Misadventures in Atlanta

By Kym aka Lady Sage

July 7, 2008 8:10 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All and Welcome Blanca!

I think we all have a internal warning systemthat screams DANGER(INSERT YOUR NAME HERE)DANGER!! But sometimes we are so caught up in the good time of it all that we failed to see the flashing lights and railway warning signal lights. I know I have some heavy…heavy..heavy regrets about dating and or having sex with some guys but I believe everything happens for a reason…if nothing else but to serve as a warning to others. See what can happen if you don’t pay attention. We live, love, laugh and learn.

By AmazonRed

July 7, 2008 8:10 AM | Link to this

Welcome Blanca!!!. You are already off to a good start. The blog opened on time! I hope we don’t run you off screaming.

This part, however, may pose a problem: It seems the more I date, the less I know, and that’s where you all come in. I’m hoping you can give me the wisdom I’ll surely need as I continue on the quest for the proverbial true love. Except for a very select few of us, it’s the blind leading the blind on here! :-P

I’m getting blog topic deja vu. Oh yeah, we talked about this in November http://www.accessatlanta.com/blogs/content/shared-blogs/ajc/dating/entries/2007/11/27/unfinished.html But I guess enough time has passed to talk about this again!

Tough room yes, but welcome. Stick to your guns and you’ll be fine!

Good morning to the rest of the blog! I hope everyone had a fabulous holiday!

By Raqi

July 7, 2008 8:19 AM | Link to this

Welcome Blanca

By GaMan

July 7, 2008 8:23 AM | Link to this

Good Morning and Welcome Blanca

By SexyLeggs

July 7, 2008 8:44 AM | Link to this

Good morning Blogsville.

Welcome Blanca. Looking forward to your topics.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TERESA. Hope you have a great and glorious day!

By SlimOne

July 7, 2008 9:06 AM | Link to this

Welcome Blanca

Blogsville, we’re getting off to a slow start I see. Will smell ya’ll later

By GaMan

July 7, 2008 9:08 AM | Link to this

GaMan looks around….trying to see where all of the regulars are

Truth…Mo…ForReal…Stayece(sp)…QC…RandyT(just joking)

Hey A-Red,Raqi,Sexyleggs

By Blow Me......PLEASE blow me!!

July 7, 2008 9:09 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All

BLOW is back in the hizouse!!

Happy Birthday Teresa a.k.a T-Money!! Truth owes you your birthday licks…I hear he is the best in the business…Oh yeah can’t forget about Alvin/Demi

Woman do not need red flags..When tend to over think and analzye things too much. Men usually UNDERthink alot of situations..That’s why they get into relationships that never should have been and women ruin relationships for thinking too much. Just fuggin relax and get a shot of this CIROC…Drink and be merry..it’s really time out for the B.S.

OH yea!! BLANCA (welcome to THE JUNGLE…..now playing in the back ground)

Blanca You are in for a serious…bumpy, crazy, deranged….off the chain ride…Enjoy yo self…Ppl on here on opinionated and sweet at the same time. We fight, We cuss, we hug, we drink together, some of us are probably sleepin together..lol..But we still iz together…..BLOG HUG EVERYONE…oh yeah Truth don’t go so hard on her the first day…..Guys be soft on her for the first week.

One last thing Blanca word of advice…..If you plan on making this a smooth copasetic. Whatever you do..Open the Blog on time….These ppl will rip you a new a*******hole if you don’t…including me. But go get em TIGER!!! lol!

By SexyLeggs

July 7, 2008 9:11 AM | Link to this

As far as the “red flag” theory goes, we have all had that gut feeling that we ignored. It’s certainly a part of dating. When this is done, hopefully something was learned. I did something my gut told me not to do. I asked a guy out for drinks and a bite to eat. By doing this I was going to pay since I initiated the date. Well, he was glad I called and said yes. We had a set time. He was to meet me at my place. I waited for awhile then resigned that this date would not take place. He called me 3 hrs. later to see what I was doing and if I wanted company….CLICK! My gut told me when I first made the phone call, not to do it!!!!

By 2CPTG©

July 7, 2008 9:15 AM | Link to this

morning y’all…….

ya know, while we’re (y’all) welcoming the new moderator and all….methinks it’s kinda unfair to Diva…she’s gotta keep coming up with fresh shyt, while they replace theirs periodically, and it’s the same stuff all over again…….Red Flags?

By AmazonRed

July 7, 2008 9:16 AM | Link to this

Good morning GaMan.. Thanks for the shout.

Happy Birthday Teresa.

LOL @ Blow Me’s post.

By SexyLeggs

July 7, 2008 9:21 AM | Link to this

Good morning GAMan. How’s it hanging…oops, how are things going (LOL)?

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

July 7, 2008 9:23 AM | Link to this

Morning All! Welcome Blanca

Hope everyone had a great holiday!

BRB need to get a pepsi

By M.

July 7, 2008 9:32 AM | Link to this

@SexyLeggs

I waited for awhile then resigned that this date would not take place

What made you decide this?

I think the gut feeling situation I had was meeting a girl at a bar and then heading to the next spot with her. Something told me that I should just relax, but I felt like partying and had no one to hang with so we jump in the car, head out to Flambeaux to hang out and everything was cool….so I thought…The next thing I know she goes to the bathroom and comes back sayin…I just got a text message from my ex boyfriend and he is coming up here. You need to LEAVE! He is crazy and Im like why did I know this would happen…Drama…

By Bit-O-Hunny

July 7, 2008 9:34 AM | Link to this

Morning Blogsville and welcome BLANCA!! I think we all see the flags, but stick around b/c we falsely assume that we can “change” a person, and/or because there is no one else to entertain the needyness.

By M.

July 7, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this

@SexyLeggs

I waited for awhile then resigned that this date would not take place

What made you decide this?

