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Keeping the faith in interfaith relationships

My best friend called the other day with a religious relationship quandary of sorts. Her boyfriend, a quasi-practicing Muslim, informed her he’s abstaining from partying, drinking and sex during Ramadan next month.

“Rachel,” who wasn’t really raised with religion but is a default Christian, was perplexed by his no-booze no-sex policy. When I asked why she was upset, she replied that her boyfriend, who is new to Islam, wasn’t really able to answer her questions about why such fasting is important to his faith or him personally. I think she hoped he’d have firm personal reasons for his choice and would be able to share the experience with her.

I’ve not encountered this type of situation, though I’ve often dated outside my religion. I was raised Protestant, but have dated several Jewish men. Our faiths have never really been an issue, save for the occasional “shiksa” comment from outsiders. However, I’ve wondered how that would change should children come into the picture; how would we raise them? Further, while I know a number of women who have converted to their husband’s religion, I don’t believe I could make that adjustment.

Have many of you have experienced interfaith dating? How important is sharing the same faith when it comes to marriage? Do you think it can work, and how? And for some of you, is spirituality paramount to religion and/or denomination?

(I’m out on assignment all day today, but Happy Friday in advance!)

Permalink | Comments (174) | Post your comment | Categories: Relationships

Comments

By SlimOne

August 22, 2008 8:15 AM | Link to this

The weekend is here, YIPPEEE!

Demi No harm no foul, you know it’s all love…and what the hayo were yall still doin up in here that late yesterday? lol btw, i have a pimple on my cheek. I need some of your ‘serume’ if you don’t mind

By Raqi

August 22, 2008 8:46 AM | Link to this

Sharing the same faith is important to me know. And actively practicing the same faith is extremely important. I believe that a family that prays together stays together.

If one partner reads and studies to live by what the faith says about marriage, family, relationships and servitude towards God it creates a lot of friction within the union when the other doesn’t.

I read the Holy Bible and the Talmud. I share and discuss with my husband my findings in what I read. We attend a few couple seminars and some are faith based. It helps to be on the same path trying to reach the same destination.

Although I was not married to my youngest son’s father, we both agreed that religious faith is important. We both agreed on the faith based private school that our son attends.

Faith is a vital element that I hold onto in my life now.

Back when it really didn’t matter and I was not attending services that often, I didn’t care too much about whether or not the person I was dating shared my faith. But once I grew up and started to take my relationship and my life more serious it mattered a great deal.

By LivedNLearned

August 22, 2008 8:48 AM | Link to this

This is simple for me, I don’t date any non-believer, non-Christian’s period. Although you may not be as involved in ministry as I, you must believe the major Christian tenets.

I tried dating a Rasta once and it was nothing but constant power struggles. There were just some things I couldn’t see myself enduring with although I loved the person dearly. It ended amicably, but it was a lesson well learned.

By QC

August 22, 2008 8:53 AM | Link to this

MORNING BLOGGERS.. HAVE A GREAT DAY/WEEKEND ;)

By sherryl

August 22, 2008 9:06 AM | Link to this

Umm…what is a “default Christian?” Being born in America doesn’t make you a default Christian anymore than being born in a garage makes you a car…..

By dd

August 22, 2008 9:10 AM | Link to this

OK, have to ask. What is a “default Christian”? I’m thinking, someone either is, or isn’t, and there’s no such thing as “default”… Are we really so stupid to think that God (any god) is going to be excited about a “default” anything?? wow.

And since she’s pretty much not, then why do you call this an interfaith relationship? it sure looks like one person with faith, and one with not much of anything.

Given that, it looks like the same as any situation where a partner gets passionate about something that the other partner doesn’t share, and can’t understand.

By Brian

August 22, 2008 9:13 AM | Link to this

Morning Guys, Never had a issue with religion and dating.. so far should I say. Got a joke to start the weekend..

There was a magical cliff where, if the wisher jumped, he became exactly what he wished for. One man jumped and wished he were a cardinal and flew away. The other wished he were an airplane and flew away. The last man tripped, stumbled, and said, “Aw, crap!” and he turned into an Falcons fan!! Packer4life

By abc

August 22, 2008 9:13 AM | Link to this

What exactly is a ‘default Christian’? I daresay way too many people don’t understand what Christian really means. And, why does the boyfriend give a flip about a bunch of stuff he doesn’t yet understand? Why has he converted to Islam if he doesn’t understand what it is? Similar to ‘default Christian’, what is a ‘quasi-practicing Muslim’? That’s all a head shaker.

People who don’t share the same religion — even if that’s no religion — are not evenly yoked. Serious tensions are certain to arise.

By Big Juicy

August 22, 2008 9:23 AM | Link to this

The bible advises that we are not to be unequally yoked with anyone. The “stronger” will inevitably have to bear the shortcomings of the weaker one which will cause major frustration.

Blanca, how does one fast (take a break) from sin? If it’s wrong, shouldn’t we not do it at all??

By Foots

August 22, 2008 9:24 AM | Link to this

I’m thinking that “default” means that it is the faith of her parents and her faith, and that she believes in the Christian principles, but that she doesn’t really do the “religious” thing, i.e. going to church.

I dated a Muslim once and although I did convince myself that the fact that we were both spiritual would be enough, it wasn’t. Of course, he knew who Jesus was, but seemed to ridicule Christian beliefs surrounding confession of sins and forgiveness. It was disturbing to hear him tease my faith like that. There was also the question of children. He said that he’d want our child to be raised Muslim. I couldn’t see that happening, no matter how much love I had for him. For those and other reasons, it didn’t last.

abc hit it on the nose. You have to be equally yoked. You won’t find someone with exactly the same amount of faith as you have, but belief in the same things goes a long way toward harmony in the home.

By Cemeeli

August 22, 2008 9:26 AM | Link to this

The “equally yoked” passage talks about matters just like this. Meaning; the practicing/believing christian is obliged to do stuff according to certain beliefs…

…okay, bible thump

2 Corinthian:6

…What harmony is there between Christ and Belial[a]? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?

Default christian??? wth?

Very important to me is your belief in prayer, faith, God and his word. Period.

By Dan

August 22, 2008 9:36 AM | Link to this

Love thy neighbor as you love thyself.

Whatever you do for the least of them, you do for me.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

It amazes me that “religious people” are sooooo intolerant of other cultures, other religious traditions.

I won’t judge becuase that’s not my place. But “evenly yoked” “and other religious traditions”, ridiculous.

Jesus dealt with Jews, Philistines, hookers, slaves, sick people and you can’t deal with “Non Christians”.

This makes me sad….

By MELO

August 22, 2008 9:38 AM | Link to this

Do you have to attend the same church also…wld that be a problem if one is Baptist and the other Methodist,for example???? I grew up Christian but attended different kinds of denominations growing up..my preference is united methodist.My wife is seventh day growing up….i think the tension issue was avoided becoz we both are not fanatics per se,very open minded and i dont mind my wife and kids going to seventh day…their sunday school for kids is what attracts my wife mostly and why she takes the kids there..even tho i dont usually go.We however attend another church on sundays and we both like it, as an alternate.

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 22, 2008 9:38 AM | Link to this

Blanca please explain what a christian by default means???

As for me, I don’t date outside men who don’t believe in God the Father and his Son or Savior Jesus Christ.

Have many of you have experienced interfaith dating? I met a guy I was interested in but when he tld me he was a muslim I knew that our beliefs, down to the way we prayed that it was best for us to not invest in taking it any further.

By What's the Real Question Here?

August 22, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this

I dare say his faith is not the issue, but rather that his interest in practicing a tenet of that faith is going to impinge on her life in what she perceives will be in a negative way (no partying/sex). Sounds like neither one of them are securely grounded in any faith - she’s got no anchor and he’s not sure he buys into the anchor he’s latched onto (ie, “quasi-practicing”).

By A. Nony Mouse

August 22, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this

There is not such thing as a default Christian. We as Christian’s have choosen to be Christains and commited to it. There is no default.

By abc

August 22, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this

I’d venture to say that disregard for what the Bible says about being evenly yoked amounts to religious intolerance on your part, Dan.

Jesus was a Jew, he didn’t just deal with them. The others you cite aren’t religions, they’re characteristics, occupations, etc.

