Misadventures in Atlanta

By Raqi

July 3, 2008 8:42 AM | Link to this

The saying “Hell has no fury…” has been popular for many many years, but you find now that so many women are dying at the hands of their husband’s, boyfriend, exes, stalkers and just mere strangers. And then the kids that are dying as a result of the men wanting to hurt their women. It has become gruesomely despairing.

What is it that makes these men snap like that? You constantly hear ‘women are crazy’ but the evidence clearly shows that men are the one with the issues. Whether it be control issues or just issues of seeking revenge of not being wanted any more, it has become eerie.

And the thing is you don’t know until it’s too late sometimes.

By QC

July 3, 2008 8:43 AM | Link to this

Morning Bloggers…have a great day & a safe July 4th..i’ll HOLLA on tuesday!

QC now chilling at da crib

By Rell

July 3, 2008 8:53 AM | Link to this

Best way is not to deal with them at all….dudes need better management skills when it comes to there women and themselves….but we all know the underlying problem with these tender dyck men….poo see……

By SexyLeggs

July 3, 2008 9:10 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone. Raqi, you are right, It has become gruesomely despairing. I have never been able to wrap my mind around the concept of “if I can’t have you nobody can!” When a person has the inability to rationale the impact of their actions on the people involved, especially the children, simply means their heart no longer beats properly and their soul has taken flight. The signs are usually there for everyone to see before the “psycho” does much harm. If people stop with “well maybe this and maybe that, or he didn’t mean this or that” more deaths, pain and suffering can be eliminated. Don’t really know, all I know is it is important to remain on high alert at all times! Any person scorned is a dangerous person!!

By ATL Guy

July 3, 2008 9:14 AM | Link to this

True Situation happened 2 Nights Ago

My ex g/f moved into an apt with one of her girl friends and her girl friend was in this abusive relationship with this drug dealer kind of guy (winner right!?) So she just left living with him, changed her number, moved in with my ex at an apartment. She cut ties completely. This guy is violent and F’ing crazy. 2 nights ago, her apt was broken into. Makes me wonder if it was her girl friend’s ex crazy a* b/f trying to find her or something or got info of where she lives.

Regardless, it puts my ex g/f in a really bad situation and she’s worried. I mean she’s not involved at all in their situation, but she is because she lives with who is. Its wild…

I told her if you associate yourself with people who are involved with crazy a* people…its liable to affect you or you might be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Hope it looks up for her, for real.

By Raqi

July 3, 2008 9:15 AM | Link to this

WiseDiva this topic almost knocked me off of my cloud. Somewhat depressing however an issue that makes you take notice and be aware.

My friend Denise had a roommate in college that was killed by an ex. She said the woman broke up with him and he hit her in the head trying to keep her from leaving.

Rell the problem is sometimes you just don’t know until it’s too late.

You meet people that are very attentive and like spending time with you, but you don’t know that there is an underlying obsession until you try to get away. The ones that are outwardly aggressive are usually not the problem. And the ones that let their stalker tendencies show early on are usually easier to get away from. It the closet killers that you have to fear.

By AmazonRed

July 3, 2008 9:28 AM | Link to this

What causes people to detach from reality like this?

I think we see more stuff like this because of the watering down of society. Folks today are coddled and therefore, no one can take rejection well. Men today are much weaker then men of yesteryear. People have a sense of entitlement.

So when things don’t go their way, they don’t know how to deal with those emotions. We need to get back to toughening our kids up.

By Raqi

July 3, 2008 9:34 AM | Link to this

This topic makes me think back to the day Whitebread tried to pull me out the door and hurt my arm. All the time we were together he never showed any evidence of being a violent person, but on that particular day because he couldn’t have his way, he reacted in a violent manner. What would he have done to me if Mase hadn’t been there? Would he have hit me or forced himself on me? You have to think about those things.

My oldest son came home one weekend and didn’t tell us he was coming. We were laying in bed watching tv and we heard the alarm beep like someone had come in the door. And we knew no one else was in the house or was expected to come. Mase jumped up ran to the closet and came out with a gun. I had no idea he had a gun. He has a pellet rifle that he uses to shoot at stray dogs and critters in the yard, but this was a real gun that he had. I am glad that I eventually found out about and had to do so by having it pointed at me. You never know who is capable of what. But now knowing about it, if we ever got to a situation where he is angry or scorned enough to want to take my life, I know to leave the house before he gets it in his hand. But I pray it never comes to that.

By AmazonRed

July 3, 2008 9:36 AM | Link to this

Whoops, good morning everyone. Happy “Friday!”

By Kym aka Lady Sage

July 3, 2008 9:36 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All and Happy 4th of July!!

I agree with Amazon there seems to be such a sense of entitlement and outrage. I think one of the worse cases I heard of recently was where the exhusband shot the two mothers while the children ran screaming next door. I keep think for what? If this woman has left you why not just let go. Surely it can’t be that bad. Also just last night the Starbucks on Cascade was shot up..my only hope is it was not some domestic violence issue that has gone wrong.

By Kym aka Lady Sage

July 3, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this

Hit the button to soon..I hope it was not a domestic violence issue gone wrong and now innocent people have and could be in danger. But it is happening more and more across the country. The guy at the Omni the man who killed his wife and daughter in the bed, another guy killed his family and then drove away and killed himself. It is becoming more and more common place.

By Foots

July 3, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this

Raqi You meet people that are very attentive and like spending time with you, but you don’t know that there is an underlying obsession until you try to get away.

I can agree with this. In the one situation I’ve had with the crazy Atlanta police man, there were a few signs along the way that could have been taken as attentiveness if I wasn’t so paranoid. I was paranoid from the get-go once I found out that he was from the islands, a former Green Beret, and a current policeman. He was very clingy and eager to start talking about a future with me when there was no indication from me that it was anything close to what I wanted.

A few months in, I realized I had to get rid of him due to the fact that I couldn’t breathe and I had already seen that he had an irrational jealous streak. No man could even look our way without him asking me if I knew the guy.

