Misadventures in Atlanta

By happy face

October 13, 2008 8:16 AM | Link to this

If the ex doesn’t know about her then he is most likely married or that isn’t just his roomate. I had a friend that dated a married man and he spent all of his time with her vacations included.. It seemed like he was married to her instead of his wife but he still went “home” every night.. He said she was his girlfriend and the wife was a roommate until they could divorce. 3 years later he and the wife are still “roommates”.. I would ask to meet the “roommate”.. If everything is on the up and up that should be no problem.. Its a shame the things we as women will put up with to be with a half way decent man..

By Teresa

October 13, 2008 8:18 AM | Link to this

DEAL BREAKER!

By Blow ME...HI HATERS!!

October 13, 2008 8:41 AM | Link to this

Good Morning

Wow…this is actually a TOPIC! Come on!! This is too elementary..You could not be serious today. This is a done deal it’s nothing to discuss!! Not at all!

I can’t believe you insulted our intelligence like this!!

By SexyCool is back!!!

October 13, 2008 9:41 AM | Link to this

MJB!!! MJB!!! MJB!!!

okay…um…now that i’ve got that out of my system…

tell your friend that her boyfriend is married….

By Raqi

October 13, 2008 9:51 AM | Link to this

LOL SexyCool. There is a 70% chance that they are married. And even if they are not married there is a 99.998% chance that they are bumping uglies.

By T

October 13, 2008 9:53 AM | Link to this

I have lived with my ex-husband for about 1 1/2 months now while waiting to close on my new house and getting some minor repairs done.

I have felt very uncomfortable at times that he still wants me but, we work different hours and are seldomly there at the same time so I try to get over that uneasy feeling knowing that I am almost out completely and for good. I have no interest in him whatsoever, his bipolarism is what caused our demise in the first place.

Our living condition is convienient and economical for this short period of time. Don’t get me wrong I am truly going my own way and if I had family or friends to turn to I would because sometimes he says things like it’s no hurry but acctually I am in a hurry to be in my own space. I ask sometimes if he would like some space in case there is a love interest because it is his house. I’m like just a temporary guest and if he’s occupied with someone else then he won’t have me on his mind.

I appreciate the fact that he has allowed me this time in his home and yes I stay in another part of the house, I keep all my belongings in my room, I keep my door closed when I am there and I try to stay out as late as I can before I have to come in.

This is a tricky situation and not recommended for everyone, my only advise is if you have to consider living together, make the terms firm, don’t fall into a compromising situation with each other, keep the living situation short term and stick with the plan get out as agreed otherwise, it may become a troublesome situation for any and all parties involved. To be honest with you if he does show some interst in having someone in his life I will get ASAP because I wouldn’t want to be in her shoes wondering what the heck is going on when she’s not around.

By Foots

October 13, 2008 9:59 AM | Link to this

My friend doesn’t know if the Ex knows about her and says they don’t talk about it. He spends most of his time with my friend, even vacationing together.

See this right here ^^? How the heck wouldn’t the ex know about her if he spends most of his time with her? Where does he tell his ex that he’s spending his nights? Were there no vacation pictures either?

And the million dollar question: Why hasn’t she been to his place to check things out for herself and meet the ex?

By Hot Mamma

October 13, 2008 9:59 AM | Link to this

Dum, DeeeDeee, Dum Girl

Yo friend done fell for the O-key Doke!!

By kevmoor2005

October 13, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this

Yeah, I think you friends new man is married. There’s no way that he and his ex are still living together without* Banging Bootys*.

By Foots

October 13, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this

Blanca By the way, how long have they been dating and when does his lease expire? Unless it is a very expensive lease and they have no savings, it shouldn’t be too bad to break the lease. If they’ve been dating for two months, his two month notice (to avoid further fees) could have been up by now.

By Leggs

October 13, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this

While I definitely understand the predictament you’re in T, I don’t understand how the new girl doesn’t know if the ex knows about her. Roommates are roommates, but some of them come along w/fringe benefits. There’s no acceptable reason I can presently think of why the new doesn’t or haven’t met the ex. At the least, she should be invited over to assess the vibe in that place herself!

By kevmoor2005

October 13, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this

Yeah, I think you friends new man is married. There’s no way that he and his ex are still living together without* Banging Bootys*.

By SexyCool

October 13, 2008 10:05 AM | Link to this

i have a gf who has a rule that she will not date anybody whose house she can not go to…

By Foots

October 13, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this

T To be honest with you if he does show some interst in having someone in his life I will get ASAP because I wouldn’t want to be in her shoes wondering what the heck is going on when she’s not around.

If you can get out ASAP if he starts seeing someone, why can’t you leave now? What would be different about your situation then that would enable you to leave quickly if you can’t leave if he’s not seeing someone? You seem concerned about making a possible new girl in his life feel comfortable, so much so that you would leave ASAP, but you are content to be uncomfortable there yourself for convenience’s sake, confined to one room, having to keep your door closed, and refusing advances from him…

By Leggs

October 13, 2008 10:14 AM | Link to this

And that’s the best rule I’ve heard in a long time SexyCool. I had a new friend tell me over the weekend that he doesn’t want to date outside his home too much. He’s through w/clubs. Will attend an occasional movie. Prefers to eat at home. All he’s looking for is companionship. One to share the couch w/and cuddle while watching moves, sports, etc. All I could say is thank you for your honesty. You’re not what the type of person I’m seeking to get to know better. Open honesty has to be appreciated and this guy should be more open w/his ex and his new!

