Misadventures in Atlanta

By SlimOne

July 18, 2008 8:22 AM | Link to this

Good Morning

Wise I’m excited about this topic today to see what the menfolk have to say on this. ^5

Ladies, how do you handle the men who are too fast and frisky for your taste? Do you ignore it? Do you ask the guy to fall back a little bit until you feel ready to reciprocate?

When a guy says something a little off the wall I’ll politely tell him we just met or say something to let him know i didnt appreciate that. I recall meeting someone at Club Quick Trip and in the first conversation he was asking me to come spend the night because he didn’t want to sleep alone. That was a major turn off, MAJOR. Needless to say that didn’t last very long. Then i ended up seeing him at the carwash and of course he came to ask the dreaded question of why I didn’t call him anymore. I straight up told him I thought his behavior was inappropriate and he shrugged it off like he was just playing. He must’ve forgot how he was begging me to come over and that he wouldn’t do anything crazy blah blah blah. CREEPY

By Raqi

July 18, 2008 8:35 AM | Link to this

Moving too fast can definitely be a turn off. Even if I had already decided in my mind that I would like to see him born day nekkid, him pressing the issue too soon and too fast insured it never happens.

Guys take your lead from your woman of interest. She will let you know when the time is right.

By Raqi

July 18, 2008 8:38 AM | Link to this

A general rule for me was do not make reference to any of my below the neck parts that I have not allowed you to touch yet.

By ATL Guy

July 18, 2008 8:38 AM | Link to this

Well its always the question…when do you move in on a good thing?

I don’t know, depends on the girl I’m with. Some take it faster than others. Regardless, if you’re not forcing it and actually showing respect…can’t go wrong.

If you take it too slow, you’ll slide right into friend zone with some people…then again, sometimes the time will increase anticipation.

Again, all depends on the situation or the person…everyone is different, just have to feel it out

By Daisy

July 18, 2008 8:43 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone.

My scrambled eggs topped with feta cheese were so scrummy delicious this morning. Off to my morning run now.

Toody loo everyone. Stay true to yourself.

By DreamsMaterialize

July 18, 2008 8:45 AM | Link to this

Hey Everyone Just popped in to holla at everyone real quick. I’ll just say that USUALLY, it’s pretty obvious when to make the move and when not to, but my Bat Senses have been tricked before. Aggressive/non-aggressive women both get love from me. I can appreciate both.

By SlimOne

July 18, 2008 8:46 AM | Link to this

Another thing I dislike is when you’re out somewhere and a dude is attempting to engage in conversation with me….I hate when they try to put their hands around my waist. ARGGGGH! There is a certain thing such as intimate space, and if we ain’t cool like that, then keep your hands to yourself. When they do this, I normally twist in such a way as to get out of their grasp, walk away and leave them standing there with their arm still looking like they are putting their arm around an imaginary person. LOLOL!

In dating I know the guy will throw his rod out there to see if you bite on a particular comment or whatnot…but when the line comes back empty, is when i think the guy should fall back. Don’t keep trying to find other ways to infiltrate the lines of security to get into the fortress.

By Rell

July 18, 2008 8:47 AM | Link to this

ok folks are we serious…..if the man not giving you the warm fuzzies then you not feeling him period….if you over the age of 25 then this right here is a non issue…..everytime is the right time….lets get that out….now the process by which you get there is where the fun is….again women make that a focus upfront so men see that has a challenge…..make the challenge different…like your time….then he will stick all energy into getting more of your time versus your arse…its simple…men are

those two points alone are golden ladies….make the goal different…

By Wonder boy

July 18, 2008 8:53 AM | Link to this

Here’s an idea … why don’t you tell us what you want… if you haven’t figured it out yet — we are clueless. We’re just guessing out there ladies and a little help would be greatly appreciated.

By Wonder boy

July 18, 2008 8:55 AM | Link to this

Here’s an idea … why don’t you tell us what you want… if you haven’t figured it out yet — we are clueless. We’re just guessing out there ladies and a little help would be greatly appreciated.

By Raqi

July 18, 2008 8:56 AM | Link to this

There was this one guy I met in the earlier part of the day and we spoke on the phone later that evening. The evening went so well he called the next day. But he totally lost out when he tried to convince me that I as a single mother was lonely. And how I needed a man in my bed to do this, that and the other.

His fierce attempt to make me say I was lonely when I wasn’t was the total turn off. You at that time he could have probably gotten somewhere because his “verbal” bedside manner was pretty slick. But he talked himself out of it.

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

July 18, 2008 8:57 AM | Link to this

Good morning Good People, Raqi and ATL Guy pretty much summed it up for me. I go with the flow of things. If I’m feeling him I react since it’s natural, if not then I decline. I’ve been called agressive a time or two but it’s only when I’m feeling naughty.LOL

By johnnyD

July 18, 2008 8:59 AM | Link to this

Ladies, their is a direct correlation between how fast we can go and how big our checkbook is. The larger the checkbook the quicker things get going. The smaller the checkbook the harder you have to work. Fellas get your money right and you will skip to the front of the line if you know what I mean.

By Rell

July 18, 2008 9:01 AM | Link to this

@Wonder boy….dude dont even bother…half of what comes out there mouth is never what they end up with..this is just idle chatter…if appel to her sense of style(your dress)…body in some form of shape….smell…conversation…meaning you not focusing on her beauty..or assets then you good….all this i dont touch when i am in the club ish is nonsense….wonder boy blaze your own trail and let the ladies fall in line not the other way around..thats the problem now…stand up to pee my brother!!

By AmazonRed

July 18, 2008 9:01 AM | Link to this

Happy Friday All! WiseDiva great job on the topics this week.

DreamsMaterialize, good to see you pop in! Hope all is well.

