Misadventures in Atlanta

By Raqi

July 10, 2008 8:33 AM | Link to this

“…a little anal-retentive…he is a very educated, successful and otherwise great guy.”

Jerkassness treads heavily over any and every thing else.

By AmazonRed

July 10, 2008 8:42 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone. Good morning Blanca. The blog is ready and waiting for us when I come in. So thanks!

Always the smart azz, I guess most people would have expected me to have some choice words for this fella. However, I need more information. Since you stayed on the date, did it get worse?

That statement alone wouldn’t have caused me to leave. He may not have known just how it came across (as a person that has this same problem, I can relate, lol). I would have pressed him to explain why he talked to the waitress like that.

Wealth is no excuse for bad behavior. The true test of a person’s character is how they treat people from different walks of life.

By ATL Guy

July 10, 2008 8:46 AM | Link to this

Blanca so it wasn’t just one comment that made him a A-Hole I mean his whole attitude was terrible??

If I was out with a girl that was just arrogant or ridiculous…I would shoot off a hidden text message and have a phone call from a friend with an important urgency where I had to be somewhere else. That way at least I’m not hurting her feelings so much or causing a scene and I’m out of the situation.

Then again, I’m direct and I might just challenge her on her views for humor. Who Knows. But yeah…people like that are the worst to go out with.

Being considerate or showing respect goes a long way

By DasV

July 10, 2008 8:46 AM | Link to this

i wouldve done exactly what i did when i read your story: laughed out loud - loudly… and asked if he was serious and,if he was, let the waiter know he could interrupt me all day long cause im hungry and this here restaurant has some good food letting all concerned know that was the real reason for agreeing to a blind date with the moron sitting across from me and since it wasnt working out could the waiter find another table for him … better yet one for me, cause i dont want the waiter to have to worry about interrupting him to let’em know his table is ready. blanca have you dated black or ethnic yet?? cause a blk man is liable to deal with the waiter/waitress in so familiar a way that from observation you’d think they was on the date too……… they know how to be friendly. their problem is on the other end of the spectrum smh and grinning

By AmazonRed

July 10, 2008 8:52 AM | Link to this

cause a blk man is liable to deal with the waiter/waitress in so familiar a way that from observation you’d think they was on the date too…

Wow…kinda a broad generalization don’t you think, DasV? Could it be the type of men you date?

By QC

July 10, 2008 8:57 AM | Link to this

Morning…have a great day everyone!

By DasV

July 10, 2008 9:03 AM | Link to this

Ared hmm, maybe. for a brutha im on the date with to engage in a conversation on whats good, whats new, etc is helpful when it comes to food selection and its usually done minus the pretentiousness and uptightness that comes with anal-retentive tendencies.

i have never been on a date with a man that has been rude, downright mean and unkind to a server. but i have been on dates (more specifically one that i can remember) where i was left wondering if the server and date knew each other in another lifetime.

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

July 10, 2008 9:04 AM | Link to this

Morning All!

Okay I laughed so hard, like DasV when I read that! Dude was ridiculous!! Dont interrupt us while we are speaking?!?! Wow. I dont think I could have stomached an entire evening with him.

Anyhoo, you guys have a great day. Will pop in later!

By Teresa

July 10, 2008 9:04 AM | Link to this

I would have advised him that he could have handled that situation better and I HOPE, that he does not treat similar situations the same.

You can really read a lot more into just the words he said. Like maybe he is quick tempered, like maybe he is a control freak, I would stay on my guard and go on the 2nd date if there’s no further issues…

By AmazonRed

July 10, 2008 9:09 AM | Link to this

but i have been on dates (more specifically one that i can remember) where i was left wondering if the server and date knew each other in another lifetime.

DasV, right. Those are your dates right? So why does that have to be a characteristic for ALL black men. Have I met flirty black brothers? Of course! But not enough where I felt that they “knew each other in another lifetime.” That is crossing a whole nother line.

Not looking for a blog fight, just curious as to how you reached that generalization. Understood now. :-)

By DasV

July 10, 2008 9:15 AM | Link to this

what part of is liable to didnt you understand?? now im just curious. and im always game for a blog fight :)

Teresa i understand what you are saying… and i admire the ‘benefit of the doubt’ position you have… but seriously… its a akin to “will you shut up?” not even “will you please shut up… i’uno. that just cannot be condoned on any level… my benefit of the doubt was finding out if it was a bad joke.

By M'Karyl

July 10, 2008 9:20 AM | Link to this

As a former server, I would have gladly complied with his request-after all, he is leaving the tip…I guess I learned as a top-notch service provider of libation and cuisine not to take those kinds of attitudes too personal…just give great service and get the 20% or better tip, and be thankful that I am not the one going home with the jerk…lol. But as a person out on a date with the jerk, I would have told him that he was a bit too rude for my taste and if he did not respond well to that…then it would have been exit stage left…which I have done befoe…just leave.

By AmazonRed

July 10, 2008 9:23 AM | Link to this

what part of is liable to didnt you understand?? now im just curious. and im always game for a blog fight :)

Well, I’m not game, but do you.

I understand that “liable” is more likely than not. And as someone who dates black men, I didn’t agree with your generalization so I asked. My dates tend to focus on me rather than the server and for damn sure wouldn’t disrespect me by overtly flirting with them!

So I hope that answers your question. I didn’t find that a particular characteristic liable for black men which is why I responded with the question.

By The Melo

July 10, 2008 9:24 AM | Link to this

now im just curious. and im always game for a blog fight :) ive never known u to back down….. Good morning pple………. ared are u ON mars this week….or maybe on ur way…..

By ATL Guy

July 10, 2008 9:24 AM | Link to this

Need you Opinions kind of on topic sort of….

I have a friend who came in town for 4th of July. Known him for about 9 Years! He’s cool to hangout with in doses. I mean when he comes out with my boyz in a group, there’s always problems. He get like Pretentious or acts like he’s better than people. I get embarrassed by it. It will p** my friends or other people off. I can’t figure out why he can’t just be chill, you know. When we’re just hanging out…no problems or issues…if I had to spend a week with him, I’ll probably kill him.

