AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2008 > August > 13 > Entry
Have we met?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Yesterday I griped about the people who purposely oversell themselves to get more attention from the opposite sex. Today, I wanted to discuss the people who are a little oblivious to the fact that they are not who they say/think they are. Specifically, women! Ladies, bear with me because I may have to throw a few of us under the proverbial girly bus today.
My guy decoder, Panama, has argued with me about his theory about women and their “representatives” and he actually won this particular argument. He wrote, “Most women aren’t who they say they are when you first begin dating them. I’m well aware that many men misrepresent themselves. However, there is one major difference. Those men are maliciously and deceivingly misrepresenting themselves in attempts to procure nudity; women ACTUALLY think they are the people they say they are.”
I had to finally concede and admit that even in my 30s, I am still learning about the “relationship” me and the “single” me. Honestly, I do seem to change a lot when I am in a committed relationship. Although, I don’t think I become a totally different person, I have found that when I become more emotionally invested in guy,some insecurities creep in and I have to keep them in check. That’s just one particular area that I recognize, but the guys I have dated pointed out others. It is always good when you date someone that can call you on your behavior!
Guys, do you agree with my buddy when he says that women aren’t who they think they are in terms of personality, character, etc.? Have you ever dated a woman who started out behaving one way, then as you two became serious, she totally flipped the script on you? How did you handle it?
Ladies, do you think that you are self-aware about your “relationship” self? Do you think you change when you become more involved in a relationship with a new guy? How do you deal with these changes without looking like a neurotic, split-personality, wacknut? Have you ever dated a guy who showed his true colors after months of dating, that made you think, who ARE you and have we met!?
Self-actualization is your friend people, Google it!
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Comments
By Atlanta Pearl Girl
August 13, 2008 8:21 AM | Link to this
It’s really quite interesting……. I really like myself ‘alot’…and feel that when in a relationship, it’s a delicate balancing act to keep yourself true and then merge yourself into another person. I like to think of it as being two trees side by side, and then you intertwine your ‘roots’ so to speak, but still remain two seperate trees on the surface.
It’s really difficult to do I think. I have seen girlfriends change before my eyes when they are with their spouse or significant others…one friend so much so, that when she’s with her husband our other friends look at one another with sideways glances at some of her actions. It’s as if she’s a completely different person that we don’t know.
I suppose that’s why I ‘dabble’ in dating. I’m looking for the guy who is happy with who he is, happy with me for who I am, and we just kind of end up being happy together, but able to be who we are. I suppose that’s why I also have pugs.
Here’s to romance!!!
By aqualung
August 13, 2008 8:34 AM | Link to this
I misrepresent PHYSICALLY with a weave (daily until December) and/or pantyhose and pushup bra (sometimes).
As far as personality and character, I’m a straight shooter. Rarely sarcastic or coy. I have a high opinion of myself, so there’s no need to oversell, really.
By QC
August 13, 2008 8:46 AM | Link to this
HAPPY HUMP DAY BLOGGERS…ENJOY IT
By Raqi
August 13, 2008 8:48 AM | Link to this
Atl Pearl I agree with you. However to your friend’s defense I am a witness to being around certain people lead to you to acting or wanting to act a certain way. I may act sillier around certain friends without my spouse. Not that I don’t act silly around him but it’s just that guys don’t like that overly silly behavior sometimes. And I tend to act much more girly around my marido than with most others. He tends to bring the full potential of my girlyness out. Not that I am not girly when he is not around.
‘Single’ vs ‘relationship’ behavior.
I am a believer of “you bring out the best in me”. Sometimes that a good thing and sometimes it’s not.
Now on the topic in particular, this could very well be the “best behavior” representative that we send out ahead of us. We tend to leave a better impression when on our best behavior. However to just totally be a whole different person and you know that you wouldn’t be caught acting like that on any given ordinary day is deception.
By M'Karyl
August 13, 2008 8:51 AM | Link to this
My relationship me is my single me…first and foremost the relationship for which I have the most esteem and value is the one I have with myself…I have spent more years being single than being in relationships…I have come to value who I am without any SO to affirm that status…I am truly a what you see (and hear) is what you get…I do not redefine that person based upon any emotional values assigned to another person.
By MLL(mammalongleggs)
August 13, 2008 9:14 AM | Link to this
Good topic Wise like Mya Angelou says when a person shows (not tell)you who they are, believe them so true. That’s been by rule of thumb forever! You get what you see with me. I don’t cover up instead flatter my flaws.
Have you ever dated a guy who showed his true colors after months of dating, that made you think, who ARE you and have we met!? Yes. esp since I moved to Atlanta.
By Brooklyn
August 13, 2008 9:19 AM | Link to this
Good morning Blog,
I don’t think I misrepresent in my relationships but I do notice with some men, I get more vulnerable and/or self conscious but I’m able to push that all away sooner or later. I usually tell a man what they see is what they get with me: an independant, sweet but witty, opinionated girl. I don’t suddenly become a doormat or a clinger once I get attached. Sometimes I even become more independant while in a relationship which frustrates bf’s sometimes.
I think every one has dated someone who turned out to be completely different that you thought. That comes with the territory in the dating life. Sometimes’ I’m able to be hip to these imposters but other times these men can be soo damn charming and fascinating that even I get drawn in. lol.
But overall I think once a person knows themselves well..they are able to recognize B.S from others and won’t tolerate it…
By Foots
August 13, 2008 9:20 AM | Link to this
Wise Although, I don’t think I become a totally different person, I have found that when I become more emotionally invested in guy,some insecurities creep in and I have to keep them in check.
I think that’s mostly everybody, including me. It’s just a way of protecting yourself when your heart is really on the line. The key for me is to not let it affect the way I relate to my man and keep allowing the trust to flourish.
I know that I tend to close off a little as I get further into a relationship, pull back some. I’m kind of at that point now, though my feelings haven’t changed, it’s just my self-preservation instinct at work. When I was much younger, it would spell the end of a relationship. Now that I’m older, I notice that I’m doing it and why, and I am able to corral those “RUN FORREST RUN!!” feelings a bit more.
By Foots
August 13, 2008 9:23 AM | Link to this
Have you ever dated a guy who showed his true colors after months of dating, that made you think, who ARE you and have we met!?
Yes and no. Yes, because I realized that after months of dating, I really didn’t know much about who he actually was. No, because I had more than an inkling that he wasn’t the right person for me in the two years before we got together in a relationship.
