Misadventures in Atlanta

By Raqi

August 12, 2008 8:29 AM | Link to this

LOL. It’s amazing isn’t it.

I like being extra-ordinary. I don’t need all that other stuff.

By Foots

August 12, 2008 8:55 AM | Link to this

Good morning!

(sigh) I guess I haven’t been in Atlanta long enough. I just meet and date regular, hard-working guys. I haven’t the slightest urge to go find the wealthy guys and if I did, I wouldn’t know where to look anyway. The men I date may be successful in their own right because they are happy with their lives, but they are not wealthy or powerful. They are still grinding, putting in the work so that they may relax one day. They drive regular cars too. The nicest cars I’ve been in happen to be the ones my girls drive.

I’m not attracted by flash, and I figure that that’s why I never end up dating anyone who when we meet, seems to be leading with his wallet.

Yesterday we revisited the occupation of a person, but when do you really inquire about what a guy does? How does it come up?

I ask about a man’s occupation within a normal conversation. If a person likes what they do, they may mention it on their own. Most of the time, they ask what I do first. I don’t take it as gold-digging, I take it as wanting to find out more about me (or me about him).

By SexyLeggs

August 12, 2008 8:57 AM | Link to this

WOW, are you mad this morning (JK). I agree, I too am tired of those that oversell themselves…I’m broke, struggling to make ends meet, p** at the IRS, a great cook, great kisser, but no model, actor or singer am I. I is what I is…a woman making ends meet (LOL).

By Bit-O-Hunny

August 12, 2008 9:10 AM | Link to this

Morning blog…Atlanta is a city of pretentiousness. Most people feel like they must upstage the next/last guy/girl so they lie/embellish the truth in hopes of winning you over long before the truth they that actually live in their mother’s basement in Decatur ever comes out.

chuckle

By AmazonRed

August 12, 2008 9:12 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone. I agree that meeting aspiring producers or “artists” is an immediate turn off. In fact, I don’t really want to know what you do when we have our first convo.

A couple of weeks ago, I told a MIA story about my phone stalker. The one who kept calling me even though I never returned his call. Well, a week ago, he sent me a picture of him on the beach in Miami, implying that had I called him back, I could have gotten a trip. I laughed to myself and continued to ignore him. It’s amazing how many guys say they don’t want a gold digger but lead with their wallets. I don’t know why he expected me to be impressed.

By Raqi

August 12, 2008 9:13 AM | Link to this

Why people are afraid of being average just boggles my mind.

Diva is correct. People think you have to be an “artist”, as expressed yesterday, to impress others.

Just be you. I care less about what others think. My averageness is working for me.

By Raqi

August 12, 2008 9:23 AM | Link to this

IMO Amazon that didn’t really seem like he was trying to lead with his wallet. Just seems like he was stating he would have taken you to Miami with him. It really doesn’t cost that much to vacation is Miami.

But I guess since I don’t know the whole story nevermind my opinion.

By IslandGirl

August 12, 2008 9:27 AM | Link to this

Good Morning everyone

Regarding the topic, this reminds me about the conversation we recently had about people introducing themselves first by saying what they do for a living, and how much money they make. I have to agree with Bit-O-Hunny in regards to how pretentious the single and fabulous “circus” is in Atlanta.

By AmazonRed

August 12, 2008 9:27 AM | Link to this

Raqi - You would go with a strange man you’d met 2 weeks before to Miami? I’d say it’s a little too early to be taking road trips with someone you’d just met.

By Foots

August 12, 2008 9:31 AM | Link to this

Is it possible to find a nice middle ground?

I don’t know about a middle ground between wealthy and down-to-earth, but I’m sure it can be found. The middle ground I seek is midway between silly and serious, spiritual and spontaneous, a homebody and a travel fiend, street smarts and book learning, ambition and being satisfied with what he has, cockiness and humility.

By Tuesday

August 12, 2008 9:33 AM | Link to this

There are so many Posers in ATL!!!!!!

By QC...zzzzz

August 12, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this

Morning Bloggers….have a great day!

By Raqi

August 12, 2008 9:46 AM | Link to this

No Amazon I would not go away with someone I have only known 2 weeks. Like I said I don’t know the whole story. I miss where you posted it a couple of weeks ago. I was just saying it didn’t seem like he was flashing anything by saying you could have gone to Miami with him. Not that swanky of a place to try to impress. Now had he sent you a picture from Paris standing by his Mercedez in front of his mini-mansion with a fan of $100 bills in one hand and credit cards in the other stating “All of this could have been yours” then I would say he was leading.

By Dan

August 12, 2008 9:48 AM | Link to this

@WD

Tell ‘em why you mad, son!!!!!!

By Atl Lady

August 12, 2008 9:49 AM | Link to this

QCCould you tell Darrell to come back and blog one last time before he ties the knot? Just want to shout out to him one last time.

By AmazonRed

August 12, 2008 9:51 AM | Link to this

Raqi - To each his own. I don’t see any rationale to send me such a pic unless he’d thought I’d be impressed. Having been offered trips to places way better than Miami (that I also didn’t accept), no, I was not impressed. But I do think he was sending the wrong message to begin with.

By M.

August 12, 2008 9:53 AM | Link to this

Atlanta is definately overhyped at times…Like a met a girl who said she was a model here in Atlanta but was from Los Angeles….Why would you leave there to model in Atlanta?…I know why…to much competition. I saw her photos and they looked like some sears portrait studio pics….

@WiseDiva

Are you ever concerned about coming across as a gold digger when you mingle with the successful, wealthy?