So sometimes I think should I be friend’s with this person!? I mean he can be a complete A-Hole sometimes and it bothers me he does it to other people. But, he’s always been down for me. So I don’t know.

By Kym aka Lady Sage

July 10, 2008 9:25 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

Blanca, you did well to stay…one I can not stand bad customer service..but what is even worse is when someone treats a server like crap. I always say hello call my server by name not just because they deserve respect doing a already thankless job but because frankly I don’t want them to fix me a “special plate of food” (spit on it..drop it on the floor..or screw up my order on purpose) I worked customer service most of my teen years and I guess you could say I am a public servant even now and I hold people in customer with high regards because the job can be misery especially dealing with jackazzes like dude. Personally I would have told him don’t you think that was a bit harsh and if didn’t form some sort of reasonable explanation for his behavior.. and a apology to that server. I would have called the date done. (This is why I always meet at said location or make sure I have cab or car fare(channeling my grandma again) home.

By DasV

July 10, 2008 9:28 AM | Link to this

I didn’t find that a particular characteristic liable for black men which is why I responded with the question. congrats on you doing you… youre a great pom-pom girl.

By AmazonRed

July 10, 2008 9:28 AM | Link to this

ared are u ON mars this week….or maybe on ur way…

melo - I feel I’ve been pretty quiet this week. LOL @ Mars. I guess that’s a comment about men? LOL

ATL Guy - You have stories for days. LOL

By Foots (aka Pootbox)

July 10, 2008 9:32 AM | Link to this

Good morning! I’m with ATLGuy, how did the rest of the date go? If it were me, because I can get obsessive about certain things, I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy the date after he said that. It would keep playing in my mind. Doesn’t matter what happened after that, he could have jumped on the table and entertained the whole dayum restaurant with a puppet show using the napkins, and I would have still been on the “Oh, I know he didn’t!!”

DasV I understand what you’re saying. I had an ex who made the server feel so comfortable at IHOP that the dude sat down with us and told my dude his whole life story, including what he was trying to do outside of working there, his dreams, everything. It was like a staged intervention up in that camp. I was like “Ain’t this some bull!!! Look, I know you’re about to have a breakthrough and all, but can you go get my omelet please? Oh…and some extra jelly??”

My boyfriend now is like that with everybody, but he’s just silly with it. Cracking jokes and stuff. We went to the movies and the poor clerk asked if we wanted to donate a dollar to some kids charity and dude yelled out “I HATE KIDS!! No, I’m just kidding…LOL” I could have bit his bottom lip off, I was so embarrassed. So yeah, he’s kinda friendly too.

By M'Karyl

July 10, 2008 9:32 AM | Link to this

@DasV As a server, I have been on the end of the too flirty patron with the date, wife, etc. and it can be a bit awkward to deal with from that side as well. I remember one guy in particular who spent so much time making small talk with me each time I came to the table…his date was obviously uncomfortable with this, so I did a little less table maintenance to give it some space…I think that he knew me better by the end of the night than he did her.

By M'Karyl

July 10, 2008 9:38 AM | Link to this

@ATL Guy

I used to be very acommodating about the idiosyncracies of others behaviors, especially in cases like yours when I had a cool rap and dealings with a person but I could see a change of personality in the presence of others…but my tuned changed becuasse i grew tired of pegin understanding of something that otherwise p’ed me off to no end…I suggest that you either hang out with ole’ boy without your other friends involved or just drop the jerk all together…btw, have you ever ask him why he does this????

By ATL Guy

July 10, 2008 9:38 AM | Link to this

Amazon Its funny because my life is always just full of ridiculous situations. Compare my life to the Corona commercial “Miles away from the Ordinary” Haha.

Blanca we need to know how this date played out! If I stayed with a girl acting stupid like that…I’d at least try to make the best of the situation or challenge her on every naive point of view just to get a rise out of the situation. When I’m on a date though, I’m out to have a good time, it would take ALOT to really ruin my night.

By Foots (aka Pootbox)

July 10, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this

ATLGuy Sometimes you have to learn how to separate friends. You are past the age where you have to hang out in groups and everybody in the group are friends. I have different groups of friends, and I like them for different reasons. I have always had great friends, but because people are different, those friends may not become friends of my friends. So I hang with them separately.

For instance, I brought one of my cousins around my group of friends. From the second she opened her mouth, she rubbed them the wrong way and they told me how they felt later. From then on, I never hung out with them at the same time. No big deal. I’d spend time with my cousin-friend and I’d spend time with my friends-friends separately. Why create problems needlessly?

By The Melo

July 10, 2008 9:42 AM | Link to this

ATL Guy on ur QS, can i plz ask u a personal question be4 i attempt an answer?

By DasV

July 10, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this

the more i think about it, if there hadof been a please somewhere in there…. could you PLEASE not interrupt us - - PLEASE do not interrupt us - - could you not interrupt us PLEASE - - i wouldve reacted differently.

whats up melo?? see you have the job down to a science and able to blog frequently…. good for you! what color is the truck?

ATL Guy was it you that accused theTruth of having an elitist perspective?? had me pondering that for a minute bec i was out with a couple of ppl on saturday past and i couldnt put my finger on what irked me about them… i think that suffer from that (not that i think theTruth does) you know you have to put disclaimers and shyt on this blog LOL the condescending treatment, the total dismissal of anyone’s opinion is so repulsive, aint it??

Foots ROTFLOL!! you have my mascara running from tears laughin at you! thank you for sharing. seriously. gurl, those are some fun guys to be with… but not if they serious, and just acting stank.

M you are a good woman… most wouldnt’ve noticed and if they did, cared….. kudos to you!!

By Cemeeli

July 10, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this

Morning! and Happy Birthday to Kym!

I have a special SADE clip for you sis later today.

