Misadventures in Atlanta

By anonymousella

June 30, 2008 8:41 AM | Link to this

where in atlanta do you find these cultured, polished and wealthy dudes?

clearly this is a sign that i need to get out more.

By SlimOne

June 30, 2008 8:52 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All looking forward to this 3-day weekend

By Blow Me......PLEASE blow me!!

June 30, 2008 8:53 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Beautiful PPL

Yes…great topic. I am dealing with this now…He is my CROWN Royal on Ice. Cool guy..I thought he was a bad guy. But he is really trying to turn his life around which is a great thing. The reform bad boys are the sexiest.

I do think some guys are wrongly labeled…Real Talk..Let’s take some of the guys on here…Yeah some of them don’t have a sleeve tatted arms but these fools with suits on making 6 figures are BAD guys too…So lets talk about it…Not the ones tatted up and wearing his RED monkey jeans low and showing his boxers…with a fresh pair of nikes on. These corporate dummies….running amuck too. Players and bad guys come in different packages.

I will not lie…You have got to have some back bone to deal with me. I do not want to be able to run over you. I like mine with 40% aggressive, 20% with major swag, 20% self confident, other 20% unselfish and sensitive. Aggressive guys come in all types. But please have some BACK BONE!!!

I like to see where someone head is first. Looks can sometimes be deceiving.

By AmazonRed

June 30, 2008 8:56 AM | Link to this

Happy Monday everyone. Yet another blissful weekend in Atlanta. Summer, summer summertime!

Ladies, do you prefer the bad boy type with a little edge?

No. The only thing a bad boy can do for me is point me to the direction of the good guy. No I don’t want a pushover, but I don’t want someone who considers themselves bad. It means they are bad at something! LOL

By QC

June 30, 2008 8:57 AM | Link to this

Morning Bloggers I hope you all have a great day…great Monday topic WD i’m it’ll bring family members out of Lurkesville, GA today..HOlla!

By anonymousella

June 30, 2008 9:06 AM | Link to this

i guess i need a working definition of “bad boy.” when i think “bad boy” i think of someone unreliable, whose employment may not be legal (or who has legal employment and a shady a** side hustle), or someone who has offspring that he is not tending to.

h3ll naw i don’t want one of those.

but if we’re talking about someone who’s confident and makes women drool, i don’t think he’s a bad boy. now i might not date him because i’d have to cut a broad that got out of line. but that doesn’t make him bad. that just makes me a lil bit crazy. … LOL

and again: where in the eff do you find these polished, cultured and/or wealthy dudes?

By Foot2Azz

June 30, 2008 9:24 AM | Link to this

Terms like bad boy, thug, goon, or even swag does not equate ain’t worth a damn in my book. Simply because each term is interchangable, no one is as innocent as they look just as no one is a complete bad azz 24/7. One can be a millionaire and posses all the material wealth in the world, but you can lose all of those things in the blink of an eye. If all a man truly has is his word and his balls then you’re either a stand up guy who honors his word or doesn’t.

By SlimOne

June 30, 2008 9:29 AM | Link to this

anon Maybe you can try hanging out in the W Hotel bar area. I saw a chick there Saturday night that looked like she was working. lol

By AmazonRed

June 30, 2008 9:30 AM | Link to this

If all a man truly has is his word and his balls then you’re either a stand up guy who honors his word or doesn’t.

Amen.

By Foot2Azz

June 30, 2008 9:30 AM | Link to this

Correction: Terms like bad boy, thug, goon, or even swag does not equate to anything to me and ain’t worth a damn in my book.

By Teresa

June 30, 2008 9:44 AM | Link to this

Morn Bloggers

By Mombasa

June 30, 2008 9:45 AM | Link to this

How much of a bad boy are you willing to tango with? This is a negative/red flag to me. Why at all would a women want to be with a man who has this type of rep? If she is attracted to this type, she’s probably bad herself or was raised a pk kid or close to.

Good monday Bloggers!

By The Truth

June 30, 2008 9:52 AM | Link to this

I’d like to officially announce the death of “the bad guy” ( said with my Scarface in the restaurant scene voice). Doing things bad boys used to do would get you killed or at least put in jail now.

A true bad boy doesn’t give a fugg about the rules. He does things his own way. His way always goes against societies rules hence his attraction.

Anon where in the eff do you find these polished, cultured and/or wealthy dudes? They’re alot easier to find if you were a polished, cultured, wealthy chick. You are exposed to the perfect guys for your mental postition. If you want to up your prospects up your mental game because the guy you think you’re looking for has absolutely no desire to talk with you about the things that occupy your brain at this moment. That’s why the 2 of you haven’t run across each other yet. Believe it or not he’d think you were a crude, boring, uneducated, unworldly broad not worthy of his time or attention. (General disclaimer here about not you in particular because yada yada yada…I don’t know you personally yada yada yada…yada yada yada)

Either up your game or lower your expectations.

Has anyone seen “Wanted” yet? I’m thinking about catching a matinee.

I read this weekend that the highest HIV rate increase is 13-24 yo black males having what’s called MSM(Men having sex with men). WTF??? They’re not homosexual but just have sex with other men/boys as an option. WOW

Foot2Azz that balls and his word thing sounds good as a soundbite but doesn’t fly in real life. The only way to truly honor your word is not give it. It’s just words said in the moment. Don’t believe the hype. A good example is these chicks in here talking about honoring their vows. Nobodies honest because the system isn’t honest.

By Mombasa

June 30, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this

How many times have I heard my “edgy” guy friends proclaim that they refuse to “trip over some broad”.. a lot! Me too! Those are the ones who stop by your house unexpected and call until you pick up. It’s all talk. Guys who tell you what their NOT going to do ——-> look at them sideways.