Thats funny because I know a guy like that who is like I will only talk to a woman if she has this, drives that, and makes above this. He only wants the successful and wealthy women and very materialistic…

@AmazonRed

You have a good point about guys leading with the wallets.

By Dan

August 12, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this

I think maybe we’re confusing some things.

I know a lot of “rap artists” that do nothing but ryhme and promote their music from the trunk of the car. But like GA Man said, that’s their dream and they’re going for it even if they live in they momma basement in Decatur.

Now I agree out and out lying in wrong…although I have been a Falcons special Team player a time or two in life…but to speak to your passion is different.

Ask me what I do for a living: I work for the government. Ask me what I do to feed my passion and aspirations: I write.

Sometimes it’s not the answer that provides enlightenment, it’s the questions. And the women that know the difference between how I pay my bills and what drive my passion, are the one that get it.

By Raqi

August 12, 2008 9:57 AM | Link to this

Foots Middle ground IMO is being ordinary with a touch of a little something extra. A little extra pep in your step. A man can average with a regular job but making it work well for him and also with a wonderful sense of humor.

Most self proclaimed actors, models and what not are usually broke or living from pay check to pay check also talking about its about to happen for them. But an average person can be financially straight, level headed with a magnetic personality.

By SexyCool

August 12, 2008 9:57 AM | Link to this

dan…lmAo…

in the past, i’ve met my fair share of music industry types and music industry groupies…wasn’t my thing, so i didn’t buy into the hype…

you can’t impress me with your title, if you don’t capture my attention with your spirit…

By Dan

August 12, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this

Oh, and must comment:

It is tricking even if you got it!

But what worse is that cats that don’t have it, hurting themselves to look like it…ain’t nothing wrong with dressing well and having your bills paid.

Your light are off, but that $150 shirt was worth it.

By Dan

August 12, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this

@WD

Now, to you.

Did somebody hit you with the “I’mma a producer” story? Complete with photoshopped picture of him and Dre, Big Boi, Usher, et al?

Why so serious?

By SlimDiva

August 12, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this

I’ve met plenty of people who proclaim to be someone other than who they realy are. Actually, I am an actress. I have had more performances outside of my church, than inside. I have performed in local plays at the 14th Street Playhouse and other venues, as well as had roles in independent films. My roles have been either lead or support roles and I have DVDs to prove it. However, when I’m dating, I don’t inform men initially upon meeting them. They usually don’t find out until I have a casting call, rehearsal or film shoot. I don’t share my movies. Most times it’s intimidating or they think they’ve hit the jackpot. I have a full-time job, but acting is my passion. The person who I’m currently dating understands and isn’t the least bit fazed by, although he does tell me how proud he is of me for pursuing a childhood goal.

I don’t broadcast it because when I mention it in small conversation, people want to give me their numbers to be extras or just to be a part of a project that I’m invovled with. That becomes nerve wrecking!!! Therefore, I just tell people about my FULL-TIME job!

By 2 Can Play That Game©

August 12, 2008 10:14 AM | Link to this

“It is tricking even if you got it!”

shyttin me!!! That’s like tellin somebody how to spend their money! If I gotta stack in my pocket, and wanna blow it, that’s my prerogative….

By Wise Diva

August 12, 2008 10:15 AM | Link to this

I wasn’t angry when I wrote this, LOL just annoyed. I made the mistake of going to a couple of events that was filled with posers. Clearly, I need to do a better job of picking places to socialize with like-minded individuals

By SexyLeggs

August 12, 2008 10:15 AM | Link to this

ALERT

I have a friend who has two tickets for the Atlanta Falcons game this Saturday, August 16th, 7:30 at the Georgia Dome. These are great seats and because this is a pre-season game, I am willing accept the best offer for these tickets. This includes cash, gift card you don’t use, or barter of goods or services. Each ticket has a value of $79.00 and you have a chance to get both for a rewarding offer. Any of you interested??

By SexyCool

August 12, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this

see, slimdiva…when someone makes a statement like that…it piques my curiosity…share your roles…i would be interested in supporting your work…

By Atl Lady

August 12, 2008 10:19 AM | Link to this

DanLMAO I know women who do the same thing. They won’t pay their bills, but will buy new outfits, shoes, and the like just to pretend they have money. Then beg co-workers for lunch money, bill money, and I just look at them like they’re crazy.

By Dan

August 12, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this

@2C

What say…ain’t trying to tell nobody nothing…

It’s just don’t try and change the game, it is what it is, so call it what it is…

By SlimDiva

August 12, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this

SexyCool…I will definitely inform you all the next time I’m in a project. Thanks for the support…it’s DEFINITELY appreciated.

I don’t tell anyone, because just like my family, they THINK I have money. If I was making the type of money that everyone think I am just from acting, I would NOT have a full-time job. I’m able to obtain the material things that I have from working my job and my PART-TIME acting career.

Unfortunately, I declined roles for an independent film and for a play due to scheduling conflict with classes and my full-time job. However, I am preparing for a different casting call and will let you know when the project is completed and ready for distribution and/or the movie’s premiere. Yes…independent film’s have premieres.

By SexyLeggs

August 12, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this

Good for you Slimdiva! Keep on keeping on!

By Foots

August 12, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this

Atl Lady I know women who do the same thing. They won’t pay their bills, but will buy new outfits, shoes, and the like just to pretend they have money

Girl, don’t get me started on the “church ladies” with new sparkly suits and shoes every Sunday and eat out with the whole family three times a week, but they got their water and lights turned off. My sister has friends like that, and they always in her pocket too. I get p** with her when she helps them turn utilities back on. Grown azz women with husbands should at least have lights.