I think the gut feeling situation I had was meeting a girl at a bar and then heading to the next spot with her. Something told me that I should just relax, but I felt like partying and had no one to hang with so we jump in the car, head out to Flambeaux to hang out and everything was cool….so I thought…The next thing I know she goes to the bathroom and comes back sayin…I just got a text message from my ex boyfriend and he is coming up here. You need to LEAVE! He is crazy and Im like why did I know this would happen…Drama…

By Raqi

July 7, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this

While seemingly unfair, it is a task Diva continues to choose to take on. When Bella announced her departure I already assumed that we would get mostly repeats. There are only so many different dating happenings that can take place. It’s all in how it is presented. Diva’s entries chime about 10 years more mature than all the past moderators. So even if she doubles back on one of theirs it comes off with a different perspective.

But yeah…

By GaMan

July 7, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this

Sexyleggs it’s hanging…lolol how have you ma….

2C you are right…I come back and Bam new person….I was like where is Bella

I hope you all had a great 4th

By The Truth

July 7, 2008 9:44 AM | Link to this

Happy Birthday Teresa. I’d love to put you over my knee and tear that azz up. If you like it rough drop me a line.

Blanca Welcome to blog hell. My advice, try to have fun because you won’t be learning much in this camp about dating. The same dsyfuncional folks you meet on the street are in here blogging. LMAO

Don’t take this personal but AJC is fuggin up. I can see why their circulation is dropping. We didn’t need another female moderator, we needed a dude, then we can get new topics like “My girlfriend just told me she’s pregnant and I was about to tell her it’s over. Should I move to Montana or Idaho?” or “Am I justified for slapping the shyt out of this chick for mentioning marriage AGAIN?” Those would be priceless.

On a sad note, I had to bury a long term eating utensil this weekend. I dropped and cracked my favorite blue Dino Bowl. This bowl was triple sized and could hold anything short of a whole watermelon. I’ve had it for about 7 years and I’ll defintely miss it. I haven’t been this devastated since I melted down my favorite microwave plate a few years back. Now this hurts.

Good morning blogsville. Everyone wake the hellz up.

By Raqi

July 7, 2008 9:48 AM | Link to this

The ideal change would be to match Diva with a 30+ male moderator. Preferably Caucasian to add some real variance to the blend.

By AmazonRed

July 7, 2008 9:51 AM | Link to this

I guess I should get on topic today:

What do you think about my “red flag” theory? Are there times you had a gut feeling you ignored, and later regretted?

Well, I can’t say I’ve ignored red flags for too long. This is one reason that I haven’t had long term relationships. Once the red flag goes up, it’s hard for me to ignore. I break it up before the red flag turns into a train wreck of a relationship.

Some of my friends argue that I’m cutting off potential great relationships by not giving them a chance. The only chance I see is for me to kick myself later for not listening to myself earlier.

In efforts to be more tolerant, I’ve kept a guy in the picture for a few more dates than I intended. All it does is solidify my decision to get out before it gets worse.

By SlimOne

July 7, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this

I agree with Truth. I feel it would be a GREAT welcome change to, if not everyday, but every other day, to have a male moderator on with male-related issues.

Truth Why don’t you be responsible for posting our daily blog topic change from male perspective? If you can’t take it on full time, would you be willing to do it a few times a week like today when we are sort of burned out on this topic of RED FLAGS????

By Foots

July 7, 2008 9:56 AM | Link to this

M. What made you decide this?

Shoot, I may be in the minority on this, but if me and a guy had a date set up and he agreed to meet me at my house, I waited for hours and he didn’t show up, I’d decide that the date wasn’t happening either.

SexyLeggs That’s jacked up. I’ve heard of forgetful, but dang. Something similar has happened to me before, so I understand. A dude that was on the outs called me and begged me to spend some time with him, whatever I wanted to do. I made the date against my better judgement, or rather, we set the date for when he would be back in town and available. That day comes and goes and he calls me like three days later. I answered the phone because I was curious about what he would say. He was like, “So, what’s up? How are you?” When I told him that he missed the date he asked me for, he was like, “Well, I was still out of town. But I promise that I’ll make it up to you.” It was funny how his phone worked while he was out of town to ask me out, but it didn’t work to cancel or acknowledge anything.

Needless to say, I never answered his calls or texts again. He sent the requisite “I never meant for things to turn out like this…I wish we could just start over” back to back novel-length texts about a month later, with no response from me. I should have remembered that he was on the outs for not keeping his word to begin with.

By kimmie

July 7, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

Morning blog fam! Hope everyone had a safe & happy 4th weekend.

Welcome Blanca! Do you really want to do this?

By 2CPTG©

July 7, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

The real shyt is happening over at the Woman to Woman blog…..”Should prostitution be legalized outside of Nevada”……

By The Melo

July 7, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this

Diva’s entries chime about 10 years more mature than all the past moderators she is about 45 years in real age,but 31 or sme as Diva on blog. Hey Blayoungernca, u started bad but hopefully ull grow in the position.

By SexyLeggs

July 7, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this

M, we agreed to meet at my place around 9:30-9:45. At 10:45 I mentally called it a wrap. I wasn’t dressed yet so no problem changing clothes. (I don’t put my clothes on until I’m ready to leave - don’t believe in sitting around trying not to get my clothes wrinkled). Anyway, when he called 3 hrs. later nothing needed to be said. Yes, I had to pick up the phone simply to get the satisfaction of hanging up!

BTW M, she was a fool to even tell her ex where she was (being that he’s crazy). She only did that because she wanted to be with him and not you. Sorry!

By Foots

July 7, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this

Amazon Some of my friends argue that I’m cutting off potential great relationships by not giving them a chance.

This made me laugh because this weekend at the two cookouts I went to, all of my friends (and one of my girl’s mama) were like, “So, how long you gonna keep this one? You know you keep it moving if he ain’t right.” After hearing that 6 times from 6 different people, I couldn’t do anything but shake my head at myself.

