They did what they could and you discount them for it. You act as if they could spread the word in a mass g-mail or a calling post. Most didn’t even know about the Emancipation Proclamation.

It pretty lazy to dismiss it without thinking it through.

By Tazzee

May 9, 2008 2:27 PM | Link to this

Raqi - yeah I had to google that. Never heard of those shoes before and looking at them, other than a pair for bedroom use only, I can see why, LOL. I would break my neck in some of those shoes!

By IslandGirl

May 9, 2008 2:27 PM | Link to this

Good Day Everyone

Happy Mothers Day to all the moms

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 2:29 PM | Link to this

I have this theory about people who like to judge others harshly. I think they are actually projecting their own insecurities.

WiseDiva - You can have the last word on the 1:46 because like I said, we’re not on different sides of the fence there. However, about this above…let’s clear this up.

If you were to watch Maury and there was a story of a man who cheated 30+ times and the girlfriend who sat next to him and said “let’s work this out, I wouldn’t leave you over just ONE woman.” You might go “Damn, that’s stupid!”

Angie has been very candid about her experiences and a lot of them are like “whoa” to me! It doesn’t mean she’s not a survivor or a work in progress. We all are, including me. However, do cringe at stories like Angie’s. I wonder why some of us women allow the blinders to be left on for so long. I do think that if women were stronger, we wouldn’t allow as much mistreatment as we do from men. And I wouldn’t classify my weak moments as moments of strength just because I’m not in them anymore. I’m not saying this from a “high horse” but more that I’m a cheerleader of women and want to see us not fall into these traps. Again, not saying I have never fallen into stupid traps before! (And also why I said I was proud of Angie for getting out). It’s also why I can’t watch shows like Maury or Flavor of Love and that foolishness because it’s just a perpetual cycle of disrespect towards women and many of us are CHOOSING to participate!

However, I use this blog for entertainment and sometimes react to these outlandish stories like it’s Maury instead of someone’s real life. I’m flippant like that sometimes. And I do need to remember and respect that these are folks real lifes and pain they share sometimes on here. For for that I apologize to Angie if it came off as being insensitive and self righteous.

By SeanJohnson3000

May 9, 2008 2:29 PM | Link to this

@ Blown….how you going to invite someone over to your Hood Ratatouille to take your braids out party and the game comes on tonite and you dont have cable?

By Angie

May 9, 2008 2:32 PM | Link to this

leaving early today. read y’all monday morning. from the bottom of my heart, you guys are appreciated! ;-)

By The Truth

May 9, 2008 2:32 PM | Link to this

DK I’ve been married. it wasn’t my cup of tea. But i decided that before I had a family. I’ve been in the trenches and didn’t see the magic.

Sj if you go out tonight and are forced to shoot someone please describe the person you’d most likely shoot. Exactly. We didn’t just land here. Our traits assisted us in our journey. There is no honor in turning a cheek and it doesn’t take strength. The strength comes from forcing your opponent to turn his. 300 years later and we’re still fighting for equality. Seems like we’re fighting the wrong fight. Maybe we’re just ineffective. Look at the jews, mexicans, vietnamese boat people (remember them), cubans, and everyone that has come to america after us and they’ve all established themselves and retained their culture. Why?

Blow in life question everything. What is the difference between a guy that steals half your loot at gun point and a wife that tries to take it through the courts? There is none, the result is the same. Why shouldn’t the response be?

Btw, life itself is unethical. get over it and move on.

Tazz Wise what in the heck are Loubuotins? LOL Thanks for asking for me.

Wise I was just wondering if you and I had a moment or 2 this week? Did I read that right? (The Truth puts his hands in his pockets, drops his head and kicks a rock, LOL)

Poppa your talking about the logistics, I’m talking about the spirit. A cat with spirit’s going to fight if he’s the only one that speaks his language. I thought it through. We were suspect. Btw, we had another opportunity to fight in the 60’s and passed on that too. While we may think we’re above violence our oppressors sure aren’t. We will not legislate equality. You must fight for it.

By KP (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

May 9, 2008 2:35 PM | Link to this

@SJ3000, LOL

By Raqi

May 9, 2008 2:36 PM | Link to this

LOL Tazzee not all of his shoes are bedroom entertainers. He has some stuff worthy of every day wear.

But yeah, some 4 inchers with a luxe lace corset…oh wait…that’s waaaay too much info. Sorry. LOL

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 9, 2008 2:39 PM | Link to this

SJ3000 Ok..ok…We can put Dave Chappelle on. Yall been hatin on me no one wants to give me the hook up. Those cable hook ups are hard to find. Oh yeah I forgot to hit my homie at the barbershop. You can get anything there. What game? lmao!! I guess no Dugans for me tonight. I dont’ stay in the hood. I stay in the Black Hampton’s thank you very much.

