Misadventures in Atlanta

By GaMan

July 15, 2008 8:32 AM | Link to this

This is a test of your emergency Blog system…this is only a test

By ATL Guy

July 15, 2008 8:36 AM | Link to this

On Topic: I met AmazonRed and I keep asking myself is this person for real!? So yeah, guess I have…

By Dan

July 15, 2008 8:38 AM | Link to this

Good morning

I can agree with your assessment WD. The “too good to be true” attitude can be defensive in that the person using that phrase has given the object a higher value than him/herself.

No one is too good to be true, there are people we know a lot about, people we know a little about, and people we know nothing about and project on to them the best (and sometimes worst) of ourselves.

By Raqi

July 15, 2008 8:40 AM | Link to this

Ironically while we all search for that someone that is perfect we know deep down inside that perfect in ther perfect sense does not exist.

However there is such thing as perfect to me or for me.

There is something unpleasant about all of us. But I think that ideal person or persons that can live with that bit of unpleasantness can see you as perfect to them.

I have many faults and my husband does too, but we are perfect for each other. I always said the man that gets me will be the man that “gets me”. He had to be an understanding man but unwavering.

And I on the other had am a woman that needed him but didn’t need him. I am perfect for him. The self-sufficient traditional wife.

If we first be honest with who we are and then honest about the person we desire in our life, despite what all others think or say, we can find “perfect for me”.

By Poppa Grande

July 15, 2008 8:48 AM | Link to this

Every human on the face of the Earth has flaws. Therefore, too good to be true is an illusion. It results in unrealistic expectations that ensure the failure of any relationship.

You see this in politics all the time. Today is primary election day in GA Politicians know that everyone has a flaw and most people older than five minutes old have done something that they wish that they had done differently. Politicians use this metaphoric “other shoe” to their advantage much the same way as people who date waiting for the “other shoe”. They use it as a way to dismiss the other person without thinking about their own flaws.

By lava

July 15, 2008 8:48 AM | Link to this

I think ur boy, atl and Dan are joined to the hip,1 person,2 blog identities.

By ATL Guy

July 15, 2008 8:50 AM | Link to this

I set expectations too high…I’m sure of it. Sometimes I don’t realize how fortunate I am with the girls I’ve been out with. People tell me, but sometimes I get caught up on the small things and it adjust my perspective. I went to this coffee place with my ex and the woman behind the counter just told me “you know how stunning your g/f is?” it was totally random. Or my friends tell me how my ex was the most considerate girl. Maybe its easy to get caught up and take it for granted. She was probably too good to be true, but small factors made me move on

Interesting topic this morning

By Dan

July 15, 2008 8:54 AM | Link to this

While this suggestion has been made before, it would require a suspension of belief and a man with more time on his hands that work for me to create “a blog alter ego”.

While I do enjoy blogging (most days, and mostly here) I’m not that guy to create an alternative personality. I’ve admitted my conceit for self on more than one occasion, why would I create someone else?

Nonsensical non-sequitors aside, Lava, in truth how would you know that?

By ATL Guy

July 15, 2008 8:57 AM | Link to this

I think lava is clueless

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

July 15, 2008 8:58 AM | Link to this

Morning All!

IMHO, too good to be true means “not what I expected”. I have had those moments where I said that about a guy and most times it was b/c I pegged him before getting to really know him in a general way. (i.e all men like sports, strip clubs, beer, etc)

Raqi I agree with your statement I have many faults and my husband does too, but we are perfect for each other. That is all that matter, there is someone for everyone.

PoppaGrande your statement was right on in regards to politics

By AmazonRed

July 15, 2008 9:00 AM | Link to this

Good morning all! Hope everyone has a fantabulous day.

I’m an eternal optimist. I see what the effect of having a positive outloook has on your life, so I try to navigate the twist and turns of life knowing things could be worse and everything will be okay in the end.

That being said, I’ve certainly met a guy who I thought was darn near perfect and when I do, I just go with the feeling! If the flaws and red flags emerge and you have to move on, just be thankful for the moments of joy that were added to your life, if even briefly.

By ATL Guy

July 15, 2008 9:08 AM | Link to this

This is hard for me to say … but I totally agree with Amazon

Flaws come up that are deal breakers, must move on. But, nothing is to say you can’t work through the flaws if the positives outweigh the negatives. Comes down to what is valued. If they can’t match what you need as a foundation…then bounce out

By SlimOne

July 15, 2008 9:13 AM | Link to this

Good Morning ALL

ATL & Dan Oh behave….fore i put you all in the time out corner. It’s like watching the trolls feed other trolls.

Anyhoo, the only time i can say i’ve remotely experienced a “Too Good to Be True” was the guy just wasn’t doing all the things other guys were doing. He wasn’t pressing the sex issue, he didn’t come off as some male-Ho type, he had a spirituality about him…amongst other things. However, as time went on, I realized he was like the 4th bowl of porridge in The Three Bears…You know, he wasn’t too hot, he wasn’t too cold but he wasn’t Jussst right either. LOL! It probably just had much to do with him being a totally refreshing opposite from the last guy i had been dating. Go Figure

By SlimOne

July 15, 2008 9:18 AM | Link to this

Good Morning ALL

ATL & Dan Oh behave….fore i put you all in the time out corner. It’s like watching the trolls feed other trolls.

