By DreamsMaterialize

November 28, 2008 9:53 AM | Link to this

Morning Everyone Yeah I’m at work…empty in here though. Hope everyone had a good turkey day.

I think the atmosphere surrounding this time of year is probably what makes people want to share time with someone else. My mood doesn’t really change with the season though. I don’t want to be in a relationship now any more than usual. Just enjoying single life.

By DreamsMaterialize

November 28, 2008 10:10 AM | Link to this

BLANCA Guess it’s just me and you in here today. lol Were we the only ones insane enough to come to work?

By Jason

November 28, 2008 10:18 AM | Link to this

The holidays make me even happier that I’m single. That way I don’t have to waste money buying presents for anyone. Wow, is it any wonder why I’m single? :)

By Blanca

November 28, 2008 10:18 AM | Link to this

Dreams I think so! How did we get the dreaded Black Friday work shift? I need to be holiday shopping! ;)

By La

November 28, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this

I am totally with Jason! Less money to spend! Less pressure to find the perfect gift! And, less time at the MALL! I could be single for that reason too, or maybe bc I say “totally” and abbreviate the word because, but maybe it’s bc I totally want to be! ;) Happy Holidays everyone!

By Elizabeth

November 28, 2008 10:33 AM | Link to this

I love being single and the season does not change that. In fact, I have more freedom than many couples as I can make choices without conferencing anybody. That said, I think being fine with your singleness depends on your focus. I never think of my self as “half” or “missing someone”. My glass is definately full. And I enjoy my life by being committed to a cause I value very highly. Also, at Christmas, I focus on the less fortunate and donate to them. The best part of my Christmas shopping is for them and I cannot tell you how excited I get searching for the things they have requested! I love the smell of Frazier Fir trees and the entire spirit that comes with the season. As far as socializing, well, I usually pull the Holiday shifts at work because I have no family here, my co-workers do, and the pay is teriffic. So remember Jesus is the reason for the season and have a happy holiday.

By Angie

November 28, 2008 10:35 AM | Link to this

i am lonely at holiday time, BUT i’m determined to not just be with anyone. i can wait. waiting.

By Blanca

November 28, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this

Jason The holidays make me even happier that I’m single. That way I don’t have to waste money buying presents for anyone. I totally understand that; I’ve enjoyed keeping a little extra cash in my pockets the past couple years for that reason. But this year? Oh dear…

By La

November 28, 2008 10:45 AM | Link to this

BlancaI’ve enjoyed keeping a little cash in my pockets the past couple years for that reason. But this year? Oh dear… I hope your new boyfriend dosn’t read your blog. Don’t want any emotional guys in your life talking about how “don;t worry you don’t have to get me anything” when really he saw what you wrote in your blog. lol I know it was ll in good fun but u know how it goes… ;) In reality you will find him teh best gift, you will know exactlly what he wants bc you will pry and then it will just be about forking up teh chedder to get it. Its always somthing expensive with guys…something that involves a plug and an instruction manual. lol

By ATLien

November 28, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this

The pressure of being single is most evident during the holidays because you are visiting friends and family, who make it a mission to point out your loneliness. “All I want is a grandchild!”, is what I hear the most. But I will find my soulmate in the Highlands one of these days.

By Blanca

November 28, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this

La He doesn’t read it, thankfully. I only recently told him that it exists… and yes, still brainstorming the perfect gift. I’m going to start the season by surprising him with a decorated tree in his home, something he hasn’t had in years. I’m a Christmas junkie.

By Angie

November 28, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this

and i realize what has brought this nonsense on. before the relationship, i was happy spending the holidays with just family and friends. now that i have gotten a taste of how it feels to be with someone, depending on that person to be there … sitting by your side at thanksgiving dinner and opening up your eyes on christmas morning to a small pretty little box staring you in the face.

if i can get that feeling back! that independent single feeling. the feeling that my cup is full. the feeling that a man is not needed.

By La

November 28, 2008 11:00 AM | Link to this

Angie damn girlie, don;t be so hard on yourself! Life is too short to wait around for others you have to enjoy every little minute of it now, don;t wait just do, when you are out there, it happens… so cheer up, bc before you know it your life is passing you by. BlancaThat’s awesome! I guess it was one of those “wait what do you do for s living?” moments. lol So you are safe for atleast a couple weeks until he gets bored and curious…The tree idea is nice, guys love that, bc they get a tree like they had when they were kids and they don’t have to do any of teh work, just like a mom…good one :)

By Angie

November 28, 2008 11:01 AM | Link to this

She mentioned that she’s particularly down spending the day as a single woman watching others in love.

that’s tough for me also. prolly cause i desire it. im very excited about whoever he may be. :-)

By Angie

November 28, 2008 11:04 AM | Link to this

La i know my posts read as a downer, but it’s not like that at all. lol. i’m good! you good?

