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Is timing really everything?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Good morning all! My apologies for recent technical problems. Just know I’m on it and our tech crew is trying to work it out. Thanks for your patience!
And now to today’s topic…
When my first love and I broke up in college, we said to each other that had we met in our late 20s we likely would have gotten married. Easy to say, of course, given that we were then just 19 and 21 years old.
We had our problems, but often chalked them up to timing; we thought we were simply too young for a marriage-bound relationship. We stopped talking for the most part, but then one of us would place a random call for coffee or dinner every year or so. And each time, we reminisced about the good and bad of our relationship and discussed getting back together….eventually.
I graduated and moved away. He joined the military and moved even further. We last saw each other two years ago and just as we had since our split, we fell into the “I still love yous” that had plagued us since 2000.
But as always, the timing “wasn’t right,” especially given our careers and physical distance.
Sometimes I wonder if timing had nothing to do with it at all. If two people honestly care about and want eachother, can said present challenges stand in the way? Is “timing” just an excuse for not really wanting to be with someone?
When has timing impacted your relationships? Looking back, was it really about the time or about your interest? I’m open for all thoughts on why timing really is everything.
Permalink | Comments (205) | Post your comment | Categories: Relationships
Comments
By Blanca
August 20, 2008 8:15 AM | Link to this
Good morning everyone! Just testing to make sure we’re up.
By Bit-O-Hunny
August 20, 2008 8:19 AM | Link to this
Morning folks, timing definitely has it place as it relates to maturity and priorities. However, I’m a firm believer that we make time/room for those things we feel are important. Blanca in your case I guess the two of you just don’t feel compelled enough to make the sacrifice for the love you feel you have.
I’ve said, in times past, that I was too busy with career, life, goals, whatever for relationships, but sure enough when someone interested me enough I made time on my blackberry. Timing is only a factor if you make it a factor.
By SlimOne
August 20, 2008 8:35 AM | Link to this
Morning
I sort of agree with BOH in that timing does have some baring on each situation as far as if the folks are currently in a relationship, just got out of a relationship, maturity, and other various life situations. However, outside of that people make things happen for what they want to happen. I’ve heard stories where folks lived on opposite sides of the US but reconnected and made it work. Those folks took a chance. I think at times, folks tend to overthink about all the WHAT IF’S, and it keeps them stuck where they are. No one wants to get hurt and no one wants to take a risk to be left standing looking stupid. It boils down to, until you take a chance, you’ll just never know will you?
By mytwocents
August 20, 2008 8:38 AM | Link to this
Mmmm bloggin’… I like it in the mornin… While timing really is a huge factor - your head’s gotta be in the right state, your heart’s gotta be in the right state & your body’s gotta be in the right state. Literally. Some need at least 2 states to breathe, others no more than 20 mins. But often we use it as a crutch as well to delay expressing a desire “until the time is right”.
Have a sunshiney day, chirren.
By SlimOne
August 20, 2008 8:49 AM | Link to this
mytwo While timing really is a huge factor - your head’s gotta be in the right state, your heart’s gotta be in the right state & your body’s gotta be in the right state
I get all that but, isn’t that almost like saying the sky has to open up, the light has to shine down, all the stars have to be lined up, time will stand still and all will be perfect?…its not going to be this PEFECT time where everything is just peachy king….maybe that’s what our problem is which spills over into not being able to find people to date. We want the person to have this, that, some more of that, and then some before we claim we’ll give them the time of day…not you personally, just generally speaking
By Page1908
August 20, 2008 9:10 AM | Link to this
Sometimes I think people use the phrase bad timing as a way to communicate to the other person “don’t expect much”. I agree with SlimOne in that usually there is no “perfect” timing for most things. I have often heard of stories where people were not “looking” for a relationship because they didn’t think it was the right time in their life, but ended up meeting someone and things worked out.
I try not to focus on the timing and go with the flow of things.
By AmazonRed
August 20, 2008 9:12 AM | Link to this
Good morning everyone! Blanca, thanks for always keeping us abreast of the techical issues with the blog.
By mytwocents
August 20, 2008 9:19 AM | Link to this
Slim I’m with you on waiting for the Stars to álign perfectly. I should’ve added that by the right state, I meant open to this person or this love. You ever have some dude tryin to do far too much for what you wanted to do w/ him at the time? Just wanted shush him on the heartfelt mess and help him undress? Or the one who you knew was a big gaping wound & ur sure u can heal his heart if only he was ready to stop wallowing? And my personal swan song used to be any convo which included the phrase ‘baby makin’ hips’… Ten years later, Im thinkin of listing that under skills on my resume!!!
By Cemeeli
August 20, 2008 9:19 AM | Link to this
Morning!
Timing….whoa…this topic…hmmph.
When is the “right time”? <—-this here i can not answer.
By ATL Guy
August 20, 2008 9:22 AM | Link to this
Timing is Essential in any event. Could always say it was better then or later, but who ever really knows. Timing is important in relationships because people could be at different points in their lives and have specific goals.
AmazonRed come here and give me a blog kiss baby. Life Treatin you well!?
By MLL(mammalongleggs)
August 20, 2008 9:22 AM | Link to this
Good morning, Is “timing” just an excuse for not really wanting to be with someone? yes, both parties have used it whether it’s used to downplay rejection or to let the other person down without hurting their feelings.
Looking back, was it really about the time or about your interest? it depends - if I’m not interested it’s about timing. You don’t make time for someone you’re not interested in unless you have ulterior motives.
By AmazonRed
August 20, 2008 9:24 AM | Link to this
But as always, the timing “wasn’t right,” especially given our careers and physical distance.