Anyhoo, the only time i can say i’ve remotely experienced a “Too Good to Be True” was the guy just wasn’t doing all the things other guys were doing. He wasn’t pressing the sex issue, he didn’t come off as some male-Ho type, he had a spirituality about him…amongst other things. However, as time went on, I realized he was like the 4th bowl of porridge in The Three Bears…You know, he wasn’t too hot, he wasn’t too cold but he wasn’t Jussst right either. LOL! It probably just had much to do with him being a totally refreshing opposite from the last guy i had been dating. Go Figure

By GreenBlackMamba

July 15, 2008 9:18 AM | Link to this

Staceye-AKA Black Mamba - I was just doing some testing yesterday, and since I like both Green and Black Mambas(Have you ever seen them up close, through a glass of course? LOL), I opted for playing with the name, and was not attempting to hijack your ID in anyway.

My apologies, I’ll try to be more careful in the future.

By ATL Guy

July 15, 2008 9:19 AM | Link to this

SlimOne Dan & I have been on Topic, whats your issue?

By lava

July 15, 2008 9:22 AM | Link to this

Iam clueless,i have attention seeking disorder,like you know who.I like to start ish everyday.

By Cemeeli

July 15, 2008 9:25 AM | Link to this

Morning!

Who has breakfast?

PoppaG - Coyote

abc - Alaskan Caribou

ARed - Swan

list finish from yesturday.

Mo hi girl. I got you coming…

By Wise Diva

July 15, 2008 9:30 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone! Let’s make today a positive and fun discussion, You know, like we used to have all the time! LOL

Lava, why don’t you relax a bit, lighten up a little, ok?

By Dan

July 15, 2008 9:30 AM | Link to this

Woah, now slick

Uh…Atl, Slim’s a friend of mine…we leave her be lest she get at one.

She got one of the slickest moufs on here…you can agitate that if you want, but I’d advise against it

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

July 15, 2008 9:33 AM | Link to this

Hey Cemeeli!

Okay everyone, have at it: waffles, pancakes, eggs (scrambled & boiled), bacon (turkey & pork), fish & grits, bagels, fresh fruit, muffins, juices, water, coffee, tea & mimosas

BRB!!

By AmazonRed

July 15, 2008 9:34 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone! Let’s make today a positive and fun discussion, You know, like we used to have all the time! LOL

I second.

By SlimOne

July 15, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this

AtlGuy I have no issue, I saw lava starting up with ya’ll today. No biggie.

By Raqi

July 15, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this

Thank you WiseDiva. I mean really. Are they going to do this every single day?

By Dan

July 15, 2008 9:41 AM | Link to this

Okay,

So a friend of mine is getting married in the next few months and the homie made a video with pictures from the crib (literally) to college buffonery and beyond. It has a soundtrack, commercials, guest appearances by some famous people, and clips of movies.

At a running time of 17 minutes, this will be my activity for the day. But all I can do is keep laughing (loudly) every 2 minutes at the old pictures people took. It is crazy wild

By abc

July 15, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this

I should just enjoy the guy’s company until I don’t anymore. Pretty simple, right?

That’s a telling statement. I’m sure that you don’t consider yourself to be a cynic, but if that doesn’t describe a cynical view of dating and relationships, I don’t know what does.

I would speculate that women would anticipate that a man had to be too good to be true because of their own proclivity for prevarication. One could say that my belief in the lying and secretive nature of women is cynical, and maybe it is, but it proves out over and over, and most men learn how to simply accomodate it, somehow.

By ATL Guy

July 15, 2008 9:44 AM | Link to this

Raqi No one had an issue today except maybe lava … Lets have a Good Time, no worries, chill

Weather is too damn nice & I’m stuck in my office!!!

By melo

July 15, 2008 9:51 AM | Link to this

I think it all depends on where u are agewise.If u still in ur late teens and early 20s,too good to be true can hapen coz sme folks then dont have a lot of dating histry and drama coz of educational pursuits etc.Late 20s to 40s, a lot of pple have dating histories and if they dnt share the dark and bad sides but only talk of the good side,then ur red flags must be up and waving…and a lot of times u cant tell unless somebody tells u.But still,ur inner instincts must tell u to prefer running than do what gullible chics say and do just give him a chance.U cant give a serial killer any more chance,the chance wl be against u.Trust ur inner instincts always. Good merning all….

By Cemeeli

July 15, 2008 9:52 AM | Link to this

Do you think single people use the “too good to be true” angle as a defense mechanism?

Someone was hinted about this during a phone conversation. Not “about” the individuals being perfect per se, but the treatment towards that too good to be true match up. Speaking of the “perfect match” how come it is sometimes hard to see it as a so call “perfect match”? And you go and overthink, underthink the idea of the relationship?

By Dan

July 15, 2008 9:52 AM | Link to this

@abc

There is something to be said for the displacement theory of emotion, but wouldn’t that apply to you as well?

Here me out. You’ve sighted your distrust for ladies on here before, and given what you’ve shared about your life, I can appreciate your sentiment. But at some point, doesn’t it reflect back to originator of such tranferrance?

just asking, your thoughts?

By 2CPTG

July 15, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this

‘sup…..do my own lil experimenting today…

By 2 Can Play That Game©

July 15, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this

‘sup…..domy own lil experimenting today…

By Blue Kolla

July 15, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this

Morning Blog…

Personally, I have no conception of the “too good to be true/for me” sentiment of today’s topic.

Hey Cee, I had waffles already, but if you’ve got some fruit, be a dear, and send it over. ;)

QC must be off today…

…good time to go surf Ebay.*

By Wise Diva

July 15, 2008 9:58 AM | Link to this

I just try to keep it in check abc, and it probably is cynical to a degree, for me, it seems to be a by-product of being a dating veteran. You don’t forget the mistakes you made, for fear of repeating them so you kind of stay in the middle of the road. Don’t get overly excited, don’t get overly cynical, see how it goes, give it a chance. If (when?) things come undone, you dust your shoulders off and learn your lessons for the next time. Question, Do you think you have managed to avoid cynicism after your marriages ended? I think your perspective about women and lying could fall under the cynical category, do you try to keep that in check when you deal with your current mate?