I thought that if I broke up with him in person, it would be more respectful. I couldn’t have been more wrong. He went through so many emotions that night, from indifference (I knew this was coming, so I’m okay) to despair (See? I had picked out these engagement rings and printed them out for you to choose, but you don’t want that…riiiiiipppp) back to indifference (I can just get back with my ex. No problem) to threats (Let me show you my weapons collection) to bribery (I have houses and land that you didn’t know about, you can be a part of that) to passion (all you need is for me to make love to you, everything will be fine). I was so scared because dude was flipping out, but I maintained my firmness and calm and focused on getting out of there alive. He wouldn’t let me leave until he said everything he had to say, and it took took three hours of listening to all of that.

When he was done, he told me I could go, but then he hemmed me up at my car for another 45 minutes by standing behind it and crying. He said that he wouldn’t let me leave until I promised him that I would reconsider the breakup. I told him that I would. I praised the Lord for getting out of that situation with only a good scare and some time lost.

Luckily, I never saw him again after that. I don’t think he was willing to risk his career to stalk me, but I alerted my family to what was going on so I’d have a few eyes on me. I had asked him before I left to give me a week’s time to think and he did, so when he called, I broke it off over the phone. Which I should have done in the first dayum place. Live and learn.

By abc

July 3, 2008 9:42 AM | Link to this

It’s mental illness, extreme emotional imbalance. Get a restraining order, make it a matter of record. I’ve been under such threat once, but chicks are always furious if you dump their azz. It’s much more prevalent as a female attribute.

By M.

July 3, 2008 9:42 AM | Link to this

@Amazon Red

Men today are much weaker then men of yesteryear. People have a sense of entitlement.

This may be true, but what about women that do the same thing. Have you ever seen Snapped on the oxygen channel?

I think this is a two way street, some women may have self esteem issues and do not handle rejection well, therefore they get insecure and cant accept it when a better prospect comes along and their man leaves them or they are no longer viewed as attractive to their mate and he wants something newer, better, younger,…etc.

What I would put in the breakup guide is that it should be treated like a band-aid. Just cut it off fast and dont look back. Also look for as many red flags as possible during the honeymoon phase.

By kimmie

July 3, 2008 9:48 AM | Link to this

Good morning blog gang - I agree with you all, especially Raqi & Amred. It’s like these men just cannot handle rejection, like they can decide to reject you, but you better not reject them.

AtlGuy - I was kinda in that same situation with a friend of mine. He ex-boyfriend was crazy and I tried to limit my time at her house because I didn’t want to get caught in the crossfire. She ended up calling the police on the fool one time and figured he better get ghost. But I got p** at my friend because he constantly showed signs he was unstable, but she kept saying “oh, he won’t do anything”. Once she went out to lunch with her cousin and her cousin’s boyfriend. He had been stalking her house and saw her walk out with the group and jealously assumed the guy in the bunch was for her. He followed them into Applebees, grabbed the Coach purse he had given her for Christmas and poured out the contents on the floor in the middle of Applebees and stormed out with the purse!

By AmazonRed

July 3, 2008 9:50 AM | Link to this

M., I never said this was exclusive to men. I said “people” have a sense of entitlement and that “society” is watered down and “folks” are coddled. This encludes men and women.

I only mentioned that men specifically are weaker because men are typically the ones that are supposed to be strong.

I would love one day where we don’t get the “well the other gender does this too!” arguement. We know.

By Foots

July 3, 2008 9:50 AM | Link to this

Sorry for the novel. The guy even told me that with his Green Beret training, he could kill me and no one would be able to find me or him, because he could tread water for days.

abc but chicks are always furious if you dump their azz. It’s much more prevalent as a female attribute.

LOLOLOL!!! See above. There is “furious” and then there is “homicidal”. That’s much more prevalent as a male attribute.

For the record, I’d rather for someone to be REALLY mad at me, than to try to kill me.

By AmazonRed

July 3, 2008 9:51 AM | Link to this

M., I never said this was exclusive to men. I said “people” have a sense of entitlement and that “society” is watered down and “folks” are coddled. This includes men and women.

I only mentioned that men specifically are weaker because men are typically the ones that are supposed to be strong.

I would love one day where we don’t get the “well the other gender does this too!” arguement. We know.

By Foots

July 3, 2008 9:56 AM | Link to this

A few months ago, I had Cobb County police lining my street because a guy on my street had snapped (he’s a police man himself). When I pulled up, they had the dude in handcuffs. I listened as much as I could, and I heard the other police men telling him that he didn’t want to risk his career, that he needed to really think about this, maybe they could work it out after some time had passed, etc. I think they took him away, but the next night, the police cars were back. I don’t know what happened then, but the next day, when there was a surveillance car out there, I figured that she was preparing to leave the house with the children. She was gone about a week, and came back with the kids. I haven’t seen him over there since.

My dad was like “If you see him drive up, you duck”.

By Kym aka Lady Sage

July 3, 2008 9:59 AM | Link to this

Ohh almost forgot..I would put in the guide Honesty tempered with compassion. If you are breaking up with someone you think has the potential to be unstable..you kind of need to look at it from their side of the fence. Be honest and firm that this is the best thing for both of you but show some compassion for them in the loss. Granted this may not keep some ego freak from going postal on you(no one can predict human behavior)but if you feel threaten notify the proper authorities and also family and friends.

By M.

July 3, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

@Ared

So are women experts at handling their emotions? I used to work with this girl who was dating a married guy at the job, started catching feelings and instead of seeing that she was a jump off, she gave him an ultimatum that if he doesent leave his family they were done….

Also this girl I knew, her sorority sister was dating a guy but he kicked her to the curb and married another chick, she came up to his job and held 2 people hostage at gunpoint until he came out. Now she is serving time….

By AmazonRed

July 3, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this

Also just last night the Starbucks on Cascade was shot up

Damn, this is my hood.

By AmazonRed

July 3, 2008 10:06 AM | Link to this

M. - Do you really think I’m disagreeing with you? Or do you just need someone to talk to today? We aren’t on opposite sides of the fence here. Do do realize that right?

Sheesh.

