Sign in  |  Register

AJC.com > Living > Blog

Take it off

A reader emailed me to get advice from the blog. Sara has been dating Mark nearly a year and she has found that he has sort of a hang up, of sorts. He does not like her to see him naked, like ever. She doesn’t understand it because he she says he is attractive and moderately fit. When she tries to get him to take it all off, he can only manage to comply for a few minutes.

Talking about it hasn’t gotten her anywhere, so what should she do? Is there anything she can do to make him more at ease?

Whenever you date someone, you eventually discover these quirky little hang ups over time. You never know what hang ups may emerge and actually pose a challenge to your relationship. How have you handled dealing with someone’s hang up about sex, intimacy, etc.? How do you reveal yours? Do you cop to it as soon as possible?

Happy Friday!

Permalink | Comments (96) | Post your comment | Categories: Relationships

Latest comments

WiseDiva I don’t think they guy is crazy, just a little out of character for the average man. But like it’s already been said, we don’t know the underlying issues that he could be dealing with. Oh and I prayed for you last

... read the full comment by Raqi | Comment on Take it off Read Take it off

leggs when is this ‘party’ you are having? ive never made it to any of your shin-digs…. but i know from others they are a lot of fun. raqi ok. thank you for that: make sure your man leave

... read the full comment by DASvenus | Comment on Take it off Read Take it off

Thanks for the laugh Dan, yes, you must be losing days AGAIN. My party is tomorrow (Saturday). I get what you’re saying Raqi in terms of the bigger picture. However, I’m over thinking that if my man

... read the full comment by Leggs | Comment on Take it off Read Take it off

Off topic: They’re about to sentence OJ for murder, 14 years late. Leave that cat alone. On topic: Everyone in here has to cop to one quirk. We all have them. LOL ## alot of chicks come with that if I was married to

... read the full comment by The Truth | Comment on Take it off Read Take it off

The Halley’s Comet of Dating

Have you ever met someone and had chemistry and compatibility happening at the same time? Yeah, it’s rare. It’s like the Halley’s Comet of dating. You don’t know when it will happen, it’s hard to predict if you will even live along enough to experience it. If you are lucky enough to experience it, then it’s a wondrous thing.

I have hope that getting that crazy, sexy, cool chemistry with someone who I am actually compatible with will happen. If I am waiting 76 years before I get to see that, so be it! It’s that important to me. At the risk of spinster-hood, (which I am officially approaching!) I think it is worth it to find. I haven’t pushed my panic button yet. You know, that OMG, I will die alone! panic button.

How do you rank chemistry when you meet someone? Is it possible that the chemistry is what makes you compatible or vice versa?

When I have chemistry with a guy, I have a strong, practically visceral reaction to him. I see plenty of hot guys in Atlanta, but not many invoke that strong chemistry. Unfortunately, after weeks of dating, compatibility evades us. Then we are left with chemistry, and little else to sustain things. How does chemistry with someone work with you?

Should single people give up on the compatibility and chemistry combination? Is it really obtainable?

Permalink | Comments (265) | Post your comment | Categories: Dating

Suspended for Stupidity

I was following sports coverage yesterday of Plaxico Burress and Sean Avery. As I read along, I was thinking that although these gentleman were suspended for different reasons, both of these knuckleheads have a lot of growing up to do.

Sean Avery made some remarks to reporters pertaining to his dating history: “I’m really happy to be back in Calgary; I love Canada. I just want to comment on how it’s become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don’t know what that’s about, but enjoy the game tonight.” Way to stay classy Avery! Bitter much?

The NHL said that the suspension was because of “the inappropriate public comments, not pertaining to the game” but I think he also broke some kind of male dating rule: Don’t publicly trash your ex! Do you think the NHL should have suspended Avery?

Have you ever done something incredibly stupid to your ex? Did it backfire on you?

Have you ever dated someone and later found out they were talking trash about you post-break up? How did you handle it?

Why do we take it so personally when things don’t work out in a dating relationship? I think that the way things end plays an important role in how we handle it. It doesn’t always have to be so messy, does it? How do you keep your break-ups classy and clean?

Permalink | Comments (223) | Post your comment | Categories: Sports

What’s Your BMI?

Sorry fitness fans! I am not referring to Body Mass Index. I am talking about Basic Male Insecurity, here. One thing I have learned about dating men, they have insecurities too. They are masters of concealing them and can put them in check fairly well (how do you guys do that!?), BUT they do exist.

I’ve heard that the way a woman handles her man’s BMI can make a huge difference in her being wife material! So how do smart women contend with the BMIs? First we have to be able to recognize them!

Guys, what do you think are some basic male insecurities? Have you found that being in a relationship allows you to handle them more effectively then when you are single? How would you advise a woman about dealing with insecurities a man may have?

Ladies, have you ever dated someone with BMIs that challenged your potential relationship? How did you handle it? What worked best for you? A lot of times, women are said not to know how to keep a man because it takes some finesse handling this type of thing. Do you agree?

Permalink | Comments (287) | Post your comment | Categories: All About Him

World AIDS Day

Today is World AIDS Day and 2008 marks the 20th anniversary of this campaign. It is a day to raise awareness, educate people, and motivate the world to continue to fight the disease. There is no doubt that HIV and AIDS made a huge impact on the way we date. Sadly, despite the education and awareness, the numbers are still staggering.

According to the CDC, in 2007, the estimated number of persons living with HIV worldwide was 33.2 million and there were 2.7 million people newly infected. As a society, we have to continue to promote education and awareness.

The US Department of Health provides helpful fact sheets that can be distributed to inform and educate people.

In honor of World AIDS day, what would you like to do to make a difference? Have you ever volunteered with a program that targets AIDS awareness, education, or assists those living with it? If so, what were you experiences?

How do you think we as single people, specifically, can make a difference? Do you know anyone who has AIDS? Are you living with HIV/AIDS?

Recently, I said that I am surprised that people still hook up with strangers for one night stands. Do you think this will ever change? What do you do to protect yourself?

Permalink | Comments (137) | Post your comment | Categories: Current Events