Misadventures in Atlanta

By SlimOne

May 20, 2008 8:26 AM | Link to this

Morning

This will be another male versus woman wrestling in a pool of baby oil fight i’m sure.

By Kym

May 20, 2008 8:35 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

How many of your relationships started after you slept with the person on the first or second date?

5 And I can truly say that I till this day have a decent relationship(no bitter feelings with all well minus one alley bat(but he is harmless) and my son’s father who is deceased.

How does sex change the dynamics of the dating “relationship”? Good and Bad? Depends…I will explain later

Is their a shift in power between the man and the woman after they seal the deal? Should there be?

Shift in the power?..This is sex not the United Nations.

What matters most: when you sleep with someone or why you sleep with someone? The why matters most. This is why I said it depends to your previous question. If you are having sex with someone to just get off..then there is no bad only the good feeling. If you are having sex with someone in hopes that they will gain some kind of emotional attachment to you then that is bad. But if you are as a unit committed to each other and expressing that committment through sex then that is great. So the why is wayyy more important than the when.

I will clarify this more as the day moves on

By Lady J

May 20, 2008 8:37 AM | Link to this

Morning All!! You so funny Slim!! LOL

Everyone are adults make you decision wisley and choose carefully and be responsible…J

By mp

May 20, 2008 8:38 AM | Link to this

God made our bodies to share with one…..and only one… every time you have sex with someone you are essentially having sex with everyone they have had sex with! a medical fact that is not stated often ( sorry condoms are not dependable ) so wait till you get married have glorious sex all your life and avoid all the emotional DRAMA and viruses.

if you can control yourself get saved and God will help you.

By Lady J

May 20, 2008 8:41 AM | Link to this

meant make your decisions…off to find a ice cold coke…lol

By Demi

May 20, 2008 8:49 AM | Link to this

Y’all remember that cute indian chick named, Gaavi?

Any way baby girl is now a DJ on the radio…I forgot the name of the Indian station she works for….And Storm says HI!!

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 20, 2008 8:53 AM | Link to this

Good Morning

Wow..This is going to be a good topic this morning. I can feel it right now.

I think it boils down to confidence. If you can maintain it through sex…you have nothing to worry about. Who ever gets the most sensitive or get the feeling of love euphoria…They will have the short hand. YOu have to maintain yourself and keep a level head after a romp in the sheets.

Women tend to get emotional afterwards….You do create a bond once you have sex with someone. I don’t care what no one has to say. Ties are created. But the ties can be null and void if the sex is awful!! lmao!!

I will be back for more just let me finish my coffee and GRITS!!

By AmazonRed

May 20, 2008 8:54 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone. I suspect the men will be vocal today!

What matters most: when you sleep with someone or why you sleep with someone?

Hmmm…it all matters. But here are the priorities (IMO!)

And let me add a 3rd, especially for the ladies…

By AmazonRed

May 20, 2008 8:59 AM | Link to this

LOL. This day has already started off great and seeing SlimOne’s post, next to Kym’s “alley bat” is just icing on the cake. Very funny ladies!

By Jesus Shuttleworths

May 20, 2008 9:01 AM | Link to this

@all my relationship started after sex…never before!!!!!

…oct 01…meet my wife at my bday party..she hated my guts…..talk down on me an erthing….i was acting an azz so she had some ammo…nov 2001…we meet up again at a dinner party hosted by the same friend….we go home that night…and the rest is history..she has been with me everyday since having sex that night!!!!!….

sex only matters when you make it a focal point of who and what you in a relationship…i do more talking/sharing..then sex in a relationship..hell on average most couples will have sex 3 or 4 times a week….the other days you talking/sharing etc…sex is a small portion of any union..but for some reason it is the major focus of women..like that is all they are..just the sex…and note ladies…every women i dated that said they did not do something or had all the hard line rules…where the first one to not stand on there rules and were dismissed after i flushed the condom!

By The Truth

May 20, 2008 9:07 AM | Link to this

Good morning blogsville.

MP get the fugg out of here with that god will save you bs. We’re real live human beings in here. Not puppets. If your god was really that all knowing he’d save you from being that stupid before 9 am.

On topic: Sex doesn’t make a relationship, it only enhances it. However, without it your really just friends. LOL

Slimmy come over here so I can slather you with this canola cooking oil. Hmmmmm

Ared great post. Come over here so I can slather you with canola cooking oil too. You and Slimmy are going to put on a wrestling exhibition this morning. Remember, go for the clothes.

Sorry, you guys said men against women. My bad. For some reason whenever someone says wrestling I automatically think girl/girl. I’ll work on that.

By Lady J

May 20, 2008 9:11 AM | Link to this

Truth lol too funny!!!

By AmazonRed

May 20, 2008 9:14 AM | Link to this

Sex doesn’t make a relationship, it only enhances it. However, without it your really just friends. LOL

Truth - Come here so I can thump you on the forehead. LOL.

and mp, you’re right. Don’t let grumps like Truth tell you otherwise. LOL. Easier said than done of course!

By GA Girl

May 20, 2008 9:14 AM | Link to this

AMEN AMAZON RED! I couldn’t have said it better!

By GA Girl

May 20, 2008 9:14 AM | Link to this

AMEN AMAZON RED! I couldn’t have said it better!

By Jesus Shuttleworths

May 20, 2008 9:20 AM | Link to this

GOOD NEWS LADIES….hova has spoken and so it will be in the streets..and he got usher to help as well!!!

http://allhiphop.com/stories/multimedia__music/archive/2008/05/20/19897997.aspx

By catch231

May 20, 2008 9:21 AM | Link to this

How about in the parking lot after a meal a IHOP.

By QC

May 20, 2008 9:21 AM | Link to this

Morning everyone, have a great day!

By Foots

May 20, 2008 9:21 AM | Link to this

Good morning! This is a timely topic, I was just thinking about it this morning.