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 2:43 PM | Link to this

LOL. Blow and where exactly is the “Black Hamptons?”

By Blue_Kolla

May 9, 2008 2:44 PM | Link to this

Jewel My guy once told me that there is only one thing wrong with me: I talk too much. Now, coming from men, does that equate to 80%, or 20%?

Depends on what kind of talking, and how much you’re doing it.

Cee …slowing you down before you start askin’ your girls for the vaseline fo’ ya face; cuz ya boy Blue ain’t gettin’ physical with no female.

I don’t talk about peep’s mama’s. That’s grounds for the get-down. I was askin’ if all that mouth that your moms ran your pops off with, kept other brothers away as well.

Cee and Jewel See… a brother like me ain’t goin’ deal with no loud-mouthed broad, especially the type that wants to get up in a brother’s face. That’s disrespectful and will turn an otherwise “NICE” man into an “ICE” man.

By Blue_Kolla

May 9, 2008 2:44 PM | Link to this

Cee *I have to say she ran the house and ran my daddy right on out of there. Momma was a firecraker and she had bite and spitefire attitude could take it or leave it. Very smart, and domesticated woman.

…and single?

SeanJ TOO many of todays black females are riding off the skirt tails of true great women….i dont run across too many strong YOUNG women anymore…thats ready to help build together on something real…its about your self and wanting a man to add to what YOU already have..

Seems to me that you say STRONG in the sense of being a go-getta, but when I think of strong, I think of a woman’s inner strength and moral fiber. Many broads today simply ain’t got it. They’ll bend like a blade of grass on a windy day for $2.

By Poppa Grande

May 9, 2008 2:48 PM | Link to this

TruthLogistics is part of it. A very important part. A fight of one does nothing. You have fallen for the same ole trap. The Native Americans knew the land, and each other. There were many nations of Native Americans. Its not like they were all of one accord. In Georgia alone, You had the Cherokee in the north, the Muscogee nation in the middle (Columbus,, GA for example) and the south was the Seminole Nation. They didn’t work together all the time. That’s a major miscnception. Its not like they were all one big happy Native American group. They wanted to conquer as well.They were different Nations within themselves.

How do you know the spirit. Obviously, they had the spirit because revolts continued. I would argue what we’ve done more to hurt our spirits than anyone else did. Tom Joyner’s family is just one example of this. His Great Uncles were among the first blacks to be elected in the South (Columbia, SC)following the Civil War. However, jealousy amongst other blacks eventually led to their deaths by electrocution. (It was in Henry Louis Gates special).

I never said that we were above violence. However, I’ve said that you better be aware of the full consequences that would flow from it before jumping.

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 9, 2008 2:49 PM | Link to this

Ared Campcreek….Butner Rd. Stonewall Tell……Nah it’s where ever I am. Right now it’s LITHONIA..stoney crest.

By THE FILTHY VILLIANOUS DK

May 9, 2008 2:50 PM | Link to this

Truth OK.. Yeah I didnt see the magic either.. I support wildlife by staying single..

By shell

May 9, 2008 2:50 PM | Link to this

Louboutins are too beautiful to be kept in the bedroom.

By Wise Diva

May 9, 2008 2:54 PM | Link to this

oh geez, that’s what I get for debating with a blog sister, I TOTALLY missed The Truth channeling IKE TURNER. hmph.

Thanks AmazonRed for your thoughtful response/clarification. I see where you are coming from better now.

By Lady J

May 9, 2008 2:54 PM | Link to this

Peace out folks…Enjoy your weekend!!!

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 3:07 PM | Link to this

Thanks AmazonRed for your thoughtful response/clarification. I see where you are coming from better now.

Thanks for calling me to the carpet I guess Wise! We always say “lighten up” on here, but if you keep it too light, sometimes you’ll offend because you aren’t remembering these are real people. LOL Whoops!

But not only that, remember I’m a Sagittarius so the “harshness” is a way of life. LOL

So go on and get Truth now and where did you get sushi from? I’m getting some this weekend and I’m oh so excited about it. It’s my fave.

By felicia

May 9, 2008 3:07 PM | Link to this

lol at WiseDiva’s 1:46. CLASSIC!

By THE FILTHY VILLIANOUS DK

May 9, 2008 3:08 PM | Link to this

Truth But those nationalities were not made to be slaves.. Were just now starting to get the hump out of our backs due to the Innanet.. It levels the field a bit because you cant see the face youre dealing with and the knowledge that was being withheld isnt anymore.. See up until recently we were the most hated people in the country and the propaganda made everyone else hate us.. IE: The news shows blacks in a terrible light why I cut my locs because i got tired of seeing cats with dreads on the news looking ignorant. Then again we have been forced hate each other the house nogga and the field nogga.. Willie Lynch said it and it was true, however more of us need to read up from slavery and get a clear understanding of whats what.. But most of us dont read. All that is changing though because America is becoming a class system of have and have nots. The color green is going to be all that matters.. Just like white folk hate trailer park trash rednecks.. Blacks hate Noggas.. I mean I saw that girl cussing that old lady out on the marta train on youtube and I could have killed her… That burned me to no end..

