By Dan

January 6, 2009 8:17 AM | Link to this

Whatever his justification for doing so, the man has stated his lack of desire for the continuation of this relationship. <—- The young lady now has informed consent.

Should she continue to pursue this man (emotionally, physically, mentally, etc.) and things fail to proceed as she would like them to; the day that he informed her of his lack of desire to pursue the relationship, is the day she made the choice to proceed despite this warning.

Thus, he is not a “dog”, he has not mislead her, she is at fault. And if she still passing out the treats, that’s on her too - as he is under no obligation to refuse an offer

My opinion

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 8:19 AM | Link to this

Morning all,

This reminds me of the time I dated a guy going thru a divorce. The whole ex-wife thing wasn’t a problem. The problem was that now that he was free (or almost free) he wanted to make up for last time and play the field.

Blanca’s friend is finally free. So he’s about to take full advantage.

I don’t blame her for hoping thing will change. I’ve definitely been there. But she should save herself the trouble and let him go. He might come back once his head clears and he’s able to focus. If not, it was for the best anyway.

By Stormy

January 6, 2009 8:40 AM | Link to this

It seems that your friend’s guy has told her exactly what he wants to do about the relationship, nothing.

She should let it go, totally disconnect…why hang on to someone who has told you he does not want you (isn’t ready to be tied down). If she tries to hang in there she is headed for heart break of her own making.

Generally, men will tell you exactly how they feel and sometimes as a women…we try to make them be what we want or need them to be which in the long run does work and ends up leaving the women feeling empty and hurt.

This maybe just an issue of timing. Perhaps at this juncture, the planets are not aligned and the timing is off…but nonetheless, she should not sit around waiting for him to change his mind or grow tried of globe trotting and wake up one morning with an epihany that she is the one and he crawls the floors of earth looking for her (fairy tale).

Just tell her to let it go.

By 2sunny

January 6, 2009 8:42 AM | Link to this

Good morning folks, way to go Dan you nailed it on the head. He informed her of his intentions or lack there of attention and she’s still seeing him on her own free will. I’ve been on both sides of the fence, either side wasn’t pretty either. Wtih all the time she’s invested in the relationship sometimes it’s just not so easy to walk away.

By DreamsMaterialize

January 6, 2009 8:42 AM | Link to this

Morning Blanca your friend is setting herself up if she continues to pursue. Be glad about the good times in the relationship and move on. Every good thing isn’t meant to be permanent, no matter how much we want it to be. In gambling if you don’t take your winnings and go home, you’ll eventually end up broke. Same will happen with your friend if she pushes it.

By 2sunny

January 6, 2009 8:46 AM | Link to this

Blanca got to give the guy props though he did tell her, most guys won’t even do that much. Which would hurt more? knowing or not knowing? Men sometimes say that women can’t handle the truth, this guy told her.

By Stormy

January 6, 2009 8:48 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Everyone

I started my rant without even speaking….sorry.

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

January 6, 2009 8:50 AM | Link to this

Whatever his justification for doing so, the man has stated his lack of desire for the continuation of this relationship. <—- The young lady now has informed consent.

Well Dan-0, appears that you and I think alike on this one. The reason is fruitless. Hence the problem, or shall I say the difference in men and women.

A woman will most times over-analyze a situation and attempt to manipulate the circumstances, all in an attempt to effect an outcome suitable to her wishes.

That’s ^^^ how you ladies end up as “fallbacks”.

That’s my Lady’s Tip to open up the 0-9.

By KP (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

January 6, 2009 8:51 AM | Link to this

I agree with Dan and Stormy. However, how does she let go of a relationship that she truly wants to be in? It’s very easy for us to provide that recommendation for Blanca’s friend, but letting go when things seem to be going well is a very difficult thing to do. My experience leads me to believe that she will probably stick around hanging onto the hope that things might change. As her friend I would tell her to move on, but a lot of people aren’t strong enough to do so.

By Raqi

January 6, 2009 8:51 AM | Link to this

There is no universal pattern of answers that is the right answer for every situation and every individual person. There are times in our lives where we find ourselves at certain crossroads and have to make a decision based on surrounding circumstances. We find that it may not be the same answer every time.

You know the saying “If you love somebody set them free (let them go)”. And with that goes “if they return back to you they are yours forever”. Both quotes are not true for every one but are spot on for many.

Our priorities change as we grow. Some times we encounter situations that we are not ready for and we need to let it go for something bigger and better. Some times there are things in our lives that we need to accomplish first in order to be better suited to take on other life situations.

There is no right answer. I am believer in I can accomplish certain things while having a partner along for the ride. And then there are others that have to be done without the space invader.

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 8:53 AM | Link to this

2sunny, I’m glad he communicated with her too, instead of stringing her along.

Random thought I had: Is breaking up when there is more good than bad similar to firing a coach when he has a winning record, yet can’t win a big one? LOL

(Still got football on the brain. Yay Texas - though I still don’t like them, I just really dislike OSU)

By Kym

January 6, 2009 8:59 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

Amazing how music picks up on life little issues. I was just listening to “Lie To Me” by Johnny Lang.

“If I can’t hold on to you. Leave me something I can hold on to. For just a little awhile want cha want cha let me dream.”

Blanca honey, your friend is leaving in a dream world and like Dan said he has fired his warning shot..she is just choosing to ignore it. Doesn’t make him a dog..just means she likes living the lie.

By Stormy

January 6, 2009 9:01 AM | Link to this

KP

You let go by hanging with your girls, concentrating on yourself, focusing on work, finding a hobby, reading books, in other words keeping busy.

Take time to heal,lick your wounds, learn from past mistakes/loves/losses and keep it moving.

By 2sunny

January 6, 2009 9:04 AM | Link to this

BK some women do over analyze things, you know good and well we grew up with the endig story of and they lived happily ever after.

Raqi there is a universal answer and it’s either yes or no. No grey area in between. Blanca’s friend need to step in the reality zone and see the relationship for what it is -NULL and VOID.

By Dan

January 6, 2009 9:06 AM | Link to this

@KP

If one were to look at any given relationship based purely on self-interest (as opposed to some romantic notion of “ever after”), then walking away is easy.

It’s no more difficult than deciding what to cook for dinner.

“Time invested”, “strong enough”, “letting go”, even “walking away” are all euphemisms for mitigating self interest. It is a biological and evolutionary imperative to be selfish. Human being would not exist today if not for the fight/flight response.

And while her life may not be on the line, her heart is. If she has chosen to sacrifice it to “time”, “love”, or whatever fantastic notion she has over her own self interest, it is on her.

By Leggs

January 6, 2009 9:06 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone. As stated, she has been told that “he loves her but doesn’t want to anymore so he’s pulling away.” The fact that she’s continuing to sleep with him and somehow thinks he may change down the road is making her look like a fool and desperate in his eyes. She has unwittingly informed him that he now can treat her anyway he wants to. If she really believes this—->Perhaps thinking she won’t find someone else and this drama is worth it, she needs to check her self-esteem level. Who the heck willingly wants a drama filled relationship.

You also ask is he sugarcoating. Hell no! He stated he doesn’t want a relationship. He doesn’t want to be tied down. He wants to sow his oats w/a guilt-free conscious whether it’s in town, out of town or around the world. Right now, she has since moved to the position of a jumpoff! Sadly, she’s letting him treat her as such. Hopefully, she’ll wake up soon and realize she deserves better! Some women are funny and refuse to read the writing on the wall. Sheesh, he spelled everything out for her and she still wants to act like they’re an item. As long as she stays in this quasi-relationship she will remain hurt turning to resentment turning to a hardened heart turning to being ALONE due to trust issues she brought on herself. That’s my take!

By WTF???

January 6, 2009 9:07 AM | Link to this

This dude is full of sh#t!!! Having his cake & eatin it too. She should cut all ties with this bum & find someone who’ll devote themselves to her.

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

January 6, 2009 9:10 AM | Link to this

Ared Random thought I had: Is breaking up when there is more good than bad similar to firing a coach when he has a winning record, yet can’t win a big one? LOL

Now that’s a serious thought, we do it all of the time - throw away nice keepers in search of that big whopper. You never know if you made the right move until you land that whopper or pull up a mudfish.

By Leggs

January 6, 2009 9:11 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone. As stated, she has been told that “he loves her but doesn’t want to anymore so he’s pulling away.” The fact that she’s continuing to sleep with him and somehow thinks he may change down the road is making her look like a fool and desperate in his eyes. She has unwittingly informed him that he now can treat her anyway he wants to. If she really believes this—->Perhaps thinking she won’t find someone else and this drama is worth it, she needs to check her self-esteem level. Who the heck willingly wants a drama filled relationship.

You also ask is he sugarcoating. Hell no! He stated he doesn’t want a relationship. He doesn’t want to be tied down. He wants to sow his oats w/a guilt-free conscious whether it’s in town, out of town or around the world. Right now, she has since moved to the position of a jumpoff! Sadly, she’s letting him treat her as such. Hopefully, she’ll wake up soon and realize she deserves better! Some women are funny and refuse to read the writing on the wall. Sheesh, he spelled everything out for her and she still wants to act like they’re an item. As long as she stays in this quasi-relationship she will remain hurt turning to resentment turning to a hardened heart turning to being ALONE due to trust issues she brought on herself. That’s my take!

By ImAPeach404

January 6, 2009 9:12 AM | Link to this

Good morning all

I don’t really have a comment on the situation as I am currently going through something similar to Blancas friend (although we weren’t as serious) - however, I’m not silly enough to think by continuing to see him, he will change his mind about our “status”.

While it is difficult to let go, the wise thing is to do just that. You guys have offered some good advice and some powerful words. Things I truly needed to read this morning. Thanks.

However, I do have one question/concern… men have you ever fell back from a situation and when the woman didn’t continue to pursue? Would that make you feel like she wasn’t interested in the first place and you made the right decision? Or, would you feel like she’s truly giving you the space you asked for and would appreciate it? And, have you ever taken some time from a woman and actually went back after you accomplished whatever it is that was holding you back to begin with?

By KP (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

January 6, 2009 9:12 AM | Link to this

Stormy/Dan, Great responses…I totally agree. I wonder if she’ll take heed though?

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 9:15 AM | Link to this

The fact that she’s continuing to sleep with him and somehow thinks he may change down the road is making her look like a fool and desperate in his eyes.

Dang Leggs, you’ve been rather harsh in recent assessments. I’m sure many of us are guilty of hanging on to relationships past their expiration date.

Just because he’s told her he doesnt’ want to be tied down , doesn’t mean that they still don’t have a lot of good going on in their relationship. Let’s also note, he could have been the bigger person and not responded to her.

I don’t think she’s foolish or desperate. It be different if she begging or wilding out. She’ll need time to let her feelings shut off. Hopefully she’ll start powering down the relationship.

By Kym

January 6, 2009 9:16 AM | Link to this

KP While alot of people are not strong enough to let go..they tend to become a “Perpetual Blues Machine”(its blues music Tuesday on my ipod) and go round and round of how they are the victim. The other person is the bad guy/gal because they couldn’t see just how great this relationship could be or was. I know quite a few ladies who say I know he is not right for me but I need him…I know this is not working..but if I could just get him to..(fill in the blank) That relationship is toxic and unhealthy to both parties.

By Raqi

January 6, 2009 9:16 AM | Link to this

Another thing to be considered also, was he just using her as a support system or prop or even side action (initially still living with his ex) while he treaded the road leading to his desired destination (graduation). Now that he no longer needs the ex for whatever and is now free (living with friends) he no longer has a need for the girlfriend.

It is sorta like when a person has an affair with a married individual. Not all but some. The married individual will hold on that person who is willing to be with them in the situation that they are in because there are more that will not. But once the person becomes divorced from the marriage they are free. They are now single and their dating pool has all of sudden become larger. This could be the case here.

He is now free.

By Stormy

January 6, 2009 9:18 AM | Link to this

Blanca

Additionally, what is friend really losing by letting this guy go?

Really, what is afraid of losing? LOL Kinda sounds like this would be a good drop off point to me.

By Dan

January 6, 2009 9:19 AM | Link to this

@KP

I doubt it.

There is a constant battle between the sexes. Head and heart.

Men lead with head (brain power to the nasty minded) and women lead with heart.

At some point in a male/female relationship, those two polar opposite find symbiosis. Meaning that the head and the heart are in agreement.

Right now, Blanca’s friend is leading with her heart, and until her head can convince her heart that “waiting” is not sufficient she stuck.

One thing that is universal about any woman - when she is done, she done. Blanca’s friend just ain’t there yet.

By NY2GA, Inc. (2009)

January 6, 2009 9:22 AM | Link to this

Well, I think she should step away from the situation and give him the time & space to work on his goals. He told her what his plans were and those won’t change unless he decides that he wants them to. Clearly, the timing for having a relationship is wrong for him at this time. He’s not ready. In the meantime, she should pick herself up by the bootstraps and work on herself.

I do believe that if there is love and two people are dedicated to having & maintaining a relationship with each other they will make whatever sacrifices they feel are necessary for the benefit of the relationship. That is not the case in Blanca’s friends situation.

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 9:27 AM | Link to this

Now that’s a serious thought, we do it all of the time - throw away nice keepers in search of that big whopper.

LOL BK, I figure a fella would respond to that. Does there come a point where the relationship just plateaus. Maybe you need a shake up to get a different result.

I started thinking about this after Mike Shanahan got fired. You know folks get all reflective at the New Year. lol

By Poppa Grande

January 6, 2009 9:32 AM | Link to this

Good Morning to all in blog world,

Raqi

Another thing to be considered also, was he just using her as a support system or prop or even side action (initially still living with his ex) while he treaded the road leading to his desired destination (graduation).

You can’t read what is in another person’s mind. You can on go by what they tell you and their actions.

He has stated that he doesn’t want to pursue and at that point, she has been informed of his intentions.

The situation could be as you stated or he really could be telling the truth in “not wanting to be tied down”.

He is getting a MBA and probably looking at the job market. He may just want to be free to choose the job that is best for him, which may mean him moving elsewhere. In this economy the best jobs for him may mean that he has to go far from where he is now. She may not be able to go where he must go. For her, a job may lead her somewhere else.

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 9:36 AM | Link to this

He’s young, she’s young. He’s already realized that she’s a keeper… she’s stuck by him through his last situation. And now all his obligations (school, living with his ex) are freeing up. The world is literally his right now.

He can move anywhere and do anything and if the fish in his city aren’t biting, he can always try to give it a go with the girl he let get away.

Guys usually have one or two they knew they took for granted.

If he ever does come crawling back, I hope she’s married to someone else. LOL

By MELO

January 6, 2009 9:37 AM | Link to this

Good morning pple.There really is no problem here, except for u Blanca and others,looking from the outside.They are both young,graduating soon and its time to explore,sexx up and live!She has all the info to make decisions and she decides to stay coz it feels so good.Way to go.Meanwhile the guy is enjoying the benefits of both worlds. She will figure it out on her own once she decides she wants to get serious and be married.If the guy is still on his plan,then she will segueway to another more promising propsect. Its not easy to just walk away, i agree so staying is better right now.When or if that guy moves overseas and the supply dwindles,another guy may as well come in the picture.For the moment,she shld just sling it and enjoy what she got.

By ImAPeach404

January 6, 2009 9:40 AM | Link to this

Good morning all

I don’t really have a comment on the situation as I am currently going through something similar to Blancas friend (although we weren’t as serious) - however, I’m not silly enough to think by continuing to see him, he will change his mind about our “status”.

While it is difficult to let go, the wise thing is to do just that. You guys have offered some good advice and some powerful words. Things I truly needed to read this morning. Thanks.

However, I do have one question/concern… men have you ever fell back from a situation and when the woman didn’t continue to pursue? Would that make you feel like she wasn’t interested in the first place and you made the right decision? Or, would you feel like she’s truly giving you the space you asked for and would appreciate it? And, have you ever taken some time from a woman and actually went back after you accomplished whatever it is that was holding you back to begin with?

By Raqi

January 6, 2009 9:44 AM | Link to this

Blanca’s friend is leading with her heart

Dan I agree with that. Considering that they were not having problems makes it harder for her to let go. Her heart is invested. It would be wrong, but she would have probably been better off if he had started making problems for her first and then ended it. Heck she would have better off if he had just left and said nothing. His actions can be viewed as doing the right thing. Or is he just keeping the bridge intact in case he has to come across it again, if other things don’t work out.

By Raqi

January 6, 2009 9:46 AM | Link to this

Sorta like finding a new, better job but you are sure to leave the old one on good terms just in case you have come back because the other did not work out. Or wasn’t all you thought it to be.

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 9:46 AM | Link to this

*Breaking up with someone you like and love is much different than breaking up with someone you don’t like and love.

If both parties like and love each other, there is typically some compassion there. I’ve broken up with guys I cared deeply for and they don’t diminish in my eyes for wanting to hold on a little longer. Even babies need to ween of the breast.

Cold turkey doesn’t work for everyone. Wish it did tho!

By Leggs

January 6, 2009 9:49 AM | Link to this

ARed, really. Didn’t think I’ve been coming across harsh in previous posts. This one here, probably so. I realize it’s hard to let go of a relationship, but I don’t understand why we women attempt to stay connected to a man that doesn’t want a relationship w/us. It simply irks me when a woman devalues her self-worth into thinking she won’t or can’t find better. Believe you me, whether the man says it or not, he now sees her differently by her willingly wanting to stay involved when he has put his cards on the table.

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 6, 2009 9:53 AM | Link to this

Morning All and Happy 2009!

Okay so far I agree with Dan and BK, dude has stated what he doesnt want so I dont see why she continues to see him. Not to say she has to sever all ties but I wouldnt punish myself. Only he can change his mind on the situation.

ImAPeach404 great question

By Dan

January 6, 2009 9:54 AM | Link to this

@Raqi

There is no “bridge”, dude explicitly stated that he doesn’t want her.

It’s not about “keeping the lines open”, and him walking away without saying anything would have been a coward’s way out.

It’s really a simple thing to do, walk away, knowing that if nothing else you’ll miss the familiarity, but walk away none the lest.

You have got to love yourself above anyone else.

By Leggs

January 6, 2009 9:54 AM | Link to this

ARed, really. Didn’t think I’ve been coming across harsh in previous posts. This one here, probably so. I realize it’s hard to let go of a relationship, but I don’t understand why we women attempt to stay connected to a man that doesn’t want a relationship w/us. It simply irks me when a woman devalues her self-worth into thinking she won’t or can’t find better. Believe you me, whether the man says it or not, he now sees her differently by her willingly wanting to stay involved when he has put his cards on the table.

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 9:55 AM | Link to this

Leggs, see my 9:46. But hey, if that’s how you feel, so be it.

By Dan

January 6, 2009 9:59 AM | Link to this

@Peach

To answer your question, if I ask for space (me specifically) I’m asking you to pull back so that my future interactions with other females won’t hurt you.

And, have you ever taken some time from a woman and actually went back after you accomplished whatever it is that was holding you back to begin with?

No. Whatever goal I wanted to accomplish has given me more of a basis to move on.

By Stormy

January 6, 2009 10:00 AM | Link to this

Melo

I was just wondering….was your marriage arranged? I know that in some segments of African culture that’s the custom.

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 10:02 AM | Link to this

Good Morning!

