Misadventures in Atlanta

By SlimOne

August 28, 2008 8:22 AM | Link to this

Good Morning

After eight months of new romance bliss, things have hit a rough patch. Ryan said that he hasn’t seen any action in weeks. He doesn’t think he is in the doghouse, and he said that Emma didn’t seem like the type to withhold from him (whatever type that is?). Now he is trying to decide if it’s worth it to work through the issues and get back on track. After reading this, it sounds like he hasn’t even talked to her to find out what was going on. How do you go weeks w/o being intimate without having brought it up? So instead of discussing things, he’s looking for action elsewhere….something doesn’t sound right about that scenario.

If i’ve ever cut someone off, it was probably because I felt he was sleeping with someone else. To be honest I really can’t recall a time I vindictively cut the booty off. If no sex was happening, it was either due to being too tired, too stressed or because I didn’t think i was getting what I needed from that person…but people do things for different reasons. I do know folks go through different cycles. There were times where I initiated sex and was rejected by the guy and vice versa. In a long term relationship, both parties aren’t always going to want to do it at the exact same time as the other person. In a perfect world..yes but we all know that isn’t realistic.

By Raqi

August 28, 2008 8:30 AM | Link to this

My Potpourri of Thoughts:

First let’s repeat this: “When a lady decides to stop sharing her body with her man, she always has a reason.”

For those of us that choose to believe, other than what the bible states there is no other justifiable reason.

But anyhoo, I feel that I am justified to do so when I feel that I am being taken for granted. And even more so when I have been ignored or treated with disrespect…whether it’s his intention to do so or not.

Now in other news, sex as a tool of manipulation is just wrong, not to mention childish.

It is also childish to talk about or even consider outside affection after only a day or two. ‘Cause we all know we have read here where some menfolk stated they would be getting arse elsewhere if their woman/so/girlfriend ever told them no or don’t offer to give a bj if/when she is not feeling up to engaging in intercourse.

Rather than seek satisfaction outside of my marriage, I would rather end it all together. And it would have to be several months of no intimacy without a logical explanation to make me even consider such. And on top of that there would obviously be a much greater underlying matter that needs to be dealt with.

By Sunshine

August 28, 2008 8:33 AM | Link to this

His situation does not make sense to me. No action in weeks with no explaination? Have they not discussed the problem at all? I am a little old fashioned and to me Love and Sex go together and you cannot have one without the other. Perhaps she does not love him anymore - or thought she did and discovered she didn’t. And if he is considering finding somebody else then he does not love her very much either. And let this be an alert to “ex” boyfriends and girlfriends - he is calling exes to get some action, is this a common mind set?

By SlimOne

August 28, 2008 8:41 AM | Link to this

Raqi I agree with not being intimate if you feel you’ve been disrespected. Sex involves sharing yourself in the most intimate way with another person. So why share that space with someone who does not respect you…..

sex as a tool of manipulation is just wrong, not to mention childish…this ties into the “Doing it like a Professional” blog we had earlier this week…

Sunshine I agree, this situation does not make sense. It’s terrible that most folk can jump your bones without a second thought but when it comes to communication they got nothing…It’s like putting a person who can’t talk or see in a room with a person who can’t hear….crickets

By T

August 28, 2008 8:43 AM | Link to this

Never. Don’t be selfish.

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 28, 2008 8:45 AM | Link to this

Good morning Food People, I see it like this, we are dating, I don’t have to give you my body if I don’t want to. Until we’re married my body is MY BODY, before I got on the wagon of celibacy I can’t say I’ve ever been cut off or cut off bedroom actions for whatever reason, if we were mad with each other it just make the bedroom scene a little creative.

By Krush

August 28, 2008 8:51 AM | Link to this

I don’t think I’ve ever been in a situation where a woman has cut me off. When the sex stops that is usually a sign that the end of that relationship is near. Like someone said, its just wrong to use sex to manipulate. Too much resentment will be built up from that.

Dude is dead wrong for jumping straight to going back to an ex or anybody outside of the relationship. If they can’t work it out, they shouldn’t be together anyway.

By Krush

August 28, 2008 8:53 AM | Link to this

I don’t think I’ve ever been in a situation where a woman has cut me off. When the sex stops that is usually a sign that the end of that relationship is near. Like someone said, its just wrong to use sex to manipulate. Too much resentment will be built up from that.

Dude is dead wrong for jumping straight to going back to an ex or anybody outside of the relationship. If they can’t work it out, they shouldn’t be together anyway.

By Krush

August 28, 2008 8:54 AM | Link to this

I don’t think I’ve ever been in a situation where a woman has cut me off. When the sex stops that is usually a sign that the end of that relationship is near. Like someone said, its just wrong to use sex to manipulate. Too much resentment will be built up from that.

Dude is dead wrong for jumping straight to going back to an ex or anybody outside of the relationship. If they can’t work it out, they shouldn’t be together anyway.

By MELO

August 28, 2008 9:05 AM | Link to this

he is calling exes to get some action, is this a common mind set?…..YES

if we were mad with each other it just make the bedroom scene a little creative.…dnt knw about that mamal,if iam mad with her about smething,my mind has such a hold on my Long partner,he will shrivel and cower unless gets a solid command from the brainy HQ to get upright and get ready for patrol duties…

On topic, i think,from my experience,ladies will want to withhold a lil if they see that all the guy is doing is hitting it but nothing more substative is being said about the relationship.I used to be like that,my girlz(sme of them) were more advanced in their aspirations than i was at sme point.So they liked me and allowed me to hit but at sme point,they wld feel like that is all thats happening.So they wld pull back and want to listen more than just meeting and heading str8 to the lil slaughterhouse.