By Foots

June 30, 2008 9:59 AM | Link to this

Good morning! Three-day weekend can’t come fast enough…

Ladies, do you prefer the bad boy type with a little edge?

I prefer confident, manly men with a tender side. No bad boys for me. I know that my man is just as likely to pet a puppy as he is to knock a dude the f/k out. He knows when to fight and when to laugh and walk away. He is the happy medium that I can get down with and be down for. No bad boys for Foots (or Poots, depending on my daily fiber intake).

By From A Lady

June 30, 2008 9:59 AM | Link to this

The trap is set! I left a message yesterday. Wish me luck.

By SeanJohnson3000

June 30, 2008 10:03 AM | Link to this

Sup blog

@ Truth.. If you want to up your prospects up your mental game because the guy you think you’re looking for has absolutely no desire to talk with you about the things that occupy your brain at this moment...its a lot of truth to that..you cant belive stats bruh…i read some this weekend that said the latest highest rate was people over 50…these folks cant make up their mind

By Blow Me......PLEASE blow me!!

June 30, 2008 10:10 AM | Link to this

SJ3000 Funny you said this..I was talking to T about stats the MAN says that Blacks have. How are we the only ppl who are the highest stats for all the worst and uncurable diseases? I think its’ all apart of the plan. The last time it was young black women age 18-28…Now it’s the men! I mean come on! I don’t believe all the stats…I just find it might concidence that the WORST MOST uncurable diseases our ppl have. It’s bologna….We are the leading cases…but a miniority in the entire country….The numbers don’t like BUT ppl do! And them muhfuggas is LYING!! Ok sure we have diseases..but those numbers they are coming up with are padded….

By Foot2Azz

June 30, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

Truth I see your point, because everyone has gone back on their word at one point or another. Still, the general idea I was trying to convey is that a man has to have a code of honor that doesn’t revolve around the amount of women he beds, or how much money he makes, or who he supposedly knows. Does your personal code of honor give you the will to defend and/or protect the integrity of your woman/mother/kids/brother/sister/family name/your own reputation? It can be anything other than material wealth or the fact that you’re a playa. And truth be told each man’s code of honor would be different based on circumstances.

By DasV

June 30, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this

good morning

i cannot deal with a morally inept man. i prefer someone who knows the rules to the game on both sides of the fence…. who can adapt his m.o. to whateva comes up. but not someone who starts out wrong and works to go right. i’d much rather be with someone who starts out right with the ability to go waaay wrong if need be, as a last resort, for handling business.

By Wise Diva

June 30, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this

Good morning! Let’s try to stay on topic during the morning hours, at least. If the topic does not interest you, check back this afternoon when the random conversations are sure to come. LOL. Thanks for your cooperation, I appreciate you guys.

By SexyLeggs

June 30, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone. I’d like a man described by Foots @9:59. For the 3rd day, I’m actually doing some hard work. Enjoy the day!

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

June 30, 2008 10:24 AM | Link to this

Good day all!!!

anonymousella I am with your 8:41 post…where are these men…and are they straight?

Blow Me He is my CROWN Royal on Ice I am more of a Henny girl…but I fill the Jill Scott sista! LOL I like a man with backbone. I can not stand clingy dude. I do not need to see you everyday…nor talk to you 3 times a day. Now at the same time I do not want the guy who thinks he can run over me, tell me what to do or thinks he can buy me. I like my with with edge because I am edgy. By edge…I do not mean disrespect. I am not talking about these miscreants that have a mouth full of gold teeth, nasty sagging pants (no one what to see you undies dude..and isn’t saggin inviting aanother dude to your azz…hmmm, suspect), they can’t speak proper English (not talking about accents, but pure lack of the grasp of the English language) and the only music they know is crap music…oops I meant Rap music. I like cultured men with open minds to try other things and is comfortable in his manhood enough watch Lifetime (and admit it). He can have his corporate gig in the dress clothes and then be able to rock jeans and kicks and relax. I do love tattoos and piercings…mmmm!

Foot2Azz If all a man truly has is his word and his balls then you’re either a stand up guy who honors his word or doesn’t. Yeah I had to cut somebody loose who could never keep his word. If a man is unreliable and doesn’t not respect my time, he gets the boot! So not worth my time.

Basically..I like a good boy with bad boy tendencies…meaning he knows when to pull it out and put it back! A Chameleon….

By Raqi

June 30, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this

Having a little edge is good, especially when it’s not obvious from the exterior. A guy that doesn’t say a whole lot but you know he means business when he speaks. A guy that comes off generally calm and smooth in his demeanor but when you get to know him that little edge just kinda cut right into you the right way.

Now a Bad Boy on the other hand is just that, BAD. From the way he looks to the way he interacts, it is all bad. Bad for you and bad to you.

By Bre'

June 30, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this

I saw Wanted Truth great action, not so much going story line. But I liked it alot, saw it yesterday. I like shot’em up movies. AJ is one bad chick in that movie.

On topic…I’m over good vs bad boy….just be a real, 100%, no doubt type of man about your business and your word. Everything else is going to be exactly what its going to be. I’ve seen the true to life bad boy inside and out then the good guy role crap…its all comes to the same…your word is your bond your actions are just energy in movement.

By Foots

June 30, 2008 10:33 AM | Link to this

However, I think others are just very mindful about not being the “needy guy” so they are sending a message that they are no pushover.

Technically, no one wants a mate who is a pushover. Unless a woman is into the dominatrix thing, she wants a man who can be in control. And unless a man wants a live-in maid instead of a partner, he wants someone who can provide a challenge for him.