Other News: A couple of the dive members saved one of the guest’s life at our Aquarium Dive tour. The guy was finishiing a normal dive tour, and lost conciousness while being removed from the habitat area. Certified DIP staff saved dudes life as a they where escorting him. He had indicated having some problems and passed out. They immediatley started CPR and he regain conciousness and is doing fine now.

After this, and my reserves about AEDs (Automated External Defibrillators) has changed & CPR renewal. These things are imperative….u never know what will happen, or when.

Melo - What’s up? Gotta quick question for you?

If a guy is married with kids, and lost his wife, then let say he SOMEHOW finds the way to date/have a relationship again. How long do you think it should take for him to freely fall in love again with a lady? Or have this new woman an “integral” part of the kids life?

By Foots

January 6, 2009 10:03 AM | Link to this

KP However, how does she let go of a relationship that she truly wants to be in? It’s very easy for us to provide that recommendation for Blanca’s friend, but letting go when things seem to be going well is a very difficult thing to do.

What relationship??? That guy is not in a relationship, he broke it off, and she can’t be in one by herself. What else is there to do BUT move on?

It takes a lot of strength to do, but sometimes you have to love yourself more than that other person. If the situation is not what you want, free yourself to find what you want.

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 10:04 AM | Link to this

Mo Hey. What is the name of that Rashaad __?? CD?

By MELO

January 6, 2009 10:10 AM | Link to this

My friend is crushed by this turn of events and yet continues to see him, perhaps thinking he might change his mind dont worry Blanca,the light bulb moment will come when she decides to pay him one of her nocturnal visits and then finds his door unlocked and as she walks in, hes coming outa the bathroom,butt nekkid and wiping hiself(i said that) with a familiar tender and warm cloth,whilst a charming long legged beauty is sprwaling on his bed,still gasping and catching her breath,her eyes wide,like a deer’s, wondering who the heck is that heifer entering the door,disturbing our peace. Case Solved…..

By **............**

January 6, 2009 10:12 AM | Link to this

I’m with the masses on this one. Whether the reasons mentioned are honest or a farce, Blanca’s friend should accept and move on. While it may be hard to let go, because we all know letting go is not always easy, be a big girl bite the bullet and do it. Because I’d be irked by the fact that I stuck by you through the “ex”, if ever you discover I was a keeper or the one that got away, no coming back.

IMAPEACH404 Great question. I’m waiting to hear more

By MELO

January 6, 2009 10:14 AM | Link to this

How long do you think it should take for him to freely fall in love again with a lady? i wld say a year.Will also depend on how old he is.If hes older than say 47/50shish,maybe longer.A younger guy, i will say a year coz u gotta respect the dead,her kin and the kids as well. 12 months is good Cee

By 2sunny

January 6, 2009 10:15 AM | Link to this

Good analogy Amazon Red @ 9.46.

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 10:15 AM | Link to this

the light bulb moment will come when she decides to pay him one of her nocturnal visits and then finds a charming long legged beauty is sprwaling on his bed,

melo, that’s pretty much how it will go. LOL. She’ll probably see him out with someone else.

Sometimes folks need visual aids. LOL

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 6, 2009 10:16 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli first off I am LMAO @ you! Its Rahasaan Patterson and were you talking his Christmas CD? I dont know the name of it but I have all of his other CDs….

By 2sunny

January 6, 2009 10:19 AM | Link to this

Good analogy Amazon Red @ 9.46.

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 10:23 AM | Link to this

Melo 12 months. Yea, I would think so too. Some cases maybe even more if the kids are still having to heal and whatnot. Feelme?

Nocturnal visits? How she just gon’ pop up in dudes place like that? i hope that ain’t happening…

By DreamsMaterialize

January 6, 2009 10:25 AM | Link to this

IMAPEACH404 If I ask for more space, then I respect her more for honoring the request. If she refuses, then I start questioning whether she’s gonna pull a Jazmine Sullivan. j/k But I would lose respect because, at that point, here actions would seem desperate, and that’s never a good look.

By MELO

January 6, 2009 10:25 AM | Link to this

in some segments of African culture that’s the custom as far as i know, arranged marriages is a muslim and possibly Buddhist thing,in africa or any other continent.Its about religion.I’m none of those 2.Im a reluctant christian..lol.There are some other weird african stuff/beliefs relating to marriage that i can tell u about.Lets wait untill guys exhaust this Blanca issue and i will opine.Good for asking tho,dont alawayz believe the hype.

By Poppa Grande

January 6, 2009 10:26 AM | Link to this

Leggs

Believe you me, whether the man says it or not, he now sees her differently by her willingly wanting to stay involved when he has put his cards on the table.

Bingo.

Which leads me to Peach’s question.

have you ever fell back from a situation and when the woman didn’t continue to pursue? Would that make you feel like she wasn’t interested in the first place and you made the right decision? Or, would you feel like she’s truly giving you the space you asked for and would appreciate it?

If I asked for space and she provided it, she respected my wishes and I really appreciated it. Sometimes, we made it work afterwards & other times, it was time to move on.

The requested space wasn’t always about other women either. Sometimes, it was as simple as wanting some “me” time. I am a loner type of guy, and don’t like chicks that don’t have their own lives

Other times, it was wanting to make a smart decision with correct head.

By Raqi

January 6, 2009 10:27 AM | Link to this

Poppa While I agree with you, I say it could very well be the case. We see it every day. People stay with certain situations because of convenience, benefits or because they are not in a position to do otherwise. Especially with jobs. When they get a better offer or find themselves free from what was holding them back they usually go. Not that it is always a bad thing but it happens. Just don’t burn your bridge.

My husband hired this guy once that knew absolutely nothing. After learning from my husband and being able to make it without him he left to go do other things. Good for him. Every man needs to chase his dream. But he left on what he thought was good terms and for sure was back in less than 6 months wanting his job back.

Not the same situation here, but I hope you can grasp what I am trying to say.

By Leggs

January 6, 2009 10:28 AM | Link to this

Have you guys heard about the 4 year old shooting his babysitter TWICE. This baby was able to get off 2 rounds. Unbelievable. His next babysitter should be a retired police officer!

Back on topic. You’re right ARed, some people need visuals and a lot don’t take heed to those visuals much like not taking heed to the spoken word of not wanting to be in a relationship. No matter how it’s sliced it still amounts to how you value your own self-worth.

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 10:28 AM | Link to this

Mo you jus be laughing at me….okayn Rahasaan Patterson…haha. Not that im’a name my secoond born after him or nothing, but glad you corrected his name for me. :)

Oh, I was looking for new music to add to the list.

How was your New Year?

By Leggs

January 6, 2009 10:32 AM | Link to this

Have you guys heard about the 4 year old shooting his babysitter TWICE. This baby was able to get off 2 rounds. Unbelievable. His next babysitter should be a retired police officer!

Back on topic. You’re right ARed, some people need visuals and a lot don’t take heed to those visuals much like not taking heed to the spoken word of not wanting to be in a relationship. No matter how it’s sliced it still amounts to how you value your own self-worth.

By MELO

January 6, 2009 10:33 AM | Link to this

How she just gon’ pop up in dudes place like that? remember,she dont believe it,hes accessible and she still thinks,despite his stated views to the contrary,that its stikll possible.U ladies are the most funny creatures.Ur friends will tell u that ur man is cheating,we saw him with so and so and uall say,they jealous,trying to take my man! Carnivores like me revel when a girl like that is mine.

By SexyCool - UnCut

January 6, 2009 10:34 AM | Link to this

as one who just “let go” of a relationship…i will offer the words of advice that come from oprah or somebody like that…

Never make anyone in your life a priority when you’re just an option.

By Kym

January 6, 2009 10:38 AM | Link to this

I have a friend like this. He made it clear up front that he was only interested in occassion sex, because emotional he was not ready to offer more. The more we had sex the more attached I got..eventually I had to stop seeing him because I told him..”I am getting attached to you and since that is not what you want, I can’t force it, nor can I keep screwing you when I want more than this. He understood and no one was bitter. Now granted we still talk and have continue from time to time to do that voodoo hoodo that we do so well together..but I always go in knowing this is strictly a dyckly relationship.

By Foots

January 6, 2009 10:38 AM | Link to this

Blanca Your friend needs to realize two things, one of which I’m still working on: 1. Some relationships aren’t meant to be forever and none of them come with guarantees. 2. You have to trust yourself enough to know that whatever happens, you’ll have the strength to pick up and move on. It’s hard, but you just have to rip the band-aid. Like my mother told me, sometimes its better to hurt all at once than to hurt for a little bit each day.

During one particularly bad breakup for me, I told her that I felt like I couldn’t make it. She said, with all seriousness, “WELL JUST ROLL UP AND DIE THEN!!” I cried and said that I couldn’t do that. Then she told me that I have no choice but to continue to live if I chose not to die. Deep, but true.

If this guy rolls back into her life at some point, it will be her decision whether or not to entertain him. But until then, her only choice in the matter is to continue to live her own life.

By Lurker

January 6, 2009 10:38 AM | Link to this

SexyCool’s 10:34

Life just ain’t right for women. I would so kill to be a man. A lot of having and eating cake goes on in their world.

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 10:38 AM | Link to this

SexyCool, are you and Coach done? If so, I’m sorry to hear that.

By MELO

January 6, 2009 10:39 AM | Link to this

as one who just “let go” of a relationship sorry to hear that.U talking of coach,right?? Hey blog men,ive seen this sister close up and if u snooze on her,ur fault.Im thinking about my divorce options right now..lemme call my lawyer to hurrry this thing up!!

By Raqi

January 6, 2009 10:39 AM | Link to this

he has broken it off, citing that he wants to pursue jobs around the country/world and doesn’t want to feel tied down.

He adds to his position, however, that he’s still in love with her but “doesn’t want to be” so he is pulling away.

Dan There’s the bridge right there. Instead of just saying “look it’s over, I don’t love you any more, I’m out” he made nice. He leaves her with the thought he still loves her in her mind but he needs go and pursue this other thing. To me that is leaving the bridge intact.

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 10:42 AM | Link to this

How she just gon’ pop up in dudes place like that? remember,she dont believe it,hes accessible and she still thinks,despite his stated views to the contrary,that its stikll possible

But let’s not give the dude a total pass melo. He’s stated he wants out. But if he “allows” her in his bed still, he’s also consenting to the fact that he’s not getting out of this without fireworks.

If he’s done, he should be done. He may take a call or two, if she’s really having a tough time but to allow her in his bed is suicide, or homicide. lol.

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 10:43 AM | Link to this

Melo If i gotta do all that convincing a friend of mine that the SO is/has/will cheat on her. I’m not doing my job as a friend, esp. nick-pickin’ on dude. <—- wastin’ energy.

I’m suppsose to be a supportive friend, stay out of that, and be there for him/her when needed?

By Angie

January 6, 2009 10:45 AM | Link to this

because she is young she unfortunately doesn’t realize that this love will come back around to her.

or

that in order to bump into the one He has made for her, she must go through many relationships to find him.

letting go is tough and i feel for her. the sooner she lets go and start sleeping under someone else the better.

i believe he is doing the right thing. one thing about most men … they feel that in order to be successful in life and relationships they have to do them first/put themselves first. and i don’t blame them one bit.

By Dan

January 6, 2009 10:45 AM | Link to this

@Raqi

I was waiting on that.

“I’m still in love with you but I do not want to be, so I’m pulling away”. To decipher “I like you, but I want to examine my other options, and if you want to stay in the meantime, good; if not, cool too”.

The first hit is free, if want more come back with money. It’s classic “bait and switch”.

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 6, 2009 10:46 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli well at least you asked before heading to Best Buy and confusing the employees there! LOL! I am also looking for some new music so we’ll have to share notes on that one.

New Year’s was cool, I enjoyed it and am anxious to get 2009 rollin

By SexyCool - UnCut

January 6, 2009 10:46 AM | Link to this

yes, coach and i are done…have been for the last month…what was good about our relationship (and there was a lot) did not carry enough weight to outweigh what was bad…

it had been a long time coming (unfortunately) and whereas the final break was initially a fairly painful situation…i would rather recover from great pain that lasts for a short time as opposed to dying a little bit each day…

i believe that this is what bianca’s friend is setting herself up for…and every person deserves better than that…

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 10:47 AM | Link to this

To me that is leaving the bridge intact.

Raqi, I agree. It’s also from my personal experience that guys never want to burn a bridge. You may need it again one day. I have to make the strategic decision to cut off all contact, because I have no doubt the guys would allow me in their lives for scraps if that’s what I was down for.

By Poppa Grande

January 6, 2009 10:50 AM | Link to this

Lurker

Life just ain’t right for women. I would so kill to be a man. A lot of having and eating cake goes on in their world.

Life is what you make it. Whether you are female or male. I know males that play that victim role just as I know females that play the victim role. Male victims always claim “the man” is out to get him, and not owning up to his mistakes that led him in his current state. The same is true for women. Females have to look at themselves and own up to their mistakes.

We all make mistakes, it is part of being human. However, those who have successful lives learn from said mistakes.

Therefore, there is real having cake & eating it, too. It isn’t easy keeping all your lies straight between females, and all the things that come with that.

If you think that is having your cake, and eating it too, have at it.

But ultimately, you are responsible for your own happiness.

By Foots

January 6, 2009 10:53 AM | Link to this

Angie I agree with you about him doing the right thing. He’s doing the right thing for himself, now she needs to do the right thing for herself. Although she loves him, she can love him from afar and close that door, knowing and trusting that another door will open.

Forget about a ratio and how difficult it is to start over, I know in my heart and mind that if my relationship doesn’t work out the way I want it to for whatever reason, I can find someone else. It’s that fear of the unknown that keeps us trapped sometimes. But if you know that just like you found that one, you can find another one, you won’t allow yourself to stay in a negative situation a minute longer than you have to. This is just dating, not marriage.

By Dan

January 6, 2009 10:56 AM | Link to this

you are responsible for your own happiness

While only the 6th day of the year, that is the comment of the year.

Cut and paste it, blow it up, and make a sign for yourself (if you need to) that is it!

Or it’s more succinct euphemised version: “I’mma do me!”

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

January 6, 2009 10:57 AM | Link to this

Melo/Ared/SexyCool as one who just “let go” of a relationship sorry to hear that.U talking of coach,right?? Hey blog men,ive seen this sister close up and if u snooze on her,ur fault.Im thinking about my divorce options right now..

Not that I’m happy to see a person breakin’ up with their significant, but let’s keep this in perspective. Ain’t this the same broad that used to come on here as if she got sprinkled with magic dust? And ain’t this the same broad that came on here talkin’ ‘bout reg’la brothas “dating up” as if she was the Crown Jewel. So in this case, ain’t tryin’ to make any enemies, but sounds to me like this chick just got a chin check.

But I saw it in her post months ago. Well maybe we’ll start getting a few of them nice azz poems that she used to write.

By SexyCool - UnCut

January 6, 2009 10:58 AM | Link to this

melo…you are always and forever will be…….a nut…LOL…

By Foots

January 6, 2009 10:58 AM | Link to this

SexyCool i would rather recover from great pain that lasts for a short time as opposed to dying a little bit each day…

Just like my mom would say. You’re a strong sister and I know you’ll be fine. But more importantly than that, I know that YOU know that you’ll be fine.

Amazon I have to make the strategic decision to cut off all contact, because I have no doubt the guys would allow me in their lives for scraps if that’s what I was down for.

That’s the dayum truth!

Dan I’m agreeing with everything you’re saying.

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 11:01 AM | Link to this

SexyCool - Thank you for sharing. Hurts like hell, but I know you are encouraged that you are free to find something even better.

When Beau and I got back together, I did so knowing I needed certain things. And I put a timer on it (interally, didn’t tell him). We’ll the time is up and we’re done too. It’s never easy, but it was definitely better this time around because I was able to prepare for it. We left a lot of unfinished business the first time around that leaves us in a much better place moving forward.

Stings tho!

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 11:03 AM | Link to this

Life is what you make it. Whether you are female or male. I know males that play that victim role just as I know females that play the victim role.

you are responsible for your own happiness.

PoppaG I can attest. This ^^ has brought so much peace in my life ‘til somedays i’m like; how do we get caught-up in drama? I have no clue.

“Change will not come if we wait for some other person, or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.”

By Foots

January 6, 2009 11:05 AM | Link to this

Blanca I think someone touched on this earlier, but if what’s keeping your friend mired in this situation with a man who doesn’t want her is the fact that she stuck with him through his crazy ex situation, remind her that he owes her nothing. It was her choice to accept whatever he was offering her at that time. She can’t now say, “Well, I was with you through your living situation, so you owe me this chance to work it out”. It just doesn’t work that way, no matter how much we want it to.

She can’t let herself be a victim. It feels so much better to stand in front of him, hold your head up high and say “I’m going to find what suits me, I wish you the best” than to crawl into his bed every night and get up the next morning with even less dignity than you laid down with.

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

January 6, 2009 11:05 AM | Link to this

Ared If he’s done, he should be done. He may take a call or two, if she’s really having a tough time but to allow her in his bed is suicide, or homicide. lol.

because I have no doubt the guys would allow me in their lives for scraps if that’s what I was down for.

I see you read what I said about fallbacks.

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

January 6, 2009 11:05 AM | Link to this

Blanca You girl is falling for the okie doke! Granted I moved to ATL and my ex and I broke up. But, that is totlly different. This girl has to realize, you can’t change a man’s mind. You simply will drive yourself nuts and make an azz out of yourself trying to do so. This will only lead to heartbreak when he walkes away with a clean break. Sounds like she was a great for the moment girl…different form the ex he was still cohabitating with. But now with his new found freedom..he wants his options to be open. Sfter all…he just came out of a relationship. She was in fact….THE REBOUND CHICK! Tell her to cut her losses. If I meet a guy and he tells me he still lives with his, “ex”. He gets no further with me…no phone or email exchange. If we meet when you are (really) free then so be it. I had that happen to me upon moving here…which made me add disclaimers when I meet a guy. If I ask who does he live with or who lives with you (you people try to change stuff around). If he says a roommate, then I say, ” a roommate does NOT include teh following: The wife, the current or ex girlfriend, the baby mama or the girl that you screw on the regular that thinks she’s your girlfriend with the quote unquote understanding”! Now it is a sad day when you have to cover bases like that! Heck I even have for kids! Since I don’t date guys with kids. I need to know.

Leggs I read that….the parents should be arrested. How was a gun left in a place where he could get it? Also what is he watching on TV that he would know how to fire a gun. Either the parents did not use the safety or this kid has been taught to release it. If I had a child then my gun would be somewhere they could never get to it. They would not even know my hiding space.

SexyCool I sorry mami. But you will be fine!

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 11:08 AM | Link to this

Ain’t this the same broad that used to come on here as if she got sprinkled with magic dust? And ain’t this the same broad that came on here talkin’ ‘bout reg’la brothas “dating up” as if she was the Crown Jewel. So in this case, ain’t tryin’ to make any enemies, but sounds to me like this chick just got a chin check.

BK, why is it all or nothing with some of you. No relationship be it parent/child, boss/employee, male/female is without problems. Sometimes you can work thru it, sometimes you can’t.

I guarantee that both she and Coach will be the same good people in relationships with folks who are a better fit.

I’m not seeing why she shouldn’t sing his praises if that’s how she was feeling at the time.

By SexyCool - UnCut

January 6, 2009 11:09 AM | Link to this

blue…wow, really…

By The Truth

January 6, 2009 11:10 AM | Link to this

Good morning folks.

On topic: That cat is a stand up charachter. I like him.

