Misadventures in Atlanta

By Dan

October 7, 2008 8:50 AM | Link to this

I love for women to approach me.

It takes the pressure off, paradoxically.

The smoothest way that I’ve been hit on is someone sending me drinks, it took about two before I realized that the lady bringing me the drinks, wasn’t the waitress, she was the one buying them.

Needless to say the favors were returned and we had a really good time.

But what always strikes me as interesting is that really beautiful when bemoan their singlehood and the lack of approach by men, yet often don’t take the initiative.

By C tha 1

October 7, 2008 8:58 AM | Link to this

I don’t mind approaching a woman, but I am flattered whenever the opposite happens. I’m pretty easy as a matter of fact…she buy me a drank…I’ll dance and not act stuck up. Hell I’ll even put out on the first date! haha:)

By Leggs

October 7, 2008 9:00 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone…I see nothing wrong w/taking the initiatve and approaching a man. I’ve done it and will continue to do it. Don’t believe they always have to be the pursuer. Men love to be flattered and complimented just as much as women. Confidence in one self is a beautiful jewel!

By Dan

October 7, 2008 9:07 AM | Link to this

I personally equate a woman approaching a man and a woman that is assertive and unabashedly (pre- or post- codial) conversant about her sexuality as confidence.

It just says to me that she comfortable with all aspects of her life and herself, so much so, that she willing -if not eager - to let a potential mate know how he would fit into her life.

That isht right there ^^ is sexy to me.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 9:32 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone.

Nope, I don’t approach men. I do feel like it upsets the natural order of things. I start doing the things you are supposed to do, then you get mad down the road when it seems I’m the one running the show.

Besides, the type of men I wish to attract are the ones who wouldn’t prefer the woman approach anyway.

I will strike up random conversatons with men while I’m out, not for the purpose of trying to holla. I will give off the vibe that it’s okay to approach, if he’s interested.

Maybe if I never got approached, I’d feel differently.

By The Truth

October 7, 2008 9:39 AM | Link to this

Morning folks.

I was in a store and a chick walked up and said she was trying to buy her brother a jacket and he was about my size. She had her hand on my arm and asked me to help her find one. Me, being the nice person I am jumped right in and started looking. Thats when she admitted she was fibbing and she just wanted to talk with me. We both laughed a lot and enjoyed the moment.

I have a few neighbors and friends that ask me out for lunch or bake for me or something and it’s still refreshing. Just break bread and enjoy the company. Sometimes I simp out and ask them out too. LOL

By M.

October 7, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this

I think every guy wants to be approached, but I think Im good either way. I think guys do still like the challenge of trying to get a woman to go from swapping numbers to the next level and making something out of nothing. I think there needs to be a balance also because some people may say the person who asked should pay, in this case on paper it would be the woman but then if its the first date, technically the guy should pay. But she must be interested if she asked you out so just go with it.

By Leggs

October 7, 2008 9:44 AM | Link to this

ARed, approaching a man and “running the show” are two completely different things. I too believe in the natural order of things, but nothing wrong w/stirring the pot sometimes and approaching first!

By Sassy

October 7, 2008 9:44 AM | Link to this

It worked/went both ways for me and my guy. We were working in the same office building. We’d often run into each other outside of the building and always chatted each other up. I knew he was attracted to me but he wouldn’t make the first move. I, attracted to him as well, decided to ask him out on a lunch date but weeks would go by without setting a ‘date’ as it were.

About a month goes by and still no ‘date’ I jokingly as him if he was gay. He chuckled and said, “No”. Ok, are you married? Again, “No”. His response: “I’ve just been recently widowered”.

I offered my condolences and decided at that point to totally back off the ‘date’.

We continued to see run into each other at the office, always stopping for friendly chit chat. Fast forward 4 months…He asks me for that lunch date. We’ve been together over a year now and things are awesome.

So, YES!!! I have no problem being the ‘hunter’, and I found men like to be approached, just be honest and interject a little humor.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 9:45 AM | Link to this

Last week I was walking to my car after this fundraiser in Atlantic Station. I was on one side of the street and these two guys were on the other. One of the guys, literally stopped in his tracks and just started to stare. I slowed down, but kept walking. He crossed the street and said how he just had to meet me, yada yada yada. We had a nice convo right there on the sidewalk. Physcially, he was what I liked in man, and he could hold a conversation. Score! We exchanged numbers. I gave him mine and he called me so that I would have his. At the end, he said something to the effect of “I hope to hear from you.” I haven’t called, and he hasn’t either. Just goes to show you that some dudes talk a good game but ain’t about action. Next!

Truth, you just gonna ignore my email huh? tapping toe LOL

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 9:51 AM | Link to this

ARed, approaching a man and “running the show” are two completely different things.

Leggs, it all starts somewhere.

Didn’t say anything was “wrong” with it. But it’s not for me.

By Poppa Grande

October 7, 2008 9:58 AM | Link to this

Is it upsetting the natural order of things to ask a guy out?

No. I don’t think that a woman approaching upset the natural order of things. There are other things that really do that such as Fatherless homes and things like that.

Growing up we had those Sadie Hawkins dances (where the female asks the guy out). It was refreshing and also allows the female to see what a male deals with in making those type of decisions. For the most part, females seemed to be more grateful toward being aproached by man after that experience.

Although, I don’t know any woman that has been turned away by a man. So, ultimately, the decision to continue still stays in woman’s court. Other than the initiating the contact, things really stay the same.

