Misadventures in Atlanta

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

August 19, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this

Hellooooooo……anybody home??

By Tara

August 19, 2008 11:19 AM | Link to this

Moments like those are the reason I’m so glad all of my exes live in other states! Otherwise, with my luck, I wouldn’t be seeing them while looking sexy on the dance floor. I’d see them during 2 a.m. emergency TP run wearing pajamas.

By Tara

August 19, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this

Moments like those are the reason I’m so glad all of my exes live in other states! Otherwise, with my luck, I wouldn’t be seeing them while looking sexy on the dance floor. I’d see them during 2 a.m. emergency TP run wearing pajamas.

By Tazzee

August 19, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

WHAT??? I’m the first one to post - I’m sure the rest of the crew is BLBing it right now.

When I run into exes I hold my head high and engage them. There’s only one ex I hold any animosity towards and even with him, I’ll speak and be cordial.

In no way am I going to let an ex take my joy. Blanca, I’m glad your friend was able to get her mojo back and send him running with his tail between his legs.

By Lady Sage aka Kym

August 19, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this

How have you handled running into exes when the breakup still hurts?

Hmmm never had this to really happen..but if it does I am not one for running..or showing how much I am hurt not in public anyway.

Did you hold your head high and engage them, or keep your distance?

Think I would do a combo of all three head high, speak and say hello..but handle him with a long handle spoon.

And at what moment did you know you had finally broken free of breakup blahs?

Ohh thats easy when you are no longer letting that person consume your thoughts..when in those quiet moments of reflection you and sit and your first thought is not about something they said or did. When you and your friends are sitting around one day and someone goes “Whateva happen to so and so?” and you can sit there and say heck if I know.”

By Tazzee

August 19, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this

guess I wasn’t the first

Tara All of my exes live in other states too, so when I do see them, I’m pretty much together. But you’re right I wouldn’t want to see an ex when I was looking ragged, LOL

By Leggs

August 19, 2008 11:29 AM | Link to this

Well, a few of us are having fun w/yesterday’s blog. It’s still open. If I were to run into an ex it would be ok w/me. I’m friends with all that I dated. We would probably kiss on the cheek hello, say hello, chit chat a little and keep it moving. In the back of my mind as I’m walking away, I would say to myself “sure am glad I looked good today.” Anyway, glad her friend was there to help snap her out of things.

While walking with my then husband at a mall he spotted his ex-wife. Instead of greeting her and perhaps introducing us, he left me standing in the middle of the hall and ran into some store. He was actually shaking and afraid to confront her. If I wasn’t already married to him, I may have stopped dating in just on GP!

By Leggs

August 19, 2008 11:41 AM | Link to this

I may have stopped dating in just on GP! is translated to mean:

I may have stopped dating him just for general purposes!

By Beautiful

August 19, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this

i’m a coward. i won’t face my ex … ever! he knows this and respects my wishes.

waving to blogsville

By unhappy camper

August 19, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this

has anyone on here tuly maintain a platonic friendship with a FWB partner after it is over and if so how long was the time frame of accepting it moving on and still being friends process??? Or just the two fade away and never hook up again? I almost hate using the word FRIEND with the opposite sex and with past lovers because I truly don’t know how to be friends with someone I want and can’t have…Chime in please!

By LivedNLearned

August 19, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this

If ever I see an ex, it’s a welcomed surprise. It doesn’t occur often, like the cressant moon, but when it does I’m always delighted that I have a rule not to go anywhere looking half azzed.

The last ex I ran into saw me first. He walked up behind me and tapped my shoulder and I turned around to the biggest smile I think I’ve ever seen. No bad blood is between us, so it was like seeing an old friend you’ve outgrown.

By m'karyl

August 19, 2008 11:51 AM | Link to this

Once I am over it…I am over it…so encountering ex(as few as there have been) is not an issue…funny thing also is that I have had several former flames who had attempted to come back into my space post-involvement…only to wonder why I was to struck by them in the first place…whatever emotional value a relationship had for me is done when the relationship is done…I wish them all well…but, of course being the M’Divine that I am…I do make certain that they get an eyeful (cause we know they are looking…lol) of me in all of my gregarious, playful, fun-loving self in expression galore…*one monkey don’t stop no show…if you don’t want my love…then you are free to go…I love you…but I can live without you…cause one monkey, don’t stop no show…Honeycombs, I do believe.

By Page1908

August 19, 2008 11:55 AM | Link to this

Leggs LOL at my other post. Girl, dude said he had some bad mushrooms! I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t know which was worse…the UTI or the Unibrow! ctfu

Staceye needs to go back and read that one and comment lol. You know she is a stone fool lol.

By Nemesis

August 19, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this

Whenever I see my ex, I make sure he see’s what he’s missing. My friends and I were out one night and he and his girlfriend( I guess) were together and my friend pointed them out. She was very uncute so I just laughed, walked over and spoke to him to let him know that I saw him and his troll. I think he was uncomfortable because I was fly diva as usual and the men were definitely confirming it.

By Leggs

August 19, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this

unhappy camper, I speak from experience. I dated this guy back in the 80’s. We were on again off again. We stopped seeing each other exclusively at some point and remained friends. He married someone other than asking me. I remember crying on the stairs in my house the morning of his wedding. He tried to hookup w/me many times during his marriage but I would never give him. I in turn married. I’ve stayed friends with him over the years and during his marriage. Our spouses knew each other. Things remained platonic. To this day we are still friends and we are both divorced. Can’t hook up w/him because I know he’s only concerned with puddy and making $$. That’s about it. No dating, no going out, nada. Since I recognize this I have to keep it movig. camper sounds like your situation is relatively new and the hurt is palpable. Since YOU know you can’t be friends with someone you want and can’t have then don’t. Heal your heart at a distance. You aren’t ready to be a friend to him. You may never be ready. Remember, he entered your life at that particular time for a particular reason. Perhaps he’s not meant to enter your future.