By crownedone82

August 22, 2008 9:46 AM | Link to this

Interfaith dating is an accident waiting to happen. Please don’t set yourself up for failure. There will be no coming together, only a constant separation. One will be pulling east and the other will be pulling west—they’ll never meet. Besides, what will the decisions in the relationship will be based upon? Therefore, sharing the same faith is vitally important to the success of the relationship. I wouldn’t say that spirituality is higher than religion nor is it vice versa. I think that each one has its place and function and in that they are of equal importance. We are spirit beings who do things religiously or according to religion.

By SlimOne

August 22, 2008 9:50 AM | Link to this

Maybe ‘christian by default’ means she doesnt’t necessarily have a religion but does believe in some higher being, and isn’t actively praticing any particular doctrine. ???

I haven’t really dated anyone who was gungho about religion enough for it to be an issue. I would probably have more of an issue with a dude who was an atheist…but all in all, i feel as already stated, need to be more on the same page with regards to huge issues for it to work

  • religion

  • financial ethics

  • morals

  • roles

  • children/child rearing & dicipline

  • sex

  • All other things should be able to be handled w/o having too much contribution to the demise of the marriage/r’ship.

    By MELO

    August 22, 2008 9:51 AM | Link to this

    disregard for what the Bible says about being evenly yoked amounts to religious intolerance on your part,

    Dan can surely be excused on that issue……most of u so-called practicing christians apply the bible selectively any way….one moment u are praying,the very next moment u are cursing….wtf.and then come sunday,u are at the front of the church,waving ur arms in the air…just for show……..

    By Cemeeli

    August 22, 2008 9:52 AM | Link to this

    Dan

    You said: “Jesus dealt with Jews, Philistines, hookers, slaves, sick people …”.

    He sure did, and he did not judge, he loved ALL. Great example!

    But Jesus also taught the ‘none beliver’ they could NOT serve two masters. So while he dealt with all kinds, he spoke ONE faith.

    By MLL(mammalongleggs)

    August 22, 2008 9:53 AM | Link to this

    Dan dealing with people and marrying a person are two different things. Yes we are to love others as we love ourselves and be tolerant of other people but we shouldn’t jump on the band wagon and ride out with them…so to speak

    By SlimOne

    August 22, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this

    Maybe ‘christian by default’ means she doesnt’t necessarily have a religion but does believe in some higher being, and isn’t actively praticing any particular doctrine. ???

    I haven’t really dated anyone who was gungho about religion enough for it to be an issue. I would probably have more of an issue with a dude who was an atheist…but all in all, i feel as already stated, need to be more on the same page with regards to huge issues for it to work

  • religion

  • financial ethics

  • morals

  • roles

  • children/child rearing & dicipline

  • sex

  • All other things should be able to be handled w/o having too much contribution to the demise of the marriage/r’ship.

    By abc

    August 22, 2008 9:56 AM | Link to this

    Slimone, your guess at what a ‘default Christian’ sounds more descriptive of a Deist. Several of the nation’s founding fathers were deist, seeming to refute people’s claims that the country was founded on Christianity — it wasn’t. It wasn’t founded on Deism either, of course.

    Dan, moreover, Jesus’s dealing with people didn’t have much to do with dating them, or developing relationships that lead to marriage with them. It’s rather inapplicable. It’s not like taking the log from one’s own eye, or casting the first stone; it’s about being evenly yoked.

    By Foots

    August 22, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this

    Dan Have you dated someone from another religion and what was your result?

    By crownedone82

    August 22, 2008 10:03 AM | Link to this

    Interfaith dating is an accident waiting to happen. Please don’t set yourself up for failure. There will be no coming together, only a constant separation. One will be pulling east and the other will be pulling west—they’ll never meet. Besides, what will the decisions in the relationship will be based upon? Therefore, sharing the same faith is vitally important to the success of the relationship. I wouldn’t say that spirituality is higher than religion nor is it vice versa. I think that each one has its place and function and in that they are of equal importance. We are spirit beings who do things religiously or according to religion.

    By Leggs

    August 22, 2008 10:03 AM | Link to this

    Good morning. Bet she meant to type “devout” Christian.

    By Dan

    August 22, 2008 10:03 AM | Link to this

    What was Mary Magdeline before she met Jesus?

    And if she wasn’t about nothing, why follow him until his death. Man sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, is that hypocracy that I smell?

    By abc

    August 22, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this

    I agree, melo, hypocrisy and Christianity seem to go hand-in-hand.

    Reminds me of one of my favorite quotes lately: “I’m fine with God, it’s Christians I can’t stand!”

    Not too knocked out with churches lately, either.

    By Cemeeli

    August 22, 2008 10:09 AM | Link to this

    …hmmm…

    Okay Dan i’d retreat on this subject. I never try to thrust my faith/belief on anyone…jus sayin’

    ..now if you wanna…let me know.

    melo yep, a Philistine, pharisee, hypocrite has the tendacy to do this: apply the bible selectively any way….one moment they are praying,the very next moment they are cursing…. you are right about that.

    By SlimOne

    August 22, 2008 10:09 AM | Link to this

    abc thanks, you gave me something to look up.

    Deism is the theistic belief that a supreme God exists and created the physical universe, but shall not intervene in its normal operation. It is related to a religious philosophy and movement that claims to derive the existence and nature of God from reason. It takes no position on what God may do outside the universe. Deists typically reject most supernatural events (prophecy, miracles) and tend to assert that God does not intervene with the affairs of human life and the natural laws of the universe. What organized religions see as divine revelation and holy books, most deists see as interpretations made by other humans, rather than as authoritative sources. Deists believe that God’s greatest gift to humanity is not religion, but the ability to reason.

    By Atl Lady

    August 22, 2008 10:10 AM | Link to this

    If she’s a default Christian and they are planning to get married, why hasn’t his or her faith issues come up sooner? What was his faith before becoming a quasi-practicing Muslim and why is he doing this now? We’ve talked about timing on this blog. I’ve heard of women abstaining the last couple of weeks prior to a wedding and the couples were of Christian faith and the men had a slight problem with it. If she loves him, she’s going to do the digging to find out what’s what. I would.

    By abc

    August 22, 2008 10:18 AM | Link to this

    I presume you mean to say that Mary Magdalene was a prostitute, Dan, but she became a disciple; she’s never identified as a prostitute in the Bible, but she had 7 demons exorcised from her as described in Luke, and there is some etymology that ties together the name of her home town, Migdal, with the word for hairdresser, medgaddlala, which was a colloquialism for prostitute at the time — it’s completely speculative that she was a hooker. I’m not real sure how that equates to hypocrisy on my part. Maybe you just have an anti-Christian jones?

    There was the adultress that washed Jesus’s feet with her hair, let he without sin cast the first stone, all of that. I think I already addressed that.

    By Dan

    August 22, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

    @Raqi

    I don’t impose my faith on anyone.

    I simply marvel at how uber religious people going to heaben any minute practice their faiths.

    By Demi

    August 22, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this

    Slim I am a reform man. As of today, I am a wannabe quasi-practicing Muslim. I will NOT be skeet skeeting any where as of today….for one whole month.

    Demi passes out at the thought of soldiers being backed up for longer than 12 hours

    By Foots

    August 22, 2008 10:29 AM | Link to this

    melo There are no perfect Christians either. I’m not. But do I believe and have I done as Romans 10:9-10 say to do? Yes. If we make it a choice between only being Perfect and being a Hypocrite, we are all Hypocrites.

    Dan Have you dated someone from another religion and what was your result?

    By Cemeeli

    August 22, 2008 10:33 AM | Link to this

    ah…Hey Demi…why are you blasphemy all over the blog? ;)

    By Tazzee

    August 22, 2008 10:34 AM | Link to this

    Morning Folks!

    abc this Maybe you just have an anti-Christian jones made me chuckle. I’m loving your comments thus far.

    As far as inter-faith dating, I’ve never done it. My problem has been with those that have the same beliefs - they just don’t follow them. All men I’ve dated have been self-proclaimed Christians, they just don’t believe in the ‘flee fornication’ part of the bible.

    By SlimOne

    August 22, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this

    Demi I respect your decision. You’ve inspired me as well. The CT will be put on a fast for the next 30 days….see how Fast I can get 1000 earmuffilectomy’s in 30 days…Slim now passing the f/k out that the CT might not be able to withstand all the pressure

    By Dan

    August 22, 2008 10:37 AM | Link to this

    @Foots

    I’ve dated women across many religious traditions, and it taught me a lot about their different faiths, their cultures that have evolved around them, and their religious customs.

