Misadventures in Atlanta

By Raqi

October 14, 2008 8:43 AM | Link to this

Essential qualities are based on individual preferences. There are certain things that I may feel are essential in a mate that you may not. So there is no definite meaning of the words, just what each individual desires or deem to be a must have for them.

Now yes I do agree that misrepresentation should be grounds for annulment and divorce. When a potential love interest tell you what they desire in a mate and you misrepresent yourself as being such you are cheating that person. It’s unfair.

This is the very reason you have to take the time to get to know people. Outside of something like still having your virginity, a person’s life and actions tell it all. If a person claims to be successful you should be able to see evidence of that success after spending time with them. If a person claims to be cultured in certain subjects…it’s only a matter of time.

By MELO

October 14, 2008 9:05 AM | Link to this

I do agree that misrepresentation should be grounds for annulment and divorce Our whole lives are premised on putting the best foot forward(meaning the foot left behind has a lot of dirt on it).From applying for jobs,to getting a contract and to getting dates.Lyfe is a game of impressions.U’all havent figured that?? Some of the best CEOs running multi billion companies attended school at Ivy leagues,only in their dreams.Thats what their CVs say and they have earned millions!! If u are waiting for the perfect Prince,keep waiting.There is noone.You settle for what you think you can deal with.Thats how it goes.

By Raqi

October 14, 2008 9:09 AM | Link to this

Religion is a biggie. If you are not a true worshipper stay out the church trying to snag that Christian partner. You are lying to and deceiving that person who is truly seeking a worshipping mate.

This is the same as people that go different places and do different things in hopes of meeting a mate. The problem is when it’s not something that you really like or normally do. Chances are once that person finds that someone they will began to feel it is no longer necessary to continue the façade. While the one that they met may still enjoy the activity, it soon becomes a bore or nuisance for the imposter.

In my younger days I tried to like certain things or be a certain way to attract a desired love interest, but it just gets old and tiring. I don’t like football. I’ve been to a few a games. But when and if I met someone there I found that it was better to let them know up front that I don’t do sports. The time that I didn’t it came back to bite me in the hiney. I am so not the right person for a man who wants his woman to enjoy the art of the game in the same way that he does.

By Raqi

October 14, 2008 9:22 AM | Link to this

The thing is Melo while some may give you a pass and let you continue on once finding out the truth, it is still right for the one who choose not to let you go. The same with the business world in the example that you gave. The corporation has the right to let you go when and if they found your credentials to not be valid. Some will and some wont.

Let’s say when you met your wife she told you that she didn’t have any kids, but after marrying her you found out that she has a son that she now wants to bring in to live with you all. Your desire and right to marry a woman without kids was taken away from without your knowledge. Therefore you have the right to undo the whole situation.

By AmazonRed

October 14, 2008 9:33 AM | Link to this

And say, for instance, you dated someone who claimed to be successful, only to discover he or she was deeply in debt.

I have a lot of successful friends who are deep in debt. The perils of private law or medical school bills. Not the best example, especially since this implies that success is measured by money.

But yes, I think essential qualities are based on the individual. And not being truthful about them is grounds for dismissal.

Good morning everyone!

By Kym

October 14, 2008 9:44 AM | Link to this

How would you define essential qualities; are they physical attributes, such as virginity in the aforementioned example? Are they spiritual or emotional qualities?

*I am going to answer this the way I think most of the political candidates should answer things these days..I have no freaking clue what is a essential qualitiy for me. What is essential for one is not essential for someone else.

I have dated the spectrum and honestly other than me not all of these guys have a thing in common. Some were lazy, some so driven for success that they would rather work than have sex(yes this man does exist), some fun loving and kind, and some b******* of the highest order. I think we all run around thinking this is my laundry list and as I find this quality I will check it off the list. Once all the boxes are check—-WE HAVE A WINNER FOLKS!! NOT! Just because that person has that qualitiy today doesn’t mean they will not show you a darker side of their mood tomorrow.

We are human beings with multiple parts to our personalities. Heck I can’t even say height is a essential quality I look for in a guy because I have dated short guys. —tall maybe prefered but it is not always a essential quality. (BTW the short guy was the b*******-short man complex)

By Raqi

October 14, 2008 9:51 AM | Link to this

We all have a right to the must haves we desire, that I would hope are beyond the one-dimensional. We have a right to be with someone that shares certain qualities with us that we hold dear to our hearts. Those things that move and shake us. And to have that taken away or withheld based on lies is just plain deceitful. Yes people lie and embellish but some things there are no compromising factors for. Mutual ethics and spirituality are important traits that I feel I must have in a mate.

By SexyCool

October 14, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this

i believe that some people misrepresent themselves by default…

that is to say that they don’t intentionally or consciously set out to mislead people…when meeting someone new who doesn’t know your history, behaviour patterns, true character, etc. during times of pressure…you are able to present your best self…or the person that you strive to be or even the person you want to be…your fantasy self…(kinda like the fantasy sports leagues…)

however…time and pressure (nod to tazzee) will reveal your true identity…the things that are ingrained about you that you cannot change (without much effort) and your truest nature…

By twinkle

October 14, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this

Do u think lying about your age is grounds to terminate a relationship? I really cant help it, I lie about it to men & women, or rather I dont exactly tell the truth.

By AmazonRed

October 14, 2008 10:33 AM | Link to this

Do u think lying about your age is grounds to terminate a relationship?

Yes.

