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Monday, November 6, 2006
Desperate-ly Missed Housewife
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I miss her already.
Carolyn Bigsby was just about the best thing about the much improved-in-its-third-season “Desperate Housewives” — and now they’ve gone and killed her off!
At least I’m assuming she’s dead. She did wind up with a bullet hole in her head at the end of Sunday night’s episode, after all. That was after she’d stormed the supermarket owned by her philandering hubby and, waving a gun around in a half crazy/half “Of course I picked a revolver that didn’t clash with my sweater set and pearls” sorta way, taken him and a bunch of customers hostage.
“Attention, shoppers! We have a special today on not getting shot, but it’s only available at the back of the store,” announced Carolyn, who is (was?) played by Laurie Metcalf, who knows from crazy ladies, having co-starred on “Roseanne” all those years. One minute she was sweet as pie, talking on her cell to someone named “Tish”; the next, she was mowing down Lynette’s (Felicity Huffman) rival in the spur-of-the-moment fashion of a shopper who’d decided she might as well pick up a can of peas as long as she was in that aisle …
“I believe the phrase you’re looking for is ‘Thank you,’” she told a stunned-silent Lynette afterwards.
No, thank YOU, Carolyn. You were deliciously madcap and slightly heartbreaking all at the same time. In the process, you reminded us why “Housewives” was so must-see back there at the beginning. And because we didn’t actually see your corpse being wheeled out of the supermarket Sunday, I’m holding out hope that you’re still clinging to life over there in Frozen Foods ‘till they can figure out a cure for what ails ‘ya.
Failing that, my fondest wish is that you become “Housewives’” new Voice From The Great Beyond. Mary Alice has been filling that role for two-plus seasons, which not only strains credulity — frankly, it’s also become a downer. She’s always going on and on about her suicide, problems on Wisteria Lane, etc., etc. It’s high time she moved on, even if it’s just to haunt the cast of “What About Brian” for awhile. Some 22.5 million viewers (the biggest “Housewives” audience in nine months) can’t have been wrong Sunday.
“Carolyn’s back.” I believe that’s the phrase we’re looking for …
(SPECIAL ELECTION COVERAGE! Check back here Tuesday night, when The Serf will be blogging live on TV’s handling and mishandling of the all-important mid-term elections. Not that she’s drawing any parallels between having to do that and a person being held hostage in a supermarket, mind you …)