By SexyCool

July 10, 2008 9:51 AM | Link to this

i have to say that i have encountered servers who did not possess enough tact to wait until i had acknowledged their presence before they jumped into the middle of my conversation or interrupted me or those in my party mid-sentence….

now…am i wrong for EXPECTING a waitperson to be polite? am i wrong for ignoring a waitperson while i commplete my statement? or…should i stop mid sentence to allow a person who i am paying to wait on me to speak? who is the rude person in this scenario?

even with all that…i would not have instructed an individual to not interrrupt me when i am speaking…methinks that would have guaranteed poor service or questionable meal content…

By abc

July 10, 2008 9:51 AM | Link to this

Cloddish servers who walk up and just start talking, interrupting the customers conversations, are the rude ones. Perhaps the gentleman you were blind dating compounded the infraction by being rude in his request to not be so interrupted, and that’s too bad, but it doesn’t negate the common lack of courtesy that servers around here typically display. No ‘Excuse me’, no ‘if I may interrupt’, no nothing — they just waltz up and start to talk.

It’s a symptom of young and untrained wait staff. It goes along with the local custom of a teenage or 20-something girl at the door referring to us as ‘you guys’ and usually addressing the woman only. In such cases, I direct their attention to me, albeit with politeness — they may have no manners, but I presume it’s due to lack of knowledge and education of the same, and so I demonstrate proper manners for them. Same thing with the interrupting waiter or waitress — I say something to the effect of ‘I beg your pardon, just one second’ and ask my dining partner to hold that thought, so that we can continue after taking care of the business of ordering, etc.

If the server responds positively, their tip increases beyond the usual 20%. If not, they still get the 20%, I see no reason to penalize them for simple bad manners.

By ATL Guy

July 10, 2008 9:52 AM | Link to this

MKary & Foots Yeah, well he lives in L.A. so its not really an issue with him…we catch up from time to time….things are cool. But, you’re right. I actually keep him seperate from my friends that I go out with on the weekend Nightlife. Drama is something I don’t handle well. But, can’t figure out why he flips like a switch into this (I’m better than you) attitude. It sucks to be around and I really distance myself from that crap. Only see him for a day or two when he’s in Atlanta visiting every few months so I’m not too worried about it

MELO Whats up Man…you have a question for me? Go for it Bro

By The Melo

July 10, 2008 9:56 AM | Link to this

Hw u doing Das…im gonna hit u up later and talk to u for a minute..hw is the job?

By The Melo

July 10, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

Ive been reading u lately and the vibe i get is that u female…am i wrong? Or are u male but gay..if not no sweat,i just wanted to reply/not reply to ur qs and tailor reply to ur sex.If u dnt wanna say,no big deal…. Happy birth Day Kym..wish u many many more!!

By SexyCool

July 10, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this

abc….>>>>>here<<<<<

By M'Karyl

July 10, 2008 10:03 AM | Link to this

@Foots

You are past the age where you have to hang out in groups and everybody in the group are friends. I have different groups of friends, and I like them for different reasons. I have always had great friends, but because people are different, those friends may not become friends of my friends. So I hang with them separately.

True, I have learned that not all ppl with whom I have a good vibe have that same vibe with other ppl that I know…so, I too have learned to separate my associations based upon personality traits that did not meld…and I have had friends with whom some of their acquaintances did not make my baby kick and I preferred to not hang out when they formed part of the group…everybody ain’t for everybody…ya’ know

@DasV

Thanks!! My ability to read ppl served me well when I waited tables…made planty of good $$$$ in the ATL…

By Kym aka Lady Sage

July 10, 2008 10:05 AM | Link to this

Okay why is it after I read abc’s post I pictured Thurston Howell III in a double breasted, navy blue, jacket on his way to the yacht club social..”Lovey..are you ready yet dear. You know we are meeting the Godrocks for cocktails at 8.”

Just kidding around abc.

Thanks for the birthday wishes Cee

By Foots (aka Pootbox)

July 10, 2008 10:06 AM | Link to this

ATLGuy But, can’t figure out why he flips like a switch into this (I’m better than you) attitude.

Some people who do that probably feel intimidated by the people they are around. Sometimes, they just want attention. Either that, or he’s short. So for the record, how tall is he? LOL

But unless you’re Dr. Phil or can charge $150 an hour for counseling services, don’t waste time trying to figure him out. He’s that way, he’s not changing, so you have to accept it and find the workaround, which it looks like you’ve found. He’s not in town much anyway, so no problem.

By AmazonRed

July 10, 2008 10:06 AM | Link to this

Happy Birthday Kym!

By The Truth

July 10, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this

Good morning blogsville.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KYM.

Interesting story. Had I been with a chick that did that I’d of made her apologize before we did anything else. I can understand the request but the delivery was lacking. Some folks wouldn’t take kindly to being talked to like that and wouldn’t hesitate to spit, or worse, in your food. If she wouldn’t apologize then I’d take her back home. My .02

A better way to handle that would of been to say “I’m going to be talking with this interesting and gorgeous woman this evening and would appreciate if we could do so uninterrupted, thank you”.

By M'Karyl

July 10, 2008 10:09 AM | Link to this

@ATL Guy

One word…insecurity.. behaviors that convey superior status above others is just a guise for lacking self-esteem…feeling an identity valuation threat…do you really want that kind of friend…

By ATL Guy

July 10, 2008 10:10 AM | Link to this

ABC you have that down to a Science huh!? If I’m on a date with someone … I’m not going to sweat the small stuff with a waiter approaching when we’re talking or whatever. As long as the waiter isn’t being a prick, thats pretty minor. If you start complaining about the waiter then gets the attention off the date, and I would think becomes all negative. I’m expecting service for sure, but priority would be on who I’m out with. If she’s happy, no worries.