As far as smooth approaches go

I’ve had an experience like Truth where the female acted as if she needed me as reference for her brother’s clothes. Heck, it may have been the same woman…LOL. I doubt it unless you were in Cincy around 1994…See I still remember it like it was yesterday.

By Leon Phelps

October 7, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this

Usually the women who do approach me are absolutely the furthest thing from what I am attracted to… But in the rare case where an intelligent and half way good looking woman does approach, I love it.

By New Rell Order

October 7, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this

Sometimes I simp out and ask them out too. LOL

LOL….I GOT THE SHOT HOMIE

i have approached and been approached several times….i dont mind either way…just want the interaction to go smooth…lol

hell i got approached the weekend…very interesting interaction to say the least…lol…my honesty got me in trouble

By Poppa Grande

October 7, 2008 10:03 AM | Link to this

I think there needs to be a balance also because some people may say the person who asked should pay, in this case on paper it would be the woman but then if its the first date, technically the guy should pay. But she must be interested if she asked you out so just go with it.

There goes overanalyzing (yesterdays topic). Talk to the person and you two can figure it out. O worst case scenario be prepared to pay for it.

By Bob

October 7, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this

Old cliché’ but it works here……only thing constant is change itself. These days and times, things have definitely changed as it relates to Male/Female relationships. With so many divorced and single women over 40 it shouldn’t strike you as strange that women approach men for just about anything. Keep in mind that some men may not even know that you are interested and it may take a little or a lot of ‘prodding’ on the woman’s part. In any case it’s very flattering for a woman to invite, speak, touch etc. with a man that she is interested in and should work more times than not. Those men that wouldn’t or don’t appreciate this are not worth your time anyway so keep moving and for those women that have never tried this approach ask one of your female friends that has tried this approach what her success rate is…..I’m sure you will be surprised.

By Andy P.

October 7, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this

I think there can be a happy medium of the two. As stated before, men do like to be complimented or flattered just as women. I suppose it’s really HOW one is approached…and we all know that varies person to person. Sure that might negate the whole “natural process”, but who really says that it has to be normal for a man to pursue a woman. If you’re interested, go for it. In the grand scheme of things, you’re looking out for your own happiness, so why NOT express interest in someone that you may like? Life’s way too short to think “what if?”.

By Leggs

October 7, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this

Ok, you’re right. You didn’t say anything “wrong” with it. Gotcha! I too met what seemed like a very nice man. We talked for a while right in the parking lot of the beauty supply store. He’s coming out the barber shop. He gives me his number. When I got home I decided to call him so he can program my number in. We chatted a little more. He said he looks forward to hearing from me, and I say I too am looking forward to hearing from you as well. Two weeks go by and I call simply to say hello. He’s cordial as he should be, but haven’t heard anything else. I won’t call anymore, but in cases like these it’s definitely hard to determine when you’re being a pest by being the caller and he not calling once. So, to me the best thing is to back off. If he wants to speak w/me he will. It’s not in my nature to force anything.

By Bob

October 7, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this

Old cliché’ but it works here……only thing constant is change itself. These days and times, things have definitely changed as it relates to Male/Female relationships. With so many divorced and single women over 40 it shouldn’t strike you as strange that women approach men for just about anything. Keep in mind that some men may not even know that you are interested and it may take a little or a lot of ‘prodding’ on the woman’s part. In any case it’s very flattering for a woman to invite, speak, touch etc. with a man that she is interested in and should work more times than not. Those men that wouldn’t or don’t appreciate this are not worth your time anyway so keep moving and for those women that have never tried this approach ask one of your female friends that has tried this approach what her success rate is…..I’m sure you will be surprised.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

those women that have never tried this approach ask one of your female friends that has tried this approach what her success rate is…..I’m sure you will be surprised.

Halle Berry told me the ish doesn’t work! So she gave up and started dating white guys. LOL

By SexyCool

October 7, 2008 10:12 AM | Link to this

have approached guys…have asked guys out…have seduced guys…have not put too much thought into it…

it was what i wanted to do at the time…so, i did it…

and…that’s all there was too it…

i can’t think of any of the zaniest pickup lines (lol) that i’ve used…and there have been many…but usually…it’s something like…i’m looking at you, you’re looking at me, so seems as if we should be doing more than looking at each other…

By Dan

October 7, 2008 10:18 AM | Link to this

it was what i wanted to do at the time…so, i did it…

^^See what I mean about sexy???

i’m looking at you, you’re looking at me, so seems as if we should be doing more than looking at each other…

^^This isht right there, you wouldn’t have been to finish the ing in “looking”

By abc

October 7, 2008 10:18 AM | Link to this

I’ve always been nice to women that have asked me out, but seriously — for men, all that indicates is a casual good time,and probability of easy and recreational sex. If that’s all it’s about, then fine, but if you hold yourself in higher regard, I’d advise against approaching a man first.

By Poppa Grande

October 7, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

Halle Berry told me the ish doesn’t work!

I wouldn’t take any advice from her. She has some major issues. DJ says that she was really out there and he was married to her. So, I wouldn’t use her as a point of reference for anything.

By New Rell Order

October 7, 2008 10:22 AM | Link to this

One of the guys, literally stopped in his tracks and just started to stare.

—and I still want to see!!!!

