Misadventures in Atlanta

By SlimOne

June 25, 2008 8:16 AM | Link to this

Morning

By QC

June 25, 2008 8:20 AM | Link to this

Morning..i don’t worry about anything when it comes to dating in the Spring, Summer, Winter or Fall I always ask my date his opinion on what he would like for us to do, i want to make sure we both have a great time..1st impressions are the best so i gotta make sure my Man has a enjoys my company..If we do something outdoors i’d make sure he was comfortable with that..I have some brand new picnic assessories i can’t wait to use them..i’m full of surprises when it comes to dating…i enjoy outdoor festivals, picnics & a good movie..it does’nt matter what we do As long as i’m with Him i’m good

Have a fantastic day everyone!

By Raqi

June 25, 2008 8:34 AM | Link to this

Summer months are excellent for engaging in physical activities…and no, not those physical activities. I just wish the quality of air was better. But anyhoo…

It is a time to get out and take part in some contact sports, no…again not that, and see what type of man/woman you have. It sheds light into their energy level, their sportsmanship, their attention span and much more. And it is so easy to find topics of conversation from people, elements and activities in your open surroundings.

By Dan

June 25, 2008 8:47 AM | Link to this

Raqi’s right

Shirts vs skins basketball, softball, baseball, noncontact flag football…all with your girl watching or playing.

Those are the days…I miss the New York hardwood. But ain’t nothing like that GA clay!

But for me activities are the way to go

By Dee

June 25, 2008 8:53 AM | Link to this

Morning all!

By SlimOne

June 25, 2008 9:01 AM | Link to this

I think the warmer seasons give you a wider range of activities to engage in. During the cooler months folks tend to want to lay up more and keep each other warm. But to me, there is nothing like getting out there, getting your bodies moving, and having a grand ole time doing different things. Badmitton anyone? lol

melo Just an FYI: I did drink a Corona last night and blew across the top of the bottle in your honor. Whooooooo, Whooooooo. lol

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

June 25, 2008 9:04 AM | Link to this

Hey all!! They are working me in here! I cant play but I will try and drop in from time to time til I am done training. Can ya’ll behave today??? I did peep in yesterday for all the fireworks……

By The Truth

June 25, 2008 9:07 AM | Link to this

Good morning Blogsville, USA.

A combo of all the above is the best. Indoor, outdoor, and then some relaxation.

Raqi, gotta agree. Getting outdoors gives you an opportunity to see what you’re working with.

Me and an ex went to the Fla Keys and went jet skiing. Being a speed freak I opened mine up and figured I’d come back and get her. I look over my shoulder and she was wide open right next to me. It was the funniest shyt to see this chick with that thing wide open. We hollared over that one. Later we visited the shops and topped the day off with a great seafood dinner.

On the skin, I figure if a chicks not trying to show me some she’s not feeling me. If you go pick up a chick in the summer and she’s wearing a turtleneck with full length leather she’s sending you a hell of a message. LOL

A little gas information:

Only buy or fill up your car or truck in the early morning when the ground temperature is still cold. Remember that all service stations have their storage tanks buried below ground. The colder the ground the more dense the gasoline, when it gets warmer gasoline expands, so buying in the afternoon or in the evening….your gallon is not exactly a gallon. In the petroleum business, the specific gravity and the temperature of the gasoline, diesel and jet fuel, ethanol and other petroleum products plays an important role. A 1-degree rise in temperature is a big deal for this business. But the service stations do not have temperature compensation at the pumps. When you’re filling up do not squeeze the trigger of the nozzle to a fast mode. If you look you will see that the trigger has three (3) stages: low, middle, and high. You should be pumping on low mode, thereby minimizing the vapors that are created while you are pumping. All hoses at the pump have a vapor return. If you are pumping on the fast rate, some of the liquid that goes to your tank becomes vapor. Those vapors are being sucked up and back into the underground storage tank so you’re getting less worth for your money. One of the most important tips is to fill up when your gas tank is HALF FULL. The reason for this is the more gas you have in your tank the less air occupying its empty space. Gasoline evaporates faster than you can imagine. Gasoline storage tanks have an internal floating roof. This roof serves as zero clearance between the gas and the atmosphere, so it minimizes the evaporation. Unlike service stations, here where I work, every truck that we load is temperature compensated so that every gallon is actually the exact amount. Another reminder, if there is a gasoline truck pumping into the storage tanks when you stop to buy gas, DO NOT fill up; most likely the gasoline is being stirred up as the gas is being delivered, and you might pick up some of the dirt that normally settles on the bottom. To have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of gas buyers. It’s really simple to do. I’m sending this note to about thirty people. If each of you send it to at least ten more (30 x 10 = 300)…and those 300 send it to at least ten more (300 x 10 = 3,000) and so on, by the time the message reaches the sixth generation of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLION consumers !!!!!!!
Again, all you have to do is send this to 10 people. How long would it take?

Knowledge is the key.

By PornStar* in da Building (**6'1**)

June 25, 2008 9:08 AM | Link to this

Good morning Good People I am working half a day, so in the honor of me getting off early, I am currently preparing one of my famous brunch spreads. BRB!

By Blue Kolla

June 25, 2008 9:09 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Blog…

Summer is a great time for me to meet a potential, because right off I’ll know if she’s one of those, “I don’t like to sweat” or “I can’t take this heat” type of chicks - most irritating.

Off Topic: I feel like I walked out and forgot to screw on my fake leg - left my dayum phone; which meant no music, no ebooks, no texting, *and I had to listen to two yappin’ old ladies all the way to work. Sounds like a helluva reason to go home for lunch. Sigh*

QC ;)

By SexyLeggs

June 25, 2008 9:09 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone. Love the summer months. I don’t sweat much (a problem for my doctor), but I can stand the heat for a certain amount of time. Summertime is a great time to engage in all types of activities. From sports to long walks to sitting somewhere and people watch over wings and margaritas.

Recant Recant, I was just messing with you guys w/my b-day wish list yesterday! Carry on!

By Dan

June 25, 2008 9:12 AM | Link to this

LOL @ Truth

With the infomercial/chain email nightmare….