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

July 15, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

Good Morning all!!!

Wise It’s like we are always waiting for the “other shoe to drop” so to speak Now how many times have I said that on this blog? LOL So Staceye is not the only person who feels this way??? HMMMM

Green Mamba I am scared shytless of snakes. But I love to watch them on television or at the zoo. I watched the episode of Crocodile Hunter (RIP) when he was handling the Mambas. It was so cool. One day…as a belly dancer I will be able to get over my fear of snakes and use one in a dance. Until then..I will admire from a far. I do have a thing for Spiders & Lizards though. I will play with those.

As far as name jacking..I knew you meant nothing by it…I just have to clarify that we were 2 different people b4 I get accused of having a double moniker or split personality (which I think I do have LOL)!

On tpic I always say if it seems to good to be true…IT IS! Give it time..ole dude’s representative will go home and you will be left with a WTF look on your face because he is not the man you started to really like or fall for. Now comes the jaunting task of cutting your ties! But by then sometimes you are already infatuated with the guy you thought you had. Now that is a whole other can of worms. Its like free-balling on a hot smoggy day. Sure it feels great at first..then you are left with the clean up later! We know dirt can hide in any nook and cranny! And if not cleaned properly..infection can occur! Ok…I am done with my metaphorically speaking quote for today. LOL

By 2 Can Play That Game©

July 15, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this

hmmmm, since twerkin the innanet allows me to be in more than one place at once, and I don’t wanna come off as an “azzhole”, or “predator”….I’mma talk to myself today…..or my alter ego…

2CPTG, you there?

By Cemeeli

July 15, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this

Hey Blue i have a personal observation. I think the heat or the polluted air did it to me.

QC hey to ya.

By 2CPTG

July 15, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this

“2CPTG, you there?”

yeah, what’s on ya mind dawg?

By Atl Lady

July 15, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this

WiseD Good topic. I dated a couple of guys like that over the years, but the flaws weren’t something I could overlook. One in particular that had the 80% of the qualities that I am looking for, but was an alcoholic. I’m not talking about a social drinker. He would stay continuously drunk for days at a time. If you visited him at his home, he usually added liqour to whatever you were drinking most times without even asking. It was bad. When I approached him about his drinking problem, then I became the problem.

By AmazonRed

July 15, 2008 10:05 AM | Link to this

Its like free-balling on a hot smoggy day. Sure it feels great at first..then you are left with the clean up later! We know dirt can hide in any nook and cranny! And if not cleaned properly..infection can occur!

Staceye, just…wow. LMAO.

And…ew. LOL

By abc

July 15, 2008 10:05 AM | Link to this

Dan, since I propose that women would consider that a man was ‘too good to be true’ due to their expectation that he’d present himself as something he was not, as that’s their general approach (ergo, making first impressions, putting one’s best foot forward, being the keeper of peace etc. etc. as rationale for so being, if not going for the score of money, power and security) then I suppose it would follow that if I expect women to be that way, it could be because I am myself that way.

Now, that is some seriously recursive thinking! I think that approaches the paradoxical. Hmmmmm. Nonetheless, my usual character is to be completely open and honest.

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

July 15, 2008 10:09 AM | Link to this

Wise & abc You don’t forget the mistakes you made, for fear of repeating them so you kind of stay in the middle of the road Story of my life. I am not mad at abc. The moral of mistakes is to learn from them and NOT repeat them!

By 2 Can Play That Game©

July 15, 2008 10:14 AM | Link to this

Have you ever ran into one that was too good to be true?

“Real talk, cuz, you may be better off askin’ “Silky Smooth” about that.. you know he knows ‘em….”

Is he available?

“I’mma send him a text and get back at you in a sec…you know he sleep late..”

By 2CPTG

July 15, 2008 10:14 AM | Link to this

“Have you ever ran into one that was too good to be true?”

Real talk, cuz, you may be better off askin’ “Silky Smooth” about that..you know he knows ‘em…..

“Is he available?”

I’mma send him a text and get back at you in a sec…you know he sleep late..

By AmazonRed

July 15, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

I dated a couple of guys like that over the years, but the flaws weren’t something I could overlook. One in particular that had the 80% of the qualities that I am looking for, but was an alcoholic

Atl Lady, I feel you on this. I met a guy who had like 95%! I was hit with the thunderbolt. Tall, driven, handsome, a gentleman. He even is from the same area as me and went to the same college my mom did (which would have thrilled her). But we butted heads on one very important issue.

Now he has a girlfriend, but has recently started up sending me text messages about how we can still get together. :-/ That’s never gonna happen if he’s committed to someone else and it disappoints me greatly that he is a dog! LOL. But it helps keeps those “what ifs” away or thinking he was the one that got away. And the experience helped me in my relationships moving forward too.

By Dan

July 15, 2008 10:19 AM | Link to this

@abc

The paradox of relationships are evident, we look for what we want in a mate by what we lack in ourselves (initially), and then when that coupling proves detrimental, we look for our mirror.

What I’m proposing is not a solution in this case mind you (becuase if I had one, I’d use it) but more a statement of condition.

In this search for romantic love, far too many of us just don’t know at what stage we exist. I guess what I’m asking you abc, is a vet what would you propose as a solution?