By Leon Phelps

October 7, 2008 10:22 AM | Link to this

I was talking to a woman I met recently about a similar topic. And this part about exchanging numbers came up. And I was told that I am the type of guy who can drive a woman crazy because I will hold a conversation with a woman (at a bar or restaurant or club, etc…) and not ask for her #. My thing is that I can hold a conversation with anybody no matter what you look like, but there has to be a few things there to make me want to get a woman’s number. 1. I have to enjoy the conversation. 2. I have to feel that she is at least a little bit interested, and not just talking to hear herself speak. 3. I have to be in a certain mood to want to get a #… I mean sometimes its just not the day…

So ladies… what do you do if a guy does spark up a conversation and you enjoy his company, yet he does not go for the digits? Do you let him walk away or remind him that he forgot something?

By SexyCool

October 7, 2008 10:22 AM | Link to this

once…a guys asked me if he could buy me a drink…i asked him if he knew how to scramble eggs…he said why?…i said cause that’s what i’m going to need you to cook me for breakfast in the moring…i kid, i kid…

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 10:22 AM | Link to this

but if you hold yourself in higher regard, I’d advise against approaching a man first.

LOL. My kind of guy.

By Tazzee

October 7, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this

Morning Folks!

I’m with ARed in that I don’t approach guys in the hopes of getting a date. I have no problem striking up a conversation with any random person - male or female.

If I see a guy I’m interested in then I’ll try to establish (and maintain) eye contact, flash a smile or use some other method to let him know that I’m interested, but I don’t make the first move.

By Blow ME...HI HATERS!!

October 7, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this

Good Morning

Shut up Dan

On topic- Blow is old fashion when it comes to dating on certain issues. I like to be approached by the man. It’s just the nature of the beast. Men are hunters and stragetic players by nature….so I’ll let him hunt me out. I believe MEN have roles and WOMEN have roles…

A role of a man is to hunt and find…the woman is to wait to be found. Men initiate marriage. Not WOMEN. My honest belief

A man who finds a wife finds a good thing. So I’ll lay back in the cut to let him find me.

Whats for me is for me. No matter how much I scream, beg, cry. Whatever is suppose to be will be mines. Bottomline..If it does not happen no sweat, maybe another time.

Don’t get me wrong…I’ll let him know when I’m open of course. Smile, laugh…be receptive. But me saying

“Hello I’m Blow you look hot tonight….” Nope…Won’t do it. I’ll wait and look…but WILL NOT make a move.

By Leon Phelps

October 7, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this

abc I disagree with your 10:18 post partially The way I have experienced it it does not matter who approaches first. Women are good at letting you know what they want you to know from the start. Even if a woman approaches you can tell by her approach (or shortly thereafter) if she just wants to have a little fun or if she is looking for a long term relationship. Its up to the dude to be honest and reply accordingly… We all know that if a dude is just in it for the draws we will do whatever we think it takes to get them no matter who approaches first.

By The Truth

October 7, 2008 10:29 AM | Link to this

Ared I havent received anything. Send it again. You know I’d never overlook you. And I know why that cat stopped in his tracks. LOL

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 10:30 AM | Link to this

what do you do if a guy does spark up a conversation and you enjoy his company, yet he does not go for the digits?

Leon, I take it for what it is. Just a conversation. I would hope any guy I talked to in a social setting wouldn’t be presumptuous enough to think I’m interested.

Bottom line, I believe men are simple and if he really WANTS to get to know you, he’ll make moves to get it done.

Rell, I figured he was staring because I had toilet paper stuck to my shoe or something. ;-)

By Leggs

October 7, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this

SexyCool, you’re funny, but get where you’re coming from.

LPhelps, if all that was going on and he walked away w/o asking for the number, I wouldn’t remind him that he forgot something. He didn’t forget, he didn’t want it! Keep it moving…

By SexyCool

October 7, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this

leon…if we were conversing and you walked away without asking for my number…i would let you walk away if i were not that interested…i also might let you walk away if i was interested depending on whatever else i may have had going on in my life at the time…

in other words…there is such a thing as an OVERSTOCKED stable…lol….

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 10:34 AM | Link to this

PG, I was completely kidding. I know HB, has a host of issues! You would feel bad for her, if she wasn’t so pretty. LOL

Truth, I’ll send it again. Thanks. And I’m telling you, it had to be toilet paper. LOL

By Tazzee

October 7, 2008 10:34 AM | Link to this

Leon Phelps I’d let him walk away with no problems. I’m with you, just because we have good conversation doesn’t mean we have to take it any further.

By New Rell Order

October 7, 2008 10:34 AM | Link to this

I’ve always been nice to women that have asked me out, but seriously — for men, all that indicates is a casual good time,and probability of easy and recreational sex.

NOT TRUE and pretty fluck up to say thats all we think of women that will approach a man….

By MLL

October 7, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this

Hello Everyone, I’ve asked guys out with no problem, I personally don’t see anything wrong with it or going against the order of nature. You see, you’re interested, why not apporached, where’s the confidence or is it rejection that is at stake? There was one that backfire on me, guy told me he’s never had a woman apporach him before so he knew I must be interested in him, well turns out I approached the wrong guy b/c he turned out to be very very sticky soon after, other than him I’ve never had a problem nor do I make it a habit either.

As for asking a guy that I’m dating, done it too…I invite, I pay and the place will be decided by both…we’re both grown folks and it’s fair game on both sides.