In this case, it wasn’t about timing. Everything else, career, age, distance, was put before the relationship. There are so many stories of couples that overcame so much more to be together because they felt it worth it.
I do think overall it is about timing. With guys, you gotta meet them when THEY feel they are ready. I know guys in great marriages and even they admit that if they’d met their wives at different points of their lives, they wouldn’t be with em. Just how it is, it seems.
Guys seem to think that there is not just one perfect lady to fit the role when they are ready to be a husband. Women stick around and fight for that one guy to settle down, because they don’t think their are an infinite number of “perfect matches” for them.
By MELO
August 20, 2008 9:26 AM | Link to this
Just wanted shush him on the heartfelt mess and help him undress? lol….thats when u were young and ignorant,i wld guess.Coz at that age, u think impressing him with ur goods will win him over.We all mature with age,i guess…………..
By Raqi
August 20, 2008 9:28 AM | Link to this
Yes timing does matter a lot. Whether it’s an issue of needing to grow up a bit more or just some uncontrollable circumstances timing plays a part.
Sometimes time will reveal that the person really isn’t the right one for you.
There are two guys that I can name that it just was not the right time for us to be together. And now looking back I am glad the circumstances were as they were. I can’t see myself with either now. One of those men got knocked out of the competition by my husband. The other his issues with his daughter’s mother are just horrific.
When I met my present husband it was not time for us to be together then. I met him at the very same time I met my first husband. There was not attraction to him whatsoever. He just happened to be there. Many, many years passed and circumstances changed bringing us together as we are today.
I am not the same person I was 24 years ago. I don’t even think my first husband could be with the person I am today. So yes timing is everything.
By Cemeeli
August 20, 2008 9:32 AM | Link to this
mytwo….
By Raqi
August 20, 2008 9:50 AM | Link to this
but ended up meeting someone and things worked out.
Page I think that would be the perfect example of “perfect timing”. Sometimes when are looking and expecting are focus is in one place and we over look people, circumstances, or whatever.
Usually when not looking we are more receptive to the natural flow of things. Nature taking its course. We are not blinded by inane expectations.
By good morning losers
August 20, 2008 9:56 AM | Link to this
it does my soul good to see the pathetic postings and this community of homebound losers.
By Sasha Two Pistols
August 20, 2008 9:59 AM | Link to this
I feel that timing is a factor in relationships. You might have someone whose focus is their career and then wanting to settle down after they get to where they want to be, it happens all the time. But I agree with an earlier post that said sometimes if you have a relationship that you deem really worthwhile and something that you know is good and worth working towards, then you will make time to make it work. Point blank. It all comes down to the individual and what they see as important in their lives; what their priorities are in life.
By Dan
August 20, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this
I think timing is as timing does.
Like MyTwo was saying, you want kinda what you want not knowing what you need.
I personally ran through a lot of good women in my quest to “get my numbers up”. While I don’t believe in regrets, I do wonder “what if?” Then, the D remembers that if it was meant to be, one of us would have fought for it.
That said, these days as the roles are reversed, I don’t try and fight the feelings, if it’s there it’s there. If it’s not, make way for what coming…
By lurker
August 20, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this
Ummmmm, Lamar why are you advertising Real Estate on a dating blog?
By D Dub of the ATL
August 20, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this
ok, well it looks like you guys got me out two days in a row…
Hello and Thanks to Page, Tazzee, and Demi for the congrats from yesterday…
As for today’s topic - it seems this has been something that several of my friends - married and single - have been discussing. I will say that I met my fiance back in 2000, but we didn’t keep in touch - and we both have said that if we had kept in touch we definitely wouldn’t be together right now, much less getting married. Our heads were in two completely different places back then, and it probably would have ended with some great rabbit dancing and a “call me next time you’re in town”.
A good friend of mine is recently married, and one thing that came out of one of our conversations is that women wait for the right man, and men wait for the right time. Fortunately for me, those two goals happened to coincide this time :)
By mytwocents
August 20, 2008 10:10 AM | Link to this
Cee Anutha…
zulu undress was to undress… Shush was/is to stem unnecessary chatter, ie declaration of affection, ramblings when he ain’t the sharpest, dreaded survey in the midst of. I agreed w/ For Real bout questions the other day but I was making a point, dammmit.
By Leggs
August 20, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this
Dang, Mr. Campbell, where’d you come from using the blog as your advertisement venue…that was kinda funny! Not really!!!
By Truth
August 20, 2008 10:12 AM | Link to this
lol…at the f!kery of Keller Williams n’ nem. Bush got bishes soliciting on dating blogs. I guess times are really hard?
By Mizzy
August 20, 2008 10:13 AM | Link to this
Truth is, things happen when and how they are supposed to happen. They are destined, if you choose to believe in things of that nature, be faithful. If you don’t and someone gives you the LAME excuse that it’s just “bad timing”, thank them politely for being honest and roll on. They don’t deserve any more of your time. How about that?
By Leggs
August 20, 2008 10:14 AM | Link to this
Timing matters only if you let it. When two people are truly interested Ain’t no Mountain High Enough, Ain’t no River Deep enuf to keep me from you….
By ATL Guy
August 20, 2008 10:14 AM | Link to this
Good Morning why are you bashing people for posting when you just posted!? Define Hypocrite for me…
Homebound…after I leave my Office. Thanks Bud
By AmazonRed
August 20, 2008 10:15 AM | Link to this
one thing that came out of one of our conversations is that women wait for the right man, and men wait for the right time.
D Dub - That sums it up perfectly. I wholehartedly agree!