By PornStar* in da Building (**6'1**)

June 25, 2008 9:17 AM | Link to this

Salmon,fried chicken wings,turkey sausage, turkey bacon, pancakes, waffles w/cinnamon, cheese grits, rice,gravy, french toast, with strawberries, blueberries, and cinnamon apples, fresh tropical fruit,(pineapples included & save me some Truthy), fresh assortment of melons. Freshly squeezed juice, (courtesy of Cee) Fiji water and Pepsi’s of course. Forehead kisses to all the vertically challenged men and azz pats to all my favorite chica’s! Enjoy

By Raqi

June 25, 2008 9:20 AM | Link to this

The thing I have noticed is dating has become so complex because people just don’t do the simple things anymore. Everything relating to dating or dates has become so stuffy and formal. What ever happened to acting silly? Not being silly but acting silly.

Last Sunday we were working outside in the yard and what started as a minor mishap of missing the lawn mower with the water hose ended up in a mutually drenched fun fest.

When was the last time any of you experienced playfully being chased down the beach by your S/O? Believe it or not it ranks right up with sitting under the beach umbrella while analyzing Socrates. Or whomever.

What about tossing the Frisbee back and forth in the park? Building a sand castle? Getting/giving a piggy back ride?

It’s summer time, get out and have some fun.

For the women, if want to get a gooooood laugh, challenge your S/O to a hula hoop contest. And then give him a private lesson on how to properly swirl those hips. ;-}

By Blue Kolla

June 25, 2008 9:20 AM | Link to this

Slim Don’t do it. It’s too early. LOL

Truth I opened mine up and figured I’d come back and get her. I look over my shoulder and she was wide open right next to me.

Dude ain’t nothing like that happy surprised feeling when you realize that you’ve got something special.

By AmazonRed

June 25, 2008 9:28 AM | Link to this

Happy Hump Day everyone!

I love dating in the summer. There is always an excuse to wear a cute little strappy sundress, strappy sandals, short shorts and bikinis. ATL summers beat L.A. summers because the temp stays warm in the evening too. I just wish there was a beach closer. But there are plenty of pools around.

I also love dining on the patio sipping a fruity drink.

Back in Cali we’d go on a houseboat each summer and rent sea doos. Haven’t done that in a while.

By AmazonRed

June 25, 2008 9:33 AM | Link to this

QC - Enjoy your new picnic accessories!

I am researching grills so dude can get his grill on this summer. I’m gonna order up some Omaha steaks and go to town!

Bella also asked about sweating. Fortunately, I’m not much of a sweater. Just light perspiration!

By PornStar* in da Building (**6'1**)

June 25, 2008 9:38 AM | Link to this

I am sorry, I had my hands full, here are thecheese eggs, regular eggs, boiled eggs, (my arm too tired to try and fix omelets) oatmeal, cherrios, frosted flakes, cinnamon toast crunch, blueberry & banana nut muffins, wheat toast, and raisin bread. Have a great Hump day everyone!

By Raqi

June 25, 2008 9:41 AM | Link to this

The about sweating…it’s normal. When the heat begins to rise and/or you are engaging in some fierce “physical” activities a good amount is to be expected.

If he got you out there he should have no problem with it.

By AmazonRed

June 25, 2008 9:42 AM | Link to this

On the skin, I figure if a chicks not trying to show me some she’s not feeling me. If you go pick up a chick in the summer and she’s wearing a turtleneck with full length leather she’s sending you a hell of a message. LOL

LMAO @ Truth. The last time I wore a turtleneck in the summer was about 10 years ago when the SO got a little too happy with the neck kisses. Hickeys are so tacky.

By SlimOne

June 25, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this

As far as the sweating goes, No i don’t 8like* to sweat but as long as dude knows how sweet I smelled prior to our outside activity it’s all good to me. Personally, I think guys like to see a chick who isn’t worried about breaking a nail or getting a little sweat on their nose…lol. If ya’ll are cool like that, seems like a perfect excuse to take a shower together afterwards anyway.

Blue You’re right. Let me put my bottle on the shelf until lunchtime. lol

By Kym aka Contessa of Rapturous Delights

June 25, 2008 9:47 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

I agree with Raqi..I am a summer baby and for me summer time is fun. I may complain about peeing in the woods..but I can’t wait to get out there in the woods and smell the fresh unsmog air of the mountains and actually see the stars at night. Playing in the water hose or just sitting quietly enjoying each other’s company. Now I don’t jetski..but I am going to get on the paddle boat and play a little mini golf this weekend.

By Dan

June 25, 2008 9:50 AM | Link to this

Two Words: Candace Parker

Tall, cute, a baller, and if she can cook, I’m on the first thing smoking to LA.

I don’t want my lady doing MMA in her spare time (although those babes fighting was kinda dope), especially in the summertime I need to know that she doesn’t mind physical activities. I think it’s a welcome trait to see a woman do something athletic and physical, tells me a lil something about her.

Candace Parker..just sayin

By Foots

June 25, 2008 9:51 AM | Link to this

Good morning. I was thinking about climbing/walking Stone Mountain this Saturday morning. Anybody done that lately?

Raqi I got a piggy-back ride this weekend. Needed it too, cause my feet were screaming! And did you say hula hoop?? I’ve seen my dude hula hoop and he wasn’t great. I can beat him hula hooping in my sleep, with a hangover and two broken legs. LOL!

By kimmie

June 25, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this

Good morning blog fam - Great summer topic!

Raqi - Love your 9:20! I learned very early in the game that I need a man I can act silly with. My 1st boyfriend was serious and a stick in the mud. I come from a big silly family, so when I would start to clown, he would look at me stern & say I needed to grow up. I don’t think we should ever lose the ability to PLAY & have fun like a kid. Yes, get out and enjoy the sunshine. When I was in college, a group of my friends bought water guns one spring. It got so bad that I had to take my water gun with me to class, because I might have to defend myself walking to and from class! We had a blast. Current SO understands my silly side too. He surprised me with the 1st season of Martin on dvd - my favorite show!

Amred - What’s up girl? My SO is a SERIOUS griller and he can throw down! He already had a nice charcoal grill, but about a month ago purchased a gas/charcoal combo at Kroger of all places. They had the same grill at Lowes, but Kroger had it about $30 cheaper. He’s really happy with it though. I am too cause we’ve been eating good:)! Yeah, I love the summer clothes too! In addition to shoes, I collect Hawaiian shirts, I LOVE them! I have 2 that were belonged to Mom & Dad that my aunt brought them back from Hawaii. They are really nice and I rock them with khakis or jeans.

By AmazonRed

June 25, 2008 9:56 AM | Link to this

Dan - You’ll have to fight Sheldon Williams. They are engaged.