By Cemeeli

May 9, 2008 3:10 PM | Link to this

Well Blue after realizing that she had that personality I gathered it was her mouth. I was later told by my dad; Cee Dad: Blackberry, you’re mom is a good woman we were good together. And he says: I was young and couldn’t get with your moms fiesty ways. No less i still love your mamma, that’s my baby. Now me hearing this as the child and a teenager at the time, made it worse. OKAY then Daddy, WHY are you two not together? I’on now baby we were both to bullheaded. Me: So you both lose

Blue She wasn’t the type that wore the ‘I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR’ t-shirt just very vocal. I’m the total opposite….quite peace & confidence in what i say and leave it alone…My daddy’s twin sister who died when i was little the family, says i have her spirit.

achem

…since it’s Friday and i had a great lunch and all…and i took my shoes and earrings off in ready position. I’ know you don’t hit ladies and all…just push abc on me and i’ll turn on the windmill…can’t let this energy go to waste.

mytwocents hold my tea! :-)

By Blue_Kolla

May 9, 2008 3:15 PM | Link to this

SeanJ …but the battle we lost was pyschological…imagine taking the biggest strongest dude in the click and beating him within an inch of his life in front of every one to see…or a mother being seperated from her kids and husband..our seperation is deep rooted…imagine your wife and queen being taking from you ever nite and raped and forced to do acts with a slave owner …would you look at her the same and still love her? think on that..thats real….I use to think like you and thought MLK was on the soft side…but it takes a very strong person to turn the other cheek..something i never did or will ever be strong enough to do..

I had to put that on Bold. You said some’n right there champ.

I think I got the V3 model of Lady J’s keyboard. Dayum

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 3:16 PM | Link to this

LOL @ Blackberry. How cute.

By felicia

May 9, 2008 3:17 PM | Link to this

oh, and ESPECIALLY the 1:49

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 9, 2008 3:19 PM | Link to this

.. I mean I saw that girl cussing that old lady out on the marta train on youtube and I could have killed her…

Dk You saw that…That was crazy and bizarre. And sad. And why did it take forever for someone to say something. Nothing about that was funny. It was ignorant, outrageous, embarassing and sad. I just hate where our ppl are going. It’s time to reach out. Her brain is fried..seriously.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=byOtxwl8iEI

By The Truth

May 9, 2008 3:26 PM | Link to this

Poppa what consequences could be worse than this? don’t get me wrong, on a personal note life has been cool but there’s better. Do you see how even today in Philly they’re still lynching dudes? It happens everyday on the news. This is what happens to people you don’t respect. We’ve settled but could be doing better. Btw, I saw that special. Self hatred is a bear. I was raised in Calif, they never talked about turning a cheek. They wanted to turn that barrel. In the end they all died tho.

Blow you live near 6’1 and eating it. She’s coming by tonight at 7 to get started on that head and i’ll be by at 8.

DK I just saw that a few minutes ago. That’s wild. Chicks gone wild. That one should have taken a good wuppin.

By Raqi

May 9, 2008 3:29 PM | Link to this

You know what I love this blog.

AmazonR I was just talking to my sister. She is coming down tomorrow and she and I are going to have brunch with the woman who was my mother’s closest and dearest friend. This lady only had one daughter and that daughter when at the young age of 18. After talking to my sis I remembered back to a few weeks before my mother passed she was telling about the women that had been in her bridge club for many years. These women were also fellow educators as my mother was.

Those were some strong black women. My mother revealed to us that her best was a mistress for over 20 years. One of the ladies in the group was a battered wife. There were a couple of adulterers. One a divorced mother of 4. And one was a lesbian. But in all of that they were great educators and mentors. I would have never known the background of those women had my mother not told it. But it didn’t change how I saw them. They were not perfect. No one is.

We never know what gives another person strength.

I know you all finished that convo. But I just wanted to add that after being reminded.

By QC

May 9, 2008 3:30 PM | Link to this

BK, you ain’t gave me know hello, wave, blog hug or nothing..wth

By Wise Diva

May 9, 2008 3:30 PM | Link to this

LOL @ Felicia, you must be catching up like I am, thank you :)

KB, thank you too re: 1:11

welcome Shell, Felicia, and all our new readers jumping in the lions den! LOL

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 9, 2008 3:34 PM | Link to this

Trtuth Women are built to please and pleasing is a submissive action Yep..I love to please ME! I submit to buying myself whatever I want and doing whatever makes me smile. LOL Oh and by the way…I love to work for my my own money because I know I owe no guy anything!

