By Teresa

September 9, 2008 8:44 AM | Link to this

someone define sexual addict please…Do they bang you and everyone else or is it that they love the act of sex with one person?

By Teresa

September 9, 2008 8:57 AM | Link to this

well not love but is addicted to sex with one person or many people?

By wRENN

September 9, 2008 8:57 AM | Link to this

uh-oh! where is everybody??? Good morning all…

@ Teresa… just like there are drug addictions, sexual addiction is along the same lines…It definitely involves more than one individual, sometimes hundreds or individuals depending on that person’s severity of addiction.

Addiction is just that, something one can’t live without not by choice or so they think…

LL Cool J came out several years ago and revealed he was a sex addict but his long time girlfriend and now wife stood by his side or in my opinion stood by all that money…Kirk Franklin was addicted to pornography as he recently revealed that also.

I encountered a guy years ago who said he was a sex addict, he said that sometimes he’d be sitting with his grandma having a conversation, all the while having a woody under the table…I was in my early 20’s then and that was a wee bit too much for me, something was wrong with that picture. I ran and didn’t look back.

Good day all…

By Hot Mamma

September 9, 2008 9:07 AM | Link to this

When Eric Benet was married to Halle Berry he claimed to have a sexual addiction too.

By Teresa

September 9, 2008 9:09 AM | Link to this

well not love but is addicted to sex with one person or many people?

By AmazonRed

September 9, 2008 9:10 AM | Link to this

Other than a episode arc of the tv show “Girlfriends” can’t say I know much about this one at all. Off to Lurker’s Perch!

Good morning everyone! :-)

By Teresa

September 9, 2008 9:17 AM | Link to this

how do you get cured?

By Teresa

September 9, 2008 9:24 AM | Link to this

what are the symptoms?

By Tuesday

September 9, 2008 9:25 AM | Link to this

I think the word “addiction” is nothing more than a crutch.

We have the power within us to change a behavior we don’t like. But it’s hard, and most people don’t want to try.

I don’t believe in addiction. I don’t believe anything in this world has a power over me to make me do anything!!!!! I am in control of myself.

Alcoholics can quit drinking if they really want to. Simple, don’t buy alcohol. Find something else. It’s like smoking, you find you need something in your hand. Take up a sport, go play tennis, go for a long walk, etc……step away from the bottle.

Smokers, if you really wanted to quit, you can. Ease up on the coffin nails, I mean smokes, cut back one or two a day. You have the power over the cigarettes, not the other way around.

Sex addicts? I hardly doubt it. It’s just a cop out…..I like sex just as much as the next person, but I am NOT addicted to it.

People in this country are so freaking lazy, they blame their problems on others. Accept responsibility for yourself and your actions, and be the best person you can be.

Don’t allow something like a tiny little cigarette control YOUR LIFE!!!

By AmazonRed

September 9, 2008 9:29 AM | Link to this

Teresa,

Try www.google.com.

By DuShawn

September 9, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this

Does anyone know of any sex addicts recovervy meeting locations. Even I should be able to get a date there.

By abc

September 9, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this

There’s cleptomania, melomania, nymphomania; I don’t see why a new label such as ‘sexual addiction’ is really necessary. Besides, addiction implies that the body is dependent upon a particular substance, while mania implies a psychological obsession. I think that the latter is more applicable in cases such as Mr. Duchovny. Saying he’s a nymphomaniac sounds a bit feminine, but it applies.

By NEW-MELO

September 9, 2008 9:45 AM | Link to this

Eric Bennet is no sexual addict..he was just married to the wrong woman.That byaacth needs a white man for a wife,not a brother.She dont wanna get flucked becoz she crazy and smewhow thinks it depreciates her looks..she aint all that anyway..i wldnt fluck her even if she paid me to do it.

By MLL

September 9, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this

Good morning Good People, I guess sex addition is just like any other addiction - you have to have it when you want it. You just can’t never get enough.

By Atl Lady

September 9, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Dang New-Melo!!! Tell us how you really feel. I think Halle just really didn’t know what she wanted in a man. She was abused and stepped on by White and Black men alike even before she became famous. Her marriage to Eric Benet made her realize how badly she wanted a child because she was very close to his daughter. That’s why when the opportunity arose to have a child with this guy with no marriage in the picture, she jumped at the chance.

By NEW-MELO

September 9, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this

you have to have it when you want it. You just can’t never get enough.

There has to be a negative consequence for having it when you want it but in the case of sexx, i dnt see any, as long as you have the means and wrd smith prowes to lure the chic(s) and maybe some back up… Why is somebody’s apetite viewed negatively in this instance???????? If the man and wman are equally voracious in the desires and consumption of sexx,why wld that apetite be a problem to anybody….

By Poppa Grande

September 9, 2008 10:05 AM | Link to this

abc

I agree. I believe that it is more like nyphomania than anything.

Addict usually means that there is some substance involved.

It is unlike a cigarette where there are all kinds of additives in a cigarette to get you hooked to it.

By Beautiful

September 9, 2008 10:09 AM | Link to this

no comment on sex addition. what i’m addicted to … is this dayum blog!

i closed my myspace page last night. im transitioning my life off the internet. i started with the dating websites about nine months ago. it was easier than i thought. i started seeing the same faces and that helped me to shut it down. my next move is my instant messenger, which will be effortless. i’ve already been making my name invisible little by little. how will i let MIA go though? i honestly don’t think there’s anything else to learn here. you guys have done well. this, i will take slow. no promises. i know what will pull me away w/o a fight and that’s what i’m betting on. without even trying, dating has picked up! ;-) if i would spend as much time hustlin’ as i do on this computer …

anyone else feeling this way? read y’all tomorrow. waving

By For Real

September 9, 2008 10:09 AM | Link to this

Chick: For Real I am tire of you cheating me. I want a divorce.

For Real: Divorce!!!

Chick: That’s right and I am going to take you for everything you got. Cheatin mitty-ficky!!!

For Real: You ain’t taken ish!!! I worked my azz off for what I got. For Real storms out the house.

While in the car For Real calls his homeboy.

For Real: What D man Laquanette is tripping again. She think i’m cheatin on her

D: You are!

For Real: I know but she doesn’t know I cheatin she just guessing. Anyway, wants a divorce talkin bout she gon tak all my ish.

D: She can and she will take it all.

For Real: WTF!!! Hellz naw! That bytch didn’t have ish when I met her azz.

D: Doesn’t matter the judge will give her all your ish.

For Real: Fugged that ish. I got to think of something. I’ll holla back.

For Real: Hey baby can we talk? I don’t want to lose you. You are the best thing in my life.

Chick: I don’t want to lose you either For Real but the cheating has to stop.

For Real: I understand what you saying baby. I think I got a problem.

Chick: A problem?

For Real: Yeah, I think I’m addicted to sex.

Chick: What the fugg kind of excuse is that??

For Real: No it’s a real addiction. I’m going to see a Doctor about tomorrow.

Chick: Awwwwww baby i didn’t know. Does it hurt?

For Real: Yes because I’m hurting the one person I love the most in the whole world.

Chick: Awwwwwwwww baby I’ll stand by you and we will work through this together. No matter how long it takes.

For Real: GOTCHA BYTCH!!!!!!!!

By Leggs

September 9, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

Good day everyone! Dushawn, are you having trouble getting a date???

In my mind, I believe my ex was a sex addict.

Melo, believe the appetite becomes a problem when you’re married and SEXING OTHERS!

By wRENN

September 9, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

@ Tuesday…not to debate with you because we are all entitled to our opinions but it has been statistically proven that smoking is more addictive than cocaine…

It has been proven also that the tabacco companies put something in their products to keep the unsuspecting smoker addicted to their products. Why do you think the tabacco industry continues to be sued…because people know now.

With that said, addiction is real and I don’t think it is all in a person’s mind…thank goodness I have none but in another aspect you may be right if you are a really strong willed person maybe and i say maybe lightly you can stop.

I’m no expert but I continue to expand my mind by reading and watching educational programming with the occasional idiotic programming. The History and Discovery channels bring alot of things to light, you may want to check their programming out sometimes.

By NEW-MELO

September 9, 2008 10:18 AM | Link to this

to have a child with this guy with no marriage in the picture, she jumped at the chance.

FOH Atllady,she jumped on the chance coz she realized she was old and all the fine black men were passing her by and at 40+, her chances of searing a baby were fast fading….That act speaks more of desperation than luv….and the white dude fell on her lap, he wl lick her endlesslsy without poking big joe in her fake and tired azz……

By Wallace

September 9, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

David Duchovny is only doing that to promote his show. Basically some PR guy had the idea to have life imitate art.

By NEW-MELO

September 9, 2008 10:29 AM | Link to this

what if u single,sexxyL

By 1CPTG©

September 9, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this

What up? This here is 1C,…Ya’ll seen my pops around here? If anybody see my daddy, tell him I’m looking for his azz.

By BLOW ME u BIZZIES

September 9, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this

Beautiful This is NOT Dear Diary…..We are ok without the briefing of your life. Puhleeze spare us.