By Foots

June 25, 2008 9:58 AM | Link to this

Oh, and white water rafting!! I haven’t been in a few years, but I really want to go again this year. But I want to get a cabin and stay overnight instead of just coming back after we’re done. I do the 6-hour course on the Ocoee River and it is exhausting to drive back, even for a 2 hour drive.

If you’re looking to go, you can’t go wrong with the Wildwater rafting company… http://www.wildwaterrafting.com/

By Alvin

June 25, 2008 9:59 AM | Link to this

Just posting whatever I am playing in my mp3 at the moment…

You damn right I cheated I couldn’t get it from you when I need it Cuz dealin’ with you it ain’t easy Think I’m a let you talk to me greasy I ain’t one of them little lames sweetie So you single again? Well we even I know you miss how I beat it You’ll be back cuz he don’t eat it

By Raqi

June 25, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

SlimOne you are right. The catch is if you scent yourself properly following your daily shower it becomes a part of your natural aroma. So when you sweat your natural scent stays with you for a good long while.

By Dan

June 25, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

I thought she was dating the dude they always show at your games…you the one with the scared hairline (it keeps retreating for cover).

I don’t care, other than a couple million, what Sheldon Williams got on me. Hell, I’m probably taller!

By AmazonRed

June 25, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

Hey kimmie - I do want a charcoal grill but I was looking into the combos. Kroger you say? I am going to check it out! I would like a Big Green Egg, but I don’t think it’s in the budget!

By The Melo

June 25, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this

melo Just an FYI: I did drink a Corona last night and blew across the top of the bottle in your honor Im honored Slim, that ur thoghts of me extend overnight(i had fab sex last night actually,my wife missed her alarm and overslept)…we just need to strengthen that bond to the weekend and plan some sexciting!!

By AmazonRed

June 25, 2008 10:05 AM | Link to this

Uh Dan - Shelden Williams is 6’9”

Foots - I went white water rafting last summer with the same company! It was so much fun!

By PornStar* in da Building (**6'1**)

June 25, 2008 10:10 AM | Link to this

Alvin/Demi That’s what I am talking about. I love Plies!

By Cemeeli

June 25, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

Morning in here!

Thanks 6’1’ for that spread…

I have some brand new picnic assessories i can’t wait to use them…

QC we think alike b/c i have purchase some summer kitchen/picnic items myself. Told you i’m leathal in a Target store. That stuff is so cute i totally went overboard.

I’m ready to entertain with it.

…speaking of kimmie do you cater private picnics?…

By Dan

June 25, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

Beasley is 6’10”…

Don’t matter though…I’m cuter.

Regardless, I’m happy with my choice of companion right now. But, as in any agreement there is an exscape clause, she’ll have hers and I’ll have mine.

By aggressively witty

June 25, 2008 10:13 AM | Link to this

LOL @ Raqi trying to “get silly” That is key though, so I agree.

Outdoor dates, i try to stay away from them cause I am an aggressive sweater. No one wants to be party to that. Even if wifepiece and i went on a nice stroll through the park guarnateed I would be soaked by the end. We prefer to go places cooled, like musuems n such. Sometimes we eat outside but not often.

Sidebar - Gas does not expand from the heat going up enough to make a difference to the end consumer. When you buy a coke and take it out the fridge and forget to drink it, when you drink it warm there is not any less coke.

Sidebar 2 - be carefule eating all that grilled meat. Charcoal is heavy in carcinogens.

By QC

June 25, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this

LOL @ BK…smooches

Thanks Ared I can’t wait hopefully i can use them for the FLASH BACK CONCERT AUGUST 9th

Cee-me-me girl i’m soooo ready!

By SlimOne

June 25, 2008 10:18 AM | Link to this

Foots I’m not sure if you heard but Stone Mountain has some new type of obstacle course you can do. I was thinking about checking it out soon especially since i haven’t been to St Mtn in lawd knows how long. I saw a commercial for it on tv and folks were walking across some tiny azz rope probably 15-20+ feet in the air.

By kimmie

June 25, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this

Cee - Hey girl, what’s up? I do cater very small private picnics, more like picnic baskets. I’ve done a few picnic baskets for people to take to Chastain Park concerts and the like. I’m going to do something nice for me and SO for Jill Scott at Chastain July 30.

By The Truth

June 25, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this

Ared they have an eggtoberfest in october. You can buy one after that and save about 200-300 bux. Of course you’ll miss the summer. LOL

Foots whitewater rafting is some of the most tiring stuff going. Especially when you’re going against the current. I remember wanting to throw up in my own mouth.

6’1 thanks for the breakfast. Delich.

By QC

June 25, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this

Cee-me-me I spoke with Vivian this morning we were in our office staff meeting together…girl i’ll email ya in a few..

By AmazonRed

June 25, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

Outdoor dates, i try to stay away from them cause I am an aggressive sweater. No one wants to be party to that. Even if wifepiece and i went on a nice stroll through the park guarnateed I would be soaked by the end

I have to admit, it’s a turnoff for me. Even watching the NBA finals, Odom comes off the court to give a sideline interview just dripping. Turned my darn stomach. Can you at least towel off. LOL. I think Kobe does he’s never extra sweatty on camera.

I could never watch Patrick Ewing when he played. And my poor girl Whitney Houston. She’s the worse case I’ve seen on a woman.

There are some people who really don’t mind it though. Especially on guys, because it’s “manly” LOL

By Cemeeli

June 25, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

Alvin hey you.

By The Melo

June 25, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this

Thanks for that link ared, my wife is planning a summer trip for the church kids,i think they will finds that interesting…..

By Kym aka Contessa of Rapturous Delights

June 25, 2008 10:24 AM | Link to this

SlimOne It is the new rope course they have you harnessed up and the rope courses differ depending on your skill level..the highest is 40 feet up.

By AmazonRed

June 25, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this

Ared they have an eggtoberfest in october. You can buy one after that and save about 200-300 bux. Of course you’ll miss the summer. LOL

Oooh Truth, thank you. I figure I might as well spend the money and get a good grill now instead of upgrading year after year. Heck, I’ll pop the door on the garage and start grilling in October. LOL

By AmazonRed

June 25, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this

melo - Thank Foots. She posted the link. But I think it is a great summer trip. I’ve done paintball in the summer too and let me tell you… save that for fall! LOL

By The Melo

June 25, 2008 10:29 AM | Link to this

my bad,i meant footsy,thanks girl….