By Leggs
August 20, 2008 10:19 AM | Link to this
Hello Truth. I thought of you while reading his message thinking if you were lurking you would be blowing a gasket and here you are. Hope all is well with you.
By nappy_aka
August 20, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this
In my opinion I think men settle when the time is right more often than when they find the one. They could come across their “soulmate”, but if they still wanna run amuck it matters not. Seems like a large proportion of guys propose on impulse/on a whim, because they feel like they have to (ex: girlfriend is expecting so they have to be a man) or because they’re getting too old to be out dating.
By Cemeeli
August 20, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this
Mizzy i agree. things happen when and how they are supposed to happen. Destined.
well i see everytime i’m out there is bliss up in dis bi…
D Dub Congratulations is in order?! You read like you’re delighing yourself. Best Wishes…
By milfdiver
August 20, 2008 10:24 AM | Link to this
Did you guys know Sondra from the Cosby Show is 50 yrs. old?
I don’t know why I decided to look up the Cosby show today and I came across a note that said Sondra was almost not given the role because she is only 10 years younger than Clare. Looked her up and low and behold she turned 50 this year.
By AmazonRed
August 20, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this
That said, these days as the roles are reversed
Dan - Can you clarify this please? What roles are reversed?
By Atl Lady
August 20, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this
Leggs We’ve got a couple of characters in our business today. Bashing us for having a blog yet posting at the same damn time. Ain’t that a blip!!!
TruthWhat’s up bruh??? How’s everything going?
By MLL(mammalongleggs)
August 20, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this
Hi Leggs
By For Real
August 20, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this
Screw timing Raqi got it right with this statement:
blinded by inane expectations.
You either “do” or “don’t” there are no shades or levels or any other adjective that will complicate something simple. Timing is an excuse used when you don’t have the balls to say “I Don’t”.
BTW, SPIKE TV has a new show called Cleaning the AAD. It’s a family show about women who dedicate their time and energy in maintaining AAD. If any of you ladies are interested in being on the show please contact me at For_Real730@yahoo.com. The requirements for this show are:
Must not be camera phone shy
Must have been born a female
No Man Hands
Must work well with your hands while blindfold
Must thoroughly enjoy protein filled substance
Cue the music and fade to black.
By Leggs
August 20, 2008 10:32 AM | Link to this
Indeed a blip. I too was gonna leave them be, but Atl Guy turned on them. Isn’t it amazing how those pointing fingers usually make themselves look even more foolish!
D Dub, I too am glad you’re timing was perfect. Keep loving each other through the waves of life!
By abc
August 20, 2008 10:38 AM | Link to this
Is “timing” just an excuse?
Yes.
By SlimOne
August 20, 2008 10:44 AM | Link to this
For Real I think i may be interested..however, there are a few gray shaded areas.
Must not be camera phone shy - It must be a polaroid camera phone only
Must have been born a female - I have a 4 inch CT, will that be a problem?
No Man Hands - What about feminine hairy palms and hairy knuckles?
Must work well with your hands while blindfold - I already wear an eye patch on one eye. Will the company be able to provide me with an ergonomically correct one-eye blindfold?
Must thoroughly enjoy protein filled substance - How do i describe this…ok..its sort of liking jelly-filled doughnuts. I like to eat the outside but i throw away the rest. Or like lemon heads…I like to suck it down to the white part then spit it out. So ‘technically’ i still enjoy protein-filled substances but just don’t enjoy the substance inside.
Where do i send my headshot again? lol
By Leggs
August 20, 2008 10:44 AM | Link to this
For Real’s starting earlier than Melo this morning (lol).
By Page1908
August 20, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this
LOL OMG For Real, stoppit! ctfu LOL @ “man hands”…reminds me of the episode of Seinfeld!
ARed OMG Baldwins Hills was off the chain last night!
By Dan
August 20, 2008 10:53 AM | Link to this
@ARed
The roles are reversed in that I now find myself being the one interested in relationships, whereas before I could care less.
By Cemeeli
August 20, 2008 10:53 AM | Link to this
mytwocents…’making a point’ to the zulu, is like playing peek-a-boo. you know…you know
achem…Mamma Moca…schools in session and timing is…
By Leggs
August 20, 2008 10:53 AM | Link to this
OMG, OMG. I am beside myself w/that one SlimOne. I have to place my hand over myself to ensure further employment at this camp. Whew!
By Atl Lady
August 20, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this
For Real I can always count on you to make me laugh.
Atl Guy Say that thang again!!!
By kimmie
August 20, 2008 10:58 AM | Link to this
Bad Timing
For the most part, timing is just a beautiful excuse used to keep from hurting feelings. As has been said by others and what I truly believe, you make time for the things you want. I’ve seen people move heaven & earth to be together. I’ve seen people engaged only to break their engagement because they met the one they truly wanted to be with. To sometimes buck “timing”, practical issues, family expectations, etc, it takes courage - something a lot of people don’t have. Fear keeps a lot of people from realizing their dreams, be it a career dream, the love of their life, an adventure, whatever. It takes a lot for some to step out on faith.
For a long time I used the excuse that “I always meet the right guy at the wrong time”. Bottom line, I was not the one for them and they were not the one for me, for whatever reasons. Everybody I meet is not destined to be “the one” and everyone I meet is not going to like me & I am not going to like everyone. That’s why I never think I “owe” anyone a chance because THEY have decided they are interested in me. But it’s all okay. Took some time to get to this point, but glad I made it.
By AmazonRed
August 20, 2008 10:59 AM | Link to this
Dan - Thanks.