In other situations, I had clues to their true character. When the clues became facts, I left those situations.
By Raqi
August 13, 2008 9:33 AM | Link to this
“…who ARE you and have we met!?”
LOL That happens even after knowing someone for years. Don’t believe me? Wait until you share a life, home and bed with them every.single.day.
There will be some instances where you ask yourself “is this what I signed up for?”,”where did this (wo)man come from?”.
But I guess that’s life.
By Dan
August 13, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this
@WD
In the beginning there’s nothing to lose, I mean really, you don’t know the person.
As with all changes in life, you become increasingly used to an experience/person and figure out that you have more to lose.
That’s when the psycho “where you going, who you with, who over there, where you at, what you doing now?”
RIP Bernie Mac
By melo
August 13, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this
misrepresenting themselves in attempts to procure nudity i dont knw how ladies let this happen..make sure u have ur ruler with u all the time ladies….that way u can quickly get dressed if the measurements dont add up..lol when I become more emotionally invested in guy,some insecurities creep in and I have to keep them in check can u give examples of what insecurities creep in Wise so we get a clear sense of what u talking about…? But i wld think that if u want to fall in luv,u have to allow urself to be vulnerable,thats the only way u can feel the luv coming from the other side as well as enjoy it…Happy blogging guys…..
By Raqi
August 13, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this
I like this “self-actualization”. That’s one I have not discussed with my brother before.
IMO the first step to take in the self-actualization process is to be true to your self about that fact that we do tend to act different in certain situations. And being single versus in a relationship can very well be one of those situations.
A gaggle of folks are going to deny acting differently. But that’s probably because they don’t realize that they do.
First realizing who we are and then fully accepting it can lead to obtaining knowing and obtaining the fullness of one’s potential.
Sometimes it is necessary and beneficial for others to point out characteristics about us that we are not aware of. Having knowledge can make us a better being.
Don’t scoff…Embrace.
By MLL(mammalongleggs)
August 13, 2008 9:44 AM | Link to this
who ARE you and have we met!?” lol sometimes I had to ask myself who am I why am I with you lol I must’ve bumped my head for even going this far with this one LOL
By Sasha Two Pistols
August 13, 2008 9:47 AM | Link to this
Ladies, do you think that you are self-aware about your “relationship” self?—I think I am. I’m pretty much myself when I’m in a relationship, the only change is really a good, I’m more patient though. And if you know me, you would know that I can be quite impatient and impulsive about certain things. But in a relationship I’m more considerate, which is a good thing. But not to the point of being a push-over, cause I don’t play that.
Do you think you change when you become more involved in a relationship with a new guy?—Kind of goes with what I said in the above question. But I really try to check myself and make sure that I am still the same person around my man and my friends. And really being able to balance your other relationships is key here to me. I don’t like those people who only hang out with their significant other and totally isolates their male or guy friends, to me that is the worst change ever. You need to be able to still socialize with your people from time to time.
Have you ever dated a guy who showed his true colors after months of dating, that made you think, who ARE you and have we met!?—Months? Try weeks! LOL Basically, I had to take a step back and say to myself, Self, this is not what you want. My whole deal is, if I know I don’t want you around my friends, then you’re not the person for me. While I’m not going to base my decision on someone by my friends opinion, I have to feel comfortable bringing you into my close, personal relationships.
By Sasha Two Pistols
August 13, 2008 9:50 AM | Link to this
Ladies, do you think that you are self-aware about your “relationship” self?—I think I am. I’m pretty much myself when I’m in a relationship, the only change is really a good, I’m more patient though. And if you know me, you would know that I can be quite impatient and impulsive about certain things. But in a relationship I’m more considerate, which is a good thing. But not to the point of being a push-over, cause I don’t play that.
Do you think you change when you become more involved in a relationship with a new guy?—Kind of goes with what I said in the above question. But I really try to check myself and make sure that I am still the same person around my man and my friends. And really being able to balance your other relationships is key here to me. I don’t like those people who only hang out with their significant other and totally isolates their male or guy friends, to me that is the worst change ever. You need to be able to still socialize with your people from time to time.
Have you ever dated a guy who showed his true colors after months of dating, that made you think, who ARE you and have we met!?—Months? Try weeks! LOL Basically, I had to take a step back and say to myself, Self, this is not what you want. My whole deal is, if I know I don’t want you around my friends, then you’re not the person for me. While I’m not going to base my decision on someone by my friends opinion, I have to feel comfortable bringing you into my close, personal relationships.
By Sasha Two Pistols
August 13, 2008 9:50 AM | Link to this
Ladies, do you think that you are self-aware about your “relationship” self?—I think I am. I’m pretty much myself when I’m in a relationship, the only change is really a good, I’m more patient though. And if you know me, you would know that I can be quite impatient and impulsive about certain things. But in a relationship I’m more considerate, which is a good thing. But not to the point of being a push-over, cause I don’t play that.
Do you think you change when you become more involved in a relationship with a new guy?—Kind of goes with what I said in the above question. But I really try to check myself and make sure that I am still the same person around my man and my friends. And really being able to balance your other relationships is key here to me. I don’t like those people who only hang out with their significant other and totally isolates their male or guy friends, to me that is the worst change ever. You need to be able to still socialize with your people from time to time.
Have you ever dated a guy who showed his true colors after months of dating, that made you think, who ARE you and have we met!?—Months? Try weeks! LOL Basically, I had to take a step back and say to myself, Self, this is not what you want. My whole deal is, if I know I don’t want you around my friends, then you’re not the person for me. While I’m not going to base my decision on someone by my friends opinion, I have to feel comfortable bringing you into my close, personal relationships.
By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
August 13, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this
This is one topic I cannot leave alone…I have a number of t-shirts regarding this one.
The last two ladies I dated for more than a month gave new meaning to the word schizophrenic. Some times I felt like I was getting smacked like in the Sonic commercials. Both ladies were extremely passionate, and when they were good they were awesome, but the wind could change for no apparent reason 24 hours later.
Lady 1…we would spend hours making out like school kids, and the next day she would say she was leaving, or she could not be in a relationship, or not answering a call or text message…then a week or two later when I had “moved on” she would call and act like nothing had happened and want to know if I wanted to go out. Hellz, one time I thought it was over and it had been three weeks, she called me while I was on the observation deck of the Empire State Bldg, and acted like nothing ever happened and wanted to go out. Crazy woman…absolutely crazy.