By Foots

October 13, 2008 10:15 AM | Link to this

SexyCool Good rule. At least you know one way or the other whether there is a woman of some importance in his life.

And shoot, pulling info from a situation that my friend just got out of, you should go over to the dude’s place rather often. She had been to his place before, but in the name of convenience, they spent most of their time at her house. Turns out that her now-ex had been evicted from his apartment three months before they broke up.

By SexyCool

October 13, 2008 10:15 AM | Link to this

t…why do you refer to it as his house? did you move in with him after you married him?

By abc

October 13, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this

That is just crazy.

If a girl is that gullible and willing to accept that poor of a situation, then it’s hard to be very sympathetic when it turns into her ‘all men are dogs’ story.

By MELO

October 13, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this

To some extend,all men are dogs’ for as long as u allow their dycks to rule ur mind…

By Foots

October 13, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this

abc If a girl is that gullible and willing to accept that poor of a situation…

I have to agree with you. It’s interesting that Blanca said When he met my friend, he ended his relationship, but is still living with the Ex…. So in other words, if he hadn’t met Blanca’s friend, he’d still be with the girl? If he met this new girl on Tuesday, does that mean that he didn’t break up with the girlfriend until Wednesday? Or was he still with the girl until he knew that his new situation was better?

Of course, he’s still having a bit of overlap companionship. Very few people can break clean while not living together if they are used to the sex. But living together and they so-called JUST broke up?

Why couldn’t the guy just wait until he could get himself straight before starting to date? And if he couldn’t, why couldn’t she just have said “Hey, I like you, but you need to get your stuff together before we can go any further?”

By Poppa Grande

October 13, 2008 10:37 AM | Link to this

Good Morning..

Sexycool that is actually a good rule.

abc

I agree that is a crazy situation.I actually agree with your post for the most part.

However, I do know that this economic situation has created somw weird cicumstances for people.

With so many foreclosures, more people have headed back to apartments and renting houses. Which in turn has raised the amount of rent out there because demand is higher. I’ve seen one bedroom crapholes for 700-800 per month. (I’ve had some friends that were looking around and I have gone with them.) Which means that maybe they stay together for convenience of that finances. (Both the fact that expenses can be split, and it may be close to their jobs or something.)

So, I guess my point is that we don’t know why they made this decision.

By lurker

October 13, 2008 10:45 AM | Link to this

What does your panties say about you?

Mine say SINGLE! LOL.

By MELO

October 13, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

Poppe got a qs for u.I have a tree house in my backyard and my 10yr daughter and her neighbor friends like to play in there.If one of those girls gets hurt playing in there,am i liable? Hw should i protect myself coz i do not invite them,they just come and their parents let them.Appreciate in advance…

By Adam Savage

October 13, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this

I still live with my former lover … she’s called my wife.

By SexyCool

October 13, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this

melo…i know you didn’t ask me…but…yep…you would be liable…how do you protect yourself? ask their parents sign a waiver of liability…make sure your homeowner’s insurance has high enough liability limits…

By Foots

October 13, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this

Big Poppa So, I guess my point is that we don’t know why they made this decision.

The thing is, Blanca’s friend doesn’t even know if a decision has even been made. The guy wasn’t even broken up with the girl before they got together. Not that it makes much difference, but if they were in a situation like T and her ex-husband, at least there would have been some time passed and history where she could see that they were truly apart and free to date other people with no drama.

But with this situation, dude came home on Wednesday, broke things off because he met someone new (not because he’d been unhappy, shoot, he said he’d been unhappy for several years and was still with the chick), got up and went to work on Thursday, and came home on Thursday and everything is settled and done? No back and forth, no “let’s work it out”? That’s definitely fishy…

And who moved out of the bedroom they shared together??

By lurker

October 13, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this

Melo

Just make sure your liability (home insurance) is straight. It should be around $500,000 to a Million. You are fine. :)

By Cemeeli

October 13, 2008 10:58 AM | Link to this

Morning.

Melo you have a Treehouse?…that’s a cool extra! sorry i’m a big kid at heart.

By Foots

October 13, 2008 11:00 AM | Link to this

MELO Just was reading about that topic last night for a class of mine. Check this out about Attractive Nuisance.

By Foots

October 13, 2008 11:01 AM | Link to this

Melo In case it didn’t post before: Attractive Nuisance

By Poppa Grande

October 13, 2008 11:06 AM | Link to this

Melo - Sorry for the long answer but it is warranted with your questions.

A treehouse is considered an attractive nuisance. Attractive nuisances are private nuisances at that would be attractive to kids. Swimming pools and trampolines are considered attractive nuisances. They are bound to get the attention of kids and kids will want to play on/in them even if you are not around.

Which means that you have to go beyond and above normal means to seclude it from the public and protect yourself. You have to do things that will make it hard for them to get in to it. For example, many people with swimming pools have resorted to wooden privacy fences so that the pool doesn’t catch a kid’s eye. Kid’s don’t think of the possible consequences. So, it is on the owner of the property to make it exclusive.

So to answer this question: If one of those girls gets hurt playing in there,am i liable? Yes, if you aren’t making it difficult for them to get in it. Attractive nuissance in Georgia is a major issue. It is so much an issue, that I have noticed that insurance companies have started asking if a customer/potential customer has such a nuisance. I remember being asked if we had a trampoline. The homeowner almost never wins such cases. A simple “No Trespassing” sign is not enough when you are dealing with kids how may not be able to read or may not take the time to read.