By Alvin

June 25, 2008 10:30 AM | Link to this

I went from old school Chevy’s to drop top porches You couldn’t walk a mile off in my Air Forces And you ain’t seen what I’ve seen I can get a 100,000 in these Sean John jeans I went from old school Chevy’s to drop top porches And you ain’t did what I did If you from where I’m from you gotta get how you live

Cee, 6’1, Jam, MLL, QC, Mo, sexy SUP!!

By SexyCool

June 25, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this

i’m a softBALLer…it’s how coach and i met…LOVES it…

we also enjoy a few good tennis matches from time to time…

that being said…obviously, i have no problem sweating or being around someone who is sweating while engaged in recreational activities…

HOWEVER…if yo @ss is in the club or sitting at the bar in a restaurant and your underarms look like they’ve been crying buckets and you’re just looking overall kinda a greasy…that is so NOT sexy…

By Kym aka Contessa of Rapturous Delights

June 25, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this

If anyone is interested in seeing more of Georgia when dating.. the state parks have all kinds of festivals and entertainment..throughout the summer and as we go into fall..there is always the State Fair in Perry, GA (nothing like a fair corndog and carnival rides..for fun.)

By Cemeeli

June 25, 2008 10:32 AM | Link to this

I’m going to do something nice for me and SO for Jill Scott at Chastain July 30.

kimmie you all in my thoughts…private picnics are perfect @ concerts. I’m jonesin’ for Jill Scott tickets. birthday time

Hey *Blue. I can’t take this heat! Now what? *you said i’m what type of chic?

By Raqi

June 25, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this

We have planned a fishing trip for this weekend or the next. I haven’t scaled a fish since I lived with my parents. Fishing is a day long activity however extremely relaxing. The last time I went I even baited my own hooks. Live squid squirming in your hand…eeww.

And I always leave the beheading and gutting to someone else.

kimmie you cater picnic baskets? Really? Wow. I wouldn’t have ever imagined someone having that done, but good for you.

By Foots

June 25, 2008 10:38 AM | Link to this

Slim I’m not sure if you heard but Stone Mountain has some new type of obstacle course you can do.

Yeah!! That looks like fun, I was just checking it out on their website. I could really get into something like that.

Truth It’s tiring, but very satisfying. At least you’ve made progress traveling down the river. Then halfway through, they make you carry the dayum raft on your head to get around the dam. I felt like I really accomplished something when I was done. Back then, I had my tap dancer legs/thighs. There was no way I was falling out of that raft, but I was so sore afterwards from keeping myself in. Bunch of fun though. Especially in a bikini.

Amazon And my poor girl Whitney Houston. She’s the worse case I’ve seen on a woman.

Janet Jackson can fill Lake Lanier back up by herself when she gets to sweating.

By Cemeeli

June 25, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this

Summer date:

1) Riding or driving a convertible around the Atlanta strips with your hair down, really long sundress (yes Bella showing some skin), great music on headed to the park or a show.

2) Picnic and food/drink filled cooler.

3) Super Soaker fights. (yes sir)

By QC

June 25, 2008 10:43 AM | Link to this

Jill Scott @ Chastain 7/31..hmmm

By Alvin

June 25, 2008 10:44 AM | Link to this

You and me together picture perfect I’ll spend all my money, all my time because you worth it It’s just me and you, you, you What you wanna do, do, do Make a move

Call me momma Spoil ya like a baby Thinkin’ bout cha, dreaming bout cha got me going crazy What you wanna do, do, do Now it’s me and you, you, you

True words from a real woman.

By QC

June 25, 2008 10:45 AM | Link to this

Hello Alvin/Demi/Cape Crusader

If you’re flying this way today be sure to wear your Cotton White Tee Shirt Cape..it’s gonna be a hot one downtown

By The Truth

June 25, 2008 10:48 AM | Link to this

Foots when we did it we started down stream. I’m thinking “this is alot of fun”. Then we had to turn around and head upstream and I’m thinking “SOB, Mf’er, phluck this”. LMAO We were racing though so I had to keep it tight. I still have pics.

You spend alot of time scantily clothed or hanging from a pole. Have you made an occupation change we should know about? I got a stack of ones ready for the show. LOL

Dan I just talked with Candace and she said she’ll stay with the NBA baller vs getting with a cat that won’t let her super size her hamburger. Just thought I’d pass that along. LMAO

By kimmie

June 25, 2008 10:53 AM | Link to this

Raqi - Yeah, I don’t do it that often, but it is a market for it. I think Affairs to Remember & some of the larger catering companies do it, in fact you can purchase them sometimes ready-made at Chastain or call ahead and pick it up at the park. I don’t mind doing it, but on a very small scale, usually for folks I know so I can use their basket & accessories or let them borrow mine(I like everything to look cute & professional!). It’s fun though. Usually when I go with my friends its understood that I am doing the food - they just hand over the money! I get a little creative and go beyond the usually wings & potato salad!

Cee - I got my tickets thru my job, but if you want to go you better jump on it, cause it’s about sold out, the decent seats anyway. I actually don’t mind the lawn, but last year when I was there it was not as much space as it used to be on the lawn! I guess they gotta make that money!

By AmazonRed

June 25, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this

You spend alot of time scantily clothed or hanging from a pole. Have you made an occupation change we should know about?

LMAO! Truth you are stoopid.

By Cemeeli

June 25, 2008 10:59 AM | Link to this

4)

What about asking a date to join you in a drive/ride to the small quaint towns and just explore the atmoshpere? I think that is hella cool.

By SexyLeggs

June 25, 2008 11:04 AM | Link to this

You guys have a great day. I’m swamped, and I’m leaving at 2:00.

By aggressively witty

June 25, 2008 11:04 AM | Link to this

Cemelli, be careful about driving and exploring those small quaint towns. Like Steve Harvey said, ” Atlanta is one thing, but if you drive 30 miles in any direction outside the perimeter you in GAWJA!”

Gun racks and confederate flags rule the roost in Gawja. Explore at your own risk.

By QC

June 25, 2008 11:05 AM | Link to this

My coworker just sitting at their desk passin gas! So i start spraying my Lysol (Linen Scent) they had the nerve to say “that lysol smell is bothering my allergies.. so i said “hell, the smell of you passin gas is bothering my breathing!” ewwww

QC now stepping out on the back steps to breath

By Foots

June 25, 2008 11:05 AM | Link to this

Truth You are silly! Shoot, I’m still paying them to hang from their poles. I guess there’s not much of a future in pole tricking for me. Good thing I got this MBA! LOL!!