Sex Addict…I don’t know. Alot of sex is great..with ONE partner. Anything else would be too much.

By Leggs

September 9, 2008 10:37 AM | Link to this

Then you’re at liberty to sex whomever you like. Guess there won’t be a problem if you let the women know they’re only good for a “deposit”. What man is going to be that honest?

By Chink

September 9, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

Morning

I believe I dated a addict or mania type of of personality

Symptoms to me were the unsatiable appetite to view pornography all the time @ work also

Wanted to push the envelope all the time in the act

Too much fantasy and couldnt understand that No I didnt want to do that but still tried to force the issue

And finally going back and forth about whats morally right….meaning wanted to change but kept on repeating the same patterns..and then playing the victim role

Yup it was a roller coaster and glad I got out alive….

By 2CPTG

September 9, 2008 10:40 AM | Link to this

hahahahahahahah!!!!!

cute.

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this

I never even heard of a problem with sex addiction until Eric Benet…and like someone else mentioned that character on Girlfriends…I never even thought about it really…I just assumed a person who like sex was a nymphomaniac and such…but I guess like everything else, one can have a problem with sexual urges and all…I guess I need to research the topic more to find out how it is clinically defined and diagnosed…just seems that it appears more like a person needing to justify why they want to make like a bunny rabbit all day, every day…and not get paid…lol…something short of a porn gig.

By NEW-MELO

September 9, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this

won’t be a problem if you let the women know they’re only good for a “deposit”

i dont think a lot of the FWB females on here wl take kindly to that…lol

By Wise Diva

September 9, 2008 10:42 AM | Link to this

I can tell it is going to be one of those wacky days on the blog, no interest in the topic, so the random/regular folks starts to pop off some drama, grabbing my popcorn

By Leggs

September 9, 2008 10:47 AM | Link to this

Exactly and that’s why there will be problem. You can’t sex all these women up and they not find out. No man can spread himself that thin and get away with it.

1C and 2C that was funny, now go home and work things out!

By 2CPTG

September 9, 2008 10:47 AM | Link to this

Jr., take yo azz to class!

By Wise Diva

September 9, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this

wow, Chink, you know that actually reminds me of an ex - the pyscho cop. Also, what is an acceptable amount of porn that guys have? I am convinced another, ex and his trash bags full of stuff, had a problem.

it’s funny (or maybe not THAT funny) because whenever I date new guys, I have a moment of fear when I think they could have some serious bedroom issues, because of my track record, um yeah LOL.

By 1CPTG©

September 9, 2008 10:53 AM | Link to this

Pops, hey man. Why you went missing from the house that day mama lost yo’ wallet? She been cryin and looking everywhere for it.

By Leggs

September 9, 2008 10:59 AM | Link to this

Ok, so what is a reasonable amount of sex? 3x a week, 4x a week, everyday???? Best believe men and women have different outlooks on this!

By 2CPTG

September 9, 2008 11:00 AM | Link to this

da hell yo mama doin wit’ my shyt anyway???? When she had the keys to the kingdom, she didn’t know how to act; but tell her don’t even sweat it, all’s been replaced……

By i'm swiss

September 9, 2008 11:01 AM | Link to this

RE: Duchovny — I agree w/ the earlier blogger that called it out as a publicity stunt. I mean he plays a sex addict on his show & now he is a sex addict? Or maybe he’s into method acting…

As for sex addicts in general… This reminds me of the joke about the difference between a drunk & an alcoholic — alcoholics go to meetings. Wonder if the same applies for sex addicts? Sex addicts go to meetings, horny mofos just get freaky. Hmmm… I might qualify as the latter…

By wRENN

September 9, 2008 11:03 AM | Link to this

@2CPTG, good morning sir…glad to see and read that you are sounding like your old self again…thank goodness, missed ya, glad you’re back…

say you know 2CPTG, Vivica A. Fox has made a sequel called Three Can Play That Game it was on BET Black Cinema this past weekend or last weekend one of those and it was alright, nothing to write home about…I think she should have stayed at no. 1 but she is doing her producing thang and all so can’t beat a sistah up for that…

Her plastic surgery did some awful things to her facial structure…but i guess to be in hollywood one must continue to look at youthful as possible.

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 11:03 AM | Link to this

@WD

Pass the popcorn…now you kow ppl living in glass houses can not throw no stones…may have to call a priest for confessional if the topic does start some interactive convo…lol

By Atl Lady

September 9, 2008 11:12 AM | Link to this

Wise Diva I’m sorry, but I just don’t know anything about this particular subject. I’ve never known anyone to be a sex addict. I’ve known plenty of people whose actions fall just below that line. I’ve known drug addicts, alcoholics, and nicotine addicts (hell I work with a few).

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 11:12 AM | Link to this

@i’m swiss

LOL…uh-huh…now that is some real method acting…What is my motivation?…ummm.

By i'm swiss

September 9, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this

“Ok, so what is a reasonable amount of sex? 3x a week, 4x a week, everyday????”

Um… What’s wrong with 3 or 4 times a day? Seems reasonable to me (now, just have to get soon-to-be swiss miss on board w/ that schedule…)

By 2CPTG

September 9, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this

Hey, wRENN, how are ya….yeah, the universe is back in balance, once again…..and I saw the previewing of that show, but never watched it; shoot, I still haven’t seen the original “Two Can Play That Game.”

By Chink

September 9, 2008 11:17 AM | Link to this

Wise

Good question what is an acceptable amount of porn?

I guess to get that answer we would have to find out why its used? What does it do for you? and then Why do you need it?

Mind you this is a private thing most people dont broadcast their porn usage since its something they do in “private”.

But I digress ..maybe I am getting to deep.

By wRENN

September 9, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this

LOL…2CPTG, now you know you wrong…at least check one of the movies out sometime since you are using that moniker…ha ha ha, well at least you honest…can’t beat a brotha up for that…

By Foots

September 9, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this

Leggs Ok, so what is a reasonable amount of sex? 3x a week, 4x a week, everyday????

I bet that my man thought he had a healthy appetite before he met me. I just wish my body could actually keep up with my desire level.

Wise Good question what is an acceptable amount of porn?

Depends on who you’re with. But I guess that a blanket answer is whenever it starts interfering with your in-person relationships, it’s a problem.

By MLL

September 9, 2008 11:32 AM | Link to this

Leggs I read an article where a wife gave her husband a gift of sex everyday for a year. The husband was hestitant about it because he said it would not spontaneous nor would there be any passion, well he changed his mind and accepted the gift - instead of everyday they had sex @5 days a week.

By Poppa Grande

September 9, 2008 11:35 AM | Link to this

Leggs

Ok, so what is a reasonable amount of sex? 3x a week, 4x a week, everyday???? Best believe men and women have different outlooks on this!

IMO gender isn’t what causes the different looks. Individuals in general have different libidos.

Chink

maybe I am getting to deep.

It is all relative. It serves a purpose. I know females who read their erotic novels and such. I don’t really see a difference between those novels and porn.

By wRENN

September 9, 2008 11:37 AM | Link to this

@2CPTG, by the way the imbalance that you feel from time to time could be the mercury retrograde that happens at least several months throughout the year…

It causes disruptions in relationships, business deals, consumer buying, you name it, it probably disrupts it…

so take a deep breath the next time you are not feeling yourself…it probably is the universe doing its thang…

By 1CPTG©

September 9, 2008 11:37 AM | Link to this

Come on pops man, cain’t you and mama work something out? she been trippin since u left…mama been driving around looking for you and we have to stay at Ms. Wanda house. I ain’t tell her where you at. Can I come live with you?

By Leggs

September 9, 2008 11:37 AM | Link to this

MLL, first let me tell I’ve stopped looking for trouble! If it must it’ll find me.

Yes, I read that article too. Oprah had a couple on a few weeks ago (maybe the same couple). He was hesitant, but wasn’t about to turn it down. I’m not having sex so I can’t say what’s a reasonable amount of time cuz right now everyday would be good for me.

By Leggs

September 9, 2008 11:41 AM | Link to this

Ok, I’ll definitely buy that PoppaG, forget about the gender. It’s about the differing libidos. Thanks!

By Wise Diva

September 9, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this

Handling different libidos in a relationship, that is a tricky one. That is when compromise is not a good look, somebody is going to get screwed, pun intended

By MLL

September 9, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this

LOL Leggs

By NEW-MELO

September 9, 2008 11:58 AM | Link to this

a wman calls on porsche foxx show to find out about her health and says she fine and good blah blah blah but she just wanna know,but the fake psycho shrink says * i see u got some neurological stuff going on*….that was crazy…whats up with that?? Crazzies feel good in their wrld too..wtf.lol….

By Cemeeli

September 9, 2008 12:00 PM | Link to this

Almost lunchtime, finally!

Hey folks.

just peeking in…and coming down from that Monday night football…

I know females who read their erotic novels and such. I don’t really see a difference between those novels and porn.

PoppaG

Now this i gotta agree with, some of these racy novels are simply porn chronicles!