Protecting yourself: You have to make it tough for them to get to it & let your insurance company know that you have a treehouse and what you doing to make it exclusive. If you don’t tell them, they may not pay if you lose the case because you aren’t covered for an attractive nuisance.

By Foots

October 13, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this

Homeowner’s insurance does provide some degree of protection, but I also suggest an umbrella policy just in case. They are inexpensive and pick up where your other liability amounts (home/auto) leave off. Mine is only $171 a year. Folks love to sue these days; one mistake or negligent act can easily bankrupt a person.

By Cemeeli

October 13, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this

Melo - who built it or did it come with you purchasing the home?

By lurker

October 13, 2008 11:15 AM | Link to this

let your insurance company know that you have a treehouse

I know you are going to take his side and advice, but do not tell the insurance company. If something happens they will cover it. After the claim is settled it will be excluded from your policy. If you call them today the next time your policy comes up for renewal, you will get a non-renewal letter.

By MELO

October 13, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this

SexyC,Foots,Poppe i appreciate it.Im meeting my lady lawyer this Thursday morning and i will get that sqred up.. I thoght about it when Foots and Truth had that blog 2 way discussion on ur rental house. Cemeeli i built it,wanted a lil bit of zululand in my backyard.

By MELO

October 13, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this

Lurker thanks a lot..

By Poppa Grande

October 13, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this

Foots

The thing is, Blanca’s friend doesn’t even know if a decision has even been made.

Even if that is that case, you still don’t know why.

I guess that I am coming at this way is because I’ve had female roommates in the past (way past). They weren’t former girlfriends, but they were females who had good money and paid their share of the expenses without question or problems. They liked the location and the splitting of rent.

It did affect my dating because females would automatically think the worst just because I lived with a female. As a result, I quit taking the female interest to my place. It would lead to questions that I would answer honestly, but no one even believed me. So, I quit taking them to my place. Which made things harder. After telling the truth, there wasn’t anything that I could do. Most females had made up their minds that ‘Shon (female roommate) and I were FWB. Which could have been farther from the case. We had separte food, separate bathrooms, and phonelines. Only things that we really shared was rent, electric (all electric apartment), Direct TV.

Decisions were made by me not to get into my home situation at all.

By lurker

October 13, 2008 11:24 AM | Link to this

Getting a non-renewal letter is bad. The tree house will go on your record, like a speeding ticket goes on your driving record. The next insurance company will look at you sideways and have a rep go out to your house while you are not there. If the tree house is still there, they will not sell you the policy.

This goes for vicious dogs too!

By Poppa Grande

October 13, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this

Lurker

You are advocating fraud. So, yes, they may covered the injured party. But, they may come back after him for the money because he was not fortcoming. They can legally do it, most don’t but they can. Then, if he doesn’t pay, he will have judgment (lien) on him/the property. (it is called a Fieri Facias or Fi. Fa. in GA.)

Georgia laws seem to favor the big companies more than the little guy. That is how they lured some companies to Atlanta. They made it favorable for them. They come and bring jobs. People follow jobs.

By Shannon

October 13, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this

All I can say about this one is WOW! No way would I be in a relationship with a guy who wouldn’t, or even couldn’t change whatever situation he was in to make it possible for us to have a normal relationship.. it makes no sense. I understand that there are times when financially you do what you have to do, but if this is how his living situation is going to be, then she damn well better check it out for herself.

By Poppa Grande

October 13, 2008 11:32 AM | Link to this

This goes for vicious dogs too!

True, but they have their own laws in OCGA.

Small/nonvicious dogs may get one free bite, but vicious ones have to be treated with the utmost care.

By AmazonRed

October 13, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this

It’s still morning, right? Good morning all! Hope the weekend was fab.

I do have some friends who had the same unfortunate situation. Most of them live in L.A. and finding a suitable apartment solo is pretty hard. Neither of them wanted to give it up and find another, so they lived like War of the Roses for a while. It made dating other people a real pain. I think the girl ended up leaving first.

My friend was dating a guy in the same sitution. She knew he was keeping something and when he confessed, he got dumped. I think if he had told her upfront and allowed her to see his place on her own, it would have worked. She had vacationed and met the family too before he dropped that little ditty.

By SexyCool

October 13, 2008 11:36 AM | Link to this

let me guess….if/when/if he moves out of his ex’s (read: wife’s) apt…he’s moving in with your gf?

By Cemeeli

October 13, 2008 11:37 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli i built it,wanted a lil bit of zululand in my backyard.

Melo You built it?! Shoot me a list of cost/labor time. …probably less of a liability than a swimming pool?

It did affect my dating because females would automatically think the worst just because I lived with a female.

PoppaG the way some femmes are (not created equal/trife). And seems to me like you were a cool guy/good grab. Do you think it would have been anything thought outherwise.

I’m glad you and female roomy were “stand-up”. But in most cases….ah, yea you already now.

By Foots

October 13, 2008 11:37 AM | Link to this

Big Poppa I guess that I am coming at this way is because I’ve had female roommates in the past (way past). They weren’t former girlfriends

Totally different cause they were NOT former girlfriends. The women you dated had nothing to go on except for the fact that your roommate had two X chromosomes. They should have felt better about you bringing them around. You gave full disclosure and were not hiding anything. Still, you gotta keep your good eye open for any weirdness going on.