By Beautiful

October 14, 2008 10:38 AM | Link to this

blanca with kp’s permission, i submitted this topic to you. i jumped on his blog one night and was blown away at what he posted that week. good stuff.

MLL you got mail!

By MELO

October 14, 2008 10:44 AM | Link to this

twinkle how old are u truthfully??????

By Raqi

October 14, 2008 10:47 AM | Link to this

Lying about your age can be grouped with lying about your gender. What if you got with a man just to find out a year later that he was born a woman?

What benefit is it to lie about your age?

By MELO

October 14, 2008 10:47 AM | Link to this

or the person that you strive to be or even the person you want to be if i maintain that which u have seen but do have a history of contrary behavior,wld that matter?? Would u look at my history, based on what u find out or is revealed later and decide to change ur mind about me or u will give me a pass.SexyCool and Raqi, am looking frward to ur responses.

By AmazonRed

October 14, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this

Lying about your age can be grouped with lying about your gender.

Or sexuality! LOL

By Poppa Grande

October 14, 2008 11:01 AM | Link to this

Do u think lying about your age is grounds to terminate a relationship?

Yes, if you will lie about something as insignificant (& something over which you have no control) as your age, I would begin to wonder what else would you lie about.

Also, it reveals a major insecurity. There are people out there that love women of all ages. Why lie about it?

By SexyCool

October 14, 2008 11:06 AM | Link to this

melo…your history will not matter to me as much as how you conduct yourself with me, respond to pressures in your life, handle your business and yourself…and so on…

i strive not to judge you on your past history but measure you based on your present actions…

for example…if you say that you are laid back and mild mannered (because that’s what you believe about yourself)…but then as soon as you are put in unfamiliar surroundings, you start acting all uptight and overwrought…then you are not who you said you were…

if you say you are athletic (because you plan on getting started on that work out plan tomorrow or because you used to play ball in high school)…but as soon as you get with me…the only thing you lift regularly is a fork and the only place you run to is the store in your car…then you lied…

if you say you’re into politics (because you’ve been planning on volunteering for the obama campaign)…but then i find out that you’re not even registered to vote…that’s a misrepresentation…

you may have the best of intentions to be all of those things and more because you really and truly want to be…but until you are, you’re not…

By MLL

October 14, 2008 11:43 AM | Link to this

We all have essential qualities, our quality defines who we are. While some people display their qualities in a more profound way than others, some have to learn how to use them and put them into practice. One essential quality that I look for in a man is loyalty. You can’t go wrong there, his relationship with God, family, friends means a lot - he cares about commuinty. You can’t go wrong with a loyal person. Always got ya back. That’s a quality I posess myself and to be with someone who doesn’t display loyalty just won’t cut it.

Hiding your age can only work for so long…sooner than later nature will begin to take it’s course.

Hiding sexuality - that’s a toss up

By Kym

October 14, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this

SexyCool for example…if you say that you are laid back and mild mannered (because that’s what you believe about yourself)…but then as soon as you are put in unfamiliar surroundings, you start acting all uptight and overwrought…then you are not who you said you were…

I am having trouble with this example because even the most calm person if put in a situation unfamilar to them would have some nervousness. How can that person be misrepresenting themselves when it is human nature to be nervous or upset? I mean if you know yourself to be laid back and calm but are faced with the prospect of finding a new job or interviewing for a new company that can cause nerves. Hell public speaking can make a calm person nervous. But again different strokes for different folks.

By Just Sayin

October 14, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this

What if I: 1. Wore butt pads to make my butt appear bigger.

But my personality and everything was on point am I misrepresenting/lying/deceiving? And you only discovered these things during our first sexual escapade. Does your persception change?

By SexyCool

October 14, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this

kym…i considered that after posting the example…better example…

if you say you’re laid back and mild mannered…but then start cursing and demanding to see the manager because the waitress brought a coke instead of sweet tea…then you’re not who you said you were…

By Kym

October 14, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this

Just Sayin I had a flash to that movie “I’m Going to get you Sucker” LMAO. Let’s add..

1.Wearing shoe lifts to make you taller. 2. Glasses to look more intelligent

By Tony

October 14, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this

I currently work in the video production/film industry. Within the last couple of years I’ve been getting steady work from clients in the “adult” industry. I always told myself I didn’t want to do that type of work (producing not starring) but the money is too good. Recently I’ve come across opportunities that will pay me more than I could ever imagine. My question is for the ladies. Would it be a deal breaker if you were to meet a guy like me that had it all together (financially, decent looking) but did the type of work that I do. I dont engage in any activities with the women, but I am on set right in the mix when its going down. Besides my job I consider myself pretty normal. What do you think?

By AmazonRed

October 14, 2008 12:05 PM | Link to this

My question is for the ladies. Would it be a deal breaker if you were to meet a guy like me that had it all together (financially, decent looking) but did the type of work that I do.

Tony, dealbreaker, I don’t know. It would give me pause most definitely. Especially since you seem to not have any definitive plan for it. Doesn’t sound like you really plan to quit til the money runs dry. I don’t want a guy who would necessarily do something just because it paid well.

And what would we say at office parties? LOL

By me

October 14, 2008 12:06 PM | Link to this

I would not ever date a guy who produced films for the adult industry.

By Foots

October 14, 2008 12:10 PM | Link to this

I have a lot of successful friends who are deep in debt. The perils of private law or medical school bills. Not the best example, especially since this implies that success is measured by money.