    This along with life events sent me on a journey to discover a lot not only about my own faith, but others as well.

    I’ve spoken with clerics of different traditions, and I am at peace with my faith. That said, you all can continue to live your lives as you choose, denying the cross cultural symbolisms that all religions share.

    I’ll lurk on this one and let this be yet another way that you people choose to define, deny, and exclude “others”.

    By MLL(mammalongleggs)

    August 22, 2008 10:38 AM | Link to this

    LOL Tazzee girl you nailed it on the head!

    By SlimOne

    August 22, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this

    Demi I respect your decision. You’ve inspired me as well. The CT will be put on a fast for the next 30 days….see how Fast I can get 1000 earmuffilectomy’s in 30 days…Slim now passing the f/k out that the CT might not be able to withstand all the pressure

    By Cemeeli

    August 22, 2008 10:42 AM | Link to this

    melo truly when i see “church folk” i allow myself to not get caught in there thump, if you will of scriptures cliches and religous tradition. And after observing other foolishness i am thinking “ye pharisee!” still gotta love ‘em. That’s why i keep my spiritual/faith active and be true to God and self first. Do i sin? Yes. How is it if i can speak/believe it but my practice is invalid? I consistently go to my faith belief for correction and strength.

    By MELO

    August 22, 2008 10:42 AM | Link to this

    There are no perfect Christians either. I’m not i agree altho i have a problem with those who seem to openly disregard their faith,in full view of other pple or those who seem not to understand that which they hold so dear to their sleeves. Practice what u preach,is the doctrine i wld rather go by coz if u dnt,u take a whole slew of pple with u.If living ur faith is too hard, i prefer u are not at the fore front of public displays of christian faith.

    By MELO

    August 22, 2008 10:44 AM | Link to this

    My problem has been with those that have the same beliefs - they just don’t follow them. All men I’ve dated have been self-proclaimed Christians, they just don’t believe in the ‘flee fornication’ part of the bible. i reproduced that for emphasis..with ur implied and assumed,tacit approval……..lol

    By Tazzee

    August 22, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this

    To answer the other questions:

    How important is sharing the same faith when it comes to marriage? Very important - it’s number one on my list. I try my best to live my life in a way that pleases God. My main source to determine what would please Him is the Holy Bible. If my mate doesn’t share the same beliefs, we are setting ourselves up for disaster in marriage. Furthermore, because I believe in the traditional order of a marriage, I have to be secure in the fact that the head of my household is getting direction from the One I believe holds my life in His hands.

    Do you think it can work, and how? I only think it can work when one or both people aren’t really devoted to their faith. In that way, one can be converted or they both can find a mutual belief system.

    And for some of you, is spirituality paramount to religion and/or denomination? Denomination doesn’t really matter to me. My family is pretty much Baptist, although I wasn’t raised in the church. The first church I attended was Methodist. As long is they believe in salvation and use Christ as the example for their lives - I’m fine. Church attendance is important, but I’d rather have a man that truly knows and loves Christ and attends church occasionally, over one that goes to church all the time but does because it’s ‘the right thing to do’

    By SlimOne

    August 22, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this

    Demi I respect your decision. You’ve inspired me as well. The CT will be put on a fast for the next 30 days….see how Fast I can get 1000 earmuffilectomy’s in 30 days…Slim now passing the f/k out that the CT might not be able to withstand all the pressure

    By Raqi

    August 22, 2008 10:47 AM | Link to this

    Dan why are you addressing that statement to me? I never said anything about imposing my faith on any one.

    By For Real

    August 22, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

    Dude: Oh ish baby you so wet.

    Chick: You make me that way baby get it.

    Knock at door

    Dude: WHO THE FLUCK IS IT!!!!

    It is I Jesus.

    Dude: Oh ish Jesus at doe. Girl put yo clothes on.

    By Foots

    August 22, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this

    Dan That said, you all can continue to live your lives as you choose

    Great!! Thanks!! I think you read way too much into what others have said. Nobody is denying anything. Even Jewish people want their children to marry other Jewish people for the continuity of their faith.

    Your experiences dating any and everybody have been good, I’m sure that a woman of yours could believe that a four-leaf clover on Pluto is running things and you’d be okay with it, and that’s good for you. I admire your inclusionary dating habits and applaud you for your enlightenment. Some others have tried to date people who don’t share the same beliefs and have not had good experiences, and so they learn to choose people with whom they have more things in common with and with whom they can share beliefs. That’s not you, and that’s okay with me.

    Enjoy your lurking today.

    By Dan

    August 22, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this

    @Raqi

    My Fault

    @Ceemeli

    That first line was in response to your post

    By Atl Lady

    August 22, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this

    Dan You say define, deny, and exclude others. No one on this blog excluded anyone based soley on their belief system. We were discussing what we would do in a meaningful intimate relationship with someone we plan to spend the rest of our lives with. So far most have said that that person has to be on the SAME PAGE in almost every aspect and that includes spirituality. You started with the out and out Christian bashing. I’ve met and talked with people of other faiths and beliefs and I go by the live and let live rule. But that’s me!!! Are you going to bash other faiths for killing in the name of their God??

    By SCY

    August 22, 2008 10:58 AM | Link to this

    What a phony…why is he abstaining from drinking or sex during Ramadan. If he’s a muslim shouldn’t he be doing that anyway? Either you are or you aren’t pick one and be done with it…

    By Cemeeli

    August 22, 2008 10:59 AM | Link to this

    Dan…hey sweetie, i wubb you!

    i’m jus sayin’

    If it came to it. I would want the WORST faith believer to debate/conclude/and pray with, me than the BEST religious nut.

    By Dan

    August 22, 2008 11:04 AM | Link to this

    @ATLlady

    Lnl @ 8;48

    While I understand that most of us will speak from our own religious traditions, there is something to be said for not only respecting, but examining and understanding other faiths.

    Now to your comment about killing in the name of God, who do you mean Christians or Muslims or Jews? Because in the span of human history these three religions has perpetuated the most egregious act of brutality in the name of their respective God.

    When really, they are all sides to the same coin.

    @Foots

    4 leaf clover? Really?

    If someone chooses to believe that they are not alone and that a “higher power” guides them and ties them to the rest of us in love, then if it is a 4 leaf clover, yep, I’m all for it.

    Can you say the same?

    By Cemeeli

    August 22, 2008 11:05 AM | Link to this

    Give me the WORST faith *believer to debate/conclude/and pray with, and FOR me, than the BEST religious nut any day!*

    I had to repost.

    multitasking

    By Foots

    August 22, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this

    Dan *If someone chooses to believe that they are not alone and that a “higher power” guides them and ties them to the rest of us in love, then if it is a 4 leaf clover, yep, I’m all for it.

    Can you say the same?*

    Of course, people can believe what they want to believe. It’s a free country in that regard.

    Would I marry them? No.

    Would you?

    there is something to be said for not only respecting, but examining and understanding other faiths.

    Is examining and understanding all other faiths an actual requirement for people to lead happy, healthy lives, Dan, or just your personal belief of how things should be?

    By Demi

    August 22, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this

    Deists believe that God’s greatest gift to humanity is not religion, but the ability to reason.

    Yep, one of the reasons Satan fell…*Not only dude wanted to be ‘GOD’, but he had a deep hatred toward the creatures made like non other.

    Cee woman please…placing a halo cap and duct taping turkey wings on each shoulder blade…I am an angel, see me fly!!

    Slim I am sure we can get a few dry humps in over the next 30 days…like, why do I feel as if, Zeus is standing behind me with lighting bolt in hand?

    By mel

    August 22, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this

    Does not work. Christians are lead by Jesus and muslims by Allah? Jesus himself said He is the only way to the father and into heaven, such discord is an uneyen yoke (Biblical term) and is not one that is recommended. Why? because one is not free to worship and serve the Lord when the other is serving satan. Lightness and darkness don’t mix well.

    By Cemeeli

    August 22, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

    ironic:confidental mail a 34 year old guy, a friend of an associate here in the office was diagnosised with bone marrow cancer just yesturday. My co-worker sends the thread/mail and ask me to keep his pal in prayer.

    Out of all the years i’ve known, spoken, and seen this person he’s never mentioned his faith or belief.

    faith always prevails

    By Tazzee

    August 22, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

    Dan one can respect, examine and understand other faiths without choosing to practice that faith or marry someone of that faith.