ForReal Hush…you started with the foolery early this morning?!! skit was to early Lol

off to lunch

By Foots

September 9, 2008 12:03 PM | Link to this

Wise Not really, if the person with the lower drive knows how to put their SO to sleep, so they won’t be bothered again that night at least. I’m mean, Go to Sleep, Go Directly to Sleep! Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect the Towel! Knocking somebody the f/k out is an acquired skill. LOL!!

By Blue

September 9, 2008 12:06 PM | Link to this

Does anyone on this blog speak or type english? It is impossible to read what ya’ll are trying to say.

Ebonics is alive and well……

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 12:07 PM | Link to this

@Poppa G IMO gender isn’t what causes the different looks. Individuals in general have different libidos.

I agree…I know my personal experience is an indication of that because I am no where near as libido driven at 48 as I was at 18…..back then I was in autobahn mania…now, I am a little old lady Sunday driving in the right lane…lol…and I also think that societal double standards influence the perception of gender significance more than it really accurate…women, traditionally, have had more stigmatized associations if the publicly admit to high libido energy and drive…not necessarily so for men.

By Chink

September 9, 2008 12:07 PM | Link to this

Poppa

Do you think different libidos can break a marriage? Not including addiction issues.

I would hope that is something that can be worked on….

Some are planning to wait before marriage ..I might have to use a measuring stick though ..need to know what I am working with ….lol

By i'm swiss

September 9, 2008 12:13 PM | Link to this

“I’m mean, Go to Sleep, Go Directly to Sleep! Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect the Towel! Knocking somebody the f/k out is an acquired skill.”

@Foots — Aha! I was wondering where my honey learned “the sleeper” ;-)

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 12:14 PM | Link to this

Handling different libidos in a relationship, that is a tricky one. That is when compromise is not a good look, somebody is going to get screwed, pun intended

Truly and indeed…that is not easy to reconcile either…because one person with high libido wants often and the one with the low libido wants less…and in a relationship sexual intimacy that is not mutually desired is also mot mutually enjoyed…that can create tension the permeates so many other aspects of the relationship…and even lead to being able to justify extracirricular sexual liaisons….tough call…touch choices…no win-no win

By Wise Diva

September 9, 2008 12:17 PM | Link to this

aw Blue, what’s the matter, are you having a bad day?

By NEW-MELO

September 9, 2008 12:18 PM | Link to this

Do you think different libidos can break a marriage? yes and absolutely…..my lady wanted to wrk nights..i told her she can but when she come home,i may be in some other warm wman’s bed…she quit the thoght….

By AmazonRed

September 9, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this

my lady wanted to wrk nights..i told her she can but when she come home,i may be in some other warm wman’s bed

Good grief. :-/

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 12:28 PM | Link to this

aw Blue, what’s the matter, are you having a bad day?

No, just linguistically limited…that’s all…some ppl can not cultural actualize…lol…oh well…2050 is coming…even Jon McCain mentioned it in his Meet the Press interview on Sunday…den we all be ‘munnicating likes us peeps…lol

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 12:32 PM | Link to this

@ARed

What else would you expect for Melo…lol…par for the course…but hey, better to be honest than forced to dishonest, so to speak…my bro be so silly sometimes…lol

By NEW-MELO

September 9, 2008 12:35 PM | Link to this

yeah,ared denying me my comjugal rights is a sure way for us to go seperate routes…afternoon sexx(as an alt) aint that good either,not with ur regular..its okay when u just nibling sme other quickie couchie…doing a drop,as sexxl wld say…

By AmazonRed

September 9, 2008 12:36 PM | Link to this

but hey, better to be honest than forced to dishonest

M’Karyl, that’s why I give him credit, and can still stand to read his posts. Heck, it is what it is. LOL

By Sidelines

September 9, 2008 12:37 PM | Link to this

Is it me or did M’Karyl just confess to being Blue…

Classic…lmao!!!

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 12:43 PM | Link to this

@Sidelines

Yuck foo…lol…I was poking fun at Blue’s dislike for the ebonics on this blog…lol…I assumed the BLue was ofay…I mean okay…now, LMAO

By Dan

September 9, 2008 12:43 PM | Link to this

Oh yeah, where’s Truth, the Raiders got assualted last night

and sad to say D.Hall was molested all night by a rookie reciever…

By AmazonRed

September 9, 2008 12:43 PM | Link to this

melo - I didn’t ask for any clarification! Do what works for you and your household! ;-). It’s good you don’t have a sassy wife. LOL

By Sidelines

September 9, 2008 12:45 PM | Link to this

After careful re-reading, you were simply responding, I get it!

Back to lurksville…mmob!!!

By NEW-MELO

September 9, 2008 12:48 PM | Link to this

whats a sassy wife…

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

September 9, 2008 12:49 PM | Link to this

Beautiful Now I will not be able to leave you Stewie comments anymore! Sniff sniff!

melo what did Halle ever do to you buddy? LOL

On topic (somewhat) I have an addictive personality….my addictions are chocolate and shopping and oh yeah I am beauty product junkie! I also am addicted to excercise. I think that is just my adult ADHD! I can not stay still or stay in one place too long. I think that is why I get antsy at work each day and why I can not go to a Black church! they have you in there all day! I mean really…must one song last 15 minutes. If the annoucements are in the the program that each member is fanning with…then why take 20-30 minutes to read them and talk about the,? They are in Black and white…read folks! And why does the pastor have to preach for an hour and gets mad when memebers start leaving because he has been flapping his jibs to long? I have attended one mega church since I moved to ATL and they had the nerve to had the ushers close the doors and prevent people from leaving because he talked too long and did not take up offering? That is some straight up BS!

Ok…hoping off my soap box now!

Oh yeah, I am back from NY and had a ball. So my first day off my crutches I put on heels to go out for my girls bachelorette and we went to drag queen club where I won a lap dance contest (on a guy who was NOT in drag). I sang Queen of the Night (how fitting) in the karaoke bar part of the show. Then we left and got our drink on in the limo and went to a club..that was next door to a gay club. We accidentaly got on thier line and one of the guys said I think you guys are inthe wrong line. Now I should know better after my Bulldogs near experience. If the line has all guys…chances are its a gay club! But we had been drinking since noon and it was now 1AM. My friends still got hangovers from Saturday today. Can’t wait for the wedding in November down in Miami! I will be a hot azz mess!

By abc

September 9, 2008 12:51 PM | Link to this

No amount of porn is “acceptable”. WTF are you talking about? Do you consider porn to be accepable on any level?

As I explained it to my sons, pornography is not about an entertainment genre, it’s about women who pursue participation out of desperation in trying to survive. I would venture to say that women begin their participation in porn in order to survive, and (for the most part) men begin their participation to satisfy their greed.

All sexual immorality aside, it’s immoral to feed an industry that exploits women in that way. I can scarcely believe a woman would ask “what is an acceptable amount of porn.

By AmazonRed

September 9, 2008 1:01 PM | Link to this

whats a sassy wife…

One who would tell you to kick rocks and go somewhere with that bullshat! LOL

By Sidelines

September 9, 2008 1:03 PM | Link to this

M’Karyl…that’s why I said, “going back to lurksville, mmob (minding my own business)”!!!!

lmao…

By Shine

September 9, 2008 1:04 PM | Link to this

@Dan-you had ask me a few questions on the last wed topic about “when a man loves a woman”, I never got a chance to respond. So here are my answers. Yes Im a female.”My views on open marriage/relatinshp” I would be willing to discuss having a “open relationship”,havent been involved with any guy that would be down for that. Am I cute?-well u would have to be the judge of that. Yes Im single. Now what?

By Dan

September 9, 2008 1:08 PM | Link to this

Um, abc

There has been talk on here for weeks about the use of battery operated boyfriends (BOB) with nicknames, reinactments, and even comparisons of the individual “items”, all brought to you by the porn industry and told to you by sexually confident women.

So, while I can understand your moral outrage, porn isn’t a multi billion dollar business for no reason.

And I would argue though not participate that “self love” is a natural and healthy act, making one more inclined and attuned to thier own sexual needs, and thus better able to communicate them with new and potential partners.

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 1:09 PM | Link to this

@Sidelines

I gotcha…lol…see what happen we these folks use ebonics up in here…lawdy, folks can not read and make sense of the post…lol

By Dan

September 9, 2008 1:11 PM | Link to this

@Shine

Thank you for answering even after all this time… ;)

As for me judging your physical characteristics, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but remember…you’re beholdent only to yourself in this life.

Although should you like to take this discussion further offline:

danbynight@netzero.net

Serve returned…ball is in your court…

By Chink

September 9, 2008 1:12 PM | Link to this

abc

That doesnt negate the fact that people watch it and or entertained by it.

If it went away I wouldnt be sad…but its here and there are grown people looking at it….but my preference would be someone who didnt indulge in said activities.

And I do agree with you thats its done for “money reasons” not necessarily to survive …because some are living it up beyond their COL.