By ATL Guy

August 28, 2008 9:14 AM | Link to this

Comes down to Communication. If they talked it out, he wouldn’t be looking for stray and might actually be hooked up again.

Annoys the hell out of me when women will do the silent treatment. Example: You’re like “whats wrong” they say “nothing” you’re like, “for real, whats up” they say “nevermind”. Basically find out weeks later from mutual friends what is going on!

There is a lot to be said for being straight up and honest with someone. If he’s looking to hook up with ex’s…might want to cut off this chick first. These situations never tend to end up well regardless

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 28, 2008 9:21 AM | Link to this

Long partner,he will shrivel and cower melo every man is different….

By AmazonRed

August 28, 2008 9:27 AM | Link to this

Morning everyone. *cough *. Getting over a cold.

During our first go at it, I eventually cut Beau off. We had been dating for a year, the relationship was not progressing and my judgement was clouded because we were being intimate. So after one family gathering where his mother introduced me as his “friend” (accurate, but it still stung) we had a heart to heart and I told him my feelings were too involved and his weren’t involved enough.

Needless to say, this decision didn’t bring us closer, and therefore we had to part ways!

By 2CPTG

August 28, 2008 9:34 AM | Link to this

If I’m in a situation, and the sex stops, so does the situation…..too easy!

By Duluth

August 28, 2008 9:35 AM | Link to this

I get my man back in line by cutting him off!!!. Nothing gets a mans attention better than good luving, but if you mess up, you aint getting any of this.!!!!

Sex is a great way to get what you want out of your mate……

The guy in your article is nothing more than a big baby. He wont talk to girlfriend about the lack o’nookey, but he’ll go find it with someone else. Only cowards run. He should man up and talk to girlfriend.

By Raqi

August 28, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this

LOL MLL I know.

I think I have denied the man because he was upset with me more times than him denying me or initiating because he was upset with me.

By MELO

August 28, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this

We had been dating for a year, see,smetimes,guys just get away with murder….u were referring to him as beau and he is calling u smething else to his closest associates.Being a girl with mariage intentions is a real hard thing,i see that now… (i wld like to make a public blog apology to u all women for the pain,hurt and suffering i caused the ladies i dated but never took seriously,they gave it to me,in trust,i hit it but never gave them anything substantive in return.. i wish uall cld hear me but i will be with u in spirit always!!!! Plz forgive me for all the transgressions and slaying i did)

By Raqi

August 28, 2008 9:44 AM | Link to this

LOL 2CPTG. “Situations” are different than invested relationships.

If I was in a situation chances are the situation is based solely on the sex. And yeah you can’t have a situation when you take away the fuel that feeds it.

However in an invested ‘lationship, a lot of other things factor into making it stick. But don’t misunderstand me, sex is a vital part of my relationship and should it cease to exist, like I stated earlier there would probably be a bigger problem lingering somewhere else.

But uh, yeah. I agree. LOL

By AmazonRed

August 28, 2008 9:45 AM | Link to this

melo - I refer to him as Beau now, and only on the blog. Besides, beau is just a definition for suitor.

But nice reaching there. LOL

By Dan

August 28, 2008 9:45 AM | Link to this

Well,

For me, if you cut me off, without telling me why or talking out the problem as adults should then you’ve given me carte blanche to get mine in…

I know 2 wrongs and all that…but after the age of 21, if you haven’t learned to communicate with your partner about your needs (emotionally, physically, mentally), then your arrested development will lead to situations where someone else’s development will prosper.

By 2CPTG

August 28, 2008 9:46 AM | Link to this

Duluth, your comment was proof that alotta ladies think that way…..kinda shyt is that? If I mess up, no sex? ok, if yo azz mess up I ain’t paying the mortgage! I know, cuttin off your nose to spite your face kinda thing…..same thing…if you gon’ willfully neglect your duties, then so am I…..

By SlimOne

August 28, 2008 9:49 AM | Link to this

melo Plz forgive me for all the transgressions and slaying i did That’s the 3rd time i’ve heard the word ‘slaying’ as a descriptive for sex. I think that word is funny actually because I picture the chick laying there faking while thinking about what she’s going to wear to the party this weekend, what dish she will bring, and what time should she leave the house….all while buddy is ‘SLAYIN’ the puddy.

By Raqi

August 28, 2008 9:53 AM | Link to this

Although I realize it is just dangling bait…I will respond. I am not too busy anyway…

But uh, any man that will be ruled and manipulated by the v-spot is not much of a man at all. I wouldn’t have a man that is that weak and easily controlled.

By Raqi

August 28, 2008 9:56 AM | Link to this

“…if yo azz mess up I ain’t paying the mortgage!”

happy sigh

By Bre'

August 28, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

I don’t know WD, communication is key. I am only going to assume that Shannon is pretty young. Because a grown woman would not withdraw the goodies for no reason or at least finally saying something about it after a week or so. Only they know and maybe a video camera what is really going on behind closed doors. Would Ryan really tell you if he was slacking in that area? Maybe he stopped doing things he used to do and she was not pleased with that. There’s a lot of what ifs in the situation.

Is he wrong for going somewhere else, not at all. Humans have needs. Plus if he is accustomed to getting the goodies and all of a sudden cut off with out any reason to why. Why would he be in the wrong?…from my view she is getting it from somewhere else or she got something and trying to wait for it to clear up.

By Foots

August 28, 2008 10:09 AM | Link to this

I was talking to my friend Ryan about his relationship with his girlfriend, Shannon. After eight months of new romance bliss, things have hit a rough patch. Ryan said that he hasn’t seen any action in weeks. He doesn’t think he is in the doghouse, and he said that Emma didn’t seem like the type to withhold from him (whatever type that is?).