In Blanca’s situation, the guy hadn’t even broken up with the girl he was living with (and apparently sharing a bed with) until her friend came into the picture and she hasn’t met the girl and has no idea about whether she knows about her. Dude don’t even want to talk about it. That’s a situation you go into with both eyes open, and if you got eyes in the back of your head, you use those too.

By lurker

October 13, 2008 11:39 AM | Link to this

Poppa Grande

So the next time you speed, make an illegal turn, eat a grape in the grocery store turn yourself in!

He does not know any better and neither does millions of homeowners with these pits and rots.

Melo, after telling them, let us know what happens. Please.

By Daddy K

October 13, 2008 11:43 AM | Link to this

ON TOPIC When a woman is attracted to a man; she will find all kind of excuses to justify her feelings and try to give a meaning to her life. As long as she has strong feelings for a man, she will not be able to leave the man because she will not know what to do with her feelings.

Fast forward five months from now when she can not longer hide from the reality, she will borrow the universal (code I’m hurting) excuse to justify her feelings: MEN ARE DOGS.

When it comes to sexual attraction, women are not in control of their own destiny, the nature is in total control on man’s favor - Genesis 3:16

By Cemeeli

October 13, 2008 11:43 AM | Link to this

Melo nevermind…we agreed to get a basketball concrete slab instead.

By Poppa Grande

October 13, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this

*You gave full disclosure and were not hiding anything. Still, you gotta keep your good eye open for any weirdness going on. *

*Exactly, I still caught grief. *

So, I can understand why he wouldn’t go down that road at all.

She has accepted it.

By AmazonRed

October 13, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this

Why couldn’t the guy just wait until he could get himself straight before starting to date?

Foots exactly. If your story sounds CRAZY when you tell it or if Maury or Jerry Springer has called and invited you as a guest, GET YOUR ISH TOGETHER BEFORE YOU START DATING AGAIN!

It’s not that difficult.

By Poppa Grande

October 13, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this

So the next time you speed, make an illegal turn, eat a grape in the grocery store turn yourself in!

Do you sign contract with any of those people. Let me answer for you…NO!

Insurance Policies are legally binding contracts and includes any riders that come along with it. When you breach the contract, the insurance company can break it and ask for damages (sue).

By Poppa Grande

October 13, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this

So the next time you speed, make an illegal turn, eat a grape in the grocery store turn yourself in!

Do you sign contract with any of those people. Let me answer for you…NO!

Insurance Policies are legally binding contracts and includes any riders that come along with it. When you breach the contract, the insurance company can break it and ask for damages (sue).

You are an invitee to a grocery store. The entails a different relationship.

By Foots

October 13, 2008 11:50 AM | Link to this

MELO/Big Poppa You are advocating fraud. So, yes, they may covered the injured party. But, they may come back after him for the money because he was not fortcoming. They can legally do it, most don’t but they can.

Please take Big Poppa’s advice and be forthcoming with your insurance agency. Remember, even if they never come out to your house, they may be able to still see your whole property with the tree house on Google Maps or Zillow. Those pictures are fairly recent but they are old enough, so you can’t just say “Oh, I just built it and haven’t gotten around to tell you.” They’ll know you’ve had it for a while.

Lurker He’d probably much rather get a ticket for speeding or illegal procedure instead of getting sued for $500,000 and knowing that a child was hurt on his property. His advice was sound: Learn about your liability, notify your insurance company, and do everything you can to prevent access when you can’t supervise.

By AmazonRed

October 13, 2008 11:54 AM | Link to this

PG, how was dinner? Did you make it to restaurant week?

By MELO

October 13, 2008 11:55 AM | Link to this

Shoot me a list of cost/labor time we will work out a family labor rate,remember ur sister wants u to get a feel of that mandingo sweetness.Im the closest kin to that mandingo bro-in law of urs,lemme have a lil of ur potato salad in exchange.

By Leo

October 13, 2008 11:58 AM | Link to this

I don’t do the “ex” thing - period. Do neither of them have other “friends” they can room with? Is this the ONLY kind of living arrangments they can come up with? Sorry, there are too many guys out there to start out with drama. This reeks of drama….

By SexyCool

October 13, 2008 11:58 AM | Link to this

all this talk about being liable for a treehouse makes me nostalgic for the good old days…before we became sue happy in america…

By Poppa Grande

October 13, 2008 11:59 AM | Link to this

Cee

*I’m glad you and female roomy were “stand-up”. But in most cases….ah, yea you already now. *

She was cool people. Unfortunately, she passed on at a young age.

She like them crotch rockets (motocycle). She had a Honda Hurricane. She had a mishap on it and ended up on the interstate and a tractor trailer couldn’t get around hitting her. Decapitation….

By Foots

October 13, 2008 11:59 AM | Link to this

Big Poppa So, I can understand why he wouldn’t go down that road at all.

All the more reason for him to wait until his temporary situation is resolved before he gets involved. Why invite the drama?

Besides, he was worried about sticking the ex-girlfriend with the rent. Nothing in the situation said that HE couldn’t afford to move. If that would have been the case (he was broke and couldn’t afford to move) surely that would have been what she told Blanca, not that he was worried about his ex paying the rent alone.