    If I marry a man of another faith I am essentially saying that I am choosing to practice that faith. No one here is condemning someone else’s faith.

    By Chink

    August 22, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this

    Good Morning All

    This topic is sure to be a heated one…

    But I did want to address something I noticed…When you hold strong in your beliefs you are judged as being “not open to others”. When in reality it is for your own spriritual progression you choose your faith. Not to rebuke other faiths but fulfill your own life with your belief…

    Its not an attempt to divide……

    By mytwocents

    August 22, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this

    abc & melo On hypocrisy… I know a chick who is a medgaddlala - well maybe that’s too strong a word cuz she gets no pay. But breaks neck to get to Church no matter what, feels guilty when she doesn’t, denounces homosexuality as a sickness & a choice… Which is why she’s glad her family member prayed himself out of it & into a marriage complete with fatherhood. Which of course has now collapsed. WTF!?!

    By For Real

    August 22, 2008 11:35 AM | Link to this

    I could be wrong but I think what Dan is saying is if goal is to get closer to God why leave a stone unturned? Why not study other religions to get a greater understanding? I don’t believe he is saying it’s required but that it is a logical approach to reach the goal of a closer relationship with God. It seems that some people are unwilling to question God and that is just not logical to me.

    By For Real

    August 22, 2008 11:40 AM | Link to this

    Chink I agree with 100% but it just seems that some only hold strong when defending but no so much in practice? An example would be any preacher. Oh and I know we are not perfect….

    By Foots

    August 22, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this

    For Real It seems that some people are unwilling to question God and that is just not logical to me.

    But that’s not the topic. The topic was about dating someone of another faith. It was NOT about questioning God or denying the importance of other faiths. It was about sharing our experiences with interfaith dating, which many have. For Dan’s reference, the topic questions are listed above in Blanca’s entry for today.

    By SlimOne

    August 22, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

    Demi I think we should start a DRY HUMPING CRUSADE, where we travel all across the country trying to bring it back. I mean those were the days when you humped until you got jean burn. lol! I’m sure that would help decrease teen pregnancy & std cases.

    Slim now passing out “Dry Hump, Avoid the bump” buttons.

    By Binford2K

    August 22, 2008 11:46 AM | Link to this

    For Real: Good point.

    What if God’s plan was for you to be with someone of a differing faith? How would you know? Why is it that most everyone’s “plan” is so safe, plain and predictable? Perhaps one’s calling is to affect one person’s life - and that is it (which may be paramount in itself).

    I dated a girl who was a fundamentalist and I, as an agnostic (best label for me I suppose), I was curious to learn her faith. I went to church and asked questions and didn’t criticize - but she always kept me at bay; which I thought was a crock.

    It is also amazing a lot of times, when you discuss religion that people can’t articulate what they believe or WHY they believe it. I respect someone who can explain their viewpoint and can agree to disagree. I just have a harder time respecting someone that doesn’t know.

    By Foots

    August 22, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this

    PoppaGrande I have a legal question to ask you about illegal traffic stops. Are you around?

    By Zig

    August 22, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this

    Those who are worried about all the alleged hypocrites in church on Sunday—well, don’t let that bother you.

    Having one more there won’t make that much difference. Come join us!

    By Tazzee

    August 22, 2008 11:49 AM | Link to this

    For Real I have studied other religions, I went through a period in college when I had an “anti-Christian jones” so I was looking at other beliefs and religions.

    Now that I’m rooted in the faith that I’ve chosen, I do research when I question certain things and I question God all the time - but I search for the answers from Him, not from another religion or someone else’s beliefs.

    By Atl Lady

    August 22, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this

    For Real I understand what you’re saying and I agree to a certain degree. My problem with Dan was that he started bashing Christians alone. Had he said there are hypocrites in all faiths, that would’ve sat better with most us because that’s a universal truth. Religion is a hot button topic period. Everyone’s walk with whoever their God is is different and the relationship is very personal so some make it personal and take it personal. I tried to stay on topic like a good little girl, but I got caught up in the under current. :-)

    By 'KP' (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

    August 22, 2008 11:57 AM | Link to this

    Good morning bloggers!

  • There is no such thing as a default Christian. Christianity is a ‘relationship’ and not a religion. Too many people claim to be Christians when in reality they are simply church goers. As a result many people, including this MIA family, get turned off by the actions of these hypocritical Christians.

  • Many people use Jesus’ interaction with Jews, Gentiles, as a reason to connect/yoke with just anyone. Let us remember that Jesus’ interaction with people of all levels was to reveal Himself as Messiah. The Word tells Christian to be in the world, but not of the world. We are not be yoked with unbelievers. However, we are to love all of our brothers and sisters because none of us is in a position to judge anyone. We all have sinned and will continue to sin because of our human nature.

  • Inter-faith dating has and will continue to be practiced by people. Inter-faith relationships works as long as everything is going well in a relationship. However, we know challenges will present themselves and faith will come into play. The true test of someone’s beliefs is confirmed when the trials and natural occurrences of life present themselves. Everyone believes in something…Jesus, Allah, Buddha, nothing, etc. A Christian can date a Muslim, but what happens when children come on the scene? What happens when adversity hits? Whose beliefs are you going to follow? Faith differences cause too many opportunities for disconnect and isn’t a best practice for those seeking ‘healthy’ relationships. The Word says ‘how can two people walk together unless they agree?’ Two people in relationship have to walk to a common beat and religious differences don’t allow this to happen.

  • We have to avoid being persuaded by those who put up a ‘religious’ front and assess a person’s beliefs by their behavior. No one should have to tell you they are a Christian. You should be able to tell this by their lifestyle. If a person doesn’t exhibit the character of Christ in their actions, then you have to wonder how sincere their Christian relationship is.

  • (KP putting his soapbox away!)

    5.

    By Foots

    August 22, 2008 11:58 AM | Link to this

    Binford I dated a girl who was a fundamentalist and I, as an agnostic (best label for me I suppose), I was curious to learn her faith.

    If you are agnostic, that technically means you don’t know whether or not God exists right? It seems to follow that you would be particularly open to and curious to learn about any religion, especially to see if they could prove their beliefs one way or the other.

    It is also amazing a lot of times, when you discuss religion that people can’t articulate what they believe or WHY they believe it. I respect someone who can explain their viewpoint and can agree to disagree.

    I do too. Since I could use enlightenment, could you explain how you came to believe that you are agnostic?

    By abc

    August 22, 2008 11:58 AM | Link to this

    For Real, as far as studying other religions goes, how about other kinds of supernatural phenomena as well? Religious texts are full of references to witches, people who can see the future, spirits, demons, etc. etc.

    Are they not all informational on some level? ‘Course, the Bible says to avoid all that supernatural stuff.

    How many people here have experienced the supernatural? Does it have any impact on your religious beliefs to have/have not experienced such things?

    God is the ultimate supernatural phenomenon.

    By Chink

    August 22, 2008 11:59 AM | Link to this

    For Real

    If you know that we are not perfect then you wouldnt be worried about whether someone is a hyprocrit or not.

    As for practice this does not only apply to religious folk …everyone does it. Shoot have you ever said “that aint fair” guess what thats life!

    But I can be only accountable for me and what I put out …and Chink is 100% because I have to live with myself everyday.

    That preacher you talking about will be held accountable too ..but I am not their maker.

    By parentof4

    August 22, 2008 12:02 PM | Link to this

    No you should not date anyone outside of your faith. That includes denominations. Yes it does state in the Bible that you should not be unequally yoked, which means you should only date interfaith. The denominations are a big one, because there are some that believe Jesus is God in the flesh i.e. Oneness and there are others who are Trinity believers i.e. God the Father, Holy Spirit, and the Son.

    Of course I have found that there are more “believers” who do not even know the difference from those two schools.

    This does not mean that I am intolerant to others. Love all as Christ and pray that you are the light to lead them to Christ.

    As for the hypocrates…well no one can judge anyone’s spiritual life. Also the only one that knows all is God. I understand we are all sinners saved by Grace and I choose to listen to God and follow his direction for my life. That does not mean I will not fall or sin. It just means that he will pick me up and place my feet on that solid ground.

    Dan: It does not really matter if Mary was truely a prostitute or not. What matters is when she heard of the true savior, she left her old ways and allowed herself to be born again. For those who follow Christ, her sins were washed away. So she should be the one you admire. Look at how she lead her life before Christ, and now look at how she lives her life after Christ. That is how we should live. Set apart.