By Cori

July 18, 2008 9:04 AM | Link to this

I have dated a women who was sexually aggressive, but she didn’t get that way until we saw each other everyday for 3 months. I wish I more women wanted that kind of togetherness. Ladies nowing what you want will send the guy a consistent message, but if he is a full himself and thats not your type just leave him alone. Believe it or not we men meet some ladies that don’t like either. I’ll holla!!

By The New Guy Here

July 18, 2008 9:06 AM | Link to this

In response to the question posed, yes, I think about the timing, and my usual response is to delay or defer it another month or two, beyond whatever time has already passed.

Perhaps I am wired odd, but, if i am seriously dating someone, not just a casual flirtation, I want to get to know the person for who they are; I want the emotional and mental stimulation, and moving too fast physically, can really screw that up.

Physical stimulation is easy as men are visual and i am no exception (women have aftermarket parts installed all the time to enhance the visual presentation). Finding a down to earth lady without plastic add ons, and with a intriguing pinch of “devil spice” has been my challenge. The number of women who can appreciate the efforts of an old school gentleman, and are willing to stimulate the imagination, over the long term, seems to be minimal in this city.

By Rell

July 18, 2008 9:07 AM | Link to this

@johnnyd….cosign…only for american women…i have ran into a couple of foriegn women lately and there take on the black man/women in america is eye opening….they dont understand the whole of obession with having stuff….alot of things…it was just interesting to get and outsiders take on us….

By mytwocents

July 18, 2008 9:08 AM | Link to this

FINESSE, TIMING, I’ll add WORDING… WD maybe you should add a link to dictionary.com for the lost souls, not that enough of ‘em know they’re lost.

Half of the super specific questions bout how u likey when u likey what u likey could be inferred when you converse enough as you build up to that anyway. Racier convo & textsex once on a certain level is much better r’cd- maybe even initiated. I have less respect and patience for the intentionally obtuse who “don’t know why ” I took offense then try to flip the script. Calm down.

By ATL Guy

July 18, 2008 9:08 AM | Link to this

I know this girl I’ve been friend’s with since High School. We don’t really hangout but when mutual friends come into Atlanta, we cross paths. She’s really flirty / touchy feely. I’m a guy saying it can be kind of too much or annoying. Females believe it or not, being TOO aggressive can kind of hurt you too.

I mean…I’ll be real, I like a bit of a challenge or chase. Really like a girl who’s so confident with herself where she doesn’t have to TRY that hard.

By Cori

July 18, 2008 9:08 AM | Link to this

I have dated a women who was sexually aggressive, but she didn’t get that way until we saw each other everyday for 3 months. I wish I more women wanted that kind of togetherness. Ladies nowing what you want will send the guy a consistent message, but if he is full himself and thats not your type just leave him alone. Believe it or not we men meet some ladies that don’t like either. I’ll holla!!

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

July 18, 2008 9:10 AM | Link to this

Then he sends me a text message referring to my lovely lips and how they would make a lollipop happy. Wisethat comment didn’t make you chuckle just a little bit? I’ve been out on dates with guys who send me messages, can’t say it was a turn on or a turn off but for the most part they did make me laugh or smile depending on the message.

By AmazonRed

July 18, 2008 9:12 AM | Link to this

Ladies, how do you handle the men who are too fast and frisky for your taste?

I usually just give em the “gas face.” LOL

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

July 18, 2008 9:14 AM | Link to this

Welcome to Atlanta The New Guy Here

By QC

July 18, 2008 9:19 AM | Link to this

Morning Bloggers I hope you all have a great day/weekend!

By SlimOne

July 18, 2008 9:20 AM | Link to this

ATL Guy Really like a girl who’s so confident with herself where she doesn’t have to TRY that hard. I’ve seen this first hand (cuz I like to ppl watch) and you’re right, Desperation or anything resembling desperation is not a good look.

By Raqi

July 18, 2008 9:22 AM | Link to this

The thing about human nature is we have a body language that is beyond our control. It automatically reacts in every thing that we do. Like when you see or hear something amusing and you try not to smile but it just seeps out. You can’t hold it back.

The same is true for male to female interactions. The body will respond to what it likes and dislikes. Whether it’s a raised brow grin combo in admiration or just a step backwards when someone invades your personal space. Most of the time we react before we have a chance to consciously think it.

Heck I have been with my husband for seven and his human nature let’s me know where he stands at the time.
When I am talking him up I know exactly when to move in for the kiss and that good stuff. The same the other way around.

With all the men that I have dated and/or been in a relationship with very few of them paid attention to the body language.

By East Point's Own

July 18, 2008 9:25 AM | Link to this

I’m back (for those who have been here long enough to remember) I can blog now since I am temporarily between jobs… LoL

But this is a no-win situation for us guys… It all depends upon the day of the week and the hour of the day. BUt really it depends who the guy is… there is some man who can say or do the right thing and a woman will be ready on day 1, and another man might take 2 weeks, and another man might take 2 months to get some action…

Aside from that, each lady is different some women lose interest and like someone said put dudes in the friend zone if we don’t make a move in a week or two, and other women will think we are a dog if we try to get them in bed after 2 months… women should have a disclaimer about when they wnat to have sex with each guy they date.. LoL and the disclaimer should be a legal document.. cause we all know women are good at saying things they don’t really mean.

By East Point's Own

July 18, 2008 9:27 AM | Link to this

I’m back (for those who have been here long enough to remember) I can blog now since I am temporarily between jobs… LoL

But this is a no-win situation for us guys… It all depends upon the day of the week and the hour of the day. BUt really it depends who the guy is… there is some man who can say or do the right thing and a woman will be ready on day 1, and another man might take 2 weeks, and another man might take 2 months to get some action…

Aside from that, each lady is different some women lose interest and like someone said put dudes in the friend zone if we don’t make a move in a week or two, and other women will think we are a dog if we try to get them in bed after 2 months… women should have a disclaimer about when they want to have sex with each guy they date.. LoL and the disclaimer should be a legal document.. cause we all know women are good at saying things they don’t really mean.