Amazon That is true. Somebody’s cash flow statement can be on point and their balance sheet severely lopsided in favor of liabilities. I have cousins like that, they make a lot of money, but have a WHOLE lot of student loans. The payments are low, but the balance is high. So they are DEEP in debt, but have more than adequate cash flow.

Just Sayin Same goes for a guy who wears a sock in his draws. I’d be disappointed when it was revealed to me that he was overstating his “position”.

But generally, those things you mentioned would be cause for dismissal only to those who were only attracted to those specific physical attributes. Many people can see past light eyes and long hair to see the true beauty of a person. And if Spanx is a problem, we should get rid of clothes altogether. Clothes themselves hide flaws if they fit right. When I have worn a weave and it was hard to tell that it wasn’t mine, I let folks know up front: This is attached to my head by thread, not by nature.

All that reminds me of I’m Gonna Git You Sucka….Don’t make me hop after you!!

By Just Sayin

October 14, 2008 12:10 PM | Link to this

Tony

I would suggest that you let the “said” female get to know you before you mention you occupation. Just leave it as, I work in media. Besides, there is no need to have someone all in your business til you have determined if the relationship is going any where.

Should you determine that the relationship is going somewhere…then slowly spring it on her. Hopefully, you have shown yourself to be self respecting, stand up guy and that will out weight your occupation. Then you need to focus on getting a new job, if you want to maintain the relationship.

But then again, gynecologist look at coochie all day too…and go home to their wife.

By For Real

October 14, 2008 12:12 PM | Link to this

Just You hit the nail on the head. Lying is lying. That’s why when women talk about men and their representatives they are talking out the side of their foot. Your point also goes back to my reasoning that women like to be lied to.

Sexycool Your example doesn’t make your point. Your environment will impact your behavior. Your example is like:

Dude: I’m a giving person. I donate to charities.

Chick: Wow that’s really cool.

Begging Azz Dude: Cuse me bruh can I get some spare change?

Dude: Hellz Naw!!! Get a spare job and then you will have some spare change.

Chick: OOOOOOO yousa liar. You said you were a giver!!!

Dude: WTF! Okay here!

Chick: What?

Dude: Deese!!!

By NY2GA, Inc.

October 14, 2008 12:14 PM | Link to this

@Tony I think it all boils down to finding a woman that can understand what you do for a living. To me, this is similar to dealing with a strippa. Some folks can handle it, others can’t. Would it be a dealbreaker for me? I don’t know. But, I can tell you that I’d have alot of questions to ask you before our relationship went any further.

On the flip side, at least your industry ain’t been affected by the recession! LMAO.

By Foots

October 14, 2008 12:14 PM | Link to this

Tony I always told myself I didn’t want to do that type of work (producing not starring) but the money is too good.

I was trying to think of an answer to your question, but Amazon found it for me: I don’t want a guy who would necessarily do something just because it paid well.

The question is: WHY have you always told yourself that this was something you never wanted to do? Does it go against your values and if so, would you continue to sacrifice your values “For the Love of Money”?

By Kym

October 14, 2008 12:16 PM | Link to this

Tony In my opinion your work is no different than the dude with the “porn cellar” at the house. You say you look but don’t touch so I would give you a pass.

Now you know the topic shift is about to change..

For Real, Melo, and Truth are going to ask you need volunteers.

Blue is going to ask if you have sample tapes or need someone to help with your editing.

And someone who will remain anoymous will ask if ya’ll hiring. LMAO

By Beautiful

October 14, 2008 12:17 PM | Link to this

MLL if i lied about my age, i would be 31 yrs old on june 22nd every year. lol. but i don’t. i tell the truth cause i want to attract men my age. RW is 36. when he found out i was 40 … the expression on his face said it all!

By For Real

October 14, 2008 12:17 PM | Link to this

Ared I don’t want a guy who would necessarily do something just because it paid well.

That’s 99% of the people working!

Come give a better answer than that. You would feel insecure because he worked with female porn stars and you scared he might trip on some equipment and fall into some puddy and then one night your daddy sneak off to his man cave to watch porn will see him and scream to yo mamma “Vivan!!! Doo-Doo fuggin with a porn star!”

Or something like that.

By Kym

October 14, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this

Amazon and Foots Unless you are willing to go to work tomorrow at your job for free, we are all doing something for the need, love, of the Cashola. One of the first things I learned from my high school teachers was to pick a career I would love even if I didnt get paid. Can tell you now this career I am in is not the one I would choose. But because I “need” the money, I work here because it pays me well, and has great benefits.

Necessity is the mother of invention and while Tony may love the working in films and may hope to do serious profound works(I am just assuming of course)a brother got to eat.

By SexyCool

October 14, 2008 12:32 PM | Link to this

for real…donating to charities and giving some random homeless dude on the street your money are two different things…if i were put in THAT situation i would do/say the same thing…i do not give beggars my money, but i will take them inside the sandwich shop on the corner and buy them a meal…

By Tony

October 14, 2008 12:33 PM | Link to this

I The question is: WHY have you always told yourself that this was something you never wanted to do?

I just never wanted my name to be affiliated with that line of work. I never said I didn’t have a plan, working in this industry is what funds most of my other endeavors. I feel like this is something that I’m doing that will help me get to where I want to be. This is not what I’m going to do with the rest of my life. I just hate giving people the disclaimer when it comes up. This is a very expensive industry to be in (film), and it’s my passion. Me making these sacrifices now is what is going to allow me to live a comfortable life later.