MELO trying to start a blog fight or something man!? So because I’m dating girls from my previous posts means I’m gay? Explain this one…You aren’t that sharp huh? I’ve got respect for you, but that was wayyyyy off! Haha

By Foots (aka Pootbox)

July 10, 2008 10:13 AM | Link to this

Kym Okay why is it after I read abc’s post I pictured Thurston Howell III in a double breasted, navy blue, jacket…

I felt like that too. It was the use of the word “cloddish”. Imma have to add that to my vocabulary.

HAPPY BIRFDAY!!!

By The Melo

July 10, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

would not have instructed an individual to not interrrupt me when i am speaking…methinks that would have guaranteed poor service or questionable meal content im with abc altho i knw its not everybody who is courageous enough to say it in the servers face…but depending on the server’s age,that wld be appropriate.If u dnt say it,they continue to be wrong and rude,so smebody elder has to mentor them.It takes a village and in these times of commercialization and what not,we owe it to our youngsters to teach them, as long as we do it in a courteous and respectful way….

By 2CPTG

July 10, 2008 10:19 AM | Link to this

sup y’all…..Happy Birthday, Kym…enjoy!

Cee, you feeling better today? ‘sides the toe, that is…..

By Raqi

July 10, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this

Happy Birthday Kym

Okay whatchall talking about?

By The Melo

July 10, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

MELO trying to start a blog fight or something man!? Trust me,im not,and i have respect for everybody incl you too…okay lets try this..are u white or black? i have a picture of everybody i talk on the blog..its fam to me(mental) and i only started talking to u recently and smething to me aint shaping the way i read…what ethnicity are u?…not that its that important for u to tell me if u dnt feel it…..

By Kym aka Lady Sage

July 10, 2008 10:22 AM | Link to this

Thanks for the birthday wishes Melo..Amazon..Truth.. gas cards please LOL

By aggressively witty

July 10, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this

ATl guy, to be fair some of your post do come off as less than fully masculine. The crying about the out of town broad, this crying about some dude who acts funny around your boys. Not really manly, in the societal norm sense. With that said you clearly seem to be a dude who likes poon, so I understand your frustration.

Now on topic, if the waiter had sat back and waited for a break in the convo I am sure that dude would have had something to say about that. I am an a***** myself so i know about people cut from the same jib. Now I would never tell a waiter not to interrupt me and wife mid speech.

Blanca if dude wasnt an a***** to you then yes you are wrong for making the assumption that he treats others like he treats the waitstaff. Not for nothing but many people have a no fraternizing with the ‘help’ policy.

By Sidelines

July 10, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this

Kym, Happy Birthday! Here’s to many, many more, ms. lady…

By AmazonRed

July 10, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this

I guess I’m the only one who’s gonna mention melo’s questionable infraction a few weeks ago. I just find it ironic how he’s trying to call out someone else for being suspect. I figured you’d understand how it’s easy for posts to be “misread” melo. tsk!

By Catz

July 10, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this

I was set up with this guy, who was a big developer. Well, he was a braggart to start with ,………talking about court side seats, blah, blah, blah.

THEN, he started talking about his trophy hunting. What? H3ll, I didn’t know folks REALLY did that. And, how he went on these hunting expeditions all over the world, that cost upwards of 75,000 etc.

And, if that wasn’t BAD ENOUGH, then he had to go on about the natives cleaning and processing the game (meat). I must have given him ‘the look’ at that point. So, he says, ‘It’s not like its slavery. I pay them $5.00 for a day’s work.’ WTF?????

That was the last of him.

By Cemeeli

July 10, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this

@ ARed - blog sidebar…i’m reading what you are reading and Cee is still looking sideways.

On topic: I’m not sure if the waiter took offense or if Blanca’s date was having a serious dialogue with her and he was not expecting the interruption so his natural instinct caused him …ah, let me go read it again.

By abc

July 10, 2008 10:34 AM | Link to this

Most important is the presence of civility and politeness, ATL Guy, I’m not talking talking about sitting there being insistent that the server comply with my wishes, pouting at their non-compliance. One should exhibit a personal grace that includes care for the well-being of even those who are ill-mannered and rude. A gentleman is one who, first and foremost, makes everyone around him feel comfortable — it’s not difficult to be a gentleman, one has only to wish to be that way, and have some good examples and role models to follow.

Of course, I’m not necessarily talking about being in a Chili’s, Friday’s, Longhorn or some place like that. If those joints are reasonably clean and every dish you get is edible, chalk it up to good luck, and take pity on the poor folks who have to work there. They’re in a bad mood for a reason, usually. And, take your dates someplace more decent! It doesn’t have to be fancy, just well-managed, and clean.

By ATL Guy

July 10, 2008 10:34 AM | Link to this

MELO & ABC if server came early or interrupted in a rude way…I would tell them to give us a few minutes.

I went to this French restaurant in Chicago called NOMI (overlooking Michigan Avenue - WaterTower) and really nice place…waiter was a Prick. He was like “what kind of water do you want?? Avion, Perrier, etc” I’m like “just regular water is fine” He’s like “from the Lake?” I’m like “ummmm yeah…exactly, from the Lake…” LoL

You know people get all irrate about food coming out a little bit late or whatever…to me, I’m out to have a good time, I’m not going to critique every small issue…I’ve been a server once and will give benefit of the doubt. I can’t remember having HORRIBLE service, well once. I had to go in the Kitchen to find her to get my bill…that was Awful. LoL

By SexyCool

July 10, 2008 10:35 AM | Link to this

catz…what did you expect the dude to talk about other than what he does and the things that he is exposed to in his environment or that were on his level?

By DasV

July 10, 2008 10:35 AM | Link to this

Melo job is good. unlike last year though this summer has been busy! and has gone by quick… imma try to get in some down time before school starts up again though. lookin out for your email or call

behaviors that convey superior status above others is just a guise for lacking self-esteem…feeling an identity valuation threat snaps for that!! M’K its so true. you see hancock? if so, what did you think of it??

good morning CEE… chuckling at you going to read blanc’s post again. i still say if he had injected a ‘please’ up in that we wouldnt’ve had nothing to talk about today. :)

By Foots (aka Pootbox)

July 10, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this

Catz Call that dude and tell him that I have a deal for him: He can pay me only $45,000 to shoot the hellz out of whatever is eating the tops off my tomato plants in my backyard. I’m inexpensive like that.