By ATL Guy

July 18, 2008 9:29 AM | Link to this

SlimOne yeah I feel ya. I mean there is nothing sexier than a self confident female that can be themselves without having to force it. People Watching is kind of funny. Some are just so socially awkward, its ridiculous.

By John

July 18, 2008 9:30 AM | Link to this

Way back when (early ‘80’s) I mostly dated girls I already knew, so things went quick. Sometimes on the first date, usally on the second.

By mytwocents

July 18, 2008 9:30 AM | Link to this

johnny Stop. Leading. With. Your. Checkbook! Then she won’t have it to follow. Dare to dangle a different carrot- wit? Charm? Whateva you’re workin with and she’ll follow that. But think first bout who you’d like to attract. Same goes for women on the scene w/ tatas & azz out. Can’t be too bitter bout the purely sexual advances tho we have a right to wear whateva we want. At some point you gotta reflect on how 2 + 2 = 4.

By East Point's Own

July 18, 2008 9:31 AM | Link to this

Raqi WHat about those times when a woman’s body language is saying “I want you” but her mouth is saying “slow down playa”???

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

July 18, 2008 9:31 AM | Link to this

TGIF!! Morning All!

Wassup DreamsMaterialize, hit me on email when you get a sec.

Hey Rell, how are you man.

SlimOne LMAO @ Club QuikTrip! I am starting to think that is the case for all QTs.

BRB…..gotta make a pepsi run

By AmazonRed

July 18, 2008 9:32 AM | Link to this

I think guys like to test women to see how far they can go and what they can get away with. I try not to take them moving too fast to be offensive…at first. I’ll let you off with a warning.

Continuing to do it after I’ve expressed my discomfort is grounds to get a cuss out or a dial tone in your ear.

By Raqi

July 18, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this

Believe it or not the timing of your move is not what gets you placed in the friend zone. However your move itself can get you there faster.

By Rell

July 18, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this

@mo…very well lady…how are you

By Demi

July 18, 2008 9:38 AM | Link to this

I put your picture on my mirror, Start to blush when somebody say’s your name In my Stomach theirs a pain See you walking my direction I go the other way I start to stutter when i Speak Try to stand but my knee’s go weak What happening to me in the dark can you tell me what it means I lay my head on my pillow got me Staring out the window Wish on a star for a sign Its the Reason why

By East Point's Own

July 18, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this

Raqi Well I have had personal experience with trying to be the “gentleman” and taking things slow and on 2 separate occasions I was told that the woman thought I was not sexually interested since I did not try to get at her in the first week or 2. This is no longer a problem… but it has happened and still for guys we have to either take a shot early and if it does not work back down, or run the risk of a woman thinking we don’t want to become sexual with them. My thing is that unless a woman tells us what she wants we can’t be faulted for trying (the first time)if the moment seems right.

By Bit-O-Hunny

July 18, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this

Happy Friday Folks…yes indeed, the age old question of when is too soon. Its been my experience that men that really, really like me and want a relationship will allow me to “lead” or take the “initiative” to advance sex b/c they don’t want to risk forcing the issue or just doing anything that will potentially turn me off.

Conversely there are the guys that are sexually aggressive and that usually turns me off completely.

I’m a total mind phuck, get me mentally and the rest will follow.

By ATL Guy

July 18, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this

My ex always said that on our first date…we went out around 6pm…then I dropped her off at her place around 11pm. She said the fact that I dropped her off around 11pm and didn’t keep her out all night…she really respected that. I never even thought about it that way. We dated for 7 months but she said that set off a really good impression…so FYI, subtle things go a long way with chicks

I want to join the QT Club!!! Taquitos, Hot Dogs, 40oz brown paper bag Malt Beer! I’m club president baby! QT is the best gas station in the country, I don’t care what anyone says…

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

July 18, 2008 9:45 AM | Link to this

Rell working hard and not getting paid enough!! LOL! Im good though man, sorry to have been incognegro.

Raqi I agree with your 9:37

By Jane

July 18, 2008 9:49 AM | Link to this

East Point’s Own I agree that it’s possible to be put into the friend zone by a woman if it moves too slowly, but I always wonder why people think the friend zone is such a bad thing. Can’t that be reversed? I know plenty of couples that were friends for a really really long time before they finally got together, but that chemistry was always there, waiting for the right time. Anyway, that was a little off-topic but I felt like that perspective was important to note….

The New Guy Here Perhaps I am wired odd, but, if i am seriously dating someone, not just a casual flirtation, I want to get to know the person for who they are; I want the emotional and mental stimulation, and moving too fast physically, can really screw that up. I agree. Once you sleep with someone too quickly, there is that feeling like you think you should know everything about this other person that you just slept with, so you get all clingy and that fake-intimacy kicks in. A good rule of thumb is never do anything you’re even the slightest bit uncomfortable with.

And LMAO to this comment: Physical stimulation is easy as men are visual and i am no exception (women have aftermarket parts installed all the time to enhance the visual presentation). The last time I heard someone say “aftermarket parts” was when my dad was helping me with a car alarm…haahahaha

By Binford2K8

July 18, 2008 9:50 AM | Link to this

I’m notorious for being the polar opposite of a fast mover. In fact, I’ve had the aggressive woman who I’ve literally had to push off of me. That ruined any chance of a relationship right there.

When sex is offered so early by a woman, a man really has to consider why and how many times she has done it before.