By they way how am I feeding this industry by asking a question …I don’t give them money?? Most men are the one giving them money so I suggest you direct that question and diatribe to your male readers…

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 1:20 PM | Link to this

@abc

Trying to survive…a former acquaintance of mine makes 60K a year as a porn star…and all of its associated outlets…does not sound like struggle earnings to me…but then I would not want to do porn flicks for a living no matter how much I could earn…she has done something 200 plus since 1996.

By Leggs

September 9, 2008 1:24 PM | Link to this

…folks use ebonics up in here…lawdy, folks can not read and make sense of the post…lol Errtime I read this I think of the songs sung during slavery with messages in them that white folk couldn’t decipher!

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 1:31 PM | Link to this

@Leggs LMAO…sure you are right…be why they do not like it now…New Boss just like the Old Boss…lol…but by 2050 they best be ready.

By Cemeeli

September 9, 2008 1:32 PM | Link to this

m’karyl you have mail.

melo if a DAY!…jus a day!!! will you take your hands off your wang.

2C the 4th grad girls must think imma school girl too. Jasmine told me that she’d really like for me to come to her b/day sleepover.

what happen? oh that’d be anutha Blue, cause it ain’t that Blue_Kolla with his specialize in ebonics…

Atl Lady …you know that other chic that hangs with Churchlady?… she dunno how it happened but over the years her libido subsided to the point were she forgot all about coulda, shoulda.

By i'm swiss

September 9, 2008 1:36 PM | Link to this

“…a former acquaintance of mine makes 60K a year as a porn star…”

60K a year? Is that all? I always thought they made more than that — especially the women (or the dudes that do gay porn). Good to know I’m more of a baller than some porn stars. Now, where’s my fluffer? ;-)

By Cemeeli

September 9, 2008 1:36 PM | Link to this

Stac have fun chica. Sounds like you all showed the bride to be a great time.

By Cemeeli

September 9, 2008 1:39 PM | Link to this

Tazzee are you lurking? I’m looking for the Wii fit too! Did you make it back to Houston all in one piece?

By NEW-MELO

September 9, 2008 1:39 PM | Link to this

she’s sassy alrght but no match for the watering hose,it really has an effect on her brains and personality. Do you consider porn to be accepable on any level?

porn is a lot of fun as long as you do it in moderation.It helps to enhance ur own sexxual lyfe and learn new things.We luv it and watch it together on occassion.Why wld an adult female(male) who participates in such be considered to be exploited if thats what they like….its funny how Republicans will moralize but they are the biggest patronizers of such behind closed doors shenanigans…

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 1:47 PM | Link to this

@cemeeli

No mail mami

By Blue_Kolla

September 9, 2008 1:47 PM | Link to this

what happen? oh that’d be anutha Blue, cause it ain’t that Blue_Kolla with his specialize in ebonics…

Thanks Cee; Mkaryl Git’chu some glassiz!

…back to the ville.

By NEW-MELO

September 9, 2008 1:50 PM | Link to this

Cee..i dnt masturbate..i dont knw the motives of those who do but i think it may be due to lack of pudsy(the last time i ever did on myself was in my teens when i used to occassionaly dream fluckling sme nice biacth) ….i have an outlet alright now,wish i had more depositories…..

By Jamoca

September 9, 2008 1:50 PM | Link to this

Ummm… Cee should you not know …that person is an imposter…lol!

how’s it goin’ sis?!

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 1:51 PM | Link to this

i’m swiss

It may be more now…that was very early in her career…but she is in a lot a magazines for women with excessively large ta-ta’s…she does private sessions with fanclub members…so I am sure the amount has greatly increased…I searched her name and found her site…she listed on a couple and she has her own…could be doing 100K plus by now.

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 1:53 PM | Link to this

@BK

Mayne…I knew that won’t you…some ofay imposter going by Blue…commented on not liking the ebonics be spoken up in here…you got some problems…lol…but that ain’t one of them…lol

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 1:53 PM | Link to this

@BK

Mayne…I knew that won’t you…some ofay imposter going by Blue…commented on not liking the ebonics be spoken up in here…you got some problems…lol…but that ain’t one of them…lol

By Tazzee

September 9, 2008 1:54 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli Hey Lady - I’m always lurking, LOL. I got back to Houston yesterday morning - my dern iPhone posted my first post again at the end of the day, LOL.

I haven’t tried to find my Wii yet. I might stop by GameStop on my way home from the gym tonight. My friend got her Wii fit at the GameStop on Camp Creek, but that was the last one (I think).

By i'm swiss

September 9, 2008 1:56 PM | Link to this

“Why wld an adult female(male) who participates in such be considered to be exploited if thats what they like”

@melo — Where do I cosign? You know, the only reason porn is such a big industry in the US (apart from being AWESOME LOL) is that most Americans are so uptight about anything & everything involving sex. Funny, we have no problem watching movies & TV shows with people getting beat down, tortured, blown up, etc. — but don’t let a t!tty pop out during a half time show, ‘cos then IT’S ON! LOL

By Cemeeli

September 9, 2008 2:00 PM | Link to this

Hi Moca! gimme a Mocalatte, i need it. What it do?

m’karyl …don’t be to anxious it’s only another Art thingy, an invite to the (Natural Hair) event.

By Leggs

September 9, 2008 2:00 PM | Link to this

i have an outlet alright now,wish i had more depositories…. what a waste of keystrokes (LOL). Everyone on here is fully aware of your desire in this area.

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 2:04 PM | Link to this

@Cemeeli

oh…I got that and repleid like hours ago…I thought it was something new…neber min

By abc

September 9, 2008 2:09 PM | Link to this

A woman selling her body on film over and over for $60K a year amounts to extreme exploitation, in my opinion.

Reference to women using vibrators vs. women participating in porn films is a non sequitur, the two are mutually exclusive and unrelated.

That porn sells a lot is no justification for the exploitation of the people in it. Set aside the sexual immorality of it, and it becomes the same as paying miniscule amounts to illegal immigrants because you can, paying less to women or minorities because you can — after all, they’ll show up to do it on their own, nobody’s holding a gun to their head — and it keeps the price of goods and services down, of things that sell a lot. Exploitation is exploitation. That this crowd can’t acknowledge the exploitative nature of pornography is stupefying.

I hope my children understood what I was teaching them: it’s not about the entertainment value of it, it’s about the exploitation of the so-called “entertainers”.

By Cemeeli

September 9, 2008 2:12 PM | Link to this

melo i dnt masturbate i dont knw the motives of those who do but i think it may be due to lack of. “hand 2 wang” i was only speaking of how your x-zulu thoughts/theories come in your mind, and most times it happends when you have a good train of thought. i venture to subsitute slapping your wrist since .02 is absent

By Shine

September 9, 2008 2:12 PM | Link to this

@Dan. Thanks for the addy. Im really not able to stay on this site long thus the reason for the late response. I have readu before & my interest is peek. I will contact you soon.

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 2:15 PM | Link to this

@abc

A woman selling her body on film over and over for $60K a year amounts to extreme exploitation, in my opinion.

It was Sierra’s choice to become a porn star…that is what she wanted to do…she likes sex…she has triple D boobs…she had been a stripper…so if she was exploited…then it was of her own accord…no one else’s…she is a self-proclaimed freak of pleasure…her thing…so she decided to get paid doing just that.

By Cemeeli

September 9, 2008 2:16 PM | Link to this

Tazzee my dear, i hope beat you to the store gurl. I had another sample taste of the Wii @ a party and i’m itchin’! While this economy is going to shreads imma get up on teh Wii fit. Yea, err’where you go they either don’t have any or one left or will order you a bundle for $350. <—- ah, no i’ll make my own bundle.

Blue got the extra lil bachelors at the house. How are the boys?

By Jamoca

September 9, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this

LOL! @ neber min …. who would’ve thought….ha!

Cee …naaah, I think you’re in need of summa’ this cuban coffee …here ya’ go, gon’ head and see what its hittin’ fo’. Have you up ALLLL dayum night too.

By Blue_Kolla

September 9, 2008 2:19 PM | Link to this

That this crowd can’t acknowledge the exploitative nature of pornography is stupefying.

Maslow preaching to a 15-year old about Self Actualization = abc preaching to this blog on exploitation = zero comprehension.

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 2:20 PM | Link to this

@abc

That this crowd can’t acknowledge the exploitative nature of pornography is stupefying.

BTW, I personally can not get into porn…do not like it…do not want to watch it…period…I do not want to watchother ppl having sex…no thank you…but I am not going to impose my beliefs on others choices…and I do not support the industry…I have some very strong personal opinions about it…but they are just that…my opinions.

By DuShawn

September 9, 2008 2:20 PM | Link to this

On the topic of porn stars getting paid, there is a popular porn chick named Cherokee. She was recently the headliner at this strip joint I visited. The club owner told me she charged a $2500 appearance fee. She was selling autographed pictures for $35 a piece (I watched her sign about 20 in an hour)and when she was through performing, they had to use a push broom to sweep all the money off stage. She made ten stacks that night easily.