It got to the point one time when I’d tell my old boss about somebody and he’d pull out his calendar to schedule the End-of-Dude Debriefing Session. He only gave me about 7 weeks each time. When my row started taking bets on how long I would keep a new guy around, I stopped telling them shyt. LOL!!

So I’m with you. I’ve had some things go wrong in the early stages, red flags I knew I couldn’t deal with, and gotten out before they became worse.

By The Truth

July 7, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this

M aka The Cabbie I just got a text message from my ex boyfriend and he is coming up here. You need to LEAVE! He is crazy and Im like why did I know this would happen…Drama…

How does it feel to be a taxi cab? That chick didn’t have a boyfriend, she just saw some other cats she wanted to talk with and was trying to get rid of you. And if he did come what the fugg was he gonna do? His girl is out driving around with perfect strangers. Please tell me you didn’t leave. Even if you have to lie.

By Raqi

July 7, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this

In Blanca’s situation that is definitely a Red Flagger. But I have found sometimes, and still do listening to others, that not all red flags are what they seem. Sometimes people tend to mentally fabricate a RF for fear of getting too deep into the relationship. Some people have gone thru so many bad relationships that they see something that is not there in a new one therefore justifying their early departure. Some people are just too darn picky and refuse to grasp the notion that no one is perfect. Not all red flags are such.

(Just trying to throw in a something different)

By KP (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

July 7, 2008 10:10 AM | Link to this

SlimOne, Truth cannot be the male moderator because he’ll have everyone on the blog disappointed, unhappy based on his pessimistic view of life and relationships. You know Truth thinks hope is lost for happiness in relationships.

Sup Truth :)!

By GaMan

July 7, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

Truth another good male topic would be

Why are Church women crazy as Hellz

Why DO women want you to have ABC when she doesnt

I am pretty sure we could get a different feel of things it the topics would come from a Man’s point of view

To any one that might have been offened well….I just dont care..lololollolol

Hey Slim

By mytwocents

July 7, 2008 10:13 AM | Link to this

Hi Blanca. I ignore red flags when I have too much free time and decide to entertain some foolishness w/ only a dim hope of being proven wrong. But yeah, it’s usually some b.s.

You’ve already made me chuckle cuz yous a tired, weary, yet hopeful 20-something woman. Unless you started waaay early, I’m gonna say you’ve gotta remain “hopeful” at least another ten years, tho I will allow tiny doses of bitterness every 6-9 mos. Hmmm I was expecting a dude too. Like maybe KP had been layin low to get ready to stir it up or sumthin. But at least we got a healthy baby. ;)

Cee If ya peekin in, I been thinking bout you & your girl. I know it’s hard to cope w/. Hugs…

By The Melo

July 7, 2008 10:14 AM | Link to this

Should prostitution be legalized outside of Nevada thats a good topic 2CPTG Congressman and other big politicians already have their own brothels in Washington, i dnt understand why that benefit is not being extended to the rest of the popn.

By IslandGirl

July 7, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this

Morning All! Welcome Blanca

I agree with Blow’s post ^5. Hope everyone had a great holiday weekend.

I’m in vacation mode.

By 2CPTG©

July 7, 2008 10:18 AM | Link to this

Raqi…they tried that with a caucasian, male blog moderator….you prolly forgot, ‘cause you were Scorned back then.

By the game

July 7, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this

It’s all a GAME, learn how to play it. When a man is into you, you’ll know it by his actions, you won’t have to wait and wonder why he hasn’t called or call you back, all the why’s will not be in the equation. I’ve learn to be a good player and not be offensive when it doesn’t play in my favor. I’m playing the game with a fellow as I blog. He started it and now I will finish it. In the meantime I will not lay all my cards on the table for one man. This weekend I went to two cookout with two different players, one called yesterday but I declined the invitation, but bet we will be going out this coming weekend. I see it as this, until he says the word commitment I will NOT commit any of my energy with one man. I will NOT sit and wait for his calls or invitation for a date, as for the red flags, if he displays then he’ll be put on the far back burner, it’s a wrap.

By Kym aka Lady Sage

July 7, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this

I agree with Raqi because I am a overthinker..sometimes what is nothing can become something really quick..because I am referencing the behavior of some other guy from long ago to a situation that I am dealing with right now.

Truth sorry to hear about your loss..I can truly understand the loss of kitchen utensils..my son..broke my blender and the piece to replace it was no longer available..just the horror of it all.

By Foots

July 7, 2008 10:24 AM | Link to this

KP You know Truth thinks hope is lost for happiness in relationships.

Now, that’s not entirely true. He believes that there is no hope for marriage and fidelity. Relationship happiness is still on the table for him, shoot, he’s probably had some of the longest relationships out of all of us…

And for the record, I was actually hoping that our new person was a dude too. I thought that’s why it was such a big secret who the new moderator was.

But Blanca, welcome and I hope you do well. Take note though, please read the blog and interact with us throughout the day. If you’d like to get advice from some bloggers, you have to check back in from time and time and mix it up with us. Just don’t post your topic in the morning and let us have it, be a blogger too.

By Binford2K8

July 7, 2008 10:24 AM | Link to this

Welcome Blanca

You know, eventually a weakness or vulnerable moment comes up for everyone. It’s just gives one a case of heebs and jeebs if it is right away.

I, like most folks, look to establish a pattern of consistency from someone I am dating. For example: If I am dating someone for a year and she trusts me enough to let out something that was bothering her (like mommy and daddy issues) - that would be ok. But as long as she moved on and she wanted to share her innermost with me is cool.

I’m just not a live-in therapist; nor do I want someone who has strong moments in between a daily vulnerable.

But in time, something always comes out and makes someone vulnerable. That’s bound to happen as long as it’s not one of many in a laundry list of maladies.

By SlimOne

July 7, 2008 10:24 AM | Link to this

KP You might have a point about Truth but we need to come up with a male blogger that’s willing to step up that’s going to give us real life issues to discuss, male-wise. Truth maybe a little harsh at times but to him the things he speaks about is real to him. If nothing else, he’ll give us something to fight about. LOL!