Lady 2…we could spend a fabulous day together, her tell me a dozen times how much she loved me, and then the next day I’d get a “Dear Randy” letter. Then two weeks later I would get an email wanting to discuss the situation. That woman would do so many “360’s” that I never knew if I was coming or going. This happened a dozen times probably. When she was not experiencing some “hormonal” issues, the woman was incredible. Oh well, I’m sure she is safe in the arms of her ex-husband and maybe that is good.
Okay here is the most sexist comment you will ever hear me make…I think there is a streak of insanity in most if not all women. They would definitely make Spock from Star Trek totally crazy. I think that the only totally sane woman I have ever known was a lesbian I worked and was friends with…at least she KNEW what she wanted ;-).
Sorry WD, I know that there are crazy men out there…but women are in a category all their own!!!
Bill Murray said it best in “What About Bob,
“Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I’m Schizophrenic, and so am I”.
By AmazonRed
August 13, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this
Morning lovelies! Very nice responses from the ladies thus far. Randyt, you are a nut. LOL
Well, as my single self, there is no one in the world I know better. Outside of a relationship it’s “you…uninterrupted.” All your choices are yours without having to consider another party (within reason).
As for my relationship self, it’s a lot more fluid. Some relationships will bring out different side of your personalities, especially parts you may not use as often. LOL. I make many more missteps in my relationship self.
By Atl Lady
August 13, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this
RandytYou didn’have to go there with the Bill Murray joke!!LOL
On topicI am self aware of myself in a relationship. One thing that I do notice about myself when I’m dating someone is the EXTRA time I spend looking in the mirror and choosing outfits to wear when that stuff doesn’t matter when I’m out with my girls hanging or out with my guy friends hanging. I’m more about putting my best foot forward initiallyand then slowly allowing him to find out how much of a tomboy I can really become at times. As far as the impact on friends…I know that there are going to be some that aren’t going to mix well with my ideal guy. I have some people that I hang with occasionally that are not into too much culturally. Other than go out for drinks and dinner, I can’t take them anywhere because they act as if it’s over their heads. That’s cool, but don’t expect me to deny myself of the things I enjoy.
By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
August 13, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this
Hey AmazonRed I did not mean to get on a tangent, sorry. Actually if the truth was told, I suspect I am attracted to crazies maybe…seems to be a pattern anyway. Never a dull moment! LOL
By SexyLeggs
August 13, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this
Since I’m a straight shooter, I believe I represent “me” from day one. No, I don’t put everything on the table upfront. I don’t put on pretenses of being this nor that. I don’t flip the script. I’m not crazy! GET BACK HERE - DID YOU HEAR ME I’M NOT CRAZY. WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET!…Sorry, all jokes aside. I must admit it will be interesting to see if my relationship self is the same as the “me” self.
By Staceye AKA Black Mamba
August 13, 2008 10:14 AM | Link to this
Good Lord what a great topic Wise!! I always talk about the guys and their representative…whihc tends to go home between 3-6 months (6 months being the the most intense of course). Now, my problem is the me that is in a relationship is always looking out for myself as if I am not. You can’t trust people..guys in particular. So the same insecurities are there in the begining remain there. I am always consistant with my madness (as I have demonstrated on the blo since day one)! We all know it does not matter how pretty you are, how good you are in bed, how much fun, how smart,etc…guys for some reason cheat down. Have you ever wondered why the chick they cheat with is so much less in many or all ways than the one they have. But the say they are visual creatures…so do they go blind when they choose to creep. Or has the standard been lowered to being born female with a pulse? Now I will admit to having split personalities…lol. But I am not one of those girls who gets so wrapped up in a guy that I act differently and forget my friends…never have time fro my friends because I being an enema (up his azz). I do not let a guy become my life. My friends were there before him and after him. So I do not neglect them for a new piece of booty! But I have had friends who did that to me….I kicked them to the curb! Don’t use me now that he dumped you. I am no consolation prize! (May be mean…but oh the hell well…)
Aqualung * misrepresent PHYSICALLY with a weave (daily until December) and/or pantyhose and pushup bra (sometimes).* Too damn funny! LOL
Brooklyn Girl are you my sister from another mister? You sound like me. FREAKY! Maybe its an NY thang! Uptown whaaaat! LOL
Have you ever dated a guy who showed his true colors after months of dating, that made you think, who ARE you and have we met!? Yep..I had to cut a dude of in a matter of weeks. He was nuts! And for some reason..a year later this dude still calls me. I have not returned a call or email or text for this long. What is teh deal? Go away nutcase!
**
By Foots
August 13, 2008 10:19 AM | Link to this
Sasha Three Posts And really being able to balance your other relationships is key here to me. I don’t like those people who only hang out with their significant other..
That’s something that I try not to do either. We still schedule girl’s night out and since all of my SO’s friends are married with kids, I try to let him know in advance so that he can find somebody to do something with. This past Saturday, I had two girl’s only activities, which took up the whole day. He took that opportunity to hang out with family and friends also. When we finally got back together on Sunday, it was so much better for us having time apart with our folks.
He has a friend though, whose wife won’t let him out of her sight. What she doesn’t realize is that she’s keeping herself from having a good time also by trying to keep the leash on him. My friends and I like to get together, have dinner, travel, etc. I wouldn’t dare deny my man the things he likes to do, cause then I’d be expected to stay home all the time too. Maybe if I talk to her, I’ll get her to let the guys have their night out. Her husband would thank me. And really, she would too.
By abc
August 13, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this
The thing about self-actualization is that to pursue it, one must first satisfy other areas of their lives, such as survival, security, belonging, recognition. Google Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.
I thought yesterday’s topic was a bit odd, as I’ve never known men that would intentionally misrepresent themselves in order to get laid — please correct me if I’ve mis-stated the topic. I’ve read women saying so on this blog, but that’s the only exposure to such behavior I’ve ever heard of. No self-respecting man would stoop to being so roguish only to gain physical attention. To those chicks I say, stop hanging out in places full of such losers.
However, of course women mis-represent themselves. Yall really don’t need me to go into all that again!
By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
August 13, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this
Although, I don’t think I become a totally different person, I have found that when I become more emotionally invested in guy,some insecurities creep in and I have to keep them in check.