Is there a shift in power between the man and the woman after they seal the deal? Should there be?

Whoever has the power is the person with the less involved feelings, man or woman. It’s like the chain is only as strong as the weakest link. If the dude is nonchalant before the sex, he has the power to determine how the relationship goes. But if she delivers a Love TKO to the point where he can’t remember his own dayum name, things shift a little in her favor.

What matters most: when you sleep with someone or why you sleep with someone?

Both are important, but I vote for the “why” as the most important. As long as the answer to the “why” is “Because I’ve considered this and it’s what I want to do”, there shouldn’t be any regrets. If you find out later that you made a bad decision, it’s easier to move past it and forgive yourself if it’s a decision that you made from the information you had at the time rather than one you were talked into. It makes you more responsible for your own decisions.

The “when” answer is always a hard one and is so dependent upon the situation. Rules for waiting don’t determine your outcome, but they do give you a chance to get to know more about the person you’re about to tie yourself to. After another week or month has passed, you might decide that it wouldn’t even be worth it to go there. You might discover some crazy tendencies that were hidden for the first few dates. The background check might come back with a few blemishes and black eyes. You never know.

By Binford2K8

May 20, 2008 9:25 AM | Link to this

This may come as a surprise, but I’d rather wait as long as humanly possible before engaging in carnal relations.

At this point of my life, I want a companion who I truly enjoy as a friend and with whom we have a great time without the physical pleasure..

When I meet a girl who wants the physical inside a month, I get turned off. It’s not that I don’t want sex or don’t find the girl attractive - it’s just that the more I am in to her mentally, the better the physical component will be.

Frankly, sex is the easier part in a relationship anyhow. It feels good - me likey! But I don’t want to be blinded by pleasure to whether I like the person for who they truly are. How I feel outside of the bedroom (or any other place we fornicate) is more important than in the bedroom most of the time.

I’ll turn in my man-card now…

By SlimOne

May 20, 2008 9:27 AM | Link to this

ARed Maybe I should’ve said KY Jelly instead of baby oil…lol

Truthy Canola oil ain’t happening. Now if you would’ve said Extra Virgin Olive Oil then we might’ve been able to work something out. And you going off on folk already. LMAO@If your god was really that all knowing he’d save you from being that stupid before 9 am. Wooooooow

Wise Please don’t look here until after 12

Slim whispering to all of blogsville with a MEga Megaphone I knew Flav was going to pick Thing 1…I was hoping I’d get to see him slap the Klingon looking chick in the Forehead at the first elimination tho, but no such luck. And I wonder if Thing 1’s gold gril came in 4 pieces….two separate ones for the top teeth and two separate ones for the bottom. lol

Mr. Buttersworth I don’t think sex is a huge focus point for women as it is for men. You have to remember that the dynamic changes when you’re IN a relationship as opposed to just dating random folk. IN a relationship, sex of course isn’t going to be the MAIN part because those other days of the week you ain’t fuggin are shared experiencing daily life together. However, OUTSIDE of a r’ship i think sex is more of an issue cuz dating most often starts with physical attraction…unless of course its a situation where you were just friends with a particular person then you find yourself wondering how low that one bead of sweat will travel while your guy friend is helping you clean out your gutters on a hot steamy summer day with not a cloud in the sky or a breeze of wind blowing…..okay, i think i just got off on a tangent.

….Okay i’m back. Where was I?…Awww forgettaboutit (said in my terrible Italian accent)

By Jesus Shuttleworths

May 20, 2008 9:30 AM | Link to this

@Binfold…keep it brother…..i cosign your post brother….at times in my life if i thought with my big head instead of my lil head i would not have been in half the drama i created just by having sex!!!…so that is the proper outlook to have…at the end of the day, protecting your seed should be your number one priority!!!

By Alberto D

May 20, 2008 9:30 AM | Link to this

Intimacy (Sex) is reserved for a man and woman in the context of marriage. Period.

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 20, 2008 9:31 AM | Link to this

ARED You are one cool chick!! I like your swag mommmas! I dont’ care what anyone else says you are cool to me! I really do like you. At first I did not but then I really started reading your post and started to appreciate them…..HI-5 and a BENTLEY co sign on your 8:54am!

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 20, 2008 9:38 AM | Link to this

Rell I kind of like that song. I think USHER got another hot album on his hands. I know I loved confessions

By Jesus Shuttleworths

May 20, 2008 9:41 AM | Link to this

@slim…butterworths huh…lol

@diva…this is what i am playing right now to get in my zone to blogging on this subject!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Cww7q5RiMUQ

By SlimOne

May 20, 2008 9:48 AM | Link to this

Mr Buttersworth Yep! It was either that or Hay-seuss lol

Alberto Vo5 Are you married?

By AmazonRed

May 20, 2008 9:48 AM | Link to this

Slim - I would have been down with Extra Virgin Olive Oil too. LOL

Thanks for the shout outs Truth, GA Girl and Blow Me.

By the way, point 3 was not all derived on my own. Read that in that “Why Men Love B!tches” book and it stuck. Of course I paraphrased a bit, but the overall sentiment is the same.

By Foots

May 20, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this

Blow But the ties can be null and void if the sex is awful!!

Ain’t that the truth! The strength of the emotional bond created in some cases can be directly proportional to how good the sex is. I can burn tracks like Road Runner if it’s bad AND he trippin. Dude that’s lacking better be nice, or else the first wrong thing he says will make me shout “Andele, Andele!” and be out this camp like Speedy Gonzales.

By Foots

May 20, 2008 9:56 AM | Link to this

Speaking of Usher… I love that “Dot Com” song. I heard it for the first time a few weeks ago, and I had to download that immediately. It’s not new and it’s kinda cheesy, but I can’t get enough of it.