By kimmie

July 3, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this

Foots- You really have to be careful how you break up with some people! I remember one guy that I dated for maybe about 6 months. I realized we were just too different and I saw little weird signs in him that scared me. He was always having to bail out his twin brother & him mama and it was just too much I feared brewing under the surface. We barely had time to see each other because he worked 2 full time jobs. I used that as the excuse to break up and did it over the phone. I’ve never heard so much crying & screaming from anyone, male or female! He kept calling over to my daddy’s house looking for me & my dad’s caregiver was a bit of a thug and kinda scared him up once when he called. I never heard from him again.

Another time, I dated this guy from San Diego. He had moved back out there after finishing school here. We dated on and off for 5 years and were even considering marriage. He had a dark side he was careful not to reveal around me, but I would see sparks of it because I am a bit paranoid, nothing gets past me. Finally I just felt we were not going to make it and needed to break free and I had met someone else here that I wanted to pursue. I knew my guy was the type to get on a plane to ATL if he thought there was someone else in the picture. Unfortunately I had a built-in excuse that worked well and kept his butt in Cali. I say unfortunate because I had just lost my mother a month before. I called and told him I was really distraught over losing Mom and couldn’t deal with any relationship right now and especially a long-distance one. He was hurt, but he didn’t show up either.

By The Truth

July 3, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this

The phase out is the best technique. Some folks just don’t handle bad news to well. LOL

I think alot of these stories we hear about are people that know that no matter what they’ll still have to stay in touch with that mate due to kids. They feel trapped and hopeless. I also think it will happen more as times get harder. Increased pressure tends to agitate these things.

Anybody that kills their mate because their feelings are hurt is just plain weak. However, there are reasons to do so, in my eyes.

By kimmie

July 3, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

Amred - And not too far from my hood either! That’s a cool spot too.

By AmazonRed

July 3, 2008 10:22 AM | Link to this

When he was done, he told me I could go, but then he hemmed me up at my car for another 45 minutes by standing behind it and crying.

Foots - I know I shouldn’t have laughed but I did. I’m very glad you got out of the situation unharmed.

Anybody that kills their mate because their feelings are hurt is just plain weak. However, there are reasons to do so, in my eyes.

Uh, Truthie, care to explain those reasons. said while backing away slowly…lol

By Foots

July 3, 2008 10:22 AM | Link to this

kimmie Yeah, dude was weird. I had my cell phone out half the time I was over there. Until he asked me, “You getting ready to dial 911 or something?” I was just sick.

I had thought that “Breaking up at their place” was part of the guide, because then you can leave. It’s harder to get someone to leave your property if they are distraught. But you live and you learn. All dudes that I feel may take it a little hard get the phone breakup.

They also say that you should break it off in a public place to avoid the blowup (or at least have witnesses), but even that doesn’t guarantee success because they don’t have to get you there. They know where you live. And work. It’s scary. We’re going to get to the point where we’re doing background checks along with mental health evaluations.

By Kym aka Lady Sage

July 3, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this

I am trying to remember if I had any friends or family members go through something like this. I know there have been incidents of fights in the streets and police called with one cousin…My auntie called his whole situation “graveyard love” When you love someone so much you want to put them in their grave. I don’t think I want anyone loving me like that.

By M.

July 3, 2008 10:29 AM | Link to this

@AmazonRed

No, Im good. I dont think you were disagreeing with you, I was just asking a question about the emotion thing (So are women experts at handling their emotions? )thats it!

By Raqi

July 3, 2008 10:33 AM | Link to this

I know it’s still early but can we talk about something less depressing. I know I could just as well find something else to do, but since I granted over half of the office the day off, I am stuck right here.

Sorry WiseDiva.

By AmazonRed

July 3, 2008 10:35 AM | Link to this

So are women experts at handling their emotions?

Okay M.…sounded like a pretty obvious question to me with no right or wrong answer unless you have some scientific data to back it up. LOL

I’d say some women are very good at handling their emotions. Others are terrible.

Sorry I didn’t have a more profound answer. LOL

By kimmie

July 3, 2008 10:40 AM | Link to this

I know of 2 cases where the new husband started to snap at the wedding reception. One of my cousin’s best friends showed up on her doorstep in the pouring rain in tears from the honeymoon because ole’ boy beat her up and acted a fool at Disney! This dude was a camera man at a big local tv station, fine and swept her off her feet dating. They dated about 2 years before he proposed, so it was not a whirlwind thing!

By The Melo

July 3, 2008 10:40 AM | Link to this

Happy 4th everybody. On topic,i think eveybody shld play their part in ensuring the break up is handled in a nice sensitive way so that the transition is not that painful.I knw im so attached to my wife now that if we were to break up(God forbid),it wld be painful on both fronts,esp. so on the one who is on the receiving end of the break up. The key is to be sensitive as possible to each other.If u have kids etc,understand that u are forever going to be attached,one way or the other so u all need to avoid being too harsh on each other because ur lives are messhed for the rest of ur lives.But there is no excuse for killing somebody simply becoz u just lost pudsy u were so attached to,thats crazy. On a diffrnt note,i bought $5.00 worth of big game loto tickets for the 1st time,so if u dont see me hear on Monday,i hit the big one and am at the beach smwhere.

By Tazzee

July 3, 2008 10:42 AM | Link to this

Morning Folks!

I’ve never experienced this type of thing, nor have I known anyone that did - at least not while I knew them, I’ve heard of stories though.

I have seen some mental tendencies in guys early on and cut it off immediately, but that’s about it for me.

By Kym aka Lady Sage

July 3, 2008 10:45 AM | Link to this

Raqi On a lighter note..The National Black Arts Festival will be kicking off in another 2weeks. I am going to miss opening weekend. But there are some great plays going on during the festival.

By kimmie

July 3, 2008 10:45 AM | Link to this

Melo- In the words of this Thai lady I used to work with - “If me win Lotto this weekend, me no come to work Monday”!

By Foots

July 3, 2008 10:45 AM | Link to this

Good luck on the lotto Melo. Don’t kill your wife if you win so you won’t have to split it. LOL!