By Lady Sage aka Kym

August 19, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this

Has anyone on here tuly maintain a platonic friendship with a FWB partner after it is over and if so how long was the time frame of accepting it moving on and still being friends process???

Yep, I have and it lasted for well over 15 plus years..(give or take 5 or 6) and I guess could or would have gone longer until I realized that as the friend I was also the personal garbage dump and after every convo I felt like I was completely drained. While I cared alot for him I couldn’t keep doing that to myself. As I had to be reminded nothing wrong with loving and caring for someone but no one is going to love and care for you better than you.

By Leggs

August 19, 2008 11:58 AM | Link to this

Honeycombs is right (LOL)!

By m'karyl

August 19, 2008 11:59 AM | Link to this

has anyone on here tuly maintain a platonic friendship with a FWB partner after it is over and if so how long was the time frame of accepting it moving on and still being friends process???

Yes, I have done so with a few formers…there were not any real emotionally devasting reasons for ending the relationships…it was just time for of us or the both to move on to other things…or something…I would prefer to maintain good relationships with former flames…I do not see the need to harbor negative feelings for the relationship because it only embitters my heart and emotional well-being…one thing that I have learned is it not always the other’s fault when a relationship did not work out…I did choose to be in it…so maybe I choose the wrong fit for me…but that does not mean that the other was bad person…something sparked my interest in him…and usually the qualities that I appreciated in him as a person, I can truly still value as a friend.

By Tazzee

August 19, 2008 11:59 AM | Link to this

m’karyl I’ve seen that play but never really listened to the lyrics to that song.

Page1908 I knew a guy that told me all about his ailments and some of them had to do with his plumbing. He was a really nice guy and one day he was driving me home from a date and started telling me about his doctor visits. I was sitting in the passenger seat thinking ‘Lord, please don’t let us get caught by another light’

I guess I asked for it because he mentioned going to see his internist and his allergist and I jokingly said ‘How many doctors do you have?’ That’s when I got the lowdown on his many doctors and the time he had to get his babymaker drained - or something like that…

By Atl Lady

August 19, 2008 11:59 AM | Link to this

Unhappy camperYou seem so down. Give yourself time to heal. The only way you can be friends with an ex-lover is if you were friends in your relationship. Don’t get me wrong it’s not always easy but it can be acheived. However, don’t feel guilty if you can’t do it right away.

I believe the IT dept of AJC is vying for a raise

By SlimOne

August 19, 2008 12:01 PM | Link to this

Camper has anyone on here tuly maintain a platonic friendship with a FWB partner after it is over and if so how long was the time frame of accepting it moving on and still being friends process? I’m not sure if i would call it ‘friends’ since we hardly call each other but it’s never really the same. However, you seem to be emotionally involved since you said “I truly don’t know how to be friends with someone I want and can’t have”….In my case, I didn’t want to be with that person and had no emotional tie. YOU on the other hand need to walk away now. If you’re emotionally invested in this person who is obviously not available to you, being friends is not an option. You’ll find yourself angry every time you all end up in the sack again. Some guys will use the situation to their advantage, especially if they’ve given you the DISCLAIMER that you and them can’t be in a r’ship. So you are soley held accountable for how YOU feel.

My advice would be to leave it alone and find someone who is available to you….Is this dude married or something?

By Just Me

August 19, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this

Whenever I come across an ex, I’m cordial and keep on moving.

I would have to shake my friend back into reality. He’s the past, history, forgotten. So keep it classy!!!

By tues

August 19, 2008 12:07 PM | Link to this

Have any one ever been in what u though was a committed relationship & just out the blue u stop hearing from that person. I was involved with a guy for almost a year, met his folks, he treated me well & then one day nothing. I wasnt in love with him & was starting to lose interest anyway but I was just shock that a man his age would of handled that, that way. This was new to me & just wondering is this common. I know i have not returned calles before but it was just with someone who was interested in me, not someone I was in a relationship with.

By Page1908

August 19, 2008 12:09 PM | Link to this

Tazzee LOL sheesh! I guess you did see that coming when you jokingly asked how many doctors he had, but all I asked dude was “is everything ok”? All he had to say is “yes”. It just seemed like TMI, you know. It’s not like we were best friends or whatever, I just met him!

By unhappy camper

August 19, 2008 12:10 PM | Link to this

not married just not available to me and no emotional ties to me…

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 19, 2008 12:16 PM | Link to this

Seeing the ex: fight or flight? stick my tongue out at him and continue enjoying myself LOL

NEVER EVER LET EM SEE YOU SWEAT

By m'karyl

August 19, 2008 12:18 PM | Link to this

@Taz

Love the lyrics to my songs…got one for evry mood…issue…name it…got a groove for it…

**The show must go on

Oh, one monkey Don’t stop no show If you don’t want my love You’re free to go (You can go, you can go, you can go)

Life is a play We play different parts But to be a star in love You’ve got to feel it in your heart

You’ve been acting to strange You don’t love me with soul Well, there’s lots of other guys Who’d love to play your role

If you don’t wanna be my leading man Get out of my life and let me live again (You can go, you can go, you can go)

Oh, the show must go on

Hey, one monkey Don’t stop no show If you don’t want my love You’re free to go (You can go, you can go, you can go)

I said one monkey Don’t stop no show If you really need our love You’d better let it show (Let it show, let it show, let it show)

Once we had a love You couldn’t live without The greatest love that heaven Has ever put out