Sometimes a chick is good for a certain phase of life but not the whole monty. She apparently fits into that category. she thought she had roped a MBA grad and wound up with squat. Sometimes you roll the dice and crap out.

All you ladies talk about a guy being honest and straightforward and when he does he’s heartless or inconsiderate. Which way do you want it?

I can see homey wanting to get out and be free to experience his new found freedom vs getting locked down with this chick who’ll expect a ring, home, yadda yadda yadda. Oh yeah, as soon as she gets married she’ll interpret that as carte blanche to start having kids. With one smooth move ol boy sidestepped all that so he can do the things he enjoys in life. MOB baby MOB.

Y’all act like just because you share feelings or great times with someone they owe you the rest of their life or they’re sorry. The secret to enjoying life is experience each chapter on its own merits and not try to extend the chapter.

Stormy Able to cut all emotional ties at the drop of a hat. You’ve just described 99% of the men on planet earth. Most dont live their lives on some forever ever level. A cat is condstantly looking for the next meal, always hunting. dont impose your emotional system on adude because it doesn’t work. If you doubt me think back to the thousands of men you know that walked away from their families without even looking back. Good morning btw.

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 11:10 AM | Link to this

I see you read what I said about fallbacks.

BK - Sorry, I didn’t. Fortunately my brain works independently from your posts. :-)

By Stormy

January 6, 2009 11:10 AM | Link to this

SexyCool

It’s not a good feeling(been there)…only visit for a little while (cause you gotta) but don’t stay too long….if you know what I mean.

By Kym

January 6, 2009 11:11 AM | Link to this

Wait did everyone breakup over the Xmas holidays or before the New Year or something? Where have I been? Sorry to hear about ya’ll breakups.

Raqi and PoppaG Yall alright? Raqi you still knocked up? PoppaG you still in school?..I am not really liking these surprise revelations so early in the new year.

By Leggs

January 6, 2009 11:12 AM | Link to this

Sorry to hear that you guys are finished w/Coach and Beau. SexyCool, you are a very strong woman and the both of you love yourselves so I’m pretty sure you do fine in time! Stay strong, and yes, I know it’s not easy!

By MELO

January 6, 2009 11:12 AM | Link to this

And I put a timer on it (interally, didn’t tell him). We’ll the time is up and we’re done too DO u,in ur relatiosnship,discuss his future moves or intentions?? In some loving frustration, do u express ur desire to get married or its a silent wonder of when he will propose??

By Blow Me

January 6, 2009 11:17 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All

To Ared/Leggs I completely agree with Leggs…I think it does come down to self worth. But it’s definitely easier said than done and I complete agree with ARED if you feelings and time is invested in something..it’s very hard to see the trees from the forest. ALot of times u do need to time to slowly ween yourself off. And alot of time men say one thing but want another…they are some confused creatures.

By Leggs

January 6, 2009 11:17 AM | Link to this

Sorry to hear that you guys are finished w/Coach and Beau. SexyCool, you are a very strong woman and the both of you love yourselves so I’m pretty sure you do fine in time! Stay strong, and yes, I know it’s not easy!

By SexyCool - UnCut

January 6, 2009 11:20 AM | Link to this

Kind of feels like

Ice in my veins

Coming from places that cannot be called

Kind.

Realizing that life goes on

Outside of what I can

Control.

Killing what was never destiny.

Serendipitously discovering truth.

Before I go further,

Let me say this,

Understand that life is what you make it.

Everyone should know this.

By MELO

January 6, 2009 11:22 AM | Link to this

Stay strong, and yes, I know it’s not easy! OKAY,okaaay..dont make it look like its a funeral.Coach did not walk away with her instruments…girlz,stop!! MLB members are available and looking, so Cool has plenty,plenty viable options……one man’s poison is another’s drink,entree and desert!!

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

January 6, 2009 11:22 AM | Link to this

SexyCool blue…wow, really…

Yeap.

Ared I guarantee that both she and Coach will be the same good people in relationships with folks who are a better fit.

I’m not seeing why she shouldn’t sing his praises if that’s how she was feeling at the time.

I agree with both of these statements, but my post was all about being humble, gracious, and appreciative. I can speak on it because I’ve many lesson from real-life experiences. Cool‘ll be aight, but she needed to hear the truth about it.

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 11:23 AM | Link to this

DO u,in ur relatiosnship,discuss his future moves or intentions?? In some loving frustration, do u express ur desire to get married or its a silent wonder of when he will propose??

melo - Yes, I do discuss it. But I have been guilty of not wanting the guy to feel “pressure.”

At the end of the day, we get along famously but knew early on that we have different philosophies about marriage.

You’ll still hear about Beau tho cuz we are friends. There would have been no chance of that a year ago.

By Raqi

January 6, 2009 11:23 AM | Link to this

LOL Kym I’m good. Still happily married and still very much pregnant.

How are things in your world?

By DreamsMaterialize

January 6, 2009 11:24 AM | Link to this

ARED, SexyCool A fresh start can be made at any time, but the new year is as good a time as any. Looks like you all made that choice. Every situation prepares you for something bigger and better.

By Lurker

January 6, 2009 11:26 AM | Link to this

PG No doubt. That’s a given. I don’t necessarily equate having and eating cake to a butt load of women and indiscretions. I’m stating more so based on how women are wired differently and the effort it takes to roll and bounce back. Take today’s post why are discussing Blanca’s friend and how she’s tirelessly hanging on? Not that women haven’t encountered the same behavior from a dude but according to how we’re wired the scale of bruises and bumps and broken hearts and needing time to heal and getting over tends to lean towards a man’s world. No? IMO

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 11:27 AM | Link to this

All you ladies talk about a guy being honest and straightforward and when he does he’s heartless or inconsiderate. Which way do you want it?

BE HONEST! If you don’t want my lil black @zz, tell me!

Break-ups?

Kym…Cee is still sittin’ over here in the cut.

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 11:27 AM | Link to this

Wait did everyone breakup over the Xmas holidays or before the New Year or something?

Kym, yeah, I don’t like to start a new year with old baggage. We had an nice Christmas, exchanged gifts. Then had “the talk”

By Brunson

January 6, 2009 11:27 AM | Link to this

whats with all the y/e break-ups? ladies did you plan this?

on topic: this is clearly(at least to me)a case of i know i can do better. she was the right now fix and now he’s moving on to better and higher heights. classic.

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

January 6, 2009 11:27 AM | Link to this

SexyCool “KICK ROCKS BLUE”

You’ve got talent slim. I might even save this. On the real doh, don’t think I’m over here smilin’ at your situation, ‘cause I’m not. Actually kinda feel sorry for you a lil bit.

Sh!t happens sometimes…

By Angie

January 6, 2009 11:28 AM | Link to this

there’s only so much a person can take no matter what the issue is. if you’re not getting what you need out of a relationship and your partner is not going that extra mile to make sure all your needs are met, then there you go.

setting a time on something to happen without saying is a good idea. you’re setting yourself up for either/or, which is smart to me and it’ll make you stronger in the long run.

a man puts you in one of three categories friend, sex, or wife within the first two months. if you don’t see your situation moving towards marriage within six … call it what you want.

By Leggs

January 6, 2009 11:28 AM | Link to this

Kick Rocks Blue…that’s funny!

By Dan

January 6, 2009 11:29 AM | Link to this

@Raqi

Sidebar requested:

danbynight@netzero.com

By Angie

January 6, 2009 11:32 AM | Link to this

letting a man know that you desire marriage is a big mistake.

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

January 6, 2009 11:32 AM | Link to this

And Melo, quit co-signin’ for e’ry chick on here… like you some MF’n press agent that’s getting a finder’s fee.

By kimmie

January 6, 2009 11:32 AM | Link to this

Morning Blog Fam!

On Topic - I agree with most of the earlier posts, like Kym, Amred, Leggs, Dan, KP. Unfortunately, this was a common situation for me in my younger years of dating. Now I would be so much stronger and would be able to walk away with no problem. But back then, I would be hoping against hope dude would change his mind. Wasted a lot of precious time, but things happen just as they are suppose to, I believe. Blanca’s friends’ guy is not a bad guy, but 9 times out of 10 he’s just not the one for her, timing or whatever excuses aside.

Sister Cee - All I can say is thank you so much for your 10:02 and 10:23 to Melo!!! You hit the nail on the head and described my situation with SO to a T. He was married for 11 years and left with a 4 & 6 year old to raise on his own. I met him 14 months after her death. We’re on a different time schedule than most relationships. He said he felt it for me sooner but wanted to wait until the right moment. In the meantime his actions toward me have been definitely saying it all. I’m also honored by the involvement with his precious little ones.

I use this blog as entertainment and a way to get ideas & perspective. I don’t want to sing me & SO’s swan song every day and hash over our tragedies we’ve both been through! That’s why you hurt my feelings yesterday Melo with your comments, though I did appreciate how you dropped it when I said I was not going to go into a long explanation with you (though some of your blog brothers tried to take even that to the gutter)!

By The Truth

January 6, 2009 11:33 AM | Link to this

Ared We’ll the time is up and we’re done too. how are you going to drop me in front of the blog? You could have told me in private. This ain’t right. Sorry about your breakup. You too Cool

Blow men aren’t confused. We just dont want to do the same things as you and some guys morph so they can get that azz and bolt. Their are VERY FEW women that can establish a picture with a man above being a piece of azz. And I do mean very few.

Its wild that most of these chicks rate a man on how long he’ll stay when most dudes rate a chick on how soon he can get rid of her. They’re assuming that if he’ll stay in the relationship he’ll stay to help raise the kids that she wants. If you look at the numbers you’ll know thats not happening. Most of you that want kids will wind up raising them by yourselves. And the cycle continues.

By Leggs

January 6, 2009 11:34 AM | Link to this

Kick Rocks Blue…that’s funny!

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 11:35 AM | Link to this

ladies did you plan this?

Brunson, I did. Or was planning for it. Plan for the worse, hope for the best.

I don’t think I handled our first break up the best. I needed to make sure I wouldn’t look back 10 years from now and wonder “what if” and say I didn’t give things a fair chance.

Thank you to Leggs, Kym and Dreams

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 11:36 AM | Link to this

Blue Actually there’s an appreciation when there is a person around that can help “us” (as my gurl would say) “Shake the sht!”

dapps

By SexyCool - UnCut

January 6, 2009 11:36 AM | Link to this

blue…nothing to feel sorry about…it was a relationship (not a marriage) that failed for various reasons…

i was disappointed, but not destroyed…i was not defeated, i did not die…

i will learn the lessons, the world will keep turning and life will go on…

ps…glad you like the poem, since you requested it…lol…

By MELO

January 6, 2009 11:37 AM | Link to this

but my post was all about being humble, gracious, and appreciative were u referring to her prior glorious posts about her relationship?? I tbink she hinted about 2 months ago that there was a bump in that relationship,i still remember it.I also feel a lot of pple will potray the good side on the blog and not necessarily the unpalatable bad sides of same.So really, its a question of not believeing everything u hear on the blog or taking it hook, line and sinker.At least i dont. I try to balance my posts with imagined truths,untruths,ur wild african imaginations and mostly humor.Uall believe what u want, i wldnt give a damn coz i dont know most pple here.My day wld go so slowly if i came on here and said everything truthfully to please and be seen as a stand up guy! I like playing the fool.

By Stormy

January 6, 2009 11:39 AM | Link to this

Truth

You are right….a man’s emotional scale does not measure the same as a woman’s. IMO, at some point in time or with age a man does have a day of reckoning (s/p) if you will, when he realizes the recklessness/emotional wreckage he may have caused or attritubed too along the way. Not that he is going to do anything about it…but at some point in life he has to acknowledge it even if it’s just to himself.

By Blow Me

January 6, 2009 11:39 AM | Link to this

Truth

men you know that walked away from their families without even looking back

You just describe a low life coward…it’s nothing applaud able about leaving a family you created and that you are head of! SMH! That’s not a MAN…that’s a despicable ba$tard.

Today you have rolled snake eyes…crapped out…it’s hate part today. lol

.I think you talk the most bizarre things just to hear yourself.

Also another thing..Men have emotions they are just hidden under a thing called ego. Of course they are not emotional driven like women…But feelings= emotions and like it or not YOU have them. I don’t care how much hateful disrespectful stuff you say..it’s just a ploy to hide and protect how you really feel. I’ve been onto “You women ain’t ish” so I am gonna control them and do whatever to them to make sure they suffer just like you. But you are just a high price baby who needs a hug…and nursing nipple. lol!

By Kym

January 6, 2009 11:41 AM | Link to this

Raqi I am fine ..classes start next week. The boy(my son)has reached the choking stage of our relationship..sorry…I mean full onset puberty and I can’t really complain about anything..but I won’t let that stop me.

Truth So that we balance out the craziness from yesterdays headlines..

Did you hear about the woman who set her husband’s penis on fire?

Apparently she was upset that he might be cheating on her so..she dousing him with a flammable liquid while he slept and lit him up. Her statement is.. “I just wanted to burn his penis so it belongs to me and no one else, I didn’t mean this to happen,”

Hubby on Fire

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 11:41 AM | Link to this

how are you going to drop me in front of the blog?

LMAO Truth. That’s why you and I get along so well. Beau is just a sugar coating version of you. LOL

By MELO

January 6, 2009 11:41 AM | Link to this

cosigning for e’ry chick on here i havent done that today yet,altho some have cosigned on my statements.U not reading right.

By The Truth

January 6, 2009 11:41 AM | Link to this

Angie and your partner is not going that extra mile to make sure all your needs are met, then there you go. Try having fewer needs. The problem with you ladies is you have a shytfull of needs that you want someone else to take care of. Try strengthening your own system and then you require less from a mate, which dramatically increase his chances of success.

I have very few needs from a chick. Feed me, fugg me, and leave me the fugg alone. If you do those things we’re 90% of the way there. As soon as one of those things is violated the thing starts going sideways.

By Dan

January 6, 2009 11:42 AM | Link to this

@Angie

You just stated a real dangerous line of thinking.

Your “partner” should never have to go an extra mile, step, or take an extra breath to ensure your happiness.

Dearheart, I refer you to PG’s 10:50

Don’t give that power to anyone, and don’t let anyone take that power from you. EVER

By Leggs

January 6, 2009 11:44 AM | Link to this

…i was disappointed, but not destroyed…i was not defeated, i did not die… GREAT STANCE TO HAVE. Keep your head up and keep smiling. The heart hurts now, but I have no doubt you’re helping in the healing process by not wallowing too much.

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 11:44 AM | Link to this

We’re on a different time schedule than most relationships. He said he felt it for me sooner but wanted to wait until the right moment. In the meantime his actions toward me have been definitely saying it all. I’m also honored by the involvement with his precious little ones.

Kimmie Hey gurl. There is nothing TRADITIONAL about your, and Gingseng’s relationship. Just as with some of the others that are in a serious relationship. It is, what it is.

I’m blessed, that your are HONORED to be a part of his kids life.

Okay, i have told you i’m a lil sensitive to that situ…gon’ on, nah.

sniffs

By NCGirlfromATL

January 6, 2009 11:44 AM | Link to this

Wassup Blogfam! Happy New Year and long time no blog!

Blue I see you’re still cuttin’ up lolol!!

On topic: I have a girlfriend going thru this same situation right now. Dude she’s been messing with has flat out told her he’s not over his ex and he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. Of course, he didn’t say he didn’t want to keep squeaking the mattress springs with her, so they keep hooking up…of course, with her under the delusion that her good diggity is going to change his mind and he’ll fall as madly in love with her as she is with him. To make matters worse, he’s a controlling SOB, and has convinced her (in a very round about way) not to sleep w/ anyone else but him. Meanwhile, we can guess what he’s doing when she’s not around. And everything he does “is soooo sweet!” Even when it’s him demanding that she do something for him that he’s never offered to do for her (like cook, take him someplace, etc.) Classic D manipulation. Got her looking for him with a flashlight in the daytime. LOL!

I have learned in my friendships to only give advice when it’s requested, and then back away. She’s grown, and will do what she wants to do, regardless of how ridiculous it might be. Thanks to the kind/informative words of some good male friends (by the way, where is SJ3000?) I’ve also learned to take men at their word. Sadly, every woman hasn’t learned that lesson and must learn it the hard way. Blanca’s friend needs to stop drinking the koolaid and regain control of her senses.

By Kym

January 6, 2009 11:45 AM | Link to this

* Hi Cee* I didn’t know you were involved with someone see I am going to need like a memo when I am away from the blog or something. j/k

By Kym

January 6, 2009 11:45 AM | Link to this

* Hi Cee* I didn’t know you were involved with someone see I am going to need like a memo when I am away from the blog or something. j/k

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 11:47 AM | Link to this

Blue don’ went and called it the press agent….well.

By Foots

January 6, 2009 11:48 AM | Link to this

angie letting a man know that you desire marriage is a big mistake.

On the contrary, it is good to know where both people stand up front. What’s wrong with a man knowing that you desire to be married someday? That doesn’t mean that it has to be to him. It’s just part of the vision that you have for your life.

Don’t get it twisted, most men don’t want to be the old man in the club either. Most envision themselves settled down someday too.

By Leggs

January 6, 2009 11:48 AM | Link to this

…i was disappointed, but not destroyed…i was not defeated, i did not die… GREAT STANCE TO HAVE. Keep your head up and keep smiling. The heart hurts now, but I have no doubt you’re helping in the healing process by not wallowing too much.

By Angie

January 6, 2009 11:50 AM | Link to this

stop the nonsense. everyone has needs in a marriage/relationship. i only have two. if he can’t handle that, i will gladly introduce him to the door.

By Dan

January 6, 2009 11:50 AM | Link to this

@Stormy

Your 11:39 is correct. But realize that timeline is longer for some of us than others…for some, it’s a deathbed realization.

@Blow

Truth ain’t talking about feelings, he talking about the actions/reactions associated with those feelings.

If those words in Blanca’s post had come from a woman to a man, the likely reply 95% of the time: “okay” (%5 for the busters).

Yet, the post is dedicated (as well as some testimonials) to the female thought process that says “if I stay, he will change.”

Males and females share emotions, how we react to a given situation despite/because of our emotions is where the lines are drawn

By DreamsMaterialize

January 6, 2009 11:51 AM | Link to this

AMRED Hey you’re welcome. Just a stepping stone in life. Gotta say though, although I know beau is commonly used to denote a significant other, it always reminded me of that movie “Little Chenier: A Cajun Story”. I just always think of that kid sayin’, “Beau, what is fornicatin’? Where can I get me some?” lol

By Leggs

January 6, 2009 11:52 AM | Link to this

…he didn’t say he didn’t want to keep squeaking the mattress springs with her, so they keep hooking up…of course, with her under the delusion that her good diggity is going to change his mind and he’ll fall as madly in love with her as she is with him. To make matters worse, he’s a controlling SOB, and has convinced her (in a very round about way) not to sleep w/ anyone else but him.* This right here is what I’m talking about ARed. Not being harsh just being realistic…some women are just plain STUPID. Everything I posted today I stand behind. It all boils down to self-worth. You will not get respect if you show no respect for your own being! He somehow convinced her…that is crock of shyt!

By Lurker

January 6, 2009 11:53 AM | Link to this

ARed You should get together with Truth. Seriously.