ARED “I don’t have a baby” shower Girl I am all for that! That means the gifts will all be FOR ME! LOL

Raqi you know the funny thing…the on going joke amonst my family and friends is that foreign men love me! LOL And I am attracted to foreign men as well. So they all say, “if he’s foreign..Staceye will love him”! The guy that had my heart was from Serbia & Montenegro. He went back to play pro B-Ball over there.

Angie Wow girl…that’s crazy. I hate that her name is Stacey!LOL

**Sorry Blow Me…I hate undoing braids. LOL

By Raqi

May 9, 2008 3:36 PM | Link to this

One of these days I am going to start proofreading before I hit post.

By Sunshine & Rain

May 9, 2008 3:36 PM | Link to this

Somebody need to give D’LIGHT a blog citation 4 that long a$$ post

By Blue_Kolla

May 9, 2008 3:37 PM | Link to this

Cee *I have to say she ran the house and ran my daddy right on out of there. Momma was a firecraker and she had bite and spitefire attitude could take it or leave it. Very smart, and domesticated woman.

…and single?

SeanJ TOO many of todays black females are riding off the skirt tails of true great women….i dont run across too many strong YOUNG women anymore…thats ready to help build together on something real…its about your self and wanting a man to add to what YOU already have..

Seems to me that you say STRONG in the sense of being a go-getta, but when I think of strong, I think of a woman’s inner strength and moral fiber. Many broads today simply ain’t got it. They’ll bend like a blade of grass on a windy day for $2.

By Wise Diva

May 9, 2008 3:39 PM | Link to this

oh Amazon, today, I hit up Amarin’s Thai Bowl and sushi, it’s closer and they are good too. My best sushi experience so far has been at MF Sushi, but I hear there are other places in Atlanta that top them. When I think of those spots, I will shoot you an email this weekend.

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 3:41 PM | Link to this

*But it didn’t change how I saw them. They were not perfect. No one is.

We never know what gives another person strength.*

And Raqi that’s great. As I’ve stated before my grandparents are still together 61 years later, but in the beginning of their marriage my grandfather was an alcoholic, a batterer and an adulturer.

My grandmother is THE strongest woman I know and it doesn’t change one thing that I feel about her. However, it doesn’t mean she wasn’t weak at the time.

Wise - Felicia isn’t new, she was my blog stalker from last week. Good to know she’s still watching! LOL

By shell

May 9, 2008 3:44 PM | Link to this

Thanks Wise Diva. I love this blog!!!

By totheMOMMAZ

May 9, 2008 3:45 PM | Link to this

Son2Mother
by Kevin Powell

Mother, have I told you That you are the first woman I ever fell in love with, that what I’ve always wanted in life is to hear You say you love me, too?

That is why, ma, it has taken Me so long to write this poem. For how could I, a Grown man, put words to paper If I am that little boy Cowering beneath the power of That slap, the swing of that belt, Or the slash and burn of that switch You used to beat me into fear and submission?

I constantly cringe, ma, When I think of that oft-repeated chorus you sung As a fusillade of blows walloped my skeleton body: Are you gonna be good? Are you gonna be good? Sometimes when I call you these days, mother, I just don’t know what to say, thus I fall silent, Even when you ask “How are you doing?” I want to give you real talk, Tell you that I am still that stunted only child Traumatized by the violence of your voice; That I am still that shorty too terrified to fall Asleep for fear of your pouncing on me The moment I shut my eyes- And you did, mother, again and again, Until I could no longer sleep peacefully As a child, and I have never actually had Many tranquil nights of sleep since. I lay awake sometimes, as an adult, Thinking someone is going to get me, Going to strike me, going to kill me Because of those heart-racing hours Of darkness far far ago.

And I remember that time I ran under Our bed, and in your titanic rage You tore the entire bed apart, The frame falling on one of my legs, And there I was, stuck, mother, And you ripped into me anyhow. And oh how I howled for mercy. But there was none, mother. Yet there was that chorus: Are you gonna be good? Are you gonna be good? And I really did not know, mother, what being good meant. Nor what you wanted me to be. Because one day I thought you loved me And the next day I thought you hated me.

And I did not know back in the day, ma, That you had been assaulted and abused The same way, by my granddaddy, Your father, a 19th century son of ex-slaves who would break you and your Three sisters and brother down with mule whips, With soda bottles, with his gnarled hands- That he was an embittered mister, That you were the child who became Most like your father. Do you not Recall that past, mother? I am saying you once chided me, After you learned I had struck someone as an adult, To keep my hands to myself, and I wanted to say But, ma, why didn’t you keep your hands to yourself? Why didn’t you command your hands, your arms, To hug me, instead of urging them to damage me?