Page1908 - BH was very good. Staci has to be far along to find out the sex. Why was she lying to Sal then?
By Cemeeli
August 20, 2008 11:01 AM | Link to this
@Atl Lady, please are you really gonna get it started?
Mo you taking this timing topic a lil to serious. Where are you?
By Cemeeli
August 20, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this
kimmie Hi sis. I knew you’d come in a post a good example…my last snippet on topic was eaten.…sigh.
By Jason Cecil Barrett
August 20, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this
Timing Is Everything… …and it sounds like you guys had it. The problem is that you are both obviously very passive personalities. It takes one or the other to have some passion! How can you let another minute pass without knowing if you have procrastinated your commitment to the love of your life?? How much time do you have to lose before you realize that life is here today, gone tomorrow…Nobody wraps up their life on this planet by saying “If only I could have put in another day at the office”… God Forbid! They want to be surrounded by family and friends, but most of all…that soul mate that makes their heart beat faster, the one who can make them more mad than anyone, but have a great time making up in special ways….What power does time have over love??? None! Listen, there should be nothing more important on the face of the earth than to fall in love and enjoy all that comes with it. I cant even enjoy my day now knowing that someone may have let romance pass them by on account of what?? A daily agenda? Please go as fast as you can make it right…You will be thankful you did.
By Page1908
August 20, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this
ARed Exactly what I was thinking about Staci! She must be like 3 or 4 months. I am not sure how much time goes by between shoots for each episode, but it must be a couple of months at least! And OMG Justin looks exactly like his dad! That was part was sooooo sad, I was crying I felt so bad. He must have gotten his eyes from his dad, too because his dad had BLUE eyes! I guess next season they will have a new cast since a few of them are going to college this season. Oh yeah, you need to get your protege Gerren in line LOLOL.
By Atl Lady
August 20, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this
Cee I’m not trying to start anything (said while smiling and grinning). It’s a slow day at the office for right now and I have the time to fellowship with my folk. What’s for lunch today?
By Jason Barrett
August 20, 2008 11:12 AM | Link to this
Timing Is Everything… …and it sounds like you guys had it. The problem is that you are both obviously very passive personalities. It takes one or the other to have some passion! How can you let another minute pass without knowing if you have procrastinated your commitment to the love of your life?? How much time do you have to lose before you realize that life is here today, gone tomorrow…Nobody wraps up their life on this planet by saying “If only I could have put in another day at the office”… God Forbid! They want to be surrounded by family and friends, but most of all…that soul mate that makes their heart beat faster, the one who can make them more mad than anyone, but have a great time making up in special ways….What power does time have over love??? None! Listen, there should be nothing more important on the face of the earth than to fall in love and enjoy all that comes with it. I cant even enjoy my day now knowing that someone may have let romance pass them by on account of what?? A daily agenda? Please go as fast as you can make it right…You will be thankful you did.
By Keep it real! From Ohio
August 20, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this
Hello to all and a blessed good morning fellow bloggers!
Timing only counts when you first meet a person. Once you what you have it now time to make it work and not let careers or other obstacles get in your way!
Timing should never stop you from complete the deal. Their is nothing more important except the lord himself then having a good mate!
By Cemeeli
August 20, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this
Jason…good deal. Your post sums up what i was thinking…thanks.
By Cemeeli
August 20, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this
Atl Lady well, if you don’t start i will. move over. ;)
By SlimOne
August 20, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this
Blog I was wondering about this very same thing the other day…according to Jason C Listen, there should be nothing more important on the face of the earth than to fall in love and enjoy all that comes with it. Do you all think that is one of our main purposes in life, to find someone we can partner up with or what??? I know that we are to live a life of service but outside of that…
By Tazzee
August 20, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this
Morning Folks!
I think timing is a factor when dealing with a person’s mindset. For instance there are some great guys that wanted to be with me back when I wasn’t ready to be anyone’s SO. Had we hooked up now, it could work but back then my mind wasn’t right.
Now that my mind is right, I truly believe what D Dub said: women wait for the right man, and men wait for the right time. If I run into the right man while it’s the right time for him I’m sure nothing will stop us from making it work.
By AmazonRed
August 20, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this
Page - Justin’s story was heart wrenching. He does look just like his dad! That drug thing is a cruel hand man. I also will never understand why men can just abandon their kids. It makes me appreciate my dad even more.
By AmazonRed
August 20, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this
Listen, there should be nothing more important on the face of the earth than to fall in love and enjoy all that comes with it. Do you all think that is one of our main purposes in life, to find someone we can partner up with or what???
SlimOne - I definitely think that is one of my purposes in life. From listening to others, too many people are “scared” to fall in love. They’ve been hurt and now have all these barriers up preventing them from getting hurt again. It sucks because you have to sift through all the baggage just to get thru to someone.
By Keep it real! From Ohio
August 20, 2008 11:32 AM | Link to this
To: Amazon Red,
A man cannot be called a real man if he abandon his kids/children.
If you have kids man-up and make sure you are a VIP in their lives!
By mytwocents
August 20, 2008 11:40 AM | Link to this
Bad timing. Stuck on US soil has me travel’n vicariously. But Dreams & Vacationing Teach FKaK stingy w/ their stories, puttin work before blog. Ridiculous.
By Dan
August 20, 2008 11:41 AM | Link to this
@Slim
I think that the life of service places one in the path of like-minded people. Then your service to the community becomes your service to one.
By AmazonRed
August 20, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this
A man cannot be called a real man if he abandon his kids/children.
No argument here.