Being a little more serious for a moment, I think your quote above is a major player in what causes men to scratch their heads and say WTF…especially in the “single again” group. No one wants to get wounded again, and people start “thinking” too much…and making up problems where no problems exist. A lot of relationships are killed this way…ask me how I know.
By For Real
August 13, 2008 10:22 AM | Link to this
What up blog fam!
Ladies answer this question for me and please don’t get defensive.
How can you conduct “Self-Actualization” when it SEEMS that i) you lie to yourselves (i.e. makeup, pushup bras, weave, contacts, hair color, control top, high heels etc); ii) have no accountability (i.e. ain’t no good men, it’s a man shortage, he didn’t treat me right, he was a dawg, he used me, he ruined my credit, he couldn’t handle me, he got me pregnant etc…); iii) want a gold star or some sort special recognition for doing what adults are suppose to, and iv) the changes in your emotional states from moment to moment (i.e. happy, sad, trapped, free, excited, hopless, angry, sexy, too fat, too skinny, pretty, ugly, confident, insecure, scared, strong, in a rut, willing, unwilling, etc…)
I know we have discussed these same point in the past but before dismissing them let us look at them in a different light. From a male perspective, those things are what causes women to change once yall are in a relationship. Which is why I call women irrational.
Why does some many external things have so much impact on who you are? Can women exist in the “simple”? Do women believe if it not complicated it’s not true? Is content a bad thing to women? If so, why are you always striving for happiness then or does those two words mean something different to women?
By SexyCool
August 13, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this
from a behavioural standpoint…my relationship self and my single self is NOT the same…how could it be?
my single self is a flirtatious, always on the scene, man attracting free spirit…
my relationship self is a nester that caters (to a degree) to my man and our plans and activities and goals…
now…my belief system and personality does not change…but my behaviour/habits/interactions with the opposite sex? it has to…and anybody that says different is not being honest…
By Utopia
August 13, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this
I’m not certain how this will fit into today’s topic but as it relates not truly being the person represented or thought to be….I’m as sweet, loving and giving as deemed. If at any time during the course of the relationship, the getting to know one another stage or whatever road traveling and however we’re going to label this thing, as long as he stays true to the representative introduced we are good. If I discover at anytime, your true self (person not initially presented), we have a problem. I don’t necessarily think I become a different person per se, I think being misled causes emotions to run deep and brings out that other side.
By Poppa Grande
August 13, 2008 10:30 AM | Link to this
Good morning to all….
Randyt
Okay here is the most sexist comment you will ever hear me make…I think there is a streak of insanity in most if not all women.
I am with you on that one.
I have been asked what has kept my marriage going for so long? One of the first things that I say is that I know the “crazy” with which I live. The wife has heard me say it, too. It has kept me faithful as well. Why get involved with some other unknown crazy just because she has a big booty & a smile?(thanks Bell Biv Devoe) Or better yet have to deal with double crazy by having to deal with both of them? Its just not worth it.
Yes, I love her and all that other gushy stuff. However, I am sure that most men that cheated on their wives loved their wives.
On topic
As I state last week, I think that the insecurity thing about which WD speaks is a combination of self-actualization and self-preservation.
By MLL(mammalongleggs)
August 13, 2008 10:35 AM | Link to this
I agree Sexycool when I’m single I act accordingly and when I’m in a relationship I do like wise.
By Dan
August 13, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this
@For Real
Interesting (and accurate) post.
Now let’s watch the responses and see how many times it’s still the man’s fault
By SexyLeggs
August 13, 2008 10:38 AM | Link to this
…Can women exist in the “simple”? I have asked myself this question too many times looking at women. Yes, it’s important we keep ourselves together but all the artifical means some of us use baffles me. Simplicity is sexy! Don’t get me wrong, I do wear makeup I just don’t understand all the other stuff.
Now, we women are born to be nuturers. So, once we become involved this instinct automatically manifests itself in our treatment of the man we deem worthy. This is just another side of our true “self” that trickled over into our “relationship” self. Does this make sense to you?
By SexyCool
August 13, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this
correction…there is a streak of insanity in everybody…
anybody can act a like they got a plate in their head or a little wierd, off, crazy or whatever you wanna call it…
you just have to determine if YOU can deal with their BRAND of crazy…
By Dan
August 13, 2008 10:45 AM | Link to this
@Leggs
I think For Real was talking simple as in the moment.
Beyond the overly complicated explanations and mechinations of an overactive mind.
I think he was talking about not looking for deeper meaning to what men say, not looking for trouble (when there are no signs of any), and God help us just sitting in the simplicity of silence.
By Raqi
August 13, 2008 10:45 AM | Link to this
“…and anybody that says different is not being honest”
That is the honest truth.
By Atl Lady
August 13, 2008 10:45 AM | Link to this
For Real Since we family I agree to a certain extent about the makeup, weave, and accessories we put in place to attract men, but a lot of it has only do it to be the best looking in our minds. A lot of that also plays into our own insecurities of how we think we’re supposed to look. Some people take longer to become happy with who they truly are through and through. I know it took me awhile before I had to settle that I was a little bit country (Gardening, cooking, sewing, some crafts, sports) and a little bit city (Plays and nights out on the town). I tell people when I’m having a PMS day and to leave me alone until I can shake the funk. That’s a part of life and living. You’re funny a$$ hell in here, but when you spent the entire day blog debating with ABC, that was something I hadn’t seen (I don’t recall). Refreshing, but different. Am I still yo gurl? Do ya get a bigger picture?
By Poppa Grande
August 13, 2008 10:47 AM | Link to this
For Real
Very good post.
Staceye
But I am not one of those girls who gets so wrapped up in a guy that I act differently and forget my friends…never have time fro my friends because I being an enema (up his azz).
My wife is the same way. We made it clear to each other early on that our friends are part of the package. Our true friends..that is..so it isn’t that many that you call as such. The friends were there for me before I knew that she existed. And the same went for me.
By For Real
August 13, 2008 10:47 AM | Link to this
See ladies this is how you change. Every description each of you gave end with a “BUT”. Why/How can you divide yourselves into single and relationship selves? Isn’t that a clear sign that you will change?
Chick: Oh baby I love you soooooo much. I am just sooo happy to be in this relationship with you.
*Chick Single Self: You better enjoy it while it last bc as soon I am able to bust Relationship self in the head to the white meat. It’s on!!