Blogsville Anyone have a nominee for the Male-Blogger-Perspective??? Or any men willing to step up to the challenge? If the thought of having to come up with a topic too often is deterring you all to accept the challenge, maybe we can delegate it out to a different person day-to-day. What’ll ya say?

By The Truth

July 7, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this

KP I’m not pessimistic about relationships. Hell I’ve spent more time in them than dam near anyone on this blog. I’ve got more time in relationships than you do in that bible. I counted 19 out of the last 25 years I’ve been in relationships. And I’VE been happy all 19 years, although I don’t know about my mates (It’s my job to make sure I’m always happy). My amazement is that the folks that claim to want to be in relationships the most know absolutely nothing about them.

Personally I take a practical view of relationships. They’re not the end all be all. They’re just a phase of your life that you share with someone else.

I do have a problem with marriage and the legalities involved with it. It’s a lose/lose situation for a dude.

BTW, for the ladies that stated last week that a chick was deserving of a guys cash when they split, do you feel she should have to take some of his debt too?

By Raqi

July 7, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this

2CPTG I remember. I don’t think that was really a guy first of all. And secondly I think he needs to be older. Or more mature for that matter. 35-40ish range maybe.

But then what does my opinion matter? I am not even dating. LOL

By SexyLeggs

July 7, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this

Truth, didn’t think of the cabbie route, but you just might be right.

By Cinderella

July 7, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this

Bienvenido Blanca! And Good Morning Bloggers…

In the past I had been guilty of seeing the blaring, flashing red flags and totally ignored them. I regretted it every time. My mom always said I have to do everything the hard way! How right she is. Now I listen to my instincts and move with caution. It’s the best way to avoid regrets.

By 2CPTG©

July 7, 2008 10:32 AM | Link to this

KP sound like he hatin’!

By SexyLeggs

July 7, 2008 10:42 AM | Link to this

thegame, I thoroughly understand what you’re saying. Since I’m new on the dating scene I’ve been watching and taking notes. I will not put all my cards on the table. I will be upfront and honest and enjoy your company and see how things unfold. As for my weekend fiasco, I know this guy really, really likes me. But, more importantly, I know he has no concept of time and sees nothing wrong with calling 3-4 hours after designated outing was to occur. I won’t tolerate this so I resigned early into the waiting for him to call that this wasn’t going to happen. And if it did happen it would be on me accepting how he blatantly disrespects others time. I wasn’t going to allow this to happen.

By Sidelines

July 7, 2008 10:45 AM | Link to this

Good Morning, All…hopefully everyone had a wonderful 4th.

Welcome Blanca, you poor thing, this blog is pretty tough, huh??? Cause your watching the fate of your very existence right before your eyes…lmao! Unfortunately for you…the blog is voting on who the next moderator should be. Hang in there young lady…

On topic…But I have found sometimes, and still do listening to others, that not all red flags are what they seem. Sometimes people tend to mentally fabricate a RF for fear of getting too deep into the relationship. Some people have gone thru so many bad relationships that they see something that is not there in a new one therefore justifying their early departure. Some people are just too darn picky and refuse to grasp the notion that no one is perfect. Not all red flags are such.…Raqi, I totally agree, I was just digging my bestfriends behind about that.

I’m like how is dude going to know that this bothers you, if your on the phone telling me about it and not letting him in on the secret…hello??? I’m like what is he suppose to be psychic…smh.

By Cemeeli

July 7, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this

Hey in here. …It’s Monday again!? hhhuuum

mytwocents I know you were a real “hot-mamma-ice-cream” this past holiday. Thanks for the shout out. I am well and so is my girl she has been exceptionally well and they hung w/ me @ the Tank this w/e the hubby and kids we’re sooo thankful to enjoy that with all that has been going on with the morther passing. *Initially I wasn’t going to invite but it worked out for the best.

Thanks *QC for your famous “Holla”. Glad you are feeling better and hope your reunion was a blast…if your folks are anywhere as wild as mine, I’m sure you punctured some stomach muscle this w/e.

Where is that belt girl kimmie? Hey up to ya!…Did you spend your July 4th with Ginseng and the lil tea bags? Okay so, now chica you have inspired me to prompt ‘Big Foot’ 2 think about re-trying the karate arts this summer. He has finished his bgnr fencing classes, so we’ll see.

Hi Bahia Blanca!…that’s a neat moniker Is that resemblance to the Spanish word blanco?

By Jason

July 7, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this

Blogging about dating and/or sex is a red flag. Seriously.

By IslandGirl

July 7, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

Truth you make an interesting argument when you say it is a lose/lose situation for a dude in a relationship. You’ve made this comment several times in the past. It would seem to me if that is how you feel and is a summation of your past relationships then you really have not been happy in all of your relationships (19 years). Now go easy on me…..I’m just sharing my thoughts here.

For anyone (male or female) to share their full existence with another person is a gamble. We all come into relationships with different personalities and life experiences; and expects those things (baggage) to blend without disturbance. Heck if that was the case; we would all have perfect relationships. Folks are so lost in regards to expectations. We are expecting too much from each other especially when we don’t have our own house in order. Just my two cent.

Foots that was some good advice you gave to Blanca.

I nominate the following guys: KP, ABC, GaMan, Poppa Grande, Darrell, Truth, Demi, Real, 2CPTG©, and Blue to contribute topics for the blog. Topics from these guys would be a good mix. Some days would be off the chain!

By Raqi

July 7, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

Kym immediately following my disaster with whitebread every man that approached me was an azzhole. No matter what he said that sound legitimate, he had an ulterior motive that I knew was going to leave me hurt and broken. I know I probably ticked off and passed on some good ones for that reason. And a few times I did do or say things to get the dreaded outcome that I just knew was bound to happen. I made it happen. So yeah those RF are sometimes our imagination and/or constructing.