By China Doll

September 9, 2008 2:22 PM | Link to this

Speaking of Natural Hair, does anyone know of a spot to get hair flat ironed. I have been letting my hair grow out naturally for the last two years. My natural hair is now just pass my shoulders and I’m ready to it pressed.

Any recommendations?

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 2:30 PM | Link to this

@ChinaDoll

In the ATL…weave capitol U S of A…good luck…too bad my moms doesn’t live there…I can remember (ouch!)her hair pressing days (ouch!) with the hot comb and ultrasheen yellow (ouch!) grease…lol

By Chink

September 9, 2008 2:31 PM | Link to this

China Doll

You can try the dominicans ..they do wonders with natural hair.

Can you roller set your hair? When I was all natural I went to them all the time and its not too much money….I am semi natural now I use the soy perm phytospecific about twice a year…and I am good.

By Cemeeli

September 9, 2008 2:34 PM | Link to this

China Doll…when i wore my hair natural i was getting it done @ Taahjal on Ralph David Abernathy. There are an abundance of natural hair shops in the WestEnd & going towards Ashby area.

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 2:35 PM | Link to this

@China Chink is right…there are several Dominicsn shops in Norcross off of Jimmy Carter…no doubt your best bet.

By NEW-MELO

September 9, 2008 2:36 PM | Link to this

it’s about the exploitation of the so-called “entertainers”

i can bet u there is smething in ur household or u wearing now that was made in mexico,china india thailand or sme other 3rd wrld cntry….the pple who made that were exploited..if we can pursue ur argument to the tee.Heck they are shipping jobs to china etc coz wages are cheaper there,its exploitation.Tell that argument to the folks in ohio or better yet,right here in GA, in dalton,the carpet jobs have moved overseas coz the entrepeneurs are exploiting folk overseas. If thats the only argument u have,im ordering 2 programs tonite from my dtv 632 chnell coz we all in good pornographis company abc.The moral argument is tired..u and Palin want to take this cntry dwn the slippery slope by tryng to load that moral stuff dwn our throats..as adults we do what we please.Otherwise im going back to africa,i can dizzle with 10 wmen and noone will care.

By Cemeeli

September 9, 2008 2:39 PM | Link to this

I use the soy perm phytospecific

Chink is that what i’ve seen the stylist use to make the hair silky straight? One madam swears by it. Before she adds indian weave in her hair this perm blends better with it. Her hair was black and very long ‘n straight. She like that indian weave though.

By China Doll

September 9, 2008 2:39 PM | Link to this

Chink

The roller set is not going to work. My hair has a tight curl so roller set = AFRO and that look is not cute on me. Please believe

My sis was going to the Dominicans and got a serious scalp burn…so not doing that.

I’ve been wearing braids…but want to wear my natural hair, but wear it straight especially since the winter is coming…less chance of it “going back” because of heat and humitiy (sp).

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 2:40 PM | Link to this

No Cemeeli…there are a ton of Korean owned wig shops in the West End…lol…and a few hairbraiding cultural venues…lol…just messing with you chica.

By Bre'

September 9, 2008 2:41 PM | Link to this

China You need to find a real good person that specializes in natural hair to press it. I would more so look into a good blow out then flat ironed instead of a press. I’ve been natural for a long time I don’t even have that many options in NYC esp since they charge me extra on top of extra when they see how much hair I have. Imgaine D.Ross hair, super thick and long….the blessing of keeping a weave for a very long time. If one more non black person ask me if they can touch my afro puff I shall be arrested for punching them the heck out.

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 2:42 PM | Link to this

@Melo

Yeah…but by 2050 them jobs will be back in this country because by then the ppl of color will be the majority…meaning all folks with visible melanin…so they will bring them plantations back…lol

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 2:42 PM | Link to this

@Melo

Yeah…but by 2050 them jobs will be back in this country because by then the ppl of color will be the majority…meaning all folks with visible melanin…so they will bring them plantations back…lol

By Cemeeli

September 9, 2008 2:46 PM | Link to this

M’karyl lol…them too. I need to holler at braidqueen, i’m wearing micros and need them out. My hair should be natural…hadn’t seen chemical in several months…

By Leggs

September 9, 2008 2:48 PM | Link to this

One of our track moms came to the banquet with her hair all nicely done. She has very long hair. Said she got it done at a hairsalon on Candler Road and McAfee for $10.00. A wash and set is only $10.00. Flatironing couldn’t be too much higher. BTW, her hair looked very, very good!

By Wise Diva

September 9, 2008 2:49 PM | Link to this

WHAT the deuce, how did we get on the topic of weave/wigs??? LOL!! Let me catch up!

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

September 9, 2008 2:50 PM | Link to this

Melo my lady wanted to wrk nights..i told her she can but when she come home,i may be in some other warm wman’s bed That is some BS! She wants to make money and you as a grown azz man can’t prioritize and practice self control. Now if she said that to you it would be a different story.

M’Karyl $60K for degrading herself and putting herself for STD risks (I do not care how the test you we know it takes 3-6 months for HIV to show up)is nothing. I do just as well and I do not have to screw strangers on film for it. I feel for your friend.

China Doll I have going to Dominican shops all my life. Go to Juanita’s on Langford Rd. Take 85 to Buford highway and make a right. At the shell gas station make a left. The shop is ina mini plaza on the left.

By C tha 1

September 9, 2008 2:51 PM | Link to this

It seems some of you all are rather anal retentive … is porn really the bane of this society? I mean if it dictates your life then yeah, but like much in life there is a simple compartment one can place their sex life in. Furthermore, I used to work in Starship … I needed the money and they hire people rather quickly. I guess the average person can’t consume eight hours worth of butt naked azz at a time. Please believe it was RAW & PURE UNCUT COMEDY working at that store!!

At any rate, if you want to truly have a good idea of what type of person you’re dealing with, just check out what type of stimulation they’re into. And it doesn’t matter if the person is a white conservative happily married (supposedly) with two kids, or a pierced & tatted up gay immigrant, EVERYONE & and I do mean EVERYONE wants to bust a nut.

Moreover, for those of you who insist on judging a book by its cover … tisk, tisk. The irony of my whole 8 months experience is that there wasn’t that much of a difference between your extremely conservative looking people and the extremely look “wierd” people. It opened my eyes to alot. Also it put my gaydar on razor sharp alert because bisexuality runs so deep in ATL its scarey. It also reinforced my belief that men generally don’t know how nasty their SO would like to get … if dudes could get past their own pride and go out of their way to make them feel as comfortable as possible ladies would amaze them with what they really want to do. But everyone has limits.

At the end of the day I say do you and be honest about it. Plus I had hella fun with some strippers, can’t complain about that.

By abc

September 9, 2008 2:52 PM | Link to this

Melo, such exploitation doesn’t compare one-to-one with offshoring of jobs, but suppose it did. Consider the relative enslavement of the people so occupied. Compare that to patronage of slavery, Jim Crow, share cropping, mill communities, migrant workers in this country — why change that which is so ubiquitous, as it was in the Southern United States?

Are you going to tell me that apathy toward exploitation is acceptable because of its preponderance? Are any of these things really that different from each other?

By China Doll

September 9, 2008 2:54 PM | Link to this

Bre That’s exactly what my hair looks like…Diana Ross. I love the thickness…but don’t want to go back to permming my hair.

By Dan

September 9, 2008 2:55 PM | Link to this

@abc

I don’t think it was a non sequitor. Purveyors and watchers of porn do in some sense become liberated from the Puritan construct that this society imposes. Thus, sexually liberated and confident people are able to engage in activities that are “considered” by some to be immoral.

What gets me is the judgement of someone else’s habit’s or how they live their life.

You, as a parent, have the right (in this country) to raise your children in the manner that you see fit. Likewise I (and others), as adults, have the right to live our lives in the manner of our choosing. Replete with all the moral inconcruiences and dilemmas that we each experience. And in this country of ours, I have the right to do it, talk about it, and you have the right to not listen.

Ain’t America grand?

By Cemeeli

September 9, 2008 2:57 PM | Link to this

Bre you sound like you got some serious hair going on!!! The Diana Ross look is the for real. when i washed and blow-dried my natural, it wiould take 3 hours to do…then oneday i woke up to a puff on the top of my head after having done my 3.5hr wash and blowdry. I went straight to the salon and got a relaxer. YEP, i’m a quitter!

lol @ WiseDiva

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 2:58 PM | Link to this

@Staceye

The point is that it was her choice…according to her site she has completed her BA…and she has learned 2 languages…it is what she wanted to do…be a porn star…and she is truly not feeling any sorry for herself…she is her own boss…she owns many of her rights to things she does…so hey…let it be…it obviously is for her…and she is not without demand for her services…what can I say…to each his/her own.

By Chink

September 9, 2008 2:59 PM | Link to this

cemeeli

Actually I buy it because it is more easy on my hair (not too much chemicals) …its not that strong. I don’t think that we are talking about the same thing..It also helps with frizz I buy it at Sephora for 60 beans so its pretty expensive… but it doesnt make your hair straight like Indian I think I know what you are talking about though….