And that is what I previously was, ma: damaged Goods that liked living on the other side of midnight. That is why, mother, there was no sleep for me till Brooklyn, Because I needed to escape the concrete box Needed to escape the mental terrorism Needed to escape you and that Paranoid schizophrenic existence. I am not crazy, ma. I know Our destinies were frozen in those days When we shared That bed and room together, Because we were too poor To afford a full apartment. To those days, mother, when I Thought you were the bravest Human being on earth as you Fought super-sized black rats with Your broomstick, or effortlessly Shooed the army of roaches away From our dinner table-

Maybe, ma, I have not been Able to write this poem Because I can envision you as a Young mother, the one who suitcased Her dreams when you left South Carolina, when you moved, first, to Miami To create a new life for yourself, to flee The world that murdered your Grandfather, a local cook, by stuffing food in his mouth, Then baptizing him in cracker water and proclaiming It was an accident. It was the world that knocked On your grandmother’s door and told Her she had to give up 397 of those 400 acres Of land called the Powell Property- One penny for each acre of land- And what your grandmother was left with Was a jar of soil called Shoe Hill, The contaminated hill where you were born, ma: That world never bothered to change the Name from the Powell Property. And there you Were, at age eight, sunrising with the moldy men And the wash-and-wear women As God’s yawn and morning stretch Tickled the rooster’s neck, Waking you good colored folks to toil on that Powell Property- To pick cotton for White folks as if being Cheap and exploited labor was your American birthright.

And you were angry bye and bye, mother. You would get so angry, Aunt Birdie told me One time, that sweat droplets would form on your nose, Your brow would curl up, and the world and Anyone in it would become your Empty lard can to kick back and forth up the road a piece. Ah, ma, but you were such a pretty little Black Girl-I have the picture right here this minute, Of you at 12 or 13, tender and dark ebony skin A beautiful yet temperamental and unloved Black girl Told that you were ugly, that you had ugly hair, That you would never be anything other than The help and wooden steps for someone else’s climb-

But you were persistent, ma, and mad determined To make something of yourself. And Jersey City Welcomed you as it welcomed each of The lost-found children of the Old South Welcomed y’all country cousins to Number runners slumlords Pimps drug dealers bad credit Huge debts and would-be Prophets who called themselves storefront preachers And there you were, mother, within a year, With my father-

Was he your first love, ma, did he mop The Carolina clay from your feet? Did he sprinkle sweet tea and lemon on your belly? Did he ever really make love to you, mother? Or was he more like that plantation robot Who was built to mate then make a quick Dash to the next slave quarters? What I do know, mother, is that you went to the hospital Alone, to spread your legs for A doctor whose plasma face you do not remember To push forth a seed you had attempted To destroy twice because you feared his Birth would mean the death of you. But there I was, ma, in your arms Screaming lunging fleeing And you were so tremendously ashamed To be an unwed mother that you did Not tell Grandma Lottie for five years, Until that day we showed up In your hometown of Ridgeland, South Carolina.

But what a mother you were: You taught me to talk Taught me to know my name Taught me to count to read to think To aspire to be something. You, my grade-school educated mother, Gave me my swagger- Told me I was going to be a lawyer or a doctor, Told me I was going to do big things, That I was going to have a better life Than this welfare this food stamp this government cheese Had pre-ordained for us. And we prayed, mother, yes lawd we prayed- To that God in the sky, to the White Jesus on our wall, To the minister with the good hair and the tailored suits, To the minister with the gift To chalk on busted souls and spit game in foreign tongues- And back then, ma, I did not understand the talking in tongues The need to pin pieces of prayer cloth on our attire The going to church twice a week The desperation to phone prayer hotlines when there was trouble. But what you were doing, ma, Was stapling our paper lives together as best you could Making a way out of no way Especially after my father announced, When I was eight, That he would not give “a near nickel” to us again. And he never did, mother, never-

And I sometimes wonder if that is when The attacks got worse because you were So viciously wounded By my father’s ignorance and brutality That that ignorance and brutality Was transferred to me As you would say, in one breath, Don’t be like your father And in another You just like your no-good daddy

And, yes, I am crying this second, mother, As I write this poem Because I see you today: A retired Black woman with a limp, a bad leg, Shuffling up and down three flights of stairs. Too headstrong to allow me to move You from that heat-less apartment, Life reduced to trips to the grocery store A bus ride to the mall A sacred pilgrimage to the laundry room And the daily ritual of judge shows, Oprah, and the local news.