Daddy K is right for the most part. If she really has feelings for the dude, she’d come up with the best excuses to allow herself to be with him. “He can’t afford to move with this economy” sounds a heck of a lot better than “He doesn’t want to stick his ex-girl with the rent alone”. Option B sounds noble and gallant, but Option A is the best excuse to use. If she didn’t use Option A, he can definitely afford to get his own place, which takes the economics out of it.

By Poppa Grande

October 13, 2008 12:03 PM | Link to this

*PG, how was dinner? Did you make it to restaurant week? *

We did Panos and Paul’s. It was great as usual. The place is just so unassuming from the outside.The food is always great there. It is just more pricey without restaruant week. It is in the same shopping center as OK Cafe.

By Poppa Grande

October 13, 2008 12:08 PM | Link to this

Foots

*All the more reason for him to wait until his temporary situation is resolved before he gets involved. Why invite the drama? *

I agree with you on that part. However, it is his decision to continue to look. She has accepted it.

The people who are affected have to deal with it as it is for them. Not, how it is for another person.

By Cemeeli

October 13, 2008 12:10 PM | Link to this

MeloOkay this African la famila gets me a discount rate, good. My in-law is from Guinea, he was a peidmont prk soccer participant…Laying concrete slab is not hard i’ve heard.

btw- How was you and Queen’s M. Marquis outing?

By Leggs

October 13, 2008 12:12 PM | Link to this

How the hell you turned that into a sexual opportunity Melo is amazing. There is something uniquely wrong with you!

By Poppa Grande

October 13, 2008 12:13 PM | Link to this

AR

How was it for you guys?

This weekeend we are going to Fogo with some friends.

I think that you probably could hold you own there. I know how you DST ladies eat. My Mother-In-Law tore that place up when we took her. She weighs 118 lbs. The key is not to eat the fried bananas or mashed potatoes. They will fill you up. And they give you water every 5 secs.

Their salad bar is cool as well.

By The Truth

October 13, 2008 12:17 PM | Link to this

Melo get the policy and don’t tell your insurance company. It could be argued that you never knew the risks that could be associated with owning a friggin treehouse. Also, as Footsy just found out you have to up all your coverages to even get the policy. I’m not going through all that then confessing my sins too. Thats to honest for an industry built on lies. LOL Or just tear down the treehouse and put up a walled in gazebo with jacuzzi, music, elctricity, and a frig. Amazing how a gazebo’s not a nuisance but a treehouse is. Maybe these parents should be sued for allowing their bad azz kids to run free.

Murning folks. Anyone want some oatmeal with raisins and honey? ( The Truth now wondering why everyone has turned their back on him)

By AmazonRed

October 13, 2008 12:17 PM | Link to this

We did Panos and Paul’s. It was great as usual.

PG, I’m glad you guys enjoyed! I guess Panos and Paul’s will be next on my list!

By Cemeeli

October 13, 2008 12:18 PM | Link to this

PoppaG….eeerrr…breaks!

She had a Honda Hurricane. She had a mishap on it and ended up on the interstate and a tractor trailer couldn’t get around hitting her. Decapitation

I am so sorry to hear that! My gosh, how horrible! hear i am thinking about getting a lil bike Lord knows.

all this talk about being liable for a treehouse makes me nostalgic for the good old days…before we became sue happy in america

I agree with your sentiment that we have become so trigger happy with getting our “due”/what the system/government owe us, what someone else owe us, imma sue, imma go off…some folks are a trip.

By AmazonRed

October 13, 2008 12:20 PM | Link to this

This weekeend we are going to Fogo with some friends. I think that you probably could hold you own there. I know how you DST ladies eat

PG LMAO! I’ve been to Fogo, but it was for a reception so I didn’t have the full monty. I have gone to Porque in Miami (same concept) and I know at the end of the day, it was 10 of us with an $1000 tab. Yikes! I remember holding my own then.

My appetite is not what it used to be though. We went to Chops and it was really great! The drinks were good too. Beau finished off my steak for me and I’m usually good at finishing my meat and potatoes!

By Foots

October 13, 2008 12:22 PM | Link to this

Poppa The people who are affected have to deal with it as it is for them. Not, how it is for another person.

True. And if he did that, he would be concerned about moving forward with his own life, instead of still feeling responsible for his ex’s living situation.

This whole thing reminds me of a situation I had myself about two years ago. I had met this guy at the NBMBAA conference here in ATL. We hit it off immediately and continued to talk for a couple of months after he went back home to Dallas.

The night we met he told me that he was newly divorced, told me I could check it out for myself (I did, and yep, newly divorced). He spent a while telling me about what happpened, blah, blah, blah, and that they realized that they were better as friends and were still good friends, but he left out one piece of info: They still lived in the house together. He mentioned that in passing when we were discussing when I was going to come to Dallas to visit. He said that most of her stuff was still there, she was having her new house renovated. He was looking for a smaller house himself, so he would be packing up too.

At that point, he became less of a possibility for me to date. Dude really needed to get his stuff together before he started something new and I told him so. I told him that I would feel uncomfortable visiting while she was there and that I’d think about visiting when he had his own place. He didn’t see the big deal. I never visited because the friendship died out on its own. He still calls every now and then, so I might check in with him to see how that all turned out.

By Cemeeli

October 13, 2008 12:24 PM | Link to this

Maybe these parents should be sued for allowing their bad azz kids to run free.