Success has gone to your head You wanna be free, yeah Fool, don’t you realize Your backbone is me

If you no longer like your part Get out of my life before you ruin my heart (You can go, you can go, you can go)

Oh, the show must go on

I love you But I can do without you Arriba, arriba

You can go There’s the door You can go, you can go The show must go on

Hey, one monkey Don’t stop no show If you don’t want my love You’re free to go (You can go, you can go, you can go)

I said one monkey Don’t stop no show**

Uh-huh

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 19, 2008 12:21 PM | Link to this

awww unhappy I feel your pain, I went thru that and it is the worst feeling in the world. kinda make you think what’s wrong with me. Prayer was my only answer to get me thru it. Hard prayer, I expose my feelings on to be said that he wasn’t going to do anything with it, that was a hard blow, I couldn’t hate him for not feeling the same way I felt, it’s not his fault. Those words and with a prayer and a constant reminder that my world doesn’t begin or end with him made it so much easier. Hang in there I promise you it will get better, you’ll see.

By LivedNLearned

August 19, 2008 12:23 PM | Link to this

Unhappy camper I think its a little selfish for one to request friendship after a break-up, especially immediately after. I’m assuming the one who broke things off wants to be friends? thats so unfair. They clearly are self-seeking and do not have your best interest at heart.

They want the best of both worlds, you in some lesser, uncommitted form and then the priviledge to date another. Not cool. Tell that person to KICK ROCKS!!

By Beautiful

August 19, 2008 12:23 PM | Link to this

m’karyl i’m lovin’ it!

By abc

August 19, 2008 12:25 PM | Link to this

I’m not a ‘be friends with exes’ kind of guy. We’re exes for a reason, dayum good reasons, as far as I’m concerned.

If I run into an ex I ignore them or make myself scarce. If I ran into them in a club, well that’s not going to happen anyway, I don’t go to nightclubs. If some other public place, they can leave me alone, I’ll leave them alone, everything will be fine. If they won’t leave me alone, I’ll leave.

I don’t want to see them. Now, if only they had the same perspective.

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

August 19, 2008 12:25 PM | Link to this

Glad this thing is up and moving! I was getting a lil worried.

I co-sign with what some others have said: I hold my head up, speak, chit chat and keep it moving. Once its over, its over so why should I be afraid or panic when running into an ex?

By Raqi

August 19, 2008 12:36 PM | Link to this

When I first broke with one of my exes not only did I hate looking at him, I wouldn’t even go to certain places that he and I went. I avoided certain areas that I knew I may run into him.

I was glad when I got over that.

By lurker

August 19, 2008 12:37 PM | Link to this

I see some posters are in denial. Women up!

By SlimOne

August 19, 2008 12:42 PM | Link to this

Question fellow bloggers How long can you say it took you all to get over that person in your past that you loved hard??? Just curious.

By m'karyl

August 19, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this

I see some posters are in denial. Women up!

Denial…about what???

By AmazonRed

August 19, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this

Afternoon all.

I’m a big fan of burning bridges when a relationship ends. We’re not friends. So if I see you in public, you’ll be just another face in the crowd. I won’t approach to or speak and if we happen to make eye contact, the most you’ll get is the head nod!

By SlimOne

August 19, 2008 12:47 PM | Link to this

Question fellow bloggers How long can you say it took you all to get over that person in your past that you loved hard??? Just curious.

By SlimOne

August 19, 2008 12:52 PM | Link to this

Question fellow bloggers How long can you say it took you all to get over that person in your past that you loved hard??? Just curious.

By Tazzee

August 19, 2008 12:56 PM | Link to this

SlimOne for one guy it took over a year for me to truly get over him. The funny thing is, I thought I was over him and it helped that I lived in a different city. But then, right after he got married I found myself in a deep funk, maybe even depression. It wasn’t until I got to the other side that I put two and two together. But in the midst of it, I didn’t know what was wrong, I just knew I wasn’t right.

The thing is, I didn’t love him really hard, it was the actual failure of our relationship and how quickly he moved on and got married that messed me up. I felt that there was something wrong with me.

By m'karyl

August 19, 2008 12:56 PM | Link to this

@SlimOne

Honestly, my child’s father was the last time I really bit an emotional bullet of pain over a relationship…and that was 25+ ago…and it was what I discovered in the process of moving past the emotional pain that helped me to better understand my responsibility for my emotional well being and how I have to hold myself accountable for the decisions I made that did not benefit my emotional well-being…I met this sister when I was working at Perimeter Mall…a very strange encounter…she literallly appeared out of nowhere (she worked next door)and she dissappeared the same way(two weeks later she was gone)…but she told me that when I learned to hold myself accountable for the pain the I allowed myself to experience and when I no longer placed the blame on what he did…then I would never experience the pain of emotional dissappointment again…and she was right…that did not mean that I immediately stopped making bad-fit decisions about relationships…but the moment I sensed that my emotional well-being was at stake, I found it easier to back off and if necessary just put an end to the relationship…dayuummm, I sure do miss my days of whining my heart out to my favorite Oh He Hurt Me tunes…now I listen to them and I wonder what it is like to feel that way about someone…lol.

By Atl Lady

August 19, 2008 12:57 PM | Link to this

SlimOneIt depends. It was a serious relationship that I thought was leading to marriage, months (2-6). I always gave myself time to heal in between relationships and when I went out on dates it was understood that I was out to have fun for that reason. I didn’t want someone to be the rebound guy or the person I took things out on if the relationship ended on a bad note. I have hobbies to help with that kind of stuff.

By Keep it real! From Ohio

August 19, 2008 1:04 PM | Link to this

Hello Everyone!