By For Real

July 15, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this

What up Blog Fam!

“To Good To Be True” means that person doesn’t believe they are worthy of that “To Good To Be True” person. Thus, the attempt to make themselves feel better by finding or creating a flaw/excuse to get out of the relationship or not to start a relationship.

abc I disagree that “I figure that I should just enjoy the guy’s company until I don’t anymore. Pretty simple, right?” Is cynical. It is actually one of the most logical things that WD has said. Congrats WD that trip did you some good. That is all any of us can do is try and then see how it turns out. I think the cynical thing to do is to pre-judge an unknow kinda like 2E’s does.

2E’s What time is practice today?

By Foots

July 15, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this

I don’t think I’ve met anyone that I thought was too good to be true. I may have felt that way about the connection we had due to our conversation and the things we had in common. But the person always had their own “flaws” or situations that were easy to see.

I definitely believe that there is a person who is perfect for me, but not perfect. Even “perfect for me” means that we will disagree and vary on certain viewpoints, but we can come together in a way that is respectful and that makes us stronger as a couple.

Has anyone ever met someone that was close to the ideal match for you? Did it work out, why or why not?

When I was in my last year of college, I dated a young man who was a real sweetheart. Everything about him was desirable and we loved each other’s families too. My mama wanted to adopt him. In the cocoon of college, he was perfect, but once I graduated and had real bills and responsibilities, his lack of life experience was very apparent to me. He was three years behind me. I started feeling our age difference and became really critical of him. I realized that I was wrong for expecting him to be my age and in my stage, and that I couldn’t really accept him for being who he was at the time. So I let him go. It was a beautiful 2 years though. We’re still friends nearly 10 years later.

By Cemeeli

July 15, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this

2CPTG and 2 Can Play That Game…i will bruh…ah, What are you doing?

I am crakin’ up at you answering yourslef. anutha futha

By abc

July 15, 2008 10:29 AM | Link to this

WD, since I consider it to be the truth, it’s not cynicism to me, but others may think I’m cynical about it. My girl keeps secrets and tells lies, and most of the time she knows I know it. She’s aware of my opinion of that being a modus operandi for most, if not all, women. I think she appreciates that I understand it while at the same time regretting the cost it has to trust, and she tries to be more honest and open, but it goes against the grain of female belief systems.

Now, some men may say that to allow such behavior is to encourage it, and I can’t deny that. But, if you think any women you’ve been with have been any different, it’s just that you didn’t realize the nature of their behavior.

By SexyLeggs

July 15, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone. Boss out this week, took my time coming into work (LOL).

Too good to be true???? Nope, never encountered that. I deal mostly with people who are real and down to earth. All that posturing that people tend to do makes me uncomfortable. I don’t gravitate to those type of individuals. This will be an interesting read for me.

By Undercover Blogger

July 15, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this

Morning, I met this one guy and we had soooooooooo much in common til i begin to say this is too goog to be true I’ve never been that compatible with any Man i’ve ever met. Everything was soooo right i.e. attraction, sex, companionship, finances, etc. Then he had to move back home we kept in touch for a while until i never heard his voice again. Then i met another guy earlier this year same scenario except there was not sex; he just stopped calling afterwards he left me a voicemail saying “you’re just too good for me” Now i’m like “oh well, NEXT”

By Atl Lady

July 15, 2008 10:32 AM | Link to this

AredThe truly ugly part about the whole thing was mutual friends that told me on a regular basis that I needed to stand by him. One gf I had to totally dismiss everything she said b/c she had a man that had a lot of similar problems, but stuck it out with him when she should’ve bounced. She wanted someone to be in the same boat with her. I’m sorry, peace of mind is worth more than that. Tell your ex if he keeps looking back he’s going to turn into a pillar of salt. :-)

By AmazonRed

July 15, 2008 10:33 AM | Link to this

But, if you think any women you’ve been with have been any different, it’s just that you didn’t realize the nature of their behavior.

Baloney.

By Foots

July 15, 2008 10:34 AM | Link to this

For Real In thinking about what Wise said, I don’t see that as cynical either. There will somebody whose company you don’t get tired of and who you will continue to enjoy.

I think you have to approach a new situation with the reasoning that not everything is going to work out. We don’t marry everybody we date. It shouldn’t change the way you interact with that person, you can have fun and get to know them. But that mindset makes you much less tied to the outcome. It’s the nature of the dating beast, to change up a verse to fit the situation: many are dated, but few are married. Ride it until the wheels fall off. One day, it will become evident that with this particular person, the wheels just aren’t going to fall off. That’s the one to marry.

By Silky Smooth

July 15, 2008 10:35 AM | Link to this

2, what up mayne….ya boy woke me up tombout you needed to holla at me…you know I was’t gettin outta the bed for no hardlegs…what’s up pimpin

“ain’t nuttin, pimp….what’s up with you..?”

Pimpin, you did not wake me up for small talk, what’s up!

“Ummm, have you ever had a gal that was to good to be true?”

Ha!!! lemme wake up and elaborate…

By 2 Can Play That Game©

July 15, 2008 10:35 AM | Link to this

“2, what up mayne….ya boy woke me up tombout you needed to holla at me…you know I wasn’t gettin outta the bed for no hardlegs…what’s up pimpin?”

ain’t nuttin, pimp….what’s up with you..

“Pimpin, you did not wake me up for small talk, what’s up?”

Ummm, have you ever had a gal that was too good to be true?

“Ha!!! lemme wake up and elaborate…”

By AmazonRed

July 15, 2008 10:35 AM | Link to this

she tries to be more honest and open, but it goes against the grain of female belief systems.