Hmph…now if my chile was in someones treehouse and I didn’t know it that is MY neglect. Would i really sue? NO! Cause if he break something, than i’m just as guilty for allowing him unsupervised up in someone elses yard, treehouse without my knowledge anyway. Yea, i allow him to play on other neighbors basketball yard but I know where and if he gets hurt I’m responsible for that finger jam/spring and i don’t look at the homeowners sideways.

By MELO

October 13, 2008 12:25 PM | Link to this

btw- How was you and Queen’s M. Marquis outing? Fantabolous.. For the past 5 or so years, i have really spoiled her on Queens’ day.I could see by the way she rocked her jeans,grabed me by the waist and stepped/bounced on her stilettos,she seemed content. We were watching some black footballers show(dnt knw title-she knew it) on CW friday and went to dinner soon after.There was some grl friend and ex-girlfriend drama on the show.As we stepped outa of the elevator,were talking and she says,but u knw,u men are dogs smetimes I countered by saying look at so and so,citing all the prominent pple in our african cirles from cabinet secretaries/ministers to ceos who are married but have had drama whilst married but still married.I remarked that thats hw God created us as men and women but pple/women just have to learn hw to navigate those issues and keep them in the family.She said,u right!! Maybe its time i revealed sme of my tightly held secrets now!!

By lurker

October 13, 2008 12:25 PM | Link to this

Truth

I knew I could count on you. LOL. I personally do not confess anything. If I killed someone in broad daylight with a hundred witnesses, I am the person who is sitting in court saying they did not do it!

By MELO

October 13, 2008 12:27 PM | Link to this

How the hell you turned that into a sexual opportunity that gift presented itself SexxyL…never-ever heard of nothing for nothing??

By Foots

October 13, 2008 12:29 PM | Link to this

Truth Also, as Footsy just found out you have to up all your coverages to even get the policy.

Luckily, my home owner’s policies had the corrent coverages, but I did have to up my coverages on my auto policies. I did some juggling, and removed my rental coverage, since I do have two cars AND I found out that Libery Mutual would still pay up to $18 a day for a rental without the additional rental coverage. (She said that I can still get a rental car, it would just be smaller. Who gives a dayum about that? I just want to get around.)

Anyway, I managed to shave about $7 off my auto insurance monthly, which pays for half of my new umbrella policy. So for an extra $7 a month, I get some added peace. Glad you recommended it.

By AmazonRed

October 13, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this

We were watching some black footballers show(dnt knw title-she knew it) on CW friday

LOL, it’s called “The Game” and it’s now permanently Tivo’d since I’m not home on Friday nights!

By Leggs

October 13, 2008 12:33 PM | Link to this

That much I do know. For some dumb reason I really thought you were going to give her the breakdown on the cost and labor JUST BECAUSE. Yep, silly me!

By Cemeeli

October 13, 2008 12:36 PM | Link to this

Maybe its time i revealed sme of my tightly held secrets now!!

Melo i’m ‘bout to head out to lunch. But yea, The Queen is not a fool! God knows i don’t condone the “stepping out” behaviour (and i don’t judge) but stop with all this drama! …get that delivered from you. You two seem as if you match and you have obviously made a lifetime commitment, don’t bring other folks/spirits into your relationship bro.

And stop comparing! Other folks marriage/relationships should not be your patent. hopefully it’s not

brb

By Sidelines

October 13, 2008 12:38 PM | Link to this

ARed…LOL, it’s called “The Game” and it’s now permanently Tivo’d since I’m not home on Friday nights!, that show still comes on? I liked that show, but stopped looking for it after ole’ girl didn’t what direction her life was going in and broke it off with dude. But, I hear you, i’d have to DVR that bad boy as I’m not home on friday’s either.

Truth, Thats to honest for an industry built on lies.…so true, so true!!!

By The Truth

October 13, 2008 12:40 PM | Link to this

Lurker I’m always here for you. LOL

Melo way to go on the special day thing. I applaud you but also encourage you to up the game. Next year scoop her up for a few days in Tahiti or some overseas location.(Not the islands because EVERYONE goes there) Alot of the local spots can be hit on a monthly/quarterly basis but you should fly her away twice a year. Sounds like since she has to deal with you she deserves some away time. LOL

By Beautiful

October 13, 2008 12:42 PM | Link to this

haven’t had time to read above comments.

this is simple. date the guy because you like him. ask him when lease is up. if he’s not out within a week after lease expires, you simply got played. move on.

don’t go thru life thinking everyone is out to get you. lol. for him to stay with her so she won’t get caught up on paying both halves and for him to look out for both of their credit reports is a green flag to me.

by the time the lease expires, if he is on his game, he would have a new spot ready for him and maybe me too!

hi poppa, leggs, bloggers!

By kimmie

October 13, 2008 12:43 PM | Link to this

Good Afternoon Blog Fam! Hope everyone had a good weekend.

I’m not usually much of an action film type, but saw Iron Man on dvd yesterday and it was great. I love Robert Downey Jr, with his crack-head self! Terrance Howard was in it also. Probably might have been the blockbuster of the summer if not for Batman.

On Topic - The boyfriend/girlfriend still living with the ex never works out good. Bottom line, get yourself together & independent before you start to date! I had friends, like Poppa, that had roommates of the opposite sex IN COLLEGE or soon after and there was no hanky-panky, it was an open situation. But grow up! Whatever fee must be paid to break a lease is the price a grownup has to pay sometimes when things don’t work out! Go stay with a friend or relative, but get out! That is not the time to begin a new relationship! I dumped a guy for this very reason - his baby mama was living with him in a house - FOR THE KIDS(yeah right). He never would take me to his house until I put my foot down! Yeah, he lived in Snellville and yeah my house was closer to his job & more convinient, but like Sexycool’s friend, if I can’t come to your place we can’t date, period!