By Kym aka Lady Sage

July 10, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this

Thank you Foots..Thank you 2C

By AmazonRed

July 10, 2008 10:38 AM | Link to this

i’m reading what you are reading and Cee is still looking sideways.

Thanks Cemeeli. Just checking because it’s still early. LOL

By The Melo

July 10, 2008 10:38 AM | Link to this

I just find it ironic how he’s trying to call out someone else for being suspect nothing escapes ur very Always the smart azz does it.Iam not calling him suspect in any way,shape or form,for the record.Iam reading him based on his writings and i cld be wrong or i cld be right.I dont want him to be anything other than who he is.

By M'Karyl

July 10, 2008 10:40 AM | Link to this

If the waiter approached the table and conveyed a little too personal or over friendly interaction with the patrons…then maybe the date was correct for defining some more formal boundaries… and this could be done without rudeness…but if he was just outright rude as if he needed to immediately put the waiter in a place and position category, then maybe he was out of line…Blanca said she was a server, so I think the first scenario is not even in question…my experience from living in the ATL taught me that there is a lot of condescending and demeaning attitudes simply based upon a perceived place and position of a person…lived it.

By Kym aka Lady Sage

July 10, 2008 10:42 AM | Link to this

Thank you Raqi..Thank you Sidelines..

Still no gas cards

By The Truth

July 10, 2008 10:43 AM | Link to this

Catz in all fairness to the guy he can only talk about things that are important to him. It’s like if you were hanging with Kobe and he had to buy a car. He wouldn’t be talking about a Ford. He’d be talking about a Bentley. I’ve found that a person throws out their strongest jab first.

ABC a gentleman is a man that thinks one thing but does another.

By AmazonRed

July 10, 2008 10:45 AM | Link to this

Iam reading him based on his writings and i cld be wrong or i cld be right.

Nothing personal melo, just pointing out the same thing happened to you. I just wonder why it matters. He’s posted enough that we can determine he’s into women The degree of “caveman” in a guy will vary.

By M'Karyl

July 10, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this

@DasV

No, I have not seen Hancock yet. I do not go to the theater, but I will wait for the DVD release…Will Smith is always good in his roles…I am off to the work site…so I will check back in after 12 noon…ciao

By DasV

July 10, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

LOL@ Still no gas cards… i hope not just this day, but every day for you is beautiful and full of peace, if not love. (i know, i know that still does nothing for your gas tank needs) LOL

By The Melo

July 10, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this

And, if that wasn’t BAD ENOUGH, then he had to go on about the natives cleaning and processing the game (meat). I must have given him ‘the look’ at that point. So, he says, ‘It’s not like its slavery. I pay them $5.00 for a day’s work.’ WTF????? hey CATZ, im familiar with what u saying and the guy was not trying to show off,thats real.The us$ is valued diffrently in diif countries.And local folks cleaning up animals for trophy hunters and them getting the game meat and hunters getting their trophies is typical and standard in the Zambezi Valley for example. The guy is not a braggart in my view based on what u say, he was basically talking about what he does, and u happen to know nothing about trophy hunting.U date him,and its a step up for u!!!!

By catz

July 10, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this

Foots -LOL Thankx for the chuckle

Yeah, yall are right. He could only talk about what he knows.

He and what he knew, just happened to be completely foreign to me!

No thank you.

By The Melo

July 10, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this

The degree of “caveman” in a guy will vary and u right..lol.I am trying to see if he can define his degree himself without u coming to his aid,u spoiling it for me by ur noseyness….for the record,another male blogger sniffed on it subtley this week..u may not have picked it…..

By ATL Guy

July 10, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this

Aggressivelywitty I asked an opinion about the situation with out of town girl…no one was crying about it. Not sure why you’re bashing me trying to get some perspective.

MELO Its really funny you’re trying to call me out as something I’m not. I get Females, don’t worry about that. You want to talk about Respect then you’re trying to bring Race into it? I’m White, 5’11, Black hair, Green Eyes, Athletic. There is your description. You kind of come across as Gay trying to get my specifications, you think?

Let me guess, you’re black? Really don’t know why race is even an issue in this room because I could careless.

By Cemeeli

July 10, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this

@ ARed I can be a lil slow sometimes but my bathtime is over. hahahaha

Still no gas cards – i feel ya.

Kym you’re welcome sis; I wish that I could cyber-telegram you this Houlihans Gift Card for your birthday.

2C hey you. Do you think negra and/or blanco is going to converse with us today?

I’m okay…not really… that joint hurts really bad. I‘ll be okay got too many things to do…I gotta watch what I do with it. Uhm…thanks for asking.

By Silent Assassin

July 10, 2008 11:02 AM | Link to this

The Truth^five on your definition of a gentelman. I’m totally in love with a jerk! HELP!

By Beautiful

July 10, 2008 11:02 AM | Link to this

mood today: happy. no, i didn’t get sum. got a gift card this am for an hr massage.

The true test of a person’s character is how they treat people from different walks of life.

dangit! girl you took my comment. anyhoo … Blanca it’s good that you stayed, but you should have questioned his behavior and advised him how you felt. why not? you weren’t ever going to see him again and it would have been fun. lol. seriously.

happy birthday kym! and many more …

what’s up bloggettes!

By Foots (aka Pootie Tang)

July 10, 2008 11:03 AM | Link to this

Kym For Real has the $2 gas cards and he hasn’t been in in a while. I’ll tell him you’re looking for him. Now when I find him and he gives you the cards, he may also want to give you some birthday licks, like with his tongue okay, so watch out for that.

On Hancock I liked that movie. I think that the critics were right about the change of pace and storyline in the middle, but it was still very entertaining. It’s something that I wouldn’t mind seeing again when it comes out on DVD.

