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Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Testosterone Tuesday
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Uncle! Uncle!
Yep, that’s right. The Serf is begging for mercy (albeit employing suitably masculine terminology to do so), a mere three days into the official start of the fall TV season. I know, I know, Jonas Blane (Dennis Haysbert) would be so disappointed in me. Clearly, I’m not tough enough to serve under his command in “The Unit.” Heck, I’m barely tough enough even to WATCH “The Unit” anymore.
That’s thanks to CBS’s new Tuesday scheduling strategy, which debuted last night and which really should be re-dubbed “Floyd Landis TV.” Talk about your elevated testosterone levels! It starts with “NCIS,” where the tough-as-nails Navy criminal investigators are always hunting for terrorists or missing nuclear weapons, then heads right into “The Unit,” where the super secret Special Forces operatives are always hunting for terrorists or missing surface-to-air missiles, then finishes up with the new drama “Smith,” in which a scarily proficient gang of professional criminals sandwiches major heists in between a shooting here and a high speed powerboat chase there. Bam! Bam! Bam! CBS lines the shows up and mows ‘em down like targets on a firing range. The 11 p.m. news that follows seems downright sedate by comparison (Especially if there’s a panda story. And these days, there’s always a panda story).
This isn’t the first time CBS has offered up such an action-packed night of drama. Way, way back in the fall of 1987, the network’s Wednesday night lineup started out with “The Oldest Rookie,” starring Paul Sorvino as a 50-year-old beginning cop in the big city, then segued immediately, thrillingly, into “Magnum P.I.” and “The Equalizer.” The combination was so tantalizing to Papa Serf that he used to buy a giant submarine sandwich, set up a tray table in the den and declare it “He-Man Night.” Mother Serf knew she entered the room at her own peril.
Now, suddenly, it feels like He-Man Night all over again. I’m not saying CBS doesn’t know exactly what it’s doing with this new Tuesday lineup, or that it won’t have some appeal to female viewers. All I’m saying is it should come complete with a soundtrack of Tom Hanks screaming, “Are you crying? Are you CRYING? There’s no crying in TV-watching!”
But maybe if there was a submarine sandwich …
But enough about me. What did you think of all the new and returning Tuesday night shows?
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