By SexyLeggs

July 7, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

BTW Truth, I feel you for your loss. There’s nothing like losing a good cooking utensil or mixing bowl. I would be devastated if I broke the glass pan I make my mac/cheese in or the mixing bowl I use to mix the ingredients…those two go hand in hand! Well, hopefully you’ll break the new bowl in real soon!

By Foots

July 7, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

Truth SEE?? I had your back at 10:24. I understand you so thoroughly. LOL!! Do I get a cookie? Chocolate chip, please… ;-)

Slim we need to come up with a male blogger that’s willing to step up that’s going to give us real life issues to discuss, male-wise

I vote for the alternating entry method, different dudes posting, with the blog topic change at noon. We really need somebody who won’t back down from a discussion, we’ve seen some of these dudes run when folks disagreed with them or when they were challenged. Don’t need that. Some of the dudes that I don’t believe have ever backed down from a good blog discussion are 2C, Truth, BlueK and SeanJ. Even Binford hangs in there tough. LOL! That’s five right there, one for each day of the week.

By kimmie

July 7, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this

I have on a long-sleeved cardigan sweater over my sundress. I have a heating pad and a fleece blanket that I keep on my chair. I am still freezing my butt off in this office! I know they must have had the AC on over the weekend, but dang!

Amred - Did you watch Army Wives yesterday?

By the game

July 7, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this

Good for you SexyLeggs I’ve been the one with a low self esteem and no I’n not ashame to say it, but after being played time and time again I learn to either play fire with fire or get burned. Don’t get me wrong, I do desire to be in a commited relationship, but to sit back and take the mess that most men dish out just to see how far they can drag me is not an option for me. I’ve never been a dater, always in a commited relationship. What I dreaded I’m actually liking since it gives me the power to chose who I date rather than sit and take what is given to me.

By The Truth

July 7, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this

Ig I said the legalities in marriage, not dating. Dating is cool. Marriage is fugged up.

Foots thanks for the support. LOL 1 order of cookies coming up.

By LorDemi

July 7, 2008 10:58 AM | Link to this

*Death is on the tip of her tongue and dangers at the tip of her fingers Streets Are On Fire To- Night

Death is on the tip of her tongue and dangers at the tip of her fingers Streets Are On Fire To- Night*

….The scientists said it only infects the mind The little boy said it only infects the girls The preacher man said it’s gonna kill off the soul A bum said it’s gonna kill the whole wide world

Blanca HEY BEY…

A.Red WTF!?!…You actually keep track of the shyt???? LOL

Now heading back to slave row W78

By the game

July 7, 2008 11:00 AM | Link to this

It’s my job to make sure I’m always happy). Well said Truth I used to let others be responsible for my happiness but those were the days that’s long gone. I’m having a ball and I am finally loving life….

By 2CPTG©

July 7, 2008 11:00 AM | Link to this

“Hi Bahia Blanca!…that’s a neat moniker Is that resemblance to the Spanish word blanco?”

I wuddn’t gon’ say nuttin….but, if my Spanglish serves me correctly, blanco means white…and the use of the “a” at the end connotes the feminine persuasion…….White Girl???

By M.

July 7, 2008 11:01 AM | Link to this

@SexyLeggs

I didnt know you had to wait that long…Do you think he changed his mind or was just being late?

@The Truth

I dont think you read the whole message.. I met her that night at the bar…She had her own car. We just followed each other to Flambeaux. And no I didnt leave because I saw my old coworkers there and we all were chillin anyways. I dont know if he ever showed up, but it got so crowded we didnt notice. Funny thing is she text me that her car didnt start. Funny how things work out..

By Foots

July 7, 2008 11:02 AM | Link to this

IslandG Thanks, but this young lady will need all the help she can get. We are a straight crazy bunch. LOL!!

you make an interesting argument when you say it is a lose/lose situation for a dude in a relationship.

He just thinks that marriage is lose-lose for men. Relationships are fine, just don’t let it become a marriage. LOL

Jason The AJC hosts about 60 blogs, speaking on every topic under the sun. You’re saying that dating and relationships shouldn’t be one of them?

By Utopia

July 7, 2008 11:04 AM | Link to this

I nomimate 1)Dushawn 2)Truth minus being jaded 3)SJ3000

By AmazonRed

July 7, 2008 11:05 AM | Link to this

kimmie - I watched.

LorDemi - The AJC keeps track. All you have to do is click the link on the left.

By Cemeeli

July 7, 2008 11:06 AM | Link to this

Hope everyone had a blessed w/e…waving to all

Glad to see you all made it back safely to your individual “posting portals”…

By DasV

July 7, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this

good morning err’body

as usual my two favorite male bloggers got me smiling this morning. dropping grin to be serious sorry ‘bout yo dish, Truth. gladware is pretty good, by way of suggestion… and they dont break. you know that wasnt the first time you’d dropped that bowl… :)

touCAN where is the woman to woman blog?? been lookin for that since your post. and even though hijacking isnt p.c…. wheneva you did back in the day, we always had enlightening discussions. some of the best days was just lurking and “listening in” on what you blog bruthas had to say.

and i aint mad at jason for stating the obvious. honestly, i was thinking that anyone who ignores what their gut tells them reeks of desperation …. wanting what you want just cause you want it. thats an immature approach that probably isnt confined to dating. never mind finding someone good enough to date… you need to take yourself on some dates and get good enough.

IslandGirl some days… with that line up every day would be…. cause they would be trynna out do each other. :)

By kimmie

July 7, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this

Cee - Excuse me if I’m late, and I must have missed if it came out on the blog, but did you lose your mother? If so, I am so very sorry for you & your family. You’ll definitely be in my prayers - nothing like Mama.

We’ll be going for the yellow belt in a few weeks! It’s going great! I need to be doing the green tea & ginseng, instead of the OD on coffee I do everyday!

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

July 7, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

A tired good mornging to you all…I am running on fumes after my flight back to ATL got in at fter 1:30am when it was suppoed to get here at 10:15 last night! UGH!!!