But then again, I haven’t flat out hated any movie except Vanilla Sky. Even when my mama made me sit through Into the Wild. I was sleepy and my I-bonds had matured by the time we got out of there, but I didn’t hate it.

I was discussing movies once with my dude and he said that there was only one movie that he spent the whole time it was playing looking at it sideways. He said he didn’t get it AT ALL, and had to watch it one more time before it even made a marginal amount of sense. After the third time, it was slap yo mama funny. I could only think of one movie like that on Earth, and we said it at the same time: “POOTIE TANG!!” LOL! So in honor of that dumb azz movie and all dumb azz movies everywhere, along with my propensity for fiber-related flatulence, I will henceforth be known as Pootie Tang.

By AmazonRed

July 10, 2008 11:04 AM | Link to this

am trying to see if he can define his degree himself without u coming to his aid,u spoiling it for me by ur noseyness

You need to look in the mirror with that assessment melo. LOL.

I figured ATL Guy was white. Welcome brother! LOL

Cemeeli - I had my bathtime this morning too. I love my tub. It’s so long that even I can lay down completely in it. I usually take them at night and melt away the worries of my day but I fell asleep. So this morning it was!

By Kym aka Lady Sage

July 10, 2008 11:04 AM | Link to this

Okay ATLGuy’s so your’re the token white guy on the blog…joking..well maybe not-Okay seriously who put vodka in my orange juice.

By aggressively witty

July 10, 2008 11:06 AM | Link to this

ATL not bashing you at all. With that out of town girl situation and with this male friend situation it comes off as ‘crying’ not in the literal sense but again in the less than masculine sense. And if you truly are a white dude me using the term ‘crying’ may have been lost on you in. No big deal dude just, let me see how i can put this…busting your chops.

By For Real

July 10, 2008 11:06 AM | Link to this

Chick: Oh For Real this is a wonderful restuarant.

For Real: It is isn’t it. I’ll motion for the waitress.

Waitress: Yes sir, thank you for coming to Scrabbles our chef Musing Lee is waiting to create a food event for you and your guest.

Chick: Wow!!! Well um do yall have chicken wings.

Waitress: Feeling uncomfortable No but Chef Lee can prepare a chicken meal for you.

The gentlelman in For Real sensing that the waitress is uncomfortable, For Real decides to gently caress the back of the waitress’s neck while pressing Black Cake on her thigh

Chick: For Real what are you doing?

The gentleman in For Real senses that the Chick is uncomfortable with how comfortable the waitress has become, For Real decides to pull the Chick in for some neck caressing and Black Cake pressing with the now comfortable waitress.

Chick & Waitress: For Real you are such a gentleman.

For Real: I guess that’s how I was raised.

By The Melo

July 10, 2008 11:06 AM | Link to this

You want to talk about Respect then you’re trying to bring Race into it? I’m White, 5’11, Black hair, Green Eyes, Athletic. i dont knw how asking a direct qs wld be dissing u..u either answer yes or no or choose not to respond at all…and i get questions on my race everytime i open my mouth,being african and speaking with an accent,so i guess i need to start calling them on that diss when they ask me where u from…even on job applications,they ask u white or black…,naturalized citizen etc.?..so iam shaking my head at hw thats so uncomrfortable,thoght that was an american traditon to ask…. and ared,same thing happened to you. and i didnt have to remonstrate against nobody for looking at me round,square or oval,iam who iam and wld care less about what smebody thoght even after i explain,just so comfy and confident in this mandingo thick skin…..u digg?

By The Melo

July 10, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this

and atlguy, u white, u solved my puzzle,thanks!!!!

By Kym aka Lady Sage

July 10, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this

Thank you Beautiful..

I think that will be the new trend this coming year..Give the gift of Gas! Buy your sweetie a Gas card for Christmas, Birthdays etc.

By AmazonRed

July 10, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this

Okay ATLGuy’s so your’re the token white guy on the blog…

Aw…Kym, don’t forget about Staceye’s boo Binford!

By Clear Thinker

July 10, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this

Am reminded of an expression a substitute teacher taught me years ago:

“The minimum requirement of an educated person is good manners.”

By M.

July 10, 2008 11:12 AM | Link to this

If you are stuck on a terrible date, you just have to either pretend to like it or just say what you want because you know there will NEVER be another date. I went out with a school teacher who just moved here from mississippi and just got out of a bad relationship, but insisted over the phone she was ready to start dating again. We are waiting for the food and the conversation shifts and she says All men are dogs including YOU!! Im like huh? Then she proceded to try to insult me regarding my career, style, etc. I think she was having a flashback and thought I was him. This girl was crazy period. Ill never forget her

By AmazonRed

July 10, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

and i didnt have to remonstrate against nobody for looking at me round

melo - If you say so.

By catz

July 10, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this

Ah,,,,,,,,,the Melo,……..

If dating ‘trophy troll’ is a step up for me, I’ll just date at my own meager level.

;+)

By Blanca

July 10, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this

ATL Guy and all The rest of the date consisted of me basically asking questions about his life and career to get through the night. (I lost interest in sharing much about myself.)

I have to say, while he didn’t display any more rudeness, he has an odd habit that made me uncomfortable - he would speak in very serious tones with a stern face, but after every few sentences would pause to smile, as if on a timer. I felt like I was sitting through an amateur sales pitch. (Perhaps his inner dialogue was “speak, 1, 2, 3, smile. Repeat.”)

By ATL Guy

July 10, 2008 11:15 AM | Link to this

Kym So now I can feel what its like to be the Minority! Haha!

By Foots (aka Pootie Tang)

July 10, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this

ATLGuy 5’11, Black hair, Green Eyes, Athletic.

If you wouldn’t have said you were 5’11”, I would have sworn that you were a dead ringer for this cat I had one time named Shadow. He was a handsome cat with black hair and green eyes too, but I think he was only 1’3” or so.