By Leggs

January 6, 2009 11:54 AM | Link to this

…he didn’t say he didn’t want to keep squeaking the mattress springs with her, so they keep hooking up…of course, with her under the delusion that her good diggity is going to change his mind and he’ll fall as madly in love with her as she is with him. To make matters worse, he’s a controlling SOB, and has convinced her (in a very round about way) not to sleep w/ anyone else but him.* This right here is what I’m talking about ARed. Not being harsh just being realistic…some women are just plain STUPID. Everything I posted today I stand behind. It all boils down to self-worth. You will not get respect if you show no respect for your own being! He somehow convinced her…that is crock of shyt!

By MELO

January 6, 2009 11:54 AM | Link to this

Sister Cee - All I can say is thank you so much for your 10:02 and 10:23 to Melo!!! actually when she asked me the qstion,i kinda knew where that waz coming from(ystrday’s blog) altho i didnt want to say it.And when i said what i said to u Kimmie yesterday, i was hoping u wld give me ur stand up,truthful response as u feel.I always provoke so i can be wrong,a classy response gets lots of marks,looking from the outside.At least thats what melo does best on the blog.As for me in real,im a lil opposite to that mufackker melo character.The most nicest guy ull ever meet(singles are u listening).

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 11:54 AM | Link to this

Kym Is there a pill to decrease the puberty stage. My gurl’s son who turned 16 OVERNIGHT went on a full date (dinner/movie) with a gurl this pass w/e. Same lil man that was a playmate with lil Cee just 3 years ago, and now he driving the Benz-o, beefed up, and visiting colleges. <—- where they do that at? These kids are growing up TOO fast.

Good luck in your new classes.

By Leggs

January 6, 2009 11:56 AM | Link to this

…he didn’t say he didn’t want to keep squeaking the mattress springs with her, so they keep hooking up…of course, with her under the delusion that her good diggity is going to change his mind and he’ll fall as madly in love with her as she is with him. To make matters worse, he’s a controlling SOB, and has convinced her (in a very round about way) not to sleep w/ anyone else but him.* This right here is what I’m talking about ARed. Not being harsh just being realistic…some women are just plain STUPID. Everything I posted today I stand behind. It all boils down to self-worth. You will not get respect if you show no respect for your own being! He somehow convinced her…that is crock of shyt!

By NY2GA, Inc. (2009)

January 6, 2009 11:57 AM | Link to this

By Angie

stop the nonsense. everyone has needs in a marriage/relationship.

True, but there is a difference between having needs and being needy.

By Stormy

January 6, 2009 11:58 AM | Link to this

Dan

Of course…my point is…”it does happen” the when is the most important factor…IMO.

Men are not telflon (s/p), some stuff sticks. If you know what I mean.

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

January 6, 2009 11:59 AM | Link to this

Melo i havent done that today yet,altho some have cosigned on my statements.U not reading right.

Maybe I used the wrong term in “co-signing”, whereas I should’ve said “promoting”.

Tip Of The Day: Every fighter will get dropped at some point in time. Your initial instincts will be to pop back up as fast as possible, probably somewhere between the count of 1 and 3. Resist. Take your knee to 6. Stand and tell the ref that you’re alright on 7. Come out fighting after the full “Standing Eight”.

*Rational: A knockdown is a knockdown and will be scored as such, regardless of whether you continue on count 1, 4, or 8. You might as well take that time to get your mind, vision, and head right.

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 12:02 PM | Link to this

You should get together with Truth. Seriously.

Lurker - One thing I’ve learned is that two people can get along famously, but if they have different philosophies about fundamental principals, it simply can not work.

Truth is an atheist and does not want to get married. I already know this about him and wouldn’t dream of asking him to change his beliefs.

But why would you think a relationship would work for me knowing this?

Leggs, the girl in NCGirls post is stupid.

By Raqi

January 6, 2009 12:04 PM | Link to this

What do you want Dan? No sidebars.

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 12:04 PM | Link to this

What’s wrong with a man knowing that you desire to be married someday? That doesn’t mean that it has to be to him. It’s just part of the vision that you have for your life.

Foots - spot on.

Dreams, I guess I will have to change his name. Maybe to NoBeau. LOL

By Angie

January 6, 2009 12:05 PM | Link to this

foots some things are better left unsaid. i would rather see a woman showing her man how good life would be with her and let him decide on his own whether marriage is what he wants with her (the natural way).

have you ever seen a man’s face after you let him know you want marriage? i don’t think it matters when you say it … first date or tenth date.

my allergy/cough is back. dayum you Georgia!!!

By SexyCool - UnCut

January 6, 2009 12:05 PM | Link to this

good tip, blue…i hear ya’ speakin’…

By B Boy

January 6, 2009 12:08 PM | Link to this

Well he did tell her where he stands. And if I am not mistaken, that is a huge argument for women..”I wish he would just be honest with me and tell me what he wants” I can hear it now.

Now the ball is in her court to either keep playing this game or move on to the next guy.

By Dan

January 6, 2009 12:08 PM | Link to this

@Raqi

I wasn’t around for the news (congratulations, BTW), so I wanted to know how you ended up feeling about the pregnacy?

Was it a happy moment? Bad?

Last I read there was some trepidation on your part.

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

January 6, 2009 12:09 PM | Link to this

SexyCool …nothing to feel sorry about…it was a relationship (not a marriage) that failed for various reasons…

Look here slim, you ain’t gotta downplay it for me, ‘cause I know what’s up. If it’s that easy, then you didn’t really care about the dude anyway. But on the flip, married or not, if you was all-in, you might easily lose 10 lbs this week.

Norf Cack To make matters worse, he’s a controlling SOB, and has convinced her (in a very round about way) not to sleep w/ anyone else but him.

What up slim?! ‘Ey look here, I’m sending over the Mack Of The Week Award. I’m gon’ need you to hand-carry that over to ol’ boy. Looks like he’s sprinkled ol’ girl with that Magic Dust.

By NCGirlfromATL

January 6, 2009 12:10 PM | Link to this

the girl in NCGirls post is stupid. Here’s the bad part…she’s actually quite intelligent, except when it comes to men. Highly educated, highly respected by her peers, active in her community, and generally a good person to be around. But, this guy has her sprung. Interestingly enough, I think she knows just how jacked up the situation is. Sometimes, we just dive in, nose wide open, no boundaries at all, and hope that there is a net there to catch us when we fall. Sadly, the net usually has a large, gapping hole in it.

By The Truth

January 6, 2009 12:11 PM | Link to this

Blow You just describe a low life coward Why, because he won’t stay and play house with you? How many chicks ask a guy 1) if he really wants to have kids 2) If he really wants to have one with her? Most chicks decide this is the guy and all of a sudden they’re the .001% ineefective rate that the pill speaks about. Here’s a headline. Most of the cats you’ve ever known in your life dont want to have kids with you. They just want to practice. The chick is the coward for not having the guts to clear the minefield before going forward. Then she spends the rest of her life talking about the bomb that blew up in her face. Its a fugged up system we have in place and unfortunately someone has to lose. most guys would prefer it be you.

Ared if its the cheap azz gift I got you I can buy another one. Just tell me what you want snookems (I’ll increase my spending limit to $35.00). I’m blindsided. I’m hurt. Can I come by tonight to see you on that pole for the last time? Sniff Sniff

Angie your list of needs is too long. Look over your list. Pick three and then choose a guy that can NATURALLY take care of those three. I guarantee your success rate will go through the roof.

Stormy you assume that men hit an enlightened state where all of a sudden they realize they need you more than the air they breath. That their line of thinking will someday line up with yours. It won’t. Marriages worked when there was no other show in town. If people had options 400 years ago they would have taken them.

The same woman that screams for a husband reserves the right to leave his azz if he gets fired. And commandeer his paycheck and life. Y’all aren’t some ride or die stand up chicks looking to prop up some dude. You want what you want too and are just more frustrated because what you want is way more complicated. What I want will take 3 minutes, max. LMAO

Bk that knockdown thing is straight on point. False pride makes you jump your stupid azz back up and act like it didn’t happen. Stay down, take the time thats allowed. 100% cosign.

By Blow Me

January 6, 2009 12:14 PM | Link to this

Dan/Truth I see you are a lost wrecked soul too! All this women are from venus and men are from mars is a bunch of crop.

All I want is respect….I expect you to respect me and follow in suit in doing so. If respect is giving none of the other bs would be there. You guys kill me on thinking you have the woman psyche under wraps. You mess with low life slutty women and that forms your outlook on all women.

Half of the women on here got they own…home, house, car, bank accounts, jobs and maintaining well and really don’t need you financially. The gold diggin tramps you guys speak of are not on anyones level on this blog and we not asking for $hit either. I guess us not being needy and NEED a guy that makes us less desirable…But when you guys speak of women speak of the type of woman on this blog..or else that mess is null and void. I cannot relate to a ghetto skusky we have a different mentality..I get up everyday @ 5 to have the things I want and need. And never think of a way to get OVER on a man. That’s the thing about yall… you expecting for us to get to the punchline and have a big wammy waiting…Real women don’t want to use you and take you to the bank…I just trying to maximize both of our potential together and make an awesome team. I am tired of how we are waiting to take advantage and take you to the bank…If you come with more requirements then feed me , fugg me and leave you alone…you would see how much of difference it could make in YOUR life. Smh!

By Angie

January 6, 2009 12:14 PM | Link to this

i’m pretty sure that men know most women want marriage. most women don’t date just to date. they can tell by the life style she leads.

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 12:15 PM | Link to this

Can I come by tonight to see you on that pole for the last time? Sniff Sniff

Truth, you still have your key!

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 12:15 PM | Link to this

Can I come by tonight to see you on that pole for the last time? Sniff Sniff

Truth, you still have your key!

By Angie

January 6, 2009 12:19 PM | Link to this

truth i only have two! lol.

stop the nonsense. everyone has needs in a marriage/relationship. i only have two.

By SexyCool - UnCut

January 6, 2009 12:19 PM | Link to this

blue, you seem determined to take me down a notch and force feed me some humility…all because of a quite true observation that i made several months ago…(and had forgotten about)…

it’s whatever, dude…

i’m cool with me…and my life is already moving on…

and whereas i agree with the knockdown statement, i will debate a point simply for the sake of debate…as long as you stay mired down in shyt, you will smell like shyt…

By Tazzee

January 6, 2009 12:22 PM | Link to this

Happy New Year Folks!

just wanted to drop in to say that was the best poem I’ve seen from you in a while SexyCool muah!

By Lurker

January 6, 2009 12:23 PM | Link to this

ARed Truth is an atheist and does not want to get married. I already know this about him and wouldn’t dream of asking him to change his beliefs. What was I thinking? I’m there with you on that point.

that knockdown thing is straight on point. False pride makes you jump your stupid azz back up and act like it didn’t happen. Stay down, take the time thats allowed.100%cosign. I agree. I know heartbreak for me ain’t no joke. I mean you deal with it but it’s not a walk through the park when you was “all-in” The fact that SexyCool is playing it down is indicative of just how hurt she is. It’s okay sistergirl, let the hurt happen. I will say though, that’s why I don’t think we should be singing the magic dust tune too loudly. It’s like having to eat crow. IMO. I’m sure I’ll get tongue thrashed for that statement but again JMO.

By Raqi

January 6, 2009 12:24 PM | Link to this

Dan First Thank you. I was at first accepting but now I am happy. I knew I would eventually be. But my husband makes me happier because he is just overjoyed with the whole thing. It’s like the greatest news he has to tell these days is that I am having his baby. Sometimes I can’t tell if the emphasis is on me having his baby or me having his baby. LOL Over the holidays while spending time with his relatives I heard “she’s having my baby” I know about 10 times.

I am happy that he is happy. Which is a good thing for him because I just love him 10 times over because he is really happy to be doing this.

By Stormy

January 6, 2009 12:28 PM | Link to this

Truth

Perhaps if you take your head from up *ARED’s azz and clean the poop from your stach….you could understand…ole’grasshopper.* LOL

Betta yet, I must have overlooked your status as the Telflon Don of the blog. Nothing sticks to your oily azz. Cause you’s slicker than a can of oil, chief.

+++++ whateva Blow said, to the 20th power.

I’m not upset cause you don’t agree…but just disappointed that your distorted reality is so comfortable on the flawed coat you wear.

By The Truth

January 6, 2009 12:29 PM | Link to this

B***** thats the thing. Even a chick that comes into the game with all sincerity soon learns that she has tools available to help her cause. This system isnt set up for me to win. I submit that under current law a father is one step lower that the coward you say leaves the family. A strong cats gonna rule, even if he has to leave to do so. A guy today gets the best out of you when he nuts on your chest and bounces. He’s up 1-0 and is smart to end the game right then.

To stay and do the “right thing” is to throw his life to the wind.

Raqi I’m totally devastated to konw that if I “NEEDED” a sidebar I couldn’t get one. I’m fuming over here.

Ared I’ll go to church with you if you don’t leave. Hell, I was just funnin about all that god stuff being phony anyway. And I was just thinking last night how 10 carats of pure cubic zirconia would look on those beautiful fingers. I’m all in. don’t leave me. Please.

By Poppa Grande

January 6, 2009 12:29 PM | Link to this

Lurker

*I’m stating more so based on how women are wired differently and the effort it takes to roll and bounce back. *

It doesn’t mean that dude’s don’t hurt. We just taught that that the world doesn’t care that you hurt, and life has to go on. So, we have to move on.

It doesn’t mean that it doesn’t sting us. However, sitting around singing songs about dying trees and such doesn’t change things. The earth will continue to spin with or without us.

The stories you hear of dude killing his girl or former girl is an example of when a dude can’t handle that sting. It is a “if I can’t have her, no one can have her” mentality.

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

January 6, 2009 12:29 PM | Link to this

SexyCool you seem determined to take me down a notch and force feed me some humility…

Naah, but since you feel that way, I’ll completely drop it.

Clayton County Residents: How in dee hayo did you guys approve a compensation package for an outside interim school superintendent worth over 500 grand for 14 months, and as a bonus allows him to walk out of the door with an additional 125 grand?!

Yoll could’ve gotten Roy Barnes himself for probably 200 grand; or even some ambitious upward mobile kick-azz Sister for 101k.

By MELO

January 6, 2009 12:31 PM | Link to this

LOL RAQI!! What do you want Dan? Dan if u 2-way with her,i will be on Mase to tell him some dude is messing with his stuff…. Cool are u at work??

have you ever seen a man’s face after you let him know you want marriage? i dont know how u get ur men but here is a tip:u get a man’s direction in lyfe etc during the dating phase.U dont necesariuly have to ask direct qstions,u can come at him in a circumlocusion way and still sense where he is at about kids,marriage,family,his family etc.Once u think u got the grasp, u kinda let him know too where u at.Dont tell a man str8 up on meeting that u want marriage.He will think,rightly so,thathere is another one,looking to clean me out Be discreet untill u sure about the person.But be4 u commit or date, he already knows about u and u too about him and where each one of u stands.Now after that,its on u to impress and close that deal.Ur deads,not words will seal it.And dont give him too much breaks either if u see that there is no potential there,during the dating phase.Be prerpared to quit if he looks like a jelly back(to borrow from Blue) that wont be able to support a home. I alwayz ended my relationships in a selfish way when i thoght i saw smething different to what i, idealy wanted in a woman for lyfe.The only callous thing about me,i always made sure,she slid the panties be4 I walked.That way,she cld salvage her reputation too,smewhat.She not for me,but boy,her azz is tight and right She scores one as consolation,at least!!

By NCGirlfromATL

January 6, 2009 12:31 PM | Link to this

What up slim?! ‘Ey look here, I’m sending over the Mack Of The Week Award. I’m gon’ need you to hand-carry that over to ol’ boy. Looks like he’s sprinkled ol’ girl with that Magic Dust.

I agree lolol! I hate it for her, b/c this is a disaster waiting to happen. She’s too nice and too good a person to go down in flames like this, but she’s also grown. Can’t tell her how to live, so I just hope for the best.

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 12:33 PM | Link to this

Perhaps if you take your head from up *ARED’s azz and clean the poop from your stach….

Dang Stormy, was that even called for. LOL

Still love you poopie Truthy. lol

By Blow Me

January 6, 2009 12:34 PM | Link to this

Truth For the record…on trapping dudes to have babies. I have never been with. Thus the reason I dont’ have any. It’s a sad day to have a child without a real commitment..you are setting yourself up for failure. I want kids but I want to have them with a husband not a baby daddy. More so I want a FAMILY…with agreeing willing party. To each its own and fortunately I have been blessed enough not to have EVER been prego. But using kids as a pawn again goes back to my previous statement…that is being a ghetto skusey. Women want more out of life than to trick or maniuplate you. REAL WOMAN that is. I guess your requirement list leaves alot of room for oversexxed low life skuskies!! lol. So no it’s just not about me…it’s about US. What’s the best for our team? You really have to know the character of a person your dealing with that’s what it boils down to.

By Kym

January 6, 2009 12:35 PM | Link to this

Truth I watched that video link you sent yesterday. I got to session 4 so I will finish up tonight. It was very informative. I knew nothing about the Rothchilds or really how that whole Erron mess really got started. Thanks for the info

By Poppa Grande

January 6, 2009 12:37 PM | Link to this

Angie

*setting a time on something to happen without saying is a good idea. *

If Mrs. PG did that, she would NOT be Mrs. PG. She told me upfront 2 years of dating is the limit. Had she not and then tried to spring that ish on me. I would have thought so much less of her. She would be considered a conniving little waste of a carbon based life form. not worthy of being called human Let me know what I’m dealing with up front, no sneak attacks. If we are to work together, we have to work together. No hidden agendas. That way I have all information needed to make an informed decision.

What happened to the treat others as you’d like to be treated?

By SexyCool - UnCut

January 6, 2009 12:37 PM | Link to this

sometimes, y’all mphckas KILL me…

so, i gotta be all wounded and down and depressed and tore dafcuk up cause an unhealthy relationship is over?

really?

like i said earlier…this is ish was a long time coming…trying to be right, do right and get it right…i stayed in the relationship far longer than i should have…we had been back and forth over issues for most of ‘08…in ways, it was like training for the end to come…

and yes, initially, it hurt…but a bytch ain’t got to lay down and wallow around in that mess…

and where that hurt came from was not for the loss of the relationship that we had, but for the loss of the relationship that should have been…

y’all dudes get it wrong when y’all think a chick doesn’t know how to love AND let go…and that because i’m cool with my shyt, i’m in denial…gtfoh…

trust…right now, i am celebrating the fact that i am better for letting go…

THAT negro fcuked up, i’m good…

see…now i done got all common and shyt…

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 12:38 PM | Link to this

I’ll go to church with you if you don’t leave. Hell, I was just funnin about all that god stuff being phony anyway. And I was just thinking last night how 10 carats of pure cubic zirconia would look on those beautiful fingers. I’m all in. don’t leave me. Please. -

See Ladies, the right woman and that good good can change a man. Even one like Truth! LMAO.

Speaking of relationships that need to die, see Morris Brown. I’m all for history and legacy, but the damage is too extensive. And for those who truly love Morris Brown, they shouldn’t let the school keep walking around looking cracked out. Should have let em die w/ more dignity!

By Tazzee

January 6, 2009 12:39 PM | Link to this

Raqi that is so cute - I think it’s both. I’ve heard men say we’re having a baby but I think him saying that you’re having his baby is adorable.

By M'Karyl

January 6, 2009 12:39 PM | Link to this

G’Day y’all

Dang…hate it when I get in too late…too much to read…lol.