At this stage in life, I want someone who wants me for me, and not just for something physical (oh, this so sounds like a chick). Depending how long it has been, I may take up the sex - but I know there won’t be a chance in hell for a relationship.

By johnnyD

July 18, 2008 9:50 AM | Link to this

How can you not lead with your checkbook when you date? You have to take a lady out to dinner, movie, show, club, trip or sporting event. I do not expect my date to pick up the tab when I take her out as I am a gentleman. I am too seasoned for a blockbuster night.

By Rell

July 18, 2008 9:52 AM | Link to this

fellas…ladies want the same thing we want…they want there pinkberry pushed often…so dont fall for the hype about it is too soon…..just dont focus on it and she will ask you what is up….women have been conditioned to think that they rule thru the pinkberry…..

By SlimOne

July 18, 2008 9:52 AM | Link to this

johnny & My2 I never fully understood chicks giving up all the goodies to dudes with big $$ any faster than a dude with a free checking account and a coin jar made out of an old coffee can. I mean, just cuz a dude might be full of greenbacks, don’t mean if you give up the azz that you’re getting any of the money…UNLESS he went through some escort service to meet you. All you get to say to your friends is…

Golddigger: Hey girl! You won’t guess who i met last night.

Friend: Girl who? Is it somebody famous?

GD: Naw girl but he should be as much money he’s worth.

Friend: Oh really! I’m so jealous. So tell me what happened.

GD: Oohh I’m so embarassed but the question should be what DIDN’T I do. I gave it allll up girl!

Friend: WHAT? You did all that on the first night?

GD: Gurrrrl, I couldn’t help myself. He looked like money. Smelled like money…even flucked like money.

Friend: So now what?

GD: Um..well we really didn’t get a chance to talk much afterwards. He said he had a very important business meeting on Mars later on today, and he needed to rest up for his long flight, so I had to leave. Gurrrlll, I think this could be the one.

By The Truth

July 18, 2008 9:53 AM | Link to this

Welcome newbies.

On topic: Things don’t start popping until you let a woman know you want some azz. If you want it, let her know in no uncertain terms. Don’t consider her schedule. Say you want it. It let’s her know what you’re here for and if it’s not what she wants she’ll let you know and you can mosey down the road.

These chicks try to operate as if their booty is the prize. If you go by her schedule it is. Thing is some other cat rang her bell just because his package was more appealling so she’s running game. Plant the seed and if she bucks change her out when you change your underwear.

Sexually aggressive women can be a turn off. One chick came by the house and as soon as she got in the door I guess she felt this was somewhere she could get comfortable. She cut to the chase and flat out asked me if I wanted some azz. She was suspect based on previous conversations so I “opted out” and that didn’t go over well. The sad part was she asked about 10 times (literally). I’m like, naw, I’m going to watch my truck engine cool down. I’ll get with you later.

JohnnyD you ain’t kidding about the checkbook. It speeds the whole process up like Warp Speed. Just releases that inner hoe in em all. LOL

By AmazonRed

July 18, 2008 9:56 AM | Link to this

I’m like, naw, I’m going to watch my truck engine cool down. I’ll get with you later.

Ah HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

By lovelyliz

July 18, 2008 9:57 AM | Link to this

I am one of those women who is a bit of a prude, but not naïve, and I don’t tease. Teasing a man is so high school and something that any woman over the age of 20 should be embarrassed to do.

That said

I went on a date with a man recommended by someone at his church as a sweet, kind man. He wanted to meet me at a pizza buffet, which is not my ideal date place, but I was game. This guy was one of those decent, well-mannered people and things went well. The conversation was mostly about ordinary stuff, nothing racy or unusual. My date offered to drop me off at my apartment complex saving me the cab fare and I agreed. We pulled into the very public parking lot and before I could get my seat belt off, he had his hands all over parts of my body when he had been given no permission, directly or subliminally, to do so. I pushed him off and then he suggested that he come up to my place to check it out. I can only imagine what “it” was that he thought he would be checking on. I got out of that car fast and ran into my building. Luckily he didn’t know my apartment # and I got into the elevator before he could remove the dumbfounded look on his face and get out to follow me.

What is it with men described as good Christians ( or any other religion I suppose) who think that after 30 minutes of knowing you, they have permission, nay the right and invitation, to get so frisky?

Is frisky the new way of describing and easy lay?

By East Point's Own

July 18, 2008 9:58 AM | Link to this

Jane Anything is possible, yes I am sure some man somewhere on Earth has come out of the friend zone, but it is not a frequent occurrence. Many women have this wall up where they don’t even see the good dating traits of their male friends. Many women just flat out don’t give their male friends a chance to date them. So more often than not once you are a friend you either have to accept that role and be happy knowing it will never be more, or you have to cut ties and move on with life. Being friends is cool if both parties agree to it, but 9 times out of ten the guy never wanted to be a friend like that so its not gonna work.

By Blue Kolla

July 18, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

What up Blog…

Guys, do you ever think about the timing of making your move?

I’m studying the female because she’ll definitely let you know what’s up.

If you are interested in someone, do you try to make the dirty talk appropriate for how things are going?

The fun part is making dirty talk sound clean.

Have you ever dated a woman who was sexually aggressive?

Yeap.

Did she come on strong with the frisky behavior?

Not over the top, but yes.

Was it a turn-off or turn-on?

That was rhetorical, right?

QC What up. ;)

Where is Cee at?

By AmazonRed

July 18, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

And LMAO @ the men who say to not pay attention to a woman’s schedule. It sounds like some of ya’ll are one offended chick away from catching a case!

By Wise Diva

July 18, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this

Morning folks! hey MLL! You know the text was so utterly ill timed, I can’t even tell you. He went from calling me a selfish woman who wants men to kiss my azz to telling me I had lovely lips that would make a lollipop happy. So, admittedly, I had issues with him already, before the text, LOL, that just did not help matters, whatsoever.