I see the problem already, he probably called her the wrong name, just like you did Wise. So, is it Shannon or Emma?? LOL!!

By 2CPTG

August 28, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

Raqi, I’m just sayin….if you’re in a vested relationship, i.e. engaged, married, or whatever, how you gon fix yo mouth to say, you cut off? Then, ol girl tombout only cowards run…..shyttin me! What, I’m ‘sposed to sit there with blue ballz cause you got yo azz on yo shoulders, I think not!

By Foots

August 28, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this

Ladies, have you ever dated someone and decide to “cut them off”? What were your reasons?

Yes, I have. The relationship was basically over for me and I was making my decisions about leaving. Backing away from intimacy helps to detach and provides a signal to the man that something is up (or that you’re about to be breaking up). When I made my decision, I left.

How did you handle it with your mate/SO?

I didn’t tell him that the fact that I wasn’t sleeping with him was due to the fact that we were about to break up, no. It never got to the point where he asked me what the problem was either, it was weeks, not months. Things just ran their natural course.

Would it bother you if you knew that your man would dump you if the bedroom action was cut off?

Of course it would. We all like to believe that our mate is with us for more than sex. If I was in a relationship where the sex was decreasing, we’d have to talk about it to try to figure out why and what we could do about it. But for him (or me) to cut and run or try to find somebody else is poor communication and nonexistent impulse control.

By MELO

August 28, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

slim for me slaying seems to imply cutting pudsy open..which seems appropriate considering that if long-nose aint near there,its tightly closed & air tight.But its also a conquering verb….dnt u think,it takes diplomacy,cajoling and tact to get a decent dime girl to peel off all that clothing and have her upside down…….and the feeling of satisfaction & achievemnt when im done(thats when smokers light a cigrette)..me…..i’ll go holla at mr robinson,my neighbor,then sit on the poach with my wallstreet jrnl in hand,letting u clean-up, back inside, unintruded …….

By arkansas1

August 28, 2008 10:18 AM | Link to this

Hello everybody!

This is a weak,weak, very weak brother!

First sign of trouble I need to run away from responsibility! A pattern that is becoming all to familiar in society!

Sexual intimacy with a woman is one of the greatest gifts and pleasures a man can experience in his lifetime!

Men even if we know the women desire and love intimacy as much as we do, let’s not abuse sexual giving from the woman, let’s truly respect and cherish all the loving a woman gives!

By Foots

August 28, 2008 10:19 AM | Link to this

2CPTG Is there a difference in what you would do if your woman couldn’t have sex as opposed to wouldn’t have sex?

If she had your baby or had hormonal issues, are men more likely to understand?

If she wasn’t feeling you because your behavior towards her had changed, would you try to adjust the offending behavior or would you just cheat?

By Chelle

August 28, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this

Morning, yes i’ve cut several of my Male friends off for different reasons.

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

August 28, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this

Morning All! Hope everyone is doing well

I have never cutoff but I have cutback on the goody-giving and that was when my marriage started to sour. I didnt realize it initially b/c I was so miserable and concentrating on what to do to resolve the issues. By the time ex told me I could’ve care less about gettin some, hell at that point I didnt even want to go home. I dont ever condone a cutoff without a reason and hell I’m losing out too so unless you have done something drastc (STD, cheated, etc) then Im still getting some. I’ll just go back to not speaking to you when Im done! :0)

By Trizzle

August 28, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

I’ve cut sex out of two relationships, but it was to end them. One was emotionally abusive to me (who wants to have sex with someone like that?) and the other he was cheating on me, in front of my face. Heck no, you can get it from her, get your crap out of my house and don’t call me again!! Other then that, the only reason I wont have sex (and I absolutely love it all the time) is because I’m tired, stressed, or just really not in the mood. Feel me girls?

By Raqi

August 28, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this

2CPTG And you are saying correctly.

I wouldn’t have a purrrry whipped pancy.

By SlimOne

August 28, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this

What if your CUTbuddy or FWB, started to lax on the puddy/dizzick, how would you handle that? lol

By Chelle

August 28, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this

Duluth if you’re still playing the game by cutting yo Man off with “no sex” that’s crazy. I’m he’s getting it from somewhere, and if he’s falling for that his a$$ stupid. I agree with your 9:46 comment to Duluth 2cptg

Let him ring my door bell he’s getting in and getting SERVED

By Raqi

August 28, 2008 10:29 AM | Link to this

“Pansy” that is.

By sp

August 28, 2008 10:30 AM | Link to this

My wife threatens to “cut me off” every time we get into an argument. I always tell her, “You can’t cut me off - you don’t know where I’m getting it”

By Cemeeli

August 28, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this

Hey in here!

What ya’ll doin’? sittin’ at the table playing spades?….

WilleD/PoppaG ah, maybe commenting would help bring clearity on this one.

maybe we can keep 2C from bustin’ somebody…or err’body head to the white meat for even thinkin’ about punishing their folks from bedroom basting.

sigh Some thangs melo should not get to comment on!

By Brooklyn

August 28, 2008 10:32 AM | Link to this

Hey, WD!

Ladies, have you ever dated someone and decide to “cut them off”? What were your reasons?

I have never felt the need to “cut” a man off. I think doing that will affect me more,if you know what I mean…lol. I think thats somewhat manipulative also.If I’m having issues with a man or if he did something to p** me off I will rather discuss it first then just withold as revenge. To me, thats petty because I would hate it if he did the same to me. Sex is meant to be shared and enjoyed between adults not to be used or taken away when he’s been “bad”.