By La

November 28, 2008 11:06 AM | Link to this

And I am totally with u and Dream, how the heck did I end up at work and yes I must be crazy bc I am blogging! So bored! I could be doing somthing important like working off that turkey dinner, or getting my nails done! ;) lol Or cleaning my house! Better yet, I could be with my family.

By Angie

November 28, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this

like i stated last week, i’m single by choice. i have made a decision to just not be with any ol’ body. i know what i want … i know what i’m looking for.

By La

November 28, 2008 11:12 AM | Link to this

Angie I am glad you are good! I am always fabulous! Thank you for asking!

By tyler

November 28, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

i think it sux being single this during the holidays. of course this comes from the perspective of someone who is spending his second straight christmas in a perpetual state of separation from my wife of 14 years.

she doesn’t want a divorce, but also doesn’t want to be together. i guess i am an idiot for not going ahead and filing the papers myself. maybe i’m holding out for a holiday miracle..lol!

happy holidays to all the single (and semi-single) folks!

By Elizabeth

November 28, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this

Many of these comments are on the down side. What can help is to realize that happiness comes from a thankful heart and not from another person.

By Angie

November 28, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

La why don’t you use your real moniker? :-/

anyhoo, no female will ever convince me that their happy single. stop it already! who are you guys trying to fool? it’s not natural. for a man, yes. a woman, no.

By JP

November 28, 2008 11:24 AM | Link to this

This is my first holiday season in about 18 years being alone, and I must say…it SUX so far. :-( Oh well, whatever doesnt kill us right? (and yes, im stuck at work too) HA!

By Kathy

November 28, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this

I have heard plenty of guys complain about being single during the holidays. I have been married and now single. I have no problems and I know plenty of ladies single, divorced and widowed that are doing just fine in there singleness= holidays or not. We are not as needy as the fellas!

By Angie

November 28, 2008 11:33 AM | Link to this

Liz if my comments are such a downer, blanca knows what to do!

By Kathy

November 28, 2008 11:33 AM | Link to this

I have heard plenty of guys complain about being single during the holidays. I have been married and now single. I have no problems and I know plenty of ladies single, divorced and widowed that are doing just fine in there singleness= holidays or not. We are not as needy as the fellas!

By The Truth

November 28, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this

Whats up folks.

Being single over the holidays is the best. You can get in touch with old friends of either sex without conpsiracy theories being passed around.

Also, its a great tiem to reflect on what you’ve done and what you plan for th future.

Finally, I give myself the best gifts so I’m always happy. Just got my gift on wednesday. LOL

Thanksgiving was perfect. Took the dogs out for an hour, hit the gym, then over to sisses house for food. Ate good but didn’t overeat. life is good.

By La

November 28, 2008 11:36 AM | Link to this

Angie my name is Lauren, but I have grown up always being called La or Lala. Just how it goes. lol. Now for the real comment, Angie that is blasphemy! Its cool to say you can’t understand being sinlge and as a woman you do not want to be single but to say that gender rears its ugly head and makes it impossible for woman to enjoy not being a couple and men are content, come on now gurl! There are so many guys that I know that “just want to be in a relationship” but then I have girlfriends just like me that are just living life, I date, I had a boyfriend for over 6 years and I woke up one day and even though I loved him I broke up with him, we were great, I was just ready for a new chapter. Being single is’t bad its not the smae as being alone and I think that is were people get confused, I am so blessed to have a large group of friends, a crazy family and dates, but as for the exclusive relationship, for teh last 2.5 years, honey I have loved just being me. And, dont even tell me I am being selfish. YOu want to date trust me they are out there and honey the men want ya! ;)

By Angie

November 28, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this

I date. exactly!

dinner was wonderful yesterday. i ate five times! lol. we visited my daddy’s home and my best friends home. yams was off the chain and my mom’s sweet potato pie was to die for.

By La

November 28, 2008 11:46 AM | Link to this

tyler by the way, I am just curious, do you consider yourself semi-single? I mean does that even exist? Maybe just for those who agree that humans are not monogomous by nature. But Angie would probably tell you only woman are ;) Totally teasing you gurl! I am sure you don’t feel single and I hope you start to feel better about your situation. I hope you get your miracle. Take care.

By Angie

November 28, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this

Lauren i would love to debate with you over a cup of hot cocoa. lol. and while we shop of course. this is black friday ya know.