RELL, you sound as if we should not rule our bodies. It is our body, we choose to share it when we want to, just as you do. Why would that be a problem for a guy unless that is all he wants in the first place?

By Raqi

July 18, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this

The thing about this Friend Zone is some people were befriended for that purpose to be a friend.

The difference that I have noted between men and women is men usually will not befriend a woman that he will at least consider having sex with. Even if he never tries he have or will at sometime think about. There is always the possibility.

But we women are different. We will make friends with men that we only want to be friends with and have never and will never have the slightest sexual attraction too.

So while men see it as an offense it is what it is.

One of the biggest flaws that men have is assuming every woman that gives them the time of day do so initially wanting to bed him and them placing him in the zone. You were already there before you even met.

By East Point's Own

July 18, 2008 10:05 AM | Link to this

Truth I agree with you on the random chick you are just trying to bone, your method works great for them, but for a woman you want to try to have a relationship you can’t be quite so cold… this is where things get tricky…

By ATL Guy

July 18, 2008 10:10 AM | Link to this

Johnny you should just take her to Phipps Plaza and have her pick out diamonds…that will speed things up even faster since leading with the checkbook is your only Game

By Raqi

July 18, 2008 10:13 AM | Link to this

Slim I ask the same question. Does a rich dizzle supposedly come with a little extra kick that an average dizzle don’t?

Unless you are an icon and the woman is aiming for the big CS payoff, how much money in your account does not matter if sex is all she is into you for.

So sorry to burst you bubbles guys. It ain’t your lack of finances that is getting the average dudes looked over for an equally average dude.

By What?

July 18, 2008 10:13 AM | Link to this

You date for two weeks, then get offended when he sends you a message about your lips? Hopefully this guy has moved on to a normal person.

By AmazonRed

July 18, 2008 10:14 AM | Link to this

Fellas get your money right and you will skip to the front of the line if you know what I mean.

Yeah…this also works if you are tall and extremely good looking too… :-|

By SexyLeggs

July 18, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this

…naw, going to watch my truck engine cool down. That’s funny.

Lovelyliz, your date was an IDIOT. However, a lot of men will try to see if they can score on the first date, third or fifth date. The date number doesn’t matter. What matters is if he gets in and he won’t know unless he tries. It’s up to the woman to either pimp slap his dumba$$ or very nicely put him in his place if she’s offended. It goes both ways. There are a lot of agressive women out there as well. In Truth’s case, I cannot imagine a woman asking a man 10x to sample her honeypot.

Hello Rell.

By M.

July 18, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

@SlimOne

You are crazy….I had to laugh at that LOL…Is that how it really goes?

By Wise Diva

July 18, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

hey East Point’s Own! It’s good to see/read you again :)

Welcome to our new commenters, too! New Guy Here, thanks for weighing in, keep it coming!

By East Point's Own

July 18, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

* Raqi* LOL I agree and I know full well that upon meeting a guy women for the most part have placed him in a particular bucket… but the problem is that most women recognize that men who approach them are trying to holla… I have much more respect for the women who after a date or during a date or while chatting on the phone let a guy know if she is not feeling anything even close to a relationship or even a romp in the sack. Some women don’t give a guy a clue that she is not feeling him until he makes his move to get her in bed or until she has to for one of many reasons. We should just be up front and not waste each other’s time. In the rare event that a man approaches a woman strickly to be a friend I am sure it will be made clear(if this has ever happened in the history of the world).

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

July 18, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this

Understand Wise that would be a turn off too! You know some men don’t know how to act and end up putting their foot in their mouth. LOL

By Rell

July 18, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this

@lovlyliz….chrisitian men like poo see too…..lol…come on

ladies next time your friend wants to hook you up and she describes the man like this

a sweet, kind man

that means he is horny and looking to score….lol

run

@diva…you can rule your body…thats not my point….my point is change the focus….thats my point….and again women like sex just like men…so what is the point of hiding if you want something…like truth said let them know..

By The Truth

July 18, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

Ared what a dude needs to know is if a chick is naturally leaning his way or not. If she’s feeling you and you say something suggestive she’ll go along with it. If not you can continue to date her in hopes her feelings will change but isn’t that like buying azz. Like saying “I’ll just keep throwing my money at her till she realizes I’m cool”. That’s for losers.

Let her know what you want and she can decide if thats ok. If she balks stop calling her until she’s had time to reconsider her position and she calls you back.

If a chick puts you in the friend zone and you don’t want to be there and you stay you’re a bytch. We aren’t going to sit around and talk about your man when I want some azz. I told you up front what I was here for so if that’s not happening nothings happening.

2tatas dudes with money don’t have to lead with it. It’s the broke dude that has to. Rich cat can just be who he is and you’ll notice. A chick has a choice, hang with rich dude at his spot or hang with with joe blow over his apartment and watch his gold fish swim around in that little azz bowl. Money puts alot of women into “sport fugging” mode. That can override whatever else she may have going on. LOL

By ATL Guy

July 18, 2008 10:22 AM | Link to this

You’re telling me that if I take you to the drive thru Taco Bell … you’re going to bypass my winning personality!?!? I’ll keep my chalupa da.mnnit! You don’t get it Either!

By SlimOne

July 18, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this

Truth These chicks try to operate as if their booty is the prize. If you go by her schedule it is. We aren’t discussing if we think our Puddy is Gold/Platinum. We never denied wanting to get butt nekked and play cops-n-robbers around the house. The issue is WHEN is it appropriate to make an advancement or sexual comment to someone you’re just getting to know. Personally, I’d like to know if the value of the P goes down after a GRAY hair pops up??