Dude: Yeah me too we just got nice grove going.
Relationship Self: OUCHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Somebody just busted my head to the white meat!!!
Chick: You know what this ish ain’t working for me. You hold me back. I can do a whole lot better than you. You ain’t worthy of me.
Dude: WTF!!!!
By AmazonRed
August 13, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this
One of the first things that I say is that I know the “crazy” with which I live.
LOL. PG, it’s good to hear you say that and still want to be with her. I do have my crazy moments and I let them be known. I’m an investigator and a seeker of truth. Beau is fully aware of what I’m capable of and I know he’s not always pleased. However, I’d rather be upfront about my crazy rather than be one of those sneaky ones. LOL
By "Longtime Lurker"
August 13, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this
Guys, do you agree with my buddy when he says that women aren’t who they think they are in terms of personality, character, etc.?
Absolutely!!!!!!!! It happens 9 out of 10 times!
I feel that a high percentage of women have insecurity issues and when they meet a man that appears to have themselves together, they get scared that they will be exposed for who they truly are! I have always said that most women live in a fantasy world and most feel that they control when they will meet the right person, have kids, get married, etc.
You see, when you go out with guys who are thugs, below average, etc., they don’t care about the real person, they just want your company and most of all your sex, so you are in a safe spot, but when you deal with a man of substance, he will examine you inside and out and read into what you really are! Women know this and when they start dealing with a man and see that he is solid, they become scared in most cases and retreat.
It’s almost like..:Humm..I have found the man of my dreams, but I am not together, so he will be my d*ck in the bottle until I get my self together, I hope he is not taken when I am ready!
Atlanta is the frontin capital of the world and I think it is more socially acceptable to be plastic than Teflon.
Have you ever dated a woman who started out behaving one way, and then as you two became serious, she totally flipped the script on you? How did you handle it?
Again, this happens often, because most women say they want a good man, but in reality they don’t, until they feel that they are ready to accept a good man into their lives and on their terms!
I find that more and more women will shield who they really are, because of fear that that man will not accept them for who they really are. This amazes me, because the person you want to have longevity with is that person who will accept you flaws and all, not the person who wants you when you are complete!
Dating to me is like navigating through a field of landmines, one wrong move and you are done!
By abc
August 13, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this
“Women are Nurturers”.
How are women nurturing to the men in their lives? They nurture children in obvious ways, but what exactly do you think you do to nurture men, and what do you nurture in them?
By Dan
August 13, 2008 10:53 AM | Link to this
Part of being self-actualized
Realizing that the “relationship” you and the “single” you are one in the same person
And learning to reconcile those competing desires….
By SexyCool
August 13, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this
Why does some many external things have so much impact on who you are?
sometimes…it’s NOT an external influence that causes women to be who they are on any given day…believe it or not…the hormonal changes that a woman experiences throughout the phases of her cycle can have an amazing impact on her moods, emotions, physical well being and so on…
until i learned to pay better attention to my inner self and really get in tune with the biological changes in my body…i, myself, thought i was as loony as could be…
and while society tends to joke about PMS and the even more serious PMDD…it is actually quite serious…
so…i advise women to become more in tune with their physical selves and realize what an impact it can have on your mental/emotional self and learn the skills to manage the changes that occur within your bodies…
and i advise men to take a step back and instead of just calling a woman crazy…take into account that she just may be dealing with physiological changes within her body that even she is not aware of how they affect her psyche…
i now climb down off my soapbox…i could go on…
By Dan
August 13, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this
@LLurker
Precient post…just ran across that situation myself.
By SexyCool
August 13, 2008 11:03 AM | Link to this
dan…that was so NOT a profound statement…of course, we are one and the same person…i mean it’s not like we can morph into another body…
seriously though…that’s like saying my professional me and my hanging out with my folks me are not the same…
or that my saturday night club me and my sunday morning church me are not the same…
it’s all me…just the behaviours are different…behaving according to a situation does not make you a different person…it’s just that you assimilate into the environment in which you exist…
By Foots
August 13, 2008 11:05 AM | Link to this
Dan just ran across that situation myself.
Which situation? The one where you met a woman and she got scared because you had more of your stuff together than she did?
By SexyLeggs
August 13, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this
Thank you SexyCool for changing the word “women” to “everybody”!
Oh, ok Dan.
Women are nuturers to the men in their lives by providing nourishment to their mind (conversationalist), body (sexual) and soul (makes them want to be a better person whether its being more patient, more benevolent, do more volunteer work, whatever it might be. You can define nourishment anyway you like.
By Dan
August 13, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this
@Sexy
I response to For Real’s post you offered an excuse about hormones, then in reply to my ^5 on his statement, you replay about different personalities….
I refer you to the post:
ii) have no accountability (i.e. ain’t no good men, it’s a man shortage, he didn’t treat me right, he was a dawg, he used me, he ruined my credit, he couldn’t handle me, he got me pregnant etc…)
There is no but, no hormonal change, no event or environment….just you
When can we just hear that
By Raqi
August 13, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this
Sexycool the problem is men don’t want to believe that we actually experience hormonal changes during that time. Because the don’t understand it they choose not to believe it.
Not only do we women need to recognize the oncoming changes, but a man that has spent some time with a woman should began to recognize them too. That way saving himself much aggravation. And he needs to understand we have no full control of the emotional rollercoaster. There is only so much adjusting we can do to try to tame it.
It’s funny now because sometimes before I even grasp the time I will hear from my life mate “it must be that time of the month”.
By AmazonRed
August 13, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this
Why does some many external things have so much impact on who you are? Can women exist in the “simple”?
LOL. I’ll raise my hand. Cuz that’s me, no make up, all my real hair, nails, etc. Take me as I’m: flat chested, nibbled nails, non designer threads and all. Growing up in a “teflon” society can sometimes make you appreciate those comfortabe in your own skin. Many people aren’t tho.
By Poppa Grande
August 13, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this
AR
Don’t get me wrong. I know that what she terms “my quiet strength” annoys her as well.
SexyCool
correction…there is a streak of insanity in everybody…
That is a true statement.
However, that’s not what we are talking about. What Randyt and I (and others) are speaking of a simple term called “consistency”.
How can you switch moods all so quickly? I love my wife but there are days that I feel that behavior comes out of the blue. She’ll try to put it on me with a “you don’t listen to me” remark. Which isn’t always true.