By AmazonRed

May 20, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this

This may come as a surprise, but I’d rather wait as long as humanly possible before engaging in carnal relations.

keep it brother…..i cosign your post brother….at times in my life if i thought with my big head instead of my lil head i would not have been in half the drama i created just by having sex!!!…so that is the proper outlook to have

Soo…Binford, Rell…does this mean that you would both consider waiting til marriage for sex? (I know this is N/A for Rell).

At the very least, would you concede that a relationship could most certainly begin BEFORE you had sex?

Enquiring minds!!!

By Binford2K8

May 20, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this

Alberto D

In a perfect world your statement sounds reasonable I suppose. But half of marriages don’t work - so why is that so sacred?

I’ve seen plenty of young people who were blinded by the “nookie goggles” (similar to beer goggles). They fought there urges and stayed abstinent until marriage. The problem was: after they got married and had sex, they realized - they didn’t like the person they were with a whole lot.

When your hormones do the thinking, it’s a problem. Married or not.

By Binford2K8

May 20, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

ARed

I would CONSIDER waiting, but it would be real tough. The longest I could see lasting is about 6 months.

The concern is - what if that person is a complete dud in bed and I married them. While what I said in my previous post is true, I don’t want someone who doesn’t enjoy sex (regularly), isn’t good at sex (and doesn’t have a good attitude towards sex). That would be a deal-breaker.

That is why I’d like to wait for a while, but not until marriage.

By Foots

May 20, 2008 10:24 AM | Link to this

Binford In a perfect world your statement sounds reasonable I suppose. But half of marriages don’t work - so why is that so sacred?

If we were really following “The Plan”, people would also stay married until death do they part. And also according to plan, if you died, your wife was alone and you had a brother, if your brother wanted your widow, she’d go to him and become his wife. We’ve messed it all up with all of the disjointed families, single-parent homes, unwanted pregancies, etc, by putting our human spin on what sex and marriage should be. Humans have been messing up The Plan since there were only two people on Earth.

So basically, is waiting until we are married for sex and staying married for life something that we should aspire to? No doubt about it. Given the history of humans since Adam and Eve, is it something that most of us can realistically do? Not really.

By Sxzscorpia

May 20, 2008 10:24 AM | Link to this

I think this is one of the many reasons that I am still single- I refuse to have casual, meaningless, “do it because we’re bored right now” sex. Men these days truly seem to expect to get the draws like the first month they meet U- THAT IS RIDICULOUS. I refuse to share something so special with someone that quickly! No I’m not a virgin, but the people I have been with, have been boyfriends- in long term relationships with me. If folks can’t respect that, so be it, I’ll stay single, and safe.

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 20, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this

Binford The thing about a woman you can ALWAYS teach her what she can do. So you are not at a complete lost. But you can get the feel of how they feel about sex during the 6mths you wait. I am sure the conversation on sex will definitely come up. You can figure out alot just by communicating.

So Binford now you want to RECANT your statement. Like you said it’s just that the more I am in to her mentally, the better the physical component will be

Exactly…if you follow that. You will get to learn everything you need to know.

By Sxzscorpia

May 20, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this

I think this is one of the many reasons that I am still single- I refuse to have casual, meaningless, “do it because we’re bored right now” sex. Men these days truly seem to expect to get the draws like the first month they meet U- THAT IS RIDICULOUS. I refuse to share something so special with someone that quickly! No I’m not a virgin, but the people I have been with, have been boyfriends- in long term relationships with me. If folks can’t respect that, so be it, I’ll stay single, and safe.

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 20, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this

Good Morning all…

Binford At this point of my life, I want a companion who I truly enjoy as a friend and with whom we have a great time without the physical pleasure I so agree with you. But of course you go the horndogs that won’t let up. It’s why if I do hang out wiht a guy..it is only in public. I do not want him thinking because we are alone at his crib or mine..that it is a free for all. I get so turned off by a guy who can’t control himself. Be a smart man..not every woman wants to hand out azz like a pamphlet! I would like a guy to know me and liek me for who I am and not what I look like and how much he wants to hit it doggy style!

Foots are you pole dancing to the song now? LOL

The longest I could see lasting is about 6 months I would love to wait 6 months before having sex. By then we would know a lot more about that person and would be more clear as to what the real reason for being with them really is. You don’t want to be one of the dumb azzes who say, “I know I should him/her…but the izznick/puddy is too good…”. That is the dumbest reason fro staying with someone who obviously is not for you. God forbid that person gets hurt and can no longer put it on you..then what?

By SeanJohnson3000

May 20, 2008 10:34 AM | Link to this

Sup Blog..

@ Slim…it was funny when ole girl couldnt put the gold grill in on the sponge bob tip…but on the real…the azz is BANGING..

Mr. Buttersworth I don’t think sex is a huge focus point for women as it is for men...i think you have it all backwards…females from all walks of life ..from hood rats to 9 to 5’s to female executives..will put up with ALOT and even take care of a sorry a* dude if he laying pipe…i dont know if dudes aint putting it work or what but if you have the ability to make a female climax and have multiples..its easier getting rid of a stray cats than her…she is a lifer

By Jesus Shuttleworths

May 20, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this

@ared…i am so glad you know what is going on in my home…

in the event that i am single again…hooking up with the random “black girl lost” will not be top on my list….i will have other things i want to do…if i hae the chance to meet someone i am cool with we will take it one day at a time..fa real…

By The Truth

May 20, 2008 10:37 AM | Link to this

Lets all face it, sex is losing its importance as it becomes readily available, and we grow up.

Still though it feels hella good and can be very enjoyable but it’s not the end all it used to be.

Question: Why do all these bible thumpers come in here saying marriage is ordained by god but never take responsiblity for the divorces, the cheating, the bankruptcies and everything else that marriages causes? They put that on man. What a crock of shyt.

Ared/Slimmy so you’re saying you’ll do the match if I get some extra virgin oil? I don’t even think virgin oil would stick to you 2 but keep dreaming. LOL

Footsy you’ll have to let me in on “the plan”. What is it and how much is it going to cost me?