Slim now placing hair foil on pub with a plastic shower cap over the CT trying to dye the infiltrator back to its original state

BlueK The fun part is making dirty talk sound clean LOLOL Good one, I likey likey.

By Raqi

July 18, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this

The EPO is if a woman spends an substantial amount of time talking to a man he automatically assumes she is interested. Heck they can have just spent the last 30 minutes talking about war and genicide in third world countries. And for some weird blow of the wind he will walk away interpreting that there is a shortage of men and she must most definitely want him.

By Wise Diva

July 18, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this

so what focus of MINE needs to be changed? I wasn’t focusing on it, HE was, so how is that ruling my sasha unreasonably?

By AmazonRed

July 18, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this

Let her know what you want and she can decide if thats ok. If she balks stop calling her until she’s had time to reconsider her position and she calls you back.

Truth - I have no problem with this.

By LisaK

July 18, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this

But this is a no-win situation for us guys… It all depends upon the day of the week and the hour of the day. BUt really it depends who the guy is… there is some man who can say or do the right thing and a woman will be ready on day 1, and another man might take 2 weeks, and another man might take 2 months to get some action…

true, although many women will not admit it.

By lovelyliz

July 18, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this

By MLL(mammalongleggs) ladies next time your friend wants to hook you up and she describes the man like this

a sweet, kind man

that means he is horny and looking to score….lol

So true

By Tazzee

July 18, 2008 10:34 AM | Link to this

Personally I’m turned off by a guy that gets to the sex talk too soon. But like ARed I’ll give him a warning the first time and usually a guy will turn it down.

So I guess what the fellas are saying is I should say something like this upon meeting a dude:

“I think you’re attractive enough to have sex, what you do from here on out will determine if that ever happens”

By East Point's Own

July 18, 2008 10:34 AM | Link to this

Wise Diva Hello, its been a while but I have been reading almost daily… just could not reply at work…

Rich vs broke Its not about being rich but we all know that women for the most part want a man who can provide security. When many women see that a man appears to have money they equate that with security. I have dated several women who were tepid for weeks while we dated. I am the type of guy who wears designer clothes but you can’t tell because the designer’s name is not plastered all over the outside of the garments, I drive an American non luxury car, and I am a cool guy in general. So imagine that I date a woman for 2 weeks-3 weeks and I pick her up from her house, I have been all in her crib all around the bedroom, living room, etc… and nothing. But as soon as I take this same chick to my crib for the first time… why do the clothes drop? Is this not a type of “gold digger”? If a woman gives up the draws when she thinks she has found the security blanket why is this not at least passive gold digging?

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

July 18, 2008 10:35 AM | Link to this

* For every man seeking others only for sex there is a woman who does the same* @ Rell

By SlimOne

July 18, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this

M. Lol, I’m not exactly sure how it really goes but i guess it’s something along those lines.

By mytwocents

July 18, 2008 10:37 AM | Link to this

johnny Nice to know you’re well sessoned! Three’s a differnce in spending a bit in attempting to be a gentleman and making it the focus, which some guys do. Your style is to not let her pick up the tab then you feel like a sponsor. Well you should cuz ya treating yourself like one. I’m just sayin give her some other stimuli to respond to so you’ll be more sure of what your draw is. Beyond your wallet. Otherwise many women get turned off cuz it seems like you’re tryna buy them and/or ya got nothing else. Now if monetary is the main support you care to offer, did u check out yesterday’s topic?

By LisaK

July 18, 2008 10:38 AM | Link to this

I’m going to watch my truck engine cool down. I’ll get with you later.

LOL! that’s a NO thank you in no uncertain terms.

By Raqi

July 18, 2008 10:40 AM | Link to this

These chicks try to operate as if their booty is the prize

LOL Slim listening to some of the comments from men who are obviously living in disdain leads us to believe they are the ones putting great value on it. It’s ours to give and ours to keep.

I mean listen to ‘em.

By East Point's Own

July 18, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this

Raqi well that is a problem.. a dude like that has issues….LoL BUt its no different than a woman who thinks you are now practically engaged after 1 good night of horizontal fun.
Some folks just take any little positive sign and blow it out of proportion.

By M.

July 18, 2008 10:42 AM | Link to this

@SlimOne

That is crazy. I guess the guys go somewhat like that but I think they look for an escape once the deed is done. This dude I indirectly knew took this girl out on a date and I guess she started talking crazy, left her right at the table once the bill came…Dating is alot to handle

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

July 18, 2008 10:44 AM | Link to this

Sorry bout that, it should’ve read women who does the same

By Raqi

July 18, 2008 10:47 AM | Link to this

Rich shmitch. Walk into your local Walmart and you will see a whole slue of average dudes with a woman by his side. Whether they are ultra attractive dwindling down to downright homely, I will bet you they are sexing it up just as much or more so than the Pinkett-Smiths and the Jolie-Pitts.

Get with who you belong with.

By Atl Lady

July 18, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

East Point When you invite a woman to your place, is it clean and/or well decorated? Do you make her feel at home? I think those qualities are what makes the panties drop. I have known some men that you can tell that they rarely clean or did just enough for you to sit down and maybe go to the bathroom. Your home is a reflection of who you are.

By SlimOne

July 18, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this

Raqi listening to some of the comments from men who are obviously living in disdain leads us to believe they are the ones putting great value on it I totally agree with you. I think i’m going to let this play on the big flat screen. Care to join me for some Smoothies and Chex Mix? lol

Anybody know how long I need to leave this dye on here? Its starting to burn a lil. lol

By The Truth

July 18, 2008 10:53 AM | Link to this

East Point but for a woman you want to try to have a relationship you can’t be quite so cold… this is where things get tricky… Not true. A woman that I want to have a long term relationship is going to have to perform too so lets establish this upfront. The fact that I care for her doesn’t give her Carte Blanche to dictate when things go down. She is going to perform because she expects me to perform. I think this is where alot of dudes wind up with women that don’t perform. They give them a pass because she’s “special”. She may be but I put my feelings aside and enforce the standard. If we have six kids and a great life but I can’t get some azz it’s time for problem solving mode. What’s going on? what can we do to remedy this? Nothing, ok I’m out. LOL This shyt’s a wrap. What I “feel” has nothing to do with her doing her job.