And, mother, you remain without the love you forever Crave, and you forever speak of getting married one day. And you are so very worn out from Fifty-four years of back breaking work- But this I know now: Your life was sacrificed so that I could have one, ma.

So I write this poem, son to mother, to say I love you Even if you refuse to accept my words Because you are too afraid to defeat the devil And bury the past with our ancestors once and for all. I write this poem To say I forgive you for everything, mother- For the poverty for the violence for the hunger For the loneliness for the fear For the days when I blamed you for my absent father For the days when I wanted to run away For those days when I really did run away- I forgive you, ma, for those days you cursed And belittled me, for those days when you said I was never gonna make it. Oh, yes, ma, I do forgive, I forgive you for The beatings, I do, dear mother, I do- Because if it were not for all of who you are All of where you come from All of what you created for me I would not be alive today.

For below the bloody scar tissues of your fire and fury And aggravations and self-imposed house arrest Is a woman who defied the mythmakers Turned her nose up at the doomsayers- Is someone who fought landlords And crooked police officers and Social workers and school systems and Deadbeat men who wanted to live off of Her; and from the tar and feathered remains Of lives noosed from the very beginning, We have survived, and here we are, mother: You have never said you love me But I know every time I come home And you’ve made potato salad and stringbeans, Every year you’ve mailed me a birthday card Or asked if you should buy me pajamas for Christmas, I know that you are, In your own wildly unpredictable way, The greatest love I’ve ever had in my life-

JUST WOW!!!

By kinderbabe

May 9, 2008 3:46 PM | Link to this

cemeeli girl, you made me laugh when i went back and read “kinderbabymama” in your post lololol. that was funny.:)

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 3:46 PM | Link to this

Wise - I’ve heard such good things about MF Buckhead. Heard it was expensive too. Please forward those spots when you find them. Got me a sushi date this weekend and we’re always looking for spots that other folks have tried.

So glad there is good sushi in ATL!

By Wise Diva

May 9, 2008 3:48 PM | Link to this

LOL @ Sunshine & Rain, ok?! thank you, ya beat me to it.

Umm D’NLITEN1, all bold font is bearable,(well, sort of) but all caps is shouting. Please don’t e-shout, it’s not civil, LOL

and I am mad that I am sitting over really trying to think of the longest cuss word LOL

By felicia

May 9, 2008 3:50 PM | Link to this

**By AmazonRed

May 1, 2008 3:20 PM | Link to this

The hit dog always hollers. LOL**

girl u are too funny..

and thank you Wise.

By Raqi

May 9, 2008 3:50 PM | Link to this

Do you all think it would be selfish of me to ask to be left alone for Mother’s Day?

I have something I need to do and I would really like to be left alone to get it done.

By Poppa Grande

May 9, 2008 3:52 PM | Link to this

Truth It can always get worse. You have a gun and so what. It registered, so what. You are a military man. So you should know what technology this government has. Those in power won’t just hand it over because a few people talked loud and carried AK-47’s. If need be, the government can use whatever force necessary to preserve the “Union”. There are certain powers given to the President in times over emergency. What you are proposing is called a “Coup de tau” and that would be seen as an emergency.

What you see in Philly, NYC, and ATL (DeKalb Cops while bust a cap in you tail for looking in their direction) is one thing. Its bad, but it can be worse. However, real marshal law, and the Presidedent having increased power (even for a short time) is a another Jerry Springer show all together.

By Blue_Kolla

May 9, 2008 3:53 PM | Link to this

Blog .. I mean I saw that girl cussing that old lady out on the marta train on youtube and I could have killed her…

Naah, the real minuthafinucka on that train was all the other nikkas and nikkettes that didn’t stand up for that old lady. I would’ve been ready to take whateva there was to take from whoeva before I sit and watch an old lady get fugged with like that. Hell, I got a mova and I would hope that folks wouldn’t let no youngin’ terrorize her like that. …And why my boy email that clip to the news stations. That ain’t the last that we’re gon’ hear about this one.

QC Naah slim, get in the way-back machine and set it for this morning. See where I did a combo greeting, as I always do to you C’s.

Cee And there you go, he’s still pinin’ for and lovin’ moms; and for whatever reasons other broads just don’t qualify. Reminds me of my uncle after he got the Big D from his girl.

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 3:55 PM | Link to this

Uh felicia, WiseDiva said she was talking about me, so what are you talking about.

Glad that “hit dog hollering” remark made an impression on you tho. Keep on taking those notes girlfriend! ;-)

By The Truth

May 9, 2008 3:58 PM | Link to this

wise read my 232. Was it just me? LOL

Mommaz the first part of that book was nice. LMAO

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 9, 2008 4:00 PM | Link to this

Raqi Do you all think it would be selfish of me to ask to be left alone for Mother’s Day? NOPE! It’s your day..and if time alone away from the the family is what you want….it should be given. You know…this whole weekend is great movies on Lifetime for mom’s! Just a suggestion….