I would never wait 6 months. At that point we’re just friends. As a matter of fact if she could wait 6 months I’d know she wasn’t into me. It doesn’t have to be the first night but whenever two hopefully grown folks decide this is what we want to do. No time limits, but not 6 months. LOL

By Kym

May 20, 2008 10:38 AM | Link to this

Blow I can see Binford’s point…it is like yesterday’s topic I know we as women hate to admit this but there are women out there who are so (dare I say it) “desperate” to be love or be with someone that they are willing to say..oh yes when we get to the get down I will do all the freaky things you like (fill in your own blank) and then once they have hitched to their star..it becomes “YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT?” I have talked to enough married and or committed dudes to know some women think now that they has you lock stock and barrel..it is missionary and good night.

By Foots

May 20, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

Staceye That song is powerful! I can do a little something to that. I can’t use it in class because someone has danced to it already, and we absolutely hate to poach songs for some reason. But I practice to it at home on the regular.

By Raqi

May 20, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this

” SIGH “

By Binford2K8

May 20, 2008 10:42 AM | Link to this

Blow Me

I will not recant! I dated a girl once who I got along with fairly well, but she had problems being naked in the light and was not comfortable with herself sexually.

No matter how much I cared for her, this hurdle could not be overcome. It came to a point where I realized she (and thus we) would never be able to have a “normal” sex life. That in combination with other factors, led to the demise of the relationship.

Showing your partner what you like and what you need works only if that person is receptive.

Some of that you don’t know until you get to that point.

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 20, 2008 10:43 AM | Link to this

Sxzscorpia I so co-sign your 10:24. Everytime you have sex you take a risk…and to just waste the risk n any fool with a stiff one and pulse is totally nuts!

By Jesus Shuttleworths

May 20, 2008 10:45 AM | Link to this

@sj…the twins were ok…a lil outpocket with the sassy mouth..but they were the only ones that really wanted flav….plus they so country they dont know any better..did you see the chicks face when she was riding thru paris..she really meant all that change my life stuff..and homie was about to cry..because he knew she was real…like dude i will take you and your tribe….lol..good luck to pimpin!!!

@truth…yea i am not waitin six months..but i am not going to entertain talking about it either…or even listening to her “dont do’s”…..hell i get that enough just being married and the random chick that needs some attention…sex will come up and half the time out of th blue…..and this is all for attention….and that price is too high to pay sometimes

By Foots

May 20, 2008 10:45 AM | Link to this

Truth “The Plan” is apparently no longer in circulation. Shoot, even the ministers are on their second and third wives or husbands. So, humans of all walks of life have decided to exchange a few of the letters and rename “The Plan” to “The Game”. It’s not only a show on the CW…

By SexyLeggs

May 20, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone. I’ll cosign you Binford.

I have a MIA from last night for you guys a little later when topic turns.

By AmazonRed

May 20, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this

i am so glad you know what is going on in my home…

Rell - Um what? I don’t know anything unless you put it out there in public to see. If something different is going on, either share it or shut it. Why do you get so defensive when you’ve already shared that you are married on here?

Truth - Me and Slim wrestling would not be any fun to see. It’s be like two skeltons knocking around. Not hot. LOL

By 2CPTG©

May 20, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this

When is the right time? When yo shyt gets hard, and she gets wet! How long that takes, depends on you!

By Jesus Shuttleworths

May 20, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this

@KYM…cosign your 10:38…tis true tis true

By The Truth

May 20, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this

Kym what you’re referring to is the new trend called fugging for a ring. Alot of women do it. Some wait till after the kids so they’ll have a built in excuse. The wild part is they get upset when you try to sleep with her girlfriend. What’s really sad is the dude that allows that stuff. Give her a talking to, watch her performance and if it doesn’t improve drop her off at her moms. The worst thing in the world is to live with some puddy you can’t even touch.

What that chick is doing is renegotiating the contract you both signed without your permission. Tell her you don’t agree to her terms and cancel the contract.

By SeanJohnson3000

May 20, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this

@ Truth…bruh i so feel you about the bible thumpers…ive already been cast to hell at work because i question they way marriage is…and when i bring up the point where men were allowed to have multiple wives AND concubines…they tell me that was in the “old” testement it doesnt apply anymore.

By SlimOne

May 20, 2008 10:59 AM | Link to this

SJ3K I see you decided to join us today. I think if you took a pole asking men and women where they ranked their focus on sex, the men would fare in higher numbers than women. I don’t say that to say that women DON’T hold sex in high regard but IN COMPARISON with men, yall take the cake. I do agree with your statement about women dealing with Mr. No Goods longer if he laying it down right. That is a sad truth but yall don’t realize how rare good Vitamin D can be….but I guess it wouldn’t be as hard if i was fugging everything. Now the more selective you are in who you let inside your Fig Newton, the harder it’ll be to have a high rate of GOOD-make-you-curl-up-and-cry D..lol.

i dont know if dudes aint putting it work or what but if you have the ability to make a female climax and have multiples..its easier getting rid of a stray cats than her…

Well i guess the more mature dudes are more concerned with getting the women in that TARGET zone. The younger more mature dudes are probably more focused on just hitting it whether you get yours or not. We’ve all been there…unless of course you were born Dirk Diggler or something…plus if a young dude is just watching flicks, more times than not, the chicks don’t get theres, so it serves as a bad example. I mean I’ve even noticed less Earmuffilectomies on flicks these days but there is a 99.9999% rate of Doming going on.

By AmazonRed

May 20, 2008 11:01 AM | Link to this

I’ve seen plenty of young people who were blinded by the “nookie goggles” (similar to beer goggles). They fought there urges and stayed abstinent until marriage

Binford - You know plenty of young people who have stayed abstinant til marriage? In this century? LOL

Thanks for your answer to my other question, as well. :-)

By Adam

May 20, 2008 11:02 AM | Link to this

Too bad “the truth” had to blaspheme Almighty God just to express disagreement on the subject of premarital sex.