And double baloney to this.

By QC

July 15, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

Morning Bloggers

Hey Cee-me-me

BK ;)

By For Real

July 15, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

Slim: For Real I have such a great time I don’t know what could possible make this night any better.

For Real: Zipppppppppppppppp!

Slim: That’s to good to be true!

By Albino Tigress

July 15, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

Look, Cee, as I embrace it. Skeptics say I probably don’t exist just cuz they haven’t come across me before, themselves. LUV IT! Taking your Iguana(?) under advisement. Thinkin’ Gazelle or other swift of movement, graceful…

People are multifaceted so it’ll take many years to discover & figure out those odd lil pieces that’ll complete the puzzle. Not sure why folks think they know all they need to know after 2 convos and 10 texts to declare perfection. A great match for me will realize I’m not tryna be, I just am and luckily he happened upon me.

abc Are your kids male? Wondering if you’d be able to maintain your stance having raised a girl or would u found it a pointless Mission tryna combat her innate proclivities.

By AmazonRed

July 15, 2008 10:40 AM | Link to this

ATL Lady - Do you think if your ex got sober and came back to you he’d be an option?

I am so with you on that peace of mind part.

As for me, the answer would have been “yes” until the “let’s cheat” scenario came out. If he does it with you, he’d do it to you.

By Alvin

July 15, 2008 10:40 AM | Link to this

Mayne!!! Most women will meet a guy who meet 99.99999% of her requirements and look for that dang’gon 1% error rate high and low in that dude…Belike:

Gurrrrl, one of his toes was jacked up!!

I told one of my young homie to just start doggin women out left and right a few months back…Now dude keeps an appointment book to help juggle them, LOL

I feel good about myself saving another dude from getting used up…

By Blue Kolla

July 15, 2008 10:42 AM | Link to this

Cee i have a personal observation.

And what is that?

By AmazonRed

July 15, 2008 10:45 AM | Link to this

I told one of my young homie to just start doggin women out left and right a few months back…Now dude keeps an appointment book to help juggle them, LOL

I feel good about myself saving another dude from getting used up…

Lawd, the amount of baggage being carted around in Atlanta.

By ATL Guy

July 15, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this

So in college I met a girl from Los Angeles going to UGA as a transfer student. We sort of went out, never really defined it. She wanted to be involved with a relationship and for whatever reasons I didn’t see her as g/f type. She was awesome, just wasn’t for me I guess.

I knew her father owned the Bank of Califoria with 2 other banks. She lived next to Heather Locklear in Thousand Oaks , Cali. I turned this girl down.

To this day my boyz let me have it for turning down a girl who would inherit the bank of California. Money isn’t all happiness, if connection isn’t there, why pretend.

I’d rather be poor and be with someone perfect than be rich and with someone I had no connection with.

By Foots

July 15, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

I was laughing to myself about this dude I met several months ago who tried his best to be too good to be true. Everything I liked, he liked, no matter what I said. I said liked to travel. He was like “OMG!! Me too!!” I like Six Flags. He was like “OMG!! Me too!! Five Flags just won’t do!!” I like half-ripe peaches. He was like “You’re kidding?? Me too!! Ripe peaches ain’t where it’s at!” I like dying on the 16th of every month and coming back to life. He was like “I can’t believe somebody else likes to die every month!! I just killed myself yesterday and I’m back again!!” It was ridiculous!

I let him get his excitement out, but I saw him as transparent; I could see right through that. It lasted about two weeks and then he gave up the ruse. Couldn’t maintain the facade.

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

July 15, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this

ARED You know how I do! LOL

For Real I’m cynical as hell! I’ll admit that! LOL

Undercover Girl he dumped you via Voicemail. That is a coward! Good riddings of hot garbage! LOL

By abc

July 15, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this

AR, so you say, but you just frontin. :-)

Albino, it’s behavior girls learn from their mothers and other women in their families. It can be as simple as telling someone they’re busy when they really just don’t want to see them, telling other women how smart and well behaved their kids are when they’re really little monsters that are on the verge of flunking everything, lying about how much money and status their husband brings them, and so on.

A man would tell you don’t call him he’ll call you, seek advice from others about how to correct their rotten kids behaviors, and won’t discuss money, period.

By Foots

July 15, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this

Blog dudes By a show of hands, how many of you guys would have married ATL Guy’s Bank of California girl, made sure there was no prenup, made it last for a few years, and vacated with palimony payments?

By Kym aka Lady Sage

July 15, 2008 10:53 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

Every human on the face of the Earth has flaws. Therefore, too good to be true is an illusion. It results in unrealistic expectations that ensure the failure of any relationship

This statement pretty much sums up my feelings on this topic.

As for voting…I have voted have you?

By Cemeeli

July 15, 2008 10:53 AM | Link to this

Not sure why folks think they know all they need to know after 2 convos and 10 texts to declare perfection. A great match for me will realize I’m not tryna be, I just am and luckily he happened upon me.

You Better Say That!

Cee is now handing you your certified Albino Tiger papers.

By SexyLeggs

July 15, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this

Alvin, what can I say….STOP GIVING YOUR HOMIES STUPID ADVICE LIKE THAT!!!!

By SlimOne

July 15, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this

Slim: For Real I have such a great time I don’t know what could possible make this night any better.

For Real: Zipppppppppppppppp!

Slim: That’s to good to be true!…Wait a cottin pickin minute.

For Real: What’s wrong?