China when I do go to the Dominicans I always say hey I have sensitive scalp …take it easy with that blow dryer…

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 3:03 PM | Link to this

@WD

You got women of color on a blog…and hair ain’t gonna come up…yeah right…lol.

By abc

September 9, 2008 3:03 PM | Link to this

Pay attention, Dan. It’s not anything to do with supposed entertainment value (or instructive value, if you’re that clueless). It has everything to do with the exploitation of those that become your performing monkeys. If you didn’t pay for them, they’d not degrade themselves by acting in that way for you.

I give up.

By China Doll

September 9, 2008 3:04 PM | Link to this

Does the Dominican blow/press/flat iron hold up during summer and humidity in Atl?

By Chink

September 9, 2008 3:04 PM | Link to this

Staceye

I have seen that one..I went in one time but there was a lot of people there so I left ..I might try it again…

By NEW-MELO

September 9, 2008 3:06 PM | Link to this

Are you going to tell me that apathy toward exploitation is acceptable because of its preponderance?

the person who is apathetic is u abc coz u hollering over the speck in smeone’s one’ eye but ignoring the log in your eye which is the exploitation of kids in thailand,china etc that results from american capitalism but for which u,a republican will gloss over just so u can make money and becoz it aint in the states.I dnt know if u have ever visted a tea plantation in sri-lanka,india or a factory in china or india or africa and witnessed the working conditions of children in some of these corporations hq in usa,britain or germany(i have)..it will make ur stomack sick!U are worrying urself over adults here in the states who voluntarily want to do porn over kids that corporations in the states exploit abroad and the reason is simple..money and when out of sight,out of mind.Tell me which one is a bigger evil? When u start hollering and raising alarm over jobs going overseas,ill consider joining u to ban porn outright….

By Bre'

September 9, 2008 3:09 PM | Link to this

@CD * Cem I have enough hair for about 5 people. I haven’t ever been in a salon where they did not charge me extra. If Buckwheat and D.Ross could have had a child with hair it would be me. There is nothing and I do mean nothing I have not tried to tame it. The Dominicans and Natural Hair salons look at me like I did something wrong for having hair. I’ve had it thinned out twice in my life and it keeps coming back thicker and longer. So I just keep it in a weave, but I’m letting it breath right now.

By Jamoca

September 9, 2008 3:09 PM | Link to this

Cee

Hmmph…sis you actin’ like you wanna be entertained today, esp TODAY?!!… why come? hmmmm

Looka like somebody smellin’ themselves much these days… speshally since her got a wiff of that man right there (keekeekee) … nostalgia can be a BEAST huh, sis?

….shoulda offered you some of this cafe au lait, extra heavy with the chickory …messin’ with me will have yo’ butt closely resembling The Bitter Bish , tho I’m sure you’re not aspiring to be. HA!

hehehehe…

By Cemeeli

September 9, 2008 3:11 PM | Link to this

Ah, Jamoca with all that hair. Please tell me how your rolling in the sweet breeze sun, and it stays in tact?

By NEW-MELO

September 9, 2008 3:12 PM | Link to this

C tha 1 i did a move on my lady over the weekend and she said where u get that from..for a sec, i was tongue tied but told her from the show…maynnnnne,my dizzle went hard diamong coz of that manouvre.

mamba, i dont need the money, i need her…we arent shot of money.Tha simple example is how couples and men with no power in the home lose the battle.Thats why men in america are screwd.My wife is lucky coz i put her back in the lane when she catches the america woman bug smetimes…glad she listens……and i aint dropping my porn sub abc coz it flavors our marriage!!

By Chink

September 9, 2008 3:15 PM | Link to this

China

I think it holds up …but your hair will revert if you sweat….in the hot humidity can you not sweat? That was my major fuss when my hair was natural…and I sweat so it became a pain keeping up especially the longer it became …eventually you begin to like ponytails.

But I think you should try them my hair is wavy curly and they were able to roller set it …you should be alright.

By 2CPTG

September 9, 2008 3:16 PM | Link to this

Random Thought (shoulda known it was comin’)………

listening to all the rationale, for and against porn, and that’s its a personal choice, whether exploitative, or not……why folks hate on pimps? just askin…..

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 3:17 PM | Link to this

@abc

I do not disagree with any of your points… especially as a mother…they are indeed valid…but I have just learned that some things are the way that they are…and I am just glad that I do not have to make choices contingent on those options…but the world we live in is about pro/con to everything…and I guess ppl will continue to make choices about things based upon their own perception of reality…again, I do not watch porn flicks and that is how I support my opinions about them.

By China Doll

September 9, 2008 3:18 PM | Link to this

Chink

In my hair care quest I came across that relaxer. So you are pleased with the results? I also checked out the price. I think you can order it online for 50. One Dominician shop that I came across does use it bout 75 for the relaxer.

By abc

September 9, 2008 3:19 PM | Link to this

Hey, if you don’t get it, you don’t get it. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 3:25 PM | Link to this

See now y’all talking about relaxers and such…you gonna make Blue come back on here calling y’all out for using ebonics…lol…cuz he sure won’t know what that means…why the talking about relaxers…you mean valium…or do they mean recliners…and what does that have to do with hair…hair does not relax…lol

By NEW-MELO

September 9, 2008 3:26 PM | Link to this

morality..abc, u married or shaking??

By Jamoca

September 9, 2008 3:28 PM | Link to this

Cee

…actually a roll n’ set gives me the best “act right” in this weather and the best spirals (esp if/when it’s windy out) that last until I wash them out after a couple of weeks, love em!…that is up unitl my lil’moca wants to play in them, *she tries to act as if she knows what she’s doing, it’s hilarious…lol!

By i'm swiss

September 9, 2008 3:28 PM | Link to this

“If you didn’t pay for them, they’d not degrade themselves by acting in that way for you.”

If my employer didn’t pay me, I wouldn’t work for them — does that mean I’m being exploited?

I mean I can understand that some may find porn unsavory, but to each his own. As long as we’re talking about adults, I just can’t see any of these performers as exploited victims. They’re making a decision to do what they do. If they didn’t want to do it — nobody’s stopping them from doing something else with their lives.

Oh, and comparing porn to slavery? Puhleeze….

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 3:30 PM | Link to this

@abc

It use to bother me too about sexually exploitative stuff…until I realized that a lot of ppl in that industry choose to be in it…and who am I to tell them what to do…not my choice nor my chosen battle…and it took me awhile to comprehend that someone would actually want to be a porn star.

By Cemeeli

September 9, 2008 3:32 PM | Link to this

Chink i think i will try that soy perm. The vitale life and body relaxer is burning a sistah’s head up!!! Plus, i don’t get them as often.

By C tha 1

September 9, 2008 3:35 PM | Link to this

Are porn stars exploited? Only if they allow themselves to be … shoot I have a hard time thinking some strippers are exploited as well especially if they have the opportunity to pull in double my monthly salary in a week. But what do I know I’m just a dude

By abc

September 9, 2008 3:35 PM | Link to this

The comparison was between offshore clothing manufacture and slavery, you’re going to have to read and comprehend on at least a 10th grade level to keep up, swiss.

Melo, I’m not wasting any more typing with you on this topic. Frankly, I think you must be retarded or something.

m’karyl, whatever allows your acceptance of whatever, I guess.

By Chink

September 9, 2008 3:42 PM | Link to this

China

Yes I am pleased because my main thing is manageability and frizz frizz frizz! While I have never been on a regimine of using a relaxer monthly…I use 1/2 relaxer approx every 6 months…so I am not spending $60x12…oh boy.

I also do my own hair most of the time …and made some mistakes too :)

blond highlights…broke some hair off …smh should of known buying it from cvs and all…should of went to ulta…

By Cemeeli

September 9, 2008 3:45 PM | Link to this

….looking around while everyone is going on about why the porn stars choose to flip it. I been waiting to ask dis right here!…

@ 2C - Who you say that Janet gurl, resembles?

that, PoppaG say i can instigate my way into fun…lol.

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 3:47 PM | Link to this

@abc

Well I ain’t paying those ppl’s bills…so who am I to say what a consenting and willing adult should or should not do????…ain’t my place…now if someone came to me and said that would like for me to help them find a more mainstream option for renumerative compensation because they wanted out of that industry but did not know of any options…then I would be there to help them move on that…otherwise, I can not legislate other ppl’s choices but I will advocate for the desire to make a change.

By Dan

September 9, 2008 3:50 PM | Link to this

@abc

To my mind, the same free will that allows me to choose my job, how I live my life, and other choices, is the same free will that I ascribe to people that choose the porn industry as a profession.

I will grant you that some of it is desperation, degredation, and emblamatic of some pshchological issues.

However, I am neither qualified or concerned enough with the life of others for it to really matter. All I can ever do when I disagree with someone or their choices in life is pray for them and for myself.