There are admittedly some very flashy dudes on the dating scene.

Can I ask this? What is up with the shades-wearing dudes in the club? It’s not THAT bright in there. Can somebody who admittedly wears shades inside of venues explain this?

By For Real

June 30, 2008 10:33 AM | Link to this

What up Blog Fam!!! I can’t wait for my 5 days weekends.

Truth They’re alot easier to find if you were a polished, cultured, wealthy chick. You are so on point here. How do you expect to get something that you cannot provide. This goes back to my saying that marriage is a come for 98% of women. It’s just now men are no longer wanting to be a “come up” like those 2% of women who don’t want to be a “come up” for some dude.

Wise I think you need to ask the female again to define what a bad boy is but you already know the ladies will define Bad Boy 87 different ways.

3Stacks Do your own research… most of those studies pull a very small number of participants and then they try to extrapolate there findings across the board. If you want me to I email you stats I found out about black men that’s been toss around for years. For_Real730@yahoo.com

By For Real

June 30, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

Truth Wanted was cool. I wouldn’t pay full price tho, so go to the early show. If you like shootem up movies like me it’s good. Oh and if you want to stay in that mix of movies try the movie Shoot Em Up. For every word they spoke in the movie they shot 187 times.

By The Truth

June 30, 2008 10:42 AM | Link to this

Blow everything that comes down the pike affects us more because we are uninformed and misguided. We have no direction as a peolpe so whatever the next “thing” is we jump on it. We’ve been sold, from our own so called leaders, everything from drugs to religions. Statistically they’re right, we lead the nation in most negative categories. If you don’t believe me go visit an aids ward or prison, or just reflect on the state of your dating pool.

Foots2AZZ I understand what you were saying but in practice it’s alot harder to follow. When life was simple you just promise to go out and bring back food. Now there are a thousand things you’re responsible for and somethings gonna fall through the cracks, on a regular. For a few years I had a few chicks that would ask me to go to their xmas parties with them, in september. I’d say ok but when the time came I just didn’t feelt it. When it’s cold I like to hibernate like a bear. It taught me a great lesson. Don’t give your word and you don’t have to keep it. That was my point.

Bre I’m going on your recommendation.

Poots LMAO You’re required to give us a fiber report every morning to prevent us from being blinsided with foreign scents.

By Binford2K

June 30, 2008 10:48 AM | Link to this

It’s always funny to see a woman fall for a bad boy. Because down the road, when she tries to get him to be the good boy (oh and she will) - he bails and leave the entanglements (kids and whatever else) behind. Then she realizes, not such a good idea. Go figure.

Staceye has the right idea where you want someone who has an edge. And others have mentioned someone who challenges them and keeps them on their toes.

They don’t call bad boys bad boys because they epitomize the traits of an honorable man.

By Blue Kolla

June 30, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this

What up blog…

Foot2Azz If all a man truly has is his word and his balls then you’re either a stand up guy who honors his word or doesn’t.

Truth A true bad boy doesn’t give a fugg about the rules. He does things his own way. His way always goes against societies rules hence his attraction.

You two cats just laid it out right there, with the caveat Truth, being, “within the confines of legality”. What else is there to say?

By SeanJohnson3000

June 30, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this

from reading females responses and some what knowing them….women equate how man dress with them being a bad boy…so is it really about them wanting a bad boy or some one that can potray that image in custome…i think as women mature or if they mature …the answers will vary…

By For Real

June 30, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this

Truth Don’t give your word and you don’t have to keep it. That’s being lazy bruh and your boys wouldn’t put with that ish. We as humans are not perfect. So, no you will not keep your word 100% of the time. Like F2A said, A man has got to set a standard by which he lives his life. Now, that standard is totally up to that man and his will not be like mines but a man has to have something and it better include something about trust somewhere in his standard.

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

June 30, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this

Thank you Binford

By Blue Kolla

June 30, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this

Foots Can I ask this? What is up with the shades-wearing dudes in the club?

The same reasons chicks get on the train with them big azz, black glasses on:

QC ‘Sup…

By Foots

June 30, 2008 10:58 AM | Link to this

For Real I think you need to ask the female again to define what a bad boy is but you already know the ladies will define Bad Boy 87 different ways.

I think that MCLyte did a pretty good job of defining a bad boy in “Ruffneck”. Whatever she said, I don’t want. Love the song though. Especially when I found out what she actually said in the part that they always distorted on the radio…

By SeanJohnson3000

June 30, 2008 11:05 AM | Link to this

@ Blown, Truth and 4 Real…google Boyd Graves….read up on that cat.

By Foots

June 30, 2008 11:06 AM | Link to this

Blue Whatever the reason, it looks stupid as hellz. It does seem to attract women who are interested in the flashy type though, with all of the implications and consequences that brings.

By For Real

June 30, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this

Poots aka Foots aka Fiber Can I ask this? What is up with the shades-wearing dudes in the club?

By Foots

June 30, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this

For Real LMAO @ your entire 11:07 list! Those look like definite possibilities. LOL!

By DasV

June 30, 2008 11:17 AM | Link to this

BluK’s psychological disadvantage at work —-> women can’t tell if they are Jayz or Donte “Pimp Belly” Jones.

yall is a mess! LOLROTF wondering if this is still ‘on’ topic

By AmazonRed

June 30, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this

women equate how man dress with them being a bad boy…so is it really about them wanting a bad boy or some one that can potray that image in custome

Even worse than the bad boy is the bad boy uniform. If you look like a thug, you have lost all appeal…

By AmazonRed

June 30, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

Can I ask this? What is up with the shades-wearing dudes in the club? It’s not THAT bright in there. Can somebody who admittedly wears shades inside of venues explain this?