Well, most of these post have been on point…the dude has made it very clear what he desires and intends to do…and so be it…let him go do it…sometimes even what we may feel for other ppl can not stand in the way of what we must do for ourselves…just be like that.

Another thing is that some ppl are * in love with the idea of an emotional attachment*…without actually being in love with the person to whom they have become attached…imagine that…some ppl have a need to put their feelings somewhere even if it is not for the long term…or until something more desirable/demanding, etc. comes up.

And if she continues to remain attached to and involved with someone who has made it unequivocally clear that he has other intentions and desires, then she is responsible for her own delusions and dissappointments…any emotional pain she suffers at this point is all on her…not him.

By Stormy

January 6, 2009 12:40 PM | Link to this

Truth

Furthermore…I think you may have displaced anger. None of us are that woman (women) you spilled yo seed up in and now she got you dancing the white folks child support cha-cha cause you put yo skates on you rolled/bounced off the scene….It wasn’t us, dude. She is not we and we are not her.

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

January 6, 2009 12:41 PM | Link to this

Truth This system isnt set up for me to win. I submit that under current law a father is one step lower that the coward you say leaves the family. A strong cats gonna rule, even if he has to leave to do so.

…now handing Truth his Honorary Doctorate For Truthology.

A guy today gets the best out of you when he nuts on your chest and bounces. He’s up 1-0 and is smart to end the game right then.

My bad Truth, I forgot the Cum Laude Ropes.

By The Truth

January 6, 2009 12:41 PM | Link to this

This isn’t about hurting or not hurting. If you’re human you feel pain, its a part of the human condition.

This is about raising yourself above whatever feeling you currently have to accomplish the goal you previously set. If having a wife and family wasn’t your goal and now you’re considering it so you wont hurt your mate your weak and will wind up resenting your family anyway.

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

January 6, 2009 12:43 PM | Link to this

NCGirl I know a few women like that. Very booksmart but turn into Queen Stuck-on-Stupid when it comes to me. I feel like if I smack them with a book on BS that men shovel maybe it will make a lightbulb come on in thier heads….ding! LOL

Raqi were able to keep Christmas dinner down? LOL So how far along are you?

By QC

January 6, 2009 12:43 PM | Link to this

Happy Tuesday Bloggers

Enjoy the rest of your day…

Smooches BK

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 12:44 PM | Link to this

She told me upfront 2 years of dating is the limit.

PG, you know you’re different from most dudes tho. A lot of guys view that as an ultimatum and will resent a girl for trying to dictate his life.

I’ve set time limits, internally, but I am also clear about what I want, which is marriage. If after the two years, it doesn’t look like it is going down that road, I’m free to leave. I don’t think I have to then impose an ultimatum. If he wanted to make it official in that time, there was nothing stopping him.

By Stormy

January 6, 2009 12:46 PM | Link to this

SexyCool

Shake’em off. LMAO

By SexyCool - UnCut

January 6, 2009 12:46 PM | Link to this

melo..i am at the office…will be back at my desk in about 45 minutes…

By Blow Me

January 6, 2009 12:46 PM | Link to this

Truth Yes its official..You do say anything just to say it. You are now null and void. Like I said…get a woman with some character and something to bring to the table…besides the best way to tickle your balls. lmao!

I don’t want to take you to the bank..I want you to help stay with the team and help raise our kids TOGETHER! I don’t want anymore from you than I am willing to put out. It explain why you want to be the breadwinner and don’t want your woman paying nothing…sounds good but your pure motivates are to control her and for her to NEED you. Get a chick with some substance that can compliment you instead of being beneath you. You don’t have to play the game like that….you don’t.

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 12:50 PM | Link to this

LOL. Okay SexyCool. I’m glad you are okay. I know you would be. But I know you are sad too.

Weren’t you guys living together? Who has to move out?

By MELO

January 6, 2009 12:50 PM | Link to this

melo..i am at the office…will be back at my desk in about 45 minutes okay,lunch on friday is on me.I will seek u…..

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

January 6, 2009 12:51 PM | Link to this

SexyCool see…now i done got all common and shyt…

You ain’t got sh!t. It was already in ya.

By The Truth

January 6, 2009 12:55 PM | Link to this

Cool keep your head up and move forward smartly. Its not the end of the world, just that chapter. I applaud you.

If any of you ladies have friends with low self esteem, low morals and that use sex to keep men please shoot them my email addie.

Kym those Rothschilds have been rulers of the world for 300 years. How can you be so rich they can’t even count your wealth? It gets better.

Blow your life evolved from a Harlequin novel but has played out like Smut Magazine. What you have is agreat plan, if you can just find a captian for that ship.

What I’m saying is this thing isn’t about you and me anymore, its about the system thats in place to control us. As soon as you pop out those kids you have an entire legal system at your disposal. Their goal is to make me a villian and tow the line. I don’t want to tow their line. I want to live on my terms hence my decision to sit this shyt out.

By Poppa Grande

January 6, 2009 12:56 PM | Link to this

AR

A lot of guys view that as an ultimatum and will resent a girl for trying to dictate his life.

That is his problem, not the female’s problem.

Not telling him your terms is misleading and will lead to resentment and mistrust. It is in the same boat as getting knocked up to keep a guy. Lowdown and dirty…plain childish.

If he bounces after your hearing your terms, it is his right as well. It saves time. Time is the most valuable commodity on earth.

By SexyCool - UnCut

January 6, 2009 12:56 PM | Link to this

and for more of what was already in me…fcuk you and the horse you rode in on…lol…

ared…he moved…

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

January 6, 2009 12:57 PM | Link to this

Line 1: sometimes, y’all mphckas KILL me… <=== That doesn’t exactly sound uptown to me. LOL

By i'm swiss

January 6, 2009 12:58 PM | Link to this

I’m late chiming in, so I’m sure somebody’s already shed some light on this, but just in case, allow me to translate for you:

“I love you but I don’t want to be tied to any one area as I look for jobs”

Equals:

“I don’t love you, but you’re a cool chic, and I’d very much like to continue f@#king you while I’m still in town (and possibly on the occasional weekend visit); however, I’m pretty certain you’d never go for that, so I’m making up this BS excuse in a lame attempt to keep you emotionally attached enough to give up the goods from time to time (which, I expect, will work like a charm).”

I’d say that about sums it up. ;-)

By AR aka Attention W hore

January 6, 2009 1:00 PM | Link to this

Chile please quit! You posting as Lurker to keep the attention on you. Sad, very sad.

By M'Karyl

January 6, 2009 1:00 PM | Link to this

Rogelio was someone whom I believed to be the love and soulmate of my life (23 years ago)…and our times together were good…great…but when he told me that he needed to free himself to pursue his dreams ( he was a fierce latino percussionist)…and that the relationship with me was not conducive to his goals…I let him go do what he needed to do…it only made sense…but I have a different take on love and how we share it with ppl…I would rather someone that I cared about be happy with the life he needed to live, than to stay with me and not be able to do so…amen for the good times.

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 1:02 PM | Link to this

If he bounces after your hearing your terms, it is his right as well. It saves time. Time is the most valuable commodity on earth.

PG, you know I don’t disagree. But we are also conditioned to get defensive on ultimatums.

If I tell you I want to get married, and you also state marriage is on the agenda, I don’t think you must issue a timeline. But it sure makes it easier. You didn’t even need it, but I’m glad you had it.

Trust, the way you and your wife did it works for me. I like having all the cards on the table.

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 1:03 PM | Link to this

PoppaG stop bringing up old stuff. i.e. til death.

On a lighter note. You seem to have forgoten to tell us what was New Year celebration, for the other, King of Big Feet….

By Raqi

January 6, 2009 1:03 PM | Link to this

melo yeah, in so many words.

Truth (see my comment to melo)

LOL Tazzee. My baby bump is now showing so he is just ecstatic. It’s funny because it’s like once I finally accepted it I blossomed over night.

Staceye LOL. 14 weeks. My food choices were limited so there wasn’t much to lose in the come back. This past week has been a really good week. I weigh less now than I did before I got pregnant which is not good but we are working on it. A diet consisting of six small meals a day in an effort to pack on the necessary pounds. Since I am not tossing my cookies every day now, we are on the upward sweep.

By Kym

January 6, 2009 1:05 PM | Link to this

I thought these lyrics were app for the topic today…

It was the right time. She was the real thing. I had to walk away.

Don’t wanna be, stitched up out of my mind Feeling strung out, laggin’ behind All trapped in, can’t do a thing because I’m Locked down Stitched up, feeling the burn All strung out, I finally learn that Trapped in, can’t do a thing because I’m Locked down

That girl is flawless, and I know I’m not the first one to think that And since I’m not the first, I sure won’t be the last I’d spend my whole life looking behind my back I just don’t think I’m up to that Don’t wanna be, stitched up out of my mind Feeling strung out, laggin’ behind All trapped in, can’t do a thing because I’m Locked down Stitched up, feeling the burn All strung out, I finally learn that Trapped in, can’t do a thing because I’m Locked down

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

January 6, 2009 1:06 PM | Link to this

SexyCool …fcuk you and the horse you rode in on…lol…

See? Now you tryin’ to get funky. I’ma slip that one, and watch it go by, but realize that you got a free one and don’t come back that way.

…’Cause the next time, I might have to test your chin, or send one into your stomach.

By MELO

January 6, 2009 1:07 PM | Link to this

have friends with low self esteem, low morals and that use sex to keep men please shoot them my email addie there are several such women and Blow knows that too.The only thing is they dont blog here coz they are not that good with words/computer etc but they are there around.Otherwise how do u explain all these dudes paying child support and getting cleaned out?? BY my un-scientific melo estimate,every 1 in 3 black chic thats 21 and over has a baby or babies.Truth,u forgot to put ur addy!

By Raqi

January 6, 2009 1:08 PM | Link to this

Sexycool I think it is just hard for some men to accept that we are actually able to function without them. (Responding based on the comments directed at you)

The thing I had with Whitebread was he lived to make my life hell after our breakup. He wanted me to always be upset. He did things using our son to make sure of that…he thought. When he saw that I had moved on and was not moping over him, he got right.

By 2sunny

January 6, 2009 1:11 PM | Link to this

@ NY2GA today I’m very needy. I’m having a warm and fuzzy moment ova here

By Dan

January 6, 2009 1:12 PM | Link to this

@Blow

Can we have the conversation without the attack?

You know nothing of the women that I date. And for the record, I am far from knowing the female mind, statistically alone that’s impossible.

I’m basing mine on purely generalities and specific women that I have dealt with.

It’s not about him giving you respect, you have to respect yourself, and he follows accordingly. No one can give you an emotion or mental state that you don’t possess.

@Auntie

I just wanted to know how it all worked out. I am glad that it did. And there is no gift any woman could give me than having my child.

Of course he’s happy!

By M'Karyl

January 6, 2009 1:14 PM | Link to this

I can understand that some ppl have to figure out emotional values and how to put them into the right relationship situations…we all grow through this phase…and I believe too that some ppl become emotionally involved in order to satisfy a personal need of attachment and it benefits…and that other person is just that opportunity to do so…and so many others get caught in the trap because they do not have a clue that’s whats up…and some ppl are fool enough to believe that if they hang in there and love the other person enough, then that person will change and reciprocate…* Bull Manure*…ppl have different motivations for emotional attachment to others, and some of it is all selfishly based…period…once you can read that sentence on the page, then you either put the book down or keep on reading.

By Lurker

January 6, 2009 1:16 PM | Link to this

AR aka Attention Chile please quit! You posting as Lurker to keep the attention on you. Sad, very sad. What’s really sad is I’m Lurker as the moniker indicated I’m not ARed and she’s not trying to keep anything going. I posted as lurker, as I always do and I posted my thoughts/opinion as I’m free to do. No matter it doesn’t jive with how you think it should or that I’m not in some big hoopla of agreeance. I stated what I stated because that/those are my opinions. I don’t care if you’re small enough to think “it’s keeping stuff started” get over it. I think ARed has proven no need to hide. I don’t have a need or reason either. I don’t want a moniker and a lurker is what I am. Been here before the vast majority that posts except SexyCool Diva I remember when each of you made your entrance. So it’s just me, the same ole lurker

By Poppa Grande

January 6, 2009 1:16 PM | Link to this

Cee

On a lighter note. You seem to have forgoten to tell us what was New Year celebration, for the other, King of Big Feet….

I had a nice big cup of theura-flu.

I hadn’t had the flu since the 90s yet this ninja bug got me on Christmas day. I woke up feeling fine but by the end of the the Celtics/Lakers game I wasn’t well at all. At least the Lakers snapped the Celtics winning streak that day at 19

I am just now getting where I don’t cough every 10 minutes. Some diseased relative gave me a gift that I didn’t want.

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 1:17 PM | Link to this

….warm fuzzies are a good thing. Long as they are coming from the right place…

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 1:21 PM | Link to this

I don’t want a moniker and a lurker is what I am. Been here before the vast majority that posts except SexyCool Diva I remember when each of you made your entrance

Oh..so you’re like Queen Bee Lurker! lol

To be honest, I expected some trolls today. Maybe they are still sleeping under the bridge. lol

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

January 6, 2009 1:22 PM | Link to this

Raqi I think it is just hard for some men to accept that we are actually able to function without them. (Responding based on the comments directed at you)

Normally you’re top shelf, but go back and count how many respondents were female.

By M'Karyl

January 6, 2009 1:22 PM | Link to this

@ARed

When I moved to the ATL in ‘83…Morris Brown was trying to get its accreditation back…and it has always been in some sort of dire straits…someone who worked once at Morris Brown told me that of all of the schools in the AUC group, Morris Brown had the least number of alums contributing to their alma mater compared to the other schools…and that was one factor working against their favor…amonst other things…and then the Prez is charged with some theft issue…and now, the alum and others want to come together to save the school…where were they 25 years or more ago???

By kimmie

January 6, 2009 1:23 PM | Link to this

PG - If he bounces after your hearing your terms, it is his right as well. It saves time. Time is the most valuable commodity on earth. You ain’t neva lied on that one! I kinda like what Melo said on this one also.

Angie - The men are dropping some jewels today. No you don’t have to go planning the wedding on the 1st date, but letting a guy know what you aspirations and future plans are, in a non-threatening way is being grown up and part of the getting-to-know-you! If I could get back some of those years that I mistakenly allowed myself to be strung along, scared I was going to run a dude away, when I didn’t really have them in the 1st place - but you can’t get that precious time back! A guy I dated for 2 years started tripping when I finally got the guts to tell him I saw marriage & kids in my future and it looked like he did not see the same. I quickly calmed him down when I told him I did not see those things WITH HIM! Needless to say, it took about 2 years of ignored phone calls for him to get the message I moved on with someone who shared my vision.

Truth - See, that’s why our divorce must stay in place, never to be reversed! You are blatantly trying to get at my friend Amred right under my nose, begging like a little puppy! You are scandilous!!!!!!LOL!!!

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 1:23 PM | Link to this

lol

PoppaG

Diseased relative walking around you on strap! haha I didn’t know about that flu bug…ugh…Stay away from me!

Lakers/Celtics game was well worth watching all 4 qtrs. Now lastnight the Nuggets had a good game. I see Texas upset OSU…Well, better luck next time.

By The Truth

January 6, 2009 1:23 PM | Link to this

I’m Swiss Why couldn’t the guy have loved the chick but decided thats not where he wants his life to go? Is love the default standard, meaning whenever you hit the sweet spot everything else becomes secondary so you can address this love thing? Love is an emotion, one of many. Don’t put all your stock in any one emotion because they all change over time.

Raqi what time was that reply to melo? I’m still having a problem knowing that IF I need you I cant reach you.

Stormy why the displaced anger? I’d have displaced anger if a chick told me she was pregnant and I had to decide where I was going to relocate. Now thats anger. I simply look at the sentence before I do the crime. something doesn’t add up in here.

By I HATE ATTENTION WHOR3S!

January 6, 2009 1:25 PM | Link to this

AR A.K.A ATTENTION W*******

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY NAME!!

THERE IS ONLY ONE ME!!

CARRY ON!

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 1:27 PM | Link to this

Mo what’s in my Pocketbook? Naythin! I need a snack…these energy drinks make me hongry for some reason. maybe i need to stop sampling these energy bars/drinks

By Kym

January 6, 2009 1:27 PM | Link to this

Truth I will have to get his book so I can really read and refer back to it. I was trying to tell a co-worker about the author and what I learned..I just sent her a link to his site. The whole documentary is really incredible.

For those who like this sort of thing…The Terracotta Army at the High is wonder..and I do mean absolutely beautiful. The detail is incredible I was absolutely amazed. To think they have survived 2,000 years..we went on Saturday.(First Saturday is free for Fulton County Residents)

By Poppa Grande

January 6, 2009 1:30 PM | Link to this

Cee

Now lastnight the Nuggets had a good game

Carmelo broke his hand in that game last night.

I see Texas upset OSU

It wasn’t an upset in my eyes. I picked Texas yesterday. It was tougher than I expected, but I expected the veteran QB to lead his team to victory. Ohio State has not won a bowl game since stealing that game against Miami for the National Championship. They have lost every bowl game since. Not mention the Maurice Clarett mess that happened after that. Karma is bytch and she knows Columbus, Ohio.

Jim Tressel seems so sleazy to me like he would try to sell me a used car without letting me get a carfax report…

By Raqi

January 6, 2009 1:31 PM | Link to this

BlueK there’s an explanation for that. I was only reading her responses so it seemed as if the men folk were making the comments from what she was saying. However I still stand by the notion that there a more than a few men than can’t grasp that a woman can happily exist immediately after departing from them.

But yeah…my hormones are in play.

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

January 6, 2009 1:33 PM | Link to this

Dan It’s not about him giving you respect, you have to respect yourself, and he follows accordingly. No one can give you an emotion or mental state that you don’t possess.

Most chicks don’t get this. That’s why they are:

By MELO

January 6, 2009 1:33 PM | Link to this

Times are hard but i believe some black mufckkas are making a killing on the begging circuit: there was this short dude,wearing a red jacket on the train from Indian Creek this morning.He was in there shouting to allhelp me plz,i need a dallar(not dollar),help me plz, i need a dallar Looking at him,u wld have thoght, here is a brother whose stars turned on him.His expression was dull and sour but in hindsight,it was proffsnal.A lot of folks in there gave him some wads of cash. I dropped out at 5 to catch the nrth/south line and 2 stations dwn,he came in my car blurping,help me plz,i need a dallar.Not as many takers this time but what struck me waz that at the next station,2 ladies and a guy he knew came in and the trio + him were all cozy and cracking up and giving each other howdies.U shld have seen the expression on this other black bro rider who was in there with me,among others.It looked real scamy!!The guy’s face changed to sunshine.No more help me plzes,just regular banter with his homies. I bet the guy had jus finished his graveyard shift at mickydees/wendys etc and deicided to go begg and get sme extra$$.Be warned!

By Angie

January 6, 2009 1:34 PM | Link to this

m’karyl i would rather someone that I cared about be happy with the life he needed to live, than to stay with me and not be able to do so…amen for the good times. get outta my head.

poppa that’s not playin’ games! let’s agree to disagree.

sexyc it’s time to go out and buy something pretty. wink you’ll be fine.

kimmie i won’t be repeating that mistake again. he knows. btw, the chefs on top chef need to step up their game. they really suck this season.

it’s going to be a great year folks!