It’s so much easier to set your mark early and enforce it then try to wiggle in and then set a standard later. My .02

It really boils down to this. If a chick naturally leans toward you you can do damn near whatever you want. If she claims she needs time it’s because we aren’t the one and she needs time to adjust to how repulsive we are. LOL She’s trying to convince herself that you could be the one. five years down the road the chick that thought you was it will still think that and the chick that was trying to figure it out will still be doing that too.

By LisaK

July 18, 2008 10:53 AM | Link to this

*So I guess what the fellas are saying is I should say something like this upon meeting a dude:

“I think you’re attractive enough to have sex, what you do from here on out will determine if that ever happens”*

I’ve been told by a few men that women should know that when a man approaches her, it’s because he’s attracted to something about her physical appearance and if she’s not interested in pursuing anything on at least a physical level, she should not bother to exchange contact information with him.

By Atlanta Geek

July 18, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this

Funny when people describe chasing after rich dudes. Most of those guys have a negative net worth and loans/mortgages out the wazzoo. I could go decades without working based on my savings, but no one would know if they judged me by my car and house.

If my conservative nature means I don’t get laid as much, I can still sleep well at night.

By KP (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

July 18, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this

Good morning bloggers…KP is lurking!

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

July 18, 2008 11:00 AM | Link to this

Good Lord Wise have you been living my life???

I have mentioned this on the blog quite often when I say I do not invite guys to my crib or go to theirs. For some reason being alone with a guy signals his little brain that you want to do him! A guy trying to make a move on me is the biggest turn off!!! I hate when they think after a few dates that now I want to receive d*ck pics and dirty texts! That is the sure fire way for me to curse you out and tell you never to contact me again. They rush to get the booty but stall to get into a relationship! That is very AZZ-Backwards! If I do go out with a guy..it is only in a public place. The closest you get to my crib is the property pools or gardens. It’s a shame that you have to go that route. It would be cool to chill at the house sometimes (Especially in the winter) but the horndogs can’t be trusted!

Rell if the man not giving you the warm fuzzies then you not feeling him period not true bruh! Warm fuzzies is all good! But it takes more than that for me have sex with a dude. Women…unlike men are not ruled by their sex organs! I need to at least know your last name and important info about you! Hey do you even take the time to find out somebody’s STD status? There is a rise in Herpes infections. There are people with it that are NOT in outbreak mode that are having sex with people and not letting them know. So you don’t even get to say yea or nay on whether you wnat to take that risk or not! I’m sorry…I do not want the “warm fuzzies” leading me to the “itchy crotch”!

JohnnyD not even woman can be bought! I’m not sleeping with your money..I’m sleeping with you. So if your money is pretty and you are not…sorry bruh! It’s not happening!

ARED Ladies, how do you handle the men who are too fast and frisky for your taste? I remind them of where I am from and how quickly they can get cut! They then start to wonder where I got my blade hidden and back off! LOL

Jane I agree! What is so bad abut being friends first? I think you will have a better turn out if you are. You already know the person so you will be more comfortable around them…then things will happen naturally. Not to mention getting to know the person takes the guessing out of it. When I am comfortable with a guy I am a different person. How many dudes jump to have sex and oops an accident happens and now you find out throght the pregancy that she is a crazy b*tch with no goals and now you just made sure she’d have a check coming in because you knocked her up? But had you taken the time to get to know her past her representative stage you would have found that out and spared yourself the crazy baby mama drama!

**Glad to have you back Binford! I’m sorry, I cheatd on you with ATL Guy!! LOL

Truth so what you’re saying is…if I do not want a guy to make a move on me I should offer him azz as soon as he gets my number? Heyyyy…I’ve been going about it all wrong! Thanks! LOL

Wise He went from calling me a selfish woman who wants men to kiss my azz to telling me I had lovely lips that would make a lollipop happy You met Bipolar Barbie’s twin brother….bipolar Bobby!

What? You date for two weeks, then get offended when he sends you a message about your lips? Hopefully this guy has moved on to a normal person Going out with a girl for 2 weeks does not give you the right to speak sexually of her lips. you can compliment her by saying the are nice. But otherwise that is downright disrespectful! Would you want somebody to treat a female family member of yours like that? I hope you never have a daughter!

Truth the booty must be a prize because it seems that almost every dude is out to get it! So why try to act like its no big deal? If not then stop lying, cheating and scheming to get it! It’s so funny and so male typical to try to downplay something’s importance through their lips but in the mind it is the key focus!

By atltwen

July 18, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this

How is the pot going to call the kettle black?

Women can be just as aggressive as men!

I went out with female 2 months ago who couldn’t keep her hands from up my jean shorts! She started that on only 2nd date and never stopped, even after I told her it made me uncomfortable.

You know what she did next? 2 weeks later, I visited her and she tells me she has “no panties on”. And she actually did not. Mind you, we both had verbal understanding we were just getting to know each.

How about an encore shall we. A week later she comes out of the bathroom naked after taking a shower and literally throws herself on me!

Please, women, at times, act no different than men!

By Wise Diva

July 18, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this

Crackin up at Bipolar Bobby!! Staceye, you are a mess, LOL

LisaK, (hey!), you are right many women don’t openly admit it. I don’t think I did when I was in the stick and move phase either, LOL. Only my girls knew about it.