By SexyCool

August 28, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this

yeah…as others have stated…the cut off came at relationship end…any other time…there is no use cutting off the physical intimacy cause it punishes me too…

there are far too many other ways that i can punish myself…no need to add another to the list…

By Atl Lady

August 28, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

The only times I cutoff was for physical reasons (issues in the female dept) and to end the relationship. There’s no chance of negotiating or even talking when the disrepect comes into play. If he disrespects you once, he’s probably going to do it again. Who’s to say that she’s really cut him off for no reason that he’s aware of? He might very well know the reason, but is looking for her to come around and she’s still thinking. I think she’s taking a step back from him just to see if what she suspects actually happens. He might have a history of cheating or one of his exes called her and said blah blah blah.

By Raqi

August 28, 2008 10:40 AM | Link to this

So melo every time you sex your wife instead of it being an act of love, intimacy and mutual respect, it is a form of conquering, defeat and domination for you.

Why do you feel the need to conquer your wife’s lady part? Do you feel intimidated or controlled by it? It only has as much power as you give it.

By The Truth

August 28, 2008 10:42 AM | Link to this

Morning folk.

That chick must perform or it’s over. In the course of a lifetime, and especially in a relationship, we’ll all have feelings hurt, bad days, be emotionally injured and every other feeling in the emotional spectrum. That’s no reason to stop doing your job. Like 2C said about the mortgage, things must get done. If she won’t do it she needs to find a replacement or just exit stage left. Either is cool.

Ark Men even if we know the women desire and love intimacy as much as we do, let’s not abuse sexual giving from the woman, let’s truly respect and cherish all the loving a woman gives! I think you’re referring to times long ago when women chersihed themselves. Most of these women have thrown themselves under the bus. The real is their fugging anyway, but will they fugg you? LOL She can choose not to have sex with me and I can choose to not call her again. These are rough times my friend. LMAO Remember, the sex is just the symptom masking the real problem. It’s a barometer of how she really feels about you. If for any reason she doesn’t RESPECT you enough to let you get that poison out of your system then the gig is up anyway. Scroll up and observe the women stating that they hold back right before they bounce. ALWAYS READ THE WARNING LABELS. THE MESSAGE IS CLEAR IF YOU JUST READ IT.

By 2CPTG

August 28, 2008 10:43 AM | Link to this

Foots….can’t, and won’t, are two varying extremes….if you can’t, that’s different…if you won’t…..then, bye!

By MELO

August 28, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this

So melo every time you sex your wife instead of it being an act of love, intimacy and mutual respect, it is a form of conquering….. NO!!,if u read back,i used the wrd in historical perspective, when referring to my past.. and with my girlz,not wife…….no ref to present in there and then i again,it waz in the apology…see……

By Cemeeli

August 28, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this

Hie Atl Lady and Mo my ex… i ain’t cut him off…i beat him counting down the 6weeks after labor…

Atl Lady you think PoppaG is gonna correct hisself ‘bout telling us contest win, and didn’t bring us some cake to the blog? He already owe us for saying he won $100.

By SlimOne

August 28, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this

2CPTG & other blog men So I’m curious, what’s your input on men seeming to be more likey to cheat while their SO is pregnant? I’ve heard way too many times about dudes cheating during their SO pregnancy…is it that there is some sort of mental block that affects the way he looks at her since she’s with child, or it is simply the added weight & body shape? Just curious what you all think about that. To me, being a woman I’m sure…just seems so wrong to cheat at a time like that. yes it’s wrong any day but…you get my pernt

By 2CPTG

August 28, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this

‘nutha thang…..“Sex is a great way to get what you want out of your mate……”

wonder why ol girl didn’t comment yesterday when the topic asked if you used sex for personal gain….surely she didn’t just stumble on the topic today….see how easy it is to read folks….without even tryin! I bet that dude prolly got yo azz on a pedestal too; I swear I cain’t stand a punk azz dude! y’all niqqas make me sick!

By Foots

August 28, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this

2CPTG can’t, and won’t, are two varying extremes….if

Yes, but the thing they have in common is: No sex is being had. So if a man can hold out for 6 weeks because his woman’s body needs time to heal after giving birth, but can’t hold out for 6 weeks because his woman is going through something and would rather not engage, apparently the issue isn’t his “need” for sex. The need for sex would be there whether she couldn’t or wouldn’t, but his behavior towards her would be different depending on her reasons for not having sex.

The issue goes much deeper than just the physical reasons for him, possibly to the issues of respect like Truth alluded to. Or his being upset over her neglecting his intimacy needs, as Ark mentioned. His decision to cheat isn’t always driven by just physical need (the physical release can be done manually), there are emotional reasons behind how he decides to handle getting no sex too.

By Chelle

August 28, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this

You always have to keep a STANDBY DIZZNIK on call at all times

By 2CPTG

August 28, 2008 10:59 AM | Link to this

Slim….pregnant coochie is the shyt!!! so, a dude that says he won’t touch his girl while pregnant, doesn’t realize what he’s missing….now when she’s about to pop, then you gotta come up with alternative methods……JT Money said it best when he was with Poison Clan……“smokin’ head make a niqqa do back flips!!!!”

By Cemeeli

August 28, 2008 11:01 AM | Link to this

if yo azz mess up I ain’t paying the mortgage!

What, I’m ‘sposed to sit there with blue ballz cause you got yo azz on yo shoulders, I think not!

I swear I cain’t stand a punk azz dude! y’all niqqas make me sick!

2CPTG kill it! Lol…kill it! Dang.

Have the insurgents took your cereal too?!!?!?