Catz Girl, I’m serious. I’ve got to get rid of that thing and it’s a $30K discount for him. And my backyard is much closer, cause gas is high.

Kym Found him!!

For Real I’m laughing so hard no sound is coming out!

By Foots (aka Pootie Tang)

July 10, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this

SilentAssassin LOVE your name! And I can REALLY identify with it. Especially after I eat a green apple or some broccoli. LMAO!!

What’s your situation with the jerk?

By The Melo

July 10, 2008 11:19 AM | Link to this

Catz is there any way u can put me in tch with ur dude..there is money to be made out of him…i can get u a cut…i have farmers who need hunters back there in the wild and wld appreciate a hook up..Matter of fact,anybody in need of raw diamonds,hit me up,my partner is in the Congo as we speak,heading this way with sme raw cheeze in his loot….

By The Melo

July 10, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

aggressively witty thanks partner,dnt know why my partner in crime,Truth did not cme to my aid..but thoght no male wld ask that qs,seemed so female to me,but then me being african,that may not be correct……but thats the direction i was coming from and ared had no clue,unless ofcourse she got a shot of testestarone this mornng….lol(only joking ared,i lus u)

By mytwocents

July 10, 2008 11:24 AM | Link to this

I’d have been like “Seriously?” “Is your day going well?” Gotta understand where it came from. And that’s also something I’ve asked servers who were sub par. Their responses are usually relieved and apologetic that their lives were affecting their service. We’ve all had to do our jobs despite some realness going on and it does sometimes seep thru.

Kym As a birthday treat you can go to Quik Trip and fill up. Tell the attendant I’ll be around to pay later & just drive off. If this works lemme know which one… Have a lovely one!

By AmazonRed

July 10, 2008 11:25 AM | Link to this

We are waiting for the food and the conversation shifts and she says All men are dogs including YOU!! Im like huh? Then she proceded to try to insult me regarding my career, style, etc. I think she was having a flashback and thought I was him. This girl was crazy period.

LMAO!!!!!!!!! That sounds like movie material M.

By KJ

July 10, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this

Most women are turned on by a-holes.

Therefore, most men act like a-holes.

Yawn.

Next.

By AmazonRed

July 10, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this

So now I can feel what its like to be the Minority! Haha!

ATL Guy, if you are truly an ATL guy, you should feel like that anyway.

Foots - Why did it take me a minute to figure out you were talking about an actual feline CAT instead of a guy. LOL

By Beautiful

July 10, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this

atl guy that explains it!

i really got a big mouth. one of my cuzzos wants me to put her on e-frickin’ harmony. sigh i don’t have time for this … well, yes i do.

be back later.

By ATL Guy

July 10, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this

MELO I’m glad me being white solves your “Puzzle” … Whatever Man.

Blanca Thats crazy, I would just be laughing through that whole dinner. Talking all Serious and Sh*t

By Blue Kolla

July 10, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this

What up Blog?

DasV/Ared cause a blk man is liable to deal with the waiter/waitress in so familiar a way that from observation you’d think they was on the date too…

I liked your response to the a-hole short of getting another seat. Peeps need to be checked and corrected sometime. And yeah, I read your response to that Red but you know what she was saying, but being your usual self, you had to get contrite. Wasn’t a big deal though, freaky deaky.

But Das, you’re right. I think that brothers on the average are more apt to be friendly, b/c somewhere on our journeys, we’ve had that fry-cook, or McJob, whereas JimBo who got to work in his daddy’s shop; so we can relate to what’s familiar. So let them high-hats continue to clown and treat people shinitty b/c they perceive a lower class of social standing.

Plus Das, anybody with any sense knows not to fugg with anybody that’s got to handle your food!!!

By Kym aka Lady Sage

July 10, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this

Wait Binford is white too!?

Okay I thought after RandyT left we put a limit on the number of white guys allowed on the blog. One was fine now we have two! Pretty soon..there will be Jimmy Buffet days at the blog lounge and dudes walking around with socks and sandals on. Or worse yet we will be overrun by Ken Doll look-a-likes wearing sweaters and shorts and telling us all how they backpacked all over Europe and trying to get all of us to join Greenpeace.

By For Real

July 10, 2008 11:35 AM | Link to this

Heyyyyyy Kym I heard you been looking for Mr. Gas Card. Well since it’s your bday here is a $2 gas for the low, low price $3.85. If you are good girl you can get this zipppppppp $3 gas card for $6.

By Tazzee

July 10, 2008 11:36 AM | Link to this

Morning Folks!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KYM!!!

Blanca - I went out with a guy that was like that. I didn’t see it at first because he picked the first few restaurants, they were all pretty expensive so the servers there were very accomodating. When we went to my favorite little steakhouse - he gave our server the look of death when she came to take our order. I should have taken the clue then, but I didn’t because he was such a gentleman to me.

Our relationship ended one weekend when he came to Atlanta with me. We went to Strip and were sitting outside. Well it was starting to rain and he lights into the server with ‘It’s raining - what are you going to do about it?’ I looked at him like he was crazy and so did the server. Then another server came over for something else and he was rude to that guy too. Finally, a guy that looked like the manager walked by and I kindly said, with a smile ‘do you think we can get our order to go? It’s starting to drizzle and we don’t want to get wet.’ The manager quickly ushered us to another table that was covered. My date thought that his rudeness got us the table and I explained to him that those servers were ignoring him and it was my kindness.

So we spent the rest of the dinner discussing how he treats others and his position was that if he’s paying for it, he should be able to treat people anyway he wants - he then went on the vent about how his employer treats him bad and all this other stuff.

That was the beginning of our weekend in Atlanta and it went downhill from there.

By Traci

July 10, 2008 11:37 AM | Link to this

I glad there is an ‘anonymous’ option.

With that said, there can’t be an honest discussion on this topic. It just can’t. Black women are programmed to defend black men to a fault.

If someone says ‘black men don’t like my body type’, you can’t tell her ‘yes they do’ if no black men are ever hitting her up.