Foots - I’m with you. I went to this Kappa event this weekend and that look was everywhere. I did ask Beau about that and he seems to think that it makes him inconspicuous. As if wearing shades in a dark place isn’t peculiar enough!

By Utopia (frmly Lurker)

June 30, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this

Bad boys - 10 years ago - Thug, weedhead, bum, unemployed, can’t hold down a job, lazy, several baby mamas, no respect, THE BEST SEX EVER!

Bad boys - current day - Holds down a job, won’t give his word for fear of having to keep, won’t keep his word when given, only things that directly affect him matters, materialistic, any one that’s considered a corporate thug, mindblowing sex

By Foots

June 30, 2008 11:35 AM | Link to this

Utopia Hey former Lurker!! Gotta elaborate on your point about the mindblowing sex, though. Bad boys aren’t the only ones who know how to put it down…

By The Truth

June 30, 2008 11:41 AM | Link to this

For Real I think it’s quite honorable to not make promises. If a chick asks me to love her forever or protect her heart I simply say I can’t do that. I try not to make long term plans that include others because I reserve the right to change my mind. Relationships with your boys are nowhere near as intense as with women because they want to believe everything you say. Your boy doesn’t have that same need, hell you’re just hanging out and having fun. I don’t see how it’s lazy. If I don’t know how I’m gonna feel I simply don’t commit.

SJ thats some eye opening stuff. I’ve never heard about that dude. And we’re trying to negotitate respect with a government that would kill us all. Wow. That should be broadcast all across this country. Why isn’t Jesse and the crew speaking about that?

By anonymousella

June 30, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this

@the truth, seanjohnson3000, and for real: i don’t ask for more than what i am. most of my friends fit the bill — both those here, and those in other cities.

however, most of the men i cross paths with in atlanta do not. now perhaps i’m being a yankee snob by saying that.

or perhaps i just don’t go to the right places (though i’d expect to find cultured dudes in museums, at foreign films, or at indie music and book stores). but it is what it is.

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

June 30, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this

ARED you went ot the Kappa Casino night on Friday?

Utopia I think the 10 years ago bad boy traits are still prevalent today. But now you got the fake ones trying to come off as “Bad Boys”. You know, the ones that live flashy, trying to buy a chick, driving a flashy car,sitting in VIP at the club buying totally overpriced bottles and tricking off dollars. But then they will turn around and say women are materialistic. HELLOOOOO…what do you expect to attract when you behave like that…GOLD DIGGIN’ H0ES!Those kind of guys are a turn off to me…I think they have low self-esteem and getting women is what makes them feel good about themselves. Then to dog them out helps boost their egos because they got the chicks chasing them, even though they know it’s only the money. If the money dried up they would be out faster than a brotha at the mention of child support! They are not Bad Boys..they are worthless pathetic saps who are in dire need of manhood validation and go about it the wrong way.

By Utopia (frmly Lurker)

June 30, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

HeyFoots I guess I was making a comparison of my perception then versus now, point being good sex still makes the list. Although I know there are some good dudes that can put it down as well.

By Mombasa

June 30, 2008 11:50 AM | Link to this

A little sag in the pants does not shout bad boy to me. What does:

By Rell

June 30, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this

@staceye…i said the same thing in you 11:44 in several different ways…those are the SIMPS love…but thats what the majority of wome like or let me say the up and coming women….lol…but overall women lead boring lives so they look for men that can rescue them from that boredom….thats why some women go for that edgy dude because she is not capable of creating a life for herself

By Utopia (frmly Lurker)

June 30, 2008 11:55 AM | Link to this

Staceye as I was reading what I previously posted, the thought crossed my mind that those from previous years (some not all) just evolved. Same thought process. Just upped their means and better at it.

By Foots

June 30, 2008 12:02 PM | Link to this

Truth If a chick asks me to love her forever or protect her heart I simply say I can’t do that.

Couples say unrealistic, sappy, sentimental things to each other all the time. These aren’t vows, but based on how each person feels at the moment. How could someone know if they were going to love someone forever and they don’t know how long forever will be?

For Real’s point (I think) is that we make promises according to our best intentions, which are determined by our code of character. Could I be with a man who couldn’t promise to love me forever? Sure, and I don’t actually think I’d ask that and be completely serious anyway. Could I be with a man who couldn’t commit to a movie on Friday? No. Silly example, but it’s concrete, while the previous example is very abstract.

When I talk about a man keeping his word, I’m talking about something concrete. Feelings of love are abstract, you can’t hold someone to something that by its very nature is due to shift and change. We don’t control how we feel, but we do control what we do regardless of how we feel. That’s what committment is truly about. I have given my word in different circumstances and I honored that, even if I didn’t want to. I did what I had to do, if for no other reason than “I said I would”. I’ve broken my word before too, and felt horrible about it. That’s the code of honor that everyone has to figure out for themselves as their own personal standard.

Women (me included) have said time and time again that they look for and respect men who do the things that they say they are going to do. That seemed like you, before today. Are you saying that you’re not that type of man?

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

June 30, 2008 12:03 PM | Link to this

Truth so it’s ok to be vague and not make promises or keep your word? So, if a woman does that to you it’s just fine? Tis life now let’s move on? A guy was like that with me and I told him about it a few times (a few too many, I should’ve cut him off after the first time). It’s funny…till this day he tries to talk to me and ask me why? I don’t even explain to talk to him. If I see him, it is hi and bye. No time for moraless men who think it’s ok to do that but when I did it back he got upset. So another case of machismo, I can do it but you can’t!