And I tend to think that that is enough…

By NEW-MELO

September 9, 2008 3:51 PM | Link to this

I’m not wasting any more typing with you on this topic. Frankly, I think you must be retarded or something well,once u start getting below the belt, we knw the argument is won..heck a serial home shaker like urself wants to preach to us on morality….put a ring on that wman u shake with and then cme back with better moral credentials…..

By Chink

September 9, 2008 3:53 PM | Link to this

I can not legislate other ppl’s choices but I will advocate for the desire to make a change.

I couldnt agree more!

By AmazonRed

September 9, 2008 3:53 PM | Link to this

it’s not about the entertainment value of it, it’s about the exploitation of the so-called “entertainers”. If you didn’t pay for them, they’d not degrade themselves by acting in that way for you.

I agree with this. abc, I know you were the biggest opponent of the whole pole dancing class thing, but the above is reason why I can do it for fun, but will not be up in a strip club supporting it. Sounds silly, but makes since to me. LOL

No judgement of anyone who choses to strip as a profession, but I can chose what I want to support with my paycheck.

By Blue_Kolla

September 9, 2008 3:55 PM | Link to this

Mkaryl …you gonna make Blue come back on here calling y’all out for using ebonics…lol…cuz he sure won’t know what that means…why the talking about relaxers…you mean valium…or do they mean recliners…and what does that have to do with hair…hair does not relax…lol

Get on down the line slim. I’m a bit ignorant to a lot of female issues, but I know about some hair, especially how to detect the weave.

Cee We’re straight, but I have to keep the screwdriver handy. These youngin’s come with a lot of loose screws that constantly need tightening. SMH

By Dan

September 9, 2008 3:55 PM | Link to this

@MK

If I didn’t have political aspirations for later in life, I’d be in porn right now.

And no, I wasn’t abused that I remember…

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

September 9, 2008 3:58 PM | Link to this

I forgot…Melo likes a spineless woman who allows herself to be told what do to!

M’Karyl I agree its her body and her life….I just think it’s disgusting though.

Bre I too wear a weave sometimes to let my hair rest from the heat styling and because I work out and dance my hair sweats and requires constant wash and blow. So it helps not to have to do it for 2 months at a time. My hair is healthy and long for it.

By Leggs

September 9, 2008 3:59 PM | Link to this

DING!!!! It’s on!

By i'm swiss

September 9, 2008 4:00 PM | Link to this

Sorry for the confusion, abc… but, in reality, you did ask us to suppose that the exploitation of porn was analogous to that of of-shoring of jobs, & then proceeded to equate that slavery, et al. But maybe you’re right — if I had only finished 10th grade I might not have made that (apparently unintended) correlation.

Sheesh.

By NEW-MELO

September 9, 2008 4:01 PM | Link to this

and abc,its also funny tho that in my lyfe,some of the most bible knowledgeable folks i have knwn(men), were the worst pervets behind closed doors….

By China Doll

September 9, 2008 4:02 PM | Link to this

Thanks for the advice and recommendations…I will keep you’ll posted on my hair quest.

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 4:03 PM | Link to this

@BK*

Here let me help you out…you are Blue Kolla…got that..the was a poster here today called Blue..complained about the use of ebonics on this site…not you, someone else using the name *Blue…are you on the rihgt page now sugah…lol

By Wise Diva

September 9, 2008 4:04 PM | Link to this

I do not resemble any porn stars, well, not in the face, I don’t think, I do thumping Mr.2

By Poppa Grande

September 9, 2008 4:04 PM | Link to this

Cee

Well, at least there is only an hour left, so if it gets out of hand.

As far as porngoes

I am no God, therefore, I have neither a Heaven nor a hell in which to place someone. I am not gonna judge anyone for doing what is necessary to survive.

If you get on the exploitive soap box then, most of the stuff that we american consume should be considered a product of exploitation.

Most stuff that comes from the Communist China, and other places like that exploit children and many don’t have a choice really to do it. How about exploiting the people in India that won’t ask for the benefits and such that American do. They will work for less pay than we do, and countries move their call centers, assembly plants, etc, there to exploit them.

You have to denounce that stuff as well. Wrong is wrong. Not just because you don’t like it.

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 4:05 PM | Link to this

@Staceye I agree its her body and her life….I just think it’s disgusting though.…exactly…and I ain’t paying her bills…I pay mine…and I ain’t in porm movies.

By AmazonRed

September 9, 2008 4:05 PM | Link to this

And no, I wasn’t abused that I remember…

Dan, didn’t you state on the blog that you lost your virginity as a pre-teen?

By NEW-MELO

September 9, 2008 4:06 PM | Link to this

i like them in all shades mamba,college educated,sexxy,brown,black …heck and sassy too ..there is only one denominator…my wang is tha bomb….admit and just suck it baby……thats what brings my wman back…if she goes,its okay,ill get one of u on the blog,trust me…

By Chink

September 9, 2008 4:07 PM | Link to this

Uh Dan

That very comment can cause your nomination

The candidate used to blog on a AJC blog for dating willing to do porn during our economic downturn back in 2008 under the assumed blog name Dan

By Leggs

September 9, 2008 4:08 PM | Link to this

WOW, I have never worn a weave, wig (only at dance recital), and I have never had braids in my hair.

By C tha 1

September 9, 2008 4:11 PM | Link to this

^5 Poppa Grande!! That’s whats up bruh!

By abc

September 9, 2008 4:11 PM | Link to this

My apologies, I ought to stick to the topic and ought not refer to posters in particular. Sorry!

By NEW-MELO

September 9, 2008 4:12 PM | Link to this

that you lost your virginity as a pre-teen? these blog wmen dont play,they have the latest cobweb and bones-in-the-closet detectors…….

By Foots

September 9, 2008 4:16 PM | Link to this

I have done really well to stay out of this one. But melo coming down on abc for shacking just makes me chuckle…

By Cemeeli

September 9, 2008 4:17 PM | Link to this

Blue the older they get the more they “smell themselves” right?

So at what age you think will the lilguy prolly get a peck at a porn anything?

dats alright PoppaG, 2C chooses to igg me…

…first lemme cold stamp this:

I have neither a Heaven nor a hell in which to place someone. I am not gonna judge anyone for doing what is necessary to survive.

Wise add one more thump to Mr. 2.

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 4:17 PM | Link to this

@abc

You adamantly stuck to your grounds amongst ppl who also had very strong opinions on the subject…that in and of itself is not a bad thing…some subjects are just prone to extreme views…not much middle and almost no end for disagreeing…and porn, like prostitution, abortion, euthanisia…to name a few…is just another one of those subjects…peace

By m'karyl

September 9, 2008 4:20 PM | Link to this

Ciao peeps…manana

By Tazzee

September 9, 2008 4:21 PM | Link to this

Wrong is wrong. Not just because you don’t like it.

Amen!

By abc

September 9, 2008 4:22 PM | Link to this

Fine, fine. Next time you watch your little sister getting 3 holed on a DVD so that she can feed her kids and pay the rent, don’t consider that your patronage contributes to her exploitation. Consider instead that she’s there of her own free will, and as long as there are children in sweat shops in China, anything goes.

Oh, not your little sister, you say? How about your little brother, then? Why not? Porn seems perfectly acceptable to you, even an enhancement to your lives, apparently.

By Cemeeli

September 9, 2008 4:25 PM | Link to this

Gotdanit…melo…putting folks under the bus today! Lol…oh my.

By Poppa Grande

September 9, 2008 4:25 PM | Link to this

So at what age you think will the lilguy prolly get a peck at a porn anything?

Heck, my best friend and I found his dad’s Playboys magazines when we were playing in his dad’s garage. We were 8 years old. You really had to look for it then. Now, you can find it on demand (if you got cable), computer, and magazines.

By Dan

September 9, 2008 4:28 PM | Link to this

@ARed

Yes, ma’am I did.

While she was older and our first interaction got her shunned. (Part of it was the location the act took place and part her age vs. mine.)

But in retrospect, I enjoyed it, we interacted again later in life, so was it really abuse?

By Wise Diva

September 9, 2008 4:30 PM | Link to this

LOL, I love it when abc, goes all The Practice on us, he argues his case in such an engaging way.

By IslandGirl

September 9, 2008 4:31 PM | Link to this

I’m Johnny come lately, but I agree with abc…it is just nasty and disgraceful. I understand we all have rights to what type of life we want to live, but as Tazzee said it, wrong is just wrong.

I had my first peek at porn in the 11th grade, and never had an interest to watch another tape (no dvds at that time :-) since. It is fake and disgusting…

By the way, hope everyone is doing well.

By C tha 1

September 9, 2008 4:32 PM | Link to this

If my sister was getting it in every whole possible on a DVD because she can’t pay her bills, guess what … I’m gonna intervene before that happens and give her some money. Simple. If my relationship with my sister is so strained that my opinion of her doing porn doesn’t matter, then WE have DEEPER ISSUES!

By NEW-MELO

September 9, 2008 4:34 PM | Link to this

havent we all guys been very liberal in our sexxual exploits at sme point in our youth,others are still going stroong now but im sure none wants same game they ran on girls to be duplicated on their kids/kin…..personal responsibilty is key..but the selfish intersts in us will delight in pleasures we dnt want fosterd on our luved ones..its human nature..