Sorry, had to rant a bit…but I can’t stand grown folks that take care of their wants first, then call on somebody else to take care of their needs.

By Jason

August 12, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this

“Guys, have you had experiences with women who claim to be something that they are not to impress you?”

No, because women know guys (in general) don’t care what they do for a living, as long as they’re physically attractive. Conversely, women (in general) don’t care what a guy looks like, as long as he’s successful (i.e., rich). Women, therefore, wear make up and dress in designer clothes to appear prettier than they actually are, and men embellish details about their careers to seem more accomplished.

By 2 Can Play That Game©

August 12, 2008 10:30 AM | Link to this

I feel where ya coming from Dan;

But look at the word itself, “tricking”….A “trick” is a ploy to get over - so someone who ain’t trynna get over, ain’t really tricking….it’s those who ain’t got it, and trynna get it (“it” can be whatever), that succumbs to “tricks”!

By SlimDiva

August 12, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this

Thanks SexyLeggs!!!

By Dan

August 12, 2008 10:37 AM | Link to this

@2C

We ain’t talking bout the word, we talkig about the action of trickin.

Cats can use whatever logic they want to justify what is essentially an out of pocket play.

Live cats know the game ain’t played like that.

By SexyCool

August 12, 2008 10:40 AM | Link to this

foots…i would be less than pleased with my sister as well…i ain’t giving nobody that’s got a man ANY of my money…at least not anymore…lol…

learned that lesson the hard way…ended up calling that lost money tuition…

By Dan

August 12, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

Again, two constructs being merged or at least confused.

Putting money into the pot for ya man/lady is one thing;

Flushing it down the drain, another;

The difference, ROA. If your ROA is less that 1%, you’ze losing, no question about it.

By 2 Can Play That Game©

August 12, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this

Ok, Dan……

“action”, you say?

Am I trickin if I go out and buy the new I-Phone, while my current one works just fine? Am I trickin if I go out and buy new car, even though ain’t nothing wrong with my current one? Or, is this only pertaining to wooing women…..cause I don’t spend money for a woman’s sake…I spend mine, for me!!!

Just asking, for clarification sake….

By Foots

August 12, 2008 10:59 AM | Link to this

SexyCool I may be called stingy, but I never lend money that I believe won’t be repaid. I’ve lent money to one friend, because I know he pays me back and I know he wouldn’t ask if he didn’t really need it. But even he got me mad earlier this year when he needed to pay me back and I cut him some slack until I found out that he and his wife had gone to Hawaii for a week. His bill came due immediately and all the funds are now dry. He still my boy though.

By Dan

August 12, 2008 11:00 AM | Link to this

@2C

You tricking:

When you pay a woman bills, that you ain’t in a relationship with;

When you buy jewlery for the babe you just fugging;

When you spending $100 on a meal, to have to go home and take a cold shower;

When you pay a woman for her time (i.e. you have to buy her something, for her to anywhere with you);

All this applies to the chick that ain’t your gal.

Call it leading with the wallet, tricking, or as CD said the other day, the more commonly used euphemism “treating a woman well”.

But like I said, for the next man to do it, cool. Just don’t call it game.

Tricking out on 4, 5 babes, thinkin you’ze a playa….come on…

But to your point, if she get the Iphone while you rock the old school, or the new car while you rock the old school….that’s tricking.

By m'karyl

August 12, 2008 11:00 AM | Link to this

@Wise Chirl…I worked at V’s on P’Tree in the mid-80’s…talk about a place where the congregants were all of teh above you listed and then some…the cheap quality good-looking, stylish suits…the flimsy business cards…the rap that always kept them talking about bizness…because see, I am all about bizness bs…everyone was trying to impress everyone else with who they were…everybody has a psuedo-profile agends…what a hoot because I would peep the blow and still act nonchalant and so what anyway…please, that is really teh whole ATL scene to me…pretense of existence…sham and foolery…nothing real and genuine.

By Foots

August 12, 2008 11:03 AM | Link to this

Or, is this only pertaining to wooing women…..cause I don’t spend money for a woman’s sake…I spend mine, for me!!!

Is there something wrong specifically with wooing women? Not extravagance, mind you, just doing something that would please her and make her smile? Regardless of whether it cost $$ or not?

By SexyCool

August 12, 2008 11:03 AM | Link to this

naw, dan…that’s called gettin’ caked…lol…

By For Real

August 12, 2008 11:05 AM | Link to this

What up Blog Fam!

WD I told you that was just one of my many, many houses. It was just a co-inky-dink that my momma was there. Like I told last night she don’t live there I got her in a penthouse in Buckhead. Beside, if you would have kept it down she would have never heard us.

SlimDiva That’s cool that you are actress. Hey my passion is picture taking. You think you could provide me with some leads. Oh and I am mobile too.

Ared Why don’t you let ole boy off the hook and tell him what he did and why you are not interested. Oh and I just sent you a pic of the Black Cake you ordered.

Foots/Atl Lady That’s those I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-A-N-T Chicks. I love messing with they begging azz. I see them all time drankin out of their friends glass and eat folks french fries all while sipping on an apple martini for 8hrs.

By Dan

August 12, 2008 11:06 AM | Link to this

@2C

You tricking:

When you pay a woman bills, that you ain’t in a relationship with;

When you buy jewlery for the babe you just fugging;

When you spending $100 on a meal, to have to go home and take a cold shower;

When you pay a woman for her time (i.e. you have to buy her something, for her to anywhere with you);

All this applies to the chick that ain’t your gal.