Mombasa that list is not a bad boy..it is a waste of skin/space/oxygen! No contribution to society. That is what my fomer pastor called a cemetery person. meaning they need to just lay down and die because the offer nothing positive. Without in the world it would be a better place. Those are the ones that ruin clubs for people. They get into fights all the time..oh no, they no longer fight. These cowards handle everything with a gun. because they are too p*ssy to handle things with their own fists. They can’t fight so they hide behind a gun. They call themselves a man but they are less than a little boy.

**

By Foots

June 30, 2008 12:03 PM | Link to this

Rell What are “up and coming women”? When you were dating, did you attract those types?

By mytwocents

June 30, 2008 12:03 PM | Link to this

You have it pretty well defined, Utopia. And I believe they appeal most to women who are young in the mind. It’s probably about the perceived challenge and their desire to say they conquered a known BB. Which is ironic cuz he’s actually gonna end up conquering her physically and mentally. She’ll erringly imagine herself the hunter, rather than the easy prey she is and be confused when he chooses to see right past her at the next mixer.

We’re so caught up in typecasting each other that we forget there are many nuances to each individual. Most women don’t want a punk, but they don’t want a man who’s quick to fight them or anybody else, either. Can shed a few tears but not whine like a baby. Does anybody know the male version of Maddona/W*******? (Is there such a thing?)

By abc

June 30, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this

Edge, good, bad, humbug. Can he get it done or not? Is he flexible and with broad enough experience to handle whatever it is? If so, what difference does it make how he does it?

Some will prefer a Christian approach, some will prefer others, some won’t care one way or another. For the most part, women don’t care how it gets done, as long as it gets done.

Otherwise, birds of a feather flock together.

By Mombasa

June 30, 2008 12:08 PM | Link to this

If you are wanting the american dream (career, marriage, children, vacations, retirement), then why would you consider spending time with a destructive man? Bad boys live fast. The females attracted to these types are BORED and I feel sorry for them.

By AmazonRed

June 30, 2008 12:10 PM | Link to this

ARED you went ot the Kappa Casino night on Friday?

Hey Staceye. It was on Saturday but yes I was there! Were you?

By THE INFAMOUS DK

June 30, 2008 12:13 PM | Link to this

I am soooo Misunderstood….

By Rell

June 30, 2008 12:14 PM | Link to this

@foots..i dated and attracted all types…i dont know why you ladies think you are different then the rest…i have dated all the way down to the ratted out level to the phd level and they all had a lil quirk about them..and mildly retarded to say the least….again this is from my POV..when i dated i went with my taste at the time..that included size and shapes as well..when i dated if i saw what i liked you got an interview..if you were tripping or retarded you got charge to the game…i did not emotionally bond with anyone..i was finding what i liked!

By 2CPTG©

June 30, 2008 12:19 PM | Link to this

sup, y’all…..

“Guys, do you scoff at the stereotype of bad boys? Have you ever had a reputation as a bad boy?”

yes, to both questions….I guess cause I live by my own rules…yet, within the confines of the law, sometimes; And by doing so, I get stuck with the sterotypical label of being a “Bad Boy”….I’on care though, cause I can dispel those myths within 5 minutes of convo!

By SlimOne

June 30, 2008 12:20 PM | Link to this

Rell Everyone has a quirk or two…some are minor and some have disorders named after them. lol

By Satoria Lynn

June 30, 2008 12:20 PM | Link to this

That seemed like you, before today. Are you saying that you’re not that type of man?

The Truth is a selfish man. He uses women only for his own pleasure and then tosses them to the side. These ex’s come back for more because they have low self esteem and don’t think that there is another good man out there for them. I really hope he never gets married or have children. He would be doing us a favor. What he is doing isn’t considered a bad thing though. The women allow him to be the person that he is today. If they would just say no and get a life! He would be a different guy in one year, because he would know that in order to get the puddy he would actually have to respect someone. Oh my!

By Utopia (frmly Lurker)

June 30, 2008 12:24 PM | Link to this

One last thing… How much of a bad boy are you willing to tango with? Not willing, done. How do you engage them when it comes to getting their attention and keeping it? Not at all, don’t wanna

By SlimOne

June 30, 2008 12:25 PM | Link to this

Rell Everyone has a quirk or two…some are minor and some have disorders named after them. lol

By Rell

June 30, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this

@SANTORIA LYN…how do you know his ladies have low self esteem….sounds like you projecting now…and how is it disrespectful living by your rules and explaining to the women in your life how things are going to go……..i see what type you are…you one of those a man aint gonna tell me ish types…a renegade..free agent…i said free agent..do you have a problem with rules?…or direction…..we have killed this convo before….but just know everything as rules and regulations and punishments handed down if you violate….so what is going to make your relationship different?

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

June 30, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this

ARED No I wasn’t there..I got asked to go..but I didn’t go.

By THE INFAMOUS DK

June 30, 2008 12:35 PM | Link to this

Ya’ll swear its low self esteem women but women are attracted to men who can do what they want when they want.. Nowadays with these gay dudes, jokers on lock, and suckers running amuck, women gonna cling to a real dude like he is a life raft for the Titanic.. Hey I will say it again.. If a dude got his ish together life is swell, cause the bull can walk down and F all cows… Aint no sense in runnin and chasin.. I dont care about those other girls, just be good to me was written for a reason..

By Foots

June 30, 2008 12:36 PM | Link to this

Rell i dont know why you ladies think you are different then the rest…

Everybody is different from everyone else. So in what context do you mean? Your wife had something different about her that made you say, “Yeah, this is the one”, right?

By Cemeeli

June 30, 2008 12:37 PM | Link to this

Happy Monday…

:) this is a cute topic.