Slim: You forgot to take the tag off your pants….looks like it has a disclaimer on it. “Objects will appear larger than they really are”

For Real: blank stare

Slim: That was a good one buddy. Here let me show you dis Ziiiiiiiiippp

For Real passes fluck out…CT had him by 6 inches

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

July 15, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this

LOL Foots too funny…

By 900K aka Mr 2008

July 15, 2008 10:58 AM | Link to this

Mornin to All

It’s been awhile since I hit up the scene good to see the Fam is still at it… I dig the topic for today and can relate to it since it can be harder than it should be for me to meet a girl just to chill wit on a rainy day when I’m single then outta nowhere BAM, supa-chick swoops in with no ties, no strings, No baggage and No crazy azz fresh out: still smellin like the mess hall baby father. Me, I just roll with it and enjoy. If she slips then she will fall; if not… It just makes me wonder what the heck been goin on with me before that made it so difficult? Thats why they call it fate I guess

By AmazonRed

July 15, 2008 11:01 AM | Link to this

abc - Actually I’m not fronting. Being open and honest is actually a personal mission of mine and sometimes it’s been to my detriment, but I still believe in living in truth. Lies do a number on your health and conscience, at least for certian people.

I can’t argue with what you’ve personally experienced, but not all women are like that, no matter what you want to believe.

And to mytwo’s point, if it’s learned behavior from their mothers, why do you as a father allow it? Is it because you arent’ around everyday? If my mother was the lying type, my father certainly wouldn’t stand for it in his household. She smoked too and didn’t even allow her to smoke around her own childen or even in their house.

By Foots

July 15, 2008 11:03 AM | Link to this

LMAO @ Slim!!! Girl, you stoopid!!

By Silky Smooth

July 15, 2008 11:04 AM | Link to this

aiiight, I’m woke now…Too good to be true, you ask?

“Yeah…”

Pimpin, first, you gotta define too good…to good for what?

“well, the topic asks the question about a significant other…”

Pimpin, ain’t nannn female too good for you! If y’all mesh well together, then you wife her up, or in my case, boss her up!

By 2 Can Play That Game©

July 15, 2008 11:04 AM | Link to this

“aiiight, I’m woke now…Too good to be true, you ask?”

Yeah….

“Pimpin, first, you gotta define too good…to good for what?”

well, the topic asks the question about a significant other…

“Pimpin, ain’t nann female too good for you! If y’all mesh well together, then you wife her up, or in my case, boss her up!”

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

July 15, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this

ATL Guy Have you seen the V-8 commercials where people get bopped on the forehead? Come hear and let me bop the hell out of you! LOL j/k

900 where have you been? I put out an APB for you! LOL

By SexyCool

July 15, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this

i associate ‘too good to be true’ thoughts with the “ain’t nothin’ like new” feeling…

sooner or later…it will be proven to be just not THAT good…but still good enough…and eventually, new is old…or at least, familiar…

By i'm swiss

July 15, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this

“Its like free-balling on a hot smoggy day. Sure it feels great at first..then you are left with the clean up later! We know dirt can hide in any nook and cranny!”

Um… Staceye… Do we even want to know how you got so knowledgeable about free-balling?

@abc — I used to pretty much share your view… until now, that is. Funny thing is, I almost broke it off w/ my now fiance early on because she was just too honest — I kept thinking if this is the ‘best foot forward’ I’m in trouble. Turns out she’s just been totally real from day 1. Amazing… :-)

By Tazzee

July 15, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this

Morning folks!

I’ve experienced the ‘too good to be true’ syndrome, but while that was in the back of my mind, I did like Wise stated, enjoyed his company until I didn’t anymore.

I’ve never broken up with a guy because I thought he was too good. For the most part I give folks a chance to prove they aren’t their representative.

Foots - I like dying on the 16th of every month and coming back to life. He was like “I can’t believe somebody else likes to die every month!! I just killed myself yesterday and I’m back again!!” that is too funny, that guy needs to be committed.

By Alvin

July 15, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this

Blog dudes By a show of hands, how many of you guys would have married ATL Guy’s Bank of California girl, made sure there was no prenup, made it last for a few years, and vacated with palimony payments?

I have both hands rise…But i would have to be 21-26 to have that mind set.

SexyL. you wouldn’t respect his weak a$$ at all…he is only 21 and needed to man up and handle dem young girls for me…y’all grown women can be a hand full at times and would just use him up.

By ATL Guy

July 15, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

This room always breaks out in a brawl around lunch time everyday. I swear its because people are hungry…causes fights!

By Foots

July 15, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

abc When someone calls me in the middle of me watching my recording of Grey’s Anatomy or the Closer, I will not answer the phone. When I call them back and they ask me what I was doing when they called earlier, I am very honest about telling them that I was watching my favorite show.

BUT I will admit that when somebody calls me and I am purposely screening calls during that time, when I call them back and they ask what I was doing when they called earlier, I will tell a itty bitty lie (I was busy/in the shower/phone was on mute) to avoid having to say “Um, yeah. I know you called. I picked up the phone, saw it was you, and really didn’t feel like hearing your dayum voice. I would have sent you directly to voicemail, but then you’d know I was screening, so I let it ring through. Now that I took a couple of Valium and I can deal with yo crazy azz, I’m calling you back. Why? What’s up?”

I don’t think that’s specific to women though. I don’t think my boyfriend would call his mom back and tell her that he didn’t take her call earlier because he still had a little bit left on his hands and didn’t want to get the phone sticky.

By Alvin

July 15, 2008 11:15 AM | Link to this

*I like dying on the 16th of every month and coming back to life.