By M.

July 3, 2008 10:45 AM | Link to this

@AmazonRed

Its all good, just wanted to hear the insight thats all.

By The Truth

July 3, 2008 10:47 AM | Link to this

ABC a person thats trying to kill you doesn’t care about a restraining order. Thats something that’ll happen tomorrow. Tonight you get the full monty. LOL

Some people focus on a perceived big problem until you give them something bigger to concentrate on. If a chick(because I don’t date dudes) flares up because you break up and gets violent simply give her a bigger concern, her own safety. I promise it’ll put it back in perspective for her.

Ared OJ. I feel OJ is 100% right for killing his ex. It was cheaper to kill tht chick than keep paying her. I mean I’m not paying for some chick to live a life of luxury on my dime. I don’t know if he did it but I understand if he did. And the kids aren’t an excuse to rob a dude of his lifes work. I honestly didn’t see the problem. She made a power move and he (possibly) made his own. His technique was stronger. LOL If this was a just system everyone would of shrugged their shoulders and walked away.

Really there’s no difference between a robber robbing you and an ex trying to use the courts to do so. The end result is you got robbed. It simply comes down to who is more adamant about their position. In those cases I say give them the best you have.

The courts put alot of dudes in a no win situation. They’re indebted to this system forever. If they can’t see a way out they take it out on the closest people to him. His family. That’s the way it goes sometimes.

By abc

July 3, 2008 10:47 AM | Link to this

That’s just not my experience, foots. The ex-chick with the always loaded glock was a bit of a problem. I’ve never known a man to make for any problems whatsoever when he dumps his chick, but guns, knives, key the car, torch his stuff in the driveway — it’s like almost every time I know of a guy dumping her, she retaliates in those ways. Dumped chicks are dangerous!

By Foot2Azz

July 3, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this

I may be wrong in my assessment but I believe whenever a dude takes rejection to the extreme of acting out in violence or absurd bychazzness I immediately think there was an absence of a strong father figure in his life. Unfortunately, rejection is apart of life but you should never give a woman that much power especially when they didn’t ask for it nor do they deserve it. Some dudes ain’t got no backbone and are too affraid of failure. Once again I could be wrong.

My old man and my brothers would practically put foot2azz if I were to severely bytch up after being dumped. There comes a point in time in the grieving process where there is no other option but the MANUP and move on!

By M.

July 3, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this

@The Truth

I agree with you man (about using the courts for robbery) because Juanita Jordan to Michael to the BANK! Im from Chicago and never seen her hit a game winning shot, so how the judge granted her $150 Million is crazy….Oprah’s the real genius for not getting married…No man is touching those Billions not even Gayle….LOL

By AmazonRed

July 3, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this

On a diffrnt note,i bought $5.00 worth of big game loto tickets for the 1st time,so if u dont see me hear on Monday,i hit the big one and am at the beach smwhere.

In keeping with the gloom of todays topic melo, if we don’t hear from you on Monday, we can also assume that you may have gotten hit by a MARTA bus. I’m just sayin! LOL

Bad joke, I know.

By SexyCool

July 3, 2008 10:59 AM | Link to this

as a victim of a psycho who tried to kill me in a Winn Dixie parking lot in 1998 after telling me that i was going to die that night…

i can agree with Truth in that…phasing out is the best way…IF POSSIBLE…

however…that’s not always logically possible…

By M.

July 3, 2008 11:00 AM | Link to this

@The Truth

I agree with you man (about using the courts for robbery) because Juanita Jordan to Michael to the BANK! Im from Chicago and never seen her hit a game winning shot, so how the judge granted her $150 Million is crazy….Oprah’s the real genius for not getting married…No man is touching those Billions not even Gayle….LOL

By kimmie

July 3, 2008 11:01 AM | Link to this

Truth - I knew I broke up with you for good reasons. Thank you for letting it go peacefully!LOL!! But seriously, you sound a lot like the ex I referred to earlier from Cali. He would make statements like that, and I take heed when I hear stuff like that from a guy. I told him once that there could be a misunderstanding and he see me out with someone and that could be a relative or something. Would he shoot first and ask questions later? He said yes and there would just have to be some casualties! I took all that in and registered it in my head. He married someone else about 2 years later. I still hear from him from time to time, but she is so welcome to him!

By Wise Diva

July 3, 2008 11:02 AM | Link to this

NO worries Raqi, you guys feel free to change it up!

I am leaving today at 1 pm and I have to clear my desk since I am flying to Mexico tomorrow. I won’t return until July 13 and I am scared to find what is waiting for me when I get back to work, LOL. sigh

By Raqi

July 3, 2008 11:04 AM | Link to this

Some good news: My friend Mari gave birth to a 7 lb. baby boy last night. Now they have two babies under a year old.

By The Melo

July 3, 2008 11:04 AM | Link to this

Foots&Kimmie thank u,(all you need is for me to make love to you, everything will be fine). I was so scared because dude was flipping out i had to go to ur pic to look again at ur stats,body, thighs and azz,damn i missed out on that azz coz it sure must have been good for the grren beret guy, and still is..If i strangle the wife,im coming for u Foots…lol

By M.

July 3, 2008 11:04 AM | Link to this

@The Truth

I agree with you man (about using the courts for robbery) because Juanita Jordan to Michael to the BANK! Im from Chicago and never seen her hit a game winning shot, so how the judge granted her $150 Million is crazy….Oprah’s the real genius for not getting married…No man is touching those Billions not even Gayle….LOL

By DasV

July 3, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this

Some people focus on a perceived big problem until you give them something bigger to concentrate on…… simply give her a bigger concern, her own safety. I promise it’ll put it back in perspective for her. dont nothing trump crazy, eh, truth?? heeheheeeheee. thats funny… and true

and what happened to ‘its cheaper to keep her’. there was even a song ‘bout that. but i guess there are songs now-a-days sportin your take on things…. smh

M i dont think that either men or women have a better grasp on emotions over the other. there is a crazy cousin, a jailbird uncle, a cokehead and womanizing someone in every family. there are also, across the spectrum…. gender, race, culture…. those that will justify murder in the name of love. (personally i like kyms aunt’s take on things “graveyard love”)

what amazes me is that ppl actually believe that death is the ultimate act …

By AmazonRed

July 3, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this

WiseDiva - enjoy Mexico! Ole!