One day you will bend your knee to Him. For your sake, I hope you will reconsider your relationship with God—for He is the Real Truth.

By Raqi

May 20, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this

You have to do what is right for you and be willing to live with the aftermath.

Just looking back over my life I would say that I didn’t have sex with my first soon enough, but with Whitebread I let it happen too soon. And with Mase it was right on time. I needed a friend.

I laugh to myself every time I think about him saying I was the composer of our first encounter. LOL Heck I didn’t wake up that morning thinking “you know, I think I’ll go get laid today”.

It happened when I needed it the most and because I loved (as a friend) and trusted him.

By mytwocents

May 20, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this

Foots ~ if it’s a decision that you made from the information you had at the time rather than one you were talked into. It makes you more responsible for your own decisions DING

B2K ~ the more I am in to her mentally, the better the physical component will be. DING

Looking for something else to DING… Too often folks don’t ask and answer the Why & When question as it relates to themselves. The focus is put on how the person they wanna get at/let get at ‘em will interpret the act —> end result is they feel like ish if it doesn’t unfold as they’d hoped.

By Binford2K8

May 20, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this

ARed

I know we’ve talked about religious beliefs before - but you’d be surprised about where I’ve been (speaking in a religious/church community sense).

I’ve seen a lot on both sides of the fence.

By mytwocents

May 20, 2008 11:12 AM | Link to this

SJ females from all walks of life ..from hood rats to 9 to 5’s to female executives..will put up with ALOT and even take care of a sorry a dude if he laying pipe…* as well as when he’s NOT. Underemployed, talkin’ crazy, actin’ a fool, etc. is often excused just to have someone - - - anyone there. So Sad.

Hey SexyL. Also, later… I KNOW baby girl was not turned away at the door, so Prom 411, please. Saw a man walking down Memorial Dr. in a white tux w/ tails this wknd…and he wasn’t a young one either. Had to chuckle.

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 20, 2008 11:12 AM | Link to this

A BENTLEY co-sign goes out to ADAM

By SlimOne

May 20, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

Truthie That was so wrong tombout the Virgin Oil wouldn’t stick to us…whether Mr. Mickey Fickey, you wouldn’t be able to even keep a grip on the Extra Virgin Oil if you had super glue on your hands as much booty you done stuck your Vlasic in. lol TU SHAE!

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 20, 2008 11:15 AM | Link to this

Foots I got some songs for you…

-The One: Prince

-Been Awhile: Staind

-Seduction: Usher

-Uninvited:Alanis Morrisette

-Closer: Nine Inch Nails

-Freeek: George Michael

-Beautiful Ones: Prince

-Slept so Long: Jay Gordon of Orgy (Queen of the Damned Soundtrack)

-System: Chester Bennington of Linkin Park (Queen of the Damned Soundtrack)

-Teardrop: Massive Attack

-I Want You: Madonna w/Massive Attack

I do not think anyone has used most of these….if you need more hit me up.

Binford if someone is not comfortable with her body it is a mental issue that no matter what you say…she will see other wise.

By AmazonRed

May 20, 2008 11:15 AM | Link to this

Binford - I’m pleasently surprised. I can’t say I know anyone whose abstained before marriage. I talked to my female friends about it and 100% of them told me that they could never hold out til marriage. Thanks for the help sisters! LOL

By SlimOne

May 20, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this

Truthie That was so wrong tombout the Virgin Oil wouldn’t stick to us…whether Mr. Mickey Fickey, you wouldn’t be able to even keep a grip on the Extra Virgin Oil if you had super glue on your hands as much booty you done stuck your Vlasic in. lol TU SHAE!

By Brooklyn

May 20, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this

Is their a shift in power between the man and the woman after they seal the deal? Should there be?

I honestly think there is a slight shift in power after the sex act. Some women are now left stressed, wondering if they gave it up too soon, whether he’ll call again, etc.

What matters most: when you sleep with someone or why you sleep with someone?

I used to have rules on when I’ll give it up to a guy that I’m dating but now I go with the flow. Not to say that I just sleep with a guy after the first date but I don’t allow technical things to be huge factor if we’re really feeling each other. I seek out mutual connection and attraction and if it’s there and I’m comfortable I go for it. LOL.

By SlimOne

May 20, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

Truthie That was so wrong tombout the Virgin Oil wouldn’t stick to us…whether Mr. Mickey Fickey, you wouldn’t be able to even keep a grip on the Extra Virgin Oil if you had super glue on your hands as much booty you done stuck your Vlasic in. lol TU SHAE!

By Foots

May 20, 2008 11:24 AM | Link to this

Thanks Staceye. I love Closer and Uninvited, we use those in class. We actually use a lot of songs that I don’t even know and I can’t say that I like them all, but at least we get exposure to different kinds of music. I’ll check out the other ones on the list that I don’t think I’ve heard yet.

if someone is not comfortable with her body it is a mental issue

Maybe that’s true, but I think that if someone isn’t comfortable with their body, but yet refuse to do anything that would make them more comfortable with it, that’s crazy. Bodies are imperfect and we can all find things that we’d like to change. It’s kinda mental though to not find one thing about yourself that you like.

By The Truth

May 20, 2008 11:24 AM | Link to this

SJ the good thing is me, you and the rest of blogsville will all be posting from our hot azz cells. It’s just going to be a continuation of the here and now. LOL

Slimmy I mean I’ve even noticed less Earmuffilectomies on flicks these days but there is a 99.9999% rate of Doming going on. I’ve noticed the same thing, not that I spend all day watching porn(why did the skies just start rumbling). I think in our society women have flooded the market with so much azz that they’re now just objects for pleasure.