By Cemeeli

September 9, 2008 4:34 PM | Link to this

PoppaG…sigh…he’s 9, and prolly seen some tyts and azz straight nude?!

yea, I have cable w/ restricted channels. NO internet unless im nearby.

By Poppa Grande

September 9, 2008 4:34 PM | Link to this

Porn seems perfectly acceptable to you, even an enhancement to your lives, apparently.

No my point is that you should denounce all of it. Not just what you deem as unacceptable.

Truth be told, the sweat shops affect more people here because those are jobs that people here could use.

So, if the CEO of Levis Strauss can pack up leave San Francisco and go to China for cheaper wages, so that company can survive so can someone that doesn’t want to be on welfare or in the projects.

At least it is legal.

BTW, I have had plenty of friends that have danced. One of my friends families own Club Nikki and the Gentlemen Club. So, yes, I have seen the exploitation. However, I have also seen those who used it to get elsewhere.

By Leggs

September 9, 2008 4:34 PM | Link to this

abc, I was going to stay out of this, but why it has to be someone’s little sister or bro. How come it can be YOUR little sister or bro? Really, quite a few adults veer away from the morals enstilled in them by their parents. Hard times brings out the beast. It’s up to the person by the end of the day. It amazes me when people say this will never happen to me, or not in my neighborhood. You don’t know unless you have a way to see in the future. And in your case abc, unless you’re an only child I see you not pointing the finger at yourself. Not trying to pick an argument with you, just curious!

By NEW-MELO

September 9, 2008 4:37 PM | Link to this

Tazzee is oral wrong too,from whence u stand…???

By AmazonRed

September 9, 2008 4:38 PM | Link to this

But in retrospect, I enjoyed it, we interacted again later in life, so was it really abuse?

Dan - One of these days I’ma get you to understand that a question mark at the end of my sentence is just that, a question. LOL. The question mark means I’d need more information before making a conclusion.

Was is really abuse? I don’t think its really up to me to decide based on the limited information I have. The “retrospect” part is interesting to me tho. Tis all.

By Cemeeli

September 9, 2008 4:41 PM | Link to this

Hi IslandG i’m well. i’m clock killin’ right now. How are you? Like you, i seen footage of porn and thought, 1) that has got to hurt!…And naw i don’t/didn’t want no parts.

By Blue_Kolla

September 9, 2008 4:43 PM | Link to this

Mkaryl …are you on the rihgt page now sugah…lol

Two part har-mony. TWO PART har-mony.

Cee So at what age you think will the lilguy prolly get a peck at a porn anything?

Wouldn’t surprise me if he ain’t already starred in one. These kids today are speed-ballin’ when it comes to the sex game. That’s probably why they’re so hard-headed.

By C tha 1

September 9, 2008 4:46 PM | Link to this

Question: If your sister happens to find their way into porn do you disown or excommunicate them? What if she works in a strip club? Lets not make it a close blood relation like sister … how about a cousin … better yet your 2nd cousin you don’t speak to all the time?

If it is such a shame, what will you do to help your neighbor…or blood?

By Poppa Grande

September 9, 2008 4:46 PM | Link to this

PoppaG…sigh…he’s 9, and prolly seen some tyts and azz straight nude?!

Maybe, maybe not.

Just make sure that he knows about personal responsibility. Make sure that he understands that there are consequences to his actions, and chances are that he will not ever forget it.

You can’t be with him at all times and places. But your words can be.

By IslandGirl

September 9, 2008 4:49 PM | Link to this

Cee Girl, I’m hanging in. This is a busy time of year for me at work….the way things are right now…that seems to be a good thing.

I see the topic got interesting today. Have a great evening.

By i'm swiss

September 9, 2008 4:49 PM | Link to this

“Next time you watch your little sister getting 3 holed on a DVD so that she can feed her kids and pay the rent, don’t consider that your patronage contributes to her exploitation. Consider instead that she’s there of her own free will…”

That’s exactly how I will and do consider it, because it’s the truth. I’m sorry, but porn is not the only way to feed the kids & pay the rent. There are other options — maybe not options as lucrative, depending on education/skillset — but there are other options.

And just because you wouldn’t want your little sister/brother to do it doesn’t mean it’s exploitation. I wouldn’t want my little sis/bro to deal drugs, either, but if they did, I wouldn’t say they were being exploited. I’d say they made bad choices.

Now, minors are a different story, obviously, but if we’re talking about adults — I just can’t see them as victims.

By Cemeeli

September 9, 2008 4:51 PM | Link to this

In the society we live in now…even when viewing some music video, commercials and magazine ads found at our local markets are borderline porn. Waling my lilman around the mall and oooopss, we’ve gotta passby Victoria Secret’s window….Please!

It’s getting more and more sexually expolitive out here no matter how much folks know/argue we should know better. Just do better at blocking it as much as possible when you have kiddos.

By AmazonRed

September 9, 2008 4:52 PM | Link to this

You can’t be with him at all times and places. But your words can be.

PG - Amen. I still have much of my parents nuggets of wisdom ringing in my head.

By Cemeeli

September 9, 2008 4:54 PM | Link to this

Blue/PoppaG i don’t think he has, but you know me, sho’ nuff gonna ask!…not today, but i figure out when.

By Blue_Kolla

September 9, 2008 4:54 PM | Link to this

$ Question: So is everyone going home and throwing out their collections?

By IslandGirl

September 9, 2008 4:57 PM | Link to this

C tha 1

Like the old saying, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink. Well in some instances you can try your best to help out a person, but sometimes all the help in the world can go in vain.

I definitely believe in helping a person with the resources I have afforded to me, but I will not kill myself to save you…unless you were my child. That type of sacrifice is to be considered.

By abc

September 9, 2008 4:59 PM | Link to this

If it was my relation that had fallen into work in the sex trade, I’d offer them a place in my home, help them to find suitable employment, and start to heal the hurt caused.

If it were one of my own and I was unable to do that due to hardship, I know that one of my brothers would pick up the slack and do the same thing.

As my kids, nephews and nieces grow up, I know that they’ll be the same way.

By Poppa Grande

September 9, 2008 4:59 PM | Link to this

And just because you wouldn’t want your little sister/brother to do it doesn’t mean it’s exploitation. I wouldn’t want my little sis/bro to deal drugs, either, but if they did, I wouldn’t say they were being exploited. I’d say they made bad choices.

That’s my stance right there. I used more words than this, but this is where I stand.

I never said that I liked it personally. But, my opinion and 1.75 gets me a one-way ticket on MARTA.

I just say that there aren’t good exploitations and bad ones. They are all exploitations. If you condemn one condemn them all.

By Wise Diva

September 9, 2008 5:01 PM | Link to this

It would be wrong to part with Mr. Marcus, it was a gift

By Wise Diva

September 9, 2008 5:02 PM | Link to this

Have a great evening folks! thanks for hanging with today’s topic choice :)

By Leggs

September 9, 2008 5:02 PM | Link to this

Goodnight everyone!

Try to be nice to all you encounter, it will surely come back to you in a positive way

If need be clean your glasses and keep it moving!

By Poppa Grande

September 9, 2008 5:03 PM | Link to this

BK

Believe it or not, I don’t have a collection.

I’ve always felt that sex is not a spectator sport.

I may have ho3d around, but I never had a collection of my own. Really only time were the Playboys in the friend’s garage

Playing ball, having girlfriends and working growing up took all my time and money.

By Dan

September 9, 2008 5:04 PM | Link to this

@ARed

Put it this way, “they” (church folks) called it abuse. I was too young to really think about it that way, I just like “Who Hooo!”

Like I said, looking back, I enjoyed it so, I’m not upset or scarred or anything. Pretty well adjusted in fact. So no harm done.

@abc

I don’t have an issue with you debating your views (in fact I enjoy informed debate). Realize that I nor anyone has to believe what you do and vice versa. We as, always, are all good.

By Dan

September 9, 2008 5:05 PM | Link to this

@WD

Whether this makes the blog or not, we should talk you and I.

By AmazonRed

September 9, 2008 5:09 PM | Link to this

I was too young to really think about it that way

Dan, it could be argued you were too young to think about it rationally either way. In any case, I’m sure professionals could make a case for you being scarred or not scarred.

No matter, it was just a question. Your life is your life, you can’t go back and change things.

By Poppa Grande

September 9, 2008 5:10 PM | Link to this

abc

I know people who did all the things that you mentioned, and the kids (college kids) still went into the adult entertainment business.

Some of the kids wanted their own home. Didn’t want to live under anyone else’s rules, and stuff like that. The kids did it to get their own independence.

Did we like it? No. However, one of the kids danced at the Blue Flame while attending Spelman. She is now a news reporter in North Carolina. She used it to get where she wanted to get.

The family wasn’t happy at all. She darn near got cut off, especially once word got around the family’s church and such. It wasn’t pretty at all. But she used it, just like she was getting used.