It does not matter we should always face an ex just to let them know we are doing fine and looking mucho good!

Let our smile show the way that life is good with-out you!

By ATL Guy

August 19, 2008 1:06 PM | Link to this

ATLGUY is back…here to teach you all how to Play the Game

By Beautiful

August 19, 2008 1:07 PM | Link to this

slim its’ been since 04. i wish i never met him. when i was dating in GA, things were better … my mind was clear.

i decided last week to start dating again after the new year. :-)

By SlimOne

August 19, 2008 1:08 PM | Link to this

Tazz Yeah i can totally imagine being hurt or down to know a person you were with for a while seemed to move on so quickly. It’s more of a blow to the ego because we’d like to think they are just as torn up as we are. As stated here before many times, i guess men just deal with it differently. We may sit in the house moping around on the verge of tears at every heartbreak song or every romantic movie scene…whereas they’ll meet some chick in the club or go out with a female a friend put them on to. I felt the pain when my ex before last got engaged shortly after we broke up..cuz that meant they had been together during our r’ship. (and come to think of it, he tried to sleep with me under the hidden premise of just ‘hanging out’ at least on 2 separate ocassions..one being pre-nuptials and post-nuptials)..baystard!

m’karyl but the moment I sensed that my emotional well-being was at stake, I found it easier to back off and if necessary just put an end to the relationship some true talk right there. It’s easy to feel left drained and empty during a breakup because you’ve given so much of yourself to a person. I’ll never forget what my dad once told me.

“You have to really consider how much of yourself you allow a person to have…and even when you still hold back, or tread carefully, there is always that chance that things will not turn out the way you wish”

By Raqi

August 19, 2008 1:08 PM | Link to this

SlimOne to get over wanting to be with him, it just took the time of me finding other things to do to occupy me. But to get to the point where he could no longer get to me in any way, good or bad, it honestly took me getting with someone else just as great or greater than he was. The over-under concept.

By D Dub of the ATL

August 19, 2008 1:09 PM | Link to this

pops up from his chair in the lurker lounge

Hey folks, long time no blog… a similar incident happened to me a few years ago, and thinking back on it, I have to say that I punked out and left as soon as the opportunity presented itself… this went down about a month after the girl (referred to as a girl on purpose) dumped me on my birthday - so to suffice it to say I was still ticked off… and you could say I still am about how things went down, but certainly glad that I’m not dating that twit anymore. Each person you choose to date has a role in your life believe it or not, and she taught me a few lessons about where to put my priorities in a potential mate, and to see the warning signs from the beginning (issues with daddy not being home as a child, baby daddy issues, etc.).

Thankfully, all my lessons have come to fruition and I am now engaged to be married to a beautiful woman next May - all of those things I used to make compromises on with past mates I didn’t have to do with my fiance because we saw eye to eye on a plethora of things from jump - and the coolest thing is we weren’t hunting to get married - a wise woman (my grandmother) told me years ago that “when you stop hunting for a husband/wife, then the creator will let you finally find what you were looking for all along.”

I try not to burn bridges because if you feel you need to do that, then what were you doing with that person in the first place? Anyone you have relations with you are acknowledging the possibility that you will have to deal with that person for the rest of your life via the potential child that could result of said relations… Having said that, there are only 3 people that I have dated in the past that I completely refuse to have any dealings with - and I feel that the relationship in the first place indicates questionable judgment on my part - but it can also be chalked up to a lesson learned… I had to meet them to meet the one.

Anyway, that’s my two bits… I’ll depart with a line from one of the few Country-Western songs I will listen to - George Strait’s “All My Exes”:

All my ex’s live in Texas, And Texas is a place I’d dearly love to be. But all my ex’s live in Texas And that’s why I hang my hat in Tennessee.

drops mic and returns to the lurker lounge

By Demi

August 19, 2008 1:09 PM | Link to this

How long can you say it took you all to get over that person in your past that you loved hard??? Just curious.

Slim 6 months

By SlimOne

August 19, 2008 1:13 PM | Link to this

Tazz Yeah i can totally imagine being hurt or down to know a person you were with for a while seemed to move on so quickly. It’s more of a blow to the ego because we’d like to think they are just as torn up as we are. As stated here before many times, i guess men just deal with it differently. We may sit in the house moping around on the verge of tears at every heartbreak song or every romantic movie scene…whereas they’ll meet some chick in the club or go out with a female a friend put them on to. I felt the pain when my ex before last got engaged shortly after we broke up..cuz that meant they had been together during our r’ship. (and come to think of it, he tried to sleep with me under the hidden premise of just ‘hanging out’ at least on 2 separate ocassions..one being pre-nuptials and post-nuptials)..baystard!

m’karyl but the moment I sensed that my emotional well-being was at stake, I found it easier to back off and if necessary just put an end to the relationship some true talk right there. It’s easy to feel left drained and empty during a breakup because you’ve given so much of yourself to a person. I’ll never forget what my dad once told me.

“You have to really consider how much of yourself you allow a person to have…and even when you still hold back, or tread carefully, there is always that chance that things will not turn out the way you wish”

By kimmie

August 19, 2008 1:14 PM | Link to this

What’s up, blog fam?

abc/Amred - I’m with you. I’ll speak if spoken to and can’t avoid it, but that’s it. We’re ex for a reason, whether it was my fault, his fault or both. Keep it moving. Friend is not a term I use lightly. There is one guy out-of-state that I am on friendly terms with, and we are totally upfront & honest about it. Absolutely no lingering feelings on my part whatsoever, and I hope on his. But, his wife listens on the other end of the phone the few times he called me and read the emails. I told him don’t even bother anymore - only reason I was even still on friendly terms is because I was close to his parents & sister. I sent sis a gift when she had her baby and she sends my regards to their parents.