It’s cool to be a lil egdy. But problem line in the ones that are flamboyant badboy/girl. That bb image can crush/break a relationship. Bottom line is…if both he and she are getting the job done and if it’s a match, i guess.

mytwo…see how BB and badgirl make it happen for you mamma? :) How was your w/e?

By Deeva4Life

June 30, 2008 12:38 PM | Link to this

Anything I could say has already been said. Most women want a man’s man that can handle his business yet be sensitive to her needs/wants and that can/will vary with each situation.

SlimOne did you get a chance to check out Straits this weekend? I got an opportunity to go (for the first time) Friday night and it was a pleasant experience.

By The Melo

June 30, 2008 12:39 PM | Link to this

or perhaps i just don’t go to the right places (though i’d expect to find cultured dudes in museums, at foreign films, or at indie music and book stores). REALLY, i consider myself cultured,but i honestly dont hang around those foreign films,museums and book stores.Single women….thats why i spoke of utopian men in ur minds….uall some real fun to hear………

By Beautiful

June 30, 2008 12:40 PM | Link to this

mood today: accomplished.

i said it awhile ago that i was attracted to bad boys, but i was wrong.

i went to the juneteenth celebration and saw Orlando there. he was this cute thug from back in the day. well, he still looks the same, but his swagger was wack as h3ll. nothing changed about his life. his accomplishments were that he wasn’t dead or in jail. i stood there with my arms folded like a snob and said hello like one too. he didn’t get one rise out of me. that’s when i knew exactly what i’m looking for in a man, Mr. B. i won’t repeat what that is so ya won’t get grossed out. lol. cause i know y’all know. so yea, bad boys keep it moving.

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

June 30, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this

GOOD FOR YOU BEAUTIFUL!!!*

By SlimOne

June 30, 2008 12:46 PM | Link to this

Deeva I did make it to Straits on Saturday night. I have to say that I enjoyed it..and my server was very nice. We spoke with the manager on our way out to let her know how our experience was…I was surprised by the music they had playing in there….some old skool R & B. Next time i’ll have to go with a group of folks so we can all taste each others food. lol

By 2CPTG©

June 30, 2008 12:46 PM | Link to this

somma y’all wouldn’t know a “bad boy” if he was sitting beside you in your next yellow belt session!

Bad boys are like hoodrats, relative only to the person stating their opinion.

By Satoria Lynn

June 30, 2008 12:47 PM | Link to this

Rell - They are his ex for a reason. Why not move forward? Seems like low self esteem to me.

By Foots

June 30, 2008 12:49 PM | Link to this

DK I dont care about those other girls, just be good to me was written for a reason..

Maybe she didn’t think that she could find a man who could provide what she needed AND be faithful. But on second thought, I agree that it doesn’t necessarily have to be a lack of self-esteem. It could be the case (as we saw in the blog a few days ago) of a woman who lets the bad boy have his way, but is getting her more emotional needs taken care of by another man. Y’all dudes seem to frown on that though.

I wonder if she was only saying that cause she had other dudes to fall back on… Hmmmmmmmm….

By AmazonRed

June 30, 2008 12:50 PM | Link to this

Couples say unrealistic, sappy, sentimental things to each other all the time. These aren’t vows, but based on how each person feels at the moment.

Foots, very true. Beau told me this weekend that he will never hurt me again. No way that can be true, but I understand where he is coming from with that. The key is for me to listen to what he says but to be practical in it’s application.

By THE INFAMOUS DK

June 30, 2008 12:54 PM | Link to this

Corporate thugs are what ya’ll looking for.. A dude that has street sense and book sense.. He knows the street game but walked away from it or came from such a crazy background that he knew he was destined for so much more.. The dude youre lookin for is a guy thats willing to take his destiny into his own hands and not wait on somebody to hand him his plate at the soup kitchen.. The Dude knows he was put here for a greater purpose than just the guy that settles when the ends meet.. The dude wants everything thats coming to him and more. The dude is determined to get where he needs to go even if it sacrifices a cool relationship. The dude understands that those sacrifices need to be made.. The dude wants the best for him and his.. The dude still believes in honor amongst men and men should act like men.. Not henpecked flunkies.. Enough I could go on for days..

By Beautiful

June 30, 2008 12:56 PM | Link to this

good morning Staceye, you sexy thang you! lol.

By Cemeeli

June 30, 2008 12:56 PM | Link to this

I guess WiseDiva is not sharing her birthday w/e recap? :) or wait, maybe she’s bloggin’ from what still is her birthday w/e celebration???

btw…2C thanks for the pointer on picking a sweeter watermelon. I was going for the biggest at frst but i got one that was smaller and drkr green. hmmmm pretty good…

By AmazonRed

June 30, 2008 12:58 PM | Link to this

That is what my fomer pastor called a cemetery person. meaning they need to just lay down and die because the offer nothing positive. Without in the world it would be a better place.

Yikes. LOL

By SeanJohnson3000

June 30, 2008 12:58 PM | Link to this

@ Truth…i run across info like that all the time…some of the stuff will blow ya mind bruh….

By The Truth

June 30, 2008 12:59 PM | Link to this

Foots That seemed like you, before today. Are you saying that you’re not that type of man? I did things that I deemed appropriate. I never cared what other folks thought. Fugg them. Now, alot of the things I liked women like. Being comfortable, travelling, enjoying life. And I never said what I’m going to do. I was to busy doing it. It’s like I was telling Anon* this morning. The reason that dude isn’t all up and down the street is because he is busy doing what he does. And a cat on the grind doesn’t want to hear about your feelings being hurt. That’s just noise and a distraction. So most of the chicks would, just by their conversation, run a focused dude off from the beginning.

Ny first goal is to be true to myself.