So I assume we will have a new blog moderator next week. Give us the scoop!!!

By Foots

July 3, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this

abc That’s just not my experience, foots.

Yeah, probably not, if you don’t date dudes. Or read the news.

Wise Hope you have a nice vacation. Who will be taking over next week?

By Raqi

July 3, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this

WiseDiva tenga un viaje seguro y maraviloso. Y recuerde no beben el agua.

By kimmie

July 3, 2008 11:12 AM | Link to this

Raqi -Congrats to your friend! Is this the friend you talked about about a year ago that was trying to get preggers at 38 so she could have them by 40(or something like that)?

By Foots

July 3, 2008 11:15 AM | Link to this

melo If i strangle the wife,im coming for u Foots…lol

Now that’s a dayum shame! LOL!

Raqi Wow! Two under 1, they have their hands full, but babies are such a blessing. At least they are going to get everything out of the way at once.

Speaking of a bunch of babies, I need to touch base with my old boss, the one with 4 under 18 months. I really don’t know how they do that.

By Raqi

July 3, 2008 11:17 AM | Link to this

Yes Kimmie that’s her. But she didn’t expect to have them so close. But you know things happen.

By Kym aka Lady Sage

July 3, 2008 11:17 AM | Link to this

Wisey Have fun in Mexico bring me back a sombero..Next year for my birthday I think I want to be either in Alaska(watched a documentary about Denali last night) or London.

Alaska in July or London in July…hmmm.

By m'karyl

July 3, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this

I find that it is easier to not go there in the first place…this is not an easy lesson to learn because no one really seeks to become attached to, or allow to become attached, some sort of psychonut…I had to learn to look for certain unstable behaviors on the front end to be able to avoid that mess on the back end. I am very autonomous and the moment I get the slightest inkling that a disattached and independent interaction is not mutually received, I step back…

By The Truth

July 3, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this

M $150 mill? He could have paid $5mill and got professional hit. I hear she was a groupie, was she?

Foot2Azz we’re not talking about the emotion part of it. We all get our feelings hurt. It’s when a person tries to clean you out. I say give them the best you have.

Kimmie if, when we were married, I had walked in the house and found you and a neighbor in bed together I wouldn’t shoot either one of you. I’d have him help pack you out and take you with him. That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about someone taking what I perceive to be mine. In that instance apparently you aren’t mine. You or him trying to take my cash, or home, or even my favorite pair of blue jeans just isn’t going down the way you think it is.

Wise Cozumel, Cancun, or Alcapulco?

By Wise Diva

July 3, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this

oh no, mum’s the word! you guys don’t like surprises?! giggle

Raqi, what does that mean! my Spanish podcast lessons didn’t take me far, LOL

By Raqi

July 3, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

Foots They are 9 months apart. Imagine going for your 6 weeks checkup and your doc says “I have good news and I have bad news and I will give them both to you at the same time. You’re pregnant.” LOL

I would just die.

By Raqi

July 3, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this

Wise Have a wonderful and safe trip. And remember not to drink the water.

By Tazzee

July 3, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this

Kym go a little early and catch Wimbledon. I’ll go with you if you need a travel partner - I’ve been wanting to catch Wimbledon for some time now.

By AGirlfromDC

July 3, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this

The Truth if you had children with the woman, would you keep the children if she decided to leave?

By M.

July 3, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this

@Kym aka Lady Sage

Ive never been to Alaska but if you like NYC, you would like London. Tons to do museums, nightlife, sites, shopping, etc. You will have a blast. Just bring about twice as much money as you would in NY or LA. They accept the euro but the british pound is the main currency($100 dollars is about $51 pounds so plan accordingly)

By M.

July 3, 2008 11:32 AM | Link to this

@Kym aka Lady Sage

Ive never been to Alaska but if you like NYC, you would like London. Tons to do museums, nightlife, sites, shopping, etc. You will have a blast. Just bring about twice as much money as you would in NY or LA. They accept the euro but the british pound is the main currency($100 dollars is about $51 pounds so plan accordingly)

By Jazzyone

July 3, 2008 11:33 AM | Link to this

She may have never hit a shot but she did help him to build up his company and sat on the board along with his mother, from Marketing to sales. She also ran his household without him there from year to year so he could be out there hitting shots and flying through the air. lets be real if your husband is a multi millionaire and you are a stay at home wife, mother rasing 3 to 4 of his kids if you part that woman deserves every penny becasue she is the backbone of that household running it singlehandedly so stop the madness.

By Tazzee

July 3, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this

Raqi I would die too. Congratulations to them though - at least they won’t have to worry about the kids being lonely, or too far apart or anything like that. Also, they’ll save a lot on clothes because as soon as one grows out of them, the other will be in them.

The kicker will be when the first gets to go to ‘big’ school before the other.

By SexyLeggs

July 3, 2008 11:35 AM | Link to this

Truth, you’re the type of man whose morals/convictions a woman could love. On the flip side, you’re one of the scariest dudes I know in cyberspace…yet I still luv ya!

By Tazzee

July 3, 2008 11:39 AM | Link to this

Jazzyone what’s up lady?

By Raqi

July 3, 2008 11:41 AM | Link to this

Mason wants to go on a cruise but I have a problem with being on the water for an extended amount of time. I can swim fine. My dad made us learn. But I have titanicsinkaphobia. And then I have heard that they are overrated.

Who’s been and how was it? Is it true that you have dine with everyone else at a certain time? What’s the average amount of time you get to spend off the boat at each stop? Are the cabins small and stuffy?

By Jazzyone

July 3, 2008 11:43 AM | Link to this

As I duck out..LMAOFF…

By abc

July 3, 2008 11:43 AM | Link to this

foots, of course I don’t date men, and of course I read the news regularly. What gets reported are relatively rare cases that seem to me to correspond to rates of mental instability, so no big surprises there.