Said all this to say, theres always going to be some wife or girlfriend that’s not going to be comfortable with the whole thing. I consider myself very secure, but I found myself in a situation with a guy that loved to boast about how he was friends with all his exes. One in particular he kept just TOO close contact with. I was not comfortable with the whole “we’re just friends” routine. They are married now.

By wrenn

August 19, 2008 1:15 PM | Link to this

Hey everybody, wanted to peek in and peek out…I was in a 10 year relationship…i always jokingly say he stole my virginity and my youth cause i let him before you say it…anywho it took me 4 years to get past him and he left me and married someone else.

Then had the nerve to come back for advice and then had the nerve to come back for a second chance after he realized the grass wasn’t so green after all…he is her fourth husband.

Thank goodness that was 12 years ago and they don’t live that far from me, however i had the last laugh cause i got a big house and his is mediocore…

peace yall.

By Beautiful

August 19, 2008 1:17 PM | Link to this

it honestly took me getting with someone else just as great or greater than he was. The over-under concept.

i won’t say that’s my plan, but if God’s willing …

By SlimOne

August 19, 2008 1:17 PM | Link to this

Tazz Yeah i can totally imagine being hurt or down to know a person you were with for a while seemed to move on so quickly. It’s more of a blow to the ego because we’d like to think they are just as torn up as we are. As stated here before many times, i guess men just deal with it differently. We may sit in the house moping around on the verge of tears at every heartbreak song or every romantic movie scene…whereas they’ll meet some chick in the club or go out with a female a friend put them on to. I felt the pain when my ex before last got engaged shortly after we broke up..cuz that meant they had been together during our r’ship. (and come to think of it, he tried to sleep with me under the hidden premise of just ‘hanging out’ at least on 2 separate ocassions..one being pre-nuptials and post-nuptials)..baystard!

m’karyl but the moment I sensed that my emotional well-being was at stake, I found it easier to back off and if necessary just put an end to the relationship some true talk right there. It’s easy to feel left drained and empty during a breakup because you’ve given so much of yourself to a person. I’ll never forget what my dad once told me.

“You have to really consider how much of yourself you allow a person to have…and even when you still hold back, or tread carefully, there is always that chance that things will not turn out the way you wish”

By Page1908

August 19, 2008 1:22 PM | Link to this

Hey * D Dub*!

I agree w/ those who said that they would at least speak if they were spoken to, but I would not go out of my way to speak or be noticed.

By Bentley

August 19, 2008 1:23 PM | Link to this

Running into an ex and forcing yourseld to go through the oft boring “how’s life?” routine is unnecessary. After 5 minutes, it’s like chewing old gum and I’m ready to bail.

My ex knows how I feel about it: if you have to ask “how’s life?” there’s no point in talking because it’s not like you cared what was going on in my life before this random moment. Just keep it moving and I’ll be respectful if I do have to interact with her at some point in the shared setting (I.E. you need to politely ask if she excuse you while you pass by her in a crowded restaurant/bar).

Curiosity, ego, and the like may be motivators for other people to strike up a conversation, but certainly not me.

By Demi

August 19, 2008 1:25 PM | Link to this

D Dub of the ATL WTF?! Going the route of Musin, huh?

Demi pass D Dub a bottle of top self

By Demi

August 19, 2008 1:26 PM | Link to this

D Dub of the ATL WTF?! Going the route of Musin, huh?

Demi pass D Dub a bottle of top self

By m'karyl

August 19, 2008 1:27 PM | Link to this

@SlimOne

Your Pops was truly right on that one…we do not have control over others and their emotional behavior and attitudes…just over our own…nor can we define what emotional love means for others…some ppl do not knowhow to have emotionally healthy relationships with self or others…and no matter how much we may love someone else it does not do any good if we do not love ourselves first and foremost…my love can only change me, not someone else.

By Dan

August 19, 2008 1:29 PM | Link to this

@Slim

Your computer has tourettes. lololol

But to answer your question, it usually doesn’t take long for me to get over it usu. by getting under someone new, but it takes a while to let it go. To truly feel happy for that person in their new life.

I used to get in trouble in school fighting boyfriends of ole girlfriends, then I came to realize that he wasn’t responsible for anything and neither was she.

As I matured I learned that “reason, season, lifetime” saying that Grams used to holla, and now the breakup and aftermath is all good.

keep your head up gyrl….and fix your computer..

By Beautiful

August 19, 2008 1:31 PM | Link to this

lurker that’s one thing i’m not! i’m true to my feelings. if i’m feeling down, i allow myself sometime and do what i gotta do to get threw it.

you’ve been a pain in the azz lately!

hey ohio!

By ATL Guy

August 19, 2008 1:33 PM | Link to this

To All I mean really…what difference does it make to run into your ex. Act chill, say what up, say sending my best, move on. Would be interesting being there with dates then you size each other up who ended up with the hotter person. Regardless…who would care really!? I mean my ex’s I’ve ran into were happy to see me, we touched base about a couple things, then it was like “all the best”.

Whats the big Deal!?

By m'karyl

August 19, 2008 1:34 PM | Link to this

@SlimOne

Your Pops was truly right on that one…we do not have control over others and their emotional behavior and attitudes…just over our own…nor can we define what emotional love means for others…some ppl do not knowhow to have emotionally healthy relationships with self or others…and no matter how much we may love someone else it does not do any good if we do not love ourselves first and foremost…my love can only change me, not someone else.