Adam I don’t recognize any god that would need 10% of my earnings. That’s mans doing. Do this, question everything. Look at who would profit from the fairytales you’ve accepted as truth just because your parents did before you. To think you’re probably a logical guy outside of your belief in fairytales and outdated stories made up for pure profit. And think of this, if I have a desire and there is a god he gave it to me so why can some dude called a preacher, who’s trying to get as much azz as I am and even more money, tell me it’s wrong? See you next week.

Slim dam, you didn’t have to hit me below the belt. I apologize for my remarks. LOL

By AmazonRed

May 20, 2008 11:25 AM | Link to this

LMAO @ Vlasic.

By Willie Dynamite

May 20, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this

Good topic so far-

How many of your relationships started after you slept with the person on the first or second date? Every one. Not that it had to be that way but until the deed was done we were just kicking it.

Is their a shift in power between the man and the woman after they seal the deal? Should there be? Not in my book. Usually some Women put so much emphasis on keeping you from getting the puddy that they have less substance to them after the fact. That is how you get jump-offs.

How does sex change the dynamics of the dating “relationship”? Good and Bad? Depends on what type of person you are. If you sending your representative out just to get some sex then its already a wrap.

Ive always been more of a why type instead of when. Dont get me wrong I prolly enjoy the chase more than anything because it pushed me to be more well rounded. I guess my ego wouldnt let me have everything that was just given to me. I wanted to work for it without all the silly games. I had to have ya mind and then the why was because for no other reason than I stimulated your thought process.

By SeanJohnson3000

May 20, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this

@ Slim….if you pole women….the number one on their list would be MONEY…with Good D very close second…women love money more than anything…

By dyoung (aka "the champ")

May 20, 2008 11:32 AM | Link to this

“What matters most: when you sleep with someone or why you sleep with someone?”

This is a trick question, mainly because “Why” and “When” are some what connected. It’s “cause” and “effect”, and you can’t separate two.

verysmartbrothas.com

By The Truth

May 20, 2008 11:41 AM | Link to this

SJ that’s the kicker. The same chicks that say dudes fiend for booty are fiending for money. They love cash as much as we love azz. LOL However, they call it security where as we just call it booty.

By SlimOne

May 20, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this

Truth Don’t worry about those graying skies…you can come stand under my Umbrella eh eh eh ella lol

Ared All this pickle talk got me wanting a sammich…Hmmm should i get it with a pickle on the side? LMAO…okay I’m done now. hehehehehe

By SlimOne

May 20, 2008 11:51 AM | Link to this

Truth So according to your 11:41 when yall cake a chick yall are just Securing the Booty, right?

By mickiedee

May 20, 2008 11:54 AM | Link to this

For those that said the relationship didn’t start until after the sex, that is a huge gamble for a woman to take. How we are to know that a relationship will follow if we have only been on 2 or 3 dates?

Shuttleworths what kind of rules did the hard line rule women have? Were they rules about sex or rules about relationships or both?

By Carmel

May 20, 2008 11:54 AM | Link to this

Hello..OFF TOPIC question- How long after a divorce should u introduce your new mate to your folks or does it even matter.

By SlimOne

May 20, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this

Truth So according to your 11:41 when yall cake a chick yall are just Securing the Booty, right?

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 20, 2008 11:59 AM | Link to this

Foots I hope you like them…

As far as the body…I personally hate my body so I can fell her. The only time I ok with it is when I perform….because I think my performing will take the emphais away. But if it is just sex…it’s all about the body!

By SexyLeggs

May 20, 2008 12:00 PM | Link to this

I hear you guys say the relationship definitely started after the sex, but wasn’t the time spent up until the sex part of the relationship phase. Is it that sex simply solidify that you were going to continue w/this particular relationship instead of moving on to someone else????

By Simp

May 20, 2008 12:01 PM | Link to this

LadyJ Congrats!!!!! Are you still in countdown mode? Sex is a joke. Its funny how it turns people life upside down. Hey yall….LOL

By SexyLeggs

May 20, 2008 12:03 PM | Link to this

Breaking News

CNN reports that gas stations will start showing PORN movies on the screens of the pumps so that you can see someone else get screwed at the same time you do !!

By KP (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

May 20, 2008 12:03 PM | Link to this

I love it…I’ve been itching to into this discussion and was delayed because of a meeting.

I see The Truth is busy as usual and I appreciate his candor and honesty.

The Truth remains that sex was NOT meant to be shared with any and everybody.

The Truth remains that everyone you have had sex with was undeserving of that privilege if you never went to the altar together.

The Truth remains that many of our single moms would have assistance in raising their children if someone who was worthy of conceiving their child operated in their purpose. (this is NOT an absolute statement so please don’t hit me with hate responses because I know there are some exceptions due to divorce, etc.)

The Truth is many relationships fail because sex is the primary premise by which they operate. Relationships should be based on respect, friendship, honesty, love, patience, encouragement, growth, etc.

The Truth is the number of STD’s being spread would be drastically reduced if people cheished their male and female organs.

Men generally exercise their sexual prowess as a form of gratification and control. Women typically grant access to the goodies in order to express love to their ‘partner/mate’.

Sex is one of the main contributors of failed relationships and ultimately failed marriages. I have a theory for people to evaluate prior to marrying someone. Would you still marry this person if hsi/her beauty begins to fade away and/or your sex life is not as exciting as it currently is? If the answer is yes, then you probably have someone whose frienship is more valuable to you then their beauty/sexship :). This makes for a good foundation for successful relationship!

By Jesus Shuttleworths

May 20, 2008 12:05 PM | Link to this

@mickiedee

rules

i dont have sex on the first night…broken

only duck i am sicking is my man…broken

i dont do anal at all…broken

strickly dyckly…broken

sex clubs, never dont like strange men touching me…broken

never make a sex tape and have you keep it….broken

i am not giving you head while you drive…broken

fellas we can keep the list going

By SexyLeggs

May 20, 2008 12:07 PM | Link to this

Carmel, that’s a different twist - introduce new mate to folks and not kids. Hell, as soon as you guys are serious. Same w/kids, you don’t want to appear as though you’re a revolving door, and doesn’t mean sexual. Just don’t it to appear you’re hoping from man to man (LOL).