Call it leading with the wallet, tricking, or as CD said the other day, the more commonly used euphemism “treating a woman well”.

But like I said, for the next man to do it, cool. Just don’t call it game.

Tricking out on 4, 5 babes, thinkin you’ze a playa….come on…

But to your point, if she get the Iphone while you rock the old school, or the new car while you rock the old school….that’s tricking.

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

August 12, 2008 11:06 AM | Link to this

Ared It’s amazing how many guys say they don’t want a gold digger but lead with their wallets. Girl You ain’t never lied on that one! LOL I guess he thought you were one of these broke azz chicks who needs a man to pay for her to do things! I will let a dude know in a minute..I don’t need you. I do fine taking care of me jsut fine! You are an accessory…not a necessitiy!

Dan I am all for going for your dream…Lord knows I am. But I don’t do the starving artist thing. And because I chose to go to school and have a decent paying 9-5 while pursuing my dream, I have been accused of not wanting it as bad as the ones who don’t have a job and only make money when a show happens to come there way and trunk cd sales. That is so far from the truth! I like to live in a nice place, shop, travel, etc. and since I do not depend on men/sugardaddies to do those things for me…I must work. Since moving here I have met so many, “producers”. There is a difference between a producer and beat maker. If you just make beats out of samples and Fruity loops, you are a beat maker. If you can play instruments, arrange music and know music theory, you are a producer! I worked with these beatmakers, BKA wanna-be-producers and they don’t know squat! Dudes here will go buy the Benz, but live in a sh*t-hole with no furntiure…or their mami’s basement. They will go buy $900 Red Monkey jeans and if you holler in their bank account it will echo because it’s empty! They will go tot eh club and pay obsecen amounts to go through the VIP line and buy umteen bottles to sit in VIP ti allow a bunch of leeching azz chicks that they do not know to come in and drink hoping to get azz from at least one…and numbers on reserve for later azz! POSERS!!!!!

Foots Grown azz women with husbands should at least have lights. Girl you ain’t never lied! I refuse to help 2 grown people..espcially if that other person is a man! What is he doing to make sure that stuff does not happen? What is she doing to help him? Nope..you are on your own. If I..a single woman who pays who own bills can take care of the house….you should be better off than me!

By 2 Can Play That Game©

August 12, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this

Ok, I’m with you now…..”tricking” only pertains to wooing the opposite sex…..I gotcha……and NO, none of those scenarios would apply to me….

By Atl Lady

August 12, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this

FootsI understand! lololol I know someone whose husband will give her the bill money and she’ll blow it and then ask her friends for the money back. I told her one day…You’re just gonna have to take this a$$ woopin. He doesn’t give you the bill money for you not to pay the damn bills.

By Poppa Grande

August 12, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this

Raqi

*Why people are afraid of being average just boggles my mind. *

Because media (& TV especially) conditioned people to believe that average=boring.

This is the reason for my disdain for reality tv.

Look at American Idol, the people who are really bad like that Asian guy that sang “She Bangs” and the really good people are the ones that get airtime. The average or decent singer rarely gets airtime.

Second example, I remember watching the first “Real World” cast in MTV. They were considered boring. AS the show has gone on (particularly since the LA cast, that had nasty azz puck and the guy with AIDS) it has been one crazy group after another. I last watched it when it was on New Orleans (with Julie the Mormon).

Next, the crazy azz chick New York that managed to be crazy enough to land her own gig out of the whole Flava Flav show.

Next, take a look a youtube. That website is full of people making fools of themselves, videotaping it, and putting it on the internet for all to see.

People want there 15 minutes of fame. Its fed by insecurity, and its a byproduct of living in a capitalist society, in which you have to have something of value to get something of value. If you don’t believe me try borrowing money without something that someone else would like to have (i.e. land).

By SexyLeggs

August 12, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this

M’karyl my girls and I would go to V’s and laugh our butts off at all the men posturing standing up against the wall and around the bar. Trying to look all high and mighty only to ask you to dance w/stank breath. I had just arrived from NY so the scene was extremely comical to me…V’s on P’tree and Cisco’s had the most characters.

By 2 Can Play That Game©

August 12, 2008 11:12 AM | Link to this

“Is there something wrong specifically with wooing women?”

it depends, Foots; Depends on the methods you use to woo her….I see what Dan was saying, if you trynna woo her with your wallet, as opposed to letting your natural abilities do the deed for you.

By AmazonRed

August 12, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

Why don’t you let ole boy off the hook and tell him what he did and why you are not interested.

For Real - Maybe I’d do that if we’d actually had a phone conversation, or gone out on a date. I really don’t feel that he’s owed any explanation for a never returned phone call.

Besides, he’s stopped calling. He called after he sent the pic, maybe thinking I’d we ‘wowed’ enough to pick up the phone. No dice. I guess he finally got the hint.

Staceye - I knew you’d feel me. LOL. I don’t have to broadcast that I don’t need a man, but I do wonder if guys like that ever wonder what type of “quality” they are attracting acting that way.

By For Real

August 12, 2008 11:15 AM | Link to this

Wait a minute, so you saying if I buy her something to come to my crib I’m trickin?!?!?

By Cat Killla

August 12, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this

The key is to subbliminally state that you are an actor/rockstar/mogul or whatever and then play it down. Girls love that.