By La

November 28, 2008 11:54 AM | Link to this

Angie what do yoyu mean by targeting out, “I date” trust me honey, its not serious. I use that term VERY loosely!By date I mean I am single and loving it, trust me, the dating I do is not love,in fact its probably not what u think…no candlelight dinners and movies…no maam, not for this woman. its just fun. And, please don;t take that the wrong way either. lol

By dateless

November 28, 2008 11:54 AM | Link to this

I don’t mind being single for the most part. It sure beats being with someone who is wrong and/or an unheathly relationship. I agree friends and family are wonderful at this time of year, but when you don’t have any family left and you have limited friends and/or the ones you have are surrounded by their own family it makes it difficult. For example you get invited over to have dinner with their family, but the whole time you feel like you are invading a family visit and everyone is making small talk to keep you entertained. This time of year is especially hard for me because I miss my family (as disfunctional as it was). You see couples everywhere, families out shopping and every movie or commercial emphasises togetherness. Sigh. This is why I want to just curl up in a ball and hide from November until after New Years.

By La

November 28, 2008 12:08 PM | Link to this

angie please enlighten me. Trust me, you wonlt change my mind and you wonlt make me want to go find a man, but I am always open to pthers opinions and why you think its a debate anyway…you must be talking about how woman are pre-disposed to HAVING to be in a relationship…lol…sorry hun but it simply is not true. The first thing to accept as a single woman yourself in this debate is tha there are always going to be single woman like myself that get asked on dates…but really simply don’t want to go. Simply stated, as my many, many girlfriends say aboout me, ” I am the guy” and no I dont go home and secretly wish I was taken. I am me. Some woman want that, and thats cool, some of my closest gurls are married, some in serious commited relationships, some dating and some just being single. Simply stated I am not the woman that wonder if he will call, I don;t go out for men, I don;t get dressed for men ( trust me hunny, I get dressed for fashion, the whole reason for going out, ask Andy Warhol) ;) And I don’t give men my number, I don’t wonder if they are interested or not. I am just me. What defines me is not what defines you. What drives me is not what drives you. I love what you do not love. I am me and you are you. I love men. Just do not want another half. Who knows someday that may change. Its just not who I am right now.

By Angie

November 28, 2008 12:41 PM | Link to this

Lauren it’s a feeling. that’s all it is. the outer exterior is not what i’m blogging about today. if you were to see me in person, at work, you would prolly see yourself. i’m not walking around like some wounded puppy. lol. i’m posting about what i feel is natural. what a woman feels as natural.

By Angie

November 28, 2008 12:43 PM | Link to this

Who knows someday that may change.

how old are you?

By La

November 28, 2008 1:02 PM | Link to this

Angie I never implied you were wounded ever. I feel you. It is what is natural to you and I was saying what is natural to me. Thats all. No harm no foul. I’m 26, how old are you? I knew you would ask that as soon as I wrote that sentence, now you can tell me I am too young to know anything. lol ;) Age is just a number. Life experience is a whole other ballgame. :) c’est la vie. ;)

By Angie

November 28, 2008 1:08 PM | Link to this

Lauren that’s where you’re wrong. lol. you are feeling what you’re suppose to be feeling at 26. that’s why we are not having the meeting of the minds. you should be having fun right now. i know i did.

By La

November 28, 2008 1:10 PM | Link to this

How old are u?

By Angie

November 28, 2008 1:14 PM | Link to this

i’m 40 years young! lol. you’ll see that most of the regulars on here monday thru friday are between 30 and 50. fyi.

By Blanca

November 28, 2008 1:20 PM | Link to this

La I’m not much older than you, and as The Truth will want to tell you, I’ve had a lot of fun in the past two years. (But dang, don’t think as much fun as he believes. ;) Didn’t need or particularly want a boyfriend, just wanted to date and get to know people and really hone in on what I’m looking for. And I think I found it!

By Angie

November 28, 2008 1:21 PM | Link to this

in your early 30’s is maybe when you’ll start to see where i’m coming from. and that’s the perfect time to start looking at him instead of past him. ;-)

By just sayin

November 28, 2008 1:26 PM | Link to this

okay i was feeling semi-depressed seeing someone reached out to me this week that i so have feelings for but we’ve supposedly moved on. get to work only to find out someone tried to throw me under the bus. only to come and see angie’s posts are the center of today’s discussion. boo hoo hoo hoo. will it get any better? i was checking out the blog to see if the topic was light and i could grin a time or two guess not. will come back after angie quiets down. bah hum bug

By La

November 28, 2008 1:59 PM | Link to this

Justsain Just smile! :) Angie You are as young as you feel, I truely beleive that! I think justsayin is having a bad day, so no worries, we all have them. YOu will find that special someone when u are least expecting it Angie. He is out there, in fact some can find a “soulmate” on about every 10 blacks. ;) But really, you r are extrodinary and I do not need to know you to know that. So whatever is happiness for you I know you will find it. Just don’t sit home, bc you won’t find him on tv or in a magazine. Some of the most amazing men I have met have been in the least expected places.

Blanca Sounds like you may have! And that is awesome! If it works and it isnt work then it is right.