    By Poppa Grande

    August 22, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this

    Foots

    I’m here just reading, and looking at the evolution of the topic. I’m packing because I am headed out of town for a funeral. Those airline folks got us good. No Bereavement discount

    So what’s up?

    By NY2GA

    August 22, 2008 12:07 PM | Link to this

    Her boyfriend, a quasi-practicing Muslim, informed her he’s abstaining from partying, drinking and sex during Ramadan next month.“Rachel,” who wasn’t really raised with religion but is a default Christian, was perplexed by his no-booze no-sex policy.

    Huh??? I could get past those first few lines.

    Maybe this isn’t really a question of faith. Maybe this dude just needs to take a step back and get his life together. And if she is perplexed by his new policy and that is her SO…then maybe she needs to get her life together too.

    By Foots

    August 22, 2008 12:07 PM | Link to this

    Poppa Can I send you an email?

    By Foots

    August 22, 2008 12:07 PM | Link to this

    Poppa Can I send you an email?

    By The Truth

    August 22, 2008 12:14 PM | Link to this

    Basketball

    USA 101 Argentina 81

    Gold medal game on sunday

    By MELO

    August 22, 2008 12:16 PM | Link to this

    worried about all the alleged hypocrites in church on Sunday for me,its not about sunday,but every day as i go about my bizzness….they dnt bother me as to affect me,but im trbled for them altho they proly bother God more…

    By Demi

    August 22, 2008 12:18 PM | Link to this

    Slim help me pick a theme song for our tour…

    I’m bringin’ HUMP’IN back(Yeah) You motha*ers watch how I attack(Yeah) If that’s your girl, better watch your back(Yeah) ‘Cause she’ll burn it up for me, and that’s a fact(Yeah) (Take em’ to the chorus!)*

    or

    I don’t see nothing wrong with a little hump and grind I don’t see nothing wrong with a little hump and grind

    Slim we need to turn this into our own ministry…Think of all those marriage ‘christian’ couple that have no idea of how to keep the passion alive in their marriage…because they’re funding their pastor’s cars, houses and jets.

    By newlurker

    August 22, 2008 12:18 PM | Link to this

    especially to see if they could prove their beliefs one way or the other

    ??? how does one go about *proving” his/her beliefs, and why would this be required?

    By Tazzee

    August 22, 2008 12:21 PM | Link to this

    The Truth is that the final score? I keep refreshing my screen and it still says “in progress”

    I guess I can stop refreshing now, LOL

    By Atl Lady

    August 22, 2008 12:23 PM | Link to this

    Truth Argentina was the country that put us out last time wasn’t it? My boss isn’t here today so I’m tempted to watch the rest in his office.

    By Got that?

    August 22, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this

    Couples of the same religion don’t last. So, the religion isn’t the problem. It’s the person’s relationship to religion. Most use religion as a weapon, i.e. right vs. wrong or moral vs. immoral, instead of an access to spirituality, which looks for the shared commonality of all things, i.e. oneness. True faith arises only when one’s inherent spirituality guides them, irrespective of whatever religious belief they may choose to follow.

    By MELO

    August 22, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this

    Of course I have found that there are more “believers” who do not even know the difference from those two schools to be honest,im one of those.My lyfe guiding verses read: do unto others as u wld like them to do unto u copied and and adapted from smewhere.. honor thy father and mother be a good neighor…… charity begins at home My lyfe rules are few and simple,i dont give too much phuck about knowing what verse in the holy bible, the old testament etc…nah… i wont worry too much about all that. There is a Creator,pray to him on the regular and be a good citizen and im good…….no bible thumping,reading blah blah. When i go to church,the preacher’s read and sermon will do as far as bible ref is concerned,just to re-inforce what i proly already know…. What most of u all know about the bible and for which u think u have researched a lot and are auhtoritative on is proly what causes all confusion,makes u discriminate and is what causes so much division in our society,even among so called believers(christians) I wont have none of that and will treat all as equals..Only God will judge u and me.

    By The Truth

    August 22, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this

    Tazz it’s over. They should have won by more. BTW, how are you?

    By Foots

    August 22, 2008 12:27 PM | Link to this

    newlurker how does one go about *proving” his/her beliefs, and why would this be required?

    Since Binford identifies most with agnosticism, he’s a good person to ask. From what I read, agnostics aren’t convinced one way or another that there is a God and need proof to make their decisions. But Binford should be able to articulate what he believes and shore up our understanding.

    By SlimOne

    August 22, 2008 12:33 PM | Link to this

    Demi I’m loving those songs. I think we should have this song as our opener on every tour location:

    Slim and Demi’s here, and we’re in effect. Want you to hump it,babe.Coolin by day then at night humpin’ up a sweat. Cmon girls, lets go show the guys that we know, How to become number one humper in a hot hump show. Now hump it!Ah, hump it - hump it good….oooh baby baby…

    We need to stock up on some 30gal collection buckets though.

    By Tazzee

    August 22, 2008 12:35 PM | Link to this

    Truth I’m great - thanks for asking. How are you?

    By Poppa Grande

    August 22, 2008 12:36 PM | Link to this

    sure

    biggpoppa@lycos.com

    By Cemeeli

    August 22, 2008 12:42 PM | Link to this

    Demi-son what’s on your mind bruh? Cee leaves the topic room

    Atl Lady hey gurl. Religion a hot button topic? noooo…we not press that button. :)

    ….thanks for the score Truth.

    By DasV

    August 22, 2008 12:42 PM | Link to this

    KP appreciated your post… specifically this ———> You should be able to tell this by their lifestyle. i hadn’t come out of lurkesville because from the outset i was perplexed at a “muslim” drinking and sexing…. obviously that is why it was termed ‘quasi-muslim’ and anything termed quasi is aka ‘almost’ and almost doesnt cut it in my world. either you is or you aint and i dont have to ask you which it is, i only have to look at how you live and (bec out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks) listen to what you say when you verbalize your thoughts.

    but i am in no way judging… bec you have to start somewhere. the self-discipline needed to live a spiritual life is more than whats needed to live a religious one. no path is the same cause no two ppl are.

    By The Truth

    August 22, 2008 12:46 PM | Link to this

    Tazz outside of a paper cut and a stubbed toe I’m fine. LOL J/K

    Atl yeah, they beat US last time. This one is a wrap though.

    Poppa I didn’t know lycos still existed. They are ancient. Are you blogging using a 386 computer too? We need to do a technology update for you. LMAO

    By Cemeeli

    August 22, 2008 12:49 PM | Link to this

    DasV i agree…self-discipline needed to live a spiritual life is more than whats needed to live a religious one. then i get off this like now.

    Hey where you been, and how are you? how was your summer vacation?

    By Poppa Grande

    August 22, 2008 12:52 PM | Link to this

    Truth

    I didn’t know lycos still existed. They are ancient. Are you blogging using a 386 computer too? We need to do a technology update for you. LMAO

    Yeah, they are old, but it still works. This one actually hits me on the hip with my Blackjack phone.

    By Atl Lady

    August 22, 2008 12:53 PM | Link to this

    CeeNot only pressed the button, but held it down! :-) I’m on my way out to lunch finally. I’ll be back in a little bit.

    By Demigod33

    August 22, 2008 12:53 PM | Link to this

    Cemeeli you guess right…have a lot on the mind

    Slim thanks for the laugh…I need to think for a bit, log’n off

    Good Day to All!!!

    By Poppa Grande

    August 22, 2008 12:59 PM | Link to this

    Truth

    BTW, I am all for upgrading my Commodore Vic 20…lol

    By MELO

    August 22, 2008 1:00 PM | Link to this

    How many people here have experienced the supernatural? as an african, i know a whole lot about those…true and fakes…my uncle(dnt even knew him) went to war during the liberation days..70s.typically they travelled thru the bush to another sponsoring country.Independence came and there was no word from him..many died and we presumed him dead too. About 28 years after independence,it so happened that my uncle and his comrades had been killed by the settler rulers soldiers,in a remote part of the cntry(our cntry) and had been buried in shallow mass graves by villagers(the soldiers wld typically command villagers to do that) But here cmes the supernatural aspect:my uncle possessed one of the local villagers(did not know each other),revealed his real name and explained in detail in which part of the cntry he was from and his first and last name.Asked that he be given a proper burial and for them to summon his family.In fact,coz he waz in mass graves with others,they(him and the other buried guerillas) indicated exactly what they were wearing and id marks,to guide those who went about collecting the bones. The rest is history,suffice to say we interred his bones and gave him a decent burial…… True story folks……

    By Cemeeli

    August 22, 2008 1:06 PM | Link to this

    Demi —>have a lot on the mind.