Dude was a touch on the slow side uh?

By For Real

July 15, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this

For Real awakening from his state of shock after witnessing the 9th wonder of the world, slaps the ish out of Poots for asking a stupid question.

You would have to be gay not to take advantage of that situation. Lets see give up 3yrs of my early 20 for a six figure return.

By Here Today Gone Tomorrow

July 15, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this

Wise Diva E. Lynn Harris’s new book is titled “Just Too Good To Be True”. Did you read it? Was that today’s topic inspiration?

By AmazonRed

July 15, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this

You would have to be gay not to take advantage of that situation.

Oh you could simply be ethical.

I really question the scruples of some of you on this blog.

By Albino Tigress

July 15, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

abc Though I will forever disagree with your premise, I understand it as you’ve been consistent in explaining it to me. So either I’m hearing you say your ex’s will to train up the girl child in the way she should go superceded your own to break the cycle, you have a girl and don’t waste time asserting influence on her in that way b/c it seems futile or you’ve got boys who you’ve already or one day will indoctrinate w/ your fatal female flaw theory. Or maybe my memory’s faulty & you don’t have kids…

By Wise Diva

July 15, 2008 11:24 AM | Link to this

Atlguy, what are you talking about? LOL I don’t see a blog brawl!

By SlimOne

July 15, 2008 11:24 AM | Link to this

Foots Your story about the “CopyCat Dater” reminds me of that part in the movie 40 Year Old Virgin where he goes in that bookstore and pretty much asks the chick there the same thing she asks him.

Chick: So what are you looking for?

Dude: What are YOU looking for?

Chick: Well we have all types of subjects. We have fiction…Self-help…

Dude: Do YOU like to do it yourself?

Chick: ha ha you’re funny. What’s your name?

Dude: What’s YOUR name?

LOLOLOL!

By Blue Kolla

July 15, 2008 11:24 AM | Link to this

Foots Blog dudes By a show of hands, how many of you guys would have married ATL Guy’s Bank of California girl, made sure there was no prenup, made it last for a few years, and vacated with palimony payments?

Now that’s funny, because I was thinking that 87% of females would’ve hung out like curing tobacco, waiting on dudes peeps to die off & hand over the riches. Then she’d be out the door.

But AtlGuy probably fugged up a good thing b/c he saw her as hang out material but not GF material. And we all know that his GF material these days ain’t hittin’ on sh!t. He’d’ve been better off with the friend chick; and that’s with or without the money sack.

And I’ll say this too… many women who get that “he’s too good to be true” thing in their heads, do so because deep inside, they know that they ain’t about sh!t; so what in the world would this dude see in them; and why ain’t he seeing the sheisty?

By Atl Lady

July 15, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this

Ared No. His sobriety would not entice me to go back down that road. Number one, I drink myself. I don’t have a drinking problem, but I love my tequila and rum from time to time. Number two, his drinking was more about what was going on with him in the spirit. He had unresolved issues with his father and his father died while we were dating. He took his untimely death rather hard despite their differences. IMO his father tried to bury the hatchett and his arrogance and stubborness got in the way and then it was too late. (His father called him an educated fool. Keep in mind that his father had a master’s in business and was a Alpha man like him, but was very down to Earth and loved his people. My ex could be pretentious at times and that just didn’t fly well with dad. Plus my ex and a couple of his brothers had dated white women which he was against as well) He started dating a white woman when we split. All of a sudden, family is really important. Ain’t that a blip.

By Foots

July 15, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this

Amazon Oh you could simply be ethical.

Just sayin… Many countries in the world still have marriages based on something other than true love. Some world couples grow to love each other, after a marriage based on financial arrangement. Some US couples stay together for financial arrangement, after a marriage based on love fails. We’d need BennyB or abc to expound upon the relatively modern notion of marrying for love, not business or power distribution.

Not saying it’s right…just saying…LOL

By ATL Guy

July 15, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this

BlueKollar don’t worry about me … I’m better off, trust me

By Albino Tigress

July 15, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this

Alvin You attended the Silky Smooth School of Charm too? Y’all a trip but sadly it’s a formula that still works for some ladies. Somewhere.

By Wise Diva

July 15, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this

why yes, it was! that’s exactly what gave me the topic idea! I got an email about his upcoming book and remembered that I wanted to blog about this concept, nice that you caught that too :), do you plan to read the book?

By Dan

July 15, 2008 11:35 AM | Link to this

@BK

I definitely agree that there is a “why me?” quality to the too good to be true. But then that goes back to how one feels about oneself.

I don’t know too many dudes that have ever expressed that a woman they met was too good to be true, most of my homies feel like she right there where she needs to be.

^5: and why ain’t he seeing the sheisty? If that don’t sound like female logic….

By The Truth

July 15, 2008 11:37 AM | Link to this

Dan So a friend of mine is getting married in the next few months Tell him not to do it. The quickest way to ruin a perfectly good woman is marry her. Scientific proof exists that wedding cake eliminates a womans sexual desires.

Good morning everyone.

On topic: No woman is to good to be true unless you have low self esteem.

Foots under my new train of thought I’d marry the chick and impregnate her ASAP so I could tie mysef into the moneypot, I mean family tree. Then I’d get a cushy executive job just because pops would want me to be able to care for his daughter and grandchild. In other words, I’d do just the same thing a woman would do to me. LOL

By Here Today Gone Tomorrow

July 15, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this

I do plan to read it. I enjoy his books. Did you read his autobiography “What Becomes of the Brokenhearted”. It’s so sad!