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 1:35 PM | Link to this

Kym Touring The China Terrocatta Army was like being in history class. Did you have the audio tour? I used the family option, & it was waaaayyy more enlightening story telling. My feet still hurt from walking the exhibit 1hr+ in heels…

By Poppa Grande

January 6, 2009 1:35 PM | Link to this

Cee

You what was really messed up? I woke up right before midnight on New Years Eve and got up to see the count down. What do I see instead some drag queen in a giant shoe in Miami? That was a messed up thing to see on Medication.

The wife had it on CNN with Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin. She was actually funny enough to make me laugh in between coughs

By Lurker

January 6, 2009 1:35 PM | Link to this

ARED Queen Bee Lurker Like that…that would be me.

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 1:36 PM | Link to this

Why couldn’t the guy have loved the chick but decided thats not where he wants his life to go?

Truth - Amen. I’ve had to hear that I’m not only loved but adored. In addition, maybe even worth shaking up with. But that marriage plundge is not for eveyone. Neither is the kid plundge. Especially when you know that you’re with someone who doesn’t see divorce as an out. You gotta respect that.

Until you get the wedding invitation that he’s marrying someone else. Then he’s just a jerk. LOL

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 1:36 PM | Link to this

Why couldn’t the guy have loved the chick but decided thats not where he wants his life to go?

Truth - Amen. I’ve had to hear that I’m not only loved but adored. In addition, maybe even worth shaking up with. But that marriage plundge is not for eveyone. Neither is the kid plundge. Especially when you know that you’re with someone who doesn’t see divorce as an out. You gotta respect that.

Until you get the wedding invitation that he’s marrying someone else. Then he’s just a jerk. LOL

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 1:41 PM | Link to this

I was hoping for Ohio.

PoppaG

I actually wanted OSU to win, over Texas. always have gon’ for the undedogs.

you and them idioms…

By Jamoca el Filibustera

January 6, 2009 1:41 PM | Link to this

Afternoon ya’ll…..

It seems as though some of us tend to look down on others for simply being human. Ever try touching a hot iron and controlling those natural reflects when your nerves send messages to your brain that you’ve been burnt?…and to think it only takes a split second at that. Unlike relationships whereas a whole lot mo’ than just time has been invested.

As I’ve said before and still believe, ALL good things take time…and taking time to convince someone, ANYONE will not be one of them…as I am unapologetic of my imperfect ways…however, I believe there is no deadline for self improvement, otherwise we’d be perfect… at some point.

I wonder would it be labeled low self esteem/no sense of self worth for a wife or heyal, a husband who decided s/he would rather fight for the marriage, considering the guy is not abusive or outright disrespectful…just simply wants out.

Since the main difference is they are bound via legal documentation, because I would think, regardless of the certificate, they are BOTH together because they WANT to be.

So is it to be understood, the piece of paper justifies THE FIGHT ?…even though the course of action is basically the same.

…just anotha filibusta of Jamoca’s thoughts…sigh

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

January 6, 2009 1:44 PM | Link to this

kimmie I quickly calmed him down when I told him I did not see those things WITH HIM! Needless to say, it took about 2 years of ignored phone calls for him to get the message I moved on with someone who shared my vision.

See? As usual I am amazed at these jellyback dudes yoll come on here talking about - no pride at all. Yoll chicks be virtually spitting in dudes’ faces and they’re still camping on your front porch. WTF’s up with that?

A chick tells me anything remotely close to something like that and she ain’t ever gon’ hear from me.

Raqi But yeah…my hormones are in play.

My bad, you got a 14-month pass on all BS that might come from your screen. Congrats!!!

…and yeah, you get an extra 5 months after the birth for being p!ssed off for having to get up all night with the new shordy and dealing with Mase asking, “Baby, is the cAt ready yet?”.

By Poppa Grande

January 6, 2009 1:45 PM | Link to this

Melo

I knew a guy that did that begging thing and made mad loot. He worked at nursing home, but would ride the train to the North Avenue state (Right beside BellSouth/AT&T).

He got caught and the nursing home fired him eventually. His boss actually saw him panhandling near the Fox Theater one evening while the boss was attending Mama Mia.

However, he said that he was working at the nursing home just for the benefits (i.e. health insurance), but he made tons of loot (tax free loot) by panhandling.

Dude tried to sue for wrongful termination because he wasn’t fired due to any work related actions. We represented the employer and he learned then that Georgia is an “at will” state, and found out what that meant.

BTW, this dude was Caucasian.

By NCGirlfromATL

January 6, 2009 1:45 PM | Link to this

I feel like if I smack them with a book on BS that men shovel maybe it will make a lightbulb come on in thier heads….ding!

Staceye LMAO!!

*In the blue trunks, weighing in at a buck-twenty-five, with “War & Peace” in her right hand and “He’s Just Not That Into You” in her left, The Book Assassin, Staaaaaaaaceeeeeeeeeeeeeyeeeeeeeeeee!!!

And in the red trunks, weighing in at 135lbs, wearing her Doctorate degree, honors ropes and a burned out lightbulb it’s Sally “Whatdoyoumeanyoudon’twantarelationship? Stoooopiiiiiiid!*

By Leggs

January 6, 2009 1:46 PM | Link to this

Yes, ARed, her post was stupid. You know I didn’t mean you (LOL).

Great post Blow Me (12:14).

Love the countdown…wait until 7 or 8. It gives you time to think hopefully put your brain back in proper gear.

SexyCool, you’re good and we, well I, know you won’t wallow in any shyt for no one. Ok to feel the pain, recognize it’s effect on you and move on! As you stated, it’s his loss. He fycked up, not you.

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 1:46 PM | Link to this

naw!

some drag queen in a giant shoe in Miami? That was a messed up thing to see on Medication.

PoppaG didn’t see me say, i’m drinking this energy juice? ‘come on mayne!!! dang

By kimmie

January 6, 2009 1:48 PM | Link to this

Angie - Yeah, they are a hot mess. They should have known they would have to “bring it” in NYC!

Truth - I’m still not through with telling you off! Here you were trying yesterday to get back with me when you THOUGHT you could get some free flight benefits! I feel so USED!!LOL!

By Kym

January 6, 2009 1:49 PM | Link to this

Cee No we just walked through..and read all the displays.

kimmie I am thinking of borrowing a idea from you..I am thinking of doing karate with my son. I want to get more active but I am not feeling doing the traditional gym and walking groups. How did you go about finding the right school? I am not trying to get some long contract.

By Leggs

January 6, 2009 1:51 PM | Link to this

Yes, ARed, her post was stupid. You know I didn’t mean you (LOL).

Great post Blow Me (12:14).

Love the countdown…wait until 7 or 8. It gives you time to think hopefully put your brain back in proper gear.

SexyCool, you’re good and we, well I, know you won’t wallow in any shyt for no one. Ok to feel the pain, recognize it’s effect on you and move on! As you stated, it’s his loss. He fycked up, not you.

By MELO

January 6, 2009 1:51 PM | Link to this

Truth i think Stormy and Blow’s response to ur posts and what u desire is typical when u ending a relatioisnhip that a female thoght was for keeps.They smwhow thing its a fable,a lie and that a man wld never want that and that u proly seeing smeone else or that if she continues to sling it,ull change.I dont know why it can be so good that their brains get overtaken by reality. Ur programme, i wld have taken it if i had come to the states in my young 20s.Its admirable,nothing to lose and so many good pickings of females.Its the best of both worlds. And even tho i know there are good african american women out there,the risk/odds of getting/ picking the wrong one is high,so u say phucckk it.I wld still be on my own,with a decent condo or house and maintaining a daily rotation,7 days a week.Im married mainly coz i maintain an african home in america.So many people,on her side(typical african custom) weigh on her even from afar that the chances of her adopting some other wacky american girl standards are slim.But if she flips out and refuses to be on my programme,im also done coz the laws are the same as u descibe.

By SexyCool - UnCut

January 6, 2009 1:52 PM | Link to this

ooooooooo, i’m scared now, fatboy…(laughing)…

By Poppa Grande

January 6, 2009 1:52 PM | Link to this

Cee

I was hoping for Ohio.

I grew up rooting for Michigan…so I can never root for the Buckeyes.

I must admit, though, I am glad that they had a good season. Cameron Heyward plays for them, and he is a good kid.

Cameron Heyward is the son of former Falcon and former Saint Craig “Ironhead” Heyward. Ironhead died a few years ago.

Other than that, I could care less about duh Ohio State University football team.

By Angie

January 6, 2009 1:52 PM | Link to this

some relationships deserve a second chance. hear say you.

sexyc is he worth it? you know he’ll be back asking for a do over. they all come back.

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

January 6, 2009 1:55 PM | Link to this

Norf Cack That fight scene with Staceye was crazy. LMAO lemme add something…

Fight Announcer: As Stacey enters the ring finishing her cup of Coke, she throws the ice on 4 dudes sitting ringside in Row A.

4 Dudes: Dayum Bish! :/

By SexyCool - UnCut

January 6, 2009 1:58 PM | Link to this

angie…only a dog returns to its vomit…

By M'Karyl

January 6, 2009 1:59 PM | Link to this

@Melo

Mayne…there be some regulars on the train begging for cash…there was one dude who was always in new tims and shyte, fresh dickies and such…talking about “hep me, hep me out…someo f htose ppl ride the train from E to W, N to S all day begging for money…there is a list of characters…best not try that shyte here in South Hampton…they too quick to lock you up…but, hey-ale…they just have a band of street roaming thugs here…lol…cuz the pub trans ain’t jack.

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 2:00 PM | Link to this

Kym *No we just walked through..and read all the displays.

Probably was a faster viewing.

The detail on the exhibits were worth the history lesson.

PoppaG I don’t remember C. Heyward. What position?

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

January 6, 2009 2:00 PM | Link to this

Norf Cack As you stated, it’s his loss. He fycked up, not you.

Has any female on here ever said this ^^^ same thing, but found themselves still calling dude?

I’m wondering if any of the chicks that kept calling me were telling their friends that I fugged up and that it was my loss. Hmmm…

Cool ooooooooo, i’m scared now, fatboy…(laughing)…

You know I ain’t fat.

By For Real

January 6, 2009 2:02 PM | Link to this

Awwww Dayummmmm Here We Go With I’mma Good Woman Ish Again!!!!!

Can one of these “Good Women” please define “Good Woman” without talking about you being an ADULT and taking care of the ish YOU created?????

SexyC Keep your head up like Pastor Al Green said “And this world just keeps on spinning”

NCGirl What up girl!!! Oh and for the record stupid as stupid does. So no matter education, career, fianancial sucess or respect a chick has hitting your pink toe repeatedly on purpose is STUPID!!!! Diving off a cliff is crazy!! Diving off a cliff with no net is Freaky Jason Qwazy!!

Blow Define ghetto skusey

PG I’m with you bruh. Open your mouth and speak like an ADULT!!!

Ared I didn’t read all the post but what’s that about your pole stuck somewhere?

MK and some of it is all selfishly based Strike thru some and all emotion is selfishly based. My philosophy is I butt your wants and needs up against mines. If they don’t match mines then I do what’s best for me.

For Real now reducing IHAW’s font to 6pt. IHAW is now posting like Eddie Murphy in Norbit.

By Raqi

January 6, 2009 2:04 PM | Link to this

Truth for some crazy reason your response just made me remember an issue Mase had last week. He wants to be able to talk to me when he needs to especially if I am just hanging out with my friends or anything “unimportant” like that. He can sometimes be an egotistical jerk. He called one of my friend’s husband and had her tell me to answer my phone because he had been trying to call me for the past 10 minutes. Guess what he wanted to know? If there was any more apple juice stored in basement pantry before he wasted his time going aaaaaall the way down there to see. sigh

BlueK “Baby, is the cAt ready yet?” Hopefully during those 6 weeks after birth he takes into consideration that right now during my days of being underweight and under nourished due what he has already done to me, I am yet allowing the cat to be stroked. And will do so until I just can’t. Palmer will have to do his thing for a short while.

By Blanca

January 6, 2009 2:04 PM | Link to this

ALL Whew, I’m back. Good posts today! I should have mentioned in the topic that my buddy just came out of a bad breakup before dating her current guy…I think that’s why she’s holding on to him so tightly.

Have to correct something though to The Truth *she thought she had roped a MBA grad and wound up with squat. * Ummm, my girl has her MBA and several more job offers than homeboy. In fact, I dont think he even has one.

Does this play into anything?

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 2:06 PM | Link to this

angie…only a dog returns to its vomit…

Yikes. LOL

Ared I didn’t read all the post but what’s that about your pole stuck somewhere?

Shaddup For Real. lol

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

January 6, 2009 2:06 PM | Link to this

Cool only a dog returns to its vomit…

Wondering if you’re exaggerating for the sake of conversation or if you’re really likening dude to some nasty, ground up, slimy, stinkin’ azz vomit. If so, Wow. :o

By Poppa Grande

January 6, 2009 2:06 PM | Link to this

Angie

poppa that’s not playin’ games! let’s agree to disagree.

It is playing games. It is despicable. It is not being above board. Not cool at all.

Adults talk. If you really communication, you have to be able to accept words and actions that you don’t like. Otherwise, you are manipulating situation to your advantage. If he doesn’t know your timeline, then he is at a disadvantage. He doesn’t have all the information needed to make the best decision for him and ultimately, the couple will be affected.

Most men resent the secret planning stuff, especially when it affects their life’s plans as well. Respect gets lost really quickly, and at that point, the female gets downgraded from wifey material. Respect dwindles and he may just look elsewhere for what he needs, and this can happen even if he is in a relationship or marriage.

Most men care about respect first and above all other things. If the female holds out vital information, she isn’t being fair and that is disrespect in my book.

I’m just giving you a male perspective, and holding out information that could make a guy bounce is a method to string a guy along. Females don’t like to be strung along. Why is ok to do it to a guy?

By The Truth

January 6, 2009 2:06 PM | Link to this

Kimmie you knew i was a piece crap when you married me. I say me, you and Ared need to get together TONIGHT and get naked and talk this thing through. We’ll do some ancient touching exercises to center our chakras.

kym the price of karate classes is stupid nowadays. Try an introductory course to make sure you like it. Also, try a style that you can use on the street. Keith Vitale has an american style that is great in street fights or for protection. If that doesn’t work you can borrow my dog.

By Leggs

January 6, 2009 2:06 PM | Link to this

BlueK, probably so. Pretty sure some woman said the very same thing and happily crawled back to the guy!

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 2:07 PM | Link to this

PoppaG The “train guy” story happens way to often. Cain’t say i’m suprised.

By Angie

January 6, 2009 2:08 PM | Link to this

for real you make me sick! i’ll talk to you like an adult if you take the valuable info i’m giving you like one. bustin’ in here with your smart azz.

By kimmie

January 6, 2009 2:09 PM | Link to this

Kym - It’s great and most don’t put a limit on how many classes you can take per week. It is GREAT for kids - teaches self-discipline, respect AND self-defense. My SO found out about it through one of his kid’s schoolmate parents and it happened to be about a mile away from where he lived. If you ask around I bet some of your son’s classmates may be taking it - talk to their parents. You would be surprised at how many people are doing it. The program we are in, Choi Kwang Do and most others like Karate & Tai Kwang Do, you don’t have to get into a contract, you just pay a weekly fee whenever you want. We are in the Black Belt Club, which is committed to pursuing a black belt, so we are in sort of a contract, but most don’t go that route. You and your son will have fun and get in great shape(really stretches you out better than yoga!)

By M'Karyl

January 6, 2009 2:09 PM | Link to this

For Real

Yes, true it is all selfishly based…I am entirely emotionally selfish…me first, last and only…but I do not get involved with relationships that need me to committ emotionally…my point was that some ppl have completely selfish intentions without any concern for the other person…and that is a very callous selfishness…I just do not go there and it is not callous or negative towards someone else’s emotional well-being.

By Leggs

January 6, 2009 2:12 PM | Link to this

BlueK, probably so. Pretty sure some woman said the very same thing and happily crawled back to the guy!

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 2:12 PM | Link to this

We’ll do some ancient touching exercises to center our chakras.

Truth, this is why you’re my dude man. LMAO!!!!!

By Poppa Grande

January 6, 2009 2:14 PM | Link to this

Cee

PoppaG I don’t remember C. Heyward. What position?

I think that he is a defensive tackle. The position that real men play….lol

His height is 6’6” and weight 282 lb. For those that think that football players are short

Chuck Smith is one of defensive line teachers. Chuck has a company that help Dlinemen: Defensive line University. I think that he helped Cameron while Cameron was in high school at Peachtree Ridge High School

By MELO

January 6, 2009 2:14 PM | Link to this

you know he’ll be back asking for a do over. they all come back u seem to have this mentality that if a guy comes back,it validates ur worth.Ur wrong and only hurting urslef if u do.Most dudes come back coz they know u softened up and u will,in most probability want him to hit coz its familiar ground and coz u feel that will bring him back. U know like how the football coaches will put in a 350 pound running back and then bring the throwing game when the defense is now rugged tired. Thats hw homie is play calling it now! U r poosy is nopw there for the taking Angie, ur feeling s are hurt,u in disbileief.Better to cry and hide and take time to strenghen urself than succumb to the sweet tooth.Watch u think.

By M'Karyl

January 6, 2009 2:15 PM | Link to this

@Blanca

I knew that there was something else to her situation…now it all comes together…pre-existing unresolved emotional ishes…imagine that…bless the dear child.

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 2:16 PM | Link to this

*If he doesn’t know your timeline, then he is at a disadvantage. He doesn’t have all the information needed to make the best decision for him and ultimately, the couple will be affected.

Say so!

PoppaG…I take a mantra me in every relationship that forms, or may/maynot form:

“I cain’t stop the rain from falling, but I can keep for drowning from it!”

You gotta speak on it…communication is key.

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

January 6, 2009 2:16 PM | Link to this

Raqi He can sometimes be an egotistical jerk. He called one of my friend’s husband and had her tell me to answer my phone because he had been trying to call me for the past 10 minutes. Guess what he wanted to know? If there was any more apple juice stored in basement pantry before he wasted his time going aaaaaall the way down there to see. sigh

See he just did that to make you laugh. He wasn’t doing sh!t and figured he’d mess with you a little bit.

That sounds like some dumb sh!t that I’d do, like call a mug up at 6AM on saturday with, “Hey babe, you sleep?”. LOL

By SexyCool - UnCut

January 6, 2009 2:17 PM | Link to this

actually, blue, i was paraphrasing proverbs 26:11…

By Angie

January 6, 2009 2:17 PM | Link to this

you have nothing positive to say to the WLB when you step in here! it’s always bullshyt to you what we’re posting. look around azzhole. we are some of the realest women you’ll ever read.

By M'Karyl

January 6, 2009 2:21 PM | Link to this

This Burris mess is embarassing…the brother is being humiliated…not allowed entrance nor his seat in the Senate…dayuuuummm…but he should have known better.

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 2:21 PM | Link to this

Defense win games…yea, yea…yeah.

By For Real

January 6, 2009 2:21 PM | Link to this

Ared Here I found this for you bc I was concerned.

For Real’s Pole Removing Services Call today and receive a free video of pole extraction with each order.

Angie Sick huh? Pull your skirt up. There you go. Now turn to the left and cough. You will be okay. ZIPPPPPPP!! Take two of these….

MK So long as your selfish azz is upfront about it you cool with me.

For Real now brush his teeth with MK’s toothbrush without her knowledge.

Truth ancient touching exercises That’s funny as hellz.