By AmazonRed

May 20, 2008 12:08 PM | Link to this

As far as the body…I personally hate my body so I can feel her

Staceye - I will knock you out. Girl stop all that talk!

If you’re gonna hate your body, you might as well add 250 pounds to it and a bucket of cellulite. LOL

By Blow Me a.k.a MOST HATED ON

May 20, 2008 12:09 PM | Link to this

WHERE IS MR. 900K …I miss him

By SexyLeggs

May 20, 2008 12:10 PM | Link to this

JShuttleworths, I agree you can definitely keep the list going with “BROKEN.”

By AmazonRed

May 20, 2008 12:11 PM | Link to this

KP - Bravo to your 12:03.

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 20, 2008 12:12 PM | Link to this

Mickedee It doesn’t. That is their way of getting all the comforts of a relationship without comitting. they will give you the run around about why they do not rush into relationships…but still and yet they want you to give them sex straight off the bat! Don’t fall for it ladies..it’s a ploy!

By Lady J

May 20, 2008 12:13 PM | Link to this

Thanks Simp yes sir 3 more days and a two wk break and working June and July!!! Thanks for the Congrats!!! You were apart of my journey and I appreciate ya!!!

KP great post hhoney!

By SexyLeggs

May 20, 2008 12:13 PM | Link to this

ARed, I’ll help you smack the shyt out of Staceye. Girl, I wish I had a body like yours, but I do like mine, but would like a little more here and a little more there (LOL).

By Jesus Shuttleworths

May 20, 2008 12:15 PM | Link to this

@sexyleggs…i dont get it?

By KP (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

May 20, 2008 12:19 PM | Link to this

@Foots, The plan according to God never changed…just the people executing the plan. Don’t become sidetracked because some of the popular preachers stain the name of the thousands of others who are working to execute the plan according to the way it was written. All you are doing is spreading a perpetual stereotype that is NOT applicable to all ministers.

@SJ3000, you are so right that there are many women who will remain in relationships because of a good plumber, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they like the sex. A lot of those women when you look under the surface seek someone who gives them attention…and it’s exercised physically in the example you’ve provided.

By SexyLeggs

May 20, 2008 12:21 PM | Link to this

You don’t get what Shuttleworths??

By Jesus Shuttleworths

May 20, 2008 12:21 PM | Link to this

@kp…sex does not cause reltionships to fail

The Truth is many relationships fail because sex is the primary premise by which they operate. Relationships should be based on respect, friendship, honesty, love, patience, encouragement, growth, etc.

all those cause the thing to fail..because when the respect is gone..there is no sex…and the disrespect starts in small forms….specially the black womens number one weapon..that mouth…ya know that mouth the mamas and aunties tell the women to have so your man will not walk all over you…that mouth that screams i am a strong black women and you not going to tell me what to…that is what kills it…not sex…come on dude dont pander to your audience with that…..lets speak on the truth

By Beautiful

May 20, 2008 12:24 PM | Link to this

before you sleep with someone, know in your mind what it means to you? and more important, does it mean the same to him?

By 2CPTG©

May 20, 2008 12:30 PM | Link to this

“come on dude dont pander to your audience with that…”

OK! But this is the quote that got me, “Don’t become sidetracked because some of the popular preachers stain the name of the thousands of others who are working to execute the plan according to the way it was written.”

How do you know how it was written? I ain’t knockin your beliefs, but unless you can read Aramaic, then you don’t know how it was written, either!

By Lady J

May 20, 2008 12:30 PM | Link to this

exactl Beautiful being really true to self is hard for some women and men to do…it is easier to fake the funk and make it more or less than what it is but we as adults know what is in from the start now the decision to keep rolling with the punches lies on self and what welf truly is seeking…one can get burned out pretty quick faking and pretending…damage goods I call it…lol

By SexyLeggs

May 20, 2008 12:34 PM | Link to this

Shuttleworths, I’m going to lunch. What I was saying is I agree with your list of rules to mickiedee that some women say these things only to turn around and do them anyway!

By KP (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

May 20, 2008 12:34 PM | Link to this

@Jesus…I agree with you, but re-read my entry. I said, “Many relationships fail because sex is the primary premise by which they operate.” I didn’t say sex is the reason they ALL fail. I concur with you that disrespect, poor communication, lack of encouragement and selfishness all contribute to failed relationships. However, today’s topic focuses on sex…so I’m trying to be obedient.

By Kym

May 20, 2008 12:34 PM | Link to this

KP I am with Rell on this one..lets cut to the real. Sex is not the foundation of all evil in relationships. When a relationship/marriage fail it is not because there is no nookie at the house..it is deeper than that.

By Nope...

May 20, 2008 12:39 PM | Link to this

You said…Sex is one of the main contributors of failed relationships and ultimately failed marriages. I have a theory for people to evaluate prior to marrying someone.…and, I concur with Kym, Rell and 2cptg

By The Truth

May 20, 2008 12:39 PM | Link to this

KP I’m going to have to charge you on a per use basis for using my name. Because I can’t count past 5 I’ll just go with a flat $150.00 and a warning to be careful when using my name in your posts.

While what you’re saying sounds great in theory you’re dealing with human beings, not statistics or figures. We’re the most imperfect beings walking the earth. Look at Areds forehead for existence. It reeks of cro magnum man.

Those lines sound great but they will never govern a persons feelings. In the end women give up booty and men like that. This can be proven because it always has been and always will be. They could double the current diseases and people will still bone. It’s what we are. It’s now reported that even JC and Mary may have been bumping uglies. This thing is bigger than us. It is what we are.

2C next time warn the dude before you start dropping bombs. LOL

Also, more relationships fail because of finances than sex. It’s hard to maintain an erection with a pile of bills and bill collectors calling you.