By MLL

October 7, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this

Hello Everyone, I’ve asked guys out with no problem, I personally don’t see anything wrong with it or going against the order of nature. You see, you’re interested, why not apporached, where’s the confidence or is it rejection that is at stake? There was one that backfire on me, guy told me he’s never had a woman apporach him before so he knew I must be interested in him, well turns out I approached the wrong guy b/c he turned out to be very very sticky soon after, other than him I’ve never had a problem nor do I make it a habit either.

As for asking a guy that I’m dating, done it too…I invite, I pay and the place will be decided by both…we’re both grown folks and it’s fair game on both sides.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 10:37 AM | Link to this

there is such a thing as an OVERSTOCKED stable…lol

LOL. True that SexyCool. I’m not really trying to put forth real effort right now. Til my situation changes.

I was a day late in calling a divorced guy with a 6 and 3 year old back. He didn’t take that very well. Needless to say, I wasn’t really pressed!

By Poppa Grande

October 7, 2008 10:37 AM | Link to this

if you hold yourself in higher regard, I’d advise against approaching a man first.

I disagree with implication that this statement makes.

There are plenty of women who don’t approach that dont’ hold themselves in a higher regard. As a matter of fact, many non-approacher of either gender don’t approach because of self-esteem issue. Many men & women alike don’t approach because of fear of rejection.

So not approaching a man, does not mean as much about her holding herself in a high regard. It just means that she garnered enough courage to do something different than many other woman. No more no less. You ,too, are overanalyzing. (yesterdays topic)

By MLL

October 7, 2008 10:38 AM | Link to this

So ladies… what do you do if a guy does spark up a conversation and you enjoy his company, yet he does not go for the digits? Leon I would enjoy the convo and leave it at that…great converstion is just that…no need to look or analyze any further.

By New Rell Order

October 7, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

If I see a guy I’m interested in then I’ll try to establish (and maintain) eye contact, flash a smile or use some other method to let him know that I’m interested, but I don’t make the first move.

what do you call flashing a smile and eye contact…..A FIRST MOVE

@ared…guess i am never going to see huh?

@sexycool…i must be on the “do not call list”

By SexyCool

October 7, 2008 10:40 AM | Link to this

once i was set up on a blind date with a guy and was really feeling him so i was turning on all the sexycoolness…i think he was thrown off by me rubbing on them thick muscular thighs…so, he leans over and says, “i don’t do one night stands.”…i was like, “good, cause i won’t be standing up….i plan on laying down…” more laughing and kidding…

By Dan

October 7, 2008 10:42 AM | Link to this

Heeey Blow, hit me up: danbynight@netzero.com

But here’s my thing, and PG hit me with the psychology of it, when you get in the mode to be a “hunter” soon enough, the prey you end up chasing…is the feel of the hunt itself. That is you become addicted to the emotion of the hunt.

I know guys like this. The “hunt” for them is the thing. But for me it isn’t. It’s the “prey” that I’m after so the means and mode to achieve that goal are simple to me.

Truth be told, when the prize or the prey is worth the chase….I’m at it. But if they present themselves..it somehow makes it all the more intriguing to me

By MLL

October 7, 2008 10:44 AM | Link to this

If I see a guy I’m interested in then I’ll try to establish (and maintain) eye contact, flash a smile or use some other method to let him know that I’m interested Tazzee that’s the same as approaching him just sugared up…..You really don’t think he doens’t see you looking? Men are not that simple.

By SexyCool

October 7, 2008 10:45 AM | Link to this

rell…i was tied up when you called…after that…it was night, night…ya know?

By Leon Phelps

October 7, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this

To all the folks who say men should do the askin What’s the difference in a man asking a woman out, and a woman asking a dude out, if the woman makes it obvious that she wants dude to holla? I mean we all know that a lot of women will change up their routine in order to become more visible to a certain guy, such as going to the gym when he will be there or going to the place where he has lunch regularly… at some point don’t the actions of the woman get to a point where its pretty much the same as her asking dude to holla at her?

By abc

October 7, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

Poppa Grande, I don’t mean holding herself in a higher regard as would pertain to being shy or afraid of rejection.

I mean in terms of considering her virtue to be important enough to her to preserve, or whether she’d just want to be a party girl. Hey, party girls can be lots of fun, but nobody marries her until she’s done with all that.

That’s all I’m saying: if you’re only after casual fun and you don’t mind that the man considers you nothing much more than that, with probability of easy recreational sex, then fine. But, if you hold yourself in a higher regard than that, I recommend against it. You’ll be perceived by a man as one not possessed of the kind of virtue(s) to which he’d be willing to commit.

That’s not over-analysis, to me; it’s quite plain and obvious.

By For Real

October 7, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this

but if you hold yourself in higher regard, I’d advise against approaching a man first.

LOL. My kind of guy.

Ared Remember abc likes them barefeet and pregnant too and you must lie alot too and not work and some other stuff too

Oh and I don’t see how you approaching me will somehow change the fact that I am a man and you are a woman.

For Real now removing his belt and popping it like Robin Harris did in House Party 87 or was 1.

By Poppa Grande

October 7, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this

AR

Unfortunately, she is one of the few people that I don’t feel sorry for. I don’t watch her movies anymore. She is not one of my favorite people period. Inner ugliness overshadows outer beauty everytime.

Next

Bottom line, I believe men are simple and if he really WANTS to get to know you, he’ll make moves to get it done.