For example. I bring a chick over to my place…which is super nice btw. I’m talking 10 ft ceilings, hardwood flors, granite and steel, city views for miles, but I act like it’s just an “average” place. I even apologize for it being messy even though it’s not. If I do mention that I’m going to “NY” or “miami” for the weeekend I say it like it’s no big deal Like I’m going to the friggin grocery store or something.

Works 8 out of 10 times.

By Atl Lady

August 12, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this

Poppa I second that motion. I remember the original cast as well and the writer Kevin is today a top writer in his field. I watched some of the New Orleans show as well. I still can’t believe Julie got kicked out of her school and was on the brink of getting kicked out of her church over that show. Thten for the girl Melissa Howard to end up on Girls Behaving Badly. It makes you wonder.

By Foots

August 12, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this

Staceye If I..a single woman who pays who own bills can take care of the house….you should be better off than me!

I’m with you on that! I used to get mad at my sister about asking for money from me. She’ll still ask, but now I say no, in a lighthearted way. Because I know that in our next conversation, she’ll tell me about what she just ordered online that she really didn’t need or ask me to go out to dinner with them. I tell her all the time, it’s not that I don’t have the money, I just don’t have the money for THAT. I had to learn my lesson about them too. Granted, I don’t think my BIL knows that she asks, because she is the one who makes sure the bills are paid.

But I didn’t even know jeans could cost $900. I’m late. In my world, this set of tires I just bought cost $900. At least I can wear them out everyday. Red Monkey? Do they actually come with a monkey??

By m'karyl

August 12, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this

@SexyLeggs

Uh-huh…way too much a hoot…but I knew the hierarchal layout of the club…it was segregated by designated importance…all the VIPs sat at the main bar, the wanna-be *VIPs paid good tips to sit at the side bar…the fine single honeys sat in the center main area…those stuck to the back or front in the dark were not to be seen…what a hoot…black folk jim-crow…comng from uptop, I was like…oh no…uh!!!

I have never understood the need to be pretentious and fronting…I like me…a lot…I enjoy who I am…I could not care less about impressing someone…in fact, whenever I hear someone say “Oh, are you trying to impress me?…I always reply why…”If I am going to make a effort to impress someone then why not somebody who can actually do something for me (like some legitmate money making opportunities with my diverse skill sets)…why you, you can’t do anything for me…nor for yourself.

By Beautiful

August 12, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

mood today wanna share my world with y’all! me and my girls got together last weekend and took MORE pics. i love these photos. wanna looksey? YOU HAVE TO BE LOGGED INTO YOUR MYSPACE. sorry.

[http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=246778453&albumID=0&imageID=13699197]

[http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=246778453&albumID=0&imageID=13698928]

on topic when i was in atl, i met alot of music producers. i didn’t believe they all had the hook-up, but didn’t want to rain on their parade (lie). i didn’t date any of them, so it didn’t matter.

By AmazonRed

August 12, 2008 11:25 AM | Link to this

Cat Killa - I’m curious to know how those other 2 women out of the 10 respond. Please share. LOL

By Foots

August 12, 2008 11:25 AM | Link to this

2C it depends, Foots; Depends on the methods you use to woo her…

Yeah, I see what Dan was saying, but outside of the random “I had to buy her a purse to get her to go out with me” type of scenario (does this really happen), and you are dealing with a woman whom you’ve taken enough time to get to know (so that you know it’s about you, and not your wallet), is there something wrong with doing something nice for her just to see her smile? Even if she is not your woman yet?

By Atl Lady

August 12, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this

SexyI used to go to V’s too. A girlfriend of mine used to throw a Black-tie b-day party every year there for about 5-6 years straight. You brought back some memories then.

By Dan

August 12, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this

@Foots

I’m talking about cats spending out on babes, just for her time.

I was talking to this one chick that said I had to pay her bills (at least one) just to hang with her. I was like”….what? Chick, you crazy.” Shine the light in her eyes to check for pupil dilation, all that.

These dudes is actually out there paying for it! Like, “you pay my gas bill, I’ll let you hit.” Me: “guess you gone be cold and hungry, unless that microwave is putting in work.”

By 2 Can Play That Game©

August 12, 2008 11:35 AM | Link to this

“is there something wrong with doing something nice for her just to see her smile? Even if she is not your woman yet?”

Nope, not at all.

By Poppa Grande

August 12, 2008 11:49 AM | Link to this

Dan

*I was talking to this one chick that said I had to pay her bills (at least one) just to hang with her. I was like”….what? Chick, you crazy.” Shine the light in her eyes to check for pupil dilation, all that. *

Dude…you ran into that crazy heifer too! LOL. Seriously though, I had the same conversation with a chick. I pretty much left her right at that point. I responded with “I’m sorry that I wasted your time” and walked away while thinking that some dummy was gonna fall for that ish. But this kid wasn’t the one.

By Foots

August 12, 2008 11:49 AM | Link to this

Dan I was talking to this one chick that said I had to pay her bills (at least one) just to hang with her.

Shoot, that’s called an Escort Service. I don’t know any women who deal in that type of “You gotta pay to play” nonsense. So it’s fascinating to hear stories of men who keep running into women like that.

Aside from examples like that, I think that 2C answered my question just fine.

By SexyLeggs

August 12, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this

M’Karyl, I learned this all important lesson from a dude posturing against the wall. Don’t know if it’s true, but it made sense to me then and it still does to this day. Once I became somewhat of a regular, I was told that a lot of the regular brothers admired “my walk of confidence” in that I walk in self-assured. Told me men stand at the door to spot those women who walk in with trepediation or seem to cower behind her friends. Those are the ones asked to dance and attempt to get drunk only to be taken advantage of. Fellas, have you been guilty of this?

