MONDAY

• “Dancing With the Stars,” 8 p.m. ABC (season debut) — Steve-O, Lil Kim, Denise Richards and Steve Wozniak are among the oddball celebs this time around.

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AP

Breaking news from ABC?s ?Dancing with the Stars?: Both Nancy O?Dell (torn meniscus in the knee) and Jewel (fractured tibias in both lower legs) are out.

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• “How I Met Your Mother” 8:30 p.m. CBS— Ted’s latest flame is an old flame: played by Laura Prepon! Marshall and Lily aren’t too happy about this development.

• “Heroes,” 9 p.m. NBC — “Smallville” vet John Glover plays Sylar’s dad.

• “24,” 9 p.m. Fox —The president has been kidnapped — in the White House! How will Jack & his buds save her?

• “Medium,” 10 p.m. NBC — Allison is now dreaming about the end of days — and it appears to have nothing to do with the current economy.

• “Saving Grace,” 10 p.m. TNT — Grace is back and she is now having to work with Abby, played by Christina Ricci.

TUESDAY

• “American Idol,” 8 p.m. Fox — It’s a top 13 this year with eight guys, five gals. Early favorites: Danny Gokey, Anoop Desai, Lil Rounds, Alexis Grace. Theme tonight: Michael Jackson songs. Hopefully, nobody grabs themselves inappropriately.

• “The Biggest Loser: Couples,” 8 p.m. NBC — Relay race winners get spa treatments.

• “Law & Order: SVU,” 10 p.m. NBC — ADA Alexandra Cabot (Stephanie March) pops up at a crime scene after three years in the witness protection program.

• “Trust Me,” 10 p.m. TNT — Heat’s on and Mason and Conner think there are better jobs out there.

• “The Real Housewives of New York City,” 10 p.m. Bravo — Bethenny looked great in that bikini, eh?

WEDNESDAY

• “America’s Next Top Model,” 8 p.m. the CW — It’s makeover time, which usually means somebody gets their hair chopped off.

• “The Chopping Block,” 8 p.m. NBC (new series) — Yet another cooking competition show, led by another mean Brit. This time it’s Marco Pierre White. Two Atlantans are featured.

• “Lie to Me,” 8 p.m. Fox — Loker and Torres look into the truthfulness of an activist’s best-selling memoir a la James Frey.

• “American Idol,” 9 p.m. Fox — Kanye West and Kelly Clarkson perform. It’s likely the show will nix two people tonight since they have 13 in tow instead of the usual 12.

• “Life on Mars,” 10 p.m. ABC —The show has not been renewed for another season so enjoy Sam and Annie posing as swingers at a “key” party.

THURSDAY

• “Smallville,” 8 p.m. the CW — Tori Spelling alert: she plays a journalist trying to blackmail Clark.

• “Kath & Kim,” 8:30 p.m. NBC (season finale) — This horrid show will hopefully die a quiet death — tonight.

• “Grey’s Anatomy,” 9 p.m. ABC — Derek quits. Will the others find a way to convince him to come back?.

• “Hell’s Kitchen,” 9 p.m. Fox — No pork tonight: it’s a meal for a Bar Mitzvah.

• “The Office,” 9 p.m. NBC — Inspired by Willy Wonka, Michael places “golden tickets” inside orders of Dunder Mifflin paper. Maybe inspired is not the right word for this idea.

• “Warriors,” 10 p.m. History (new series) — What were warriors like, say, 2,000 years ago? We find out via this testosterone-laden series..

FRIDAY

• “Everybody Hates Chris” 8 p.m. the CW — Tisha Campbell-Martin guest stars while Chris tries to hide a friend’s pot.

• “Wife Swap,” 8 p.m. ABC — This is the 100th episode! And we have returnees who liked to swap the first time around.

• “Ghost Whisperer,” 8 p.m. CBS — Sam rescues Melinda from mortal death but almost dies himself.

• “Dollhouse,” 9:01 p.m. Fox —Echo plays a blind woman mean to infiltrate a cult .

• “Friday Night Lights,” 9 p.m. NBC — The Panthers get a chance to be on national TV.

• “Battlestar Galactica,” 10 p.m. SciFi — This is part one of the heaviliy guarded two-part series finale for this popular sci-fi classic.

•“Numb3rs” 10 p.m. CBS — Gina Gershon guest stars as a detective.

WEEKEND

• “The Naked Brothers Band” 8 p.m. Saturday Nickelodeon — Rosaline returns with a French suitor in tow. Drama forthcoming!

• “Relative Stranger,” 9 p.m. Saturday Hallmark — Eriq La Salle of “E.R.” fame plays an ex football player reconnecting with family in this weeper.

• “Kings,” 8 p.m. Sunday NBC (new series) — Ian McShane (“Deadwood”) plays a modern day king in a fic\tional country that kind of looks like the United States.

• “Desperate Housewives,” 9 p.m. Sunday ABC — Is Susan no longer into dudes?

• “Big Love,” 9 p.m. Sunday HBO — Barb is “found out” and faces an excommunication hearing.

• “Brothers & Sisters,” 10 p.m. Sunday ABC— Tommy, the dullest character on the show, says goodbye.