Ared, we would tell them the truth. I’m a video producer. We don’t have to discuss my clients, and I do get corporate business also so it’s not like thats the only thing I do.

By MELO

October 14, 2008 12:36 PM | Link to this

And you only discovered these things during our first sexual escapade. Does your persception change? Asbolutely,most guys get to know the real u,the morning after…Thats when they look at u and yell..OMG..OMG,get ota of my house!!! Tony what a cool job.The economy is killing me and i need a side job.Dont worry about the negative vive from females,i can do the PR stuff for u as well.Most females tho will feel very intimidated bu yr profession.U better off dating somebody in the industry. And Tony, im sure u have tapes i can buy on the low low as well..hit me up takpat78@gmail.com.

By Beautiful

October 14, 2008 12:37 PM | Link to this

i have ran into this a million and one times … why are men so attracted to older women? i know the obvious answer. but y’all act like you haven’t eaten in a week and someone just handed you a saltine cracker!

By Shannon

October 14, 2008 12:40 PM | Link to this

Yes, I think misrepresentation in SOME areas is grounds for dismissal. Things like wearing a padded bra- then your guy finds out there isn’t much there- no, probably not. Things like my ex did- telling me he agreed with me that credit cards should be for emergency use only or necessities, only to find out that he spent thousands on.. just crap- that was a dealbreaker for me. TONY- no, I would never date someone who had a job like yours. I can understand why you would get into that industry, but most women who respect themselves and will want respect from you are going to run the other way because you are involved in that.

By AmazonRed

October 14, 2008 12:41 PM | Link to this

Come give a better answer than that.

For Real, my answers are not given for your approval.

I wouldn’t feel insecure because he worked with porn stars. I look good enough to do porn, without having to do porn. My issue is more about supporting that type of industry. Most girls do porn because they feel they have no other skills to earn them that kind of money.

Besides, if he doesn’t give into temptation, I’d believe that until something happened to make me think otherwise.

Is that okay with you?

By SexyCool

October 14, 2008 12:47 PM | Link to this

ARed…I look good enough to do porn, without having to do porn.

i actually thought that was pretty funny…

By Foots

October 14, 2008 12:47 PM | Link to this

Kym Unless you are willing to go to work tomorrow at your job for free, we are all doing something for the need, love, of the Cashola.

Of course we work for money. But the question is, does working for that money compromise your value system? If I thought that ho-ing was wrong and I got a job as a ho because it paid well, I’d be compromising my value system for the love of money. That’s what I’m talking about.

Would I be willing to sacrifice my own comfort and desires (i.e. working at Wal-Mart with a Masters to pay the bills) to make a living? Yes.

Would I be willing to sacrifice my integrity and character (i.e. giving my body to strangers for cash or selling drugs to pay the bills) to make a living? No.

Some people work two jobs to make ends meet. Some people steal out of the house of the person working two jobs to make ends meet. There’s a difference in what people will do in order to make the money. That’s why I asked him about his values. They make the difference.

By MELO

October 14, 2008 12:50 PM | Link to this

women who respect themselves.. going to run the other way because you are involved in that. are u a virgin Shannon?? why are men so attracted to older women? think about the bed experience that ur ex has endowed on u beautiful??A younger guy will want to experience all that,thats heaven!! That is a route u need to consider.U add that with ur cooking skills,u wont go wrong with the next guy.

By Foots

October 14, 2008 12:51 PM | Link to this

Tony I just never wanted my name to be affiliated with that line of work.

This is a hard question to answer, I know, but WHY have you not wanted your name to be affiliated with that line of work?

By AmazonRed

October 14, 2008 12:51 PM | Link to this

Of course we work for money. But the question is, does working for that money compromise your value system? If I thought that ho-ing was wrong and I got a job as a ho because it paid well, I’d be compromising my value system for the love of money. That’s what I’m talking about.

As was I Foots, as was I.

By MELO

October 14, 2008 12:52 PM | Link to this

I look good enough to do porn u do it for ur S.O.Thats not funny sexxyC,that is sexxy,having that all by himself!!

By Kym

October 14, 2008 12:53 PM | Link to this

Amazon

Honey we support tons of industries daily that exploit young children..check your clothes if the tag says made in some third world nations chances are there was some young child sewing the stitches. but I digess. I am not for anything that exploits young kids. But grown behind women who no better..and can do better if they choose to? Nawww if all you working with is your azz then that’s better than not working at all. If they want the quick easy money then that is a CHOICE THEY MAKE.

Hell, porngraphic pictures have been around since the history of the world began and in every nation on this planet. They have Karma Sutra cravings on buildings in India.

By MELO

October 14, 2008 12:56 PM | Link to this

But then again, gynecologist look at coochie all day too…and go home to their wife good point!!

By Kym

October 14, 2008 1:00 PM | Link to this

Foots I understand where you are coming from about values. If it is against his value system than sure of course why sell out your core for a quick buck?

But if it is just a means to a end(which appears to be what Tony is saying) then like I said a brother got to eat or in his case work toward that next step.

By AmazonRed

October 14, 2008 1:00 PM | Link to this

Tony what a cool job

LOL @ melo

By Foots

October 14, 2008 1:02 PM | Link to this

Tony Just thought about something…

You don’t seem to be all that comfortable with what you are doing. If YOU are not comfortable with your current line of work, why would you expect a woman you’re dating to be comfortable with it?