By MELO

August 28, 2008 11:02 AM | Link to this

likey to cheat while their SO is pregnant? No slim,those are bad husbands…if the front is too phat,hit her from the back!!!.prego is when sme women like it most..lol

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 28, 2008 11:04 AM | Link to this

melo you are disgusting….does your wife know you refer to her in a derogetory manner? slaughtering the puddy, smh

By Susan

August 28, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this

One of the most importants things in ANY relationship is COMMUNICATION, and it sounds like it is lacking in this relationship. He needs to “corner” her, sit her down, and make her talk to him. Maybe she is tired of the relationship as it is and wants more (marriage? children?) and the only way to find out is to TALK, TALK, TALK! If she continues to shut him out, then he needs to tell her that he is not happy, and is moving on to greener pastures. She will either talk, or let him go. If it’s the latter, then maybe it was for the best.

By MELO

August 28, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this

MLL,I thoght i answered that,ref my 10.50.

By 2CPTG

August 28, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this

Cee…..those are all symptoms of a weak azz dude! A dude could have fvcked up royally, but his gal, the ride or die one, knows, that just because he went and spent more than he should have, or came in a few minutes too late, ain’t reason enough to withold what’s gon affect both of them…..only a weak dude gon let that shyt slide….a real niqqa gon get some straightening!

By Atl Lady

August 28, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this

Cee Poppa ain’t going to correct himself cause he knows he got caught. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve heard of husbands taking their wives top of the line dishes to work for contests, but it’s the cooking it at one in the morning. But I can’t lie. A pineapple upside down cake still warm will make you do a back flip. (I cook those too) :-)

By Susan

August 28, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this

One of the most importants things in ANY relationship is COMMUNICATION, and it sounds like it is lacking in this relationship. He needs to “corner” her, sit her down, and make her talk to him. Maybe she is tired of the relationship as it is and wants more (marriage? children?) and the only way to find out is to TALK, TALK, TALK! If she continues to shut him out, then he needs to tell her that he is not happy, and is moving on to greener pastures. She will either talk, or let him go. If it’s the latter, then maybe it was for the best. (BTW, even after marriage, your body is STILL YOUR body. He/she doesn’t have “rights” to it because of a license.)

By Susan

August 28, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this

One of the most importants things in ANY relationship is COMMUNICATION, and it sounds like it is lacking in this relationship. He needs to “corner” her, sit her down, and make her talk to him. Maybe she is tired of the relationship as it is and wants more (marriage? children?) and the only way to find out is to TALK, TALK, TALK! If she continues to shut him out, then he needs to tell her that he is not happy, and is moving on to greener pastures. She will either talk, or let him go. If it’s the latter, then maybe it was for the best. (BTW, even after marriage, your body is STILL YOUR body. He/she doesn’t have “rights” to it because of a license.)

By Raqi

August 28, 2008 11:15 AM | Link to this

Foots there is still a big difference in the two. While you cannot speed the healing the process of newly birthing canal, you can find ways to work thru issues that may only be mental or emotional.

Speaking because it has not yet happened to me, I can’t really think of anything that can have me out of commission for six whole weeks, other than a physical issue. Yeah I get upset sometimes and I have issue where I am preoccupied, but I can and have worked thru those. I have had sex while having a sprained ankle. And then if there is a direct “do not enter” matter with the v-spot that last longer than long we can work something out. However if the matter is permanent I would have to decide at that time if I can deal with giving him an out. Because I believe adultery is wrong in all aspects I would grant him a divorce and remain his friend. We could even be roomies. LOL

Now how I would react if actually presented with a situation as such, I don’t know. This is just how I feel now.

By The Truth

August 28, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this

MLL slaughtering the puddy That was the one I liked. LOL

Really this is about drives and what you can get a mate to produce. A chick could be exhausted but if her baby cries she’s going to make sure it’s taken care of. I’m saying this to point out there is a higher drive than just being tired. The question is can you tap into it? Can you get that chick to feel that it’s an honor to take care of what’s hers? In order to do that a guys gotta put in some work and be able to get things done on a number of fronts. If a dude regurlary falls for that I’m tired thing he gets what he gets.

Last gf was on the job 24/7. I could touch her stomach at 3am and her legs popped open. I used to think she was a robot but thats just the way she was wired. Take care of it. If she wouldn’t have wanted to get married we’d still be together. (Ok, I need a few moments to reflect LOL)

By Cemeeli

August 28, 2008 11:19 AM | Link to this

2C if you make menchion (mention) one mo’ time ‘bout the ‘ride or die’, please ok. Didn’t Kara tell you ‘bout that?

You have some valid points tho’.

Atl Lady Lol…girl, he gon’ say 1in the morning like that’s the norm. I’m just sayin’…do you and bring us some cake. stop doing back bends for ol’ boy just cause he made you a sto’ bout cake :) he needs to bring you sumthin homemade

ok, kill switch is back up and running…

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 28, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this

WOW 2CPTG tell us how you really feel!

By 2CPTG

August 28, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this

“BTW, even after marriage, your body is STILL YOUR body. He/she doesn’t have “rights” to it because of a license.)”……

they must not have taken their vows on a Bible then, cause King James says differently!

By Susan

August 28, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

@The Truth…if she was so wonderful, why would you NOT want to marry her? You deserved to lose her, and remember…another man is enjoying what you USED to have. We women are “wired” differently than you men, and we need love before we can “spread them” for you. Try a little romance. Try making your woman feel special. You’ll be surprised what you get in return!

By Cemeeli

August 28, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

Atl lady that’s a store bought cake. im country

By Atl Lady

August 28, 2008 11:25 AM | Link to this

Truth So let me get this straight. She was on her job, you were on your job. She asked to go permanent from her Temp job and you showed her the door??? Dang bruh!!! Yet you would’ve been ready to fire her anyway if she was still putting in applications elsewhere.