PoppaG I watched the first episode of Real World and loved the show. Saw nasty a$$ Punk and all that you speak of. Can’t get with Flava Flav show. Saw first episode and that was a wrap for me. All these people wanting to get their 15 mins of fame in such degrading ways is beyond my comprehension. Who really believes you can find love on The Bachelor and get married. Hell, who wouldn’t be in love with all the glitz and the dates the network is paying for. Once you get back to the “real world” (no pun intended) and the cameras and $$ is gone, what do they usually wind up doing DIVORCING!

By SlimDiva

August 12, 2008 11:58 AM | Link to this

For Real — I have a friend who is a photographer and has several projects. Let’s talk!!!

Stacye — I concur with your comments to Dan. Because I’ve been acting off and on since forever it seems, people feel that I’m not serious enough and should pursue it more. God blessed me with spiritual wisdom, knowledge, common sense and other skills and talents. The industry is extremely difficult to obtain roles in major sitcoms or films, especially for Black women. Just because I’m constantly asked if I’m a model doesn’t mean that I can walk into a casting call and receive the role. Some people are overnight success and it’s a long journey for others. Although acting IS MY PASSION, I have bills to pay. I like to buy NICE things for MYSELF. I don’t like to depend on others. I have family members who call me bougie, but whatever…MY MONEY IS MY MONEY!!! I’m NOT sitting around waiting for a handout. I worked hard to obtain my degree, so I’m using it.

M’Karyl, SexyLeggs, Atl Lady…don’t forget about Sansuci’s, The Phoenix and Uptown Atlanta (near Buford Hwy)…the same people frequent those clubs as well. The flashers and wanna be players!!!! Yes…you all brought back some memories!!!

By SexyLeggs

August 12, 2008 12:00 PM | Link to this

I couldn’t even fix my mouth to say anything along this line to a man I had to pay her bills (at least one) just to hang with her. I would have to run home, drop to my knees and ask forgiveness….but I had a friend just like this. She thought her stuff was GOLD, GOLD GOLDEN!!!

By Poppa Grande

August 12, 2008 12:01 PM | Link to this

Foots

I don’t know any women who deal in that type of “You gotta pay to play” nonsense.

Unless you date women, I doubt you’d know about it. I doubt most women would admit something like that with their friends. They’d probably present it to their friends by saying something like the following: “GGuurll, I got that dude’s nose so wide open that he paid my (insert utility here) bill.”

After all, she would risk being called a “h0” by her friends.

By Jason

August 12, 2008 12:01 PM | Link to this

“I bring a chick over to my place…which is super nice btw. I’m talking 10 ft ceilings, hardwood flors, granite and steel, city views for miles, but I act like it’s just an ‘average’ place.”

It is an average place. Pretty much every apartment or condo in Atlanta now has hardwood floors, granite countertops and stainless steel appliances.

“Works 8 out of 10 times.”

Why didn’t you just say 4 out of 5?

By SexyLeggs

August 12, 2008 12:05 PM | Link to this

Sorry fellas, wasn’t trying to get you to fess up to taking advantage of a woman drunk, just to the fact that men are standing by the door, up against the wall looking for that one?

By SexyLeggs

August 12, 2008 12:09 PM | Link to this

Don’t get me started SlimDiva on Sansuci’s. Like I said, I just arrived in Atlanta and Sansuci’s was in rotation. We couldn’t believe we stepped into a club with hay on the floor. OMG. That camp was full of bumpkins back in the day w/pointed plastic shoes. It was a shell shock to me, but the music was alive and well. If I heard Ring My Bell one time in there I heard it at least 25x in one freaking night. OM Goodness!

By AmazonRed

August 12, 2008 12:10 PM | Link to this

I was talking to this one chick that said I had to pay her bills (at least one) just to hang with her. These dudes is actually out there paying for it!

Sad but true. I have SEVERAL friends who think it’s a man’s “job” to put in on a bill or two. They don’t ask upfront, but after a few months of kicking it, paying a bill is expected.

And they steadily keep a man too. More so than me and I’ve never had ANYONE (male or female) pay one of my bills.

By Tazzee

August 12, 2008 12:10 PM | Link to this

Morning folks! Just got back from my high school reunion and I had a ball!

I never met any posers when I was in ATL - at least none that I knew of. The folks that actually had something to brag about were real laid back about theirs.

By AmazonRed

August 12, 2008 12:12 PM | Link to this

It is an average place. Pretty much every apartment or condo in Atlanta now has hardwood floors, granite countertops and stainless steel appliances.

Jason - That’s what I was thinking too (though my house has none of that). I’ve found that folks who came from nothing are the main ones thinking they have something to prove once their conditions improve.

By mytwocents

August 12, 2008 12:15 PM | Link to this

I used to raise the brow at all the local music producers but when I happen to listen to urban radio after 7, most of it does sound like the product of somebody w/ a few minutes to spare and perhaps a lil herbal inspiration.

SlimDiva Have you ever heard of or participated in ABFF.com? The Boot Camp led by Bill Duke actually includes onsite casting now. I think it’s happening this week but maybe next year.

Dan I’m tryna follow this trickin lesson. Does ROA = ROI?

Killa Maybe I’m 9 cuz that just sounds pretentious to me — to fake being unaffected… but interesting cuz it sounds like you find it a success to cull the eight. Maybe in a few years you’ll weed them out to get down to the top two. Or maybe your experiences have led to this method to shelter your heart.