I think what is most important to all of us no matter what our status is, single, divorced, widowed, looking, dating, just having sex, or married its that we have found happiness within ourselves and you walk down the street or down the hall and you just smile, just because you can, bc u know u are fabulous and u know the people in your life know that too. :)

By Angie

November 28, 2008 2:04 PM | Link to this

are my posts that bad? lol. just sayin’ it’s not my fault that you got screwed over. it is what it is mommie.

By La

November 28, 2008 2:10 PM | Link to this

angie obviously u didnt read what I wrote above… lol. Its Friday gurl lets just take a deep breath and enjoy it. :)

By Angie

November 28, 2008 2:14 PM | Link to this

i just reread my posts and don’t regret one word!

my gurl just came in the door. we’re window shopping today. and she’s driving. it’s about time. shhh. lol.

By Angie

November 28, 2008 2:18 PM | Link to this

Lauren i read every word you posted.

By justsayin

November 28, 2008 2:26 PM | Link to this

bye angie. oh, my apologies. i was just not prepared for the same ole bullcrap we usually read but for something lighter. i guess though, for different results, i’ll have to wait til you leave or bypass or come back with others are blogging. i’m sorry angie i’m just blue today. you was just the typing target.

By Rebel

November 28, 2008 2:28 PM | Link to this

My husband walked out on me a few months ago to hook back up with an old girlfriend(they both had cheated on each other) in a state where we have no family. It’s been very lonely and rough, but God sent me a 4 year old very insecure cat(lol). She’s been my baby ever since and makes sure she takes up as much as my time as she can. Don’t know what i’d done without my girl.  Happy Holiday’s to ALL. We’ll all be fine!

By dana

November 28, 2008 2:29 PM | Link to this

This is the time that your married friends have to spend more time with their family and it puts a damper on the things you can do with them. Example being yesterday. Any other day, it would have been a regular work day, workout day, and time on the phone talking about whatever. Since it was a holiday, there was no work, no talking on the phone about whatever. It was a time to be with family, extended family, etc. So it makes a difference when your family is not here. but all is good, if your family is not here, you find things to do that are important to you. Or only hang with single friends who dont have family in town.

By Angie

November 28, 2008 2:32 PM | Link to this

it’s called staying on topic! eyeroll.

to the rest of you, happy holidays!

By Blanca

November 28, 2008 2:55 PM | Link to this

Rebel Oh my! So sorry to hear that, but it sounds like you are better off without that drama. I’m so happy a kitty can warm your heart!

By Rebel

November 28, 2008 2:57 PM | Link to this

Hey to “The Truth”, word! Yeah, (we) you got it right. It’s all good—not so bad being alone. Peace.

By diana

November 28, 2008 3:24 PM | Link to this

And I prefer not to have anybody!!! It is good be be alone and like being alone. Peace is a wonderful thing. You miss it more when you don’t have it.

By johnntennessee

November 28, 2008 3:27 PM | Link to this

I think it’s what you make it out to be…if you focus on being single and how wonderful it would be to be in a relationship then you take a chance on being depressed. The holidays should be approached as any other time of the year…one should be happy to be alive, in good health, and able to give to help others. Life is never boring. There is always interesting things to do and interesting people to see…we cannot focus on what we don’t have and expect to be happy. Focus on what you have…that way your will reflect happiness in your mood and if a great person comes along that is what they will see on your face. What we reflect is what we attract.

By bronco

November 28, 2008 4:29 PM | Link to this

Misery at the holidays without someone is better than misery everyday of the year with someone.

By sammysatisfied

November 28, 2008 4:35 PM | Link to this

The problem isn’t the satisfied singles; it’s the smug married people with/without children who think the world revolves around them. Reading these posts, most of us seem happily single But from the comments and judgments we get from those coupled up (one half of them miserable living in an emotionally empty domestic timeshare wondering “Is this all there is”) you’d think we’re SUPPOSED to be unhappy. One dumb co-worker actually once said “I hope your holiday isn’t just you and your child.” Like that’s a bad thing? So what if it was, we’d be happy! (And it wasn’t just us. Because the happily single know how to surround themselves with loving people at the holidays!)

By Jennifer

November 28, 2008 4:39 PM | Link to this

I am actually ok with being single at Christmas. I have great friends and if my son happens to be at his Dad’s for the holidays then that means I can spend all day in my pj’s lounging on the couch and not having to get up at 4 am to open presents (which I do so love to see his face when he is here - but that will come on another day.) I love my life being single and long ago come to the terms with the fact that I am single and I embrace all that comes with it. I’d rather be single than spend another holiday with my ex!

By lurker

November 28, 2008 5:04 PM | Link to this

John Bravo!!!

By arrifferm

December 1, 2008 4:15 AM | Link to this

Hi

Another great post…thank you for your continued contributions. I totally agree with your approach and conclusion.