By Tazzee

August 19, 2008 1:36 PM | Link to this

m’karyl but she told me that when I learned to hold myself accountable for the pain the I allowed myself to experience and when I no longer placed the blame on what he did…then I would never experience the pain of emotional dissappointment again… That was some excellent advice. Something I had to learn for myself and it keeps me from being a bitter woman concerning the opposite sex - no man does anything I don’t allow him to do.

Don’t get me wrong, my first reaction to a break up may be anger - but there’s no more of the pity parties and victim mentality. I get angry - look at my role in the demise - and then move on.

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 19, 2008 1:36 PM | Link to this

Slimit too me almost a year to get over my last relationship. He kept calling me trying to give me reasons to stay together which delayed me moving on.

By SlimOne

August 19, 2008 1:37 PM | Link to this

I promise its not an user error on all my triple posts…

Raqi The over-under concept sometimes in order to get over someone you might have to get under someone else, right?

D Dub I feel that the relationship in the first place indicates questionable judgment on my part - but it can also be chalked up to a lesson learned… I had to meet them to meet the one. Another success story…you give other relationship distraught folks hope. Glad you finally found the one…and i love that song….I might have to look that up. LOL!

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 19, 2008 1:41 PM | Link to this

Chances are I won’t run into my ex or anybody I’ve dated. I never take a date to my favorite hang out spots and as far as my ex goes my interests are much different than his nowadays.

By SlimOne

August 19, 2008 1:42 PM | Link to this

I promise its not an user error on all my triple posts…

Raqi The over-under concept sometimes in order to get over someone you might have to get under someone else, right?

D Dub I feel that the relationship in the first place indicates questionable judgment on my part - but it can also be chalked up to a lesson learned… I had to meet them to meet the one. Another success story…you give other relationship distraught folks hope. Glad you finally found the one…and i love that song….I might have to look that up. LOL!

By Demi

August 19, 2008 1:43 PM | Link to this

SlimOne bitter dudes are men who handles their emotions like woman…I will keep it real. Yes most men do feel the loss of a long relationship…But we have good friends that force us to man up, hit those strips, clubs and get back in the hunt for new puddy. LOL

And listening to any thing that degrades women help as well…Thank You hip-hop!!!

For the ladies, y’all need songs like:

She ain’t got no money in the bank She be walking ‘round actin’ all stank Now she at the party looking at me Boys said she can’t get saved by me I’m lookin at her like (right) I ain’t tryna save that girl I ain’t tryna save that girl I ain’t tryna save that girl She got the hand open like I pay that girl

oops, wrong song…

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 19, 2008 1:43 PM | Link to this

The over-under concept sometimes in order to get over someone you might have to get under someone else, right? well then you’ll end up between 2 ppl = a love triangle.

By Tazzee

August 19, 2008 1:45 PM | Link to this

D Dub Hey Man! Congratulations on your engagement.

By Dan

August 19, 2008 1:46 PM | Link to this

@MLL

I like to like of it as a sex sammich.

j/k

By ATL Guy

August 19, 2008 1:48 PM | Link to this

If I ran into my ex in public, I’d proabably think it’s just a funny situation. Thats about it

By SlimOne

August 19, 2008 1:56 PM | Link to this

m’karyl my love can only change me, not someone else. You are ABSOLUTELY correcto mungo!

Dan Our system has been ackin up all morning. My neighbors pc sounds like it’s going to take off in flight in a minute. LOL! i so sorry, but I am in good spirits though..no head hanging low over here.

ATL Guy I don’t think anyone here was saying seeing an ex was a big deal.BUT I think it depends on what stage you’re in after the breakup. For instance, if it just happened…say…2 weeks ago and you all were together for 2 years, it might really throw your feelings our of whack seeing him/her with some other chick. However, if it’s been almost a year or whatever, then it should be cool to see an ex.

I recall me and my bf at the time were leaving the movies. I can’t recall what movie it was but me and the bf were walking out justa cracking up. I look up and see my ex walking into the theater with I guess his now wife. He sort of smiled at me but i was too busy cracking up laughing to get a hello out. We past by each other w/o incident. Of course he calls me a few days later. But like Raqi said, i had a new man and seeing the ex didn’t phase me either way.

MLL Slimit too me almost a year to get over my last relationship. He kept calling me trying to give me reasons to stay together which delayed me moving on. See stuff like that is what my most recent ex does. Sends “I miss you messages or thinking about crap” to keep that line open. If i wasn’t looking for a job I’d change my phone number, but i have resumes out there. That’s all part of the game of letting go.

Demi You have me cracking up at —> And listening to any thing that degrades women help as well…Thank You hip-hop!!! Ha ha ha! You’re right, i need to hear something hard. Slim now going through Eight Ball and MJG files cuz Beyonce To da left, just ain’t hard enough

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 19, 2008 1:58 PM | Link to this

@ DanWith lots of semenaise LOL

By SlimOne

August 19, 2008 2:01 PM | Link to this

m’karyl my love can only change me, not someone else. You are ABSOLUTELY correcto mungo!

Dan Our system has been ackin up all morning. My neighbors pc sounds like it’s going to take off in flight in a minute. LOL! i so sorry, but I am in good spirits though..no head hanging low over here.

ATL Guy I don’t think anyone here was saying seeing an ex was a big deal.BUT I think it depends on what stage you’re in after the breakup. For instance, if it just happened…say…2 weeks ago and you all were together for 2 years, it might really throw your feelings our of whack seeing him/her with some other chick. However, if it’s been almost a year or whatever, then it should be cool to see an ex.

I recall me and my bf at the time were leaving the movies. I can’t recall what movie it was but me and the bf were walking out justa cracking up. I look up and see my ex walking into the theater with I guess his now wife. He sort of smiled at me but i was too busy cracking up laughing to get a hello out. We past by each other w/o incident. Of course he calls me a few days later. But like Raqi said, i had a new man and seeing the ex didn’t phase me either way.