By Beautiful

August 12, 2008 12:16 PM | Link to this

And they steadily keep a man too. More so than me and I’ve never had ANYONE (male or female) pay one of my bills.

me either. but i seen a lot of them settling. would i settle to get a bill paid? nope.

Tazzee i missed all of mine and i’m very sad behind that. glad you had fun though.

brb.

By Jazzyone

August 12, 2008 12:16 PM | Link to this

Seems to me something from the story is missing if you meet a man in two weeks he sends you a photo of him on the beach in Miami and you assume hes saying you missed out on a trip…I don’t think any of us were born yesterday sugah’…LMAOFF…why give your number if you don’t want him to call ..then label hima stalker…girl you know you are hilarious….

By Atl Lady

August 12, 2008 12:22 PM | Link to this

PoppaI’m going to call her a ho anyway. J/K The only women I know who allow their SOs to pay some of their bills are guys who feel like they have to do something along those lines to make a difference in her life in some meager way. I’ll get your oil changed in your car and you take that money and buy yourself something.

By Dan

August 12, 2008 12:25 PM | Link to this

@My2

ROAA(return on average assets)= ROI (return on investment).

Sorry about the linguistic mixup.

@ARed

I’m shocked that your homegirl would admit that.

The young lady I was referring to was introduced to me by our mutual friend. When the story got told back the friend I was cheap (true) and she did nothing wrong. So my homegirl hits me up with an attitude like “I’m trying to hook you up and you being…yada,yada, yada…”

After 5 minutes of being berated, I finally let her know what ole girl said…she was shocked. Hung up on me, called her, and ole girl finally admitted that that’s what she does.

I got an apology call and a hookup with a better looking friend that was more respectful (of herself and me).

By Cemeeli

August 12, 2008 12:32 PM | Link to this

Happy lunchhour….

Good day everyone!

mytwo How come massa can slave handle from offsite somewhere? i have never seen the whip be that long! Boss’s mine = Run hide from the Auditors. Cee = Come in all brave & oblivious to what is due by tomorrow. Is it to late have an morning headache/to groggy to stay? No? What about, my nerves are jacked up about my oral surgery so i had to take a day to brace myself. sumthin gotta give

Is Mo,Demi and Blue in here? They have been doing the school thing, i’m sure. You all didn’t advise me i should have taken these 2 days off. :)

By Raqi

August 12, 2008 12:34 PM | Link to this

Jaaaazzyyyyy LOL

By m'karyl

August 12, 2008 12:37 PM | Link to this

don’t forget about Sansuci’s, The Phoenix and Uptown Atlanta (near Buford Hwy)…the same people frequent those clubs as well.

Chirl…please…oh yeah…Sansuci’s sign was up at Fellin’s in Little 5 for the longest…lol…and Atlanta Nights…Club 131…all the same crew of wanna-be players…same old suits…I just liked to dance which is why I hit the spots…boogey in alone and boogey out alone.

@SlimDiva

Yeah, most of them had a game plan for a manipulated booty call…but face it…for the right amount of money, there were sisters up in there that were more than willing to comply…all of the head house ho’s sat at the main bar…oh excuse me, no they were all entreprenuers…seems all these women owned their own Bizness…well, uh yeah, I guess so…you were born with it…lol

By Poppa Grande

August 12, 2008 12:37 PM | Link to this

ATL Lady

If its offered its one thing. However, if it is a requirement then its another.

Allowing someone to pay isn’t the same as requiring someone to pay.

By SlimDiva

August 12, 2008 12:42 PM | Link to this

**MyTwoCents”…yes, I have heard of ABFF. The festival was held last week in LA.

I’ve always paid my own bills, in addition to the the things that I want. I don’t ask for a man to give me money for the hair salon, manicure, pedicure or anything else. I take care of me. If my mate gives me money as a gift…that’s different because we are in a relationship, but when I was casually dating…HECK NO!! I just DON’T believe in asking men for money!!!

By Atl Lady

August 12, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this

CeeEverybody can’t take off. I’m glad you’re here with us even if it’s just for a little while. Most moms I know schedule their vacations and personal days around when the kids are out of school and the first couple of days.

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

August 12, 2008 12:45 PM | Link to this

Afternoon All

God Bless Educators

I am not sure what the topic is, as I am sure it has changed. I did see something about dudes paying chicks bills….WTF-ever! Only time that happened was when I was married, if that can count! But to each his own…(sigh). Will catch up in a bit…..

Hope everyone is doing well!

By Foots

August 12, 2008 12:47 PM | Link to this

Big Poppa If its offered its one thing. However, if it is a requirement then its another.

Yeah, I can understand that, and you’re right. My SO was talking about the women he’d meet who were like “If you date me two months, I expect you to buy me X, Y, AND Z”. And it just shocked me that women actually do that.

And no, I don’t date women, but I know my friends well enough to know they don’t roll like that. The women I meet from time to time who know every designer alive and where to find all the ballers in town, we just don’t become friends. Different interests and lifestyle. I can’t keep up with the Joneses like that.

By AmazonRed

August 12, 2008 12:49 PM | Link to this

why give your number if you don’t want him to call ..then label hima stalker…girl you know you are hilarious

Jazzy - Glad I could give you a chuckle then. I gave the dude my number and changed my mind about my interest. I never called him, yet he called me no less than 16 times after that. I called him a phone stalker yes. You’d call it differently? So be it.

Dan - They admit it because they don’t see any problem with guys paying their bills. They figured that’s what men are supposed to do in the first place. Since, in theory, husbands pay your bills, I guess to them it starts in the dating stage. Remember, I’m from L.A. I have a friend there that didn’t work at all for an entire year because she had enough suitors to pay all her bills and have money left to play with.