By Atl Lady
August 20, 2008 11:46 AM | Link to this
Mytwo I agree and ATL Guy is stingy with his stories too. They had the nerve to report on the news how it’s a good time to travel overseas because a lot of airlines have cut the ticket prices to Europe. Then again, by the time you pay the baggage fee, fuel surcharge fee, food, and the airport tax is it really a bargain?
By Cemeeli
August 20, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this
lol @ Atl Lady…like myself at times, you like to push the envelope? jus gonna make Guy “act” huh?
mytentravels Your right they are being stingy. hmmmph, that reminds me…
By Foots
August 20, 2008 12:05 PM | Link to this
Is “timing” just an excuse for not really wanting to be with someone?
It can be an excuse or it can be the truth. I’ve had situations where a guy has said it was bad timing because he didn’t want a relationship, I’ve used the excuse of bad timing (i.e. I just got out of a relationship) to avoid moving forward with someone else. Then genuinely, I’ve had cases of bad timing where the love was there, but one of us was too immature to develop it fully.
One of my friends was dating a guy that said that it was the wrong time for him to be in a relationship, between school and raising his kids. Shoot, she was in his class and had just as many children as he did, even younger. He had enough time for them to act like they were in a relationship though and had enough time to reap the benefits of being with her. How would the committment have changed anything? That was a clear cut excuse from him and eventually, she saw it.
Looking back, was it really about the time or about your interest?
For the times that I used “bad timing” as an excuse, it was always about my lack of interest. I know how to make time for what I want to make time for.
By Foots
August 20, 2008 12:10 PM | Link to this
Blanca I agree with most. If you and that guy love each other and both want the same thing (to be together), what’s keeping you apart? Somebody may have to move, somebody may have to get a new job or request a transfer, but that’s nothing new. People do it all the time to be together.
One, or both, of you may not feel that the payoff of being together is greater than the sacrifices you’ll make. In that case, you should probably stay apart.
By Staceye AKA Black Mamba
August 20, 2008 12:20 PM | Link to this
Listen, there should be nothing more important on the face of the earth than to fall in love and enjoy all that comes with it. Do you all think that is one of our main purposes in life, to find someone we can partner up with or what??? It depends on the person. To some people that is the ultimate. But not for everyone. My dreams and career are more important to me that “love”. Timing is everything. I am pretty sure I have come across some decent men…but being as that my focus is my career and not wanting a relationship or anything remotely close to emotional connection right now makes a big difference. Had I met these guys prior to my bad experiences, maybe things would be different. So meeting a guy when your heart is closed and locked away is bad timing because you are not able or willing to receive him. Timing is key.
Keep It Real A man cannot be called a real man if he abandon his kids/children. Now that statement is golden! So true! He is a boy in a man’s clothing!
ATL Lady You are so right about the so-called bargins they offer. I love the price of the ticket until I got to book it and see al these fees and it’s the same price it was before they had their so-called sale! I used to like American Airlines..but now not only do they charge you for the 2nd bag…but now they do it as well for the first. Now what get’s me is you can’t take liquids over 3 oz. on board…meaning you have to check it. Now what woman do you know that can get by on 3 oz. bottles of anything on a trip? So now that you have to check your stuff it makes the weight of your bag go up. Now they say if your abg surpasses 50lbs. you have to pay extra. How come they did not take the weight up to 55lbs. to allow for that new rule? See, they are always out to financially rape people. Meanwhile the big wigs get richer! C-O-N-S-P-I-R-A-C-Y!!!!
By Jamoca
August 20, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this
Mornin’ All…
(Snap-baicka say: “her kind” is not allowed in the US…so what’s the “bid-ness” with all this beckoning?)
Cee
Don’t make me…pleee’ don’t make me…(lol). What’s this about cookies she hear?…although she would enjoy the “phat” chocolate macadamian nut, but can’t find the time to (whaaat’ dis’ ma’) indulge herself w/ a lil’ milk n’ coookies …unlike some…ooops!
stuck now thinkin’… Zulu warrior vs “The Cocoa Brutha” …I “thank” I’ll take on’ “The Chief” himself…the Shawnee, the Muskogee…heyal, whatever tribe/village don’t matter here… *his people shall be my people…
Mytwo
Stuck on US soil has me travel’n vicariously
…him thinkin’ bout’ takin’ your mental deep into that ancient kingdom somewhere…along w/ them baybeh-makin’ assets you possess, swayin’ to them sabasaba and kwella rhythms….. you know he like the way “she” rock huh’ hips and wave n’ sip…rock dem’ hips* …
(thought about ya’ll with this one)…
6 inna de morning two gal inna bed, inna de hotel room It’s way too soon to tell
which one of dem seh me like de most …
Bad man Zulu … choose dem both…
By AmazonRed
August 20, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this
Yeah, after you book your “cheap” fare to Europe, you get over there and realize that your American dollar is worth only .67 cents in Europe.
I have all these Skymiles and can’t use them for my European adventures because it’s just not worth it right now!
By SlimOne
August 20, 2008 12:27 PM | Link to this
Don’t mind me
I feel inspired to write,
Write something so beautiful about family, love, life.
But hasn’t everything already been said?
How can words express a feeling I can’t explain?
How do I translate a feeling from the heart to my brain?
Do they even speak or understand the same language?
One from Venus, one from mars…we all know that anguish.
It’s almost absurd to fathom the thought.
How can I put my emotions into a smooth groove of a love song;
Leaving you feeling fulfilled
like an orgasm at five am?
A pain so intense it kind of leaves you wanting to hurt more.
Hoping the feeling never ends,
Like a cool breath softly blown on the naked skin.