You say you didn’t want your name associated with it, but if you actually thought it was honorable work, why wouldn’t you want your name associated with it? What harm do you think comes from having your name on the jackets of porn movies?

If you’re proud of what you do, that’s cool. If you are, you wouldn’t have a problem announcing it to the world and you’d dare them to have something negative to say about it. You’d be like, I wish a nikka would say something about my J-O-B!! You see how melo comes right and says that he wants a side job? That’s somebody who don’t give a dayum what anybody else thinks about what they like to do. And subject matter aside, that’s a good place to be. But if you feel like you have to hide what you do to continue to be accepted, then you might need to revisit why you have chosen to do it, and if it’s worth it.

By AmazonRed

October 14, 2008 1:04 PM | Link to this

If they want the quick easy money then that is a CHOICE THEY MAKE.

Kym Duh. And I can make the choice to not support their choice.

By SexyCool

October 14, 2008 1:10 PM | Link to this

tony…long as you make the money and the money don’t make you…let it do what it do…

i think it’s interesting as all get out…and i’m sure that you would have some entertaining azz stories to tell when i ask you how was work today?

By AmazonRed

October 14, 2008 1:10 PM | Link to this

I just never wanted my name to be affiliated with that line of work.

Tony, welcome by the way. And thank you for your honesty.

What does your mama think you do?

Foots does bring up some good points.

By Kym

October 14, 2008 1:13 PM | Link to this

AmazonRed

“Most girls do porn because they feel they have no other skills to earn them that kind of money.”

This was your pity poor mouth simple minded azz answer I just simply pointed out they make a choice no one is telling them to bend over and show the world.

Honey don’t swing your bat this way you not ready rookie.

By AmazonRed

October 14, 2008 1:17 PM | Link to this

This was your pity poor mouth simple minded azz answer

Keep it moving then. I stand by my answer, you don’t have to like it or agree.

By MELO

October 14, 2008 1:18 PM | Link to this

If YOU are not comfortable with your current line of work, why would you expect a woman you’re dating to be comfortable with it? there was a time i drove a shuttle van,transporting passengers to and fro coz i cldnt get my kind of wrk.I did it for the money,the economy was bad and the mortgage had to be paid.Its something i never admitted to doing to pple publicly coz i wasnt proud of it.Infact diring that period, my depression was very high.I think Tony is in the same predicament(tho not depressed,im sure and not surprisingly..hehehe),more so becoz pple like u and me may frown on that proffsion in public altho we utilize the services in pvt.Im sure Bishop Weeks and Juanita had their colection of porno at the house.They wont admit to it tho.Just the way our society is Foots

By The Truth

October 14, 2008 1:23 PM | Link to this

Tony, congrats on your position. Do you need an assistance that has no problem wallowing in the mud? LOL I promise to be on set promply or even before work begins.

Btw, if a chick doesn’t like the way you earn she’s always free to cover your bills.

KYM/Ared calm down ladies, its a beautiful day out. No need in gettting your knickers up.

By Mike D

October 14, 2008 1:24 PM | Link to this

All a guy needs for a successful date is a nice dinner out followed by making his gal a rufeytonic as a night cap. Also maybe a video cam to capture his vanquished date.

By m'karyl

October 14, 2008 1:26 PM | Link to this

Essential qualities vs Desirable traits…apples and oranges to me…the essential qualities that I prefer can not be feigned and the desirable traits are relative…but if a person misrepresents the truth, then that is a blatant lie…and regardless of the essential qualities or the desirable traits…the deal is nul and void because a liar is a liar…period…then there is no more foundation for trust…and that is the glue to any union.

By MELO

October 14, 2008 1:27 PM | Link to this

Most girls do porn because they feel they have no other skills to earn them that kind of money. u do actually have a point,in my view.If u analyze these kids backgrounds,they proly coming from hbroken homes or homes with families with no solid backgrounds.Or the quest to pay for school/living is so overwheling anf they currentll do not have the skills to allow them to get jobs that pay enough to accomplish what they wana do.A lot of times ur immediate environment dictates the advice u get and what u do in lyfe.

By AmazonRed

October 14, 2008 1:27 PM | Link to this

calm down ladies, its a beautiful day out. No need in gettting your knickers up.

Hey Truth, cool as a fan over here. I’m not even sure what set ol girl off, but it’s really not my concern.

Thanks for being the peacemaker tho.

By Chink

October 14, 2008 1:28 PM | Link to this

Afternoon!

I might be alittle late for the topic but oh well

But I so agree with Foots

Would I be willing to sacrifice my own comfort and desires (i.e. working at Wal-Mart with a Masters to pay the bills) to make a living? Yes.

Would I be willing to sacrifice my integrity and character (i.e. giving my body to strangers for cash or selling drugs to pay the bills) to make a living? No.

High 5 Gurl

Hey Leggs I responded to you as soon I could but been pretty busy.

By Foots

October 14, 2008 1:31 PM | Link to this

melo You gave a good example of how you felt, but driving a shuttle bus is not a bad thing. Some people claw their way into this country to drive a cab or shuttle. It shouldn’t have embarrassed you, and you should have told people to kiss your azz if they had a problem with it.

My thing is, if you’re going to do it, be able to own it and don’t run from it. All the drug dealers turned rappers mention what they used to do in their songs. They may not have been proud of it, but they were not trying to hide the fact that they felt they needed to do it, but eventually chose another route that they thought was more honorable.