We are simple, so you are correct there. However, we are sometimes so simple that we miss all of your “hints”. It doesn’t mean that you have to “spread eagle” on some dude’s car for him to get the hint, but some aren’t good at knowing when to ask for the digits or even if it is acceptible.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this

guess i am never going to see huh?

Rell Nah, playa, cuz you get to look at your beautiful wife everyday. You’re straight! :-)

By MLL

October 7, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this

Leon is she showing up in different disguises?? whether or not that’s stalking LOL

By Sidelines

October 7, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this

Morning Bloggers…

LPhelps, So ladies…what do you do if a guy does spark up a conversation and you enjoy his company, yet he does not go for the digits? Do you let him walk away or remind him that he forgot something?

Leggs, LPhelps, if all that was going on and he walked away w/o asking for the number, I wouldn’t remind him that he forgot something. He didn’t forget, he didn’t want it! Keep it moving…

I totally agree with Leggs, Tazzee and Blow on this, if a guy walked away and he doesn’t ask for the number, whats wrong with simply enjoying the moment for what it was and let it go. Nothing worse than running up behind a dude and looking desperate. If he didn’t ask, he wasn’t interested. Just my .02

And, Blow hit the nail on the head with her 10:26post, I totally agree.

By Dan

October 7, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this

While I’m aware of the conceit in this statement…it’s still true…

@Tazzee

I get the stares of women, just walking in my own world everyday and while I appreciate the acknowledgement, if you’re staring past those 3 seconds…I need you to say something.

For me, if you’re just watching me, you’re just watching me. I don’t mind, but if you’re staring to the point of walking into something or someone, why not say something?

I would’ve asked ARed, but I know for her, that’s heresy…

By Riz

October 7, 2008 10:58 AM | Link to this

Of course it’s fine - do you have any idea how uncomfortable it is to approach a woman casually at a club or bar or store when she’s with her friends. You might pay a compliment, ask to buy a drink or just generally start a conversation.

If you stumble, or aren’t what the friends are looking for - you’ll get straight up laughed at. Not politely dismissed laughed at. No respectable man will go through that and nobody deserves to.

So - you’d better learn to approach or Mr. Right will quietly wait until someone else does.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 10:59 AM | Link to this

Ared Remember abc likes them barefeet and pregnant too and you must lie alot too and not work and some other stuff too

For Real, I get to lie and get away with it out the deal too? All that stuff works for me then. I’ll just take work that lying part out with God.

By For Real

October 7, 2008 11:01 AM | Link to this

PG However, we are sometimes so simple that we miss all of your “hints”. Let me take one step further. We or should I say I’m tired of having to decipher 1300 various hints which may or may not apply to that particular chick. You are an adult if you want something open your friggin mouth and say it. I just find it childish that a grown azz women would sit across the room winking and smiling or performing some other body language, instead just saying hey i like dolphins. Besides, I can’t see but shadows after 25ft.

By Leon Phelps

October 7, 2008 11:01 AM | Link to this

some aren’t good at knowing when to ask for the digits or even if it is acceptible. No one is good at this, its always a shot in the dark. You can have the best eye contact, the best conversation, and all that good stuff, but if the other person is just a flirt or is for some other reason not feeling you 100% you will get rejected when you go for the digits. What some are good at is accepting this rejection and keeping it moving to the next one….

And WTF is up with trying to give a guy your email address? It has never happened to me personally but I have been at the scene of the crime and seen random dudes, and my homeboys get an email address wehn they asked for a #… Me personally, would have told her to keep that wack isht to herself… If you not feeling dude just decline the offer… LoL

By Dan

October 7, 2008 11:05 AM | Link to this

@For Real

That 11:01<——-My friggin point exactly!!!!!!!!!!

By New Rell Order

October 7, 2008 11:05 AM | Link to this

i will say this…women are bold these days….i hear everything…..and i pick up on things quick…and i get all type of comments daily because i pretty much chill and stay to myself on the job….which leads to curiosity as to why i am not joining in with the rest of the dudes sweating the local hawt co-worker…feel me…..ya know i get the dayum gurl did you smell him…i wonder what he has on…..nice shoes….as he been working out….its the quite ones you have to worry about…etc etc..all with earshot of me and loud enough for me to hear…and then the giggles when i walk by…

By For Real

October 7, 2008 11:05 AM | Link to this

Oh and ladies what is with the Circle of Hellz that yall form when out at a club? You have to have 5 dudes in order to attack and break the circle but I don’t travel in packs anymore. Besides, my wingman day was over after that one time at band camp.

By For Real

October 7, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this

All that stuff works for me then.

For Real just served abc a hanging curve ball.

Ared Dayummm you are old fashion huh? For Real now buying Ared an old fashion washboard for christmas.

By MELO

October 7, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this

I’m pretty easy as a matter of fact if a woman said thatC,wld ur attitude be favorable…??

conversant about her sexuality as confidence see hw it quickly turned to sexuality??? men will judge u that way….

Just break bread and enjoy the company i wld proly say same thing myself Truth,but there is a whole lot of code in there to decode….