We never did the upstream rafting. We were always going with the flow of the river. The bus takes you to the start of the course and back to the base operation. I don’t know what I would do if they asked us to turn around and paddle back.

By Foots

June 25, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this

Cee What about asking a date to join you in a drive…

Girl, I got to the part about “drive” and I had to stop right there. Gas is HIGH! If I drive, I have to be going someplace specific now. But driving around viewing scenery used to be a good and fun idea before 2005.

By The Melo

June 25, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this

your underarms look like they’ve been crying buckets and you’re just looking overall kinda a greasy…that is so NOT sexy… do u see that kinda stuff often in public placesSxyCool…..maybe from the older wmen….A wmen generally look fly on the outside in public places…u have to wait until u get to their homes/office to get the real deal on their clean/dirty habits…….. I heard Wanda the other day talking about washing her hair or something to that effect, in the kitchen sink…is this a common thing with u ladies…My wife tells me its more common in black hseholds than i think….i just thoght there is no justification for dwnloading dudu in the kitchen sink just coz u got detergent to clean it up and then put in ur vegetables in there.Is this ur experience ladies?

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

June 25, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this

Good day all

I love the summer months. It allows me to get out and do so many things….cook outs, hiking, boat rides (NY),just lounging by the pool eating ice cream, a super soaker or water balloon fight, jet skiing, para-sailing, snorkeling (since asthmatics are allowed to scuba) and lots of other things. If I do go out on a date..those are the things I like to do. In the winter months you are limited. Well I ice skate..but I don’t know any dudes here who do that. Back home that was a date for me….Central Park ice skating!

Truth *If you go pick up a chick in the summer and she’s wearing a turtleneck with full length leather she’s sending you a hell of a message Ummmm…maybe I should do that! You think I’ll pass out? LOL

6’1 that is quite a spread…I’ll have the fruit…thanks! Watchin’ my figure…

Foots I think I will be hiking Stone Mountain this Saturday. Have you ever went to Movie on the Green? I want to go. It seems like fun. But there may be too many kids for me. Staceye can’t deal with a bunch screaming crying brats!

I watched the 2008 BET Awards last night and I have this to say…

-Usher lip-synched…AGAIN!

-Ne-Yo did his thing. He got the Jabber-wakkies to come dance with him. They are from that MTV dance show. I love them.

-Keisha Cole was horrible…she forgot her song and tried to dance. Why did they let her ghetto azz mom and sister introduce her? He sister was one cough away from a tt popping out. *FCC fine please!

• I liked A. Keys bringing out the girl groups. En Vogue still got it. SWV was dried up and T-Boz’ voice was like ash in her throat! And her outfit looked like it came from rainbow!

-Who told Rick Ross’ fat azz to come out shirtless showing that nasty saggy belly? WTF???? I was eating…lost my appetite in fear of replicating that look. Now doing 500 crunches and eating air pie and nothing souffle’! Now let a female come out like that…they would talk so much sh*t. The industry is so much harder on women. We have to look perfect. But men can have bellies sagging to their kneecaps and no one criticizes them. Hence the reason I am losing weight now!

-WTF is up with Chris Brown’s hair? Ciara looked and did so nice on her dance with him. Work it girl…

-I was glad NOT to see Beyonce! Thank God!

-Either Jennifer Hudson lost some weight or she was rockin’ Spanx….I think it was a combo of both. She looked good.

-Maxwell’s haircut made him look 50!

-Puffy, Diddy or whatever the heck his name is now makes my skin crawl. He was a snake in a tux!

-Solange needs to just sit down…she will always be in her sister’s shadow.

-Cassie should just model because she’s pretty…but she can not sing!

-DL Hugley made me laugh…he talked sh*t about everybody! he scaled it back so he would not get fined by the FCC.

-Neicy Nash cracked me up when she said go adopt some white kids and how they made her credit score go up. Then she gave them ghetto names!

And that folks is my BET Awards round up…..LOL

By kimmie

June 25, 2008 11:15 AM | Link to this

AggWitt - Okay, we can’t grill because of carcinogens, we can drive 30 miles outside the city because of gun-toting hillbillies! I’m from GA & been all over it, nobody bothers me, just use common sense, as with anywhere. As for the food, any and everything in moderation. Are we just a bit paranoid? You’re taking the fun out of a fun topic, man! Here, have a nice, strong frozen drink on me!LOL

By Blue Kolla

June 25, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this

Melo My wife tells me its more common in black hseholds than i think….i just thoght there is no justification for dwnloading dudu in the kitchen sink just coz u got detergent to clean it up and then put in ur vegetables in there.Is this ur experience ladies?

Slim Go’ead and get him. ^^^

By Cemeeli

June 25, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this

kimmie @ ATR we did a private picnic once and all they wanted was beverages. The food was barely touched. You now how much Affairs charge for that? Girl, too much. The Fox, Atlanta History Center, 1420 Room and a spot on Ponce are very popular for private events (i mean some have done the entire facility for 2 ppl). Had one at the Aquarium and that mess was wicked expensive.

Oh gulr, i’m not jumping on those JS tickets to soon becuase everyone knows that i’m a fan (hint…hint) that is my “birthday time”. I have one possible gift from a frnd as of lst wk, she called & was hinting to if my schedule is free for “The Color Purple” show. i dunno

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

June 25, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli What about asking a date to join you in a drive/ride to the small quaint towns and just explore the atmoshpere? I think that is hella cool used to do it back home. Drive upstate to spots in NY that are little and country. Tarrytown is cool. We went looking for Ichabad Crane. No luck! LOL Now would I do that here…Heck nah. I do not want to drive in parts where ther don’t like “my kind” and end up ona milk carton. Too many back woods places to bury my body! And the other…gas is to d*mn high to be driving without a stopping destinantion and purpose for drivng there.

By QC

June 25, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this

Staceye…LOL I missed the first hour but you know BET will show that program at least 99 more times

By AmazonRed

June 25, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this

i just thoght there is no justification for dwnloading dudu in the kitchen sink just coz u got detergent to clean it up and then put in ur vegetables in there.Is this ur experience ladies?

Huh? Is this english? Downloading dudu? Huh?