I want my thoughts to be felt,
Felt like a goose-feathered coat in the winter time.
Embracing your temple
Invading your mind
Overtaking your soul
All for a hit of my rhyme.
By Keep it real! From Ohio
August 20, 2008 12:30 PM | Link to this
To: Foots
You hit it right on the head: COMMITTMENT is lacking in both men and women who want the benefits but do not want to make the full committment to the relationship!
Man-up everyone timing is an excuse to get out after you have drank all the kool-aid out of the pitcher!
By Dan
August 20, 2008 12:36 PM | Link to this
@Slim
AAAiigghtt!
By Blanca
August 20, 2008 12:39 PM | Link to this
LaMar I deleted your comment/advertisement. If you’d like to place an ad, you should click here:.
By lulu the lurker
August 20, 2008 12:40 PM | Link to this
I can recall working with this guy that had us all smitten and we all would gush over how fine and suave = swagger in today’s terms and was single as a one dollar bill. Well, he had a girl was just an all around decent brotha as far as well knew. Well he’s a kappa and back in the day that was the shizzle, a Denzle look alike go back about 10 years on the current Denzel and a banging body. Anyway, we’re all invite to a frat function and had the let down of meeting his SO and I can hear it know, another coworked commented on how fine and a good catch = dime in today’s terms and he then understood his reason for becoming engaged. Well to my surprise his reply was no, that has absolutely nothing to do with my decision, it’s just where I am. Lesson learned, it’s never (well not entirely) the woman per se, but where the man is and if he’s ready.
By Blanca
August 20, 2008 12:48 PM | Link to this
Jason Cecil Barrett *Timing Is Everything… …and it sounds like you guys had it. The problem is that you are both obviously very passive personalities. It takes one or the other to have some passion! * To whom are you speaking? (Blanca looks around and wonders…does he mean me?)
By SlimOne
August 20, 2008 12:48 PM | Link to this
Slim now walking around blogsville selling incense while smoking a clove cigarette
By lulu the lurker
August 20, 2008 12:49 PM | Link to this
When I say single as a one dollar bill, meaning not married
By Dan
August 20, 2008 12:49 PM | Link to this
@Lulu
That’s why you see “fine” men with women that might not be considered attractive.
She’s not that into herself, her career, her life, all that jazz and ready to settle down with a man ready to settle down with her. And he’s not into dimes, stars, numbers, paper, he’s ready to settle down with a woman ready to settle down with him.
It’s not timing per se, it’s the capacity for both people to realize that their happiness is worth more than all other aspirations.
By Leggs
August 20, 2008 12:56 PM | Link to this
lulu, we got the meaning (LOL)!
Was thinking along these lines, but wasn’t sure how to phrase it…an excuse to get out after you have drank all the kool-aid out of the pitcher! Well said (LOL)!
By SlimOne
August 20, 2008 12:56 PM | Link to this
This clove cig shole do taste like one of dem funny cigarettes…dayum i’m hungry!
By Tazzee
August 20, 2008 1:05 PM | Link to this
SlimOne Nice - thanks for sharing that.
By kimmie
August 20, 2008 1:10 PM | Link to this
Hey Cee, what’s shakin? Back from meeting/early lunch.
We’ve all heard stories,about the guy that dates a woman for years on end, but is not ready to marry. May even have a few kids. They break up and he turns around and marries someone he’s only known for a few months and he didn’t mess around on the other lady either. The timing, I’m not ready thing was just the excuse.
Sometimes it’s the proximity(and lack of commitment) and not timing that is the real excuse. I’ve known couples that were separated by distance. One or both parties ends up marrying someone local - he/she was just there. Absence doesn’t always make the heart grow fonder, it just makes it look around locally!
By Atl Lady
August 20, 2008 1:22 PM | Link to this
LOL @ Blanca Yeah, he was talkin’ to you (in my South Jersey Italiano voice).
Kimmie I had a friend of mine telling me the other day how she felt a mutual friend had it going on because she stayed in one city to keep her job while her husband lived and worked somewhere else while helping her to pay bills where she lived. I told her that if she thinks he ain’t tippin’ on ole gurl. Ya crazy. Why else would he pay for her to stay away?
By kimmie
August 20, 2008 1:28 PM | Link to this
AtlLady - See, that’s what I’m talking about. Unless one of yall is in Iraq, somebody gotta move, it’s just human nature. You can walk around with your head in the clouds, all romantical if you want to!
By Corkie
August 20, 2008 1:31 PM | Link to this
Did For_Real post a sex ad??????? Now that made me laugh!
By Corkie
August 20, 2008 1:31 PM | Link to this
Did For_Real post a sex ad??????? Now that made me laugh!
By Jamoca
August 20, 2008 1:33 PM | Link to this
achem…Mamma Moca…schools in session and timing is…
don’t even, sis’…. (now whistlin’ the tune to The Andy Griffith Show)
B/C like most parenting books/manuals…they’re under this ridiculous notion that “All” are just the same, and while there will be some similarities here and there, each relationship comes with it’s own unique characteristics, quirks and circumstances…. so, speaking of, as I catch you by the pond, as you dip dem’toes …checkin’ to see if the water’s fine, huh?…oh, the patience of Job…(lol!)
…somehow “she” gets “bum-rushed” into taking (yet anutha) plunge?…I’m sure the water’s great (as usual), but uhhh… MyTwo… can you spare ya’ girl a lil’ something to help keep her afloat amidst all the imminent madness?…lol!
By Corkie
August 20, 2008 1:34 PM | Link to this
Did For_Real post a sex ad??????? Now that made me laugh!