I don’t know any woman that has been turned away by a man confirms exactly where im going with this….Poppe

all that indicates is a casual good time,and probability of easy and recreational sex thank u senior,u are in sync with my conclusion. Ladies,be very careful when u do it,its never a very good look for a long term coz u start with a negative on the score sheet.Then once u and him are talking, its up to you to build ur reputation.The thing is if she approaches me,i categorize her as a random(in ma head)It takes her to convince me thru hw she carries herself that she is a different kind of animal in this.Not an easy if that happens to u and me coz the thing is, i will insist on the horizontal tango quick hit.If u oblige coz u attracted already, u now have an uphill struggle of rebuilding.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this

I just came into about $200 to spend at the Buckhead Life Restaurants. I’m gonna take my boo out for a special dinner. Anyone have some feeback on the following spots? I haven’t been to any of em.

• ATLANTA FISH MARKET
• CHOPS LOBSTER BAR
• KYMA
• NAVA
• PANO’s & PAUL’s
• PRICCI
• VENI VIDI VICI
• BUCKHEAD DINER
• BLUEPOINTE

By Dan

October 7, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

In that John Legend song Dre says:

“See you did, I overheard you tell your girls ‘he can get it’, let’s take a cab, and split it, forget it, I’m kiddin’, we both going to where you livin’ “

My point is, you’re eyes may say “he can git it”, the slow and subtle licking of the lips may indicate it, but unless I’m in the mood to pounce (which these days are few and far between) then you may have missed it (your chance)

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

Dayummm you are old fashion huh?

LOL. For Real, you must be new here. Yes, I am.

By Leon Phelps

October 7, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

Riz LoL isn’t that rule #22,432???? Never approach a woman when she has more than 1 friend with her. (unless you have an equal number of male friends with you) Its almost a no-win situation. Somebody in the group is going to find something wrong with any dude who approaches, especially if you holla at the obviously best looking one of the bunch.
Which brings me to a second point… what value is the initial meeting if you know that it was based purely on looks? I have to say that my best relationships were with people I met in a setting where we were interacting such as college campus, during my lunch hour, at a social gathering, etc. When I have met women in bars/clubs 9 times out of 10 they end up not being much more than a woman who looks good, but with no real substance. Now I am not saying that women who go to clubs are all airheads, but the ones I have found so far have been, for the most part.

By SlimOne

October 7, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this

Hi Ya’ll

just heard the last dept at the office I was in got the boot this morning..gave them till 11am to get the fluck out..already had boxes for them

The best way I ever approached a guy was I asked if he would be so kind as to pull the wedgie out of my azz. I think it was love at first sight. LOL

By Poppa Grande

October 7, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this

For Real

Throw in the females that are just touchy feely/flirty by nature, it could make things tougher.

By ATLWorldwide

October 7, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this

“I’ve always been nice to women that have asked me out, but seriously — for men, all that indicates is a casual good time,and probability of easy and recreational sex. If that’s all it’s about, then fine, but if you hold yourself in higher regard, I’d advise against approaching a man first.”

Thanks for your honesty. I see times have not changed, and I am going to stick to plan A based on this man’s honest response.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 11:17 AM | Link to this

and i get all type of comments daily because i pretty much chill and stay to myself on the job….which leads to curiosity as to why i am not joining in with the rest of the dudes sweating the local hawt co-worker…feel me…..ya know i get the dayum gurl did you smell him…i wonder what he has on…..nice shoes….as he been working out….its the quite ones you have to worry about…etc etc..all with earshot of me and loud enough for me to hear…and then the giggles when i walk by…

Rell, you work for Lady Eloise don’t ya?

Marcuuuss…dahling!

By MELO

October 7, 2008 11:17 AM | Link to this

As for asking a guy that I’m dating, done it too why wld that even be an issue??

By New Rell Order

October 7, 2008 11:19 AM | Link to this

@Riz

Free Game

do you have any idea how uncomfortable it is to approach a woman casually at a club or bar or store when she’s with her friends. You might pay a compliment, ask to buy a drink or just generally start a conversation.

Here is what i do - i walk up and say either excuse me or hello…i state all you ladies are looking very nice tonight/today etc..but i am came over here because of your friend..i find her style attractive and to my taste in women…and then i would turn directly to your choice and say do you mind if i have a moment of your time….then approach will stir all types of emotions and usually one out of the group will say go ahead girl talk to him we still have your back if he is crazy….success rate for real about 50 percent….yea it can backfire…but nothing ventured nothing gained

By Tazzee

October 7, 2008 11:19 AM | Link to this

Rell correction - I don’t approach or go say something to a guy. Mind you, this is an across the room type deal. The type of moves that take extra effort other than passing by and saying hello.

MLL if that’s your definition of approaching a guy - then I guess I do approach. I’m sure he sees me looking never thought dudes were simple. This is my part in letting a guy know that it’s OK to approach (come say something).

Dan *”I get the stares of women, just walking in my own world everyday and while I appreciate the acknowledgement, if you’re staring past those 3 seconds…I need you to say something.

For me, if you’re just watching me, you’re just watching me. I don’t mind, but if you’re staring to the point of walking into something or someone, why not say something?”*

LOL - never said I’m staring. I’d catch your eye and smile. I said establish and maintain eye contact because it’s never just a glance.

Riz My Mr. Right won’t be the type that quietly waits for anything he wants. I met this guy while out with a friend one time. Attractive guy and he flat out said that he doesn’t approach any females - he sits back and waits for them to say something to him. So we sat back and watched. One woman went so far as to bump into him and said excuse me, but he didn’t use that opening. I heard later that he did get some numbers that night from women that approached him. But while the guy was attractive, his quietly waiting approach made it so I was not attracted to him.