One of my best friends dated this guy for 2 years and they were about to get engaged- shopping for rings, meeting parents, etc. He was an assistant principal at a middle school but flipped/rented houses on the side. One day out of the blue he tells her an “old friend” was moving to town and he was going to let her stay WITH HIM until she got on her feet. My friend had met all his friends & family and had never heard of this woman. She also did not understand why the woman could not stay in one of his rental houses that he had free at the time. She told him she was uncomfortable with the situation, but he did not change his mind. She dumped him and it tore her up that he would do her like that. Fast forward 3 years later - her NEW fiance’ was taking her out to dinner at the Sundial. Who do they run into but ole dude and his wife - THE FRIEND! He was looking miserable and texted/called her later wanting to hook up! Come to find out they were “celebrating” their wedding anniversary - their wedding date was the same as my friends birthday! She told him to go fly a kite!

Sorry for the long post, that story was just too juicy!

By AmazonRed

October 13, 2008 12:46 PM | Link to this

that show still comes on? I liked that show, but stopped looking for it after ole’ girl didn’t what direction her life was going in and broke it off with dude

Sidelines, yup it still comes on. It’s full of drama now, baby mama drama, divorce drama, secret elopements. LOL

They don’t play football anymore. LOL

By Sidelines

October 13, 2008 12:51 PM | Link to this

ARed, for real, dang!!!! I’m gonna have to add that to my list of dvr stuff to record then…lol!!! Too funny…

By AmazonRed

October 13, 2008 12:53 PM | Link to this

this is simple. date the guy because you like him. ask him when lease is up. if he’s not out within a week after lease expires, you simply got played. move on.

don’t go thru life thinking everyone is out to get you. lol.

I agree with Angie. Good post girly.

I have had guy roommates before and have never had any desire to “go there” so I would never automatically assume a guy I dated would either.

Blanca’s friends situation is fishy and suspect as hell, indeed. However, now that she’s in the situation, I think Angie’s advice is best.

By mytwocents

October 13, 2008 1:05 PM | Link to this

I break away from being all hemmed up for some foolishness for real! Okay didn’t we learn like in 3rd grade that if dude allegedly leaves the last girl for you, he’ll leave you for the Next girl too? Not touchin the roomie issue… no time left to gather. Toodles

By Foots

October 13, 2008 1:07 PM | Link to this

kimmie Yeah, that was a GOOD one!! LOL!!

Amazon I keep forgetting to set my DVR for The Game, but I’m glad that DirecTV has the function to schedule things from your computer. I just set it up so I won’t miss any more episodes.

By AmazonRed

October 13, 2008 1:13 PM | Link to this

How many of you have found yourself in the shoes of my friend of her boyfriend? Is living with an Ex a deal breaker, or just the breaks?

Here’s the closest I’ve come: I met a guy who told me upon our initial meeting that he was separated and going thru divorce. Not good enough for me I told him once his situation was “fixed” (once the divorce was granted) give me a call.

Well, he did 3 months later. I was flattered that he waited all that time. In any case, we did date and I did go to his house. His ex and kid had relocated 1000 miles away and everything. However, he was just still separated, the divorce had not been finalized. He lied.

I did get out and move on. I even talked to his soon to be ex wife and everything. She was never the problem. It was the fact that he wanted to return to “playa days”

By Sidelines

October 13, 2008 1:15 PM | Link to this

Foots, GMAC by chance???

By Foots

October 13, 2008 1:20 PM | Link to this

Amazon I have had guy roommates before and have never had any desire to “go there” so I would never automatically assume a guy I dated would either.

Yeah, I can see that, if you’d never been involved in a relationship with a male roommate.

Knowing me, I could deal with a guy living with a woman because they are friends and decided to room together, just like they would have done if they were both male. I’d see her as just another roommate.

But I would have a real problem with a guy who lived with his girlfriend of several years, broke up with her because he met me, but still lives with her. My mind would play tricks on me with that situation, especially if they were together when I came into the picture. Dude would have to leave the situation before I got with him. Poor guy probably needs time to himself anyway. He JUST got out of a relationship and basically still sees the chick when he rolls over in the morning.

By Kym

October 13, 2008 1:21 PM | Link to this

Good Afternoon All,

While I agree old girl seems a bit too trusting..I wouldnt go so far to say the guy is married. It could be like others have said economic wise it might be best to just live it out together…but I would question why he broke up with live in lady-when he met your friend. I mean were they on the rocks to start? Alot of unanswered questions so proceed with caution.

Off-Topic While I love holidays off..there is absolutely nothing on tv worth watching…right now they are selling home furnishing on QVC…thank goodness I have moved to a cash only system, dang even Matlock is not on.

By Foots

October 13, 2008 1:22 PM | Link to this

Sidelines Nope. Liberty Mutual. I should probably shop around for some better rates, but LM has written six policies for me and I’m too lazy to change the status quo.

By AmazonRed

October 13, 2008 1:26 PM | Link to this

But I would have a real problem with a guy who lived with his girlfriend of several years, broke up with her because he met me, but still lives with her.

Foots - Me too! Especially since the last thing I want upon break up is my ex in my face everyday. I’d find away to get out ASAP.