Welcome Blanca!!! I have had some dates end with me wanting to call the looney bin to pick the loco up and put him in a padded room. Let’s see…I had Bipolar Bill, Manic Depressive Mike, Crazy Cal, Loco Louis, Nutso Nathan & Psycho Phil. I think I have a magnent for anything crazy…hence my stalkers. I think we tend to ignore the red flags because we are blinded by the physical and then next thing we are so into the perosn we start to make excuses for the irratic behavior and tolerate things that would normally get somebody kicked to the curb or cut!

GA Man How dare you mispell my name! LOL

Blow I think we are related…I love Guns & Roses, Welcome to the Jungle!

2C I believ prostitutuion should be legal. I mean why not get paid for the booty? LOL The H0es got it right….don’t be a free h0…be a paid h0! LMAO Force prostitution is a different story. Not to mention, the jails should be reserved for real criminals (Rapists, drug dealers and murderers).

By 2CPTG©

July 7, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

“IslandGirl some days… with that line up every day would be…. cause they would be trynna out do each other. :)”

With that line-up, we’d be the Celtics of the blog….don’t matta who comes with the funk, as long as we win!

By SexyLeggs

July 7, 2008 11:19 AM | Link to this

Too funny, home page of msn.com has “divorced women dreading the ups and down of dating.”

M, no he didn’t change his mind. He simply doesn’t care what time he calls you back or arrives after agreeing to a specified time. To be totally honest, I just put the carrot out there to see if he would bite. In my heart of hearts I knew the date wouldn’t occur, but wanted to see if he would make a concerted effort to show me he is trying to get with me and keep his word. Wanted to see if he would stop talking about the side of his mouth. I had no doubt he would call hours later to see if I was still up. Was hoping it didn’t go that route, but I knew it would. I was p** at myself because I was right.

That’s rich M, her car wouldn’t stop. Did you give her the number to a towing company (LOL).

By Foots

July 7, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this

Raqi I must agree with your 10:07. I can definitely say that I have manufactured some flags of the red variety in my day. Especially when I was just starting out in my relationship career. I did have to ask myself if I was cutting them out because I truly felt that this wasn’t the right person for me or because I wanted them to be perfect (or even more like me).

The older I get, the more sure I am that I’m cutting folks for the right reasons and I can better identify things that I can’t live with, versus things that just make that dude unique. I’m more tolerant of differences in people, at the same time, keeping my low tolerance for BS.

By Cemeeli

July 7, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this

Lol @ 2C hey dude, how was your holiday w/e? …speaking of blanco (which is white.). If i remember from the translation, my spanish name is Delores.

Hey, you are one of the nominees along w/ some other cats i see. Why isn’t a vote for Jason?

By 2CPTG©

July 7, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this

“Not to mention, the jails should be reserved for real criminals (Rapists, drug dealers and murderers).”

A drug dealer is a “real” criminal??? Or, is he following the basic principle of business….supply and demand? I’m not advocating it, I’m just sayin…..

By BINFORD2K

July 7, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

Staceye*

George Carlin opened many of his shows with this about prostitution: Why is it illegal to sell something that you can give away for free?

Always better to deal with the Devil you know!

By IslandGirl

July 7, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

Staceye a woman after my own heart. lol!!! Why not get paid.

2CPTG© goooo Celtics..lol! I hated the Celtics when they were beating the white meat out of the Hawks, but I was so happy when they whooped the Lakers. Thanks for the flashback….

By M.

July 7, 2008 11:24 AM | Link to this

@SexyLeggs

WOW. Though he likes you, I dont think he thinks you are a priority if he keeps doing this. Its a sign of no respect. Do you think you may look to available to him and thats why he just picks over your time and takes what works for him?

No I didnt even respond ;)

By mytwocents

July 7, 2008 11:25 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli That’s good that you got em out n about. Fresh air helps ya not to be a dweller on things which we cannot control. And I was quite well behaved, thank you.

The Prosti topic is under the Opinions section.

By SlimOne

July 7, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this

Foots Yeah it would interesting to get in different blog brothers to pose a noon change of topic on days when we are burnt out on the subject. But it doesn’t appear to be any takers….Hmmmm?

By Texmex

July 7, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this

A new w*******…..Welcome.

By 2CPTG©

July 7, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this

Cee, ‘sup lil mama….to be honest, my w/e was lame as hell!

By 2CPTG©

July 7, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this

Slim, it’s not tha there aren’t any takkers, but any time you attept a rebellion, you have to get organized….I’m sure none of the brothers have a problem with y’all suggestions, try to somehwat formalize it, and we can make it happen….Then, maybe the AJC will take heed to their constituents…..

By DasV

July 7, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this

CEEmee i mustve missed some things too… sorry for that. my heart and thoughts are with you and yours.

I dont think truth is half as jaded as Darrell…. why come we cant get him to bring us fresh and interesting topics. i think yall done kilt that mans spirit cause he aint been back in a minute

By Blow Me......PLEASE blow me!!

July 7, 2008 11:35 AM | Link to this

Staceye Hey girl how was your trip back home? I know you had a blast…..RECAP please…lol..

Girl don’t tell me you know PYSCHO Phil too…lol. Lawd ham mercy.

By SexyLeggs

July 7, 2008 11:36 AM | Link to this

M, of course I’m not a priority. He can like me all he wants, but if I don’t have your respect of my time, then liking me is nil and void. I simply thought I’ll ask him out this weekend in an attempt to let him know he doesn’t always have to ask. He’s simply one of those individuals who doesn’t care about time. I can’t adjust my respect for time to co-exist with him.

By AmazonRed

July 7, 2008 11:36 AM | Link to this

Nicole Kidman gives birth and names her daughter “Sunday.”

Soon to be performing on the main stage.

sigh

By Cemeeli

July 7, 2008 11:37 AM | Link to this

Excuse me if I’m late, and I must have missed if it came out on the blog, but did you lose your mother? If so, I am so very sorry for you & your family. You’ll definitely be in my prayers - nothing like Mama.

kimmie no sweetie I have not lost my moms. She’s fine!