    Sweetie you said it true! There is a lot going on!…and if faith can see me too, and through…same for you.

    By arkansas1

    August 22, 2008 1:13 PM | Link to this

    Hello bloggers,

    This an interesting topic!

    Faith,knowledge,study and committment is what allows you to have spiritual connection with your GOD.

    We have put a description on religion and it is just a word too many people speak about!

    We sometimes allow ourselves to follow a man or a woman for a guidance and they cannot provide that for you!

    We all need to use a own mind because the creater gave each one of us a brain to use everyday to make good decisions.

    So if you are using the good common sense the creator gave you the religion should never keep you from getting together in a relationship!

    By the way: Truth, you are one of a kind! A predator like a lot of men who is just letting the women know what to expect when it comes to dealing with you! Keep it real Truth

    By DasV

    August 22, 2008 1:24 PM | Link to this

    CeeCee doing well, chica. no summer break for me…. not for district ppl. been busy … but mostly the topics havent moved me to come out of lurkesville. im here most days though.

    how are you?? times all around tough…. i know. keep your head up.

    you in my thoughts too Demi. ‘preciate the text yesterday.

    By i'm swiss

    August 22, 2008 1:34 PM | Link to this

    Views on religion really go to the core of one’s worldview & value system. Seems to be just asking for trouble to be with someone who’s core beliefs are not inline with your own.

    Of course, that drastically reduces my dating pool, especially in the south, as not only do I not believe any of it, but I actually think religion has done more harm in the world than pretty much anything to ever spring from the mind of man. That tends not to go over very well with most around these parts.

    By Foots

    August 22, 2008 1:40 PM | Link to this

    Swiss Of course, that drastically reduces my dating pool

    You were lucky, because you found your wife-to-be out of that pool anyway. Do you and your fiancee hold the same core belief system?

    By Cemeeli

    August 22, 2008 1:44 PM | Link to this

    DasV gurl, you been working all this time? And here i thought you’ve been frolicing all summer. :) Okay,. How are your boys? New field?

    By MELO

    August 22, 2008 1:48 PM | Link to this

    just got a twitt from Obama..wanna knw..???????

    By SlimOne

    August 22, 2008 1:50 PM | Link to this

    I’M SO SWEEEPY…yawn

    Would seeing a ghost/spirit of sorts, count as experiencing something supernatural?

    By i'm swiss

    August 22, 2008 1:55 PM | Link to this

    Foots — We do have very similar views, yes.

    I’ve never really been with any truly gung-ho religious girls, but my ex was what I like to call a “CYA” Catholic (as in “cover your azz”). I don’t think she truly bought into it, but went through the motions, just in case it was true. Even forced me to go away to this silly “couples counseling” getaway weekend before we were married. Funny thing though — she’s the one who turned out to be gay & cheated repeatedly, so I guess she wasn’t too concerned about her religious beliefs. ;-)

    By Binford2K

    August 22, 2008 1:55 PM | Link to this

    Agnostic:

    1: a person who holds the view that any ultimate reality (as God) is unknown and probably unknowable; broadly : one who is not committed to believing in either the existence or the nonexistence of God or a god

    I do believe in forces greater than humans

    Foots:

    The concept of God is really beyond human comprehension (as defined above, which I see as the truth)…

    Let me make my answer as concise as possible… Basically, in any religion you take supernatural or implausible acts/scenarios and take them as fact because you believe in your heart they are true (Faith in Jesus both in dying for humanities sins and his resurrection). I’ve read about 85% of the Bible and you you know what - it never struck me for a second as being the divine word of God breathed in to man to record it. There’s a lot you have to take at face value. And there’s more that is geared to the supremacy of men, because at that time in the world - it was a labor-based world. And it excludes the fact that at our core, we are both animals who are just as primitive as dogs (in certain ways), but more cognitive - supposedly imaged after a creator.

    There’s no problem if you see and read the Bible and take that at face value and have the faith that these supernatural things are true and that is the way that is.

    But that is why it is called a leap of faith if you will.

    I left out a lot - but I don’t have hours here ;p

    I had a few margaritas at lunch, so this may be a bit disjointed :)

    By Beautiful

    August 22, 2008 1:56 PM | Link to this

    waving

    tazzee regarding your post yesterday, your friend was right. i believe the same.

    i woke up thinking today was thurs. i’m glad i was wrong. ;-)

    hi kp! believe it or not, i hear you.

    By m'karyl

    August 22, 2008 2:04 PM | Link to this

    I have been involved with ppl of different faith backgrounds…several ppl who professed some sort of socio-cultural belief systems (think Hebrew Isrealites, Rastas, NOI, BCN, etc)and I have found that a commonly shared view as well as a commonly shared lifestyle in practing those views is important…I am not changing what I believe or how I exemplify it based upon someone’s faith system…anymore than I am going to put it to the back burner if someone else does not have as centered a faith system as I do…there has to be some commonality for things to meld…and it also depends on how active the faith practices are for each person.

    By Foots

    August 22, 2008 2:05 PM | Link to this

    Binford There’s no problem if you see and read the Bible and take that at face value and have the faith that these supernatural things are true and that is the way that is. But that is why it is called a leap of faith if you will.

    Earlier you said that you had a problem with people not being able to articulate what they believe or WHY they believe it. If someone told you exactly what you said above, that they have read the Bible at face value and believe it to be true, could you respect that, though they had no other formal arguments to advance their viewpoint?

    By Cemeeli

    August 22, 2008 2:10 PM | Link to this

    hi beautiful, i haven’t read you in a few. How are you?

    By DasV

    August 22, 2008 2:10 PM | Link to this

    CEEcee yep! working. boys are good… real good. proud moms cheesing decided on my own field cause its like what today’s topic is all about… the show and prove. being ‘bout it and just talkin it.

    its too easy to meet someone like binford and be impressed with his ‘logic’ on things. guess im beyond that… now i dont need you to tell me, i need you to show me what you about. what does what all you just said translate into?? (not you binny per se)

    that make sense?

    By 2CPTG

    August 22, 2008 2:11 PM | Link to this

    Random Thought:

    don’t take this literally….

    If one is not born a christian by default, then, is he a sinner by default; and somehow gotta get right? just askin..

    By Tazzee

    August 22, 2008 2:15 PM | Link to this

    I just read some of the after hours comments on yesterday’s topic. Some good POV if ask me.

    By Kym aka Lady Sage

    August 22, 2008 2:23 PM | Link to this

    Good afternoon all,

    I think faith is important in any relationship…and frankly everyone believes in something..it is just a matter of how firm are you going to stand on that faith and belief. I frankly don’t see a problem with inter-faith marriages. I know of a couple that there is a Muslim(man) and Christian(female) and their child knows and practices both religions. please note I said religions because in essences both of their faiths have the same principal. They both shared a strong moral upbringing and raise their child as such. So it is possible.

    PoppaG How is the first week of school going for you? I am over here drowning in agency law. Ugh!!! and living in fear of researching and citing cases.

    By Cemeeli

    August 22, 2008 2:30 PM | Link to this

    DasV…impressions, impressions!!!…chile please,not that again. If i gotta…let me, let that one alone.

    2C hey there. Random thought…cool. If one is not born a christian by default, then, is he a sinner by default; and somehow gotta get right?

    1) Born christian? Christianity is the teaching of Jesus Chirst.

    Okay so, he was born into this “world”, which is full of sin.

    I would say better, is to be a born again believer.

    By DuShawn

    August 22, 2008 2:36 PM | Link to this

    This topic is too heavy for a Friday afternoon.

    By Foots

    August 22, 2008 2:37 PM | Link to this

    2CPTG If one is not born a christian by default, then, is he a sinner by default; and somehow gotta get right? just askin..

    Don’t all religions believe the same thing, that if you are not a believer of their religion, that you don’t know the true way?

    By Cemeeli

    August 22, 2008 2:37 PM | Link to this

    No…he doesn’t have to get right…it is not he that has the “right” to fix hisself…

    makes sense?