By SlimDiva

August 12, 2008 12:50 PM | Link to this

M’Karyl…unfortunately, these same women NOW frequent clubs where the older crowd hang and are doing the same EXACT thing…SAD!!!

By Cemeeli

August 12, 2008 12:52 PM | Link to this

Most moms I know schedule their vacations and personal days around when the kids are out of school and the first couple of days. Use to be that way.

Ah, i have 3 weeks…no 4 weeks, and if 75% of that time is not spent at a vacation spot, shooot i need to re-evaluate.

Atl Lady - I know you can make a peach cobbler. Please, hook ya gurl up!

By Dan

August 12, 2008 12:58 PM | Link to this

@ARed

If a man, that is not your husband or SO is paying your bills…what does he get in return?

Let’s assume for the sake of argument 2 conditions:

1) It’s innocent, he just feels obligated, or just wants to do it,

In that case, he’s a Caker.

2) There is a quid pro quo, i.e. he recieves something in return (usu. a physical exchange),

That makes her a wh0re.

That’s why when I hear it and give the babe the gas face, I feel justified. In that [she] just offered me sex in exchange for money [regardless of the ultimate use for the money], that makes [her] a prostitute.

By Cemeeli

August 12, 2008 1:00 PM | Link to this

Sup Mo? I’m on slave row today, and i was here yesturday…a slow day at that. Maybe it was the earlier hours the helped me.

I second that…

Bless the educators AND the families that sacrifice them to the schools.

M’karyl What it do? Boogey? what chu doin; :).

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

August 12, 2008 1:01 PM | Link to this

Most moms I know schedule their vacations and personal days around when the kids are out of school and the first couple of days. I havent gotten that far yet, still in daycare. But I can see that coming. LOL

By Jazzyone

August 12, 2008 1:01 PM | Link to this

Raqi I know I couldn’t help it…head bowed..but laughing…LMAOFF

By Atl Lady

August 12, 2008 1:01 PM | Link to this

CeeI’ll see, but peaches are expensive these days. Got some nana puddin in the fridge?? I’m still working on your blackberry preserves.

By m'karyl

August 12, 2008 1:03 PM | Link to this

@SlimDiva

Yeah, I know…it is a pervasive mentality…I found so many ppl in the ATL to be on some kind of pimping trip…either as the subject or object of the game…and I also found that it made it harder for women like myself who are not into the kind of sexual exchange game play nonsense…if I had a few penance for every time I heard that I needed to learn to play the game to get A, B, C or D…where I came from the sisters worked for a living so dependency on a man to do in the exchange game was not common…but in the ATL that game is normal and expected…even more sad.

By mytwocents

August 12, 2008 1:04 PM | Link to this

Beautiful Did y’all take another road trip? Wanna take a wine country excursion, they’re so many lovely spots out there.

Cemeeli Hmmm Big Boss set you up for the okey doke. And them other parents got u feelin hoodwinked & bamboozled…mytwo’s solution? Shred the invoices & play hooky w/ lil Cee the rest of the week. Course you may suffer repercussions for both.

By NY2GA

August 12, 2008 1:04 PM | Link to this

I’m shocked that your homegirl would admit that

@Dan Shocked? Women who demonstrate “trickish behaviors” don’t have any shame. So, they don’t mind sharing their hustle. With gas at 3.70 a gallon and food prices creeping up there are probably more of those type chicks out there requiring that a man pays a few of her bills. Some men will give them the money simply for the ROA (Return on A*).

By Randyt (aka "been there, done that, got a closet with even more t-shirts)

August 12, 2008 1:05 PM | Link to this

Hello All,

All one needs is a well honed BS detector…and almost all people have a set issued when they are born. They are called ears and eyes ;-). If people feel compelled to start into the conversation with “I am …”, “I did…”, “I make…”, then there are two things that one can immediately perceive. 1) This person is very self-absorbed, or 2) this person has an inferiority complex and has a compulsive need to convince himself/herself that he/she has some value.

The key is the way they come across, is it a somewhat shy admission, or is it some obvious need to try to sell oneself. Give me the “semi shy type” any day, I can figure the rest out eventually myself.

By AmazonRed

August 12, 2008 1:10 PM | Link to this

Dan - I don’t condone it so I’m not necessarily disagreeing with you.

If a man, that is not your husband or SO is paying your bills…what does he get in return?

In a relationship, or working towards one, they guy is getting sex in the first place, so maybe it’s not a stretch for these women to ask for a bill to be paid. I don’t have all the details of how these types of things work! LOL

By m'karyl

August 12, 2008 1:10 PM | Link to this

@Randy…

Uh-huh…I am always leery of ppl who immediately take to my face and begin the unsolicited resume bs…it is as fi the do not think anyoneis aware that they are laying tracks of game and noise…there is definitely an issue of security there…no doubt…so I gonna be out..ciao…and it is an endless encounter in the ATL…

By Ladylike

August 12, 2008 1:11 PM | Link to this

Such a good topic. My sister and I were talking about relationships and she was like “just keep it real”. Tell’em the truth, if your car is busted don’t try to hide it be honest, if you don’t like to pay bills don’t lie. At first I thought, she so crazy then I figured, the person is going to find out sooner or later anyway.

By Kym aka Lady Sage

August 12, 2008 1:13 PM | Link to this

Good Afternoon All,

Okay are we still on topic? Well here is my .25. I don