By KP (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

May 20, 2008 12:43 PM | Link to this

@Kym, please read my reply (12:34) to J Shuttleworths. Please watch my qualifiers…I used many…not ALL in my statement. :)

By AmazonRed

May 20, 2008 12:43 PM | Link to this

LOL KP…it’s a tough room, isn’t it? LOL

By SeanJohnson3000

May 20, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this

@ KP…Relly Rell got a point…also dude…you rarely here a sermon speaking on women and how to be wives…you know steppin on their toes giving some constructive critism…i guess they dont wanna bit the hand that feeds them..but at least once a month its a men aint no good wait to one is sent to you sermon

@ 2cptg…bruh i have been saying that for years…if some of these folks research religion and spirituality like they researched things in college and grad school…they would really be educated and enlighted.

By Simp

May 20, 2008 12:47 PM | Link to this

Hello Beautiful How have you been?

By Dan

May 20, 2008 12:53 PM | Link to this

Had to comment on this one….

To me, what’s most important is the “why” of having sex.

When matters only in the instances that sex is used as leverage, or represents a “treat” of some kind, or an accomplishment for…..whatever.

If you’re a grown woman, capable of making her own decisions independent women and living with the consequences of those actions, why is it suddenly, when an attraction arises does “what [someone] else will think matter”?

I prefer a woman capable of acting on those feelings: be they passion, arousal, or simply lust. That shows a confidence that no hairdo, outfit, or material possession that can be ascribed to inpendence. Becuase to truly be independent you have to be willing to act and be prepared for the outcome of your choices.

That is all…..

By Beautiful

May 20, 2008 12:54 PM | Link to this

having sex too early can impair your judgment. having great sex on the first date blurs the rest of the picture. we confuse our sexual needs with our emotional needs. get to know him and think about what your wanting from this guy. give the relationship time to grow, see if it develops into a relationship you both are comfortable with. get in touch with your own motivations for getting involved, and don’t confuse sex with love.

what is his character? love … not sex should be the lure and the glue.

By SlimOne

May 20, 2008 1:01 PM | Link to this

I’m not exactly sure why this type of convo always ends up being some debate on religion. Cuz a lot of Americans don’t strictly follow any one religion or set of church provided rules…regardless if we believe in a higher being or not. We however, do use certain things we’ve heard and/or read about to raid on others to make ourselves feel good. This is a Judge and Be Judged world..anyone thinking otherwise just ain’t being real or lives on a compound in Texas somewhere.

By Kym

May 20, 2008 1:04 PM | Link to this

KP Many—All tomato-tomatoe..

Pulling out my soapbox and dusting it off

The one thing that irrates me is when the topic of sex comes up everyone gets religion. I mean the baptist pull out their bibles, witnesses come out of the wood work and I swear the blog goes freaking virginal white as those who have found the way and the truth and light parade through telling us all how Jesus saved their soul sunday morning in 1994..knowing good and doggone well that they were just Stagger Leaning to church last Sunday after a night out freaking at(insert your favorite freak spot here). An if they were not at the dang gone club then I will bet Dollars to Doughnuts they have a producer membership on Rude.com or Nude africa or any other countless get your -freak on at home- websites. I mean GOOD Grief birds do it bees do, cows and bulls do it and right now somewhere in the world in some remote part of the rainforest a lost tribe of people are doing it. (See the Travel channel for references..) You want to know why our kids have sexual damn issues because we dont talk to them about it. We think if we talk about it then they will do it. Well look around look around..someday they will do it and there is not a damn thing you can do to stop it short of locking them in a bubble and even then they will masturbate just because they can. I swear and be damn.

Now stepping off my soapbox and setting it on fire “Maybe if I burn it I wont feel the need to get on it-who am I kidding I can get another one at Wal-Mart”

By KP (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

May 20, 2008 1:06 PM | Link to this

@Truth…charge the use of your name to my blog tab :). Dude…you make my blog experience very entertaining and enjoyable everytime I turn on my pc. Keep the good points coming because they definitely cause me to think.

@2cptg and SJ3000…I am a seminarian and have researched the dead sea scrolls which contribute to the original manuscripts from which the Bible’s origin has been established. The Bible translation is one of the most accurate in our history. The little things that people say have gotten lost through the translation to English DO NOT impact the overall message of the Bible. God created man, man did what was right our own eyes, a Savior was sent as a sacrifice for our sins, those who believe shall not perish, those who don’t believe need to take a very powerful AC unit with them upon transition from time to eternity. God doesn’t send people to hell…people make the decision themselves. It’s very easy to understand the aramaic, greek and hebrew origins through personal study. I recommend everyone do their OWN due diligence before jumping on the stereotypical religious-hater bandwagon of those who have been scarred through bad experiences. Christianity is the one religion that sources back to the beginning of time and can prove the existence of an intelligent designer (God) versus the theory of evolution. Even Atheists recognize the existence of Jesus, but have yet to disprove the many things Christian doctrine is based on. Do your own research and make an intelligent decision :)

By The Truth

May 20, 2008 1:06 PM | Link to this

I say concentrate on your own needs because you’ll truly never know what motivated your partner to do what they did. I don’t know why but I need to know when. LOL

This mumbo jumbo about understand what your partner needs is a crock. I’ll NEVER know why a woman does what she does and trying to is a distraction from my plan. My .02 Selfishnous is good folks. There is no higher cause, only the one you face today. Now is reality, tomorrow is a thought. (You like me quoting Tolle Kym? LOL)

By 2CPTG©

May 20, 2008 1:09 PM | Link to this

Slim, the reason the convo always steers toward religion is because somebody always wanna come in here tombout sex is for marriage only….

Truth, you said warn ‘em before I drop a bomb, ok, I’m bout to drop one…..Eve wasn’t the first!!! Look up Lilith! See why Eve replaced her..it has everything to do with sex!