I am against selling drugs, but I have dated people who have sold drugs in their past. They were able to say, “Look, this is what I did in the past, I know it was wrong and that’s why I joined the army/got a job/went to school so I could do something with my life. Pays less, but I felt better about myself.” That’s something I can respect.

By MELO

October 14, 2008 1:33 PM | Link to this

KYM/Ared calm down ladies, its a beautiful day out. No need in gettting your knickers up. u knw how ladies behave the moment they see Tony’s lights,camera,action…..

By AmazonRed

October 14, 2008 1:37 PM | Link to this

Its something i never admitted to doing to pple publicly coz i wasnt proud of it.

melo!!! LOL. After ALL the TMI you admit publically, THIS is what you don’t admit because you weren’t proud? LOL

You had nothing to be ashamed of, at least with the shuttle bus story! We’re still trying to save your soul on other matters tho. LOL

By MELO

October 14, 2008 1:44 PM | Link to this

Some people claw their way into this country to drive a cab or shuttle. a lot of cab drivers who happen to be foriegners are very educated but carry certificates from the *wrong countries.A lot of them got bad advice when they came otherwise they wld have prepared themselves adequatedly coz america does not reward foreign education,Period! Any ho, im proud of what i did during that period,moreso in retrospect,not when i was doing it.I saved my mortgage,did not get into major fights with my wife etc, but then,it seemed like i had sacrificed to go to school only to do a menial job.I was sick coz of it.Looking at some of compatriots who had better jobs than myself and in fact where in theor chose fields, it made me look like less of a man then.Its never a nice feeling and it requires strength of character and a steely determination to accomplish ones goals longterm.

By Tony

October 14, 2008 1:46 PM | Link to this

If you’re proud of what you do, that’s cool. If you are, you wouldn’t have a problem announcing it to the world and you’d dare them to have something negative to say about it

Foots

It’s not about that. I know the world we live in, and I also know the stigma that goes along with that industry. I don’t want my affiliation with it to hinder my other opportunities. Say I want to be involved in political advertising or some other line of work. I’m a filmmaker that is what I do, I’ll tell anyone who will listen about how much I love to produce film/video. My love of this art is what allows me to step into this world and do what I do. Once I get behind the camera it doesnt matter what I’m shooting, I just love my craft. I don’t have to tell everybody how I’m eating. It’s none of their business. My lady on the other hand is a different story. I want her to know who I am, I don’t care about anyone else.

Ared my mother actually knows what I do. I talked to her about it and she told me that I should get in and get out. She would support me no matter what but she said that I should just go ahead an get the money while I can. I don’t support her but I help her when she needs it. I don’t think people would really understand unless I told them how much money is involved. We’re talking an average persons salary monthly. I have humble beginnings so Im sorry, Im gonna eat.

By MLL

October 14, 2008 1:46 PM | Link to this

Angie I don’t look anywhere near my age so going younger always work even when I tell my real age they still don’t believe me LOL

Tony working in the sex industry is a deal breaker for me regardless of how you represent yourself to me.

By AmazonRed

October 14, 2008 1:53 PM | Link to this

Once I get behind the camera it doesnt matter what I’m shooting, I just love my craft.

Well, Tony, let’s hope that it DOES matter what you are shooting. R. Kelly could call you next, lol. But yeah, with consenting adults I see what you mean.

The passion for what you do is why I wouldn’t automatically call your profession a deal breaker. Especially since you are upfront with it with your loved ones.

Besides, I admire people who have passion. I won’t lie and say I wouldn’t take issue with it, but I definitely wouldn’t rule someone out before knowing their whole story.

By MELO

October 14, 2008 1:57 PM | Link to this

I talked to her about it and she told me that I should get in and get out good and i knw ur Dad will say,thats my boy to his pals.Hes proud of u.U a lucky man.U got my email buddy?

By C tha 1

October 14, 2008 1:59 PM | Link to this

Tony….get money homie, don’t worry about the small stuff. Like you said get in and get out. When you said an average person’s yearly salary in a month…Maaan I don’t care how upright or virtuous a woman may claim to be, if she knows you to be a her equal she’ll get over the other stuff. If she can’t…well let just say M.O.B.

By Foots

October 14, 2008 2:04 PM | Link to this

melo it made me look like less of a man then.Its never a nice feeling and it requires strength of character and a steely determination to accomplish ones goals longterm.

If working hard doing an honorable job made you look like less of a man to some folks, then they don’t know what a real man looks like.

Tony You’re the only one who really knows how you feel. You could be producing educational videos for Zoo Atlanta, but you choose to be filiming folks flucking because it pays very well. And make sure you find your line of what you will and won’t do. If it’s a money thing for you, I know you’re aware that there is a progression into more risque porn activities that probably pays even better than what you’re being paid now. Money leads folks deeper in like the Pied Piper. Like R. Kelly says, “Follow me….” They don’t call him the Pied Piper of R&B for nothing.

Like others have said, do you. But while you’re doing you, be true to yourself.

By arkansas1

October 14, 2008 2:08 PM | Link to this

Wow!

This is a great topic! Wait what is the topic? Is it the porn industry and the ladies who do not make good decisions when it comes to making money?

Is it miss repin the job or yourself when it comes to dating?

Tony I am ready in the evening to provide camera support!