By Leon Phelps

October 7, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this

AmazonRed I love the Atlanta Fish market, as the name implies they do a good job with fish there.

Veni Vidi Veci has good italian food , I have only been there for lunch… I have had lunch there and had everyone from the Governor to local news anchors, to CEO’s of various companies sitting at the next table….the food is good too.

By M.

October 7, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this

@AmazonRed

The Atlanta Fish Market is really good. You should just make a reservation and check it out.

Also,

You can go to Corner Cafe (They are part of the buckhead life group). Try the brunch on saturday and get the bbq shrimp and grits.

By MELO

October 7, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this

Physcially, he was what I liked in man, and he could hold a conversation. Score! what was ur thoght process at this time….esp after the score??? I mean wld u have given him play,maybe a date and then tell current what?????

By Leon Phelps

October 7, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this

*AmazonRed * Also Veni Vidi Veci can prepare Glueten Free meals, if that matters ( discalimer.. I have not been there in almost 2 years)

By Poppa Grande

October 7, 2008 11:25 AM | Link to this

AR

Sell it and take him to Fogo De Chao. He can really get his grub on there….j/k

My favorite of BLG:

1) Chops 2) Panos and Paul’s 3) Nava 4) Bluepointe 5) Kyma

Chops is really number 1 because I’ve been there the most. Working for a firm in Buckhead made Chops easy access for business lunches.

Kyma was really good too. I’ve only been there once, though. It has a greek theme (at least that is what it seemed like).

By MLL

October 7, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this

Ared you can’t go wrong with VENI VIDI VICI…unless he’s a seafood lover then it’s CHOPS…

melo I didn’t say it was an issue but some do/have made it one.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this

what was ur thoght process at this time….esp after the score??? I mean wld u have given him play,maybe a date and then tell current what?????

melo, good question. I wanted to see how the rest of the convo panned out. After the “hope to hear from you” part, I knew Beau had nothing to worry about.

Common theme, none of these guys are hitting on anything worthy of risking what I have for.

By MLL

October 7, 2008 11:29 AM | Link to this

Thanks Ared now I’m hungry…..LOL

By mqew

October 7, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this

Ared CHOPS!!! Kyma is cool too… I think they have the bomb azz flash frozen lobster tails

I don’t freakin believe this… I agree with Melo and abc

DAMN DAMN DAMN said as Ms. Florida Evans

By New Rell Order

October 7, 2008 11:32 AM | Link to this

@ared….got jokes this morning….lol…good one…but call it what you want….i am just stating the facts…and for the record…they are all younger than me…young tenders hawt in the arse…i just keep it moving…

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 11:33 AM | Link to this

Thanks for all the suggestions you well fed bloggers.

PG, I only weigh 130 pounds so Fogo De Chao is often a waste for the money for me since I can’t take it with me! LOL

I’ve been wanting to go to Chops cuz AmazonRed is a steak and potatoes girl who loves a good surf n turf! That’s my choice, but I’m letting him decide.

By Blue_Kolla

October 7, 2008 11:33 AM | Link to this

What up peeps?

…nothing wrong with a woman approaching a man. Matter of fact, it probably works out a lot more than the what ABC was alluding to, especially if the woman displays a certain level of self-respect and integrity.

By Riz

October 7, 2008 11:37 AM | Link to this

I appreciate feedback. I lurk and don’t post here much so it’s nice to get a response.

I understand your points and its clear that “nothing ventured - nothing gained.” Getting shutdown or laughed at or completely pushed aside would ruin my evening. Since I so rarely go out - it’s simply not a risk I want to take.

By For Real

October 7, 2008 11:37 AM | Link to this

Ared If he wants steak it’s chops. If he likes swordfish take him to Aria the best I have ever had. If you want steak and atmosphere go to Taurus. If you want a two piece with toast take him to the Blue Note. What up Cee!

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this

We are simple, so you are correct there. However, we are sometimes so simple that we miss all of your “hints”.

But PG, it’s not really about my hints. It’s about YOUR interest. It really doesn’t matter what I do, shy of telling you to get lost. If you really want to get to know me, you’ll find a way to meet me.

By Poppa Grande

October 7, 2008 11:39 AM | Link to this

My Mr. Right won’t be the type that quietly waits for anything he wants.

I just think that is a terrible assumption. Many guys aren’t just waiting. They are living. Shoot, we have daily stresses like anyone else.

Many guys, having experienced approaching an possible romantic interest themselves & knowing the nerve that it takes to do so, would be appreciative. Unless he is Melo or abc, most won’t automatically think of it an easy sexual encounter. Dude would still have to make sure that he doesn’t say anything stupid.

Believe me, whether a female approached or not, one wrong word can turn a female off.

Off topic

One of the secretaries here in the firm has just gone off on the attorney. She had enough of his orders (or so says her). She threw her keys and blackberry at him and told him to shove it where the sun don’t shine…lol.

Free entertainment on Tuesday in the ATL. I could hear her all the way down the hall. Needless to say that she was escorted out…lol

By MELO

October 7, 2008 11:40 AM | Link to this

i think he was thrown off by me rubbing on them thick muscular thighs u just confirmed Rell’s black book, rule#493 , which reads * women luv to pfluck as much and if not more than guys do,let them rub it first to allow easier entry!!*

By Leggs

October 7, 2008 11:40 AM | Link to this

CHOPS IS THE PLACE TO GO! But you did say, you’re letting him pick!