    By Lady J

    August 22, 2008 2:43 PM | Link to this

    I agree du! hey cee-cee!

    By DasV

    August 22, 2008 2:45 PM | Link to this

    Dushawn heeheheee. whachu wanna talk about?? i got something: you know katt williams has eight chil’ren?? and have you seen or heard about ‘tropic thunder’ or something like that…. with iron man black-faced??

    TouCan wassup, bruh? you livin right??

    By Cemeeli

    August 22, 2008 2:48 PM | Link to this

    Hi Lady J…awww…so many reunions!!! {{{blog hug}}} How are the pupils?

    Hey Dushawn…your right about this being heavy for a blog…i’m a pensive at times.

    By Beautiful

    August 22, 2008 2:49 PM | Link to this

    will i be cheating myself if i looked for a man with the same religion as i? this is my issue. will i be happy with converting to his religion after we marry? to be honest, probably not! i’m apostolic.

    i will toss this on the back burner and deal with it when it’s staring me in my face. cause right now, i’m stuck.

    By 2CPTG

    August 22, 2008 2:52 PM | Link to this

    Foots….yep, some’n like that…

    Venus, I’m chillin’, and you? livin right? Depends on who you ask….

    By Jamoca

    August 22, 2008 2:52 PM | Link to this

    Dushawnmayne, you can post that one againnext time in BOLD. (lol)

    …and Happy Friday you all!…keyword is Friday.

    By Beautiful

    August 22, 2008 2:53 PM | Link to this

    cee i’m doing quite well. thanks for asking. getting a touch-up this w/e. can’t wait. it’s been since may. naps for days gurl!

    how are you?

    By Beautiful

    August 22, 2008 2:55 PM | Link to this

    i did too tazzee. i call them new reads. i always check back before i go to bed. MIA is staying open late and I LOVE IT!!!

    By i'm swiss

    August 22, 2008 3:05 PM | Link to this

    RE: Tropic Thunder

    Aw man… my fiance & I saw this last weekend & I’ve got to say, it might be the funniest thing I’ve seen in years. I don’t really understand the protests — if you see the movie, it’s actors & the entertainment business in general that gets ripped a new one.

    Hilarious cameos all over the place — and Tom Cruise has a small role (though you may not recognize him at first) that’s so funny I’m still about to wet my pants just thinking about it.

    Oh, and if you go see it, make sure to get there early to see the trailers (yep, they even have fake trailers for other fake movies the “cast” is in) — hilarious. Maybe even allow some time to grab a can of “Booty Sweat” and a “Protein Wad.” LOL

    By Foots

    August 22, 2008 3:06 PM | Link to this

    Since the topic is somber, anybody doing anything fun this weekend??

    I may finally go see The Dark Knight tonight. We’re the last two people on Earth to see it, I think.

    By Atl Lady

    August 22, 2008 3:10 PM | Link to this

    Cee I’m glad you tackled that one. You put it plainer than white bread.

    By Cemeeli

    August 22, 2008 3:18 PM | Link to this

    beautiful sweet, i am all in arms. I am well, and so is mine at home. A new hair do is always nice, huh?

    By Binford2K

    August 22, 2008 3:18 PM | Link to this

    Foots If you read the Bible and understood things like the New Testament covers Jesus’ childhood and his adult years, but not anything from approximately 12-30. Knowing the difference between the New Testament and Old Testament would be another. In other words, you’ve put the effort in to learn about the religion you believe. Most Christians have not read the whole Bible …but is it necessary?

    For example, my mother went to Catholic school and didn’t know simple things (even basic tenants) about her religion but yet got mad if I questioned things. If you can’t answer the questions - why get mad if I ask them?

    Very few people are Biblical Scholars, but many people believe. As long as they’ve thought about why the believe and can say they’ve researched it and they feel it’s the right choice - that’s fine. Not even the scholars can answer a lot of questions - only hypothesize.

    If someone could undoubtedly prove their religion was true and “right” (like proving Jesus did come back from the dead) - then there wouldn’t be the need for many religions. But that can’t happen because most are rooted in ancient times and because faith is a necessary component.

    My personal view is that the Bible does contain historical things combined with the supernatural (which I believe was interjected to the story by man - not a deity), they are intertwined and presented as a whole as real.

    Arguments ensue with religion when the fact and conjecture gets to where it becomes emotional and how people feel - because the “feel” is faith, and how can you make someone feel the same way? How can you make someone feel something that is “true” in your eyes? Like two people where one is in love, but the other has no attachment - how do they convince that other person?

    They don’t.

    Agree to disagree and appreciate divergent viewpoints if at all possible.

    By 'KP' (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

    August 22, 2008 3:19 PM | Link to this

    Thanks for your comment DasV.

    Hey Beautiful…hope all is well with you!

    Glad to see the bloggers remained somewhat on topic throughout the course of today.

    By Atl Lady

    August 22, 2008 3:20 PM | Link to this

    *Foots8 Naw. I haven’t seen it either. I was trying to wait until some of the hype went down. The weekends just haven’t been long enough lately. Today is Friday and you look up it’s Sunday night.

    By SlimOne

    August 22, 2008 3:27 PM | Link to this

    Foots I was just asking a friend of mine what time they wanted to go see it tomorrow. We might go the the early showing…5 dolla, 5 dolla! I also heard, Step-brothers was funny but i haven’t seen it yet though.

    By Dan

    August 22, 2008 3:37 PM | Link to this

    Might I suggest

    Pineapple express and

    Forgetting Sarah Marshall

    From the people that brought you Superbad, 40 Year Old virgin, and Knocked up

    Both are hilarious!

    By Cemeeli

    August 22, 2008 3:41 PM | Link to this

    Atl lady thanks lady. gurl, caint/won’t/don’t “Bend It Like Beckham” when belief has been questioned.

    How was your lunch?

    Foots, Dark Knight is cool. 3hrs long but good.

    By Foots

    August 22, 2008 3:41 PM | Link to this

    Binford All of that is well and good. But if someone told you exactly what you said earlier, that they have read the Bible at face value and believe it to be true, could you respect that, though they had no other formal arguments to advance their viewpoint? I can, but I hear you saying that you can’t. Is that right?

    ATL Lady The weekends just haven’t been long enough lately

    You ain’t neva lied!! I can’t believe how short they’ve been lately either. We must be doing too much…

    By Foots

    August 22, 2008 3:51 PM | Link to this

    Binford As long as they’ve thought about why the believe and can say they’ve researched it and they feel it’s the right choice - that’s fine.

    I think I have my answer, but correct me if I’m wrong. You respect someone who has researched a religion and use their research as a basis for what religion they choose to practice, but don’t respect those who don’t have research and facts, just faith and belief?

    By abc

    August 22, 2008 3:58 PM | Link to this

    Binford, it’s true that relatively few actually read the whole Bible. I suppose Christians can get by with only the New Testament. There are things they won’t quite get without the Old Testament’s background, but the Old Testament is a history of the Jews, not necessarily anything critical to Christians. Here’s the thing, though: you can’t live by The Word if you don’t know The Word.

    Sure, there are supernatural things in the Bible. If God isn’t supernatural, I don’t know what you could say He is. Sure, there are supernatural things all around us. All you have to do is look.

    The thing about Christian faith is that it’s not just about believing in the supernatural God. It’s about the resolve that everything proceeds according to God’s plan, with His ends in mind, faith that it’s in His hands and not ours. Everything will work out for the best in the end, no matter what we think about it. That’s faith.

    2CPTG, that segues into your question earlier, about being born into Christianity, or if one is born a sinner that has to “get right”. The answer to that will vary by denomination. Most Southern Baptists believe, in a Calvinist way, that the only thing that will bring a man to God is God himself, i.e., you can’t bring yourself to God. God won’t lead everyone to Him, only those He chooses. That’s a bit contradictory for them, as they seem to also remain convinced there’s something they can do to save themselves, through acts. For sure, they’re fond of pointing at others that they figure don’t perform sufficient acts to merit being saved. But that’s Christianity for you: what the churches teach and what the Bible says can vary pretty widely.

    Nonetheless, it works kind of like this: A person is born into the world and of the world, exposed to evil, left to their own defenses. One accepts the Truth, of the one God; one invites the Holy Spirit to live in them, through them, and as them — yeah, Jesus died to live His life through you, brother — and between your own mindfulness and with the Holy Spirit’s backing, evil is kept at bay. The evil, the sin, is external; it seeks to affect us, but with the Holy Spirit, we can hope to overcome it.