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 2:23 PM | Link to this

u seem to have this mentality that if a guy comes back,it validates ur worth.Ur wrong and only hurting urslef if u do.Most dudes come back coz they know u softened up and u will,in most probability want him to hit coz its familiar ground and coz u feel that will bring him back.

melo, please get that said. Excellent post.

By kimmie

January 6, 2009 2:24 PM | Link to this

PG/Melo - About the begging thing: PG I was thinking about what you said yesterday about not giving money. I am that way too. Back when I used to ride the train this chick asked me for a dollar to ride the train. I happened to have one loose in my pocket(I never dig in my purse & pull out wallet on the street). I gave it to her. She smiled and said “let me have another one”. I almost cussed her out. Another time I was at Captain D’s and this old man was up in there begging for money to buy one piece of fish. Something told me to say no and I did. This other brother looked at me and rolled his eyes and then turned around and gave the man a few dollars. How about the minute he turned his back the old man pulled out a roll bigger than his fist of money and yes, got one piece of fish! When I got up to the counter the clerk told me I was right to not give him anything and that the old man came in there all the time begging but had plenty of money! I help people all the time in other ways, but I’m not giving out money to con artists on the street anymore!

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

January 6, 2009 2:24 PM | Link to this

Pop Most men resent the secret planning stuff, especially when it affects their life’s plans as well. Respect gets lost really quickly, and at that point, the female gets downgraded from wifey material. Respect dwindles and he may just look elsewhere for what he needs, and this can happen even if he is in a relationship or marriage.

If I ain’t know better, I’d swear that you had a sight glass into my mind under “Blue and YoYo”. Don’t do that again, or I might have to call The Lord and tell him that somebody’s been double-dippin’ in the Psychic Powers line.

By Blow Me

January 6, 2009 2:28 PM | Link to this

Leggs You know the good post always get over looked by the fellas! lol!

Dan I am not attacking you. I am just educating you. I do not care who or what you are dating..but the thought you are protraying about how woman is incorrect. Just from your post I can tell you are messing with a confused type. lol. The generalites are wrong and a the dead beat type…basically you are confirming what I said. . I know the type….skum buckets. Coming to the table with a wet snatch and high hopes…again re elevate what you want and need!

Truth Please….

Melo Interesting I was speaking with a friend of mine who just return from his trip from Africa. It was enlighten to know a man’s manhood is based on his family. Somethings should remain a tradition and standards. Instead of I’ll fly out of the seat of my pants and screw whoever I can without commitment or sound future. It sounds dumb and stupid and so inmature.

Also for the record my “flower” is not the best thing I have to offer….its the last. So I have yet to say how well I can tickle his balls and ride him senseless 69 ways til sunday. I never once brag about petty things…and neither have any of the women on this blog. AGAIN…I want you guys to refer to the Caliber of women that is on this VERY blog.

Single (some married), working ladies…90% of the ladies on here are blogging from work. very supportive, a great mind frame…(oh yeah some of the women on here needs attention more than others (Beautiful)) lol! but none the less is coming to the table with a TRUCK LOAD of things to offer. No one wants a baby daddy we want a respectable, mutually loving relationship. What’s so wrong with that?

Stop thinking real women are trying to turn you out strictly on sex….if they are it’s the only thing they have to offer. Women feel like they can use this because that’s what you guys can only think about. and SEX sometimes is the thing that drives you.

REAL WOMEN WILL NOT TRY TO TRICK YOU WITH THEIR SNATCH…We have better and greater things to offer, besides a wet hole.

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 2:29 PM | Link to this

For Real, thanks for the offer, but the my pole is not stuck to anything but my ceiling and floor. So I don’t know where your malfunction is.

By M'Karyl

January 6, 2009 2:29 PM | Link to this

@PG

Amen on that 2:06 post…operative Adult communication…I do not understand, nor have I ever, ppl need to have these tactic hidden agendas when approaching a relationship…more Bull Manure…what type of relationship can develop when there is all of this hidden and deceptive jive…put the cards on the table…and if you do not like the rules of the game you are playing…throw down your hand and walk…keeping it real from jump street will keep it right on the road.

By lurker

January 6, 2009 2:30 PM | Link to this

Melo u seem to have this mentality that if a guy comes back,it validates ur worth.Ur wrong and only hurting urslef if u do.Most dudes come back coz they know u softened up and u will,in most probability want him to hit coz its familiar ground and coz u feel that will bring him back I agree

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

January 6, 2009 2:31 PM | Link to this

Ared melo, please get that said. Excellent post.

Any female playing attention on this blog will see that dudes here provide more than enough ammo on here to sink most S.S. Bullships.

By Kym

January 6, 2009 2:33 PM | Link to this

Truth I am thinking of doing this as a family fun-health option for me and the boy. I was not thinking of hand to hand combat classes. Just a fun -non traditional way of getting fit. Trust me I am not trying to go broke.

kimmie there is a place not to far from us at Greenbriar they have Tang Soo Do??? The rec center offers Tai Kwong Do classes but the timing for classes does not work out well for us. I will keep searching.

By Ayn Rand was Right

January 6, 2009 2:33 PM | Link to this

Are you kidding me…cut the bugger loose. He is PLAYING your friend big time. Tell her broken hearts mend better with dignity.

By MELO

January 6, 2009 2:34 PM | Link to this

I wonder where slimone is.People shld not worry too much about this economic melt down coz even millionaires nd billionaires are getting hit.Another bilionaire just got hit purposely by a train,and died.Suicide pple!! Aint that lovely.And Maddof cleaned out some real heavy hitters.Their money gone.See.Whether u thoght u had it be4 or not,we all the same now,its all good company.Maddorf,uall heard aboput him,the mufckker just cleaned them out.Lyfe is good.So pple,dont worry,its gonna be alright coz the playing field is being leveled.LMAOF!!!

By M'Karyl

January 6, 2009 2:35 PM | Link to this

@For Real

Aww shucks…now my life is complete…I am cool with you…LOL…and you better be careful…it may not be the toothbrush I use to clean my teeth…I also use the old ones to clean the cracks and crevices of the sinks, tubs and toilets…lol

By Angie

January 6, 2009 2:36 PM | Link to this

melo like i said, some relationships deserve a second chance. not third, fourth. a lot of women see reasons why to give in. they either have history with him or it can be just love.

i’m not the only one guilty of this.

poppa it worked for her. good for her.

and with that i’m out!

By M'Karyl

January 6, 2009 2:38 PM | Link to this

@Melo

Madoff jacked some folks up bad, dude…there have been a few suicides behind that scandal…and many lost fortunes…and it ain’t over yet…still more to come…shyte…well, at least I am in the same place that I started from.

By lurker

January 6, 2009 2:39 PM | Link to this

Melo u seem to have this mentality that if a guy comes back,it validates ur worth.Ur wrong and only hurting urslef if u do.Most dudes come back coz they know u softened up and u will,in most probability want him to hit coz its familiar ground and coz u feel that will bring him back

What do you say to those dudes or your experiences where you wanted to but knew better than to not even try it. Suck it up and let that one ride? Chaulked it up as your loss or not that serious?

By kimmie

January 6, 2009 2:41 PM | Link to this

Kym - The place we go to is in Smyrna, they are headquartered in Kennesaw, but they have about 8 locations all over the city. What is great about Choi is that it involves rounded movements that are easy on the joints, as opposed to other forms that are more jerky. But yes, there are classes of martial arts forms all over the city that will meet your time needs as well so check around. SO’s kid’s school offers Tai but only to the students, not to the parents as well. There are several families involved at our center. Good luck!

By MELO

January 6, 2009 2:42 PM | Link to this

Blow Me I jus gave u an upgrade based on that 2.28 post to me.U in another sphere right now.U have never posted like that since i been here past 3 yrs.Im booked this friday but will see if i can get u a spot just to audition and strut ur stuff.Im scouting for potentials……..

By Dan

January 6, 2009 2:42 PM | Link to this

@Blow

Color me confused, what are you saying? not understanding

By Blow Me

January 6, 2009 2:45 PM | Link to this

For Real

Ghetto Skussie-the women the guys date on this blog…lol. Low life…can’t live life without a man. Nothing to offer but sex and trying to take a man for everything he has.

By The Truth

January 6, 2009 2:45 PM | Link to this

Blow you chicks are always talking about a traditional man but you’re not traditional women. When, if ever, have you ever cooked 3 meals in a day? And McD’s doesnt count. In africa those cats aren’t sponsoring chicks that have been run up in as much as you all have. In 99% of the free world when a chicks been knocked off as much as some of you have they get titles. Ho comes to mind.

Quit asking for shyt you cant give. You want to be free and grown to make your own decisions and thats cool. But dont turn around and act like Aunt Jamima when you meet a cat you like. When you do that you force a guy to appear stupid just to overlook the shyt you’re pulling over his eyes.

Now go make some pancakes with peanut butter and syrup. Go on now.

By MELO

January 6, 2009 2:48 PM | Link to this

Suck it up and let that one ride? Chaulked it up as your loss or not that serious? rephrase the qstion,i aint getting it.Are u lurker male or female so i put it in perspective?? lemme knw,getting my coffee fix right now.

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 2:53 PM | Link to this

Melo Slim is in Vegas. And thanks for enlightening the ladies about keeping our perspective about once we’ve signed up for the team/family.

The piggyback from Blow was on point too.

By Leggs

January 6, 2009 2:56 PM | Link to this

That tickled me Truth, because I cook 3 meals a day on the weekends. I cook our breakfast, our lunch and our dinner. Been doing it since she was born. Now, must admit I don’tcook dinner on Friday. We all can find some hodge podge meal in the fridge. If not, bacon and eggs or pancakes will be our dinner.

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 2:58 PM | Link to this

I gave my guy a second chance. Even though I knew that he was only capable of changing and but so much. He still had the same basic principals and that was part of the problem. Another problem is that he could never give me a timeline. I was more than willing to share mine. He knew I wanted to be married, he knew that I don’t work without titles, he knew the relationship couldn’t keep going without forward movement. I don’t think I needed to give him a deadline to accomplish these tasks. If it was something he was capable of and wanted, he would have done it. He was happy with the way things were, I wanted more.

Looking back would I have gone down that 2nd chance road with him? Absolutely.

By Leggs

January 6, 2009 3:01 PM | Link to this

That tickled me Truth, because I cook 3 meals a day on the weekends. I cook our breakfast, our lunch and our dinner. Been doing it since she was born. Now, must admit I don’tcook dinner on Friday. We all can find some hodge podge meal in the fridge. If not, bacon and eggs or pancakes will be our dinner.

By kimmie

January 6, 2009 3:04 PM | Link to this

you knew i was a piece crap when you married me. - Yeah Truth, you right about that, you always kept it real. Funny, Amred mentioned her friend was a sugarcoated you. I dated a dude that was a mini-Truth too. A whole lot of what you say on here I have heard before, so nothing you say shocks me. You can’t “change” a dude, especially one like you into Mr. Traditional. I respect you for just being you and being straight up about it. That’s the difference in you and the mini-you I dealt with. No way in heck I could marry a dude like you if you ever got it in your head that that’s what you wanted, but I respect you for keeping it real.

BK - You wrote See? As usual I am amazed at these jellyback dudes yoll come on here talking about - no pride at all. Yoll chicks be virtually spitting in dudes’ faces and they’re still camping on your front porch. WTF’s up with that? You would be surprised at how many of your boys talk all hard around you and turn to straight jello behind closed-doors behind some woman! Yes, where is the pride? He would’nt have to tell me twice! That’s why I take a lot of the crap yall spout out with a grain of salt, but sift through for the jewels you sometimes drop!

By Blow Me

January 6, 2009 3:07 PM | Link to this

Truth Sweet heart…I cook 2 meals for my man daily and most certainly at least once a day…I treat mines like a damn king…he gets served his meals and I do this with a smile. Also in africa they circumsize thier women so that’s a whole nother topic. If you had a virgin you would not want that…You want your wife to sex you silly til you could not take no more…so let’s be HONEST here. Quit grouping me with the hussies you have dealt with. We are not all the same…stop it. There are women out there that is actually offering something. smh. Who is to say I am not a traditional woman? You have no idea! That’s what’s funny. Again I am not perfect but I will not ask for anything I am not willing to give. PERIOD!!

Dan Something told me that would go WAYYYYYYYY over you head. GO figure. lol. Yet my good post seem to stay gettin overlooked by the fellas. lol.

Melo Not you too…lol.

By Raqi

January 6, 2009 3:08 PM | Link to this

More of my selective and choppy reading…

”Most men resent…” Poppa my husband gay female cousin spent the holidays with us. He second mission in life is to “un-gay” her. While having one of their usual discussions (relationships) she asked him what is the most important thing that ‘Raqi’ must do for him. He laid out the four things a woman must do to be and remain his woman. (Paraphrased)

1)Support – Back him in his endeavors and dreams.

2) Respect – Respect him for the man that he is and the one I chose to be with.

3) Appreciation – Appreciate his efforts in the bettering and maintaining our lives.

4) Love – Love him. Period.

I know that is what you were talking about but I am scanning comments as I go and that one you made brought this back to mind.

By The Truth

January 6, 2009 3:08 PM | Link to this

Ayn Rand gone undercover in the 09?

*Ared I’ll give you a timeline if thats what you need. Anything so i can continue getting those naughty phone calls from you at 3 in the morning. You make up the timeline and I’ll sign it. Then we’ll go to church and swear an oath of allegiance. Call me your wittle Beau just one more time.

By lurker

January 6, 2009 3:09 PM | Link to this

Melo Nevermind. I was going somewhere with that had you did the right spin but it’s okay. I basically agreed with your 2:14 post and don’t think you could have said it better. We’ll leave it there, K?

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 3:11 PM | Link to this

kimmie…sh…shu..shhhhh….

By Raqi

January 6, 2009 3:16 PM | Link to this

And Poppa I truly took to heart how love came in at number four. I already know that love alone cannot make a relationship. But listening to him tell her why she has crashed and burned in all of relationship attempts with a man was just really enlightening.

What was funny though, she tried to rebuttal and tell him how treat a woman. He quickly cut her off by saying “you ain’’t to tell me nothing. I got a woman. you need a man.”

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 3:16 PM | Link to this

I’ll give you a timeline if thats what you need. Anything so i can continue getting those naughty phone calls from you at 3 in the morning.

LOL. Just like a guy Truth. Y’all will say anything once our bags are packed and sitting at the door. LOL

By Dan

January 6, 2009 3:17 PM | Link to this

@Blow

It’s not that I don’t understand what you are saying. I expect a woman to have more than sex to offer, just don’t get how that applies to me.

I’m with For Real…I’mma need you to spell out that “Good Woman” jive today.

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

January 6, 2009 3:18 PM | Link to this

Raqi Oh girl I ned to be on your diet..minus the baby! LOL So now you are actually starting to show because you are no longer on that river in Egypt called De-Nial!

• I think it is just hard for some men to accept that we are actually able to function without them* Girl isn’t that the truth! Newsflash…men you are not the air we breathe nor the food we eat so we can survive without you! LOL

NC Girl LMAO…who know that may work!

Blue LMAO…sounds like me except you know I don’t drink Coke son! I am Pepsi all the way man. I’m a yankee. It felt so good to see the Pepsi all over the city these past 2 weeks. I even ordered a Pepsi at a restaurant just cause. LOL

For Real Hey…I dove off a cliff in Jamaica (d*mn rum punch)….now would I do it agian…Hellz NO! But I had the adventure! LOL

Blanca I should have mentioned in the topic that my buddy just came out of a bad breakup before dating her current guy…I think that’s why she’s holding on to him so tightly. Sounds like your girl is using him as a crutch/security blanket. Tell her to stop being Linus (Charlie Brown) and let it go. She can’t hold on to him or use him to make her feel better. She needs to be alone with herself and fix that relationship first before being with another guy.

Blow me REAL WOMEN WILL NOT TRY TO TRICK YOU WITH THEIR SNATCH I agree…that si why I keep mine under lock and key. Granted it’s been so long it’s probably got cobwebs…LOL But I think if a guy tries to push sex too soon then that is all he is interested in and he can kick rocks!

By Stormy

January 6, 2009 3:18 PM | Link to this

TRUTH

I digress….sigh, aaaaaaaaah.

That’s all

By The Truth

January 6, 2009 3:18 PM | Link to this

Blow you sound like you may be a good wife, if thats what a guys looking for. I’m not. Whats your mans name because i have a partner thats always talking about this freaky chick that burns all his food. Sounds like you and her may be the same person.

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 3:23 PM | Link to this

That’s why we dialogue err’day…somedays…some take vacations and do what? come back and BLOG some mo’!

Both sides of this “sphere”, know good ‘n well that there is mostly not any TRASH commenting on the blog daily.

X chromosones, or Y chromosones will NEVER think alike.

By For Real

January 6, 2009 3:23 PM | Link to this

Didn’t I read that a chick on this very blog wouldn’t date a dude that didn’t have a nice car?

Men think women can’t live without them + It’s His lost = Kissing their own azz

Blow What is a REAL WOMAN and please don’t tell me how as an ADULT you take care of yourself?

For Real now spitting OJ back into the jug after rinsing his mouth and sticking the jug back in MK’s frig.

Truth Hey come on bruh that ain’t fair. How do you expect Blow spend 12 hours a day working the grill and the register to come home and cook 3 meals.

By MELO

January 6, 2009 3:26 PM | Link to this

1)Support – Back him in his endeavors and dreams.

2) Respect – Respect him for the man that he is and the one I chose to be with.

3) Appreciation – Appreciate his efforts in the bettering and maintaining our lives.

4) Love – Love him. Period I wld agree altho understanding that is complex for most females.Thats where u get the divide tween marrieds and not marrieds. Also in africa they circumsize thier women so that’s a whole nother topic so are u my sister Zanele??..blow, u mean u been undercover all along…..

lurker dont be shy,u learn on this blog….chalking it up is honorable but not easy.But who says life is easy.U will feel better about urself tho once u weathr the storm of the pain and move on and realize that u set ur sights on getting a different man than the one u lost.U see, getting dizzle is easy.Hop into any club at nite,sme bro will want to hit that,no strings attached and at short notice.Getting it from one who realy loves u is even better and more pleasurable.But its the harder part.Choose the route u want.

By Kym

January 6, 2009 3:28 PM | Link to this

Truth

I may not be traditional in your eyes but in the kitchen I have to be. My son is going to be some woman’s nightmare to feed.

First off he is accustomed to 3 meals per day and two snacks. Now that he is older he may forego breakfast unless there is cereal or poptarts, yogurt in the house. snack maybe yogurt, banannas, or popcorn(during school he can’t get a snacktime so he carries it in his lunch but the he will get that second snack after school-it is the law)

dinner-lets just say his first question after being picked up from the Boys and Girls club is.. “Mom what’s for dinner?” This is conditioning and frankly not my fault.

It is the doing of his babysitter and my aunt.True Traditional Women

My son went to home daycare and was fed waffles or pancakes for breakfast(as a toddler)the babies got grits or oatmeal. Baby food was only bought as seasoning to compliment the real food. And by the time he was one…he wouldn’t eat it anything Gerber made. Because the “traditional women” in his life started something that I have been forced to finish.

So whateva woman nabs my son had better know Paula Dean’s cooking methods really well.

By M'Karyl

January 6, 2009 3:28 PM | Link to this

Naw Ared…that is when you have the fake bags packed…you know, the ones with all of the old newspapers…just to add the weight…lol

By SexyCool - UnCut

January 6, 2009 3:29 PM | Link to this

I chose life over love, because love threatened to do me in. Whereas love will come back around, I don’t know if I’ll live again.