By PornStar* in da Building (**6'1**)

June 25, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this

Staceye I love the “A” But there is nothing like summers uptop. I miss that a lot. I am going up there in August.

By Alvin

June 25, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

If you’re flying this way today be sure to wear your Cotton White Tee Shirt Cape..it’s gonna be a hot one downtown

QC I don’t see Demi flyin around Atlanta in Whitie-tighties and a wife B…white white “Meet the Browns” gators no time soon…I Help not

By Cemeeli

June 25, 2008 11:24 AM | Link to this

awitty you know, you’re right. I’m from the south (GA born/raised). A sis is a bit more informed about Forsyth and some other neck/boot counties. Lol…

Driving out to, N. Augusta Riverwalk, North GA mountians or even to Savannah is not so bad…

…3.97 x 14gals = (2 1/2times)=…okay Foots i see your point. lol

By SlimOne

June 25, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this

2e’S I agree that Keyshia Cole needed a do-over or something. And her doing all the ad-lib runs didn’t help the situation. Her sister…Um…can you say MO MATERIAL PLEASE!. She was scared to move her arms for fear the BET Awards would’ve turned into a BoobFest. Lil Kim…um…she was about to lose her pants…ever since she messed herself up with that plastic surgery I just can’t take her seriously anymore.Rick Ross was wrong for the ‘hang out with my belly out’ performance..but funny nonetheless. I miss the sounds of Maxwell but him cutting his hair made him look….weird. And whatever happened to that O So Krispie chick that was to perform with TLC? Gabrielle Union coulda use a lil less oil. Look like someone dunced her in a pan of Crisco. lol Jennifer Hudson did look great.

By The Melo

June 25, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this

ur round up is perfect Mamba..Alicia keys did the right thing bring up SWV and TLC but boy did they sound/look washed up…..esp the lead swv singer,she cldnt get her vocals and just as well,they made it short… i wanna live as long as Quincy next time DL and Al Green are in twn, i will go check them out..they were both good.. Neicy Nash waz hilarious… And Miami is just a bad habitat,esp for blacks,u can tell by the pple coming outa there(Rick Ross)

By Vacationing Teach F.K.A. kinderbabe

June 25, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this

staceye they needed you on for the post show on BET. great recap.:)

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

June 25, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this

6’1 I will be home next Wednesday. Gotta go see my sexy men play hoops at the King Dome. My ex played in those…they nicknamed him the Wrestler because he was bigger than everyone…6’8…260 of muscle. Oh my…clutch the pearls and all of that! LOL

By aggressively witty

June 25, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this

Ok Ok kimmie you right! But no frozen drinks for me. I am a man damnit. gimmie makers mark and ginger ale, or a scotch and water please.

By Raqi

June 25, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this

LOL Foots you are right. Gas prices are horrific. I am at the point now where I try to find free stuff to do right here in Atlanta cause just driving there is puts a dent in my entertainment budget big time.

By abc

June 25, 2008 11:35 AM | Link to this

Huh, get outta here with being afraid to travel the state due to being black. Buncha white folks would say the same thing about going into Atlanta, and they’d be wrong too. Go where you want to go, nobody will stop you.

Especially if you go there to spend some money. The country folk will be more than happy to see your dollars.

Ellijay, Blue Ridge, Blairsville, Hiawassee, up into N.C, Tennessee and the Smokies. Catch a cool mountain breeze in the summertime. Don’t bother going south from Atlanta, it just gets hotter, there’s nothing there, lived there, know better — unless you’re heading for the beach, then go to Santa Rosa, Rosemary, Gulf Shores. West Panama City Beach or Destin/Ft. Walton will do in a pinch.

By Cemeeli

June 25, 2008 11:35 AM | Link to this

Foots what about Macon Ga.? 1 tank full gets you back and forth and not a single problem driving 80mph. (oh sorry i never do that).

By SlimOne

June 25, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this

Truth i just thoght there is no justification for dwnloading dudu in the kitchen sink I apologize for my confusion. I thought you were inquiring about women washing their hair in the sink, not about you taking a wash up, scrubbing your azz with the kitchen towel and brillo padding your ballz. Is that why your kitchen table and tv trays smell sour? You know you gotta soak them jokas in a bleach, arsenic, and hydrochloric acid mix.

By Kym aka Contessa of Rapturous Delights

June 25, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this

Aggwitty it is really not that bad..like kimmie said..I am a native of Georgia and while I will admit there are places that still lack paved roadways..(I saw quite a few last year) there are alot more black people in these small towns than you think. I was in Douglas, GA last year and while I can’t say I would drive it at night(lack of street lights and the deer own the roads down that way) but during the day it is absolutely beautiful. I know the site of cotton fields remind folks of Gone with the Wind..but when they are in bloom they are actually beautiful..and the farm that I visited was black owned and black run.

By The Melo

June 25, 2008 11:43 AM | Link to this

inquiring about women washing their hair in the sink exactly,i just kinda expressed my opinion on what i think about the practice…kinda like s** in same place that u put ur edible stuff…..

By wed

June 25, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

Where is a good spot to go jst skiing & parasailing not too far away.

By abc

June 25, 2008 11:46 AM | Link to this

MACON?! You could see the Macon Music (sort of) play ball if they haven’t folded yet, after their first season; I went to see them last year, I couldn’t believe how awful they were, it was comical. The Hay House is interesting; GA Music Hall of Fame, Lake Blackshear, else it’s just a rather shabby looking town of under 100,000 people that suffers from economic depression. Oh, go see the Air Museum at Robins AFB in Warner Robins, about 15 miles or so south of Macon, it’s quite excellent! The town itself is not much to see, though — but, the 4th of July concert and fireworks are decent in WR, too.

By Cemeeli

June 25, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this

abc i think awitty was meaning just be cautious of your surroundings. ithink I have explored my home state and surrounding 5 and have never been bothered. Like kimmie said it’s all about what you’re doing there.

By aggressively witty

June 25, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this

Folks, calm down. It was a joke, hence the Steve harvey reference - you know steve harvey host of Kings of Comedy. I didnt realize native Georgians were so sensitive. Not for nothing though, the outskirts of Georgia ARE in fact more racist than Atlanta. i live in snellville and my kid goes to school in Dacula. He has been called a n**** on more than one occasion, So dont give me the everything is peaches n cream. The last thing you want to do on a date is to be called out of your name or looked at crazy while you trying to have a good time.