By Chink

October 14, 2008 2:09 PM | Link to this

Interesting ..is there anything more important than the almighty dollar??

I hear about this crusade for more money all the time and I fail to see the happiness.

By Leggs

October 14, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this

Good day everyone! Too much to read. Essentials are good character, good soul, can make me laugh. To misrepresent who you truly are will be grounds for termination. Be yourself and enjoy getting to know each other. There’s skeletons in everyone’s closet. No shame in my past cuz it has geared me up for my future with or without you!

By AmazonRed

October 14, 2008 2:24 PM | Link to this

Leggs, how did the luncheon go?

Did you say boss’s day was today? I got my boss a card but the displays said it was on Thursday, Oct. 16.

By Foots

October 14, 2008 2:24 PM | Link to this

Chink As the O’Jay’s said **For a small piece of paper, it carries a LOT of weight.” LOL

By C tha 1

October 14, 2008 2:24 PM | Link to this

EXCLUSIVE: McCain’s Latest Attack Add http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VIvduGp4qI&feature=bz302

By Kym

October 14, 2008 2:33 PM | Link to this

Tony Didn’t I tell you you would find willing workers here? Now Truth and Melo are going to be asking you to post when the next cattle call will be for..Booty Butt Cheeks Five. LMAO Do you honey…seems like you have your head on straight and pointed in the right direction.

Amazon you have a knack for saying whateva comes to your simple mind about others post but for some reason feel your little addition(your little duh comment) to pie is exempted for scrunity.

If I want to comment on your post I will and if you don’t like it holler back, holler long, or holler the f-up for all I care. No one is trying to change your mind(such as it is) so like I said before don’t swing your bat this way you are not ready stay your azz in your own damn lane.

By abc

October 14, 2008 2:36 PM | Link to this

Tony, participation in the production of porn is reprehensible. It should be a deal-breaker for any female; personally, I’d not associate with a porn maker, either.

If you’re any good at video and film production, I’m sure you can find a way to make a living making a legitimate product.

On topic, anything intentionally hidden that has serious impact on one’s spouse is grounds for annulment.

By AmazonRed

October 14, 2008 2:37 PM | Link to this

I said before don’t swing your bat this way you are not ready stay your azz in your own damn lane.

How bout you stay in yours. No one addressed you in the first place. If you don’t like my “duh” or anything I have to say, then maybe you should just ignore my posts all together. If not, prepare for a response from my keyboard. It’s really not a difficult concept, sweetheart.

By Leggs

October 14, 2008 2:43 PM | Link to this

Sorry to say lunch was horrible. I’m not a lasagna person and that’s what was on the menu. I’m sitting here right now eating a tuna sammich. Yeah, the actual date is Thurs. I thought it was today, my company acknowledged it today.

Welcome Tony. Where is your original post so I can read what you do and why you’re not happy????

By Blue_Kolla

October 14, 2008 2:49 PM | Link to this

Where dat durty azz Chink at?!

By AmazonRed

October 14, 2008 2:51 PM | Link to this

Thanks Leggs, sorry lunch was wack.

Check Tony’s 11:56. That’s what his initial post is about.

By MELO

October 14, 2008 2:52 PM | Link to this

I’d not associate with a porn maker, either. on religious/moral grounds?? Set the example then abc.Hypocrisy not allowed.

make a living making a legitimate product legitimate product??? Have u checked to see how much porn contributes to america’s gross domestic product or/and how many pple consume it wrldwide?? U dont have to like a product to concede the fact it is.Most of the customers are split 50/50 between Democrats and Republicans.Wld that console u?

anything intentionally hidden that has serious impact on one’s spouse is grounds for annulment. hard to prove intention and whats serious for u may not be serious to ur potential girl.

Im dissapointed by ur lone post today abc.Every line was contentious,controversial and not factual.U are one of the blog’s most informed blogger but not today.It must be something to do with Mccain’s polls!!

By Kym

October 14, 2008 2:53 PM | Link to this

By AmazonRed(This is You)

October 14, 2008 1:04 PM

If they want the quick easy money then that is a CHOICE THEY MAKE.

Kym(Thats Me) Duh. And I can make the choice to not support their choice.

See that is called a response and since I don’t see anyone else addressed in that response it would appear you were addressing that comment to me.

Therefore since you got cheeky with me I gave it right back..and even did you a solid and attached a warning shot. Like my granny says you may strut your azz over this way but you will crawl back.

By Foots

October 14, 2008 2:54 PM | Link to this

Tony Oh yeah, I forgot to answer the question. Yes, it would be a deal breaker.

Leggs Brief Recap: Tony is a porn filmmaker. His job pays him an average person’s yearly salary in a month and he’s been making adult movies for the last couple of years, so he’s a millionaire by now. He never wanted his name to be associated with this type of thing, and feels that it could impact the type of opportunities he wants to pursue in the future, but in the present, the money is just too good.

You got anymore Fanta left?

By SlimOne

October 14, 2008 2:55 PM | Link to this

Afternoon everybody! Just thought I’d drop in for a few…what it do?

By The Truth

October 14, 2008 2:58 PM | Link to this

Tony* porn stars and stay at home wives have alot in common. Both give up azz to have their bills paid. If you wouldn’t have a problem filming a SAHW don’t feel bad about filming a little horizontal mombo.

Half the regular bloggers will be selling sexual favors if McMcain gets elected anyway. LOL

I tell you. Some of us think we’re high up on the moral totem pole. We should take a moment and look at our lives.