MLL Slimit too me almost a year to get over my last relationship. He kept calling me trying to give me reasons to stay together which delayed me moving on. See stuff like that is what my most recent ex does. Sends “I miss you messages or thinking about crap” to keep that line open. If i wasn’t looking for a job I’d change my phone number, but i have resumes out there. That’s all part of the game of letting go.

Demi You have me cracking up at —> And listening to any thing that degrades women help as well…Thank You hip-hop!!! Ha ha ha! You’re right, i need to hear something hard. Slim now going through Eight Ball and MJG files cuz Beyonce To da left, just ain’t hard enough

By Keep it real! From Ohio

August 19, 2008 2:01 PM | Link to this

Hey beautiful,

How is your day going?

My people let’s not let anyone ruin our day or spoil our fun. I would salsa my ex into the ground she showed up at the SALSA BAR!

Oops, let me add a point if the ex is still mad at you for leaving the run the other way quick, fast and a hurry!

By Dan

August 19, 2008 2:04 PM | Link to this

@MLL

naw, in my cases lots of T & A (t[oma]toes and a[merican chee]se).

By Demi

August 19, 2008 2:08 PM | Link to this

SlimOne bey, if you are TRYING to get over an ex, love songs just send you into a deeper depression…

*I one caught a buddy of mine listening to Lenny Williams…I was like DUDE, “That bish got yours a$$ put in jail over a bunch of lies!!”

Now lets hit up her inner circle

How about a round of applause……. A standing ovaaaation

LOL

By ATL Guy

August 19, 2008 2:10 PM | Link to this

SlimOne so this topic really applies to the people in the room that got played or cheated on?

I mean, sure if its a recent breakup it would be a little more fresh. But, if it was a bad break up, I’m not going to let some girl make me feel like sh*t. If I saw her out in public with some guy, she would realize what she’s missing out on. Not worth sweating it. Be mature, move on.

Do many of you get played in here or something!? Feel like I’m in the Airport with the “Damaged Baggage zone” in this Blog Room…swear

By Raqi

August 19, 2008 2:12 PM | Link to this

SlimOne not literally, but yeah.

By Beautiful

August 19, 2008 2:14 PM | Link to this

atl guy you funny today. lol.

see y’all later!

By Demi

August 19, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this

Oops, let me add a point if the ex is still mad at you for leaving the run the other way quick, fast and a hurry!

For real…One girl had me hiding in the bushes!!!

I broke up with her because…Just Because.

I would not pay shyt to be 22 again, LOL

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 19, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this

Atl Guy I thought this site was called the misadventures of dating? as far as damaged baggage you just missed your flight….

By SlimOne

August 19, 2008 2:21 PM | Link to this

Demi mayne! My ex sent me this text with a black and white picture of a man and women embracing each other and it had that Lenny Williams song playing. At first I thought it was cute since I could basically hear him beg any time I wanted to..but then i got my sense about me and had to delete that sonofamabish! Lenny will have yo azz running back to a pedofile if you not careful…lol

By AmazonRed

August 19, 2008 2:24 PM | Link to this

While out this past weekend, I ran into the old pilot that I went out with on a couple of dates. I pretended that I didn’t see him and he did the same. I did notice that he sat and watched me dance for a while. Creepy. He did that the last time I saw him, when I decided I wouldn’t be calling him again. He sent me a text message last night saying how hot I looked. I just ignored it. I don’t like opening those can of worms when you know the interest isnt there.

I’ve been running into a lot of guys I’ve dated and dismissed lately. I need to find some new kick it spots! The black bougie set in Atlanta is too darn small.

By ATL Guy

August 19, 2008 2:28 PM | Link to this

MLL your car alarm is going off in your handicap parking space…

Are you serious!? Yesssss its called MisAdventures in Atlanta, look at the freakin topic.

Just because you’ve been burned more times than a Pillsbury DoughBoy Pastry…doesn’t make it my issue

Self Esteem goes a Long Way, try it out Sometime

By kimmie

August 19, 2008 2:35 PM | Link to this

MLL - Please ignore him, blog friend. It’s like hitting your head against a brick wall.

By atltwen

August 19, 2008 2:37 PM | Link to this

I see my ex all the time when I visit my best female friend. HER TWIN SISTER!!

STOP! I what you all are thinking, and NO; I, we, or they can not, will not, and never will. It’s not like that.

By Demi

August 19, 2008 2:38 PM | Link to this

SlimOne LOL…y’een never lied!!

amma…Mamma……MAMMA please just let some shyt slide.

By Atl Lady

August 19, 2008 2:38 PM | Link to this

Atl Guy Hey baby! I missed my friend. I thought you moved to Japan without saying goodbye to us. Anyway, you’re back to shake things up as usual.

By m'karyl

August 19, 2008 2:39 PM | Link to this

@Taz

It is an important lesson to learn…and once I got it…then it was done…if I chose a relationship that did not fit me the first question I ask myself why did I choose this relationship…what did I not see, comprehend or what did I misplace about myself to have made that decision in the first place…I put an end to having bad relationships by not choosing them or allowing them to exist in the first place…me not the other…the other is still probably trying to figure it out…oh well.