By SeanJohnson.3000

October 13, 2008 1:26 PM | Link to this

Sup Blog…by chance does any one know the approximate amount people who take care of foster kids or mentally handicapped adults get?

By Sidelines

October 13, 2008 1:28 PM | Link to this

Foots…oh, ok! I totally understand!

By Cemeeli

October 13, 2008 1:30 PM | Link to this

Okay didn’t we learn like in 3rd grade that if dude allegedly leaves the last girl for you, he’ll leave you for the Next girl too?

Ms. Cents, I learned multiplication and division in 3rd grade. …Alright, alright…Mrs. Bland did teach us that Jonny was only bringing Blow Pops to school & giving them to the girls because he was trying out that ‘free enterprise system’. My final answer is; Yes.

Asparagus are the best & worst folic vegetable.

speaking of…melo, Did i disgust you? :)

By Kym

October 13, 2008 1:36 PM | Link to this

SeanJohnson in the case of a person who is mentally disable there is no approximate amount..it varies.

If that person is recieving SSI payment then last time I had to deal with it it was about 600.00 and the money does not go to the person who cares for the kid or adult it goes to that person..all the caretaker serves as is Representative Payee. There is no amount a person gets for taking care of someone mentally disable.

By AmazonRed

October 13, 2008 1:42 PM | Link to this

Asparagus are the best & worst folic vegetable.

Cemeeli, you gonna birf (yes I said birf, lol) another baby? LOL

By Blanca

October 13, 2008 1:46 PM | Link to this

Foots Blanca By the way, how long have they been dating and when does his lease expire? They’ve been seeing eachother since April and his lease expires this month. He’s supposedly moving out in a few weeks. I’m waiting to see if this actually happens.

By Leggs

October 13, 2008 1:48 PM | Link to this

Dang, these orange N&Ls are tangy than I thought!

By Cemeeli

October 13, 2008 1:52 PM | Link to this

ARed I’m anemia, and if the doc wouldn’t “press” that i’m in good health ONLY if i keep my folate intake up to par, I would deep fry them asparagus, for real!!! Lol…

Now the lasttime i got my folic up that following doctor’s visit i was with child…So, you know i’m already thinkin’ cain’t get no closer if dude sneezes on me.

By SexyCool

October 13, 2008 1:58 PM | Link to this

seanj…i know you didn’t say this…but if your motivation for getting involved in this type of care is strictly financial…it will not be a good experience for you…

By Blue_Kolla

October 13, 2008 2:00 PM | Link to this

Can I live with my EX?

Hayo Nah. Hayo to da Nahhhh!

By Foots

October 13, 2008 2:01 PM | Link to this

Blanca Well, if she’s been dealing with this for six months and it’s almost over, it’s a moot point.

But hey, if dude was unhappily dating this other girl for 2 years, I wonder why would they keep signing leases together?? Someone else asked this already, but did things sour in the 6 months between the re-signing of their lease and him meeting ol’ girl, or did him meeting ol’ girl speed up the souring?

By SeanJohnson.3000

October 13, 2008 2:06 PM | Link to this

@ Kym…thanks…reason i asked…i come home from traffic court..and the lady a few doors down has all her shyt in the front yard..evicted/foreclosed..and i KNOW she had atleast 4 mentally handicapped adults living there….i’m like the fluck she doing with the money..

By SeanJohnson.3000

October 13, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this

@ SxyCool…nah…if was to do something like that..it would be strickly out of love for people not money…but on a side note…hook ya boy up with a buddy pass…and i will give u some “old guy” off repellant and you can ride marta in peace.. an even swap aint no swindle..

By Cemeeli

October 13, 2008 2:20 PM | Link to this

‘sup Blue.

Now this example is if you were single and no kids.

What if she set you up real proper like in the poolhouse and told you, rent free (including funiture, utilities and meals) just so she has a male around/live in for that ‘last minute change’? <— fill in the decode urself on that one. See: Stedman and Oprah’s chronicles.

By Foots

October 13, 2008 2:22 PM | Link to this

SeanJ i come home from traffic court..and the lady a few doors down has all her shyt in the front yard..evicted/foreclosed..

Did she rent or own? I keep hearing stories about renters being put out without notice due to foreclosure. Like the homeowners get the renter’s money and don’t pay the mortgage…

By Blanca

October 13, 2008 2:27 PM | Link to this

Foots Someone else asked this already, but did things sour in the 6 months between the re-signing of their lease and him meeting ol’ girl, or did him meeting ol’ girl speed up the souring? I am with you on this and don’t have an answer. I’m torn between pushing my friend on this issue even more than I have for the past few months. I’ve met him and he’s terribly shy and conflict-adverse, which makes me wonder if he just doesn’t have the backbone to handle his business like an ideal man would.

By Blue_Kolla

October 13, 2008 2:32 PM | Link to this

‘Sup Cee…

Foots I keep hearing stories about renters being put out without notice due to foreclosure.

Yeap, NEVER rent a crib unless you have at least one months rent and security deposit on chill at the bank. Stay prepared, and keep a plan B, C, aaand D.

By Cemeeli

October 13, 2008 2:41 PM | Link to this

Yeap, NEVER rent a crib unless you have at least one months rent and security deposit on chill at the bank.

Or calcualte your expenses & no more than 1/3 of your income should go for monthly payments morgage or rent. If more than that, re-visit plan.