By Atl Lady
August 13, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this
ABC It depends on who the man is and how he reacts? I would hope that any man I’m in a serious relationship with can fully relax and not be onguard all the time. I think of myself as the potential ‘helpmeet’. WE collectively work together and if I can do anything to make it easier that’s my role. Not everyman is able to be nutured. Who really knows what was on their path to get to where he is today and how he handled walking that road to her. Is he angry? Is he a con? Is he an abuser? Some men don’t care if she can do the things some women like to do to show love such as cook, clean, and groom (pop pimples, pull ingrown hairs, scratch his scalp, etc.). OR am I over simplifying your question? Did I answer your question?
By Dan
August 13, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this
@Foots
yeah, after a fashion I did.
By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
August 13, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this
and i advise men to take a step back and instead of just calling a woman crazy…take into account that she just may be dealing with physiological changes within her body that even she is not aware of how they affect her psyche…
Men cannot walk back that fast, LOL. Honestly, when I was married, my wife had usually 5-7 days of PMS. Some women get weepy, some women get insecure, she just got dayum mean. I could see the craziness in her eyes when it was starting and I knew before she did. For the first few days, I would try hard to just bite my tongue, but around the 4th day I’d crack and snap back…and women DO NOT like PMS being brought to their attention, LOL (no way, no how!!!). Much prefer the “on fire with a spear through their chest”. Like I said before, after the John Wayne Bobbitt episode, I would sleep on my stomach for a week when her PMS rolled around.
By Raqi
August 13, 2008 11:12 AM | Link to this
My sister suffers from PMDD and growing up with her, even me being a like woman thought she was a total nutcase. But now I know.
By abc
August 13, 2008 11:15 AM | Link to this
Anyone would be those things to their significant interest, though, SexyLeggs. Those aren’t specific to females.
Anyone can be a conversationalist. A female isn’t providing a nourishment through sex any more than a man does.
Now, I’ve heard that women think they have an effect on a man’s ‘soul’ by influencing them to be more patient, benevolent, volunteer more, etc., but I don’t buy it. People will respond in those ways either through force of their own personality or through emulation of those they admire, but not through some kind of so-called nurturing that some chick thinks she provides. You’re kidding yourselves — no, deluding yourselves.
By Beautiful
August 13, 2008 11:15 AM | Link to this
question what is up with these thick females and these tight azz clothes. bytch buy a LARGE! their boobs poppin’ all out and the love handles wanting to escape. they get more play than me. and then got the nerve to sit at their desk and SNACK ALL DAY! lawd jeezus.
fellas is that ^^^ sexy? must be … gotta be. smh. yea, i’m hatin’. so! don’t make no dayum sense!!!
venting.
hey MLL!
By SexyLeggs
August 13, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this
I’m with you ARed, but I do wear make-up (not much but some)!!
By m'karyl
August 13, 2008 11:17 AM | Link to this
@Dan
I feel you on re: being one and the same person…some ppl take for granted that it is indeed the same person…yes, in presence…but not necessarily on a emotional basis…I have seen how ppl with whom a non-emotionally based relationship produces one personality and when it changes to an emotional based relationship, then the personality of the person changes…and it is dayummmed annoying, to say the least…the emotional jekyll and hyde syndrome…no thank you.
By AmazonRed
August 13, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this
Don’t get me wrong. I know that what she terms “my quiet strength” annoys her as well.
Poppa G, oh I know full well that you probably grate her nerves quite frequently. You’re a guy. LOL ;-)
By SlimDiva
August 13, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this
I am VERY self-aware about my ‘relationship’ self. Changing who I am basically depends on how much I really am attracted to the guy, whether or not we have a true connection and if I’m sincerely interested in being involved for the long haul. Recently, I became a little insecure because I realized that my emotions and feelings were growing deep and strong more rapidly than I wanted them to. I was afraid to fall in love with him, although I VERY MUCH WANT TO DO THAT. However, I allowed past baggage/mistakes to create doubt in mind of whether or not I am worthy of him or if he’s worthy of having me.
I’ve since re-evaluated my feelings and what I want and have resulted into changing my UNUSUAL ‘neurotic’ behavior. The good part was that I was able to recognize and understand that my behavior had become unusual. I was saying and doing things that I wasn’t accustomed to doing it. I had to change that negative behavior and return to the person who I TRULY AM!! The question is will he be willing to accept the fact that I allowed fears to interfere in our relationship and go from there.
I have met men who begin being kind…calling often, saying what I wanted to hear. Later….whether it’s a few weeks or months, these same men flipped the script…avoiding phone calls, distancing themselves, not having their words as their bond, etc. We have to be able to recognize when changes occur and seek to correct the problem and move on. If he ain’t gonna love me the way he should…I let it go!!!
By Chink
August 13, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this
I was listening to something like this on the radio this morning ….
BRAIN RULE RUNDOWN Rule #11: Male and female brains are different.
What’s different? Mental health professionals have known for years about sex-based differences in the type and severity of psychiatric disorders. Males are more severely afflicted by schizophrenia than females. By more than 2 to 1, women are more likely to get depressed than men, a figure that shows up just after puberty and remains stable for the next 50 years. Males exhibit more antisocial behavior. Females have more anxiety. Most alcoholics and drug addicts are male. Most anorexics are female. Men and women handle acute stress differently. When researcher Larry Cahill showed them slasher films, men fired up the amygdale in their brain’s right hemisphere, which is responsible for the gist of an event. Their left was comparatively silent. Women lit up their left amygdale, the one responsible for details. Having a team that simultaneously understood the gist and details of a given stressful situation helped us conquer the world. Men and women process certain emotions differently. Emotions are useful. They make the brain pay attention. These differences are a product of complex interactions between nature and nurture.
http://www.brainrules.net/gender
It makes alot of sense people. Read up on it.