    This runs counter to the Adamaic perception a lot of Christians have, but to think as they do is to endorse Judaism. I’m not saying they’re all going to hell on account of that or anything; it’s just not a Christian precept that we continue to have a sinful nature. That’s what Jesus died for.

    Ever mindful. Stay in the Spirit. It’s a bit much to post in a dating blog, but hey, you asked, I figured what the heck.

    By Atl Lady

    August 22, 2008 4:01 PM | Link to this

    Cee It was too short and I didn’t have time to get into one of the books I need to read before the pages start turning yellow. I just finished a book called That Faith, That Love, That Trust and I’m trying to get to Omar Tyree’s book and Eric Jerome Dickey’s book. I really need an extra day.

    By For Real

    August 22, 2008 4:06 PM | Link to this

    Tropic Thunder was directed by the same people that made Istar. The Best Worst Movie of all times.

    For Real now slapping the hellz out of Atl Lady for mention Sunday on a Friday.

    Foots If you are a Batman fan you will love the movie. Oh and watch for the Joker’s magic trick.

    By Cemeeli

    August 22, 2008 4:08 PM | Link to this

    it’s true that relatively few actually read the whole Bible.

    If you read ONE chapter a day you’ll be finished in 4years. If you follow a 3 chapters per day plan, (two old testament, one new testament, in that order, you’ll be finished in 1 year). I personally like the latter way best. Some stuff i didn’t understand and would use a study guide.

    By 2CPTG

    August 22, 2008 4:13 PM | Link to this

    I respect that answer, abc……but you know me, gotta come back with a rebuttal…..If GOD chooses, then, we go back to my question from a few weeks ago, do you really have a choice, i.e. freewill…..it can’t be both.

    By Bre

    August 22, 2008 4:16 PM | Link to this

    I am planning a couples retreat to Blue Ridge Mountain and needed some great romantic ideas. There will be no swinging.

    By Atl Lady

    August 22, 2008 4:19 PM | Link to this

    Atl Lady thanking For Real and asking for another. She likes to be spanked sometimes.

    By Demi

    August 22, 2008 4:21 PM | Link to this

    If GOD chooses, then, we go back to my question from a few weeks ago, do you really have a choice, i.e. freewill…..it can’t be both.

    I have been looking for answers for this question for a long time.

    By abc

    August 22, 2008 4:23 PM | Link to this

    Free will comes into play with one’s belief or non-belief, whether one does as they know is right, per the Truth, once they recognize God at work; or whether they do the opposite.

    A chick preacher (chick preachers… different subject…) said in a sermon I attended that the dilemma about when to come to God rather than live it up sinfully, having all the fun, is that you don’t know when you’re going to die, so you might be too late. Get that: sinning is fun, and if you delay, you may be too late because you don’t know when your number is up. WTF with all that, I wonder. I don’t attend her sermons any more.

    By Demi

    August 22, 2008 4:24 PM | Link to this

    There will be no swinging.

    Demi is now sitting at this desk mean muggin Bre’s screen name

    By Binford2K

    August 22, 2008 4:33 PM | Link to this

    I wrote a damn good reply, then I hit one wrong button and it is all gone :(

    We’ll have to pick it up again - cause I’m not writing another thesis!

    By SlimOne

    August 22, 2008 4:34 PM | Link to this

    2CPTG Free will versus God chooses….maybe God just automatically have the starting point and ending point in stone, but allows us the free will to maneuver however we want anywhere in between those points.

    A<<<<………misc……>>B<<<

    ????

    By Demi

    August 22, 2008 4:35 PM | Link to this

    and

    Da Brat has sled some new light on..

    I hit that Bish wit a bottle I hit her full throttle Didn’t think I could do it Cause I look like a model

    You won’t never get a witness sayin what they saw I ain’t tryin to be no victim, you wanna cross that line I leave a bish leakin blood,

    Wooooooow!!

    By DasV

    August 22, 2008 4:42 PM | Link to this

    sorry for the break…they actually trynna make a sista work on friday afternoon

    2 alls well wit me, papi. missing some of you.

    my child can exercise the freewill that comes with him now being a teenager, but there are consequences for every choice he makes.

    and there is no negoitiation on the terms… some would call that a dictatorship, others godship

    By newlurker

    August 22, 2008 4:44 PM | Link to this

    **2CPTG Free will versus God chooses….maybe God just automatically have the starting point and ending point in stone, but allows us the free will to maneuver however we want anywhere in between those points.

    A<<<<………misc……>>B<<<

    ????**

    I know many who concur.

    By Atl Lady

    August 22, 2008 4:48 PM | Link to this

    CEE Gurl read this. Some people in this world is just sick.

    http://www.woai.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=b6868eed-f1fd-4b27-abec-da9b3f81ac96&rss=68

    By For Real

    August 22, 2008 4:49 PM | Link to this

    AAD is now slapping the hellz out of Atl Lady.

    By Cemeeli

    August 22, 2008 4:50 PM | Link to this

    If GOD chooses, then, we go back to my question from a few weeks ago, do you really have a choice, i.e. freewill…..it can’t be both.

    When speaking in terms if God choose/elected/ordained you to follow right?

    Many are called and few are chosen.

    Question is, are you willing? Your acceptance of the call is the only self choice. that’s free will

    By abc

    August 22, 2008 4:55 PM | Link to this

    The maneuvering between points A and B amounts to us trying to do for ourselves, thinking that all we need to do is try harder, be smarter, be good enough. It’s what’s referred to as fleshly, thinking we can do it ourselves. Fleshly living just gets worse and worse, harder and harder, and God allows it so that we can come to realize for ourselves that we can’t do it alone. That contrasts with living Spiritually.

    “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

    That says stop trying to bear your own burden, give it up to the Lord, and undertake simply to be in and of the Spirit — a light burden, especially by comparison.

    By flexistupid

    August 22, 2008 4:55 PM | Link to this

    Bre,u sure are going to miss out on me…there will be no swinging lol

    By Atl Lady

    August 22, 2008 4:57 PM | Link to this

    For Real You’re taking this turn the other cheek thing a lil bit too far! I was just playin’ wit ya!

    By 2CPTG

    August 22, 2008 4:57 PM | Link to this

    Slim……always remember to check “no” when posting under an assumed identity….

    By Demi

    August 22, 2008 4:57 PM | Link to this

    SlimOne that was one of the best straight answer I’ve heard in a long time.

    By Cemeeli

    August 22, 2008 5:01 PM | Link to this

    Atl Lady there are more crazi ppl like that you know this!

    a 5 year old and a 10 month old?!!?

    Lunatic mind of a person…

    By For Real

    August 22, 2008 5:03 PM | Link to this

    Cee Is the person doing the calling different from the person doing the chosing?

    We have FREE WILL people end of story. No other creature on this planet gets to choose?

    By SlimOne

    August 22, 2008 5:03 PM | Link to this

    2C always remember to check “no” when posting under an assumed identity You lost me there buddy.

    By 2CPTG

    August 22, 2008 5:08 PM | Link to this

    not a jab, Slim, looks like the new lurker hasn’t quite grasped the concept of this thing yet….kinda looks like it was you posting as that person….no harm, no foul….

    By Cemeeli

    August 22, 2008 5:11 PM | Link to this

    Cee Is the person doing the calling different from the person doing the chosing?

    ForReal he said; If GOD chooses. I said; Free will is willing to answer God’s choosing you.

    that’s all folks.

    Have a faboulous weekend.

    By Marie

    August 25, 2008 11:46 AM | Link to this

    I think I may know exactly what you mean by “default Christian” and the reason I know is because me, a Christian, has a boyfriend who is an atheist. And while I know this will cause many a person’s eyes to pop out of their sockets, it’s actually been really very pleasant. Contrary to what people may think we have yet to have an argument over religion. When it comes up, and it comes up often, we discuss our views and that’s that. There’s no trying to force one person to see things from the other’s perspective. In any event, this perhaps may make matters worse for some but he is an explicit atheist, which means he actually studies so that he can defend his position for his lack of belief in God. He helped me see that America is a “Christian” nation by default, which means, Christians in name only. People professing to be a Christian for social acceptance sake but who may not in fact be believers in lifestyle.

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