By Alvin

June 25, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this

SlimOne That was Melo

Melo It’s all the same…once you get to Dade County, clothes coming off is a must…it doesn’t matter if you are bad bodied….Rick is taking that “BOSS” thing a bit too far…

Ciara can ride me any day…*I am taller than Bow, just poorer…T-Pain slow walk was too funny.

By SlimOne

June 25, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this

abc get outta here with being afraid to travel the state due to being black That reminds me of a time some friends and I went to Tennessee for a mutual friends graduation. We walked the main strip where all the bars, clubs & restaurants are…we ended up going into probably one of the most countriest bars in there. We were the only black folk. They looked at us funny but we knocked back a few beers and dared someone to say something out the way. lol

Correction My 11:38 was for melo not Truthie

By Foots

June 25, 2008 11:54 AM | Link to this

abc Go where you want to go, nobody will stop you.

They won’t stop you, but they WILL stare at you like they are waiting for you to get up and start shooting or something. Seriously. I went to Blue Ridge in April for a cabin trip. (If y’all go, rent with My Mountain Cabin Rentals.) I stopped at the Ingles to get my groceries for the weekend and you would have thought I had two heads and six breasts. Then I went to eat at a local BBQ spot, which was really good, but I couldn’t even digest my food good because the waitress stopped cleaning to sit down and keep an eye on me.

Now, I’m from South GA, so I’m used to some of this stuff, but S. GA is nothing compared to extreme N. GA when it comes to racial curiosity. The people at the cabin were really nice though.

Cee I have an aunt who lives in Macon, so we go there a lot. Nothing much to see, unless you’re interested in Confederate battlegrounds, Cherry Blossoms, or gangs. I loved it when I was a kid though.

By Raqi

June 25, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this

Small Midday Rant:

Men, do not be surprised when your lady gets up in arms about you forgetting to give her more than 7 hours notice about plans of having invited a gang of folks to the house for dinner. It is not the same or to even be compared to her inviting guest over and only giving you same day notice. You normally spend the evening talking to only about a third of the folks (in front of the big screen) that she invites over, but she has to cook for the entire mass of individuals that you have coming.

It ain’t the same. Hmph!!!

By Raqi

June 25, 2008 11:58 AM | Link to this

aggwit Tough crowd, huh??? LOL

By The Melo

June 25, 2008 11:59 AM | Link to this

Alvin, i have pple express hw they are thankful of being out of miami,otherwise their lives wld have gone to the dogs..one of my wife’s clients,Wanda Smith and i knw SJ300 is from there and has said sme stuff on here about it(correct me SJ if im wrong) Looks like its a good place to party and visit but never to be born and stay, i guess coz of sme negative stuff in and around it eg drug activity..i dnt know but i have that perception….i been to ft lauderdale,pretty,but never miami proper…..

By The Truth

June 25, 2008 12:02 PM | Link to this

Did I miss something? Did someone post under my name? I never said anything about a sink and I can’t find the post. What time was it posted?

ABC I’m with you on the go where you’re going thing. I’ve travelled all over south and north ga and never had a problem. Fugg an ingorant redneck. You all give them way to much power. If they ever approach you and you want to confuse them just ask them who their biological father is. When that confused look covers his face walk away. LOL

WEd I don’t know about parasailing around here but I can recommend Reynolds plantation for jet skiing. The reason that spot stays in mind is that you can view some beautiful homes while you’re out cruising the boulevard. 2nd only to south florida.

Staceye nice BET roundup. You may have found your calling. LOL BTW, we’re not in NY so driving in those mountains won’t be happening. Let’s keep it local. Smooches

By Alvin

June 25, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this

A.W I will admit, there are a few places in Ga I say my a$$ out of…I mostly roll alone so I just pick and choose my spots

I remember when get was $1.19…I thought I was a Tri-state player for real fo reel.

Me: Gurl you want me to meet you where?

Girl: Greenville, SC.

Me: I’ll be there in one hour and 30minutes.

By Kym aka Contessa of Rapturous Delights

June 25, 2008 12:05 PM | Link to this

aggwitty I will grant you the racist part.

When I was in high school I saw my first KKK fundraiser. The science club went camping(man I have been camping since then wow) anywhoo we went camping in the N. GA Mountains near the Applachian Trail. We normally stopped at the Mickie D’s just outside of there to get lunch before going to our campsite to check in. So here we are a carpool of all black students with our teachers and advisors(mostly white) driving and who is collecting money outside of the Mickie D’s but the KKK in full robes-no hoods but with all the patches. I don’t know who was more shocked them or us. I just remember my teacher signally to the other cars we are not stopping here..keep going.

We grabbed lunch at a little diner down the way and when we got to our campground our teacher apologized for the b**tards and said we not let those(insert any cuss word here-he used them all) will not let them wreck our trip. It was the first time I heard any teacher cuss like that. But it was a eye-opening reminder that we were not in Atlanta anymore.

By Raqi

June 25, 2008 12:06 PM | Link to this

Foots you must have visited BlueRidge during the full moon. LOL We have been several times and have never had any one look as if we didn’t belong.

By Cemeeli

June 25, 2008 12:09 PM | Link to this

awitty i got the joke hence my return, i’ve observe the neck/boot concept in the small towns. It has scaled down over the years.

I regret that happened to your son. dang

abc yes Macon sweetie (was throwing it out b/c it’s closer). It’s a date, so really he and i infuse the environment or maybe it will entertain us. 2. He’s too preoccupied to even care or remember most of, if any, if the small town was insipid.

By From A Lady

June 25, 2008 12:10 PM | Link to this

I need your help!

Yesterday, I had an issue where I had to call the police (very small issue). Anyways, I waited for about an hour. Finally I see a black and white pull into the parking lot. I wave him down so he can see that it was me who called him. Girlfriends, why did he step out of the car in slow motion (like in the movies) looking all fine and shiit. This brotha was hot!!! He was about 5’10, 200 lbs, light skin, wore sexy eye glasses, shadow beard, posture was to die for, bald head, 33 years old, sensitive to my problem, very caring.

After the issue was resolved, I wanted to ask him out. I did feel a vibe. Is it appropriate to ask a police officer out while on call? He gave me his card with much enthusiasm and shook my hand so tenderly. Would you call him? I didn’t notice a ring, because I forgot to look for one.

By Atl Lady

June 25, 2008 12:11 PM | Link to this

Witty LMAO @ the GAWJA joke.

Truth LMAO @ the waterrafting upstream.