By Cemeeli

May 9, 2008 4:05 PM | Link to this

while sprinkling love over all the blog

kindermamma We gonna make sure your Shower is hooked up.

Okay for this mothers day you can get my lil man for a spell. If you wanna a son he’ll give you a gooood trial on what it’s like.

ARed not only i was called that, but three alltogether; Blackberry, Smokey and FrenchFry. I hated them all.

Blue your keyboard is having delayed reaction or sumthin’.

By Wise Diva

May 9, 2008 4:09 PM | Link to this

well..yes The Truth, maybe there was a glimmer of a moment or two (or maybe I was drunk blogging, again) but your sexist comments totally ruined it!

By For Real

May 9, 2008 4:10 PM | Link to this

Dayummmm yall have been at it. I can’t read all this ish but here goes:

By QC

May 9, 2008 4:11 PM | Link to this

BK you know i like my own honey

By Cemeeli

May 9, 2008 4:16 PM | Link to this

Blue actually other women qualified he just was caught up . I have 2 younger siblings. Get it?

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 4:16 PM | Link to this

Awwwww dayummm looks like Last Word and Braisin Opinion just made up. Ain’t that just like women, they wait until your wang gets hard enough to cut diamonds and then want to stop.

LMAO For Real. You know it took 3 times for you to say “Braisin Opinion” before I gathered you were talking bout me.

LOL. Good recap!

By I am Legend

May 9, 2008 4:17 PM | Link to this

@ared/diva…try the sushi house in buckhead..closet i have tasted to the real japanese sushi…feel me…place is small trendy and has good food!

By Wise Diva

May 9, 2008 4:17 PM | Link to this

LOL..For Real, ooo man, I can’t stand you, smacking For Real upside his noggin

By For Real

May 9, 2008 4:19 PM | Link to this

Where is the meet & greet tonight?

By The Truth

May 9, 2008 4:20 PM | Link to this

Poppa what is the one war that america couldn’t win? Vietnam. They had better weapons, intel, and yet they couldn’t shoot what they couldn’t find. And they had an opponent that wouldn’t stop. Half a million dead vs 50 thousand and they lost. America can’t turn weapons on itself, not nationally. A son would have to shoot his mother. Next time they have a million man march pick a million with guns and see what a day of chaos can do for your respect. Unity bruh, unity.

And they can’t jail a million dudes nor track them down. However, with dudes thinking like you we’ll just keep this low spot on the totem pole and call it home.

wise overlook today, I was blogging for effect. Trying to stir the soup. You felt that little blog connection too didn’t you? LMAO For a brief moment i forgot that we have had words and was feeling you.

*Staceye anytime I say that stuff you know I exclude you. I forgot the disclaimer. You know i’d never associate anything like feelings with you. LOL

By D'NLITEN1

May 9, 2008 4:20 PM | Link to this

LOL@S&R and the Diva: (in my eric kartman voice)screw you guyz for clowning on me lol jp! I did dat to grab ya attention dats all. it was all my opinion and I am stickin to it. as far as da citation I will pay it once we receive our reparations. you could keep da mule lol!

By AmazonRed

May 9, 2008 4:26 PM | Link to this

try the sushi house in buckhead..closet i have tasted to the real japanese sushi…feel me…place is small trendy and has good food!

Thanks Rell. Having never been to Japan tho, I probably would hate “real japanese sushi.” LOL. J/K. I’ll add it to my list.

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 9, 2008 4:30 PM | Link to this

For Real Who is my blog crush? I don’t have one anymore. lol

By Blue_Kolla

May 9, 2008 4:31 PM | Link to this

Hey QC ;)

Now… How you gon’ get brand new?

By mytwocents

May 9, 2008 4:34 PM | Link to this

Sipp…uhh holdin tea, Cee, but disavow all knowledge of intent. Harrassin a hurtin man? Now you know that ain’t right…

By Wise Diva

May 9, 2008 4:35 PM | Link to this

LOL @ D’NLITEN1, ai’ight den playa (said in my Chef voice). You know you had it coming though! What’s the longest cuss word you know? oh, wait, don’t answer that

The Truth, I’m a woman, I never forget (ha!), but I need to investigate further. You are an enigma, wrapped up in a contradiction, and topped with a sprinkle of misogyny, so keep posting, I will pin it down eventually. LOL

By Sunshine & Rain

May 9, 2008 4:37 PM | Link to this

D’Liten1 It p** me off ain’t nobody got time to read all that mess. U seem to be aight, just keep the posting under 100 words on fridays ok?!