That’s tantamount to thinking that since one reads of murders every day in the news, one can expect to be murdered. I mean, come on, we’re talking personal experience here, and the conventional wisdom holds true: women are far more likely to go psycho over a relationship’s demise than men, and the notion that men are more likely to be violent in such a situation is false.

By AmazonRed

July 3, 2008 11:46 AM | Link to this

The kicker will be when the first gets to go to ‘big’ school before the other.

Maybe not Kimmie. I went to college with siblings that are 10 months apart and because of the timing of the school year, they were in the same grade. It was crazy!

By m'karyl

July 3, 2008 11:46 AM | Link to this

@Wise Diva

tenga un viaje seguro y maraviloso. Y recuerde no beben el agua.

Trans=”Have a safe and marvelous trip. And remember not to drink the water.”

By The Truth

July 3, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this

Jazzy it’s real hard ordering nannies and butlers around. That’s worth $150 million. If the situation was reversed and I was with Oprah I wouldn’t be entitled to $150 mill. That’s her money. I was just enjoying it while I was there. Man/woman up and quit trying to take stuff thats not yours. Some folks don’t take kindly to it. That’s that tired azz entitlement attitude kicking in. If she thought it was so hard being there she should leave, with the shyt she has on her back and go back to the life she had before they met. Seems simple to me. On the flip side his stupid azz didn’t have her sign a pre nup. Wow.

DC if it was a boy or if it was a girl and the mom wasn’t shyt I would take them. Also, after child passes the 5-7 year point the moms job is pretty much done. she’s nurtured them when they need it. It’s time to bring in the muscle.

By m'karyl

July 3, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this

OOPS!!! Missed Raui’s post on translation…see,they told me when I was learning to become fluent in Spanish at 15 that I would never use it in this country…uh-huh…lo uso diaramente!!!

By Raqi

July 3, 2008 11:50 AM | Link to this

Tazzee Yeah I guess there are some advantages. Since I ended up with two I would have liked for them to have been two years apart rather than 5. But oh well.

At the beginning of their second pregnancy her husband stopped by our one night with the first baby and he looked like he was just out of it. Mase asked him what’s wrong and he said “I can’t get her to stop crying.” I looked at the baby, she wasn’t crying and she looked fine. So I told him she looks fine and she not crying now. He said “Not the baby, but Marissa. She won’t stop crying.”

By Tazzee

July 3, 2008 11:51 AM | Link to this

Raqi Personally I like cruises. You don’t have to dine with everyone else at the same time because they have other restaurants outside of the main dining room. Also, the cruises I’ve been on allow you to order the menu of the day up to your room.

The time on boat vs time at sea depends on the cruise. Perhaps you should start with a short, 3-day cruise - they usually don’t have a full day at sea.

The cabins are small and stuffy. I’ve always roomed with females so I had no reason to spend a lot of time in the cabins.

Cruising has helped me to determine which islands I might want to visit for a longer period of time. For instance I enjoyed St. Thomas, I could do without St. Maarten.

By abc

July 3, 2008 11:54 AM | Link to this

Raqi, cruises are great if you like the big, beautiful ships! Yes, the cabins are small, but don’t hang out in them — hang out on the entire ship instead. Use the cabin for sleeping.

Yes, there are scheduled dining room times, but there are alternatives. Some cruise lines are starting to go with a setup that doesn’t include scheduled dining.

The longest a ship will stay in a port is usually around 12 hours, 8 or 9 is more likely, 4 to 6 is even possible. If the ports are of interest, consider that cruising to them will allow you a small preview, from which you can choose which ones to visit for longer periods by flying in and staying a week.

I loved working on ships. Being a passenger, not so much.

By M.

July 3, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this

@The Truth

LOL, you are crazy. Yes she was a groupie. Her and her girls would only hang out at athlete functions, etc. She worked at a bank during the day. I know Michael wish he never met her….I think the smartest athlete is LeBron James…monster contracts, one of his best friends is Warren Buffett, and he isnt marrying that girl ever….Its sad how the media addresses her as his long time girlfriend….

By Raqi

July 3, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this

Did you all hear that Russell Simmons only gets to visit his kids every 8 weeks, has to pay $12,000 a month child support, and provide a new car for them to be transported in every other year? Now that’s some bull right there. He must have done some foul crap to sign up for something like that.

I guarantee the money is not an issue with his pockets, but my biggest thing is only getting to see the kids every eight weeks. And having to provide a car that they could care less about.

By M.

July 3, 2008 12:00 PM | Link to this

@The Truth

LOL, you are crazy. Yes she was a groupie. Her and her girls would only hang out at athlete functions, etc. She worked at a bank during the day. I know Michael wish he never met her….I think the smartest athlete is LeBron James…monster contracts, one of his best friends is Warren Buffett, and he isnt marrying that girl ever….Its sad how the media addresses her as his long time girlfriend….

By Tazzee

July 3, 2008 12:01 PM | Link to this

oh and my favorite part of cruising? The karaoke! Well sort of, LOL!

I also like the fact that, once you pay for the cruise, you really don’t have to spend much more money. If you’re like me, you will - especially if you have an uncle that requests some liquor for cheap each time you go, LOL.

By Sexii_26

July 3, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this

I broked up with this guy I had been seeing for 6 months after I found out he was cheating on me…this guy was a very nice person…was never abusive towards me verbally or physically…however, he didn’t take me seriously when I said I was through with him and I didn’t want to be his g/f anymore…he kept coming by my place, early in the mornings/night banging on my window, my door…calling me every five minutes (b/c I didn’t answer my phone). I never thought he would hurt me but all of this stalking scared me…and I didn’t know what to think he would do…so I did answer a couple of times…and he was just begging me to give him another chance or whatever, and I told him I could do better and for him to leave me alone! So, this continued for about a month…and then he stopped and then a month later he started calling and coming by again…I told him after 3 more times if he came over to my place one more time I will call the police and I meant it b/c obviously he wasn’t taking me seriously!! Then I changed my phone number and blocked him from contacting me via email, myspace, facebook, etc. After doing all of that, he hasn’t been at my residence since…He did get him a new email account to try to send me an email…however, I blocked that one too!!