By Mike D

October 14, 2008 3:01 PM | Link to this

I only require that my date have a nice rack, and a sweet box lunch to munch on.

By Leggs

October 14, 2008 3:03 PM | Link to this

Thank you very much ARed. Tony, to be honest that would be a tough call on whether that could be a dealbreaker. Simply put, I would simply have to get to know you and feel you. The vibe I get internally will let me know. Somewhat like being married to a gyn doctor. Just because you look at it all day doesn’t mean a thing if you got the “zing” solely for me. I know, corny!

By AmazonRed

October 14, 2008 3:03 PM | Link to this

Actually Kym you addressed me first today. So you left your lane to speak to me. That’s fine. Didn’t like the response. So what! Keep it moving.

I’m not afraid of whatever you have to say over your keyboard. Get a clue. Say what you got to say or move the heck on already. No one cares about your silly cyber threats. Chile please.

By MELO

October 14, 2008 3:05 PM | Link to this

Some of us think we’re high up on the moral totem pole. We should take a moment and look at our lives. say that again Truth,meanwhile im off to a meeting..i dnt wanna be in there.Want to be here wit u and see who else is competeting wit with me and Truth for Tony’s volnteer jobs.

By Leggs

October 14, 2008 3:10 PM | Link to this

Thank you Foots, I keeps cases of Fanta. Come sit over here w/me. Kym, loved what your granny would tell you.

By Kym

October 14, 2008 3:12 PM | Link to this

Amazon Sorry my apologies maybe those “examples” were a little to “much” for your short bus azz. Got to remember to Keep it Simple When Dealing with Stupids.

By Cemeeli

October 14, 2008 3:13 PM | Link to this

…i bust the windows out your car. You know I did it cause I left my mark…i wrote my initials with a crowbar..la..la,la

Mo This ^^ song is your fault!Bad song, bad song!

Melo! Where your French self? *you still hadn’t post the station i’m searching.

1hr 40 minutes to go

By Tony

October 14, 2008 3:15 PM | Link to this

abc If you’re any good at video and film production, I’m sure you can find a way to make a living making a legitimate product.

It’s funny that you say that because I do make a living doing corporate and other “mainstream” work. This is just a part of what I do. Thats part of the reason I don’t tell everyone about this aspect of my business, so that I can do mainstream work. You shouldn’t be so judgemental, you don’t know what people are doing behind closed doors. I just happened to put my cards on the table. The adult industry wouldn’t be one of the most profitable if it didn’t have people patronizing it. This is not what I intended on doing but you have to put yourself in my shoes. I’m perfectly happy in my life. This is just a few of my many clients, and the checks don’t bounce in the adult industry. So yeah it’s about the money right now, but I know if half of the people that were in my position had the opportunities that I have they would’nt blink. I provide a service. Just like if you were a caterer and one of your clients was in the adult bizz. What if they were ordering more food than all of your other clients combinedX30. Your in business to make money right? You dont stop serving your other clients, but you surely don’t let your best client go. We all deal with things we don’t like while trying to make a living. At the end of the day I go home just like you do.

By Jenna

October 14, 2008 3:16 PM | Link to this

Like my granny says you may strut your azz over this way but you will crawl back

how old is this chick? and why is she trying to act tough on the internet?

By Cemeeli

October 14, 2008 3:16 PM | Link to this

What up Slim. Hope you’re okay.

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

October 14, 2008 3:22 PM | Link to this

Afternoon All! Too much to try and catch up on! But it really is too nice of a day for Blog Fights, come on ya’ll.

Cemeeli did someone sing my song?? LOL! Lil Mo says that..“Its a bad song mommy”.

By Kym

October 14, 2008 3:22 PM | Link to this

*By Jenna

October 14, 2008 3:16 PM | Link to this

Like my granny says you may strut your azz over this way but you will crawl back

how old is this chick? and why is she trying to act tough on the internet?*

Classic now all the lurkers and friends of the offended come out of the woodwork to make random comments.

By Blue_Kolla

October 14, 2008 3:23 PM | Link to this

Tony …but she said that I should just go ahead an get the money while I can.

All’at extra is nothing more than a female pimpin’ her own offspring; a most incredible state of affairs.

I don’t support her but I help her when she needs it.

I bet that’s pretty regula.

I don’t think people would really understand unless I told them how much money is involved. We’re talking an average persons salary monthly. I have humble beginnings so… blah blah

I could give less than a dayum about how somebody gets their money, but spare us all the “it’s art, I’m an artist” bull shyt. Tell it like it is and admit it’s about living swell. Be careful though ‘cause if you can be bought for a months salary, you can be bought for a minutes salary, just depends on the timing.

By Cemeeli

October 14, 2008 3:26 PM | Link to this

…k, yea, I’ll add some wanted “essential qualities”. He must be able to read, write, count, speak…etc… 2) He must get the ‘hayo on’ from time to time… (go somewhere and enjoy his self). 3) Be able to have some energy about life (live, love freely, laugh). 4) A heart after God’s own.

Most importantly, He must turn me on!

By Chink

October 14, 2008 3:27 PM | Link to this

BK

See I just came back from a meeting…what up …I aint durty!!

By MELO

October 14, 2008 3:27 PM | Link to this

Where your French self? *you still hadn’t post the station i’m searching. cee,i aint getting u…but that french has me wondering s lil…

some of u ladies are on cycle i can see..

By Cemeeli