S&R now searching for D’lite’s car so we can put a citation on the windshield, and leave a note

By Poppa Grande

May 9, 2008 4:40 PM | Link to this

Truth The gov’t has turned it guns on itself before….It was called the Civil War. They did it once, don’t think that they won’t do it again.

Vietnam (and for that matter the current fighting in Afghanistan), there is superior knowledge of the land that goes along with the spirit. Have you seen the underground tunnels that the Viet cong shot from? It was their way of leveling the playing field. They could see you but you had a hard time seeing them. There are hundreds (maybe thousands) of underground tunnels with openings just big enough for guns and other weapons.

We would not have the advantage here. Even in Afghanistan there are caves and such to deal with.

There is more to a fight than just having spirit, logistics does play a major role. Dubya and Cheney wanted to fight but didn’t totally think it through. (Or just didn’t care)

By QC

May 9, 2008 4:40 PM | Link to this

BK, thank you baby now i can leave the blog with a smile on my face, smooches

Have a great weekend bloggers…

By 6'1 & Luvin it (Dayuumit Man)

May 9, 2008 4:40 PM | Link to this

Sunshine & Rain i wish i was bi, but i love $%^& too much. i can see how a relationship with another women would be an advantage. WHATEVER BOOTIFUL!

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 9, 2008 4:49 PM | Link to this

Wise Diva I am glad someone finally sees the light. That boy got problems. If he ever get a hold of them he could possibly be a decent guy.

By D'NLITEN1

May 9, 2008 4:52 PM | Link to this

@Wise Diva: the longest one I know is M.. U(Or O)… T.. H.. A(or E)… I think you are astute enough to figure out the rest lol.

I rode on the MARTA once about 2 and a half years ago so my experience with it is minute. I was in shock at that video of the little girl cussing the old lady out. ONCEST AGIN In my Charlie Murphy voice… WE HAVE GOTS TO DO BETTA! KUDOS to the guy that stood up and told her that is an old lady she’s talking to like that.

By The Truth

May 9, 2008 4:53 PM | Link to this

Poppa the true definition of an a* wuppin is one that last for 300 years. Don’t wupp a cat, take away his will to ever fight again. We have no unity, purpose and nobody with the will to fight. Lets get comfie where we are.

Random and massive violence cannot be controlled or stopped. It’s any governing bodies worse nightmare. We all know that won’t happen tho, we can’t even run the Clayton School board.

Wise ok, our moment is over. What did you call me? LOL Have a great weekend.

By Cemeeli

May 9, 2008 4:54 PM | Link to this

ForReal get ta steppin’. Lol…you silly rabbit, you want some tea?

..Ya’ll be eazy…

If you’re MOM is living show her love ….if your Mom is deceased see her love in your dream.

Think i’ll ride on, Kanye West’s “Late Registration” and 2Pac’s “Dear Mama”.

Peace.

By Wise Diva

May 9, 2008 5:00 PM | Link to this

LOL @ Truth, see? it sucks when the moment is ended abruptly doesn’t it! You started it! said like a 4 year old

By Mike

May 9, 2008 5:01 PM | Link to this

Sorry to barge in, ladies, but a couple of observations. 1: The kind of man a woman with a long list wants, doesn’t want the kind of woman who makes long lists. 2: The strong, sensitive, committed, passionate men that modern “career” women want, don’t want modern career women. 3: Get the guy you want with the “PAL” rule — be “P”leasant, “A”vailable and “R”esponsive. Nobody wants to be auditioned, just accepted.

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 9, 2008 5:02 PM | Link to this

Have a great weekend everyone!

Truth I will be expecting you @ 8. Don’t forget the Coronas!

By Wise Diva

May 9, 2008 5:04 PM | Link to this

Thanks to everyone for a great week. It’s been fun!

If you are blessed to have your mother alive, please call her, go see her, tell her how much you love her.

Happy Mother’s Day

I hope you all have a fabulous weekend!

By Poppa Grande

May 9, 2008 5:07 PM | Link to this

Truth I’ve never said be comfy. Heck, I done the opposite. I get involved with the youth to change the attitude of apathy. Knowledge is power. The Viet Cong knew more about its homeland than we did. That’s where the logistics come into play. Sharing of knowledge for everyone to be on one accord. You can’t fight just to be fight. There must be a plan and it must be executed perfectly. Everyone must know the plan. One cat doing his own thing can make a plan unravel.

Silent doesn’t equate to weakness.

By sqanix zmbhjafq

November 13, 2008 7:29 AM | Link to this

gbye wofxmgn xbaeogiw dxiz nosjk xjwnh pwsnr

By sqanix zmbhjafq

November 13, 2008 7:30 AM | Link to this

gbye wofxmgn xbaeogiw dxiz nosjk xjwnh pwsnr