By Foots
August 20, 2008 1:34 PM | Link to this
Anybody going to partake in the Midtown Atlanta Restaurant Week coming up??
By Leggs
August 20, 2008 1:34 PM | Link to this
I went to a wedding of a co-worker 2 years ago. They’re still living apart in different states and seem to be happy. I’m of the firm opinion that what you see on the outside doesn’t necessary dictate what’s going on in the inside but whom am I to question. She says she’s happy and in love and I have to accept that.
By Cemeeli
August 20, 2008 1:35 PM | Link to this
Kimmie Gurl, you know im trying to keep things on lock over here. Your job tryin to make sure they get every ounce of work from what they spent on you? Glad you have a minute here and there to holler at us.
Jamoca…imma say cookies are not healthy for you. Stay healthy, k.
By lurker
August 20, 2008 1:40 PM | Link to this
LOL @ Blanca. Don’t worry about the blog not being up on time. At my job, our system goes down all the time. It’s nice that you keeps us in the loop and all, but it won’t stop them from showing disrespect towards you when it happens again.
By SlimOne
August 20, 2008 1:42 PM | Link to this
Tazz you’re welcome…I’m all over the place. Care you purchase 5 incense for a dolla?
By kimmie
August 20, 2008 1:43 PM | Link to this
Cee - You got it! Got a little downtime right now, but that changes by the day/hour/minute:)
By Jamoca
August 20, 2008 1:53 PM | Link to this
imma say cookies are not healthy for you. Stay healthy, k…
Seeing as it was somebody askin’ me bout’ them doggone cookies, got one into to thinking of those gourmet coconut n’chocolate chip cookies made w/ them hawaiian macadamian NUTS…hmmm?
now stuck wonderin’….why are there traces of the cookie in form of crumbs w/ smears of chocolate in the corners of your mouth…lookin’ at that white mustache, gurl…it’s obvious “you got milk” too?
Nevamind me…I’m on “the zone”…some call it fasting; but whatever the preferred terminology…she knows her lane and HER limit…(whistlin’)
By Cemeeli
August 20, 2008 1:55 PM | Link to this
You can walk around with your head in the clouds, all romantical if you want to!
rotf
Kimmie…now you can do the “he-so-dreamy” like a fool. Be getting unexpected bills from the Inn…Hahaha…
Atl Lady please know that, that sister is like mytwo say: her travel’n vicariously.
By BeBe KID
August 20, 2008 1:58 PM | Link to this
Tile :Toto - Hold The Line This is lyrics from www.lyrics007.com It’s not in the way that you hold me It’s not in the way you say you care It’s not in the way you’ve been treating my friends It’s not in the way that you stayed till the end It’s not in the way you look or the things that you say that you’ll do
Chorus: Hold the line, love isn’t always on time, oh oh oh Hold the line, love isn’t always on time, oh oh oh
It’s not in the words that you told me, girl It’s not in the way you say you’re mine, ooh It’s not in the way that you came back to me It’s not in the way that your love set me free It’s not in the way you look or the things that you say that you’ll do
Chorus
(Instrumental break)
It’s not in the words that you told me It’s not in the way you say you’re mine, ooh It’s not in the way that you came back to me It’s not in the way that your love set me free It’s not in the way you look or the things that you say that you’ll do
Chorus - love isn’t always on time
Hold the line, love isn’t always on time - love isn’t always, love isn’t always on time Hold the line, love isn’t always on time, love isn’t always on time Love isn’t always on time, love isn’t always on time, oh oh oh
A song for the wise!
By Cemeeli
August 20, 2008 2:00 PM | Link to this
Jamoca…what is that tongue-ly language you speaketh?
By lulu the lurker
August 20, 2008 2:02 PM | Link to this
Dan 12:40 yet, that about nails it.
By MLL(mammalongleggs)
August 20, 2008 2:03 PM | Link to this
I doubt it Foots. Has anybody been to Peppers yet? IF so what’s your POV?
By Foots
August 20, 2008 2:04 PM | Link to this
Speaking of bad timing: Has anyone ever met a person that you felt like you were meant to be with while you were already in a good relationship?
I have always wondered about people who married their spouse just cause the time was right, or because all their friends were getting married, and never thought much about them being the “right person” for them. What if they actually do run across the right person for them while they are married? Is that instantaneous cheating, do they get divorced, or do they just kick themselves for the rest of their married lives?
By Foots
August 20, 2008 2:06 PM | Link to this
MLL I’m kind of excited that they are opening up a Peppers in Marietta. I’m interested in the $5 crab legs, and could never get down to Riverdale in time for them on Fridays. I always have to travel to go out, so it would be nice to have an option in Cobb.
By kimmie
August 20, 2008 2:07 PM | Link to this
Cee - I speaks from experience. Of course there are always exceptions(and it takes 2 exceptional people), but long-distance just does not work for me. I was always the one more committed. Can’t do any more one-sided stuff either.
Girl, you oughta see my choi kwang do side-kick! I can’t do the jumping side-kick yet(a few belt levels away). But I feel so cool doing it and the teacher said I did a good job!
By Cemeeli
August 20, 2008 2:09 PM | Link to this
kimmie…Red Inn, Hampton Inn, C** Inn…ect.
By Leggs
August 20, 2008 2:13 PM | Link to this
What if they actually do run across the right person for them while they are married? Is that instantaneous cheating, In some cases yes. In Jimmy Carter’s case yes since he lusted from day one in his heart (LOL). do they get divorced, after a period of time of lusting and drooling some do or do they just kick themselves for the rest of their married lives? A lot more do this and respect what they have and respect the love and foundation they’ve built together.