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 28, 2008 11:25 AM | Link to this

See that’s what I’m talking bout, yall what the benefits of a husband but when it’s time to be a husband ya bounce. Why buy the cow if you’re already getting the milk Truth

By Leggs

August 28, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this

Hello everyone. First, is his girlfriend’s name Shannon or is it Emma??? Did I read something wrong here: …was talking to my friend Ryan about his relationship with his girlfriend, Shannon….He doesn’t think he is in the doghouse, and he said that Emma didn’t seem like the type to withhold from him….”

The only person I cut off was my ex when “I” decided I had lost all respect for him. Other than that, I was married too long to remember who I cut off way back when and why!

By 2CPTG

August 28, 2008 11:29 AM | Link to this

MLL, I’m good; just pysses me off to hear men relinquish their roles in society; Yeah, we’re supposed to respect and cherish EACH OTHER…not just me doing all the giving and sacrificing….while you ration out the goods….hell naw!

By Raqi

August 28, 2008 11:29 AM | Link to this

“…guys gotta put in some work”

Truth is that the same as a guy realizing and being okay with having to lay on some heavy persuasion every now and then.

It’s not all the time that we don’t want to, but sometimes we just need a little help being brought into the game and away from whatever it is that has us preoccupied.

By SlimOne

August 28, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this

2C pregnant coochie is the shyt!!! I’ve actually heard that but I wonder what’s so different about it. Maybe it’s mental cuz it seems like something you shouldn’t be doing…a small element of danger.

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 28, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this

BTW, even after marriage, your body is STILL YOUR body. He/she doesn’t have “rights” to it because of a license.)” I don’t feel like going back to see who posted this, certianly you’ve never been married before…but yes he/she have rights to your body…hence taking a vow forsaking ALL others…….

By AmazonRed

August 28, 2008 11:32 AM | Link to this

I used to think she was a robot but thats just the way she was wired. Take care of it. If she wouldn’t have wanted to get married we’d still be together. (Ok, I need a few moments to reflect LOL)

I have to admit this is has happened to me!

By NY2GA, Inc.

August 28, 2008 11:33 AM | Link to this

Ladies, have you ever dated someone and decide to “cut them off”? Yes, I did once. What were your reasons? There was only one reason-chronic bytchassness. I stopped sexing and cooking. I stopped stocking his favorite drinks in my refrigerator,too. I stopped spending time. Mission accomplished. Bye!

By Susan

August 28, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this

2CPTG:OK…your mate has the “right” to YOUR body whenever he/she wants it (yeah, right!)…but you also have the RIGHT to say NO! You are a caveman! I could tell that from your first post. You are selfish, and that is probably why you are alone and posting to blogs about sex instead of doing it. Sorry, have to run now. My MAN deserves my attention!!!

By Chelle

August 28, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this

Hey Cee-me-me

By Tazzee

August 28, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this

Morning Folks!

The question is can you tap into it? Can you get that chick to feel that it’s an honor to take care of what’s hers? Truth I love this comment.

I was having a conversation with a guy the other day and he was talking about this very thing - that if he wants it, his wife should give it. I explained to him that, while I believe that to be true, men need to realize that it’s not just a physical act for us and if something with the relationship has our minds all jacked up - the body won’t respond. But I truly believe that if the man has tapped into ‘it’ - whatever his wife’s ‘it’ may be - the cut-off times will be few and far between.

By Foots

August 28, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

Truth A chick could be exhausted but if her baby cries she’s going to make sure it’s taken care of.

A woman will do that because a baby cannot take care of itself. The baby depends on its parents for its every need. So you’re comparing meeting the physical needs of a helpless baby to meeting the sexual needs of a grown azz man?

By Susan

August 28, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

@MLL:Yes, I HAVE been married…happily…for 33 years…and my husband has RESPECT for me and my feelings. I don’t just say “NO” for the heck of it. I always explain why I’m not in the mood, and being the MAN that he is, he understands and accepts it. So what YOU people are saying is that your mate has a right to your body whenever and wherever he/she wants it, right? That’s what it sounds like to me. I’m saying that “cleave only unto thee” means no cheating…not that you have the right whenever/wherever you want me. Maybe that’s why you people are still single and alone…and will probably remain that way as long as you maintain your attitudes of “you are my property”. A marriage license is NOT a BILL OF SALE!

By Dan

August 28, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

Personally,

If you’re going through something that makes you want to shy away from intimacy with me, then that’s a discussion that we need to have.

Funny how women always wanna “talk” and then don’t want to when puddy is on the line…

I’ve tried to speed read through the posts, so far here’s my comments:

@Truth

Right on, if she ain’t on her job, a replacement can be found in this economy.

@Slim

If my cut buddy get to holding out, why is she there? Why are you in my life, for no other reason than to do your job?

@Melo

We agree, pregnancy sex is wonderful! The sex is great, the puddy is so special at that time, and there’s something refreshing in knowing that it’s not mine!

Like Shawn J said “it’s a girl ‘that’s fine’ maybe I can puddy and brain at the same! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

By Cemeeli

August 28, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

Maybe it’s mental cuz it seems like something you shouldn’t be doing…a small element of danger.

Slim this is one time my obgyn doctor was all in my biz. Cause when he said to me: You are having intercourse? I looked up from the table and say…come on Doc, dude cain’t stay away from me!?

Doc say: Intercourse is no harm to the baby, I say: Right, and glad ‘cause, if so baby moved over.

Health Class 408.