By Foots

July 15, 2008 11:39 AM | Link to this

Blue many women who get that “he’s too good to be true” thing in their heads, do so because deep inside, they know that they ain’t about sh!t

I agree, and I’ll expand this to both sexes. I’ve gotten the “You’re too good” line from guys, when what they really wanted to say was “I ain’t bout ish right now and I know it. You’re a good person and I don’t want to mess over you.” I was too happy that those folks exited to the left.

By AmazonRed

July 15, 2008 11:39 AM | Link to this

Many countries in the world still have marriages based on something other than true love. Some world couples grow to love each other, after a marriage based on financial arrangement.

Foots, I don’t disagree with you at all. The thing is, in other country, you know exactly what the process is.

If you are willing to say, “no, I don’t love you, but I will marry you because I want to live lavishly for a couple of years then leave and take half your loot” that’s a whole nother ballgame. If you’re willing to be upfront about your motives, then party on Garth!

It’s unethical to go into the marriage pretending you’re there for the love and not the money if that isn’t the case.

By 900K aka Mr 2008

July 15, 2008 11:41 AM | Link to this

Staceye - Whats really?!!? I can’t say that I’m feeling the Black Mamba thing since Kobe’s a loser and all but do you… I just took a step back from bloggin for a bit is all no reason other than tryin to push efficiency levels up. I see you still got that positive outlook on life & us Men.

By Dan

July 15, 2008 11:41 AM | Link to this

@Truth

Actually, he got married this past wkend in Philly.

A lot of the homies are falling off, and early too. But we wish ‘em luck.

By For Real

July 15, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this

Blog Ladies why do you read E. Lynn Harris book?

Slim I have a big bike and I hope your trunk is big enough to hold it.

Ared If other people didn’t do what you wouldn’t do how would you know what you are doing is not questionable?

By SexyLeggs

July 15, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this

SlimOne, you need to write a book. You are funny and talented!

By Atl Lady

July 15, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

I can always count on Truth to take it there. Giving Truth the Obama/secret muslim fist bump. :-)

By AmazonRed

July 15, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this

For Real - Go ahead and question it then. It’s not hard to determine that being decietful is not an ethical thing, however. Knowing right from wrong is not always a hard thing to determine.

By For Real

July 15, 2008 11:54 AM | Link to this

Ared Are you trying to tell me that you never deceived anyone in your life? Come on now abc errr Ared. You are human right and your work for other humans right. Beides someone will always question something about you.

By Foots

July 15, 2008 11:55 AM | Link to this

Amazon Unethical…maybe. Grey area there. Marriage vows don’t say anything about being “in love”. That’s a feeling. They say “promise to love”. That’s a verb. Many people could “love” in the action sense, especially for benefits involved.

Not saying it’s right….just sayin…LOL

By Cemeeli

July 15, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this

Blue

Ya girl doesn’t drink. I was taken to a bar/restaurant over the weekend. This particular place chosen by the crew to have fun. Later that night there was a bottle of wine delivered to our table/s in honor of the b-day girl. I get antsy and start asking server & looking around to figure the “mystery”. Come to find out we’re sitting in the same area of the giver patio ballers. The young lady…yes LADY, says to me; Sweetheart you i heard you don’t drink and it’s your b/day you have to drink at least one glass of wine…as she points to the wine bucket. She says if you drink one glass & enjoy the evening she will take care our table and guest for the night. Just as lost all i wanna be i thank her adn tell her when the waiter gets back i’ll order a glass. <—- not good observing my surroundings. I forbade my crew to stop telling them that i was a recovering junkie.

2) If my folks get valet parking why when it’s time to go I am looking for my keys and walking to my car that I didn’t drive?

lol NO, I really don’t drink. I told them Can’t take a country girl nowhere. I ain’t used to that. :)

Albino Tiger the Iguana camouflage to there surroundings huh? I wonder why i have lapsed?

*..ask Eagle ‘bout this reptile memory.

Caribou has 3 cubs.

By AmazonRed

July 15, 2008 11:59 AM | Link to this

Off-topic question: - My girl had a disappearing acting pulled on her. They’ve been dating on and off for 5 years. He was being sweet and extra mushy lately. Then he went out of town for a week and he has not returned any of her calls or texts, not even just to say that he’s okay. She says this is not like him.

But she’s dumping him for doing this but we are baffled at what caused this behavior. I don’t know what it could be.

What do y’all think?

By 2 Can Play That Game©

July 15, 2008 11:59 AM | Link to this

Silk, what ya mean when you said, “Pimpin, ain’t nann female too good for you! If y’all mesh well together, then you wife her up, or in my case, boss her up!”….cause folks seem to be gettin me and you mixed up…

“Pimpin, you are not ME!! Granted, you were some odd years ago, but you crossed over to the square side a long time ago! So, for you, when you find that gal that is right/too good/ and all that, then you ride the wheels off that som’bytch (I saw where you stole my word!), and see where it stops; too easy pimpin…as for me, shiiid, if she that good, then I’mma put her on the blade and see just how good she really is! You know I measure worth in dollas and cents, baby!”

Yeah, Silk….we have grown apart…but thanks, dawg.

“Anytime, pimpin…you know whenever you need that slice of “ism”, just holla at me.”

By Silky Smooth

July 15, 2008 12:00 PM | Link to this

“Silk, what ya mean when you said, Pimpin, ain’t nannn female too good for you! If y’all mesh well together, then you wife her up, or in my case, boss her up!….cause folks seem to be gettin me and you mixed up…

Pimpin, you are not ME!! Granted, you were some odd years ago, but you crossed over to the square side a long time ago! So, for