Sometimes you may see the signs and then sometimes you may not! Cause I sure didn’t think he would do all of that at all and no one would have thought he would behave that way either…you just have to be careful cause you never know what some are capable of…luckily my situation wasn’t as bad as it could have been!

By Jazzyone

July 3, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this

M she was not a groupie at all and he pursued her after meeting her not in a groupie environment while she was working she was quite sucessful in her own right. They didn’t have a flashy wedding or engagement, she was about him and he was about her. It wasn’t your typical athlete.chick meeting relationship or marriage.

Truth you have no idea what you are talking about, she worked as hard he did and still does for his company..and ran the household. Having a nanny or a housekeeper is not indicative of a woman sitting on her a* all day and thats not who she is or was or ever will be. It has nothing to do with entitlement. In allot of cases yes, but this isn’t one of them, nor was thier split easy, typical or anything like that.

By M.

July 3, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this

@The Truth

LOL, you are crazy. Yes she was a groupie. Her and her girls would only hang out at athlete functions, etc. She worked at a bank during the day. I know Michael wish he never met her….I think the smartest athlete is LeBron James…monster contracts, one of his best friends is Warren Buffett, and he isnt marrying that girl ever….Its sad how the media addresses her as his long time girlfriend….

By Raqi

July 3, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this

Thanks Taz and abc. The two friends that I have that have been on them both spoke mediocre about them. Especially the port stops. Not really having a enough time to do anything. Mase wants to go in October and being that our anniversary is in the middle of the week this year he wants to do five days. Wednesday thru Sunday.

I guess I could just count it as a new experience. However it being something that I really never had a desire to do.

By AGirlfrom DC

July 3, 2008 12:10 PM | Link to this

Raqi earlier this week i heard something about Russell Simmons “explaining” the terms of his agreement with ex-wife regarding their children—he was quoted as saying that visitation was determined based on the fact that he lives in NY and ex-wife lives in LA; also something about him not traveling with an entourage, but her having bodyguards, nannies, etc. and she wanted the same for children when they’re with him.

By Raqi

July 3, 2008 12:10 PM | Link to this

Tazzee What are some of the better lines to sail with? Lacy and Denise both went with Carnival.

By Love 4 Sale

July 3, 2008 12:16 PM | Link to this

I’m auctioning myself off for a good cause (breast cancer). No one knows that I’m taking this serious. I’m really looking forward to meeting a nice man. How serious do you think the men will be when they bid on me?

By The Truth

July 3, 2008 12:19 PM | Link to this

Jazzy the bottom line is she did what everyone else has done but she expects 150 mill because the guy has it. Had she been married to a barber she’d settle for a weekly haircut for the kids. I’m sure she was a real successful teller. And siting on a board is not hard work. She wasn’t a decision maker. Like I said though, he’s an idiot for not signing a pre-nup.

M Warren kicked out the biggest jewel to be found. Own nothing and control everything. That includes women. Use your wealth to attract them but don’t let them into your inner circle. They’ll ruin your long term plans. LOL Kids=long term debt.

By M.

July 3, 2008 12:21 PM | Link to this

@Jazzyone

How would you know this? Trust me in Chicago…Her girls they got around

By abc

July 3, 2008 12:21 PM | Link to this

Carnival sucks, nothing but a drunken brawl on a trashed up scow. Carnival owns some of the other lines, but their own brand is marketed toward those who want to cruise to party only. Royal Carribean and Norwegian are nice low to mid-priced lines. Holland America is an older crowd. Princess is nice, Celebrity is coming up with some new ships the last few years. Cunard is more trans-Atlantic, higher priced, older and more refined crowd.

By Tazzee

July 3, 2008 12:22 PM | Link to this

Raqi Carnival is the ‘fun ship’ - I prefer Royal Caribbean. The only thing, IMO, Carnival has on RC is they have a bigger and better karaoke selection.

By AGirlfromDC

July 3, 2008 12:23 PM | Link to this

Raqi might you consider checking out cruises.com?

By Blue Kolla

July 3, 2008 12:25 PM | Link to this

Ared Folks today are coddled and therefore, no one can take rejection well. Men today are much weaker then men of yesteryear. People have a sense of entitlement.

Which is why I make it a point to tell my kid, “No,” real regular like; just because…

Sorry Raqi but I have to disagree with you. I’ve said before, that I think that obsessive, psychotic behavior is a progression. When I see those early signs I gets gone.

I remember this one broad that got all funky b/c I asked my cousin about a destination that we were traveling to. She got all nutty and was like, “Why’d you have to ask him?!” My response was, “Because his wife is from there. Me and you ain’t never been there. And as a matter of fact, since you want to get all funky about something like that, I ain’t going.” And I ain’t seen that broad since.

People don’t just wake up PO’d and want to kill up the house. There’s some signs, and if you keep your eyes open, they’ll be crystal clear.

QC What up slim. ;)

By M.

July 3, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this

@Jazzyone

How would you know this? Trust me in Chicago…Her girls they got around

By Kym aka Lady Sage

July 3, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this

Tazzee Girl I might hold you to that offer..problem is my son wants to see London..I could come back with the complete set of Mister Bean and the British versions of Harry Potter and buy him off though. My birthday is July 10th..when does Wimbledon start?(if it is not football I don’t commit it to memory)

Raqi I love cruising..if you ever get the chance watch the travel channel Sandra Brown(or Sarah I think) anywhoo she does a preview of one of Royal Caribbean’s biggest ships..trust me that cruise is not overrated and there are tons of activites on board. The food well there is a ton of it.

By The Truth

July 3, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this

Fellas, if you want to see a man get straight raped look at this settlement. Being a father is one of the most fugged up jobs in america. LOL Read down to the final terms. They neutered that guy. Wow.

http://sohhdotcom.blogspot.com/2008/06/626-russell-simmons-ordered-to-pay-40k.html

By AmazonRed

July 3, 2008 12:27 PM | Link to this

How would you know this? Trust me in Chicago…Her girls they got around

That’s what I’ve “heard” to. Of course she was pregnant when they married and she used that as leverage. She had a career, but wasn’t on the management track or anything.