By 2CPTG

August 28, 2008 11:46 AM | Link to this

Susan, you know absolutely nothing about me…..me, caveman? au contraire! Alone? Not hardly! Selfish? I bet I give away more than you receive! And as far as only posting about sex, as opposed to gettng it…..you want references?

And you don’t want me to tell you what I’ve deciphered about you, based on your posts! tombout your man deserves your attention….lyin azz….why ain’t his punk azz at work?

By SlimOne

August 28, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this

Another thing, we women don’t automatically get ‘ready’ just because you pulled one of our legs open. Quickies are cool but sometimes it’s going to take a little reving the engine up before you just get in it and drive away. Have a lil finesse will ya!

By Cemeeli

August 28, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this

Chelle Hey luv! and Hi Tazzee.

By MELO

August 28, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this

I have to admit this is has happened to me! im a lil curious to knw what u and Truth talking ‘bout,ared, do u mind bearing ur soul bout that to me,just a lil…..???

By The Truth

August 28, 2008 11:50 AM | Link to this

Ladies, I have nothing wrong with the woman. It’s just marriage has no value to me. I don’t need a legal system held over my head to do my job. And Susan, I let her go because I knew how bad she wanted to get married and it just wasn’t going to happen with me. As far as the next cat, most won’t be able to get her to produce the way I did, although he’ll be quite happy with whatever he gets.

I learned a long time ago that I don’t own a puddytat, I’m just trying to negotiate the best terms for me to share yours. Most cats overpay when they agree to sponsor someting longterm that you’ve been giving away for free shortterm. The numbers just don’t work out.

Atl Lady I don’t get caught up on if a chick is applying elsewhere. I stay focused on what I need from the thing. STAY FOCUSED. My only concern is that I get what I need because without that there is nothing else. It’s her job to make sure she gets what she needs. If we get what we both need it’s called bliss, if not it’s called an old relationship. LOL

Susan you’re speaking as if it hurts me that a woman would sleep with another cat after we’ve been together. Since she wasn’t a virgin she had done it before and since past behaviour is a great indicator of future performance then I always assume she’ll do it again. It would be false ego to think otherwise. LOL

Raqi puttin in work is first and foremost doing the things outside the bedroom to ease her mind. However, at some point if your walking around showing me azz and saying no I’m strong arming the booty. You can call the popo tomorrow but tonight I’m getting it done. What’s amazing is the number of women that love for you to take that azz. My ex wife still talks about that stuff. Just tapping into a higher drive. LOL

By Foots

August 28, 2008 11:51 AM | Link to this

Tazzee men need to realize that it’s not just a physical act for us and if something with the relationship has our minds all jacked up - the body won’t respond.

Men have to know that, just from women telling them that over and over again. So then, it moves from being understanding that that’s how things are sometimes, to being selfish and demanding “I want what I want, you be damned”.

When a man loves his woman, does he get much satisfaction from the act if he knows that she doesn’t want him at the time? Could he selfishly continue trying to get his while looking at his love with tears in her eyes because she didn’t want to or because it’s painful for her? I hope I never meet a man that would.

By cutielocs

August 28, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this

When a lady decides to stop sharing her body with her man, she always has a reason My only reason for ever cutting someone off is I am not feeling him anymore and not quite sure how to say it. But on the flip side, this guy doesn’t want to take the time to find out what’s going on so obviously there wasn’t as much bliss as one would believe.

By Tazzee

August 28, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this

Hey Cemeeli

By AmazonRed

August 28, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this

im a lil curious to knw what u and Truth talking ‘bout,ared, do u mind bearing ur soul bout that to me,just a lil…..???

LOL. melo - You seem to be more and more concerned about my posts lately.

Anywhoo, not much to say about. You can be on your “job” and still encounter a guy who doesn’t want to get married or is afraid of commitment. So you move on. That’s life.

By Susan

August 28, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this

2C:His “punk azz* isn’t at work because we have worked all our lives, and are now RETIRED! Probably a lot more than you have done…and after 33 years of marriage, it’s still a honeymoon. Probably a lot more than you will be able to claim at MY age! It’s all about RESPECT…and I can see you have NONE for ANYONE! (And no, I don’t know you, but you can learn a LOT about someone by LISTENING! And after “listening” to your diatribes, I can see right through your empty chatter.)

By Raqi

August 28, 2008 11:57 AM | Link to this

LOL 2CPTG is it that you stick out like a sore thumb to the “new” posters or is it maybe just the same bitter betty in many disguises trying to suck on it?

By arkansas1

August 28, 2008 11:58 AM | Link to this

To Chelle : Did you mean to say several of my guys?

To AmazonRed: Sure you were in that situation! LOL

To The Truth: Even when you have it good it still is not good enough! When young brother are you not going to lead by the little head?

The ladies will give and always give and just because they are giving does not mean we have to disrespect the giving. We just need to enjoy it to the utmost!

That brother needs to ask why you are keeping the goodies from me!

By AmazonRed

August 28, 2008 12:02 PM | Link to this

To AmazonRed: Sure you were in that situation! LOL

arkansas1 - Huh?

By Atl Lady

August 28, 2008 12:02 PM | Link to this

Dan You make women sound like they’re nothing but commodity to be traded on the market to the highest bidder. The market is currently flooded and the price is at an all time low. Yet, you were very vocal about women selling themselves in any capacity for financial gain. Am I reading you correctly???

By Foots

August 28, 2008 12:05 PM | Link to this

Y’all make sure to get gas before the weekend if you can. Folks are getting really worried about that storm coming into the Gulf.