We lost my girl friend’s mother a week ago. Growing up she was like a chaperoning mother to me. She was a big part of the middle then high school years and was around during our high school events alot, she did more than enough sharing driving/taxing us to and from our football games, HS events, and when we were late for school she’d “cover us”, lol….A real sweetheart missed.

By SexyLeggs

July 7, 2008 11:39 AM | Link to this

M, on the contrary. I’m not available to him yet he keeps picking me to see if I’ll crack at the way he likes to operate. I haven’t and I won’t. I just thought I mix things up a little and go down a different avenue. The dead end was still there.

By M.

July 7, 2008 11:43 AM | Link to this

@SexyLeggs

So whats next? Will you guys continue to play cat and mouse or will you just cut your losses?

By Cemeeli

July 7, 2008 11:43 AM | Link to this

…to be honest, my w/e was lame as hell!

…miss me…please. I’m sure you have something that was eventful.

Gleaning woman so have you taken up your ‘hap’ and allowed yourself to be the head of the madiens? you read a lil different j/s. Sometimes that means there’s a pheromone somewhere nearby.

moms is well, see my lst post to kimmie

By kimmie

July 7, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

Cee - Okay, thanks for setting me straight. I knew I had not seen you blogging for awhile so it seemed logical.

Sounds like your friend’s mother was another one of those “mamas” we have that come into our lives, just like a real blood mother. I have a few of those. I know you’ll miss her.

By Foots

July 7, 2008 11:46 AM | Link to this

Slim But it doesn’t appear to be any takers….Hmmmm?

You’d think that we’d have male volunteers who would like to be about it rather than talk about it, since the complaint is often about these being “chick topics”. Oh well…sign of the times…

2C I was talking to my dude about the song “New Jack Hustler” by IceT the other day. A whole book on a drug dealer’s psyche can be written based on the contents of that song, because it taps into the mindset of someone who makes the capitalist decision to sell something that is obviously in demand. Not getting into the right and wrong of it all, but that song is absolutely fascinating if you really listen to what it’s saying with an open mind.

By Blue Kolla

July 7, 2008 11:49 AM | Link to this

Mornin’ yoll…

It’s wind-down Monday for me. sigh

2 With that line-up, we’d be the Celtics of the blog….don’t matta who comes with the funk, as long as we win!

Tell’em agin.

(On Topic) And I don’t even know what to say about this Red Flag thing. Some dude layin’ on the floor whining, crying’ and all’at? I can’t even compute this scene.

Let me guess… this was that debonair, crisp cat that was being way too generous at the bar? Or was it that dude showering you with compliments at that trendy spot up town? Tell your boy that you’ve some real important tasks to catch up on around the house… like drying the rain off of your driveway.

By Cemeeli

July 7, 2008 11:54 AM | Link to this

And I was quite well behaved, thank you.

mytwocents yea, i’m sure you were sunshine. So what events kept you behaved?

hhmmmm…i gotta get you to the Tank

By Tazzee

July 7, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this

Morning folks!

Kym thanks for the recommendation - my friend and I were at American Roadhouse watching the Williams sisters Saturday morning. And the food was pretty good too.

On-topic - I’ve had my regrettable moments in the area of dating, but it’s been a while since I’ve ignored any red flags, real or perceived. In Blanca’s example, I would have cancelled that fourth date. That crying on the floor is some crazy stuff right there.

By 2CPTG©

July 7, 2008 11:58 AM | Link to this

Foots….I hear ya…it just kills me to hear folks speak on something they obviously know nothing about….I mean look at the former Moonshine runners…..they have their own sport now, and it’s called NASCAR! (yeah, do your research on the origins of Nascar!)

By Sabra

July 7, 2008 12:03 PM | Link to this

My friend has been married for 11 years now. She is deeply in love with her husband i mean we always thought they were the perfect couple. sure they had up’s and down’s but every relationship does. But about eight years ago her husband had an afair on her. he told her about it, she forgave him and they moved on. Now years later and two miscarriages she gets a letter in the mail. The woman whom her husband had a affair with was suing for child support. Her husband didn’t know that he had got the woman pregnant until the papers came for him to take the paternity test. The little boy turned out to be his. so now he had a 8 year old son that spends every weekend, holiday, and summer at their home. My friend said everytime she looks at the little boy her heart breaks all over again. they have tried counselling, she even moved out of their home so she would not have to see the little boy. her husband is hurting because he want his marriage to work, and she does to but she don’t want the little boy to be apart of their family. She said that before she ask her husband to choose she would just leave him all together.

I know they love and want to be with each other, and she forgave him but now that the little boy is here she don’t want any part of it… Since i’m not married i decided not to give her advice, but i know this form has a lot of married people on here so i’m asking them what would you do in this situation. She said that they can be happy if the little boy wasn’t around but she refuse to tell him that is why she won’t move back in. Even last Christmas she choose not to call him, or let him come around because she was afraid that the little boy would be around, she was scared to call him because she didn’t want to hear the little boy’s voice in the background. It hurts me seeing my friend like this… what words can i say to her to help her through this time?

By DasV

July 7, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this

fellowGleaner translate, please. i had a long and eventful weekend… im slow this morning….

By abc

July 7, 2008 12:07 PM | Link to this

Crazy is as crazy does. Sometimes it takes time for them to act out and demonstrate their craziness. Like everything, you won’t know about it until you find out about it.