If Atl Guy says 90% of the black woman who are approaching him are trifling, even if it’s something about him that’s attacting ‘trifling’, then what is he supposed to do settle for it?

I’m a (dark skinned (which I believe is relevent)), thirty something woman that drives a Benz and dresses with like an Oaks Bluff resident, trust me when I tell you there is a demographic of black dudes that see ‘FREE RIDE’ written across my forehead. Yeah, not every black man is like that, but the ones who approach me are. And I have given more than my fair share of benefits of the doubt to dudes who didn’t deserve it.

Yes, there are black women who are trying to gene splice their way into children with ‘good hair’ by dating/marrying I/R. Yes, there are black women who will cuss Tyrone out for calling her a ‘btch’ but let Brad call her a ‘jungle bunny’. But to say that makes up the majority of bw who date/marry interracially is to say that Whitney Houston/Bobby Brown are the poster children for ‘Black Love’.*

By Kym aka Lady Sage

July 10, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this

2cents thank you for the kind birthday wishes I am going to pass on that gift of theft though…not trying to spend my birthday in the graybar motel.

For Real you are a fool! LMAO!!

By AmazonRed

July 10, 2008 11:40 AM | Link to this

And yeah, I read your response to that Red but you know what she was saying, but being your usual self, you had to get contrite.

BK - According to you and we already know where your bias lies. It simply wasn’t my experience which is why I asked a question, rather than automatically assuming.

Anywhoo…

By Cemeeli

July 10, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this

mytwo i’m waiting for my membership card.

Kevin Garnett was thought to have the personality of an a-hole and i foundnd him to be of a cool guy.

so KJ you may have a point there.

By Foots (aka Pootie Tang)

July 10, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this

Amazon Yeah, I was (sigh)… I miss that cat. He was such a good boy.

Traci Now, I know we get off topic on the regular, but are you just venting?

By Kym aka Lady Sage

July 10, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this

Thank you Tazzee..

For Real I know good and doggone well you are not trying to sell me a gas card on my birthday..and 2.00 in gas is only going to get you two feet these days, if that far. Shame on you.

By The Truth

July 10, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this

Ared most guys are raised around guys that for the most part are very macho. We tackle each other, fight, cuss and things like that. When a guy comes on without a certain amount of “fight” in him it makes you wonder where he came from. It’s something alot of guys have to adjust to because growing up we NEVER hung with guys like that. Times have changed and there are some cool dudes that are less than macho but still I’m not trying to hang with them. Deep down I can’t relate. That is the “caveman” you refer to. It just doesn’t seem “right”.

Good manners are a facade as is being a gentleman. The reason is you really aren’t as nice as you appear. It doesn’t take much at all to get you out of that state and into something more like “you”. The best you can hope to be is genuine. I’ve met people that were’nt what you would call nice but they were real and because of that they were acceptable.

Atl guy you do come across as soft sometimes. I chalked it up to your age to be honest. If I closed my eyes and read SOME of your posts I’d think you were a woman. Try putting more bass in your posts. LMAO

If a woman calls a guy an azzhole it’s because she didn’t get her way. If she calls him a puzzy it’s because she did get her way. I would much rather be an azzhole than a puzzy.

Melo dnt know why my partner in crime,Truth did not cme to my aid. Sorry bruh but i’m limiting my posts to you till I find out more about the finger in the azz thing. The truck thing does make me feel better, unless it’s pink. LOL Let’s agree to not talk about medical procedures again.

By Foots (aka Pootie Tang)

July 10, 2008 11:49 AM | Link to this

Oh, Traci, almost forgot… I have a few blog vests left over from one of the wars last week. What size you wear? If I give you an Extra Medium, will it fit over your Oaks Bluff clothing? LOL

By Cemeeli

July 10, 2008 11:50 AM | Link to this

lol @ Kym…that’s right, it’s your birthday you get to act a fool!

but then the other dayz…uhhhmmm

By The Melo

July 10, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this

Most women are turned on by a-holes. Therefore, most men act like a-holes. Yawn. for a moment i almost typed blowJ,but u are KJ right….? most men are a* hole, i wld agree,they bottle up the azzh once they meet a female they like enough,but any male with no degree of azzhle in them is suspect.Like ared said, there is caveman,transl azzh every dude,degree varies….. It takes azzhle behavior 4 example,if dude has to protect fam and confront thieves trying to break in…coz the dudes on other side are azzh so u cannot confront them with niceness….or lets say sme dude disses ur girl and u are in a public place. Exmple me and fam were cming outa phhipps arena after a hockey game and we driving outa the park lot,its crowded. i was cming from a side lane to main line to head to gate and this car wld not give me way and a passnger in there said,hey u stop,dnt cut,i proceeeded to cut anyway and told them,* if u scratch my van, i blw ur head up* and loud when my wify and kids were in there. They relented and let me in but i regretted the blow u up comment later coz of kids presence but smetimes if u dnt let ur ballzz hang out 4 them to see,dudes will walk all over u…

By Tazzee

July 10, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this

Kym ‘Give the gift of gas’ I had to LOL at that one. Oh and you forgot about abc in your white guy count. I miss RandyT…

Foots I hated Vanilla Sky too. My friend and I were talking about that the other day. Talking about movies we hated and I brought up that dern movie.

By ATL Guy

July 10, 2008 11:54 AM | Link to this

Everyone’s saying me being white explains it. How does race define the individual!? Just generalizations maybe.

You know they always say “Once you go Black you Never go Back” … Ladies maybe this sayin should be “Once you go Black … You’re a Single Mom”

I’m playin…

I’ve come across more people that have issues with race being Black than I have with White. Wonder why that is. How come Jesse Jackson is too busy complaining and talking trash about how Obama “talks down” to black people only. How come Al Sharpton did not support the white lacrosse players who were falsely slandered and accused of rape by a black stripper. How about that for Racism.

My family is from Europe and I swear racial tension in this country will bring this country down if people don’t stop divi