By SexyCool
August 13, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this
not an excuse, sweetie, fact…
another fact…i’m not one of those whose always singing the he done me wrong songs…i don’t have a problem taking responsibility for my state of being…
as to the statements that you chose to outline…
1 - i know several GOOD men and have a GOOD man… 2 - there was never a man shortage me for me…i’ve never had a problem meeting men… 3 - if a man didn’t treat me right…it was because i allowed him to…however, being in those situations, i have had enough sense to get dah#ll on… 4 - some men ARE dawgs, some men do use women and some men do ruin women’s credit…however…so do some women… 5 - he couldn’t handle me…i, for one, HATE to hear women say that crap…maybe he just wasn’t the man for you…or maybe your habit of dominating (albeit a forced habit learned as a survival tactic) drove the man away and he didn’t want to deal with your bossy butt… 6 - i ain’t never said this…cause can’t nobody get me pregnant by themselves…the two times that i have ever been pregnant…i promise you that i was there and participating…now…as to your statement dismissing hormonal changes…GTFOH with that…let your body start producing too little or too much or in some way inhibiting the biological functions that stand up your willie and see if YOUR behind don’t act different…
By m'karyl
August 13, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this
Funny…I have suffered from severe PMS for the last 22 years…it took me 5 years to understnad what was happening to me because I did not realize how the hormonal shifts could alter emotional and psychological temperment…but what I have found is that I am all way cool with the situation as long as I do not have emotional stresses in my space…so, while I do admit that the PMS behaviors/attitudes are very real…I also believe that they can be controlled…diet…emotional stress levels…a good doob…lol…what I have learned is not to entertain anyone who imposes any emotional stress on my space…no one…period.
By Dan
August 13, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this
So let me get this straight:
In relation to have we met?
You ladies are saying you haven’t met you or the you that you can/will become on a given day?
woooooowwwww
By SexyLeggs
August 13, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this
I started to put men do this too, but he asked how are “women nuturers”? Just defined the word “nuture”. Nothing more nothing less. Better examples can be given, but these 3 popped in my head first. Some men are clueless about nurturing the psyche of a woman!
By "Longtime Lurker"
August 13, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this
@Beautiful On your 11:15, its not the size of those women that are attracting dudes, its their fun attitudes and confidence that attracts dudes to them.
Ya see, most men are tired of dealing with chicks that have great bods and/or looks, but jacked up attitudes!
Insecurity is a major turnoff as well! Most men want to be around fun women, who will push the boundaries and bring in a “fun factor” a little freak neva hurts a situation either!
Confident chicks will win out every time!
By Foots
August 13, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this
LL I find that more and more women will shield who they really are, because of fear that that man will not accept them for who they really are
Do you think that this may happen in some cases because some men don’t really expect women to be women, meaning who we are mentally and emotionally, and therefore cannot appreciate the differences between the sexes? Some men want women to act like men in many ways. I ask because we hear often how men don’t want women to get emotionally involved with sex (that’s what women do), how men don’t like the fact that a woman can be emotional (yes, women have hormonal fluctuations from time to time), how men expect women to not look for deeper meaning to what men say (women are intuitive and often try to intuit what is meant from what is said), etc. When women are quiet with each other, it means that something is wrong (or that we’ve run out of things to say), and when something is wrong, we talk about it. Can a man really understand and accept why a woman sometimes feels the need to bridge the silence gap when she is with him?
When anyone, man or woman, cannot truly accept that there are differences between us and continually try to change the other person into being what they would like for them to be and how they would like for them to behave, what is the usual result? Do people who want to be accepted by someone who can’t accept their true nature try to hide their nature, or do they expose their true nature and try to find someone who can accept them?
Hopefully, it’s the latter, and you’ll find that men will grow more accepting of the things that make women women, even the parts that they don’t really understand. That way, there will be no need to hide anything.
By abc
August 13, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this
Cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc… I understand that some women think of that as being nurturing, but to me, it sounds like being a maid. Of course, the motivation for so doing is different for someone actually hired to be a maid, but the duties are the same. I have learned that to discount a woman’s perspective on the value of such ‘nurturing’ is to invite a cast iron skillet to land on one’s head. Likewise, if a man doesn’t show up and pitch in on the same things that the same woman will call nuturing, i.e. a man had better do some housework (it’ll never be adequate though), he’s going to get the same skillet upside his head.
I tend to think that women are great at nurturing children, who need such attention, but misplace the idea of doing the same thing for men. Men neither want nor need such so-called nurturing. It’s a fallacy, anyway.
By Beautiful
August 13, 2008 11:29 AM | Link to this
why are you guys surprised by us switchin’ up from cold to hot? this is the way we are … daily. there’s the extreme and not so. go back and read that 11:22 again. He made us like this on purpose.
By Tazzee
August 13, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this
Morning Folks!
I was talking to a guy about this the other day and he said ‘you women are complicated’ and I agreed. I know my relationship self is different than my single self - there’s no way we can be the same. There are many different facets to me and you won’t see all of them until certain circumstances bring them out. It’s as simple as that.
Certain events/people bring out different reactions from me. That’s not me changing, that’s just another part of Tazzee being revealed.
Now to seriously address For Real’s post:
i) you lie to yourselves (i.e. makeup, pushup bras, weave, contacts, hair color, control top, high heels etc); That’s not lying to myself - I know what I look like before I put on that bra and I prefer how I look in a shirt after I put on that bra. Now you may say I’m lying to a man, but if a man doesn’t know by now that a 38 year old woman’s breasts are going to droop when she takes of the bra - then he needs to catch a clue.
ii) have no accountability (i.e. ain’t no good men, it’s a man shortage, he didn’t treat me right, he was a dawg, he used me, he ruined my credit, he couldn’t handle me, he got me pregnant etc…); I must agree that there are some women who feel this way. I can’t say that I fall into that category. Just last night I was talking to a guy about my choice to abstain and he said he would never even try to have sex with me because he didn’t want me mad at him. I explained to him that in those times when I did ‘slip’ and have sex, it happened because I wanted it to and not once did I blame the guy. Even when I get my heart broke - I look at it from the standpoint of what did I do to fall for the okey doke, or at what point didn’t I follow my intuition.
iii) want a gold star or some sort special recognition for doing what adults are suppose to, Again, there are some women that do this - particularly as it comes to raising children alone or taking care of herself, but that is not the case with me. Any gold stars I get are the ones I give myself. I don’t need anyone to toot my horn.
iv) the changes in your emotional states from moment to moment (i.e. happy, sad, trapped, free, excited, hopless, angry, sexy, too fat, too skinny, pretty, ugly, confident, insecure, scared, strong, in a rut, willing, unwilling, etc…) That’s just part of our make-up. Some of it is hormonal and some is not. Men don’t want to accept it, but that’s just how we are and at some point you men have to stop trying to change that part of us. Some women can fake the funk for a while - may even fake it until she reaches the altar, but after a while, this change is going to manifest. So don’t get mad at us if you get duped by it.