By Riz

October 7, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this

I appreciate feedback. I lurk and don’t post here much so it’s nice to get a response.

I understand your points and its clear that “nothing ventured - nothing gained.” Getting shutdown or laughed at or completely pushed aside would ruin my evening. Since I so rarely go out - it’s simply not a risk I want to take.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this

You are an adult if you want something open your friggin mouth and say it.

For Real, great point! So that’s why I’ll just wait for the interested guy to approach. Problem solved.

By What's Up With That?

October 7, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this

I find that attractive men can look at me all day, but are shy to approach me, regardless of how many hints I drop, so I usually make the initial conversation.

On the other hand, men that I don’t find physically attractive quickly approach me like bees to honey without my giving them any hints at all.

By Dan

October 7, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this

@Fellas

Is it mainly me, or does anyone else do this too?

Like my man was talking about the “New hot coworker” getting baraged with 15 dudes getting at her the first day…

I typically like to “do my dirt” all by my lonely. If I see a babe that I’m interested in and I get the vibe that it’s mutual, I’m not cutting across the room to get her, I’ll wait til we alone, or create that opportunity, and then get after her.

Usually, esp. with the “fresh meat” of a new coworker…I’m cool in the game until the aforementioned circumstances arise, then me being at her but keeping it low key, gives me the Billy Clint protection from sexual harrassment that I need, and gives her a secret that women love to keep (or so the new coworker told me).

By MLL

October 7, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this

melo only speak for yourself when it comes to thinking that a women who approaches men are easy lay….then again in your case maybe that’s all you attract LOL

By Chink

October 7, 2008 11:43 AM | Link to this

Afternoon!

I dont like approaching! I like giving compliments but thats about it. I agree with abc on that. Also it does give a guy with bad intentions the wrong idea…

I like to be courted and that takes a real mature man.

Went to Atlanta Fish and it wasn’t that good to me.

By Leggs

October 7, 2008 11:46 AM | Link to this

WOW PoppaG, she must have really been frustrated that she couldn’t refrain or take a breather away from her desk. Today’s economy is no joke, sure wished she had taken time out to breathe. This is not the time for anyone to be escorted off the premises.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this

Free entertainment on Tuesday in the ATL. I could hear her all the way down the hall. Needless to say that she was escorted out…lol

SLIM ONE, PG’s firm has an opening! LOL

By MELO

October 7, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this

especially if the woman displays a certain level of self-respect and integrity. when a woman has gone over that edge,it becomes rather difficult for her to maintain that dignity and self respect anyway,she is now all giddy and stuff and her hands are laying all over u in most cases..she is overwhelmed by the attraction.If that weere a man doing what she is doing,the feeling wld be its a guy being a guy..if its woman doing that,she is on a slut scale…not an easy fit to pull off for a woman.Any man,including me, will welcome that.But the feeling for her wont last,in my view.

By Bre'

October 7, 2008 11:49 AM | Link to this

A closed mouth does not get feed, and thats what I applied to hunting. Most men are pretty darn simple and they don’t always catch onto hints if you are feeling them. I know me I can have a very standoffish type attitude in public. Not on purpose, but sometimes my mind wonders outside of where I am and I can put on a dirty look and not even be aware of it. I’m trying to get better at that. But the fact is if I’m in a spot laying low in the cut. I take in the whole scene and see if anyone catches my eye. 10 to 1 if I’m out I’m out to dance. So I’m looking for swagger and rhythm.

But when I out to just be out I would challenge myself to the finest man in the club. Make a huge bet with the girls that I could get his number and seek him out. Usually it was pretty easy. And I’ve had my shares of no thank you’s. The guy I was engaged to up north, I really was not feeling him too much. But I sent him a drink and before you knew it he was up and over talking to me, and the story goes from there. I don’t remember any lines that I used its as easy as a smile and compliment. Some men just need to know that the door is ajar(not wide open) if so they will pretty much do the rest.

However now that I am older and somehow I’ve become shy with new people. Every once and awhile I see if I still have it. Being in a relationship I pretty much just flirt with ol boy.

By Dan

October 7, 2008 11:49 AM | Link to this

@PG

That 11:39 is right on.

@Taz and ARed

While both of you may be beautiful women (I can only vouch for the one), a man that passes you by in any setting may be, at that moment, dealing with his own circumstances. While he may see you, may take notice, whatever is in his mind may be taking presidence.

Why not offer him the chance to get to know you? As the one that approaches you may snap him out of it.

@Ladies

New Life rule: If you’re on your cell phone and you nod and/or wink or make eye contact (or whatever signal you send)…I’m not interested in talking to you, let alone waiting on you to get off the phone. So if you get the isht grill, your fault.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this

Also it does give a guy with bad intentions the wrong idea

Chink, good point. It’s still a toss up about how “acceptable” approaching is. Many guys think it sexy, but others think it’s desperate. Since I think it’s a little “extra” myself, I tend to side with the guys who think it comes off a little desperate.

Besides, my mother approaches guys on my behalf. LOL. At least she picks out tall ones.

By mqew

October 7, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this

Chink I agree… on both points… I’ll give a compliment in a heartbeat…

Atlanta Fish Market has great fresh fish, but that’s about it… a lot of standardized sauces to top em with, reminds me of Pappadeaux’s..

By Poppa Grande

October 7, 2008 11:53 AM |