Kobe Bryant may suffer the same fate. He wasn’t exactly trying to get married, but Vanessa was 17 and had leverage by being underage. Rumor had it that gramps was willing create a PR nightmare for the squeaky clean (at the time) Kobe so he went ahead and married her.

He had no prenup either but I believe he got her to sign something eventually after they married.

By Kym aka Lady Sage

July 3, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this

Yeah Raqi Carnival is really the fun ship..lots of families and kids..here check out Royal’s line of ships Royal Caribbean

I soooo want to do the Alaska cruise.

By The Truth

July 3, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this

A midday funny.

The UPS Man

One Monday morning the UPS man is driving the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes, he noticed that both cars were in the driveway.

His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles.

“Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night,” the UPS man comments.

Bob,in obvious pain, replies “Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first time I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. we had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. Hell, we all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I?”

The UPS man thinks a moment and says, “How do you play WHO AM I?”

“Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and with only our ‘privates’ showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is.”

The UPS man laughs and says, “Damn, I’m sorry I missed that.”

“Probably a good thing you did,” Bob responded. “Your name came up seven times that night”

By Foots

July 3, 2008 12:36 PM | Link to this

abc the conventional wisdom holds true: women are far more likely to go psycho over a relationship’s demise than men, and the notion that men are more likely to be violent in such a situation is false.

Whose conventional wisdom?

Raqi Who’s been and how was it? Is it true that you have dine with everyone else at a certain time? What’s the average amount of time you get to spend off the boat at each stop? Are the cabins small and stuffy?

Haven’t read other’s responses about this yet, so I’ll put my own two cents in…

I love cruises, though after 5 days, it gets monotonous. Yes, you can decide on the time that you eat in the main dining room, but you can eat anywhere else during the time they serve food. Some places are open 24 hours for snack food like ice cream and pizza. And they have midnight food presentations, so stay up late. It’s actually fun eating with others and getting to know them, until about the 3rd night, then you’d probably just order room service.

The time off the ship varies, but it gives you enough time to do an excursion and go shopping. Some of the short Bahamas cruises are overnighters, and some you’ll get to port at 8:00AM and leave at 5 or 6 PM. The ones I’ve been on, we’ve had about 5 or 6 hours at each port.

The cabins are small, but surprisingly you don’t really feel stuffy. Getting an outside cabin helps it feel more open, and I imagine that a balcony cabin would too (though I haven’t tried that and don’t think I will). Just make sure that when you choose your room (they should have the layout online), stay away from the elevators or you get no rest. The rooms in the middle of the ship are best and try not to get on a floor either directly above or below the main dining rooms or the theaters.

I’ll think of more in a minute…

By AlohaGator

July 3, 2008 12:36 PM | Link to this

The guys are taking an enormous beating on this blog today.

Normally I would never comment on a woman’s blog but I have something to say.

Psycho behavior should NEVER be tolerated from anyone. The rules should apply equally to men and woman and they DO NOT!!!!!!!

I can give several examples but I will only list two here.

First… About 5 years ago my ex-girlfriend showed up unannounced at my front door and broke into my apartment. She broke things off with me two weeks earlier. At the time I was having dinner with a “new friend”. She went berzerk !!!!!

She attacked me and my friend, threw a TV out a window, smashed artwork, threw a vodka bottle at me and hit me in the head requiring 12 stitches then ran out the door.

When the police arrived we told them exactly what had happened and that I wanted to press criminal charges. After they cops finished laughing at me they just left. They had no intention of arresting her. NOW … If the sexes involved had been reversed I would have been under the jail.

DO NOT TELL ME THINGS ARE EQUAL !!!

WOMAN CAN GET AWAY WITH BLOODY MURDER AND CLAIM THEY HAD PMS AND NEVER WILL EVER HAPPEN TO THEM !!!! Bury the guy… It’s always HIS fault !!!!

Second… The reason cliches are popular are because they’re true. “Hell hath no fury as a woman’s scorn” … YEAH !!!!!!!

You woman need to take responsibility for YOUR POOR CHOICES.

The Hawaiian Gator

By Tazzee

July 3, 2008 12:37 PM | Link to this

Kym - It starts mid-June and ends right around the 4th. The women’s finals are this Saturday and we know Venus is in.

By Blue Kolla

July 3, 2008 12:39 PM | Link to this

Sexy Then I changed my phone number…

I’m not changing my number for no silly broad. And I don’t understand why females change their numbers for some knucklehead dude. Now employing Truth’s wisdom on dealing with an agressive dog, changing your number, blocking email, etc is akin to running. You’ve got to face that clown head-on. Tell him that if he keeps that up, you’re going to put the po-po on that azz, and if he comes by tappin’ on your window you’ll bust one through the glass, and how you ain’t violent but you ain’t about to let anybody hurt you (and mean it).

Here’s another tip for the ladies - Every now and then in the beginning stages of your relationship, make a comment about how you really like how that little .25 fits in the leg of some wideleg pants or how you think that going to the range is good for hand-eye coordination.

You ain’t even gotta get the gun, but it will leave a thought in dudes head that he won’t forget. Believe that!

By AlohaGator

July 3, 2008 12:39 PM | Link to this

The guys are taking an enormous beating on this blog today.

Normally I would never comment on a woman’s blog but I have something to say.

Psycho behavior should NEVER be tolerated from anyone. The rules should apply equally to men and woman and they DO NOT!!!!!!!

I can give several examples but I will only list two here.

First… About 5 years ago my ex-girlfriend showed up unannounced at my front door and broke into my apartment. She broke things off with me two weeks earlier. At the time I was having dinner with a “new friend”. She went berzerk !!!!!

She attacked me and my friend, threw a TV out a window, smashed artwork, threw a vodka bottle at me and hit me in the head requiring 12 stitches then ran out the door.

When the police arrived we told them exactly what had happened and that I wanted to press criminal charges. After they cops fi