All of you are reminding me of the stuff I like to do in the Summertime. Good blog Bella.

By aggressively witty

June 25, 2008 12:14 PM | Link to this

Raqi thats cause you went AFTER foots. Foots was the jackie robinson nof the BlueRidge. Your Larry Doby family wasnt nothing new after her. LOL.

Alvin, you aint said nothing bout gas brother! I remember when Gas at quicktrip on flatshoals road was $.77 a gallon! SEVENTY SEVEN CENTS. mannnnnn I would toll at the drop of a dime. Thats when I had the fresh Geo prizm and I got 900 miles to a tank. I would ride anywhere and everywhere. Ahhhh the good ole gas days.

By Rell

June 25, 2008 12:17 PM | Link to this

the awards for me

usher -yawn..can do better

kiesha - i was like huh?/lil kim looks like a moving sex doll….i want one!!!

jezzy - did aiight and kayne still mad about that bonnaroo thing so he tried to hard in my opinion

ne-yo…still seems gay to me..but he kilt it literally..ABDC..did there thing

Chris brown…needs to pay ciara…i want one of her too

thank god for alicia keys….she had me downloading music last night…hot hot hot…and that is a thick women….so if you bigger than alicia and think you are thick…no your overwieght

the al green tribute….off the chain

warren sapp….LMAO….i dont listen to gospel but that song is hot

…/ now that is entertainment!!!!!!

T-WAYNE….i dont get it….the whole set i did not get…but the kids like it

but one time for mel b, gabbi union, Cindy from envogue, nia long, ashanti..hate the laugh but love the body…she is a thick women as well…dayumm….alicia…yea that about made me happy right there!!

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

June 25, 2008 12:19 PM | Link to this

BET needs to come holla at me…I can round up show in heartbeat. Now I may get fined by the FCC because of my filterless mouth! But can you say high ratings? LOL And my voice is not as annoying as Tocarra and Roxy! I could be the Non-Tranny Ms. Sophia and do a live version of Girl Talk for them!

Ok…I know we talk about the battle of the sexes on here a lot. But I think I have found the man who’s balls have been chopped off and bronzed and put ont he fireplace mantle by the crazy btch married to him. This dude not only is balless…but he is spineless. Ok..here goes…I must warn you…it’s long but will have to saying WTF???*

SACRAMENTO—Jackie Christie, wife of NBA star Doug Christie, refused to let a female doctor save her husband’s life Saturday when he nearly choked to death during a dinner at the Pilothouse Restaurant in Sacramento . Christie frantically screamed for a doctor after her husband began gagging on a chicken bone, but when Clarissa Jordan, a 41-year-old female doctor, rushed to his aid, Christie grew agitated. She reportedly told Jordan t o “back off” even as Doug’s face turned purple and his breath came out in short, labored gasps.

Bystanders watched in horror as Jackie Christie calmly waited for a male patron to save her husband’s life. Luckily, Sanjay Mehta, a local medical student who was sitting at the bar in an adjacent room, was able to apply the Heimlich maneuver just in time to avert a tragedy. The chicken bone came up, and Jackie defended her decision not to let a female doctor save her husband.

“Miss Clarissa Jordan, or whatever her name is, came running over like a poodle in heat,” said Christie. “I could tell she was lusting after my husband, which is why I wouldn’t let her near him. Sure, she’s a doctor, but that’s a great way to get her little tongue down my husband’s throat. Believe me, I’m no fool. Plus, m y husband would never want a female doctor saving his life. He’d feel too guilty having another woman lay her hands on him. He’d rather die. I’m sure of it.”

Bystanders reported that Christie was not satisfied to simply wave Jordan away. Instead, she began beating the woman with her purse until the horrified doctor fled in terror. Christie said those claims were exaggerated, but did admit to “getting physical with her.”

“I wouldn’t say I beat her that hard. I just was trying to deter her from her ultimate goal of having sex with my dying husband,” said Christie. “Yes, I hit her a couple time with my purse, but I had to. The woman was relentless! She kept saying ‘He’s going to die! He’s going to die!’ And I was like ‘Whatever, b***. Keep your hands to yourself.’”

After Jordan fled the scene, another female attempted to call 9-1-1, but she, too, was thwarted by Jackie Christie. The women, 29-year-old waitress Cheryl Malcolm, insisted that she was just trying to help.

“After that woman [Jordan] got beat up, I realized Doug was still choking,” she said. “So I ran over, grabbed my cell phone and started dialing 9-1-1. Then [Christie] slapped the phone out of my hand and told me to mind my business and stop looking at her husband like that. I had no idea what she was talking about. I would never look at that guy in a sexual way. Gross.”

After Malcolm was turned away, it looked like the end for Doug Christie. The Kings forward lay in a heap on the floor, his face bulging and red, his fists clenched, and his throat clogged with a large chicken bone, while Jackie sat with her arms folded and waited.

“I don’t know the Heimlich maneuver or anything like that, so I didn’t want to try anything that would hurt my baby,” said Christie. “I was getting a little nervous, especially when his eyes started bulging out of his head, but I knew if I waited long enough, some guy would come along and save him. If not, Doug would have been killed. But it’s Ok. I made him promise to come back and haunt me after he dies.”

Dr. Mehta was summoned into the room by a frantic patron who witnessed the choking. After he administered the Heimlich to Christie, he noted that if another moment had passed, Doug would’ve surely perished.

“I am extremely surprised that this man’s wife did now allow Miss Jordan to save his life,” said Mehta. “If another minute had gone by, he would surely be dead. In my country, this mad woman woul d have her hands cut off and her vagina sewn shut.”

After being revived, Doug hugged his wife and breathed a sigh of relief. He thanked Dr. Mehta for saving his life, and recalled the final moments before he was rescued.

“Whew, that was a close call,” said Christie, wiping the sweat off his brow. “I actually saw scenes from my life flashing by. The funny thing was that my wife was in all of the scenes, even the ones from my childhood before I met her. She was just there in the background with her arms folded, shaking her head disapprovingly. Huh. I bet a shrink would have a field day with that one, huh? A male shrink, of course.”

After thanking Dr.. Mehta, Christie also offered some words of gratitude to his wife.

“Although I am glad to be alive, I’m equally glad that my wife spared me the indignity of having anot her woman give me th e Heimlich,” he continued. “That would’ve been catastrophic. Even if I had lived, what kind of life what that have been, knowing that I looked at,