In our society relationships have lost there value. So when someone has to pick between a mate and something they’re trying to achieve guess which one has to go.

Satoria I am selfish. When they box me up the only thing that’ll matter is that I got to enjoy my life on MY TERMS. I don’t want kids and marriage isn’t necessary.

And the women that I dated didn’t have any lower self esteem than you do. Also, I never had to dispespect a chick to gain her favors. It’s also not about a woman changing me in a year. I like me right this moment. I’m not perfect but i’m going to bed with me tonight and I’m going to sleep like a baby. If i had to change to get or keep a woman I’d be through with women. I am what I am.

Before you go asking someone to respect you you should respect yourself. The reason these cat are disrespecting you is because you present yourself like that’s an option.

My ex’es stay in touch because I’m the most progressive, business minded, stable, forward moving cat they know. They’ve watched me comcoct plans and made them come true. Can you say the same about yourself? didn’t think so.

By QC

June 30, 2008 12:59 PM | Link to this

Hi BK

Hey Ladies Staceye, Beautiful, Cee-me-me

By 2CPTG©

June 30, 2008 1:00 PM | Link to this

“Corporate thugs are what ya’ll looking for.. A dude that has street sense and book sense.. He knows the street game but walked away from it or came from such a crazy background that he knew he was destined for so much more.. The dude youre lookin for is a guy thats willing to take his destiny into his own hands and not wait on somebody to hand him his plate at the soup kitchen.. The Dude knows he was put here for a greater purpose than just the guy that settles when the ends meet.. The dude wants everything thats coming to him and more. The dude is determined to get where he needs to go even if it sacrifices a cool relationship. The dude understands that those sacrifices need to be made.. The dude wants the best for him and his.. The dude still believes in honor amongst men and men should act like men.. Not henpecked flunkies.. Enough I could go on for days..”

Bwoi, I had to quote the whole thang!!!! that’s the “realest shyt since MC Ren”!!! And that’s why I said half of these young ladies wouldn’t know a “real Bad Boy” if they saw one!!! Them cats wearin’ the “uniform” ain’t necessarily “bad boys”….but straight up thugs! “Bad Boys move in silence!”

By Cemeeli

June 30, 2008 1:00 PM | Link to this

ARed Friday i really didn’t bother you lol…imma mess with you today. Ready?

By Foots

June 30, 2008 1:01 PM | Link to this

DK Corporate thugs are what ya’ll looking for..

Actually, it sounds you just gave the definition of “A MAN”. I don’t see why you have to put “thug” in the mix at all.

By THE INFAMOUS DK

June 30, 2008 1:01 PM | Link to this

Foots Because most women dont want to be looked at as a wh0r3, no matter how liberated she is..

By Beautiful

June 30, 2008 1:02 PM | Link to this

the ones who consider themselves a bad boy are not! Orlando saw nothing wrong with his pathetic life.

By 2CPTG©

June 30, 2008 1:03 PM | Link to this

said this before, but this is a stanza from one of my all-time favorite poems….

*”if you can fill the unforgiving minute with 60 seconds worth of distance run, then yours, is the Earth, and everything that’s in it, and which is more, you’ll be a man, my son.”

By SeanJohnson3000

June 30, 2008 1:04 PM | Link to this

@ Truth…i run across info like that all the time…some of the stuff will blow ya mind bruh….

By SexyLeggs

June 30, 2008 1:07 PM | Link to this

Upon entering the scary world of dating, I know I do not want a bad boy. I want a responsible man who keeps his word. I can undertand the unforeseen glitches that occur in life, but overall keep your word. Being daring and adventurous is a good trait to have in your DNA.

By Cemeeli

June 30, 2008 1:07 PM | Link to this

Hi QC. The question of the hour to one of the most polite sisters.

Have you ever dated a badboy? u know u don’t hv to answer

I could never imagine you w/ what would be considered a “badboy”.

By AmazonRed

June 30, 2008 1:08 PM | Link to this

Friday i really didn’t bother you lol…imma mess with you today. Ready?

Cemeeli, that depends. Are you friend or foe? LOL

By Utopia (frmly Lurker)

June 30, 2008 1:09 PM | Link to this

DK
The dude is determined to get where he needs to go even if it sacrifices a cool relationship. I don’t knock the drive at all, just the inability to balance. Let me retrack that…that is the balance, making it. All else runs a distant second if at all. A distant second is too much of a sacrifice for me. Been there, was there (loooong time) done that.

By Satoria Lynn

June 30, 2008 1:11 PM | Link to this

Can you say the same about yourself?

Yes I can.

DK - You just described a man with drive. Try again.

By Raqi

June 30, 2008 1:12 PM | Link to this

Foots I agree. What DK and 2Can are describing is what I consider to be a man in his truest form.

By AmazonRed

June 30, 2008 1:12 PM | Link to this

He knows the street game but walked away from it or came from such a crazy background that he knew he was destined for so much more.

DK - No, that’s not what I’m looking for either. I’d prefer a guy that came from a similar background to mine.

Folks can be driven by so many different things.

By Cemeeli

June 30, 2008 1:13 PM | Link to this

Cold stamping…

In our society relationships have lost there value. So when someone has to pick between a mate and something they’re trying to achieve guess which one has to go?

Hey, there is no need to guess…the best thing to do is to deposit the rule into people, especially the young at heart.

By THE INFAMOUS DK

June 30, 2008 1:13 PM | Link to this

Ok Truth!! Speak on it..

But ladies when a man says something like that you instantly think something is wrong with him.. I still talk to all my ex’s.. They value my opinion because I know where I’m going.. Most dudes are lost in the Rat Race.