By 2CPTG

August 28, 2008 12:06 PM | Link to this

ha….after reading your post about being married for 33 years, kinda told me alot….Retired? You’re right, I’ll NEVER retire off anyone’s job, cause I don’t believe I gotta work for a mu’fvcka my entire life to get what I want out of life…so in that regards, you are correct. And respect….everyone initially gets my respect….til they lose it!

and empty chatter? hang around for more than a day, and see how empty my conversation is…..

By Foots

August 28, 2008 12:08 PM | Link to this

Clayton County Schools lost their Accreditation They couldn’t recommend probation or something?? They have jacked things up for those children. Not to mention the housing market in the county, property values will tank.

By MELO

August 28, 2008 12:08 PM | Link to this

However, at some point if your walking around showing me azz and saying no I’m strong arming the booty lol mayne u phool…ared yeah,coz these days,u posting from the heart based on my observtion and i like to hear bad and good exp at no cost,if possible……staceye is one among my fav bloggers,she brings it too, authentic,no blog fronting..

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 28, 2008 12:09 PM | Link to this

Is that you Susan Smith? You read a bit rough..

By The Truth

August 28, 2008 12:11 PM | Link to this

Foots So you’re comparing meeting the physical needs of a helpless baby to meeting the sexual needs of a grown azz man? No i’m not. I’m saying that because that chick has that gear available it can be there for me too. It’s not that the baby is helpless, it’s that the baby needs HER. You see the neighbors baby may be crying too but she could care less. If I can get her to understand that I need her in the same way then we are cool.

Slim she never had to “get ready”, she was always ready. I think it’s more mental than physical. Just reach over and touch her booty and pop, they opened. LOL

Ark first I’m not your young bruh. Second, I’ve been married and it’s no cure all. Most folks don’t have the foggiest idea what marriage is about. They actually think it’s about a ceremony. As I said, sex is the greatest measure of how a woman truly feels about you. When you mess up her wiring so bad that she can’t even do for you what she was put on earth to do, comfort, then you may need to reevaluate your technique. Golden rule: ALL WOMEN LOVE TO PLEASE. If thats not happening step out of the situation mentally and look at why not. If it’s something that can be overcome go to work. If not bounce.

By Leggs

August 28, 2008 12:11 PM | Link to this

SMDH!!!!

By SlimOne

August 28, 2008 12:11 PM | Link to this

Dan So would you have that ‘talk’ with said cutbuddy if she started ackin funny with the puddy? OR would you just be like, aight, let me call back up CB?

Cee Doc say: Intercourse is no harm to the baby, I say: Right, and glad ‘cause, if so baby moved over LOL, funny..baby come out with a pipe-shaped defect on the side of it’s head. And your granny looking at you and that baby like, Chile you gots lots of molding to do on dat baby head. lol

Truth My only concern is that I get what I need because without that there is nothing else. It’s her job to make sure she gets what she needs. If we get what we both need it’s called bliss, if not it’s called an old relationship.

This sounds like an excerpt to a relationship help book. LOL!

Foots Could he selfishly continue trying to get his while looking at his love with tears in her eyes because she didn’t want to or because it’s painful for her?

A few months ago a friend described a similar situation that happened with her and her SO. She said he didn’t even realize anything, or acted like he didn’t know until he was already done. Ain’t dat bout a bish

By Dan

August 28, 2008 12:12 PM | Link to this

@Atl Lady

if puddy were a stock, you could buy it at a real low price right now.

Dig it, I’m not the one placing the value on the puddy, you ladies are.

On here we’ve heard about exchanging sex for: money, bills being paid, lifestyle choices, etc.

So how about this, if “all” men can be held accountable for the actions of a rare few (remember “nikka ain’t ish” bashing sessions y’all are fond of) then women can be held accountable too!

Finding a commodity, a real blue chip in this market is getting harder and harder. So yeah, in a manner of speaking…sex has become a commodity.

Disclaimer: hit dogs holler so if none of this applies to you, bark not…

By 2CPTG

August 28, 2008 12:12 PM | Link to this

Raqi, you know how I roll; could care less what the “new” folks think; they come on for one day, read the comments pertaining to the topic, and swear they know folks’ modus operandi….kudos that she’s been married for 33 years; but because I don’t believe in that “holding out” nonsense, I gotta be a caveman? yeah….like Clan of the Cave Bear, come’ere woman!

By Susan

August 28, 2008 12:15 PM | Link to this

No…not Smith. There are many Susans in the world.

And not…not rough…truthful…and that just goes to prove that the truth hurts.

Ciao! (I’m sure most of you will still be here blogging about sex instead of enjoying it). My hubby (who retired from his OWN business and turned it over to our son) is waiting, patiently, to take me out for lunch. (Patience…a virtue.)

By mytwocents

August 28, 2008 12:16 PM | Link to this

She cannot respect him. One should not make decisions that affect more than themselves w/o at least sending a memo. Sounds like a silly little girl tactic, which cheats herself too. Also, he should bring the matter to her, rather than Wise.

If I’m in a sitchy & I think to cut off, I just cut out. What’s the point in being half azzed about it? I’ma whole azzed kinda gal. Fallen

Simon You patrollin posts?

By Dan

August 28, 2008 12:18 PM | Link to this

@Slim

A talk? More like this:

D: Ummm you’ve been kinda tardy on that azz lately.

Chick: Well, yeah, I’ve been having some moral concerns, things on my jo-

D: click….the number you have reached has disconnected the call, please hang up and try again….

By arkansas1

August 28, 2008 12:18 PM | Link to this

To: AmazonRed,

I am joking about your earlier post that you was giving the loving 24/7 and it did not work out for you!

To: Truth

It seems somewhere down the line you have been burned and now you are cynical about marriage! What is the real deal?