By SexyLeggs

July 7, 2008 12:11 PM | Link to this

Sabra, I can go into many dynamics of this case, but there’s only one thing that’s important to me. If she really loves her husband and wants to work at her marriage, she’ll accept his child. I realize mentally/emotinally it will be hard to get over the fact that she had 2 miscarriages and yearns for a child of their own. The little boy should not feel “not wanted” because he’s here. It’s a hard pill to swallow, yet a pill she needs to swallow if she wants to remain married. She needs to stay in counseling until she can accept this child. If not, then she needs to divorce because she will only make the entire household unhabitable. Hate, regret, scorn will fester in the walls of that marriage and will only lead to doom! She forgave the affair, now she needs to find a way to forgive the seed that sprouted as a result of this affair. She needs to accept the entire package. I know this is easier said than done.

By WOW

July 7, 2008 12:11 PM | Link to this

Sabra Your friend’s husband needs to give her the divorce. If he really loved her, he wouldn’t try to force her to deal with his mistakes when they are so very hurtful to her. But, men don’t think that way. Even tho’ he probably wouldn’t deal with the situation if it were reversed, he thinks nothing of trying to force her to deal with it.

btw, he doesn’t have to accept service of divorce papers. She can publish those bad boys in the newspaper & proceed!

By 2CPTG©

July 7, 2008 12:11 PM | Link to this

damn! unfortunately, Sabra, yo friend gon’ have to either get over the fact, cause the child is here now, or move on….when she said she forgave him, it was obviously only to a certain extent….and to her, the child is a constant reminder; You cain’t tell nobody to leave their spouse, but you can tell her, she’s gotta come to grips with her feelings!

By The Truth

July 7, 2008 12:12 PM | Link to this

Staceye * I believ prostitutuion should be legal. I mean why not get paid for the booty?* Hypothetically, how much would it cost me for some generic (bj, doggie, azz slapping) azz from you? Then, how much if I wanted to tie you up and do some kinky shyt? I already have the cuffs. Just wondering.

Folks, i’m not jaded about relationships. I think they’re great if the dude is running them and the chick follows happily. Marriage on the other hand is just a crappy deal. If I said lets start a business where the wash out rate is 50-70% and most likely one of the partners is gonna cheat and eventually you’ll both get tired of that business, would you do it? Not to mention that the main purpose of the union will become a financial drain both during and after the breakup. Just wondering who’d want to go in business under those terms?

By DasV

July 7, 2008 12:13 PM | Link to this

Sabra if she cannot stand to look at the little boy or hear his voice, then she really has NOT forgiven him. she is projecting her anger at him on a defenseless, innocent child. for the time that she stayed with him before the child was introduced she was just pretending it didnt happen and there was nothing to block that ‘cleaned up’ version of the reality. this child blows that pretense to … (well, you know).

she needs to admit that infidelity is a deal-breaker for her and move on. period.

By Sidelines

July 7, 2008 12:15 PM | Link to this

Sabra…WOW, that is a tough one right there. It’s a catch 22, because she wants to be with her husband, but seeing the little boy reminds her of losing the children she could not have and not to mention that she did not give him (and of the affair itself). And, you I’d find it hard to advise her that in order to truly forgive him, would be to accept the little boy, afterall he did not ask to come here. And, this pregnancy took place DURING the marriage, not during a breakup or something. That’s a tough one…I’d be interested in seeing what the other ladies have to say.

By SlimOne

July 7, 2008 12:17 PM | Link to this

2C it’s not tha there aren’t any takkers, but any time you attept a rebellion, you have to get organized Um…I thought that’s what we were trying to do….We can’t go any further with it unless some of yall menfolk at least say “Hey, I’d be interested in taking the reigns one day..blah blah blah”…feel me? I figured somebody would have spoken up by now being that you all tend to complain any other day…even you yourself said this morning that the RED FLAGS deal was redundant. So ONCE we have a few mens (yeah i said menS) that are willing to try it, this idea is going to self-destruct in 30, 29, 28, 27, 26……seconds. lol

By Blue Kolla

July 7, 2008 12:19 PM | Link to this

Leggs I can go into many dynamics of this case,…

…now sending you in the mail the same doctorate paperwork that No-Dr. Phil sent off.

You sound just as qualified to give advice as that clown, so you might as well get paid too.

By Sabra

July 7, 2008 12:19 PM | Link to this

@SexyLeggs Her husband is confused because on his birthday she mailed his gift to him instead of coming to see him. When we asked her why she said she’s scared to see the little boy. She never disrespected the little boy. When everything first happened she took the little boy shopping, introduced him to her nephews and neices as her stepson, she never disrespected him or his mother. I think the situation is to much for her right now.

By Cemeeli

July 7, 2008 12:20 PM | Link to this

lol my gurl Das. Okay cool.

…so have you taken up your ‘hap’ and allowed yourself to be the head of the madiens? Last i read you, you went back in the field. I thought now maybe you took to surrendering your “hap” (a covering for women in the field)…and if you ARE uncovered you are someone’s Ruth.

…you read a lil different j/s (just saying). Sometimes that means there’s a pheromone somewhere nearby. Pheromones scent( engaging you off this here blog.

…Cee didn’t want 2 put u on blst.

Pheromone

By SlimOne

July 7, 2008 12:22 PM | Link to this

2C it’s not tha there aren’t any takkers, but any time you attept a rebellion, you have to get organized Um…I thought that’s what we were trying to do….We can’t go any further with it unless some of yall menfolk at least say “Hey, I’d be interested in taking the reigns one day..blah blah blah”…feel me? I figured somebody would have spoken up by now being that you all tend to complain any other day…even you yourself said this morning that the RED FLAGS deal was redundant. So ONCE we have a few mens (yeah i said menS) that are willing to try it, this idea is going to self-destruct in 30, 29, 28, 27, 26……seconds. lol

By IslandGirl

July 7, 2008 12:24 PM | Link to this

Sabra I have to agree with what most folks have already said. If she forgave him for cheating, then she will find it in her heart to forgive him for conceiving a child outside the marriage. That is a very hard thing to deal with (especially considering her ordeals with miscarriages). No one can tell her how to feel about this, but if she loves her husband then she will accept what is his.

This one is right off of the TV screen on LifeTime…dayum.

By Utopia

July 7, 2008 12:25 PM | Link