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 19, 2008 2:39 PM | Link to this

ATL Guy** Well take advantage of free choice and don’t read it…..simple

You’re not wearing your title well for the biggest jerk of the year! j/k

By Demi

August 19, 2008 2:42 PM | Link to this

June 16, 1971 Mama gave birth to a hell raisin’ heavanly son. See the doctor tried to smack me but I smacked him back, My first words were “thug for life” and “Papa pass the Mac.” I’m bustin’ on these motha f’ckas ballin’ Listen you can hear my mini 14 callin’. From out the window of my drop top I got my glock cocked…

By ATL Guy

August 19, 2008 2:42 PM | Link to this

kimmie I didn’t know clarifying to someone oblivious is like hitting your head against the wall. Simmer Down Babe

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 19, 2008 2:43 PM | Link to this

kimmie I’m having fun with this dude….

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 19, 2008 2:45 PM | Link to this

Demi how bout fly over here and scope me up I feel like have a double dip of chocolate ice cream on a suga waffle cone.

By m'karyl

August 19, 2008 2:47 PM | Link to this

@Taz

It is an important lesson to learn…and once I got it…then it was done…if I chose a relationship that did not fit me the first question I ask myself why did I choose this relationship…what did I not see, comprehend or what did I misplace about myself to have made that decision in the first place…I put an end to having bad relationships by not choosing them or allowing them to exist in the first place…me not the other…the other is still probably trying to figure it out…oh well.

By kimmie

August 19, 2008 2:50 PM | Link to this

MLL - Okay, cool!:)

By Demi

August 19, 2008 2:51 PM | Link to this

Tell me baby are you lonely? Don’t wanna rush ya I can help ya if ya only, let me touch ya If I’m wrong love tell me, cause I get caught up and the life I live is Hell see, I never thought I’d see the day when I would calm down, you ain’t heard I’ve been known to clown and Get Around, that’s my word See you walkin and you lookin good, yes indeed Got a body like a sex fiend, you’re killin me witcha attitude to match right, don’t be phony cause I hate when you act like, you don’t know me I’ve be stressin in the spotlight, I want the fame but the industry’s a lot like, a crap game Ain’t no time for commitment, I gotta go Can’t be wit you every minute miss, another show And even though I’m known for my one night stand I wanna be an honest man, but temptations go…

By Tazzee

August 19, 2008 2:51 PM | Link to this

Have an awesome evening folks - I’m out for the day!

By m'karyl

August 19, 2008 2:52 PM | Link to this

@AmazonRed

Well, obviously he was checking out choice cuts…too bad his teeth ain’t fixin’ to get a dab…lol…and what he told you something that you did not know…like you did not know you is hot????…uh…

By ATL Guy

August 19, 2008 2:52 PM | Link to this

Kimmie really needs to chill. MLL is taking it like a champ!

This friend having eachother’s back thing in a blog room is so funny. She’s a big girl and doesn’t need her stroller pushed!

ATL-Lady what up my zesty jalapeno!?!?

By Demi

August 19, 2008 2:56 PM | Link to this

MLL(mammalongleggs) LOL…tell me what you wanna…song wise

A lot of people think it’s easy, to settle down Got a woman that’ll please me, in every town I don’t wanna but I gotta do it, the temptation got me ready to release the fluid, sensation sit down and conversate like you know me, take my hand Cause even Thugs get lonely, understand Even the hardest of my homies need attention Catch you blowin up the telephone, reminiscin

By Keep it real! From Ohio

August 19, 2008 2:56 PM | Link to this

Ah! The ladies like to talk to smack in the blog! Interesting!

Watch out Demi Longleggs is something else! She will make you Hollar!

I once ran into an ex at a movie theater, I was on a date. I spotted my ex making a bee-line for my date now she was with someone also so I jumped infront of my date and said hello to my date. My ex was sizing her up she thought she still had the goods on me!

She did not want give up this double shot power I use to put on her!

Plus the cooking also!

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 19, 2008 2:57 PM | Link to this

ATL Guy are you into dominitrix?

By Demi

August 19, 2008 2:59 PM | Link to this

@Jam,Cee,My

I know you’ve been searchin for someone To make you happy, and get the job done You say you need it, a man with money But I can’t be there, and will you still care…

By m'karyl

August 19, 2008 2:59 PM | Link to this

ATL Guy

How was the fanastic voyage????? Where be my souvenier (sp)…did you bring me something nice…and if not can I take it back…lol

By kimmie

August 19, 2008 2:59 PM | Link to this

Amred - Have you been watching Jo’s quest for a boyfriend? I believe in the end she & Slade might end up back together. Or, the little commercial teasers want us to think that and she really does chose one of the other guys. Did you see her throw that other guy out? He seemed a little sleazy anyway to me, she could do a whole lot better.

By SlimDiva

August 19, 2008 3:02 PM | Link to this

I’ve been extremely busy and just got an opportunity to check in.

I recently ran into my ex at a concert with his new love interest. When we both were at a concession stand. She went into the ladies room and he approached me with general conversation. It went from having general conversation to his desire to reconcile with me. He didn’t know that she was standing behind him. Unfortunately, she became angry with me and accused me of wanting him back. I told her that if that was the case I could have him that night. But since I UPGRADED…I DON’T NEED OR WANT him!

Why do women always think the ex wants him back?!!? I’m FULLY SATISFIED with whom I’m currently dating.

By m'karyl

August 19, 2008 3:02 PM | Link to this

I spotted my ex making a bee-line for my date

Uh-huh…now that is real stupid… and rude…if she wanted to holla at ya’ and came up…cool…but she had no right stepping to the person you were with and all…tacky…real tacky.

By AmazonRed

August 19, 2008 3:02 PM | Link to this

M’Karyl - LMAO!!! I did want to text him back “duh.” LOL

By Blanca

August 19, 2008 3:02 PM | Link to this

Bentley My ex knows how I feel about it: if you have to ask “how’s life?” there’s no point in talking because it’s not like you cared what was going on in my life before this random moment I’ve always thought this too! Still, I make the s