You know, I have noticed though, that when the women even JOKE about it on this here blog? She is called all kinds of hoes/sluts. Not that their opinions matter that much since the women are not dating them (I don’t think?), just sayin’..wow, double standards are alive and kicking

By LisaK

July 18, 2008 11:12 AM | Link to this

*Wise Diva *

hey!

By The Truth

July 18, 2008 11:15 AM | Link to this

Staceye the booty isn’t a prize anymore, hell, most of you have given it away more times than you can count. I simply want you to know that I’m not here to be your girlfriend. I want to get inside you and thats why we’re having this conversation. Then again there are other things you’re gonna do and I let you know that too. I would be a coward to run the old end game and act like we’re cool and it’s ok if we don’t have sex. It’s not.

By anonymousella

July 18, 2008 11:17 AM | Link to this

Ladies, how do you handle the men who are too fast and frisky for your taste? Do you ignore it? Do you ask the guy to fall back a little bit until you feel ready to reciprocate?

dirty talk always sounds stupid and/or corny to me. corny talk = mandatory turn-off. if a dude i just met says some slick sh#t about us getting naked, i won’t be.

now if i know you and we have established some other kind of relationship, i might let your corny comment slide. but i much prefer doing it to talking about it.

By Blue Kolla

July 18, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

Raqi It’s ours to give and ours to keep.

And when a dude lets a chick know that she can do just that, keep it, she falls right in line… well that’s if she was feeling him anyway.

By SexyLeggs

July 18, 2008 11:24 AM | Link to this

Sheesh!

By Mr. Anderson

July 18, 2008 11:25 AM | Link to this

Daisy, why the eff do I care what you had for breakfast?

On topic, this guy sounds like he was putting out some feelers to see how receptive you were to his overt “moves.” You sound like a somewhat conservative girl, so it sounds like he messed up with that silly text. Now, he still may be compatible with you for later, when your comfort with intimacy with him is greater, you’ll be happier with his “moves”, for they show he’s attracted to you. But for now, he sounds like a guy that just wants a romp.

By mytwocents

July 18, 2008 11:29 AM | Link to this

Slim1G That skit is it. Cuz really after his world been rocked one time or 100, HIS loot is still comfy-cozy in HIS Swiss bank account where it should be. Which is why I really don’t have an issue with pre-nups in theory …

Truth, Sweet Pea not a one of y’all have to lead with $$. I believe it’s a bad choice made by those lacking either patience, confidence, common sense, or imagination.

The passive Gold digger? Seriously? So there’s really no way to give some of y’all azz w/o it being analyzed for getting in the pockets. And then when ladies indulge & try to backtrack it’s like Love Jones so why y’all confused again bout why we try to be sure we wanna do all that with you? With all this judgment we face, it better be worthwhile, d@mmit!

By Poppa Grande

July 18, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this

the booty isn’t a prize anymore, hell, most of you have given it away more times than you can count. I simply want you to know that I’m not here to be your girlfriend.

That pretty much summed up my thoughts. It was not as much about the booty as it is letting my intentions known. There may be more tactful ways of going about it, but that is the real purpose. Let’s be real. I know some females that have a problem with tact, too.

WD As for double standards, no one said that life was fair. If they did, they lied to you.

In life, there are areas where the double standards tip in your favor…

For example… Really, what do you think that a cop would say if I tried to cry my way out of a ticket? Some females (not saying you do) are able to get away with that.

Double standards are alive and well, but they are alive and well in many areas of life not just in this area. Doesn’t mean they are right, but knowing that they exists provides a way to deal with them instead of being blindsighted by them.

By M.

July 18, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this

@Wise Diva

LOL @ stick and move phase. You are crazy LOL…I almost fell out my chair when I heard that…Women have those too? When I was in college, man we had some go getters on the University of Minnesota campus…All types, snow bunnies, jersey chasers, etc…It just got so hard after college lol…dating wise.

By Demigod33

July 18, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this

What about those times when a woman’s body language is saying “I want you” but her mouth is saying “slow down playa”???

Just look at chick like she is chick and keep it moving…She is just playing games.

By BINFORD2K

July 18, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this

Staceye!!!! How could you? I though we had something special!

See what happens when you go away for a short time people!

ATL Guy: She’s all yours chief!

Binford drowns in his sorrows with some booze and mindless music of TOT!

By Wise Diva

July 18, 2008 11:36 AM | Link to this

oh Papa, I have long since accepted the double standards of life, I just still point it out every chance I get, because it’s funny to do so, to me.

By johnnyD

July 18, 2008 11:39 AM | Link to this

I know what I want and I know what women want. Women love to be romanced and catered toward. What is wrong with that? I love an adventure and like fine dining, travel, sports cars and what better to do these things with than a beautiful woman. It is fun to go to the mountains or the beach for the weekend and I find that the women I date prefer this and get “frisky” quicker than other dating venues.

By The Real Truth

July 18, 2008 11:39 AM | Link to this

The less respect you give a woman, the more she gives you in return.

By BINFORD2K

July 18, 2008 11:40 AM | Link to this

TOT = TOTO

:)

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

July 18, 2008 11:41 AM | Link to this

East Point But as soon as I take this same chick to my crib for the first time… why do the clothes drop? I can only speak for myself..but in this instance I would feel more comfortable about the guy if I knew where he lives. A guy that wants just a jump off type thing with her should not let her know where he lives. Why…because you never know what she is like and if she may go psycho on you when you try to hit it and quit it! I know the only time I bring a guy to my crib…after spending enough public time with him is because I see a possibility with him. I would not just let any dude know where I live. Too many nuts out there. When you lay your head…your domain should not be visited by everyone yo