What I really wanted was to Live a life of love, But the chasm between reality and dreams Could not be overcome.

Love became too heavy, A weighty cross to bear. Before too long the pain began to exceed how much I cared.

My head said one thing, leave, just go - Full of practicality. My heart kept pressing me to love Far past my ability.

The love that I believed we could have, Was obviously, never to be. And when it came time to make a choice. The person I chose was me.

By M'Karyl

January 6, 2009 3:32 PM | Link to this

@For Real

I only drink fresh squeezed OJ…lol

By The Truth

January 6, 2009 3:32 PM | Link to this

For Real lmao.

I’ve never heard a dude sum up his existence through hiw woman. Women sum up their existence through their man everyday.

A dude without a steady woman=player

A woman without a steady man=miserable

Staceye the right womans gonna come along and blow off those cobwebs. Just wait and see.

By i'm swiss

January 6, 2009 3:33 PM | Link to this

“Why couldn’t the guy have loved the chick but decided thats not where he wants his life to go? Is love the default standard, meaning whenever you hit the sweet spot everything else becomes secondary so you can address this love thing? Love is an emotion, one of many. Don’t put all your stock in any one emotion because they all change over time.”

@Truth — Fair enough… I over-simplified my interpretation for comedic effect. Certainly, it’s possible dude has some feelings for the chic — just not enough.

I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but when I found the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, everything else did become secondary. Career is great, but at the end of the day, I work to live; I don’t live to work.

By Blow Me

January 6, 2009 3:36 PM | Link to this

Oh snap!! He told you that…I was a little tired that day…thats why the chicken came out extra crispy. ;)

By MELO

January 6, 2009 3:39 PM | Link to this

men you are not the air we breathe nor the food we eat so we can survive without you we know,u just dont function right even tho u survive.Ask Tazzee,she is well balanced to tell u.

a guy tries to push sex too soon then that is all he is interested in and he can kick rocks! another of the now u see me,now u dont theories in ur head.There is nothing like too soon or late in a man once he is bent on getting it.IF a man is valuing ur poosy and determined to get it,he will play a game that even the mafia have not been able to play in their esteemed history.I know better.And he will spend whatever sums of money and let u drive his bentley to ur house,just to make u feel secure in ur self that ur poosy was made for him.Thats why the break up alwayz is fantasy to u guys coz u never saw it coming!! For the most part i wld say, woman are in control be4 u let the panties slip..Once u swallow,its anybody’s guess what the male will do.All u females can do is hope and PRAY TO ALMIGHTY that he willl steady up,see it the way u do and propose.All u can do is try and act right as alwaysz, hoping he will see ur ways and appreciate. U have no control here on his actions.NOONE.

By AmazonRed

January 6, 2009 3:41 PM | Link to this

I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but when I found the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, everything else did become secondary.

Swiss, that’s what I’m hoping for. It should be so simple and fall into place when it’s right. I couldn’t let myself be fine with just smooth sailing. The boat needed to dock somewhere. LOL

By Poppa Grande

January 6, 2009 3:41 PM | Link to this

Raqi

M’s list is correct for me as well, and pretty much in that order.

Love is nice, but respect is a must.

It is non-negotiable.

By kimmie

January 6, 2009 3:42 PM | Link to this

Kym - Maybe not Paula Deen, most of her recipes are a heart attack waiting to happen!LOL! But I know what you mean.

By Poppa Grande

January 6, 2009 3:43 PM | Link to this

Dr. Sanjay has parlayed the CNN gig into a Surgeon General nomination from Obama.

By just a girl

January 6, 2009 3:49 PM | Link to this

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back it is meant to be.

Simple as that.

By Leggs

January 6, 2009 3:50 PM | Link to this

Truth did you really mean to post “the right woman” for Staceye?

By Tazzee

January 6, 2009 3:50 PM | Link to this

SexyCool loved that! I’m going to print that and put it on my wall giving you full credit of course

Melo hmm, don’t know why you said to ask me about that one, but I agree. We most definitely can survive without you - but you’re right, without the male counterpart we don’t function right. Just like men don’t function right without us. There is a reason we were created the way we were.

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 3:55 PM | Link to this

any club at nite,sme bro will want to hit that,no strings attached and at short notice.Getting it from one who realy loves u is even better and more pleasurable.But its the harder part.Choose the route u want.

^^^ got some sense…

don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but when I found the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, everything else did become secondary. Career is great, but at the end of the day, I work to live; I don’t live to work.

^ why is this not said more often.

By Leggs

January 6, 2009 3:55 PM | Link to this

Truth did you really mean to post “the right woman” for Staceye?

By Kym

January 6, 2009 3:55 PM | Link to this

PoppaG Are you serious? Okay that is a popularity thang.

By Poppa Grande

January 6, 2009 3:58 PM | Link to this

Kimmie

Maybe not Paula Deen, most of her recipes are a heart attack waiting to happen!

It is not an accident that she was stick of butter for Halloween. She loves that stuff.

Furthermore, I saw her make breadsticks wrapped in bacon as an appetizer. Yuck! All of that bacon grease ends up in a breadstick! Why not just pour the bacon grease down the guests throat!

Seriously though, I have been to her restaurant, and it wasn’t bad. However it is like the Varsity. You can’t eat it often.

The funny thing was the Paula was outside smoking on the occasion that we visited. I thought to myself between butter and cigarettes she is asking for a heart attack.

By Blow Me

January 6, 2009 3:59 PM | Link to this

Men need women point blank…if not they are like you bitter and miserable so we are one in the same. We were made for each other existence. I am the other rib.

By Raqi

January 6, 2009 4:00 PM | Link to this

*”I don’t know, maybe it’s just me…I work to live; I don’t live to work.”

imswiss Your 3:33 is what I was trying to convey in my very first post. There are different times in our lives where certain things matter more than others. I wouldn’t dare tell my 20 year old son to put love before life. He is at a time in his life that he needs to get it together. He needs to become the man he is to be. That’s where his priority needs to remain right now. After then he will be equipped to take on and make love a priority. He needs to mature and become stable and established. Until then he needs to keep his head facing forward and off of those narrow behind girls.

By Poppa Grande

January 6, 2009 4:03 PM | Link to this

Kym

If I’m not mistaken, he is a neurosurgeon, and a teacher at Emory Medical School. He works on spine injuries. He has to know his stuff.

I wouldn’t consider it a popularity contest unless he didn’t have the credentials.

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 4:03 PM | Link to this

I saw her make breadsticks wrapped in bacon as an appetizer.

When? Ah, appetizer?! That’s a backwards pig in the blanket!

I thought she said she was gonna stop smoking. She said.

PoppaG The boys seem a lil different? I can’t put my finger on it.

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

January 6, 2009 4:09 PM | Link to this

Kimmie You would be surprised at how many of your boys talk all hard around you and turn to straight jello behind closed-doors behind some woman!

Now I know a that a dude’s going to dull the edge a little when dealing with his girl, but dayum, please don’t tell me that dudes are out here acting like polar bear rugs.

Staceye The funny thing is that I got a real visual. I could honestly see you halfway up the steps, throw the ice over your shoulder, turn back towards the dudes with a sneer, then roll your eyes and head on up the steps. LOL And me back in row J thinkin’, “Look at that MF’n Staceye. I wish she would try that sh!t with me.” LMAO

By Poppa Grande

January 6, 2009 4:11 PM | Link to this

Cee

I thought she said she was gonna stop smoking. She said.

It has been about 4 years since we visiting Lady and Sons or whatever it is called. We drove down from Charleston, SC to Savannah. So she may have quit since then. But I remember a Monica Pearson (Kaufman) close-up where she still smoked.

However, there are just so many great places in Charleston (The Crabhouse on James Island, which is Roddy White’s home, is outstanding.), we haven’t gotten back to Savannah.

By MELO

January 6, 2009 4:12 PM | Link to this

Melo hmm, don’t know why you said to ask me about that one, but I agree well,maybe,Dang it!!, i wld have married u had i not been compromised.I kinda undertand ur thinking a lil…..will u plz pray for my divorce to get sorted out quickly and promise to wait patiently for me on the other side??

By Raqi

January 6, 2009 4:16 PM | Link to this

Bacon??? Did somebody say bacon? I want some bacon. And a big pancake…eww…but yummy. I hate pancakes. I hate the texture of them in my mouth. But I want a pancake. NOW!!!

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

January 6, 2009 4:19 PM | Link to this

Truth the only woman who can make 3 meals a day is one who has no job and no real life except being a wife! I give it to them. I would rather blow my own brains out than be a housewife. I need to contribute to a household financially just as much as a man so he never thinks he has some kind of power over me and calling everything down to the knickers on my azz, his because they were paid for with “his” money! This behavior is why women now shun that housewife title. Now there are some old fashion ones and the rest are just lazy tramps who would rather let a man take care of them in exchange for dignity! Not I!

Blow * If you had a virgin you would not want that…You want your wife to sex you silly til you could not take no more* girl that is teh truth! They talk about a virgin..then get mad and cheat on her because she is not freaky enough in bed! Well hello dumbazz…it takes experience to be good in bed. And it doesn’t happen over night! So please quit talking out of both sides of your mouths.

As for female circumsions…that of course was thought up by some dumb azz men who think that sex is only supposed to be enjoyable to them. Never mind the pain of it and the infection that sets in afterwards, the emotional scars oh and the possible risk of death for this senseless act. I wonder how men would feel if some decided to chop off part of their family jewels ..oh yeah with no anesthesia (the only idea of pain management is to bite down on a stick)! That is just sick, twisted and demented and they should all burn in hell for that type of torture!

Sexycool Are you quoting the song, “Me” by Tamia?

Truth You are so not fuuny! Just because I am not breaking my neck and changing myself to get a man does not mean I am gay! I just refuse to settle for less or deal wiht BS! Plain and Simple.

Melo I function pretty well thank you! And as far as the game…the old me would fall for it. But I ain’t giving up nada for a minute. If he bounces then good riddens! That is one disease or pregnancy scare less that I have to deal with! LOL Even though I would always use protection because STDs scare me shtless as well as the thought of being stuck with some jackhole’s spawn…nothing but abstinence is 100%! *

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

January 6, 2009 4:21 PM | Link to this

Melo dapps on that 3:39. You’re pitchin’ a 1-hitter today ain’t’cha champ?!

Raqi I hate pancakes. I hate the texture of them in my mouth. But I want a pancake. NOW!!!

Please don’t say, “…with ice cream and pickle juice.”

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 4:22 PM | Link to this

PoppaG I’m partial b/c I think Savannah is one of the most beautiful spots in that area. Charleston is so quiet but nice there too. I’ve never eaten at Paula’s restaurant. The eateries on River Sreet in Savannah are pretty good.

By The Truth

January 6, 2009 4:22 PM | Link to this

Swiss when I saw my ex wife it was love at first site too. But marriage and kids wasn’t anywhere in my scope. I’m glad I got married to see what it was about but I’m happier that I got divorced. I don’t want to be that dude you must become to be someone’s husband. The thing I fear more than death is not living the life I want and being married falls into that category.

Ared this is just guy chest thumping. You know it doesn’t pertain to you and I’m getting my blood test on the morrow. You too Kimmie see you two down the isle.

By kimmie

January 6, 2009 4:23 PM | Link to this

Poppa/Kym - He’s also on staff at Grady. Did you see his report a few years ago Grady’s Anatomy on CNN with a behind-the-scenes look at the lives of some of his emergency room collegues at Grady? It followed each one from the start of their shift to the end and even what they did when they got off. Incredible! Yeah, he’s got it together, plus I got a little crush on him. I’m a sucker for intelligence!

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

January 6, 2009 4:24 PM | Link to this

Staceye he only woman who can make 3 meals a day is one who has no job and no real life except being a wife!

…now waiting on Leggs to chime in.

Off Topic: Dagmar Midcap looks like the broad next door. She’s probably a big azz freak. Hmmm…

By Poppa Grande

January 6, 2009 4:25 PM | Link to this

Raqi

Well,I hope that you have an IHOP near you…lol

& to think IHOP had coupons in this Sunday’s paper.

By Ms. Davis

January 6, 2009 4:25 PM | Link to this

A man can make the Virgin Mary tell a lie when he don’t want to be in a relationship. If he loved her the location and getting out of school would not matter. This sounds like some BS and put your boots on because it is going to get thick.

By MELO

January 6, 2009 4:29 PM | Link to this

the only woman who can make 3 meals a day is one who has no job and no real life except being a wife LOL..nice one staceye.Im gonna get u.

Well hello dumbazz…it takes experience to be good in bed hahaha..LMAOF….ill give u the experience,stop slinging that azz!!

When waz the last time u got some?? Dizzle is anesthesia…when u get knocked up(see the running back visual on my 2.24) u will be ready to do 3 meals a day..and u wont even think/use ur brain.Like Nike,U Just Do It!! Even though I would always use protection because STDs scare me shtless that there tells me ur rehab is going on phine,u almost ready to get back in the game.GOOD JOB SO FAR.Proud of u.

By Stormy

January 6, 2009 4:30 PM | Link to this

PG

My husband and I visited Savannah last year and ate at her restaurant….it was good.

I saw an episode in which she took two Krispy Kreme donuts, a fried eggs and sausage and made a breakfast sandwich…sort of like an egg mcmuffin. Nasty!!!!

By Brunson

January 6, 2009 4:33 PM | Link to this

raqi i am so out of the loop, are you expecting? if so, congratulations

By Kelly

January 6, 2009 4:35 PM | Link to this

My question is “why are you trying to hold on to someone who has made it crystal clear; you are not the person they now choose to be with”? What is wrong with her? I say move on quickly; there are plenty of fish in the sea.

By Tazzee

January 6, 2009 4:35 PM | Link to this

PoppaG speaking of coupons, this was a GREAT coupon week. well for me at least Sweet Tomatoes, oatmeal, PopSecret popcorn…I could go on and on. I was having Sunday lunch, just excited about my coupons!!!

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 4:42 PM | Link to this

Tazzee You’re going there with the PopSecret. Now i’m sitting with Raqi cravin’ stuff.

By Ms. Davis

January 6, 2009 4:42 PM | Link to this

A man can make the Virgin Mary tell a lie when he don’t want to be in a relationship. If he loved her the location and getting out of school would not matter. This sounds like some BS and put your boots on because it is going to get thick.

By Leggs

January 6, 2009 4:45 PM | Link to this

Why you waiting on me BlueK, I agree. I cook on the weekends. No way I can do 3 meals a day. I cook dinner every other night, sometimes every night if there aren’t any leftovers. I’ve never strived to be a housewife just like I no longer strive to be a wife.

By Poppa Grande

January 6, 2009 4:47 PM | Link to this

Cee

Savannah and Charleston almost look like twins to me. Both of them are former capitals of their states. They are port cities. Slave sales were big in both cities…fresh off the boat you know.

The Spoleto Festival happens around every Memorial Day. It is cool. Those grass baskets, and grass hats.

Charleston has really been on the come up since Kiawah Island and Edisto Island. Those island are major resorts now. Tiger Woods has a place there on Kiawah and has a golf course or is designing a course for there.

Tennis championship happen there regularly as well.

Our house is on Johns Island. We have a dock in the back yard and can get blue crab anytime.

By Tazzee

January 6, 2009 4:49 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli I was sick to death when I got here and saw how expensive PopSecret is!!! In Houston, my local grocery store would have the six pack (regla size) and 10 pack (snack size) boxes at 2/$5. I check each week to see if PopSecret is on sale so that coupon was right on time, especially with double coupons at Kroger.

Hmm, I gotta work late (conference call at 5pm) I might have to go pop me a bag real quick, LOL.

By MELO

January 6, 2009 4:50 PM | Link to this

Cee and Poppa i been to Savannah once…lets talk about it tmrw and ill tell u what i think coz i wont see ur response.Think Hilton Head meanwhile and lets talk tmrw!Im partial to it tho, i own a peace.

By Leggs

January 6, 2009 4:50 PM | Link to this

Why you waiting on me BlueK, I agree. I cook on the weekends. No way I can do 3 meals a day. I cook dinner every other night, sometimes every night if there aren’t any leftovers. I’ve never strived to be a housewife just like I no longer strive to be a wife.

By Shawty-T Lo

January 6, 2009 4:51 PM | Link to this

WHAT THE HE LL’S GOIN’ON FOLK!!! HAPPY ZERO NINE, G/D

Ragu Say it ain’t so, u’s knocked up. Awh, nawh. U knows Imma try b happy fer yall.

M’Karyl What u know good? Smoked a big one for you during the holidays. The chief says, “Where the pluck you been?”

Leggy Poo I knows u always keepin’ it sexy.

Melo Sees you did not get “hooked on phonics 4 Chritmas.” Same ole’ ignant writing.

HAPPY M/F NEW YEAR

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 4:52 PM | Link to this

PoppaG Speaking of slave sales/boats, i’m tryin to think of that town i drive through when i travel to see my folks in south Ga. Do you know this town still has a slave Auction Porch with the chains and a price list up?! It is set-up right in the middle of downtown in the town.

I cain’t think of the name of the city, though.

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

January 6, 2009 4:52 PM | Link to this

“why are you trying to hold on to someone who has made it crystal clear; you are not the person they now choose to be with”? What is wrong with her?

One last thought, and I’ll use Kelly’s post as a lead-in. A female’s will go to great lengths to protect her ego when it comes to relationship break-ups. As long as she can say that she “let it go”, “broke it off”, “it was his loss”, blah blah, she’s good to go.

But the thought that dude initiated proceedings and is choosing another, is just too much for some females.

So females, be the best La-dy that you can be, so that your man will want to stay (like Melo said you have no choice in the matter, it’s a dudes choice); because there’ll always be a broad out there prettier, finer, maybe kinder just waiting to take him off your hands.

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

January 6, 2009 4:53 PM | Link to this

Blue And me back in row J thinkin’, “Look at that MF’n Staceye. I wish she would try that sh!t with me Come sit a lil’ closer love! I got some for you too! LMAO

By Too funny

January 6, 2009 4:53 PM | Link to this

Staceye the right womans gonna come along and blow off those cobwebs. Just wait and see.…lmao!!!! That really was funny as hellz tho…lol!!!

By MELO

January 6, 2009 4:54 PM | Link to this

piece, i meant

By Cemeeli

January 6, 2009 4:57 PM | Link to this

oh. Tazzee is it kettle corn? Lol @ regla. Yeah ALL my favorite meats at the market have gone up. I’ma be a vegiterian not really when the boy is on his carnivore spurt. I can live off fish and grits alone.

I know you know by now.

By Leggs

January 6, 2009 5:00 PM | Link to this

Hello Shawty-T.

Good night everyone!

Be respectful of the people around you. Keep a smile on your face simply because attitude is everything!

By Tazzee

January 6, 2009 5:03 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli nope, homestyle - that’s the only way I go.

By Leggs

January 6, 2009 5:05 PM | Link to this

Hello Shawty-T.

Good night everyone!

Be respectful of the people around you. Keep a smile on your face simply because attitude is everything!

By SHERA

January 7, 2009 8:08 AM | Link to this

He’s obviously “not that into her.” She needs to walk away quickly, no RUN, and not look back. She’s got an MBA! She doesn’t need a man! She needs to experience life too. She will discover that he did her a BIG favor!