By mqew
August 13, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this
Dan When can we just hear that
Mornin peeps…. I love it! Sounds like women are beating the chests round here. It sounds like someone is being good abc know this is a topic you hold true to heart ;-)
Is this what yall have to deal with as a single person? Men that don’t know that women can and will be crazy?
I mean really, yall know yall had to question your mother be thinkin that heifer is off her rocker as a youngin.
Since we have to navigate through the madness, we do what we do. It amazes me how some think that we’re suppose to respond to life love and the pursuit of happiness like men…. that of which we are not….
By Beautiful
August 13, 2008 11:33 AM | Link to this
Longtime Lurker i hear you. just venting.
By Atl Lady
August 13, 2008 11:35 AM | Link to this
ABCYou asked a question and we attempted to answer, but as always you’re dismissive and condescending to all who are beneath your IQ level. I apologize for looking like a chicken while flying amongst the eagles.
By Dan
August 13, 2008 11:35 AM | Link to this
So let me get this straight:
In relation to have we met?
You ladies are saying you haven’t met you or the you that you can/will become on a given day?
woooooowwwww
By For Real
August 13, 2008 11:35 AM | Link to this
Raqi the problem is men don’t want to believe that we actually experience hormonal changes during that time
No men understand the hormonal changes and we know they exist because we are on the end of the majority of its ish.
And he needs to understand we have no full control of the emotional rollercoaster. There is only so much adjusting we can do to try to tame it.
Now here is where we have the problem with yall, funny how you say you don’t have “full control of the emotional rollercoaster” yet when you are at work you are able to control those very same emotions that you claim to us that you cannot. If you can control them at work then you dayumm well can control them at home. There isn’t a woman on this blog that would date man that said due “to hormonal reasons I can’t control my emotions so when I cuss yo azz out or slap the enamel off your teeth, don’t hold it against me it’s just my hormons.” Like I said how can you be honest with yourselves or conduct a self-actualization when you have no accountability for yourselves?
By AmazonRed
August 13, 2008 11:36 AM | Link to this
Great post on your 11:22 SexyCool. I co-sign on it all, except for #6 since it hasn’t happened for me yet.
By SexyLeggs
August 13, 2008 11:36 AM | Link to this
…Cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc… I understand that some women think of that as being nurturing I feel sorry for any woman who thinks that’s being nurturing.
Yes, I wholeheartedly agree that nurturing is best done with children. Providing nourishment to children. I simply was trying to find “nourishment” toward an adult.
By John Doe
August 13, 2008 11:40 AM | Link to this
Self actualization? And just WHO is the self?
A woman has to deal with reality as her sexual self “actualizes” during her first period of menstration at age 12 or 13, which the Chinese Gymnasts at the Beijing Olympics have obviously never experienced..
Men never have to face any reality at all, except about how good it feels.
The woman is human being, of whose attributes include escapism, which includes getting drunk and dancing like a skank-ho…or laughing at pathetic attempts at humor by horny men, who are only trying to be funny because Cosmopolitan magazine surveys told them that all women admire a sense of humor first, then the wallet, then the prowess, then the virtue, then the eyes, (insert eyeroll here).
A woman is complex only because we’re all complex, that is, we cant stand being in the company of ourselves, and we always pick we, dont we?
Google this.
We only despise in others what we see in them of ourselves. We ultimately become that which we most despise.
None of us have a chance.
I’m available, BTW, Wisediva.
By cutielocs
August 13, 2008 11:41 AM | Link to this
Interesting topic. Nothing irks me more than watching one of my girlfriends change to make themselves fit with a guy. My best friend has a tendancy to become clingy and whiny to her bf, especially if he has a dominating personality. Another friend of mine decided she wanted the guy she was interested in to think she was a sports buff so she researched the stats for his favorite team and recited them at apprpriate times during the game. Imagine his surprise when he bought them tickets for a f-ball game and she was completely uninterested in going. I think at some level we all put our best foot forward when we first meet someone, but that is completely different than changing who you are to be “compatible”. It really comes down to being comfortable in your skin and accepting the fact that you may or may not mesh with every guy you meet, but that’s okay. Just my humble opinion.
By Dan
August 13, 2008 11:41 AM | Link to this
For Real….
Dropping knowledge!
I like that!
By abc
August 13, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this
I don’t think I’m dismissive or condescending. I just put it out there.
Tell me, what is it about cooking and all that that is nurturing? I know my girl feels that way about it, she’s a better cook than I am, and she enjoys providing that for us — but is that nurturing? Is my holding down a job nurturing, too?
To me, it’s just both of us doing what we need to do to live. I’d take her out every night of the week, it’s all the same to me, except I know she has some self-value placed on her ability to provide excellent meals, and I like her cooking. She’s not the maid, though.
By Tazzee
August 13, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this
SexyCool your 11:03 was so on point. The funny thing is, men want us to be able to switch it up. How many times have we heard we need to leave that Corporate competitive spirit at work? Makes me think of that book that woman wrote about the many different roles women have to play in life.
By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
August 13, 2008 11:46 AM | Link to this
For Real
LMAO for that 11:35 post…that is soooooo true. We know, we even try to be understanding…but one can only hide so long and take so much ish before we shoot back.
There was a radio show years ago called “Red Neckerson” (satire). He said he was watching one of those old Wolfman movies where the guy needed to be chained to the wall in the basement until the full moon passed. Said he was watching when he found himself thinking about his wife’s PMS…
By Beautiful
August 13, 2008 11:46 AM | Link to this
for real If you can control them at work then you dayumm well can control them at home.
then if i ask you a question … answer!
if we are having a discussion … don’t walk away!
if i really need us time … don’t say after this goes off!
By AmazonRed
August 13, 2008 11:46 AM | Link to this
Never being one who suffered greatly from PMS to begin with, being on the pill and therefore eliminating ovulation pretty much ended PMS for me.
If I’m moody it’s because you’ve put me in a bad mood and not one to hold things in, I’ll let you know so that nothing festers and explodes. Acknowlegding my annoyance to the person who caused it doesn’t mean everyone gets the wrath either, just the source. LOL
By SexyCool
August 13, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this
for real…for me and only speaking for me…
realizing that my mood