By KP (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

June 30, 2008 1:13 PM | Link to this

Good afternoon bloggers! I’ve been lurking and enjoying the nuggets of thug wisdom being shared by the blog men.

I agree that some women go through the I wanna thug phase during their high school and college years because of the associated adventure. However, in the end, most women want someone who will treat them with respect, ‘man-up’ the household and navigate through the challenges of life without having a nervous breakdown. My two cents!

By Foots

June 30, 2008 1:13 PM | Link to this

Truth My ex’es stay in touch because I’m the most progressive, business minded, stable, forward moving cat they know.

So, can women also say this as the reason why our exes still call us and try to keep in touch? Because we’re progressive, business minded, stable and forward moving also? For some reason, every time a woman says her ex contacts her, dudes on here assume that it’s because they want azz. I think your breakdown makes a good default reason for the inevitable return of exes.

In our society relationships have lost there value.

I agree that that is the way things are now, but I don’t do everything that society tells me I should. People have definitely taken their own comfort into greater consideration than they have the comfort of others, even their own families. Our society will continue to be a f/ked up as it is until more people are willing to forgo societal pressures and realize that we are not actually in this world alone.

And a cat on the grind doesn’t want to hear about your feelings being hurt. That’s just noise and a distraction.

That’s interesting. I don’t actually take everything to my man, because I know he’s focused. But when I do say something, he takes notice because he knows I DON’T take everything to him, so it must be important. I’m glad that I do have that happy medium, someone who can be focused when needed and not oblivious to whatever else is going on around him. I definitely want to be with someone who can get the job done and give a dayum at the same time.

By The Truth

June 30, 2008 1:14 PM | Link to this

Staceye That is what my fomer pastor called a cemetery person. meaning they need to just lay down and die because the offer nothing positive. Without in the world it would be a better place. I can see why he’s your former pastor. He’s a fugging idiot. You didn’t tithe a whole 10% to that fool did you? And this guy is a pastor?

What you’re talking about is a guy that makes a living convincing people their lives are wrong and that he can correct it. If all the “cemetary people” were there he’d be out of business. Wow The world would be a better place if we could shoot the pastors.

By Foots

June 30, 2008 1:17 PM | Link to this

DK What was your 1:01 in reference to?

By 2CPTG©

June 30, 2008 1:19 PM | Link to this

Raqi, you already know…A man gotta survive…and sometimes that means by “hook or crook”! Am I a bad boy, or do I possess bad boy tendencies? Shyttin me, I’m trynna get it!

By Beautiful

June 30, 2008 1:21 PM | Link to this

hi QC! any plans for the 4th! i’m going back to dad’s house. yay! he used to be a chef back when i was a pup. friday needs to hurry up and get here!

hey foots! loving your post as always. i totally understand what you’re saying. forever, whose forever are they speaking of? theirs, mine? it just sounds nice, that’s all. and i know they mean well.

By KP (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

June 30, 2008 1:22 PM | Link to this

Truth…you are on a roll today!

By 2CPTG©

June 30, 2008 1:25 PM | Link to this

If a hit dog’ll holler, then, I’ll be ya huckleberry…..“I’ve been lurking and enjoying the nuggets of thug wisdom being shared by the blog men.”….what you trynna say?

What exactly is “thug wisdom”

By SexyLeggs

June 30, 2008 1:27 PM | Link to this

Good comeback Foots, as been stated here on so many occasion, the MLBs (not all) state exes comeback just to continue to tap the azz (one foot in and one foot out the door). Not always the case, as Mr. Truth just pointed out!!!!

By Beautiful

June 30, 2008 1:27 PM | Link to this

i would rather see a man get his through hard work then get his pimpin’ the system.

By THE INFAMOUS DK

June 30, 2008 1:30 PM | Link to this

Foots Babe its just a buzz word.. I’ve been saying what a man is all along but as soon as I put thug in it ya’ll pay attention.. Go figure..

Utopia A Real dude wouldnt sacrifice ya if it was something he could balance.. He sacrificed you because you werent right for him at that moment.. You became a distration and on the road of life distractions can detour you to nowheresville or in a ditch. If a dude sits at home with ya all day you still wouldnt be happy.

I’ve come to the conclusion that you cant please a woman.

By KP (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

June 30, 2008 1:33 PM | Link to this

2CPTG, Thug wisdom is shared by those who have seen thuggism being portrayed in our society. The nuggets that have been shared (for the most part) about the perception of ‘thugs’ are correct. If you have spent any time in the ‘hood, in the barbershop, or anywhere that thugs may have frequented, you have a perspective that can be shared with the group. I’m not a fan of the term ‘thug’, but am aligning with the blog discussion for today.

By Cemeeli

June 30, 2008 1:35 PM | Link to this

ARed well being that i’m in a great mood as well :)lol…Let’s see; answer me this; Is Beau your man/mainsqueeze or is he ain’t? fo sho’?

On topic: What’s funny about the current meat of the badboy converstaion is that when you tell Mr. Imma Do Me to do him, for somereason he instantly gravitates to wanna have the realtionship. another “won’t cost you nothing” is when the small precentages of those Corporate Thugettes can balance the nuggetts = (job, family, realtionship and the vision) guess what she gets/attracts? please guess

see, it’s about to get crunk now

By 2CPTG©

June 30, 2008 1:38 PM | Link to this

Diva….maybe I need to drag you outta the woodworks, cause you know I’ve been labled a menace to society, in some form or another, so I’m in need of some serious dialogue on this “Bad Boy” subject…..I’ve had my share of troubles…and I’ll be damned if I haven’t prevailed and travailed!!! There does come a time when being reg’la just ain’t gon’ cut it….you gotta have an edge!