By Cemeeli
August 20, 2008 2:18 PM | Link to this
Choi Mami uh, you know you making Ginseng grab that rice bowl with more finesse now. you walking around with that belt, gurl. Good for you. I’m excited for the both of you enjoying the art.
Of course there are always exceptions(and it takes 2 exceptional people)
Couldn’t have said that better. EXCEPTIONAL people that are focused and willing to make it happen.
By Jamoca
August 20, 2008 2:21 PM | Link to this
…did the author just ask one to decipher and/or translate a language that she herself not only speaks, but has mastered? …do snap baickas retreat?… let us define an oxymoron, shall we?….lol.
By Dushawn
August 20, 2008 2:23 PM | Link to this
“In a perfect world … its the person inside that matters, right?”
WRONG. And you know this is wrong. For all the non-judging of books by their covers that is spouted, it is the cover that I see first. If the cover doesn’t attract me, I’m not interested in finding out what’s on the inside - unless I’ve got no choice.
Now sometimes, you’ve got to pick up a book for class or work, and you didn’t even think you were going to like the book, but the more you read the book, the more you find out how interesting the book is, then suddenly three months later, you realize that now when you see the book’s cover, your heart starts racing and you can’t wait to pick it up.
Or maybe when you were younger, you didn’t understand or even like the cover of a certain book. Perhaps you saw the hardback version and that turned you off. But a few years after graduating high school, you happen to be wandering around the mall and run into a slim paperback version of the book. All of a sudden, you’re going “daaayam” and trying to find out how you can take that book home with you.
Or even look at innocent little kids. Surely, they have not been corrupted by the “evil” mores of our society. Surely they’d be attracted to any book regardless of cover? Yet which are the ones that get their attention?
Perhaps when you’re old enough that you spend most of your days sitting in a rocking chair reminiscing about the days gone by, you’d care less about the cover on the book in your arms, as long as you enjoy what’s inside. But that book didn’t get there by just being. It caught your attention first. Something about it was different from some of those other books. Perhaps it didn’t seem to be as pretentious, was not as big, looked like you’re friends would be like “wow, bro-man is reading THAT” and even though there are plenty of books in the library like that, when you got to what was inside, you found it to be unique and just what you were looking for.
So, let’s not pretend that it doesn’t matter.
-Dushawn has spoken
By Layla
August 20, 2008 2:26 PM | Link to this
Ok people help me! My husband and I have been married for 4 years. Yesterday he saw a picture of a male friend of mine on the computer (long story) it actually popped up while he was looking for something. The picture was saved in my e-mail. To make a long story short, this is not the first time he has found out that I have been talking to a male friend on the phone. I need to know what to do at this point because all the trust is gone.
Should I just end the marriage because I don’t think this will stop. I love having friends to talk to male or female and it really is all innocent.
I do love my husband and I don’t want to leave but I will if I know in my heart that I cannot stop because it is not fair to him.
By kimmie
August 20, 2008 2:28 PM | Link to this
Dushawn - Awright then! Speak! Please, let’s just be real.
By Pharmdchick
August 20, 2008 2:31 PM | Link to this
well i have perfect breasts. i love them. they are a 34DD with a 27 inch waist and 36 inch hips. and they are round and perky.
I’m just deathly afraid of my DD’s sagging, not being able to go braless and stretch marks on my boobs…so if any of those three happen, I will resort to plastic surgery.
By Dan
August 20, 2008 2:32 PM | Link to this
Disclaimer: While pursuing CNN.com, I found this:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/08/15/o.cant.we.be.friends/index.html
By MLL(mammalongleggs)
August 20, 2008 2:33 PM | Link to this
Has anyone ever met a person that you felt like you were meant to be with while you were already in a good relationship? hmmm Foots isn’t that one of the many reasons why ppl cheat?
On Peppers in Marietta, it’s about time they put something out that way….
By lurker
August 20, 2008 2:37 PM | Link to this
Laylay aka Layla
Something is not adding up. You failed to fill us in on all the juicy in between tidbits. Your husband of four years found an emailed picture and you’re asking strangers if you should get a divorce? I’m looking at you sideways and your story seems a bit suspect to me. IMO
By SlimOne
August 20, 2008 2:39 PM | Link to this
Leggs & Foots But i wonder if the mere fact that they are already married make them believe even more so that the Other person is meant for them….sort of like single folk wish they were married and married folk wish they were single…
To change your question a bit, Has anyone ever been with a person that you felt like you were meant to be with long term but at some weird time they up and tell you they can’t be the person you need them to be, even though they think you two will be together in the future? lol
By AmazonRed
August 20, 2008 2:40 PM | Link to this
Should I just end the marriage because I don’t think this will stop. I love having friends to talk to male or female and it really is all innocent.
Funny how “just end the marriage” is your first thought rather than end those “innocent” friendships.
Did your vows include “foresaking all others” and “for better or worse?” Cuz if so, you knew what you were signing up for.
By Leggs
August 20, 2008 2:41 PM | Link to this
Layla, you need more counseling than this blog can provide. Wow, you’re talking about ending your marriage over these pics. WTH type of conversations are you having with these men that you’re willing to end your marriage? Is your husband a very insecure man? I know a woman who has been friends with a man before he married. They’ve been friends for 2 decades, and knows his wife very well. The wife told her husband a months back that she was uncomfortable with his friendship with my friend and asked him to stop talking to her. 20 years of friendship down the drain because he respected the wishes of his wife. What do you think you should do????
By newlurker
August 20, 2008 2:44